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/adv/ - Advice

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My temper is very bad. I think it's because my self-esteem is crappy and was bullied growing up without no teacher or parents helping me.

So now that I have became older and have less fucks to give about I almost don't have any objections to taking matters into my own hands, except when I am against someone like Mike Tyson or a 6 feet tall dude I'll just avoid escalating the situation for my own benefit and well-being.

I am easily enranged by remarks or disses especially lately. I only snapped once at one asshole who hit my car and was at fault but kept talking shit. I punched him so bad, and we were taken to the police station.

If not for him being at fault and calling the police officer a faggot, I would've probably been jailed. The police fortunately understood that he pushes people to their limits, and they the insurance took care of the situation.

Ever since, I have bit the bullet and stayed silent no matter how rude or crappy the other person is, because I vowed to not enter a police station again, but the mental anguish and boiling remains.

Without medication, how to calm down and become "stoic"?
Meditation helps. But is not going to be the perfect solution for your problem, nor easy or fast to achieve.

How do I start meditating?
Netflix has a great short series about it. Starts from scratch into more complex stuff but still at intro level. The easiest way is mindfulness (the main technique in the series), basically teaching yourself to be in the moment and not dragged away by bad or intrusive thoughts. At the end is like treating your attention centre on the brain like any other muscle, by performing "reps" you "teach" it a particular behaviour.

Non memeing, it actually works (fucking thousand clinical studies out there say so), but like bulking is not something to achieve from one day to another.
solid advice
Expose yourself to things that trigger you and repeat the process to calm down or dissolve the anger
That’s meditation
>I'll just avoid escalating the situation for my own benefit and well-being

Clearly already have some level of self awareness, stop making excuses and acting like you don't know how to do it.

Lying is like smoking - when you stop yourself you notice how much everyone else stinks.

>How do I start meditating?

4 seconds in a circle. Breath in 4 seconds - reflect on the morning of your life, growth, expansion. Hold breath 4 seconds - reflect on the highest point of your life, fulfillment, touching the most people. Breath out 4 seconds - reflect on the decline of your life, what stays with you. Hold with no breath 4 seconds - reflect on the evening and end of your life, acceptance, what you leave.

You have all the potential to become a great person kin. Honour your days
Start not giving a shit
It’s not worth it anyway
My brother is sometimes a bitter dick like that and gets off on dumb shit
Do do I
If I have a bad day I just take a walk ,music maybe weed . And staying away from people for some time . Better then the alternative I’d say
Just work on yourself . Dunno I’m kinda angry all the time but well fuck it
One thing that helped me was seeing someone be completely manipulated by words. As in, they were completely compelled to make radical, risky changes to their life and endanger their future happiness, because of the events relayed by the person. But there were no events or facts. It was fiction and lies. They emotionally, mentally, and physically responded to sounds made by a mouth and nothing more.
Mouth sounds alone are not worth responding to.

When someone is shit-talking, they are an idiot making mouth sounds at you. That is the situation. Respond to the situation and not how you feel about the situation.
If a dog barks at you, or a monkey at the zoo screeches at you, do you get angry and want to punch them? Random shit-talking is no different then spewing gibberish. They are saying "I am taking my emotional state out on you." That's what it translates as.
For example.

You are a gutless faggot.
You are a shaven turnip.
Neither of those sentences matter or mean anything. My opinion on your follicle status as a turnip is no mor valid than your gutless faggotry. They are equal. So is all random shit-talk.
Shit-talk at work or within ongoing relationships needs to be addressed before it affects others, but is also meaningless.

That said, it's easier said than done to respond to the fact that an idiot is saying nonsense rather than the nonsense he's saying. That's probably where the meditation might help.

Always remember the words of Marty McFly: "He's an asshole! I don't care what he thinks! I don't care what anybody else thinks either!"
good advice
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>I only snapped once at one asshole who hit my car and was at fault but kept talking shit. I punched him so bad
Lmao based OP
Guided meditation helps a ton! This one's my favourite https://youtu.be/oXkW4WOiNBw
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Here you go anon
impossible to not have emotions unless u are AI or an alien...... but probably havelasting health effects from being placed in situations that cause or trigger certain responses.

u shud learn how to defend yourself through martial arts classes. i too have had prostitutes trying to extort or steal from me even going as far as trying to force me to sign documentation to further running their scams!
understand that those people are looking for you to react, they want those words to affect you. imagine talking shit to someone stoically staring back through your soul, and eventually turning and walking away like you never existed. it would be like landing a punch that suddenly lost all momentum on impact, dissatisfying on many levels. you win that metaphorical fight every time if you don't react.

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