Please read, I'm gonna bump a lot because I want many replies and instruction on what to do.>Be me, university fag, no girlfriends ever, no nothing >Decide to take my chances>See qt3.14 at a party but she's with her friends so I don't interact outside of smiling at her when our eyes meet>Give her a follow on Instagram, she accepts and even follow back>Talk to her a few times over a month but only about uni related stuff because I'm too much of a beta to show love that early.>Start smiling at her at school and saying hi, she does too>Figure out which path she takes after uni to home and see that she's going aloneNot this is probably where it gets fucked up>Today I saw my chance>keikaku.exe>Go the same way BUT in front of her so it doesn't seem like I'm stalking her.>She doesn't try to talk to me or anything but I'm 99% sure she saw me ( she's very shy )>Go into Light Yagami mode, calculate every traffic light, stop to text, stop to let the people pass me, stop to pet a cat, EVERYTHING IN MY POWER>She finally catches up to me at a traffic light >Thisisit.mp4>Give her a quick smile like I just noticed her, she does the same. Ask about how her day went, we start the conversation and we start walking together. Make some bullshit excuse as to why I'm going her way.>There was some awkward silence but, as the time went on, she eased up and started talking more even asking some questions herself.>We come to a crossroad where, by my story I have to go left. We stop for a bit so we finish the subject we were talking about. We split up and each take our own paths with both of us saying "See ya"I'm now home, am I a stalker or just a boy in love?What's the next step? When is the next step? Both of us are 20 if that matters. No I can not just talk to her at uni yet or ask her out YET please don't bring that up.
Now this is probably where it gets fucked up**
damn bro. it's a little weird with the whole keikaku.exe thing but im rooting for you weeb
>>20449553It is but I don't think if she noticed it.I definitely don't look very treating considering I'm at most 2 inches taller than her and I'm skinny.
Guys do I play the pull away game and wait for her to initiate the next contact with me?
It's okay. Weird but still barely within "cute". Don't ever tell her.You gotta channel that stalking intensity into just asking her if she wants to grab coffee with you sometime tho.
>>20449576Also for god's sake you're not in love you barely know her. You're just infatuated because she's pretty, it's a different fucking thing, don't tell her anything about love for a few months AT LEAST. Wait till you actually know something about her personality.Outside of that yeah just ask her for coffee the next time you see her around it's really not that hard. Don't treat it as if it's your only chance at happiness it'll just make it 1000% harder.
I think what you really had going for you is that you went first, you pet the cat, and that you had an exit. personally I wouldn't try to get away that something like that twice; i'd try to be constantly more myself. I think the charade of it all is a bit too devious for me, unless you actually did just go walk to some random shop or something other than just walk immediately home having no other intentions besides talking to this girl.
>>20449576What worries me the most is that she probably saw me but didn't initiate contact. Although it's weird to do that to someone in front of you and neither did I until she caught up. Maybe she was thinking the same?But when's the next time? Do I just let it go for a bit and just smile at her and stuff not to seem needy?
>>20449516You're fine kid
>>20449576>>20449587No I'm definitely in love with her, I love her personality, looks, the way she acts, the cute smiles she gives and all.I'm definitely struck. But I don't want to ask her... it seems needy and pushy. Especially not after this today. We should have at least 1 longer contact like this one but where she starts it / mutual before I can ask her out.
>>20449608What to do, when to do, how to do?>>20449591No I'm definitely not trying to do it twice. Maybe when I actually need to go there I take a walk and not ride the bus / metro but that's just to enhance the chance of talking to her not especially for that. And no I can't ask her out YET. What do I do now and when? Spoon-fed me
>>20449610Oh god this is destined to fail. You don’t love her. Please don’t stalk her again and just ask her out like a well-adjusted nature human being.
>>20449516You might be attracted to her, but you can't fall in love with someone you've only talked to a couple times. If you do, you're not falling in love with the person, since you barely know them, you are falling in love with the idea of them you've put together in your head.
>>20449610Dude. I know you're 20, but you need to learn the difference between infatuation and love before you scare someone who knows the difference off. Infatuation is being struck by someone. Really liking their personality, looks, the way they act, the cute smiles and all.Love is deeply built understanding and acceptance of every part of someone's person. You can't love her yet. You barely know her. But maybe your infatuation will become love. Which is beautiful. Just don't skip a step
>>20449631>>20449637>>20449638Ok ok, I don't love her I like her very much, I have a crush. What do I do.
>>20449622Ok here's a play by playNext time you see her just have a normal conversation about studying or whatever. Then at the end of it, right when you're leaving, you say something like"Hey by the way, do you wanna get coffee sometime? I really like talking to you but I never see you around."Done.
>>20449645Good job anon you're learningThere may be hope for you yetStep 2 (I know it's the harder one): Don't overthink everything so much, if you don't plan everything it's intrinsically smoother even if it's awkward. Just own the awkwardness as unplanned cuteness, you seem like you could pull that shit off.
>>20449649I don't have any chance to talk to her in uni 1 on 1 and I don't want to go out of my way to extract her from her friend group just to talk.>>20449656But I need an event which will bring those to the light
>>20449591Petting the cat was a 200iq big brain fucking power play.OP seems really smart
>>20449697Wait till you have a chance... It'll happen. If it takes a bit, all the better, you'll get to know her more before. Don't overplan things. If it really really takes a long time message her "Hey I feel like I never see you around. Wanna get a coffee sometime?"But don't rush things anon. Patience is the biggest virtue for you right now. Believing the infatuation you've got and going full "in love"/crazy/stalker is the biggest risk. You seem all right, just be decently well-adjusted and she'll like you. Don't go over the "creepy"-edge you're flirting with in the OP.
>>20449705for fucking sure
>>20449705>>20449724Thank you guys. >>20449716I wish I could just magically make her like me. If she's not interested in me after this I doubt there's anything I can do to change that sadly.But how much time is too much?And how do I raise my chances? Just stand around her a lot and smile?
>>20449735Wait a few weeks before messaging her, I guess? Just depends on how likely you think it is that you'll be able to talk to her one on one. In person is better but either can work, so it's a tradeoff of waiting longer and asking her out a bit more smoothly. Up to you.Be generally nice and she'll probably give you at least a coffee. After that you gotta have something that interests her.. Could be anything. Depends on her. You seem like you could be decently charming by being more or less yourself, just work that. She'll see that you're smart, kind of naively nice, and romantic. (Don't go all macho those are good qualities anon.) That's already decent. Hope she likes the way you look and you're good. Also: Don't go all crazy nervous, remember that the things you actually talk about don't matter so don't freak out if you're talking about boring things. Just talk about boring things in a charming way. You can make a girl like you talking about taxes if you do it in the right way.
>>20449747AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, IF SHE REJECTS YOU TAKE IT NICELY AND DON'T CALL HER A SLUT
>>20449516Hahah not full stalker yet but stalkerish. If you keep doing it though she's going to catch on and find it wierd, chances are shes already on to u and saw straight through the excuse. You should walk the same way as her 1 more time but this time catch up to her and start joking/chatting & if she seems like shes enjoying your company say that you have something to tell her when she asks what it is get all embarrassed and say you can't tell her, she's going to want to know more then say ok I'll tell u but u can't take it the wrong way, then spill your heart and tell her the truth. say, well I think I might like you a little bit (dont tell her you really like her alot just joke around with it) because then it will be creepy I mean u hardly know her. and say I saw you walked this way and i dont know how else to get to talk to u, so I made up some lame excuse to walk this way just so I could get to know u more, then act embarrassed againIf she likes you she's going to think it's sweet and funny that u were embarrassed then ask her on a dateBut if she doesn't like u anon, don't waste ur time there's other girls out thereT. Femanon
One thing I just remembered is that I noticed that she laughed a lot at my jests. But didn't look at me all that much, then again I looked at her once because I was just too anxious.
>>20449754this is not good advice
>>20449747>>20449753I definitely want to take it sloooooow and give her a chance to help me do it.I'm one of the most anti macho men you can imagine without being gay so that isn't a problem. I do lack in self confidence as it's evident. I'm not going to call her a slut and all that but I don't even want to imagine the rejection, that's why I haven't asked her yet.
>>20449754I don't like this idea anonnete sorry.Testing my luck again but this time even worse because I'm catching up to her.Also I could never do that "something I have to tell you" thing, never, cringey and just creepy. This isn't a romance anime. My social anxiety won't let me do it.
>>20449755Well you said it yourself, you didn't look at her either.
>>20449767You got this anonthings don't always work out but you're doin what you can. good stuff
>>20449789Thank you, I'm trying to best.But I do doubt anything is going to happen if I just leave it. She probably already knows if she likes me or not.
>>20449798Exactly anon! That's y u need to do what I said and catch up with her again, even if you see her outside of class go up to her and talk to her, u know each other now so it's not weird to approach her, maybe after a few brief encounters like that ask her on a date (nothing major just coffee or lunch or something) and go from there start hanging out more, studying together, you got this anon it's not hard I really don't understand y guys find it so difficult to let a girl no u like her, you should be able to tell if she likes u or not, and i think u can and u no she does but ur just scared of rejection
>>20449872Well that I can do, catching up to her like that is different than going with the after uni plan again.I don't know if she likes me, those are some pretty mixed signal I got ( didn't try to start a conversations, still talked and laughed... ) But yes, I'm afraid of rejection a lot as are most of the guys here probably.
>>20449900You're good anon. Just do the one on one asking her to coffee thing. If you don't see her alone you can always message her online after a while.Rejection is painful but success is amazing. I believe in you. By the way, if she's shy she probably wouldn't start conversations anyway. I'd say you're good.
>>20450043But I'm shy too! Why does it have to be me? Also what if she's not shy but just genuinely dislikes me, there's that possibility. >Rejection is painful but success is amazing.I agree but that's why you should work on tipping the odds in your favor
>>20450098>Why does it have to be me? Way of life. Don't worry, women's got way worse shit to deal with.If she genuinely doesn't like you then oh well. It was an experience. If she does, it's great.>tipping the odds in your favorI generally agree but you're at the point where working more at it gives negative returns. So far your planning and strategizing is totally normal and she'll find it cute if she ever finds out. Just don't go any further or it'll be creepy and you'll have to hide it from her, ya know? Just some life advice: You're clearly clever enough that you can think things through a lot. But that doesn't mean you always should. Sometimes you should intentionally think things through a little bit less. Be stupider, so to speak. Especially in social situations. It'll make you trust your intuition over time, easier to relate to, and just generally a more well-rounded human, somehow. Trust me.
>>20450129Still I would much rather prefer to be at least 60% sure that she likes me before asking her out. And what do you think based on the signals? I draw nothing from it, very mixed, I think she genuinely enjoyed talking but then again she might've just been creeped the fuck out, why didn't she try to talk to me when I was like 5 meters in front of her?
>>20450236Dude she likes you stop worrying, you're interpreting everything positive negatively and everything neutral negatively. She's given you literally no bad signal. The ones you're interpreting that way is just her being shy or not wanting to make it obvious that she's into you. Follow the plan and it'll be fine
Nah, I used to be a bit of a stalker and you're just kind of cute and awkward. Just talk to her more you don't need to put so much effort in finding someone you like. Be less beta and flirt with her mildly, call her cute and compliment her.I can tell you about being a stalker. Well, she was friendly to me when no one else would be, got cute and even told people she had a crush on me. That had never happend before. So, that same sophmore year of hs I became severely depressed and distanced myself from everyone. As more people started distancing themselves from me in reaction, she did too. I stopped being able to relate with people normally , and grew extremely lonely. Sometimes she would say hello and try to talk with me and I just couldn't bring myself to respond. Had intrusive thoughts about killing myself, started binge drinking. Eventually it all got bad enough to the point where I had psychotic breaks , visual hallicinations and moments of catatonia where I would just sit in a dark room for hours staring at a wall. Couldn't feel time passing by, couldn't remember who I was. I was young, and terrified. Not knowing how to interact with people after an episode and being drunk all the time, I just started following her around. Started running into her everywhere "randomly" a lot. I just wish she would've asked how I was so I could cry in someone's arms but i think all I did was scare her. I was desperate, did everything I could so I could at least try to feel normal again because maybe I wouldn't want to die then. Nothing worked, she grew into a certain crowd and I became the school shooter kid in her eyes, reasonably wanted me to leave her alone but I couldn't. I just wanted to see if anyone cared. She told me to fuck off eventually then I tried to kill myself about 3 times. I avoided psychiatric care out of pride and anger. Hated her and everyone I ever knew, called her a worthless whore etc. No one's gotten close to me since 4 years ago now
>>20450378So yeah, you're not a stalker OP. It takes severe mental illness to reach that level of obsession with someone. You're not someone's crazy ex bf or insane, you're more like a desperate school kid with a crush.
>>20450378it's okay anon
>>20450317bad signals: takes ~15 minutes to respond to messages even when I know for a fact she's doing nothing, she doesn't take the conversation anywhere and would just leave it at uni stuff if I didn't change subjects, didn't stop me to talk even though she probably saw me, she doesn't go out of her way to interact with me in uni even when I make it painfully easy ( separating myself from my friends and just doing something on the phone solo ) Good signs: she messages first sometimes, she likes to write a lot of messages at once, he laughed irl at my jests, she was the first one to start saying hi and smiling at uni...
>>20450434No, it's not going to be for at least a few more years. I'm still pretty bitter . There's a bit of hope, but this level of otherness will put me at odds with most people I meet for a while longer. I've never met anyone else who has reached my level of insanity. I can still become a great person, but I can't find love until I learn how to forgive myself and others. Honesty is a lot harder than you'd think
>>20449516This is pretty weird, man.You should just come out and say it, honestly.
>>20450378>>20450396Damn anon, I'm really really sorry... Hope it gets better >>20450474I literally can't, it doesn't feel genuine over text and it seems too pushy/needy.Irl I can't because she's always with her friends, she's the quietest one in the group but still. I'm not that good looking to go into a ~6 people crowd and ask 1 girl out.
>>20450467Your bad signals are stupid>takes time to respondShe's probably nervous and thinking about what to say. Maybe doesn't want to act too eager.>doesn't take the convo anywhereSome people don't know how. If you knew how you'd do this with people you weren't into too.>didn't stop you to talkWeren't she behind you in the OP? No one yells from behind. Also she's shy man you gotta remember>doesn't go out of her way to talk to youDidn't you already talk about how hard it is to approach someone when you know you might get rejected?And>she messages first sometimesOOOOOH BOY>she was the first one to start saying hi and smiling at uniDAMN SONFuck man. Most like she's vaguely interested. Absolute worst case scenario is she might like you over time if you play your cards right. Stop overthinking it, you gotta just go for it. Honestly if you're thinking this much about it you might wanna just ask her out online now, or tomorrow.
>>20450532But taking the convo somewhere I mean, she'd just end with a "thanks" after getting the response she's looking for if I didn't do a "so when will you be studying it" or "It's really not that hard but I dislike it" or something like that.But what if she's not shy? What if it's just how I perceive here because she dislikes me and just acts like that when near me.Yeah I did but I she doesn't make it as easy, if she was isolated on her phone near me I'd 100% ask her how her day is going or something. I'm making it easy. How do I play my cards right?I don't want to do anything today or tomorrow because we ended on a good note, it's a season finale, from not talking irl at all ever to having a ~15 minute walk with talking and being close. Read somewhere that you should pull away like this to make her want you more.
>>20450527Thanks man, good luck with this girl. Seems like you just need to go through a small awkward phase of trying to hang out with her friends to hang out with her. I've seen it happen a lot
>>20450578I've no mutual friends with their group I can't just insert myself. Thank you!
>>20449516This is 4chan, if you're here to normalize strange behavior you came to the right place.>am i a stalkerYep. Just look at your own post:>so it doesn't seem like I'm stalking her>does it matterOnly she can tell you that, but guess what? It isn't healthy.>no girlfriends ever>does it matterOnly you have control over if this matters, but it looks like you're letting it matter a lot. >don't bring up just talking to herWHAT? Why have you made this thread if you realize the absolute GOAT solution to your problems? Tell me why in absolutely critical detail why you can't just apply the EASIEST and most EFFECTIVE solution to your problem? That should be the bulk of your post here, not a detailed memey rundown of your stalking habits>>20450527>Irl I can't because she's always with her friends, she's the quietest one in the group but still.Shit like this doesn't cover why you can't just talk to her. If you're just scared of shit like --->>20449767>I don't even want to imagine the rejection, that's why I haven't asked her yet.>>20449798>She probably already knows if she likes me or not.--- If this scares you, you need to WORK at not being afraid. You're only working at ENCOURAGING your fear by feeding it. If you can't talk to girls in the softest of situations, how will you ever maintain a relationship, let alone snag one?>why did you bring up just talking to her anon?!You know what you accomplished by overthinking all this and spending all this time, energy, and sweaty spagetti into this? Nothing. 1. She doesn't know you are interested because you made it look like a random encounter.2. She doesn't know you are interested because she isn't psychic.3. She doesn't know you are interested because you haven't told her you're interested.If you don't care that she knows you're interested or not, you've got bigger problems than wondering if you're just infatuated or not.
>>20450527>I literally can'tHave you convinced yourself that these excuses are valid?Call her on the phone, you doofus.Or invite her to hang out with just the two of you.It's not that hard.
>>20450650So what would you suggest? Going out of my way solo to a group of 6 and talking to her? Of course it would be weird, even weirder if I bring my friends. It has to be spontaneous. But I did talk to her in a "soft" situation, my literal goal was to talk to her and I succeeded, it was everything I expected. I'm pretty sure she gets it. I mean, we've been at the same uni for 2 years now, she didn't even know my name a month ago and now everything is just happening like this all at once. She may be even thinking it's just that she's noticing me more because she started to like me.>>20450657But shouldn't I make a pause? This was the culmination of all the events leading up to it. And it was on Friday, just perfect, now we both have time to think it through until Monday don't we?
>>20450693>Shouldn't I wait?Waiting is almost always a bad idea.Time is your enemy when you're trying to get a girl to date you.There are an infinite number of things that could go wrong if you wait.She could decide you're not cool, there are other guys trying to get her attention, her friends might talk you down and so on.
>>20450704That reminded me of one other thing.I'm pretty sure she hasn't told her friends about me at all. What does this mean.Then again, mine just know that I asked her for some uni related school stuff
>>20450693You're overthinking things so much, way too much. >>20450729>Overthinking>Of course it would be weird, even weirder if I bring my friends. It has to be spontaneous.I'm just going to try and break down how much extra work you're making for yourself>Of courseWhy of course? Hard isn't the same as weird. It might be more intimidating for you, but it's not strange or unusual to have to approach a group of women to talk to a singular woman. They are the herdish gender.>Even weirder if I bring my friends.Not weirder, but defo a bad show. What are they going to do there? Why are they even there? Pointless all of it. Show you're a man by having the confidence. It will help you grow some courage>Has to be XNothing ever has to be "something" for it to work. You're not prince charming, she's not a disney princess, and this isn't a story you're writing out in cold blood. Messy and heartfelt is the closest you can come to "has to be X" but there are plenty of cold unions between people where they think through everything and plan out their lives to the dot. I just personally wouldn't choose that life for myself or anyone I know.TL;DR Just go for it. There's a reason you drink for courage. It wipes away all the what-ifs and worries and just lets you go for the gold. It should be fun!
>>20451018I know I'm overthinking, I'm always overthinking everything in life, and I mean EVERYTHING.Going up to a group of girls all by yourself is an ultimate extrovert Chad's move, that's just not me. I can not do that. Do you see how much I'm overthinking with 1 girl? Multiply it by 6 for all friends and her. I would've had to please everyone.
Last bump before I hit the bed, thanks everyone, I'll check again tomorrow.
It's kinda cute but you should use your planing / strategy ability for something better
>>204495161. ask her if she likes sushi2. she says yes3. ask her if she wants to get sushi4. ?????5. profit?
>>20452210No use for it outside of this but thanks for bumping>>20452236Well that's basically asking her out and I already said many times why I can't do it yet
>>20452259There's always use for it you just have to find the right moments. People that are smart in that way have it hard to show that they are smart but when the opportunity comes people will be glad to have you
I see you didn't get many answers since yesterday when I left so I'm gonna bump you once more OP.
Update us on what's going on, did you talk to her again ?
>>20452930>>20452950Hey, thanks for keeping it alive.No I haven't I'm giving her a little bit of space to breath, the thing happened yesterday and it was a Friday which seems fitting, now she has time to think about it and think about me for the whole weekend making her like me more ( ? )
>>20452993That's probably the best thing you could've done.
>>20449516I’m proud of you
>>20453603OP here, for what exactly?
>>20453614Cause you planned, acted and won
>>20453753It wasn't a victory if she found it creepy.What's the next step?
>>20453772She doesn’t know what happened. She didn’t notice. Next step is asking her out. It’s the best option, but you gotta know how to seduce her.
>>20453795Well I've no idea but I've made a plan for walking with her again this Friday so that might work.
>>20453804what’s the plan?
>>20453823This Friday I'm really going that way so on like Thursday I'll text her about some uni stuff and then ask her when her classes end ( I already know this ) then I'll ask for her to wait for me. The thing is I pull away even earlier than last time so that may be good.
>>20453844I’ll pray for you
>>20453888Thank you anon
JUST TALK TO HER RETARD, RIGHT NOW
>>20454710Literally the worst thing that could happen is she rejects you, and what then? You go back to how you were a month ago? So what? You won't go back to it because you now have more experience
>>20449516Reading OP's story brought me a memory from HS>be me>had this thing going with a girl since started HS>"peak" year was sophomore, we used to talk everyday and sometimes take the same bus>never went far since 2autistic2havegf>slowly losing contact with her because of this>senior year>walking to HS with younger sister as always>5 blocks to get to HS>see her walking on the other side>whatthefuck.jpg (her parents take her to HS in car) >finally reach us>"Wow, what are you doing walking here?">"Uhm, I don't know anon">avoid the awkwardness trying to engage her in our conversationNever thought this was that weird until now. I actually liked her but never had the chance to get to know her well because of insecurities/never thought she was that interested on me. Am I dumb?
>>20449754Dear god do NOT do this.If you did that to me I'd be so embarrassed for you and would never talk to you again. I'd actually avoid the shit out of you lmao
>>20454900Adding,Just fucking ask her out. It's not that hard. You're making it harder by over thinking and over analysing everything.Literally, pick up your phone now, and message her>"hey x, it was nice chatting with you yesterday. Do you want to grab coffee sometime?"It's literally as easy as that. You've already given her a day of "space" to "think about everything", so waiting even longer is only gonna hurt your chances with her. Just man the fuck up and ask her out already.
OPJust fucking ask her.Your not fucking proposing for marriage, just to meet up somewhere. God.Your making me sick with the amount of thinking your putting into something which is so simple and unimportant.
>>20454871You're not dumb.Well it's not that weird, just look at my situation haha that's weird >>20454900>>20454955I'm definitely not gonna do what the other femanon said. Her scenario seems like an anime and would never work in real life and would bring more bad than good.Well I've already committed to giving her time it's too late now, she'll have this entire weekend to think it through, I'll continue smiling at her from Monday on but from this point on I'll smile at her more and not just the first time we see each other.
>>20455578It's just that I wasted my one perfect chance to ask her out that day. I don't want to do it over text, maybe when the opportunity arises but I don't want to start a conversation with her solely for asking her out.
>>20449516Just do the same shit again. And again. Maybe find a reason to have that route. Like you take walks or Somthing. Stalking didn't even exist back in the day. Your doing shit exactly right.
>>20456040Doubt I can get away with it again, at least for now.