how to stop overthinking, stop having so many negative anxious thoughts, be more laid back and relaxed, be more productive, stop caring so much what other people think or say about me? I binge surf net as a cope and I don't enjoy itmy biggest problem was always that I had so many negative and anxious thoughts and I was scared of people and my mood was affected so much by other people, I can't get rid of itI am also scared of being ashamed, I want to stop giving a fuck, I can't understand how I get ashamed so easily, while there are people who do some crazy shit and post it online and don't give a fuck, or porn stars who don't give a fuck that they are fucked and people watch it
Do some research on mindfulness and practice everyday.
if this isn't a legit mental illness that you can't control, you have to actually put in the work to change. guess what, it's a slow and painful process. nothing is overnight. for me it started with not constantly shooting down positive thoughts every time. the second thing you do is not holding onto negative thoughts. you have to let them come and go and not dwell. this will all feel incredibly fake at first, but slowly you begin to change. it got to the point where my best friend of 13 or 14 years nearly gave up on me, i fucked up a chance with a girl who thought i was fucking cool and attractive, fizzled out and lost a decent job of 6 years and had to move back in with my parents for me to finally realize feeling sorry for myself constantly will never get me anywhere. i felt out of control, too, but slowly my brain is being reprogrammed.there are no memes or drugs or therapy that worked for me -- i had to find it within myself. it's npc-tier level advice but it's all i got for ya
This is pretty mich what anxiety is, for many people, and there are good resources out there, should you be willing to try to fix the root cause. I'll always advocate for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and every anxiety treatment plan starts with a daily walk. It is effective, and it also lets a therapist see if you're actually interested in making an effort to change. Building up your sense of self and confidence has been the subject of a thousand self-help books, but the easiest solution is to do things to be proud of. Set goals, be a better person by being altruistic, whatever you need... change starts with making changes. Until you take that first step to make changes, nothing else whatsoever matters. Oh, and if you haven't seen it, a key (perhaps eveb THE key) to better mental health has a physical componant... IOW, changes im behavioral output require changes in behavioral input.
>>23638595>if this isn't a legit mental illness that you can't controlhow to find out?>>23638630>This is pretty mich what anxiety isbut I've read that if I have no physical symptoms then I have no anxietyalso why even bother to make myself better if when I make 1 mistake then everyone forget the good and see only this one mistakedoctor prescribed me sertraline, should I take it?
Someone recommended mindfulness, and you ignored him. I’d like to know why.Getting a mindset right if it is sick is a very complicated thing, if you try to do it from within the mindset, by thinking, etc. There’s a certain “escape velocity” of positivity that’s needed to keep the mindset from just further deteriorating into negativity. Mindfulness is about watching the mind. Letting go of judgements for a while, and just observing for a while. Noticing how the thoughts you mention have a certain pull to them, that keeps you cycling them. Noticing how that feels. Becoming more clear about what they are. Noticing what makes them start, if they are not truly always there. You step outside of the sick mind for a while, and just watch it, so you can learn about it. This supercedes the need for that escape velocity of positivity that I mentioned. Instead of being within the mindset and letting it constantly develop further into negativity, you realize that the thinking mind is a tool. Not your entire existence. And you don’t have to employ it every moment you’re awake. You can simply watch the contents of it. This builds your self-referential brain networks, it makes you understand yourself better through insights, and it stops the mindset from just reinforcing itself more and more. Because when you notice the contents of the thinking mind for long enough, you break its momentum, and the contents will start to take a turn away from the habitual and into a more novel territory. Which is the very thing you’re asking for.
>>23638318OP, yes you have anxiety, and no it's not a permanent state of being where there is a "right answer" on how to get out of it.Anxiety is a normal part of human experience. If you read more books or talk to others about it you'll realize this.Anxiety is the fear of the unknown. You're afraid of what other people are thinks because you can't ever know them.The more you avoid the things you fear, the more you'll be afraid of it and you'll become further and further away from getting over your anxiety.I was very spoiled and protected as a child, and a shut-in for most of my teen years. I'm in my mid-20s and barely overcoming my anxiety.Just "not giving a fuck" isn't what you're looking for, that'll just turn you into an asshole. Instead confront what makes you afraid, improve yourself and make friends, learn about those friends and learn that they're not really thinking of you or that they've got anxieties of their own.Start from little things. Take care of your body and eat&excercise, because anxiety level increases if you're feeling like shit. Take some of the advices in these threads, ask your therapist for CBT or meditate. I'd suggest reading on buncha old European people who wrote on the subject of anxiety.Also don't take the pills. There's a reason why they tell you "the pills are just a crutch." Once you stop taking them, you'll be right back where you started.
>>23639766There’s not going to be a magical quick fix, might as well stop bumping
>>23641631Bro you got a ton of actually good advice, quit being an attention whore
>>23638852>how to find out?Don't. Don't give yourself the crutch and and excuse to not do the work necessary. No pills or any amount of psychotherapy is going to give you the discipline and practice necessary to get results.
>I binge surf net as a cope and I don't enjoy itCope for what? What are you escaping from exaclty? Try to fix that shit without binging.Try meditation. Focus on your breating and things you hear, ignore all thoughts, especially negative ones. You can meditate while doing someting simple, like walking. I suggest light exercise (like walking or jogging) to relax from your negative thoughts, especially when you feel overwhelmed. When you get back form your run/walk, you will feel better. Also heavy exercises such as weightlifting and stprinting work good for me.Now stop bumping, if these advies here don't help you then you need professional help, either talk therapy or medication.
>>23645473Meditation is not about ignoring thoughts. Can make you mentally ill if you do that a lot
>>23645495you have to let go of the negative thoughts.
>>23641631bruh, see this >>23638595, and this >>23638630, and this >>23638996, and this >>23639125. this has been one of the most helpful anxiety threads I've seen in ages, stop bumping for attention. these guys have given you the blueprint for dealing with the issues you're facing. read them many times and start taking action
>>23645530Yes, but I think it is very important to fully acknowledge the content of the thought. To notice the thought you just had, as fully and consciously as you can. Then you can let it go. One of the goals is to make your thought patterns very clear, because that makes them very easy to let go of. If you are too quick to just think “bad thought, let go”, then you are still kind of in this impulsive mode of thinking, and don’t attain as much conscious awareness of your thought patterns as you could have.