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This barbarian smacks your character on the ass as she walks by. What would they do?
>>
>>66172394
Slap her on the ass back.
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This barbarian smacks your character on the ass as she walks by. What would they do?
>>
>>66172394
Cry, and then report sexual harassment to the police because he’s only four centuries old and a baby-faced gnome
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>>66172394
Check for a cock and walk away if one wasn't in evidence.
>>
If you're familiar with the Gardnerverse or the nobles Sparrow and Markydaysaid, this question answers itself.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>66172394
Rolling to slap back
>>
>>66172481
Say "awww" and ruffle her hair

>>66172496
She gets aggressively BLACKED?
>>
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>>66172522
>not even actually in a game
>still can't hit someone with a slap

It became a running joke at my table that my character whiffs every attack roll to slap someone. And it's still following me.
>>
>>66172394
Take her arm, seeing as she's so eager to part with it.
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>>66172394
"Listen, I don't know what your culture was like where you grew up but I am an anointed knight of the church. I will not stand by while you tarnish my reputation with your crude gestures. Do that again and I'll draw my blade."
>>
>>66172481

That depends, how damaged are my hips afterwards?
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>>66172592
stop trying to slap people, it's rude
>>
>>66172481
die probably
suika is strong as fuck
>>
>>66172676
>threatening violence over some flirtation

autism
>>
>>66172394
reflexively kick, likely killing the barbarian.
>>
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>>66172394
>probably gets ass slapped as he's sitting on a tall stool
>otherwise, try to hide the surprise that she actually bent down just to slap the booty instead of kicking it like most hoomans do
>anyway, insult her for the inappropriate touching
Fuck you too!
>>
>>66172394
"I'm a robot lady, do you find funny the sound my metal body makes? Are you making fun of me?"
>>
>>66172863
CLANK CLANK CLANK
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>>66172723
Maybe they shouldn't be such rude bastards then.

>playing a mundane doctor in a fantasy setting
>Warlock gets a healing potion
>"Hey, it's a like you in a bottle, but without the sass"

Tell me that punk didn't deserve an attempted slap.
>>
>>66172554
>She gets aggressively BLACKED?
Not quite.

>Gardnerverse
She gets roughly fucked by some faceless hunks.
>Sparrow
She gets aggressively fucked by some torso-sized cocks with visible stomach bulges and hearty amounts of stretchy "porn anatomy."
>Markydaysaid
She either gets BLACKED or fucked by a generic musclebound manlet.
>>
>>66172481
I want to fuck that Japanese goblin!
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>>66172911
Honestly I'd just laugh, that's a good line
>>
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>SHE
>S
>H
>E
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>>66172772
I only have eyes for one woman and that's my goddess. Everyone else is irrelevant.
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>>66172984
Accurate, though 'fucked by sex-crazed ogres while the DM fingers herself' is also possible with Gardnerverse.
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>>66172394
Well, my ranger would probably be a bit surprised but after the initial shock she'd probably smile and ask if she was busy later. Guess taking the beautiful trait was worth it after all.
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>>66172676
>Do that again and I'll draw my blade.

"A well-forged longsword, I hope, I intend to subject it to put it to rigorous test."
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>>66172394
Get incredibly flustered and try to hide the embarrassment.

OR

reflexively hit them. It depends what stage of the adventure he was in
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>>66172797
DONKEY!
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>>66172394
He's an Estalian diestro, so probably make a smart-ass comment on how in his country, it's more typically the other way around.
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>>66172394
I hate this problem, especially the 'girlfriend's ass' one, because there's no response that ends well unless the target is a coward (which he might be).
>Doing nothing makes you look spineless, even if you're simply not interested in a fight
>Like fuck someone playing grabass is gonna apologize once confronted verbally
What are you supposed to do, demand he apologize and then flip him the bird when he refuses?
>>
>>66173194
Let's be honest here, if that barbarian wanted to hook up with a donkey then the whole tavern's going to get treated to an impromptu, very smutty show.
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>>66173149
gay
>>
>>66173343
Blame the DM for opening the door to my magic realm.
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>>66173052
It was a great line, which is why she would've slapped him.
>>
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>>66172394
>Calls for guards and call for a instant execution to show political bloodline dominance.
God i love playing as noble
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>>66173263
That's why you carry a knife on you if things go south
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>>66172394
Laugh jovially as shes dragged away to my personal torture chambers
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>>66172394
He'd be good-humored about it and ask if she's just playing or actually interested in him.

If it's the latter, pretend to be interested in her as well, while manipulating the everloving fuck out of her.
>>
>>66172394
>>
>>66173520
>The character that seems normal/affable on the surface but is incredibly vicious on the inside

the worst but my favorite when done well
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>>66173146
>>66172984
tell me more of the Gardnerverse
>>
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>>66172394
Dang she one kinky barbarian. I guess I smack her right back.
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>>66172394
The only female character I've played in the last two years was a fuck-everything bard, so this is probably just the DM fucking with me.
>>
>>66172394
Writing a neural comm towards the captain, who is proably right next to the whole thing how annoyed he is about his stupid trade-"Get rich fast" ideas that bring them to those borderworlds, that he is a married man with two kids at home and a man can only be groped by so many muscelgirls before giving in.

Toward the girls he tries to convey that he isn't interested while gesturing wildly
>>
>>66172394
"Dude. No homo.
Oh! Uh... I'm so sorry, miss!"
>>
>>66173801
>>66173643
Oh look boss, now she found a Aslan to court with, guess that solves the problem
P.S. since when the actual fuck are aslan around here?
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>>66172394
Pull my wife and girlfriend's characters off of her after they've wrestled her into submission.
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>>66174352
Another for the harem?
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>>66172394
Use her for meaningless sex and then discard her, pinching small amounts of gold and other valuables in the interim.
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>>66173588
I could ask you the same thing. I'm not sure what they're from (Some ERPer's ever-growing cottage setting? A lewd webcomic? An artist's little pets?) but there are recurring characters, like Sam there.
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>>66172394
I'm romancing Kelda Oxgutter as a dex magus in Jade Regent, I'm into strong women
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>>66174893
Gardnerverse is just a group of sporty girls in some ERP universe, pretty much. Porn world, tho. Has some characters with names that are massive sluts and fuck around. That's it.
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>>66172882
/clang/
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>>66174940
I figured. Some f-lister, I assume? Can't say it matters as long as I get more sporty freckled redheads getting fucked.
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>>66172394
Laugh and say "If you wanted to fuck a priest of the Eruditi Mechanica you just had to ask. Your week is now mine. Say goodbye to the sun."
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This chad asks your character, if they'd like to share a cup of tea. What they do?
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>>66174996
There's characters, but I'm not sure if it's even all that active anymore

https://gardnerverse.tumblr.com/
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>>66175103
Accept wholeheartedly.
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>>66175103
I say yes

Why would anyone say no?
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>>66174619
Depends on how cute the barbarian's player is.
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>>66172394
Embarassedly look upon the tile floor and try to push away tears.
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>>66175134
Sometimes characters get commissioned so often they become essentially public property, I’ve seen it happen with that one fat-chested redheaded Barbarian bitch (not Rowena, the one that begins with a T) and Charlotte of Drawthread (in)fame. They get drawn because everyone else is drawing them.
>>
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>>66175103
Obviously, we share a cup of tea while he regales me with tales of daring and danger.
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>>66172394
We have sex.
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>>66172394
He asks his brothers why a feral worlder just struck a member of the deathwatch, then probaby forget about it/kill her.

>>66175103
Say no, then demand details relevant to the mission
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>>66172394
Smack her face with my Zweihander.
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>>66175643
>zweihander

virgin spotted
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>>66172394
reveal my fake ass by displaying the armour plate underneath while stabbing her in the back.
Scream not today satan while laughing my ass off
Set her body on fire in tribute to my god
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>>66172394
Cringe a bit and be on with my day.
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>>66173484
Anon, I...
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>>66175306
There's also that one futa mei-mei who must've fucked like half the canons in existence, but I'm 90% sure she's someone's ERP char.
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>>66176245
>one futa mei-mei

Wait what
>>
>>66172394
Breed her.
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>>66172481
Breed her also
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>>66173263
>What are you supposed to do, demand he apologize and then flip him the bird when he refuses?
No, you beat his ass.
>>
>>66172394
Blush and have no idea what to do with the attention/next.
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>>66176570
I don't have a problem going to the floor with someone in a fight or even getting ragdolled by a guy who weighs 100 pounds more than me to make a point, but how am I supposed to deal with the police? They tend to take offense to stuff like that.
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>>66172394
depends on the character, my bard would get flirty, my ranger would check if she had a mosquito on her ass, and my venerable gnome artificer would probably drop to 0 HP with a broken pelvis XD
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>>66172394
Completely ignore it
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>>66176625
>>66175293
>>66173191

>she sees that you don't know what to do
>assumes you don't mind since you didn't react negatively
>takes the reigns and just drags you off somewhere
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>>66173263
You slap his cheeks too.

With your balls.
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>>66176690
Nah, nah. You give it a second and then ask him,
>What, you gonna suck my dick next?
>>
>>66173263
Rape him so he knows his place.
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>>66172911
Let's be fair, you're playing a mundane doctor in a fantasy setting and sassing your patients. What did you expect?
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>>66176667
But anon everyone knows women are cowards that don't initiate.
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>>66176719
I'd rather be rimmed.
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>>66176667
Oh at that point it wouldn't be flustered, it would be putting combat into action.
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>>66176796
Wouldn't we all?
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>barbarian
>wears tailored, overdesigned, slim-fit clothes
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>>66172394
Spaghetti spills from my pockets
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>>66176877
She may be a barbarian, but she's not a BARBARIAN
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>>66172394
laugh as she burns her hand on my ass and cries about it.
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>>66176626
He assaulted your girlfriend, unless the cop's an asshole you'll be fine.
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>>66172394
Make low growl and keep walking.
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>>66172481
Die from massive internal trauma and a functionally obliterated pelvis and spine
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>>66172394
My character is an Aarakocra barbarian so after she smacks my ass-bone he bites her head.
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>>66172452
fpbp. My barbarian wouldn't let a friendly butt slap go unreciprocated.
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>>66177597
>>
>>66177976
>Leans his entire body forward, ensuring his weapon "covers" as much of his own body from the enemy as possible
>Charges in without even a single moment of hesitation, only stopping in the optimal attack range (he can strike the enemy, the enemy can't strike him)
>Unorthodoxly carries his weapon in his powerful beak
>Irregular headmovements mean his attacks are unpredictable while he can at the same time parry against incoming attacks from any angle
>Has no time for such romanticized affairs as honor and chivalry, goes straight for the throat of an unarmed enemy
>Doesn't fall into the barbarism of brutalizing a fallen foe, insteads he halts and keeps a close eye on his surroundings
Give this man a promotion! That's exactly the kind of gusto that makes a good officer.
>>
>>66173263
>What are you supposed to do, demand he apologize and then flip him the bird when he refuses?

Headbutt him until there's nothing but a butt left.
>>
>>66176626
Leave before they show.
>>
>>66173263
>Doing nothing makes you look spineless, even if you're simply not interested in a fight
Like I give a fuck. It's my girlfriend's fight, not mine. If she feels like asserting herself, she can do as she please. If she feels like being treated like some whore, she can delete my phone number and enjoy being fucked raw by Tyrone.
>B-But muh chivalry, muh manhood
My girlfriend's fight, not mine. I'm not going to lose teeth because she can't tell some mongrel to keep his paws to himself.
>>
>>66172394
>Throat-Cutter (Kenku Monk)
Grab her tits, stare her in the eyea, make the sound of two people VERY LOUDLY reaching orgasm simultaneously.

>The Alchemist (Human Superhero)
Convert .01% of her blood into morphine, when she collapses, hog tie her with her own bracer laces

>Archie Newton (Human Spark)
>"UNHAND ME MADAM!"
>suggest she see the hairier of my compatriots if she seeks such a lewd and transitory relationship

>Thikka Nehmissa (Mousegirl Adventurer)
>squeak in surprise
>flee in awkward terror
>>
>>66172554
>She gets aggressively BLACKED?

Now THAT'S a superpower.
>>
>>66172394
Yells profanity after her and probably threatens to shoot her
>>
>>66178323
That's gotta be very awkward. Being groped, stared out and then having your groper loudly scream with two voices at the same time.
>>
>>66172452
My nigga
>>
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>>66172394
>If that's what you're after I'm staying at the Noble's Respite. Be there around eight and the first round is on me, second round is "on" you.
>>
>>66172481
Surprise buttsecks
>>
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>>66173445
>>66172814
>>66173484
Such awful characters.
>>
>>66172394
Depends, if on a covert mission he woukd simoly behave as the figure he plays. If on official inquisitoral mission, he would at first stop for a moment, look at her soul and then laugh. Then he would go away and leave the arbitators or the guards do their role.
>>66172481
The same as above but my character will think her as mutant and take a bit of pity. The guards will teach her reverence for the Inquisition as well, but as a mutant she will be lucky if she survives that.
>>66175103
He would join him and use the moment to raise morale by telling some good stories.
>>
>>66178452
Kenku are weird critters. Their voices were stolen from them, so they have no language of their own, put they're perfect mimics of anything g they've ever heard. They have no names themselves, just a sound they make that signifies "me" and other people (who have languages) give them a name that describes the sound.

This character's sound-name is the sound of a man choking his life out after having his throat slit, so his first human friend called him "Throat-Cutter". He's an inquisitive and rather direct dude. His life's work is to collect every sound in the human tongue and then teach them to every kenku he meets so that the Kenku can speak in words again.

He's also an incorrigible pussy hound and since he can't reproduce with anything but another Kenku he gives no shits about the species of his partners.
>>
Considering my character is an elderly man totally done with everyone's shit, he'd probably just wave his bodyguard over to threaten her. Bodyguard might fancy her, though, so not sure where that'd go.
>>
>>66172394
grin
>>
>>66172394
Ask if they can be her armcandy.
>>
>>66172394
Halfling sorc- slaps back without hesitation. Then casts reduce/enlarge as appropriate.


Tabaxi battlemaster- study her for a minute to determine his chance to hit that.
>>
>>66172394
Gets baffled as to how the telepathic alien mantis has developed ass cheeks. And then probably even more confused as to why the tasty human challenged the 7ft tall insect with meter long stabby arms to a fight (at least he assumes thats what she wanted)
>>
>>66172394

>Drow Bard Illusionist
Seethe internally but compose herself, making smalltalk so she can find a way to pay the barbarian back later for her uncouth nature Stealing the mugs she drinks from and replacing it with an illusion for example

>Nord Cleric of Mara
Mistakes it for courtesy among the Nord, although it does not keep her from giving the lass a good punch to the face. Will then proceed to slap other Nord women on their rear who she comes across She's born outside of Skyrim and she just recently returned.
>>
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>is gobbo

>flies away upon impact
>>
I play an artificer that gets around on a floating chair, how'd she do that?
>>
Paladin would back hand her into a wall.

Wizard probably wouldn't do much. A minor annoyance when the fate of the current realm of existence is facing certain doom, and nobody seems to give a fuck.
>>
>>66172394
Want to smack her on the ass back but cant because paladin. Politely invite her for a drink at the tavern instead, see if anything happens
>>
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>>66173105
cringe but surprisingly basedpilled
>>
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>>66180896
depends on the paladin. if we are going by 5E an oath of anceints would be down to have passionate love making as long as its not just a hit it and quit it sort of thing
>>
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>>66180896
>Want to smack her on the ass back but can't because prude.
Ftfy.

Paladins don't have to be prudes. Yours just happens to be one.
>>
>>66180963
>Paladins don't have to be prudes

Depends of what type of paladin are we talking about. My 5e oath of vengeance one would have no problems here, but my pathfinder paladin literally has a "I will be temperate in my actions and moderate in my behavior." thing in his oath
>>
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>>66172394
I roll to seduce.

>>66172481
I roll to seduce.

>>66175103
I roll to seduce.
>>
>>66181214
Based
>>
>>66172394
Follow her in hopes of sex
>>66172481
Double takes as the small child walks away being slightly embarrassed
>>66175103
Can’t say no to a good cup of tea
>>
>>66172394
Laugh! For my posterior is protected by a kilt made of bones!

Then laugh again, and headbutt her in the skull as a traditional barbarian greeting.
>>
>>66180658
MODOK?
>>
>>66172394

My character is a large robot that turns into a fighter jet. This fact will require a lot more context than given for the ass slap before I could know how he would react.
>>
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>>66172394
One does not simply slap the ass of a member of the Inquisition, feral worlder/Feudal worlder or not.
>>
>>66172394
Laugh awkwardly and then say "Thanks...?"
>>
>>66181214
Who're yiu, Oscar Wilde?
>>
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>>66173445
>>66172814
>>66173484
>>66172493
>>66174352
>>66178323
Is this the dedicated cringe-thread?
What the fuck happened to you /tg/? Is this what happens when the normalfaggotery from IMGUR, reddit and Resetera takes over?

Most replies in this thread are fucking Fanfiction.net-Tier.
>>
>>66172394
Try flirting, it turns awkward, go home and cry.

My character is basically me, but more autistic and less of a failure in other aspects.
>>
>>66184137
If I wanted to hear you bitch, I'd stick my dick in your ass. Now hush.
>>
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>>66172394
Citadel the seven feet tall Warforged Juggernaught apologises for you hurting your hand, unimportant mortal who lacks better judgement.
>>
>>66184137
IMGUR has a community?!
>>
>>66180959
a 5e paladin of conquest would be all about taking her fertile fields
>>
>>66172394
She asks if "it's ma'am" over there has a cute sister. If so, try to arrange a threesome, if not, offer to let her eat her out, but she ain't reciprocating with that beast. If all else fails, she'll summon her stand and teach her a thing or 2 about manners.
>>
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>>66172452
/thread
The only right thing to do
>>
>>66185393
We both know that is you still had a dick you wouldn't be here crying about it, trannyfag
>>
>>66172394
Hold onto a firm nearby object like a table while they jizzed a fat wad into their underwear while blushing profusely.
>>
>>66188969
Based
>>
>>66172394
Return the favor. Dude's not gonna let an ass smacking go unanswered unless he can't help it.
>>66172481
Collapse as his pelvis fucking disintegrates. He still makes a spirited attempt to return the favor before death takes him though.
>>
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>>66172394
Please do not do that again. This is a corporate owned cyberized ass and they will sue.
>>
>>66190154
Maybe they shouldn't have put so much fat in the trunk, then. It's like they want people to spank it.
>>
>>66176667
What's the appropriate reaction? Resisting might only turn her on, the best action is to play dead, like with bears.
>>
>>66184137
>cringe
Ugh.
>>
>>66191095
Personally, I'd act as if I was hurt and my hip or tailbone was fractured and then asked to be taken away by my other party members to a nearby clinic.
>>
>>66184137
>A single random person on some random website mentioned /tg/
Damn how will we ever recover
Might as well just shut the board down we're long gone bros
>>
"Harder."
>>
>>66192987
degenerate
>>
>>66193449
"Harder, mommy!"
>>
>>66172481
Grab her by the hair, spin her around, then let her go and yell "So long gay bowser"
>>
>>66176184
What manga is this
>>
>>66194936
Akame ga kill - ice witch a cute, but justice best girl
>>
>>66194969
Justice is always the best girl, gonna have to add this one to the list
>>
>>66172394
>What would they do?
Roll for seduction.
>>
>>66172394
Ask her what tribe she's from, because I'm a Vandal and know how to have a good time in the sack.
>>
>>66194990
manga is edgelord chuuni shonen shit, justice girl is le psychopath killer. don't bother.
>>
>>66172394
Mating press, only after I finish for her to amazon position me until I black out.
>>
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>>66172394
>[Clank]
>>
>be me
>be Goliath bard recently kicked out of village because too much of a bitch to fight
>try to get laid, but no dice
>gets slapped on ass by image posted
>cry as I finally have someone to connect with
>wake up
>God damn it I was under a dream spell

Why does this always happens?
>>
>>66195314
>Goliath

Fatass
>>
>>66195314
the chad David vs the virgin Goliath, huh
>>
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>>66172394
"Damn, you almost made me spill my coffee. You just playin' or do you wanna fuck?"
>>
>>66195949
>drinking coffee

cringe
>>
>>66172394
You're kidding, right? Snu snu time.
>>
>>66195978
>cringe
yoof
>>
>>66191046
that's the whole point, you get them to slap the cyberass and then you sue them
>>
>>66196156

Ingenious
>>
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>>66172394
>>
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Actually real talk for a minute, I'm socially awkward as fuck, and then when my homie talks me into going out, and some chick goes and fondles my ass and hides behind what I assume is her boyfriend, what am I supposed to do in that scenario? Go beat the fuck out of her boyfriend or what?
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>>66196737
>Go beat the fuck out of her boyfriend or what?
She wants her boyfriend to beat the fuck out of *you*, numnuts. Some get off on stupidly petty shit like that. Just ignore it.
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>>66197728
My gut feeling that I didn't have time for that bullshit was right then. Funny story, few hours later and some random African dude was my best friend ever, and I ended up getting thrown out of a much harder place.
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>>66176640
>XD
I'll allow it, bit only because I was waiting for somebody who would hit 0hp from a slap
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>Bard
He would probably be turned into a heap of broken bones. He is not a strong man.
>Rogue
He'd probably be a bit startled before cussing repeatedly under his breath, paranoid of her being some kind of spy from the spy kingdom.
>Paladin
He'd stare at her and probably cast a healing spell as she clings her hand, broken from slapping a massive, solid, rock hard, ass-plate.
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>>66195978
>not indulging in whatever beverage suits your fancy
sad.
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>>66196737
No you need to beat the fuck out of her, maybe throw some acid in her face
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This barbarians smacks your unicorn on the flank as she walks by. What would they do?
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>>66172394
Easily overpower her because -4 STR lmao
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>>66198504
>Giving -4 strength to a chick that's likely 6'5" and has arms as big as those, along with boulder shoulders

lol
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>>66198639
That's exactly it, either she has -4str or that manly frame belies a manly manhood under the hood
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>>66172452
Why do we even have other replies.
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>>66198639
Those arms aren't that big.
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>>66198639
Yeah. Men are stronger than women, so for a man to have a build like that would be an 18 str, but for a woman that would be more like a 22, or more.
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>>66180959
Wrong, their oath doesn't prevent them from hit and quit it so long as both parties are happy at the end. Hell an Ancients would be damn near a wing man to the stereotypical bard.
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>>66196676
what emotion does this expression convey
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>>66172394
Tell her I'm not a homo
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>>66172394
Slap her back and roll for initiative.
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>>66172394
>>66172481
in both cases, my turbo-twink bard needs dick to get fucked with, applicants without need not apply
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>>66173588
Some comissioner's porn collection that floats on the border between actual porn and /tg/ magical realm jokes
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>>66172592
>log horizon will never get another season and the TTRPG will never be translated

Why live.
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>>66175103
choke my undead self on his cock
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>>66172394
why would someone try to flirt with someone as ugly as me
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>>66200060
arousal
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>>66172394
Well, he's a Crab clan bushi so... I can only assume he slaps her shit for being a gaijin in Rokugan.
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>>66176245
Bruh, if only you knew the truth. It's like conspiracy level insanity with characters that are drawn a lot. There's this place called requestdenied that engages in filling up artist commission slots with the same few characters, so when a new OC pops up and gets a lot of art very fast, there you go.
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>>66200548
What went through this persons mind when conceiving the design for this character
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>>66200990
>ass Ass ASs ASS starts playing
If you're straight you realize exactly what went through their mind.
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>>66172394
Permanently spend some AP to curse her for the rest of her life. Maybe impotency a swollen tongue or backpain. Maybe curse her entire tribe and ruin their harvest for a year or two. Or let them only birth crippled children.
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>>66202307
AP as in Astralpoints?
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>>66172452
I will not lose this challenge, and when we're through neither of us shall be able to sit for a year and a day.
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>>66202307
lmao mages are the most petty of people
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>>66172452
All replies after this were unneeded.
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>>66198470
Follow him around and be more useless than the cavalier fighter.
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>>66200745
Of course
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>>66172394
First, wonder how she's balancing that battle axe when it has no counterweight; then, wonder why gravity and the laws of physics have falling into a senseless /tg/ reality.
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"Please, I'm here for work, and have no interest in whatever your intention is."
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>>66172394
Is she supposed to look like BOTW Zelda or am I just seeing things?
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>>66172452
>It appears we've arrived at an impasse.
Ends in sex.
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>>66184137
>butthurt over a taiwanese mural site
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>>66172394
blink a few seconds in the past, spank her before she spaks me
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>>66172452
Best of all possle answers.
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>>66172394
this brawler smacks your character and his friends ass what happens?
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>>66172394
HOHO is this a challenge to a duel?
If so i Happily except!
it's been so long since i've had any fun!
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>>66172394
Well since my character is a (high charisma) tiefling slut asshole bard level 7 thief level 5, she would probably say "2 platinum for a tumble, 7 gold for a dance, honey." then make a 'tss' sound while poking her own asscheeck with a finger and then say "hotter than a hellfire bomb, sweet tits."
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>>66207253
Well congratulations, you got
yourselves caught. What's the next
step of your master plan?
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>>66195978
at least he isn't guzzling cum like you are OH DAMN
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>>66175990
ahh, yamashite kAKOI
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>"What? Only that hard?"
>Whip around, eyes flaring and hand reared back
>I go into a rage and make an unarmed attack on that barbarian's ass.
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>>66211789
ABSOLUTELY BASED
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>>66209883
but what's the difference between a tumble and a dance

wait is platinum more valuable than gold or is it the other way around?
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>>66172394
Finger guns and keep on my way
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>>66207936
Vaguely, but not really.
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>>66212104
Respectable and classy.
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>>66172452
Literally my character, thanks anon
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>>66212172
Cursed image.
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>>66175306
> that one fat-chested redheaded Barbarian bitch (not Rowena, the one that begins with a T)

do tell
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>>66212073
Tumble is a euphemism that means sex. And gold is less valuable than platinum because it's old edition d&d
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>>66172394
Swoon
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>>66172394
Enslaved and joins my harem.
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Cut off the DM's limbs for attempting magical real bullshit. That's all he's eating.
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>>66213538
>smacking ass is magical realms

A game can have romance/sex in it, you know. If the concentration of interactions is primarily sex, then it may be magical realms.
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Use Bigby's Hand and give a smack right back.
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>>66175103
A man with that fashion-sense is always welcome here at me table, bring yer tea o'vr here.
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>>66211789
>Not being a monk and flurry of slapping that ass.
Smh
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>>66207737
Shut up
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>>66207737
>implying the end of the wood just isn't super dense and heavy
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>>66172394
> be a fucking super-powered teenage twink with albinism and a super degenerative disease
> receive a smack on the ass from a beefy blonde

Probably would nut a little.
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>>66172394
Be surprised because she didn't expect the barbarian liked young girls. She'd still lean into it if ax-fuck goes for the ass rub.
>>66172481
Is it Tuesday already, onesan?
>>66175103
Sip tea and try to remember when to hold out her pinkie. While sweating profusely, because she only pretends to be fancy and wants his classy ass.
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>>66211789
>reared
heh
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>>66172394
Blush and watch as our party amazon tries to fight her for my hand
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>>66195079
Can concur. It looked interesting at first, but the edge made me drop it like it's hot.
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>>66172394
New waifu acquired, that’s what
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>>66221755
What did he mean by this
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>>66211789
What would a 1 roll contra 20 roll do in this case?
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>>66175760
>>zweihander
>virgin spotted

virgin spotted
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>>66200990
I havn't fapped today and fapping is the only thing on my mind, 29more days and I'll be a chad.
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>>66203804
>nothing personal kid intensifies.
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>>66221885
The party does everything, and everyone, together.
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>>66172394
>What would they do?

Be confused.
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>>66172394
Do it again mommy.
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>>66200990
Mortal Combat but without the weird mouths.
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>>66208623
>look ma im desperately trying to fit in
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>>66224319
Hm
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>>66172394
>smacking a spikey, metallic tiefling dominatrix on the ass
Be impressed she pulled that but firmly inform her of who's going to be charge if they take it to the bedroom before checking if her girlfriend/sub is interested in having a threesome that night. Likely answer is yes, so end up maybe giving her a lesson on both sides of dom/sub play.
If girlfriend says no, wingman for the barbarian and send her off with another candidate.
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I would turn 360 degrees and scream YOU LOOK LIKE YOU FUCK BLACK GUYS so she'd fuck off and leave me to my peace
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>>66172394
call the police
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>>66228574
>before checking if her girlfriend/sub is interested
Pussywhiped by one's own sub. Pathetic.
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>>66229011
Okay, what about gentle pat and invite for a dri... uh... milkshake?
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>>66229626
well, a milshake sounds good
if you're trying to bring the lolis to the yard
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>>66229522
You realize that consent, planning ahead and respecting a sub's limits is a big thing in the BDSM community, right?
Even then, it's a fairly new relationship, at least in them dating, and the sub is the one who initiated after realizing "sharp girl hot" and that a smack with a whip had gotten her excited. PC is into it, but still learning and wary of ever going too far due to her ancestry.
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>>66229876
>consent, planning ahead and respecting a sub's limits
In modern day, sure. In medieval-fantasy-land with a devil-spawn in latex doing the domming, I can't help but think the rules would be much looser. Mind you, I think it's fine to pretend to be a hard-ass dom in the bedroom while you're really the bottom, but wearing the getup outside and fronting in front of others seems gauche. Like young children wearing grown up clothes far too comically large for them.
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>>66230202
I admit, that's a more measured response than I expected from what initially seemed like bait. As for the situation, true but a lot of groups do play with more modern sensibilities and it made sense for a daemon-spawn attempting to both enjoy herself while denying the darker impulses of her nature. And it's mildly tricky to not look like a dom when you appear to be Pinhead's chromed sister in black leather armor. She'll get more confident in time, but she is just starting into all of this and needs some experience with both her role and romantic relationships at all before reaching that point.
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>>66229761
or this can play out like Pulp Fiction, maybe minus the part with overdose
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>>66230614
>that's a more measured response than I expected
I'm an oldfag and like sincerely discussing and speculating on the strange and fantastical situations and what-ifs that the hobby affords, when given the chance. Taking obvious bait or inane questions/musings and having entire threads seriously discussing it and offering their sincere and thought out opinions. It's what attracted me to the place in the first place.
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>>66172394
My 2'4 middle-aged mousefolk wizard would likely go on with his day after recovering from such a hefty blow. He's too busy to deal with such nonsense.

My half-orc fighter would have a very hard time comprehending why she just layed hands upon a man who wore a leper's mask. Also would be too busy to care.
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Probably nearly die
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>>66231135
I remember those days. I used to be more of a lurker then, but it was when /tg/ was /tg/
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>>66231375
Me too. Wish I'd participated more when I had the chance.
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Look back at her amusedly, admire the nice specimen of a woman and try not to look like a bitch from the heavy slap to his derriere. These bones ain't what they used to be, and he was never exemplary in physique to begin with. Ah, at least he's still got it.
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>>66172394
Must be some weird local tradition. Savages.
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>>66231810
When in Rome...
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>>66172394
>>66172481
Take dash as my action to run away as far as possible then hide as my bonus action.

t. Virgin Rogue
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>>66176767
An uprising because of the monopoly Alchemists have on the medical field and the ignorance of the average man even being able to scrape their knee without crying for a potion.
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>>66172394
Challenge her to the duel and beat the crap out of her. Then go my own way.
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>>66172394
Establish dominance by force fucking her wherever she and my character are. Take up a T pose when I jizzum. If that doesn't work then proceed to play her ass like a bongo drum.
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>>66172394
Follow her upstairs and do the fuck with her.
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>>66236033
gross
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>>66236033
Can’t she do the fuck with me instead?
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>>66178243
kek at this uber beta
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>>66172394
Tell her that she should probably disinfect that hand. Slapping a plaguemage on his robed ass is not healthy. Shell realize that real fast tho once she sees his diseased face.
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>>66239016
I don't understand you.
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>>66172394
Not now woman im doing SCIENCE!
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>>66172394
Keep walking, check my money pouch. Fucking barbarians every time. If they start singing and waving around mugs of ale I'm so fucking outta here.
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>>66172394
Pop my Aasimar wings and ask if she's ever wanted to bang an angel.
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>>66244486
>tee heh i can be ur angle or ur devl ; )
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>>66245860
Hah
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>>66172394
Blush and say "thank you"
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>>66172676
cringe
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>>66172863
cringe
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>>66173149
>>66173176
cringe
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>gives you this look
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>>66176626
make sure you piss him off enough to kill you
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>>66176667
stop erping.
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>>66172394
slap her dick
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>>66191236
seething cringefag
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>>66196046
>yoof
BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP
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>>66200929
link?
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>>66207737
she's not balancing it. she's holding it. with her hands.
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>>66213665
no, it may not.
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>>66227406
he is fitting in, you're not.
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>>66228906
GIGABASED
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>>66229876
lol
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>>66231375
2006 isn't old.
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>>66235774
WE LIVE IN A MEDIEVAL SOCIETY
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>>66201389
Honestly from a dick point of view this character seem to have been designed for mass dick appeal. Ass is the main focus yes but there are some treats for tiddiefags (such as myself) and footfags.

It may be a shocking and daring hypothesis, but I think whoever designed this character appreciates beautiful women.



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