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Ive had an ed for a number of years now, but it was only in the last 2 years that I developed anorexia; previously I had bulimia.

My parents became aware of my ED about a year ago when I started to significantly loose weight. I've now been in and out of hospital 3 times during this past year.

I am living with my parents despite being 19 due to mental health reasons and they are forcing me to eat. I'm being forced to eat 3 square meals a day and am under supervision constantly.

It's driving me utterly insane that I can no longer restrict. I'm generally a person who never says no and never is defiant, but it's gotten to the point where I've become that. It's really taking a toll on my mental health and it's horrible.

They say that if I don't eat they will section me force me to go to hospital. Honestly, I don't believe that they can do that in Australia.
And at this point in seriously concidering running off and becoming homeless just so I can restrict without interference.

Has anyone else had this problem and how did you deal with it?
It's driving me nuts not being able to feed my ED. It's gotten to the point where I'm more afraid for my safety now than I've ever been when restricting.
I hate how forcefully neurotic ED therapy is. It's almost dehumanizing. The only thing that works is trying to understand why it is you won't eat and moving from there, with empathy for yourself and your situation. Trying to stick out the situation for as long as you can.
Just eat dude. Food is good why are you afraid of it.
Honestly, if you're this defiant about people trying to save your life, you're meant for the dead anyway. If you won't eat, you're going to be dead within a year or two.

Don't become homeless, though, or they won't recognise your corpse.
You would already be dead in the wild. Maybe this is just natural selcection taking its course. If you wont eat you will die sooner or later. If this blunt truth is too much for you, then dont expect to last long
are those your hands?
yea but psychotherapy is long term, starving is fast.
Dear OP, I understand what you are going through, because I myself have suffered form body dismorphia and my sister (who diagnosed with an eating disorder) also suffered with her body image. However we are both doing well and received treatment to understand why we went down this road. Me and my sister may look and act differently, but the pain we felt mirrored each other.

We live in a chaotic world were people preach about one thing and expect another thing, posters showing “the next top model” that are plastered against the alley way of a nearby Mc Donalds. The consent propaganda is endless and inescapable, and it's only natural that this world view is taken into our subconscious mind to imagine how a “perfect human” should look like.

Logic says that this obviously edited photo is fake, however your emotions tells you to desire this “perfect form” to achieve self-worth. The diary and the computer my be in the same room, but they are both separate entities. It is easy for a person to point the finger and tell you to “eat more” to get better, but if they were really able to understand the constant dread of failing yourself, over and over again to reach something that is in reality not possible. Only then they have the right to judge.

You NEED this therapy to understand WHY you are going down this road. Trust me, a doctor needs another doctor when they are sick. As an anon I can only empathise about how you feel, I can't make these feelings go away, but I can tell you that you have to trust the treatment for both physical and emotional health. Your family loves you and that is why they are sending you there.

You are not crazy, you are not worthless, you are not ugly, you are not hated.
You are who you want to be!

I want you to feel better, because that is what you deserve. Be patient, be kind and most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Just eat OP wtf

After you go long enough without food it makes your stomach uncomfortable to eat, just do it for a while and you'll be back to normal
Yes, you can be sectioned, to save your life.
No, you don't want to be sectioned.

People who have recovered from anorexia did so by separating themselves from it. Anorexia is an enemy that is fighting with you for control of your body. If it wins, you die.

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