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You're a wizard with access to owlbear-tier magics capable of combining animals in order to create new beasts. Unfortunately, your rivals also have access to such magics and you absolutely will not get along. Soon, your conflict will span the globe.

What combination of animals would create the most useful troops/traps/soldiers/rations during a Chimera World War?
>>
Canadian Honey Badgergeese
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>>67202225
Combine a Chimp and a Bat for maximum nighttime ambushes
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Hippopythons
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I would combine a man with a horse and teach him archery. I would call this creature... horseman archer.
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>>67202225
I would give a chicken the legs, claws, and eggs of an ostrich. Big enough to ride into battle, badass enough to fight on its own against unarmored troops, lays eggs the size of a child's head, and can be cooked in a hundred ways, each tastier than the last.
>>
>basic footsoldier
Ape/Komodo Dragon. Your basic soldiers need some level of intelligence to enforce your will, especially as most humans are probably not going to be willing to work with wizards whose pissing contest is dragging the world into war. The Komodo Dragon part is to make them larger than usual, and to give them poison, making fighting them obnoxious. As a side note, these are basically Orcs.

>elite footsoldier
Ape/Mantis Shrimp. It's like arming people with shotguns in the middle ages. It's just not going to be fair.

>Special Weapons
Bat/Poison Dart Frog. Release these assholes over the enemy, point them in the right direction, and watch everything get poisoned. Like bat bombs, but with poison instead.

>Shock And Awe
Elephant/Bombardier Beetle. Gas some fucks. Less useful than a weapon of terror, but damn will it terrify.
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>>67202225
Bearded Vulture + Crocodile. It eats bones, and it has the bite force to easily eat right through them. Combined with a sharp beak instead of teeth and the ability to death-roll, it's here to chomp right into people's ribcages and then shred them for lunch.
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>>67202225
Cheetah+great white shark+shrimp+wasp
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>>67202419
I don't think the body of a chicken can support a soldier riding it, but the thought of a chicken with long ostrich legs is fun.
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>>67202442
Going to need an artists impression.
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>>67202442
That seems like a terrible animal. Cheetahs have basically zero stamina, white sharks have some special brand of autism, and shrimps and wasps are pretty damn small.
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Tortoise with a wasp nest as its shell.
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>>67202426
if you can bring in plants, this shit gets worse

>WMD
Japanese Knotweed/Kudzu. Incredibly hard to remove, grows through buildings, and grows at breakneck speed (for plants). Drop a few sprigs of these in an enemy city and in a year or so there's not going to be a city.

similarly,
>Area Denial
kudzu/gympie gympie. this probably counts as the mother of all warcrimes, but who cares? You're a wizard.
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>>67202426
Komodo dragons suck. Their poison takes literally days to kill you. Not useful in combat.
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>>67202442
Why the damn shrimp?
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>>67202515
He probably thinks all shrimps are pistol shrimps, and that the thing pistol shrimps do works anywhere but thousands of meters underwater.
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>>67202503
of course it's not useful in combat! the goal is to cause serious injuries that are hard to heal. Even if you win, you'll probably die, but in the meantime you'll weigh the enemy army down. Slow acting poisons like that aren't super common in the animal kingdom.

>>67202497
and of course, a few meme animals

>ammunition
bamboo/inland taipan. Naturally grown bitey arrows, with enough poison to kill over a hundred men.

>archers
hippo/kingfisher. they spit large bolts of water at anything that gets nearby. Also, huge physical threats. heavy units of a sort.
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>>67202225
Body of a tiger, the head of a woodpecker. The worlds largest cat barreling at you with a head that can slam into your chest at Mach 5. Add flight & aquatic capabilities as needed
>>
Anticores

Gorgorrillas

Hawktopus
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I combine humans and cats to create a race of diplomat-assassin catgirls that will treat with, seduce, and then murder the other wizards.

Now if only I could get them to stop leaving the heads in my shoe closet I'd be golden.
>>
goosowaries and niggasps are all I need to destroy the globe
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>>67202426
Found the commie. They are obsessed with Apemen soldiers
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>>67202419
Why not ride an Ostrich?
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>>67202225
The aggression of geese
the durability of wolverines/ honey badgers
The bite force of Alligators
The teeth of bears and courgars
The claws of a cassowary
The venom of the platypus, and rattlesnake
The kicking force of a angry ass mule
The breeding potential of rabbits
The tusks of a boar and horn of a narwhal
All slammed into the basic frame of a human being/ape

I call them, Rape-tors
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>>67202399
Ah yes, the dreaded Horsemarcher
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>>67202225
Giant pistol shrimps who can fly and multiply like roaches.
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>>67203258
The pistol shrimp sonic boom only works underwater.
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Anti-freeze toad blood, redundant extra vitals and multiple brain hubs all throughout the body like some manner of super-advanced insect, bony armor plates like a pangolin, and raccoon-level intelligence/fine dexterity with dog social behavior. All of this, mind you, is installed into the chassis of a gorilla.

What you get is a virtually unkillable slab of meat, with tool-use combjned with massive strength, paired with a bizarre, alien intellect that functions somewhere between a sort of built-in peer review and a chain of military command. Pose them with a strategic challenge? You've got a dozen different brains with some measure of proficiency on the subject looking over the problem and analyzing possible solutions. Get them into battle? Head brain takes command, but shooting them in the head only slows their reflexes as center torso picks up the reins from their fallen comrade. And best of all, they feel community bonds like people do, but quickly develop loyalty to a pack leader & maintain it.
>>
Warthog + Wolf for basic land troops
Warthog + Elephant for heavy support on land
Sea Lion+ Dolphin for Aquatic troops
Swan + Sperm Whale for aquatic support
Wasp + Eagle for basic air troops
Eagle + Spitting cobra for air support
Owl + Octopus for spies
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>>67202225
I will breed huge turtles in symbiosis with Sandbox Trees on their carapace. Imagine Venusaur if Venusaur was covered head to toe in poisonous spikes and constantly dropped explosive fruits
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>>67202225
Flu + ebola + rabies
Boom, instant zombie apocalypse.
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>>67202789

Not him, but the chicken combination is necessary to ensure a constant supply of eggs every day. Regular ostriches lay like a single fertilized egg once every blue moon.
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A giant squid with six sturdy mountain goat legs ringing the beak, with a set of shark jaws at the end of each tentacle and an eel's electric emitters along the length of each tentacle. Also, thick hide like a rhinoceros, chromataphores like a cuttlefish, and heavy elytrum like a beetle hiding wings that give it a short but agile fly speed.
And I'd finish it off by enchanting some to be able to teleport once a day.

I'd also make a big ole' hippo with no jaws that photosynthesizes all of it's energy and draws nutrients from the ground with root-like feet. It serves as a food source for my Young of Shub-Niggurath.
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>>67202225
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSW0zDdRv4U
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>>67202225
Tardigrade/cockroach, Wasp, Blue-ringed octopus

A swarm of indestructible, flying death machines
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Crocorilla - The strength of 10 retarded apes, if 10 retarded apes had the head and tail of a crocodile and the ability to stay underwater for long periods of time.

Poison Dart Wasps - a single swarm could wipe out a small village in an afternoon their venom is paralytic and highly deadly

Horse Sharks - I give sharks efficient terrestrial bodies, I do not think of the consequences

Chameleon Snakes - oh fuck I can't remember where I put these
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>>67202225
Honey bees combined with silkmothes, they reinforce their combs with the silk. Boost my economy with the honey, wax and silk.
I'd try various plant combos to create fast growing, disease and pest resistant crops to feed my people.
Various climate appropriate combinations of domestic dogs and creatures such as horses, cammels or elk for sturdy, smart mounts.
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Can I enlarge wasps, so that I can put honeybadger heads on them?
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>>67202379
Wha..what would that even be?
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>>67202456
>>67202442
Quick little doodle
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>>67202225
You know, back in the old days we just posted screenshots from this game
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>>67204031
One day they will make a remastered or spiritual successor to this beauty.
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Africanized japanese hony-hornet.

I will die, but so too shall all the rest of the world
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>>67203975
oh holy fuck
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>>67202225
If I can ensure they obey me, then just combine fleas and any burrowing animal.
When your chimeras literally burst open like a spider's egg sac... you might think twice about disobeying me.
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Isnt this just pokemon
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Vulture bee + Asian giant hornet. Not only are they massive killing machines that sting you to death, they actively desire flesh so they can take it back to the hive to make gore honey.
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The black plague, blue whale and hippos.
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>>67203951
Long hippo
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>>67205476
>combination of animals
The plague is not a gosh darn animal.
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>>67206171
We're talking about MAGIC here let him have his sick whale-hippo.
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>>67206258
A Whipple, if you will.
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Octospiders
Mosquitowasps
Cat-girls
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Wasps with box jellyfish venom which are genetically programmed to attack anything exposed to a specific, artificially synthesized Wasp Infuriator™ pheromone suitable for spraying on things and/or using in traps. Alternately, army ants with similar modifications.

"Stage Tree Kudzu Landmines".
https://books.google.com/books?id=lO_L4a9xKz8C&pg=PA120&lpg=PA120&dq=stage+tree+larry+niven&source=bl&ots=r-BAWxXBaF&sig=ACfU3U0tML0fj134jXgwMJo_QS1TZH-MHQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj-zrWBw63jAhXFmVkKHVsYCJc4ChDoATAHegQIChAB#v=onepage&q=stage%20tree%20larry%20niven&f=false

Kudzu modified to produce poison ivy and/or poison oak toxins.

Grass modified to produce poison ivy and/or poison oak toxins.

Various species of common agricultural crops, modified to produce poison ivy and/or poison oak toxins while still being close enough to their ancestral species to be cross-fertile, pollen for which would be distributed over enemy territory via cropduster.
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An elf female with a horse penis
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Archerfish+hippo
Impossible creatures was great.
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>>67202426
Komodo dragons do not have poison. Their mouths are just so septic that bites from them become infected almost immediately.
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>>67206430
You are working off old info. More recent studies have shown that their mouths aren't as much a cesspit of bacteria as once thought and that they seem to have glads that produce something but the exact mechanics aren't fully understood yet. The toxic proteins seem to expedite bloodloss and the onset of shock.
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Pugs x Piranhas
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>>67206687
chihuahua/army ants
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>>67206687
So ready to kill that their hearts give in after a few minutes
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>>67202225
I played this videogame.

Whale bears and scorpion bats.
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>>67202225
Coyote pit viper. Air drop these fucks behind enemy lines and let them be hyper aggressive, fast breeding pack creatures
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>>67203975
holy shit
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Snake Kudzu
Just plant it and slowly cover an entire area in angry snakes
kudzu can grow up to a foot a day, so this is going to very quickly make any territory worthless.
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>>67202225
According to Impossible Creatures, Moose-Lobsters
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>>67202225
blue ringed octopus wasps
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>>67202225
Crocodile/Chameleon/Komodo Dragon ambush predators.
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>>67202742
How do I sign up to become one of those other wizards?
But please send a newbie. I don't want the seduction part to be over too fast.
>>
>>
extremely poisonous jellyfish + mosquito

then never ever go outside again
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>>67203543
Chickens lay eggs regularly, but not every day. The best layers generally lay 270-300 eggs a year. This of course assumes that they're is a safe, stable environment with access to the proper nutrition (hard enough to do on a farm, much less on the march).

Ostrich lay 3-10 eggs once a year (1-4 hens to a bull, so 3-40 eggs per year). Ostriches are highly territorial and extremely aggressive. Basically 10' tall murderbirds.

A better bet would be to cross a chicken with an emu. Emu are much less territorial and pretty passive with humans so long as you avoid their chicks. Emu hens lay clutches of 5 - 10 eggs (each about twice the size of a large avocado or half the size of an ostrich egg) once a year (1 hen to 1-5 bulls, so 5 - 50 eggs per year). Emu meat tastes like sirloin steak and the fat makes an amazing oil full of vitamins, minerals and can be used as a good, a medicine, for cooking and as a topical treatment for leather goods to keep them supple and prevent cracking and dryrot.

A chicken/emu/centipede chimera would be best. 200 drumsricks, 500 lbs of breast meat and hundreds of eggs per year with about as much aggression as a mule. Of course, they'll view gnomes and halflings as a food source, but there's always a drawback to everything.
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>>67203975
i am suitably impressed. that looks like a real bitch.
>>67202225
if i was a wizard that powerful i'd combine cats with girls and let my dipshit rival have the stupid planet.
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>>67208211
>Of course, they'll view gnomes and halflings as a food source, but there's always a drawback to everything.
And kender, gods willing.
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>>67204111
You can just buy the original, you know.
https://www.gog.com/game/impossible_creatures
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>>67206308
Will it stop people from squeezing the charmin?
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>>67202225
Rhinoceros + spider just imagine on off brand Salvador Dali LSD hallucination With venomous fangs stomping around in packs.
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Bearsharks
Checkmate atheists
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>>67202225
Bears with the pack mentality of wolves and the camouflage ability of cuttlefish.
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>>67202225
If I have access to skeletons, then Brontosaurus + Ant is nigh-invincible.
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What's the best sensor pet?
>Start with a bat
>Mantis shrimp eyes
>Pit organ from a snake (heat detection)
>Elephant's sense of smell
>Shark's electromagnetic sense
>Johnston's organ from a fly (motion detection + more precise flight)
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>>67208642
But Brontosaurus did not exist.
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>>67208896
i almost went to argue with you, but then i googled it. I had brachiosaurus mixed up with brontos.
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>>67208980
I never understand why so many people get them mixed up. As far as sauropodes go, Brachio and Brontosaurus look completely different.
In any case, what you posted there is Apatosaurus.
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>>67202225
Well let's see...wolves+sharks+cuttlefish camo as your spec ops
bears+pangolin+crab as your basic troop
elephant+pangolin+ibex as siege weapon.
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>>67208485
This is how the world ends.
This is how the world ends.
This is how the world ends.
This is how the world ends.
Not with a bang, but with a roaring howl out of nowhere.
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>>67202800
You're a monster anon
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>>67203975
That's some scary-ass art.
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>>67202225
bearowls.

think about it - they're busted as shit.

bears that fly and make zero noise while doing so.
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>>67203975
I love the little shrimp arms.
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>>67202225
Horses with Croc scales and head for natural armour and bite
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Whales with hippopotamus temperaments and armor-plated heads for ramming. Extremely violently territorial.
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>>67208211
This kind of post is only seen on /tg/.
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>>67202371
Alright, witch of the west
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>>67208211
>Emu are much less territorial and pretty passive with humans so long as you avoid their chicks
Wait didn't they defeated Australia in a war?
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>>67209057
>elephant + Pangolin + Ibex
Not Elephant + Rhino + Ibex?

>>67208642
Still susceptible to poisons.

>>67206950
Meh, any firebreathing or frostbreathing critter solves this problem.

>>67206789
But can I get Nightstalker Squeezin's out of them?

Yellowjackets +Honey Bees + Irukujandi Jellyfish + Coocoo birds.
They look like honeybees, sting the shit out of anything that comes near the hive & make honey. Their stinger is unbarbed, and the venom is often fatal (pain-induced heart attack) and is so debilitating the victims will often plead for death for up to 3 days. They infiltrate other bee's hives to lay eggs, which will hatch and will eventually kill off and replace the other bees.

A single hive can effectively incapacitate/ wipe out a city's defenders in a single day
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>>67209344
Yeah, but Australia was the aggressor.
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>>67209344
Yes, but mainly through passive resistance. Emu are so friendly that they will often sexually imprint on their human handlers. The only time emu get really aggressive is the first couple of months after their eggs hatch and the chicks aren't old enough to fend for themselves. They apparently don't consider eggs to be young, so a human can just pick the eggs up and walk off with them.
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Human, gorilla, wild pig and bull. Stout, sturdy creatures with horns and tusks, easily domesticated but smart enough to wield weaponry and follow orders. Breed a ruler caste with more human than animal, and a slave caste with more animal than human.
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>Chickens with three legs for an extra drumstick.

>A house sized human eye that explodes and spreads gross eye goo everywhere.

>A new type of person that has no moral compass and has an owl head
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>>67206630
This anon is right.

>Although previous studies proposed that Komodo dragon saliva contains a variety of highly septic bacteria that would help to bring down prey, research in 2013 suggested that the bacteria in the mouths of Komodo dragons are ordinary and similar to those found in other carnivores. They actually have surprisingly good mouth hygiene. As Bryan Fry put it: "After they are done feeding, they will spend 10 to 15 minutes lip-licking and rubbing their head in the leaves to clean their mouth ... Unlike people have been led to believe, they do not have chunks of rotting flesh from their meals on their teeth, cultivating bacteria." Nor do Komodo dragons wait for prey to die and track it at a distance, as vipers do; observations of them hunting deer, boar and in some cases buffalo reveal that they kill prey in less than half an hour, using their dentition to cause shock and trauma.

>The observation of prey dying of sepsis would then be explained by the natural instinct of water buffalos, who are not native to the islands where the Komodo dragon lives, to run into water after escaping an attack. The warm, faeces-filled water would then cause the infections. The study used samples from 16 captive dragons (10 adults and six neonates) from three US zoos

The sepsis is a misconception, water buffaloes ran into designated shitting water
>>
Not Human + Bear + Pig + Tv's Patrick Duffy
>the absolute state of /tg/
>fa/tg/uys, I am disappoint
>>
Infiltrator: Human + Cuttlefish + Mimic Octopus + Lyrebird
>>
Spideer, can graze on any surface.
Pigonkey, discount Pegasus.
Rabeetle, fights with sick-ass horns and accepts crumpled aluminum foil as payment.
Monkodile, turn the trees into your moat.
Jellymole, nothing can sneak up behind it as it digs.
Peliboar, mobile garbage disposal.
Hummingwhale, no longer need to visit the ocean to hear whale songs.
Bearaffe, terrorizes prey regardless of height.
Rattloceros, poisons AND tramples.
Felimeleon, cat with augmented stealth capabilities.
Craneroo, able to kick from great heights.
Bog, bat-dog, would be a sick pet.
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>>67202225
HIV+Common cold
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>>67203975
Damn anon, you made that look awesome.
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>>67209288
teehee we're so wacky XD
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>>67210402
Fuck off.
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>>67202497
counter with goats
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>>67210443
you fuck off faggot
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Red-Tailed Hawk
Tick
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Keep it classic.
>>
Brain would be a mix of human and Portia genus jumping spiders for optimal layout and computational efficiency. Lungs would be something of a custom job primarily based on avian tubes and air sacs, but with each set of sacs having their own tubes and respiratory openings for less dead air and necessary blood circulation. Said sacs would also have two sets of openings cycling air via a valve that presses from one side of the sac to the other so when one nasal pair breaths in, the other breaths out in a constant volume lossless system that allows for greater incorporation into skeletal function due to greater external stasis. I am unfortunately autistic enough to have similar plans for every single bodily system down to cell plans already developed, but typing all of them out would be too sad to contemplate.
>>
>>67202225
Whale + Chameleon.

Don't question it.
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>>67211271
I question it.
Why?
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>>67211338
Don't.
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>>67203975

Known by many different names by the peoples of the world; sharkwasps, buzzers, stingbeasts, "angry yellow bastards", just to name a few, the notoriety of these infamous insectoid creatures is well established. However, very little is known of their origins. Though most of the naturalists and scholars in the known world agree that these creatures cannot be mere products of nature, due to the strange mixture of traits they possess, ranging from gills, to both internal and external skeletal structures, mammalian lungs, 4 chambered heart, developed brains, dagger sized venomous stinger in their rear, how they actually came about is under heavy dispute. Some scholars suggest that they are creations of a spiteful god, sent to punish the mortal races for their sins, others insist that the malice and madness necessary for someone to conceive of crafting such an abomination can only be found among the ranks of wizards. It is however certain, that whoever created them, either lost control over them ages ago, or never had any control of them to begin with.

Reaching approximately to the hip of a man in height, individually the sharkwasp is already a dangerous beast. They can move with stunning speed on land, their spring like legs propelling them many times faster than even the finest racehorse, though thankfully only for a brief moment. Usually, that moment is enough though, for if a sharkwasp is able to close the distance, it has multiple deadly weapons at its disposal, which it can use to easily kill it's victims. It's jaws can crush bone and even tear apart chainmail like it was mere cloth, its claws cut trough flesh with sickening ease, and the stinger on it's rear carries a venom that can kill a grown man in minutes. Though they possess wings, thankfully, they are incapable of prolonged flight. These flings do however, allow them to extend the length of their leaps quite significantly, and even scale cliff sides and even castle walls worryingly swiftly.
>>
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>>67211725
What makes these creatures truly deadly is however the fact that they are social, and live and hunt in groups, much like wasps they resemble.

At the heart of a sharkwasp hive, is the queen, which is significantly larger than the members of it's brood. The number of sharkwasps in a typical hive ranges from a couple of dozen to even few hundred, depending on the environment, availability of food, and competition with other predators in the region.
A small blessing stemming from the peculiar reproductive cycle of the Sharkwasps is their need for water in which they lay their eggs and where they spend the larval stage of their life. Thus, dry and arid regions of the world are relatively, if not completely free of the infestations of these creatures.

The sharkwasp hive typically is constructed on a bank of a river or a lake. The young queen begins by digging a tunnel on the waterfront, mixing her saliva and mud into hard resin like substance to solidify the walls of her nest. The shape of this tunnel allows it to be partially flooded, leaving a dry pocket at it's rear in which the queen gathers food, while the flooded section is where she lays her first batch of eggs. She spends her first months protecting her eggs and hunting food which she will then feed to her young larvae. As the larvae develop, they undergo a metamorphosis into nymphs, which are swift swimmers and capable of hunting their own prey in the body of water to which their nest is connected. After approximately 3 months in this nymph stage, they molt into their adult, winged and landbound form, ready to defend their nest and hunt prey on land.
As the brood grows, so does their nest, turning from a mere flooded tunnel to an imposing citadel made out of mud and resin, which have been known to sometimes rival the size of a small castle. At this late stage of development, a sharkwasp hive should be considered a major threat to the settlements of mortal races within a hundred mile radius.
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>>67212127
12/10
Would send a mid level group of adventurers after.
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>>67212164
Glad you like it
>>
>>67202225
What tier?
>>
>>
Rat-men, they'll do all the footwork and I'll just chill out in my wizard tower casting gay spells
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>>67202225
Spider/bats, because Weaponized Arachnophobia

Bear/wasps, because what's more angry than an actual bugbear?

Snake/Snake/Snake, Where it's just three different types of snake blended together

Goat/Bearded Vultures, eating anything in their way

Cuttlefish/Crab, and my nearest can of embiggening juice, because why not
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>>67206128
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I'll take these two combined together.The intelligence, pack mentality and girth/size of a gorilla paired with the excellent vision and lethality of the mantis shrimp.
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>>67202225
Spitting cobra/vampire bat was OP in this game
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>>67211725
Colorized
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>>67218965
Really great. I love it.
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>>67202225
>>67202442
>>67203975
>>67211725
>>67212127
>>67218965
>>
are we allowing fantasy creatures?

lizardman/satyr
gargoyle/gnome
tiger/genie or ghost
ettin/dragon

actually ettin/anything is good
>>
Autistic person and giraffe.
>>
>>67202225
Mantis shrimp/peregrine falcon/starfish. High speed, hit hard, cut one up and it only makes more.
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>>67219018
>gargoyle/gnome
So...gnargoyle?

>tiger/genie
This is just a Rakshasha.

>ettin/dragon
>actually ettin/anything is good
Huge, two-headed anything...yeah, that's pretty fucking terrifying.
>>
>>67219279
>Huge, two-headed anything...yeah, that's pretty fucking terrifying.
What about ettin and swan?
>>
For war
poison dart frog+cockroach+mosquito+starfish+octopus
poison fast breeding invisible and you think it goes squish it just makes more if i can add magic then +salamander to fight off fire attacks

then build island wales and chicken trees to hide in the ocean
>>
Flying irukandji.
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>>67203951
A snake with the bite strength and jaw size of a hippo. Perfect for espionage, it would crush your skull and then devour the body whole.
>>
Cheetah, Cuttlefish and Black Widow spider.

The end result would be a creature that can camoflage, pounce on you and inject a deadly venom, then sprint away at high speed, possibly even up vertical surfaces or underwater.
>>
>>67202379
I see your long hippo and raise you the hippipede, both long and many legged hippo.
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>>67219451
>Perfect for espionage, it would crush your skull and then devour the body whole.
Is... is that what espionage is?
>>
>>67209991
This is not how you greentext
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>>67219495
>quick way to execute someone and hide the body
>can bring the remains back whole so you can cast Speak with Dead and interrogate them
>very few people will notice a snake moving through grass scoping out a perimeter

You have to be creative when you're doing espionage in a world of magic.
>>
>>67219729
Too bad that much of the indie scene is already becoming an incestuous little goodboi club.
>>
Sneed+Chuck
A Sneeck, a being that jumps at your face with his erect penis out to feed you with his acidic seed that causes your body to start to melt. After you are incapacitated he proceeds to fuck every orifice until you have been broke down to a pink formerly human slurry that he sucks up.
>>
>>67220065
Sneeck's Seeck and Feeck
Formerly Chuds
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>>67211725
Damn this is straight outta the stormlight archives
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>>67202225
Whale-crap-bat
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>>67210127
I dunno, once you have a cuttlefish I'd rather go for something like a blue-ringed octopus so they can have a deadly offensive weapon that can be used for assassination.
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>>67203975
What an absolute lad.
>>
Bearcat

These motherfuckers were great.
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Cactus+Crocodile+Rottweiler
>>
Hammerhead shark, hydra, unicorn, and a sprinkle of mole for no reason in particular.
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>>67202225
I shall combine the bloodworm and the hyena. I know not why, but it must be done.
>>
Mosquitoes that implant parasitic larva. The victim goes on with their life until weeks after the original bite, they explode in a cloud of mosquitoes and an empty skin.
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I feel it is my duty as a wizard to look upon the owlbear and improve the design of that fabled wizard of yore. To that end. I shall take an Owlbear and a Griffon and mix in some nice hot Monkeydrake action for a superior horror I might levy upon those who are late to my tower with their food deliveries.
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>>67206789
Wouldn't they squeeze their own bones when constricting prey?
>>
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Cheetah for sprint speed, Crocodile for burst speed, Greyhound Dog for enduring speed and a Moose for fuck you speed at great size.
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>>67219189
Couldn't quite figure how to incorporate starfish to the creature given it's radically different morphology (both mantis shrimps and falcons at least have bilateral symmetry).
----

Usually, only a flash of brilliant colors and the flutter of wings is the only warning a victim of Zakerian Jewel receives, before the attack. These half avian, half crustacean creatures hunt both animals as well as mortals by viciously striking their heads with their powerful, club like frontal limbs. The power of these strikes is further increased by the incredible speed these flying predators can reach, as they swoop down towards their prey from the sky. The impact of their clubs is known to have caved in even helmets made out of high grade steel, and the damage they can do to the head of an unarmored man or beast is gruesome. Shattering the skulls of their victims, the first part of their kills the Jewels eat usually is the brain.

According to Zakerian folklore, these creatures were first bred millenia ago by the tyrannical wizard kings ruling over the lush river valleys of the land of Zake. Fearful of any would be upstart mages and wizards ousting them from their positions of power, the Wizard kings used their magical powers to create the flying beasts for the express purpose of hunting down lesser wizards and magic users. It is said that a Zakerian jewel can detect magic from over thirty miles away, and if given for example, a cloth used by a mage, these flying beasts can track that specific mage even if the sample is decades old.

Though the Zakerian Wizard Kings are long gone, their creations still exist and have spread far beyond the boundaries of Zake. They live both in the wild, as well as tamed pets in service of witchhunters and even mages, who wish to keep competition at an arm's length.
In nature, these creatures are often found around rivers, as they lay their eggs within the water foliage, and spend the first 5 years of their lives as waterbound larvae.
>>
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>>67203975
>>
>>67223670
Wizards put on trial for crimes against humanity when?
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>>67202399
Not sure if that name is unique enough to be a defendable IP. How about 'anthrohoof arrowcaster'?
>>
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Pangolin scales make anything better.
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>>67211725
>>67212127
Made this quick little doodle of the development cycle of the sharkwasp. The idea of this critter has really inspired me today.

The sharkwasps mature very quickly. It takes roughly a month for them to hatch from their eggs, and the larvae only require active feeding from the adult members of their hive for about a month in turn. After they molt into their first nymph form, they can feed themselves by hunting small fish and other small water critters. Despite of this, these young nymphs still mostly reside within the flooded tunnels of their hive, feeding on both the refuse, as well as scraps of food the adult members of the hive leave behind.
After about a month or so, they have grown to their secondary nymph stage, and venture to the open waters surrounding their hive, and spend their time hunting down anything they can catch.
During the next month, they grow rapidly in size, and their front and back legs start to develop, first encased within fin-like extensions of their exoskeleton that help them in steering themselves as they swim.
After the third month, they molt once more, their four fins breaking open and revealing two pairs of powerful limbs, which they use to pull themselves out of their watery homes. In dry land, or in dry sections of their hives, they pump fresh blood into their new wings, and harden their adult exoskeleton, the final stages of their metamorphosis to their adult form. This process takes approximately a day, after which they are ready to hunt with the rest of the adult sharkwasps.
>>
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Pholcidae (Cellar Spider/ Daddy Longlegs) + Japanese spider crab + Whip Scorpion + Praying Mantis
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>>67202442
>>67203975
>>67211725
>>67212127
>>67218965
>>67224634
Absolute madman, that's fucking amazing!
>>
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Ok losers, if you're so good at theory crafting monsters, cross House Centipede-kun with something.
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>>67219314
Hydra and swan instead
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>>67218965
Thank you for the nightmares
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>>67225396
You're welcome m8.
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>>67219618
You are not the boss of me.
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>>67221375
Pit vipers aren't constrictors.

>>67225227
Lernian Hydra + Swan + Ettin
A giant flying honk with an infinite number of heads
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>>67224634
After further thinking, I realize that a growth cycle that fast makes no sense on a creature of that size, even if it is magical, thus here are some revised numbers.
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>>67222867
Damn, that is amazing, thanks.
>>
>>67222867
Fuck man, these are great
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>>67219478
>Cheetah, Cuttlefish and Black Widow spider.
>The end result would be a creature that can camoflage, pounce on you and inject a deadly venom, then sprint away at high speed, possibly even up vertical surfaces or underwater.
That's literally just an octupus, anon.
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>>67225174
Mohammed Ali
Alternatively, if you're not feeling as ambitious, cross it with an Africanized honey bee
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>>67220065
Fuck off back to your containment board
>>
>>67211247
I think humans already have most of the Portia hacks; we break down problems too complex to handle all at once and use our physical environment to record the extra stuff while we concentrate on solving each part using writing. The respiratory system thing seems similar to something I thought up when I was running an alien world biology survey game. I visualized it as kind of like a heart pumping blood.
>I am unfortunately autistic enough to have similar plans for every single bodily system down to cell plans already developed, but typing all of them out would be too sad to contemplate.
Fuck you, I want to see this.
>>
>>67225174
Horse
Sleipnir in Norse mythos had 8 legs and was the fastest horse around. So just give that fucker all the horse legs you want and badabing you got a medieval organic car
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>>67226555
Just fucking do it, trips-kun. No harm in endulging your own autism if you have fun with it. Sounds rad as fuck.
>>
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>>67210161
>Peliboar
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>>67226856
>not making it a griffinoid
Missed opportunity, but still cute.
>>
Coconut crab + gorilla

maximum crushing power
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>>67210161
>Bog, bat-dog, would be a sick pet.
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My espionage specialists are the Tapeworm Batmen: advanced biological surveillance devices, delivered to hosts through the simple act of eating and capable of recording the host's every sound, then having those recordings deposited in the host's excretions inside miniature data storage heads. The brains of the heads are consequently collected by the brainflies, who will deliver them to my facilities for decryption and analysis.
>>
>>67220859
Bearcats are a real thing. They're a large weasel-like arboreal creature also known as a binturong. Often look morose.
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>>67227041
cute
>>
Ladybug+some other animal with specific name+ pirana
Just so the combination would be lasagna
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>>67226587
>Horse with eight legs
The only question is, do we want it to be bitey, or stingy?

>>67227041
If you use a giant fruit bat, it basically looks like a regular dog with loose skin between its legs. Your pic needs more skin IMO, like a flying squirrel.
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>>67226993
Extremely rough quick sketch before heading to bed.
Will finish this tomorrow.
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>>67226856
He looks so smug, I love it.
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>>67228516
>Spikewolf Hornet
Botfly + Giant Japanese Hornet + Pufferfish+ Wolf

They lay eggs in the flesh of a living host. When they hatch, the host becomes a mobile hive for the adult. The adults are territorial pack hunters and each sting is enough to kill a hundred grown humans.

If the host tries to kill the Spikewolf Hornets after they reach the nymph stage, they kill him and eventually seek out a new host for their eggs. If he lives with them for a year, the close contact brings about an immunity to their venom. It's even possible for a host to train his hive to obey simple commands.
>>
Dolphin + polar bear.
Extremely intelligent, powerful, skillful and a perfect swimmer.
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>>67227150
Top lel
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>>67228527

Terrifying. The familiarity of an ape with the strangeness of a crab
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>>67208284
Same here, but i wouldnt stop at only catgirls. id go full noahs ark and mix girls with every cute animal in existance.
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>>67228527
Add some scaly foot gastropod to this or anything in this thread
>can literally grow an iron sulfide shell
>immune to heat
>>
>>67219010
Thread is now archived.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/67202225/
Remember to upvote.
>>
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ive thought of quite a few chimeras that would be optimal livestock.

>chicken-sheep
produces feathers, wool, milk, meat, and eggs. the cock-rams can be a bit oirnery tho.

>cow-horse
strong dependable mount. bull-steers can be aggressive but could easily be trained for war. cow-mares produce milk. all good meat.

>silkworm-bees
produces silk, honey, and wax. nests are HUGE because silk + wax would be durable as fuck building material. extra effort to separate these two.
>>
>>67228529
>Strike me down if you wish, for I have already won.
>>
Hawk head for excellent eyesight. Tiger claws for clawing. Grasshopper legs for great jumping.
>>
Fungus cats
sleep or poison spores
optional cheetah variety to increase spread
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>>67203284
Sonic boom yes, but physical contact with murder sticks of a shrimp the size of a bear still would murder most things not made out of solid steel. And would probably dent the steel.
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>>67202225
Warble Flies that inject box jellyfish venom in their maggot stage.

I go straight to the Chimera Cold War with a weapon too deadly to release.
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>>67233521
also some sort of zombie spores like that thing at the end of the 1e MM2
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>>67208314
wishlisted
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>>67233639
Fair enough.
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>>67206258
That would be his mom
>>
Is the idea that we just take two things and smush 'em together so they're exactly half of each thing? Or can we choose which traits to give our hypothetical hybrid? Because an owlbear is mostly bear and very little owl.
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>>67235093
Well, then it is the latter, don't you think?
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>>67235131
I would think if this thread was following that logic. For instance, the gorilla-crab seems to be pretty 50/50.
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>>67235147
In that case, it's whatever want it to be, yo.
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>>67223799
You should postulate for a job at GW. Their shitmar team is running out of ideas
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>>67235093
The way I have gone about it is to try to combine significant traits from the creatures, but in a way that still makes some morphological sense.
For example, in the case of this>>67222867 creature, I decided to make it obviously an arthropod in terms of biology, while it's overall bodyshape resembled that of a falcon, and it also had falcon like feathery wings, instead of just doing something like sticking mantis shrimp head and forelimbs on the body of a falcon.

>>67218965
With this one, I took the general bodyshape, posture and size of a cheetah on an insectoid body, with a shark shaped head and mouth, wasp like wings and 3 sectioned body, and the shrimp like small limbs underneath the body of the creature. I also decided to give it cheetah like feline eyes.
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>>67204031
Had to scan the thread looking for this post. Killer Whale + Lobster was my signature tank; huge, armored, and regenerating with a decent ranged (sonic) attack, plus giant-ass pincers for melee.
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>>67202225
>humans can wield two swords
>merge three humans
>many swords.
>>
>>67202225
Grizzly bears + Gorillas for shock troops
Scorpion + Ospreys for Assassins
Mosquito + Octopus + a little human for spies
Chameleon + Chimps for skirmishers
Elephants + Thorny Devils for heavy support
>>
>>67204031
>>67236489
My niggas
The spitting fish + Cheetahs was OP as fuck, also I too was a fan of lobster elephants.
>>
>>67237103
I remember dragonfly/anything big was monster damage. The wolverine and I think wolf? was a good cheap creature and got bonuses from being a pack animal
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>>67236966
>merge human and 10 armed squid
>merge 3 mansquids
>(many swords)*5

Depending on the quality of the swords, this might turn out to be rather costly if you wish to equip an army of mansquids.
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>>67237325
>not arming each with a large shield, a short sword, and a spear or pike for each other arm
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>>67237375
Why do I hear that in Big Smoke's voice?
>I'd like a buckler, two shields, a large shield with decor, a dagger, and a longsword with extra grip.
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>>67237325
>shank one nigga ten times
>shank ten niggas once
>shank any number of niggas up to ten a total of ten times distributed however you like
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>>67237934
They also keep all of their arms and shanks concealed until the moment of shanking. Your just fighting what you think is a regular dude but he stabs at lighting speed in sets of 10.
>>
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Glyptodon+T-Rex+Boar
The protective qualities of a walking fortress, the powder and strength of one of the mightiest creatures known to man, and an aggression to match!
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>>67239184
>Powder
I meant power, but while we're on that route, what are some good examples of nasty fungi chimeras?
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>>67239184
So a tarrasque?
>>
Take the deadliest hunter in the world, the house cat, then cross it with a cuttlefish for camouflage and a bat for flight + killing power.

Near invisible, infinitely mobile, and one tiny scratch is enough to cause guaranteed death in any mammal that isn't also a bat.
>>
Just combine souch, until they turn into a ditto. Then the ditto can multiply itself and you have an army of immortal shape-shifting killing machines
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>>67239341
*so much
>>
Oh and can someone help me out
-> >>67239008
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>>67203975
I can't be the only one who sees this, right?
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>>67239443
As much as I like a good spurdo, I really don't see it.
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>>67239237
Now that you mention it, it is rather reminiscent of the tarrasque's description.
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>>67239443
Bit of a stretch, but I do see some vague similarities in the lower half.

pic unrelated
>>
Alright, to make things a bit more interesting, I decided to give myself a theme for what kinds of fusions I'll do, and I decided on mammal+insect. A few of my units are mammal/mammal or insect/insect but the majority are mammal/insect.

Main troops: monkey+wasp - intelligent, aggressive, and they screech, a fantastic unit for blitzkrieg tactics.

Mounts for the main troops: boar + scorpion - boar charging is fast, but with six legs it's even faster. Also, the tail can cause some damage too.

Food: I was kinda lazy here, and did it really by the books - cow+pig - gives fur, milk, and meat and can eat trash
Also chicken+horse, because horse droppings are great fertilizer and eggs are a more stable food source than meat

Workers: collie+ant - the ants are easy to control and are good at moving things, the main job for these workers and Collies are loyal, always want to please their master, and their pretty smart, plus that gives them the instincts to herd all my food animals.

Finally, my most diabolic idea ever: lice+cockroach - unkillable lice. You can't crush these, poison them, you could pour pure ddt on these things and they'll still make you itchy. Absolutely destroys morale. Unfortunately, I don't know how I'd get rid of them once I beat the army they were on, if I could have a third, I'd add in some sort of bee or ant that can't continue living without a queen, but that also might make them less effective so, eh.
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>>67239772
A few more troops

Stealth assassin: lemur+spider, I'm thinking trapdoor, but I'm not sure - basically, spiders are already great stealth assassins, but add in the size, intellect, and warmbloodedness of a lemur, and they become deadly while still being small enough to go unnoticed and not needing a ton of food
Tank: elephant+beetle, I'm thinking Hercules but that's pretty cliche - pretty self-explanatory, big and armored, with tusks to Pierce any other big animals with an exoskeleton
Also, I'd probably do something like chimp+dolphin just to see if I could make sentient life, or something like a badger wasp just because it'd be funny
>>
>>67239443
I can't really see it
>>
bumb
>>
Bump eet
>>
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>>67228527
Unlike many other chimeras, the history of the aptly named "Crab Apes", or "Tengrene Stoneshells" is quite well known. They were crafted by the Zakerian wizard lord Tyl Na'far during the Zakerian campaign to subjugate the wild jungle tribes that inhabited the tropical lands on the southern borders of the Zakerian domain, which would later be known as Tengre by the mortal races. The purpose of these imposing arthropods was very simple, clearing trough the almost impassably thick jungles in which the feral raider tribes lived. For this task, these creatures posses a pair of extremely strong pincers, that allow them to slice apart fully grown trees with ease, as well as a thick shell that made them impervious to both jungle predators, as well as the weapons of the native tribes.
The Zakerian wizard lords unleashed up to thousands of these creatures to the jungles of their southern border in order to clear pathways for their armies into the territories of the tribes they were out to subjugate. After the end of this campaign, majority of the Stoneshells were left in the Tengre region, as they had served their purpose of the wizard kings. Their introduction saw the disappearance of the thick jungles that used to dominate those lands.


Though their appearance is frightening, the disposition of these creatures is in fact quite calm, being mainly herbivorous and passive in nature, preferring to munch on the pulp of the trees they have cut down, to fighting and hunting. They are however not above eating carrion or even opportunistically killing other creatures if a change presents itself. In addition, if threatened, or angered, their strong claws, hard shell, and sheer size make them into fierce and deadly beasts, that should never be treated lightly. Because of this, some Zakarian wizards used them as guard beasts of their fortresses, and even in their armies. This practice has been continued by other kingdoms even after the fall of the Zakarian wizard kings.
>>
Dog+Capybara
The ultimate good boy.
>>
>>67244572
I generally like it, but the ballance between crab and gorilla is shifted just a bit too much towards the crab, I feel.
Great job anyway.
>>
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body of an armadillo
'ead of an owl
bit of slimy sluggage
and give it peacock feathers
go for survival
>>
>>67239944
>Tank: elephant+beetle, I'm thinking Hercules but that's pretty cliche - pretty self-explanatory, big and armored, with tusks to Pierce any other big animals with an exoskeleton
There are some good stag beetle choices out there.
>>
>>67244572
jesus christ how horrifying
>>
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You know those threads that are like "where do monsters come from in your setting?"
This is where.
The remnants of this war spawned the monsters of the new world.
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>>67244612
now I want one
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>>67239443
Ebin XDDDDDDDD
>>
>Tiger Beetle
>Cheetah
>Boar
Imagine this: your party is walking through the woods on their way to do some deadly yet ultimately unimportant task, when you suddenly hear thunder. The group pauses for a moment in confusion; there are no clouds in the sky. You hear it again, and once more a few seconds later. It's getting closer. Your party scramble to prepare themselves for an attack against this unknown foe.
And then your wizard explodes as a man-sized pile of muscle, tusks, and chitin rams into them at the speed of sound.
>>
>>67249017
I just did some quick math, and assuming this creature's charge works like a normal boar's, it could effortlessly one-shot ANYTHING in D&D 5e.
Assuming it has speed proportional to its body in the same way a tiger beetle does, this creature could move 3675 ft per turn (which is nearly 3/4 of a mile btw), which is 92 times faster than a typical boar. If we calculate the damage of its charge by linearly scaling the speed, it can deal 93d6+1 damage (an average of 327) in a single attack.
But as we all know, velocity increases force exponentially, not linearly. If we use a realistic damage calculation, this boar can do a staggering 24549d6+1 damage (an average of 85923) in a single charge.
Here is a complete and comprehensive list of things that can survives that much damage:
󠛡nothing
>>
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>>67249376
>average of 86000 damage
>>
>>67202379
>>67219486

Hippo_____ actually means horse. In Classical Greek the word was ίππος (hippos). As in hippodrome, "horse-run." Hippopotamus comes from hippos, "horse" and potamos, river. It means "river horse." The same with hippogriff.

A hippopython would be a python with the head of a horse. A hippopede would be a horse with a many many legs.
>>
>>67210161
There are bat dogs in warframe, they look interesting.
>>
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>>67249376
>Combine literally anything with an insect
>Create abomination that can slay gods
I know they'd have evolved to function differently if they were gigantic, and all, but sometimes i'm really glad we're the big ones.

That said
>Soldier Ant
>Viper
>African elephant
Because the Grootslang was already such a nightmare that god had to turn it into two separate animals, might as well throw in one of the world's most deadliest bastards that we're lucky aren't one inch larger than they already are.
>>
>>67249708
>Grootslang
I just looked this up and it is rad as hell. Why I have I never heard of this thing? It's the perfect combination of scary and retarded.
>>67249376
Yeah, but don't boars have, like, 12 health? I mean, sure, it'll kill whatever it hits, but it's probably going to die on impact, so you have to keep making more. They would really be less of a creature and more of a living cruise missile.
>>
>>67202225
Basic troops would have to be Dolphin + Tiger thing. Large, powerful, stealthy, amphibious, intelligent, social, deadly, they'd make for great marines that just walk into enemy encampments undetected only to murder everything once in.

Assassin Units would be Vampire Bat + Funnel Web Spider. They can fly, but they're also small, meaning they can find their way into just about anywhere in a world with this level of technology. They're nocturnal, have the means to navigate in the dark, run quickly when on the ground, have chemicals that mask their bites, and extremely lethal venom that can kill in minutes. If you absolutely need something dead, send in a Funnel Bat.

I like the idea of something like a Bombardier Beetle + Archerfish as a trap unit in various bodies of water. Little harmless seeming fish that can swim up undetected and spit super hot chemical sprays with pinpoint position into the eyes and mouths of enemy units attempting to get a drink. Perhaps add some Lionfish in to give them lethal quills that punish anything trying to fight back.

Gorilla + Elephant would be a cool heavy unit. Great power, great size, just destroy buildings as it charges through them and rips them apart piece by piece. Also the name "Gorillaphant" is cool. Plus, mix in some Howler Monkey and they become an extreme diversion unit. Vocalized trumpet sounds that can be heard for miles as all the stealth units move in. It's hard to focus on detecting ambushes when the biggest, meanest units are always making their presence heard.

Maybe another basic unit to fight with the Gorillaphants could be an Orangutan + Hercules Beetle creature? Intelligent, fully armored, stupid strong, useful horn as a built in weapon, able to navigate trees as well as the ground. Maybe combine them further with a Mantis so they can have a second set of arms equipped with super fast scythe blade action.
>>
Silverback ape + silverback ape, the top half of a silverback combined with another top half of a silverback ape.
>>
>>67249760
I just want to know who the mad bastard was that looked at an elephant then looked at a snake and thought to himself "Oh yeah those were probably the same animal at one point"
>>
>>67202225
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klfTQvqHe3s
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>>67202225
Wasps, bullet ants, rabbits and Geese.
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>>67250051
Artists impression.
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Chimps+Grizzly Brears.
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>>67249376
Imagine if you were a halfling and had one of these as a mount. When dashing, it can travel 14 miles per minute. It would be the ultimate means of land transportation.
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>>67202225
I'll take the eyes and great, powerful wings of a golden eagle,
The carapace and endless limbs of a Japanese spider crab,
The impossibly firm grasping hands of an orangutan, and
The horrendous demihuman growl of the great potoo.
They'll follow the orders their bodies tell them to: Scream and follow the sound of other screams, then when you find humans, pick them up and drop them repeatedly until they're still enough to eat.
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I call this one a Chimpib.
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Well shit, I was gonna archive this and someone beat me to it. Good shit.
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>>67202225
Kaorti, gibbering mouther, zorbo, black pudding. The nuclear option.
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>>67250010
Blame the gods of southern Africa.


Hyena + Mountain Gorilla for infantry
Hyena + Pronghorn + Mountain Gorilla for cavalry.
Hyena + Jumping Spider + Mountain Gorilla for paratroops/mountain troops
Whale + Bumblebee + Albatross for bomber/transport
Hyena + Mountain Gorilla + Albatross + hooded pitohui for air superiority
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>>67250524
>golden eagle
>not choosing glorious imperial eagle
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>>67251598
Based and Reichpilled
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>>67251598
>tfw lived a comfy life on Mars until a German Imperial Eagle randomly flew by and attacked the planet
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>>67202225
Drop Polar Bears.
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>>67227041
I wish I had one
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>>67244572
Neat
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>>67249708
>Grootslang+

Don't stop at viper when you can add boa constrictor too. And maybe a scorpion sting.
>>
>Snapping turtle (shell + bite)
>Porcupine (quills)
>Bullet ant (most painful sting in the world - can leave humans in agony for days)

I call them "living caltrops".
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For resources:
>Abalone (shock-absorbing shell)
>Ironclad beetle (proportionally strongest shell of any animal)
>Fish-scale gecko (detachable scales)
>>
Beetle, polar bear and goose. The beetle DNA gives it a two-stage lifecycle, being born as a completely normal-looking goose for spreading over long distances quickly and inconspiciously then pupating into it's combat form, armed with the strength and size of a bear, the armor of a beetle, and the hatred for all life of a goose.
>>
Should make a decent dragon:
>Lion (base)
>Anaconda (length)
>Pangolin (armor)
>Red spitting cobra (bright colour + spits venom in enemies' eyes)
>Bombardier beetle (more spitting)
>Poison dart frog (poison + amphibious)
>Camponotus saundersi (exploding ant)

Optionally add some deer antlers.
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Just combine two dragons and tell them their girlfriend was kidnapped by your rivals
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>>67254041
Oh, also
>Alpine ibex (climbing)
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>>67202225
Spider-Goats. Like, the real ones that were made with genetic fuckery, except maybe way better and more practical.

I figure that if I'm going to war, Spider Silk makes for good uniforms and other textile shit.
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>>67245272
Based and redpillkingtoned. Stop namefagging tho.
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>>67202225
Impossible Creatures. That was a game!
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>>67202225
I also played this game, OP



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