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How do you all get motivated to do anything?

I ask because I’m a 30-year-old high school drop-out with a decade-long gap of unemployment. I’ve never been to college. I’ve been officially diagnosed by a psychologist as having: major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. I’ve been officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Since the year 2013 I’ve already had seven psychotherapists, five psychiatrists, one psychologist... I’ve been prescribed and taken five antidepressants (Lexapro, Trazodone, Nefazodone, Remeron, Wellbutrin), one anti-anxiety agent (Klonopin), one antipsychotic (Abilify), and one psychostimulant (Adderall). Nothing is proving to be particularly effective at treating my depression and anxiety.

Nothing has proven to be effective at motivating me into doing anything. Although I’ve been fascinated by science since the second grade, I’ve been unable to motivate myself into pursuing a higher education. Unable to motivate myself into pursuing a career in science. Unable to motivate myself into seeking any employment whatsoever.

For years I have looked (with envy) at all of these threads on /sci/ with people discussing their majors, their careers... discussing topics that go way over my head. And I just keep on wondering to myself, “how? How do they manage to keep on going? How do they do it? What motivates them?”

What is motivating all of you to pursue higher education, to pursue careers in science, to do anything with your lives whatsoever?
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>>10561627
girls, and avoiding physical and mental misery. Nothing else works for me.
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>>10561627
Op, I have a few questions. Type out your gut reactions and don’t tailor your ideas to sound intelligent. I want to read your responses how they appear in your heart.

Are you religius?
What religion?
Do you believe in a soul? Afterlife?
When was your first experience with death?
Who died? Were you close?
When were you last motivated?
Can you remember the thoughts prior to your impetus?
Why did you drop out?
Do you work?
Do you have friends?
Were you abused as a child?
Were you bullied in school?
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>>10561710

>Are you religius?

No.

>What religion?

None.

>Do you believe in a soul?

No.

>Afterlife?

No.

>When was your first experience with death?

Not sure. I think that I may have been about six years old.

>Who died?

The father of one of my cousins.

>Were you close?

No.

>When were you last motivated?

Early- to mid-2017.

>Can you remember the thoughts prior to your impetus?

My thoughts when I was last motivated into doing something? I suppose that I was simply following orders. Back in 2017 of my psychotherapists had told me to start looking for a job. So that’s what I tried doing. But then the Human Resources managers would tell me during job interviews that nobody is going to hire me due to my decade-long gap of unemployment.

>Why did you drop out?

I absolutely loathed school. I hated just about everything about it. My classmates did not like me. My teachers did not like me. I was sick almost all of the time. My parents forced me to go to school even on those days that I felt sick. I was failing most of my classes. I had begged my parents on several occasions to take me out of school and have me home-schooled instead. One day I simply decided to stop going to school. April 25th, 2006. That was my last day of school.

>Do you work?

No.

>Do you have friends?

No.

>Were you abused as a child?

Yes.

>Were you bullied in school?

Yes.
>>
Meditate on this problem for 100 hours and come to a solution.
>>
I have ADHD and depression aswell. Seems also like I got me some nice panic attacks since like 4 months.

My life is a struggle, but I get better at managing my depression - and relatively untouched by that, I am doing fine in Compsci (about to PhD., if it fails a nice programming job is waiting.)

Why don't I simply give up tho? (Like I often want) Mainly because I found purpose in life (am religious, but i am sure you need at least some kind of metaphysics) - and I follow that purpose even tho everything seems to fall apart.

Therapy was good and all, but faith (and the purpose I derived) made and makes me pull through in the first place.
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>>10561758
Anon, I’m sorry to hear about your situation, truely. I failed out of college first time around but I kept at it an am doing alright. There’s always hope when you’re willing to put faith in yourself and accept a tough challenge.

Here’s my advice:
Get into philosophy. It won’t solve any of your problems. In fact, the heightened cognitive state you’ll experience while engaging yourself may actually exacerbate how you view issues. This is important. It will provide you with ample opportunity to develop resilience. This is key.

In engaging of philosophy, really think through the arguments. They’re will be times when things click and a light goes off. Make notes of this and just aim to learn, even if it speculative at first. Delve into it first before you start discerning practical wisdom from speculative masturbation.

Next, go to temple, church, buddhists meditation centers, etc, and engage with the people there. Be honest with them when you communicate, and keep ypur mind open. This will further two things:
1. Your feelings of connection to a community
2. Your acceptance of forces greater than your control.
When you experience a powerful spiritual episode it can be easy to stagnate, but keep moving and developing.

In this step, you can also try networking to see if people in this community can find you work of some sort. Be as modest, humble, and greatful as possible if you find a job through someone else.

I said it already, but entertain the idea of a soul, or a god, or a pantheon of gods.

Think of something that interests you and take out some books/pirate some books on it. Study it in a library. Find a quiet spot and just lose yourself in the material. Learning is incredibly psychologically beneficial. Try to find some related field that you can putt into practice in some manner. This is generally difficult.
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2/2

Also, if you haven’t already, look into the human reward system. Don’t stop thinking about it until you can explain it in your sleep. It is an incredible and complex system which drives many forms of behavior. You may gain useful insight. Use this insight to improve and plan out some type of schedule you can operate on.

If you haven’t or don’t already, clean your room, and every other area you interact with on a daily basis. Visual salience affects the psych in profound ways. A dirty room/house will fuck you up under the radar.

Does your childhood trauma still loom in your thoughts?

If so, no therapist will be able to effectively assist you until you come to an understanding on why this happened, and that only comes with knowledge and exposure to various social situations. All parents fuck their children up somehow. It’s just in our nature to pick out the flaws and beat them to a pulp. This is self-abusive behavior, and nourishes anger rather than extirpates it.

Hopefully at least some of that was helpful.

Finally, get off 4chan.
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>>10561758
>But then the Human Resources managers would tell me during job interviews that nobody is going to hire me due to my decade-long gap of unemployment.
What kind of jobs were you applying for? I doubt that you couldn't find employment at some soul-sucking dead-end place if you really wanted to. How the fuck did you survive all this time without having a job, btw? Government money? Parents?
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>>10561794
>>10561815

Thanks for the advice. People in the past have already recommended that I look into philosophy, spirituality, religion, meditation, among other things. I’ve looked into all of those things somewhat, but unfortunately I have very little patience and a short attention span. My medication hasn’t made it easy for me. The antipsychotic Abilify, especially, has caused significant cognitive difficulties. Luckily my fifth psychiatrist decided to stop prescribing it to me this year. Maybe this year I’ll have a bit more energy to go out and do things, like researching all of these topics.

>>10561842

>What kind of jobs were you applying for?

Security guard work.

>How the fuck did you survive all this time without having a job, btw? Government money? Parents?

My mother has supported me.
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>>10561884
>security gaurd taking abilify
>roll up to rob some shit
>security gaurd’s reaction times are so delayed we walk right past him and here him yell stop as we drive away with the goods

M8, stop letting doctors that make money off your willingness to take mind altering chemicals fuck with your neurochemical balances. That shit is pseudoscience in practice. Reality is rough and impossible to accurately estimate. This is especially true whit respect to systems as complex as the brain.
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>>10561627
Could it just be that you lack discipline?
I suggest trying to following: every day, do something you don't feel particularly motivated to do. Start with something relatively small and just do it. Don't think about how you don't want to do it. Don't think about anything. Just shut off your mind and do it. Ideally early in the morning, as soon as you wake up. It doesn't have to be the same thing every day either. You can make a list of things that need to be done (maybe house/yard work, exercise etc..) and you just pick any random think each morning and do it.
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>>10561627
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njDLNt-1ugM
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just tryna b a sick cunt m8
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>>10561884
how often do you masturbate
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>>10561627
adderall worked wonders for me, but I have adhd
still made it to one of the best universities in the country without my meds, but struggled once I got there
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>>10561627
Youtube carnivore diet. Your depression will most likely go away on the second or third day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLF29w6YqXs
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>>10561627
Have you tried mushrooms, lsd or mdma?
>DUDE
Not offering them as an actual solution just curious about it since you've taken a wide variety of prescription meds.
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>>10562283
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>>10561627
>>10562278
This. I never had to study before university and first semester kicked my ass before I finally diagnosed. If you really have ADD/ADHD the meds make a whole world of difference. Just be careful not to take more than you need. It's easy to fuck yourself up, and if you're really having that horrible of a time with motivation, then Adderall, Vyvanse, etc will be tough to manage responsibly.

And this may sound redundant but, before I got to uni I really didn't give a shit about CS and mathematics. I was forced into the field because I was eligible for a lot of STEM scholarships. But I had no desire to do particularly well. What helped me learn to enjoy it was the whole "fake it till you make it" idea. Just told myself that I loved it until I realized that I did. In the beginning it's hard, but I enjoyed using it as a crutch to hold up my ego and make me feel superior to all the art/humanities majors. Eventually you won't need that sort of artificial confidence but if it's necessary to look down on others while you build yourself up, then do it. I find that it really helps you see how far you've gone when you look back at others and see them left in dirt.
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>>10561627
Can you build muscle? I can't build muscle and I hate myself
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go get talk therapy

t. doing that for one year and life has dramatically improved
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>>10561627

Get talk therapy, seriously.

t. similar problems and have been doing it for a year with great results
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>>10561627
Securing a future for my family.
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>What is motivating all of you to pursue higher education, to pursue careers in science, to do anything with your lives whatsoever?

They want to do it and are mentally stable enough to do it.

Since you specifically mention mental issues, it's conceivable that either your issues or medication have mentally affected your ability to stay motivated, or it simply doesn't make sense for you to get invested in such tiring careers when you don't have the mental energy, health or stability required for it.
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>>10561627
you won't get it waiting for it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgKM1-6ab6s

also it sounds like you have 10+ years of memories psyching you out. You're going to have to nut up and move on.
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>>10561627
People praise me for it. I find inherent joy in the beautiful connectedness between ideas. I enjoy the process of learning. I sometimes turn my focus towards STEM topics in an effort to avoid a life problem which I don't understand. It's comforting to do something worthwhile that I can understand completely when faced with the terrifying uncertainty and lack of control we have in life.
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My favorite life altering activity is working out. Just putting that out there.
Though, as you have tried many therapies that didn't work, three possible alternatives to treating long lasting depression would be
ketamine, which has been succeeding in clinical trials in the past years
stimulation techniques (tDCS, TMS) which show some promising results
electroconvulsive therapy which works just as well now as it did years ago, although the exact mechanisms of action are still unknown

Hope some of these help.
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>>10564142
What if I can't build muscle?
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>>10561627
Collect SSDI.
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>>10561627
>How do you all get motivated to do anything?

College is actually super boring. I was in-fact nearly bored in all my classes. The only classes I was able to tolerate was my English composition and arts and craft class. Showing up to class felt like walking through a desert at times.

If a person took high-school seriously, they didn't have to face a burden of being bored at college because they'll skip taking remedial classes.

I am now taking pre-calculus. I was simply able to tolerate the boredom and college got easier the longer I stayed.
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>>10564161
Replying even though I know there is a meme of this going around.
Don't workout for building muscle, work out for overall health. The apparent muscles aren't the only thing that gets more resilient given the impetus to do so (vascular system, connective tissue, hell, it even gets you lymph moving)



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