whats the worst time you got shit on by an insect.
When I was balls deep on your moms mouth.
>>1575059Based and stingpilled
>>1575029I was car camping and had just made a thickly stacked BLT sandwich and as I was about to take my first bite, a wasp flew into my armpit and stung me. Bitch made me drop my fucking sandwich!
>>1575029>Be me on holiday, about 4. >Old round haybales are like crack for kids, bombing around climbing up and down having a blast. >At the very end of the pile, I notice a bumble bee climb into the hay. >Curious? Humming sounds.... >Put my hand against the end where it climbed in. >Hand goes right through up to my shoulder.>Feeling of crawling all over my arm. >Abort, abort!>I hit a nest, hundreds of angry bees burst out of caved in nest. >NOT THE BEES IRL>Get stung six times, other kids I was with also get stung multiple time.>Seek refuge in van, close all windows. >Kill all bees that followed inside. >Wait 30 minutes in agony for colony swarm to leave.>Parents arrive WTF? >Didn't yell at us. No point...>Nightmare of that buzzing sound. And yet I'm a amateur bee keeper now.
>>1575114Alternatively. >14 walking out in the woods. >Beautiful day, nothing can ruin this moment.>Set upon be three wasps that just go right in for the kill.>Stung six times, three on the arm and hands. >Three times on the face. >Body of water nearby. >Fuck this. Run and dive. >Wasps fuck off. >Climb out, pissed, in pain, and soaked completely. >Squash squash, as I walk back to camp.>Face swells up like a motherfucking balloon where I got stung, over the eye brow and forehead. >Parents laugh as my siblings call me Quasimodo for the rest of the trip.
>>1575029>be me when I was 12>invite neighbor over>see giant wasp nest hanging from tree branch in our yard>devise plan to knock it down because fuck wasps>find a long enough pole to reach>poke the shit out of it in attempt to knock it off the branch>bees start swarming around the nest>neighbor grabs the pole and spears it right through the nest and pulls it down>the swarm starts coming right at us>we drop our shit and immediately start sprinting towards the house>managed to get out in front of my neighbor while I was running >he trips and falls>the swarm covered his body>never saw or heard from him againWasps are fucked
>>1575134>>1575121>Be 10>be visiting a nature and historic area preserve >just walking around, enjoying the day>yellow jackets swarm us and I get stung in the wrist>later at home my entire arm swells up>mom freaks out and takes me to ER>be 21>helping dad fix some things for our tenants>small insect nest in the sliding door of the patio>Slam the door shut on their nest and crush it>one gets me in my neck>sting area gets about golf ball sized, but there was no further reactionyellow jackets, wasps, hornets whatever the right terminology is for them are the nogs of the insect world. I still have no clue why I didn't have a sever reaction like I did the first time. I remember another time when I was like 6 when something stung/bit me in the back of my head. I dont know what it was though.
>>1575029>be me. 11 year old nerd who is allergic to everything >new girl, QT3.14, moves into neighborhood. her dad runs funerals out of the house.>neither one of us has friends at school so we start to hang out>she is super hypochondriac so I constantly have to calm her down>she has a crush on her poetry teacher, but I know how to play the friendzone.>one day we are in the woods and we see large hornets nest.>I knock it down with rocks to impress her.>nest falls and hornets emerge. >she loses her mood ring while fighting off hornets.>we haul ass to jump in pond. >we bond that day. I get a kiss and we become blood brothers.>to win her over, I go back solo to the spot where she lost her ring.>see hornets nest on ground. give it a kick to assert dominance.>I find the ring and marvel at my cleverness.>I see the wasps start to swarm over what I thought was an empty nest. >the assholes are suddenly all over me. I swing wildly, but my glasses go flying off.>I can't see which way to run because I am totally blind. >stings become too much for my frail body to withstand. there are hundreds of hornets on me at this point.>I feel myself going into anaphylactic shock. I can't breath. >as everything fades to black, I clutch the mood ring tightly in my fist and think of my girl.
>>1575245How ironic, I was thinking of posting the exact same story. Poor Thomas, you never stood a chance.
a couple years ago there was a fuckoff huge dead hornet in my room and I tried to pick it up with my bare hands for some reason and it stung me right in my fucking fingertip, so that was kind of shitty
>>1575029My gutters at my old house had these guards over them to keep leaves out. Problem was the whirleybirds from the maples loved to clog them up, and wasps liked to build nests under them. So every year I would get a handful of stings when I would lift up one of the gutter covers that had wasps under it.I think fire ants suck worse though. They’re some tiny cunts, and if you step on a big mound, you will have hundreds of them on you before you notice the first bite.Luckily no bad jellyfish stings yet since they’re common around here. First time I ever saw a Portuguese Man O’ War, I was poking at it for maybe an hour trying to figure out if it was of this planet. I still think those are alien spawn.
What about bites?>Working in the woodyard>Come home and find a dozen or so bites from an unknown critter>The next day, every bite is surrounded by a six inch circle of red inflamed skin.>Then the sickness starts:>One minute I'm shivering in the 90 degree heat, the next I have to take a cold shower>Utterly weak...general flu-like symptoms>After a few days of this, the neurological symptoms kick in:>Sensitivity to light, trouble balancing>Right as I was thinking about going to the hospital, it gets better.>Sick for 5 or 6 days I think.I still have no idea what got me. This happened in Pennsylvania. I seem to remember each bite having two little marks, implying spiders, but I might be making that up. A lot of spiders carry bacteria...their bites aren't normally serious unless they happen to be infected.
>>1575029Friend of mine in high school got a tick latched onto the underside of his dick. He lived in buttfuck nowhere and liked to take walks through the woods, idk if he took a piss in he wrong spot or fell asleep, but it was nasty af and hurt like hell.
>>1575500Sounds like spiders. I have a true horror story with them. >be about a decade ago, kayaking with Dad and younger brother>brother and dad have double kayak>can't figure out how to keep it straight>zig-zagging all the way down river>chill out and wait for them while playing with foliage on top of water (they look like hundreds of tiny lilypads)>notice they're moving>oh god plants don't move>literally thousands of translucent to brown river spiders all over lilypads>panic and immediately roll kayak to get away>several hours later, ~60 spider bites on my legs appear>sick with flu like symptoms for the rest of the weekFuck the Santa Fe river in Florida. Place is a goddamn nightmare.
>>1575245>>1575254I feel like I am missing something here
>>1576972I feel so as well. Could someone kindly tell me what they are talking about?
>>1576972>>1577029It's from that old movie My Girl with Macaulay Culkin.
>>1575029Couple weeks ago was mowing the lawn, and unwittingly ran over top of a yellow jacket nest. I was absolutely covered in the fuckers, and was stung several times. Fuck those fuckers.
>>1575245Did you at least get some pussy after all that?
>>1577353Thank you very much, friend!
>>1575029I was in the house and was walking across the living room to have a seat when I stepped on a wasp. It stung me right in the arch of the foot and I dropped like a sack of hammers because it put all its bottled up fury into my foot.
>Been stung a bunch by all kinds of nasties>Have typical insecure pride in how well I take a sting>With friends, about to get on a train>Accidentally elbow onto a wasp hanging on the table>Wasp hate-stings me, I'm like "ouch, bugger">Friends freak out "are you okay, anon etc." I'm fine>Get on train. .>5 mins later get itchy on my wrists and crotch. Feel hot and can't sit still.>5 mins later a black cloud swamps my brain, a feeling of doom permeates every part of me. >I try to grab someone, try to explain that maybe I'm having a reaction, feel faint. >Sweaty and pale as fuck now, look like a smack head, I can see people don't believe me. >Start to faint. >Come to and there's a guy in front of me, says he's a trainee nurse and he'll try to help, asks me some basic questions. >"No, never happened before, no allergies, how far to a hospital?", Lips swelling, itch in throat >"30 minutes, we're trying, do you have an EpiPen?">"No, no allergies" throat starts to close, can't breath. >He lays me down in rescue positon, I'm blacking out. >"I don't want to die">"You're not going to die" even he doesn't believe it. >Wake up in hospital with a nebuliser strapped to me. Head feels like its full of soda water Apparently I was out for about 45 minutes, probably lost a few brain cells. Next day feel the best I've ever felt in my life.
>>1576972Anon is candidly referencing my girl a movie from the early 90s, the protags best friend is allergic and dies from bees stings and ineptitude. I was going to post as well, but they beat me to it.
>>1577520No I died out there.
>>1577690So you do carry an epipen now right?
>>1577729They are free here so I have 4 sets (of two) because I'm forgetful as hell. One in the work/gym bag, one in the bathroom, one in my /out/ bag and one in the BoB.
>>1575029It wasn't a sting, but a centipede bit me on my big toe once. It didn't tickle, to say the least.
Brother told me pikachu was at the bottom of the ant pile. True story
>>1577690>>1577732So what’s the deal, one day you just developed an allergy?
>>1578905Yeah, just came out of nowhere. Been stung a bunch before.
>>1575114>>1575121>>1575212>>1575245i cant believe fucking nobody knows what a swarm is...
>>1575029Cicada killer. Top of my foot.Basically felt like a yellow hot welding rod with a fat fuck curb stomping on it for 4 hours
>>1575029mowing a field in west texas and ran over a ground wasp nest. fucker got under my shirt and stung me 11 times.
>>1579786oh and I was bitten by a black widow hiding in a 'nelly stevens' holly. hurt like hell for two days, but it was kind of erotic in a wierd masochistic way. I liked the pain and I to this day cannot understand why. I think it has something to do with blackarachnia from beast wars.