*blocks your path*
cougars are the only wild animal that legitimately spook me. Luckily they're semi-mythical in my area so I don't really have to worry about it.
>>1501608thats a big ass cat>the only wild animal that legitimately spook metrying living in Griz country where people get mauled every year...you will keep your head on a swivel when /out.
>pulls out laser pointer>shine it off cliffNothing personnel kitty
Thought that was a massive tiger from the thumbnail, jesus big cats are yoked as fuck.
>>1501608*clears your path*
>>1501608If you dont have a gun what do you do here? Die?
>>1501816You can probably charge it and hope it runs
run away as fast as I can while I loudly sob and whimper
>>1501608*Loads Mounted Machine Gun With Slugs*I'm The Cat's Meow Motherfuckerhttps://youtu.be/7Yrsmrc_tVo
>>1501615Fucking this.Only I know enough people who have seen them that I know we have them, whatever the state wildlife biologists may say. They aren't common, but they are here.>>1501652Grizzlies would scare me, too, if I lived out west, but we only have black bear, which are mostly nothing to get worked up over: give them a wide berth and they won't bother you (same goes for moose).>>1501816Whatever you do: DO NOT RUN.>>1501846Running is more likely than anything to trigger an attack, and that thing can outrun you easy.
>>1501846>runYou are now a target, they don't see us as prey as long as you don't run
>>1501844I want a study done to see if this actually works on big cats.
Still better than fucking dogs.
>>1502017a cats vagina actually has a rougher texture than a dogs
>>1501608I live in Missouri USA and I saw one when I was camping last weekend. twas weilding a machete as it came out of the woods, it was fast and long not nearly as big as that thing though. I was scared but it ran back into the woods
>>1501663Jesus, is this real? How the fuck do you even manage that by yourself?
>>1501846Don't do this Anon.You can't realistically fight it if you are unarmed but it doesn't know that. Your best bet is to posture and stand your ground like you would with a dog and hope it goes for some easier prey.If you show fear it will become interested in you.>t. Eastern Euro fag who has to deal with a lot of wild dogs
this does not look good. you have hands, you could poke it's eyes out maybe. something like that.
>>1502041it was a teenage/baby cat IIRC
Big cats are ambush predators, mord than likely you would never see them before being attacked.
>>1501608good thing I’m always strapped.
>>1502056would they really be dumb enough to stalk humans tho?
>>1501652>>1501905Both are spoopy as fuck, because the last thing you may hear is just the patter of it's paws before a powerful tackle/swipe and bite.
>>1502041It latched onto his one arm and he used the other to choke it to death
>>1502041it was an 80lb juvenile cougar, not a full grown adult
>>1501608damn did that cat just walk out of the gym or what
>>1502041>open bag>pull out some catnip>get kitty high>proceed to pet kitty >rub catnip on you [spoiler]tummy&dick[/spoiler] and embrace that wonderful kitty tongue >??????>profit god damn mountain lions are cute as fug but not as cute lynxes they are adorable bunny kitties that are made for head pats and ear scratches
>>1502180whoops forgot pic
>>1501816Grab a stick, make yourself large, be prepared to fight. Cats are ambush predators, so if you see it first you have the advantage. There's a decent chance you outweigh the cat.
>>1502042>You can't realistically fight it if you are unarmedbullshit many people did they are just big kitty with a pitbulls resolve and pain tolerance that know kung-fu
>he doesn't carry a rifle when /out/not gonna make it.
>>1502041It is, it was a lionlet tho. Op's would have rekt him no doubt.
Flaming torch in one hand. Knife in the other. Primal roar.
>>1502206pretty sure he says “ok..”
>>1501654Wouldnt mind bantering around a campfire with this anon right here, kek
>>1502056ThisStreetshitters in India actually wear masks on the backs of their heads to supposedly prevent ambush attacks by tigers from behind.
>>1501608BANG. We're eating pussy tonight.
*shoots your face*
>>1501608“Mom says it’s my turn on the xbox”
1. Is there a population of wild cougars in Michigan?Cougars, also called mountain lions, were originally native to Michigan, but were extirpated from Michigan around the turn of the century. The last known wild cougar legally taken in the state occurred in 1906 near Newberry.but they're making a comeback and they are mysticalmy kid moved to Denver and went camping but told his Mom (not step he be mine) that he was worried about Mountain Lions
>>1502224Now, this got me fucking hard. A bit bulky, though.>>1502272No joke, I sometimes carry road flares for this reason.
Got stalked by one a few years ago. Unsettling to say the least.
>>1502418The thing is, even if there isn't a stable breeding population, they are likely present at least as transients. They have found cats killed by cars in New England that had been tagged in like the Dakotas. Their range is much larger than was once thought to be the case.
>>1502418>not step he be mineThanks for clarifying
>>1502034underrated, severely underrated
>>1501608That's why I always carry a spray bottle with me. Cats hate it. Small cats, big cats, doesn't matter.
If it charges I'm blessed and get a cool new coat and some free food. If it decides to fuck off after I stare at it for a while like they normally do I'll carry on with whatever it was I was doing.
>>1502418no evidence of a "population" but there have been verified individuals that wandered into the UP and like 1 in the LP that probably just escaped captivity.
>>1501608Bears are bros but cougars seriously creep the shit out of me.>A few months ago>Drive a shitty US Forest Service road to a remote trailhead in the North Cascades to go snowshoeing in the mountains>Alone, of course>"Nobody has been in this area in months - perfect. This will be a great overnight /out/ing.">Foggy, cloudy and dark, a fuckton of snow everywhere>2spooky4u but just perfect for an /out/ing>Get out of your truck, kneel down next to the driver side door to tie your boots>Hear something fall/jump from a tree behind you and hear a weird sound, kind of like the grunt that a cat or a dog makes when it jumps down from something>Look back, see snow falling from a tree and a large branch bouncing like a spring>"Oh well, probably a marten or something." Despite it obviously being something much larger>Put on your snowshoes and start walking up the snow-covered mountain road toward the trailhead>After about 500 ft you realize that you forgot something in the truck, turn around and start walking back>Notice large cougar tracks next to your footprints>It has followed you all the way from your truck>Looks like it turned 90 degrees and went back to the woods when it heard you turn around>Keep walking back to the truck>Make noise and try to look big>See that the cougar tracks lead back to the road from the woods>Finally get back to the driver side door of your truck>Remember that the keys are in the bottom of your backpack>Notice that the cougar tracks lead back toward the tree where all this started from>Realize that it's still watching you as you frantically try to find the keys>Notice that there are actually two sets of tracks>A large adult and a kitten>Teaching her young how to hunt>mfw
So without any training or experience with cougars, I think what I would do in this situation is:1 Put my hands in the air to appear as large as possible2 Inward breath screech to make an ungodly alien noise that the cat had never heard before3 Back away while still facing the animalWell /out/ do I survive?> inb4 probably not
Wouldn't your darkest roar be more useful to convince the kitty of your power and size?
>>1502224>blocks your action
>>1501813>>1501844>>1501860>>1502224>>1502583Predictable Murikan response.
>>1502657Not even a Burger but fuck off Yuropoor
I would probably stab it with my trekking poles and blow all my breath into my backpack emergency whistle to scare it a bit. But if it's in frond on me, it would mean I spooked it, not that it was stalking me.
This baby holds 16oz and it’s fully loaded. Cum at me ya fucking pussycat.
>>1502583*bites your neck*
>>1501608*scares off little kitty*
>>1502734this got me thinkingwouldnt tigers and lions qualify as being the same species since they produce viable offspring?
>>1502739Aren't ligers and tigons sterile?
>>1502739It's complicated. Same species yes, technically, but not the same subspecies. So they can reproduce together but with genetic limitations. Their offspring are riddled with defects and sterility.
>>1502742It's a myth, they're sterile to other tigers, liger, lions and tigons but will produce healthy offspring with a giraffe or an okapi.
>>1502041>>1502042from what i understand, if you're in a situation where you can't escape, just shove your arm down its throat. of course its easier said than done, but you're not going to over power it or wound it in any meaningful way otherwise. you can only really choke it.
>>1502067If they are hungry enough or you are a manlet that they think they could take.
>>1502612So you locked your door upon exiting your vehicle, then stuffed them into the bottom of your backpack?
>>1502739They do not produce fertile offspring
>>1502224You can kill anything in North America with that, excluding skin walkers.
>>1502078>Thinking you're actually gonna hear anything other than your face hitting the ground and your neck snapping.
>>1502654>t. doesn't know the tolerances on an M1You're going to need a lot more than loose dirt to jam that action. Mud or clay preferably.
>>1501608Why are cougars so gay compared to other big cats like lions, tigers and leopards? They are just as dangerous and quite big but they are so damn lame and uninteresting.
>>1501608Normally they don't bother me but that is a fuck huge looking cat. I can legit see that thing taking on a bear. Would shoot on sight.
Cougars don't scare me, they almost never attack adults and don't have that many confirmed kills. Deer kill more people die to car accidents.
>>1502626>make an ungodly alien noise that the cat had never heard beforeIf you've heard a cat scream, you'll know that no noise a man can make can possibly be as unearthly as that (well, expect perhaps for the noises you'll make as it tears its claws into you; at least it probably won't start eating you while you're still alive like a grizzly might).>>1502739Not necessarily. Horses and donkeys also produce viable offspring, and while male mules and all hinnies (with a single documented exception) are invariably sterile, females mules are occasionally, albeit rarely, fertile. Yet horses and donkeys are universally agreed to be distinct species.
>>1501608I can take it. I'm tall, I'm fit. This cougar don't got shit on me.
>>1501615>semi mythicalits called extinct
>>1504002The word you want is "extirpated." "Extinct" is when the species no longer exists anywhere.
>>1501827it won't. don't try this.
If you don't carry a gun anytime you're out, youre a europoor or underage. Guns beat animals and crack heads.
>>1504146>Guns beat animalsOnly if you see it first.
on the tv today they showed the episode of "I survived" where a husband and wife were hiking and a mountain lion attacks the man. was brutal. basically slash both of his arms up and ripped most of his scalp off in a matter of seconds. it kept trying to get closer to his neck and all he could do was let it chew his fingers and hold it's tongue as a distraction for it not getting his neck. his wife has a 8 ft log hitting it in vain on the back and tried stabbing it's eye out with a pen. finally she smack it on the nose with the log and it backed off.
>>1504167right. they like to ambush their prey. wonder if Native Survival's idea to have a hat with things that look like eyes on the back is a good idea.>>1503592mountain lions are highly successful predators if you look at it from a where they live standpoint. don't think they are going to go extinct like some tigers might.
>>1502041By being a runner
>>1503488God I wish that were me
>>1501608They can be fooled
>>1501608Their coat is so beautiful.Infinitely nicer than a household cat or lion
As a trail runner I swear I'd outright quit if these guys were stalking my trails. IIRC if they see you running they just assume you're prey.
>>1503419not often you mean, try long enough it will happen life always finds a way.
>>1503418you sure are fun at parties
>>1501816Choke it out.
>>1501608I want to fuck it
>>1501663>>1502041It was an emaciated kitten. It was not 80 pounds, it was around 40. People were getting kg and lbs mixed up when the story came out. Pic related isn't very long after the 'attack', it's just superficial scratches and two small puncture wounds, he got around 30 stitches iirc. A pissed off housecat could have done worse. He weighs maybe 150lbs, even if the cat was just a small 70lb female, he would have been fucked
>>1504683What a pussy. He thinks he all cool and shit.
>>1504847Yeah, I could kill a bigger mountain lion than him I bet
>>1503967>with a single documented exceptionlife finds a way i fucking love jurassic park
>>1502049those are usually the ones that attack pets and people. cougars get set on their diet when they reach adulthood and no "man-eater" reaches adulthood.
>>1501615Had one in my yard couple years ago.
>>1502626Buy them wine, it's pretty much fuel for themAfter that there's no escape by backing up, they'll follow you
>>1503363Unless it's a big one and it bites off your arm when you try to choke it.
>>1501608>finally, I’ve been searching all day>here, kitty kitty...
>>1503419FalseFirst highly documented case of a Liger giving birth was at the new york zoo in 1942.Offspring is called a Liliger.Since then, almost all of the big cats have been crossed and the hybrids have been bred with curious names.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panthera_hybrid
>>1505489>Jagjagupard>LijagupardessThe second generation names get really retarded
>>1501827Don't run at it.>>1501846Don't run from it either. If you charge it, it will think you're being aggressive and might fight back. If you run, it will think you're prey and chase you. Cats are ambush predators, which means if you see it then it's probably not going to try to attack you unless you fuck up. Just steadily move away. Don't turn your back but also don't lock eyes.
>>1501608>blocks path*Lays down in fetal position, waiting for the fatal blow* :(
>>1504002They're making a comeback in ontario due to the high populations of moose and dear
>>1504146Says the man who is too insecure to intimidate a cougar >It can tell i'm a virgin!!!!!
Wild animal fatalities are rare in all of the lower 48. One should be educated and well armed in remote regions of Canada and Alaska, where animals are not used to any kind of human contact.Elsewhwere you are really more likely to fall off a cliff, get lost, or get struck by lightning.
>>1501608Just choke it out like the dude in colorado
>>1504847Based 70 iq poster
>>1506062It's not just Canada and Alaska (the problem there is mostly bears).California and the Pacific Northwest are becoming major problem areas because of rebounding population of cats combined with ever increasing numbers of joggers, hikers, and cyclists in the woods. Just wait until the idiots in California that want to reintroduce grizzlies get their way.
>>1506049no sane cat will mess with a moose
>>1506325No such thing as a sane or insane cat, just a hungry or not hungry one
*clears the path*
>>1502056This is pretty sage advice, always been my rule of thumb. Gotta admit though that kitty in the OP looks mad as hell.
>>1502041There is something an old ranger taught me called the shocker maneuver. You take your pointer and middle finger and point it outward, hold the ring finger down and then stick your pinky out like the first two digits. Then, take your hand and reach underneath the cat's tail. This works very well on females as the shock to both their anus and vagina in the middle of attack will disorient the beast. This also works on males but the anus finger gets used to penetrate the cat's urethra.
>>1501608Say if the mountain lion started coming on to you, how would you play it out?
>>1504960from the manga Shamo
>>1506820That's for cougars but it doesn't work on any felines.
Begone tree child. These are my lands.
>>1506062>where animals are not used to any kind of human contact.That's actually a good thing, better chances of them fucking off when you yell at them to stop being a nigger. If the animal see human's all the time, human's are never being a threat to them, they kinda start to look at them as a meat source later. In the last year I've seen a cougar on a main trail at least three times, this is in WA. They just look at you and slowly walk off into the bushes, I've read reports of people catching glimpse of the cougar trying to sneak around the person so they're behind them, that's usually associated with a pre attack.
>>1502626>2 Inward breath screech to make an ungodly alien noise that the cat had never heard beforeI dunno about this anon, it might just sound like the scream of preytry a deep, loud and aggressive shout... if you can
>>1501608*pull out .44 magnum*heh, nothing personal kiddo
>>1502041the "mountain lion" weighed like 25 pounds. the dude strangled a poor house cat because he was too onions to scare it off. subhuman desu
>>1501608You should scream JEFF at it over and over while walking backwards slowly, not breaking eye contact.
>>1501608I got followed by two mountain lions last fall while prospecting. They stayed back 100 yards, just out of sight. Big cats are no joke.
>>1501608That cat is fucking jacked
>>1508772were only the top predator because we have guns. prove me wrong.
>>1508626You don't fool me skin walker.
>>1508773Well, I'd go further and say that we're the top predator because we have the most developed brains which in turn makes us capable of technology like guns.
>>1501608fuck you, let's go
>>1508773What those other two guys said as well as being able to adapt to climates and food sources. I read somewhere that our adaptability is primarily what set us apart in the early days.
>>1505339People aren't made of plasticine you anime-addled fuckwit
>>1505996THAT CAT IS A BITCH ASS NIGGA TRYIN' TO SQUARE UP AND TAKE MY ASS 'FO. THAT DUMB ASS CAT GON FINNA KNOW WHO THE REAL KANG OF THE JUNGLE IZ N SHIEEET.
ITT: Pathetic greenpeace fuckwits attempt to pump up their favorite furry fantasy to be some absolute killing machine instead of the overgrown weasel it is. How are you self-denigrators so fucking retarded? Do you also think the cougar's going to access it's encyclopedic knowledge of teeth to determine you're a plant eater and attack if you open your mouth? I wouldn't be surprised.If you find yourself in the situation depicted by the OP you literally just stand there casually as if you couldn't give less of a shit and stare at it until it fucks off. Like all ambush predators they are risk-averse by nature and seek to exploit inattentiveness or obvious openings. THEY WILL NOT PLAY THE ODDS. THEY DO NOT HAVE PRIDE TO BE WOUNDED. THERE HAVE NEVER BEEN HOSPITALS FOR THEM TO FALL BACK ON.
>>1508858That and there isn't anything on the planet that can match our ability to learn habits/nature of the creatures around us and to drastically improve our odds over time no matter what we're facing.
>>1508878The point is, if you're unlucky enough to be stalked by one, you're probably also unlucky enough to not see it coming before it's biting your neck. Being risk-averse as you said, they're stealthy by nature. THAT is what is scary about them.
>take one strap of the backpack and put it in front to cover my organs and appear larger >arms stretched out, one foot slowly moving towards it >charge it with a roar trying to jab it in the balls
>>1508878so much triggering...no more screen time for you. go /out
>>1501608smoke 'em if you got 'em
>>1508888Those repeats. Cougars now must be fought off with being punched in the nuts.
>>1501608*blocks entire forest*If i'm going your coming with me.
>>1505489Fucking liggers man
Aim it and squeeze it
Is that thing on fucking steroids?
>>1501909This is easy to say until it happens to you. When I was 16 a huge rottweiler was charging at me. I knew I wasnt supposed to run but did anyway. Fight or flight. I guess i chose flight even though i knew i wasnt supposed to. It was a natural instinct that kicked in. My mom went full mama bear mode and beat the shit out of it while it was attacking me. Came flying in there, drop kicked it in the chest then kept on kicking it until it buggered off
>>1502626Hiss aggressively>scream The feline innately fears the reptile, but not prey-like yelps.
>>1504002>its called extinctlol no. There are tons of cougars on Vancouver Island.
>>1501608I can just image people of this age attempting to take a selfie with it.This is the world we live in now.This is what has become of humanity.
>>1509828this is why you never stand between a bear and her cub
>>1508771they were just shy and curiousif you see a mountain lion it doesn't want to eat you.
>>1502033that gif is the most frustrating thing ive seen all day
>>1502435skin walkers go where the fear is
>>1511099This. Maybe they were in heat and were looking for someone to mate with.
>>1501608The trick to fighting off any wild animal is sticking your arm down it's throat as far as you can.
>>1507133Guys I posted my favorite image in the world and no one said anything about it.
>not carrying a proper size knife or spear and engaging the cougar in the ancient rites of combat>there are people on /out/ who don't want to live and die /out/ and don't consider every predatory animal that may challenge them as a worthy foeall of you sniveling, revolting, nasty, low down cowardly repugnant casuals and any of you who managed to rise from the dregs of society far enough to attain a mate and, God forbid, produce offspring deserve to be holocausted
>>1501608*pulls out katana**teleports behind*heh, nothin personelle kid*dabs on*
>>1508773>he doesn't suplex mountain lions for funwhy even live?
>>1503418have you ever fallen on your car keys? It's fucking painful. And it's not like he needed them whilst out and about so a secure place like his bag is good enough for storage
>>1501608>shoots it in the face with 10mm G40Well that was easy
WOW!! A KOT!KIS KIS KIS
>>1502624Ha ha literally me
>>1502612Shit that sent chills down my spine. This is how /out/ does creepypastas.
>>1501846don't run and dont' turn your back!
>>1501654Better late than never. I finally got the joke and laughed. First I thought you meant the target lazer adjusted on a gun, to shoot the cat, than I got that you just wanted to play with the coguar like kids do with the pussy, and when she's carried away with the game you'll allure her to the edge of a cliff and make her fall to her death, as she was joyfully chasing the beam with her paws.
>>1513780“Oh jeepers! I might have to fight the most efficient predator in North America to the death with my bear hands, better pull out my camera and call it a good kitty!”>coasties were a mistake.
>>1513780poor thing had a giant tumor on her facebut again if you see them there is not going to be a fight
>>1513302Quality film anon
Why are there so many furries in this thread
>>1504683This dude lives in my town, he was running in a natural area where I swear I saw a big animal walking around about 150 feet away one night. The fucked thing is that this area is at the edge of town by the reservoir/ major tourist area. Colorado wildlife is not to be fucked with people
>>1501846Based and redpilled
>>1504683Kaufman? No one can stop a jewish merchant on his travels, not even a mountain lion, not when theres money to be made!
>>1502034>Barbed cocks >Sand paper vagina What the fuck, cats
>>1501608Fuckin' mirin'. Thank God we upright apes have guns.
>>1502324That's actually pretty fucking smart.Felines have long hunted primates. Many of us even have instincts against it as a result.People tell me my basement feels haunted, like eyes on the back of their head, and then I point out the cats hanging out in the shelves, watching their every movement.
>>1501608Hey /out/, I'm doing night spotted owl surveys solo for work this summer. I've been doing recon for the sites i'll be at because theyre pretty far out, and seen alotta bear/lion sign. how fucked am I and waht can I do to not turn into meow mix
>>1515176>At nightI'll always cherish your last post on /out/
>>1515176I assume you have to be quiet in order to not spook the owlz?
>>1508793This was the only redpilled response
>>1515016oy fucking vey I'll report you to the ADL and JIDF if you keep up this antisemitism
>>1503477>>1508626>>1508775>thinking you can kill a skinwalker with any old rifleWhen you try to shoot them your gun will jam, unless the bullets, action, and muzzle have been smeared with sacred ash from a Din'e healer's cedar-burned hearth. The gi'sh doesn't lie.
More like *blocks your path*Going camping for 5 days tomorrow in black bear, cougar, and wolf territory and I'm way more fucking scared of some dumbass sow and her cubs stumbling into my camp and skullfucking me to death because I happen to be there at the wrong time, than some over grown house cat that shits itself if you yell at it enough
>>1515369https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hURgA_BNSGchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jRTrRxamxQLuckily I haven't had any encounters with bears with cubs, nor within 200m or so.
>>1502035Jesus, you have machete wielding cougars in Missouri?
>>1508793yup many basedboys think humans only became top predators because of their brains and tool use, but the reality is we couldn't have evolved our cognitive abilities without being top predators in the first place.
>>1504683In his defense the media sensationalized it. When interviewed, he was really reserved about it.
>>1511106>not liking the Beaver Boys
>>1515640This is a fair point. He acted pretty humble, but every article had images much like OP's and a caption of >hiker slays the beast with his bare hands!
>>1515733Yea it brought tons of clicks for the clickjews. They know what they are doing and fuck even I fell for it. Still a cool story for him to have to tell.
>>1501608Pay my bar tab & call for cab.
>>1504330A high percentage of fatal mountain lion attacks just happen to be runners and mountain bikers, who are also usually unarmed. You may want to condsider a gun or suitably stabby knife so you at least have a better chance. Something you can carry in your fanny pack, or on it's own holster/sheath, I'd carry both.
>>1510486>taking selfiesTurning their backs in a cougar.Kek'ed.
>>1510486Nailed it anon. You nailed it right there.
>>1501608Welp, time to use my trusty billhook again.
>>1506325Incorrect. They will prey on young, elderly and sick moose.
Cougars are pussies.Behold the almighty Jaguar. This beast dwells deep in the amazon rain forest.Jaguars are the perfect killing machine.
>>1509896Yeah but mostly downtown
>>1502719fuck, thats a good plan, Anon!
>>1516801Tigers are the actual scariest predator, they sneak nearly as well as leopards while being larger and stronger than Lions. A jaguar has a more powerful bite, but they hunt a much narrower range of prey and generally hunt things much smaller than themselves. Tigers on the other hand routinely take prey their own size.
>>1516955>Yeah but mostly downtownThis is also true.
>>1517401Humans are actually the scariest of predators.
>>1517506If you count a mix of scavenging and hunting I'd say ants are probably scarier
>>1502739>>1502745Biological species concept isn't the only definition of species. Even then, it requires there to be frequent viable offspring in nature to make something the same species. Then there are "hybrid zones" and all other sorts of weird shit.
>>1508878you are right but also a gigantic faggot
>>1517920>tfw can't reproduce with anything with a vaginawon't stop me from trying though
>>1501816when it lunges at you just grab its legs with your hands and break them, then punch it in his stupid faceeasy
>>1505996This, never turn your fucking back.Too many vids on YT of people getting pounced the split second they turn their back on a cougar that looks like it's starting to walk away
>>1505608Based and Romanpilled
>>1501816Trigger the C4 you strapped to yourself before your outing.
>>1501654kittehs love pointers
>>1502657>hehe le predictable burger response of being able to defend yourself via firearmsyou are a fucking faggot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHlcg1axzmQ>4:00Just play some harmonica tunes.
>>1501615I even worry about bobcats knowing how strong/athletic a regular house cat is. It won't kill you but it could fuck you up.
I've had several wildlife encounters and honestly the thing that really frightened me the most were always feral dogs. Mangy, flea-ridden things with no owners, living in small packs in a slum or on the beach and shit. Sometimes they're docile and chill, but they can also be real mean nasty cunts. In first world countries you don't usually have to worry about this, but being /out/ in more exotic destinations, it's a concern. I once got cornered by a small pack of snarling feral dogs in India, coming up to the outskirts of some village. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-GejEr__Ew
>>1502180>>1502181don't they have sandpaper tongues
>>1509828When I was 19 a relatively large sheppard dog attacked me. I was somehow able to put my wits together, stick my left in its mouth, hold onto the jaw, and punch and slap the motherfucker on his nose and eyes with my right until he fucked off whining. My left wrist was hurting for a few days, but with no major wounds. I am pretty sure I could choke that dog if I wanted to.But when I was shot at (or rather warning shots were fired in my general direction) I just collapsed into a roadside ditch and crawled the fuck away. There was no rational thinking involved, my body just did it while the conscious part of my mind was just reverberating "fuck fuck fuck no no no".
>>1501608I grab my water gun and get him soaked
>>1502432That is seriously my fucking nightmare. Story?
While they exist in my state and I've come across tracks, they're super rare which explains why we have such a huge population of hogs. I'm honestly more worried about rattlesnakes.That being said, I always have my bow with me as well as a Bowie knife or machete, so I would (hopefully) hit it with an arrow. It's a 70 lb draw so it can take down just about anything and I'm a good shot, but I've never shot it while shitting myself before. Fucking murdercats.
>>1510486kek I can see the image now, some dudebro and his girl using a selfie stick while the murdercat is already in the air behind them about to fuck their shit up. That would be a hell of a photobomb.
>>1513780He actually handled that pretty well, albeit unintentionally. I would've thrown the camera at it when it got close enough though.
>>1517401>hunt things much smaller than themselves.I forget what show it was, but I saw a video of a jaguar attacking a fucking caiman/crocodile or some fuckhuge water demon. It may have been a leopard though, it's been a while since I've seen it so it's a little hazy.
>>1519657Yes, anon's going to lose his dick no matter what happens if he ever tries
>>1519724https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBNYwxDZ_pAIt was a jaguar attacking a caimanIt really depends on suprise, sometimes the big black caimans will take jaguars if they can get the drop on themSame with tigers and saltwater crocs
>>1519704I was chilling by my favorite lake in MT around sunrise reading a book. I was pretty engrossed in the book until I heard a flock of birds take off behind me. Instinctively got up and turned around and saw the signature long, bushy tail as it took off into the woods. It's possible it was just passing through, but either way it wasn't more than 20 yards away and I had no idea it was there.
>>1519706you're gonna die bow nigga
Here kitty kitty
>>1502224not all of us can afford an m1 garand.
>>1515213goodbye world, tonight is my first night. I hope those fuckers choke on me. >>1515183mostly
>>1520444You could just carry a Marlin 30-30 or even a mini-30
>>1501608Been there. A cougar wanted the boar I killed. you bet I let him have it.
>>1520444Get a Rossi lever action.
>>1502657murikan dont run. the fite bak
>>1521215can i get a greentext good anon?
>>1521441Or we tactically relocate.
>>1502657>be me, britbong>walking through the woodsies with me mum and nan>tallhill kitters is prowling about, trying to get to my pie that i filled with meat for some dumbass reason>kitters of the mountain springs and grabs my nan, proceeds to tear the fuck out her fanny>mum screeches some unintelligible tangle of english words mixed in with “pip” and “tippy-top cheerio”>starts hitting cat o’ the mountains with a purse filled with hob-nobs and digestives>mum is the next victim of the furry purr monster>i see the cat bite the shit out of me mums head >the PSI squirting from her thinkin’ bone is impressive>cat turns to me>its like the end of that shitty movie “the grey” with liam neeson>wish i had some sort of rooty-tooty-point-and-shooty to give me some advantages, kind of like when that 28 year old asian kid named Mussarma-Hadjihall Kahdir raped my 9y/o daughter on the trolley>but that gay shit is for AmErIcAnS>get eaten and sexually violated by a feline>gets captured on CCTV because my government needs to watch me at all times>goes viral on the internet>people crowd around their computers to watch that crazy new video of a british guy getting sexually mauled by a cougar while screaming “AT LEAST IM NOT AMERICAN”
>>1502745True fact: Legal trade in big cat parts (skins, skulls, claws and skeletons) is highly restricted. These rules do not apply to ligers and tigons since they’re hybrids.
>>1507133>>1513257Its a very cute bear bro
>>1519698>But when I was shot at (or rather warning shots were fired in my general direction) I just collapsed into a roadside ditch and crawled the fuck away. There was no rational thinking involved, my body just did it while the conscious part of my mind was just reverberating "fuck fuck fuck no no no".I always hated that shit being shown on movies/series thinking how stupid the person is for falling down instead of running, but fear really has a way of breaking a person down to his very core.
>>1501608That is a healthy cat.
>>1526044First, what a shit quality video.Second, I'd rather have a billion leopards on earth than a billion pakis. Poor thing is clearly lost and panicked.
>>1506820>Males don't have an anus
>>1502324That's in a particular region known for maneaters, and it only worked for a while.Eventually, workers started taking the masks off because they were getting in the way, and the tigers learned how to distinguish when they were looking at a mask and started killing again.
>>1508773We're actually top predator because we can throw.Nobody can throw like us, and it lets us become pretty much unbeatable in groups. Pelt a nigga with rocks, lance his ass, etc.That cat's a real badass until a 3 pound stone gets lobbed into his head at 20mph
>>1520444Get a job hippy.
>>1502719>squeeze trigger... nothing>Turn nozzle to proper flow position>forget to prime in advance do get fluid through>Primed>nozzle gets clogged from dirt of the day>clear with practiced high speed low drag nozzle jam drill>see animal >take aim>shoots self in eyes>never have to see own deathTake that /haveguns/
>>1501652You're not going to hear and see a cougar like you are a grizzly you mong.Just because it's bigger doesn't mean its inherently more dangerous.
>>1502657what the fuck are you going to do? ward off the enemy with your fucking unregistered butterknife?
nice natty? whats routine
Make way for the actual superior Cougar.
>>1515655one of the best skits they ever did. it's a shame tim's newer stuff isn't nearly as funny.
>>1528467Most grizzly attacks happen when someone surprises a sow with cubs-i.e., you don't see or hear her until it's too late.
>>1502657What are you going to do? Call the police
sing and dance. most animals get very confused when you sing and dance at them. typically they stare for a second and walk away. worst case scenario i go down giving my best rendition of whatever tears for fears song comes to my head.
>>1519419They are surprisingly intimidating when you run into them
>>1501654I keked but that wouldn't work. Big cats won't chase a laser pointer because they have nothing to gain from chasing something so small.
>>1501608Jesus look at the muscles on that thing.The only thing I can do at that point is to pray to the deities and hope he's not hungry.
>>1531290>Jesus look at the muscles on that thing.I have a bonner now
>>1502181YO LIL DONNIE
>>1501816I won't go to place were big cats or bears are without a good pepper spray or a gun.