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How do you deal with depression making you kind of cruel? I'm an older female at around 28 years old so my brain should be done developing for the most part.

I'm annoyed at almost everything. Seeing a random person in a video laugh, children walking by, even loved ones. I notice every flaw and see them in a hard, cold light. If they do any mistake or just exist my brain just zooms into everything with a cruel bias. This includes myself as I perceive myself just as bad as them.

However when I took MDMA and felt happy, nothing bothered me. I felt a lot of empathy and softness for humans. So I have to assume it has to do with the lack of happiness? I tried microdosing shrooms and meditation, didn't help. Telling myself that my view is wrong and its just my depression speaking doesn't help either because the feeling is strong and always there. What to do? Anyone feels the same?
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Do you look at yourself in the same light? It could be a cause
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You should be working on self actualization at 28. If you just exist everything sucks.

How many children do you have?
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>>22574804
Yes.

>>22574819
I don't want children. I hate people with mental illness who breed. They are very likely to keep this cycle of suffering alive. I'm not fond of this world so I wouldn't force an innocent child through this shit.
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>>22574830
demon.
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>>22574799
Sounds like drug withdrawal to me. You like doing drugs so much it's hard to stay happy without it. This is coming from someone battling with alcoholism and weed.
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>>22575006
You're the one who is a demon. Why should people with mental illness that is often highly genetical and also often experienced by the child push out kids into this world? So they keep passing on the suffering? Disgusting.
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aught to burn you at the stake. joke.
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>>22575031
>highly genetical
Nearly every human being on this planet has some predisposition to mental illness of some kind in their genetic makeup from past generations. For most people, it only takes a very traumatic event/series of events for this mental illness to manifest itself. Your line of thinking is completely incorrect.
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>>22575179
>Nearly every human being on this planet has some predisposition to mental illness

Not really. Severe mental illness often has an important genetic link that most humans don't carry. Not talking about mild one. Plus, growing up around someone who is very depressed (or otherwise "ill") is likely to stress the child out at some point and stress is a good factor to unlock mental illness.
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>>22574799
Could be many things, jealousy towards the happy, or perhaps you view their happiness as stupid and fleeting because you are coming from a nihilist place.

Maybe your experiences showed that happiness never lasts and you somehow feel that this gives you superior wisdom over others. Then you realize that you are actually full of shit and feel bad.

I have a similar experience, before depression I was often helping people, but I stopped doing it. Mostly because I realized that very few actually care about me and would rather simply use me, and so why help them be happy when I could be selfish with my time instead.

I suspect a big part in overcoming it would be finding something to give meaning to your life, a certain mission. I was certainly better off when I at least had the illusion that I'm doing something right.
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have you always been that way? i feel that way sometimes.

id recommend becoming completely sober.
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wokest woke wok wooooooaaaaahhhhhK!!

>I have a similar experience, before depression I was often helping people, but I stopped doing it. Mostly because I realized that very few actually care about me and would rather simply use me, and so why help them be happy when I could be selfish with my time instead.

i legit dont get people who help others succeed lol theyre so non-cynical
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>>22575231
>>22575031
>>22574830
You're confused on this matter so let's unpack this real quick. First of all humans don't inherit mental illness like you think. Mental illnesses are a convenient label for sets of behaviors observed in patients. It has nothing to do with the underlying physiological and psychological causes. This is why cbt/dbt therapy is the front line treatment for a vast majority of patients who don't suffer from things like brain damage that manifests mental illness. Secondly, you need to understand that epigenetics play a massive role in the development of a child. We, as humans, are purpose built to adapt to our environment. Period. Humans change according to environmental stimulus much more than you're led top believe. Thirdly, children are blank slates mentally. You and your partner, with the right planning, can raise a child in such a way to make them extremely mentally resilient. Mental illness can be taught out of children because they're still adapting and learning. The behaviors they inherit from their parents are not set in stone.

As for the rest of you. You sound like a psuedo-intellectual that hates that other people are experiencing things you don't. You need to practice some cbt on your own and maybe have sex unironically.
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>>22574799
in the same position but male, and I agree with you on kids.

I think we're the sane ones in this. This is not a time to be happy and nice. We just found out our world is run by pedophiles and at the same time the central banks are stealing our wealth and giving it directly to the richest people on the planet.

the only thing people have to say is get therapy or >>22575969 have sex. that's all there is to do. there are no real solutions.
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>>22575969
>Mostpsychiatric disordersare highly heritable; the estimated heritability for bipolardisorder,schizophrenia, and autism (80% or higher) is much higher than that ofdiseaseslike breast cancer and Parkinson disease. Having a close family member affected by amental illnessis the largest known risk factor, to date.

I DONT CARE ABOUT SCIENCE AND TWIN STUDIES CAUSE MUH FEELINGSSSS
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>>22574799
U can deal with depression with alot diferent ways but i have to be honest with yourself and search for help.
u have to accept that u have a problem and it is serious.
different ppl deals with it in different ways, i mean generous people find some sucess just being more egoistic, and in the other side ppl who are very negative( seems to be u) find some sucess helping other people.
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>>22575969
Boom this, Tired of these fucking cunts who think this shit needs to be defended cause they think they got it from their dipshit parents. At that point its on you to grow the fuck and unlearn your bad habits cause guess what? if you dont suffer from some kind of brain damage then there's jack shit wrong with you and you just decided that cause you're life takes effort and work that you're gonna be sad and claim it as science. Get fucked and grow up.
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>>22574799
>What to do?
kys, druggie

>>22575969
You're even worse, you absolute faggot. Don't encourage defects to reproduce.
>blank slates
>t. Locke
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>>22576116
>being too dumb to comprehend the simple fact that is has been scientifically proven that most psychiatric disorders are highly heritable
>being too dumb to comprehend the simple fact that stress has been proven to be a grand factor in unlocking or developing mental illness and that children of a mentally ill parent are likely to suffer from more stress than the average child
>JUST BREEEED! BREEED! BREED! PUMP OUT CHILDREN!


>>22576130
Taking MDMA twice in your life isn't being a druggie. Shut the fuck up, retard.
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>>22577335
again, this isn't a good place for this kind of advice, they're going to criticize your post instead of trying to understand your point of view. if the question isn't "how do I sex sex?" it's not worth asking here
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>>22574799
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>>22579497
Why bump?
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>>22574799
Thoughts op?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYpSMsL_BeA

also if you gave any two people who hated each other mdma they would probably become good friends after
> because the feeling is strong and always there. What to do? Anyone feels the same?
yeah even though I realise brains are a filter and if you think things are too strong and impossible it will mean your brain stops focusing on the problem conscious/unconsciously
sometimes it feels like others are inherently good at being positive and psychologically resilient like pic related
and that all the lazy/negative/seemingly illogical people who I just thought needed to get over themselves probably had some sort of opposite thing which was inherent to them and that manifested itself in their personality/attitude like a neurochemical thing or wiring thing

but no idea to be honest
also have you tried compound barbell lifts? jogging helped me with anxiety but deadlifts were insane for my mood and my outlook on life before/after I do them is very different, like my thoughts change completely for the better within an hour
dopamine/endorphins or whatever chemical is op
I just want to scream in peoples faces and laugh it off and tell people I know how good it is to be alive whereas before I see every little ache or pain as a reason to be worried or see the world as grey and full of danger

also even taking mdma once can come with huge risk to your brain and ability to feel healthy emotions
https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/7ap4g4/still_dealing_with_brain_damage_from_mdma_one/
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>>22574799
Try to not be so cynical? I don’t know. I’m not mad at people, but I feel pretty empty myself. It sounds like your jealous of others enjoying themselves or at least resent them for it.
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>>22579597
I don't feel jealous. I just find them obnoxious and everything about them from the way they breathe to the movement of their hand annoys me, as if I was observing a stupid monkey. And that every person is miserable deep down or will eventually die, so there is nothing to admire there.

I'm aware it sounds and is edgy and over the top but my brain makes me FEEL that way constantly. My logic telling me snap the fuck out of it bitch can't overcome the constant feelings, that primal rejection and judgement I so quickly feel.
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>>22579552
I will watch the video. She's a nice girl.

I don't enjoy exercise much but did it in the past here and there. The guy from the thread did MDMA in a short amount of time if I understood correctly and you should never so that but true, regardless the drug needs to be respected. I just took it twice in my life. I guess I was just amazed at how gentle and friendly I suddenly felt.
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>>22579622
I feel that way about a lot of people. Mostly ones that mindlessly consume. Maybe you’re around uninspiring people. You also have a really nihilistic cynical perspective though.
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>>22575926
Helping others makes you a useful person, and useful people are valued, even if they're sometimes used.
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>>22579653
I feel that way about everyone who isn't perfect. And perfection doesn't exist in this world or only fleeting. People who don't mindlessly consume often have an intellectual complex and smugly think of themselves to be superior. At the end of the day they're still a sweating, pooping flesh golem who can randomly die from a stroke anyday.

My thinking or feeling is just abnormal and disturbed. MDMA was able to erase that but I guess its just a temporary illusion.
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>>22579684
What would perfect people be like, you think? Like sure there is flowers more pretty and ugly and better at living, but they’re just flowers.

On the other hand I get what you mean. I wish I could engineer my body and improve it, but instead it’s falling apart.

Sometimes people who are smarter than average and productive can also be light hearted, but you’re right - they’ll still probably be flawed in some way or another.

Did you feel this way before MDMA?
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>>22577335
Do you faggots ever stop relying on what you read on random medical websites? Seems like you cant really come up with a counter argument so you just default to "well the numbers say!" The numbers can be changed, skewed, and tampered with to merely fall in line with the bullshit they're trying to pitch. Unless you're someone who works in this field, then parroting your statistical bullshit is the same as not having an argument in general. Tell me, what research have you done other than
>the bad man on 4chan said something, let me pull a link outta my ass

You pathetic bitch.
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>>22577407
You're learning roast. Good.
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>>22579860
>all these peer-reviewed studies and doctors worldwide regardless of country or nation agreeing that most psychiatric disorders are highly heritable isn't true because a random schizo-anon who has no degree thinks so

As if it wasn't fucking logical just from observing life that there's a huge genetic link to mental illness. Even if you disregard that massive amount of SCIENCE, there's plenty of anecdotal evidence. Just recently a famous streamer and rich guy called Reckful killed himself over his bipolar disorder. Guess what? His mom is also bipolar, and so is his older brother who also died from it.

Fuck off and take your meds, drooling moron.
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What's a good way of combating alcohol cravings? I've been a borderline alcoholic since 19, I'm now 24. It's gotten better, I go 2-3 days with no cravings at this point. But lately because of COVID I had lost my job and had to move back in with my mom. I'm now job hunting and haven't been able to drink regularly, and admittedly I've stolen 20 bucks every now and then because my mom always gets me to get groceries. It's a really fucked thing to do I know. Right now I know she has a pretty decent stack of cash hidden away and she showed me where, I don't want to betray her but especially today I've been getting TONS of alcohol cravings. I keep making myself busy, cleaning the place, made some food that took me 40 minutes to make, exercised, etc. It helps but as soon as I'm in the down time I've been just thinking over and over she wouldn't notice if I took a 20 so I could get a 12 pack. I'm driving myself nuts.
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Fucking hell I wish I could meet you
t.Your male counterpart
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>>22579942
Does candy not help? Junkfood?
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>>22579942
Oh fuck I really meant to make my own thread sorry

>>22579971
No I don't really like junk food or sweets that much anymore.

Sorry I'll make my own thread I'm an idiot
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>>22574799
I feel you dudette
I've spent much of my life surrounded by death, I find images and videos and news of violence/war more comforting than experimenting with love. And yet I still crave love, even though my comfort and fascination with death scares everyone away
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>>22574799
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>>22574799
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>>22581779
>>22582857
Yo, OP here. I lost interest with the thread so please stop bumping it anon, because I'm not going to return to answer or read anything. If you have a similar problem feel free to make a new thread.
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>>22582922
Did you get much from anitas experiences and conclusions? I don't get anywhere near a fraction of the same mental benefit from helping others as she does
its where a lot of her mental strength comes from and when she says the 4 years of peace is worth it I can't understand why
she is the most patient, empathetic, intelligent and rational person I've ever seen



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