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New thread same vents that my life baybee
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I had really bad depression and some social anxiety throughout college, but before my senior year I finally got decent treatment. I thought things were turning better, then this shit virus hit. I wanted to have some fulfillment and not feel like I missed out on so much. I guess it's impossible. I can't fix anything really - only maintain a semblance of basic functioning every day and distract myself from these thoughts that make me want to eat a bullet. I still have some credits to fill and don't know whether to go back to campus or stay home, but either way I doubt anything great will happen ultimately.
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i got dumbed by my gf for a childhood friend of mine. It makes me so depressive and sick to see them together and i wish she would get cheated on or break up just to make the situation easier for me i cant break it off because she is my best only friend and i hate this so much. My suicidal thoughts got really bad at this point and i feel like a complete loser for it. I would like to end my pathetic beta cuck existence but my mother and brother would be marked for live if i killed myself like that out of no where. I already bought a helium tank to drown but i still cant bring myself to do it
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This time I will definitely go the entire thread without making a single post about you JL.

Oh.
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i want to kill myself i’ve removed everyone from my high school off social media after graduation because i got a job where i made some friends and thought they were better but nope everyone is the same. everyone fucking leaves and everyone does backstabbing and attentionseeking shit because they value themselves over everyone else
so essentially i’m gonna be going to college soon and be all alone this is fucking awesome :)
oh and i also started to develop feelings for someone i became friends with at my job. well this was a shitty idea as it always is because as fuckin always the better looking one is gonna win them over and then ill be laying in the mud hahahahahaha
i’m fucking bitter
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I had a really good shot with a really hot girl once and I totally messed it because I was way more drunk than I should've been. Because I never expect to have a shot with any girls so I figure I'll just get totally fucked and get my time's worth out of it. I should believe in myself more. All pre-COVID.
>>
Hours are cut, people are leaving, management fucking sucks, she doesn't like me anymore.
What's the point in trying? It's time to give up.
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sexless and kissless for 11 years due to life taking a massive dump on me. almost 33 now. desperate for woman intimacy. lately i've been watching romance & rom coms to satiate that hunger. i've been focusing more on the romantic part and less on the horniness, though i still fap here and there (not as much as i used to). for those 11 years, i feel like i've tried to bury my personality, my feelings, my loneliness and put up walls to guard myself, desensitize myself, make myself numb, slowly destroying my own humanity. now, more than ever, i have to undo all the damage i've done to my soul or i know i'll never have a chance of connecting with someone. or else i'll spend my entire life serenading to girls who don't even know i exist, on a tv.
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>Get It Off Your Chest
Tell me about the japo man
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>>22579999
maybe eight years ago now, i was in my late teens at a party. I got exceedingly drunk and this girl invited me to her room to cuddle. We started grinding and started to feel her up and kiss her. She gave me some mixed signals between asking me to kiss her neck and moving my hands away from her breasts and vagina. I put my hands on her boobs and crotch until she got up, ended the party and kicked us out. Shit still haunts me almost every day that i assaulted someone like that.
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>>22579999
I will never accomplish anything
I will never find a woman who wants to be with me
I will never have a family
I will fail my mother and brother
I will never actually have anything to my name
I will only just subsist in this stupid world
Jerking off at the computer after work
Waiting for everything to collapse while the world keeps spinning around me
Suicide is the cowardly way out, but damn it, continuation is just more humiliation
>>
My cat died yesterday. Was my best friend. Really helped me through some tough times. Since I'm very touch oriented and he was very cuddly and happy helped me calm down a lot. He's just gone. My only friend is just gone and I don't even know why. Felt so unnatural holding him touching him so cold and stiff. I could find anything wrong. I buried him next to the garden but I haven been able to get out of bed today. I don't want to. I hate being alone and now he's gone. And there's nothing I can do about it but just push through. It feels awful and I hate it. I want my friend back. I even keep hearing his meows every so often. I really want to open that door with him sitting there waiting for me. I'll never see him again.
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>>22580467
you didn't fucking assault anybody you read a woman and situation wrongly
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Fuck this chink virus, it got me on my worse moment, now i am stuck home thinking about my ex without a chance of meeting other girls.
I miss her so much, maybe after this shit is over we can try again, i still love you but you really need to get some mental stability.
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I'm such a uesless spaz sometimes.

I'm just tired of being asked for things the second I get up. I can't even see straight, and you're already trying to push me to do random bullshit for you. She asks me to go make her a fucking ice cream cone. Okay, fine. You're in pain, right? You can't get down stairs to do it yourself, right? So I go start making the cone. Ice cream isn't co-operating becaause it's too warm. Go and heat up the scoop to try again. Low and behold, who comes down? And to just fucking stare at me, no less like I'm taking too long. Like fuck you, guy. Got pissed, broke the cone, told her to go get a bowl if she wanted something. What a fucking retarded exchange. In a world filled with innumerable problems, here I am getting pissed scooping some fucking ice cream.

I just don't want to do this shit anymore.
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Damn there's this cute s korean girl thats my neighbor, we're attracted to each other but i know how east asians are.
Maybe I could get with her instead then move out. Im not afraid of courting, I just don't think I believe in unicorns :/ Idk i have 0 problems in believing in a kosher zeus but unicorns??? C'mon thats for little girls.
Anyway, yeah I'm leaning towards getting that overwith because a part of me doesn't believe it exists, so only time would tell.
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>>22580503
My friends have told me the same thing. Thanks for the reply anon.
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im a fucking idiot and now i pushed her away omg
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"It worries me when you start breaking and throwing things."

Gee, yeah. I wonder why the fuck you would be worried about that."Breaking things" is a bit fucking dramatic, don't you think? You usually break the cone yourself when trying to fucking scoop the ice cream anyways, you fucking drama queen. That's why you ask me to do this bullshit for you.

No fucking, "Sorry for telling you to immediately do something the second you wake up and ignoring the fact that you've told me well over 20 times that I shouldn't do that because it's fucking annoying."

Like is 10 fucking minutes so much to ask for. Some days I don't even get to take a piss first, just straight out of the fucking door. It's no wonder I never want to fucking sleep or wake up.

No, but it's me. I'm the spastic moron. It's not my own daily tasks were fucking difficult enough for me to begin with.
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>>22579999
Uhhhh I had to listen to a old middle aged man for a hour or so and I feel very numb. Please go back to being fictional not real bye
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Time to unleash all my pent-up willpower to better myself.
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I cant fall asleep again.
I havent really had a sober goodnight sleep since it happened and I hate it.
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>cute girl keeps popping up in my facebook recommended with 2 mutual friends
>she seems like an absolute angel
>tfw know it would be creepy to randomly add her or ask those mutuals to introduce us
FUCK
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>>22580608
What happened to you?
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wish i could forget you, it's coming up on more time than we even spent together. why didn't you like me
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I've been fucking things up big time all the time for being stupid and guys take advantage of it
Has been groped, raped, lied to, and anything you can imagine. i just want to start a new life somewhere but due to the pandemic, got nowhere and no one to turn to. I wanna die but part of me keeps reminding me I'm no quitter
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>>22580640
I'm an asshole
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You refuse to message me first. Do something about that please if you want to speak to me about anything
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Anyone else just want to walk into the woods, and never return?
Just like how an old dog will run away,
To find an old tree,
Curl up next to it,
And die
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>>22580684
I wish I physically could.
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I fucked up my neck and I don’t know what I did
>woke up completely fine
>bum around in morning
>went to Taco Bell drive thru
>during some exchange grabbing my drink, I had an intense pain in my neck
>so fucking painful I hung around the parking lot for 15 minutes
>I struggled driving home since I gotta look out for cars and such
>got home and struggled to eat
>thought lying down would help
>it took like 5 minutes for me to be able to lie down
>excruciating pain I can’t even move in bed
>doesn’t hurt when head is erect
>leaning it back 10 degrees is mild pain

I think I’m dying
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>>22580725
Sounds like a blood clot
Go to emergency room
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If I'm early 30's, have no friends and never so much as kissed a girl I am being reasonable to say I'm fucked and should just end it? I'm very worried by the future as I know it can only get worse and I barely cope now
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>>22580733
>I am being reasonable to say I'm fucked and should just end it
Does that sound reasonable to you?
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>>22580683
speak about what?
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>>22580740
i want to speak to someone who abandoned me
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>>22580737
It does but I'm not the most trustworthy person when it comes to evaluating my conclusions
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>>22580730
Obviously every online search for shit like this points to cancer or deadly diseases. I’ve been icing it most of day, depending on how I wake up I’ll see what my next move is
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>>22580747
it's not reasonable bud you are not "fucked" which implies nothing can change for you.
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>>22580804
I feel I am, I've tried joining communities for things and I have a job but I can't make friends. I always feel like I don't belong. I feel like all I do is "act", I don't feel like a real person
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I'm too busy passing time and deleting memories. I refuse to chase you, so if you have anything to say, you know where I am.
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>>22580683
I did, man.... once.

I understand that my thought process is flawed, and that the core belief that prevents me from messaging you is hypocritical.

All the same... You've been okay this long, haven't you?
Maybe the issue isn't that I haven't taken the initiative, but rather that I just never really commited myself to leaving. Maybe that has hurt you more.

I'm no good for anybody.
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>>22580846
>Maybe the issue isn't that I haven't taken the initiative, but rather that I just never really commited myself to leaving. Maybe that has hurt you more.
Sorry but this part is BS. Acknowledge that hypocrisy is illogical and send the message.
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Fucking boring man... All of it. These riots in American cities are interesting but it's all happening so slowly. When will all of the chaos in this shit hole of a world come to a head?

I want to see people in the streets screaming for their fucking loved ones because they judged me for screaming when I had none.
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>>22580864
Soon brother
Next year will be waaay worse
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>>22579999
egregious and Kelly
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I’m the kind of autist that didn’t realize people already having sex at my age. Before that, I thought people just focus on making money until I met my first gf. Strangely, her not being a virgin doesn’t disturb me that much. (She said she did with a boy she loved) However, it made me discover a new kind of hatred for women who have one night stand or threw away their virginity to stranger. To me, it’s like some kind of public telephones that anybody can use. I don’t know why I have immense amount of hatred for such women.
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>>22580501
I'm sorry for your loss
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I'm having an anxiety attack, and now waiting it out. Fuck I hate this.
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>>22580911
Do you feel the same way about men who have one night stands?
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Fuckfuckfuck
I'm sorry I will appreciate what I have just don't throw me away, i will stop wanting things
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>>22580944
Yes. I think men shouldn’t focus too much on sex and focus on their goal or find someone they love to have sex with. Then again, I’m an autist.
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>>22580931
When I have severe headaches or anxiety I usually drink til I pass out
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I get it, I don't need friends or to experience any of that social life stuff in movies and stuff. I just want them. I need you and if you want me to yourself I will dedicate myself to you and only you. FuckfuckFUCK sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You are enough, you are more than enough.
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That's cool and everything but I hope the grim reaper visits me in my fucking dreams
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>>22580852
How so?

It's not like anybody really needs anyone. If we're talking so far as my social value as an individual is concerned, then practically anybody would do in my place. I do think it's possible that continuing to entertain the notion that I, for some reason, should be specifically required may in fact in some capacity be preventing this person from moving on. At least in commiting myself to do anything, I would be solidifying a reality which could not be argued witth.

If I do contact them, then I should be able to commit myself to following it through, and ceasing to make this same mistake again. I don't know that I can do that right now. I believe that I require more solidarity in my identity before I can commit myself to that infallibly. Lesser would be required of me to simply step aside.

I don't want that, but I don't know how long it's going to take me to get over this. I want to be there for them if they need somebody... I just don't know if I can do it all the time as I am.
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>>22581041
You dodged completely the issue brought up by the last post.

Leave or stay. Do not stand at the door. Their process is their own and yours is yours.
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>>22581041
>I do think it's possible that continuing to entertain the notion that I, for some reason, should be specifically required may in fact in some capacity be preventing this person from moving on. At least in commiting myself to do anything, I would be solidifying a reality which could not be argued witth.
Well let's talk about that then. You are specifically requested perhaps you could say. Not required. If you died tomorrow it would be this person's burden to move on. If you ghost them it is equally their burden to bear.
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I definitely bit off more than I can chew...
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You know, I’m not completely infatuated with you. I never was. I can and will move on like I’ve done so before with others. But I just want to know why.
Why did you seem to give me false hope for something, anything. Why did you give me all the signs and even admit it a sort of way. Why did it seem to be like a switch was flipped.
If it was me then I can get that, even though thats so petty it hurts.
But if not, if its something else then I just want to know why. It hurts enough as it is, but your lack of clarity hurts more than I think you realize

I’m just so tired of this
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How the HECK will i find a boyfriend who is a christian yet my type and funny and chill and is okay with waiting till marriage with me???? im gonna die alone
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>>22581114
How old are you? Are your ovaries shriveling up yet?
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ryuuko_sigh.jpg
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>>22581120
about to turn 20. i admit it would be easy getting matches on dating apps and stuff but the chance of one of them accepting me and actually being christian or willing to change is teeny:(
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>>22581133
Does Christian denomination matter?
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>>22581133
Are you a catholic or are you one of those weird cult branches that are popular in the states?
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>>22581149
no cults here, just a relationship with God. I guess i would label myself a christian over a catholic but it doesnt matter too much what title i am
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>>22581148
Im not exactly sure what that’s asking but if i understand correctly I would not want to date a jehovahs witness or a mormon, thats not something i would be comfortable raising my kids as. just a simple christian is fine
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>>22581133
woah you really are 2 years younger than me
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>>22581189
are my described values something you or people you know would find undesirable?
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Despite being a conventionally masculine man, even taking turns with my dad swinging a sledge to break through a concrete foundation at age 9 and succeeding him as an athlete at the college level, I am prettier than most women.
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>>22581074
That's true.
I guess I don't really get a choice in the matter, it's not my decision to make.

I'll try to keep that in mind moving forwards. Thank you.
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>>22580976
i'd really like that. but anon, who are you?
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I could've been far far ahead of even where I imagined myself by now but I absolutely refuse to do anything in a sane manner. So everything is always way too hard for me and everything takes way too long. And you know what? I've already gone over this whole this before too. I'm just so so far gone it's just insane. I don't know what to do man.
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weird incest issues that have basically fucked my entire life up
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I've been talking to a girl who I've known for awhile. We had a date planned for this week and things were looking up, she seems to like me and I really like her.

Welp. Today she was involved in a severe ATV accident.
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>>22581314

She's not dead or an amputee by some miracle. She almost lost her arm (literally had to be reattached), because it was crushed/severed by the roll cage and had a bunch of skin ripped off by the friction of sliding across the ground. Thank god she's alive, but she will have permanent nerve damage, and I assume it will be a very long recovery period. Just fucking sucks man.
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The fact that she's probably going around telling everyone that I was a creep even though she treated me like shit and I defended myself really bothers me. I don't really know why.
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I left my wife a few days ago. I want to go for a walk. I want the night to speak to me.
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I can't erase that night from my mind, it truly was magical
and even though you literally treated me like shit, used me and dipped as soon as you were through with me, I still miss your touch, your warmth
I miss messing around, doing nothing in your apartment
I miss that one night I actually had the balls to kiss you, and how embarrassed you looked right before you kissed me back
I still think about your lips, and how I will never get to kiss them again
eventually someone will replace you, but for now, I'll think of us and what we could've been, had you not ditched me
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My girlfriend just keeps getting fatter and grosser and keeps expecting me to have sex with her. I can do and have done way better and now when I don't want to fuck her she tries to start fights with me which I just sort of laugh off because if I dole out the truth she'll probably kill herself, but eventually this is going to come to a head. I have way too much self respect to fuck a fat chick that doesn't take care of herself but still thinks she's entitled to sex and she just keeps getting worse.
>>
I like to watch Jaiden animations not because I really have a strong opinion about the video content, but because I like to fantasize about being or being in a relationship with an idealized version of Jaiden in some bizarre fantasy world.
Since I'm not getting laid anyway, I'm thinking I might as well try to fully immerse myself in this fantasy with a fictionalized and perfrctt version of Jaiden. Like, even if she has or gets a boyfriend IRL, I will ignore all that.
I think this is all that will work, since dumb cookie cutter anime characters don't work for me.
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Whenever I talk to you, I can only think you're disappointed in me. I'll get to where you are. It'll just take a bit longer.
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>>22579999
it took me 25 years to bring up my abuse as a child, I now feel awful because of it.
>You brought chaos to this family
>I'm the father of a molested daughter now, great.
>You should of brought it up sooner, we can't do anything about it now.
>...IF you're telling the truth.
I just wanted to see a therapist because of it, I know it's been years, but it's been the root of my problems for so long... I just wanted to be a better and healthier person.
>>
Disclaimer, I have a plan to move out but I just want to get this off my chest. For a little background, I'm 19, studying HVAC, and am going to get an associates degree in it. Once I get a job in my field I want to move out asap. I'm looking at about another year of school and hopefully, half way through that year, I can start working in my field. I'm just absolutely dreading the next 6 months I have to endure, especially with the corona locking us in. My need for privacy feels unhealthy but I want it so badly. I don't know why, but I hate not being able to do simple everyday tasks without my parents somehow being involved/there. I'm sick of the radio / news channel constantly creating background noise. Since I was a kid, all my leisure time was spent on the family computer so I've never experienced the privacy of having my own room. I see moving out as an opportunity to get the privacy I've always wanted but my goal just feels farther away the more I want it.
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I sure wish I could get along with my ex but we always argue about something and nothing I say is good enough for her. She wants to treat me like a child. Why do I even fucking try man.
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>>22581594
I hope you can move far away from home because living with your family under these circumstances is even worse for you.
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I don't belong, I never did and I never will.
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Are people too severe? Or am I too weak?
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>>22581619
I've sadly been trying... But mixed with past trauma and my recent abusive relationship with my ex and how controlling my family has been... It's been very hard to even find a place to consider home.
I'm actually really scared..
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Just got home from work pretty late. Almost 2. Raining decently but have a canopy up from a few weeks ago so just chilling outside smoking cigarettes and thinking. Feeling rather melancholy about a lot of things right now. Sorry to those who I hurt. And R I forgive you but just stay away please if you have no intent of changing. I'm doing better now.
>>
There is this guy that comments on 4chan randomly about me and I haven't dated in over 7 years. He will post about "Anon Lastname from City, State" on threads about girls he THINKS sound like me or will post in threads randomly with that info and say mean things about me with a face pic of me from YEARS ago (I have no public social media so there is no way for any strangers to get new pics of me). The thing is that I haven't ever wronged enough for them to be like that to me. My ex before my boyfriend is the one that dumped me! The ex before that cheated on me and I dumped him! The ex before that was from fucking highschool! So I don't get who is doing this! IT'S CREEPY
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it's been good, anons. but i'm on a real mission now. this place cannot be part of any of it anymore. peace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuslUzbJEaw
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>>22579999

Is there room for positivity?

Im unemployed in this pandemic
Im making more than what I made before while still being able to raise my daughter
Im able to invest the remainder of my time into cooking writing drawing and my other hobbies
Were expecting another child soon and Ive never been happier. I am complete

I know everyone is going through some tough times and is dealing with some pretty chaotic shit now. Im posting this in the hopes that if someone sees this and perseveres then they may also find their true happiness.
>>
Awww man I'm a fucking idiot. Idk wtf is wrong with me... Well, I'm glad that I know that now.
>>
>>22580467
Every time I read something like this I get so fucking terrified. I was talking about this earlier. I'm never going to just have a one night stand with someone who could fuck me like a whore then claim regret rape/false alligations and ruin my life. I'll just wait for a good christian conservative girl and abstain until marriage.
>>
I hate being around people that dont agree with me on almost everything. I limit how much I hang out with people, because Id rather be at home on the internet or something but when I do that long enough I miss being around others for the simple fact that life just seems so pointless a lot of times otherwise.

I feel like I may end up dead in middle-age thanks to constant stress and worry that I don't voice to anyone not even the one who is closest to me. I question if that person is loyal to me all the time, even though the evidence against it is slim and probably just coincidental. Sometimes I wish all life on earth would end, because I dont want my own life to end while everyone else deals with the fallout.
>>
I honestly think Dad is a sociopath, socially stupid or maybe just not that smart. Dad doesn't seem to take care of Mom like he should.

At the same time I think Mom has just given up. She refuses to lose weight and seems to want to be dead. She has been abused a lot over her life.
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>>22581732
As if you would ever get into the situation lol
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I know you’d say yes if I said anything. I’d try to fuck your brains out and let you fuck me into oblivion. I want to pity fuck you so badly after four years but my hands are tied.
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We went to this suburban camping area to celebrate my niece’s bd. I wish I showed it to you, it feels pretty fancy here.
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I like this guy but I'm fat and I hate myself
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>>22579999
i can't gtfo from pol board
>>
Now I know why your ex girlfriends constantly threatened suicide. You drove them crazy.
You asked me to marry me, you take me for granted, you emotionally abuse me.
I used to have self respect until I came here.
You deserved all the shit you self pity over.
You deserve worse.
You have not been through anything serious enough to warrant your bullshit.
>>
I am tired
I am staving off ambushers (mentally parasitic)
They will be upon me instantly upon drowsiness
I hate those fuckers...
>>
I regret being scared of taking the initiative in high school to make friends because I never really got the typical high school socialization down and it's showing in my social interactions.
>>
I can't wait for it to start getting cold. I used to hate the cold and winter and all that stuff but over the past like 3ish years I put myself through stuff I normally wouldn't and I bundled up and I forced myself to catch the bus in the freezing cold and stuff like that and now that it's summer I just don't know what to do. I just stay inside all day.
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It feels so good getting drunk once in a while. All the problems and self hatred feels less significant.
>>
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i want a friend to encourage me to be a better person
however i'm jealous and very picky, i don't want that friend to have a lot of friends, in fact i want him to be a loser
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I need my sister
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How am I supposed to exist without big sis? How is life even even worth it without big sister to give great big hugs until the end of days?
>>
aaaaaaaaaaaaa im a braindead retard
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one more day. fuck you jose you cocksucking son of a bitch.
>>
How long can you miss someone who's ignoring you before you start to become really angry instead of really sad? The answer is: not soon enough.
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>>22580501
F
heart goes out to you anon
>>
>>22580503
>>22580467
seriously this
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>>22582024
damn i've been thinkin about that one all day it's so sad. if you're still reading this you should get another cat when you're ready
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>>22581873
So what are you doing about it?
>>
I hate you for.making me quit my job, telling me you would support me and make all of my dreams come true, I hate myself for believing you, I hate you for influencing my decision to give up my independence and financial stability, I hate myself for agreeing to do it for you, I hate you for promising to love me but cheating on me instead, I hate you for promising to turn yourself around once I was pregnant and finally delete tinder and give me your all, I hate you for lying about that, I hate you for not helping me take care of our infant daughter at all and not helping to raise her in any capacity, I hate that you think your billfold is the way you show love and being a great father, I had my own billfold but because I fell for your manipulation, I am dependent on you to care for myself and my daughter and I hate you for it. But most of all, I hate myself.
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>>22581239
It isn't for u dumdum
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I'm losing my mind
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>>22582098
Ooh ooh! Is it for me? :D
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I may be stupid.
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I want to go back to a jio phone, can't take my hands of this devilish square.
it's fucking with my mind and serves no purpose but distraction
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>>22579999
I think I actually love you for real.
I regret fucking things up and if I could I’d rewind time and do things right.
Bye bro I hope you don’t remember me as just some douchebag but rather as someone who just didn’t know what he was doing at all.
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>>22581210
The pope and his boys kinda made us slap cheeks.
>>
>be guitarist
>just fell in love with a spanish woman who plays classical guitar on youtube
>writes her own fingerings and confidently changed the basses in a bach piece because she thought it was more accurate
>played it beautifully
FUCK
>>
>>22582185
My love for my close ones never dies regardless of how fucked things get.
>>
>>22579999
I fucked a married woman and I am questioning if I am still a good guy after doing something like that.
>>
>>22579999
>Hot&cold with this girl for months
>long nights chatting into quiet periods
>she stays distant but still drunk messages me sounding really wanting - leads into nothing as usual
>goes on like some sin-wave but nothing serious never developes out of it
>last night a mutual friend gets her to the same bar
>she's not feeling it and she decides to go home
>go for a quick friendly hug as I do for pretty much everyone else
>she's resistant says no few time. Don't think about and just go for it
>get a message today morning from her that she doesn't wan't anything to do with me anymore and that I crossed a line there last night.
Well I'm glad that path has come to an end but at what cost? I get her point but she didn't exactly never avoid physical contact before and even to initiate it often enough.I still feel shitty about it.
>>
I gotta chill out before I hurt myself
>>
>>22581211
Post pics qt
>>
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>tfw my ex-fiancee who ghosted me at the beginning of 2017 appeared out of nowhere yesterday to wish me a happy birthday

It was nice to hear from her.
>>
>>22582380
Don't get attached. Ghosting faggots only message you when they feel guilty and think they're better than you.
>>
it's not over i still love you
>>
>>22582397
fuck you,
tell me or your actions are nothing to me
>>
>>22582288
If it happened exactly how you described then she overreacted pretty badly. Also you should be glad that it’s over really I had a hot/cold thing with this one girl for 5 fucking years all throughout highschool and the years after that and goddamn it fucked my shit up good. If it doesn’t work the first or the second time you try then you should absolutely drop it as you’re only abusing each other at that point.
>>
you better give me some dope in your fancy limo babey
>>
>>22582483
sorry to break the larp but my person knows and doesn't care.
>>
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>>22581114
Don't settle anon. Keep to your values. It's worth waiting. A family friend didn't lose his virginity until he got married at 30. He's been happily married for over a decade now.
>>
I have and I always will love you. I'm sorry that I snapped at you more than once. I have to live with my actions and I will live with regrets for the rest of my life. I hope you will find peace and solace in life and learn to live with yourself and please don't give up on yourself even though it is hard for you to live with your illness. You can be such a wonderful woman to be with and I hope you won't ever lose that side of you. Please don't let my ill actions haunt you forever.
>>
I want to feel how it feels to kiss you again
You were always good at it
I'm only ignoring you because I'm scared of coming across as boring and don't know what to say
I'm sure none of this matters to you though
>>
I want to talk with you more but i have to keep my distance.
Despite you being in a spot best to cherish the love and affection I want to give you but thats not my job. Rocking your boat is a selfish action and I care too much to harm you.
I love you, take care.
>>
>>22579999
I mentioned how I got you deported to my mother.
She was surprised I'd do that, but felt the action was fair since it was completely within the letter of the law and you had gone along with misuse of the rules to make my life difficult.

If you have to rely on your friends begging me to not retaliate against you, maybe your actions are more hurtful than you thought. Idiot.

Enjoy being back in Brazil. I'm sure you'll be back in the swing of things, after six years in my country on two different visas.
>>
>>22582568
You can't pretend to think this any longer, I know you are driving yourself crazy.
>>
>>22582580
So many factors are against us from your end. I can't think at all like this. Thinking of you is agony because I want you but I've put my effort. I'll wait for the response.
>>
I don't know how to approach women without creaping them out. F
>>
am I happy by myself or am I just coping? I won't know anymore
It's better than being miserable over your not talking to me anyway, now that I'm the one ignoring you
You're not the only one who can disappear on others N
>>
>>22582548
You matter so much more to me than you cohld possibly imagine and I know you have no idea.
Someday you will
>>
I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't grown up online. Especially being on this site when I was younger, that really fucked up my trust and how I interact with and think about people. At this point I've at least just accepted that I'm weird, but I haven't been able to get over how lonely I've been for a while now. I had been doing better recently too is the worst part, but I guess my depression really is back.
>>
I want to break up with my girlfriend. Because some circumstances I have the opportunity now but I fell like I will chicken out and not do it really. I dont know what to do
>>
the circumstances I was born in make me want to kill myself.
I could've been better to my family if I was a better person to begin with. But I'm not, I like to be alone and I get shouted at for it, I know I should've been there but something in my brain is genuinely fucked and I lack the will to do anything or go anywhere.
I'm too much of a coward to kill myself and that makes me hate myself even more
>>
I'm a shit person, I know, but I wish you would stop having any expectations from me altogether
I'm envious of people who are close to their families and dedicate so much of their own time to them
>>
I have no friends since I've abandoned them all because I'm afraid of hurting them and I'm too scared of letting them know the real me because I'm afraid they'll abandon or hurt me like others earlier my life. It's ironic since I do end up hurting them even if I abandon them - which kills my self esteem. And those I find who seem on the surface level would be close to me end up very far in relation from me. I constantly feel like I have no one to connect with nor will ever find someone that I can. I only come on 4chan to feel less lonely.

I had a good paying job several years ago, but I abandoned my career because I had no passion for it despite being considered competent in my field. Fundamentally, I was always a person who cannot pursue goals unless I were passionate for it. Everything I've ever accomplished were just manifestations of my will to pursue my dreams. It was enough to help me get a job that I didn't love, but not enough to stay in it for long. So it doesn't make sense for me to pursue careers or jobs that I had no love for even if it may make me financially more stable.

Sometimes I run away from things, but I'm not sure if it's because I'm a coward or if I'm trying to move on to something better. I make music with my guitar but it feels like I've hit a wall in my creativity that is hard for me to conquer. I wish to make a game to put myself out in the world, so I started to learn how to draw. I hope through that work I can someday make real friends and connections with people by sharing it with the world since it'll be a passion project. Though a part of me is afraid I'm wasting my youth on this by not pursuing more secure things or doing things that normal people do like going to college. I'm scared of failing to achieve my goal of making friends with my work.

I'm not sure if my mindset in all these things is healthy or not. I hope someone can give me a sanity check since my therapist has been absolutely useless in offering insight in all of it.
>>
maybe I really do need to seek therapy
you know I lost my empathy and any semblance of being normal when dad died
>>
you deserve a better daughter and she deserves a better grandchild and what I deserve, really, is to stop existing. The rest of our bloodline may not disappoint you and even show some promise but you absolutely need to see that I'm a lost cause.
>>
>>22582568
https://youtu.be/FfBwsG8ubFw
>>
APATHY WILL KILL YOU INTERNALLY
REFLECT BEFORE YOU END UP EMOTIONALLY PARALYZED LIKE ME
IT'S NOT A LIFE WORTH LIVING AT THAT POINT
>>
>be me
>take 12 years to get undergrad degree
>no student loans thank god but no savings and owe parents for a lot of it
>Constant feelings of shame for being such a bad son
How does one fuck up this badly? Why did no one just take me out back and shoot me? I wasn't made for this world.
>>
i've changed a bit. Life was miserable most of my teens. Now something changed. For the first time i feel loved by someone. That however doesn't nullify horrible shit i've done up until that point. I am just an disgusting disgusting "human" being. No matter how much others care about me i just feel that absolutely no one gives shit about me (which would honestly be better, i would finally be at peace with dying young). Right now i shall live life on my own terms and see how many mistakes come out of it. See ya.
>>
>>22582579
That's harsh. What did they do to you?
>>
whatever happens, i will never abandon my parents.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqFWMLJ01kY
Bros I think I've become one of those pathetic people who has fallen in love with a musician. Oh well nothing about me has really changed over the years
>>
I feel like my shoulders are getting narrower even though I'm working them out more than usual. I hate the way I look now, and I feel like with age, despite taking action to avoid it and improve on my looks, I get disfigured regardless and no amount of exercise can help it... I just can't keep up with it
>>

I (22, M) have just started seeing a girl (19, F), but in the bedroom I’ve noticed she kind of just starfishes. She’s had sex before but has never had an orgasm in her life and doesn’t seem to know what she likes, how do I help her?
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBDFAgJ2TSU
mmmmm
>>
FUCK I WANT TO ASK YOU TO HANG OUT TODAY
>>
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I have a political commentary YouTube channel with almost 10k subscribers. Recently someone claiming to be a 14 year old girl has been falsely accusing me of rape on Twitter and on my videos' comment sections. A few people have unsubscribed. She has elaborated on her lie, describing how it started and how it happened. She says that I fucked her with my penis. That's literally impossible as I don't have a penis. I'm wondering about outing myself as trans (FtM) with proof such as top surgery scars and my medication, but then again, that would alienate my conservative & nationalist audience. I've even made videos arguing against transgenderism and the like.

I don't know - is it worth outing myself to get away from false rape accusations, or should I just wait it out?
>>
I just want a mommy-girlfriend
>>
>>22583243
No. Today is the day I sleep.
>>
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Hey, about those expensive, irreplaceable handmade goods you ordered.
Hypothetically speaking, how would you react if we told you we lost them?
>>
>>22581133
I'm Christian. Drop your discord. I just want a mommy-girlfriend
>>
SOMETIMES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS IT AS GOOD, UNDERSTAND
>>
>>22583290
UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND
THE CONCEPT OF LOVE
HUH!
>>
>>22583290
those are song lyrics anon
kek
>>
>>22583243
Sorry but you were too late. I lost patience.
>>
>>22583301
meant to reply to >>22583296 i'm a retard
>>
I'm taking applications for a mommy-girlfriend
>>
god I hate eating
I'm sitting over here having to choke this shit down one bite at a time
it's taking forever
food is fucking disgusting
I'm going to start buying onions
>>
>>22583464
s o y l e n t
not onions you catplanet cakefart
>>
I burned your shit for a spell, btw.
It was mostly tattered anyway, which was good for intentions.
>>
>>22583495
Shut up bitch
>>
>>22583495
What is the purpose of your spell?
>>
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>>22583520
A magician never reveals their secrets.
>>22583505
(pic)
>>
I just want to be alone, can't deal with people anymore.
>>
>>22579999
I like studying engineering. The work is challenging and rewarding and super interesting. I get to learn and make stuff. That's all I want really.

But good god do I hate the other students. Not all of them, but something like 60% of the class, it's like you tried to fill a room with those kids who would sit in the back of the room and try to correct the teacher. I'm nervous about what my career is gonna look like if I have to share it with people who are like this.

The good news is that hopefully in two years if I play my cards right I can leave America. Fuck this idiot country. I just have to find somewhere that better fits my beliefs. Pro-union, pro-healthcare, pro-public education, demilitarizing the police, no private prisons, etc. I feel like it's going to be a lot harder with me being America but it's do-or-die at this point. The writing was on the wall way before Trump. I'm just sorry to leave. America's beautiful, and we do a lot of stuff well. It's like you made a perfectly good sandwich and filled it with shit. Like yeah okay 'eat around the shit' fuck that I don't want to eat a shit sandwich.
>>
>>22583535
Obey me because I'm real life i could make you shut your mouth.
>>
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1.5 hours later and I'm finally done eating two breakfast burritos
thank god it's over
>>
Whats even left to say
When you feel nothing inside
And all you know is pain
>>
>>22583535
Hey whore
>>
You don't say anything.
You act.
>>
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I don't want to fucking play games you bozo I have a life to live during the day I can't drop what I'm doing every fucking time in the middle of the day to play fucking pirated Steam games or CSGO it's 12pm, you live in Bumfuck Middle East where it's like 8pm. Why does the concept of people doing things during the day not occur to you. Holy shit. You have your other middle eastern friends to play games with. I'm never making online friends with these kind of people again. Annoying gamers and people who ignore timezones are the worst, especially combined.
>>
What am I doing all this for? for me? it doesn't make my life more worthwhile, and no amount of effort I put in can make up for lack of opportunity, in this case it's not "you get what you put in", I put in all I got but there's just nobody here and I can't do it alone, it doesn't work like that. Then what am I doing this for? to find love? I don't think that's gonna happen, every time it does it's with a catch and never goes anywhere. I'll just end up being alone and putting in effort for things that never work out time and time again because of the lack of opportunity. And I can't move countries, there is nothing stable there, no guarantee that I won't just find myself in the same situation, just elsewhere without anything because I left everything behind. Then what am I doing all this for?
>>
I'm in a limbo. Have been for months. I want out.

I got a scholarship for a degree abroad, scheduled for October. Then came covid and the entry ban. I'll be without a job in eight weeks in my home country and my savings will last me three months tops. Ministries and embassies all leave me on read. I'm afraid of my future and the clock is ticking.

I want off this ride.
>>
One thing I’ve learned this year is that a lot of people don’t like me when I actually have something to say. Everybody in my life only cared about me when I was a yes man. That’s super lonely and I’m very depressed.
>>
>>22583753
Action speaks louder than words.
>>
I mean who gives a shit?
>>
>>22583659
You do see the irony in begging me and then trying to threaten me, right?
>>
Whether I say anything or don't, ya know?
You just want somebody you can take for granted and that kind of shit is not going to fly, sorry
>>
Done with you making lies about me. Talking about me behind my back. I know you have some sort of infatuation with me. You tried to control me and others making you their pets for years. Fuck off now go ruin someone else’s life.
>>
>>22582506
Lol
>>
Whatever my guy. Coming to the realization that I am, in fact, pretty based and do not need your validation for it either
>>
Don’t take summer for granted. Not the moon, sky, or the stars. It could all be taken away in a blink. Make memories you can look back on and smile. Everything will be alright anons
>>
I know it wasn't your fault, but I already felt like I hadn't had any time to myself and in the end I went 7 days without it thanks to you.

There's no way I'm seeing you Tuesday, I need some days alone. Multiple days. Last week drained me already and what happened yesterday was just way too much. And I never intended for today to end up being written off, either.
>>
>>22583895
As if you don't do the same shit. I make mistakes but that's only because I saw through you and retaliated. I am tired of fighting for nothing. Find happiness from someone else. I'll find someone I can be happy with.
>>
>>22580487
So do the opposite
>>
>>22583907
Good for you anon enjoy talking crap about your “friends”
>>
>>22580501
Hang out with family and friends make sure to be around people. Vent.
Get drunk. Really drunk.
Helped me when my dog died.
>>
>>22583924
>"friends"
Person I was talking about is nowhere close to that, what the fuck are you saying anon?
>>
>>22583919
I’m not your guy anon sorry
>>
>>22583253
Tell the truth. Being anti-trans as a >trans fig is a very good platform unironically
>>
Leaving you was ultimately the best decision I could have made. It hurt, but it put so many things in perspective, and I wound up doing more for my career in the middle of fucking lockdown than I have in the past 6 years. My gym time has been refocused and I'm getting in the best shape of my life. I even quit porn because all it did was remind me of the things we used to do.
My life is going great. But I can't help but think it's all just cope as I'm facing long term loneliness. I don't want you back at all, and I frankly don't give a shit about how you're doing. But it looks like I'm going to be like that faggot Gatsby.
>>
>>22580510
It's not the ice cream your angry with.
>>
>>22583857
They speak for themselves.
I'm doing my part.
>>
It may be one big never-ending cope but you can find purpose in living if you introspect and be creative enough
>>
I turn 27 this month and my room is full of skateboards, guitars, psychedelic tapestries and teenager shit.

My friends are getting married, buying houses, starting to have kids, and posting in group chats about stocks, buying gold and investments.

Fuck all of that shit. I'm still such a teenager, but I literally don't care. I just want to have fun, go to gigs, go hiking, climbing, mountain biking and play guitar all day. I could give less of a shit about accumulating wealth, and even though I finished my degree last year I've put absolutely zero effort into finding a new job.

Fuck it.
>>
>>22580564
Bro just quit your job at the ice cream store. It's not a real job anyway that's a girl job
>>
>>22583879
How did I beg you?
>>
>>22580756
Blood clot. Go now.
>>
Why the fuck are you always online!!! I'm scared and I will not talk because this way I feel like I'm being put on the spot
>>
>>22581164
It actually does matter.
Do you believe in Jesus Christ our Lord and savior who died on the cross and shed his blood?
>>
I really am pretty amazing. I've been through things where people give up and lose all hope. I've pushed through debilitating mental illness, abusive relationships, academic semesters where I've failed every single class, my own sister almost dying of cancer. Yet here I am. Succeeding, flourishing, excited for the future. I've avoided becoming jaded; I still love my fellow man. I learn new things everyday.
Nothing will stop me from accomplishing my dreams.
>>
>>22583990
Based bloomer good for you
>>
I could be there tomorrow
>>
>>22583919
Well at least they know now
>>
>>22582871
They were the lynchpin in a sexual harassment allegation against me. I ultimately "won" but it was stressful. They, and the others that conspired against me, suffered no repercussions from the company.

So I got one of them deported and am working on getting the others removed in other ways.
>>
>>22583990
what a great feeling right?
to be like a living metal tempered in hellfire and for your spirit to be on fire
>>
I want to know what the fuck happened to me a couple years ago. I was fucking injected with tranquilizers when I was passed out drunk. That Russian kid who moved in offered me a muscle relaxer and I took it and went to sleep because I had work the next morning. I woke up and my mouth tasted like shit. I felt calm the next morning when I should have been hung over. The back of my head, neck, and shoulders hurt like I had fell or been slammed. I had a little what looked like a needle mark on my left arm. I pointed out the mark to my boss in the truck and mentioned how my head, neck and shoulders were sore, and he said "how's your ass" i felt kind of surprised by that response from him but I just have been injected with a benzos or tranquilizer, so I didn't respond properly, and I didn't even feel hung over. I was binge drinking every night at that time.

Even after i moved out of that condo, i noticed after I started taking kratom again, my shit had a line of blood on the side of it. What the fuck happened to me. Because I was also gang stalked and fucking harassed for a while after this happened.

I did nothing wrong to my exgf that was unwarranted, she was a narcissistic cunt that intentionally caused me as much mental distress as she could and when I eventually started getting mad about it, she'd egg me on to attempt to make me more angry. She took care of me financially, and abused the fuck out of me the whole time. Two years of abuse and eventually I started snapping out. I think she also cheated,, probably. Of course i started acting crazy, that's completely reasonable.

People on here know about me and what happened. I thought the shot was to sterilize me, but someone im adv on gioyc said I was given a tranquilizer to fuck me in the ass.

I'm sure there's a video of me being raped. It might not have looked like a rape because I was drugged with something strong and didn't know what I was doing or what was going on. Someone fucking show me.
>>
>>22584075
What are you going to do if your bullshit turns out to be actually true? Will you kill?
>>
>>22584075
It was a girl who will break the rules. She did it
>>
>>22584075
If this is weighing you down this much you have to talk to a therapist dude. Having that in the back of your mind for a long time isn't healthy.
>>
>>22584093
Probably, and I'll kill myself afterwards. I think about killing myself on a daily basis. But I'm not going until I hurt that bitch. I've threatened her a lot. I threatened her before I even left that town and she never did anything about it. The time I was in here talking about it, and realized I was likely drug and raped, and I texted my ex asking if she drugged and raped me or had me raped, she blocked me for the first time for an hour. She also had some guy call me and tell me to stop texting his wife, and it was some strange number that said it's origin was in Russia.

Honestly if it wasn't that bad, I might just let it go and not do anything.
>>
>>22583884
I'm not trying to take anybody for granite.
You do what you want, and I'll just regret not doing what I want. It'll be fine.
>>
deserve I to kill her
>>
>>22584123
She might be my exgf. It's entirely possible. But I just want answers to what happened to me, who did it, and if there's a recording I want to see all of it. If I take my life that's my choice. I have a right to know what happened to me.

I've never sexually assaulted or raped anyone. I would never do something like that, I'm not the kind of man. I treated that woman with love and respect, and I was very affectionate to her, I was loyal to her and I loved her. Im a good guy. I'm gentle with the women im with, and I'm good in bed. I'm handsome and intelligent.
>>
>>22580725
Did you turn your head too suddenly at some point? Cause then it sounds like a pinched nerve to me, just rest as much as you can and don’t strain it or it will get worse,, it should fix itself
>>
I want to kill myself
>>
>>22583974
Ahahaha. AHAH HAH HAH.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Always awake. Always watching. Always present. Always ready to reply immediately with loaded questions.

What's wrong, Anon? Don't want to talk to your friend? Me oh my, you do know that such relationships are a two way street, don't you? My poor feelings, shattered! If only somebody cared!
>>
>>22584166
That's what I thought too. For that to happen you had to do something to stress nerves or ligaments. The anon should know this if that's what happened.
>>
>>22584178
>Always ready to reply immediately with loaded questions.
Nice try, dummy. He never does this so you can quit larping now.
>>
>>22584138
How is a therapist going to help me when I'm hell bent on getting the truth and i will not let this go until i get it. It's been two years since it happened. But I promise you that if I don't get the answers I seek, and i finally make the decision to end my life, I'm going to fucking hurt my exgf and make her suffer immensely, and let her live. I'll probably fuck her vagina up with a knife, definitely cut off her clit, i will leave her disfigured, and then I'll kill myself in front of her. She will have to live with that.

I showed that woman so much love and affection, i completely opened myself up to her and made a strong bond, i thought it was a strong bond anyways, and she fucking emotionally abused me, drove me right into my addiction, so yes I was basically an addict and made mistakes, but it only got bad because I was with her.

The last month she wouldn't talk to me unless she was was being a bitch trying to upset me and egg it on. Just her refusing to even adknoweldge me really hurt, I had to be high or drunk to be around her because it was very painful because I was so used to being close to her, having sex with her, being affectionate with her. Once I moved out i quit all drugs and quit smoking cigarettes within a month. I literally became physically healthier once she was out of my life. She was toxic, cold hearted abd hateful. But she was like the 9th woman I've been with and I form strong bonds with women im in a relationship with, which made me very vulnerable to her.
>>
>>22583895
You're done.

But I'm not. Hehe
>>
I just feel upset and I don’t yet understand why
>>
>>22583912
Gay
>>
If what happened to me wasn't that bad then why won't anyone just tell me? I don't understand. What's the problem if it's not wrong?
>>
I deser ve to kill he r
>>
You're also a weak little bitch, don't forget that. Alright I'll offer some advice because I have nothing better to do. Go get a rent-a-hacker to crack everything related to her and any of her associates, find the suspected file which you could potentially be blackmailed with, and don't ever post publicly about this again because you might have to act on it.
>>
>>22584201
This is why you have to talk to someone. You decided the only ways to go is suicide or vengeance. Neither will solve your issue because the damage is done. Get help dude.
>>
>>22580045
Run for your life - The Beatles
Your looking at this the wrong way friend
>>
>>22584225
Go pray
>>
>>22584141
I saw the video. You weren't raped. You kept saying "I want it. I want it"
>>
>>22584171
That’s not good are you okay?
>>
>>22584220
I just told you you stupid faggit
>>
>>22584229
Nothing will change until I get the truth. I'll tell the therapist the same thing, nothing matters except for me getting the truth. I'm not going to change from this mindset, it's impossible for anyone to convince me otherwise. If that bitch did something to me I want to know. If someone else did something to me, I want to know.
>>
Don't have 500€ for the hack? Weak. Can't find a service? Weak and stupid. Want to cry about it some more instead? Weak.

Not willing to do what it takes?
>>
>>22584225
Bring it anon let’s have a double knife fight
>>
>>22584236
No you didn't and no i didn't say that. Whatever happened I was drugged and had no idea what was going on. I know this is 4chan but it's not fucking funny for you to larp about this.

Of you seriously know what happened tell me everything. Maybe even send your discord and share anything you might have.
>>
>>22584244
Where did you tell me. No one told me anything. Everyone just denies it and tells me I'm being paranoid and that I'm crazy.
>>
vgjbhjlk;lp;'lkjnbvf
>>
If you're to afraid to show me whatever videos or pictures there might be post it on /b. But look anyone that gives me the truth and answers, I'm not going to be mad at you, even if I was what would it matter. Please give me the truth.

Why are you people afraid of me knowing and seeing what happened to me? Why do you care?
>>
shut the fuck up already
>>
>>22584282
>and tells me I'm being paranoid and that I'm crazy.
Because you are. It is sad the mentally ill like you will never understand this however. To you you are sane, but only you think you are sane while everyone else does not. It is more logical to conclude you are insane rather than every single person speaking of you to be wrong about you. It is sad and pathetic.
>>
I'll always want to kill her. She deserves to be mutilated until she is unrecognizable
>>
don't reply, ignore him
>>
>>22582489
I've had a feeling this whole thing was on it's deaththroes for some while anyway and last night was the final push. I was hoping we'd stay as friends even though I have had already buried any romantic interests. In the long run I'm sure this was for the best for me.
>>
>>22584348
No i was drugged and raped. I know it. O was then gangstalked and made fun of for being fucking raped.

I didn't consent or even know to what happened. I even remember it because I ea fucking drugged. I would never do that to someone in a million years so why is it ok it happened to me?

This shit makes me think about killing myself on a daily basis
>>
women deserve to be tortured. She will die slowly and painfully
>>
>>22584267
kashootie
uhoh stinky
>>
>>22584321
>>22584368
Don't listen to this person. They probably know about it or even did it to me. I have a right to know what happened to me. How many times it happened. It was fucking done to me. I didn't agree or want it. If I wanted whatever happened, you wouldn't have had to drug me.

Now please someone be a decent person and do the right thing by telling me. I've sat here and explained myself, what I really believe, how i look at things and you can see that I'm not a bad person at all.

A lot of what I said online I said when I had a feeling someone was spying on me and ha hacked my stuff, and I had an idea of why they did it, so I wanted to Piss them off for doing it.
>>
And what the fuck are you smiling about, dumb bitch? I like how your face turned into a frown when I didn't smile back. You better be afraid. If you disrespect me like that, I'll get you back 10x worse.
>>
People on here know who I am and what happened and probably have it saved on their phone or computer. You think you're protecting her by refusing to tell and show me. I'm not going to do anything to her if you show me and tell me.

I'm never going to let this go until i find out. I'm likely going to end my life of someone doesn't tell me. If you think I deserve a good life, leave and happiness then give me what I want. It's been two years and I'm still asking for it. No one can help me and nothing will get better until I get the answers I seek.

Why not just give it to me so I can find peace and move on. You're not protecting me or her. You're making it worse and harder for me by denying me the truth. I've tried going to rehabs, aa meetings, and absolutely nothing came close to remotely helping me and nothing will unless I get the truth.

If you think it wasn't that bad that by all means just tell me and show me. I don't understand why you'd still refuse to tell me what happened.
>>
>>22584405
that was me talking to you to trying to get you to shut up for your own good and to follow my fucking advice
meaning to not take the bait

but it turns out you're just a schizo after all (in addition to being retarded)
>>
how many people actually get a job in the area they studied for after finishing their course? seems like half of the people quit and the rest either stay and get a job or stay but don't really like what they studied for
>>
>>22584399
You deserved every sickness you ever had
>>
>>22584399
Go crush on someone else weirdo.
>>
>>22584445
What happened to me. Someone please just explain in detail.

If you don't want to tell me who it was fine. But I'd rather know.
>>
>>22584479
chase the bug.
destiny awaits.
>>
>>22584165
I don't know of anybody with a story like that. I am talking to my ex. But if he told me that girl raped him, I'd make sure she was never seen of again and her kids had college funds if they survive the system.
>>
>>22584479
that wasn't me
>>22584491
im the shoe in this case retard. squish
>>
>>22584393
Ψ( `▽´ )Ψ
>>
>>22584494
Something happened to me. I was living in hallandale Beach renting a room in a condo from this old Russian alcoholic. I had just moved out of my exgfs. I quit kratom, which was extremely difficult, i quit smoking, I was happy to be away from my exgf, i didn't even have a new girl and I felt content.

A few weeks after I moved in, the old Russian man told me that a 20 something Russian kid is moving in, a friend of his, for a little bit and will pay rent and sleep on the couch. After I got sober the old Russian man offered me some free vodka, every night I came home he'd offer me alcohol, so I started binge drinking.

One night the Russian kid offered me a muscle relaxer, said it goes good with alcohol. I took it. I now realize he seemed nervous around me. I went drank more layed down, got up and asked him for another pill, I remember seeing he had a syringe, the glass and stainless steel kind, and I didn't think anything of it. I was drunk and sedated.

I woke up the next morning, my mouth tasted like shit, i even outloud said why does my mouth taste like shit. On my way to work i remember going over the bridge thinking, i feel good this morning, calm, I should have been hung over. The back of my head, neck and shoulders were sore like i fell or something, but I never fall, i layed down and fell asleep. I also had a pin prick that was barely swollen on my left arm.

Also before this happened or shortly after my ex kicked me off her xfinity hotspot and she wouldn't talk to me. She gave me a ride to move to this place, and to look at it, she also gave me rides to go to the broward sheriffs office to take my weekly drug test, and to the store. My exgf asked me to stay before I moved out. Even though she asked me to leave a month prior. When she took me to go look at this room before i moved, as we were walking out of the building she said, "I hope he doesn't have cameras in there".
>>
>>22584587
OH YES CRUSH MY PATHETIC ASS
OH FUCK I'M GONNA CU-
>>
>>22583895
ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵈiᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶠᵘᶜᵏinᵍ ˢᵃʸ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ, ʸᵒᵘ ˡiᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵇiᵗᶜʰ? ᴵ’ˡˡ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏnᵒʷ ᴵ ᵍʳᵃᵈᵘᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒᵖ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ᶜˡᵃˢˢ in ᵗʰᵉ ᴺᵃᵛʸ ˢᵉᵃˡˢ,ᵃnᵈ ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵉn inᵛᵒˡᵛᵉᵈ in nᵘᵐᵉʳᵒᵘˢ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ ʳᵃiᵈˢ ᵒn ᴬˡ-Qᵘᵃᵉᵈᵃ, ᵃnᵈ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵒᵛᵉʳ 300 ᶜᵒnᶠiʳᵐᵉᵈ ᵏiˡˡˢ.

ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵗʳᵃinᵉᵈ inᵍᵒʳiˡˡᵃ ʷᵃʳᶠᵃʳᵉᵃnᵈ ᴵ’ᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵒᵖ ˢniᵖᵉʳ in ᵗʰᵉ ᵉnᵗiʳᵉ ᵁˢ ᵃʳᵐᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳᶜᵉˢ.ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ nᵒᵗʰinᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ ᵇᵘᵗ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃnᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵗᵃʳᵍᵉᵗ. ᴵ ʷiˡˡ ʷiᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵒᵘᵗ ʷiᵗʰ ᵖʳᵉᶜiˢiᵒn ᵗʰᵉ ˡiᵏᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ʷʰiᶜʰ ʰᵃˢ nᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵉᵉn ˢᵉᵉn ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ᵒn ᵗʰiˢ ᴱᵃʳᵗʰ, ᵐᵃʳᵏ ᵐʸ ᶠᵘᶜᵏinᵍ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ.

ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰinᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃn ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃʷᵃʸ ʷiᵗʰ ˢᵃʸinᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰiᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᴵnᵗᵉʳnᵉᵗ?ᵀʰinᵏ ᵃᵍᵃin, ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳ.ᴬˢ ʷᵉ ˢᵖᵉᵃᵏᴵ ᵃᵐ ᶜᵒnᵗᵃᶜᵗinᵍ ᵐʸ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ nᵉᵗʷᵒʳᵏ ᵒᶠ ˢᵖiᵉˢ ᵃᶜʳᵒˢˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵁˢᴬ ᵃnᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴵᴾ iˢ ᵇᵉinᵍ ᵗʳᵃᶜᵉᵈ ʳiᵍʰᵗ nᵒʷ ˢᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵖʳᵉᵖᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗᵒʳᵐ, ᵐᵃᵍᵍᵒᵗ. ᵀʰᵉ ˢᵗᵒʳᵐ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷiᵖᵉˢ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵃᵗʰᵉᵗiᶜ ˡiᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵗʰinᵍ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃˡˡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˡiᶠᵉ. ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏinᵍ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ, ᵏiᵈ. ᴵ ᶜᵃn ᵇᵉ ᵃnʸʷʰᵉʳᵉ, ᵃnʸᵗiᵐᵉ, ᵃnᵈ ᴵ ᶜᵃn ᵏiˡˡ ʸᵒᵘ in ᵒᵛᵉʳ ˢᵉᵛᵉn ʰᵘnᵈʳᵉᵈ ʷᵃʸˢ, ᵃnᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷiᵗʰ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃʳᵉ ʰᵃnᵈˢ.

ᴺᵒᵗ ᵒnˡʸ ᵃᵐ ᴵ ᵉˣᵗᵉnˢiᵛᵉˡʸ ᵗʳᵃinᵉᵈ in ᵘnᵃʳᵐᵉᵈ ᶜᵒᵐᵇᵃᵗ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃᶜᶜᵉˢˢ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉnᵗiʳᵉ ᵃʳˢᵉnᵃˡ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵁniᵗᵉᵈ ˢᵗᵃᵗᵉˢ ᴹᵃʳinᵉ ᶜᵒʳᵖˢᵃnᵈ ᴵ ʷiˡˡ ᵘˢᵉ iᵗ ᵗᵒ iᵗˢ ᶠᵘˡˡ ᵉˣᵗᵉnᵗ ᵗᵒ ʷiᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵐiˢᵉʳᵃᵇˡᵉ ᵃˢˢ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒnᵗinᵉnᵗ, ʸᵒᵘ ˡiᵗᵗˡᵉ ˢʰiᵗ. ᴵᶠ ᵒnˡʸ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵏnᵒʷn ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵘnʰᵒˡʸ ʳᵉᵗʳiᵇᵘᵗiᵒn ʸᵒᵘʳ ˡiᵗᵗˡᵉ “ᶜˡᵉᵛᵉʳ” ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉnᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇʳinᵍ ᵈᵒʷn ᵘᵖᵒn ʸᵒᵘ, ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʰᵉˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵘᶜᵏinᵍ ᵗᵒnᵍᵘᵉ.

ᴮᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈn’ᵗ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵈiᵈn’ᵗ, ᵃnᵈ nᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᵖᵃʸinᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳiᶜᵉ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵃᵐn iᵈiᵒᵗ. ᴵ ʷiˡˡ ˢʰiᵗ ᶠᵘʳʸ ᵃˡˡ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃnᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʷiˡˡ ᵈʳᵒʷn in iᵗ.

ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏinᵍ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ, ᵏiᵈᵈᵒ.
>>
>>22584587
I know
>>
I haven't been sober in the last 9-10 years and I'm only 25, either drugs or alcohol, nothing hard core at least, the worst probably was speed, then acid, but mostly other stuff. I wouldn't exactly call myself a "junkie" but I wasn't being sober. I changed all that this year and went "clean". Didn't even smoke a cigarette since April of this year. I changed a lot of my habits and I'm still working things out because I still have trouble sleeping well, I'm working on losing weight after quitting smoking, I'm trying to deal with the emotional changes since they're no longer suppressed. Things aren't too bad, but still, worst is that I'm only 25 and I'm afraid that if let's say I date someone, and they want to smoke weed with me, or take acid and have those experiences with me, I'd have to disappoint them and say "no". I'm afraid I'll come off as boring or a pussy or something. Not to mention being around friends who are good people. but they still do this sort of thing and I'm afraid that if I visit them and they all take something or smoke around me I'll have to do it too because peer pressure, not that it affects me much, it's more about standing out and being the only "sober" one in the room, it just makes me feel uncomfortable so just to not feel that way and be around friends, I'd end up doing something with them. These things worry me because so far I haven't been exposed to those situations because pandemic, but I fear that once I will, I'll be over a year sober and then I'll just go back to it all for one reason or another... it would be different if I was like 40 or something, but 25? I feel like I started too soon and let myself go so to speak, and now quitting is much more difficult, because of the age and thing that you do in that age.
>>
>>22584273
I saw the video bro. You were not raped. She showed me.
Everyone was fucked up. She had a stick and kept smacking not on your ass. It's why he asked you how's your ass feeling. You weren't raped.
It's over.
There I finally admit it bfuck j
>>
Long term gf broke up with me a year ago. Most of this past year has been taken up with finishing grad school and fixating on every little thing I wish I had done differently in our relationship. She wouldn't even talk to me about it for half a year. Mostly radio silence, while I felt like I was going to explode with the things I needed to say. I'm finally graduating, and we talked for 2.5 hours yesterday about old times and where we are now. It kind of bothered me to hear she's been dating someone else the past couple months. But somehow I think that's going to help me move on.

For so long, the plan was for me to finish grad school, then we'd get married. It started going downhill when I got stuck and just felt like more and more of a failure. She was patient and supportive, but eventually my negativity got to be too much. Finishing without her feels like a bit of a hollow victory. Now I just hope I'll be able to move on and make peace with my past.
>>
>>22584494
I noticed that someone must have hacked my shit because they could see the Facebook pages I looked at, they could clearly see the threads I followed on 4chan.

After i moved out of the Russians condo, i had paid him rent and he claim someone stole the money I just paid him and I had 2 weeks to leave. After I left and rented another room, i really noticed someone could see everything I do and type even if I don't actually post it.

I was in 4chan adv and I knew i had been hacked. I was posting about it on here. At one point i typed, in the gioyc thread, "I'm going to fucking kill that bitch". But instead of posting it i back spaced it, hit update and someone typed "you need to calm the fuck down" also I was posting how I thought it was my exgf and they said "she has nothing to do with this". O harassed and threatened that woman and her son. I even went by her condo and she was standing by the sliding glass door in the back, gave me a hateful look, and shut the door and pulled the curtains.

She denied it and denied it.

Also saying 2 and 3 was somehow connected to all of this because whoever was fucking with me kept posting it. I still have no idea what it means.

I left Florida because I was being gangstalked, mostly by fucking niggers.

I went to my home state, an stayed with this tranny that I used to let suck my dick one time a day in exchange for a place to stay in the winter, a big bottle of vodka everyday, food and cigarettes, when i was homeless.

My ex texted me after I arrived at this trannys place, and my ex texted me (who wasn't responding to me and who I was threatening a lot) "could you come watch the dog for 2 or 3 days". That was my dog and I raised her, I loved that dog so much.

What the fuck happened to me. My exgf must have known. I should have hurt the bitch when I had the chance.
>>
>>22584610
Yeah, definitely not me. I don't know any russians, and my ex was considerably a lightweight not a binge drinker.
>>
>>22584240
Absolutely not lmao
>>
>>22584660
You're full of shit and I'll know the truth when I see it.

When I shit that morning there was a lot of gas, and it slipped out very easily. I think I was taking kratom again im but sure. Something definitely happened.
>>
>>22584688
Well you sound better now anon
>>
>>22584694
Alcohol does that. My friend. Trust me. You weren't raped. As much as you want to be raped it's not true. The video is deleted. She deleted it and wiped the hard drive. It's gone. It's time to let it go. You WERE NOT RAPED I SAW THE ENTIRE VIDEO
>>
>>22584685
I drank till i was very drunk every night, woke up and rode 6 miles on my bike to the shop, and dug trenches and wired lights all day long in south Florida in the summer. I was hardcore drinker, but only at night, and in very good physical shape. My hands were thick with callouses. I was very strong. I was also suffering immensely everyday because I was always hung over. I had just broken up with my ex and moved out of her condo.

I don't understand why she asked me not to leave and I think her making the comment "i hope he doesn't have cameras in there" made me feel very uneasy.

Something fucked up was going on. I loved that woman and I thought she loved me. What the fuck was she doing before I moved out. She acted like she was upset that I left, but knowing her stubborn bitch asa, she'd never apologize for anything, she'd never admit to wrong doing, she also supported me financially, bailed me out of jail, never asked me for a dime, even when I pawned the chrome books when she was up north with her parents, she never called the cops. She was a teacher and went to stay with her parents up north, she left me with food, her car full of gas, and said she'd see me when she gets back. She always gave me sex.

Why the fuck would she do something to hurt me? I showed her lots of love and affection and even complimented her on things I thought were admirable.

Someone here knows exactly who I am and what happened. If that woman did something fucked up to me she deserves to get beaten by a grown man.
>>
>>22584719
Shut the fuck up. There would have been no reason to drug me other than that. Even if I wasn't, whatever was done to me that required someone to drug me while I was also very drunk, is equally as bad.
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>>22584740
You were drugged AND so were they. Everyone was fucked up. But you weren't raped. YOU KNOW WHO I AM. ITS ME.
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>>22584755
I was drinking that night. That kid gave me a muscle relaxer, i went to bed. Woke up and my mouth tasted like shit. I had what looked like a needle mark on my left inside of my forearm, the back of my head, my neck and shoulders were sore like i had been slammed.

I was definitely raped. My exgf wouldn't even respond to me a little before this happened. Kicked me off of her xfinity hotspot. Wouldn't talk to me. And I had Recieved a text that the owner on my T-Mobile account had been changed, i checked and it was still under my name. It was an $800 my ex helped me get, it was under her plan, and she was making the monthly payments and never stopped doing that. I never paid.

Something definitely happened.
>>
>>22584773
You weren't. There's literally zero proof you weren't. I saw the video. I can't tell you who I am but you can probably guess it pretty quickly
>>
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Man I sleep, so much. What am I even tired of doing? Jerking off? Actually that's it lmao. Well I don't know how to make excuses for that one kek.
>>
So are you into me or not? Confusing fucking guy
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>>22584788
Who are you
>>
So, I went full fucking “fix my life” mode. Cleaned up my room, quit porn, cut back on alcohol, started exercising again.
In a lot of regards, I do feel empowered and more confident, more ready to face the day and on top of things.
Yet I also still feel kinda empty. Like once you get out of doomer mode and start fixing what you can, you’re left over with certain aspects of your life that feel next to hopeless to fix. Your mental health record, that dysfunctional family that you still have some reliance on in key areas, the knowledge that even if you get into a relationship, you’re a type of damaged goods where you’d be borderline cursing the kid with your autism, something that gets worse from generation to generation.
I don’t wanna go back on the improvements I’ve made in my life, but, what do you do when you’re confronted with the scarier things you can’t exactly control in life?
>>
>>22584399
What does this have to do with above comment
>>
>>22584755
I don't believe you that I wasn't raped at all. I didn't consent to anything. But who was it. And why did they do it. They most likely penitrated me. Why else would they sneak into my condo, sneak into my room, and put a needle in my arm when I had been drinking and took some muscle relaxers.
>>
>>22579999
I think the Tomb Raider reboot is trash.
/v/ is filled with incels who coom for nu-jill claire and lara and now abbey.
>>
So many schizos in this thread holy shit
>>
>>22584828
>you’d be borderline cursing the kid with your autism, something that gets worse from generation to generation.
Do you have actual, diagnosed autism, or are you just super awkward because you're conditioned to act that way? If you get it together now, maybe you can make an effort to help the kid avoid some of your own mistakes.
>>
>>22584844
I'm not a schizo. I was drugged and something happened to me.
>>
>>22584857
Why do you think you'll get any genuine resolution to it by posting on an anonymous imageboard? I'm genuinely concerned because you're going to get nowhere by talking to a bunch of larping faggots
>>
>>22584755
What the fuck happened then
>>
>>22584824
You know
>>
>>22584880
He doesn't, if any of what that anon says happened is true then all of you retards need to stop fucking with him this much.
>>
I moved in with a female friend of mine, we started fucking not too long afterwards and just moved into the same room together instead of separate ones. Fucking fast forward to last week... We both get invited to the same family reunion.... Turns out we're cousins... And what's worse we've been dating for like eight months and love each other a fuck ton
>>
>>22584852
Diagnosed
>>
>>22584839
Nope. You know who this is.
You were drunk.
You were drugged.
We all were.
But you were not penetrated.
I saw the video.
You didn't.
It's me.
You can stop now.
It's time
>>
>>22584817
I was but you didn't play your cards right.
>>
>>22584907
What do you mean? If you're not larping then tell me what did I do
>>
>>22584912
Didn't play your cards right
>>
>>22584894
Like direct cousins? Second cousins? What sort anon?
>>
>>22584912
Your weren't sending the right messages. Which concludes that we are not speaking on the same frequency. I like you a lot but
we are too different.
>>
>>22584844
I know its great
>>
My wife is going back to school, about an hour away, and wants to move closer for an easier commute.
This is all sound and logical, except that we're cash strapped as it is. The area around the campus is more expensive than where we currently live. On top, I would either have to leave my job and find a new one, a process that could take longer than our savings would allow, or make the hour long commute BACK to where we currently live, effectively making the commute she doesn't want to make my problem instead.

I believe its in my best interest to support her, her education, and her career. But the burden feels awfully heavy right now.
>>
>>22584926
Direct cousins, got a lot of aunts and uncles and have not met them all so yeah, this is freaking me out a bunch. I am more nervous about the reunion than anything, I love my cousin and finding out what I did won't change that
>>
>>22584895
Still doesn't have to be the end all, be all. Maybe you need to find a way to introduce a deeper meaning into your life, something larger than you. That could be spiritual pursuits. Or you could just focus more on helping people and building better, fuller relationships. Even if you feel damaged and have some regrets in your past, it'll go a long way with a potential partner if you're willing to keep working on yourself and making yourself useful to others. It's that outward focus you might be lacking.
>>
>>22584941
>>22584918
Initials or you quit the larp
>>
Word up
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>>22584961
P.K
>>
>>22584867
Because whoever did this or knew all about it was on here before. They were toying with me on here.

I just assume that whatever Hai was likely recorded and or streamed a shared with people on here, maybe through a Facebook group or wherever. >>22584893
It absolutely happened and I sing remember any of it. I just remember being fucked with and gangstalked. I did at one point troll people on yikyak in Hollywood Florida, and that summer is the summer yikyak got shut down. I was saying all he worst antisemitic, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, possible shit and memes and it was glorious btw. Fuck the Jews in South Florida, nepotism, selfish users.

I also trolled a Jordan Peterson discussion group in Facebook. I don't care about the left or the right I'll troll you all. Besides women can't be far right, they only use it as a means to attention whore.

I also pissed off some snot nose liberals in delray Beach at kavasutra. One particular antifa tier liberal faggot there was actually good with computers, he worked for one of those tech support, sales scam companies which are litterally legal scams, scamming old people and computer illiterates out of hundreds of dollars, oh but he thinks he has the moral high ground.

I trolled those faggots irl and they'd get so mad. What's funny is that faggots girlfriend was a cute hippy like tomboy who was into steam punk, and she was always very nice to me and said something about my job (metal fabrication shop) how her dad used to scrape barnacles off of pylons when he first came to Florida. That faggot hated me, and I loved trump and made it very clear, and his girlfriend was always kind and friendly to me. I bet he hated that.

I didn't give a fuck. That place was full of liberals and a lot of them didn't like me, but I do not give a flying fuck. Liberal men are often pussies and think they're Moral but they have no idea what it means to be a masculine and moral man with principles.
>>
>>22584975
Nope, sorry
>>
>>22584899
Oh fuck off faggot.
>>
>>22584980
That's okay.
>>
>>22579999
Not all black people are pro blm/Anti-white. No that doesn’t make us Uncle Toms and race traitors were are just people trying to live our lives. I don’t understand all the hate black people get on 4chan it feels somewhat over exaggerated. I’m a black guy without a criminal record, have a decent job and contribute to society yet it feels like we all get lumped into one crowd.
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>>22584828
proud of you anon. just remember how much progress you’ve made and overcame. there’s no right way on how to handle situations you can’t control that I can think of thee than controlling how you feel about it. like with family or something. however, if you’re faced with situations that are out of your control it’s best to just release validity, evaluate risks, and take action. what i mean by this, is to analyze each outcome and find it’s resolution or effect. the action you take should be based on what you believe is right or wrong, the best outcome, and the course of taking action whether physical, mental, or emotional. this must be applied in all areas. also, let your fear of control go if you know you’re unable to do so, doing so only brings you the burden of confused feelings and uncertainty. also, make sure you don’t go back to old habits either. hope it helps. :)
>>
I don’t want to be here anymore... I think I’m losing connection to everyone around me, and I’m not sure what to do. I’m sick of the ups and downs that leave me exhausted, and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I want to kill myself.
>>
>>22584994
Because of black American subculture and the amount of blacks that want to be thugs and dress like gang bangers. It's a very disproportionate amount of them. That's why. I'm not racist but I'm racially prejudice, but when someone is cool and good to me I don't care.
>>
>>22584961
You know who this is.
It's done
>>
>>22584988
You know it's true.
You know who I am
>>
>>22585032
No I fucking don't. "Didn't play your cards right" is too vague, do you seriously expect me to know?
>>
>>22585042
Don't bother replying the larper.
>>
>>22584994
All niggers are rightful property of the white man, know your fucking place you shitstain
>>
Indifference
Disappointment
Lies and suffering
All people with whom I sought affection have given these in return.
A walking contradiction conditioned to cast away hope, love,and affection for the very source of its agony. I want the pain to end. It shall, as I sever these worthless emotions.
I was never alive.
Ending it all only to start over.
Love yourself. Live for yourself.
As the world suffers. I smile.
>>
>>22585021
I feel the same way buddy. If you can survive, please try. Every day I struggle with this but please don't give up.
>>
Thinking about you. I love you.
>>
>>22585162
always.
>>
>>22585021
Maybe you're just stagnant. You could try to think of some Try to think of some demonstrable ways to move yourself forward. It would probably be a good idea to limit screen time and focus on renewing whatever personal connections you've allowed to become stagnant. New connections are great too, but there's probably someone you could reach out to who's grown distant. A little effort in this things can go a long away, and the effect is often cumulative. Hang in there, and I hope you will see this as a temporary rough spot you were just passing through.
>>
>>22585181
Forever
>>
>>22584817
maybe post YOUR initials first next time, pound hound
>>
>>22585162
No, you're not. No, you don't.
>>
>>22584968
heyy bb
>>
>>22585191
<3
>>
>>22585199
Stop larping
>>
>>22585247
ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵈiᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶠᵘᶜᵏinᵍ ˢᵃʸ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ, ʸᵒᵘ ˡiᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵇiᵗᶜʰ?
>>
ANYWAY THE ANSWER IS NO
I'M BORED OF YOU
-JL
>>
>>22585221
I do. I am.
>>
>>22585135
You'll survive. We all will. We have no choice. And also.
That pain. It goes away.
Now.
>>
You make me so anxious, talking to you makes me so anxious, what the fuck is it about you??????
Burying my face in my hands because I cannot stop blushing ffs
I just want to retain composure whilst answering you but my mind doesn't let me
Why am I like this
>>
yes, i've found my golden macro.
i need to hit my protein and fibre goal at all costs otherwise i get hungry. if i hit fibre and protein goal 1600 is ez fuckin pz. no hungries.
>>
>>22583960
Sort of where you are but I'm in a weird middle ground compared to you and people are age. Like crypto instead of stocks, renting my own house, but otherwise I agree, the shit you're supposed to do never felt right to me
>>
>>22585364
Thats a huge relief. Thanks!
>>
>>22585524
In a lot of cases what I noticed was that the advice I was given growing up (what little discussion there was) by family members was the path to abssolute mediocrity, and even now I see these people all around me, like are they trying to drag me down to their level?

I hate their energy.
Why exactly do you exist if THAT is going to be your life?
>>
>>22585221
Oh come on you can't possibly assert this unless you don't believe in love at all, I love my human a lot actually.
>>
>>22585431
To the unchanging, only a continuous cycle of stagnation and misery exists. I've located the source of my pain and change myself accordingly. Carrying regret and pain is no way to live.
Let's turn the page together.
Thank you.
>>
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So I thought about it in the shower and this is how it's going to go down: about two weeks from now I'm going to snort some daggers and bust the biggest most pent up load raw dogging some foxy escort and totally forget you exist. Then as I continue to claw my way further out of this hellhole of a life you're going to disappear more and more into the rearview mirror until it becomes just like with all the other people I once knew but now can't tell you anything about. I'm cutting people out of my life, again, almost instinctually. I'm changing right in front of your eyes and you can't see it? I can feel a wave of changes, from personality to buisness to sex and I'll have new horizons and vistas and far, far better options

What a relief.
>>
I cannot get close to you with someone like that with us. I know that is my problem but to me it’s like the grown ups have taken out their kid or something.
>>
Would be better off with a stranger lmao. Well fuck another week gone by another connection missed. I’m stuck on you but you don’t give a shit.
>>
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>>22579999
Not a green text story, mostly just bullet points of the shit happening now
>new truck is broken needing repairs IF I can get it to the shop tomorrow
>got a female friend I want to date, but she is in another country that I more than likely will never get to date or see
>constantly fighting an ant invasion in home
>allergies killing me
>unemployment money almost empty
>lost all remaining friends
>extended family is catching corona quickly
>brother is dating girl he tried to put on me due to thinking I can never get a girl friend
>job field and degree died thanks to virus
>it is my birthday
>>
Had a nice time with you tonight and I feel we could be something

At the same time I can't shake this feeling I want someone a lot younger and from a certain culture. I feel like a vapid piece of shit but I can't help if
>>
Learn the hard way then get tossed on the rocks bitch.
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I am so frustrated right now. I need more of your time without some lump on a log sitting there. I know you have shit to do, but I cant dwell here and obsess over you with no recourse in sight. I know never asked for this. That’s it I’m done with this altogether. I’m checking out completely. Goodbye to you. Goodbye to you. I wanted to be your friend at the very least but friends have slumber parties and friends share secrets. I haven’t received either from you.
>>
What culture did you have in mind?
>>
Stop being so reserved show me some of the shit that made me fall for you. You’re acting like a bitch and I am a mirror.
>>
Nah I’m just a bit pissed. And not because wet hole denial or any fantasy you like to tell yourself, it’s because you deny me depth and serve shallowness. Obviously life requires and thrives on shallowness sometimes but damn I’m starving babe. Why you holding back so hard? Why you trying to hurt me at the sto’
>>
>>22586217
trust your gut. If it's not fuck yes, then fuck no
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>>22584196
Of course not, that would come across as weird. I wait the exact amount of time you take to respond between messages.
>>
>>22586300
All relationships require a certain level of communication and energy from both persons. A good relationship blossoms when both people have a frequent dialogue.
Don't stay in a sinking ship when you're the only one saving it.
It's their loss. Go find happiness, you deserve it.
>>
I didn't even ask you for anything, BAAAAAAAKA.
>>
>>22586300
Feels bad. I've got a friend I've kind of been neglecting like that. I've got mega bad anxiety, and it's just super difficult for me to engage people like that. I guess I've been using a lot of the things going on in my life as an excuse to not have to face that, but I know it isn't really fair to them. They've been more than good to me.

How long has your human been out of contact? It's just that at this point, I don't know if I'd be hurting things more than I'd be helping them by trying again.
>>
I love you, but i can't love you. Another one owns you. Can't handle that. Fuck.
>>
>>22586707
... Sorry
>>
>>22586707
I make her lick the floor sometimes lol



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