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There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

"you never know what'll come in the mail on H&H Day" edition

Old thread: >>34938171

Ongoing greens:

Would I Lie To You? by Aftercase
https://pastebin.com/cbfSZRxC

Shape Your Home by PoneGreen
https://pastebin.com/XMi6VhS5 (Part 1)
https://pastebin.com/1TNqYU9f (Part 2)
https://pastebin.com/YTFaNLXp (Part 3)

Ace of Hearts and Hooves by Tsar Anon I
https://pastebin.com/abw5ccu5

A Heart Longs for Another by AnthonyC4
https://pastebin.com/11TXCVXJ

An Insightful Night Out by Tsar Anon I
https://pastebin.com/yKWp3z8B

Completed/on hiatus/ded greens:

Making Beginnings Meet by YukkuriPaleHorse
https://pastebin.com/VfPvCs8y

Rocks out of the Quarry: https://pastebin.com/aX2C686i

Stories by Tsar Anon: https://pastebin.com/BnjZqwM3

Stories by DGCT: https://pastebin.com/u/dontgooglecrotchtits

Stories by Crabs of Steam: https://pastebin.com/u/Crabs_of_steam

Minty's Careful Steps by YukkuriPaleHorse
https://pastebin.com/P2aD5GVa

Muted Heartbeat: https://pastebin.com/TPH2m6cU

The Sun Where You Belong: https://pastebin.com/WRUW1xQu

The Taming of the Harsh: https://pastebin.com/pVk0yjP7

The Broken Carousel (Part 1): https://pastebin.com/TJELn7vt
The Broken Carousel (Twilight Sparkle Interlude 1): https://pastebin.com/LvSPqhwG
The Broken Carousel (Part 2): https://pastebin.com/TBUr6F5f

Quest for the Forbidden Lover: https://pastebin.com/SRTzXyLm

Untitled /nmp/ green by Cosmic: https://pastebin.com/Xytb3xMC

Stories by Trandhal: https://pastebin.com/u/trandhal

This Heart That Fears: https://pastebin.com/0b7L24Ln

Violet Memory: https://pastebin.com/e9Ec1vd1

Tsukumogami:
https://pastebin.com/WPw3dNdP

Express Ticket to Tartarus
https://pastebin.com/KLNWHDkz

Low Self-Esteem Applejack
https://pastebin.com/x5FMfxc0

All I want from christmas
https://pastebin.com/XHH5UPCN

Couch Surfing
https://pastebin.com/82NscJdW

A collection of miscellaneous greens since the first thread.
https://pastebin.com/0JMPM6F8
>>
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Jumped the gun, dude. Old thread is still on page 1. At least wait until Page 8. Before making a new thread. This board is slow.
>>
Threadly reminder that mares belong to zebra stallions.
>>
Sumi when?
Or Violet Memory?
Or Daybreaker?
>>
>>34963984
which was the green where the mare was too full of spaghetti to let her match know that she was his match? what is the current state of it
>>
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>>34963948
Don't read this spoiler
Fork over another (You) or else your mare dies in her sleep tonight, lonely and clutching a pillow instead of you.
>>
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>>34964005
>”That is not very nice, Anon”
>”I’m afraid I’m going to have to take your kinoplex privileges away”
>”I told you last time that I wouldn’t allow you entering single again”
>”Speaking of, where is your marefriend, Anon?
>>
>>34963984
>Sumi when?
No idea, I personally don't remember any statements
>Violet Memory
Writefag is taking a break
>Daybreaker
Donte wanted to rewrite the last posted update and vanished without a trace, he still owes us a comfy story
>>34964002
This Heart That Fears? I think it's ded but I could be wrong.
>>
>>34964026
In Equestria
>>
>>34963984
Wait, I missed a Daybreaker green?
>>
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>Cadence tells me to touch the Crystal Heart in order to find my match
>Do so
>It just electrocutes me and shows nothing
A-at least I got to see Equestria...
>>
These are your husbando options, girls. Every single man falls into one of these sections.
>>
>>34964119
Wisdom here, it’s the only way to live without pain.
>>
>>34964119
I'd be Joy, but not basedboy joy. Everything turns to dust, we're all gonna die, but me and my damn cocktail of chemicals and shit up in my bone headcase is gonna get a lot of good-feeling chemicals before it expires. There's no reason to fear death, there's no reason to be a doomer; take joy in mere existence, in that you have conscience. The government's fucked, the world's fucked, horrible things happen every day, but you're here on this shitty planet of rock, piloting a meat suit using a bunch of electrical signals and shit so complex that you can type over the Internet and form language. Cute mares - mares, basically - happen to give me many, many happy brain chemicals, and so I love the mare. If there's an afterlife, I'll continue loving the mare. If there's not an afterlife, so be it. My meat has experienced the love and joy that pictures of mares has provided.
>>
>>34964005
>Threatening mares.
OVER THE LINE fukboi.
>>
>>34964119
Constant oscillation between Wisdom and Rage.
>>
>>34964119
Coomchad here.
>>
>>34963948
False, apecolts belong to big flanked zebra qwanz
>>
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>>34964119
I alternate between each of these every single week.
>>
>” It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” -Charles Darwin
>In the year 2025, a comet the size of Rhode Island slammed into the Earth
>Liberating a massive sulfide deposit, it plunged the planet into an abyssal ice age
>A fortunate few weathered the impact in enormous semi-underground fortresses called Strongholds
>Protected from the fire and quaking of impact and years long nuclear winter by strong concrete walls, the survivors waited generations for the sun to reemerge
>Sydney stronghold is where you grew up, but now, life in the stronghold is about to change...
>[New game]
>”I’m gonna do an Anon build, let’s see what skills he would use... Celestia, I wish he was here.”
>>
>>34964005
you absolute faggot of the worst possible kind
>>
If your soulmare turns out to be a filthy, introverted, socially reclusive NEET, would you:

A. Put in the effort to turn her life around, helping her get a job, help her get some friends, getting fit together etc. with the end result being a relatively normal, if quite nerdy, pony

B. Join her in the blissful abyss of fucked up sleep-schedules, monthly NEET-bux, fast-food, and doing nothing but reading comics, having really dirty desperate sex, and playing vidya together (or whatever they have over there)

C. Ask Cadance for a refund (bad ending)
>>
>>34964119
Absolute sorrow. If the world we see is really everything there is, then it simply isn't worth it. That being said, I keep on going in the hope for mares to be real.
>>
>>34964711
D. Respect that we are different beings with different interests and things we like, introduce her to a few of my hobbies like fitness and let her introduce me to some of hers, while respecting each other’s boundaries and accepting if the other doesn’t like a certain activity.
>>
>>34964711
>If your soulmare turns out to be a filthy, introverted, socially reclusive NEET, would you:
Well... Luna is already one, pretty much.
>>
>>34964711
I would like to keep her as she is, and turn that into my pet-wife mare as I pretend to be a normie and earn us the bits
>>
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>>34964005
Fuck you, try beating this
>>
>>34964726
This is the correct answer and I'm mad at myself for not including it in the post

You're a good man anon
>>
>>34964741
good dog
>>
>>34964633
How the fuck am I supposed to know how big is it? Why would anybody keep track of every turd swimming in a random lake?
>>
when you get your initiative invitation, will you try to let us know? what if it said not to mention your letter at all, would you try to drop hints for anons in need?
>>
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>>34964815
I'd give you guys a goodbye post
>>34964741
And then also make a meme to counter this one for lels
>>
>>34964815
Sorry Anon, I wouldn’t risk it as it could jeopardize my entry to Equestria, although I would leave a post about leaving the board for other reasons and wishing you luck on future endeavors.
>>
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>>34964864
>>34964815
>Guy posts in the thread saying he's found the love of his life and is leaving this thread for good.
>Actually does.
>>
>>34964711
Help her with socializing so she sees how friends enrich her life
I can attest from personal experience how needed a loyal tribe is and how hollow being isolated and distracted is
I wanna help her break free of maladaptive coping, not change her personality
>>
Anons, in all seriousness, do you honestly believe that there are mares you absolutely could not accept being matched with? A mare that you could not find your happiness with?
>>
>>34964893
Any mare, because I cannot find happiness within myself.
>>
>>34964893
Probably Nightmare Moon. But if I was matched with her I'd still accept it because there has to be a reason for it, maybe there's just some initial problems we need to overcome to be happy in the end. Sometimes you have to work for your happiness.
>>
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>>34964893
Absolutely, i'm no sloot that just wants A mare.
I want THE mare.
My Mare, just like i'm Her Man.
>>
>>34964893
Well, yes?
I would like to think that me and my mare friend would be special for each other, and that it wasn’t just chance just chance that we ended up together, that it couldn’t have been any other mare but her.
At the same time, mares in general are so much better than human women that it’s tempting to say no, because any of them would be an improvement to our current lives.
>>
>>34964914
>>34964924
I didn’t intend to make it sound like you and your mare were just thrown together because the Equestrians knew it would work out no matter who you paired with. The point was that we don’t know who we’ll be matched with with definitive knowledge, we have limited knowledge and bias, but the reality of things is that as far as we actually know it could be any mare, a mare that no one else would be as perfect a match for as you for reasons you might not even know yet
>>
>>34964953
Do you mean that if I would prematurely judge my mare based on first impressions, some of which I may very well dislike?
>>
>>34964893
Assuming we will not live with the ponies we are waifuing, like Celestia in my case, I think I could accept any mare as a potential matching partner, provided she is willing to try it too of course. Although some would be more of a challenge than others, especially when we add OCs from other timelines such as wasteland mares. Would I reject her if she turns out to be my true match? Of course not. Would I get nervous because she had a troubled backstory (such as Blackjack to name a prominent example)? Probably yes.
>>
>>34964960
I mean would you prematurely screech that she isn’t Glimmer
>>
>>34964953
>Double tsundere romance with everypony painfully aware of how much they want each other
>>
>>34965000
I hope it wouldnt hurt any mare’s feelings to know their husband waifu’d their neighbor
>>
>>34965025
Now that'd make for a good fuckin' story.
>>
>>34964999
No, I’d be incredibly happy that I didn’t get poochie trash.
>>
>>34965059
i didnt know you liked sunset that much
>>
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>>34964893
Glimshit. I'd rather get matched with an eldritch abomination or some corona-ridden Kirin.
>>
>>34965082
>corona-ridden kirin
>implying it's awful
>>
>>34965067
But Anon, she’s not canon, so I don’t even have to worry about that.
>>34965082
Pretty much.
>>
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>>34965087
I'm germophobic.
>>
>>34965108
Then I guess you’ll want to stay away from Applejack and Rainbow Dash
>>
>>34965189
Actually, lesbian sex is the cleanest sex, going by STD transmission.
>>
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>>34964005
FUCK YOU
>>
>>34964633

What's the most chad build in this nameless game? I'm thinking Dutch wooden shoes, open bathrobe, potato peeler and a shitload of drugs.
>>
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>he's under 6'
>still thinks a mare would love him
>>
>>34965208
Go to Claymore suburbs
You’ll find a house with the mummified old man and dog
In the bedroom safe, there’s a picture of Aussie soldiers in Port Moresby and a unique Lee Enfield Jungle Carbine and jungle helmet
>>
>>34965275
Based.
When will they learn?
>>
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>>34965275
Too real
>>
>>34963721
The love between a man and a consenting child
>>
>>34965411
Can fillies be matched to boys? They grow up, discover their first love in each other, and then get horse married.
>>
>>34965441
If the boy is a horsefucker, sure.
>>
What the fuck is a '
>>
>>34965441
Human man x human child is the purest form of love
>>
>>34965463
It’s an apostrophe
It is a bit like me
It’s just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see
I'm just a product of the system, a catastrophe
And yet a masterpiece, and yet I'm half-diseased
And when I am deceased
At least I go down to the grave and die happily
Leave the body and my soul to be a part of thee
I do what it takes
>>
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>>34965483
>human children
Absolutely disgusting, you’re a disgrace to this board
Give me fillies any day of the week, but not those no hooves shits
>>
Are the Libertarians here to argue why pedophilia is A-Okay?
>>
>>34965510
The government should give us loli gfs
>>
>>34965510
Name a single thing wrong with it
>>
>>34965566
Here we go.
Can we all just agree that human pedophilia is wrong, but ponies are not humans and if they’re mature enough it isn’t terribly wrong?
>>
>>34965592
No.
>>
>>34965000
>"Cadance, I don't see why Anon was dumped on my lap. I didn't even sign up for your Initiative."
>"It was of upmost importance, you were rather lonely if your friends recall correctly."
"It seems there was a mix up. Every time we meet, it ends in an argument and storming off."
>Incognito tuns to you "Anon, every time one of you goes somewhere, no matter how remote, the other seems to quickly 'stumble upon' the other"
>Cadance looks on smugly
"I cannot stand her presence for more than 5 minutes"
>"And I want nothing to do with him"
>"Then why did the both of you spend the night by the stream where I know you've build that small hut?" Babbling Brooks replies in a smug manner
>”THAT’S NOT BUCKING CANON!"
"THAT’S NOT FUCKING CANON!
>"I wouldn't miss him at all if he left!" she interjected
>"When Incog and him left for a survey trip, you started wearing Anon's still warm jacket?"
>"I did not!"
>"Then why are you wearing it right now?"
>She goes wide eyed

Also check em
>>
>>34964086
Not really.
It hadn't even gotten to the Daybreaker part when the writefag ghosted.
>>
How would you react if your marefriend wrote a terrible fanfic of you and her (OC) during her teenage years?
It was Equestria's equivalent of My immortal, horrid spelling and hilarious misinterpreted words and everything
>>
>>34966278
I’d love it of course
>>
>>34965510
pedo pill is only good for pissing off gays.
>>
>"She says there's an unhappy mare somewhere. Somewhere very far from here. But you'd make her happy."
>Cadance stares into the mass of crystals closely
>"Do you want to call her?"
"Should I?"
>"Do you?"
"I-I don't know."
>"Just pick one."
"Uh, yes?"
>"Is that a hard yes or a maybe yes?"
"Condense you're killin' me."
>"We'll call her."
>Nothing happens for a few seconds, until something happens
>A very loud whirr hurts your ears as a blue box fades into the room
>The crystal heart shudders and flashes a few strange colors
>The box's light on top flashes its own colors
>And then, nothing continued to happen
>Cadance pointed at the old phone booth, "Well?"
"Well what?"
>"Well, go talk to her."
"That's a phone booth."
>"Inside the phone booth!"
"But-"
>"Go!"
>You walk up to it and look to Cadance
"Do I just-"
>"Yes! Knock!"
>You go to knock, but the door pulls back as your hand moves, you end up bonking a mare on the head
>Smooth
>"What!" the brownish mare shouts, sounding a bit like Octavia, "What?! This isn't the angel gardens, where am I?!"
>The box looked like it was bigger on the inside, you look past the mare and there's a whole fucking room inside the phone booth
>Cadance walks up as well, looking at the mare, "Hi there, can we have a bit of your time?"
>"Time? I've got lots of that, now do you mind explaining how you hijacked my TARDIS' navigation systems?"
>"Ah, yes, that would be our very own Crystal Heart calling you here."
>"For what?" the mare asks, stepping away from her phone booth
>The door slams shut and locks behind her, from her shock the booth must've locked her out
>"In order to fix your lack of joy. You see, I do my best to bring star-crossed lovers together."
>The mare looks you up and down, then points a buzzing light of some kind at you
>"So your quantum supercomputer crystal thing over there hijacked my time machine from a universe away and brought me here for a blind date with your equally interdimensional alien here?"
>"Yes."
>>
>>34966335
>Ywn travel across time and space with Romana-mare
>>
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>>34964005
DUDE not cool!
>>
>>34966278
>find marefriend's awful fanfic
>she sees you reading it
>proceeds to chase you through the house trying to get it back
>start narrating it aloud
>mare starts shreeking trying to block the incoming memories of cringe
>>
>>34965082
>some corona-ridden Kirin
They live in the forest; it shouldn't be too hard for her to find a bush to relieve herself behind.
>>
>>34966382
“All of the suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and a huge nose flew towards me on a jetpack...”
>”GET BACK HERE WITH THAT!”
“...I hafvefe Kabbalah, he answered cruelly... then he flew away kvetching on his jetpack...”
>”I’M GONNA RIP YOU A NEW ONE!”
“...Shlurmo wasn’t there, instead, the fat tumblr who killed Incognito was, He/She was torturing Anon...”
>”I WAS A TEENAGE FILLY BACK THEN!”
“We started prenching, I gapsed looking at Moonman playing. I almost orgasmd.”
>”WHY DID I FORGET TO BURN THAT?!”
>>
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>>34963721
I can't lie to myself any longer. What am I going to do when my husbando sees me and realizes he got matched with an ugly pony? I wish I could just bang my head against a wall and fix my stupid long face.
>>
>>34964711
A, but not like that. The point isn't to try to change her; rather, to offer the support, love, and assurance to help her become the mare she wants to be; to help her makes the changes she already wants to make, but perhaps feels too incapable/weak/afraid to make on her own.
>>
>>34966335
i love it except for the part where she’ll respawn as an old ass man, have fun explaining to the guys back in ponyville how you were all over that the other day
>>
>>34964005
Eat shit and die.

>>34964119
I go between all of these over the course of a week like this guy said. >>34964577

I realize our civilization is at the end of it's lifespan, read Oswald Spangler on this subject. I'm looking forward to the collapse because it will give us the chance to build something better. Corona chan is the perfect black swan for this. A virus can't be bought off, reasoned with, or intimidated. I'm excited for what comes next. >>34965108 Rarity has the right idea.


>>34964879
To think, we told off some guy last year for saying exactly this. Told him he was making a mistake and would come crawling back to us. Maybe he just said he was with a human woman to cover for himself. Nobody would want to miss their chance at life in paradise just to brag about it here.

>>34965742
>>34966335
>>34966382
>>34966431
I like cute little shorts like these. Most of the stories here tend to be super long and involved. I like all of them, and always look forward to updates, but shorts can be quite enjoyable.

>>34966222
The suffering of Cadence because reasons was pretty controversial when it was originally posted. The relationship between Anon and Daybreaker was always the end goal of the story, so ending it with separating Daybreaker from Celestia makes sense. Personally I think the author didn't know where to take the story from there, so he just sort of ended it. Sort of like how Sumi's story was about the long process of bringing her and anon together. Once anon meets her and they accept each other despite their own disabilities the story has come full circle. The author of Sumi's story set things up to go on longer with Sumi entering an art contest but again he didn't really know where to take the story from there.
>>
>>34964893
Only one. If I got matched with the fat acceptance mascot from the Canterlot Boutique episode in season 5 I'd do a flip. Getting matched with this land whale would be worse then being stuck with Yona or another one of the forced diversity inserts.

>>34966798
She's pretty cute in a mousy sort of way.
>>
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>>34966798
I'd give everything to be with a mare like that, especially with a mare like that.
>>
>>34967126
>Whoa Nelly has a genetic quirk that puts away whatever she eats into fat and refuses to touch those reserves until the genuine debilitation starvation sets in
>even then her metabolism only takes the bare minimum to function
>she literally has to lie in bed fasting for weeks, too weak to do much of anything in order to start looking like an ordinary pony
>even then all of the suffering effort is undone in a short order as even below necessary daily nutrient intake makes her start getting fat

She is destined to suffer of no fault of her own, and every time she looks at her mark shes reminded of that fact.
>>
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>>34967126
>>
>>34967112
>To think, we told off some guy last year for saying exactly this. Told him he was making a mistake and would come crawling back to us. Maybe he just said he was with a human woman to cover for himself. Nobody would want to miss their chance at life in paradise just to brag about it here.
IIRC he stuck around and argued about it, about how she was different from other women and how we were wrong about thots.
Considering we're all anonymous, there's no reason he couldn't have just stopped posting and nobody would've noticed.
He probably genuinely strayed from the path.
>>
>>34967625
>>34967637
> only consuming food during fellatio keeps her lively and at normal weight
>>
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Here's your mare, bro.
>>
>>34967876
What a cute mare!
>>
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>>34967876
I will cherish her until the end of our days. God help anyone who interferes.
>>
>>34967876
Stupid, ugly, disgusting poochie trash.
>>
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>>34967876
Mare!
>>
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>>34967876
Cadance, I want a refund.
>>
>>34967876
I'll get waifu insurance, and then POISON HER!
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!
>>
>>34967843
>He probably genuinely strayed from the path.
We can't make him stay true to mares. If he found himself a thot, so be it. He'll see what he'll get soonder or later.

>>34967876
A mare's a mare. Starlight is fine.
>>
>>34967963
>A mare's a mare. Starlight is fine.
So you’d be fine with any mare? That’s very hurtful to the one special mare who husbandos you, Anon.
>>
>>34967985
You misunderstand, Anon. I didn't mean I'd chase after every mare I see. Based on the premise in the scenario which >>34967876 stated, Starlight would have been chosen to be my match. And naturally I wouldn't reject her if that were the case. She's a mare after all. That's what I meant.
>>
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>>34967846
>when she stops mid-blowie for a hayburger
Thanks, I hate it.
>>
>>34968346
Thanks, you ruined it
>>
>>34967876
I can legitimately see her being my 'one' with a few characters tweaks but there would have to be drastic shifts from the canon universe to facilitiate it.
That's the main thing a few people sometimes dont get ITT, the canon universe with those characters isnt nessesarily the one you'd end up in.
Maybe you end up in a universe where discord was never unstoned.
Or one where Twilight never got wings.
Maybe Sombra wasnt obliterated and was rehabilitated from his dark magic abuse.
Maybe in another Shining armor was born as Gleaming shield and one guy gets matched with Cadence.
Maybe in one universe Cadence is evil and the princess of >rape.
Multiple universes are fun like that, possibilities are practically endless.
Best you can do is take canon as a rough guide but be open to the idea that the things you 'know' are wrong.
>>
>>34964577
based schizo
>>
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>>34967876
>stealing my bro sunburst's hoe
Yeah,neah
>>
>>34968436
>We don't know what our Equestria will look like
That's both exciting and scary.
>>
>>34966278
>My immortal
Is this that movie where Horus possesses some guy in future city so he can fuck a girl and have a child/rebirth himself?
The one that ends with girl giving birth to human-raven(or some other bird) twins?
>>
>>34968926
it's the Doctor Who fanfic that 50 Shades of Gray was based on
>>
>>34968926
Have I got a story for YOU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffh7cWRrqF4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d68b659E4F4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6EPWjzVflE

Literally the only way it's enjoyable is if there's someone taking the piss out of it.
>>
>>34968975
>Her middle name is Dementia
yknow this explains a lot
>>
>>34968975
>You reenact her fanfic verbatim
>Her outfits are glued together from a bargain bin
>You had a /k/ommando buddy on Earth smuggle some of your guns and a fuck load of blanks
>Makeup looks like a foal drew on your faces
>The whole thing is fucking ridiculous
>The movie makes it out in late night showings in theaters
>The box office explodes
>Luna has to step in when so many sides were sent into orbit, equus had a new ring system
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>>34969057
>your mare doesn't leave the house for a week
>doesn't even leave the blanket fort in the bedroom for five days out of that
>the only way out of the doghouse for you is to share your own dark history
could you do it? could you show mare the reproductions of your darkest, most secret fanfiction scribbles of your tweenage years?
>>
>>34969073
She’s the lead actress
She knew about it the whole time and agreed to it
You even made an unedited version where some line would make you all burst out and laugh
All was done with a willing cast
>>
>>34969073
Also my shit would be Capeshit guardians of the galaxy tier shit fortunately none were recorded
>>
>>34969178
but why would you show it off outside your house?
I can understand doing it just for the two of you as an inside joke, but...
>>
>>34968975
I only watched the first part and holy fucking shit I love this comedy gold.

This whole 'video adaptation of a shitty grammatically unsound fanfic' stuff reminds me a of Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yHguvYYyQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NiCYPrAoB8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULWgEnnmcv4
>>
>>34969209

>full life consequences
>unsound fanfic
How dare you insult this literary classic
>>
do you guys accept femanon X stallion (or mare) as well
>>
>>34969242
>femanon x mare
Yes. It's right there in the OP: Man and mare. Man and stallion is *not* allowed, though. Hope this helps!
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>>34969242
Generally no, as it's "man and mare."
There was a "woman and stallion" thread that died almost instantly a while back, though.
>>
>>34969242
what did stallions ever do to you that you want to inflict thots on them
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>>34969242
If she’s as pure and loyal as a man needs to be to have his own mare (extremely rare but mathematically possible) then yes, she deserves a waifu/husbando too
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>>34969266
Oh please, human females aren't inherently bad.
I understand if you're wary from bad experiences, but consider that some of the stallions we speak of might adore human females much in the way you all adore mares.
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>>34969276
I would never let such a curse upon stallionbros
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>>34969276
>Oh please, human females aren't inherently bad.
They actually are.
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>>34969321
Put yourself in their shoes, say for example you waifud Moondancer, some stallions would say “But that mare barely comes out of her house! She boring to be around and she stinks! What do you even see in her, Anon? I won’t allow you to be with her!” While you can look over that and love her for who she is, maybe even see those things as positives.
And so too can a stallion waifu a good human female, however rare they may be, and you should let them achieve their happiness.
>>
>>34969339
I would simply show them in their natural habitat
“THIS is why I didn’t let you near those women Butterscotch, they’re basically pitcher plants waiting for their prey”
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>>34969339
Anon, let's be real, the reaction to Moondancer getting a husbando, even a mail-order one, would be "good for her, now maybe she'll come outside more often", not "I think that mare is shit so you don't get to love her because I say so."
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>>34969242
I'm willing to bet that there exists currently, or through history at some point in time, at least one good woman devoid of thottery and of pure heart.
Mathematically it's a certainty.
In any case, if it would make the stallion happy and increase the total love in the universe I don't see why the stallion doesn't deserve to meet his match if she is indeed his match.
>>
>Be Jack
>You sit across the table from Forest chewing through your late breakfast.
>The inn is very quiet, you two are the only guests in the bar area at the moment.
>Forest is currently in disguise in her pony form, a red blush still marks across her cheeks and muzzle while she pokes at her food silently.
>You couldn’t stand the awkwardness between you both, so you decide to speak up.
“So, uh, Luna visited me in my dreams last night.”
>That got the changelings attention as she looks up from her plate, “Really? What did she say?”
“Nothing much, she wanted to know why we didn’t report to Glow.”
>”Ah right, forgot about that. We should speak to her. ”
“Maybe.” You look round to see the bat pony walking towards you, “Talk of the devil.”
>”Jack, Forest.” Crescent Glow says before a fanged yawn. “I’m hoping that today-“ She yawns again, “be much better, had Luna chewing my flank all morning.”
“Sorry about that Glow, we got-“
>”Ponynapped yeah. I know. Had Luna update me on everything.” Glow sits down at the table and pulls some paperwork out of her saddle bags. “Right, we need to act quickly, as we all know there is something going on at the dam. Our intelligence says multiple humans who work at the damn did not come home last night.”
>”My guess they’re already in pods.” Forest chimes in.
>>
>>34969339
>a good human female
[citation needed]
>>
>>34969405
>”We suspect as well.” Glow replies. “We’ve gotten a small team together to raid the lower dam’s control rooms. From the information you gave us we believe there is a hive outpost due to the number of changelings sighted.”
“What do you need us to do? Where not exactly fighters.”
>”No, you’re not, your more disposable than that Jack.” Glow winks at you. “Besides you mission is simple, locate their main base of operations and use this to notify us of the location,” She slides a gem onto the table.
You pick up the blue gem and inspect it, it square in shape but you can see something swirling inside of it. “What is it?”
>”Locater gem, break it and it’ll send a magical pulse.”
“So, we get in, find the main operations inside the dam and brake this?”
>”Correct.” Crescent Glow affirms.
“Why can’t you just raid the place?”
>”We could but we will be easily swarmed. Going in blind will be a disaster.”
“And me and forest wouldn’t!?”
>”You escaped without being seen, you can sneak back in.”
“When do we start?”
>”Now, these changelings seem to operate with their plans at night. I’m guess they are gathering love during the day.”
“Alright let’s go.”

>You and Forest make it to the dams fire exit with a small team of Thestral guards.
>The Thestrals are all are wearing their black armour and carrying spears, they make a small base camp in one of the rooms inside the dam.
> Crescent Glow speaks up. “Alright troops listen up.” She whispers as everyone gathers round. “We are not here for a prolonged fight. We get it find the outpost find the humans and get out. Is that clear?”
>”Yes ma’am” Her soldiers reply in unison.
>Glow turns to you and Forest. “I’ll go through the plan again, find the outpost and break the gem, hide it and get out. My team will handle the rest.”
>You both nod.
>”Good off you go.” She motions to the door with her leathery wing.
>>
>>34969381
>good for her, now maybe she'll come outside more often
I would hope people here would feel the same way about a depressed female neet with mental and/or physical disabilities, having a stallion to care for them because they want to would be good for them.
>>
>>34969411
>You and Forest creep back down the stairs into the lower corridors, you check around every corner for any changeling on patrol, you’ve been lucky so far as none has been seen.
>”I’m not sure about this Jack.” Forest whispers.
“Why?”
>”There was a patrol here last night.” She looks around. “Changelings don’t change their patrols on a whim.”
“Maybe the guards somewhere else.”
>”Maybe, but this is an entrance, those changelings should know about it and place more guards.”
“I did wonder that last night.”
>”I’m not liking this at all.” Forest replies sounding unsure.
>You both continue to sneak through the maintenance corridor and down another flight of stares into the main engineering floor. Once again, the floor is devoid of guards. Both of you hear the rushing of water from down below.
>”Is that normal?”
“We are in a dam.”
>”Yeah but the water wasn’t flowing out on the outside.”
“Good point, maybe it’s being drained somewhere else.”
>You both weave around dozens of pipes and valves to make it to the stairs on the other side.
>Once again you quietly descend the stairs in. You point at the sign for Forest to read for you as it’s in Equestrian.
>”Says main control room. Level four.”
>You nod and enter along an iron grated catwalk that looks upon a massive room below. You see massive pipe that open into a reservoir that’s starting to overflow as the main gate for the water to escape is closed.
>You spot human dam workers continue to work mindlessly as if nothing is wrong. You are no dam expert but a flood in the main control room is bad news.
“What’s wrong with them?” You ask, watching a worker open a valve causing more water to rush into the reservoir.
>”Mind control!” Forest almost breaks her whisper. “Look at their faces.”
>You look at their faces, they are completely devoid of emotion, walking around like mindless drones.
“That’s messed up,” You mutter, “Can’t we break them out of it?”
>”A counter spell should do it.”
“Can you?”
>>
>>34969423
>Forest shakes her head. “No, I can’t, us changelings are very limited when it comes to magic.”
“Shit, okay.” You continue watching the workers down below, the water is now lapping at their ankles. “We’re going to have to open that main gate.”
>”Shall we break that gem thing?”
“Glow said to only use it for finding their main outpost. I haven’t seen any so far.”
>”I know, but flooding the dam is urgent Jack.”
“Fine,” You pull out the gem from you pocket and break it, “There, done.”
>You tuck the gem under the rail of the catwalk.
>”So now what?”
“I guess we leave.”

>A massive rumble shakes the entire floor, the catwalk clanks and rattles. More water burst in from every pipe filling the lower floor.
“Fuck!”
>”That wasn’t a locator Jack!”
“Don’t you think I know that!” You snap back.
>You sprint along the catwalk and down the stairs. You wade through the now knee height water.
>Forest changes back to her changeling form and hovers above the water.
>”What are you doing!”
“Saving them!”
>”There’s nothing we can do; they won’t listen to you!”
“I have to do something! I can’t leave them here to drown!”
>”Open the main gate!”
>You nod and look around for the controls for the gate.
“I can’t see any control panels or anything!”
>”The emergency gate crank! Over there beneath the sign!”
You push through the rising water. “Forest try and get the workers upstairs!”
>”How?”
“I don’t know, do something!”
>You grab the crank and pull; it creaks then locks. You spot green goo within the gears. Cursing, you dig your fingers into the mechanism to try and pull it out.
>>
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>>34969339
>some stallions would say “But that mare barely comes out of her house! She boring to be around and she stinks! What do you even see in her, Anon? I won’t allow you to be with her!”
It's fucking hilarious that this is the worst you can come up with for a mare.
>"Boring and stinky."
Do i even need to give any sort of examples of the kind of shit that modern women can and will do or are we just going to leave i there.
I dont care about human women, only mares.

>>34969404
>Mathematically it's a certainty.
Not really.
There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1, but none of them will ever be 2.
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>>34969242
Earth needs any good women that hypothetically exist more than Equestria does; EQ already has a surplus of mares, after all, not to mention zebras, griffons, etc. for any stallion who wants something more exotic.
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>>34969404
>through history at some point in time
she married Teddy Roosevelt and died before he did.
>>34969415
The main problem is that this isn't the place for such stories. we're pretty solidly Man and Mare.
Not Man-who-becomes-stallion and Mare, not Woman and stallion, not woman and mare.
Just man and mare. I know you're shitposting but come on.
>>
>>34969428

>Forest flies over to the workers and shout at them to leave. One grunts and grabs a spanner and swipes at her. She darts out of the way as the others give chase.
>”Found a way Jack!” She yells quickly flying past you with an angry mob of workers shrinking behind her.
>You stay motionless until they all pass, you let out the breath you didn’t know where holding and continue to pull out the goo.
>The water is now past your hips; you can feel the shivering cold starting to ache your leg muscles. You desperately pull the crank again, this time it pulls free and the main gate creaks loudly.
>As more water floods in it becomes harder to pull. You strain to move the crank but surely it continues to move as the main gate opens a few inches letting a trickle of water out.
>You feel your soaking jacket and t-shirt stick to your skin; the level is now rising past your chest. Breathing has become laboured as you feel your chest tighten due to the pressure of the freezing water.
>You grit your teeth trying to stave off your shivering as you cranked again. No use, the crank is now under water, and you can no longer budge it.
>”Jack!” You hear Forest call out.
“Forest! A little help here!”
>The changeling splashes down into the water and paddles over to you.
>You both take a deep breath and plunge underwater and together pull the crank.
>It creaks and groans and it turns, you can hear the water rushing.
>Trying to ignore your body telling surface for air you pull it one more time.
>It slips round, and the flooded floor becomes a rip tide taking you and Forest with it.
>You flail around trying to find something to grab on to stop you slipping out the main gate, your head dips in and out of the rushing water as you gasp for air.
>Eventually you feel yourself falling among the water.
>You scream as you plunge through the air only to be cut short by the feeling of hooves under your arms.
>>
bruh
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>>34969441
>”Jack! I can’t hold you!” You her Forest as she buzzes her wings as hard as she can “My wings are wet.”
>She tries as much as possible to slow your decent into the river below, all you could do is watch the water surface grow beneath you. You brace for impact.

>You couldn’t remember blacking out, but you find yourself underneath the water being carried away by the rives current. You break the surface gasping.
“Forest!” You call out.
>You frantically search for her in the river.
“Forest!” You start to panic.
>You eyes land on a black mass floating in the river, it’s Forest. Her wings are torn and she’s face down the water.
>You swim towards her and scoop her under your arm. Doing a half doggy paddle, you swim to the snowy riverbank.
>You heave your friend onto the bank and pull yourself up. Ignoring your shivering you roll her onto her back and push down on her chest.
“Forest! Come on!” You desperately push the water from her lungs.
>Nothing.
“Forest! No, please!” You turn her head to the side and push harder again.
>Still nothing.
_______________________

And I'll leave it here.
https://pastebin.com/cbfSZRxC
>>
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>>34969451
>And I'll leave it here.
Well fuck you too.
Good shit, enjoying this.
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>>34969451
>bats likely got replaced by bugs
RIP, it was a setup
Probably pretty easy to kidnap a drunk.
Also one of those breaks early on wasn't like the others.
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>>34969437
>It's fucking hilarious that this is the worst you can come up with for a mare.
Obviously I was trying to come up with a sillier example while remaining in universe that wouldn’t make the stallion seem like an ass or delve into headcanon, a female villain would be a better example I guess.
>Do i even need to give any sort of examples of the kind of shit that modern women can and will do or are we just going to leave i there.
But we aren’t talking about shitty women, we are talking about a hypothetical good woman, certainly not all women deserve a husbando, just like not all men deserve a waifu.
>>34969439
>The main problem is that this isn't the place for such stories. we're pretty solidly Man and Mare.
Not Man-who-becomes-stallion and Mare, not Woman and stallion, not woman and mare.
Fair enough, but I think a woman and stallion story is interesting enough to be posted once in a while, while obviously not having the staying power for its own thread, I’m not trying to shitpost, but the few femanon in Equestria greens I’ve seen put an interesting spin on the usual storytelling, and if that anon was asking if we accepted femanon x stallion, maybe he was intending on writing a green on the topic while having love at heart, and if it’s believable an well written, I’d like to see it.
>>
How are mares so cute bros? I've spent the last hour just looking at pictures of mares being adorable and it never gets old.
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>>34969907
Literally perfect beings.
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>>34969907

Kerfuffle is top cute. Even among mares, she's one of the most adorable things to exist.
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>>34969922
imagine if your wife knew you said that
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>>34969907
Man, getting a cripple for a waifu would suck. At least Kerfuffle is only missing a leg and not deaf, blind, or brain-damaged.
>>
>>34969938
>>Deaf
>Grannysmithfags
>>blind
>Snowdropfags
>>brain damaged
>derpyfags
You take that back right now, all of these faggots love their waifus very much despite everything
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>>34969947
>despite
or maybe, because of everything. disability fetishfags
>>
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>>34969992
Fuck you, Derpy is the purest and the fact you think I love her for anything but her personality is heresy
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>>34969992
you're not being the person your waifu knows you can be.
>>
>>34970052
>>34970023
>implying a tard would make a good wife or mother
Derpy is cute and all, but not fit for such things.
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>>34970103
She's just clumsy, blasphemer.
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>>34963721
>There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

BULLSHIT!!!
The State of Wisconsin forces me to attend monthly shrink visits, gave me a $2,500 fine, five years probation and an ankle monitor PLUS they call me deviant and I'll have to register as a sex offender when the probation is over! All because I tried to show my love to a a mare! ME, a MAN, showing love to a MARE, and THEY CALLED IT ILLEGAL.

FUCK. YOU.
>>
>>34970103
y'all can fuck off with that
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>>34970103
>Derpy is cute and all, but not fit for such things.

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ILL OF THE DERPY. GUARDS! EXECUTE HIM AT ONCE!!
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>>34970103
bestmom
>>
>>34970248
bestguard reporting for duty
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>>34970222
>>34970263
>racemixing single mom
>good
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She's checking the preparation to arrival checklist
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>>34970268
*Tribe mixing*
The 3 tribes are closely related to each other as one species, much like the 6 tribes of the Irioqous confederacy as they were 6 tribes of one ethnic group, which is fine
zebra-pony or kirin-pony would be race mixing
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>>34970277
Still wrong and degenerate regardless what word you use for it. Hybrids between the pony "tribes" would lack the strengths of their parent's races and be inferior, therefore such half-breeding should be discouraged. Unicorns for unicorns, earth ponies for earth ponies, and pegasi for pegasi!
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>>34970300
Where do men fit into that?
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>>34970300
this is how you get incest
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>>34970346
>have only 1 million potential ponies to marry instead of 3 million
>therefore incest
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>>34970364
where did you get those numbers? i’d be surprised if they half that of earth ponies, and ponies aren’t generally the type to travel.
>>
>>34970378
Numbers I made up, the point is that it's only a factor of 3. The point still stands whether 10 million : 30 million or 10k : 30k. It's not as if you're narrowing your options that much.
>i’d be surprised if they half that of earth ponies
What?
>ponies aren’t generally the type to travel
Proofs? I'm sure a pone would travel if they had a good reason to (such as finding a spouse).
>>
>>34970419
>I'm sure a pone would travel if they had a good reason to (such as finding a spouse).
gee you’ve got a point, why the fuck are we even here if a mare could just move to another state and find a stallion to settle down with? oh right, not enough in the population.
>Proofs
Twilight’s parents, Pinkie’s parents, the cake family, every character that has stayed in the same town throughout the entire series, which is all of them. Trixie is an exception and a bitch. If it weren’t for the crystal empire sprouting up i bet SA and Cadance would be right in canterlot with his family, and the family tree of royalty always has a few overlapping branches. Hell, if it weren’t for the school of friendship and all following students, Twilight’s absorption of Glimmy, and Cranky Doodle having had enough of the moving, I doubt there’d be any kind of change in the ponyville populace. Using ponyville as an example, sooner rather than later they’d be needing to be blood tested before marriage could be permitted, and there aren’t that many foals around to keep things new
>>
>>34970531
You know, outside the occssional vacation (which we have seen them take), most people live the same place their entire lives. That doesn't mean they never travel.
>>
>>34970648
sure, but then how do they establish a family? one of them will have to move, and we would be looking at a very specific demographic if we’re looking for same tribe, willing to move and they fall in love with the pony who is on ‘vacation’. Unless youre suggesting they have a quick fuck and the mare must bear the foal herself, but you couldnt possibly be saying that, right? because the anon i replied to seemed to be looking at this as if it were purely a numbers game without taking into account the logistics of real lives
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>>34964005
I DIDN'T LISTEN AAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>34964711
The filthy part definitively gonna need some change, forced baths if needed.
Everything else if fine, if that's how she want to live.
Then again, pretty sure you would never be paired with someone that's completely out of your tolerances anyway.
>>
>>34969242
I wouldn't wish human women on anyone, especially not stallionbros. Pic related.

>>34969451
A nice update. Looks like Jack and Forest were set up by changelings who had taken the place of the guards. The fact that the two of them were alone in the inn is a nice bit of foreshadowing, the changelings had already kidnapped everyone there. Not sure why they would go back to the inn considering that's the first place the changelings would be looking for them. If only Glow had made a password that only the three of them would know to prevent this kind of deception. Seems like the easiest way to thwart replacements like this.
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>>34970806
ah, been awhile since i’d seen that cap. good lookin out anon
>>
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>Mare makes you both a delicious breakfast.
>>
>>34969242
Hell no. Take this crap out and never come back.
>>
i hope you miserable fags will be able to pick up the slack once you’ve screeched out every capable creator, for both your own sake and the rest of the board. cant have your autism spilling
>>
>>34970842
What do you mean?
>>
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>>34970833
Celestia and her pancakes truly are a blessing. My heart skipped a beat when I first saw it.
>>
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>>34967876
Oof. Yikes, I should have known that letter was a scam.
>>
>>34964119
Hate being doom and rage could have changed if I tried
>>
>>34970770
>forced baths if needed
nice
>>
>>34970531
>gee you’ve got a point, why the fuck are we even here if a mare could just move to another state and find a stallion to settle down with? oh right, not enough in the population.
>shifting the goalposts
My point is that IF there were enough stallions among all three tribes then were would certainly be enough in each individual tribe.
>which is all of them
Yes, because the show writers didn't like changing the status quo when it came to actual characters. We don't know much of anything about the lives of background ponies. And anyway, Pinkie and Maud both moved away from the rock farm, Dash and Fluttershy both moved out from Cloudsdale, and Twilight moved from Canterlot (though only because of Celestia, I admit). This supports the idea that ponies tend to move to another town when they leave their parents, which would solve the problem completely.
>ponyville
You seem to be implying that there are only a few dozen ponies of each kind in ponyville, and that barely any new ponies ever move there, in which case there will be incest eventually no matter whether the pony tribes interbreed or not. I just think your assumptions are wrong. Perhaps pony soulmates are usually born as the same tribe anyway? It seems more logistically sound.
>>
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>>34970833
>>34970859
Imagine all the hair and fur that gets accidentally added to the food made by ponies
Its not like you can make them wear one big body sized hair net
>>
>>34971731
That way you will always have a part of her inside of you
>>
>>34971731
You wouldn't want to taste your mare's coat added with glorious pancake and syrup? What are you, gay?
>>
>>34971731

>all-body hair net
that's kinda hot
>>
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bbat ponimare
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>>34972018
bats are sub-ponies. They are on the same tier as griffons, dragons, yaks, and other trash, and as such don't get husbandos.
>>
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>>34972222
>.t soulless chinaman so salty over the fact he got turned down by his bat waifu that he's blaming a deadly disease outbreak on eating out her pussy.
>>
>>34972222
>quads
Welp,that confirms it,folks
Batpones are trash
>>
>>34972222
Man, a got set of quads died for this shitty post. Be ashamed of yourself.
>>
>>34972222
Based quads speak the truth. Batponies are nothing but meme OCs by kids who think they're too cool for ponies.
>>
>>34972222
>a batPONY mare is not a mare because I said so
Take it somewhere else, and your wasted quads with you.
>>
>>34972222
I would accept "batponies aren't real", but "batponies aren't ponies" is just stupid.
>>
>>34972222
Based
Fuck batponies they're UGLY and STINK
>>
>>34964119
>one good meme, and #2-7 are Reddit remixes of a 4chan meme
A for effort, F for using Reddit memes.
>>
>>34970103
Lazy eye isn't retardation, retard.
Though, true. Retardation makes for poor partners and parents.
>>
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Zephyr Breeze is about to ask out Femanon, convince him otherwise with an anecdote from your own life. Or don't, some lessons are better learned the hard way.
>>
>>34972969
Calmly tell him that my door is always open and wish him luck.
>>
Some men do not deserve mares.
>>
>>34970103
You can fuck off and eat a bag of dicks.

>>34972222
And so can you.
>>
>>34973307
Elaborate who and why.
>>
>>34973327
Liberals, because there so salty about us finally getting the country back on the right track after dominating the political discourse for 80 years.
>>
>>34973342
>us finally getting the country back on the right track
[citation needed]
>>
>>34972018
Uh oh...mangooo
>>
>>34973342
>This is it, you're almost there. Just the final interview before you finally get to meet your mare.
>Your interviewer, a mare by the name Hopeful Passage, has been cheerful throughout the entire process.
>You've been nailing this interview. You're time spent hopping retail jobs has served you well.
>"And it says here that you are an ardent supporter for a... Donald J. Trump? Is this correct?"
"Correct. MAGA!!"
>She looks up from her papers and her face hardens as she continues on.
>"Sir, are you sure this is correct?"
>Oblivious to her drastic change in body language you go on.
"Positive. All he does is win, win, win. Best on job performance, he kept terrorists out, and he wasn't a pussy like those eurotrash."
>Hopeful raises an eyebrow, "And you are aware of his comments towards others?"
"Yeah, he makes those dumbass libtards so mad. It's hilarious, you see, he tells it like it is. Noone does that! And anything the FAKE NEWS media says about him is wrong. That impeachment trial was a sham!"
>"It sure was..." she mutters while turning towards a file cabinet.
>You bet she's a fan too. Everyone, except those dumbass libtards, loves God-emperor Trump.
>Hopeful returns and lays out some new papers on the desk.
"I see... unfortunately mister Anonymous, but it appears there is no match for you."
>This is going greeeeeaaa-
"What?!"
>"We did a preliminary run with the Crystal Heart. Just now. There isn't a match."
"This has to be a mistake!! I was promi-"
>"There Is. No. Match. Mister Anonymous, somecreature will be by later to escort you back to the portal. Now if you would please fill out this paperwork, it is mostly bureaucratic nonsense," Hopeful's voice begins to drone on, but you aren't listening.
"There isn't a match...?" you say quietly under your breath as your body goes numb.
>There is no justice in this world.
>Fucking libtards ruin everything.
>>
>>34973573
>Somecreature
SHES ONE OF THEM!
>>
>>34973327
Manthots who don't understand nor appreciate the notions of eternal love and commitment (i.e. the majority of men). This includes all men who have had more than 2 sexual partners in their lives, and even those with 1 or 2 are unlikely to be fit for a mare. Additionally, men who are morbidly obese or otherwise show indiscipline, weakness, or tendencies towards hedonism could not be matched with any mare.
>>
>>34973608
So what you're saying is that the man that you idolize would not be allowed into Equestria, because that man has married three thots, is obese, and doesn't have the discipline to not contradict himself within 10 minutes of speech?
>>
>>34973307
If that was true, then
>Some mares don't deserve men
is also true, and we know that it's not, so you're wrong.
>>
>>34973615
/pol/tourist pls go
orange man isn't real and can't hurt you.
>>
>>34973630
There isn’t a 1:1 proportion of mares to men, there is obviously way more men than mares, only those deserving and that want it can have a mare.
>>
>>34973573
>"Wait... You had HOW MANY SCOOPS?!?!"
>>
>>34973646

alright, this gif got me
>>
>>34973644
If someone truly desires pure love of a mare they qualify. No one "deserves" anything in life and it's not up for anyone, especially us, to decide. If someone craves the purity only a mare can provide but you say that he doesn't deserve it, then you have to assume that a mirror situation could be true, that there is a mare who is that man's soulmate yet she will never see him now and suffer her whole life because someone else decided that she can't be with her husbando. And that just won't do.
>>
>>34973663
That being said, an easily recognizable outward sign of genuinely loving mare is making an effort to improve yourself and be the kind of man your mare deserves, as is being devoted to loving mare and not getting entangled with thots.
>>
>>34973615
>the man you idolize
I'm not the other anon.
>>
>>34972329
>OCs
Found the fan of the fandom who never watched S1.
>>
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>>34973735
Can't disagree with that one. I think at some point it comes naturally because devotion and loyalty are a given fact of love, and even if you start out with "I'll never be good enough" mindset it can easily become "I want to be as good as I possibly can for her". It's amazing how these things work sometimes. Mares have almost supernatural power to inspire people without interacting with them directly even once.
>>
>>34973663
But there are less mares than men who love mares in this world, certainly a rapist pedophile or a murderer would be place last on the waiting list?
>>
>>34973342
>us finally getting the country back
But, you are still Israel's vassal tho ?
>>
>>34973769

It's a Personal Union, you uninformed queer.
>>
>>34973663
>you have to assume that a mirror situation could be true
No, I don't. There is no mirror symmetry between Earth and Equestria, and thinking of it that way is a product of cringey and childish over-simplifications, much like RGRE and MLH.
>>
>>34973763
>there are less mares than men who love mares in this world
I highly doubt that. I don't think there are a lot of people who truly wish to completely abandon everything in this world to live with a pony in a different world. And think about the prerequisites for even being on "the list", if someone really loves a mare then there's more to him than just a label for a crime.
>>
>>34973778
Yes, you do. First of all, that man could be a mare's soulmate before you ever know it. Second, it doesn't even have to be symmetrical. If you introduce a concept of "deserving" love to this whole affair then we can just as easily assume that it applies to both sides and some mares don't deserve to be loved just as well.

But that doesn't really matter because the concept of deserving love is flawed at its roots. It stops being relevant the moment you elect yourself, an inherently imperfect being who is not omnipresent and isn't completely unbiased, to be the judge of others in a matter concerning a lifetime of experiences, events and consequences you can't possibly be aware of.
>>
>>34973794
I wasn't the one who used the word "'deserving", but I took the original post more to mean that there are men who very obviously and clearly would never be "matched" to a mare. I can decide whether someone fitting a certain (relatively detailed) description would ever be able to make a mare happy, even if I can't decide whether specific people I meet actually do fit that description.
>>
>>34973573
>ponies oppressing someone based on his political opinion from another universe
you cant make his shit up
>>
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mare
>>
What happens when you finally meet her?
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>>34974649
Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.
>>
>>34974649
You start closing the distance for a warm hug. Only a few feet, now a few inches away from the love and welcoming warm fuzziness of your mare's embrace you wake up.
>>
>>34974689
>She wakes up into a dark, empty bedroom
>She throws her pillow and screams as her happiest moment wasn’t real
>>
I need pictures.
Pictures of mares!
>>
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>>34974721
>>
>>34974721
>>
>>34974721
mare!
>>34974929
nice filename
>>
Any man who is unwilling to become a stallion for their mare is undeserving of her love.
>>
>>34975182
Luckily there is just the right thread for you with likeminded Anons. Bon voyage!
>>34943430
>>
>>34969451
>Still be Jack.
>You keep pushing on her chest, there’s no way you are giving up on her.
>She’s your only friend here, someone you can really relate to.
>Eventually Forest sputters and coughs as water spills from her mouth. You lift her head and tilt it to clear her airways.
“F-Forest c-can you hear me?” You shiver out the words, the cold is starting to set into your bones.
>The changeling gives no reply, but she is still breathing at least.
>Struggling to your feet you pick her up and hold her close. You can feel her cold chitin through your clothes.
>You feel the weight on your feet, every step is like wearing lead shoes as you stop through the snow.
>The chilling wind slaps across your exposed skin of your face and hands. Your clothes ices as fresh snow lands on the fabric. You must find somewhere warm.
>You look around, for any building or sanctuary from the icy wind. Maybe walking back to Vanhoover would increase your odds of survival. Glancing back upriver you see the mighty dam surrounded by tree covered hills.
>Your shoulders sunk when you realize what a task that will be, you decide to follow the river downstream, where the land is flat.
>Tucking Forests body under your jacket in hopes of giving her some heat, you start your journey, you body screams in iced pain as you stumble through the snow.
>Heading downstream, you see Forest’s saddlebags caught on a fallen branch at the side of the riverbank. You carefully edge down the shallow part of the bank and scoop it out with your foot.
>Holding Forest in one hand you throw it over your shoulder. You shudder as freezing water drips down your back.
>>
>>34975439
>After only a few hundred yards your legs gives and you collapse in the snow peppered ground, sending Forest a couple of feet away from you.
“S-shit. I can’t do this, forest...” You mutter knowing you won’t get a reply. “I’m out of m-my l-league here, I’m not a-a s-survivalist.” Your body shivers uncontrollably. “I-I S-shouldn’t even bb-be here…”
>In the distance you see some smoke being carried by the wind, you watch it for a few moments as the hunger for warmth grows inside you.
>If there’s smoke there must be fire. You didn’t care if it was a campfire or a bush fire. You just wanted the heat.
>With renewed motivation you push yourself up and crawl to Forest.
>Scooping her back in your arms you stumble back onto your feet. You legs protested as an iced pain shoots through your muscles. Your grit your teeth and start to move forward, one step at a time.
>It seems like it has been an eternity walking to your goal, eventually a large wooden lodge comes into view, you can see the smoke billowing out of its chimney. At this moment you couldn’t think of anything cosier than a blanket and a fireplace.
>As you approach you see a wooden sign blow in the wind, you couldn’t read the sign, but by the symbols, you guess it’s a resort of some kind.

>You open the double doors and stumble in from the cold. You hobble to the reception desk where a shocked yellow earth pony mare looks up at you.
“N-need help.” That’s all you could voice as the warm air starts to burn your cold throat.
>”I-is that a-a changeling!?” The mare looks at Forest in alarm.
“S-she’s my friend. Please…” You croak out. “I-I got b-bits.”
>”I’m sorry but I cannot let her stay.”
“D-don’t do this, she will die!” You clutch Forest tightly.
>You hear hoof steps clack on the floor behind you as a new voice chimes in.
>”I say, turning away guests that are clearly in need, I do question the hospitality this place prides itself.”
>>
>>34975441
>”Ah Mr Fancy Pants. Is there a problem?” Another stallion walks out of the back room.
>”I wish to have a refund, good sir. Sending two out into the cold to perish because of company policy is something I cannot stand for.”
>”Oh, I see,” The stallion frowns as he looks over you a Forests sorry state. “As you can see, we have a strict guess policy for your protection Mr Pants. A changeling is a dangerous creature.”
>”Regardless, I wish for a refund and take my business somewhere else. This will be a story to tell amongst dinner with the other Canterlot nobles that two beings died after being rejected for help.”
>”H-hey don’t be so hasty Mr Pants.” The manager holds up his hooves. “I was only stating the policy. Of course, will cannot send them both out their condition.” He turns around calls through the door, “Smile Service? Take the human and the bu- changeling to room Seventeen.”
>The yellow mare returns with a set of keys in her mouth and drop them on the reception desk. “Here’s you keys and follow me.”
>You pick up the keys and slowly follow the mare through the foyer and down a small corridor. She leads you to a room right at the back of the lodge.
>”This is your room.” She mentions before turning around and trots off without another word.

>You shrug off the mares abruptness and place the key into the lock and turn. The door clicks open and you push.
>The room is definitely small; you guess it’s the budget room for this place. But you didn’t care, you are out of the damn cold.
>You place Forest on the single bed and proceed to remove your chilled damp clothes. You find a towel tucked in the airing cupboard and dry off your skin.
>Tying the towel around your waist you grab another and start to dry off Forest.
>>
>>34975445
>”Oh..” She shuffles on your chest to get comfy. “I’m guessing you saved me then?”
“Scared the crap out of me more like.” You pull her back into a hug.
>”Thanks Jack,” She nuzzles into the crook of your neck and breathes in with a smile.
“It’s fine, I honestly thought I lost you for a moment.” You run your fingers down her withers and between her wings. You feel them twitch under the thick bed sheets.
>”I thought I was done for as well…Jack.” She pauses pulls back and looks right at you. “I’m glad I met you.”
“Likewise.”


_________________________________

I hope you guys don't mind a slow burn romance. I'm not sure if I'm going too slow with Jack and Forest.
>>
>>34974721
a e s t h e t i c mare
>>
>>34975722
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-RFunvF0mDw
>>
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>>34975453
> “I’m glad I met you.”
>"Likewise"
D'aww, i love moments like this.
The current pace is fine my guy, keep doing what you feel is comfortable for the characters.
>>
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>>34975453
Finally caught up; the pace is perfect as long as you stick around long enough to seal the deal.
>>
>>34974721
>>
>>
>>34977207
>"Princess he's been holding me like this for thirty minutes, can you please do something?"
"You were warned that some of the humans are emotionally fragile, and that our physical appearances and soft fur would be irresistable to those in particular."
>"I was just being friendly!"
"To someone that barely knows the meaning of the word, we have the acclimatisation period to mitigate reactions like this."
"Dont worry, his mare should be here soon and she'll happily 'tag in', as it were."
>>
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>>34974721
>>
>>34964005
No
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G-girls? How would you cook for your husbando?
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>>34977456
with love of course, and a lot of help from my mom! i’ve never had to make an actual meal before… d-do plain carrots and apples count?
>>
>>34977461
>do plain carrots and apples count?
Grate them and you got bitchin salad!
Husbandos love salads.
>>
It's a great, big Universe,
And we're all really puny,
We're just tiny little specks
About the size of Mickey Rooney,
It's big and black and inky,
And we are small and dinky,
It's a big Universe and we're not!
>>
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i have failed her,/nmp/
in my desperation and loneliness,i have lost my virginity to a gay twink
can i ever be redeemed and be deserving of her love again,or am i a lost cause?
>>
>>34977584
>gay twink
Jesus Christ, how did that happen?
>>
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>>34977584
>touching 3dpd
>ever
>also AIDS infected mentally sick 3dpd
>also furshit
You've bee officially blacklisted from the program! Bye and have a nice day!
>>
>>34977584
Are you serious or just baiting?
>>
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>>34977586
>how did that happen
desperation can turn men into rabid beasts
the day before i had to deal with one of my family friends bringing her boyfriend over to a party and i kind of just...stopped caring
i got grindr and hit up the most feminine twink i could find,since i never had any luck on tinder
he looked cute in the pictures,but when i went to his home i immediately began to regret it
he was taller than me,was covered in prickly hairs,had stretch marks and his body was full of cloth
the bed too
we kissed,sucked each other,licked each other etc but all throughout i felt awful,yet i couldnt stop
tried to fuck him too,but his hole was too tight
he was really into degradation,wanting me to sit on his face,spit on him,hit him,use him etc
i ended up just giving up since i couldnt even maintain an erection,didnt even coom
i felt like shit the whole way home,then took a long shower once i had arrived,i ve been trying to forget ever since
i still keep cooming to traps and femboys,but i could never do anything with a man again
i feel like i have been marked,tainted by my own mistake,never to be pure again
i am broken and i cannot wait for deaths warm embrace to finally arrive
>>
>>34977589
>aids
got myself tested,thank got he didnt give me anything
nothing physical,at least...

>>34977594
i am deadly serious
i have posted my story on /r9k/ and /pol/ before,i just hope someone learns something from it and doesnt repeat my mistake
>>
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>>34977599
forgot to mention,but he was actually bigger than me as well
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>>34977599
you should feel all those things you said, you should also tell that family friend what she inspired you to partake in. you sucked dick, literally a faggot
>>
>>34977584
when was this
>>
>>34977609
>you sucked dick, literally a faggot
technically yes,but the experience has proved to me that i am not gay,since i couldnt even get hard
as i said,i regret it very much,but theres nothing i can do at this point other than try to forget and act like it never happened
>>
>>34977610
>when was this
about 3 weeks ago,maybe more,maybe less
>>
>>34977599
Is this a copypasta? Because it reads like some sort of copypasta
>>
>>34977603
Ive read your story on /pol/. Wtf Anon.

You need to find away to make it up to your mare.
>>
>>34977626
no,i literally just wrote it right now
all of my posts have been 100% honest,is it that hard for people to wrap their mind around the fact that some of us dont make it?
>>
>>34977613
>technically yes, but
maybe you can find some solace in that you did not get it in his pooper
>>34977626
that’s what i’m thinking
>>
>>34977584
There's one possible way. You have to accept transformation into a pony. It is the only way to be cleansed of your sins.
>>
>>34977631
>>34977638
he needs to castrate himself, he clearly cant be trusted around dicks, his or anothers
>>
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>>34977631
>You need to find away to make it up to your mare
>implying any mare would want someone as sick as me
>>
>>34977643
He needs to go monk mode.

>>34977644
Thats some defeatist shit right there Anon.
>>
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>>34977599
>>34977606
>>34977632
Oh God, why did I ask? And why did I read this till the end?
>>
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>>34977652
dont close your eyes,anon
take it all in,this is what happens when you forget the love of your mare
never forget about /her/
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>>34964005
I only wish to see her shine brightly as she forgets the worries of royalty.
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>>34977584
What, AGAIN? How'd you manage to do it twice already in a span of just a few threads?
>>
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If I had a cute little mare wife, I don't think I could manage to stop cuddling her long enough to get out of bed in the morning.
>>
>>34977733
>How'd you manage to do it twice already
i havent done it twice,its the same story
>>
I have no idea what to do when I meet her
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>mare has a huge aer0 ponut
Nice
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>>34977913
>mm i like buttholes and eating poo poo
>>
>>34977848
Then let your heart tell you what to do once it happens.
>>
>>34977929
What happens if your heart has been so subjugated to your head, all it does is pump blood and indicate danger nearby?
>>
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>>34977944
Take a breath, look at your mare, and observe her eyes. I guarantee you will lose yourself in them in a good way. Everything else will go on its own from there on out.
>>
>>34977584
the first step is to stop fucking posting about it, ffs
the second step is to say 'Fuck It, I do not care if I ever 'make it', I will devote my life to the GREAT WORK regardless'
the third step is to remember that commitment always; to always get back up if/when you fail; and to become is close as possible to the person you know you COULD have been
sometimes redemption can be earned by grace, but only for those who demonstrate their total devotion and unceasing effort
>>
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>>34977925
>not eating mare ass
Guess how I know your IQ is in the ballpark of 80-90
>>
>>34977981
>mare ass
>posts a picture of a human ass tacked onto a pony
As usual, scatfags have shit taste.
>>
>>34977925
mare butt
>>
>>34978014
Nightmare Dock is cute.
>>
>>34978012
As usual, you just assume shit and think liking anal is scatfag.
Literal retard.
>>
>>34978033
You have to be developmentally retarded to think that there's anything sexy about assholes, let alone to want to "eat" one. There's a reason anyone with half a brain doesn't want to eat shit (unlike you).
>>
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Imagine your first kiss with your mare. Nothing will ever top that. Except maybe your first night full of passion and unbridled affection, or holding your babby in your hands for the first time and seeing your mare's tired but happy smile. You know, those sort of things.
>>
>>34978400
Yes. I want to experience them all.
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>>34978400
>Ywn know these feels
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>>34978048
>he can't appreciate ponuts
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>>34970192
Fuck (((THEM)))
We are a long way from Equestria.
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>>34972222
BATS RACIST
>>
>>34978840
The ponies are cute and all, but if something similar was done with humans it would just be muh racism muh pronouns tumblr shit. Bad premise.
>>
>>34978858
The difference is that all ponies are just subspecies of pony. Separate, but able to interbreed. And they will admit that.
Crystal, Bat, Unicorn, Pegasus, Earth, Kirin.
All subspecies derived from a common root of pony.
>>
>>34978884
What about zebras?
>>
>>34977599
>I still keep cooming to traps and femboys
That's what led you to all this. In your shame and regret you must find the strength to stop doing it. Leave it behind.
>>
>>34978889
As far as we know Zecora is the only one and she fell in through a portal in the middle of Equestria, South Africa.
>>
>>34978884
What happens when a bat pony gains the title of ascended prince(ss)?
>>
>>34978958
Well, another princess is already The Night, so they'd be stuck being the princess of whatever their achievement was.
I imagine they'd just get bigger bat wings and a horn.
>>
>>34978884
>tfw no crystal-bat-kirin-alicorn mare to cuddle
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>>34979280
>Crystal coat
>Bat wings.
>Kirin horn.
...Shit that actually looks pretty neat in my head.
>>
>>34979334
think of the fluffy kirin mane, too
when she folds up her wings it'd look like one of those cloaks with the big fluffy collar.
>>
>>34979001
I like the idea of an alicorn sized bat matriarch.
>>
>>34979438

That honestly sounds super comfy.
>>
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Happy Hearts and Hooves day Anons, the day we are as spiritual close to our waifu as possible, pray to Cadenza that today she might Cleanse our souls and take us to be with our mares. Amore Vult and amen.
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>>34980673
Amore Vult.
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>>34978889
Zebras are subspecies of donkeys.
>>
is it true Anons? do men really only want one thing?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XeLaiL9tk68
>>
>>34980922

That's still within the equine family, though, and to my knowledge, a female zebra is a mare. A female donkey is a jennet.
>>
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>>34980891
>>34980673
Condense pls take me nao
>>
>>34980673
Cadance! Funny seeing you here! Crazy idea, but what if I babysit McFlurry for you until I get a match? Are you allowed to keep an Anon on layaway? I swear I’d only boop her like, twice a day
>>
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>>34980673
Guys, I think I have to share a story with you and there is probably no better day for it than this one. A confession of a sin, in a sense, and something I've considered to address for a while now. Don't be alarmed, it's nothing like the other Anon posted above, but maybe bad in a different kind of way. Because what happened does not so much affect myself as it may possibly become the plight of an old friend of mine.
You see, I once happened to play a MMO where I encountered a female player who for whatever reason became a semi-regular contact of sorts. This was long before I knew about the 3DPD thottery of the modern world, and also before the times of MLP FiM. I was not so wary about these kinds of things back then and had no way of knowing about the purity of mares. Nevertheless, I was never interested in forming a relationship even back then because it seemed too much of a hassle which people pursued for reasons I never understood. In retrospect, I am quite sure she probed me to test whether or not I was a suitable candidate, though that flew straight over my head. So no problems there.
But as it so happened, said friend of mine also played the game, and she began to become a bit of a nuisance for me, so I did something which seemed obvious for me back then. I introduced them to each other. You can probably guess what happened next. They hooked up. And ironically enough, both thanked me for it shortly thereafter while I had the peace and quiet I wanted the most. Everything was well and the issue became a side note.
However, I heard about them moving in together somewhere nearby a short while ago, and by now I had more than enough time to understand what possible horror I could have brought upon this guy all those years ago. While nothing bad has happened so far, to my knowledge at least, it still can happen anytime. And I'm the one to blame when it will happen.
[Cont.]
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>>34981089
This is the sin I confess today before you and before Cadence. I dumped a thot onto another guy because it was convenient at the time, with no further considerations and remorse. Hell, I even considered other friends as additional backups should that situation ever occur again. It didn't, but still. And while I had no bad intentions in doing so in the past, the results can turn out to be a tragedy in the making, especially since they now went into a critical phase. If something bad happens to this guy, it is my fault, period. Today I regret doing it in the first place.
I don't know it this deed taints me or lowers my credit in Cadence's eyes, so I let her and you guys be my judge. If this does make me unworthy, so be it. But it needed to be said. Whatever the outcome is, the cards are now on the table. I hope my ignorant folly will not cause any pain in the future.
Amore Vult, brothers, hopefully someone can learn something from my mistake. And if there is any way you know for me to atone for my misdeeds, please name them. What has been done can't be undone, but maybe they can be made up for somehow.
>>
Congrats! You made it to Equestria and founded a happy family with your mare, your foals love you and you havent had a bad day you needed to suffer through alone since you arrived, except uh oh! Your filly wants to be like mommy and marry a man! But the initiative hasn’t been pumping out Anons like it used to, even so your daughter doesn’t want to take no for an answer. How will you convince her to find a nice colt, that you aren’t so great (as if she’d believe that) or would you pursue Cadance to see if there was any chance the princess could help resolve this issue, one way or another
>>
>>34981338
Well, going to Cadence worked out well enough for me, apparently.
If it turns out her match is a human, then that's fine, since the heart wouldn't pick someone who wasn't worth the trouble. But if her match is a stallion, best I can do is arrange a meeting and hope they like each other.
>>
>>34981338
First I would talk to her to make sure if she is really adamant about this decision. If she is (most likely outcome), I'll promise to take her to Cadence when she is old enough for the project. But I wouldn't want to make promises I can't keep, so I'd have to stress in advance that I can make no guarantees whether the initiative and/or Cadence's love magic find a human or a pony match for her.
>>
>>34980946
>>
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>>34980673
Faith and family, love and devotion!
Amor vult!
>>
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Write a story for /nmp/
Hard mode: No Cadance
Nightmare mode: No Husbando Initiative, No Cadance, No Love Gaze, No Instant-Love
>>
>>34981715
Nightmare mode
Both you, your friends discover a universe made of an alien megastructure with odd biomes like lye plains and black forests surrounding a noneuclidean megacity but no one’s there.
The method of travel gave you powers while there.
You stumble upon a group of mares with similar abilities
You’re confused and intrigued by the other
You have to fight an unseen eldrich horror and its monsters while it attacks your universe using one of many towers dotted across the structure
One mare manages to brute force the deactivation runes
Both groups promise to stop this entity and preserve this place to cement both Equus’s and Nspace’s stability
You start to fall for each other as you save each other countless times
>>
>>34981715
So like a regular romance green? What will make it an /nmp/-specific story then?
>>
>>34981784
The extreme purity of the love between the man and the mare, I guess.
>>
>>34981715
>be anon
>suddenly in Equestria
>see mare
>mare sees you
"Hi."
>"Hey."
"Hay is for horses."
>you laugh
>she laughs
"You have an adorable laugh."
>"Speak for yourself, cutie."
>kneel and pet mare
>she nickers happily
"Say, you know anywhere I can get something to eat that'd let me work off my meal? Got no cash."
>"I'll take you home and cook you something up myself if you keep this up."
>she leans into your hand
"Sounds good to me!"

>4years later
>dead ass tired after a long day of work
>collapse into bed like a sack of rocks, sighing out the aches of your toil
>a pair of hooves slink over your shoulders and you feel a smooch on the back of your head
>"Tough day?"
"Putting it mildly. Ponies are too dang strong for their size, and I ain't."
>"Language, dear."
"Sorry."
>turn around to face her
>even in the dark her eyes shine like diamonds
"Are the kids asleep?"
>"Foals, dear. Kids are goats."
"Right. So, they asleep?"
>she titters and her half-lidded eyes bristle with impish glee
>"Yeeees..."
>you smile cheekily
"Good."
>snuggle up against her chest, arms wrapped around her, and pass right the fuck out
>she giggles and rolls her eyes
>she knew your game from the start
>your head gets another little smooch
>"I love you."
"Love you more."
>"Don't start a fight you can't win."
>you chortle into her fluff
>the both of you drift off into sweet shared dreams.

You never said no time-skips.
>>
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>>34981715
>You look down at the pink hooves wrapped around your arm.
>You look up at the innocently smiling pink mare those hooves are attached to, the computer screen rippling behind her like a disturbed pond.
>"Come ooon! It's hearts and hooves day and i'm sure you'll find a lonely mare who'll enjoy these magic fingers of yours~"
>"Not me though i'm too busy finding more party guests but hey maybe if you're still single after today (Yeah like that would ever happen have you SEEN how desperate some of these mares are geez) we could go raid the candy store together and get a whooooooole bunch of cheap goodies!"
>"So whaddaya say?"
>You glance around your room, to the pink pony and finally the bottle of alcohol in your hand.
>With a shrug you finish it before throwing it over your shoulder and use your newly freed appendage to ruffle your potential hallucinations mane.
"Sure why not, had nothing planned for today anyway."
>"Whoo! Now hold onto your butt because this is gonna feel weird!"
>You can vaguely see two pink blobs place themselves on either side of your rippling screen and realise what she's about to do a moment too late.
>"Hyyyyyyyup you go!"
>She pulls herself backwards with a mighty heave, dragging your arm and you along with her through the rippling rectangle which gradually smooths back to it's regular appearance.
>It briefly shows a sunlight grassy field with two figures, one laying atop the other before the internal circuitry burns out with a soft whine, becoming completely inoperable.
>Somewhere, a pink hoof gently meets a human nose, the owner of which momentarily going cross eyed and causing the mare to gigglesnort, the resulting consequence being both of them descending into a brief fit of laughter as the man rolls onto his back.
>Birds tweet from the nearby trees, clouds lazily drift through the warm sunny sky, and the hustle and bustle of a small town can just faintly be heard over a small hill.
>>
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>>34981784
>Anon exists
>Ponies go "Woah."
There we go, literally every /nmp/ green summarized.
>>
>>34982026
Hey, sometimes there's a delay in the "Whoa." Give us that much credit, at least.
>>
>>34981715
I'm writing one where Cadance is a protagonist and the the husbando initiative is a very small part of the story. Also the romance is slow to build.

Is this medium mode?
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>>34982026
>Mare exists.
>Humans go "Woah."
I mean, that's not entirely inaccurate to most peoples reactions ITT.
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>>34981715
But if I have no Cadence or Initiative, how can I rush the story to the end without building up a real relationship? I can't do these things, it's kinda hard.
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Would you a drunk mare?
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>>34982078
As long as she doesn't remember it in the morning so she won't tell my waifu, yes.
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>>34982078
Would I cuddle her through the night and surprise her with breakfast in bed?
Yeah.
>>
I'm an epic gamer, fight me in any game losers
>>
>>34982120
I dare you to start a tic-tac-toe match not in the center cell
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>>34982078
Only if I'm already in a longer relationship with her and knowing that she's fine with it.
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>>34982043
The difference is that mares are perfect and pure and deserve love.
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>>34982078
Only if the mare in question is my lawfully wedded wife.
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>>34982078
very much. we might meet an early grave though if we both become drunks.
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>>34982074
Here's a real big redpill for you: The love between a man and a mare is hollow and pointless if Cadance just drops you into her lap and she loves you instantly. Without a naturally progressing smolder, the fires of love do not burn.
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>>34981715
I'm not one to usually brag a lot, but I think I got Nightmare Mode done almost perfectly with the first try.
>Cadence
Mentioned only.
>Initiative
Nope.
>Love Gaze
Not really either.
>Instant-Love
Well, 50% at best. Anon took his due time before he allowed himself to be fully at ease.
>>
>>34982359
"Real love" is chemical processes. The love of a man and a mare slowly built over years is just as genuine as one induced by love magic after a single dinner date. Materially, there is no difference.
>>
>>34982359

>ywn be reborn in Equestria as a colt
>ywn never meet a certain filly one day and become best friends who do everything together and get into all sorts of mischief
>ywn get older and realize that you could never live without each other
>ywn get married and have lots of foals with her

It hurts.
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>>34982531
Immensely based and redpilled
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>>34982531
Get back to transformation general please
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>>34964005
Fuck
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>>34981826
Holy fuck my heart anon
>>
>>34982531
>>34982594
>Gollypedos and transformationfags unite
Why am I not surprised?
>>
>>34982625
>>34982662
It's not transformation though.
>>
>>34982625
>>34982662
Of course it’s not the thread for this subject but what would we consider a man?
Is a man with no legs half a man?
Are we the sum of our experiences?
>>
>>34982402
True, DECA mare's story meets all the qualifications for nightmare mode. You've created one of the most unique stories this board has ever seen.

I hope you feel better soon.

>>34981090
I wouldn't worry about it. I know several married couples with kids that are perfectly happy.

>>34981826
>>34982011
Nice little one shots, thanks.
>>
>>34982813
>spoiler
Thanks. It has gotten a little better, but it's still a burden. Though I found some time to write regardless and hope to get another chapter out in a day or two.
>>
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>>34982729
A man is a featherless biped
A mare is a hooved quadruped
I'm kidding. A man as we know it is the being created by this society. A man as we define it is someone who recognizes or can recognize the absolute state of thots and their inherent lack of ability to love. To be a man is a state of mind, it is to be clearheaded and aware of the fires nipping at your flesh while others sit in a haze. Ergo, you can be a pony and still be a man.
>>
>>34982839
>spoiler
ergo, a man as you define it can allow stallions, griffins, diamond dogs, and kirin into nmp
>>
>>34982839
>>34982845
Someone should call Yuri Bezmenov. We've got subversion fags in here again.
>>
>>34982359
Well I have no idea how it to progress it naturally, it seems like it's going to take so much time it just won't be interesting to read at all. And if that's the setup, how long the payoff is going to be, if at all present? We're talking like a novel length story just for "they do stuff together" and sometimes you put "they start noticing they like each other" here and there. I'm not sure if it wouldn't get old fast.
>>
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I just woke up from a nap and Cadence was in my dream. I don't really remember if she said anything but I definitely saw her a couple times. Is this it? Am I going?
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>>34982860
>NOOOOO STOP POSTING THINGS I DON'T LIKE STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT
>>34982897
Come on, Anon. Don't you know how romance builds up? Do you not watch those cheesy romance movies?
Pro tip: The characters there are written by men and therefore idealized in the same way as anime or pony waifus. You can unironically take a note or two from them.
>>
>>34982932
>Don't you know how romance builds up?
I know, I'm just not sure it's interesting to read and those stories rarely go into details about the happy life together after the tribulations of getting together, the very thing I'd aim at.
>Do you not watch those cheesy romance movies?
Not really. I don't think romance anime also applies here. What are some anime about living happily together and raising a family?
>>
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>>34982931
Today's her strongest day anon, she might be trying to send you a message.
Quickly, back to sleep with you and listen to our matron!
>>
To the /pol/tards in this thread: What will you do when you get to Equestria and realize that it's a multicultural, socialist utopia? Will your brain melt when you see that interspecies relationships are not only accepted but encouraged even though that should be obvious by the fact that you are being welcomed there specifically to marry a pony? Or when your mare laughs softly at you and tells you "of course we have universal healthcare anon, anything else would be cruel and inharmonious." how would you react?
Now obviously, you can be wrong about politics but still be worthy of a mare, so I'm sure many of you will make it there. But you may be in for a surprise.
>>
>>34983060
>functional universal healthcare in a society without strong borders
keep dreaming, pal, maybe one day it'll be true.
>>
>>34983060
>socialist
It's a monarchy, the Princess's gives it away.
Also nobles. Socialist hate nobles, they would of been killed off already.

There is also a free market, as ponies has businesses not owned by the state. Also marketplaces exist where ponies has to buy their own food.
>>
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>>34983060
>t. glimmerfag
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>>34983090
>Martian Anon lived his entire life in AI assisted socialist city
>He gets kidnapped to fill his role as husband to some lonely mare
>He’s surprised at the use of money and free enterprise were he’s used to work credits and good ol’ bartering with outsiders
>He’s a black sheep in a small earth pony town, making his way with his new marefriend
>They warm up to him due to his work ethic and similar family values
>Although he refuses to part with his old rubberized jumpsuit, citing its durability
>>
>>34982950
I hear the message.
She told me to get bent.
>>
>>34980673
Happy Festival of Lupercalia!
>>
I think I prefer to be alone now.
>>
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Wasteland mare
>>
So I went to type up a new story for you guys and I noticed that Microsoft word won't let me type anything anymore. Looks like the student version of the software that I used has expired since I graduated. Those greedy fucks wanted a $100 a year subscription to use Word again. Fuck them, I'm not paying them shit. Anyone know of a Microsoft Word alternative that can be purchased outright for a reasonable fee?
>>
>>34983962

I just use wordcounter.net since it autosaves what I write, counts characters and words, which is all I need it to do.
>>
>>34983962
LibreOffice
JDarkWriter
JDark is better for just sitting down and typing, LibreOffice is just basically freeware Word
>>
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>>34983962
>alternative that can be purchased
>paying for software ever
>>
>>34983962
AbiWord, LibreOffice Writer, just use Notepad like a normal person
>>
>>34984002
I bet you'll end up a with a pirate mare. She sails the seven seas in a cute, colorful ship, "steals" things that don't actually belong to anyone, and boops all the ponies in her path.
>>
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>Be Rainbow Dash
>The sun has started to set. It's Hearts and Hooves day and you're spending it alone. Again.
>Not like you mind. It's always been like this.
>Back in Cloudsdale, stallions never paid much attention to you.
>They always saw you as the scrappy tomcolt. Even if you could fly better then them, none of them ever wanted to date you.
>You spend your high school prom with a few of your mare friends (no homo) sharing a bottle of whiskey you snatched from your parent's liquor cabinet using the key they didn't know you found.
>It was worth getting grounded for later, your mom even complimented you on your sneakiness once dad had left for work. She had done the same thing as a teenager.
>You just got back from Pinkie Pie's Hearts and Hooves day party. It ended at 6:00 p.m. since she wanted to go to a fancy dinner with her new husband, that French baker guy she was matched with. The cake they baked together was the best thing you've ever eaten, those two have improved their baking skills working together the past few months.
>Pinkie hardly shut up about him the first few weeks.
>You were happy for them, but all their lovey dovey behavior started to grate on you after the first few days.
>Now it's just you and tank back at your place.
>You bought a nice bottle of champagne and assortment of chocolates. You don't even have to share them with anypony else.
>It could be worse. Getting hitched right now would be a huge setback in your flying career with the Wonderbolts.
>Spitfire even took a three month leave of absence towards the end of your pregnancy. She made you interim lead Wonderbolt in her absence.
>This is your big break. Her getting hitched last year has allowed you to advance much faster then you planned. She'll be coming back to work soon, since she had her baby almost a month ago.
>You'll be going back to your normal wing mare spot soon enough, but now is your chance to prove you can handle the responsibilities of leadership.
>>
>>34983972
>>34983990
>>34984002
>>34984006
Thanks guys, I'll look into these later. For now I'm just going to type up my story in the 4chan comment box and cpoy & paste it into notepad. Since notepad doesn't have a spell check feature.

Also, post what you're listening to now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MQ865X2CS4
>>
>>34984143

Wordcounter.net also has spellcheck. Oh, and:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=331bkzL-EJM&t=61s
>>
>>34984136

>Settling down now would throw a wrench into all the hard work you've put into your training.
>Ever since Cadence founded that Husbando Initiative, everypony around you has been looking to settle down. Not just the ones with human matches either. Octavia finally got married to Dr. Hooves a few months after the Initiative was founded.
>It's like everyone has been in a rush to get married and have foals.
>You never imagined that Spitfire would be one of them.
>You looked up to her ever since she got her start with the Wonderbolts.
>When you asked Spitfire about why she signed up for the Initiative, she said that she was getting on in years. She was about to turn 34, and she felt her time was running out to start a family.
>You'd never guess it by her flying ability, but she was a decade older then you, and her time as a top flyer wouldn't last forever.
>Spitfire wanted to start a family before it was too late, said she had rejected too many suitors back in the day because of her career.
>Her loss was your gain, when Spitfire retires you're almost guaranteed to get her spot as top bolt.
>Drinking your champagne straight from the bottle, you felt that something was missing from your life as you took another chocolate from the heart shaped box.
>Despite having Tank cuddled underneath your wing, you felt completely alone. You hate being alone.

>>34984153
A nice tune, but a little sad. There's snow on the ground where I live right now, and it's been cold lately. It's the perfect time to cuddle up next to my mare, but I remain alone.
>>
>>34984136
>>34984235
I'm intrigued.
>>
>>34984235

I think it's a /comfy/ if sad tune. Relaxed, with a sad undertone. Kinda curious as to where you'll go with your story, if you're starting off with a Dash in mid-fast crisis.
>>
>>34984143
https://soundcloud.com/vyletpony/sorceress
>>
>>34982932
Yes. Stop posting transformation stuff, you have your own thread for this.
>>
>>34984347
>>34984357
Thanks guys. I was drinking with a few friends that come over and my roommate, but I'm back now. I'm pretty shot, but I think I can wrap this up. Might even write it better. A little sad but comfy is what I'm aiming for.
>>34984397
Patrician taste.
Anytime I see a soundcloud link I thin of this song. https://soundcloud.com/assfuckgayboys2/6911-pentagon-remix

>>34984235

>You're having a cheat day right now, with all the gourmet chocolate and booze. You're fit enough to get away with it though. You'll be out training again tomorrow despite the hangover.
>Tank snuggles up a little but closer to your barrel. You smile at him. You're eyes feel dry and you close them for a few seconds. When you open your eyes you realize you've been crying.
>Celestia damn it, you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself. You're the best flyer in Equestria, you've got nothing to be sad about.
>You grasp tank in your forelegs and push him into your tuft as tears stream down your face.
>Out of the corner of your eyes, you see two ponies gently flapping their wings, just enough to keep them off the ground.
>You look up and see your parents. You can see through them, their translucent forms let you know that thankfully your folks haven't dropped by unexpectedly again.
>"Rainbow Dash, please don't cry sweetie. You're father and I are here to help you." The ghostly Wendy says to you.
>"You're mother and I are here to help you. You just need to find your special somepony." The semi-transparent Bow said to you.
"What are you guys here for? Come to cheer me on as the best lonely Hearts and Hooves Days single? Tell me that I'm the best crier?"
>Don't be so down on yourself." Wendy says to you. "Despite the way we look, we're the spirit of Hearts and Hooves Day's past and we're here to help you learn the true purpose of this holiday."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPCJgclG3Us
Best lonely hearts song.
>>
Hey, it's me again! For a while now, I've not had any update to post, but next thread, I'm hoping that'll be different. It's taken way too long, I know, but the most frustrating part is always being on the cusp of finishing an update, and running into a wall to try and make your horsewords read acceptably enough to you for posting on this little corner of a romanian flax-spinning bulletin. Goodnight, Anons, and see y'all with green-in-hand real soon.
>>
>sup dudes? I’m Spike, your escort around the crystal empire
>place is pretty alright, i wish i could eat it all though but then my legions of fans would have no place to worship me
>ah well
>so you dont actually have a match yet
>well i mean
>you wouldnt be here if you didnt
>but there’s been a little… accident
>y’see, dude, broski
>see the thing is
>she isnt real
>but she will be!
>you ever read those neighponese comics?
>have you seen Cool World?
>
>no?
>twi wasn’t kidding about you rubes, ha!
>s’all good man, you’re about to live a little of both, i hope you got a thing for manes
>>
>>34984509
"Aww, Don't guilt trip right now you guys. I feel bad enough already.
>"We're not here to make you feel bad. We're here to get you to accept the helping hoof you already want to grasp." Says Bow.
"What do you mean?"
>We're here to show you what your parent's relationship was like when you were born. We want to show you what you're life could be like." Wendy says.
>Your dad reaches a hoof towards you. "Come one Rainbow, we've got something we want to show you. You should see how happy you're mother and I where when we welcomed you into our lives."
>You take your ghostly father's hoof and your parents lead you straight through your bedroom window. You tense up for a moment but the glass never shatters, you pass right through it.
>They lead you over Ponyville, you know this town's aerial view sow well after all these years that you know you are headed off to Cloudsdale after the first ten seconds. The ground below you is covered in slowly melting snow. Dirt has been kicked up over the snow along side the road. Winter has yet to end.
>You are pulled up through the cloud cover surrounding Ponyville. You see the moon and thousands of brilliant starts shimmer in the winter sky. Before you know it, you are pulled below the clouds. Come to think of it, you haven't flapped your wings once this whole time.
>As you descend you no longer see Ponyville. Instead you close in on your parent's place in Cloudsdale, your fillyhood home where your parents still reside.
>You fly right through the living room window. You finally come to a stop in front you're parents. They look so young. You see yourself as a baby in your mother's foreloegs.

>>34984525
Looking foward to your Insight update as well as your XPONI update.
>>34984593
>Cool World
Loved that movie, great early Brad Pitt performance. Can become a toon by getting killed by a toon. How would you piss off a pony so they kill you and send you to Equestria?
>>
>>34984593
Don't think I can't know a gymcel when I see one
>lift boots, desperately trying to appear tall
>skips leg day clearly
>skips wings day
>manlet heightboost haircut
>>
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>>34984654
>You're the best thing that ever happened to us Dash. You're mother had trouble conceiving. We were so happy when the doctor said Wendy was pregnant and the foal was healthy. We're sorry we could give you any siblings." Bow says as he looks at your past self.
>You watch your past self babble while being gently rocked back and forth by your mom. Your dad smiles as he watches your mom.
>You look back at the spectral parents that brought you here.
"You guys looks so happy. I used to be mad that you fawned over me so much. I never knew you had problems conceiving mom. I'm so sorry I took you guys for granted."
>You turn back to your past self to see that you are no longer at your childhood home, but at your first official race. Your past self stands in a long line next to the victory podium for the top three contestants. You watch a young Ms. Harshwinny pin a participation medal to your tuft. Your past self gives a sad nod toward her, Ms. Harshywinny is already giving the same medal to the filly next to you before you realize she has moved on.
>You then hear the cheers of your parents. "That's my girl! You did great! You're the best flyer in Equestria! We love you!" They chant in unison.
>You can't stop yourself from crying now. Your spectral parents hug you close as you lose your fake composure.
>"I'm so proud of the mare you've become Rainbow. I want to help you take the next step in your life." Wendy says to you.
>You hug your mom, burring your muzzle into her tuft, you try to wipe your tears off into her fur.
>When you look up to meet your mother's gaze you see Princess Cadence. You leap back in shock. Looking at her tuft, you see your tears and snot still fresh reflecting the midday sun.
"I'm so sorry princess, I didn't mean it!" You shout.
>"It's alright Rainbow. We're the ghosts of Hearts and Hooves Days present and we want to show you what your friends are doing tonight." Cadence says to you.
>>
>>34984782
I'll finish the rest of this later. It's pretty late where I am and I'm ready to crash. I won't leave you guys hanging though. I plan on making a pastebin soon. I'll post this story and my Dale Mare short there.
>>
>>34984002
Yeah, fuck all those people who develop things. They don't deserve a roof over their heads. They don't deserve to feed their families. Everyone should just give me whatever I want for free.
>>
>>34983962
Why not just Notepad++? It has a dark mode and with custom highlighting you can make actual greentext so it's less likely for you to forget a green line.
Plus it autoasaves everything so even when your PC crashes or there is a power outage all your work will be saved.
>>
>>34985076
> believing that actual developer has any percent in sales
They get paid by the hour while they actually develop. Everything else is between you and EA/Bethesda/whatever other company that tries to sell you a lootbox.
>>
>>34983962
Online: Google docs.

Offline: Notepad++ (add a plugin for spelling correction), libreoffice
>>
>>34983962
You could just buy a cd key off of ebay. If it doesn't work then you got paypal protection.

Just don't torrent Microsoft Word or download it from megaupload. Because that'll be wrong and illegal.
>>
>>34985546
>that'll be wrong and illegal.
Only in Wisconsin!
>>
>>34984782
>want to show you what your friends are doing tonight
I hope these spirits of H&H Day Present are planning to keep this PG-13.
>>
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THIS IS A MARE
HELLO
I AM A MARE
I HAVE MARE POWERS
>>
>>34986539
HEWWO??
MAWE??
DIS IS ANONNY-WONNY-MOUS???
WHAT POWEWS DU YU POSESS, MAWE?
>>
>>34985546
It's as illegal as torrenting, those are either oem keys or something scrapped from used pc cases. Only this time you're paying money for free shit because you think you're so smart and it's just halfway up your ass so it's a good deal.
>>
>>34986539
Get the fuck off my porch and into my bed
>>
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<---- your waifu
>>
>>34987364

based captchanon
>>
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>>
>"Wakey wakey anon, you better get your pancakes before the foals do!"
>>
>>34987435
>pancakes
Mare, please. It's either crepes, omelettes, or don't even bother waking me up.
>>
>>34987449

>violently disliking your mare's pancakes
I'm sorry you've come down with a bad case of the homolust.
>>
>>34987458
>liking pancakes
>ever
Pancakes are tied with waffles for the worst breakfast food. Weighs like a stone in your gut and there's always waste because nobody has figured out how to accurately judge the number of pancakes they can eat. Meanwhile, crepes and omelettes are light while filling, just as easy as pancakes, and endlessly customizable to suite anyone's palate. Pancucks get the fuck out.
>>
>>34987469

>Frenchman spotted
Again, sorry that you've been afflicted with homolust.
Get well soon!
>>
>>34987491
French breakfasts, American lunches, Italian dinners. This is the optimal meal plan and cannot be contested. Fuck off, landwhale.
>>
>>34987509

Nigger, for calling someone else a landwhale, that mealplan sounds like the best way to end up as one.
>>
>>34987469
Don't worry anon, your mare will help you become less of an insufferable cunt.
>>
>>34987524
>France and Italy are among the slimmest countries in Europe
Just don't eat like an American with your hyper-processed sugar-laden corn-based everything. You know, eat actual French and Italian food? Lunch is cold cuts and salads. But, you know, real food, and not in American supersize-me portions.

>>34987533
My mare wouldn't have a shriveled tongue like an American and thus realize pancakes are shit.
>>
>>34987554

>not having grilled-cheese-and-spam for dinner
>worrying about non-organic GMO-infested gluten-infested pesticided sugarbombs
lmao'ing @ ur lyfe
>>
>>34987509
>eats three meals a day
>accuses others of being landwhales
>>
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>>34987582
>>34987591
>Country so thoroughly cucked by corn and sugar lobbies that clapburgers can't conceive of a normal diet not turning them into hambeasts
>>
>>34987610

>a eurocuck even including American meals in his totally-slim diet
>>
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>>34987435
>wake up
>no one's fucking shouting at me
Peace at last
>>
>>34987621
What the fuck do you do to make a salad or cold cut unhealthy? Have it on the side of a jar of mayo? Is that how you eat?
>>
>>34987633

You're forgetting to add the whole bottle of ranch dressing like a true American. Come on, this is elementary.
>>
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Anyone else know this feel?
>>
>>34987670

My power level is only known among friends, so it's prolly okay.
>>
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>even /nmp/ is susceptible to the 500-year-old yurocuck vs. amerilard meme
Don't mind me, just a third-world CHAD posting a mare.
>>
>>34987689

based third-worlder
how can anyone else compete?
>>
>>34987697
with first world artillery
>>
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>>34987747
No need for violence anon. Your mare wants you to make love to her, not war
>>
>>34987788

>mare will never look at you the way she's looking at that birb
F-Fug bros, dunno if I'm gonna make it
>>
>Get matched, hit it off, move in together all that jazz
>Part of the program is a videotaped confession of all your personality faults
>You don’t necessarily know it was recorded and was promised to be anonymous
>You do it, and 3 weeks later, she watches the tape secretly as part of her agreement
>This is the most morally ambiguous part of the program
>Later on she confronts you about your worst self-description
How would she respond to your words?
>>
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>>34987807
>tfw mare's feelings are hurt by the way you described yourself
>tfw she looks up at you with her wide wet eyes, wondering if you really meant what you said
>tfw your only options are hurting her more by telling the truth or lying to her face
Fuck.
>>
>>34987846
>"Yes, I did think that way."
>you gently grasp her head under the cheek bones, to hold her there while you rest your forehead against hers.
>"But you convinced me I could be, and am, better."
>>
I prefer living alone to tormenting myself by wanting something I know I can't have because it isn't real.
>>
>>34987689
>500-year-old meme
There have only been European settlers in North America for 416 years, you putz.
>>
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>>34987992
based
>>
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>>34987807
>matched with a more forward mare
>she's just back from watching the tape
>she wraps her hooves around your side to really get your attention
>calls you a big dummy for saying those awful things about yourself
>says Cadance and the Crystal Heart see something special in every man that gets invited through the portal, and you are no exception to that rule
>you've made her the happiest mare in the world these last few weeks, all but for one thing: you refuse to let yourself be happy
>so, she tells you to trust her opinion a little more than your own, because hers is backed by a love goddess and an ancient magical artifact that's never wrong
>you try to protest
>she says even without destiny at work, she loves you more than you could ever hate yourself, and she's going to cuddle with you until you realize that
>she wriggles her way into your embrace
>gives you a kiss on the nose and nuzzles up against your chest

>you sit there silent for a moment
>weakly move your arms around her
>she sighs happily and tries to scooch in even closer
>why is it raining indoors?
I don't know if my heart could take that.
>>
>>34987807
to preface this, i must say that when the joke is brought up of us having a comic series about ourself that [she] loves, i am mortified. i dont WANT to lie to her but i’m a much worthier person when i pretend. I have unironically wanted to an hero since i understood the concept of death because life and its people are just so tiresome, i just dont want to hurt my family, as scattered as it is
>>
>>34987689
Wait, but America is third-world. (Unless you're rich)
>>
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>>34988107
>>says Cadance and the Crystal Heart see something special in every man that gets invited through the portal, and you are no exception to that rule
>tfw don't get invited
Fucking RIP
>>
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I just wanna pet a mare. Doesn't have to be a full session, just a few pets. Run my fingers through her mane, maybe. Is that too much to ask for? Why, God, why have you denied us mares?
>>
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>>34988325
This picture is just mesmerisng, the thought of being in that situation makes my heart hurt.
>>
>>34988083
Is she gonna be ok?
>>
>>34988325
if we were born into a perfect world, we would have no proper metric with which to measure the true gift of comfort and happiness with our mare. we need to suffer to be happy
>>
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>>34989038
She's gone, Anon. Your match perished in war, just like we will someday soon.
>>
>>34989256
The cope of a sinner in a fallen world is sad. Your brain has no requirement for suffering to feel happiness, unless you're arguing that this child had gone through fucking Vietnam prior to receiving his Nintendo 64: https://youtu.be/pFlcqWQVVuU
>>
>>34989038
she dieded
>>
>>34989409
you dont know his past life, he couldve died a forgotten hero in vietnam, rusted m11 in his bloody hands as the shitty americans burn his home down. what cruel, post death irony it would be then that he be reborn as his oppressor. in this case the grass truly would be greener
>>
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>>34989408
>>34989410
No. I refuse to believe it. S-she's just relaxing in the water while a firework show goes on in the distance. The life of a mare is too precious to just be snuffed out like that!
>>
>>34989453
she gon white boi
>>
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Mares sure are cute huh
>>
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mare is powered by her love for you
>>
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M A R E
A
R
E
>>
>>34988325
If I were in that situation, her looking at me like that would physically kill me
>>
Your pegaduck mare loves to go swimming. Will you join her, or just observe her beauty and gracefulness and maybe throw out some breadcrumbs now and then?
>>
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>>34990527
This is why the acclimitasion period is a rule, not a guideline anon.
I know you're very excited to see each other but for both of your sakes you need to start things slow.
Now you can hold her hoof for now while we fix you up but keep your eyes closed or we'll have to blindfold you.
Yes i know you've seen pictures but as you've just experienced they are very different from the real thing.
Now the good news is that Acute Equine Diabeetus is easily treatable should we catch it early enough and has no long term negative effects.
The bad news is that in the short term you will be unusally emotional for roughly three days, the staff at HC will be informed of your circumstances so try not to fret about upsetting them if you overreact to anything.
And also dont worry about your fellow men, I gurrantee more than a few of them will suffer a mild case of AED upon meeting their mares even with preperation.
No names, Patient confidentiality and all that, but i will say that one mare in particular has got it BAD for one of you fellas, i heard that Princess Cadence herself is going to be present just to help things go smoothly.
Anyway, time to go back to camp, you lovebirds can schedule a supervised visitation la- yes we cant leave you two alone yet especially after todays shenanigans, you can schedule it daily, even have a lunch together if you both feel you can handle it but you will definitely have someone with you both to help keep any incidents like this from happening again.
>>
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>>34990685
>Trying to separate a man and a mare right after a petting session, even despite the threat of an imminent heart attack
Yeah I don't think that's gonna happen nursemare
>>
>>34990653
>Implying I'd miss an opportunity to swim with my mare
Join her, naturally.
>>
>>34990685
>No names, Patient confidentiality and all that, but i will say that one mare in particular has got it BAD for one of you fellas, i heard that Princess Cadence herself is going to be present just to help things go smoothly.
that sounds pretty adorable
>>
Pegasi interaction with humans have been the oddest amongst the initiative.
Pegasi views of preening being an incredibly intimate activity between lovers caused intense embarrassment and curiosity as an erroneous belief that humans still groom each other the same way their great ape cousins do
>>
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>>34990937
>implying we don't still do that when we can
>implying you won't preen your pegawife's wings and make sure her coat is good
Can't give ferrets any kind of flea medicine and mom keeps feeding the goddamn raccoons so we're constantly shifting between a mild flea problem and an infestation so I have to groom the ferrets by hand.
>>
>>34991119

He's already prepared to preen his pegasus waifu, look at this gigachad among men. What are you other Anons doing to prepare yourselves?
>>
>>34990937
Frankly I think the human instinct of wanting to pet things stems from an instinct to groom, which in the ape world shows friendliness & build bonds whilst also cleaning. Ponies can only pat things, so I think men coming along & universally wanting to pet the pone would be seen as an ape-like trait.
>>
>>34991119
just give the raccoons flea medicine
or shoot them http://www.tbasuppressors.com/Sicario-MK-IV-Silenced-Pistoltrade_p_79.html
>>
>>34991165
Or you could just poison them like a sensible person and not spend $$$$ on a special varmint-assassinating gun.
>>
>>34991133
Tending and brushing hair tends to be relaxing to most people, possibly from the similar feeling as our ancestors felt about being groomed
>>34991119
It’s more how Pegasi have such a mixed reaction to such news that they partake in something similar to their most intimate activity
>>
>>34991165
Oil filters are oddly good at “suppressing” “noise”
>>
>>34991222

I think air pellet guns are quite legal since they aren't "fire"arms, but don't quote me on that. You'd probably have to check your area's laws and whatnot.
>>
>>34991242
Pellet guns won’t do shit to them unless it’s point blank in the medulla oblumgata at full power
>>
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>>34991258
spoilered for extremely unsportsmanlike conduct
>>
>>34990653
submersion in water makes me dissociate like a motherfucker
so no to the swim unless the Portalling filters out brain problems
>>
>>34991325
>submersion in water makes me dissociate
???
>>
>>34991222
This fucking pic gives me a giggle every time
>>
>>34991332
Have you calibrated your central nervous system lately, Anon?
>>
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have a cute Epona before I lose consciousness
>>
>>34990365
very talented mare
>>
>>34991650
Daww she followed anon to dreamland, what a good pony.
>>
>>34991661

she can't be your best steed at all times if she isn't at your side in dreamland
>>
Between batches of anons Cadance has a little heart to heart with her newest subjects, to catch up on any news of developing projects the men may be working on. It helps to prevent anything from getting too out of hand and it’s just always nice to stay in touch with your charges. The men have been coming along well and their mares have nothing but absolute praise for Cadance. She was just trying to help how she knew best, but she may be more popular than even Celestia for the time being
>>
>>34990757
Thats what the sedative she pricked you with at the start was for, silly.

>>34990813
>Both parties dropping spagetti hard as they nervously introduce themselves and get aquainted over a dinner.
>Meanwhile cadence is pic related over in the corner siphoning off their excess emotions so both of them can function beyond just staring into each others eyes and/or overloading the human.
>Gradually reducing her influence as they get used to each others presence and out of the danger zone.
>Doctor stationed in the room estimates at least an hour before she can safely leave.
>Taking every ounce of her willpower not to immediately go home and snuggle her husband.
Being loved so much it's a health hazard would be weird.
>>
It's a great, big Universe,
And we're all really puny,
We're just tiny little specks,
About the size of Mickey Rooney.
It's big and black and inky,
And we're all really dinky!
It's a big Universe, and we're not!
>>
>>34988083
She died because >>34987992 denied that her love for him was real.

Nice job, asshole.
>>
>>34991965
>Dead mare
Don't even entertain that idea.
>>
>>34992018
Every time an Anon says, "She isn't real," or "I don't believe in love," a mare drops down dead.
>>
>>34992043
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBsXiTDIahA
>>
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>>34992043
I'm glad it doesn't work that way. This has already been proven by Power Point.
>>
If 3DPDs were all turned into mares would that make them desirable? Or is mare more a state of mind rather than being?
>>
>>34992164
>If 3DPDs were all turned into mares would that make them desirable?
Does not compute. Their essence is too tainted to turn into mares.
>>
>>34992164
Are we talking about thots with mare bodies or just having their mass converted into mares with no personality continuity?
>>
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>>34992164
The appeal of 2D in general, not just mares, is their freedom of from the modern society that shapes as humans. Thots will be thots no matter how many dimensions they have.
>>
>>34992221
I know it's a ponified meme, but it kinda rubs me the wrong way regardless. Just because I want to marry a mare does not mean I want to shit on stallions.
>>
>>34992043
Does that mean mares are chaos beings?
Is Cadance a chaos goddess?
>>
>>34992221
Yeah, but mightn't you get paper cuts from sexing them?
>>
>>34992243
Not if you become 2D yourself.
>>
>>34992226
Agreed, stallions are bros. For the most part.
>>
>>34992174
Yes your run-of-the-mill human thot. If by some circumstance they were all turned to mares what the opinion on them be?
>>
>>34992301
>thots in a pony body
>what [would] the opinion on them be?
Complete and utter heresy.
>>
>>34992301
I don't hink you understood the question.
What, precisely, do you mean by "turned into"?
>>
Will the ponies open the portals to save the Anons from the coronavirus?
>>
>>34992309
I assume he means thots keep their vile spirits and are transformed into mares.
>>
>>34992322
Sickening.
>>
>>34992318
>ponies open portals
>coronavirus gets through it to Equestria
>due to magic shenanigans it turns into a mare
>she wants a husbando now too
>>
>>34992322
Yes. I was wondering if any would accept the horrifying reality of a thot if the body was a mare or if physically a mare would be enough.
>>
>>34992352
>I was wondering if any would accept the horrifying reality of a thot if the body was a mare
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZQxgGcrGbI
>>
>>34992340
god that's cute
>tfw no chinkshit meme virus mare
>>
>>34992411
I think those are just Kirin
>>
>>34992474
But Kirin are not ridden by diseases.
>>
>>34992535
new
>>
>>34992301
As the logic of a local autist goes, MAN AND MARE. So therefore it's good.
>>
>>34992629
Fuck off, it's heresy. A mare is pure in body and spirit.



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