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File: Old king on throne.jpg (136 KB, 940x1288)
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QUIET DOWN!
...
...
...
...
You may all be the voices of previous kings, But I'm the latest of you pieces of shit, and I might have been the one around when all these ruins were made as such, but I'm the one who talks here!
...
...
...
Now, where was I in my reminiscing?

>Welcome to Undying King Quest

Before All went to Shit, I was a king of men of the north as were all of you, and we survived this harsh place by...

>Stubbornness, the people of this land just didn't care all that much about the cold, and every attempt to trespass upon their sovereignty or property was met with war.

>Raiding, ships full of Northmen were the nightmare of all, man, dwarf, elf, and orc alike on the coast and rivers

>Trade, Being on the top of the world allows one to be at the prime stopping point for traders looking to brave the northern seas, all met with warm hospitality.
>>
>>3562913
>Trade, Being on the top of the world allows one to be at the prime stopping point for traders looking to brave the northern seas, all met with warm hospitality.
>>
>>3562913
>Stubbornness, the people of this land just didn't care all that much about the cold, and every attempt to trespass upon their sovereignty or property was met with war.
>>
>>3562913
>Stubbornness
>>
>>3562913
>Stubborness
>>
>>3562913

>>3562930
>>3562944
>>3562964
>>3562966
>>3562969
Ah, Yes Our Kingdom was a stubborn one, YOU BASTARDS INCLUDED! But having such a strategic position as being in control of the only land pass around the Spine of the World not controlled by the dwarves meant that the stubbornness served us well. how did we hold on to our land anyway...

>Choose in order of Prevalence

> The might of our Armies

>The power of our Magic

>The quality of our Technology
>>
>>3563062
> The might of our Armies
>The power of our Magic
>The quality of our Technology
>>
>>3563062
>> The might of our Armies
>>The quality of our Technology
>>The power of our Magic

Magic is for elves and FAGS
>>
>>3563062
>Armies, Magic, Tech

We have our shamans.
>>
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>>3563062
>>3563062
>The quality of our Technology
>The might of our Armies
>The power of our Magic
Disregard magic, acquire airships.
>>
>>3563062

>>3563161
>>3563170
>>3563202
>>3563205
Ah, yes, our Armies were among the mightiest. But I can't quite remember what was our runner up.

>Magic 1st, Tech second
>Tech 1st, Magic second
>>
>>3563229
Magic.

STORM SEERS, WE ARE THE FENJREKA
>>
>>3563229
>Tech 1st, Magic second
>>
>>3563229
>>Magic 1st, Tech second
>>
>>3563229
>Tech 1st, Magic second
>>
>>3563229
>Tech 1st, Magic second
>>
>>3563229
>Tech 1st, Magic second
>>
>>3563229
Gotta be the Technords
>>
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>>3563229
Technology first, magic second. Here we come chain axe vikings with stealth mecha suits and huge rise of legends style mega spider mechs
>>
>>3563229

>>3563234
>>3563243
>>3563258
>>3563284
>>3563304
>>3563313
>>3563338
>>3563592
Ah, yes, Tech was our runner up.

>Time to spend the points in their respective areas.

>>Military - 30
>Training LVL0 - Quality of Training - 1, doubles per LVL

>Organization LVL0 - Quality of Chain of Command, Logistics, and Leadership - 3 increases by 3 per LVL

>Numbers LVL 0 - Your numbers - 5 per LVL

>>Technology - 20
>Metallurgy/Toolmaking LVL0- Quality and Quantity of Tool production - 2, doubles per LVL

>Architecture LVL0 - Quality of Buildings - 3, 3 more per LVL

Civil Sciences LVL 0 - General Quality of Life - 1, doubles per LVL

Steam/ClockworksLVL0 - The Making of Machines - 10, 10 more per LVL
>>Magic - 10
>Evocations LVL0- The magic of Destruction and Creation - 3, 3 more per LVL

>Necromancy LVL0 - The Magic of Life and Death - 4, 4 more per LVL

>Enchantment LVL0- The imposition of Magic upon the world - 5, 5 more per LVL

>Divine LVL0- Contacting God for help- 6, 6 more per LVL

Next, we develop the character of the king himself
>>
>>3563607
Millitary
>Training: 3 [9 pts]
>Organisation: 2 [9 pts]
>Numbers: 2 [10 pts]
2 pts left

Tech
>Toolmaking: 2 [6pts]
>Architecture: 2 [9pts]
>Civil sciences: 2 [3 pts]
>steam: 0
2 pts left over

>Magic: Evocation: 2 [9 pts]
1 pt left over.


Done
>>
>>3563644
Also, The king needs to be a raging nutjob, constantly screaming at the voices in his head to be silent. He is king because of the voices of all prior kings in his head.

This should be the best king.
>>
>>3563652
Close, very close, but not quite.
>>
>>3563663
you misunderstand, I am describing the best end.

I shall return in 8 hours ish.
>>
>>3563665
Well, that's already happened really. You're just not screaming out loud.
>>
>>3563607
Military
>Training: 3 - 1+2+4=7
>Organisation: 2 - 3+6=9
>Numbers: 2 - 5+5=10
4 remain

Technology
>Metallurgy/Toolmaking: 2 - 2+4=6
>Architecture: 1 - 3
>Civil Sciences: 1 - 1
>Steam/Clockworks: 1 - 10
0 remain

Magic
>Evocations: 1 - 3
>Necromancy: 0 - 0
>Enchantment: 1 - 5
>Divine: 0 - 0
2 remain
>>
>>3563731
This but with everything in the Magic section devoted to Necromancy and Enchantment.
Skyrim Taught me well
>>
>>3563607
Millitary
>Training: [11 pts]
>Organisation: [11 pts]
>Numbers: [7 pts]
1 pts left

Tech
>Toolmaking: [9 pts]
>Architecture: [5 pts]
>Civil sciences: [3 pts]
>Steam: [3 pts]
0 pts left over

Magic:
>Enchantment: [9 pts]
1 pt left over
>>
>not going for magitech
...If you say so.

As for the points, I'll go with >>3563773, except for taking one point out of Toolmaking and putting it in Civil Sciences.
>>
Everybody, Please just put the level you wish to put the area to be and I'll do the math. Makes it less confusing that way.

>>Military - 4
>Training LVL3 - Quality of Training - 8, doubles per LVL

>Organization LVL2 - Quality of Chain of Command, Logistics, and Leadership - 9, increases by 3 per LVL

>Numbers LVL 2 - Your numbers - 5 per LVL

This seems to be in favor.

Now, Magic and Technology seems to be all over the place, Continue sorting that out.
>>
>>3563773
I should really stop skiming, I just realized I did that wrong

Tech
>Toolmaking: Lvl.3 [4 pts]
>Architecture: Lvl. 1[3pts]
>Civil sciences:Lvl. 2 [2 pts]
>Steam: Lvl. 1[10 pts]
1 pts left over

Magic:
>Enchantment: Lvl.2 [10 pts]
0 pt left over
>>
>>3563818
I can also Roll a d5 If this vote doesn't get sorted out.
>>
>>3563961
I'll change >>3563731 to >>3563912 if it's mathematically accurate.
>>
>>3563731
I'll back this though personally, I prefer necromancy instead of evocation. It would also explain all the dead kings talking.

>>3563742
Agreed. Necromancy is better then evocation if were pursuing tech.
>>
OKAY THEN

THIS HERE WINS,


>>Technology - 0
>Metallurgy/Toolmaking LVL2- Quality and Quantity of Tool production - 8, doubles per LVL

>Architecture LVL1 - Quality of Buildings - 6, 3 more per LVL

>Civil Sciences LVL 1 - General Quality of Life - 2, doubles per LVL

>Steam/Clockworks LVL1 - The Making of Machines - 10, 10 more per LVL


BECAUSE OF THIS
>>3563912
BEING INCORRECT! SETTLED? SETTLED.

Now it's between
Evocation and Necromancy to accompany the Enchantment

1 for Evocation

2 for Necromancy
>>
>>3564946
2
>>
>>3564946
1
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>
>>3565152
Well, that's option 2 chosen, Necromancy
>>
>>3565216
>>Military - 30
>Training LVL3 - Quality of Training - 8, doubles per LVL

>Organization LVL2 - Quality of Chain of Command, Logistics, and Leadership - 9, increases by 3 per LVL

>Numbers LVL 2 - Your numbers - 5 per LVL

>>Technology - 20
>Metallurgy/Toolmaking LVL2- Quality and Quantity of Tool production - 8, doubles per LVL

>Architecture LVL1 - Quality of Buildings - 6, 3 more per LVL

>Civil Sciences LVL 1 - General Quality of Life - 2, doubles per LVL

>Steam/ClockworksLVL1 - The Making of Machines - 20, 10 more per LVL
>>Magic - 10
>Evocations LVL0- The magic of Destruction and Creation - 3, 3 more per LVL

>Necromancy LVL1 - The Magic of Life and Death - 8, 4 more per LVL

>Enchantment LVL1- The imposition of Magic upon the world - 10, 5 more per LVL

>Divine LVL0- Contacting God for help- 6, 6 more per LVL


STOP YOUR SQUABBLING, I GET IT! WE HAD GOOD ARMIES, NOT THE BEST TECHNOLOGY, AND SHIT MAGIC. STOP ARGUING!

Now, back to reminiscing. Back when I was Ruling normally I was...

>... the Finest of Generals. Tall and Strong, A Breaker of Castles, guardian to all the populace, I could slay knights and lords and smash armies with contemptuous ease, Defending the passes to the Nation with without trouble. This penchant for leadership and organization also translated to ruling rather well.

>... An amazing ruler. I was able to squeeze every last bit of taxes and levies out of a province without harming it, build roads, organize logistics, and pander to the more distrustful nobility with ease. This ability to organize and focus lent itself to both Magic and War in smaller amounts

>...Magically talented. I wasn't bad at Ruling or War, but I loved and was quite good at magic, able to make the dead walk and the world dance about at my whim. This focus also lent itself to Ruling rather well.
>>
>>3565332
>>... the Finest of Generals. Tall and Strong, A Breaker of Castles, guardian to all the populace, I could slay knights and lords and smash armies with contemptuous ease, Defending the passes to the Nation with without trouble. This penchant for leadership and organization also translated to ruling rather well.
>>
>>3565332
>Finest of generals

Oh sure you were, But everyone knows I was the better mage, you no good brutish thug. Its a wonder you can scratch your arse without a battle axe in your hand
>>
>>3565332
>... the Finest of Generals. Tall and Strong, A Breaker of Castles, guardian to all the populace, I could slay knights and lords and smash armies with contemptuous ease, Defending the passes to the Nation with without trouble. This penchant for leadership and organization also translated to ruling rather well.
>>
>>3565332

>>3565346
>>3565380
>>3565522
Oh, Shut It, Great Grand Uncle! We both held the royal scepter and both have used it for cracking a few heads! Especially since Great Great Granddad turned it into a cane sword and magic staff at once.

Unfortunately, It turned out that even a great warrior such as I needs an heir, the unfortunate part being that I lost the... parts a while ago due to an orc's lucky knee and spiked kneepad. and So, I searched for (and found the wrong type of) a Genie, and wished that "My line would sit the throne forever". He then Made the ghosts of my ancestors (You Lot) posses the throne, scepter, and crown as well as...

>...Turned Me into an immortal undead(Specify either Wraith, Wight, Or Vampire)

>...Made me immortal and magically adhered me to the throne.

>Linked my health to that of My Kingdom, Meaning I've been tottering about like an old man since The Collapse.
>>
>>3565572
>Immortal and stuck in our throne

Back in my day, we only used licensed and tried genies!
I recall we had one called boris under the throne, but noooooooooo! SOMEONE had to go and lose him. I'M LOOKING AT YOU NEPHEW!

I am bored though, we need some new slaves to carry the throne around, or did you get rid of the slaves!
>>
>>3565572
>Turned into an undead (Wraith)
>>
>>3565586
We can't Carry the throne around, It weighs upward of a ton you nincompoop!
>>
>>3565572
>Turned into an undead (Wraith)
>>
>>3565646
We never even had slaves! What're you on about?
>>
>>3565572
>...Turned Me into an immortal undead(wight)
>>
>>3565572

>>3565586
>>3565644
>>3565653
>>3565717
I ever got to use Boris because SOMEBODY fucked off with him to cover his Gambling debt!

... Anyway, he turned me into a Wraith, the hardest undead to put down. Semi-ethereal, stronger and more durable than any normal man, and able to drag themselves out of the depths of the underworld, Wraiths are Ghosts that hold themselves to solidity and the mortal plane by force of will. In this case, however, It was magically assisted. I ended up hauling My own corpses back to the Capital entombment.

This, naturally, Freaked out the...

>...Faith. They saw you as an abomination, and not truly the king, not truly You. And so they excommunicated you and brought the peasantry up in droves. The Nobles remained at your side, however, and would answer the call if you found their descendants.

>...Nobles. They thought "He's obviously dead, that means it's Succession Crisis Time!". You were Pious in life, however, And still are in death. The Faith remained stalwart. The peasantry remembers you as you were.

>...Peasantry. They thought you were going to eat their souls. They Rioted so hard that The nobles declared rebellion so they would not be killed by their own servants in the dark of night.
>>
>>3565572
>Turned into an undead (Wraith)
>>
>>3565826
>...Faith. They saw you as an abomination, and not truly the king, not truly You. And so they excommunicated you and brought the peasantry up in droves. The Nobles remained at your side, however, and would answer the call if you found their descendants.
>>
>>3565826
>>...Nobles. They thought "He's obviously dead, that means it's Succession Crisis Time!". You were Pious in life, however, And still are in death. The Faith remained stalwart. The peasantry remembers you as you were.
>>
>>3565826
>...Nobles. They thought "He's obviously dead, that means it's Succession Crisis Time!". You were Pious in life, however, And still are in death. The Faith remained stalwart. The peasantry remembers you as you were.

It's a lot easier to kill some nobles than to reform a religion.
>>
>>3565844
Fair, changing from >>3565835.
>>
>>3565826

>>3565842
>>3565843
>>3565844
Ah, Yes, The faith remained Stalwart. Fucking Nobles and their succession boners. What kind of God did The Faith worship? Well...

>The Queen of Ice, ruler of all the frost and cold winds of the north. Very impartial, and very rarely even grants power to clerics. Such Clerics have often earned the attention of the Ice Queen directly, and are able to trap armies in blizzards and create constructs of ice.

>The Shade Lord, Guardian of the Deepest Dark and Warden of Sol's Daughter. A defender of the masses and paragon of free thought. Clerics are usually peaceful, but those Whom are consecrated in the Darknesses and the light of the Moon wear hoods and masks, wandering the land providing help to those in need. The Shade Lord, in times of the UTMOST NEED ONLY, be called upon to come and wreck shit personally.

> The Iron Warrior, Patron of War and Smithing. Somewhat contemptuous of Magic. Grants patronage and some small power to all Warriors and Smiths of repute. Proper Clerics are juggernauts in melee, laying about themselves and spreading an unbearable weight and heat. Allows Calling of Iron Guardians and other beings of the Iron Faith.


If you want further explanations or clarifications, just ask.
>>
>>3566034
> The Iron Warrior, Patron of War and Smithing. Somewhat contemptuous of Magic. Grants patronage and some small power to all Warriors and Smiths of repute. Proper Clerics are juggernauts in melee, laying about themselves and spreading an unbearable weight and heat. Allows Calling of Iron Guardians and other beings of the Iron Faith.
>>
>>3566034
> The Iron Warrior, Patron of War and Smithing. Somewhat contemptuous of Magic. Grants patronage and some small power to all Warriors and Smiths of repute. Proper Clerics are juggernauts in melee, laying about themselves and spreading an unbearable weight and heat. Allows Calling of Iron Guardians and other beings of the Iron Faith
Even Gods agree that magic is for pussies
>>
This is one of the votes I wasn't quite expecting to go this way. I expected the one where you can literally call upon a deity to help you out personally to be winning. This is a SUPER IMPORTANT vote that I need at least 5 votes here for. Not necessarily for one choice, just in general.
>>
>>3566034
>Iron Warrior

We are a stubborn man ruling powerful and stubborn people with a stubborn god on our side.
>>
>>3566034
>The Iron Warrior, Patron of War and Smithing. Somewhat contemptuous of Magic. Grants patronage and some small power to all Warriors and Smiths of repute. Proper Clerics are juggernauts in melee, laying about themselves and spreading an unbearable weight and heat. Allows Calling of Iron Guardians and other beings of the Iron Faith.
Enchanting and Necromancy look to make us exceptionally practical people, steel can't be dispelled after all, and corpses aren't much use on the battlefield.
It's too bad we didn't get to pick alchemy anywhere, or we'd be trundling along in mobile fortresses run on refined pig fats, and spewing gouts of flame out of tubes.
>>
>>3566251
fucking Mad Max here
>>
>>3566034

>The Queen of Ice, ruler of all the frost and cold winds of the north. Very impartial, and very rarely even grants power to clerics. Such Clerics have often earned the attention of the Ice Queen directly, and are able to trap armies in blizzards and create constructs of ice.

I think the attrition will be worth it. Strong warriors are good but no army can march through a blizzard.
>>
>>3566251
That's what Steam and Clockworks are for
>>
>>3566282
This guy understands that remedial this was the choice to get you remedial magic so that when you inevitably piss off the elves you can fuck them up.
>>
>>3566282
True, but it's less thematic, and we have LVL0 Divine Magic.
>>
>>3566308
Can't we like, just catch snow pixis, and force breed them into hulking snow cannons?
>>
>>3566034
> The Iron warrior
>>
>>3566034

>>3566064
>>3566162
>>3566189
>>3566251
>>3566282
I Would like to ask if you're ABSOLUTELY SURE. Although almost all of the other things in Character Creation with little to no resistance, such as letting warfare fall by the wayside. If you try to change this, however, there will be MASSIVE BACKLASH FROM THE POPULACE. what you will actually gain out of this is:

>A free level in both training and metallurgy.
>A few powerful clerics with NO MAGIC, but AOE debuffs and very good combat and item creation capabilities, as well as many VERY MINOR clerics. No in-between.
>Durable and Dangerous Melee Summons (Takes time but is usually worth it).
>This promotes a culture that makes the dwarves have some respect more than usual

Are you sure you want this? Because you are going into this with barely ANY MAGIC AT ALL while right next to the dwarves, the elves, and the orcs and humans. Mostly the orcs and humans. There is no right or wrong choice, and you would get this message no matter what choice you made, but this might be your last chance to shore up some aspects in which your nation is severely lacking.

>Are you sure?
Y/N
>>
>>3566392
We are the men of the north, magic are for heretics.
We shall force breed magical pixis.

>Y
>>
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>>3566392
>A free level in both training and metallurgy.
>free level, training and metallurgy.
>Training and metallurgy.
Yes.
We just need to spec anti-magic enchantments, making fighting us a slog. Undead, constructs, summons, then exceptionally well trained troops with exceptionally well made tools. This is my kind of min-maxed build!
>>
>>3566399
You... you can't do that.
>>
>>3566400
They're really not all that well armed. While you were napping things kind of... regressed... just a bit for the country. JUST A LITTLE BIT.
>>
>>3566399
>>3566401
We probably could, but I don't think our character would want to.
>>3566402
How much is just a little bit?
>>
>>3566401
Watch me.
>>
>>3566405
The average blacksmith can't make steel, when before even random shit like nails were. Iron is still high quality though. And that's if you choose this religion
>>
>>3566410
They... they just appear out of the colder parts of the realm of Fae. Unless you want some faerie monarchy cursing (literally) you to next week, that ain't happening
>>
>>3566415
B-BUT HULKING MASS OF SNOWCANNONS, TIME IS NOTHING GLORY IS FOREVER
>>
>>3566415
>>3566417
Jokes and so on. I just found the idea funny. Fat small things with wings that spew out snow.
>>
>>3566405
However, lets breed glaciers. For protection and freshwater supply

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19726412-000-how-to-grow-a-glacier/

>>3566415
>>
>>3566420
You should have gone with the Ice Queen, then.
>>
>>3566421
It's not magic?
>>
>>3566422
May as well be to me, as I am not subscribing to a random website to read the entirety of a single article. In any case, your people get more than enough water.
>>
>>3566392

>>3566399
>>3566400
You were (and still are of course) part of the Iron Faith. The Faith being such good friends inducted you as a Man of Iron, the highest of ranks short of a literal prophet. You were now the Preist King of Arcturia.

*CLANG*

HOLY SHIT THE DOOR'S OPEN

And I spy...

>A classical adventuring party.

>What appears to be a group of men, ones with picks and wrapped in chains.

>Some surprisingly bookish types to have cleared the rubble beyond the gate.
>>
>>3566423
Incase you want to know more with out the sub.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glacier_growing
>Ted talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlppif9IJzI
>>
>>3566424
>What appears...
>>
>>3566425
Thank you, but please post your vote here
>>3566424
>>
>>3566424
>What appears to be a group of men, ones with picks and wrapped in chains.
>>
>>3566424
>Classic adventure party

Is that James Faaleen? I thought I had him executed years ago, no good piffed up archer!
>>
>>3566426
Can you post a proper vote, please?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>3566424

>>3566429
>>3566431
>A classical adventuring party. - 1

>What appears to be a group of men, ones with picks and wrapped in chains. - 2
>>
>>3566424

>>3566426
>>3566429
>>3566431

>>3566448
It's an adventuring party, and one with a rather familiar face. You're fairly sure that one of them, the ranger looking fellow, is James Faaleen! Or You would be sure if you hadn't put that bastard to death over 50 years ago!

"So Jim," says one, a fellow looking a warrior of the faith "This is where your granddad said the treasure is right?"

"Yes of course!" said the fellow who so reminded you of James

A relative of James it seems that he is

A fellow you didn't see before now says "I see... something over there." he says pointing at you across the now misty throneroom.
"Mary, get rid of the mist."

A thin wisp of a girl in robes and a pointed hat holding a staff nods and waves her staff, making the mist rush out of the room.

"UNDEAD!" says the Paladin

Uh, shit.

>"Calm down you piece of shit! That's no way to talk to your fucking king!"
>Leg it for the armory proper, there's some cool shit in there and you may as well kill them properly.
>Fucking brain them with the scepter (or pull out the sword in the bottom, makes not much difference.)
>>
>>3566463
>Also, if you choose to fight them, you can take them alive if you want, just specify.
>>
>>3566463
>"Ah! A hyped up fuckwit that expects everything to conform to his narrow world views!"
>"Calm down you piece of shit! That's no way to talk to your fucking king!"
>>
Goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight.
>>
>>3566489
Support
Cranky old man mode: Engaged

>>3566522
Quest looks promising QM, i wish you luck
>>
>>3566463
FAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! YOU TRAITORIOUS BASTARD, WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY WINE!

GREAT GRAND NEPHEW, FIND OUT WHERE HE HID MY WINE!

>Supporting this >>3566489
with maybe a demand that they go outside and come back in as befitting a paladin and their entourage in the presence of a noble.
>>
>>3566489
Add on this
>"Ah, now I remember why I had your grandfather executed, the bastard stole from the treasury!"
>>
>>3566636
That seems a bit too much like an actual crime, rather than the "old cranky magic maniac" that I was going for
>>
>>3566489
fucking support
>>
>>3566699
>Implying we can do magic after character creation.
>>
>>3567283
>Implying my good for nothing Great grand nephew can do the same shit I can.

I TELL YOU, BACK IN MY DAY, EVERY TWO COPPER SERVANT COULD SUMMON AN ELDER DRAGON! NOW WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE, YOU DAFT GIT!
>>
>>3567288
I MADE SOME DEALS WITH THE IRON FAITH BECAUSE ALL THE NOBLES GOT UPPITY! ALL OF THEM!
>>
AND LOOK NOW, THE FAITH IS GOING TO TURN US INTO CHICKENS! YOU ARE A WORTHLESS GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDSON!
>>
>>3567296
OH THE IRON FAITH HUH, SO THE ICE QUEEN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?

WHY IF I WAS STILL COMFORTABLE IN MY GRAVE, I WOULD BE SPINNING!
>>
>>3567307
THE ICE QUEEN HAS NOTHIN AGAINST IRON BOI! IRON IS OUR FAMILY'S BLOOD! ICE IS FOR SISIES!
>>
>>3567342
SHUT UP GREAT GREAT GREAT GRAND DAD! YOUR IRON SERVES YOU SO WELL NOW DOESN'T IT?!

WELL GUESS WHAT, WHILE YOU WERE FUCKING A MAGICLESS AND GRUBBY HANDED FOOL AND HIS HAPHAZARD HOMMONCULI, I WAS PROVING MY WORTH TO A GODDESS AND WAS RICHLY REWARDED. SO YOU CAN SHUT UP ABOUT BEING A SISSY, SISSY!
>>
>>3566463

>>3566489
>>3566596
>>3566608
>>3566636
"Ah! A hyped up fuckwit that expects everything to conform to his narrow world views!"

"Wha-!?"

"Calm down you piece of shit! That's no way to talk to your fucking king!"

He seems to be extremely surprised that I can talk, especially so eloquently.

"AND YOU!" I say turning on the spot to point at the ranger "Now I remember why I had your grandfather executed, the bastard stole from the treasury! AND THE WINE CELLAR!"

He seems terrified of Me and my glorious ghostly form.

"FOUL TRICKSTER, I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR LIES, JIM'S GRANDDAD WAS A GOOD MAN!" He says roaring and leaping at you.

"SMITE!"

*dink*

The thing is Great Grand Uncle, that the rank of Man of Iron is quite literal, Which means that I'm a hunk of iron that has hits pass through it 3/4 times a blow actually lands for the sake of durability. I'M UNKILLABLE OLD MAN!

The paladin seems shocked and horrified that his smite didn't affect you and that his blade bounced off something it should have gone straight through, so horrified that he hasn't drawn back for another strike.

Everyone else seems equally horrified

I'm going to...

>Unleash my full power for just a second, show them who they're dealing with.
>Take his sword and break it in my hand
>Give him a good thumping
>>
>>3567367
>Take his sword, bend it so the tip is touching the hilt, put the paladin across my lap and spank him a good few times, before tossing him back down.

Tell them to GET OUT and TRY AGAIN after they have CONSIDERED THE WRONG THINGS THAT THEY HAVE DONE!

Kids these days....
>>
>Give him a good thumping

GIVE THAT BOY A THUMPING AND SEND HIM BACK TO HIS WHORE OF A MOTHER
>>
>>3567367
>Take his sword and break it in my hand
>you call this a sword I need to use more effort to snap a twing the break this worthless thing.
>>
>>3567400
I meant twig not twing
>>
>>3567367

>>3567383
>>3567385
>>3567400
I am going to need a roll for this. An easy roll, but you still need to roll.
>>
>>3567356
WITNESS THE POWER OF IRON YOU ICE BASTARD! HIS BLOOD WAS BLESSED WITH THE IRON PROVIDED BY MY WIFE YOU SO WILLINGLY MOCKED!
>>
>>3567367
>Take his sword and spank him over our knee with it's flat.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>3567431
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>3567431
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>3567431
Beat it sonny

>>3567432
OH, I MOCK IT ALRIGHT BECAUSE MY IRON IS STILL TALKED ABOUT IN THE FAINT WHISPERS OF THE TAVERNS AND BROTHELS AS THE WOMAN BREAKER!

BUT YOU WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOUR ENEMIES YOUR IRON WOULDN'T YOU?!
>>
>>3567445
nice
>>
>>3567451
SO YOU'RE THE BASTARD! HA, I MADE SURE THEM ICE BITCHES OF YOU'RES GOT MY IRON BEFORE THEIR HEADS WERE CHOPPED OFF!
>>
>>3567568
OH YEAH, SAY THAT WHEN YOUR PRECIOUS IRON BOY TOUCHER'S GOT ENCASED IN A FUCKING GLACIER.

KINGDOM ENDING QUALITY OVER FROGSPAWN QUANTITY YOU OLD RUSTED BAT!
>>
>>3567580
DAMN FROSTY THE SNOW SISSY!
>>
>>3567589
DAMNED RUSTY THE LIMP IRON!
>>
>>3567593
>>3567589
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GREAT GANGLING FUCK MONKEYS!
>>
>>3567431

>>3567441
>>3567445
>>3567451
I break his word. more specifically, I snap it in half with 2 fingers and my thumb.

He seems somehow more horrified.

>Now that he has been disarmed, what do I say? To him and his friends of course.
>>
>>3567641
TELL HIM TO GET THE FUCK OUT, AND COME BACK IN WITH SOME MANNERS, AND THREATEN TO-....ahem, and threaten to have him thrown in tan his hide if he doesn't buck up his ideas, young man!

>>3567608
GO FUCK YOURSELF GRAND DAD'S GRANDDAD.
>>
>>3567641
WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY KINGDOM
>>
>>3567641
"That was the single shittiest sword I've ever had the displeasure of touching. Now if you want to try this again, leave, and come back in as befitting of meeting the king. Or you can try that again and die."
>>
>>3567710
Remove the "And die"
replace with "And I will box your ears in, you no good jacanape!"

Go with old man theme.
>>
>>3567668
SUCK MY GREAT GOLDEN GHOST DONG YOU FUCKING NUGGET FOR BRAINS

Im really into this old man thing we got going.
>>
>>3567735
They attacked the king, we're already being lenient to account for the situation being weird AF.
>>
>>3567744
Metal man, who broke a sword in his hand, and shrugged off a sword to the fatal parts.

if we box his ears in, he will die from a broken neck. This still keeps the Old man act going.

>>3567741
I'M SORRY, BUT I AM NOT IN IT FOR INCEST LIKE YOU! AND I WON'T BE FIXING WHAT YOUR WIFE RIGHTLY REFUSED YOU, YOU UNSIGHTLY PARASITE!
>>
>>3567755
BAH! CHILDREN NEVER LEARN.
>>
>>3567771
YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD BASTARD NEW MAGIC!
>>
>>3567755
Not just Iron, Ghost Iron because we are a wraith. Basically, it means hitting us is like hitting an iron statue that your weapon will just phase through more often than not.
>>
>>3567786
Be quiet great grand nephew, I am talking to your ancestors about the superiority of the queen of ice to this shitty iron malarky
>>
>>3567779
Now now. WHO THE FUCK USES PUSSY MAGIC? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!

FUCK I'M GETTING THIRSTY!
>>
>>3567814
YOU DON'T HAVE A THROAT!

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION IT IS ICE MAGIC, I DON'T NEED ANY MAGICAL HELP TO HAVE WOMEN THROW THEMSELVES AT ME!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>3567641

>>3567668
>>3567693
>>3567710
>>
>>3567849
"That was the single shittiest sword I've ever had the displeasure of touching. Now if you want to try this again, leave, and come back in as befitting of meeting the king."
I say, motioning for them to leave.

The paladin slowly and with indignation leaves, all of the rest of the party scrambling after him once he's out of the door. I see them having a conversation hear some faint yelling.

The rogue (I assume), walks forward and bows smoothly."My liege, I am Magnus, at your service"

>And I am... SHIT I FORGOT MY NAME. I KNOW I TOLD ONE OF YOU SHITS MY NAME SO WHAT IS IT.
>>
>>3567913
YOU ARE HOLARD IRONBLOOD OF THE IRON THRONE, DUMBASS SNOWFLAKE.
>>
>>3567913
YOU ARE HOLARD ICE-BRINGER OF THE NOBLE LINAGE OF COLD-IRON.

HOW CAN YOU FUCK THIS UP?
>>
>>3567939
IT WAS THIS
>>
>>3568002

IT WAS CLEARLY THIS, ITS SO MUCH MORE KINGLY THAN THAT PUSSY SHIT YOU JUST CLAIMED
>>
>>3567939

F>>3567939
>>3568002
>>3568012
>>3568056
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YOU CAN REMEMBER MY GIVEN NAME BUT NOT OUR FAMILY NAME?!?! IT'S OBVIOUSLY NEITHER OF THOSE AND PROBABLY UNRELATED TO RELIGION IN THE SLIGHTEST!
>>
>>3568129
Fucking funnier than hell. We might need a roll for this.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAD TO BRING THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FAMILY IN! YOUR DUMB ASS FATHER JUST HAD TO MARRY THE ICEBRINGERS!
>>
>>3567913
HOW COULD yoU GOD DAMN FORGEt ThE NAME I PErSONALLY NAMED YOU WITH my HONOR?
>>
>>3568129
IT WAS HOLARD
HOLARD BREAKSPEAR
>>
WHY ARE WE ALL SCREAMING!
>>
>>3568161
HABIT!
>>
>>3568161
BECAUSE YOUR ALL DEAF SO I SHOUT SO CAN HEAR ME
>>
>>3568161
BECAUSE WE ARE STUBBORN OLD FOOLS AND WE ALL KNOW IT!
>>
TRY ME TOU FIENDS! I SHALL SEND YOU ALL TO MEET SATAN IN A MINUTE !
>>
>>3568172
THIS FUCKER KNOWS IT!
>>
>>3568159
THIS FUCKER FOUND IT.
>>
>>3568129
>>3568163
Smith, Holard Smith after our ancestor who found the truth of steel, and made the sceptre as it originally was. They were... from a long time ago. Other names were added on from marriage as time went on, for when one wanted to pad out their names and titles.
Unrelated, but did you know there's a book behind this thing? It's pretty torn up though.
>>3568161 >>3568164
Stop pretending to scream, we can't increase volume. I'm talking normally and I'm just as loud.
>>
>>3568177
I DO BECAUSE IM THE ELDEST HERE AT THE MOMENT!
>>
>>3568186
GREATEST GRANDFATHER IS THE OLDEST YOU FOOL!
>>
>>3568183
Dammit Herold, you dare order your elders!
>>
>>3568189
FINE! SECOND ELDEST!
>>
>>3568183
why must you ruin all fun
also your name is WRONG
>>3568189
AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT
>>
>>3568190
Just a request, I wouldn't dream of ordering around anyone from the main family. It's odd that I'm here and his father isn't though.
>>
>>3568198
ARE YOU THE FUCKER THEY NOBLES PUT ON THE THRONE! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE!?
>>
>>3568198
>>3568204
WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?! USURPER!!!!!!
>>
>>3568208
HE SOUNDS SO MILED MANNER! HE MUST BE AN ICE-BRINGER!
>>
>>3568204
>>3568208
Ew, no, I'm as charismatic as a pile of rotting fish in the hot summer sun. Metal craft, not statecraft... and maybe cleaning because dust bothers me deeply. Besides, it's supposed to only be his bloodline in here and I'm his father's cousin.
>>
>>3568223
You do realize its any person who ruled his land. Reason I can make jokes that we got the Ice-Bringers vs. Ironblood.

YOU BASTARD! YOU LIE LIKE THE KANEEVING NOBLES I HAD EXECUTED!
>>
>>3568183
THANK YOU, COUSIN! Thank you.
>>
>>3568223
I'M GETTING MY CLEAVER! ILL BE RIGHT BACK!

> vanishes
>>
>>3568237
YOU CAN'T VANISH, YOU'RE STUCK IN THE CROWN LIKE EVERYBODY BUT ME
>>
>>3568242
WHEN I FOUNDED THIS KINGDOM
PEOPLE DIED
THEY DIDN'T GET STUCK IN CROWNS
>>
>>3568249
TAKE IT UP WITH THAT CUNT GENIE
>>
>>3568251
BY GOD IF I HAD TANGIBLE HANDS I WOULD STRANGLE THAT GENIE
>>
>>3568226
I thought it meant bloodline, which is used for line of succession in most cases, and would probably be easiest to magically trace. Besides, when two families marry together they can still separate themselves like that. Just in case though, time to make Herold 2nd Cousin to the King, more open ended.
Look, I don't know anything about ruling anything. All I did was forge all day, sign anything Jerlud brought by for financing my work, and spend time with my lovely wife until I died.
>>
>>3568256
All ancestors and dead relatives that came before I did count
>>
>>3568242
FOOL! I LIVE IN ANOTHER PART OF THE CROWN!
>>
>>3568256
YOU DIDNT DIE IN BATTLE YOU BASTARD!
you have no right to be here, you are just a coward that DIED IN A COMFY BED!
>>
>>3568256
this is the reason I hate Ice-Bringers...
>>
>>3568261
>>3568255
THE CROWN
THE CROWN
MY CROWN
I MADE IT
I MADE THIS KINGDOM
YOUR ALL JUST SQUATTERS
>>
>>3567913

>>3567939
>>3568002
>>3568012
>>3568056
>>3568159
>>3568183
"I AM HOLARD SMITH, AND THAT SETTLES IT!"

The Rogue jumps"M-My Liege?"

"My apologies, my... internal monologue got a bit caught up. Now, What is the state of my kingdom?"

"...What kingdom?"

>Give him a "Calm" explanation.
>Give him The Rant on the glories of Arcturia and your Greatest Grandfather Arcturius.
>"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT KINGDOM?!!?!!?!?!?"
>>
>>3568275
>"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT KINGDOM?!!?!!?!?!?"
>>
>>3568275
WHY IS THIS EVEN AN OPTION?!!!!!!!!!???

>"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT KINGDOM?!!?!!?!?!?"
>>
>>3568270
>>3568275

MY GREATEST GRANDFATHER, THEY HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR GLORIOUS NAME!

Damn, this entire dialog chain has gone to almost 200 and not even a day has gone by.
>>
>>3568275
how do they not know of Arcturia
how could they forget my mighty army
or the might keep I carved out of the very bones of the earth, the Warrior guiding my arms
I guess we must tell them of Arcturia
>>
>>3568275
>>3568280
>>3568275
This is it the damn commies have taken over
>>
>>3568283
or the time I stole the daughter of the queen of ice and kept in her in my hold for a year and a day before i returned her home
>>
>>3568275
>"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT KINGDOM?!!?!!?!?!?"
They had to have come through ANY OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING NORTH TO GET HERE, RIGHT? HOW COULD THEY NOT KNOW WHAT KINGDOM THEY PASSTHROUGH?
>>
>>3568285
GREATEST GRANDFATER ARCTURIUS, WE BOTH KNOW THAT THAT'S BULLSHIT.
>>
>>3568301
alright fine
but she was enough of a cold bitch to call her that
>>
>>3568275

>>3568278
>>3568280
"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT KINGDOM?!!?!!?!?!? YOU MUST HAVE HAD TO PASSED THROUGH SOME OF THE NORTH TO GET HERE, RIGHT? HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHAT KINGDOM YOU PASS THROUGH?"

"M-M-MY L-L-Liege, there was no k-kingdom. J-Just isolated t-towns and v-villages and c-clans..."

"What year is it."

"716 A.G."

"Put that in terms of AoA."

"AoA?"

Well shit, it's been so long you're probably going to need a historian to figure out how long it's been, and your proud and mighty kingdom has devolved into city-states and independent villages and clans.

>Hire/pressgang the adventuring party into helping me out.
>Ask Magnus to get the mage, she might be able to tell you how long it's actually been been
>Go to the armory and treasury, you need to take stock of my remaining assets.
>>
>>3568377
there comes a time when forging
or reforging a kingdom when the shouting and quarreling must cease. It becomes a time for cold facts and decisive action
let us summon the wizard, and find out how long it had been. From there we can make an educated decision
>>
>>3568377
I smell something foul on this man, Holard. I say we take his mind for ourselves and see if he is telling the truth!

Basically I want to posses him. HIs friends are likely raiding our treasury right now while the Rouge is buttering us up.
>>
>>3568377
>"AND YOU!" I say turning on the spot to point at the ranger "Now I remember why I had your grandfather executed, the bastard stole from the treasury! AND THE WINE CELLAR!"

He seems terrified of Me and my glorious ghostly form.

"FOUL TRICKSTER, I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR LIES, JIM'S GRANDDAD WAS A GOOD MAN!" He says roaring and leaping at you.
???????
DAMMIt I THOUGHT ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW BLOODLINE SINCE WE WERE ALIVE!
>>
>>3568431
It has been a while, Grandson. The world must have forgotten the Empire of the North.

I CANNOT STAND FOR THIS!
>>
>>3568419
Sorry GGGG Grandfather, but I can both see them just inside of the hall, and although I am a Wraith, am unable to pull that off. Too solid. Wraiths are able to pick things up and stuff but are unable to do most of the stereotypical "ghost" things like possession and going through walls. Most nonmagical strikes still pass through my body, however.
>>
>>3568439
>>3567367
>"AND YOU!" I say turning on the spot to point at the ranger "Now I remember why I had your grandfather executed, the bastard stole from the treasury! AND THE WINE CELLAR!"

>He seems terrified of Me and my glorious ghostly form.

>"FOUL TRICKSTER, I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR LIES, JIM'S GRANDDAD WAS A GOOD MAN!" He says roaring and leaping at you.

THEN HOW IN IRON WARRIORS SWEET BALLS THIS PREVIOUS DIALOGUE IS POSSIBLE!
>>
>>3568448
Really, then do as the Eldest says and bring their Caster of Arcane Magic forward.
>>
>>3568377
>Ask Magnus to get the mage, she might be able to tell you how long it's actually been been
>>
>>3568377

>>3568387
>>3568419
>>3568455
"I Summon your mage friend, they may know what year it is"

Magnus leaves to get the caster, "Mary" you believe.

Thankfully, my hearing is better than in life (When you lot stop screeching) and I can hear them as they walk back.

"Mary, he's crazy and insanely powerful but he seems easily manipulable, simple and pleased by praise and fear like other tyrants. Just grovel and you'll be fine."

"I'm not going to Grovel to a WRAITH"

"This is a powerful one, did you see Percy's smite?!?! It did nothing! And then he broke a magical sword in one hand!"

"I'm still not groveling!"

All said in hushed, angry whispers. Which stop as they come within "Earshot"

"Kneel as befits a king." You say.

"No!"

Well, at least she's committed

>Make her Kneel?
>>
>>3568492
Not going to grovel to a wraith eh?
well I respect your spirit
but wraith or not i am still a king
and you WILL kneel
>make he kneel
>>
>>3568492
"Are you sure about that?" Commence overwhelming gravity.
>Make her Kneel
>>
>>3568503
I told you the bastard was playing us. Maybe we should crack a deal with this one, if she kneels to her better. She would love to study our constructs, just like all the ones I executed did.
>>
>>3568524
if they think they can play us then they are fools
>>
>>3568492
Blast her out of our chamber with a powerful gust of wind that also blows off her clothes, but somehow leaves her hat and staff on.
>>
>>3568492
>make her kneel
FUCK YOU
I'M KING
YOU KNEEL
>>
>>3568492

>>3568503
>>3568508
"'I'm not going to Grovel to a WRAITH'. Well, I respect your spirit, but wraith or not I am still a King. And you. Will. Kneel."

In response to my schpiel, she says "You're no King, You're just a mad ghost on a throne!" At this, Magnus looks mortified.

I Activate The Blessing of the Iron Warrior, and she falls to her knees, which looks to GREATLY concern Magnus.

"Are You sure about that? Now, In terms of AoA, what. Year. Is. It."

"My Apologies," she says somewhat strainedly. "If I may access My books?"

"Of Course" You let her up, and she returns soon." It's about 1934 AoA"

HOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY SHITS OF STEEL, IT'S BEEN 1200+ YEARS.

>Hire The Party and go on an Adventure of reunification.
>Dismiss The Party.
>Check the Assets of the Treasury and Armory.
>>
>>3568575
Looks like it is time for a Crusade my fellow fools.

>Hire The Party and go on an Adventure of reunification.
>>
>>3568575
then I have been dead for more than 1200 years
and in my absence my kingdom has crumbled
this will not do, I will rebuild my kingdom
I do not know or care why you came here though I assume loot, but I would advice you stay out of my way in the future
the kingdom of Arcturnia will be reborn
>>
>>3568575
>Hire The Party and go on an Adventure of reunification.
>>
>>3568575

>>3568580
>>3568587
>>3568600
It is Clear. You. Must. Conquer.

"It is clear. I must Reconquer My kingdom."You swivel to look down on them. "And you, as well as your friends, will help me."

"Buh... But Percy needs a sword!" Says Magnus, obviously stalling.

You grin "I can make one. It'll be fun to do, after so long"
>>
>>3568693
"Or he can pick one out. But that would be rude wouldn't it?"

>3d20 please, 1 for materials, 2 for forging, 3 for enchantments.
>>
Rolled 10, 15, 1 = 26 (3d20)

>>3568696
>>
>>3568703
To be fair, I wasn't trained in Enchanting...
>>
>>3568722
Mayhaps a curse
>>
>>3568734
Is it best of 3?
>>
Rolled 14, 17, 10 = 41 (3d20)

>>3568696
>>
Rolled 8, 9, 16 = 33 (3d20)

>>3568696
>>
>>3568737
Not for a critfail
>>
>>3568703
IT APPEARS WE'VE DECIDED TO CURSE THIS INSOLENT PALADIN, SO WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE?
>>
>>3568742
Suppression of magic channeled through the sword. (Technically it could also block a magic attack... but no smiting for him!)
>>
>>3568742
WHY THE FREEZING STORM TITS WOULD THIS BE A QUESTION?

JUST MAKE IT SUNDER OTHER SWORDS THROUGH FREEZING THEM, BUT IN TURN MAKE HIM CONSTANTLY UNCOMFORTABLY COLD, UNLESS WITHIN OUR PRESENCE/OBEYING OUT MANDATE!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>3568742

>>3568746
>>3568747
>>
>>3568747
I honestly like this one
>>
>>3568696

>>3568703
>>3568738
>>3568739
>>3568746
>>3568747
>>3568753
I go to the Hearth, which still has charcoal in the bin somehow, taking both of the pokers and heading to the Forges. Magnus and Mary follow, being very curious as to what in the world I am doing.

What I was doing, was Forging. The Forges of Arcturia were famous and infamous for spouting out magical weapons quickly and on the cheap.

I Smelted the pokers down into a bar in a brazier of elemental fire, making sure to leave it in the coals so as to allow it to become steel. After it was turned into, well steel, I hammer the bar into a sword, and quench it in not just a barrel of oil, but a cauldron of elemental Icewater. I heat and Quench the blade 6 more times, on the 4th carving runes of frost into the blade on the edge (leaving out just a little of the shielding on purpose). On the final quenching, I carve the name 'Icesunderer' in the hilt, and wrap some extra fine and semi-pointed chainmail (known as gripmail) for the grip, all of the leather having rotted in storage.


>Present the sword and an apology to the paladin, as is proper for an apology gift.
>Just toss it to him
>Send Magnus to get him and wait on my throne.
>>
>>3568783
>Send Magnus to get him and wait on my throne.
>>
Goodnight to all.
>>
>>3568783
Just toss it, like it's nothing
>>
>>3568783
>Just toss it to him
Was was nothing, could do it in my sleep.
>>
>>3568783
>Send Magnus to get him and wait on my throne
>Just toss it to him

I am concerned that all of us seemingly could not discern that 1200-odd years have passed... Does anyone recall any bouts of unconsciousness or memory lapses? I simply refuse to believe there was no way for us to not perceive a passing of 1200 BLOODY YEARS.
>>
>>3568963
How would we recall any lapses in memory? They are lapses for a reason. Besides, not much that we can tell about the room we were in, it kinda stopped being maintained a long while ago since SOME CHUCKLE FUCK DECIDED TO MESS WITH A GENINE WITHOUT CHECKING TO SEE IF IT COULD BE TRUSTED!

>>3568783
BAH, Stick it in the ground before out throne and summon that no good paladin in.

And lets get back to see that they haven't been theiveing about our throne room!
>>
>>3568968
I hate to agree with Frost-Bringer right here but throw it in the ground.
>>
>>3568986
Tell that boy to kneel for shoulder tapping. He should be proud to be knighted.
>>
Never trust a lawful stupid!
>>
>>3569009
Nah, Don't knight the fuck wit.

Once they go out and do some good shit, THEN we can knight em for being a good boy.

>>3568986
And I meant "Push it into the ground so it stands upright". Really show how good coldiron is.
>>
>>3569019
Only the worthy have the right to be a knight for our glorious kingdom!
>>
>>3569022
This is correct nephew. Only the worthy.
>>
>>3569019
If you all are wondering where this usurper came from. I was to be crowned but tripped down a flight of stairs and impaled myself on my walking stick.
>>
>>3569024
Didn't die in battle! Coward
>>
>>3569024
Nobody is interested, because as far as ANYONE is concerned, if you die of easily preventable accidental causes AN HOUR OR TWO BEFORE YOUR CORONATION!
then you forfeit all rights to your respectability.

It was a very nice day though, I still remember the feeling of the crown on my brow, ice on my fingers and the sound of laughter as the court jester recited your demise.
>>
>>3568783
>just toss it
it is not our finest work
but he deserves not anything better yet
tossing it while establish our indifference to it and make clear our power
>>
>>3568783
>>Just toss it to him
>>
>>3568783

>>3568794
>>3568900
>>3568953
>>3568963
>>3568968
>>3568986
>>3569031
>>3569032
I'm just going to follow all of your advice and simply stick the sword in the ground before the throne to demonstrate the weapon's superiority to normal steel.

*Chnk*

Well, that's the test done, It's adequate.

"Magnus, get your 'Percy' for his new sword." I say with a smirk "It should be more than sufficient."

Magnus goes to get the sword, while Mary inspects it in an attempt to find out how you just plunged it into the ground with no effort in the slightest, shaking her head in confusion at finding only the enchantment of cold and no enchantment of sharpness or durability. What she doesn't know is that the elemental forging process integrates it with natural magic giving it durability beyond normal constraints. I also realize now that I forgot to sharpen it properly nor pump the bellows(giving it the unnatural speed and ever greater durability and sharpness so characteristic of weapons of the Iron Faith), which he deserves for attempting to attack me.

"What is this?" Says Percy, brought forth to receive his new blade.

"A Sword." I retort "I'm recruiting you and your party to help me regain my kingdom, and a warrior needs a blade."

"Why should I believe you? As far as I know, there hasn't been a kingdom here for... ever I think!"

>"Mary, is there anything on the history of Arcturia?"
>Give him 'The Rant'
>"Is there really no history about Arcturia?"
>>
>>3569178
>There hasn't been a kingdom here.....forever I think

OH REEEEEEEEEEEEALLY? ALRIGHT, OLDEST ONE HERE, RAISE YOUR VOICE, WE ARE GOING TO GIVE THEM THE *COMPLETE* HISTORY OF THE KINGDOM. NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY TAKE!

Squabbling arguments and all. Lets see the shock when they realise how many people are in one head.
>>
>>3569178
>Give him 'The Rant'

>>3569185
This is ranting.
>>
>>3569178
>>Give him 'The Rant'
>>
>>3569220
No, rant sounds so agressive.....

I am talking about "Story time"
>>
>>3569185
alright then
long ago I, Arcturius Smith had a dream
and I mean a literal dream
these lands were the dominion of many petty squabbling petty kingdoms. I was a blacksmith turned mercenary captain and a damn good one too, but then I had the dream. The Iron Warrior spoke to me, and told me that I had been chosen. Not for a blessing, but for a burden. For a noble burden is a greatest gift of all. He taught to me the truth of steel and bid me to forge one great kingdom out of all the small just as you forge a blade out of iron.
and so I did
and I named the kingdom after me and ruled harshly but fairly for a hundred years and a day
and the kingdom endeared until one of my dumb decedents decided that trusting a genie was a great idea and then we all wound up like this
>>
>>3569246
Damn genies!
>>
>>3569246
Some 250....maybe 350? Something like that years before this present holder of the crown and scepter WHO FUCKED EVERYTHING UP BY NOT USING THE RIGHT MAGICAL CREATURE, AND WOKE UP ALL HIS VERY CRANKY RELATIVES! sat on the throne, I was king, by right of blood and the fact a few hours before the corination, SOME idiot, >>3569024 got killed by falling on his own walking stick.
Regardless, A favoured of the Queen of Ice was I, and under my reign, the cold of winter endured for a thousand days and nights, forging my people into a hardy, warrior bunch with cruelty as cold as the winds and hearts as generious as summer!

Under my guidence, a council of 5 was erected, each a ice mage of prodgical power to rule the spirits themselves!

They tried betraying me, And killing them, while easy enough individually, them ganging up on me was enough to weaken me to a state of near death, and so, in a last act of might, I ENCASED MYSELF IN THE FORM OF THE LADY, A MIGHTY ICE GOLIATH AND DID SO SMITE THEM WITH THE BLOOD OF IRON!

and then, I died.
Apparently the ice faith lasted no more than a generation afterwards.
AND THEN I WAS WOKEN UP BY THIS GENIE TRUSTING FOOL!
>>
>>3569246
>>3569257
COME ON, IT WAS EITHER THAT OR THE KINGDOM COLLAPSED WHEN I DIED.
>>
>>3569314
THE KINGDOM COLLAPSED ANYWAY!

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BRING MY CONSORT ALONG TO PASS THE TIME!

AND WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE CHILDREN, OVER A THOUSAND YEARS OUR LINE HAS STOOD, FULL OF HERO'S AND MIGHT, AND YOU WOULD HAVE ENDED IT EVEN WITHOUT A BASTARD TO CLAIM THE THRONE IN A GOOD OLD CIVIL WAR?!!
>>
>>3569320

>>3565572
THE EVENTS AFOREMENTIONED RIGHT HERE! THE ENTIRE REASON I WENT AFTER A GENIE! I HAD MY CROTCH SPIKED BY AN ORC IN COMBAT BEFORE I HAD ANY KIDS.
>>
>>3569322
OH EXCUSES EXCUSES!

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, AT THAT SPECIFIC TIME, I ALREADY FUCKED THE SERVING GIRL, AND THE STABLE GIRL AND THE BUTCHERS GIRL, AND THE KNIGHTS DAUGHTER AND SO I AM TOLD, DURING THAT LAST INSTANCE I FUCKED ANY CHANCE OF BEING SEEN AS A KNIGHT!

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN QUICKER, USE IT OR LOSE IT!
>>
>>3569322
don't listen to >>3569331
you had an entirely valid reason
you just should have checked to make sure it was a safe genie before you used it
>>
>>3569333
DON'T CODDLE THE BOY! I HE SHOULD BE A PROPER COLD-IRON HEIR!

FUCKING, WENCHING, MIGHTY AND A ICE COLD MAN!
NOT SOME ORK-EMASCULATED WRAITH WITH NO HEIR!
>>
>>3569348
I founded this kingdom with the aid of the iron warrior
I don't know where your heresy crept into the bloodline but it isn't welcome
>>
>>3569363
It strode in nearly 1400-1600 years ago, in the great chill where the cold queen asserted her reign over the lands once more.

That, my dear ancestor, is when my embracement of the Ice came in.
>>
>>3569372
YOU SHOULD HAVE KIDNAPPED HER DAUGHTER
THAT GETS HER TO FUCK OFF
>>
>>3569398
SHE IS A GODDESS, WHO I WAS AN ACOLYTE THEN CHAMPION OF! WHY WOULD I DO THAT, YOU DUMB OLD GOAT?

DO YOU SUGGEST I SEND THE METAL MAN AND ALL HIS LITTLE BITCH BOYS OUT OF THE LAND BY STEALING THEIR HAMMERS? NO!

I SIMPLY VALUED MAGIC OVER YOUR DULL MUNDANITY!
>>
>>3569413
YOUR MOTHER WAS A WHORE WITH A FAT ASS
I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY DESCENDANT
>>
>>3569423
AT LEAST I KNEW MY MOTHER AND WAS MORE THAN SOME UPJUMPED SELLSWORD WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR!

I SENT ARMIES FLEEING AT MY MERE APPROACH, I RENDED GREAT SWATHES OF BODIES ON A FIELD OF MEN AND I HAVE STOOD THE TEST OF TIME AS THE MIGHTIEST SORCERER-KING OF THE NORTH!

NOW SHUT UP YOU DILAPIDATED, MORONIC FOUNDING WRAITH THAT NONE WOULD WILLINGLY REMEMBER, OR ADMIRE!
>>
>>3569431
YOU WERE THE ONLY SORCERER KING OF THE NORTH
AND ARMIES ONLY RAN BECAUSE THEY GOT A LOOK AT YOUR FACE
>>
>>3569435
STILL DOING BETTER THAN YOU THEN, AREN'T I!
>>
>>3569439
I FOUNDED THIS KINGDOM
I CREATED STEEL
ALL OF THIS IS MY LEGACY
EVERYTHING YOU EVER HAD I BUILT
>>
>>3569443
AND LOOK WHAT IT GOT YOU, FORGOTTEN BY THE TIME MY GENERATION WAS BORN, GRANDFATHER THE FOUNDER, GRANDFATHER THE IRONBLOOD, GRANDFATHER THE NAMELESS!

I CULTIVATED MY TALENTS, I TEMPERED THE DULL AND PLIABLE LAND IN FIERCE ICE,
I AM REKNOWN AS AN ELITE AMONG ELITES, THE KING WHO DREW THE ATTENTION OF A SOLITARY GODDESS BY HIS SKILLS AND POWER ALONE!

YOU HAD LAIN A FOUNDATION FOR POWER, AND I SURPASSED AND IMPROVED IT ALL ON MY OWN! THAT IS YOUR LEGACY, A KINGDOM THAT FORGOT YOU, AND A KINGDOM I IMPROVED BEYOND YOUR WEAK, IGNOBLE BEGGININGS COULD EVER ALLOW!

I MADE THE IRONBLOODS THE COLD-IRONS!
>>
>>3569178

>>3569185
>>3569220
>>3569222
I'm just going to... I Know! I'm going to put the crown on his head for a minute and let you give him The History

"Hey, Percy. Put this on, and you'll get the histories of Arcturia." I say, tossing him the crown like a frisbee.

I'm still connected to the crown now, so he can hear all of you and I can hear you.

>>6 hours later<<

Welp, You've done it. You've broken him. I shuffled off all of the party to the guest rooms, miraculously still mostly intact. Percy however, has been sitting there on the steps to the throne either dumbfounded or holding his head in his hands mumbling incoherently. I pluck the crown off of his head and replace it upon mine, giving him a shake.

"I believe you..........." He mumbles, barely audible.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I say somewhat mockingly

"I BELIEVE YOU!" He screams, quite loudly and hoarsely. It would have hurt if I still properly had ears.

"Will you serve?"

"Yes, My Liege."

>Check out the armory/treasury? Maybe make some gear? Being a Man of Iron is usually protection enough but it never hurts to be prepared, and taking the scepter is a bit unseemly and impractical, although I need the crown in the vicinity to continue talking to you lot. It might also help as a disguise of sorts, as my ghostly visage can deeply unsettle the average man.
>>
>>3569525
He can't hear us? About time.

>>3569443
Sorry about all that grandad, just a little show for the small ones. Heheheh.

>>3569525
Forge a set of armour, and set a faceplate of metal over our vissage.

Take the moniker the iron king, and the masses will never figure out what we look like under our armour.

Leave room for the crown.
>>
>>3569453
>>3569530
very well
I was going to ask how people could have forgotten my name
WHEN THE KINGDOM IS NAMED AFTER ME
>check out the armoury/treasury
lets find out what we have before we decide what bring
interrogate the mage on what he knows of Arcturia while we walk and search
>>
>>3569544
Sorry Greatest Grandfather, but you see I could not kill all the Frost Queen worshippers. My 2nd Son, born of an Iron Angel gifted to us by the Lord himself, fled with a girl with the surname Ice-Bringer. He sired the heresy before you.

And for Holard, go to the armory and procure the Suit of Heavenly Iron forged by my wife and myself. It was made so no mortal may pierce its hull without blessing.

After that procure the Sword of Trimetal, a weapon made of Iron, Silver, and... Cold Iron. Use it to slay a powerful fiend, let them be Fay or Daemon.
>>
>>3569610
Graaaaaaaanddad!

This isn't heresy, It wasn't like I executed the iron priests, I simply made them less prestigious!
I did good by the realm!
>>
>>3569615
Hmph. Its because of you this damn country went under. At least you made yourself useful and crafted the Trimetal Blade, you are a heretic but at least your heresy will be put to better use now.
>>
>>3569624
What do you mean "went under"!

Stop blaming me for the mistakes of my great great grand nephew, since as I recall, he was the damn fool who was on the throne when we somehow missed 1200 years.

And for the last time granddad, The people were better off with my rule, hell I probably did better by the iron god than most of the people in this linage.
Warriors and smiths abound when hunting and raiding are needed to survive the ice, not to mention the....misfortune of the council of 5 brought the iron faith back into power tidily!
>>
>>3569525

>>3569544
>>3569610
Roll me a 3d20, 1 is for the armory, the second is the treasury, the 3rd is for various artifacts and magical items.
>>
Rolled 8, 10, 17 = 35 (3d20)

>>3569760
>>
>>3569760
Shit! I forgot how to roll. Its finally coming, ghost alzheimer!
>>
Rolled 14, 9, 9 = 32 (3d20)

>>3569760
I sure hope that stuffs still there
>>
>>3569637
dice+3d20
>>
Rolled 15, 11, 7 = 33 (3d20)

>>3569760
>>
Rolled 11, 20, 4 = 35 (3d20)

>>3569760
>>
>>3569784
>>3569797
>>3569802
Ah, mediocre
>>
>>3569804
Just like your Uncle.
>>
>>3569810
Damn you!!
What does the uncle have to do with me and this!
>>
>>3569812
Hes my Grandson if that makes you feel any better.
>>
>>3569804
its to be expected
it has been 1200 years
to matter
the iron warrior is yet with us
we can craft anew
>>
If I may ask, what were some of the artifacts or more common magic items in the treasury? It may help at finding something misplaced.

I'm asking for some help in worldbuilding for that 17 in magical items and artifacts, anything from common use and mass-produced to one of a kind artifacts. If I can't get enough inspiration from you lot I'll just open up the dominions 5 item catalouge
>>
>>3569846
Well you have the Heavenly Iron Armor and Trimetal Sword.
>>
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>>3569846
We have a heavenly keyboard from the future by a timeworping accident caused by the gods.
>>
>>3569846
>dominions 5
(I knew you were my nigga, MA ulm gang)
lets see if I can remember
There was Occam's compass
it always pointed to the fastest way to get to your direction

there was always the sled sheild
it was slippery on the surface so you could slide on it

The philter of Arkonan
it was filled with blood, never ran out
the blood would make plants grow
>>
>>3569856
Yeah, after Character Creation I Immediately thought "This is MA Ulm but reeeally cold and with sacred units."
>>
>>3569895
Oh yeah, remember those schematics for those Soldiers of Iron we were given. Hard to make the guys but they are immune to all magic.
>>
>>3569850
>>3569853
>>3569856
>>3569926

Yes, these are some of our greatest artifacts, (Even if we can't use the last one yet), but what about normal magical items, the type of thing we have more than one of?
>>
>>3569938
Hmm, Rod of Immobility that cannot be moved when activated.

We got a ton of Silver and Cold Iron Weapons since we had that Werewolf problem.

A Wand of Magic Missiles by the Dozen.

Shields of Weapon Rot, for when the Druids get rowdy.

Gauntlets of the Forge, since we were a nation of blacksmith.

And a few Trebuchets in the back from my campaign.
>>
>>3569938
20 bronze statues of ducks
that float in water
>>
>>3569938
A statue of me, and it doesn't rust
>>
And don't forget the numerous Sword of the Iron God! Each one was forged in the blessed forges to pierce magical hides!

Oh, and there's the Maces of Bone Shattering that shatters bones through one's skin much easier.
>>
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>>3569938
Wasn't there that mass produced golem armour somewhere? I know we have ones other than our set... Oh, and that woodcutting tool turned weapon, the one with spinney pointy bits that we could only make enough of for elite units. Those didn't rust yet did they?
>>
>>3569999
Those were experimental prototypes, they were lost in testing. The tool failed in combat due to getting caught on a sleeve and jamming, and the suit was PROHIBITIVELY expensive and ran out of power every few minutes, it's just impractically proportioned as well, I believe I had the man who convinced me to build the thing whipped severely because you could barely move in it anyway.
>>
Remember, the best we can get tech wise is steampunk, not sci-fi
>>
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>>3570016
Like pic related?
>>
>>3570095
That's less pushing it, and more shoving it off a cliff. At higher levels, you can maximize and do a mobile fortress, and you can do exoskeletons, but not bipedal mechs. Octo and hexapedal on the other hand...
>>
>>3570114
hmmm. Great war machines walking our land after we reclaim it sounds intriguing.
>>
>>3569938
well there is the greater steel I created with the help of the iron warrior
you know the black stuff
better and lighter than normal steel
>>
>>3569760

>>3569776
>>3569784
>>3569797
The first things first, I send Percy to get some rest. Secondly, I check out the Armory to check the stocks of weaponry and armor.

The Highest Armory - The Armory of the Iron Faith
>A full 25 sets (excepting your own, 26 if you include that.) of The Armour of Iron Men. Exceedingly durable, highly protective, Too heavy too be worn by a normal man, and forged using the same tempering techniques as for blades.

>650 sets of Armor of the Iron Faith. Very good, but not as good as the above.

>Various Forges for each Man of The Iron Faith to make their own weapons, of which they are entombed alongside.


The Higher Armory - The Armory of the Nobility
>750 ~ Suits of High-quality Full Plate. Not magical, but very fine in any case. (includes)

>3750 ~ War Lances of assorted Northwoods.

>1125 ~ Assorted Knightly Weapons of War

>1125 ~ Northwood Shields

The Middle Armory - The Professional Military Armory
>7500 ~ Chainmail Hauberks, Gauntlets, Greaves, and Full Helms

>4500 ~ Halberds and Poleaxes

>3000 ~ Shields

>1500 ~ Waraxes

>1500 ~ Warhammers

The Lower Armory - The Open Armory
>37500 ~ Awlspears

>37500 ~ Shields

>37500 ~ Iron helmets and Chainmail shirts

The Lowest Armory - All of the "subpar" Weapons, failed experiments, and accidentally cursed items.
>Who fucking knows?

Next up is the treasury.
>>
>>3570355
It doesn't look so bad afterall
>>
>>3570355

Treasury - Where the cash money and artifacts are kept.
>172000 in gold and silver.

>The Blades Of The Iron Warrior (26)

>The Trimetal Sword

>The Armor of Heavenly Iron

>The Philter of Arkonan

>Occam's Compass

>Gauntlets of the Forge (26)

>The Iceicles (17)

>Floating Bronze Ducks (20)

>The Iron Censers (26)


>>Get our Armor and Sword of the Iron Warrior? Also ask if you would like to know what an item is, ask as such.
>>
>>3570415
WTF are these Ducks?
>>
>>3570419
Novelty ducks for testing the purpose of making metal float in the air with enchantment, bronze was the best heavily available metal we could make float.
>>
>>3570419
they were metal ducks for my massive blacksteel bathtub
>>
>>3570437
and before anyone asks
ITS A RELIGIOUS THING
I slept in a blacksteel bed too
thanks to blessing of the iron warrior it was comfy
I wonder where they went off to
>>
>>3570428
Well. At least they aren't Golden.
>>
Again, Would you lot like to get our Sword and Armor of the Men of Iron, or just make something more generic?
>>
>>3570512
Because the good shit looks super generic.
>>
>>3570538
* looks super conspicuous
>>
goodnight to all
>>
>>3570512
Let's wear our good armour. Impose upon all that we are NOT to be fucked with. Conspicuous is good for what we want, I think.
>>
>>3570512
Men of iron, with custom face plate as I said, to hide our features and wear the crown.
>>
>>3570678
Ours is specially made to allow for that.
>>
>>3571096
Don our great armor
>>
>>3570415

>>3570591
>>3570678
I went to the highest of Armories, and found all as it should be. Not a tool out of place, and not a helm tilted. And at the very back, My set of Armor of the Men of Iron, in all of its shining glory. I might be nearly unkillable, but this is more than good enough to help out. It will CERTAINLY draw attention (especially if the Men of Iron are still about, there may still be a few from my reign), but it certainly will hide my face. Donning the armor feels good, especially because I haven't felt it in... well 1200 years, I also grab a Blade of The Iron Warrior as well as a pair of Gauntlets of the Forge. Being a Man of Iron grants increased strength already, but alongside the Gauntlets of the Forge boosts it to somewhat ridiculous levels, I recall seeing a Man of Iron pick up a 2-ton block of stone wearing a pair of these. I also wear one of the wide, sweeping black cloak/robe combinations woven specially to keep wetness and dust off the armor and keep heat in. In any case, inventorying the rest of the armories takes all night and reveals about 3/4ths of everything else is left over. except for the Lowest armory, it's always a massive fucking mess.

I head over to the quarters the party of adventurers is staying in, and slam on the reinforced doorframe, giving them a scare and waking them up.

"BY SOL WHAT IN THE ABYSS IS THAT!" says Percy, upon hearing the thunderous booming, and seeing your now plate and black robe clad visage. By all accounts, the black armor and robes surmounted by the platinum, elemental ice studded Crown of Arcturius would be an intimidating sight.

"It's me!" I say, quite cheerily. "It's time to go, Here's some of your pay!" I continue on, extremely chipper, tossing a bag of 2000GP worth of silver at him.

Everyone else files out, rubbing there now widening eyes and yawning.

"Mary, could you get me a map?" you say, and she does.
It seems that most of the places (and all of the important ones) of back in the day still exist, if diminished somewhat.


>Head South, to Glacier Pass, center of iron mines and the Iron Faith.
>Head East, to Shipbreaker bay, a place of trade and a center of Nobility.
>Head North, to sites of elemental power and Magician's Sanctii.
>Head West, to the rural areas where counts and anarchy reign.
>>
>>3571679
>Head South, to Glacier Pass, center of iron mines and the Iron Faith.
>>
>>3571679
>head south
Let us find the faithful
in time they will follow us as they did in times gone by
>>
>>3571679
>Head South, to Glacier Pass, center of iron mines and the Iron Faith.
>>
>>3571679
>Head South, to Glacier Pass, center of iron mines and the Iron Faith.
>>
>>3571679
fuck yeah!
>>
>>3571679
>>Head South, to Glacier Pass, center of iron mines and the Iron Faith.
>>
>>3571679

>>3571696
>>3571700
>>3571717
>>3571733
>>3571821
Now, do we stop at villages along the way? Or travel "incognito"
>>
>>3571827
What? Why are a giant in a hulk peice of armour. Unless we put on some brown monk robes with a hoodie big enough to cover us or avoid the roads and villages entirely we stick out.

Maybe.... Maybe we can pretend to be a giant suit of Armour for nobility or some rich person as a indoor decoration..... Have the guys rent or buy a cart and roll us around in it, or just cover up in a big bail of hay.
>>
>>3571827
Of course! we must reclaim our lost lands after all!
>>
>>3571834
Hence the quotes. I mean, do we try and actively make our presence known, or make ourselves known for who we are (a claimant to the throne proper) and try to rally support.
>>
>>3571847
* not actively try to make our presence known
>>
>>3571847
Okay, we try to be sneeky breeki.
>>
>>3571847
>>3571868
What have we become?
Just sissiees that try to hide our presence just because we're getting a bit of attention?
>>
>>3571827
We're mostly loud and entirely proud. Let's give the peasants a heads up not to get levied by the current "rulers."
>>
>>3571847
the peasants will remember our kingdom not
there is no point in trying to appeal to them
they will come in time
if they will not they will be made to come
but there is no reason to unduly disturb them unless we want something from them
>>
>>3571891
We can strike a deal with the Villages if nothing else.
>>
>>3571878
Not hiding you dolt, its to have more fun when we give them buttsuprise!
>>
>>3571916
kek
>>
>>3571912
bargain for what?
>>
>>3571936
For having the GREAT honor of serving our glorious kingdom!
>>
>>3571936
For FREE
>>
Well, We've got 2 for 2. Come on you lot, I need advice and you get cranky if I do it myself so come to a consensus.
>>
>>3571827
Fuck incognito, we're going in loud!
>>
>>3571941
>>3571936

This Fool knows why don't you?
>>
>>3571971
Uh huh
>>
>>3571827
Go in blasting horns
>>
>>3571959

>>3571962
>>3571977
We're going loud.
3d20s. 1 is publicity, 2 is the reaction to said publicity, 3 is encounters.
>>
Rolled 7, 13, 2 = 22 (3d20)

>>3572071
>>
Rolled 3, 5, 14 = 22 (3d20)

>>3572071
>>
>>3572074
>>3572077
Our crusade is blessed with twos
>>
One more, please
>>
Rolled 8, 18, 14 = 40 (3d20)

>>3572071
>>
>>3572071

>>3572074
>>3572077
>>3572107
"By the way, We're going south, and we're also totally letting everyone who'll listen know that I'm going to reunify the kingdom"

"Everyone who's tried to unify this area has failed" Mary pipes in "Even the ELVES! They didn't even manage to puppet any of the city-states! Or even towns! And that's what they're good at!"

"I have something they don't. Well, 2 things. Those being a major religious figure and being a Northman. Probably the only type of people they'll accept."

"Wait, religious figure?" says Mary, the sentiment echoed by the rest of the party.

"I am, for all that I know, the last of the Men of Iron, the highest of ranks within the Iron Faith. How the fuck did you think I was just able to take that smite with no reaction and break the sword in one hand? Hurt like a bitch though."

"Well, there's a problem," says Percy

"What problem?"

"I don't know how influential the 'Iron Faith' used to be, but it's now the 'Iron Cult' and only really worshipped by smiths and soldiers."

WELL FUCK! I Know you worshipped the Ice Queen Great Great Granduncle, but I didn't and this is a military and reclamitory shitfest.

"Something called the Black Faith took over, there being isolated cults of the Ice Queen pocketed about," Percy says, interrupts my internal monologue.

"What the FUCK is that?"

"A Religion that is quite literally diametrically opposed to mine, Worshipping a being called the Shade Lord. I don't know the details, but I was told to either convert them or purge them with, and I quote 'The most extreme of prejudice'. They're the whole reason I'm up here, seemed to consider this place a holy site."

>So how do we react to this development. I for one am... annoyed.
>>
>>3572370
Time to punch the lights out of the Shade Lord. The Iron Faith will endure like black steel.
>>
>>3572370
We must have more information. We need to know how the Iron Faith degraded to an Iron cult, how the Black Faith came about and Why The Fuck do they consider our castle a Motherfucking Holy Site for their Motherfucking Religion.

We need to find a priest of this Black Faith and conduct an "interrogation".
>>
>>3572370
We learn. We must first wonder the lands and take note of this new faith. The Paladin, have him stand guard here as he has heard our words, and you will take his place.

First, make our name known in the good will of the Iron God. Next, we raise an army. And lastly, purge the filth from our lands once more!

Also Child, I think these people think you are their god or prophet. That Genie must have done more than just turn you into a Wraith.
>>
>>3572370
........

You are telling me, that the Iron faith has become nothing more than a cult.

You are telling me the faith of the lady of Ice has become nothing more than scattered cabals?

YOU TELL ME SOME FUCK MONGLING COCKSUCKER HAS BROUGHT IN A NEW FAITH TO REPLACE THAT OF MY OWN AND THAT OF MY LINIAGE!!

THIS SHALL NOT STAND! NOW GO FRE-....I forgot that you are as competent with magic as I was with failure.

But, we need to do as my grandson suggests >>3572467 here. Find out why we are a holy site, and then find us some fucking cults and cabals.

They are gonna listen to "genie wishing grant metal bellend" here because of his iron status.

And these cabals, as true worshipers, should listen to me if I quote the grand scriptures and secrets of the old faith!
ITS TIME FOR CRUSADING!
>>
>>3572370
wait whats percy's religion
>>
>>3572602
Presumably that of Sol's, the worship of the sun god. There is some EXTREMELY minor overlap in domains between Sol and The
Iron Warrior so his smite didn't affect me as it should have.
>>
>>3572933
I can see why a god of the shade would hate the lord of the sun
Well I'm in favor of having a son so I suppose that the sun god is fine.
Especially if he gets along with the iron warrior
thats the real sticking point there
>>3572370
I still want to mage to tell me what current people remember of arcturia
and my vote for stealth has changed
if the center of faith is not our faith than this is unacceptable
let us smash this holy site and let the land know that the black faith will be shattered like brittle iron upon the anvil
>>
>>3572370
THIS CALLS FOR A FUCKING CRUSADE!
>>
>>3572951
The holy site is our own capital.

Also, the overlap is so minor it's basically a loophole that just doesn't let us smite each other.
>>
>>3572994
I see
while I do not desire to smash our once and future capital I'm sure we can find that part of it that is holy to these black priests and destroy that which is what I meant
>>
>>3572370

>>3572400
>>3572467
>>3572513
>>3572519
>>3572951
>>3572983

"By the way, the Black Faith is nowhere near as pervasive as you may think." Percy interrupts my internal monologue with. "When I said smiths and soldiers follow it, all of them do. the same goes for the Queen's Faith, but with magicians and some nobility."

And with that, We're off.

And on the way south, we encounter...

>A carriage protected by what seems to be knights.
>Men in black robes, some few armed, and but one properly.
>What seems to be a group of men in chains, being led by those without.

Apologies for the wait. I lost what I was writing and had to redo it
>>
>>3573365
>Men in black robes, some few armed, and but one properly.
>>
>>3573365
>>What seems to be a group of men in chains, being led by those without.

was slavery allowed back when we ruled?
>>
>>3573390
No, not unless you fucked up some shit REALLLL hard.
>>
>>3573365
>>A carriage protected by what seems to be knights.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>3573365

>>3573387
>>3573390
>>3573433
>>
>>3573365

>>3573387
>>3573390
>>3573433
"My liege, Unless you would like to initiate combat, I suggest that you and I hide," said Percy, after

"Why is that?" I respond

"They seem to be priests of, or at least adherents to, the Black Faith. Likely on a pilgrimage to the city you were in."

"That's once and future Capital to you. And the rest of the north actually"

"In any case, we need to hide."

"Why?"

"If I know You l-... You... You're going to end up in a fight that, although we could certainly win, would cause some problems and bring a Manhunt down on us, making your attempt at reunification a nightmare."


>He's right, I won't be able to contain myself, I'll get in the snow pile.
>He's right, I won't be able to contain myself, Purge Them.
>He's wrong, I can be chill and converse without causing catastrophes
>>
>>3573873
>He's right, I won't be able to contain myself, Purge Them.
>>
>>3573873
>He's wrong, I can be chill and converse without causing catastrophes.
If they don't convert though... *Purging Intensifies.gif*
>>
Goodnight.
>>
>>3573873
>>He's wrong, I can be chill and converse without causing catastrophes

but if make us mad then
>Purge Them
>>
>>3573873

>He's wrong, I can be chill and converse without causing catastrophes

DONT LISTEN TO THESE FUCKWITS, BOSS MATE, YOU CAN TALK LIKE A CIVILIZED PERSON. I MEAN WHATS THE HARM IF WE WERE TO SQUICK ONE OF THEM ANYWAY NOT LIKE THEY ARE EXTINCT SPECIES OR SOMETHING, BOSS MATE.
>>
>>3573873
>>He's right, I won't be able to contain myself, I'll get in the snow pile.
>>
>>3573873
>We can converse without causing catastrophies.

ASK THEM WHO GOES FORTH! The shade lord is a peaceful one....pathetic really, But I would see the measure of the lesser mages!
>>
>>3574338
As a side note, Tell percy to hide.

We are a king and likely a source of great reverance for those who follow the evil route of heresy.
Percy, not so
>>
>>3573873
let us hide
if we must purge them let us hide and them ambush them
>>
>>3573873
>>He's wrong, I can be chill and converse without causing catastrophes
We didn't get to be KING by being an socially inept fool.
>>
>>3573873
>>He's right, I won't be able to contain myself, I'll get in the snow pile.
>>
>>3573873
>He's wrong.

Let's inspire these men to abandon their faith with our might.
>>
>>3573873

>>3573931
>>3573945
>>3574119
>>3574214
>>3574277
>>3574338
>>3574340
>>3574388
>>3574534
>>3574667
"Percy, you're wrong. I can do this without killing them, I didn't hold on to my kingdom JUST by killing people."

"Very well, Ser."

And so I stand, waiting in the road for the procession to come.

The armed man stops the procession in front of us, none saying a word.

At a volume barely louder than a whisper that somehow carries over to you, the masked man says "Who are you?"

>Give them all of my titles
>An old king
>A Man of Iron
>A man

< 30-minute vote>
>>
>>3574902
>>A man
>>
>>3574902
>Give them all of my titles
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>3574902

>>3574912
>>3574956
>>
>>3574963
"A man"

"So it would seem" They whisper back. "What do you want?"

Shit, he can't see your face and your voice is muffled and can still tell. Impressive.

>I would like to know about your Religion
>I would like to ask the same of you have asked of me
>Write In
>>
>>3575001
I am new come to these lands and know little of its peoples
Would you be willing to tell me a little of your faith
>>
>>3575001

>>3575102
"We worship The Shade Lord, Guardian of the Deepest Dark, Warden and imprisoner of Sol's Daughter. The Dark protects, it guards, for that is its purpose. Is there anything... specific, you would like to ask about?"
>>
>>3575160
>So do We?
>>
>>3575180
Any asked questions I will answer in real time from the perspective of this guy you're talking to.
>>
>>3575001
How do you intend to worship at the destination of your pilgrimage?

How large is your flock?

How often do you hold services?

How religious is the nobility and the rulers?

What tithes do you demand?

Move on after this.
>>
>>3575374
"Go to the Deeper Darknesses, for there are 2 here whose times have come for consecration."

"Mine? I have none personally, I am simply leading these few to the Deeper Darknesses. Our numbers as a whole are rather large "

"Whenever we reach the next village, my friend."

"Tis few that have enough dedication to be consecrated in even the lesser darknesses, but many put on a good face. I can see through those though."

"None. We have enough materials on our own, no need to take from others. Donations are always welcome, however."
>>
>>3575396
>Man of the cloth, what would you be able to tell me about the "iron cult"?

It is time to ascertain what their position in merit is.
>>
>>3575558
>>3575396
we have pressed enough
let us leave before they grow suspicious
>>
>>3575558
"Good smiths, and better warriors. The more...expansionisti of nobles are part of it as well. They're mighty, but nothing too special. I'd get a run for my money from a more powerful one.
>>
>>3575584
>I see, thank you for your time. May the wind be at your back and the travel safe.
>Leave

What? Don't they still use this as a farewell?
>>
>>3575576
>>3575645
I'm gonna ask for a third agreement on this, because there may still be people with questions.
>>
>>3575655
I can't think of anything to ask.

At least none that wouldn't be too suspicious.
>>
>>3575764
I could tell you if it might be suspicious.
>>
Goodnight.
>>
>>3575584
I only need to ask, if they have heard anything of the covens. Curious as they are.

Maybe suspicious but after that, we can Go.
>>
>>3576578
"Those of The Ice are the farthest north. Some are elsewhere, but only north is it generally prevalent. Elsewise, only magicians practice it."
>>
>>3577306
Let us leave then, Thank them for their use and leave.

Just for shits and giggles, tell them that the Coldiron heir thanks them.
>>
>>3577446
do not tell them that
do not warn them of what is coming for them
the easiest foe is the foe who does not realize he is yours
>>
>>3577496
I thought your kind was the one who relished a challenge?

The romanticized challenge and duel. The seeing of fear of recognition in your foes eyes. Ect ect.
Or is that merely an unfortunate steryotype?
>>
>>3577506
I don't know what you mean by your kind
but when conquering for yourself a kingdom
or reconquering in this case there is no reason to announce you intentions till you have already struck a major blow
let us keep them ignorant for now
the time to reveal ourselves will come in time
>>
>>3577538
I mean "Your kind". The anti-magical, sword swinging, dime a dozen frontline soldiers.

Forgive my desire for some amusement, But great great grandnewphews head is agonizingly boring without my arcane might.
>>
>>3575001
>>3575180

>>3575102
>>3575374
>>3575558
>>3575645
>>3576578
"I see. Thank you for your time. May the wind be at your back and the travel safe." I speak in farewell

"May the Dark Protect." He whispers in return, leading the procession away.

Once they're out of earshot (My earshot) I say, "I Told you so Percy, I Told you so! I can converse!"

"Yes My liege, I was wrong, My liege"

This goes on for some while on the way, passing several villages, until We come upon a town on a river...

>A fishing town of course, with many a fishing boat on the water.
>More a fortress than a town, entrenched in the dirt and kept functioning by the turning of waterwheels.
>>
>>3577596
>More a fortress than a town, entrenched in the dirt and kept functioning by the turning of waterwheels.
>>
>>3577596
>More a fortress

Bit bloody big.
>>
>>3577557
I reject most of those labels
I favored a warhammer not a sword
I was one of kind not dime a dozen
though I would lead from the front in to rally the men under dire straights I preferred to lead tactically not jump mindlessly into the fray
anti magic, I prefer apathetic towards magic
>>
>>3577640
allow me to rephrase in a less distasteful tone.

"One of them"
Iron faith, kings typically being knights of a sort who are stereotyped as a staunch and honorable figure.

One code of honour is no using underhanded tactics, and always facing an enemy head on.
>>
>>3577653
Great Great Granduncle, The saying "All's fair in Love and War" is applied judiciously, and always has been by Warriors of the Iron Faith.
>>
>>3577665
this is why it is steryotype.

I am aware how many 'brave knights' are willing to stay and defend their posts against the onslaught of razor sharp ice and worse.
I am just as aware how many of them ride white horses and save damsels in distress without thoughts of what they would look like in the nude.
>>
>>3577653
I was a pious man
I was a just man and an honorable one
but I didn't win a throne by being those things
I won by being quicker I won by being smarter I won by being inspiring I won by being meaner more ornery cuss than anyone else
it isn't cheating if you don't get caught
>>
Apologies for the early goodnight, but I am leaving town for about a week and won't be able to run.
>>
>>3577879
have a good trip
we will all argue with each other till then
>>
>>3577596
>A fishing town of course, with many a fishing boat on the water.
I would like to go shopping for some fish.
>>
Wake up you old sops. I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS NEVER APPRECIATED THE ICE LADY!
>>
>>3583701
because I already had a god
>>
>>3573390
Indentured Servitude for debts/crime and Thralldom for captive outsiders. Their children however would not inherit their slave status nor debts/crimes. Nobody born of the north is allowed to be a slave and debts nor crime status do not pass on to the next generation.

I had to arrange that because SOMEBODY kept on trying to murder each other over stupid differences and slaughter all innocents children included of the other side as 'heretics'. Not to mention those goddamn banking pricks with their debt collector pets forcing me to establish the Northern Central Bank to put those pricks down. We nearly lost the kingdom to them due to the civil war and massive debts.

>>3583701
When I was born the Civil War of Faiths was raging strong. It was a HUGE pain in the ass to end by the way. Had to beat up whoever wasn't willing to talk things out so it took awhile. Both sides had a royal heir backing them who were fighting for the crown to make things even worse. Yet then I happened so I kicked all their asses and forged peace thereby taking the crown.

By the way according to the moron who made got us stuck here they are mostly in the North STILL after I kicked all their asses so hard they retreated northward! I would of finished the job but fuck its so cold up there that they are nearly unstoppable well that and the Iron dickwads decided to get uppity forcing me to head south to smash them. If it wasn't for me we may very well have ended up a goddamn theocracy instead and lost the crown!

So basically I was busy dealing with religious bullshit for way too long and honestly lost all the taste for it. Personally I always preferred the Shade Lord since he was the ONE fucking god who DIDN'T have their worshipers cause me a shit ton of trouble and nearly destroy the goddamn kingdom in the process.

>>3577665
Wait THAT'S happened to the Knightly code of conduct? What happened to honor...I cannot believe those frozen cunt worshipers are the more honorable ones. Bah fucking magical bullshit honor. I cannot believe I lost that bet. Come on they worship a bloody WOMAN who have no concept of such a thing! Fuck.

>>3577557
HEY YOU BASTARD THOSE ANTI MAGIC SOLDIERS WERE THE BREAD AND BUTTER OF OUR ARMIES.

How the fuck do you think we were able to constantly fight off those magical foes huh? Despite our DISTINCT lack of magic ourselves with which to counter with huh? ANTI MAGIC MOTHERFUCKER! So you little shit better not piss all over our army reforms. Without them it would of been hell to fight off all those invaders with their magics.
>>
>>3583701
I just like warmth, and worked for my whole life to master the forge. Iron in the blood and all that.
>>
>>3589275
>Without them it would have been hell to fight off those invaders with their magics.

You seem to be under the delusion, that just because you have a lack of magic presently, you are incapable of learning.

Anti magic is useful against mages.
Anti magic with magic is simply unfair against anyone.

As for the matter of faith, you did good. Would have been better if you had people willing to listen.

>Honour
Ha.

>>3589343
Fair enough. I won't begrude you not learning the arcane arts. Not may can break the family mould....Even the sproglets I had didn't follow it, but then, they never got the throne.
>>
>>3590220
Code of conduct is important if you wanna keep the men in line and it helps make them more trustworthy too. Guess that died out after I died sometime. Pity it was good era if you ignored all the goddamn fanatics. Of course the code is only meant for other honorable fellows you have to be suicidal to be honorable to those without any. Guess those old orders also died out then. Damn those guys produced many of my best and most trustworthy fighters. No wait I remember now I made some deals with some old necromancers as a backup plan considering I myself was known as the Legendary Necromancer King. Some old death knights might still be around...maybe. Fuck I hope so. Duty does not end with Death and all of that jazz which means the distinct lack of honor is very bad for making more Death Knights. Goddamn did I love them. Ain't nothing better then watching a single Death Knight charge into a group of other knights and begin reaping all their lives.

So the old old orders are probably all died out by now but we might get lucky enough to see if any of the Death Knight and other undead orders are still kicking or not. After all they got undead bastards like dumbass here who kept things going. Some of them might even still have those necrotic relics and magical artifacts I stashed with them. Not a chance in hell I allowed the damned family get their grubby hands on them. Far too few of them have appreciation for magic and fewer still for necromancy.

I agree with you about the disturbing lack of magic users in the family. At best they learn enchanting. Honestly if there were more of them I would never have bothered have hide all my personal goodies and looted shit, but I couldn't trust them with them given their lack of magical prowess. The stuff I used was far too dangerous for those lacking in magic and to be honest I had to hide a LOT of looted artifacts/relics from both sides because things were still quite strained by the time I died. Letting any of them access to the good shit i looted from them might give them ideas. Only a few royal branches ever bothered to get a grip on magic after all. Honestly if the Icebringers weren't such pain in the asses at the time I might have given them some of stuff to keep a hold of. They were after all the major royal family that actually favored magic, but their close relations with the Ice Queen made me change my mind. Well that and the royal heir was fighting for the crown was one of them, I sorta killed the guy. Same with the Ironblood one.

As for anti magic and magic users working together. My own forces were made up of anti magic soldiers reinforced by undead and mostly necromancers. Sadly my attempts to make this standard for the army failed. Funnily enough my wife's work with the steam technology stuck around. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed. She was quite the genius.

>>3589343
Pity. If you knew more magic you would of been able to craft powerful artifacts like me.
>>
>>3591652
you think I did not craft artifacts
the iron warrior whispered into my ear such secrets
the things I crafted when I was young and the kingdom yet freshly born
>>
>>3591956
That kind of enlightenment is unreliable. I learned magic so I could do so without relying upon the gods or anything else for that matter. As a result I could craft the most powerful of artifacts whenever i damned well wanted. Pity that only the magically inclined can truly bring out their greatest power. So I forced to go the other opposite direction completely...things that magic could not effect. It was very interesting experience and best of all thanks to my magical abilities making me especially sensitive to it resulted in unexpectedly great results. The fact that even normal people could safely use them to great effect was a happy accident. I will admit the Iron Warrior is superior in terms of crafting of artifacts that even the most magically ignorant can properly use.
Funnily enough people tended to forget I started out as a magical craftsman and not some great diplomatic badass even when I was still alive. At least they didn't completely forget about how i was more then just mage and could fight well without magic. As those Iron bastards found out the hard way when they dispatched their greatest anti magic warriors to kill me.
By the way thanks for starting such a glorious tradition of allowing such powerful religious institutions that could challenge even royal authority. It very nearly destroyed the kingdom thanks to you lot. Not to mention causing such severe strife within the family. I didn't much enjoy having to slaughter my own kin, but it was either that or allow the kingdom to be destroyed by religious infighting.
>>
>>3592039
it wasn't a problem when you controlled the religion
didn't you read my scrolls on controlling the faith?
>>
>>3593820
Doesn't work if your deemed a heretic and like i said before i was born AFTER the civil war started. It was a long war. I had to break a lot of skulls before they gave up the whole me being a heretic thing. Mostly because they were running out of people who weren't afraid of death. Besides at that time the Ironbloods and the Icebringers were already a thing not to mention the main royal backers of said civil war. By the way the Ironbloods were the ones who took those scrolls on handling the Iron Warrior Religion. I don't know how the Icebringers did it with the Ice Queen Religion exactly but I knew it had to do with making sure there was always a Cleric in their family at anytime.

Anyway by the time I was finished both faiths and both families were left badly crippled in order to completely crush the sentiment. Plus its not like I WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING LET THINGS GET OUT OF HAND LIKE THAT IN THE GODDAMN FIRST PLACE. I was just the poor bastard left fixing things. Anyway it worked didn't it? Stayed a kingdom after all. At least until things fell apart because of moron.
>>
>>3596240
>Ironbloods and Ice bringers

...There was another family? Or are you telling me that my actions created a divide in the family forming two different political factions?
This is most amusing.
>>
>>3596240
I don't understand what happened to my descendants
why where there ice worshipers?
why weren't you head of the church?
its a state chruch
I founded it
did everyone just forget?
>>
>>3597050
I believe, possibly he may have been my brothers son, possibly a bastard.

I know I was the head of the ice worshipers and I know the iron faith held no love for me, as I held no love for them, merely the respect due to an ancestor faith.
Funny to think they went into a civil war over it.
>>
>>3596965
Think of the royal family as a tree. There are different branches that make up said tree and the royal blood is the truck but it branches off. Some branches are more powerful then others. Sometimes they are formed because someone really didn't get along with their family. Maybe they were a bastard. Maybe they were just that badass that they could establish their own family. Maybe their interests differed so greatly that they were forced to separate themselves(cough Icebringers cough). Basically it happens when your bloodline is really old. Its impossible for it to NOT splinter and branch out.

Basically yes the family DID divide itself on different lines and religion was a huge issue. The churches wanted more power and the royal heirs wanted the throne. It was QUITE the mess.

>>3597050
Ice worshipers hailed from the Far North. Where they were forced to rely upon ice magic and frozen deities to not freeze to death. As a result unlike the own Iron Warrior faith to the south they became quite fond of magic.

Due to me 'rebelling' against the as a heretic to the Church I obviously wasn't allowed to lead it. Not to mention at that time the Ironbloods had mostly entrenched themselves with the Iron Church and used it to leverage their own into position of King whenever possible. This obviously pissed everyone else off and even if an 'outsider' royal took the position. Due to how heavily entrenched they were their influence and power of the church would be a joke.

It was due to this closeness is why I decided that I had to act before the fools gave up the crown entirely and we turned into a theocracy instead. Church and state needs to be separate. Keep in mind that not ALL royal family members get along with the Iron Warrior faith. I certainly didn't due to me being a mage and a necromancer at that. As a result they didn't take too fondly when someone like that would take the throne and try to become the head of their church. They take it as a huge offense.

As a result a mistake was made in allowing royal family members to join the church thereby allowing royal influence even if the current King is not fit to be head of church. What they didn't see coming was how this would blur lines and massively increase the influence of the church. The close joining of church and state was threatening to turn us into a theocracy. Things started to get even more out of hand when other royal members joined differing churches in order to oppose each other. Thus I had to act.

As for getting forgetting. The problem more lies in how things played out. Some royals join church. Other royals need to find different church in order to oppose their rivals in that church. Things at that point began to spiral out of control until I came around and fixed the problem.

Basically a lot of things changed overtime. I might be a mage and not very faithful but at least I kept the kingdom together.
>>
>>3597760
>>3597760
I actually hailed from branch families who dabbled in magic and crafting. I got the Throne because the nobles were worried about the growing power of the Faith and the less fanatical commoners whom grew sick of the war. After that I rallied together the magi who weren't into icy and soldiers who wanted to save the kingdom. It was a long grueling civil war.

Honestly the differences just kept on getting worse and until it finally broke down down into a full civil war after the religions had gathered enough power to 'hijack' some royal heirs for their own purposes. Fucking idiots actually allied with the churches instead of trying to curb their power and influence. It was a miserable time to be alive. Royals killing royals. Nobles killing nobles. Commoners killing commoners. Zealots killing zealots. Family killing family. All due to a disagreements about religion and a royal heir squabble over the throne.
>>
>>3600536
why separate church and state
the church is an extension of the state
the backstory we generated is that the church has always been loyal its the nobility thats been a problem



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