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Meanwhile in the /tg tavern...
>>
>>66713828
Can someone PLEASE get this cat to stop jumping on the table while I’m trying to eat?
>>
>>66714553
Aye that’L”be sanwvich watch your food
>>
I didn't touch your meat bread. Stop saying that
>>
>>66714553
That’s the sorceress’ familiar Doomwhisker, take it up with her
>>
>>66713828
Did any of you pass through Gloomwood on yer way here? There’s restless dead there I swear. I saw a boneman starin’ at my caravan as we pasted.
>>
>>66714553
That's dis' tavern's wench.
Right good pussy if you ask me.
>>
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>>66713828
Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one says 'no' to Gaston!
>>
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>>66715292
You.
I like you.
>>
>>
>>66715815
Keep those ugly ass claws off my table!
You know your kind isn’t wanted here!
>>
>>66713828
Aw shit dude, I'm, so fucked up.
Did I tell you the one about how all elven women are sluts?
>>
>>66715979
I'm not fucking racist, all I am saying is that we should gas the elves except maybe a few of the womenfolk. Aye.
>>
>>66715292
C’mon, Gaston. You’re starting to sound like an aspie!
>>
COME OUT YOU BLACK AND TAN FUCKING SHITS COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN
>>
>>66715960

"Do you prefer me to put something else up the table, warmblood?"
>>
>>66716588
...yes... those clothes you’ve obviously stole!
>>
ooo hello I have a QUEST for you!!!! COME! COME COME!!!
>>
>>66716628

"I am still here, you're free to wrap them up, warmoblood"
>>
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>>66716588
>>66716628
>>66716769
STOP ERPING IN THE TAVERN
>>
>>66714553
This.
That fucking cat. If I see it one more time...
>>
>>66714891
Gloomwood is full of undead too? I’ve heard that a legion of undead have razed the farmland in the southern Highlands
>>
>>66713828
*instrument playing stops*
>>
>>66713828
OK. Which of you dragon molesters set the wine cellar on fire?
>>
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>>66716762
"Sod off. The guild is 3 doors down."
>>
>>66715815
Man Derkeethus has been slutting it up ever since he met that fleshcrafter, throwing them tits e' gave him in everyone's face.
>>
>>66716999
I’m going to go on a hunch and say it was that winged scaly dude with smoke coming out of his mouth and nostrils.
>>
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>>66713828
"Hello stranger, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior."
>>
>>66717203
Check the door mate, no loiterers, no solicitations, & especially no prophesizin’
>>
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MEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW
>>
>>66717573
Shut up dammit!
>>
>>66713828
Why are there so many brooding peoples in dark hoods sitting in corner? It must smell awful bad.
>>
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>>66717616
meow
>>
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>you see a strange creature by the door asking to be let in
>>
>>66717686
>I open the door and place a loaf of bread on it's head before closing the door.
>This is all done in the span of a second because I'm a rogue with 100+ DEX.
>Please respect that.
>>
>>66717657
YOU! INTO THE KITCHEN!
>>
>>66715432
>starting at 10
>Not 8
What is this, Pathfinder?
>>
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>>66717755
meow
>>66717686
>opens the door
>>
>>66717812
I swear if I find a sack, you're going in it!
>>
>>66717686
>>66717686
I thought that necromancer played all his cards but I suppose *that* thing at the door is his dead man’s switch. I’ll be a mate and finish em’ myself, you all get back to drinking now.
>>
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Alright you green-toed smelly fucks, the kitchen is open and I swear if one of thinks of trying to start a tab I'll be taking fingers as payment.
>>
>>66717921
>woman working the kitchen
I thought this place was progressive?
>>
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>>66713828
>the barwench asks what you'll be having
>>
>>66717968
You shut your noise hole. She makes the best soup this side of the river an' if that bothers you she don't trust no one else to do it, you can trump right back out
>>
>>66714553
I'm only level 1 sirrah that thing will fucking kill me.
>>
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>>66717733
"Thank you, ...sir? Was someone there? Oh! A loaf of bread. I must find the person and return the favor for the food. To do otherwise would forfeit my name."

>>66717812
"Did you open the door for me? Thank you. It is rare for a cat to be courteous to me. Their king often has disdain for my kind. Though, you should be careful with that hunk of cold iron."

>>66717840
"Excuse me, have you or anyone here seen my wife? A living female human with red hair, green eyes, and skin. She really should not be drinking, I think."
>>
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>>66717921
>>66717986
>clack clack
>>66718015
>clack
>>
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>/tg
I am going to burn this fucking tavern down.
>>
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>>66717636
>Oh God another one of those Chad paladins is singling me out.
>Why don't they have Detect Social Anxiety?
>Why does Rugmupfh always insist the party meet in public places?
>These Boots are hurting my feet. I told everyone I wanted the CLOAK of Elvenkind not the Boots. I should've just asked them to return them. Is it too late to return them?
>I should've been a Rogue not a Barbarian. Why did I listen to dad?
>I miss mom.
>>
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>>66718099

Oi'! Git back in the pot ya stupid git!
>>
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>Serves guests
>>
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>>66718153
Do it.
>>
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>>66718221
>Me trying not to stare at the shapely bug
>>
>>66717986
Potato soup and corn bread
>>
>>66718015
I am relieved that I do not have to do another fight today. I saw a rept in the bar vaguely matching your description but she seems to be some kind of whore so I doubt it’s your wife. I’m outa here
>>
>>66717921
>>66717986
A beer please.
>>
>>66718232
This bar is for Paying Patrons not Warlock Patrons, sir
>>
>>66718015
Aye! I knew you bonemen t’wer real, fuck off with your evil ways & stop raising the dead to rattle the bones of the living!
>>
>"and when the barbarian woke up, his skeleton was missing, AND THE WIZARD WAS NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN!"
>"anyways, that's how I got banished to the plane of shadows... the first time"
>>
>Entering the tavern
>Sits at a table

I should have learned a real job
>>
>RUSTLING NOISES
>>
>>66718923
Alright which one of you magey types has been dumping their potions in the yard again?
>>
>>66719514
hey theyre cute
>>
>>66718099
"Oh, I have nothing to sell you this time. Or are you not the mudcrab merchant? Forgive me, but you all smell the same to me."

>>66718438
"Oh, that is definitely not her. That woman's scent is like a hag's. I suppose I should take my search elsewhere. Though, before you depart I would like tell you something in return for the small help you've been. A word of warning. The hedges are particularly prickly tonight. "

>>66718565
"You must have me confused with someone else. I have never risen a corpse from the dead and the incident with the one living man's bones was resolved. But I will be taking my leave."
>>
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ONE OF YOU LASSES GIVE ME YOUR BIGGEST AND STRONGEST DRINK OR I START CRACKIN' SKULLS.
>>
>>66713828
Take this shit to /qst/
>>
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>>66719699
THE ONLY THING YER CRACKIN' IS YER MATE'S BUM.
NOW SOD OFF AN' BROOD LIKE THE REST OF US.
>>
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>>66719717
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOIN' THROUGH YOUR HEAD PAL, BUT YOU CAN FORGET IT
>>
>>66719699
>>66719717
>>66719744
Both of you shut up.
>>
>>66719714
why
>>
>>66719760
I'LL SHUT UP WHEN I WANT TO, YA' TOWEL WEARIN' SOD.
>>
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>>66719717
>>66719744
>>66719760
>>66719848
You kids get your armor from a new blacksmith?
>Crack
>Sip
Calradia, now those were the days
>>
>>66719714
>REEE Y ARE THERE FUN THREADS IN MY /TGG/?
>>
>>66719714
But this isn’t the /qst tavern...
>>
>>66714553
Khajit has wares
>>
>>66719714
I can't find threads like these ones on /qst/, though.
>>
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>>66718195
got to post the rest

Ill post what I got
>>
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>>66720129
>>
Oy! You call this beer? I can see the bottom of me tankard! I need beer thick enough to chew! Just like grandma made
>>
>>66718195
>>66720129
>>66720195
Is this the tavern's menu? How much for everything? Is the witch for sale?
>>
>>66717986
>*unzips dick*
>>
What'll you have, friend?
We got a shipment of Salamader in along with some Naga tail. There's also a pot o' Owlbear tenderizing and a pair of Roc eggs left, but I reckon you wouldn't be able to eat even a whole one.
>>
>>66721027
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have… Wait. Wait… I’m worried what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?
>>
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>>66721195
I can run over to the butcher's fer ya. It's a bit after breakfast hours, and I to get a new pig anyway, else all we have is the four pounds in storage. A fresh pig can get that back up to around 40 pounds. How crispy do you want em?
Each Roc egg is just under 13 pounds. Do you want them scrambled, fried, over-easy, or sunny-side up?
>>
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>>66713828
>A tavern inspired by /tg/
So everyone talks about how their liquor is the best, and everyone else's favorite liquor is shit, but nobody ever drinks.
>>
Hear ye! Hear ye! Patrons of this fine establishment! I call to attention a toast to being the best board in this godforsaken realm!
>>
>>66721195
this is the most reddit thing i have ever seen on /tg/ and you should hang yourself.
>>
>>66722005
No, that would be the /v/ tavern, where all the patrons are suicidally depressed frog-people
>>
>>66718015
What a plesent fella...
>>
>>66718099
How fascinating
>>
>>66717047
IF I GO CRAZY THEN WILL YOU STILL CALL ME SUPERMAN
>>
>>66716949
Nay, 't was the northern Lowlands I heard
>>
>>66720887
That must hurt
>>
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>>66713828
We need your strongest liquors
>>
>>66722005
No, they drink, just not in person. It's all done with randos met online through a service that everyone agrees is shit.
>>
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Yo where all the high-elf women at?
>>
>>66717636
Having your hood up inside is a bit weird, sure, but what really worries me is that there are another two dark corners since last week. Where do they keep coming from?
>>
>>
>>66724789
Fuckin casters, man...
>>
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Ils parlent bizarrement dans cette auberge
>>
>>66717055
I’ll have you know I am a snake not a dragon you ignorant smallfat.

Also, you can’t prove shit.
>>
>>66722040
Aye!
>>66722005
This isn’t a tavern based on /tg it’s the /tg tavern. There is a difference
>>
>>66725055
No one is talking to you dumbass. Now shut up before I make you into a fancy pair of boots
>>
>>66724962
Ouais c'est pas faux.
>>
oh dear, I think I went into the wrong tavern.
>>
>>66724789
The mysterious loiterers guild forced them in. It’s why there’s so many damn pillars for them to rest ominously against, too.
>>
>>66720887
Fucking fleshcrafters...
>>
>>66721027
What kind of naga tail?
>>
>>66722040
I’ll drink to that
>>
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>>66713828
Have You Heard ye news?
Ye olde King said nationalised ye prostituion industry.
Ye olde Whorehouses are going to be expensive now.
>>
>>66725075
>that het
>that entire getup
Alright who left the fag window open
>>
>>66725763
You picking a fight tough guy?
>>
>>66718221
Okay but that larvae form is adorable tho
>>
>>66726099
Don’t fuck the roli poli loli
>>
>>66724789
We be in a quantum tavern, it has as many dark corners as needed as well as self repairing furnishings
>>
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>>66726099
>>66726676
>Confused buggo noises
>>
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Is anybody going to do something about the hooded tiefling masturbating in the corner?!
>>
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Now that's a fine place for fancy lads and buccaneers!
>>
>>66726699
I suppose that explains where all the goddamn ogres came from
>>
>>66714553
Oh god, there's one on my table too, there's 2cat
>>
>>66724523
Is this fer true? I heard it clear that it t’wer the Southern Highlands but perhaps they be in the lowlands too? It is an ill night if were surrounded by the bonemen
>>
>Sits in corner, ignoring everyone
>>
>>66715815
>zp92
a guilty pleasure of mine
>>
>>66717686
I roll to give it roses and chocolates
>>
>>66717986
the plot twist was that it was a poly morphed male wizard
>>
>>66719714
Fuck off
>>
>>66719714
Oh, was this interfering with your countless
how would this retard survive in 40k? shitpost threads?
Eat a dick
>>
>>66728487
No.
Adventure.
>>
Alright knobsuckers, I’m taking call for any drinks! What’ll you have?
>>
>>66731768
I’ll take two swooning dragons. That’s one part rum, two parts potato vodka, and three parts absinthe with a coin dissolved into it.
>>
>>66715815
Feet off the table and keys off your toes.
>>
>>66717686
Dude, a fairy. Let him in.
>>
>>66717986
Yeah I'll have the spicy garlic wings?
>>
>>66724665
Not sure if male or female and not sure which would make me harder.
>>
>>66725600
Forgotten Realms import. The evil snake witch kind. We don't cook waifus here, bub.
Well except for that muffin-golem, but that was a different situation.

I take a slice off, thick as I can get, then place it scales-side down on a large pan. High heat. Scales scorch up, but the heat transfers through them to the meat very evenly. While it's going, I add a rub of onion, salt, garlic, paprika, thyme, and lemongrass.
Once it's nice and cooked, I flip it, and pry off some scales. Skin comes right off with them. I add the rub to the de-scaled side and flip it again, making sure both sides have a light sear on either side for texture.
Tastes close to tilapia, but a bit more hearty.
>>
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>>66713828
Drinking is a terrible vice!
>>
>>66731768
The finest mineral water.
>>
>>66717573
Literally lol'd
>>
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Gentlemen, A toast!
Here's to Adventures, and the wonderful SoBs who engage in them!
Oh, and one more thing; Fuck Kender
>>
>>66732689
Like, kender are terrible & don’t associate or Kender make pleasant cock warmers?
>>
>>66731768
I’ll have an Oghran’s Guttermud take your hard seat three liquors & toss em in a tankard, then add chocolate liqueur, chocolate powder & some milk, stir with a cinnamon stick
>>
>>66731768
Two Hobgoblins and a Bishops Finger
>>
>>66732136
Bloody alchemists, just don't vomit on my boots
>>
>>66732338
Can you cast Cure Moderate Hangover?
>>
>>66726035
I'm sorry is a fag talking? I don't speak homo and even if I did I can tell from the fruity fucking getup that you're not just your husband's living onahole, you're also too much of a pussy to do shit about it, bitch.
>>
>>66729707
Classical gaynomics clearly state that it's not gay unless balls touch. If the wizard turns himself into a woman, it's not gay.

Now, if the wizard turns himself into a futa woman, that's a different story and I'll have some of whatever he's having, wink wink.
>>
>>66736599
Be glad I only kill people when I’m paid you dandy. Now take you undersized little blade and wander off into one of those dark and mysterious corners this place seems to have so many of.
>>
>>66731768
Get me a tankard of Bugman's XXXXXX
>>
>>66713828
What spell do I have to cast to get some service around here?
>>
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>tfw you're asked for ID in a fantasy tavern
This shit's fucking dumb.
>>
>>66736878
Either charm or unseen servant your pick
>>
>>66736720
Yeah I bet you'd like to see little blades and dark corners you raging god damn homo. Go fuck RuPaul, you damn semen sipper.
>>
>>66737246
You’re just jealous on account of him having the King’s leave to dress in clothes finer than yours.
>>
>>66713828
>Buys a bottle of the strongest swill in the joint then stares at it in soul-crushing despair that I can't even fucking drink it
>>
>>66728132
what is this buggo from?
>>
>>66737412
There's only three sorts of people who care about the finery of clothes. Kings, Tailors, and Women. Which one are you?
>>
>>66737687
>hands you a long twisty straw
There you go mate.
>>
>>66728132
>>66718221
I want to fug this bug
>>
>>66713828
ATTENTION BITCHES! Anyone (between the levels of 5 and 8) who wants to make some decent pay and some phat loot, please report to the back room! Some noble's brat is celebrating his birthday and he wants to send Adventurers on retarded ass quests. His parents are dumb enough to fund each one and they don't know dick about proper pay. Get on it while it's hot!
>>
>>66736882
Are you a dwarf? They don't serve miners
>>
>>66713828
Star vs the Forces of Evil is kino af
>>
>>66713828
>>
>>66731764
Shhhhh, lassy, sh sh shh... Need a bed for the evenin?
>>
>>66714918
underrated comment
>>
>>
>>66713828
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
ok I'm done
>>
>>66722005
That just sounds like most drinkers in general, honestly.
>>
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this but with more neckbeards arguing about stuff
>>
>>66718392

Finally someone else knows what a potato is! I thought I had lost my mind or had somehow returned to Barovia or something. Yes!, >>66717986
Ill have the same as he.
Now can you tell me where I can place me polearm. Its a good walking stick, got me here didn't but it doesnt make for a good bar mate.

>>66717812
Oh hello there, somehow didnt see you there before.

>>twiddle fingers near ground.
>>
>>66724863

Pardon, Im not well versed in whats rude for your kind, but do you happen to be from around the Moonwood? If so, I would go to great lengths to get a message up there....
>>
>>66736599
Yare one to talk snake man, ya got two dicks constantly running eachother. Can ya imagine that, being so much of a fag you're constantly frotting yourself.
>>
>>66737832
There's a difference between wearing Nithin but rags and high fashion reptile. I'm sorry the barkeep turned ye down on account of the unwashed cumrag you call a loincloth. Tell ya whut, if ye pay up 20 shillings ill let you go into the stables and suck me horse off.
>>
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>>66713828
This place better have enough alcohol for the whole regiment.
>>
>>66740033
That depends entirely on if you are returning from campaign or about to ship out. It’s a lot easier to supply twelve dudes than it is several hundred.
>>
>>66722040
Bottoms up fren
>>
>>66740033
Returning. Genestealer infestation on a frontier world; mostly jungle. They never saw us coming, until they did. I'm sure your establishment can handle 100 people.
>>
>>66742563 was meant for >>66741393
>>
>yellow tiefling in ridiculous clothes, minotaur, half elf ranger with a wolf, and a gnome dressed like a thief walk into the tavern
What do you do?
>>
>>66742650
Ask if this is some kind of joke
>>
>>66742650
Tell the wolf to go to the kennel
>>
>>66713828
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! WIN HER HAND WITH SONGS OF OOOLD! GROMIL STEEL AND HOOOAAAARD OF GOOOOOOLD!
>>
>>66742563
Well, if we could handle those Ermine Mantle dames I’m sure we can handle you lot.
What kinda amasec would you boys like?
>>
>>66722095
You don't have to act like a contrarion to look cool, anon.
We're all friends here.
>>
>>66717921
Do you happen to have Sausages perchance?
>>
>>66743153
You wouldn't happen to have the stuff with the Ork spinal fluid mixed in, would you?
>>
>jumps up on the bar, spreads ass and sprays toxic shit over everybody
get blasted
>>
>>66713828
...the fuck happened here?
>>
>>66744217
Sarge, ask if we can use the kitchen for cooking some meat.
>>
>>66729267
And there is now another person sitting in corner. That corner was not theres a seconding a go. Why with all the corners?
>>
>>66745159
blame the wizard, he made the place non-euclidean
>>
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>>66718099
>>
>>66745159
Ah sorry about that sir.
Our tavern is enchanted to make niche and corners for lonesome broody souls and they don't ever want to sit with anyone.
you wouldn't believe how many of them comes in.
>>
>>66744217
I can check, it’s not the strangest greenskin fluid people have requested here.

Wait, did you say ork, orc, or orruk?
>>
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>>66731768
Dragon's Milk.
>>
>>66745366
Dragons are not mammals anon
>>
>>66746839
They aren't reptiles either. That's because dragons are dragons.
>>
>>66746839
Tiddy is universal.
>>
>>66737841
This pleases both the machine spirits within my augmetics and my organic components.

The only thing upset is my liver.
>>
>>66743381
He's right though.
>>
>>66738155
You're killing me, smalls.
>>
>>66748251
Don’t get short with him
>>
>>66722095
>>66747550
>Gets upset about a shitpost on a thread about shitposting for everyone’s enjoyment
>>
>>66748354
A bit rude to just undercut and override a lady like that, don't you think?
>>
>>66748457
Just a little bit I guess
>>
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I roll athletics to throw a chair across the tavern
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>>66748575
Is it beneath you to apologize properly?
>>
"Has anyone seen my sword? Its about six feet long and has lots of gems on the hilt with some runes."
>>
>>66748646
"You mean that one over there picking a fight with a bear over a game of darts?"
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>>66748706
"Yeah that's him. Stupid bastard! I never asked to be the chosen one, I'm stuck with you, not you with me!"
>>
>>66748637
Honestly I don’t bother with minuscule issues
>>
>>66748621
Fantastic little movie with a great cast. If you've never seen Deep Rising, it feels a lot like a prototype of the sort of movie that we got with The Mummy. Beni is even in it, playing a similar but more heroic role.
>>
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>>66744690
Oglaf is a fukken treasure.
>>
>>66717986
Eggs
>>
>>66749591
Fertilized I hope
>>
>>66749421
>Deep Rising
My man! That movie was the tits, should probably track down a copy
>>
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>be cat-girl adventurer.
>be looking for quests.
>have enchanted sword

so anyone know where I can find a quest or a few bounties.
>>
>>66749976
Citizen, there exists ruins nearby that contain...valuable metals that I require.

In what manner are you accustomed in terms of payment?
>>
>>66749976
There's a few here:
>>66714891
>exterminate the undead in gloomwood
>>66715292
>accompany Gaston in his quest to slay the beast
>>66716762
>whatever job this queer guy has
>>66716999
>put out the fire in the wine cellar
>>66718015
>find the fairy's wife
>>66738118
>participate in the noble child's birthday

If you look around, you'll can probably find more.
>>
>>66750465
>fire in the wine cellar
You mean to say they still haven't put that out?
>>
>>66750501
No. The fire has been raging ever since the tavern has been stocking >>66745366.
>>
>>66745366
>>66746839
You joke but this shit is actually pretty good.
>>
>>66750779
Can't find this for sale in Bongland, I'm sad now
>>
>>66750779
What’s it taste like?
>>
>>66716834
Now there's a meme I've not heard in a long time.
>>
Let it be known the church of Lathander is currently accepting donations from the people of the fine city. You can also pre-donate for next month just in time for the festival of the golden light if you wish.
>>
>>66724962
>>66725544
speak common or die
>>
>>66750869
Stout drinker here, at a guess I'd say Guinness but with actual flavours, also you can probably eat the last third of a pint with a spoon
>>
>>66751126
Hey, Clericbro! I'll donate 200 gold right now if you cast Silence and Hold Person on that barmaid
>>
>>66751298
If you’ll excuse me everyone, I need to go and call the guard.
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>>66751298
Deal my good fellow.
>>
>>66751414
Hey, knife-ears! what's white, sticky and all over your face? I CAST WEB!
>>
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I'm throwing a party at my estate ta'morrow! You're all invited, of course.
There'll be wine, sparkling conversation, company to die for, and cheese! It's sure to be a grand time, aha!
Don't be late.
>>
>>66751434
>the Silence spell goes off without a hitch, but the Hold Person spell mysteriously has no effect
>for the barmaid to shrug off your miracles, she must either be an extraordinary (whether by ability or by luck) human being or an inhuman creature in disguise
>>
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>>66751918
I look forward to it.
>>
>>66751215
>not speaking Elvish

Foutez moi ca dehors !
>>
>>66752063
pulls out lyre and chugs up behind you
>>
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>>66752063
>not using telepathy
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>>66752223
A bard? The tavernkeeper has been looking for one you guys. I don't know why, but he thinks you can put out the fire in the wine cellar. So will you stop messing with the elf and do us a favor? You'll be welcome to all the Dragon's Milk you can drink as a reward.
>>
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>>66752280
A bard can do anything my foolish friend. Just let me fetch my instrument
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>>66751817
Fucking wizards...
GUARDS!
>>
>>66751999
Ah, is there a Paladin in the house? Could really use Detect Evil over here
>>
>>66752350
*casts Dimension Door*
Not today!
>>
>>66752388
FUCKING WIZARDS!
Other GUARDS!
>>
>>66752351
There are many paladins in this house.
>>
>>66750231

Just point me in the right direction and tell me what exactly is it that you want me to retrieve

As for the payment, the standard local currency will do.
>>
>>66724543
He's a large fellow
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>>66753571
For thee.
>>
>>66752351
I gotcha, right the guy who paid for the spells pings evil but the barmaid's clear.
>>
>>66717986
Two ciders and a bowl of whatever's in the stew pot.
>>
>>66752388
>Casts Imprisonment
>>
>>66754462
Cockatrice and Rice. One of our hearty soups. More of a chowder, really.

It's cream of mushroom, broccoli, and green onion soup on a simmer. Rice soaks in all those flavors while its kept warm. The cockatrice was already cooked with the vegetables and is waiting to serve with it.
You get a big bread-bowl of it, and we shred some Parmesan cheese over the top.
>>
>>66754490
*sigh* all I have left is Bigby's Fapping Hand, I'll come quietly
>>
>>66754212
Oh bugger! Any chance your god is a merciful, lenient type?
>>
>>66754846
What does Cockatrice even taste like?
>>
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>>66755311
Chocolate, maybe.
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>>66755281
Depends on if you legit repent or not. If you're just sorry you got caught then a smitens still acome'n.
>>
>>66745335
>>66744976
"Ork" as in the one with the "k" at the end. Make sure you really stir it up.

Oh yeah, some of the men came up with a special recipe last deployment. Been waiting to try it out; didn't get the chance earlier. Mind if we use a part of the kitchen?
>>
>>66755311
Unsurprisingly, it tastes like a mix of chicken, and a lizard.
Lizards also taste like chicken, by the by.

Might be a bit gamey compared to most chickens you can buy at the store. Not nearly as much fat on those.
>>
>>66752327
Sauce me up on that accordian my good fellow.
>>
>>66717047
Can we get more drunk girls in here?
>>
>>66713828
Anyone got ammo for my moist nugget?
I got some elven hunting to do
Ave nex alea, saluto nex alea
>>
>>66724863
Wait a minute. Is this a Jojo reference?
>>
>>66738284
Reddit
>>
>>66759433
No, it’s loss
>>
Anyone heard anything from Gloomwoodanon?
>>
>>66760060
Who? The caravan I'm passed through the Gloomswood on the way here, met a strange band of travellers; a mute Nubian warrior-woman, possibly the filthiest ranger I've ever seen who kept fondling his crossbow, a shifty looking type in black leather armour who was asking everyone if we'd seen "Lucille" (must be his wife) and a crazy-eyed bearded guy who kept yelling "CORAL!" We invited them to join us but beardy kept asking questions about how many "walkers" or people we've killed, left them pretty quickly after that
>>
>>66761371
This here fellow, & another one, we’re talking about some sort of undead
>>66714891
>>66716949
>>66724523
>>66728969
>>
>>66713828
Oi, who opened an eldritch portal in the shitter! I nearly lost 2 of me balls
>>
OI! AHIM THA BOSTRALIAN STRANGLAH!! NUN OV YA CAN STOP MEH
>>
Greetings! My name is Vincent the Invulnerable! I challenge the strongest one among you to a contest of arms!
>>
>>66748976
You can't just keep issues like this on the high shelf forever.
>>
>>66763547
You want a moment to notify your kin?
>>
>>66763584
It’s just such a small issue
>>
>>66763983
It really wouldn't to just put a little effort in, stranger.
>>
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>>66763547
>*crackle*
>>
>>66763547
Sorry the cat's not in the tavern right now bunch of people chased him out for being too loud.
>>
Does anyone know where the potion seller is? I'm going into battle, and I need his strongest potion...
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>>66764683
For the last time, I’m a lotion seller not a potion seller
>>
>>66755311
It tasted like crunchy turkey when I ate it. Might have to do with the uneven cooking it had, but I'm not interested in trying again.
>>
>>66755311
Great. Sits in your gut like a rock though.

Not that you'll be bothered for long.
>>
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I'm all for ethnic food, but I'm not entirely sure about this orcish cook they hired last week...
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>>66764834
Me too! I appreciate the variety, but it makes me question what are the limits of what he considers food.
>>
>>66764834
That's the Gourmet. Not any gourmet. THE Gourmet.
>>
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I swear to you all I saw it again on the roads! Though it says to be a knight and dresses as one, I know well it is nothing of the sort, I dare say that I do not believe it to be even human. I got away from it for sure, but who knows how many were not so lucky to escape that false knight.
>>
>>66764938
I saw him put a sweetroll, vampire dust, a Giant's toe, and a gold coin into the Potage le Magnifique!
>>
>>66765037
And it was delicious, wasn't it?
>>
>>66765037
Do NOT question The Gourmet!!
>>
>>66717986
all the eggs
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>>66717986
you look like you just saw the world tree, wanna see mine?
>>
>>66765096
It truly was. I found it tastes even better if I don't know what goes into it.
>>
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>>66718099
>>66723026
>>66745224
based and crabpilled
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>>66713828
*daydreams about Karaz Ankor
>>
My Tavern's cleaner than an elven arse!
>>
>>66716460
DOWN IN FLANDERS!
>>
>>66713828
TOMATO BISK
>>
>>66717986
tomato BISK
>>
>>66717986
if i had a rune of gluttony i wouldnt have to come to this umgak hole
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>>66718259
stares anyway
>>66718923
cute
>>66719912
this
>>
>>66721027>>66721825

i have to eat all the eggs
>>
>>66732296
not sure if thats a grudge
>>
>>66724789
Why would u complain in dodecahedron tavern?
>>
>>66725600
stares into eyessss
>>
>>66745279
it sells ale
>>
>>66736809
good taste but ill take your oldest ale
>>
>>66733352
can you cast horrific hangover
>>
>>66736951
>>66736878
or familiar
>>
>>66742650
try to fucky mmommytaur
>>
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"I was told that drinking burning berry water is a life-changing experience. I would like some."
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>>66743025
Hail to valaya~!
>>
>>66744217
OOOOORRRCCCS YE SAY!?
>>
>>66748646
Stupid umgi putting runes on a SWORD
>>
>>66756870
GROBI SCUM!
>>
>>66716460
SHOW YOUR WIFE HOW YOU WON MEDALS DOWN IN FLANDERS!
>>
>>66766657
"Really? Those are one of the chancy drinks. We don't often get orders for one of those. But if you say so."
>The bartender reaches under the table to pull up a spout, then stabs it into a large fiery glowing fruit descending from a brass pipe-like vine grown into the tavern wall
>A effervescent ichor oozes from the spout's mouth into a glass. Even from across the table, your Thri-kreen antennae electrify.
>When it fills to the brim, the barkeep hands it to you.
"My Advice: Drink carefully. Don't overdo it. Or drink fast. I only drank the stuff once and I can't remember much about it. But I remember raving about holes in reality."
>>
>>66767126
>The Thri-kreen curls back his antennae, then imbibes the entire container of the bizarre ichor, his natural psionics becoming amplified and generating small sparks of psychokinetic energy. He begins seeing all of his race's history at once, the Kreen as the were before Athas was torn asunder, The kreen becoming Thri, Tohr, and Zik, and their eventual dispersal into the multiverse. He attempts to communicate telepathically with the other patrons, but his voice is drowned out by his countless past lives being forced into the forefront of his consciousness simultaneously.
>>
Yer too good for 'im Grushka, I'm tellin' ya! If my man din't give me t'least one 'ead of 'is enemies ev'ry month, 'e'd be out the cave 'afore ya could say "cup de grass"!
>>
What’s the best tavern joke you know?
>>
>>66768955
You.
>>
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"Hey there..." *hic* "widdle widdle toaster..."

"Wanna see my... manipulators?"



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