Meanwhile in the /tg tavern...
>>66713828Can someone PLEASE get this cat to stop jumping on the table while I’m trying to eat?
>>66714553Aye that’L”be sanwvich watch your food
I didn't touch your meat bread. Stop saying that
>>66714553That’s the sorceress’ familiar Doomwhisker, take it up with her
>>66713828Did any of you pass through Gloomwood on yer way here? There’s restless dead there I swear. I saw a boneman starin’ at my caravan as we pasted.
>>66714553That's dis' tavern's wench.Right good pussy if you ask me.
>>66713828Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one says 'no' to Gaston!
>>66715292You. I like you.
>>66715815Keep those ugly ass claws off my table!You know your kind isn’t wanted here!
>>66713828Aw shit dude, I'm, so fucked up.Did I tell you the one about how all elven women are sluts?
>>66715979I'm not fucking racist, all I am saying is that we should gas the elves except maybe a few of the womenfolk. Aye.
>>66715292C’mon, Gaston. You’re starting to sound like an aspie!
COME OUT YOU BLACK AND TAN FUCKING SHITS COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN
>>66715960"Do you prefer me to put something else up the table, warmblood?"
>>66716588...yes... those clothes you’ve obviously stole!
ooo hello I have a QUEST for you!!!! COME! COME COME!!!
>>66716628"I am still here, you're free to wrap them up, warmoblood"
>>66716588>>66716628>>66716769STOP ERPING IN THE TAVERN
>>66714553This.That fucking cat. If I see it one more time...
>>66714891Gloomwood is full of undead too? I’ve heard that a legion of undead have razed the farmland in the southern Highlands
>>66713828*instrument playing stops*
>>66713828OK. Which of you dragon molesters set the wine cellar on fire?
>>66716762"Sod off. The guild is 3 doors down."
>>66715815Man Derkeethus has been slutting it up ever since he met that fleshcrafter, throwing them tits e' gave him in everyone's face.
>>66716999I’m going to go on a hunch and say it was that winged scaly dude with smoke coming out of his mouth and nostrils.
>>66713828"Hello stranger, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior."
>>66717203Check the door mate, no loiterers, no solicitations, & especially no prophesizin’
>>66717573Shut up dammit!
>>66713828Why are there so many brooding peoples in dark hoods sitting in corner? It must smell awful bad.
>you see a strange creature by the door asking to be let in
>>66717686>I open the door and place a loaf of bread on it's head before closing the door. >This is all done in the span of a second because I'm a rogue with 100+ DEX.>Please respect that.
>>66717657YOU! INTO THE KITCHEN!
>>66715432>starting at 10>Not 8What is this, Pathfinder?
>>66717755meow>>66717686>opens the door
>>66717812I swear if I find a sack, you're going in it!
>>66717686>>66717686I thought that necromancer played all his cards but I suppose *that* thing at the door is his dead man’s switch. I’ll be a mate and finish em’ myself, you all get back to drinking now.
Alright you green-toed smelly fucks, the kitchen is open and I swear if one of thinks of trying to start a tab I'll be taking fingers as payment.
>>66717921>woman working the kitchenI thought this place was progressive?
>>66713828>the barwench asks what you'll be having
>>66717968You shut your noise hole. She makes the best soup this side of the river an' if that bothers you she don't trust no one else to do it, you can trump right back out
>>66714553I'm only level 1 sirrah that thing will fucking kill me.
>>66717733"Thank you, ...sir? Was someone there? Oh! A loaf of bread. I must find the person and return the favor for the food. To do otherwise would forfeit my name.">>66717812"Did you open the door for me? Thank you. It is rare for a cat to be courteous to me. Their king often has disdain for my kind. Though, you should be careful with that hunk of cold iron.">>66717840"Excuse me, have you or anyone here seen my wife? A living female human with red hair, green eyes, and skin. She really should not be drinking, I think."
>/tgI am going to burn this fucking tavern down.
>>66717636>Oh God another one of those Chad paladins is singling me out.>Why don't they have Detect Social Anxiety?>Why does Rugmupfh always insist the party meet in public places?>These Boots are hurting my feet. I told everyone I wanted the CLOAK of Elvenkind not the Boots. I should've just asked them to return them. Is it too late to return them?>I should've been a Rogue not a Barbarian. Why did I listen to dad?>I miss mom.
>>66718099Oi'! Git back in the pot ya stupid git!
>>66718221>Me trying not to stare at the shapely bug
>>66717986Potato soup and corn bread
>>66718015I am relieved that I do not have to do another fight today. I saw a rept in the bar vaguely matching your description but she seems to be some kind of whore so I doubt it’s your wife. I’m outa here
>>66717921>>66717986A beer please.
>>66718232This bar is for Paying Patrons not Warlock Patrons, sir
>>66718015Aye! I knew you bonemen t’wer real, fuck off with your evil ways & stop raising the dead to rattle the bones of the living!
>"and when the barbarian woke up, his skeleton was missing, AND THE WIZARD WAS NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN!">"anyways, that's how I got banished to the plane of shadows... the first time"
>Entering the tavern>Sits at a tableI should have learned a real job
>>66718923Alright which one of you magey types has been dumping their potions in the yard again?
>>66719514hey theyre cute
>>66718099"Oh, I have nothing to sell you this time. Or are you not the mudcrab merchant? Forgive me, but you all smell the same to me.">>66718438"Oh, that is definitely not her. That woman's scent is like a hag's. I suppose I should take my search elsewhere. Though, before you depart I would like tell you something in return for the small help you've been. A word of warning. The hedges are particularly prickly tonight. ">>66718565"You must have me confused with someone else. I have never risen a corpse from the dead and the incident with the one living man's bones was resolved. But I will be taking my leave."
ONE OF YOU LASSES GIVE ME YOUR BIGGEST AND STRONGEST DRINK OR I START CRACKIN' SKULLS.
>>66713828Take this shit to /qst/
>>66719699THE ONLY THING YER CRACKIN' IS YER MATE'S BUM.NOW SOD OFF AN' BROOD LIKE THE REST OF US.
>>66719717I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOIN' THROUGH YOUR HEAD PAL, BUT YOU CAN FORGET IT
>>66719699>>66719717>>66719744Both of you shut up.
>>66719760I'LL SHUT UP WHEN I WANT TO, YA' TOWEL WEARIN' SOD.
>>66719717>>66719744>>66719760>>66719848You kids get your armor from a new blacksmith?>Crack>SipCalradia, now those were the days
>>66719714>REEE Y ARE THERE FUN THREADS IN MY /TGG/?
>>66719714But this isn’t the /qst tavern...
>>66714553Khajit has wares
>>66719714I can't find threads like these ones on /qst/, though.
>>66718195got to post the restIll post what I got
Oy! You call this beer? I can see the bottom of me tankard! I need beer thick enough to chew! Just like grandma made
>>66718195>>66720129>>66720195Is this the tavern's menu? How much for everything? Is the witch for sale?
What'll you have, friend?We got a shipment of Salamader in along with some Naga tail. There's also a pot o' Owlbear tenderizing and a pair of Roc eggs left, but I reckon you wouldn't be able to eat even a whole one.
>>66721027Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have… Wait. Wait… I’m worried what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?
>>66721195I can run over to the butcher's fer ya. It's a bit after breakfast hours, and I to get a new pig anyway, else all we have is the four pounds in storage. A fresh pig can get that back up to around 40 pounds. How crispy do you want em?Each Roc egg is just under 13 pounds. Do you want them scrambled, fried, over-easy, or sunny-side up?
>>66713828>A tavern inspired by /tg/So everyone talks about how their liquor is the best, and everyone else's favorite liquor is shit, but nobody ever drinks.
Hear ye! Hear ye! Patrons of this fine establishment! I call to attention a toast to being the best board in this godforsaken realm!
>>66721195this is the most reddit thing i have ever seen on /tg/ and you should hang yourself.
>>66722005No, that would be the /v/ tavern, where all the patrons are suicidally depressed frog-people
>>66718015What a plesent fella...
>>66717047IF I GO CRAZY THEN WILL YOU STILL CALL ME SUPERMAN
>>66716949Nay, 't was the northern Lowlands I heard
>>66720887That must hurt
>>66713828We need your strongest liquors
>>66722005No, they drink, just not in person. It's all done with randos met online through a service that everyone agrees is shit.
Yo where all the high-elf women at?
>>66717636Having your hood up inside is a bit weird, sure, but what really worries me is that there are another two dark corners since last week. Where do they keep coming from?
>>66724789Fuckin casters, man...
Ils parlent bizarrement dans cette auberge
>>66717055I’ll have you know I am a snake not a dragon you ignorant smallfat.Also, you can’t prove shit.
>>66722040Aye!>>66722005This isn’t a tavern based on /tg it’s the /tg tavern. There is a difference
>>66725055No one is talking to you dumbass. Now shut up before I make you into a fancy pair of boots
>>66724962Ouais c'est pas faux.
oh dear, I think I went into the wrong tavern.
>>66724789The mysterious loiterers guild forced them in. It’s why there’s so many damn pillars for them to rest ominously against, too.
>>66721027What kind of naga tail?
>>66722040I’ll drink to that
>>66713828Have You Heard ye news?Ye olde King said nationalised ye prostituion industry.Ye olde Whorehouses are going to be expensive now.
>>66725075>that het>that entire getupAlright who left the fag window open
>>66725763You picking a fight tough guy?
>>66718221Okay but that larvae form is adorable tho
>>66726099Don’t fuck the roli poli loli
>>66724789We be in a quantum tavern, it has as many dark corners as needed as well as self repairing furnishings
>>66726099>>66726676>Confused buggo noises
Is anybody going to do something about the hooded tiefling masturbating in the corner?!
Now that's a fine place for fancy lads and buccaneers!
>>66726699I suppose that explains where all the goddamn ogres came from
>>66714553Oh god, there's one on my table too, there's 2cat
>>66724523Is this fer true? I heard it clear that it t’wer the Southern Highlands but perhaps they be in the lowlands too? It is an ill night if were surrounded by the bonemen
>Sits in corner, ignoring everyone
>>66715815>zp92a guilty pleasure of mine
>>66717686I roll to give it roses and chocolates
>>66717986the plot twist was that it was a poly morphed male wizard
>>66719714Oh, was this interfering with your countless how would this retard survive in 40k? shitpost threads?Eat a dick
Alright knobsuckers, I’m taking call for any drinks! What’ll you have?
>>66731768I’ll take two swooning dragons. That’s one part rum, two parts potato vodka, and three parts absinthe with a coin dissolved into it.
>>66715815Feet off the table and keys off your toes.
>>66717686Dude, a fairy. Let him in.
>>66717986Yeah I'll have the spicy garlic wings?
>>66724665Not sure if male or female and not sure which would make me harder.
>>66725600Forgotten Realms import. The evil snake witch kind. We don't cook waifus here, bub.Well except for that muffin-golem, but that was a different situation.I take a slice off, thick as I can get, then place it scales-side down on a large pan. High heat. Scales scorch up, but the heat transfers through them to the meat very evenly. While it's going, I add a rub of onion, salt, garlic, paprika, thyme, and lemongrass.Once it's nice and cooked, I flip it, and pry off some scales. Skin comes right off with them. I add the rub to the de-scaled side and flip it again, making sure both sides have a light sear on either side for texture.Tastes close to tilapia, but a bit more hearty.
>>66713828Drinking is a terrible vice!
>>66731768The finest mineral water.
Gentlemen, A toast! Here's to Adventures, and the wonderful SoBs who engage in them!Oh, and one more thing; Fuck Kender
>>66732689Like, kender are terrible & don’t associate or Kender make pleasant cock warmers?
>>66731768I’ll have an Oghran’s Guttermud take your hard seat three liquors & toss em in a tankard, then add chocolate liqueur, chocolate powder & some milk, stir with a cinnamon stick
>>66731768Two Hobgoblins and a Bishops Finger
>>66732136Bloody alchemists, just don't vomit on my boots
>>66732338Can you cast Cure Moderate Hangover?
>>66726035I'm sorry is a fag talking? I don't speak homo and even if I did I can tell from the fruity fucking getup that you're not just your husband's living onahole, you're also too much of a pussy to do shit about it, bitch.
>>66729707Classical gaynomics clearly state that it's not gay unless balls touch. If the wizard turns himself into a woman, it's not gay.Now, if the wizard turns himself into a futa woman, that's a different story and I'll have some of whatever he's having, wink wink.
>>66736599Be glad I only kill people when I’m paid you dandy. Now take you undersized little blade and wander off into one of those dark and mysterious corners this place seems to have so many of.
>>66731768Get me a tankard of Bugman's XXXXXX
>>66713828What spell do I have to cast to get some service around here?
>tfw you're asked for ID in a fantasy tavernThis shit's fucking dumb.
>>66736878Either charm or unseen servant your pick
>>66736720Yeah I bet you'd like to see little blades and dark corners you raging god damn homo. Go fuck RuPaul, you damn semen sipper.
>>66737246You’re just jealous on account of him having the King’s leave to dress in clothes finer than yours.
>>66713828>Buys a bottle of the strongest swill in the joint then stares at it in soul-crushing despair that I can't even fucking drink it
>>66728132what is this buggo from?
>>66737412There's only three sorts of people who care about the finery of clothes. Kings, Tailors, and Women. Which one are you?
>>66737687>hands you a long twisty strawThere you go mate.
>>66728132>>66718221I want to fug this bug
>>66713828ATTENTION BITCHES! Anyone (between the levels of 5 and 8) who wants to make some decent pay and some phat loot, please report to the back room! Some noble's brat is celebrating his birthday and he wants to send Adventurers on retarded ass quests. His parents are dumb enough to fund each one and they don't know dick about proper pay. Get on it while it's hot!
>>66736882Are you a dwarf? They don't serve miners
>>66713828Star vs the Forces of Evil is kino af
>>66731764Shhhhh, lassy, sh sh shh... Need a bed for the evenin?
ok I'm done
>>66722005That just sounds like most drinkers in general, honestly.
this but with more neckbeards arguing about stuff
>>66718392Finally someone else knows what a potato is! I thought I had lost my mind or had somehow returned to Barovia or something. Yes!, >>66717986Ill have the same as he. Now can you tell me where I can place me polearm. Its a good walking stick, got me here didn't but it doesnt make for a good bar mate. >>66717812Oh hello there, somehow didnt see you there before. >>twiddle fingers near ground.
>>66724863Pardon, Im not well versed in whats rude for your kind, but do you happen to be from around the Moonwood? If so, I would go to great lengths to get a message up there....
>>66736599Yare one to talk snake man, ya got two dicks constantly running eachother. Can ya imagine that, being so much of a fag you're constantly frotting yourself.
>>66737832There's a difference between wearing Nithin but rags and high fashion reptile. I'm sorry the barkeep turned ye down on account of the unwashed cumrag you call a loincloth. Tell ya whut, if ye pay up 20 shillings ill let you go into the stables and suck me horse off.
>>66713828This place better have enough alcohol for the whole regiment.
>>66740033That depends entirely on if you are returning from campaign or about to ship out. It’s a lot easier to supply twelve dudes than it is several hundred.
>>66722040Bottoms up fren
>>66740033Returning. Genestealer infestation on a frontier world; mostly jungle. They never saw us coming, until they did. I'm sure your establishment can handle 100 people.
>>66742563 was meant for >>66741393
>yellow tiefling in ridiculous clothes, minotaur, half elf ranger with a wolf, and a gnome dressed like a thief walk into the tavern What do you do?
>>66742650Ask if this is some kind of joke
>>66742650Tell the wolf to go to the kennel
>>66713828OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! WIN HER HAND WITH SONGS OF OOOLD! GROMIL STEEL AND HOOOAAAARD OF GOOOOOOLD!
>>66742563Well, if we could handle those Ermine Mantle dames I’m sure we can handle you lot.What kinda amasec would you boys like?
>>66722095You don't have to act like a contrarion to look cool, anon.We're all friends here.
>>66717921Do you happen to have Sausages perchance?
>>66743153You wouldn't happen to have the stuff with the Ork spinal fluid mixed in, would you?
>jumps up on the bar, spreads ass and sprays toxic shit over everybodyget blasted
>>66713828...the fuck happened here?
>>66744217Sarge, ask if we can use the kitchen for cooking some meat.
>>66729267And there is now another person sitting in corner. That corner was not theres a seconding a go. Why with all the corners?
>>66745159blame the wizard, he made the place non-euclidean
>>66745159Ah sorry about that sir.Our tavern is enchanted to make niche and corners for lonesome broody souls and they don't ever want to sit with anyone. you wouldn't believe how many of them comes in.
>>66744217I can check, it’s not the strangest greenskin fluid people have requested here.Wait, did you say ork, orc, or orruk?
>>66745366Dragons are not mammals anon
>>66746839They aren't reptiles either. That's because dragons are dragons.
>>66746839Tiddy is universal.
>>66737841This pleases both the machine spirits within my augmetics and my organic components.The only thing upset is my liver.
>>66743381He's right though.
>>66738155You're killing me, smalls.
>>66748251Don’t get short with him
>>66722095>>66747550>Gets upset about a shitpost on a thread about shitposting for everyone’s enjoyment
>>66748354A bit rude to just undercut and override a lady like that, don't you think?
>>66748457Just a little bit I guess
I roll athletics to throw a chair across the tavern
>>66748575Is it beneath you to apologize properly?
"Has anyone seen my sword? Its about six feet long and has lots of gems on the hilt with some runes."
>>66748646"You mean that one over there picking a fight with a bear over a game of darts?"
>>66748706"Yeah that's him. Stupid bastard! I never asked to be the chosen one, I'm stuck with you, not you with me!"
>>66748637Honestly I don’t bother with minuscule issues
>>66748621Fantastic little movie with a great cast. If you've never seen Deep Rising, it feels a lot like a prototype of the sort of movie that we got with The Mummy. Beni is even in it, playing a similar but more heroic role.
>>66744690Oglaf is a fukken treasure.
>>66749591Fertilized I hope
>>66749421>Deep RisingMy man! That movie was the tits, should probably track down a copy
>be cat-girl adventurer. >be looking for quests.>have enchanted swordso anyone know where I can find a quest or a few bounties.
>>66749976Citizen, there exists ruins nearby that contain...valuable metals that I require.In what manner are you accustomed in terms of payment?
>>66749976There's a few here:>>66714891>exterminate the undead in gloomwood>>66715292>accompany Gaston in his quest to slay the beast>>66716762>whatever job this queer guy has>>66716999>put out the fire in the wine cellar>>66718015>find the fairy's wife>>66738118>participate in the noble child's birthdayIf you look around, you'll can probably find more.
>>66750465>fire in the wine cellarYou mean to say they still haven't put that out?
>>66750501No. The fire has been raging ever since the tavern has been stocking >>66745366.
>>66745366>>66746839You joke but this shit is actually pretty good.
>>66750779Can't find this for sale in Bongland, I'm sad now
>>66750779What’s it taste like?
>>66716834Now there's a meme I've not heard in a long time.
Let it be known the church of Lathander is currently accepting donations from the people of the fine city. You can also pre-donate for next month just in time for the festival of the golden light if you wish.
>>66724962>>66725544speak common or die
>>66750869Stout drinker here, at a guess I'd say Guinness but with actual flavours, also you can probably eat the last third of a pint with a spoon
>>66751126Hey, Clericbro! I'll donate 200 gold right now if you cast Silence and Hold Person on that barmaid
>>66751298If you’ll excuse me everyone, I need to go and call the guard.
>>66751298Deal my good fellow.
>>66751414Hey, knife-ears! what's white, sticky and all over your face? I CAST WEB!
I'm throwing a party at my estate ta'morrow! You're all invited, of course.There'll be wine, sparkling conversation, company to die for, and cheese! It's sure to be a grand time, aha!Don't be late.
>>66751434>the Silence spell goes off without a hitch, but the Hold Person spell mysteriously has no effect>for the barmaid to shrug off your miracles, she must either be an extraordinary (whether by ability or by luck) human being or an inhuman creature in disguise
>>66751918I look forward to it.
>>66751215>not speaking ElvishFoutez moi ca dehors !
>>66752063pulls out lyre and chugs up behind you
>>66752063>not using telepathy
>>66752223A bard? The tavernkeeper has been looking for one you guys. I don't know why, but he thinks you can put out the fire in the wine cellar. So will you stop messing with the elf and do us a favor? You'll be welcome to all the Dragon's Milk you can drink as a reward.
>>66752280A bard can do anything my foolish friend. Just let me fetch my instrument
>>66751999Ah, is there a Paladin in the house? Could really use Detect Evil over here
>>66752350*casts Dimension Door*Not today!
>>66752388FUCKING WIZARDS!Other GUARDS!
>>66752351There are many paladins in this house.
>>66750231Just point me in the right direction and tell me what exactly is it that you want me to retrieveAs for the payment, the standard local currency will do.
>>66724543He's a large fellow
>>66752351I gotcha, right the guy who paid for the spells pings evil but the barmaid's clear.
>>66717986Two ciders and a bowl of whatever's in the stew pot.
>>66754462Cockatrice and Rice. One of our hearty soups. More of a chowder, really.It's cream of mushroom, broccoli, and green onion soup on a simmer. Rice soaks in all those flavors while its kept warm. The cockatrice was already cooked with the vegetables and is waiting to serve with it.You get a big bread-bowl of it, and we shred some Parmesan cheese over the top.
>>66754490*sigh* all I have left is Bigby's Fapping Hand, I'll come quietly
>>66754212Oh bugger! Any chance your god is a merciful, lenient type?
>>66754846What does Cockatrice even taste like?
>>66755281Depends on if you legit repent or not. If you're just sorry you got caught then a smitens still acome'n.
>>66745335 >>66744976"Ork" as in the one with the "k" at the end. Make sure you really stir it up.Oh yeah, some of the men came up with a special recipe last deployment. Been waiting to try it out; didn't get the chance earlier. Mind if we use a part of the kitchen?
>>66755311Unsurprisingly, it tastes like a mix of chicken, and a lizard.Lizards also taste like chicken, by the by.Might be a bit gamey compared to most chickens you can buy at the store. Not nearly as much fat on those.
>>66752327Sauce me up on that accordian my good fellow.
>>66717047Can we get more drunk girls in here?
>>66713828Anyone got ammo for my moist nugget?I got some elven hunting to doAve nex alea, saluto nex alea
>>66724863Wait a minute. Is this a Jojo reference?
>>66759433No, it’s loss
Anyone heard anything from Gloomwoodanon?
>>66760060Who? The caravan I'm passed through the Gloomswood on the way here, met a strange band of travellers; a mute Nubian warrior-woman, possibly the filthiest ranger I've ever seen who kept fondling his crossbow, a shifty looking type in black leather armour who was asking everyone if we'd seen "Lucille" (must be his wife) and a crazy-eyed bearded guy who kept yelling "CORAL!" We invited them to join us but beardy kept asking questions about how many "walkers" or people we've killed, left them pretty quickly after that
>>66761371This here fellow, & another one, we’re talking about some sort of undead>>66714891>>66716949>>66724523>>66728969
>>66713828Oi, who opened an eldritch portal in the shitter! I nearly lost 2 of me balls
OI! AHIM THA BOSTRALIAN STRANGLAH!! NUN OV YA CAN STOP MEH
Greetings! My name is Vincent the Invulnerable! I challenge the strongest one among you to a contest of arms!
>>66748976You can't just keep issues like this on the high shelf forever.
>>66763547You want a moment to notify your kin?
>>66763584It’s just such a small issue
>>66763983It really wouldn't to just put a little effort in, stranger.
>>66763547Sorry the cat's not in the tavern right now bunch of people chased him out for being too loud.
Does anyone know where the potion seller is? I'm going into battle, and I need his strongest potion...
>>66764683For the last time, I’m a lotion seller not a potion seller
>>66755311It tasted like crunchy turkey when I ate it. Might have to do with the uneven cooking it had, but I'm not interested in trying again.
>>66755311Great. Sits in your gut like a rock though. Not that you'll be bothered for long.
I'm all for ethnic food, but I'm not entirely sure about this orcish cook they hired last week...
>>66764834Me too! I appreciate the variety, but it makes me question what are the limits of what he considers food.
>>66764834That's the Gourmet. Not any gourmet. THE Gourmet.
I swear to you all I saw it again on the roads! Though it says to be a knight and dresses as one, I know well it is nothing of the sort, I dare say that I do not believe it to be even human. I got away from it for sure, but who knows how many were not so lucky to escape that false knight.
>>66764938I saw him put a sweetroll, vampire dust, a Giant's toe, and a gold coin into the Potage le Magnifique!
>>66765037And it was delicious, wasn't it?
>>66765037Do NOT question The Gourmet!!
>>66717986all the eggs
>>66717986you look like you just saw the world tree, wanna see mine?
>>66765096It truly was. I found it tastes even better if I don't know what goes into it.
>>66718099>>66723026>>66745224based and crabpilled
>>66713828*daydreams about Karaz Ankor
My Tavern's cleaner than an elven arse!
>>66716460DOWN IN FLANDERS!
>>66717986if i had a rune of gluttony i wouldnt have to come to this umgak hole
>>66721027>>66721825i have to eat all the eggs
>>66732296not sure if thats a grudge
>>66724789Why would u complain in dodecahedron tavern?
>>66725600stares into eyessss
>>66745279it sells ale
>>66736809good taste but ill take your oldest ale
>>66733352can you cast horrific hangover
>>66742650try to fucky mmommytaur
"I was told that drinking burning berry water is a life-changing experience. I would like some."
>>66743025Hail to valaya~!
>>66744217OOOOORRRCCCS YE SAY!?
>>66748646Stupid umgi putting runes on a SWORD
>>66716460SHOW YOUR WIFE HOW YOU WON MEDALS DOWN IN FLANDERS!
>>66766657"Really? Those are one of the chancy drinks. We don't often get orders for one of those. But if you say so.">The bartender reaches under the table to pull up a spout, then stabs it into a large fiery glowing fruit descending from a brass pipe-like vine grown into the tavern wall>A effervescent ichor oozes from the spout's mouth into a glass. Even from across the table, your Thri-kreen antennae electrify.>When it fills to the brim, the barkeep hands it to you."My Advice: Drink carefully. Don't overdo it. Or drink fast. I only drank the stuff once and I can't remember much about it. But I remember raving about holes in reality."
>>66767126>The Thri-kreen curls back his antennae, then imbibes the entire container of the bizarre ichor, his natural psionics becoming amplified and generating small sparks of psychokinetic energy. He begins seeing all of his race's history at once, the Kreen as the were before Athas was torn asunder, The kreen becoming Thri, Tohr, and Zik, and their eventual dispersal into the multiverse. He attempts to communicate telepathically with the other patrons, but his voice is drowned out by his countless past lives being forced into the forefront of his consciousness simultaneously.
Yer too good for 'im Grushka, I'm tellin' ya! If my man din't give me t'least one 'ead of 'is enemies ev'ry month, 'e'd be out the cave 'afore ya could say "cup de grass"!
What’s the best tavern joke you know?
"Hey there..." *hic* "widdle widdle toaster...""Wanna see my... manipulators?"