Anyone got any stories hot stories/sexy encounters from when you went out camping or hiking?I'll start with something just to get the ball rolling >Autistic 17 year old me goes on camping trip with parents>Some friends of parents decide they wanna join too>Decide on spot and location and basically meet there >Other parents have smoking hot 19 yo daughter >We arrive at established camping site, start unpacking>She often smiles when talking to me. Don't know if signal or not cause too autistic>My parents had a tent for 3 of us while she had her own, separate from her parents >Anon why don't you help Anonette with unpacking and setting up her tent and prepare setting up a fireplace>All 4 of them leave the campsite under the pretext of looking for firewood when in reality they just wanted to catch up with the good ol' times without us probably hearing it>Whatever>Finish with her tent because it's easy pull up mechanism that sets up easy and just have to knock a couple of rods to keep it in place>It's done, both of us decide to get in and get her stuff inside>All alone inside the tent after a couple of minutes of silence she goes>"So, Anon, what do you want to do know?" She says with a bright big smile on her face >Still too autistic to read female signals>"Well umm.. i have to dig a hole and look for rocks to set up the fire site" >"Oh... alright then.."Parents came back with the "firewood" (it was just some sticks and it wasn't enough so i decide to go and find them myself)The rest of the trip she just felt bored and didn't smile to me as she did the first time we saw each other. Didn't even say goodby when our families parted ways.>Years later pass by and realize i missed a chance Oh well. Still lost my virginity in a tent a couple of years later tho.
>be me>20 y/o>hike a mile innawoods to an old dam on a stream with two boomers>be me fishing shirtless in hipwaders>canoeing group of a half dozen chicks show up>they chat me up, are drinking and decide to make camp>imagesofsexsandwichdancinginmyhead.gif>boomers wanna go home>we leave
>>1551249Man that sucks. Should have just ditched the boomers and go down the stream with the girls. Who were the boomers even ?
>>1551284Just a few lads I went to high school with
>>1551241what is she reaching towards?
>>1551315she dropped her contact lenses
>be me 5 or 6 years ago>ripped af because i just got out of the marines>buddy takes me camping with some of his friends>we hike in and it's a communal campground>some japanese people are there and a couple of boomer couples and some hillbilly couple>straight up average jap with generic jet black bangs hair and huge 80's nerd glasses comes over to talk to me>she's shy as hell >tfw mesmerized by her averageness and slightly crooked teeth>i give her an MRE because i'm a gentleman>we talk about my mother fuckin nature and baseball and other shit>we talk a long time, it's dark now>we go to our tents and sleep>wake up next day and we start talking again>have to go get water from a stream, she comes with>we sit by the stream talking, she puts her head on my shoulder>we go back to camp and i she gives me her number but i'm autistic and never texted her>tfw i want to die every fucking day since
>>1551241How is this a sexy story if you fucking blew itThis might be one of the worst threads in weeks, you all are insufferable
>>1551328You don't know what sexy means. Hint: It's not related to actual sexual intercourse.
>>1551315Them Instagram likes, obviously.
Stop being a cumbrain. Sexual excesses are a consequence of civilization. Fantasy is unhealthy. Mating opportunities were very limited in the tribal days, as population was very sparse, density lower than the Alaskan Bush of today. At best, a man would have had ~20 potential mates, and barring conflict, those were further limited because monogamy was the norm once lose organization began otherwise the grugs would have beaten one another up. Winter time forced the organ in a sort of hibernation. Sexual activity is a product of habit. It is draining and consuming and unless your intent is to attract a mate. Stop watching porn.Stop habitual masturbation (stop completely if you can).Stop hookups. Only have sex if you want to start a family.You CAN heal your mind.
>>1551241I was trying to take a shortcut through a field once and this horse pushed me over with it's face and then bit me several times on the chest and back. I've never felt more erotically charged.
>>1551241>>1551326Yea that shit wont changeYou just got to find a girl who is more aggressive, and doesnt code shit.
>>1551328>This might be one of the worst threads in weeksThis is actually a disguised feels thread, all the stories so far are about missed opportunities>>1551241>>1551249>>1551326If you wanted an outdoor sex thread here >>1547742
>>1551315the perfect cairn rock
montana reporting in. we know our bois. yihaa.
>Go walking in the woods>Trail leads through a tight space between 2 rocks>Try to get through hole>Penis starts rubbing on one of the rocks>Get erection
>get to know QT >make a date to go canoeing>think maybe I'll make my move>pick her up>on the way to the lake, tells me she got raped the previous weekend>go ahead with the date >awkward as anything>didn't ask her out again
>>1551355maybe she just didn't want to have sex with you and she made up some bullshit story in advance so you'd take your mind off it
>>1551333Go away you nutless loser.
>>1551355>>1551326>>1551249>>1551241>/out/ romantic failures threadI-is this why we go outdoors alone?
>>1551350Now we're talking
>>1551340But those girls are boring
>be camping with hippy-ish female friend in Catskills>my mother recently passed away and she invited me out to make me feel better>end of the day and setting up fire>”anon do you want to try shrooms with me?”>hesitate at first but eventually say yes>sitting in tent with her tripping hard>fire makes tent look and feel like the inside of a womb>comfiest I’ve ever been in my life>start getting warm and we both get naked>have mindblowing sex>fall asleep in each other’s arms>wake up next morning and think I’ve had a dream>she’s still there cuddled against me>two years later we’re married
Okay gna bring it home for the bois. >go kayaking 8 miles with side chick I'm banging>plenty of sandbars for booze breaks >start making out>suggest we do it woof style>we do it right there on the riverside >pull out and cum on her assDidnt bring my fishing gear but the fish stank on my dick brang a smile to my face.
>>1551580>brangAnd this is why you should focus on learning things instead of doing stupid shit like this.
>be me a couple years ago>parents got me a cruise ticket for christmas>spent a lot of time reading in room, more into outdoors stuff and the party atmosphere they tried to create there for the teenagers on board seemed kinda retarded>eventually meet the 2 girls in the cabin next to me, they're the same age and decently attractive>we often communicate by knocking on the thin wall between the rooms, its kinda fun and sometimes we hang out>on new years I ditched them to watch a movie alone, around 11pm they ask if I want to see the underwear they bought from the cruise ship mall>"wth, why would I want to see that? I'm watching 7 psychopaths">they get upset and start straight up ignoring me for the rest of the trip, only later did I really figure out that it could have been a decent night if I took them up on their offer>feels bad to this day
>>1551589the worst part was I thought I heard occasional knocks some days for the rest of the trip, and sometimes I would knock back, but it was usually just them having crazy threesomes with semi attractive dudes they met at the sports complex.
>>1551333Having sex in the wilderness is better than porn
>>1551340Untrue, I've learned to be far more effectiev at picking up cues and be more forward in general. Has worked every time I've tried so far.>>1551450That's cute as a mf. >>1551591lmao i swear this board is more aspie than /r9k/ only more high-functioning>>1551241 >be me >hiking a ~5 day leg of a two week trail >meet blonde American girl 2 days in >p cute but vegan so skinny and no tits >she's kinda cool tho, has done a lot of hiking so while I usually overtake the boomers and zoomers on the trail and never see them again she routinely comes into the huts about two or three hours after me by the end of the day >get to know eachother pretty well after doing this for two days >nobody is at hut when I arrive and by the time shes gets there we still alone >gorgeous location, but has small verandah looking out over grassy valley, catching the sunset >both sit out on deck drinking tea shooting shit, she's sitting right up against me >have been getting good signals going back the last few days so put arm around her waist and pull her in >she cool with it and snuggles in we keep talking but as it gets late she says shes getting cold >tell her to come here and pull her so shes sitting in front of me with her back leaning onto my chest with my arms around her >she starts getting super flirty, playing with my hands, rubbing my legs and then starts nuzzling back up into my neck but playing it off as cutesy >start kissing on her neck and eventually rubbing her through her yoga shorts >gets super heavy >I want to fuck out here in the sunset but shes worried that we'll get caught so we go inside >next day there are people at hut so she sucks me off in the bushgives me her number when we finish the trail but i never called she was a good root but like I said was a vegan and polyamorist and into all that raising kids to be pacifist vegan shit so i didn't see the point, which is a shame because she was real cool apart from that
>>1551613>gets head from vegan thot, then ghostsMeatpilled and based
>>1551613did she swallow??? itd be super ironic if a vegan ate cum
>>1551768Funnily enough I thought the same thing so I didn't tell her I was cumming til i was already shooting down her throat. She didn't seem to mind tho.I tried redpilling her on how hunting and killing animals is actually good for our environment because it means the introduced species dont run rampant and fuck the whole ecosystem
>>1551241>Be me>Solo camping in Boomer tier NP campground>Be setting up tent and starting fire>A van pulls up to campsite next to me>All these girls get out (about 10 of them)>They're all college age freakishly tall and blonde (like all above 6'3)>Speaking weird european language and laughing a lot>They have absolutely no idea how to set up their tents or even get a fire going> After about 20 min of struggling they're visibility frustrated> They see my comfy fire and cozy tent while I'm cooking over my wood fire> One of the girls comes over to my campsite>She's a thicc cutie3.14>Big smile on her face but she seems confident> "Hallo, we are first time camping here in America, we see ju have fire and tent, can yu halp us do same for us? We wud really appreciate ">All her friends are giggling and staring at what's happening> I look at her standing there and smile back, "Sure, no problem">We introduce ourselves>I get up and instantly realize how tall this girl is (She must have been at least 6'7)>Am Manlet>"Oh Anon, ju are so smoll">All her friends giggle>Me not sure what to say "uh, uh yeah I guess so, you guys are all super tall though">"Aw, Yas Anon, we are swedish volleyball team hehe this is why we are best in world">help them start a solid fire and set up their tents>"Ohh thank ju so much anon, we cook food for you as thank you">"We also bring vodka, ju like?">sure>They make me a meal and then give me some lit swedish vokda>They're all very nice and super friendly>They're celebrating some championship win so they're playing some shot game>I'm usually not a drinker but decide to join because they've been very nice>About 4 shots in, it hits me and I feel pretty lit>Meanwhile they're all pretty sober (must have been Dem swedish heavyweight livers and the fact they're all huge)>They're all giggling 'Oh anon, are ju getting drunk already, hehe we are just starting, ju have to get to at least shot number 7 for gud lawk"
>>1551284i fuckin drove them there
(cont.)>Down three more shots to not seem like a lightweight bitch>Absolutely hammered by the 7th shot>They're enjoying this and also like my American accent so they're getting me to talk and asking me a lot of questions>Some of them are tipsy too but not blasted like I am>"Ohh Anon, do you drink?">"Not really">They're all giggling at my drunkenness and genuinely enjoying themselves>The 6'7 cutie sits next to me and says "hey anon, I think ju are very cute boy and Ive never been with an American">I am pretty drunk at this point so I just start laughing and tell her she is very pretty too>She puts her hand on my thigh and whisper's in my ear "hey anon, why don't we go to my tent">Okay.jpg>I try to get up but bust my ass cause I'm hammered>All her friends are giggling and probably enjoying the spectacle of a drunk burger> She literally picks me up with both arms and carries my Manlet ass to her tent and then zips the door> She takes off my shirt and we start kissing> She grabs me and takes my pants off> I tell her "wait I don't have a condom and I don't think this is a good idea">She laughs, picks me up again and throws me down onto the sleeping pad and then sits on top of me>At this point is where my memory starts getting foggy but she starts trying to take my boxers off> Since I'm drunk I have a hard time getting it up so she she starts giving me a blowie>All a blur after this and I literally can't remember what happened but I woke up the next day with a sore pelvis in her tent with her giant ass cuddled on top of me>I figure she banged me the shit out of me but I literally can't remember>Also notice there is 2 other girls in the tent>At this point I'm not sure if I should be proud of myself or horrified at what happened just happened to me. >I put on my clothes and sneak out of the tent, pack my shit up and dip>Tfw I might have a couple kids somewhere from getting pinned down in a tent and raw dogged by half a swedish volleyball team
>>1551808>Got snu snu from Swedish amazoniansSounds 10/10 anon too bad you were fucked up and couldn't remember it
>>1551808The whole time I'm reading I'm waiting for the ending:>You'll have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow>The town is back that way!
Out sex is overrated, not nearly as great as I imagined it.But I do love the climatic nights by the lake with stars, crickets, some wine, and a bitch choking on my dick.>>1551241>"So, Anon, what do you want to do know?" She says Women are whores, and us men are often immature at the age when women already have a rich sex life.But on the bright side, men can fuck hot teens at the age where women already turn to ugly saggy meat bags.I hate my young self for being so shy and romantic, mised out a lot of chances.But my later adventures made up for that.>>1551326Yea, being ripped helps a lot but doesnt cure autism. Chill out, bro, plenty of fish in the sea.>>1551340>>1551445Shy girls are the best, It's cool to watch as lust takes over and turns them into whores, than to shy bookworms again, after sex.>>1551333Everything in moderation, anon. Hedonism is literally the devil, but lets not get carried away like those protestant puritan niggers of christianity.>>1551450>>my mother recently passed away and she invited me out to make me feel betterKek. Sorry. :)>>1551591So you 'missed out' on some sex with some sluts. Dont feel bad. Also, threesomes arent that fun. >>1551613>Untrue, I've learned to be far more effectiev at picking up cues and be more forward in general. Has worked every time I've tried so far.This. Fuck being shy and worying about feelings of the female.>lmao i swear this board is more aspie than /r9k/ only more high-functioningYou visit /r9k/? I dare not even go there. Also, this IS 4chan. Even /fit/ is fucked up. :)>I said was a vegan and polyamorist and into all that raising kids to be pacifist vegan shit You could have tried turning her around. I turned leftist atheist girls into conservative theists before. Women are like clay. Sometimes I think mudslimes arent 100% wrong.>>1551797Fuck off with your dumb made up shit, kid.I'll contribute with two funny sex related storries:
>>1551315Grabs a stone to crash creep OP's head, stalking her innawoods.
Stories:>be me out, million years ago>sit down by abandoned railway in the woods near abandoned factory>nice spot, so I take out my aquarells & start painting, I was into that shit back then.>in the distance I see a guy walking out from the woods>pick up binoculars>it's a skinny, balding old fuck, completly naked except black socks and pic related>he walks around the rails and starts jerking off. He doesnt see me>he faps in the aun like a mad cunt>cums, wipes of a leaf and leaves>cannot_unsee.jpg>all my mood is ruined, decide to start carying big knoif from now on next to my good old swiss Next story>out with my big old dog>god I loved her, she was a good companion, quite old at the time, but still loved hiking with me>decide to rest at the edge of the forest near the dirt road, crops on the other side>an old car stops not so far away>fat 50yo cunt and aome ugly bitch>they dont notice us because grass is tall by the tree where we sit>they start making out>they notice me>dude comes at me, angry>yells that I'm spying on him, demands to see whats inside my bag, "to make sure I don't have a camera" etc. (it was before smartphones age)>I reliase he's having an afair and is afraid of it being discovered>I was snickering at first, but I got super mad at this point>like, literally I see red>I get up and take out my bigg ass knoif>it's pretty useless for /out/, shitty steel, but looks scary, has brass knucles (plastic) and pseudo-saw and is pretty big. I was carying it ever since that adventure with old balding masturbation enthusiast>who the fuck do you think you are, motherfucker, you want my fucking bag? Come and take it you shit! - I yell some nonsense insults>old fat fuck is bigger than me but I'm taller and super mad, I go at him>he fucks off to his shitty car and his fat ugly lover bitch and drives of leaving dust>I sit back down and realiase what just happened>I would have sliced that asshole>pet my old dog, chillout, and head home
>>1551808mhm really anon
>>1551873>You could have tried turning her around. I turned leftist atheist girls into conservative theists beforeidk anon she was still an Am*rican
>be me>be hiking two friends couple>be kind of a sad because no gf>we encounter a tough path, dangerous, try to stay focus, and try to think about good things in life, like a beautiful ass>we make it to the refuge>start reading the "livre d'or", it's full of couples unshamely stating they had great sex in this refuge (it is a non guarded refuge, free access)>shit it's like it is a conspiracy to make me more frustrated>we sit on the table in front of the refuge, a sheperd comes in and sells us some fine cheese, a nice funny guy>2 cuties arrive, 2 beautiful skinny fit ladies>we eat all together, sheperd leaves>not enough beds in the refuge, have to share it with the 2 cuties>all in the same room, with my friends also>lightstorm comes in in the mountain, pure kino>we get in bed, it is fully dark now>one of the girls starts grabbing my cock, slowly, full stealth mode>hard hard hard>she then slowly sucks my cock, deepthroating me slowly in stealth mode, best thing ever, nerver happened to me before, what the hell is going on >feels blessed by god desu>All night long like that, I gave her orgasm by slowly masturbating her>no penetration>they leave in the morning, I casually take her phone number>i want to see you again it was the best thing ever>the girlfriend of my friend hates me, she must have heard something>good bye, kind sad>we later meet again the sheperd, tells he know i ve had sex with one of the cuties by the way I look likeI've met her again over the year, always love her, too bad she leaves far away from me, now in couple and in love with some other dude. This woman gave me the best sex I've ever had and will ever have.
>>1551241>Be me>Go innawoods with artsy girl I met at a party 1 week before>Originally wanted innawoods to test my new khukuri and took her with me because she asked what i was up to>Be in middle of nowhere and tell her about my new acquisition before whipping out that highly polished that 12 inch blade>She gets visibly scared but I calm her down by making a serial killer joke and giving it to her>Dig fire pit and make a bench>Do some bushcraft stuff, gather shit and flood her with facts about nature>Teach her how to make a feather stick and guide her hand >She suddenly goes for kiss>2 minutes later I fuck her from behind until she starts pissing That was some savage caveman shit
>>1551797same thing happened to me, crazy
>>1551241>in reality they just wanted to catch up with the good ol' times without us probably hearing itNo, you sperg. They wanted to give you and the girl some privacy.
>>1551355she wanted you to rape her. holes don't make any sense
>>1551580Thanks for that heartwarming story, Billy Bob Joel Zeke.
I don't have any. whether I'm out or in, I avoid people, specially women
>>1552021Anytime brosizzle!! If one person gets to live vicariously thru me then all is well:)
>be me>go solo hiking>>out for about 2 hours>come upon 2 bodies>teenage girls, obviously have been raped and murdered>look at my map>realize I have been walking in circles>mfw
>go camping with girl I like>holding spaghetti>campsite set, fire going and pot set for dinner>girl out pissing>screams>she sat in poison ivy>rubbed aloe vera on her pussy>put her to bed>sit by the fire and masturbate and sniff my pussy aloe vera fingerspretty good if I may say so, also fingerbanged the girls littlesister at a party later that summer
>>1551963>>1551808take your dumb fake stories and fuck off back to /r9k/
>>1551241Sara Jean Underwood, so many faps.
Bring your fan fiction back to /b/
>>1552090>"ahh shit, I guess its time for round two"
>>1551580If it smelt like trout, get the fuck out. Good puss shouldn’t smell like fish.
>>1551973fear and horny go hand in hand>>1552094true alpha
>>1552283Breh dgaf puss is puss. Think cavemen didnt have some stank vag?? Stank is 100% /out/ go to another board for your smell elitism.
>>1552316>puss is pussDangerous thinking senpai
>>1552316You misunderstand. Natural b.o. is fine. Sweaty vag is great. But healthy puss should not smell fishy.
>>1551973based and neolithicpilled
>>1551777Nice trips, great story. Frame the post.
>>1551580Did you learn this from your incel big brother who pretends not to be an incel. This isn’t even a decent LARP
>>1551973>behind until she starts pissing>>1552300>>1552440>Fucking raised on porn neets thinking women piss when they orgasm and squirting is real.Fuck off back to /b/, we don't want you shits ruin yet another board.
>>1552502You speak truth
>Go camping with g/f>have sex in tentshit was cash
>>1552497**sigh** brodeh I shared an experience for everyone to enjoy or possibly relate. It's an anonymous board what gain would I get from lying?
>>1552502Squirting is real - it's rather rare though. Women can pee during sex as well.I can provide PDF's of the full text if you are interested.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23634659https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20233286
>>1551777Triple sevens has the right of it, the post-orgasm redpills are really funny, I've done it a few times.
>>1551241BASED STORY INCOMING>be me>go to mountain with 10 female coworkers>only male>enter shelter>leave group of women to take a leak>come back>sudden silence>female coworker says, "DROP THE CARROTS, GIRLS, ANON IS HERE!">female keks everywhere>late at night>tummy is fucking full of air>quietly walk to toilet>every step I take makes an awful lot of noise>reached toilet>proceed to unleash the worst fucking bombshells I have ever heard or created>it's like I'm shitting out the content of a sea-diving container, mixed in with 7 bowls of pure bolognese>the sounds are heinous, a T-rex shitting straight against a lawnmower>it explodes in rapid fire, I feel so self-conscious, I hope everyone is asleep and nobody hears anything, or my social life is dead>this goes on for 10 minutes>shit explosions all over the bowl, and above>this never happened to me, ever>clean up, wipe my ass 50 times>go back to bed feeling guilty and ashamed as though I had murdered a small childPlot twist, almost nothing sexy in my story. Fuck you.
>>1551241Next time, if still shy, just return the question, see what happens.
>Be me virgin, double date with my friend to go desert camping>Girlfriend is also virgin>My friend is a fatass and doesn't want to hike>"Hey anon can you take my girlfriend hiking with you and your girlfriend to get her to stop bitching to me">I leave him to play pokemon go in the car while I go hiking with the girls>Girls are new to hiking, I have to help and direct them the entire way>We get back to camp, my friend made the fire before we got back but I was the only one who knew how to cook on a fire so I make dinner>feed everyone>friend and his girl go to bed>as soon as we close the tent, my girlfriend practically jumps on me >Shes making out with me really hard, taking off her clothes>"Fuck me anon">Me: "really? You sure?">apparently ordering her friend around and making everyone food made me look really dominant in her eyes and now she wants me to take her virginity>whip out dick, not sure what to do because virgin>won't get hard>she tries sucking on it>won't get hard>I'm nervous, performance anxiety af>can't have sex, get blowjob insteadStill took her virginity (and lost mine) a month later at another campsite, but it still sucks to think I could have done it earlier.
>>1551241i thought this thread would be about girls walking up to you and offering sex in the forest. surely that happens right?
>>1553094Yeah, but they're usually a some kinda supernatural entity, like a hulder or fae or some kinda weird fertility spirit from Back When Man Was In Tune With The Earth or something. So they'd be a good time, but you still don't necessarily want to lest your female friends start coming down with dropsy or milk leg when they start getting too close to ya.
>>1553096>they're usually a some kinda supernatural entityReminded me of a good ol' greentext https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrCmvT-tSgw
>>1551797>>1551808this never happened but it was funny
>>1551315she's ran put of toilet paper, shes reaching for the smooth rock, you dont want a sharp rock
>>1553096Man having a nature spirit wife would be comfy. She'd have no problem accompanying you on outings, be able to forage and find cool things, talk with animals, and would give that gratitude succ for culling deer that are damaging the ecosystem
>>1551315A rock which she is going to paint, write an inspiring message upon and then replace in an obvious spot. But not before taking a photograph for instagram. The perfect day!
>>1551450I know the feel of shroomsex. Congrats man, sorry about your mum though.
>>1551333>Only have sex if you want to start a family.Incel loser
>>1551315her beta orbiters
>>1551241They literally just wanted to give you time alone with that girl. You missed out on what could have potentially been the hottest sex of your life. Way to go, champ.>>1551326>I'm buff as fuck>Cute asian girl basically throwing herself at me>Nothing happensAre you fucking gay?>>1551350>>1551892Big lel>>1551450>>1553207Wow, that's hot as fuck. Best story of the thread. I've never had sex on shrooms before, even though I'm big into psychadelic drugs. I love tripping on mushrooms and LSD, and I've tripped with girls who were trying to have sex before, but I'm just not about it. I don't know why but I never feel horny during a trip, I'm fact it's quite the opposite. I just do NOT want to have sex on psycs. Kinda weird.>>1551580>>1551613>>1551777Hawt>>1551797>>1551808Super fucking hot Jesus Christ. Lucky you. I mean you basically got raped but who cares, that's awesome. Hopefully they were able to have fun with you.>>1551963Fucking hell mate that is hot. What a fond memory for you. Similar thing happened to me where I hopped on bed with these two female friends of mine because they were too drunk to drive home. One of them started by rubbing her ass against my dick, one thing led to another and I ended up fucking both of them. Good times. For all the faggots who will cry "HURR FAKE," the girls were both fat as hell, if that helps to sooth you.Anyway good story anon>>1551973Lol dumb nibbas ITT crying about squirt. Nice story bro >>1552090Top fuckin lel my guy>>1552283If a girl has been out in the woods exercising all day, she's probably gonna have a bit of stank on her cooch. >>1552585I still came to your story >>1552811>I leave him to play pokemon go in the car while I go hiking with the girlsMax kek. I lost it at that line. Based
Can confirm, /out/ men are dense aspie retards and I don't even try anymore. I date girls now and it's much nicer.
>>1551333>Sexual excesses are a consequence of civilization>making assumption about caveman behaviorcitation needed. you know they threw massive interbreeding orgy parties with neathandrtal
My GF and I found a 1 mile spur hiking trail in the middle of the National Forrest.It was the first warm day of spring and there was absolutely no one. A little bit up the trail we start teasing each other. I pull up her shirt, she pops open my my jean button and I waggle my dick at her while she looks at me like I'm some kind of ape man. I just strip to nothing and walk up the trail, after a bit I convince her there's no one out and she follows suit (I have to carry her stuff though lol).We find the end of the trail has been over taken by a river, so we beat a path a few hundred feet off the trail, lay down our coats and start going at it.
>>1551333found the virgin
>>1551333this would be downvoted in reddit.
>>1551333>Stop watching porn.>Stop habitual masturbation (stop completely if you can).>Stop hookups.Based>Only have sex if you want to start a familycringe
>>1551241I have one- not gonna green text cuz takes too long. I was working at a NP one summer during college. Start chatting up to tourist sisters- both very pretty they were about 10yrs apart and the youngest was in HS. Spent a good portion of the day with them showing them some cool spots etc...they invite me back to their campsite. I go. The youngest one tells me shes a virgin and wants to lose it with me. no way. what about your sister?? says shes cool with it. but you only have a small tent. no prob she says. I say fuck it- ask the older sister is its all true and she says yes- They wanted her to lose it on this trip- with her older sister as a guide- and they picked me. Spent the next few hrs plowing this beautiful teen virgin with her sister laying next to us watching the whole time. I tried to engage the sister too but she wasnt having it. She wanted to watch and make sure everything was ok...it was wierd but also totally fucking hot.
>>1551241I have a kinda similar story>16>Was dating my current wife back in high school >families lived close together in rural area so we grew up togetherWe both attended the same high school and it was religious so we'd take mandatory weekend religious retreats to a local camps that were on huge lakes and surrounded by forests/hills, we lived in east Tennessee so it was some good shit aside from the ticksanyway>older cousin was a faculty at the school and happened to be looking over my classes cabins>always was a bro to me, our families lived next door so he was the closest thing to an older brother I had>when night came he let me and said gf out of the cabins at night >fuck yes>we got a canoe like pic related, but it didn't have the middle pieces>we brought two blankets and a single pillow and rowed out to the middle of the lake >fucked on/off for a good two hours then fell asleep>wake up>sun high in the sky>oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck>check my phone >10:30 am>fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck>had to row all the way back to the shore just me and her after they'd be looking for us all morning>Camp leader and other teachers waiting at shore as we rowed up>immediately separated and questioned until our parents came and got us>had to take the blame for sneaking out And that's the story of how my parents and their friends found out me and their were fucking, Me and my wife got suspended for a full week and had to take a bunch of sexuality classes and whatnot. Parents were pissed, but eventually got over ittldr; fucking in a canoe is pretty cool
>>1553186Gods, I know. It'd be the perfect excuse to drop everything and go live inna woods forever.
>>1553568in that situation you gotta just row up with a shiteating grin and no apology. You're a very based man anon, happy for you and the missus
Not hot or sexy.Out on a week long hike.Camp on ridge line about 10 miles outside of a town.Turns out its where all the local homosexuals drive to fuck each other in public.Actually a very polite bunch of chaps and move their degeneracy a bit down the road so I can sleep.
>>1552502Squirting is real you retard. My last gf did it nightly.
>>1554007Fuck of back to /soc/ or /b/ or /r9k/ you virgin.Cunts like you go to decent groups and turn them to the same shit you came from.You are the niggers of 4chan.
>>1554007Then why isn't she your gf anymore lmao
>>1554008They do squirt you dumbass. You haven't been with enough women to know. It's not all super crazy like the videos. It's subtle
>>1554032Right, I never had girlfriends, I havent been maried for years.Shitposter fucks like you should be put to sleep.
>>1554007Haha, what an inceltard
>>1554032No, we don’t. Also, and this is just my own opinion, but you should stop sleeping around so much unless you are trying to procreate.
>>1554032That's them actually pissing.
>>1554275IIRC you're actually both kind of right - it's basically urine, but some of the key components of urine are missing and it's a little hard to tell if the remainder are actually urine or just the result of the glands in question being so close to the urethra.
>>1554296This is closer to the truth. What is shown in porno is no where near what is (sometimes) seen in a handful of some women
Broskis plz fuk off with the piss debate and post some /out/ sexy stories RFN!!
>>1554296It's coming from the bladder, that's straight up piss. Even though they did study, and the empty bladder would magically fill up pretty much instantly, the person than squirts. Even though it doesn't really smell or even taste like piss, I'm still calling it just that.
>>1551241>go camping with friends and bring girlfriend for first time>we have our own tent>fill her belly with cum every night while my friends are sleeping meters away.
This thread was a mistake. Luered in incels who never seen a clit.I fear they might stay.
OK, first, allow me to preface this multi part story from PRESENT life, with the fact that I have noticed this thread over the last few days, but not yet read a single post within it. After I make this first installment, I will at least read a few, then the entire thing after I get some good sleep.>be me>just finished receiving the fuck of my 4.6 decades of life in muh tent, about 1.5 hours ago>over 5 years without more than a hug's touch with a woman, post divorce>be her>"old flame" from like, 22 years ago, more recently divorced>tubes tied 14 years ago>no STDs>be me again>tent in ex wife's back yard>ex and son fly to Colorado for a pre him heading off to college "last adventure">breaks out air mattress that has been stored for years>usually sleeps on the ground and foam Ridgerest™>hallelujah, praise lortI reckon I will read a bit of your material, and return "tomorrow" for the next installment, which I am sure you will all be anxiously awaiting. I might even come back in a few moments in order to respond, should any of you plebs wind up having said anything interesting within the bit that I see "tonight". Oh my goodness gracious was it just totally the most exquisite vagina, too!
Closest I've come is seeing 3 girls (and one's boyfriend) skinnydipping.>>1551871This is what I was thinking, too.>>1551873>I hate my young self for being so shy and romantic, mised out a lot of chances.So much this. It literally hurts sometimes to think of the girls basically throwing themselves at me, which I either didn't pick up on, or was too goody-two shoes "old fashioned" to proceed on. Fucking Catholic school.
>>1551241God damn it, OP, what a pic related. That story was the biggest letdown ever. I was so totally expecting that later during the trip the magic circumstances would arise where you had the time alone, and glory beyond kingly treasure would be had that day! Really though, WTF was up with that bitch, going all cold on you? You weren't too autistic, if she was feeling any calls, she could have read (You) better and been more assertive herself to accommodate. She was just not truly right in some deep way, and at first she was probably thinking something like "I wonder if I should be open to us liking each other" or whatever, and then she thought about it that night, made the decision not to, and was sure to not show you signals giving the idea that you should attempt to progress.Anyway, it was still a great story, that is relatable on many levels to many of us, at least in some peripheral manner. So how did she wind up in life after that, do you know? Your story actually reminded me of the time I went with my best friend since 4th grade to his family's camp out in a relatively nearby state park for a two night weekend, and at night, his sister, older than me (I think I was maybe 13 and she was 16) slept on a cot beside mine, spaced about two feet, 10 person tent with 5 people in it all together, parents on far end from me, and she sucked my fingers after everyone had been hopefully asleep a few minutes! If I thought I could get my dick out and positioned, and her get positioned, without it being obvious to anyone potentially awake, that shit would have went down!
>>1551241>anons parents set up their autistic forever alone son to have sex and maybe have a shot at a somewhat normal life due to the confidence boost>spergs out>doesnt matter she still got paid
>>1553568Imagine living in a theocratic shithole where a couple can't even have sex without their entire community throwing a shitfit. What is this, Afghanistan?
>>1554451JFC, that indeed. It's like I replay over and over all the times of sheer glory I missed out on due to sperging in some form or another. For me it was usually doubt, but rooted in the "not picking up on it", like, if those signals were not loud and clear enough, I would be too terrified to attempt jack shit, thinking they would be like "you misread me just being friendly" or some such thing.
>>1554451I'm just thankful for the times I stumbled into actually making fuck. It's a miracle looking back.
>>1553568>fucking in a canoe is pretty coolI hear it's a bit like American beer
>>1551241>feminists: "STOP SEXUALIZING WOMEN YOU PIG">Men: "but i like looking at it">normal women: "that image"
>>1554465That's pretty much exactly my case as well. Most things I have ever achieved in general in life were more or less stumbled into, and stumbled back out of!
>>1554446Based boomer greentext. Ty btw
>>1554467It gives you diarrhoea?
>>1554512The greatest beers on Earth are American, but beer, beyond "one or three for the pure enjoyment of it" at the most is for faggots altogether anyway.
>>1554512Possibly, but it's certainly fucking close to water.
>>1551241If I saw this on the trail I would honestly just commit rape. If she wants to experience Mother Nature, I’ll show it to her.
>>1554452>posts a reaction longer than OP’s storyNice blogpost
>>1551333Based and christpilled. Ignore the degens
>>1554533No, you wouldn’t.
Sometimes I jack off while hiking and think about how a girl might step where I spooged later
>>1551333Any persuasive power you might have had was absolutely killed by that retarded image
>>1554727That image is the least retarded part of that post and actually has sources. We can all agree that porn is poison.
>>1554446I was up till 8am (usual "normal" night is 4 at the latest, typically around 2ish), slept all fucked up for a while, woke & 8, and she'll be back for more in just a short while from now! Apparently I used muscles that have never been called into action before in my life, and I can barely stand, though keep in mind, just the day before I'd done a 6.5 mile to a mountain top with my son, so I was already a slight bit sore in those muscle groups. Anyway, y'all virgins enjoy your Korean cabbage fermentation forums, and I'll catch you up with the contextual back story ASAP, try not to go full blown Beatlemania chick deep within your souls while you wait!
>>1551241i fucked my girlfriend doggystyle in the pine barrens near my house. got ticks all over me and chiggers ate her legs up. outdoor fucking is stupid fuck you and your made up greentext bullshit.
>>1554852>thinks ticks and chiggers ruin getting to fuck
>>1554862>thinks a wet hole is worth even the slightest inconvenience
>>1554848please don’t catch us up nor share your back story.
Long story made shortened >be me>go camping >cousin almost of same ages goes along>alcohol>sexy fun game in the river>no sex>go home with regret and bad hung over
>>1554872>>1554879outright kekles! It's comin', baby, seethe with anticipation greater than even that of a puppy when it's "owner" has returned!
>>1551350Me almost every fucking day>work literally 60 seconds from home>wake up and go 5 minutes before I have to punch in>get to work as morning erection calms down >climb in equipment with a semi and go to work >achieve full mast from vibrations and shit driving through woods to work site of the dayEvery fucking day, without exception.
>>1554456rural Tennessee, and i guess it was more because we were young as fuck, and in a very christian part of the state, i mean I understand why they were mad, especially when 16 and pregnant was a hit show at the timeand the entire community didn't throw a shitfit, just the school and our families>>1553724I think if we'd had both been 18 it'd have been different, but yeah it's still a funny story to tell people>>1554467>hurr daururur id clo 2 dah watahhaven't heard that joke before
>>1554893JFC, have you considered just doing some fucking sometime, maybe?
>>1555029>rural TennesseeRural GA and can certainly relate, at least having known so many who grew up in that kind of context, and I wasn't all that far from it personally (Methodist, pretty chill relatively to Pentecostals and other hard fundamentals, for example). But truly, it sounds totally worth it. I know at the time it was being "in a lot of trouble" and shit, but that finally eventually wore off and the experience and memory are "forever"! It's especially spectacular that you wound up married! I also went to my share of scout and 4H camps, so also knew the general vibe of attempting hookups of any possible kind one could at those! If only we all had a cousin bro in charge at them!
>>1551808>blackout hammered by 7 shots of vodka.Typical weak ass American.
>>1555201Shit, you bring as many of your boys as you want down here to the Deep South, and I will round up an equal number of mine and fuck y'all's shit up with drinkin' any fuckin' day, and that's no matter who you are, Irish, Russian, or Mexican. Not only that, but our natives will put us both to shame! There has never been greater drunks on Earth than the Injuns.
>>1551326And the moral of the story is that if you had befriended a Japanese twink you would have fucked him rotten without hesitation because your lust would have taken control of you. Instead, it was a female so your body didn't respond because you are not instinctively attracted to females. It's okay, anon. We don't judge gays here.
>>1555209This, assuming the entire thing, including being a Marine, isn't just a nice larp.
>Be hiking in german woods>Have my slave girl with me>Walk around finding some nice place to do a little bondage and take a few nice pictures>It´s a nice day so fucking tourists everywhere>venture deeper into the woods>An hour in we find a nice kind of hidden opening, surrounded by cliffs>Tell slave to get naked>Take a few pics but the light is shit>Am angry and decide to give her a nice whipping>Pull out little whip out of bag and have her bent over >Pull my dick out and have her suck it>give her a good spaking>as I get more aroused I beat her harder, the spaking noises get louder>Suddenly hear female voice>"oooookay">turn head>turns out there was a hippie bitch meditating on the rock that came to check out what the noise was>got a nice view on my slaves spanked ass and swollen red cunt>hippie turns around and leaves>we burst into laughter and gtfo back home to finish our businessWould have given her a good fucking too if she stayed, but was a nice day regardless.
>>1555201>alcohol tolerance = manlinessNo sir. Being a father = manliness.
>>1555166Every chance I get, has no effect. My dick doesn't say quit I guess.
>>1555280No, no, this picture is all wrong. Anon isn't standing out on the field looking miserable and Mr. Anon isn't screaming about how pathetic he is through the centerfield fence.
>>1555280Any retard with a functional set of balls can be a dad, that is the worst measure of masculinity I can imagine. Think of all the fat weak and slow dads you have seen.Masculinity is applied athleticism coupled with a mental toughness geared towards dominance. Anything else is a platitude to make weak men feel better.
>>1555403the father meme is probably one of the worst and most forced memes on /out/
>>1555403Getting a girl pregnant is not the same as being a father. Being a father is the ultimate expression of manhood. You are making yourself strong enough to support others. To do it well, you first off have to keep your woman in line. If you're weak she will overmother your child. That is the first feat. Second, you have to be consistent over very long periods of time. You have to consistently model a way of being in the world that will give your child an intuitive understaning of masculine goodness and strength. And to do that, obviously you have to have developed a way of being that makes sense and works in the real world. Third, you have to be economically effective enough to support the practical need of the family. That is another feat, building a career.Athelticism and mental toughness are just one piece of your attitude towards the world.
>>1555423It's basically the three archetypal aspects of masculinity. The lover, warrior, and magician. When you can express all of those things in their most mature form, you tap into that king archetype. Those are the men we naturally admire.
>>1555423As Dad to an 18 year old, *this*...at the very least. What a truly vast, complex subject, in many ways, but *this*, among it all.
>>1555423You forgot the most important part; not having a daughter.
>>1555466Pls post the full hits pipe meme, I used to have it saved but I’m a dirty phoneposter
I fucked a tight French Canadian girl in a tent once.
>>1553383Posts like this ruin threads, quit replying to every damn post you weirdo
>>1555525>single post within many>easily scrolled past>"thread ruined"
i dont have sex because I am incredibly ugly
>>1555537That didnt stop your mom.
>>1555537Ugly people have sex all the time. Maybe you'll never bang hot girls, so what. There are plenty of fat and ugly girls out there. If you show a little affection to them, they will latch onto you no matter how ugly you are.
>>1555427Jung was full of shit and any work based on his, including Moore's, is just as worthless. The "warrior" type is literally the only thing that matters, "magicians" make tools for warriors and "lovers" have no function. The idea that one can mix these traits in order to achieve a higher level of masculinity is idealistic and logically faulty.
>>1555548I disagree, the more Jung I read the more impressed I am with the depth of his insight. You're thinking in too abstract terms about warriors and lovers and so on. They aren't people, they are aspects of our nature. In other words, tools we were born with to successfully navigate the world. A human male needs to be able to defend himself from others and hunt. He needs to be able to woo a woman. He needs to be able to innovate and problem solve. If he can't do all of these things he is a failure.And the potential to do all of these things is built into us. During the course of our life, we need to realize that potential and master our use of each of these tools. If we don't, it's the same as being blind, deaf, or crippled. A waste of potential.I think you're in a phase where you're beginning to realize some of that warrior energy. That's good. It's becoming a lost art in modernity. Being strong looms large in your mind right now, and everything else seems small. But as you master this aspect of yourself, the other aspects of being a man will come into perspective. One more point about Jung, that might stick with you a bit more. I'm sure you agree that our culture is terrified of masculinity. It rejects it on a fundamental level. Do you think it's a coincidence that they also reject Jung and Freud? The ideas presented by those are not compatible with a feminized society.
>>1555271>fucking tourists everywhereWas it consensual?
>>1555573Looks like got a grammarian here
>>1555394Shit, man. Well, this chick that has "visited my tent" the last two nights would probably wear it out enough to last a good while. I kept thinking of that line from "Some Girls" by the Stones that says "I just don't have that much jam". I bet mine goes turtle for a month and starts sayin' "I'm good" to everything it would normally go "Well hello there" to.>>1554879I regret to inform you that I was up till 9:30 am, and have only slept until a little after noon, so I just do not yet have the required energy to bring you the relief you so badly crave.
>>1555503oof, my dream
>Be military guy in some european country>been enlisted for 5 years>one month long "hardening training" (best translation I could do), basically stupidly hard for the sake of being stupidly hard>average temperature in the moutains at night -20°C>I'm the only one who has actual cold weather gear because gearfag>one night, one of the only girls here comes and ask to sleep with me in my fjellduken, for warmth>so tired from the day climbing and running that I say yes without having a single dirty thought>we end up not quite fucking (because no condoms and it was more then 10 days since our last shower) but naked against each other and using our hands>continue this for the following nights>come back to our actual unit where it is not cold as fuck>weird semi friend with benefits relationshipand voila
>>1551333Fuck the cumbrainsThis post is based and redpilled
>>1555563>And the potential to do all of these things is built into us. During the course of our life, we need to realize that potential and master our use of each of these tools. If we don't, it's the same as being blind, deaf, or crippled. A waste of potential.The problem is that when you break it down to it's purist forms inovation and emotion lose out entirely to competitive instinct, be it through violence or otherwise. You can rationalize it as much as you want under the pretense that no man is without any of these traits which while true discounts situations in which certain traits have been muted or completely shut off from trauma or the like.>I think you're in a phase where you're beginning to realize some of that warrior energy. That's good. It's becoming a lost art in modernity. Being strong looms large in your mind right now, and everything else seems small. But as you master this aspect of yourself, the other aspects of being a man will come into perspective. You couldn't be further from the truth on this one my friend. Started wrestling when I was 5, learned pretty quick that all the technique and heart in the world won't get you to the top of the podium, physical ability and pure grit will. If you have to do something dirty to get there then you do it, anything to get to the top. At 9 I joined the 4H program and that lesson got hammered home, it doesn't matter if you love what you are doing or have a great knowledge of your project, if you play by the rules you lose to the kids whose parents make the rules.Life is finite, resources are finite, and glory is finite. The man who can grab the most is the winner on the day. Technology always changes and is only a tool to help seize these things. Likewise love comes and goes, so long as it lasts long enough to produce offspring it has served it's purpose. Glory on the other hand is eternal.
>>1551241My gf and I had sex at a park by a lake once, it was nice but she got scared by a porcupine making noise in a tree and was paranoid and looking over her shoulder the whole time.
>>1555271>Mentions pics taken>No pic in postFuken always.
>>1551241I wish time travel was a thing so I could go back in time and watch OP get friend zoned super fucking hard "so what do you want to do now?"(makes his move)(loud disgusted screaming)
>>1551808Anon gets mogged but ascends to /out/ Chad status
>>1551333>mating opportunities were very limitedlmao, what is rape glow nigger
>>1551808this didn't happen, but i wish it happened to me. minus the drunkeness.
>>1554446>be me 93>working at and living upstairs in the only "head shop" (hippy shit, bongs, shirts, hard core occult) ever to be in this small, rural, Deep Southern town>It is a happening joint. 90s culture and kids, magickal times>as sole employee, best friend owner, alone much of the time, plenty of dead time, varyingly close regulars that hung a lot>I become a central figure of the entire local counterculture>this draws the ladies, but I am no overly degenerate whore, and in fact rather "old fashioned">I meet and mingle with many, in varying ways, but among them, I also meet...*this one*.
>>1555736Now, keep in mind, all the "cool youth" and "cool" in general, including trippy, awesome really old ladies, from the entire region were drawn to this place. Some from another town even referred to it as "Mecca". So anyway, it was a serious local subcultural stirring, after decades of the shit that resulted in us being picketed by churches and shit. Alright:>be her, fresh out of HS>starts coming by a lot>sometimes really crowded, sometimes even just us for a short while before customers, or regs show up
>>1555798I mean, the piggies were all the time tryin' shit like getting undercovers to come in and try to "buy drugs" and shit...they "just knew" we were peddlin'! After a few years they even brought in an undercover fed to "infiltrate" any of the various groups that came and went there and such, like, trying to befriend us all, because all the groups mixed and mingled a bit as well. Anyway, I got to be OK sorta distant, light "friends" with him, and he didn't know I knew who he really was, but the rumor was strong and well supported among all of us, but he was fun! He gave me a good sized bag of shitty shake once, just because fuck it, here it is, I could have it!>be her again>I went to school all the years with her older sister, didn't know she existed>just found out last night she was freshmen to my senior though>they had been in foster homes most of those years>abused by biodad>rather extreme poverty with mother>in fact, older sister had often come to school in dirty clothes during early years before finally good foster family later on
>>1551333Based and Red Pilled
>>1555623Not read Jung but you sound pretty retarded. Technology trumps sheer strength constantly. I agree that grit and perseverance make all the difference in competition but out thinking your opponent can fuck them without a fight. I would also say that love trumps both of these as it is the fundamental drive behind everything. If all you have is love for yourself and your notion of glory, you are living a lonely, shallow existence. Love begins with your spouse and the children you beget is a manifestation of that love. To love your child is to love yourself in a pure and selfless way, and it is also to love yourself in a pure and non-lustful way. The fruit of this love is the greatest fruit in the world. Faggot.
>>1555608naked grinding is actually hot as fuck esp when she gets all wet and it slicks your dick up
>>1555927Fuuuuuuuuuck yeah, man, based.
>>1551340No bro. The problem is you, the girls are fine.
>>1555403>Any retard with a functional set of balls can be a dadExcept for you it seems. Also, being a "father" is a whole other level, anon.>>1555515That was written by a pedeophile? Why would you save something like that? Are you are a pedophile?
>be me>be hiking the Cold River in NH to find a spot to swim>be with 3 friends(gf and other couple)>a third couple hikes past us, they don't say much>notice their toe-shoes, cringe a little and move on>get to this rock formation that makes a still water pool, just big enough for us to hangout and go in the water>after 5 minutes we notice the toe-shoe couple is up on the bank thats elevated from the water line>5 more minutes go by and they've taken off their clothes and started massaging one another>we decide we should leave them alone and walk out of the river towards the other bank>they're fucking by the time we get up the hill to the road that runs along the river>from the road we have a much higher vantage point and can see them really going at it now>start to notice multiple old fat men that are completely naked and watching from in the river just down from where we were>count about 5-6 Did we happen into some luddite porn?
>>1555403>there’s some bad dads so you don’t get credit for being a good dad!
>>1555726Haha, nice post anon. That was epic. You read something on the internet that you chose not to believe, and then after that you clearly presented your opinion on the information. You really told that guy off. That was a super epic win. *Dabs*
>>1556053h-hotWere they masturbating too by any chance
>>1556243I couldn't tell from the distance, but yes, absolutely they were jerking off their penises with their hands.
>>1555544Butterfaces may still have great tits or a nice tight vag, you never know. I have no shame in saying I fucked a few uggos who were nearly 9/10s or 10/10s below the neck. They can be a bit more insecure and passive, but are usually more open/game for whatever once you have them in bed.
>>1555608All the dried cum and girl goo, not to mention sweat, in your mansack. What a smell.
>>1555804I've been away on important business >>>/qa/2844615 because jannies are fucking faggots. So, before I begin, allow me to preface that despite how sexy this is about to get (still back in the 90s), we never got alone under the proper conditions to go any further until just now, out of nowhere, after all these years.>be me, in store alone reading probably Native American and "Indian Wars" history, or their spiritual esoterics>she comes in, we've been light chatting with flirtatious vibes for the last couple of years or whatever, I can barely remember all the details of timeline relation in some aspects>I'm usually in the chair behind the counter, or standing somewhere back there along it's 4 part length, depending on who all is around doing what>she leans on the counter in front of me and we start chatting as usual>but now she comes back and sits in my lap>we are now chatting as usual, but in this new manner!>talks with her hands, "accidentally" grazes dick!>I say "aight, look out now">she immediately goes right into rubbin'>I unzip>she goes "I don't know about this" but obliges!>I begin going in for kissing>be her>has a long time rocky relations boyfriend>lives at his parents' house with them>has no place else to go>I live upstairs in attic of head shop with nothing but couch bed, fridge, washer, dryer, lamp, milk crate shelves full of books, and a no cable TV VCR so the owner can record me Deep Space Nine episodes and bring them up to me!
>>1556274I had a washable inner sleeping bag and we cleaned up with baby wipes afterwards, but yes, the smell was... funky.Considering that we ran an absurd number of miles each day with full rucksacks in freezing cold, we were too tired to think about the smell
>>1556323>>1555804>>1555798>>1555736>>1554446You really really suck at story-telling.
>>1556377That pic related is perfect! I try not to give too many fucks though.
>>1556323If you wish, there is a slight bit of supplementary material for this over in the "how to get /out/ gf" thread: >>1555904. I am thinking that's probably exactly what I'm about to wind up doing. She has 4 years left of raising her last two (of four) kids, and I will be permanent /out/ starting around this Aug, but she will come "visit" at camps whenever I am near enough to this region, then she's open to the idea of having a small, crusty old RV maybe by about then. Anyway:>very shortly after the chair incident, customers and such>a few weeks go by, another day it just happens to be only us>seen her with crowds around twice over that time, one of them she said "I want to do that again" and left>We are talking standard chat, I order a delivery pizza for us>she is now sitting in my chair behind the counter, I am standing beside the white plastic bucket that served as my foot prop>I tell her "I need to check on yours there, sometime, just to make sure it is actually there"
>>1556396>check on yoursWelp, anon got a beej from a dude.
>>1556441kekles, but no:>she gives the spread signal>I reach, sliding up her loose jeans shorts leg, grazing that leg skin along the wayNow, I really should back up just a bit right here and point out one other previous event. One crowded Fri night, folks we know all around, joint jumpin', I was in my chair and she came back for a few minutes standing over the white bucket, leaning back on this side of the counter. She had on a skirt with hose, and lifted it for just a moment and I caught a glimpse of The Great It with no panties, but through the hose...but you could clearly see the lips and "darker area". She saw me look and then held it back up for about a minute to let me really study it! I can't recall if that was before or after the previously mentioned chair incident. Anyway, back to the one in progress:>I feel the edge of those panties, wondering how difficult it is going to be to get up in there a little>nearly effortless>feel around just a little to get the layout and start parting and feeling for water>within two up/down movements, gold>manage to get one finger up in there pretty good before...>pizza man enters back door, plastic colored beads rattling all over the metal mesh covering the glass door>pull finger out>face her>suck finger>pay the man and eat pizza before customers begin showing up soon after...
>>1556460I know y'all kids are dyin' for the next installment, but I've been workin' on muh country 'n' western material for a bit this eve. Just imagine the Louvin Brothers a sangin' "I'm more or less ooover yooooooooou, to a certain deeegreeeeeeeeeee"!
This isn't the homeless containment thread. Stop posting and stop breathing.
>>1556636Your generation wasn't taught a certain respect for elders, son, and that's because my generation was the last one to be taught it, but the first not to teach it. I do, thusly, recognize the scorn it deserves, but yet still lament the damn shame of its passing from our customs. Good thing I'm not homeless though, yet!
Hiked down Grand Canyon today, saw a chick in the smallest bikini possible down in Indian Garden. Also started to rain so a lot of see trough clothing. Thats about it.
>>1556647>Thats about itWell that's enough to be fucking incredible though, Anon, you were blessed, and have now blessed us with imagining it someday happening to each and every one!
>>1556643I was just thinking on this some more, how true it really is. The (actual) boomers get a lot of shit from here, and it is mostly deserved, more or less. But there are/were a lot of profoundly admirable things about them, or to come from/through them as well. They came from some of the greatest badasses ever, both male and female. My grandfather was WWII, got blown up in the latter Battle of the Bulge and woke up in a hospital in LondonLONDONBut before that, he came back for a very short while because of his father's funeral, and conceived my Dad before returning. I was around a lot of great old timers and am very grateful for having been taught respect for not only them, but what all they had gone through, creating our folks and us and ours along the way. The oldsters were a hard core trip to meet and mingle with. I used to go down to the local historical society and video their talks at the monthly meetings where they might have a guest that was a Flying Fortress pilot that crash landed at the Cliffs of Dover. There were lots, all kinds. Anyway, there were a lot of boomers there listening to them each time, but I was the only Xer ever. I went to the houses of the most interesting ones and did more interviews and such, some I even made DVDs of, and gave to the Society. Oh, and they didn't have any edgelords, which was mostly pleasant, but it would'a been cooler if they did.
>>1551591It looks as if you actually dodged a bullet then m80.
>>1551241>obvious LARP thread with shocking misinformation about women
>>1555172yeah lmao it was like the typical childhood friend bullshit but neither of us moved away nor let puberty fuck up the relationship, there were some weird ass years though. I will say though it did not suck not going on the senior retreat, we were both banned from going back lol, I heard it was a lot more laid back and had hookups and that shit. I do wish i'd have had the chance to chase chicks, but then again, I don't know how that would have worked outHigh school sucked, and there were a shit ton of rules and times I got in trouble, but like you said, it was bad then, but looking back, it was fun and i was a little shit stain that should have enjoyed it way more than i did
>>1557101Yeah, I got banned from Sunday School (for asking the hard questions) and from youth group "leadership" years later. Weird indeed. Weirder still, many, many years later when I had my own family, I became my son's Sunday School teacher, for a brief while when I wanted to expose him a bit to the better aspects of the church culture, as a child. All things considered, I found it all to be life long beneficial in some profound, even essential ways.
>>1557119yeah Christianity definitely doesn't know how to get children into their religion, it's probably why there are so many teens who are so fervently against religion. Christianity is an extremely beautiful religion with wonderful music and art and cool stories, but most people just have to be assholes who yell at you for touching yourself and whatnot My elementary/high school 100% made me hate religion, but as I grew up i found it to be a really cool ideal to have, but it took several years of traveling and spending time /out/ to really get it. No children yet, but i'm definitely going to let them go down most paths that they decide
>>1557101>i'm definitely going to let them go down most paths that they decideThe old man on the front pew said "Amen". I taught my son as much of the great profundities of Christianity as I could, but I also discussed the issues with it, showed him "the bad passages", and asked him questions like "Does that seem like a kind, loving, megagenius creator of all existence to you?". I also read the Tao Te Ching and discussed passages with him, taught him about Buddha/Buddhism (watched docs and stuff like Seven Years in Tibet as well), and a lot of ancient "pagan" stuff from the Native Americans and Celts in particular. But mostly, I explored sciences with him, constantly, from the earliest ages, in any way he showed interest.BTW, when I mentioned teaching his Sunday School above, it was all at the same Methodist church. I spoke at my first friend in life's funeral the other day there, we grew up in it together, and both got kicked out of the youth leadership together back then. It was a very surreal experience, not having been there more than the occasional Mother's Day over the last many years, and being the only person who could speak at his funeral, attended mostly only by what are now the church old timers, and one other that was one of us kids there in the same era.
>>1551338Made me kek anon. Good one.
>>1551241>Couple of years ago. I'm off camping with some friends of mine. They step out cause they want to go fishing which is ok, cause I want to just enjoy my day by the lake. >Busy weekend at the lake. People are around and I need to pee, so I go into the woods to piss. >Guy in red shirt comes around unexpectedly, and says how sorry he is. >I ain't sorry, because I've got a big dick and my dad told me to proud of it. Tell him it gets even bigger if I pull on it. >Anon is intrigued. >Tell him about how when I pull on it, sometimes I rip the skin. >His daddy taught him an elegant solution on how to not rip the skin. >Will he show me? >He'd be right happy to.......
>>1556460>be me>wanting that pussy all this time>visit nursing home she works at next town, only place outside of my work I can safely go to see her, attempting to demonstrate that she is definitely wanted should rocky relation be rocky enough>she's just getting off, we head out shortly after>leaning on my car in the headlights, her co-workers getting off driving by, begin passionate kissing>she reaches behind her and pulls my hands down from her back onto her ass>has to get home before suspicious
>>1551241did this nigga just call a campfire a fireplace
>>1557194Reminds me of the time he and my wife planted that lemon tree.
>>1551241>Oh heavens, look the time
>>1557235Been shootin' /out/ at pic related, Mosin–Nagant, SKS, AR-15 and such, at metal targets, and I am not even /k/. Anyway:>be me>really likes her a lot, and always flirtatious, with these few moments told above here and there>runs into closest, longest time female friend (met in In School Suspension my senior year) that had had a few such minglings with>she now lives at Yellowstone, and had spent the last year or so road tripping and living there with my chick cousin>flys me to Yellowstone for one week for my birthday>we hook up, I sell everything I have left, and move out there to be with her>wind up married and family>22 years pass>I divorced 5 years ago, living in tent in ex wife's back yard to be with son>original lady of this story separated irrevocably about 8 months ago>my oldest friend dies early June>we run into each other over that
> be seattlefag> climber, skier, bla bla> 10 single men to each women in the city because seattle> lots of /out/ girls> 20 /out/ guys, all athletic and richfags, to every /out/ girl
Be careful. I was banging a girl on the beautiful forest floor only to look down and see both of us literally covered in ticks like we had rolled over an ant nest.
>>1558226who the fuck would even want to live in seattle anyway? isn't the homeless shit getting real bad? it's probably one of the fakest cities i've ever been in, the PNW is godtier /out/ though
>>1551315Ass posing bitch.
>>1551973Big blade give man big sex
>>1558250Some might consider that to be an ultimate new fet.