cant even support myself.

now i dont have 1/10th to donate.
or whatever it s dumb

and our nation is
god above all.
who else worthwhile blaming than god itself???

>>23645050
I just don't know what to do, man. We've been in and out of contact for so long that we hardly even know one another at this point. I hate having to second guess all my interactions with them, you know. I can't even trust myself to treat them like a normal human being. It makes me feel terrible in a lot of ways, things are just complicated. We're both married, so you could probably see how trying to talk about things like this feels like throwing a monkey wrench into a jet engine. It's disrespectful to not only my spouse but their spouse, and that's not even to mention them. Like how heartbreaking is that you would invest so much time into some idiot, and they're incapable of getting over something so stupid. I'm just so ashamed of everything. I don't want to dredge up dumb bullshit, and it feels like just disappearing for good would be easiest for everyone. They've been so good to me and I just feel like I'm fucking everything up no matter what I do.

>>23645130
You can talk to your wife about how you feel, you can tell her you want to reach out and apologize because it's weighing on you, she should understand that.

If she's married, she may have moved on and won't even want an apology from you. If you would still like to give one, feeling that it is the right thing to do, it would be noble to reach out and do the right thing even though you might get a door slammed in your face so to speak.

what else? :0 i'm ready

>>23645105
Stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility for your problems. No one is coming to save you

>>23645181
hah it doesnt work clearly. if me taking responsibility had worked out that well, we wont be having this conversation haahaha
just like this moment where you waste my time by acting so high and mighty, clearly reaching out nets me 0 profit
aka my responsibility.

your sardonic response is so fuckin hollow and conpletely worthless.
hahaha

>>23645240
>hahaha
Ok I didn’t mean to waste my breath on you, enjoy being a victim for the rest of your life

>>23645099
Had 2 managers, one was a nice girl but only really got manager because her boyfriend was the district manager, the other was a guy who was a hard worker, but was bipolar so working with him was stressful. She had quit because she became fed up, and he became our manager for about a month, but i got covid and was out of commission for a while, and the day I got back (which was just yesterday), she was there. She told me that apparently he walked off on the job while they were still very busy, and she got offered the job again, while he got demoted and moved to another shop. I know it’s not right or fair really, but I’m very glad she’s back and he’s gone

>>23645181
of course no one is coming to save.

when has that ever happened?

your response is the proof of it.
if you are supposed to be some sort of divine intervention, good job you just wasted my time and providing me with no experience or genius so i dont have to do the most retarded shit i could

I fucked up real bad bros

>>23645244
see? a smartass retard until the end

if i could get a penny for any of your wiseass advice followed by your self interested commentary based on your own outlook of life but not others, i d be reach by now already.

of course i ll have to enjoy being a victim
theres no other career im good at and you ve contributed that as usual. you must feel so useful now since you got nothing better to say ever and no one gave a shit to you too.

>>23645252
I’m not God, I can’t provide you “divine intervention” self reflection is only the start of your journey. Stop thinking every person you meet is a “waste of time” as you say. Your perception of other people is what’s holding you back; stop comparing yourself to others and be yourself.

>>23645259
>Smartass
>Retard
See I’m a professional retard and you’re over here throwing around big words and judgmental analysis like you’re some kind of psycho therapist

>>23645261
oh well ofc ye r all not waste of time...until proven otherwise.
look kid, nice try sounding big and heavy, but you should get a clue about how this all r not helping me at all but mostly a show of how "good" and "brainy" you are than actually putting some in me.

>>23645267
well you like big smart brains to handle you it seems. why get pissed off by your own words

>>23645261
>comparison
sorry im already past that now im locked out in a small box unable to live without comparing to the world outside.

I fucked up fairly bad but not that bad. I think? What a fuck up...

I need to really pull through

I think I got quite fortunate here though I’m sure it will be accounted for in the future. It was an accident. It doesn’t matter if it was. I should be grateful it hasn’t come crashing down on me desu

Looking through old conversations and seeing how normal my interactions were until I was involved with someone who completely shattered my self esteem, and still blames me for it. After removing myself from someone who damaged me too, at that. He is still one of the most vile human beings I've ever met. No one believes it either. He creeped through my journals, my devices, my everything, and still does thinking I don't know. When I defended myself against his false accusations, he accused me of gaslighting and continues to spread it to all of my friends.
I've never really opened up about it, except a tiny bit to two people, because it affected me so horribly. I used to be full of life and now I'm scared to go outside or talk to anyone. Why doesn't he stop? Why doesn't he leave me alone? Why why why why? He ruins all of my friendships. Why, after years? I don't understand. The dude made me start flinching. He screamed at me nearly every day. And I still have to deal with it, after ~3 years?!
And he turns around to say I'm the gaslighter? Why and how? Because of the one time I told him the scenario he described wasn't something I did? He accused me of anything he could as much as he could. He screamed at me nearly every night for hours because I didn't feel like having sex with him, accusing me of "not loving him" or "thinking he's xyz bad thing" or saying I purposefully did something to hurt him. He would berate me for hanging out with friends. He would accuse me of lying about arbitrary things. Yet I'm the abuser? I suffer from forming new attachments, and it's my fault? The dude did the pettiest shit out of being insecure. Yeah, I tried my best to not let it affect me, but that doesn't mean I'm the problem? I apologized to him as much as I could. And what I get is "shut the fuck up" when *I'm* crying/sad/upset. The dude pretended to be my friend, and then guilt-tripped me into dating. He tried to force me to block people, people I was closest to.

Me and my gf just broke up. Really depressed just wanna kill my self but not gonna for my mom. Just lost my dad 2 months ago. Every says she is a bitch for doing this and how it happened. I just need to move on but can't

When he got me alone at his parents, he yelled at me to block my closest friend (and roommate). When I said no, he demanded it, over and over until I cried. He was angry, and so he left me there and I was alone.
This is the person you choose to believe? The guy who, after he got me to move in with him, regularly threatened to put me out on the streets?
The is the guy you believe?
Fuck you guys. Fuck you, seriously.
One time, I was home alone, and a tall muscular guy was peaking through the windows of the apartment, and pounding on the door. I was terrified, so I texted him if someone was supposed to show up. He tried to blame me, and say it was because I didn't pay rent (which I did?? and I've never been late). For real? I was terrified about this guy possibly breaking in and hurting me.
You guys really believe someone who wants to say I'm an ""emotional masochist""? What the fuck?

blblablabalbal

will i even learn anything by writinf it all out 500 times?

seems like i ll just learn that i am more dumb than how i perceive meself all the time in the end

nothing new

yeah i really need thw supernatural help

but nothing comes cheap

pfft
as usual.
its a god

u dont get to decide price

>>23645403
Where were you during the call of dandelions? Dammit anon.

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I have never been this sad and this angry for this long. I've been seething for an entire year. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it.

I was literally terrified of anytime I had to interact with him. I was scared of him coming home and being in the car with him. I can't believe I fell for it too. His sob story about his ex girlfriend and him continuously breaking up and getting back together. I should've realized it was him when he tried to do that with me. What the fuck.
I'm just so mad right now, since I've been trying to let go of ~trauma~, and still, to this day, it's my fault. After everything he did, he gets the emotional support. I get smoke and mirrors from the people around me, or I at least feel like it.
Life is so shitty. People are so shitty, and I'm completely 100% over making any new friendships or attachments. Fuck you guys. Seriously. Literally fuck off forever.

>>23645444
Eventually everyone gonna stop caring and just not wear masks. It’s not gonna be forever

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>>23645099
I was expecting you to be around my age because they're low maintenance but holy crap you're old.
I must be high-spec for being able to handle adults!

Im turning 21 in a few months but im still 19 within my very soul, growing up sucks now.

>>23645454
I don't know about that. Under that Twitter posts there's tons of people saying that they plan to wear masks when they're in public for the rest of their lives. There's some people who haven't left their fucking apartments all year. I truly think some people honestly never want to go back to normal.

I don't blame anyone for being his friend, but have some accountability. Why would you blindly antagonize me without knowing the full story? Why, because I kept quiet? Because I cared about him still having friendships and support? Fuck off, go be friends with him then and leave me alone.

>>23645373
That guy sounds like the biggest fucking loser I’ve ever heard about.
> He screamed at me nearly every night for hours because I didn't feel like having sex with him
I’m glad you didn’t, dude needs a cock cage

Told myself I wouldn't let sex make me some type of way. We are just friends. I agreed to that. Did I low key lie about that and do it anyways just because I wanted sex? My emotions are on a let down now since I thought maybe we would be something. Guess not but I should have known that. I need to let these emotions go and just be happy that at least I had sex.

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I found a 1 minute clip in moonspeak of two girls from Princess Connect breastfeeding a guy whilst giving him a paizuri last night. I can't get the lovely way those chests were animated out of my head. Even with post nut clarity I keep wanting to try the game they're from even though its AFK grindfest drivel. Better than the life drain femdom succubus stuff I usually view where they tell you how worthless you are as they kill you I suppose, it's an improvement.

>>23645444
The new normal will not be the way they want it to. Instead it will be so much more beautiful than you imagined your digits are PROOF.

>>23645477
What did he do?

>>23645620
>>23645373
>>23645392
>>23645445
You don't have to read the blogpost but it's here

>aww he'll fight for you <3
This isn't a battle royale!

>Oh hi anon its us and the break up was painful :'(
>I got 'chu senpai. Whaddya need?
>Suddenly do a face reveal
You guys are not my classmates! What the hell is going onnnnnnnnnnn

My memories came back now. Turns out you didn't fuck buddy 'ol pal and the entire fiasco was a truman show!

Anyways, how was the convo? :3

In the four years we've been dating, my bf has never once made me cum. I'm too scared to tell him because it would just destroy his pride, but it's also really wearing on me too.

>>23645728
Holy shit. I've been in a relationship like that. Stay strong, anon.

>>23645737
>My memories came back now
Based!

I know everyone tried to warn me but goddamn having a girlfriend is exhausting. Just having to commit that much time to someone, like she's amazing but fuck.

>>23645826
does she ask for more time than you wish, or do you feel the need to give her more time than you wish on your own?

I want a needy 4/10 femanon gf to take care of

So we finally took that step. We decided to take a break from us.

It's been a hell these past months (almost a year?) since quarantine started. His anger issues became way worse after 8 years of relationship and I couldnt take it anymore.
I suggested the break last year when this shit started but he freaked and said that If we did that, it would be over forever. So I took it back and stayed with him.

He did worked on channeling his anger in a little less explosive way. But I had to put a little emotional distance for my own sake, so I started to not feel the same about him.

I told him to give me time to get used to it and get my romance back for him. He couldnt wait, he started to demand me to be more expressive of my love, even if we were not like that before this whole thing went down.

He used to make me aside whenever I wanted to hug him, snuggle or be more affective. So I worked on it and well, stop doing it. And now he demands it.

I mentioned the break again and he took it better this time, as we couldnt find a solution to our problem (and he refused to go to therapy). He was somehow happy at the beginning, excited because it was something new. But half an hour later he was so depressive... gosh I dont know what to do anymore.

I just hope we do get better with this break, even if we dont come back.... I wish he was fine in his mind, I wish he could be happy without me, so we can be happy together someday.. (or not, but as long as he is happy..)

>>23645865
Sounds like a very difficult situation. I hope you get through all of this okay.

I NEED A NEEDY 4/10 GIRLFREN
I WANT YOUR SWEATY NEET FLUIDS DRIPPING DOWN MY BODY

>>23645849
>>23645902
why just 4/10, anon?

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>>23645779
<3

>>23645099
Im the caretaker and you're the boss.
The boss who doesn't give a raise nor salary.
8/10

I want my ice cream and pizza.
Plus, I only accept a 16gb laptop as a tip. No cash needed, thats how nice I am in general.
Im such a good person holy-

>>23645911
I don’t care that much about looks and want her to be blown away at how attractive I am, so that we can be together forever

I can't keep my emotions on a rollercoaster based on how much attention I'm getting. I alternate between having literally zero self worth and having some, but not a lot. It's fuckin with me man. I don't think this shit is right

>>23645932
Well, I mean... What girl would want to date someone who views her as sub-par, looks-wise? Why would you want to make someone feel that way?

I'm such a retard, every time I think there's a limit for how much I hate myself I end up finding a new way to break it. Fucking hell. I'm a supposed adult yet still rely on others to get even the most menial of things done, I might as well be a genuine actual retard at this point. People probably think I actually am one. I was going to change it, I was going to make things right and then I waited too long again, and now it's all fucked up. Again. Now life happened, things went wrong, and things have to be on the backburner. Again. The only people who can do anything for me have more things to worry about and I am fucked. And it's my fault. I'm so fucking stupid. God fucking damn. Really considering just punching my ticket if I can't figure this out soon, I think it'd be to everyone's benefit.

>>23645954
Maybe she’s a 10 to me, definitely would make her feel like it
Having her feel appreciated is a big deal for me

I just came back after a 3 day ban for someone else's post?? what the fuck. On top of that, ironically enough, the post was written by someone who's country I live in that was shitting on MY nationality and I got the ban for it. Fuck you to whoever posted that shit and hope your retarded ass gets banned now

>>23646037
But your words kind of betray this, no?
Why not just look for a girlfriend, not a "4/10" girlfriend?
>>23646051
This has happened to me in the past, too. I don't know what the deal is.

>>23646061
>Why not just look for a girlfriend, not a "big tiddy goth" girlfriend?
This place escapes you, it seems.

I want to be your bestie.
The impregnation fetish you have towards me is just the proof of our friendship.

Yes I want a frumpy homely girlfren to be mine forever and ever and no you can’t shame me for it

I do not recommend the big toddy goth. You’re better off with a plain Jane normie who can be aesthetically molded.

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My GF of 10 months cheated on me one month in and lied to me about it when i became suspicious. I have forgiven her, but she continued to do it and lie for a short time. She admitted everything when I cornered her into it and says she has not been seeing the guy for 8 months but I have never got over it and have severe trust issues. I love her, and she says she loves me more then anything, we have sex often, and everything seems to be great, but I do not think I can fully trust her ever again. What do?

>>23646088
I mean, there's nothing wrong with positive criterion when seeking a partner, and big tiddy goth is nothing if not very positive. It's when people start talking about wanting subpar or ugly gfs that it swiftly crosses the line from an honest preference to potentially harmful desperation.

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>>23645099
I had a psychotic episode and sent an embarrassing text to my crush where I apologized for meaningless actions. I worry that I ruined any chance of finally connecting with somebody.

hey random thread guy, if you are still out there...i haven't forgot about you...

>>23646104
It’s not harmful!!!
>the aesthetics memers gang are nothing if not very positive
She could be goth for all I care! She just has to be a femanon

I used to be a daily weed smoker for years, then I quit and been sober for about 11 months now, but I don't feel normal, barely functioning to be honest and my body took a hit as well.

I don't know what to attribute it to, but after quitting I felt normal for a bit, then got severely depressed and around the time I was overwhelmed by college and nearly didn't pass onto my final year. Then I gained a lot of weight, I drank a lot at the time as well I noticed. I did manage to lose the weight but even if at the same body weight as I was before, I look fat anyway, I don't get it. My posture also got very bad somehow, its like I developed a curved back over a course of 2 months or less. Feels like my shoulders/back area is pushed back and my neck is pushed forward. Its fucked up and idk what caused it.

Depression passed few months later, but I was still very stressed on a daily basis and it severely triggered my OCD. Now its been about 11 months and in the past few weeks ocd became manageable, but my body weight, posture are still fucked, I also got severe eczema on my hands and my sleeping habits are still fucked too. I can't get any rest unless I'm in bed for 10 hours, even an hour less than that and I feel extremely tired and can't function in the mornings.

What do I do about this? doctors are clueless and there is nothing online. Surely I'm not a unique case, there has to be some explanation, some treatment, something... I don't want to be this way forever, and I don't want to relapse. I've been through to much for that to happen.

I might tell my parents that I've been thinking about death all the time.

Desperation is a turn off

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Well... here's the story.

I should have gone off to war in 2009 and fought for my country, but instead I went to a Liberal College.

If I went to war and came back home I would have been at the same school age as her and I would have met her and lived in my Home area. She would have had VA benefits and I would have been a happily married man with a lovely wife.

Instead of a 100$ Bill

I got 10 9.95's

All hell and shit that happened from this fucking could have been prevented and I know that world is completely different.

Here's a song where I sell my soul for doing so as it is played.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoswyJLilgo

At least we can talk now, but seeing the reality of what was better is a picture I get to see only from standing on a pile of skeletons.

I miss my life there and my cousin
Oh well
Perhaps in a other life I am there living a mundane yet nice boring life
RIP los angeles

I only have to not let anyone know how desperate I am. It’s all so simple.

Once she finds out how boring and pathetic I am, it's over. FUCK

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>>23645099
I got a reduction in my medication. Well that's a start.

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I wish I didn’t have cock and balls bros...

>>23645746
Guide him

>>23645099
>"I still don't understand why you're so pissed, dude."
Because you've treated my sobriety like a joke since the beginning and last night tried to offer me beer as 'an experiment or test' (how you put it exactly) and were surprised that I didn't give in. I know you drink quite a bit so I don't know if you're just wanting to drag me back down or see if sobriety in an extreme case like mine is truly possible. Well, it is, but it's a struggle. Regardless I'm not going to hang out with you much anymore.

>>23646061
Maybe anon is a 4/10 too
>>23646338
Guide him straight into the trash

You can do whatever the fuck you want and really just have fun but you GOTTA play with the clit bros

>>23646238
The simps don't know what they can't see

>it’s not just that anon it’s psychological
Yeah because he’s known to be “that guy who never hits the clit”. It’s OVER bros you had one job, it’s so easy...

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>>23646375
>when it begets itself

>>23645099
There is no hope there is no one coming to save me there is no way out I am stuck there is physically nothing I can do no matter how hard I work or try to fix my problems I am done things will only get worse I just want to die and the only thing stopping me from killing myself is that I'm too much of a bitch to do it.

>>23646364
This isn’t even a mogging since i’m pathetic, it’s just science

>>23646274
Why are you boring and pathetic?

I have so much to do and I want to die aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>23646102

off yourself, cuck

>>23646413
Few hobbies, have never truly lived or done anything outside of my home, NEET, can't do simple tasks like drive. These are not unfixable things but it's also things I can't just fix all at once in a week. I am trying but people want results, and I do not have results.

Why can't you just be good people?

What's the problem? :(

Is there a cure? Should I coom? No? On my bed panting.

>>23646444
baby steps anon... make sure you take at least one step a day though. That isn't much. Increase gradually. Today you go and shop, tomorrow you go for a walk around the block, etc.

>>23646338
What do you mean?

I just want you guys to be good people. That's it. Do the right thing. :(

Why is that so hard to do?

>>23646461
>???

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>>23646463

>>23646458
I am taking baby steps, it just gets frustrating sometimes.

>>23646463
when the people surrounding me aren't doing the right thing it makes it harder to fight the temptation

>>23646136
I am still here. I haven’t forgot about you either.

Is it desperate if I said I’d run away with her if she would have me or is it free spirited? Maybe a bit of both. I am desperate, desperate for feeling.

ariell gave me a mask a couple of weeks ago

i dont really wear masks but i had to go to the doctor and they won't let you in without one

smelled like her, wow all i could think about was making out with her

i am so obsessed rn should have just kept it as a nice memento in the drawer

whos ready for me to misunderstand a situation, get emotionally involved and recieve absolutely nothing in return, except confusion and hurt feelings! i sure as fuck am

>>23646496
>smelled like her, wow
Based

How does one become immune from the question
>what DO you know?
Seriously, I either get scared or furious whenever I'm asked this.

i long for connection, and comfort, currently i only have physiological comfort, in the sense that my base needs are met. on the maslow pyramid, i am lacking the love/belonging need.

>>23645445
That's what you get for being friends with normies, no critical thinking and spineless fags
I can be your buddy anon

Why do you make things more difficult than they need to be? It pisses me off and stresses me out. That's my mood ruined for the night. Once again I don't know why I bothered waiting around all day.

You've never truly felt happiness before in your life.

I went over to a friend to make dinner and talk and when I came home to my gf I got a feeling of depression and emptyness. I think I'm not good here

What they don't tell you is that sometimes people deserve the bullying they receive.

That's what being good does, it allows you happiness. Why not give yourself a chance? It's better than all the money and power in the world.

No one deserves to be bullied you nigger

All I wanted was to live well ($50k+ a year), have a big breasted wife (H+) who isn't a slut and can cook, a good education (masters+) and a decent car and home.

Now I'm sure I'll die alone, be under 35k forever, no education because of this covid shit, and who knows what else. I hate my life.

Our culture really sucks. Suburbs are boring as fuck, full of people isolating away in their shitty mcmansions staring at the TV or their phones all day. Urban cities are way too expensive to live in, and full of people who are too concerned with keeping the bills paid to give a single solitary fuck about one another. Rural towns are full of slackjawed fucking yokels with more chromosomes than brain cells, and a bone to pick with anyone who isn't exactly like them.
Car ownership is basically required if you want to get anywhere at all because our public infrastructure sucks so fucking much, so have fun with all of the bureaucracy and bills that a car comes with. Not to mention all the other shitty drivers, and the traffic. Oh god, the traffic. Thinking back on how much of my life I have wasted waiting in line to go to work and to go home makes me want to shoot myself.

>>23646487

i wish that were true...but thanks for the response, what have you been up to?

If law of attraction is a thing, and our actions do put things into motion, then I fear that despite turning my life around and trying to actually be a good person, my past life and the shitty things I did when I was younger will just destroy my future regardless of me being a better person now. I might attract the occasional good thing but theres so much bad stuff that will come my way that I don't know if being good and making life harder and less convenient is worth it at this point. Looks like I'm only making myself play this game on hard mode while also having to go through additional obstacles/challenges I left for myself in my past life. I hope this is worth it and the change and sacrifices won't go to waste

>>23646578
Yes, sometimes they do.
If you're an entitled douchebag and you act as if the world was meant to fall in your lap, and then you have an identity crisis everytime someone else gets in your way by virtue of simply being better...
...Yeah I'm going to bully you, mercilessly for acting like such a faggot...

I wish there was a way to deal with emotional abusers except violence, but until emotional abuse becomes re-accepted as a thing they will get away with their bullshit every time.

>>23646625
No they don't, you're justifying being a pretenious asshole
No one is better than anyone
You're a nigger

What's up with you online guys? When a girl says don't fall in love, we are never going to meet up, she means it. Sometimes it's just easier being thought of as a guy.

Yeah I think it's funny when Biden voters suffer.
What of it?

>>23645896
Thank you, anon. I wish for that too.

>>23646641
How else do you deal with malignant narcissists?
Being nice, having patience with abusers doesn't seem to work, they just figure out how to take advantage.
I have to be a dick because it's the only thing that's working anon.

>>23646625
>everytime someone else gets in your way by virtue of simply being better
hmmmmmm

>>23646665
I shouldn't say "being better", but, "having been bested"

>>23646494
maybe both but it’s still sweet, depending on your history.

I'll amend my prior claim

Bullies deserve to be bullied

>>23646660
By being genuine, simpleton and blissfully ignorant
It's worked for me or it did
You nigger

>>23646717
Ah yes, make yourself a target of the narcissist who believes that everyone owes her attention.

>>23646717
I am all of those things
But without a little aggression those things are kind of useless when your opponent is somewhat intelligent and/or cunning. Don't get me wrong the kid sucks be he's somewhat capable.

>>23646722
I'm not narcissistic
And those who call others are the true narcissists and again and again they deny it
Have a good day niggeroid

>>23646660
>narcissists
>plural
>>23646678
Seems like you're just a dick and justify it by the fact that shit comes back around.

I can’t wait until the day we’re able to fix what we had. I’m not sure how or when we’ll get there but I’ll give it my all when it happens, promise. Not a day goes by without me thinking of you and it’s been many, many days. I miss you and I hope you’re well. Hope to see you soon.

>>23646745
>plural
You're reading too deep, I'm only talking about one person.
>sounds like you're just a dick and justify it
Blahblah. Yeah I'm kind of a dick. But youhave to be sometimes. I'm generally known as being extremely nice and patient. but my patience has come to and end withsomebody who is particularly horrible.

I'm sorry if my words offend you but don't pretend to know my life you fucking pussy.

>>23645099
Im young, got great prospects ahead of me and one beatiful loving gf.
Underneath im neurotic sad sack of shit that yearns to reset his life, but without all the mental illnesses

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>>23646764
Yes yes, your actions are always justified. Good luck, anon.

>>23646778
Meditation might help
Everyone is a bit neurotic now a days
You're not alone

>>23646796
>Yes yes, your actions are always justified. Good luck, anon.
Where did I even begin to say that
Reaching faggot lmao

>>23646135
Are you on the meds now?

I fell in love with a girl after knowing her for a while. We eventually fuck, but it’s the second time I have sex and I completely embarrass myself (she’s more experienced). We laugh it off but I can tell her attraction to me has faded. We are still friendly.

>Here’s where it gets weird

She starts an onlyfans. I tell her I don’t recommend it but I’m not her bf so can’t really stop her. Eventually I give in, thinking about what type of stuff she posts

>Spend $100 on her in a matter of days
>Nudes, sexting, everything I would have wanted from her if she was my gf
>Sends me nudes regularly for free because I’ve tipped so much
>Till speak to her regularly as a friend
>Feel immense guilt for hypocrisy/keeping it from her

Do I tell her? Keep it to myself? Feel really guilty, but she’s so damn sexual that I can’t resist her bros.

I am a sound, I can be heavy, I can be light, I change every time, I am descriptive, I describe what I am by the sound that I make, I play on your emotion, I borrow from it. What am I?

>>23646901
Bawww

>>23646901
onomatopoeia

Also I spelled that without spell check

>>23645865
I feel you. Me and my girl broke up well said he was a break. But the next day after we separated she was already seeing other guys and staying up till 3 am.
Honestly its best to move on. I need to learn it. I hope u can to. There are plenty of people out there and I know there is some one who will treat u probably.

I learned that. One of my good friends took care of me. She made me food and just talked about life and made me realize what I deserve and want

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>>23646245
Addendum:

And now I get my good boy points up with celibacy and serviceman ranks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S2XF04xvxM

>>23646866
Oh god, drop this shit like a rock, anon. It's platinum creepy, and can only lead to pain

I am so fucking lonely it hurts to see others happy in a relationship. I understand this isn't a healthy viewpoint to have, but dammit I can't help but feel envious of people that are happy and connected with others. It's like I'm lacking a certain quality that other people have or some shit

>>23646756
How about coffee tomorrow? I'll pick you up opposite the school at 2.15.

Most people interact normally. I validate you, you validate me back. For example I greet you, you greet me back. I hug you, you hug me back. I open up to you, you open up to me. But some people have learned from a young age that they're not worthy of validation. Others learned through a traumatic event that getting seriously hurt stings really really bad and even if you get validated 99 times that 1 serious hurt cuts deeper. So they use other comunication techniques. They might create a fake them, a substitute and hide behind it. The might lie and decieve. They might manipulate you so they feel like they are in control of the situation. They might hurt you before you hurt them. They might place themselves above you and become narcisists. Or just push you away entirely. If you understand their situation it is kind of sad and you might sympathise and want to help them. And you should give them a chance, perhaps even a second chance. But if you show them your weakness they will notice it and they will pounce. Be wary, be very wary. Always choose yourself first. You have your own life, you have your own issues. Do not let others abuse your kindness. It's ok to give up. Some people are beyond salvation. Life is fleeting. Live your life, enjoy it even if possible. And let them take care of themselves.

>>23646979
Thank you.. It's hard to let go of someone after 8 years, but I think at some point he got too dependant on me for his own happiness... I hope we find it eventually.

You’ve lost control, and you’re desperate. I win.

>>23645746
Bring a toy in. Fake the first one and get him off then have him give you 1 or 2 with a vibrator while he goes thru refractory. Then go another round if you guys still have some fight left.
Thats what we do except reverse. Gf cums too fast but i need a couple rounds with a break in the middle to finish. I use a toy on her to keep her revved up while I'm resetting.

>>23647227
>I win
The only way to win is by not playing games, you lose

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>>23646999
"If you are brave enough to say goodbye. Life will reward you with a new hello."

>>23645374
It’s tough man. I’ve been there.
In time the pain will ease and if she truly has done wrong/was toxic, in time you will also realize this.
Good luck Anon.

>>23647157
Thank you
I'm not them but thank you

>>23647162
We were together 5 years i saved her. She was doing drugs getting raped by strangers off the internet. I thought she was the one for me. But like u she was very dependent on me. I did everything for her and she didn't do the same. I should have seen the signs but love blinds the issues. It helps to talk about it I am getting over it more and more. I wanna message her but I am not going to

>>23647252
You really should stop talking about stuff you know absolutely nothing about, loser.

>>23647313
You're welcome, noticed the thread had some posts discussing narcists and what not in it so I decided to post. It's something I wrote for myself a couple of days ago after I went swimming to clear my mind. Still had it saved on my phone.

I wore a sweatshirt from an anime an my coworker said she loved it. we ended up watching some of the show together. i haven't worn it to work since. sometimes i think about wearing it but am worried she will comment on it again, and the fact that i imagine potential conversations makes me feel like wearing it would be manipulative. if she sees it and says "do you want to watch more of that show tonight?" i already had that conversation in my head, and if i said "i thought you might say that" or something along those lines i would look insane. am i making sense or completely overthinking? whats up with my silly brain

>>23645865
im in the same situation as your man. tell me whatever you wish you could tell him. it could help us both. i just need to work on my issues.

>>23647349
I will save your post for myself
Again thank you

jesus am i about to make 2 best friends fight over me? i don't even know what the fuck is going on anymore im just tryna make some tunes man

Oh god oh god I may be under review. Better not blow it

>>23647433
Sometimes blowing it can help, Anon. Who doesn't like being blown?

i know i've been toxic and selfish and i treated you badly. you gave me everything. now that i see what ive done wrong im intent on doing better. i would do anything for you. i hope you can forgive me.

>dont' want kids
>have overwhelming urge to be impregnated that is only getting worse with time
>every time i talk with someone who has kids they only have negative horror stories

I used to be the kind of person to take every little thing seriously and put effort into things.

Recently I noticed that this has changed in me. I don't understand why it changed tho. I had an interview and I woke up literally 20 minutes before it. Normally I'd realize how serious the situation is and I would force myself to get up at least an hour or two earlier so I'm 100% ready. But now its like I don't care about things even though I want to. It worries me because I feel like i'm losing control over myself, and like something is holding me back from taking things seriously. I feel that if I was to get a job now and overslept, I would just continue doing it until I'm fired, but I don't want that. I'm starting to panic here because I feel like I'm losing control over myself. What the fuck is happening?

>>23647484
dont give in to your instinct. dont do it!!!!!!!

>>23646135
Been there done that and then some.
You'll learn to move past your mistakes and cherish the moment when you finally feel it again

>>23647501
i know i shouldn't but just thinking about being impregnated makes me horny. during sex if i think about him cumming inside me i'll cum instantly. not even larping. recently been having thoughts like "having a son would be cute". but then reality is like, poop, vomit, piss, screaming, toys everywhere, annoying, pain in the ass, poor, saggy tits, etc. and it ruins it.

>>23647478
yeah yeah yeah all i hear is white noise

I wish there was some kind of therapist patients dating thing, like "hey I talked to someone who's just as mentally fucked as you are and you have some interests in common, you may like each other".
Jk I don't really wish for it but it's an interesting thought I had lol

>>23647598
That's so stupid on so many levels

>>23647598
hah that'd be pretty cool. but i dont think pairing up mentally ill people is a recipe for success

>>23647598
Straight past the tinder and straight to the cinders, eh? I like that.

I'll run it by some friends, and we'll see if we can get this off the ground.

Another birthday where nobody cares or recognizes me.
I guess I shouldn’t be this upset about it. Today is my 23rd birthday. No card or anything from my boyfriend. No cake from anyone, no texts or calls. Nobody thought to do anything for my birthday. I guess it hurts because for my boyfriend’s last birthday I baked him a cake and got him a bunch of presents.. I even handmade a card for him.

Nobody did anything. Everybody just forgets about me. I hate myself so much.

>>23647227
kek

I’m getting inspected this is an inspection she is trying to finesse me

>>23647598
You can find mentally ill people on tinder easily. Everyone I meet on tinder either has metal health issues or is bald or short. Some even put it in their bio 'swipe left if you can't deal with BPD'. Ok, will do.

>>23647665
I know it isn't much, but happy Bday anon. I hope you have a better birthday next year.

>>23647665
Happy birthday female
Treat yourself
Don't wait for people to bake or buy you things
Celebrate
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear[insert your name] Happy birthday to you!
A stinky hug and a pat on the back

how the fuck does anyone actually work 8 hours a day? holy fuck i cant do this shit

>>23647707
autopilot
don't start looking at your watch until your 2/3rds through your shift just optimize and efficasize and the time will fly

>>23647665
It’s gonna be okay, anon. It was my 23rd this year too and I was feeling the same way you’re feeling now. It sucks giving your all for your loved ones birthdays, but then not even getting a text on your own birthday. I’m sorry you have to go through this, some people are just bad at remembering dates and such, you could bring it up to your bf if you want, though, I doubt he wanted to hurt you. Anyway, happy birthday, I hope the rest of your year is better than the day itself. All the best to you.

I just wish you would stop interfering with our love. She is the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

I've come to the realization, that my cats will eat me alive one day after I've died alone, and I'm okay with that.

>>23647707
I don't know, I don't think anyone knows what they're doing
Sometimes I just spend my entire weekends depressed in bed just to rest my mind and do nothing. Part time would be an improvement already.

>>23647742
Then why not let me eat you alive? You never know, it could be fun. ;)

You look positively scrumptuous~ <3

he doesnt deserve all the shit i put him through. i hope i change before he realizes that and leaves.

>>23647771
I don't want to be alive while this is happening, but sure, have at it after i'm gone.

>>23647707
Do stuff on autopilot, enjoy some parts of work, take coffee breaks, talk to coworkers, if you are lucky like me and you can combine it with music or podcasts, combine it,... stuff

Basically become a professional slacker when there's not much of interest going on. Throw yourself when interesting opportunities arise.

I think she still likes me? That crab. I feel like that was a metaphor about me. Whether to let me go or keep me.

Or I'm just being delusional again.

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Feeling a bit angry today and not sure why or if i should be feeling this way, I literally want to punch a wall or order an escort and fuck them senseless.
Ive been with the gf for over a year now , we're both young, and i took her virginity and am her first bf. We were talking about crushes and that kind of stuff and she mentioned that one of her friends who is a goofy ass roodypoo who i just despise, had a crush on her hard when they first met , this was a few years ago befoer we knew eachother, and she was never interested but once when they were both drunk he kissed her and they made out. She was very drunk at the time after a couple bottles of alcohol and feels he did take advantage of her drunkenness (he was also drunk but that doesn't matter) and made a move on her . She instantly told him a day later that she had 0 feelings for him ad that she was just drunk and doesnt see him in another way. They've been friends for a few years and he even tried to make a move on her again and she outright told him to stop and was uncomfortable for a while. With this new info about this guy I feel so fucking angry inside and frustrated. To think i laughed with this dude I now feel stupid and dumb. I don't know what psychology is going on right now but im so mad anons , this cant be a healthy reaction? Is it because i see him as a vile thing? I want to kick this guys ass. Right now im debating going for a walk alone . Any advice older anons to why im feeling like this? Shes kissed like 1 other guy in her life except me but it was consensual and she was interested in him. Nothing ever came of it and she didnt even like the kiss aferwards and it doesnt bother me like this new revelation at all. Is it because I see it as him taking advantage of her being drunk so he can get something he wants?

>>23647247
Toys does seem like a good idea, yeah. Problem is his refractory period lasts like a day, he's never been able to keep going after he finishes.

>>23647848
>this cant be a healthy reaction? Is it because i see him as a vile thing?
It's because you see him as competition probably. Try to calm down. they were both drunk and they kissed it's not as big a deal as you think it is. Every now and then the atmosphere is right, lightning strikes, people kiss, or make out or even have sex and then decide that they do not want to take it any further.

>he was also drunk but that doesn't matter
kek, nice double standards.

i dont want anyone but you. i'll always be here.

So that's it huh? Make the effort for one evening and then it's back to the same old shit. I stayed here when I could have gone and for what? You to be annoying and difficult for no reason and to go to sleep really early.

If you can't be bothered then neither can I. This is why I didn't bother over the weekend. Wasn't sure I should have bothered today and I wish I hadn't. Next time I won't.

I keep waiting for someone to say something that convinces me suicide isn't the most reasonable answer.
I keep being disappointed.

>>23647898
It's more me feeling he took advantage of her. She said she felt he did take advantage of her being drunk and it makes me angry and a frustrated . I don't know what to do to get my mind away .

>>23647995
>She said
Ok, what did he say?

>>23647966
It's not, it's a cessation of the future for relief from your temporary problems. Unless you're physically disabled beyond belief and incapable of experiencing it's a bad gamble. You're going to die anyways, make the most of your life.

Dropped the last of my acid i've been holding onto for like 4 years last night. I sobbed like a little bitch when I felt myself coming back to reality. Like it's so fucking sorrowful, it's a place i never want to leave. I saw and felt and heard beautiful things.

>>23648026
I've experienced that too. Dropped acid in a desert festival, and had the easiest time of my life talking with people and feeling apart of something. Started coming down, and felt incredibly isolated and alone.

Huh. Why are you pretending to be them?

>>23648008
That despite telling him that she wasn't interested in him he still went ahead and made a move to kiss her and it so happened that age was drunk at the time. She says she's aware of this. It makes me think of guys who force themselves onto girls when though the girl tells them they're not interested , the guys just keep trying and trying. When she saud she beloved he took advantage of her being drunk it makes me angry . Like I want to hurt this guy

>>23647295
The more I talk to people about it I do realize it. We broke up cause she says I drank to much but goes behind my back and drinks it hurts like hell. And funny thing she said I took some of her shot glasses. Like whatever bitch u out there doing what u hated about me

I just realized that I have serious PTSD from my last employer. Like I knew I did but that just really showcased it. What the fuck.

>>23648056
Yeah, yeah, did she kiss back?

>>23646756
aww that's sweet, anon. i wish good fortunes your way

>>23647380
I wish he knew how to be happy by himself. I wish he knew he had to get therapy for his anger issues and notice how much it was affecting his loved ones. I wish he opens to more people so he can be loved freely, he never gets anyone else in. I wish... he finds happiness.

If we could rewind time, I would make the drive to come and meet you.

I can't tell if she likes me bros. I know she likes me but I mean like me like me. You know?

I know what you mean. Hard to tell the level of like you’re at with her.

>>23648184
Don't ask her, don't tell her how you feel, you'll be a simp. Hide your emotions, play games, trick her into loving you, if you don't get enough affirmation push her away because you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. If she loves you she will pull you back in. It is the way of the chad. God forbid having a healthy normal conversation. Listen to the broken people on /adv/ they know what is best.

>>23647227
Not at all, I am now in control of you.

>>23648319
'control' control' stop talking about you relationships and interactions with other human beings like you are operating machinery It isn't flattering.

I would really like to find a girl that likes me

I want to believe that people aren’t trying to operate me like a machine.

>>23648354
It's
>beep boop boop bop, beep boop boop beep

>Somewhere in an alternate universe
https://youtu.be/EovG1QzAL2k

I need energy. Sad all day :/

>>23648363
*gives you an energy drink*
First time?

>>23648359
No man you're thinking of
>beep boop boop bop, boop boop bop

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>>23648414

>>23648451
>he’s getting mobilized
CIA, watch yourselves.

>>23648451
croc why do I get goosebumps when I talk to femoids

I know you're stressed, and I understand the reason why. I understand wanting time to yourself. I get all of it, but what you just did makes me feel pretty shitty and like I just make things more stressful for you. I wish I could tell you, but it won't matter. Whatever. Why bother with me if that's how it is? Fuck this. All I ever want to do is help you and be there for you. This is hardly love anymore.

>>23648108
No

>>23648409
*chugs it* Ah... that’s the stuff

>>23648491
Do you really understand? I don’t think you do.

>>23648491
i'll always love you

whenever i get sick like this it makes me think of the people i used to think would always be there through my suffering. it makes me wonder if you got sick in the last year since we spoke, if you could have used my support at any time. or maybe you lost someone too. maybe you were alone and wished you weren't. i'd have done anything for you, to make you feel better or see you smile.

>>23648530
i do. i want to help. i dont know how, it feels like i cant do anything but watch

>>23647963
What are you talking about?

>>23648530
I do, actually. I'm not mad that you wanted time alone. My feelings are hurt because you leave me to dry when you get stressed. I shouldn't have to wonder what's going on because you're in a bad mood all of a sudden. I have never done that to you. How do you think it will feel? For the next week I'll be distant and cold like you so you can wonder too. Fuck off

Joining the US Army, at age 28. I already had almost completed my degree, but I'd changed my major every few years. I joined in 2002, because I knew 9/11 meant war. I knew I wouldn't mean shit, but I figured that there's strength in numbers. At least, if I went and died, that would mean someone else who went didn't die.
Time came, someone on my team killed an Iraqi standing along side the road. He'd said he was gonna kill someone that day, before we rode out. I told him not to do it if it wasn't justified. But he made his bones, that day.
I saw a tall man throw a rock at my truck. You know how it is, when time slows down? It was like that. Time slowed down. I saw every detail of that rock. It hit the back of my truck, and rolled harmlessly into the sand. The guy in the turret behind my truck killed that man. I saw his nose and head explode, as the bullets traced up from his chest.

>>23648558
same. my person just ghosts whenever he doesnt feel like talking or is busy. is it so hard to just tell me a quick "i cant talk rn but im okay dont worry"
i tried to be distant for a week lol and i couldnt do it. i texted him a big fuck you. feel bad about that...

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So ive been told by this nice girl i was gangraped, i believe her it just makes me itch for sex

>>23648584
i'd rape you mm post body

Girls are not the only good thing but they are the best thing

recently I had to go and pay for kerosene for the house heating on behalf of myself and my roommates. I asked for a specific amount of liters and we agreed on a price. I put down the deposit, they bring the oil, then I go in later and pay and they tell me to pay nearly twice the amount. I ask them how that was, and they told me they put in twice the amount I ordered and they tried to get me to pay for it despite me not wanting it. They made a mistake apparently and gave me too much heating oil, they tried giving me deals and all that but I didn't need it so told them no in the end, so they told me that they'll take the excess oil back but they still haven't and I don't think they will so I think they just fucked up because they clearly seemed uncomfortable with the situation.

Thing is that I felt bad, like I almost wanted to pay the extra, like it was me who made the mistake. I felt like they disliked me for not paying the extra. But thats money I don't have and oil I don't need, and I agreed on a specific amount and a specific price. They accepted it, then THEY fucked up. Why do I feel guilty for their incompetence? I literally did nothing wrong and stood my ground but I feel like they disliked me, like it was my fault and i refused to take responsibility for it and it genuinely made me feel bad to the point where I almost gave in... I hate that, because I made no mistakes there and I'm afraid this attitude/response might translate onto other things in my life, except it might not be as obvious I'm not at fault, as it was in this situation, so it worries me I might feel guilt I shouldn't feel and do something stupid I shouldn't have to do

>>23648613
Kick them out
They take advantage of you and make you feel bad
Don't take in those type of people in as roommates

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seems like life is an eternal ear against god.

i d rather it delete me now knowing i cant handle that kind of personality anymore.

im too illiterate to handle "god's plan" it s always too big.... like penis

just like society.

it stinks.

i should have find comfort now, but people kept dragging it on. no one backs me up, not devil nor god.


well.

the greatest part is that... everyon tries to beat evwryone too.
maybe theyll get swallowed by their own design in the end. or really.. thats the goal

to suffocate yourself eternally.

nothing is eternal
except eternity itself.


pfft. lame

>>23648338
Who said anything about a relationship?

>>23646756
These thoughts make me smile. I know you'll make choices that make you happy and as long as you smile, so will I.

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>>23648608

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>mfw hes filipino
https://youtu.be/okdBhwY8sh8

i see you, thanks. you didn’t. it’s just a daydream now.

tird
gae

u gae
u all gae

h8lp

one day i will become an hero

>>23648715
excuse me im trying to be depressed over here

>>23648715
hahah de_stroyed get reqt kid

I don't find joy in any of my time wasting hobbies so why can't I just spend that time on something productive instead. This is proof of a physical dependence.

>>23648739
>>23648755
watch it i ll klaw ur eyes out

>>23648766
monemoneymoney
moneymane
gachoo aaaaa
aaaaaaaa aaaaaa
monemonemone

kueeoeoeo
kueeeoeoeo

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I want to die and I don't know why. Every now and again I get bursts of extreme self-loathing and all I want to do is smash my head into the wall until I stop thinking. But then -poof- everything is alright and I can cope confidantly with my past sins, realize I was stupid and wrong, and go on with my time. The worst part about it is that nothing really triggers it, it just happens and all of a sudden my day is ruined and I can't stop thinking everyone I know would benefit from my death in some way, getting rid of an annoyance, getting rid of a weird guy, getting rid of a bad man, etc.
I know this isn't real depression, plenty of people have it worse and I don't deserve to call what I have an illness for every wrong I've done. I'm sorry /adv/, I just don't know what to do this time and I don't want to bother my friends with my dumb shit, I just need to vent it out I guess.

>>23648775
i don’t even have eyes haha ha

>>23648625
its not the roommates but the people at the place that sold me the oil that fucked up and acted like I was to blame

how do i find a grunge girl to take care of and listen to music with. tinder sucks and bumble is for gays while i've never even been in a relationship before that wasn't LDR.

>had gay sex again
Why do I keep doing this? I can barely stay hard it's getting old, but it's so god damn easy to get a faggot to ride your cock.

>>23648860
because it's easy, that's why

>>23648871
I know but I want to stop.
I can only stand to fuck trannies and even then I have to force myself to cum.

How do I fuck real women instead?
Like what app do I use? On Grindr I just spray and pray a picture of my cock and eventually one of them will want to fuck. Does this work on women?

>>23648879
I should add that I am not /fit/ but not too skinnyfat either, very average body and my cock is a breddy gud 7 inches

>>23648879
no. unless she's a whore but if you do that on apps like tinder or shit you'd be considered a threat and a sexual predator. try going to bars or hell if you have the cash just pick up a hooker. if you want a relationship then try tinder and maybe you'll get lucky with a few hookups to maybe even a relationship. it all depends, but if you're active with it you'll make it somewhere.

i lowkey just want to find a relationship in person but i'm hella picky of who i'd want to be with. what is wrong with me.

>>23648903
Nothing
Everything
Hypergamy
It's okay man

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>>23645099
>I like a girl
>went on 2 dates with her and it seemed we enjoyed each other's company
>starting to catch feelings
>constantly wondering if she likes me back
>looking signs of romantic interest
>overthinking

fuck me. I honestly didn't expect to like this girl but she is the only woman I know that has ever initiated to talk to me.

>>23648579
Damn, I'm sure that's done great things for your faith in humanity. It must have been kind of rough being stuck around people like that. I guess we're all just crazy monkey people in the end.

>>23648908
:(

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>>23648908
i've been single for about 3 years because i barely go out to date anyone. typing this out on 4chan makes me sad.

I get 2-4 matches a day. I learned not to be myself and mirror the dumb shit they like since women don't care about my hobbies. I'm talking to 3-4 women at any given time and I don't give a single fuck about any of them. They're all vapid and boring.

Is this what you wanted? Do you feel liberated now? We'll be divorced in less than ten years. I don't know which one I'll be with, but it doesn't matter. You're all the same. It's just some stupid fake game. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and die alone. I definitely don't plan to stay with any of you.

Just be good. Please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GGRdwfhl-U

>>23648940
basically tinder.

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>>23646102

Nigger you can be better than this. Your relationship is over, do not submit yourself to this cuckoldry. She is using you, she has been all this time. FORGET YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER, SHE CLEARLY HAS NEVER FELT THE SAME WAY. Her place in your heart was forfeit the moment she touched another man. Give her a piece of your mind and cut her out forever, she is only deserving of your hatred now, nothing more. That serpentine whore deserves your wrath.

>>23648927
Don't worry, you'll join the 10+ year club eventually and the bad feelings will fade into a constant dull melancholy

>>23648941
i'd be perfectly fine if it wasn't stopping me from smoking weed. ):

>>23648947
bleh. it's always been a dull melancholy, i don't know how to break out of it. i just want to find some emo girl to take care of honestly. that's the dream.

>>23648943
Lol what else am I going to do? Get in trouble at work? Bother someone over Zoom? Awkwardly cold approach people?

"Just wait five more years for the lockdown to end, you'll only be 32 then!"

I don't care anymore. If this doesn't work out I'll pay for a surrogate mother in five years. Rather do that anyway at this point.

Stop killing people

>>23648949
Weed is perfect, hard drugs are bad news.

>>23648953
well i had one but i dropped her because she didn't know she slept with some shitty molester who was drunk. we both were. but it felt wrong having her let me do that to her, it wasn't supposed to go down that way.

>>23648959
well, i mean at least you're getting what want i guess. you'll find someone it's not completely hopeless?

>>23648962
this.

weed is all i need, not these stupid bipolar disorder pills because i'm not even bipolar, i'm 'schizo' supposedly.

this is the only place i like on 4chan. though it gets me nowhere.

>>23648983
just these threads specifically. i'm not obsessed, it's just nice to read what people say.

>>23648981
It's okay. I am too. Schizo is the new normal, like mutant xmen. <3 Love.

>>23648981
just mow the lawn then

>>23648993
nazimongs like you all r not allowed to make any sound psychological analysis :/

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I'm still fucking enjoying being Grantwood for so much stuff, but holy shit was this one something special

That motherfucker is 100000000X this pic related.

here's lil redemption bump for my Tech Office work (myself I mostly enjoy) or maybe it's the inescapable Maps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIIxlgcuQRU

im sad and unable to grow.

and the books make no sense to me either

if i go to psych i ll lose those time.

maybe im actually the radical theist
hahahahah

ur mom kars

>>23648977
I don't care about "finding someone," I just want to have children

>>23648994
nah it's not about income, it's about point and time.

>>23649012
there s alot of weed in the lawn.

>>23649009
ew children. why is that anon?

>>23649009
i just want to be not scolded as an otoko

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>>23648993
<3

>>23649015
there's too much weed in the lawn.

>>23649016
At first I just wanted to be a good dad. Now I just want to spite all the shitstains that take joy in men dying alone. If I don't get a regular relationship, I'll go with surrogacy and have kids every five years. I'll probably throw most of them into adoption but I'll keep a few if they're male. I'm having kids one way or another

>>23649021
pic made me chuckle
thx

...yesyes i should stap complaining cuz lot of pople have it worse. like robbed and cheated


and i can say this cuz im a big boye now. im bigger boye and happier boye now.

i wanna do charory but my manga sells 0 lol

kant ketchup to bill gaets

I love my wife more than anything else in the world. But sometimes I wish I never met her.

>>23649049
That is a powerful statement

>>23648999
Meh

haters gonna hate

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I'm a cheating scumbag. It was a one time thing with no feelings but that's no excuse. I've spent so much of my life feeling insecure, having awful relationships, getting cheated on, that now I'm realizing I don't have the ability to maintain a healthy relationship.

>>23647364
Naw man just tell her " I was thinking about bringing it up and asking you to come and wathc it again." and if she brings up "lol anon..why didnt you?" grab her by the neck and throat fuck her right there in the office.

>>23647898
>Every now and then the atmosphere is right, lightning strikes, people kiss, or make out or even have sex and then decide that they do not want to take it any further.
I had a few of these and it in a strange way is some of the purest shit ever. Those moments and people always knew it was never gonna happen outside that setting. Makes me think about trying a open relationship with someone next to just test it.

>>23648983
I like /pol/ at times when its not a ring wing fuckery. I miss the political banz on it.
I like /tv/ and /tg/ also /out/ I come here on /adv/ only afte rbreak ups. I guess you know why I am here now.

I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going. I hate my major so much I can barely stand listening to lectures but I'm in enough debt that I can't give up now.

i'm not even angry, i'm being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
and tore me to pieces
and thew every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because i was so happy for you

I've been feeling like shit lately and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend about it.

We've been in a relationship for nearly two years, and have been living together since lockdown first started in the UK, but even with him near me everyday it sometimes just feels so lonely. He used to wake up, go on the computer (which meant he'd have his back to me) and not say anything to me until he'd go to bed, rinse and repeat the next day. I'd spoken to him about it and he fixed it for a while, but then I found out he'd been posting on here saying that I'm suffocating and can't function without him. I confronted him about it and he said he just needs time to himself sometimes, which I'm more than happy to give him, only it feels to me like its been going on too long.

It's gotten to the point now where he has reversed our sleeping patterns so we only get a couple of hours together, and even then he still spends most of it on the PC with his friends.

I'm fully capable of doing my own thing, he just makes my day special when he spends some time with me, and lately I've felt like even though we're right next to each other, it's like he's barely even there and it hurts. I don't know how to tell him all of this without him feeling like I'm suffocating him though, so I don't know what to do, but I can't stay silent for much longer either because it's an awful crushing feeling 24/7

God I'm fucked in the head.

if you hate me so much then why are you following me around hmmmm!?

I've decided not to give a shit about what other people think about me anymore. I'm done. Fuck them all. I'll harden my heart and become cold to the world. I've waited 30 years to figure out shit people learned when they were in their teenage years. I don't know why I have to try so much harder than everyone else to grasp basic social concepts. And I don't care.

Things didn't work out with the girl I really liked. It really fucking sucks. I was prepared to give her the world. I have hope there could be a future for us but its waning. I dont want to lose hope but there seems to be no outcome. I know I need to move on with my life but I cant help but feel there's still something special and more between us. I hope she feels the same.

>>23649021
ur gun gae

I told myself I'd go for a walk, or ride my bike since it was so nice out today. Nope, took a nap around 10am, my phone died, and I slept until 9pm for some reason. Had this weird dream that I was living in some 1950's-esuqe kitchy burlesque brothel for some reason, annoyed at everything, and was trying to escape.

Just in case you need it, too.

https://youtu.be/QTKLdXuUeBA

fck. i was oblivious

well. kontent.


even tho it 's fast now.

seriously it deserve 100k follos

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If I told my underage self this, she'll become upset not because you're engaged or whatever but because she'll never get an autograph.

i wanna say "yeh i dont like drawing i actually like talking to retarded channers like you all"

but then i rmb daddy say lying dishonest anonfags like you are fake and two timing backstabbing hackanons also sexual predators blablbal

have a nice one anonis

If there's anything i'll change in the past, i'll read philosophy books instead of romance novels.

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Yeah i believe that

I think I'm getting bored of my best friends. I moved away a while ago and saw them for the first time in a few months last weekend, and it was a good time and all, but it just feels off now. They're not in school, they still live with their parents even though they could move out, they don't drink or smoke or anything, and I know we're in a pandemic and all but they don't really wanna go out and do things and they never really have. So when we do hang out we just kinda sit inside and play vidya and watch a movie or youtube or whatever. And it's fun, but it's also like, that's the same things we were doing when we were 15, you know? And I know college isn't for everyone, and living with your parents is smart financially, and we shouldn't need alcohol or weed to have fun, but it almost just feels like these guys never really grew up. Like they're just content with living the exact same life they did as teenagers. And I guess if it works for them it works for them, but it doesn't work for me anymore.

>>23645099
no homework today, was gonna spend it all catching up for the test on monday
spent it jerking off to porn that makes me nauseous and rewatching youtube videos i've seen a dozen times

at least i did some very light exercise. somehow that makes it worse

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>>23648700
https://youtu.be/faX04-lGziU?t=60

Pick a color

I have a girlfriend, but I’ve gone on Omegle and had girls show me their tits and/or I showed them my cock multiple times now. I feel like I do it compulsively when I feel lonely.

>>23649462
red
>>23649468
fucked up

>>23649462
yellow

>>23648013
>You're going to die anyways
You're right, I am going to die anyways.
My life sucks, and it's going to suck for however many years it takes to maybe get my shit together. I don't see a reason not to press "skip cutscene".

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>>23649004
Addendum:

My Maps is fucking Ewan McGregor dude! I'm fucking here in this shit right now.

>>23649508
Addendum Addendum:

Follow my age!

I know you don't know about be, but that makes it even funniest. I'm in his bloodline and I spent more money this year on his movie then he did for his whole box office and that's

I've wasted almost the entirity of my life up to this point.
Love, relationships, career, hobbies, they've all been complete misfires or dead ends.
Even if I did manage to fix one, a few, or even all of these aspects of my life, nothing will erase the years that I wasted away in my prime.
I feel like my life isn't even over, because it never really started in the first place. I think that because there is no redemption and also as a fitting punishment, I should just drive into the wilderness and hang myself from a tree.

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>>23649512
....and... that's.... FUCKING GOLD!

Psstt.... I'm in a fucking pre-game!

>>23649501
it's not a cutscene you retard you're in the game itself. start looking for fun content instead of whining, you only have 1 playthrough

>>23649586
>it's not a cutscene you retard
It sure feels like one
>start looking for fun content instead of whining, you only have 1 playthrough
You say this as if I'm not aware

>>23649624
>feels like one
then stop playing your role.
>as if I'm not aware
you're acting like you're not.

>>23649692
i fucking hate that the names stay from post to post. can't shitpost and have a legit discussion without checking it.

>>23649692
>then stop playing your role.
You make it sound so easy. Maybe it is for other people.
>you're acting like you're not.
How so?

Dear god I hope this dinner date goes well tomorrow.

>>23649199
i love you and i'll wait for you. we can be happy together. i dont want anyone else.

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>>23649435
>catch these mf bullets

I’ve got too much to lose and this should have been handled ages ago. I failed on my part to see it through and as a result see someone I truly cared about go down a path I did not expect them to go. At least giving them the love they deserved, they would have most definitely benefited from it. I did so after these years but it was too late and I can’t let that go. It eats me alive sometimes because I had high hopes for them. Could it be that I saw them completely in a different light? I ask myself this and many more agonizing questions. I want to rest already. I haven’t been at my best and this has been poisoning me. Doesn’t help that I created it in the first place. I hate this. I don’t know how I’ll even shake them off. Knowing myself, the only way this can stop is if I go on and fulfill what I would do for them. I hate the fact I let them slip out of my sight. People who I’ve let in have done me wrong and vice versa. They were someone completely different and I had them on my sights and I didn’t do it. I just want to forget about this and go back and rest. I’ve had enough of this and I no longer want to be involved with this. With what I’m surrounded, it’s more than enough for me to keep myself occupied. Even then it still gets to me sometimes and I can’t get this to stop. I’ve already did what was necessary. They awaken something in me which myself I’m not sure I want. Let me rest.

im consciously bore myself of u.

except art which i cant leave.


eventually the femichrists will come here and send me to jail for a decade like bill cosby for minor sexual harassment i did

because
isis beheaded that canadian female trooper like a fucking goon so now im getting the bite like dickwad

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I'm sorry is all that I can say for not doing it. Because I am Catholic I got a special Pierce of the Veil of Reality that sticks like the thump in my heart for the rest of forever.

My daughter is all I can look forward to now and I hope it is enough as was previously done by the first of my name.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB0MRNPDDJo

I miss you already. I’m trying so hard not to message you. I want you to desire me. I want it to be fun. I want it outside. You have to catch me. Push me into the dirt. I forget where I was going with this. I want to sleep.

....or no really. im not even theist.

the theistr dying to mutilate me lol

>>23650046
I miss you but we can't be together yet. One day. wait for me and I'll wait for you

.....smehow i wanna know music to be happy

well. at least we know where does thi all come from considering how leftover and sadistic theism is and its following.

it clears this all

one of the worst person i know in life is theist too.

guess god forgives everyone and everything.

except dumb loser like me

pfft

kys retard

>>23650053
...We don’t have much longer to meet. you’ll exist only in my fantasies. I’m deliriously hopeless.

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NEVER FORGET!

SHE WAS THERE! SHE WAS THERE FOR A LONG FUCKING TIME! WE PROMISED TO DO THIS YEARS AHEAD OF TIME!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8XSARX3DQg

>>23649199
Me too anon. My big mistake was showing I cared about her. They find that as a weakness, gotta treat them like trash to get their attention it's so stupid.

>>23650100
Her name was A.I.