I am a college student who is still dating a boy from high school. At the time we started dating, I was severely depressed. So, I basically became obsessed and attached to him because we sat together in one class. He didn't return the feelings until 3 years later. I feel like he just kind of agreed though since I was so persistent. Anyways we have been together for 2.5 years now. I've had these conversations about uncertainty and insecurity with him before. It always ends in me apologizing and him saying "don't worry I love you". I am having feelings of needing to end things recently. I am a complete loner. Been diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and depression. He is a popular guy with a bunch of friends and a good future. It's not that he's too good for me, I just see us not fitting. I hate when he tells me he's out with friends. I spend most of my time on the internet or walking my dog alone. I don't have any real friends or any superficial ones for that matter. I'm bad at making them and end up driving everyone away. Right now I can't even remember why I loved him in the first place.When we are together I feel distant and cold unless we are physically intimate. But that can be explained with chemicals. Been in a state of self loathing and misery for the past months. I'm still at home while he is at college. And while I used to constantly message him and be very clingy. These days I've just been burning in depression alone, without thinking of him much.
How does he see your relationship? Aside from your insecurities, do you enjoy being in this relationship? Do you feel that he wants to be with you?
>It always ends in me apologizing and him saying "don't worry I love you".i feel like he just didnt get the message here, he needs to know your needs more clearly there
>>24092033I’ll be your friend if you want. I’m pretty positive, emotionally available, and understand boundaries.
>>24092078I used to love it. everyday was amazing. I had finally achieved my goal of getting him. He was mine. and even after the honeymoon phase, when things got hard i still loved him. but my mental health has never significantly improved and now im just feeling less and less in love. I am also experiencing asexual feelings.
>>24092092I tell him that, and he just.. doesn't get it. How could he? He isn't depressed. He has a perfect life. Girlfriend, good college, friends, laughter, and life. except for me i just hate that feeling hes simply benefitting off of my good attributes (my body) and always avoiding me when I say im miserable. sigh he not using me though. he truly loves me. I just think he thinks things are much better than i do.
>>24092033This image is so weird. Are you actually like that girl in picrel OP?
>>24092094I don't want online friends. It makes my autism worse.
>>24092221the red text is stuff i added about myself so yeah. been dealing with mental health and into political nonsense for years. do these things contribute to my antisocial personality? yeah.
>>24092226Okay. I’ll be here if you change your mind.
if your pic existed I'd hate women less
>>24092322we do exist just probably <1% of the population and most have undesirable appearances and horrible mental health so are pretty much repulsive
op here im trans btw
>>24092357It does not matter how beautiful a woman is only that she takes care of her body.
You need to be raped.
>>24092243You're mentally ill. Seek therapy
>>24092243You did that? That’s funny.
>>24092033Oh also we are mostly a bunch of lonely men with no context of your life or ability to realize if you or your partner are toxic (you could be crazy or you could be crazy because he is gaslighting you) so yeah it seems like definitely you need to think of who you want to be from your “art” at the least
>>24092033Oh yeah but also probably you probably just want someone to tell you who to be so here you go: develop skills to talk to all kinds of people without immediately judging them even if you are right 99% of the time, don’t feel obligated to talk to people, don’t not talk to people because you are scared of what they might think, your goal is to have a small group of people you value not make everyone like you all the time and you will see the people that don’t like you change their mind about you again and again (good and bad) but they don’t matter anyway. You are not as ugly or bad as you think you are not are you the most special person in the world but you could be to someone or even a handful of people as most people have like 4-5 good friends anyway. I’m in a transition period myself with no friends at the moment. There’s nothing wrong with any of your interests. But you shouldn’t stay in all the time or on the internet but take your time adapting and please report any updates. Just focus on today and do one good thing if you can. If you want that thing can even be make a list.
>>24092196>how does he feel about your relationship>proceed to say “I feel...I felt...I,I,I”Stupid self centered bitch. You treat him like some trophy object. Just break up so he can get on with his life and find someone capable of having a loving relationship
>>24092033Sounds like you are lonely. The best way to solve that problem, especially if you love him, is to have kids with him. If you don't see yourself having kids with him, then you should dump him and seek a man who's willing to have kids with you. Children are one of the most fulfilling and important tasks for any person. It's literally built into your biology. have you ever considered that?
>>24092033OP you just need to develop a life outside the relationship. Have nights out with some girls instead of spending time with him. I know you said you don't have friends, but complaining about not having friends isn't going to make friends.Just go make some goddamn friends. Volunteer. Play a sport. Join a club. Find people to drink with socially.
>>24092033>At the time we started dating, I was severely depressed>we are still dating, and I am severely depressed>autism adhd fjdj jfjsjgkd bla bla blaGo kill yourself you fucking roastie, I have been depressed for years and I have never never dated, never even had close contact with a girl, go fucking kill yourself
>>24094103Can you guys stop? Literally places you hang out would have women that would be open to meeting you if you guys didn’t act like this.
>>24094103 Jesus Christ. Okay hunny, wew hert yew
>>24092879OP here, this is very good advice. I realize it's important to "work on myself" first. I wonder though in the context of this question if you think that it's better to do this on my own. I feel as though while trying to sort out my feelings I'm just damaging and hurting my poor boyfriend.>>24092918I agree with you. I'm selfish and I hate myself. The worst, most insufferable combination. I think that I should let him get on with his life, which is what I was alluding at earlier (not fitting into his successful goals).>>24093892that is extremely true. Loneliness might be my most pressing concern. Depression is the worst when you also feel lonely. I've been trying to make friends for about 5 years now since losing mine. I'll be back at college soon and will hopefully make some.I'm undecided about children and still pretty young. >>24094052Agree completely. It's been hard. I've tried building up habits for example I cook for myself reguarly, walk my dog, and go to the gym. Nothing seems to fill the void of a good friend though. I mostlly talk to my family which is good.>>24094103I know that men have it much harder. It is laughable that despite my shortcomings I was still able to get a boyfriend simply because I have boobs.
>>24092215>He has a perfect life.No one has a perfect life, what you see is only a portion of his life, you could actually be seeing all the things that are good in his life, maybe on purpose on his part or by complete accident. If he avoids you when you're miserable, dump his ass, if he is rejecting a part of your life then he doesn't deserve you. The dude doesn't even walk with you while you're walking your dog, that's some lazyass bullshit right there. Sounds like you two have grown apart, and it's okay these things happen, it's part of life to change.
>>24092033If someone took that much effort into editing an already existing template why the fuck not make a new one?
>>24094721#1: do you feel like you are missing out on life when your boyfriend goes out or do you want him in with you. If you don’t want to be with him take your time. Most women I notice take about awhile to decide whether they want to break up with their boyfriend. And then they spend awhile preparing their lives for the transition before they break up eg. make new friends, prepare a place to life if necessary, prepare themselves emotionally, build up courage, and figure out exactly what they want to say. I will definitively tell you what to do with your life in a healthy way but honestly this one thing is not my call. Do you want to be with him or not? To clarify while you think about this - it is not necessary to break up with him to work on your every day life.
I was not abused or mistreated, but I had a bad childhood. A very large amount of responsibility was placed on me from an exceedingly young age. I always had the feeling like I was not getting to be a child. I'm going to graduate college soon and I've surprised people by how well-adjusted I am. I overcame my circumstances, did well in high school and sports, and am going to graduate in the top 10% of my class at college. To everyone I am a success and should be happy. But I am not fully happy. I do experience positive emotions, but there is a constant undercurrent of sadness and burden. I may be having success as an adult, but I want to have a childhood. I feel like I'm still expecting that one day, if I work hard enough and am successful enough, I will get my childhood back like some kind of reward. But that's not true. It feels like since birth I've just been working hard and working and working and working until I die. Success doesn't fulfill me.What should I do to ease the pain? I know I can never get to be a child now, but I have a feeling of doom and sadness thinking about my future, even though I know I should be happy.
Shit! I meant to post a personal thread and posted a response to this one instead. I am a moron. Sorry.
>>24095080Thanks. Sorry again. By the way sorry about your troubles OP. I've never had a relationship so can't give great advice but hoping the best. May it all end up well.
>>24094791I do but sometimes I question why.Why are relationships so hard???it feels like with every piece of advice, I have more doubts and more questions. That makes me want to never talk to anyone ever again and just live a solitary life. Sounds nice
>>24092033>popular guy dates girl with autism, ADHD and depressionNice dream you tranny faggot.
>>24092226>your original image really hit home to meI also am female, autistic, and basically 90% of what you listed. I am trying to make an effort to make more female friends so if you would like to be friends I would be down for that
>>24095048the fuck? you really are me >>24095274
>>24095284Yeah sorry I didn't mean to post that as a response I meant to make a completely unrelated seperate post. Forgot to click off the post. Total dumbassery. Sorry
>>24092033Pic related is almost me. I think I should kill myself
>>24095465Nice blog post
I just want an autistic cutie with intense passion for her interest's :(
Yeah this relationship is probably doomed.On the bright side I think it shouldn't be too hard for OP to get it right. >>24095194think about it more like>popular guy dates submissive, loyal girl who clearly (>>24094721) blames herself for everything and doesn't put any pressure on him whatsoeverhe's probably looking around at the women he spends time with and thinking "thank God I've got OP and don't have to deal with any of this".