I've done too many disgusting and horrible things throughout my life, do I still deserve to have a husband, do I still have a chance or not? I've been homeschooled all my life and never had friends because of it, so at 13 I got internet friends. I dated a guy at 13, got sexual with him and was worried about my reputation so I lied about him and said he threatened to commit suicide if I didn't send him nudes. Dated another guy at 14, he was 11 and too young for me so I lied to get out of the relationship. Dated the first guy I truly fell in love with, was too clingy for him and he broke up with me at 15. I couldn't get over him and I cheated with him on his girlfriend who was my friend for a year. I'm a sick disgusting scum, I know. They broke up, she started dating my best friend and shortly after I started having feelings for him. About a year after they dated, I confessed that I loved him and he said he felt the same way for me and he broke up with her that night and she was so hurt. I hate myself for it to this day. I basically stole him away from her. Then I still loved that other guy and I cheated on my best friend with that guy. Shortly after that my best friend cheated on me, I was too hurt and too depressed and the hurt I caused him and everyone so after 5 years I left my friends. They think I hate them and that I abandoned them, I still love them though. I've done a lot more bad stuff in between all of that. I'm 19 now, I want to be honest with whoever I meet who I'm interested in but I know they would run for the hills if they heard about all the sick things I've done and rightfully so. How do I become good enough to get a good relationship or husband? I of course have learned my lesson to never cheat again, even though no one will believe it and again, rightfully so. Do you think I have any chance? Thanks for reading. God bless.
What kind of fucking answer do you want to hear?
>>22582928An honest one
>>22582936I think you're revolting and nothing you said makes you seem like a person I would trust. Your only mitigating factor is you started this as a kid. Maybe you can use your young adult years to practice honesty and empathy and righteousness.
>>225829238>>22582936Pair bonding ability beyond repair, marriage is possible from a practical point of view but love and monogamy likely isn't. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
>>22582953That's exactly what I'm starting to do now, I made a promise to never hurt anyone in any way like that again. I would never go back. But I don't think anyone would give me a chance or trust me just as you said you don't.
>>22582963What is marriage without love and monogamy? Just a piece of paper with no meaning. I feel I've wasted my life. I know there's more to life than relationships but it's very important to me.
>>22582963>Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.This really. I've made particularly dumb decisions and I've had to accept I can't have it all this life, or make compromises no one else has to. You still seem to think you can have your cake and eat it.
>>22582968Yeah and if a situation where you could hurt someone, never have any bad consequences, and get an incredible relationship with someone great as a result, would you? Or would you not hurt them and miss out on it?
>>22582923Short answer: No. You fucked up whatever potential you had to be wife material once you cheated. No man worth his salt would marry a cheater.Not to mention all that emotional baggage from the things you did. Marriage minded men don't have time to deal with that.
>>22582977Miss out on it, I've already made that promise too. I have trust in God that he'd bring someone else even better for me. Even if he didn't I would still miss out on it, if I don't get an amazing relationship then it's the punishment I'd deserve
>>22582979Whenever I feel hurt about this, I try to talk to my mom and she said what I've done is awful but I was a young stupid kid and I know better today. She said since I never had friends growing up I was very immature at 13 and on. I always said she had mom goggles and can't see how awful it is. But somehow her words gave me hope but I guess it really isn't that way
>>22582923You know you are not gonna get a real answer here right?
>I'm a sick disgusting scumOh no, a teenager did silly stuff with her relationships, call the cops lmaoDon't be so hard on yourself, OP. You are not to blame any more than your friends and partners. Those were practice relationships. You'll find way better ones in the next 10 years, trust me.
>>22582983>I won't be tempted, says eve You're never going to get any productive answer here. Maybe you have an idea of what consequences are and how to live righteously. Maybe you'll fall into your old habits. This thread won't change a thing.
>>22582973>What is marriage without love and monogamy? Just a piece of paper with no meaning.Well it can be a neat contract for coexistence. And you can get kids too who will be all the world to you, your troublesome past should not affect your motherhood.>I feel I've wasted my life. I know there's more to life than relationships but it's very important to me.Don't think you're alone in this, it's all too common nowadays. Young people live unchecked and do permanent damage to themselves, that's what permissive liberalized parenting has done to people.
>>22582923Jesus, you're 19. Stop worrying about this shit. Don't ask strangers what you can or can't do. Anyone is capable of love. Take therapy because it seems like you have some issues though.
>>22582988Guess not, dunno where else to ask. Thanks though>>22582989That gives me some hope, thanks a lot anon. I hope.>>22582990Maybe, I honestly just wonder what direction to go to better myself for a good partner.
>I'm 19 nowplease lead with this next timeI ended up reading more than one line of your post before seeing your agedidn't read anything else, pointless thread, go out, see a movie, have a walk
>>22582923Everybody does some bad stuff don't beat yourself up on it. Reading whay you wrote was just basically teen drama, nothing srs like arson. Hell you still young and have a life to look forward to. Just be yourself and enjoy life now. I wouldn't recommend finding husband now, maybe when you're in your mid 20s. You still young and growing, dont look for marriage now
Everyone does dumb shit when they're young. It's a fact of life. Just leave it behind you and work on being better.
>>22582996Thanks anon, that gives me some light at the end of the tunnel. Pretty painting too>>22583001Hah sorry about that. Thanks :>>22583002>>22583006Well you guys are very sweet and gave me some hope. I know it doesn't seem like someone's simple sentence can help change a person's problems, but it honestly feels like there's some light. I hope you guys have beautiful lives. (Man I sound dramatic, I know.)
>>22583012Lol it is awrite OP. Best of luck to you too and glad I could help!
youre gonna get a ton of angry autismos calling you a jezebel in this thread but heres a personal story: my first gf from high school cheated on me for about 2 years. it was a horrible move spurred, from my understanding, by her weakness and the intoxicating feeling of being pursued. i cannot speak to who she is now - but i can speak to watching her break emotionally, spiritually and physically when she realized her house of cards had fallen. it was gut wrenching and, perversely, made me want to protect but i broke up with her instead. from last i heard she has found a decent man, married and started a family.so to answer your question of are you worthy enough to become someones wife? of course you are. you mightve done some shit things in the past but the beauty about humans is that we adapt our behaviors and (hopefully) change. who you are now is much much different than who you were 5 years ago. you are holding onto a lot of guilt that was generated by a teenager with an extremely poor understanding of social norms and relationships that you need to release. you have an idea of your own perceived value as a partner - but remember that worth is also determined by the man pursuing you. if you want to forge yourself into someone "worthy" than i would focus on living your life in such a way that you would be proud of.
>>22583034That's extremely helpful advice, thank you anon. I'ma keep this
>>22582979>marriage minded men don't have time for emotional baggageWhat the fuck are you talking about? Marriage minded people are trying to learn all they can about someone. You're life partners, you're going to run into it either now or 30 years from now
>>22582923Yeah that was shitty of you, but you're 19, this is the PERFEC TIME to improve, nothing you did as a kid will matter, people change, just try to become better and if you actually try im sure you can do it. Best of luck and be sure to be honest with your partner and friends even if it hurts them or gets you into trouble, it will help you in the long run!
You were a teenager and still are OP.I'm not saying you should forget what you done but you should forgive yourself for what you did and move on and try to become a better person.Knowing what you did was a shitty thing is a step forward.
Girls naturally have a high libido. Your only 19, you’re good. Just look good, eat clean and don’t fall off after 30. Take care of your kids when married and make your husband #1 concern. Lastly, get off this site it’s a bunch of virgins and guys pretending to be girls because they can’t get attention from them in real life.
>>22582923Worthy? Definitely, but you might not like who that husband is. What's the other bad stuff? Or is this the worst it's been?I have personally had friends who cheated in their youth but have, I believe, reformed themselves. It is possible, though difficult.I also know a dude who's wife was a prostitute before coming to Christ. She's a lovely lady, and they seem happily married, but you will occasionally catch glimpses of her past that are totally out of character for who she is now.
>>22582923It's too late for you.
>>22582923There's nothing wrong with you. You're exactly what every real man expects you to be: a woman.That means you're a disgusting slut; a lying, cheating, conniving, jealous, selfish, self-entitled cunt. Nothing new about you.Now, let's move on to the word "wife". A wife is a woman who has raised herself above her station of woman. She reasons, doesn't follow the crowd, has life going for her, knows what she wants, tells the truth, devotes herself to her husband as much as he does for her, wants kids, and would never dare to even think about dating a black man (god damn disgusting).You've already destroyed yourself. If you legitimately try to redeem your worthlessness WITHOUT VIRTUE SIGNALING, you may find a real guy to make you his wife....unless you've dated a black. God knows that's the most vile thing a woman can do. I'll marry a woman who tells me that she's fucked a dog, but not a black. I dry heave to think about touching any woman who has dated a black. Dissssssssssgusting.
>>22582923>I dated a guy at 13>Dated another guy at 14, he was 11 >Dated the first guy I truly fell in love with, was too clingy for him and he broke up with me at 15....>I'm 19 now.....>How do I become good enough to get a good relationship or husband?By growing the fuck up.Your teenage crushes are literally fucking meaningless. They were not 'relationships'. Nobody in adult life gives a shit about nonsense crushes you had in your early to mid teens.Start acting like an adult and planning your future like an adult.
>>22582923While Redding I couldn't keep track of how many times you cheated kek.You're retarded. And go kys bitch. You're a filthy whore.
>>22587723She fucked all of them, dumb shit. Can't you read English?
This all happened when you were a teenager. Yeah it was bad, people do stupid shit when they’re young. What’s important is that you know it’s bad, but even more important is that you learn and grow from it. Therapy may help as well. And maybe stay single for a good amount of time before you go searching again. I mean, we are in a pandemic after all, kiiinda hard to start relationships during it. Pick up some hobbies, try new foods, figure out who you are.Ignore the retards who say it’s too late for you, because it’s FAR from too late. You aren’t even 20 yet, no need to stress about being wife material rn. Figure out who you are
>>22582923Lmao. What a slut. Yeah, you can be someone’s wife if you hide it. Tell anyone, and they’ll probably leave you unless they were a desperate beta.