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/mlp/ - Pony

Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.

Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 295! Five more threads and it all comes to a head!
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290 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread34704384
291 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34746101
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293 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34852152
294 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34893214

Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here: >>34893214

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and stuff used in these stories!
Check it out here:

Confused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here:

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/, and HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY BEST PRINCESS!
First for AJ needs to rule Altquestria
That’s a big pony butt
It does look like Spike is about to shoot AJ.

I mean damn man, you can still hook up with Rarity.

>Tia? Gotta question.

"I'm not Celestia!'

>Yes, ya' are.

"No, you don't understand-"

>Yer' trickery and wordplay ain't gonna save ya'.

"No, seriously! I'm not-"

>Ah've always wondered, what's Luna's neck thing made out of.

"Her what!?"

>Yours is gold, right? So what's hers made out of? Obsidian? Some kinda rare gem?

"Its just dark wood we painted."

>Dark wood?

"Yes! Obsidian is glass you ninny, and precious gemstones aren't something you can make into a solid block! Why would you think that this giant thing around her neck is made out of some rare material!?"

>Because yours is gold.

"Pffft? So? She doesn't want to copy me."

>Could'a made it silver.

"That, er, um, well that would be just cliche and doesn't fit the night."

>Silver color doesn't fit the moon?

"Ah. I see where you're coming from on this, but no, its much too white!"

>Fine, use platinum.

"But that's rarer than gold and-oh."

>Yer' sister's got an inferiority complex by cheapin' out and ITS ALL YER' FAULT!

"We've established this! Why do you hurt me!? Why!?"

>Oh, shucks, Ah' thought you'd jump out the window or somethin'.

"Why do you make me suffferrrrr!?"

>This is not how this was supposed ta' go.

>Show has her end up without children

You know even without the emails you could tell they really hated AJ because ORANGE MAN BAD but still, that was over the line.
Best sister
Pinkie Preview Prophecies

>Applejack asks how anybody could even like honeydew.
>I laugh at depression!
>Rainbow Dash encounters a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on rainbows.
>Berry Punch tries Pinot Noir.
>Big Mac almost drowns in a pool.
>You better believe that Trixie's got tricks up her sleeve.
>The Crusaders find out that Bojack the horse is gone and everything is a little horse now.
>That's Too Much Mare fanservice.
>Berry Punch tries Pinot Noir.
I don’t get it
File: 314433.png (41 KB, 533x495)
41 KB

>They just stood around doin' nothin'?

"Pretty much. They won't obey her, but the Baels still recognize Celestia as being off-limits."

>Is that why you didn't bother bringin' Joshua?

"Truth be told, I just pulled ahead of him and the ground troops. Wasn't really a conscious decision."

>Well, make it one next time ya start mobilizin' the guard like that. You shouldn't just leave your troops and bael behind after callin' on 'em just 'cause you're gettin' worked up."

"Duly noted, Princess."

The stern look she held softens in light of his wistful tone.

>Already told ya Ah'm not Princess anymore.

"I know, but you'll still hound me with questions and critiques the same as always."

>You're dam right Ah will!

"Of course..."

>So, where's Josh anyways? Is he still far behind?

"He's outside patrolling the homestead until further orders. Focused on that singular task."

=== Elsewhere ===


>Grrr... Big Apple is back, but she will get no licks or nuzzles! None! Not until she pays tribute with a thousand belly rubs- HRM?

Cautiously, the tiny dog stalks out of her resting spot and peers at her surroundings.

>...Hrm... I thought I heard-


Space thoroughly invaded by a beast of stone and wood, she quickly leaps away into a defensive stance and fixes "him" with a glare.

"Hey, big sister! It is I, the bestest-greatest-goodest boy, here to see you!"

>You have seen me!

"I have!"

>And now you will leave!

"I won't! I wanna play! Can we play?"

>NO! We will not play! You will leave!

"I don't want to!

>Then you invite destruction upon yourself! GRRRR-RAAH! *HRR CHOMP GNAW GRRR GNAW CHOMP!*

"...Sister says we can't play, but does nibbles of playtime. Sister is weird. But funny!"

>These are not the nibbles of playtime! They are the bitings of battle! The harbingers of your destruction! *CHOMP GRRR CHOMP CHOMP!*

"They tickle!"

=== Backwhere ===

*Distant Barking and Warbling*


"...Yep... Focused."
File: pajs AU arc.gif (2.51 MB, 445x246)
2.51 MB
2.51 MB GIF
IT is the good girl!
That’s really damn cute
>she will get no licks or nuzzles! None!
Respect yourself
If Glimglams super awesome sekrit special surprise is something underwhelming and Salt just promptly zaps her out of existence I may finally come around on the guy
That would be classic

>That's right, the lucky thing I'm tempting you with it... TWO HORN!


>Woooooo so much power.


>The mostest-


"Thought I was gonna get two dicks..."

>Teeny? Can we take Flurry back to the baby store?


'Two, you know that's not how that works, you showed up immediately after Cadence had the baby, we didn't buy her.'

>No no, Ah' mean the actual baby store. Sissy didn't get what she wanted.

'She literally can't hold anymore! Look at those hooves! They are stuffed! Stuffy hooves!'


>And now there ain't nothin' in no hooves.

'We bought you everything you wanted!'

>Pretty sure sissy wants the world so that there is a lie.



~I have returned with the item she wanted.~

'...Is that a pen?'


'She wanted the pen!? We bought her dozens of... she wanted the pen!?'

~I thought it was obvious.~


~I think he went to his job.~

'He's a homeless bum he doesn't have a job!'

~As a previous homeless bum, I take offense to that.~





>Think yer' supposed to give the pen back now. After ya' pull it outta' yer' side.

'Autumn Blaze'

>I'm noticing a lot of streamers. Why are there streamers?

"We're having a festival!"

>A what?

'An organized series of concerts, plays, or movies, typically one held annually in the same place.'

>...Are you reading the dictionary there?


>I meant what is it about.

"Then you asked it in a very odd way."

'Yeah, that's on you.'

>I ask how I want!

"I'm the Queen, I can answer how I want."

>I am A Queen, so I can complain how I want!

'Wait you're a what now.'

"And you're cute, so you can huff all you want."

>...I'm not huffing.

'Wait one more time what now?'

>Fine, what is this for, exactly?

"Its a dating festival. If you're single, you try to find someone to meet up with!"

>Everyone's wearing masks. And sounds like a distorted vuvuzela when they speak.

'Its about finding the love on the inside.'

"The face and body does not matter, you're finding based on shared interested and chemistry!"

>What if a brother and sister hook up down there?

"Have you seen the size of our village?"

'We don't care."

>...I genuinely don't know how to respond to this.

'You wanna try it out?'

>No thank you.

'Guarantee there's no sister of brother of yours down there.'

>Nevermind, I said!

"She doesn't need it."

>Maybe I do.

"You've had your foreleg over my back this whole conversation."

>...I thought it was a wrestling festival.

"I'll wrestle with you if you'd like, but if you pin me down-"

Weirdly cute
>When you have a personal bitchboy who doesn't show up

I love how Chitty always seems to make friends wherever she goes without meaning it. Its a weirdly consistent thing with the theme of the show.

Now don't put her in stone.
Its so we have something to hurt her with when we kill them all

>...soooo, if someone was messing with you specifically to make you act a certain way, what would you do?

"Kill them."

>...beg pardon?

"If they're trying to get me to do something specific, clearly their intentions have far reaching ramifications that will do far more damage if left alone. I would simply kill them and toss them aside, thereby preventing anything they intended."

>Huh... and you really think that's worth it to stop a catastrophe?

"Who said anything about a catastrophe."


"By the way, my mother in law will be in town next week, I'm going to need the month off."

>Yeah I'm gonna say no on that.

"But the half off bonesaw sale is that week!"
Leave Rainshine Alone!

She is a good girl!
Does this mean we can kill Autumn?
We can kill whoever we like.
Seriously, why do they even have a Tiempo if they can't use him to block Flurry Shots?
You can't kill my sense of wonder

>Hey, dweeb, I heard your leaders are dead or some shit.

"And you came to offer your help?"

>I came to laugh at you.



"Are you going to do that?'

>I was, but you're so pathetic it would make me feel bad.

"Charming, absolutely charming."

>Call me the chirpy charmer.

"Can I?"

>I'll tear your fucking throat out.

"I'll just stick with your name when I figure it out then."

>So, since your leaders are gone, I was thinking about taking some land.

"Our army is fine."

>Bleh, we can take them.

"You can't even take who's in this room."

>You threatening me, pony?

"No, but the spider on your shoulder is."

>Pffft, like I'm falling for a prank like that. Me and Dash were keen prankers! There's no-




'Bluey ya' gotta stop using me to scare anyone you don't like.'

"I absolutely will the second it stops working.
Spiderlings, the cause, and solution to, your fear of spiders
We haven't seen her tickle anyone in a while now.

>...My ticklin' sense is tingling.



>Hey, Mane-Iac! How ya' doin?

"GOOD!... Tickle this baby."


"She's upset."



Several minutes of tickling later

>There! All Ticka'd out!



>No prob! We need to regroup the ticka-hugga group!

"I'll mention that to Two in about five minutes!"

>Oh? I she here?




>That's a closet. Mane-Iac? Thats a closet, you're going into a closet-


>...Maney?... Mane-Iac? You gonna come out of the closet?

She opens the door.

Nothings inside.

>>No prob! We need to regroup the ticka-hugga group!
I missed this one.
We have a lot of groups that never talk anymore.
She has the fluffiest chest, she has to be protected.
Who were the members? Two, Maney and Arana?
I think that's right.
They must ticklehug agaiN!
With a village that small, why do they need a dating festival?
They're Swingers?
They do love Jazz...
>Winona hasn't seen AUJ yet

She has not given her enough doggie treats and belly rubs to earn it.
When was the last time AUJ showed her affection?
Pinko when both hugged her
Oh right
She had granny
That was the sweetest thing

>You know, I don't think I got your deal.

"Yeah, whats up with you?"

'I'm Shining Armor's best friend.'

>Oh... why don't I ever see you, then?

'I spent more than a year in a comic book which erased my existence from the real world.'

"Oh yeaahhhh."

>So what about now?

'Now I'm mostly filing orders that say I'm... like, existing now.'

>Ah. Lotta paperwork.

'And trying to avoid Shining on occasion because it feels like the longer I'm in proximity to him, the more stuff tries to kill me.'

"I've noticed that!"

>Yeah! What's up with that?

'I'm guessing his dick magnet works on more than just mares.'

>Your theory is brilliant and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

'I'm just glad it didn't work on Mane-Iac.'

"Or... did it?"



>I don't know what to do, buddy.


'How long has he been like this?'

>Hours! He's just sitting there, staring at the castle's kitchen! I don't know what he wants!

'Screamy? Buddy? Can you tell us what's wrong here?'

>Do you need to scream?

"Well, yeah! But not now, she's crying. I'm not a monster."




'...I'm out.'


>Seeing stars through time and space

>Ya' know, Ah' haven't actually asked what changed in Ponyville since he took over.

"Law wise? Nothing, dude didn't even put in a curfew when Manehatten got lit on fire."

>Ah' would've.

"I know you would've. But he felt like we were overstocked enough that such a thing would only look bad."

>Don't care.

"I know you don't. But on the whole, nothing changed. Couple of guys got Magitech and went to work in Canterlot, but other than that? Its cool."


"The most impact he had was making multiple couples more prevalent."



>How's that working out?

"Scrapper had to pull Lily Valley and Blossom off of Pokey Pierce three days ago because he called one of them "The prettiest". No, we don't know which one he called that, they both seemed terrifically pissed about it."


"Yeah, the whole "Well if our leader does it, we should do it too!" idea hasn't worked out very well around here. Our domestic disturbances have tripled."

>And its all his fault?

"Well, he never specifically said to do it, so more-"

>Ah'm gonna say it.

"I'm just saying personal responsibility-"

>Ah' will absolutely tell him it when Ah' see him again.

"Fine, you do you."

>Any of them workin' out?

"Diamond Tiara's new moms are awesome, according to her."


"You, uh, don't seem shocked about that."

>Ah'm not.

"Ah... so-"

>Call mah' sister a blankflank will ya'...

"You know, pettiness isn't"



>Nobody cares.

"...I know."

>Okay! Here's an idea, why don't you try dating someone else and see if the same feelings persist?

"But I don't wanna date someone else, my problem is him dating more as it is. How does adding in even more on my side help?"

>To um... see how he feels?

"So I'm like... getting back at him?"

>Well no, nothing like that, that would be mean, I'm just saying if you looked to someone else maybe you could also fill the parts of your life you feel he's neglecting.

"He's not really neglecting me, he makes time for me anytime I drop by. He could seriously be going to town on one of them and if I stop by he'll try and keep up a conversation. Its surreal, honestly, you ever see someone doing something like digging a hole but trying to talk at the same time? All the strain and focus and they keep trying to talk? Its so weird! So like... that parts fine, I just wish I didn't have to share him so much, you know? But at the same time I'm only with him because someone else shared when I messed up, so its all flippy floppy! I'm asking for all the cake I didn't want at first even though the one who bought it gave me a slice!"

>...Okay then, Shiny Idea! Talk to him about it and see if maybe you can find common ground or a better relationship with the others you currently don't like.

"That sounds a little better. Why didn't you start with that?

>Because this idea is also kind of vague but the first idea was so bad you don't even question it.


>I was not supposed to say that part.


>S'cuse me while I cuddlehuddle for a second.

"By the way, did you kiss Chrysalis? That... that's pretty weird-"

>I've actually kissed her a lot, its not that weird.


>Be right back!

"...starting to see why she lost the job..."
This... seems reasonable.

Chrysalis is bad at love advice.
>Chrysalis is bad at love advice.
In hindsight that should have been obvious

>Maybe I should talk about this with someone else...

She looks over.

An Applejack is staring at her, hard.

"Buck ya' to the mooooooonnnn."

>Or I can wait.
AUJ needs help on her flirting

>Hey, Delight? Let's say a friend of mine is in a relationship with a guy in a relationship with multiple girls, who she's not all that into, and she kinda wants the guy all to herself-

"I'd say she should worry about the day the majority eventually bands together to vote her out.

>They wouldn't do that! She's too awesome!

"Wouldn't they? Assuming every girl knows about and is ok with his numerous partners, in some capacity they presumably all want the guy to themselves too if they're falling all over themselves to get in a relationship like that, so dwindling down the more vocal competition seems logical."

>Well, that- I mean- maybe, yeah, but Shining wouldn't let- er...

"...Shining? You mean Shining Armor? The Emperor? What does he have to do with your mysterious 'friend'?"

>Fuck you, that's what!
>Besides, its not like anyone would do that to my friend, they wouldn't turn on their friend like that!


>Applejack is staring into the back of my head, isn't she?

"She looks like she's about to stab you with something."

>Should I move?

"I don't think that'll help.
AJ and AUJ should bang
A bold stance.
>He could seriously be going to town on one of them and if I stop by he'll try and keep up a conversation. Its surreal, honestly, you ever see someone doing something like digging a hole but trying to talk at the same time?
...That is a hilarious mental image

>When are ya' finally gonna talk ta' other me?

The current Wonderbolt captain truly wished she could say that was the oddest thing she'd heard today.

"I've been talking to her all day."

>No, ya've been snipin' at her from across the room like Applebloom when she got the slingshot, ya' ain't said two words that didn't make it sound like ya' wanted ta' punch her in the face.

"Thought you Applejacks liked it when we were honest."

>We do, which is why ya' need ta' drop it already.

The blue nose turned up into the air in an odd move that reminded Applejack more of Rarity than her normally brash friend.

"I've said all I need to with her over the last couple of years, I've finally got by blood pressure to the point where my doctor stopped screaming at me when he saw my test results and I want to give the guy at least a vacation."

>Ah' get you had some issues with her choices.


>But as someone who went the other way, it might not have been the worst idea-

"Then at least I would have had a chance!"

The way the alicorn recoiled, one would swear the blue mare had spat acid.

"At least then I could have tried to prove myself, but I didn't even get a chance with the academy! It was all "You've gotta maintain this weather system" and "Its better if you just do what you're best at I have a whole airforce" and on and on! You know what its like to hear from your friend that she wants you to go do glorified traffic duty for clouds when she knows you've been working your whole life to be a Wonderbolt? Oh, wait, you do! Because you're the same pony!"

The princess winced at the thought.

>That there is pretty debatable. Me and her, we don't see a lot eye to on some things, but one thing we did agree on was if ya' weren't the best for the job, you shouldn't have it.

The rainbow mane was on full display as she turned her back on the mare.

"Think I've done a pretty good job, thank you very much."


>Have you? Lemme ask you somethin'... how much paperwork do you do?

"Barely any, why?"

She waited, as if that response was supposed to be all she needed to say.

"Oh, don't give me that. I do low amounts of paperwork because I delegate properly, I have good ponies working underneath me handling all but the really important stuff, and I handle that really important stuff!'

>You've been down here on a farm the night after a major attack on yer' city all day and nobody's come ta' talk to you, even though they're about to mobilize a whole lotta you accordin' to that fella.

That sting was enough to render her completely silent.

"I have everybody ready to go, you know, because I'm a good Wonderbolt Captain, who has all of her Wonderbolts ready to go and don't need to be babysat."


She turned on her, jabbing a hoof under her blue nose.

"Oh yeah, I can't pull it off, but supposedly the captain of the guard who only got word well after me, he can pull it off and hang out in the barn because he really wants to arrest a magicless mare!"

Two sets of eyes briefly cut over to the oblivious pegasus in the room.

>Alright, fair point. But Ah'm just tryin' ta' tell you that if you don't take a more proactive approach, its gonna blow up in yer' face just like it did ta' Mah' Dash.

"Oh yeah? What did she get fired for?"

>...okay maybe not exactly the same.


>Lets just say components are missin'... or dead...

This particular wince stung worse than normal.

"Fine, I'll do more stuff."


"Oh come on, I just got rid of one Applejack telling me what to do! I didn't ask for another one!"

Much like how those words stung a lot worse than normal.

>...Ah' guess it ain't mah' business.

"You're damn right its not."

>Ah' just thought about Mah' Dash, is all, and iffin' Ah' ever got in a fight with her like this, Ah' wouldn't want anythin' more than to be friends with her again.

The loud mouthed pegasus was, for once, silent.


>Cause she ain't got forever, not anymore, and you ain't got forever either. Ya' have a lot of good years behind ya' bein' friends, and a lot of good times that ain't goin' away. She already lost everythin' else, and it sounds like you lost a lot too... maybe thing's will get better if ya' both finally got somethin' back?

She didn't say a singe word as the orange hoof laid on her shoulders.

>Ah'm not gonna tell ya' how ta' live, lord knows ya' have had enough of that from someone with this ugly mug, all Ah' can tell ya' is after seein' you? Next time Ah' see mah' Dash, Ah'm gonna hug her, and be thankful that even though things went wrong in mah' world, after it all finished fallin' down, we were still friends. And we're gonna be, from now till that last apple falls outta' the tree. It feels pretty good, ya' know? Knowin' that whoever comes and goes, whatever happens with whoever yer' with now or will be in the future, whatever fancy title ya' got or don't got ten years from now, someone will still be there... and they'll still be yer' friend.

She was just as silent when the hoof left her, and the mare moved to leave her to her thoughts.

>Iffin' ya' need ta' talk, Ah'll hear ya' out, won't even be biased, Ah' promise. Trust me, Ah' know... Ah've got a heck of a thick head sometimes, no matter which universe Ah'm in. Sometimes you need help beatin' some sense into it. We Applejacks can be pretty thick sometimes.

She did just that, and even in the much too crowded household, in the corner she sat in...

"Guess we still have that in common..."

She felt very alone.

Someone finally talks to her!

Applejacks taking your friendship thing...
Hey yeah!

Twi get your ass in there!
Friendship, finally!

>Can we swap, please? She keeps talking about cuddling my brother.


'Yer' on yer' own with that one.'
...very odd thing to say in this show.
We literally have almost no characters in the main universe who don't have friends.

Even PENNYDROP had friends!
>What does he have to do with your mysterious 'friend'?"
Considering his entorage, she probably means one of 5 mares in the world he's currently fucking.
Unreliable, Skywarp is
When you can teleport away from your problems, there’s always an exit
Thanks Yoda
AJ and Rarity should bang
Spike. You forgot to add Spike to that sentence
Spike had his chance!
Are Ralt and Lunalt looking for alt Cadance or did they forget? Or was that someone else that Cadance asked that too?
Ralt had Altwi look for her because she and Lunalt had to go hide in Regverse after Altwi spied on them and accidentally broadcast them having sex to the whole castle, opening them up to being hounded. Altwi apparently had a lead on her in Our Town and traveled there, where she found Fizzle and 13 next to a wrecked city and assumed they were responsible. She captured them but had to teleport back after AUJ returned in order to fight her; and following that she needed time to herself which was interrupted by Salt and then later dealing with 13 and Fizzle and what they knew, then the city exploded.

It’s been a weird week for her
She’s had a hard life
For us!

Wait shit you forgot to say knock
Altwi has had a really bitter year
Salt and Shining should bang
A bold stance

>You know what?... I quit.


"Thou art not our Twilight!"

>I'm the new twilight now shut up and let me sulk!

"...are we now best princess?"



>Okay, so we learned something important. We're learning, this is a learning experience.

The princess of friendship would respond, she would just have to wait for her hair to stop changing colors first.

>Key among them, do not stick your head in the portal.

"I got that."

>You did, right to the face. What did you see in there?

"It looked... rounder. Also, terrifying."


"So if I hear Scootaloo say "Party" and bounce on a bed I might just have ptsd flashbacks."

>Who's Scootaloo?

"That's your question from that?!"

>Right! Nevermind!

"Just don't put that thing in there unless I tell you to."

>That's what she said!

"She who?"

It was a long wait for the implication to sink it, but when it finally did, it was all the more worth it.

"Sunset why."

>Ha haaa.


>Why does it bother you? Its not like I'm sleeping with the one from your universe... yet.

"Sunset, no!"

>Kidding! I'm kidding! He's as much as I can handle anyway. Tell you, alicorn stamina is some kind of bullshit, like how to you fit so much magic inside of yourselves?


>Actual magic! I didn't even mess with you this time!

"Why do all of you like to hurt me so much..."

>Is finding out your brother is good in bed really that hurtful?

The glare, she would remember that forever.

>Just so you know? You're just as easy to mess with in this universe.

"So! Why were you in Baltimare again?"

>I told you that already.

"Tell me again, for posterity."

The roll of her eyes made it clear she saw through the obvious ploy, but she nonetheless played along.

>I'm making new ships over there for the navy. Super ships that will cut through anything on the open seas!

"Huh... you know, I didn't think about it before, but when did you learn how to make ships? I thought your area of expertise was magic and magical constructs, not engineering."

>Eh, I branched out.


>Like... a year ago?

Something didn't add up.


"You've only been studying engineering for a year and you're the one building the new navy's ships?"

>They're good ships, I copied a lot of designs from that world.

"But there wouldn't be a lot of experience there. You never built a ship in that world."

>You don't know.

She clearly did.

>Alright, so maybe I asked real nice and wowed him with some pictures and big words, but its working fine thank you. Even the professional ship builders that work there admit my designs are inspired, even if I messed up a couple things.

"But you're still the one in charge."

She shrugged.

>I mean, technically I don't have a title or anything, but I don't hear too many arguments...

"Did he really just... give you that?"

>Hey, asking to work for Equestria to make it safer is pretty low on the list of requests, no? Rarity got a whole theater inside Canterlot, they built a whole observatory just for Luna, Fluttershy got entire plots of farmland returned to something habitable for animals and do not even get me started on Ever Essence, I swear she listens to that mare who works for the society more than Shining. So many changes! Almost as bad as Cherry Jubilee wanting a dozen Magitech guards for her business.

If she had been hoping to dismiss the concerns, she had failed spectacularly.

>Don't give me that look, its not like I'm a gold digger or anything. I don't even ask for money that often, barely ever really, and he's the best stallion I've ever been with! He's sweet, kind, strong. He's like Flash... only an adult with actual authority and experience in bed.

"Did he really give them all of that?"

She wouldn't take the bait, she wasn't led astray.

>Well... yeah? He's the Emperor, and he loves spoiling us...

The princess grew quiet, and eventually, returned to work.

>Aw, come on, its not like we're using him.

"I'm sure."

>We care about him, really.


Eventually, she stopped pushing, and got to work as well.

The sooner they left, the better.
Now I ain’t saying she’s a Golddigger
Wow, they are really taking him for a ride
Reminder that Sunset is technically a statutory rapist.
Not in her universe!
>"So if I hear Scootaloo say "Party" and bounce on a bed I might just have ptsd flashbacks."

It's a 3.5 refernce

>Darling? Helloooo?

It was never a good sign when the normally comically accessible door was sealed shut. She could not recall a time when the thing had even been closed, let alone locked. Worry slipped into her heart as she gently placed her hoof on the scanner, waiting until the magic sensed her body down to its most minute of detail. If a single flake of skin had been off, she reasoned something terrible would have happened.

Instead, thankfully, the door just opened like it should.

>There you are!... Not being conspicuous at all.

The other alicorn didn't even bother trying to hide she had just finished stuffing something into another room, not even a glimpse of it had been seen before whatever it was had been sealed behind thick steel and several noticeable locks.

>How are you, darling?

"Just chipper."

The bitterness could have turned sugar to the texture of the blackest coffee.

>Oh, Spike! There you are! I wondered where-

"Don't talk to him."

The dragon in the corner whimpered in sadness, keeping his head hung low and pointed at the wall he was currently facing towards. He didn't even glance back to look at the white pony.

>Darling, I'm afraid I'm out of the loop on what wrong Spikey-Wikey has managed this go round, but surely it can't be-

A bubble of magic formed around the drake. Once done, the fashionista realized she could no longer hear his whimpers, not even his breathing.

>Oh dear. That bad, truly?

"That bad."

Twilight settled into her chair after that, sinking deeply into the cushions and turning them around so she didn't even look towards her friend or the dragon beside her.

>Oh dear... well, you will have to fill me in.

"I will, as soon as I can say it without screaming at the top of my lungs. Is that all you wanted?"

>Well, no, actually there was another teeny weeny matter I was hoping you'd made progress on? A certain favor I asked before my, ahem, brief vacation?



Two hooves flew up over to top of the tall chair.

>I take it things didn't go well.

"No, they did not! I thought I had her location tracked down to this town, only the whole damn thing looked like a blast had gone off next to it thanks to the giant dragon and I got my mind read by a freaking changeling!"

Slow, steady blinks did little to help her piece together the puzzle in front of her.

>I feel I'm missing some... context.

"Fine, I'll tell you all about that too! Because unlike some ponies, I try to keep my friends in the loop!"

>Well, I should hope, but what does that...

When the head snapped around, the burning look emitting from it felt like it had somehow turned up the thermostat in the room to uncomfortable levels. Pointedly, the gaze slid to her midsection, and bore into it.

>Oh... um... surprise?

Slowly, she turned back around.

>I see. So, am I to take it that Celestia, ahem, shouted some things recently that have crossed your path? Things of a certain... familial nature? Or future familial nature, I should say?

"Oh, she shouted a lot of very colorful language to all of my guard, but I've known about this since before everything started to explode! Shining just so happened to let me in on this little plan of yours! Now, of all times, now!"

Her bitter sarcasm went unnoticed.

>Wonderful, then! You know, I was thinking you could help me with the baby... shower...

Those words felt quite thick in her throat as the alicorn spun on her chair.

>...Congratulations, best auntie? You're still ahead of Sweetie Belle in case you were wondering.

"What were you thinking!? Do you have any idea what this means for your future!? Do you have any idea how much this is going to change!? Your body and your whole life will never be the same!"

Quick eyes jutted side to side at the white wings now spread out before they landed on her friend again.

"You know what I meant!"


>Darling, myself and Shining are together and presumably will be happily ever after, and what story of a prince and princess doesn't end with a happy family in the mix? It was going to happen eventually, that's just how the story goes.

"That's what I mean! You're still caught up on the whole fairy tale romance thing! Don't you see how silly that is!?"

>She says... to the princess who was not a princess a week ago... who's beloved is essentially a prince... after he swept her off her hooves from her mundane life and turned her into royalty out of the love he held for her!

Twilight honestly could not say what frustrated her more, how dumb that all sounded when said out loud, or how little she had to counter it.

>Darling, I really hope you won't be like dear Celestia, poor Luna is currently drowning her sorrows in cookie dough ice cream because she's so upset her sister reacted badly to the whole thing. Truly, I could think of nothing more wretched then to have you treat me or the future one in anger over something like true love.

"I'm not..."

She held up a hoof, as much to calm herself as it was to keep Rarity from speaking any further on the matter.

"I'm not mad at you and I don't hate you or anything. I get that... look, I get you're an adult, I just really think this whole idea is stupid, really short sighted, really stupid, probably going to cause a bunch of problems, really stupid... did I mention this is stupid?"

>I missed it if you did.

"But even if I want to throttle you for signing on to this... stupid plan, you're still my friend... right?"

>Of course!

That, she felt, was her cue to flap her wings and try to fly close for a wonderful hug. All she managed was bouncing off the side of the chair.

"Are you alright?"

She waved off the concern, brushing herself off and flipping her hair just to make a show of it.


>I'll get the hang of this. This whole, love magic and wings thing, its really a challenge, you know? I thought I would take to wings like a fish to water. I certainly did the last time I had them! But these ones are more... gangly? Like they're not really designed for me.

"Not like butterfly wings, you mean."

She thought she had a response to that.


She was wrong.

>Honestly the wings aren't nearly as worrisome as the magic was, poor Shining was mobbed when my spell went completely wrong! They nearly tore him limb from limb!

The purple pony stared, openly, at her friend and the dismissive way she spoke of something so utterly horrifying.

>And if I'm being honest, darling, that is why I'm a little hopeful you could...

Pointedly, she nudged the side of the chair.

"My plates a little fully, Rarity."

>You did promise, and I'm certainly in no condition to go on a trek.


She waved her hoof, summoning up an entire row of crystals before her that sprung from the console. She carefully laid her hoof on one, and brought magic to her horn.

"Soundcheck? I have a specific mission for you."

~Is it by any chance reconnaissance I'm already doing on the-~

"Just come see me when you can, and ignore whatever Shining told you to do."

~Can do! Finally! Orders I can get behind!~

She lifted her hoof off of it, and every crystal fell back down.

>Thank you, darling! I'll be slinging love magic before you know it!

She grunted, which could have meant anything at all really.

"Is that it?"

>One more teensy weensy little thing?

"Barring all wine from the castle because of your condition?"

>Oh darling, that's just an old wives tale! Wine doesn't hurt babies, mother told me that all the time when Sweetie Belle was on the way!

Slowly, one alicorn looked to the other.

>...oh dear.

"I'll have the staff hide them."

>Please do, I am... easily tempted. But for the other matter!


"Tell you where Shining is so you can avoid him?"

>Avoid him? Darling, don't be silly! I've let him stew in his own regret long enough.

"Its been a couple hours, at most."

>Yes, he's surely learned his lesson about treating me like I would be in danger right after I accidentally mind controlled an entire room to nearly rip someone apart! He knows what he did and I'm done rubbing his nose in it.

Twilight thought about pointing out everything wrong with that sentence.

She realized she didn't have a year to spare, her heart was going to give out any day now.

>No no, I'll let him beg for forgiveness and then thank him properly for the wonderful coronation and work he did to ensure I got my wings, I haven't forgotten all of that!

"Thank him properly?"

White eyebrows waggled, and Twilight wished nothing more than to turn back time.


>Ugh? Darling, how exactly do you think I got in my current "Condition", oh wait! You know exactly how! And in what position-


The tri colored hair slammed hard against her console, again and again.

>Only teasing darling, only teasing. Though, I do wonder if you actually deleted it, or took notes...

"He's in the throne room, Rarity."

>Wonderful! But that's not what I wanted to ask, you really should stop interrupting.

It hurt that she said it. It hurt more that she was right.

>I was just wondering if you could tell me where Celestia is, if you don't mind? Poor Luna is terribly worried about her. She even sent Dash to make sure she wasn't arrested for whatever it was she did.

"She's at Sweet Apple Acres."

>...Well, that was fast.

"I have eyes on the property at all times."

>All times, you say? And they... consented to this?



"But if anyone actually dangerous went that way because of Applejack's mess up, I was going to blow them to Tartarus and beyond first."

>Oh, that's much more sweet.

"All six hundred chunks of them."


>Much less sweet! But if you don't mind my asking, why is she down there?

"She went to go beat up Applejack."


"I didn't stop her, no."

>Ah. Fair enough? Which Applejack is down there, exactly?

"Both of them. All of our "Guests" are."


"No, not miss Sunshine. Sunset's down there instead."

>So, wait, you're saying Celestia is down there... and everyone else too? Applejack for sure is?


Her brow furrowed, Twilight herself unsure what to make of the strange tone in her friends voice.

>So there's also a certain pink alicorn?

It clicked like a lightbulb.

"Yes? She's down there too-"


She finally managed to throw her hooves around the long purple neck, giving her a quick nuzzle of white cheek to lavender in happiness before springing away.

>Then I must do my duty as a fellow Divine and ensure that the sister of my... sister wife? Friend... lover? Its my duty. I have a duty that must be done! So much duty to do, I cannot waste any time! She must be ensured she is safe!

"Dash is down there-"

>Even better! I must ensure she too is safe! For she is also a Divine! See? Everything just snaps into place and points me in the direction I must go! Darling, if you need anything, do call me with one of those fancy little ringamajings that Dash has with her!

"Where's yours?"

She tittered, waving her hoof without a care.

>Oh that thing? I hid it in my room. Poor Shining has been trying to call me all day, no doubt to prostrate himself before me and beg for my favor once more! I'm going to make him stew a little longer...

She trailed off, her eyes looking into the distance.

>Then I'm going to utterly destroy that colt with everything an alicorn can give him. He will be limping for days when I'm done with him.

For once, the other alicorn did not wretch, and she did not gag at the words. She had more important things to think about.

"Wait... does that mean you don't know about the-"

>Ta taaaa!


A flash of white was all that was seen, and then she was gone.

"Ahhhh... shoot. Well, I guess you're spared having her hear what you did for a little longer."

Inside the bubble, the dragon's claws flew up.

"Wait, can you hear me!? Have you been listening this whole time!?"

He turned around, showing the tears streaking down his face, and then turned right back.

"...I am not doing well in this whole magic or friendship thing."
>"...I am not doing well in this whole magic or friendship thing."
>She didn't actually tell her about either event

Goddamn it Twi
Making Spike listen to that was OVER THE LINE
>Says she's in no condition to go on a trek
>Immediately flies to SAA

Rarity you whore.
Okay it is nice Altwi is keeping a tight eye on Sweet Apple Acres and is ready to go full ham on the thing.

That said her bubble game is weak.
So she's okay with Altlestia maybe killing her?

>Ralt in SAA

I'm sure she'll be welcomed with open arms and closed fists
I get the intent of that but literally nobody there has anything to close.

>That's some cute armor you've got on, Captain.

"Excuse me? Filly-Scout Uniforms are cute. This? This is hardy and rugged."

~Don't pay the bug monster much mind, unless ya want a headache.~

>No need to be so hostile, Otherjack. Just paying your guard a compliment.

"I don't want to look cute, though..."

+It is rather nice. The copper coloring is complemented nicely by the red and green of the crest and saddle cloth. Helps you stand out from the gold plates of your soldiers.+

>I wonder who decided on it.

~Ah did.~


~There ain't nothin' cute about it.~

+It is a little cute.+


>You called them the- what did she nickname you guys? The Apple Core?


>That's what I said, but probably spelled dumb.

+And they're decked out in colors you chose, yes?+

~Yeah, but so what if they're a little personalized?~

+I'm just saying, darling. There's a certain charm to thinking about you mulling over that sort of thing.+

>Pretty much. It's cute how you wanted to play dress up with your soldiers.

"Don't talk like we're just pretty faces to oogle and doll up!"

~Hush up for a moment, Delight, and let the mares talk.~

>This is kind of an important discusiion.

+But don't worry, you'll have a moment to speak soon, darling.+

"I- wha- just... grr...."

>Now about the dressup.

~It ain't dressup. It's a serious choice on how best my troops are gonna represent me in my hometown in regards to their appearance!~

>Cute cute cute!


>Did you give them cute little apple-shades like Soundcheck has?

~That wasn't my idea!~

"And, actually, we have visors built in that-"

~What'd Ah say about talkin' to her?!~

"You get to talk to her..."

~And now Ah've got a headache!~


+Well, regardless of what we wish to call it, you've certainly chosen a nice palatte for your Captain's armor. Oh! It's occurred to me that we haven't properly been introduced, Captain Delight, was it?+


+Well, it's nice to make your acquaintance. I am the Princess Rarity of another dimension.+


+The FIRST Princess Rarity, I must clarify. Since I was Princess before your Rarity received the coronation that should have been mine.+

>~Oh, boy.~

+As such, I should be referred to as Princess Rarity Prime. To minimize confusion and be true to the situation, you see.+

"I see..."

+Oughta just call ya Drama Queen instead. Fits your criteria better.+

>It's also title-ist and gives actual queens a bad rap!

~Y'all do that plenty enough on your own!~

>I vote neigh for Drama Queen!

"And it sounds more confusing, honestly. So far, the two aren't much different in that regard."

~Fair point. We could just call this one the Prima Donna.~

"And the one born here a regular Donna?"

~Ah think it works.~

>Has my vote.

"What do you think, Princess Rarity of Another Dimension?"

+I think you all ought to work on your comedy bit.+

"But, seriously, how about I just call you Princess Rarity and we cross the whole 'two of you in the same room' bridge later?"

+I suppose that should be fine for now. It's not like she's going to show up now all of a sudden! What reason would she have to?+

>To check up on Alterjack.

~To help haul Celestia's big butt back to Canterlot.~

"To maybe talk to your Cadence or something because Princess of Love and all that, I dunno."

+All of you hush!+
Yeah, what an odd coincidence that would be...
And racist since nobody else uses that title except Kirin.
>Princess Rarity Prime

Sounds like Prim-ity
>"I- wha- just... grr...."
He knows his place.
She’s doing fiiinnnneee

>Sire, Princess Rarity is on the move.

"OH THANK FAUST FINALLY! I am so, SO backed up right now, I need more than anything right now to just take one of them and go into my bedroom and just-"

>And now she's leaving the city.


>There she goes.


>No one else is heading this way.

"...ngghhhuuuuu buuuuuuu."

>Are you okay?

"I might need to see if I can find some magazines."


"TRUST ME, I know."
Poor white pony
When he finally gets some its gonna look like that scene from Scary Movie
... not the best image
Dude just bang Big Mac, he's easy with it
What's Sugar Belle up to?
About half of what Macs got
I admire her enthusiasm
Sometimes you just have to give it all and hope for the best
Pretty sure this version would have issues
>Big Mac
"Sugar Belle"









'...this is a Library-'

>Ah'm sorry!

"Granny Smith is like a hawk over at his place!"

'Library! Library!'

>We'll be quiet-

Come on Cheer, what good is a library if you can't play OnO in it?
"Silver Spoon"

>You know what I realized? We never hang out, you and me.

"Uh huh."



>How ya' dooooin'?

"Pretty good."



>I can see why they say you have a silver tongue.


"Just ask already."

>Have you and I ever...


>Oh... phew.

"That didn't sound very convincing."

>Well, I mean...


>Is it because I'm not pretty enough?

"I literally am with a guy right now!"

>Its because I'm not pretty enough am I!?

"I just don't want to have a threesome with you!"

>Because you only have threesomes with pretty mares! I'm just not pretty!

"That isn't what I'm saying at all!"

>So I am pretty?

"Yes! Okay!? Yes! You're pretty!"

>Thank you! I try.


>Always nice to hear a compliment.

"...what the fu
She goes the distance for them compliments.

>Gettin' pretty crowded in here...

"Bahhh, it'll be fine."

>Ya'll ain't gotta clean up after them!

"Do you?"

>Maybe! Depends on who Granny looks at first.

'Well, you could tell a certain captain to get his ass out of here.'

~You could also kick out the mare you visibly don't like, or the mare who assaulted you and I should be arresting. There are choices is all I'm saying.~

(Or just get rid of those guards that couldn't stop me anyway.)

>Or Ah' could get rid of you freeloaders!

"Ah've got an apple ta' trade for a room for the night, what'cha got for yer'self?"

>Ah' live here! Now... after Ah' was homeless...

'You can have like, sixty bits, I don't need them.'

~I guess my salary can afford a twenty?~

(I'd offer you my neck thingy... if I hadn't traded it for booze...)

>Ya'll just shaddup! We don't need yer' money or yer' stuff!

"Well Ah' would leave, but someone done made it so that iffin' Ah' walk out, there might be pitchforks and torches waitin'."

>Bah, you can fly.

"So can a third of the ones holdin' the pitchforks and torches."

'And outflying an Applejack doesn't sound that hard.'


~They would not, we have a strict no mob policy in this town.~

>How often does that work?

~We haven't had a mob in three whole weeks, thank you! And the last one was just because the third Strawberry festival was one too far... for this month.~

(I also blame you for my current condition and status, so nyeh.)

>Too bad! Ah' already can barely move, and if one more gaddang pony shows up Ah'm gonna lose mah' mind!

They waited.

>Huh, thought that would end up with-


Way to drop the ball( Ponyville guard
About letting Rarity through? She's a princess.
Right? Like, what are they going to do.


"...or what, exactly?"

>Well shit.

Everyone watched as the mare from above descended slowly, bathing herself in pink and wondrous light. She truly looked like an otherworldly being as she neared the homestead with forelegs out wide and wings beating slowly. It was a sight to behold.

>Your wings are fluffing out!

"Wait what-wah!"

Pausing the beat of those wings to check out this supposed flaw was not one of her smarter choices, but it did put a smile on at least one prissy white face when the one that looked exactly like it fell into the dirt below.

>Darling it just means you needed a slight correction of air resistance, so silly!

The mare on the ground grumbled bitterly at her doppleganger from another world, glaring hard as she stood up and brushed herself off before trying to stand with a more regal stature.

"Ahem... I, Princess Rarity-"


"...I, Princess Rarity-"

An apple smacked her right in the face.

"Okay that was rude."

A carrot followed up on it shortly.

"That was more rude, I think!"

'Leeeeavve! Ah' don't want no more of ya'!'

"Darling, that's simply hurtful!"

Another apple almost hit her in the face yet again, only to stop at the last second. Caught in the air by green magic.

~Me? Cut it out.~

"See? Thank you!"

~Yer' wastin' good food!~

"I'm still calling this a win!"

'Why are you here!?'

She brushed herself off again, standing up straight once more.

"As I was saying, I, Princess Rarity-"

'Cut ta' the damn chase!'

"Darling! Decorum is necessary! I am a princess now, a real one with power and accomplishments, and-"

This time, the apples descended on her from every angle.

"I'm here to check on Celestia and Dash!"

Only to stop inches from splattering all over her.

'Thank ya', Rarity.'

"Don't mention it-"

'Ah' wasn't talking to you!"

Beside her, a different Rarity preened, and put the apples back where they'd come from.


"Me!? How could you! You should know the importance of introduction as we arrive! It simply must be done!"

(Yeah, so I have time to get out of there before you notice.)

A tall, gangly white pony stumbled out into the middle of the porch.

(Ta daaaa now fuck off.)

"I would think you, of all ponies, would know the importance of proper announcements!"

+Are you going to do that every time now? Because I'm not going to your birthday if you're going to do that every time you come into a room.+

Behind her, a blue pony finally floated out from the room, carrying a small bowl of sundried apples wit her.

"You absolutely have to! I need you to use the Wonderbolts to spell out my name!"

~Real good use of resources there, Rare.~

"I'm a princess now, I can have a little bit of fun with my royal airforce!"

Slowly, the blue hoof brought another apple chip to her mouth, and chewed. Never once did she break eye contact with the princess.

'Well looky there, Dash and Celestia sure are okay! Why don'tcha head on out of here now before Ah' have the guard escort ya' kickin' and screamin'!'

{Aha, ahah, its funny you're volunteering me like that as if it was something I could do legally, physically... metaphorically even.}

The stallion tried, unsuccessfully, to hide when she turned his way.

"Oh! Look, its one of the captains of my wonderful guard! Thank you for watching over my home town! Your services are wonderful and you deserve praise for your actions, good work!"

He winced.

{Thank you, Princess Rarity, my new princess who already was near untouchable politically but now is also that in addition to being untouchable magically, did my guard give you a nice clearance as they bowed to you, their new princess as of yesterday who they must now treat like Celestia or Applejack of old?}

"They did, thank you for asking!"

He didn't say it, but they could see him die a little inside.


"He seems nice, I'll have to see if my beloved can budget a slight raise for him!"

Pretty much everyone who heard that felt a little sick, even if their reasons for such varied quite wildly.

{Thank you... ever so much.}

"Of course, darling!"

(Hey, I'm noticing you're still here, when you noticed I was still here, and fine. So whatever Luna wanted you to do-)

"Make sure you weren't drunk."

(...Well then I have bad news.)


(I grabbed a couple on the way here, needed that buzzy strength to kick your ass.)

~You've been drunk this whole time!? Ah' didn't even notice!~

(Buzzed, and for your information I'm a very sane looking drunk.)

{She is. We're not allowed to use breath test on her if she sways, because when she hits that level they explode.}

"Oh dear, a fight? Well I'll have to come ensure you're alright."

'Granny! Get mah' gun!'

{We confiscated that months ago.}

'What!? Why!?'

{Something about Zecora showing up with flowers for Applebloom? Zecora insists they were for a potion but uh, your Granny is hard of hearing, I guess?}

'...Fair enough. Baels! Attack her!'

Off to the side, several of the wooden stone canines began to wag their tails as she pointed, clearly expecting some kind of treat or belly rub.

'Sick her!'

~Or, maybe...~

The still winged Applejack picked up a stick, and threw it. Off the dogs went, howling all the way.

'Why does everyone gotta undermine mah' authority!?'


'Walked inta' that one.'


'Ah' get it!'


A bowl slammed down on her head.

'Thank you.'

+That was for my hearing, not you.+

'Well then you can leave and drag thissun here with ya'.'

"Really, darling, you're being so hostile! I just came down to check on a dear friend of mine!"

(We're not friends.)

"I meant Dash!"

The pegasi froze, blinking rapidly in honest shock.


+Huh? Me? That... huh, that's kind of nice. That... huh, I-+

"And I figured, since I was down here..."

Teeth began to grind.

+Why do I let her hurt me like this.+

"I was wondering if I could speak to a certain... princess?"

>Oh! Oh, I see now!

The Prime Rarity leapt forwards, swishing her hair about as she landed in front of her otherworldly self.

>You came down to get my advice! Of course! You know I've been in the princess game for years and want to hear of all the ways you too can be a princess as wonderful as I, right? Well then I am more than happy to oblige you! Oh, the fun I can share!

She gestured to the other Rarity, and waited. And waited. And waited... and waited. Things rapidly became very awkward.

"Um... well, of course you're a... swell princess, I heard! I was in your world, after all!"

The fake smile did not help matters.

"But well, um... how to put this, my unique powerset is... different. Not better than yours of course! Oh no! We're special in our own way. You're special, just not um, me special?"

Nothing could help the Rarity that struggled to keep the smile she'd had when she leapt forwards. They had to watch as the newly christened princess slowly and painfully made her drown in open air.

"I was hoping more that, well, since my task is done and Celestia is clearly in fine condition-"

(Do you see a bottle? Then that's up for debate.)

"Then I don't need to do anything else-"

Above her, a certain blue pegasus grumbled.

"-perhaps I could have a discussion with... you?"

The ponies of various size and stature parted, allowing a single one among them to step forwards. A very pink one.

=Well, it would be nice to talk without the disguises...=

Grandly, she gestured to the door.

=Come into the classroom of love!=

And the white pony was all too quick to charge in.

"Oh, thank you, thank you thank you!"

'Ya'll do remember that's mah' friggen house right-'

The door shut.


'...Any chance ya'll can arrest them?'

{Ha haaa, ha, hahaha, ahhah.. ah...ahha....haaaaa..}

'...Any chance ya'll can go beat the tar out of her?'

(Give me six shots and I'll make a go of it.)

~You will literally die.~

(And your point is?)

One by one, they ambled back into the house. All except one.

~Rar? Ya' comin'?~

One who stood exactly where she had been before.

~We'll give ya' a minute.~

She was going to need them to stop the pain.
Guess you could say some hopes were... Dashed.
>He didn't say it, but they could see him die a little inside.
I take it he's not going to hit on this one.
>Destroying AUJ, AltDash and Rarity all in one go

>~You will literally die.~
>(And your point is?)
She wouldn't kill her.

Maim her, maybe.
Wow they are rude to AUJ.
They just want Ralt to get a chance to make up with her, in the end they want them to be friends again.
Poor Alt-Delight, he tries.

>So are we going back, or...


>Fine. I'm going to get another bear claw, you want one?

"I'm trying to lose weight!"


"So please get me the biggest, horkiest cake I can drown my sorrows in."
He's also probably going to start seeing some uniform changes soon if Alt-Rarity's possessiveness over the guards is any indication. Battle Skirts 2.0 incoming.
More like battle dresses.
Battle thongs!
...Shit she would do that
Stylish, no?
She wants that workout rush
End it allows for a lot of dodging
Right, maneuverability important

>Bluey? I gotta question.

"Okay someone with an accent asking that of a royal white pony never ends well!"

>How come we ain't got no ambassadors?


>Celestia just visits them herself or sends Twilight... or one time Pinkie Pie.

"Well, Twilight is important, and Pinkie is... fun?"


"Yeah I don't know, she had some flaws about this..."


"You want to be an ambassador?"

>DO I!? No not really it sounds awful.

>So darling, now that I am your goddess and one true princess-


>I have some changes to make to your armorset!

"Is fine. Perfectly practical, durable, able to maneuver..."

>But you need more SHOW! Especially in the back! So I give you... this!

"Is that a slingshot?"

>No, silly! Its your garments!

"It looks like an actual slingshot."

>I might have been inspired by Spikey-Wikey's toychest. Anyhoo, try it on!

"Do I have to?"




"Okay I'm noticing I look like a stripper."

>A strong stripper!

"Is this a sex thing? Are you making us look like this to have us be your personal colt-toys?"

>Darling, don't be silly! I would never ever cheat on my Shining, never! Not once!

"Uh huh..."

>..but momma can look."

She bites on her hoof.

>Momma can look...

>So, how are things with Cheer?

"Good! Very good."


"Yeah... well, there is this one thing."


"Yeah, sometimes..."



'Put on the headdress.'

"So when you saw that movie with the spaceship and the acid blood, did think it was a... porno?"





>I'm not seeing the problenm.
Not so great on protecting the important bits...
They just need a little padding, which incidentally kills two birds with one stone!
Oof, never wanna pad, it only leads to expectations that can't be fulfilled
'AltMrs Cake'



'GAH NOT AGAIN! Hide all the cakes! All the cookies! Hide every fluffy wuffy muffywuffin and get the ear plugs! If I hear "Fun fun fun" I'm gonna lose my sugarbiscuits!"

>Naaahhh, I'm from a whole other dimension!

"Or I might be!"

>We're confusing!

"Not really!"

'...Did nobody else even twitch?'

>Nobody even blinked!

"Seriously, its silly!"

>But now me and Pinkie can have fun together!

'Oh, okay, is this Pinkie from another universe too?'



~You saw nothing!~

A pinkie in a coat runs away.

Does this mean Mathematically, there are four of them?
There are always as many Pinkies as is required.

>Seriously!? There's more!?

"Chryssy no."

>Oh come on!

"She needs love magic advice!"

>Oh! Then I could tell you...


>...To ask Caddy.

"Thank you for your support!"

'Wow, is she whipped?'

>HAH! No!




"Tell Auntie Celestia I finally figured out how to work the whip."

>Ya' know, you could use this as a chance to heal yer' anger with her...


>Could go get some friendships fixed...


>Could go... just... say hi?


>Ah'm gonna say Hi and make you watch.


>Huh, thought ya'll hated that.


>...Ah'd hate that.

"Hey! Not Mah' Rarity! Hi!"

>How dare you!?
NTR, friendship edition?
Would Twilight be into that, or against it?
She'd say she was against it, but... take notes.
Detailed, chilling notes.
After all these years
I’m so proud of her
Right? All grown up..,

>Oh, darling! Thank you ever so much for this, I will be nothing but the most open eared, and open hearted, student!

"That's wonderful to hear! Now what did you do."

>W.. what?

"You came to me in desperation and have looked nervously at your horn three times, you did something with the love magic, what is it?"

>Now, don't be silly, I...

"What did you do?"

>...almost had everyone tear Shining Armor limb from limb out of obsession of him that I amplified while trying to make everyone feel just a tiny bit of love.

"Oh good!"


"No mass wedding, you did fantastic for your first time!"

>Mass wedding!?

"Don't worry, there wasn't an official on high school grounds, it wasn't certified."

>High school!?

"Well the middle school incident wasn't that bad."


"Did anyone try to rough-cuddle with him?"

>Rough cuddle!?

"Snuggle. Snogger. Do the old dance of babies..."


"Have sex.'

>Why didn't you just say that? We've both presumably have had sex!

"Me and Shiny live with small little ears that don't need to know about sex yet. So we have a code, rough cuddle is the favorite."

>He's not that rough until you tell him to be.


>No, nobody tried to have sex with him.


>I was confused about that, actually? Why-

"Because we're the princess of love. Love! Not lust! Lust is no more a part of the feeling of love than anger or hunger! One could be lustful without ever feeling love in their heart nor happiness for the lust they have! Love is a feeling of connection, care and happiness, love is the feeling that ascends beyond physical and can be given as much to one whom you will never feel attraction as it could to one you never dare touch anyone besides! Love is about thought, care, and feeling! it has nothing to do with lust and IF YOU TRY TO MIX THE TWO UP AGAIN ONE MORE TIME I WILL RIP OFF YOUR WINGS AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THEM!"


"First lesson, happy bubbles!"


"It sparkles!"

Never hets old
Perfect Freudian slip?

>So... what exactly am I supposed to do with my love magic?

"Make things feel love."


"This isn't complicated are you stupid?"


"Nothing, nothing! Now lets try something nice and basic, why don't you send some feelings of love towards a pony in the room!"

>Oh... okay.

She paused, focusing her power before finding a target, and then letting loose a tiny little heart which splashed with pink sparkles.


>Wh-uh-I uh-


>I-I don't know, I saw him and thought-

"You tried to use love magic on my Shiny!?"

>N-yes? Um...


>He was the first one I thought about!


>Not your Shiny, my Shiny! It, um...


>Do over?

"How daaareeee youuuuu!"

>...is he hugging Chrysalis-

Goddamn it ralt!
>This isn't complicated are you stupid?"
Damn Caddy...
She has limits

>What do I do here!? What do I do!?

"Such a niccceee buggggg... cuuuutteee bugggg..."

>He's calling me cute! He's calling me cute! We are in the danger zone!

'Just push him off.'

>But I want him to keep hugging me!

'So hug him back.'

>But he's currently being influenced by magic and that's a big thing with us!

'So... I dunno, do nothing?'

>Good call!



"Niccceee bugggg.'

>It did nothing you lying dimwitted drug addled drunkard whore!

'Hey!... I don't lie!'



>...Hit her with apples.

"Ah'm not wastin' anymore on her."

>Hit her with the outhouse! Make her white coat brown!

"Ah' can't lift it."

>Make the trees eat her!

"Ain't got that power."

>Set her on fire!

"Ah' need ta' find a match."


"Not havin' magic sucks."

>Yeah, little bit.

>How did we end up here!?

The stallion in front of him paused, letting the pulley he was operating dangle the mare on the end of it helplessly in the air.


>Why... why are we in a theater!?

"Did you just blank out or something?"

>I feel like I haven't opened my eyes in weeks! Where are we!?

"We're in the theater. You said this... out loud."

'Can we hurry this up?'

The mare paused to readjust her fairy wings.

'This strap is going right in my pits, and this pully is doing all sorts of things to my undercarriage!'

"You can't rush perfection! Sebjek? You in the bushes?"

Eyes opened in the bush in question.

~I have become the bush.~


~No devil... only bush.~

"For a guy who lived in a cave, he knows bushes."

'That's what she said!'

~He is a male. I have seen it.~

"Thanks. I try."

>Why are we here!?

"Alright, assuming you're not joking, we're putting on a play."

>For what!?

"Hearts and Hooves day, so you can hook up with Zecora."

The changeling froze, his eyes glazed over.

>...How did we end up here!?

'At some point, you're going to get bored of breaking him.'

"True, but Faust is gonna have to really lure me inside those pearly gates."

>Why does that bush have eyes!?
Damn, Delight is supriringly in on this.
He really, really, really wants them dreamwalking skills...

>Okay, in with me now. Breath in...


>Out comes the love.

"Out comes the-

The room turned pink.

"OH NO!"

Then a different shade of pink.

>Okay! Trying this again. Breath in...


>Out comes the love.

"Out comes the-"

The room turned pink again.


Then another shade of pink.

>Its alright, this is part of the love learning experience!

"Really? I always thought that was when I pulled out the oils and said happy birthday..."


"Oh, like you haven't."


"No? Not even for the special day? I'm not going to pretend it was comfortable but he certainly enjoyed himself."


"Do you need advice? The trick is to think of it like you're going swimming, and-"

>New plan, breath in.


>Hold it.


>Hold it.


>Hooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllddddddddddddd iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttt-

"GASP!... What is this supposed to do?"

>Give me moments of silence so I don't snap.
They really have no shame.

>Is it safe for us to be here? I'm feeling a weird tingling sensation every time the room lights up.

"That's just love. Or chaos. You are standing a little close to me."

>Isn't love a little chaotic sometimes?

"Mix it with mind-altering magic and a mare that has little control over said magic and it becomes a lot more chaotic. Not 'turn your limbs to taffy' or even 'make your tail a snake quartet that literally sings in chocolate baritone' chaotic, but still."

>...So, are we safe or not? Because that's not really filling me with confidence...

"If your Rarity royally fudges up, Big Mac and Shining will fill you up nicely enough."


"Just a heads up.


"Or bottoms up-"

>Please stop.

>She means with cuddles! Fill you up with cuddles!

"No I don't."

>Completely non-sexual cuddles!

"Not what I meant."

>Because we're using LOVE magic! Love! Not lust magic!

"Same thi-"



'What... what did you just do?'

>I took the love she had for herself and amplified it as high as I can make it go.


>Then I took it away.



>Ahem. Anything to say?

'T-thank you?'

>You're welcome.

That... is a legit brilliant move and I cannot believe I've never seen that before.

Taking the natural love you have for yourself and making it feel hollow is some kind of horror movie shit.
Caddy is terrifying

>Can... Can I do that?

"Sure! In about... six years, if you really try!"


"I've been doing this since I was in school, this isn't something you just 'do'."

>Like Shiny?

"Oh ho, oh ho... love your dresses, don't you?"


>We talking about buttstuff?


'Apparently we are not.'

>Awww, come on, I seriously have been sitting on a pain in my ass joke for months!


>Oh come on that was perfect.

'I appreciated it!'

>Guess you had to be there.

"No more talk about... that!"



>I just want clarification, you've gotta be careful where you aim and let ponies know which is the wrong direction to go.



>It hurts but it was worth it!


>No wait that wasn't a joke-




'...You okay?'


'Soooo, lets try something new-'


'I was trying to change the subject wait-'

Damn, better watch your ass around them
I see what you did there

>You're not wearing contacts, are you?

"Nope. Ah prefer glasses if Ah gotta choose between 'em. Less hassle that way."

>But you're not wearing glasses, either.

"Ah usually don't unless Ah'm doin' paperwork. Even then Ah tend to go without 'em.


"Somethin' wrong with that?"

>It's just weird to see an Applejack that's so...

He appraises her dress, or lack thereof.



~Ya know Ah'm standin' right here, right?~

>What, you don't think you cut an intimidating figure? I thought that was the point.

~There's more to how Ah dress than that. Like lookin' respectable, for one.~

"And turnin' heads for another."

~Goes without sayin' since one leads into the other.~

"That you, Rarity? You're lookin' a little orange there."

~Ah'm lookin' good is what Ah'm lookin'.~

>I'm not saying you look bad! Just a little more intimidating. But you still look great!




"I'd rate ya 5 outta 10. The glasses make ya a 7 at best."

~Then what does that make you?!~

"Ah'm hoverin' at about a 9 or so, truth be told. The ol' rustic charm, ya know?"

~Ah know yer full'a shit.~

>So, you don't actually need glasses?

"Nah, since Ah didn't strain my eyes doin' paperwork nonstop like this'un."

~More like you were slackin' when ya should've been puttin' in more work.~

>Well, all work and no play-

~Yeah, yeah, shut it. At least Ah won't have to deal with as much of that, now...~

She sighs, her brows knitting into a frown as her doppelganger and former subordinate exchange glances.

>What are you gonna do now?

~Get some sleep after you and the other freeloaders get off'a my property.~

>And after that?

Attention shifting to him, their eyes lock for a moment before she looks toward the acres.

~...Get back into the swing of things here, Ah guess. It's about the only thing Ah can do. There's a lot Ah missed out on and, well...

"There's a lotta bridges ya oughta start fixin'."

They follow the doppelganger's gaze to one of the room's occupants: a filly of red mane and yellow coat who, upon noticing their stares, pouts and quickly turns away.

~She mentioned you've been havin' an eye kept on her.~

>Yeah, but I try to give her space. She's not exactly keen on having somepony to constantly watch over her.

~Figured as much. She give y'all much trouble?~

>Not much, mostly sass. Especially of the rhyming class.

The mares look to him and his smile withers under their deadpan gaze.

~Three outta ten.~

"Ah'll give ya a four."


~Ah don't get why she started up with all that rhymin' and bein' like Zecora nonsense anyways. It's just silly comin' from her!~

"Ah'm bettin' it's just a phase she'll grow out of in a month-"

>She's been at it for about eight, but her rhyming has gone from meh to great.

"Hush! And as far as role models go, Zecora's a pretty good one and Applebloom's always been open to her."

>Plus, the kid's been pretty helpful with the potion brewing and whatnot. I'd say the change has been a net positive.


Her tone is gruff and disbelieving, but there's a quiet, curious pride in it.

>Yeah, she's really into it. I think it gave her something new to focus on with you being... gone.

Frustration cooling, she casts another glance the filly's way.

~...She ever talk about me?~

>Usually to tell us to leave her alone since you weren't here, but there were times you could tell she really missed you.

~Could've fooled me...~

>Yeah, well, it's probably not something you should really be hearing from me, anyways. Family matter, and all that. Still, she's stubborn about her feelings, I think.

"Sounds like her big sister."

~Aw shaddup.~

She chances another glance, lingering into a stare as a hoof pats her shoulder.

"She'll come around. Gonna take some work, and Ah reckon there's gonna be a lot of arguin', but Ah know the two of ya can work things out."

~...Ah hope so.~
I’m surprise she didn’t just go see her
I’m sure things will get better with her

>Oh great, more of your friends came into this place! As if we didn't have enough of that brand new race! Thanks for inviting your kin so we can have less room! At this rate we're going to have to clear them out with a boom!

"Ah' didn't invite them and they ain't mah friends!"

'Yes we are.'

"She means Rarity and Celestia!"

'They're yer' friends'

"One of 'em punched me and the other one is deepthroating the stallion who took mah' whole dang kingdom!"

'ME! Applebloom is right there!'

>What, did ya' think I was unaware of what they did? There was a whole video they commented on that could not be hid.

"Wait, video?"

'What video!?'

She leaves, then comes back with a newspaper.

"...Whelp, didn't need those eyes anyway..."
It burns

>I miss 42.

"Yeah, me too."

'She was cool.'

>Punched stuff and doesn't afraid of anything.

"But then she had to go get in a relationship."

'Ruins everything.'

>At least that'll never happen to us, right?



>Where have you been, 77? I just realized I-

'Oops, Cheer's calling, got to go!'


>...At least you and me-

"Seven! You wanna go do something nuts?"


>...yeah, well, when Rarity gets back... I'm gonna leave you guys, see how you like it...

>Second lesson! Lovebubbles!

"Did we... did we finish the first one?'

>Now this one is how you make it so nobody gets sick!

"Ohhhh, to stop STDS!"


"That's clever, that works, thank you!"

>...its supposed to be for making someone feel better, because love heals sickness.



"But it would work for that, right?"

>Y... Yes.


>Why are you saying that, exactly? Is your Shining-

"Not from me, no. But some of them are a bit more..."


"Ahem. Not first world, shall we say?"


"I just want to check."
Yeah we never established the boundaries of the sick bubble, did we?

How far can that go?
I would assume blasting the sickness out of them would be a lot like that scene from X-Men 2, only with germs instead of iron, so probably only direct surface threats.
>Ah. There it is... Too many cooties in your blood.
>Proceeds to kill the evil trio from the finale by shooting them with coronavirus balls
She could make one for the whole city. She did make one for Canterlot when Cordyceps inavded but it straight up fucked her powers for months.
I think that was it being broken by 88's megamove and the brainblasting
Waiiiitt a minute. Can Ralt see the numbers?
Imagine if she "peeks". Yikes.

>So to clarify... cooties are a real thing.

"Correct! The cooticuddlecus is a real virus that latches onto love based magic and sometimes can affect the chromosome in question, meaning someone of the opposite gender would feel very sick if they were to come in contact with the magically mutated strain!"

~Don't listen to her!~

"Twilight and I have disagreements."

>It sounds like it makes sense, whats the issue?

~We are not calling it that!~

"She has opinions, wrong ones, on my naming conventions."

~Its an offshoot of the common cold, it needs to be called Rhinovirus Magica!~

"It only effects love and its had a name for centuries!"

~Cooties are not real!~

"Science disagrees! She doesn't like any of my names."

>Like what, darling?

"Oh, do not get her started on Sparklejoules."

~They are not called that! I have submitted three different names and when you approve them we're done with this!~

"I'm not going to do that."

~Curse your power on this matter!~

"I am literally the only PHD In lovey-Dovey-Snuggy magic in the world."

>Did you name that too?

"Celestia named that one, actually."

>Huh... what are Sparklejoules, exactly?

"The level of love based magic in simple rates."

>Wait, what!? You can measure that!?

"Of course! Love Magic is the same as any other magic, it has different levels of charge and usage. Its called Sparklejoules because I'm the best at naming."


>So, wait, can you see them or something?

"Well, of course."

>Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?

"You're not ready for that.

>Darling, not to sound unappreciative, but I'm really not getting most of this. It sounds so vague and ill defined, and truly I don't even see how love works on most of this. Can't you teach me how to sense love, or something of that nature? That would save so much time!

"You're not ready for it."


>Oh pish posh, what good is the princess of love if she can't look into the magic of love? Is it really that complicated?

"Oh no, not at all, very simple to turn it on by digging down into your magic."


"You really, really don't want to do that."

>We'll just see about that! I just have to reach into my new alicorn magic and see...

"Oh dear."

The white alicorn never even questioned why the pink one grabbed towels from the cupboard.


Not before it was too late.


"Here we go."


"Heeeeere we go."


The towels were all that kept the ground clean.


It did not keep the pony clean as she fell to the floor and flailed around.


"And, scene."

A gentle pink hoof laid atop a blazing white horn, and the light was snuffed out. On the ground, she heaved, she whimpered, and she shook as her mind tried to process the new sights she now understood to be real, and the madness seeping in it brought with it.

~While you're down there, since you're technically the authority in this universe, could we perhaps discuss the matter of maybe you naming it something else? I have suggestions!~

"Not the time, Twilight."

~I just want to plant the seed for when she wakes up.~


~No rush!~
She enjoyed that way too much.
Reminder this fucked up Caddy so much she couldn't tell the difference between numbers and colors for years
First time she mentions Cthulu, we panic.
I did not expect that. I thought she'd just kind of be like "Oh no your Shiny is hot!"
Is it bad I'm just focusing on how cute it is Caddy and Twi squabble on names?

Little things.

>Ya'll okay?

"Oh... oh! Applejack! You don't know how much it means that you care-"

>Talkin' ta' Cadence, Ah' like her.

'I'm good, thanks!'


She leaves.


'That stuff is soaking in-'

I’ll give Ralt this, she went for it
There was a recent Nick Cage movie about this.
Very Lovecraftian
Why do you have to hurt me like this

>Princess Rarity? Are you ok?

"Oh, I'm fine, darling. Thank you for asking!"

>...Are we really going to do this now?

"Do what now?"

>You know what.

"I assure you that I, Princess Rarity - The First Of All Universes, do not know what you mean."

>...Haaaa... Are you ok, Princess Rarity - That I Actually Work For?

'I am covered in vomit, drowning in sweat, my mane's a mess, my friend despises me, and my eyes still burn with a thousand colors.'


'NO! Your Princess is in need of a wipe down and deep coat cleansing with all of the scents! ALL OF THEM! Get to it!

>You're not seriously suggesting I wash you myself, are you?

'Of course not. I'm ordering you to!'

>Can't you... just magic the gunk away?

She knows what she wants
>I'm ordering you to!'
She can do that...

>Oh dear, maybe I should ask someone to clean her.

"Yes, darling, tell Shining to get right on that."

>You want him too?

"I was actually joking, but you'd be okay with that!?"

>Yes? Obviously.

"Oh oh oh! Then yes! That! Darling, get the loofa! I desire a deep scrubbing-"

>You don't want a loofa in there.

"...in where now-"

A bit later.

Thunk, thunk, thunk.

>How much longer does she have?

The stallion looks up from his magazine and glances over at a little egg timer.

'Bout another ten minutes.'

>Sweet! Thank you, sweetie!

'Love you.'

He looks back down, ignoring the rage of the mare rolling next to him, trapped in a giant bubble of soap and water and screaming without ever being heard as she spins and spins and spins.

'Laundry day sucks.'

>Oh shoot, you do that too? I thought it was just when you got big and douchey.

"Nah, Two loves it."

'Absolutely adores it.'

"Have you ever seen a happy cat flailing around?"

'Imagine that underwater.'

"We make sure she never gets any water in her."

'This is her happy thing.'

"Rarity doesn't seem to be enjoying it though."

'Yeah she looks upset.'

"Like a regular cat."

'Maybe we need some duckies.'

"Two looooves Duckies."

>...I want a ducky...
Imagining Two in a little ball of water is gonna give me a heart attack
~Berry Punch~

>Its not racist!

"Little racist."

>Berry, tell me if this is racist.

~Its racist, but funny.~

>Bug thing?

(Racist and offensive.)

>But thing?

{Racist and I'm gonna stab you.}

>Sounds like the not racists have it!

"That math is making my eyes cross... ehhhhh?"

~Now see, that's funny, your racist thing isn't as funny as that.~


~I am true to no being, save the drink.~

(What even is that?)

~Gran Cru. I only have two wines I haven't tried at this point. Superberrybitch... and Pinot Noir.~

{Any particular reason?}

~The first one is made by my most hated rival. The second, a gypsy has told me, will explain the origins of my existence... and I fear what I will see...~

"That's reasonable, I looked into the abyss once and now I can see forever."

>You mean until you die. Which isn't impressive, most ponies see until they die. And you! Double dare you to drink Pinot Noir!

(That seems mean.)

{But it is a double dare.}

~Very well then...~




(That's probably normal.)

{And with that out the way, apologize.}

>Fiiiine, I'm sorry I called you black, you're more a charcoal color.

(Thank you.)

That's some dark shit

>With that out of the way-


>Oh... thought you'd be more upset with being put in the glorified washing machine.

"I saw things I never knew were possible, experienced worlds beyond sight and mind! The colors! THE COLORS!"

>Good news! Its possible, its not other worlds, and yes its very colorful. Now! Since you just had to peek at your Hearth's Warming gift like an impatient little filly, I'll explain to you how what you just saw works!

"You can't explain that, you can't make sense of it! It simply... IS."

>Actually its very simple, each color aligns to our personal magic, much like how our horns have different colored magic when we use it but that color can change, just like us! The color is nice, but what you really want to focus on is intensity, the brighter the better! Bright love is a full love!

"I know of what moves the world, and it terrifies me."

>Now, as with most lights the closer to white you are, the better! That means you have the most colors. Colors are pretty, you like pretty things, right?

"Wait, so does that mean Shining-"


"He's nepping at me."


"What is this?"



>Under any circumstances!


>Use this on your partner, and especially don't measure it for yourself!

'Nevahhhh sisstaaahhhh!'

>Preach it!


>Gauging how much someone loves you is the worst insult imaginable!


>You would not BELIEVE the destruction you bring upon your woooorrrlllddd!

'Aw yeah!'

>So don't-


>Don't you daaaaareeeeee-

>'DO IT!'

'Get it?'

"...got it."


"...well, on the note of that manner of speech you used, I seem to find it... familiar when I think of things..."

>Can't help you with that, my imagination is pretty normal.
Wait does Ralt also see in Gangsta vision!?
Yeeppp, she's gonna "Peek"
>my imagination is pretty normal.
Does she think everyone sees the world like that?
Wow, haven't been around these parts in a while. Y'all mind if I just, kick back to see if I can get the jist of things around here?
Sure? Anything you wanna know in particular?
How long is a while?

If you're asking what everyone's up to
>The main six+Celly+SA/Cadence are currently in Alterjack's universe, they're stuck there because the portal got damaged and then stolen by the few remaining changelings, who are lead by Variolus(Alive in this world) and 13 in Queen form(She renamed herself after Chrysalis and Chitania), they kidnapped regular 13.
>Alternate-Luna got her magic back and Alternate-Rarity is now Princess of Love.
>Luna is currently running Equestria by herself, she's doing a pretty good job and at the moment is actually hanging out with Pennydrop who's still in her Mecha-Chitania armor(Its shrunk down)
>The mainsix+Celly+SA/Caddy and AUJ are at the moment in Sweet Apple Acres, hiding out because if anyone saw half of them there would be trouble. Alternate-Celesita is down there avoiding her sister and Alt-Rarity is getting love-magic lessons from Cadence.
>Alt-Spike caused a global war with the other nations, Alt-Equestria isn't effected yet but the fighting could spill over.

I can give more specifics if you want.
How do I fukken rite good? (/_/) Will? Will a matter of will 'I fit in' matter if I randomly flake at the drop of a hat, destroy the board down the middle, apologize, reconcile, end on up /jp/, and return Amante-Crisco style to atone for my mistakes? F my life.

>You're sure this doesn't... color your imagination?

"Ho hooo! Color! I get it! Very clever!"

>Not what I meant-nevermind.

"So what are you seeing?"

>Well... its like when I think about Shining.


>It used to be pretty normal, but now-


~Sup whitey.~

>My whitey! You came fo' yo' top bitch!

~You may be top bitch but you got the bottom! HEYO!~

>Oh sugar you so sweet.

~Giirrrrll, you done gettin' on my jock, and ready to get on it?~

>I ain't no easy thang!

~Babe, Ah' gotchu wings.~


~Gotchu them magics.~

>Ya' did thaaat.

~And... I gotchu crystals.~

>Baby you did!

~Phones up... you answerin' this booty call, and want you some sugar?~

>...put it on my tongue.




"I can't see what you just saw."


"It was in your head, how could I help here?"


"But yes that pimpcoat was extremely tacky."

>Right!? So tacky!... Wait a minute
We have such sights to show you...

>Not again...

"Pink fluffy unicorns, dancing on rainbows! Pink fluffy unicorns, dancing on rainbows!"

>Take the freaking headphones off!

'Also, that doesn't count.'

~Yeah, not following the wording.~


'Don't worry about it.'

"Dancing on rainboowwwwws!"

>Which one of you is my Pinkie?

'I am!'

>Oh, phew.

~But I can be your Pinkie if you like...~

'We can trade!'

~Yay! Trading is fun!~

>Dang it! Just... what are you guys doing here?

'Getting sweets from Mrs Cake.'

~Yeah, this version of her is nice!~

>Wait, I thought...

'Thought what? Did you wonder if Mrs Cake was nice?'

>No, but how would she...

~She what?~


'You want a bearclaw?'

>I can't eat another bite, I'm so damn full...

'Yeah you overused that gag.'

~A lot.~

>Have you been spying on me!?

'Do guardian angels spy, Dashie?'

~No, of course not, don't be silly.~

>...guardian what?

'Just roll with it.'

>Celestia, help me.

"That's Toooooo Much! Un un un, that's too much! Bwah bwah bwa!'

'Doesn't count either.'

~We're not letting you cheat like that!~

>...there is no universe where this isn't confusing.
LNPP anon laying down the law
She has strict words!
I could see a Cenobite using lust magic
That would be a messed up mental image
Cenobite ponies or them using lust magic?
File: 23XXTl3.png (767 KB, 2761x1554)
767 KB
767 KB PNG
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and what's GINOSAJI!?

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one…'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for for out main guest…SILVER SPOON!!!'"


DT and Silver Spoon charge each other at high speed and smash hooves.

Explosion in the background.
They take their seats as Cadence puts out the fire.

>Have you ever tried to beat anypony with a spoon?

[...I might have.]

"That sounds silly. You can't beat somepony with a spoon."
A spoon gets flung at Cadence.

[I'm pretty sure you can.]

>But that was only one spoon.
Silver Spoon starts whacking Pinkie multiple times with a spoon.
>Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! This hurts more than I thought!

[Huh...this is triggering something in me...I'm not sure what.]

'Okay, Silver Spoon. You had your fun. You can stop now.'


'Silver Spoon?'

Silver Spoon lunges at DT with a spoon.

TBDRLIATU pops a tiny arm out and struggles to block Silver Spoon's spoon with a spork.

>Uh that's all the time we have, but there'll be plenty of Pinks next time!


Silver Spoon wakes up.
[...I want to do it again.]
Ask John Wick
Someone really misunderstood what the term spooning means
>TBDRLIATU pops a tiny arm out and struggles to block Silver Spoon's spoon with a spork.
I fucking love this
"Silver Spoon"

>So what is your talent, exactly?


'Eh? You specifically only get buttmarks when you learn the thing, you don't eh.'

"I know the thing, its just not that important."

>Its supposed to define your entire life!


'I'm confused.'


>Tell us what you do with your life!

"Get cool stuff."


"And what?"

'Is that it?'

"Have you never heard the phrase born with a silver spoon in your mouth?"

>I didn't think that was literal!

"It wasn't, its metaphorical."

'So, wait, you just... have cool shit?'


>...this is bull.

"Completely, I made it all up."


"Now what?"

>...I'm getting Arana and you're going to die tickled.

>So with that sight, do you understand the magic a little better.

"I think so."

>Great! Try it out.

"...Love love special magic!"


>You don't have to say that.



"Dash, darling! I simply decided to expand the love in your heart!"


"Welllllll? Do you love me?"

'I mean, I guess?'



"Did I... fail?"

>Do you want to know if you did?


>You really shouldn't use love magic on your... lovers?

"HA HAAAA! Oh no, no no no, nooohooooo darling, she and I have never been in the same bed. She waits her turn."

'More like you wait yours.'

"Whats that? The new wings make it hard for me to hear sometimes, they block the sound."

'Really? Shocking, I'm used to speaking loud enough the wonderbolts who actually respect me can hear me, maybe your head is swelling?'

"Or the insane level of magic is making it hard to hear, either or."

>I take it you two aren't... close.

"Of course we are! Close as can be! When she's not pranking me like the child she is."

'Boo hoo.'

"Literally what a child says!"

'She's mad Shiny tells me more than her.'

"He'd better not have!"

'Not that you would knooowww.'

"This is why I banned you from the bedroom, could you imagine this while I'm trying to work my magic?"

>Ah, no, no I cannot, mental block.

'Heh, magic, as if you're not basic.'

"And what does that mean!?"

'You lie there and let him do all the work.'

"He's a stallion, of course he does all the work."


"Don't you laugh at me! Love-love bubble attack!"


'I love how much laughter this gives me!'

"Useless ass love powers!
At some point they need to just sexy jello wrestle
Solves every problem!
Except too much jello.
....well with splashes..

>I might be the wrong pony for this. Or the right one, I'm not sure yet.

"No, its fine, let her say what she wants!"

'You're annoying.'

"Prevent her from saying anymore!"

>Look, you both clearly have something you want off your chest-

"I hate that the Wonderbolts listen to her over me even though I'm a princess and he likes me more!"

'I wish that I hadn't backed off and had to be let back in the life of the only stallion I really liked like it was a favor!'

"I hate that he always seems to go to her first when something serious happens!"

'I hate that he seems to coddle her more like I don't like being coddled sometimes!'

"I hate that she thinks this is my fault!"

'I hate that she thinks she's better than me!'

"I hate how she treated Applejack!"

'I hate how she took Applejack's side when she was clearly wrong!'

"I hate that she was given a position of power before me when I deserve it more!"

'I hate that she was made a princess when I do more!'

"And I hate!"








>...Twilight! Tag in! TAG IN!
Well shit
Yeah this seems like a Twi issue.
Props on them for just outright saying it?

>Is someone screaming my name?

"Its probably nothing."

>Ponies don't normally scream my name.

"They scream mine sometimes, up top!"

>I'm not doing that.

"You don't even know where its been."

>And I don't want to-

"Around that big ol' floppy-"


"Wire! That we're going to plug into this one right here. See?"

>...that's not what you meant.

"Are you thinking about your brother's dick again?'


"You should stop doing that."


"Ha haaaa."
Now, the healing can begin.

>Can Ah' be a little offended she didn't call for me?

"Ya'll ain't the princess of friendship."

>But this is fixing things! Ah' fix things!

"Ya' can't fix everything."





>Applebloom, get over here! Ah'mma show you how fixin' is done!
Lovey... tender.. slow healing...
With cuddles.
He's prepared for every occasion.
It’s why he’s the best
Like a Swiss Army knife to blow shit up

>I have a question for you, Forty-Two.

"I was beginning to worry you'd forgotten my name, Timmy. It's a relief to know you have not."

>You're hilarious, Punchy. Especially since a numeral designation isn't exactly what I'd consider a name.

"It's one I treasure. Is that not enough to consider it a name?"

>You treasure it? Seriously?

"Yes. It may seem impersonal now, and at first it pretty much was just a way to tell us apart from one another, but over the years... It's been cursed by my enemies, praised by my allies, and... spoken with love by those dear to me. So, I can't imagine being anything else and I don't want to be.


"Does that make sense?"


"Good. Now, what did you want to ask me?

>It's about your...

For a split second, he looks her over, his eyes betraying a hint of worry before he clears his throat.

>I was wondering about the particulars of, well, feeding a changeling love. As a doctor, I'm interested in expanding my medical profile and the mechanics of love in relation to changeling healing and nourishment has me curious. Should you, or Two and Eighteen, need a dosage, I feel it important to learn the best way to do that.



"It is the most effective way, yes."

>That's not exactly a total surprise, I guess, but... what about hugging?

"It's not as effective, but still good."

>And is it just an automatic sort of thing?

"More or less, but it won't work if you don't feel any love for the changeling."


"Platonic love is fine, Timmy."

>I get that! It's just... how do you...

"We can practice if you'd like. That might help."

>Uh... ok.

He moves closer and raises a foreleg to hook around her shoulder.

She moves closer

"Mwah mwah."

and puckers up.

>What are you doing?!

"Preparing for a kiss. Is this not obvious?"

>I thought we were going to hug!

"Ah. The Huggy-Kissy. An advanced technique I'm not sure you're ready for."

>That's not what I meant and you know it!
Tiempo made the right choice here, there’s no way the robotic punch bug who lost her shit from a normal cheek kiss would actually kiss someone like him.

Very wise to avoid before she pulled the rug out
He knows master baiting when he sees it.
Yeah her just be willing to kiss him is too OOC for the character who fried when 18, EIGHTEEN kissed her on the cheek, so there must be more to the story. What was your game, punchbug?


>I return, victorious.

"You did not, you failed! Failure! Wear the hat of shame!"

>Incorrect, I concluded the dare.

'We double dubber dabber dared you to kiss him!'

>And I said I would offer it, and he turned it down. Kissing someone who has said no is a crime, and crimes are illegal.

"Shoot, she's right, crimes are illegal."

'Curse you, laws! Anarchy now!'

>All the same, I have followed through on the dare, up to and including puckering my lips, and I am victorious.

"Fiiiinnnnee, you win."

>I do, and as a result, I'm taking my six foot gummy worm.

'That thing is utterly disgusting, you know.'

>You're just jealous because I get to eat it and you don't.

'...Damn it, I am.'

"Enough talk! Do your dare, I want that filly-sized gummy bear!"

'There has to be a better unit of measurement for that.'

"Dare me, Forty Two! Dare me!"

>Very well, I dare you to go listen to Sunburst's lecture.


'Pass. You win the bear.'

>I'm going to end up diabetic at this rate.
There it is
42 no!



>Thanks fer' takin' me fishin'.

"No problem."

>...Ya' got somthin'.


>Gonna reel it in?




>...Ain't good at math, but that's more gummy than-

"I know."

>Where do you suppose it goes?

"Don't know, Two..."

At the end of the gummy worm, the baby continued to slowly eat her way forwards.

"Mysteries of the world..."
Does that mean they have to wear the hat of shame?

>Get off of me.

"Nuh uh."

>I'm not a pillow.


The Queen hummed as she settled deeper into the massive many fluff under her chin, her hum turning content as she stretched her long body over the one even taller than she.

"I disagree."

>You have a bed.

"I know, and I know you know."

>I sleep on the couch.

"Not every night."

She sang, causing the changeling to grumble.

>Don't make me throw you. I'm not disguised and I don't want everyone rushing in when they see you flip flopping out your roof.

"You could easily toss me, couldn't you?"

She seemed happy to say that.

>Yes, I could. Observe.

With a single hoof pushing down, her entire body and the body of the Kirin on her back lifted off the couch. Only one of the four was needed to carry both herself and her quarry.

"I love it!"

She chirped, oblivious to the free hoof snaking around before it grabbed hold of her. She cried out as she was dragged off the dark back, despite her grip, and placed beneath the Titan body on the couch.

Then the other Queen dropped down.


She struggled and she fought, but the weight on top of her was too heavy.

>See how you like it.

The smaller Queen did seem to like it, if her laughs were any indication, and that annoyed the taller one greatly.

"Ooooh, I am lucky you are not a male."

She was almost equally as confused at that.


The Kirin hummed, adjusting herself beneath the solid body.

"I'm just saying, as tall as you are, as strong? Well, considering your current position, lets just say I'd be looking at current diaper rates if you were a male."

Slowly, her eyes crossed as she tried to make sense of that, much to the delight of the trapped Queen.

"You are so simple sometimes."

>You're the simple one.

The insult held little bite to it.

"I'm glad you came to my village, Chitania, you're quite... interesting."



"And don't worry so much, I do have sovereignty here, if anyone should come looking for you, well... we technically have no extradition treaties."

Above her, the changeling grimaced

>Don't think missiles require it.


>Nothing. Nothing at all.

It didn't sound like nothing, but the Kirin had long since learned not to press matters.

"Don't worry so much, I've seen how powerful you are. Whatever it is you're worried about, you can beat it."

Chitania, for once, fell into silence.

"You can beat anything, if you try."

For one of the Queens, the sudden squeezing of hole ridden hooves on the lithe body was assuring, making her think of warmth and protection.

For the other, all she could think of was the pain, and final words that had never left her.
...Well shit
>So cute
>Then it backstabs you

I feel personally betrayed
Yeah, PD seems like the type to go Colonial....
Damn it Chitty just enjoy the waifu
>"You can beat anything, if you try."
"Unless you're up against someone with all the love in Equestria times eight months, but that would be silly!"

>You know you don't have to keep bugging me.

"Ha haaaa... fuck you."

>Seriously, what's up?

"I suppose I was just worried about you, the loss of so many has to be a toll."

>Nahhhh, they'll be back soon enough.

"You think so?"

>Obviously. Twi's there, AND Celestia in case they need extra smarts, they'll figure it out. Give me one reason to think they can't pull it off.

"They couldn't figure out how to put the ohter Applejack back for a year."




"You need a drink?"


"I'mma get you a drink."
Is he old enough to drink?
He's old enough to die for his country.
But.. is he old enough to love?
Alright time to genocide the Kirins
>Killing Autumn Blaze

Autumn Blaze is good for one thing and one thing only, kissing her marefriend, Applejack
Everything else is surplus to requirement
Autumn Blaze is wholesome and bright like a nice grill fire and you sir would sooner earn yourself in the Alterjack Gulag than her.

>See this? We're fixin' this! Fixin' it! With fixin'!

"We heard you."

'And its less important than you lassoin' me and draggin' me over here. If Ah' wanted to talk to her, to your cause this won't really endear.'

>Can ya' stop rhymin' for two minutes so we can talk?

'What is wrong with my rhymes, they are a part of who I am! They're not just some phase that eventually will fizzle out after a blam.'

"Blam ain't a real word! It ain't a real word! Doesn't count, she lost!"

>Ya' ain't helpin', me.

"Ah' don't wanna help you."

>Ah' meant you, me!

'And you have the gall to call my words silly! You miss mare are the one speaking willy nilly!'

>Look, just talk to each other.

"Fine. Ah'm sorry Ah' wasn't here."

'Apology not accepted because it doesn't make anythin' right. And it sure doesn't mean Ah'm gonna let you run mah' life without a fight!'

"But Ah' am sorry!"

'I don't care! Don't even dare!'

>...This here is more complicated than Ah'm used to.

'So you admit you're a pony who is simple? Well then when Ah' leave you can examine mah' booty pimple.'

"Applebloom! You can't-wait do you have a Cutie Mark!?"



"Me, help."

>Said the drownin' mare as Ah' watched her sink.

Wow, AUverse is fucked.
AUJ isn't a communist.

She's a fascist so you're thinking of ovens.
...yeah pretty much
Good news, Chitty is there... so give them a month

'Never have I ever... had sex with a mare.'

"We're still on Dare or Dunk."


>I dare you to continue with that line of thought.

'About... things that didn't happen?'

>Wait, I thought you said that if you did it?

'You are bad at sleepover games.'

~Are we talking about lesbian sex? I sensed it.~

"That is possibly but not for sure the most disturbing thing you've said today."

~I'm kidding, I was walking by. What'cha playin?~

>Dare or Dunk.

~Neato, what are you winning-Jeeper on Faust's Fat Flanks! What the heck is that!?~

"We call it the gummi totem."

>We got bored and fused the remaining gummy giants into a single entity who we might or might not worship.

~What are you doing with it!?~

'You can win it if you do Dare or Dunk.'

~I am on board, I must consume... or become a disciple.~

>Fine. Spitfire? Its still your turn.

'Double dippa dare you to tell your mom who the last mare you slept with is.'

~...Gonna hard pass on that one.~

>You sure?

~Yeaahhh, prettttyyyy sure if she knew that, she would literally never speak to me again.~

"No second chances."

~Totem Gummi is not worth the pain she would inflict on my soul every hearth's warming. Pass.~



~Wait, that things a lever? What is that even-~




>Huh. You know, I thought he would remember he had wings closer than halfway down.

"That's unfortunate."

'Should we warn him about the-'


'Oh, he's got it... neat.'

"...did Totem Gummi just move?"

'Shhhh, I'm watching the show.'

This went to weird places.
Ha haaaaa
because everyone she loves gets either mangled or killed. Oh that Chitty, will she ever learn?
What did he do!?
Be the father figure for Two when Shining ain't around.
All nope.
You go nope right the fuck off
That’s some dark shit right there.

You sir, you deserve something. I dont know if it’s a prize or being banned from existing around children but it’s somethint.
Wow I was thinking he banged a milf who was his moms friend or something but you took that in the exact opposite direction. Damn.
I made a mistake. I was totally thinking of something else.
Suuuuuure you were.

The veil came up, anon. We see you!
I thought it was about why Tiempo always gets in trouble. But even then
>I thought it was about why Tiempo always gets in trouble.
It just keeps getting worse
Much like

Never mind
>Your daughter calls me Shiny, too.
If Shining's not back soon enough, Flurry might just call Tiempo "Daddy" first.
I’m sticking with this
>Honey, is there a reason you put him in cement and pushed him into the lake?


>... were you listening to creepy folk again?

“They make good points!”

>I'm trying to avoid all of this, please go away.

"Is that a horn!?"

>Go. Away.


>...Okay maybe go away after you tell me why-





"...Please don't fuck him."

>Can do.

"I mean it, do not fuck him!"

>I can handle that.

"I'm begging you, not again! Not the nice one again!"

>I promise you I will not fuck Shining Armor.

"Phew... or Discord."

>No promises.

"Wait wha

>Ya' know, sissy, Ah' feel like we got off on the wrong hoof, which was weird cause ya' were a goober who don't even remember it, so maybe the last thing you remember is somethin' mean, which means Ah' might wanna try resettin' or Ah' might wanna try just waitin' it out till ya' land on somethin' nice, Ah' dunno how baby brains work.


>Its confusin'. Sombra! Translate!

~Goo goo ga ga.~


~Ga gooo gooo gooo.~


~Goo ga! Ga ga gee!~




>What did she saw?


>Ah' meant in pony!

~She is a pony.~

>...Yer' lucky yer' too hard ta' boop.


~Right? So dramatic.~

>Quit messin' with me!
That's cruel.

But funny.

>Soooooo, they're not back yet?

"I would've told you, Spike. And everyone else."

>Right, but they're not back yet.

"They're not back, no."

>So, they're not back?

'Think ya' broke him, Pom.'

"I didn't break him, he's fine."

>But they're not back yet.

"He's just clarifying. No, Spike, they're not back yet."

>...at all?

"Okay he might be broken."

>Its just, I thought they'd be back by now, but they're not.


>...Excuse me for a second.

"Where is he going?"

'Probably to cry to his mom figure.'

"Aren't both of them gone?"

In the distance, they hear cries.

'...uh oh.'
He's fiiiiinneee


>Not-Mom who's mostly mom, Not-sister who might be sister-mom and not-brother are goooonnnnneee!

"I know! Its terrible! Come not child who might as well be child!"

'We made tea.'

>Is it chocolate tea?

"Its ruby tea."


"So, the good news is mobilization is going great, Dash apparently approved pretty much everything before she flew off, we're all assembled and at our top speed with the airships provided, Hurricane Squadron should be able to roost near Mount Aris before noon, and Galestorm Squadron should be perched in Griffonstone a little after that. All in all, as far as deployment goes, we're set. Everyone's been fully upgraded and armed, if anything comes our way we'll be able to tear it apart without any Griffon casualties. We're set."

Atop his throne, the heavy brow of the stallion lowered. He remained silent as second air commander Soarin' finished filing the last of his paperwork, waiting patiently for his leader's words until he could wait no longer.

"Is everything alright, highness?"

Whatever response he had expected, the careful sigh and slump of powerful shoulders were not among them.

>No, its really not, is it?

The pegasi had to agree, inwardly at the very least. Everything about this whole event bothered him to no end, yet he could say little on the matter without fear he may overstep his bounds.

>I didn't think things would go so crazy, so fast.

"It truly took us all by surprise, highness, but we've know the other creatures are far more unstable than ponies are. They just don't have our direction, or our magic. While defense is all well and good..."

>You think we should bring it to them.

The blue face winced, sure he had overstepped a boundary. But the Emperor never so much as twitched.

"If you don't mind me speaking frankly..."

>I don't. Say what you'd like.

The smaller one remained unsure, even as he pushed forwards.

"Applejack did a lot of things wrong, but one thing me and a lot of the Wonderbolts agree on is she was right to push forwards and try to, well, reign in some of the more problematic elements of the other nations."

Slowly, the implications set in, and the Wonderbolt grew bold.


"She put her hoof down when the Yaks broke out of control, and it worked wonderfully, we drastically improved their quality of life when we stopped bowing down to every tantrum. When the Diamond Dogs broke the rules attempting a kidnapping, she broke hem and made sure no other pony had to suffer beneath them. She did a lot of good, and with the current infighting going on, it would be a great opportunity to show our power and bring them to heel before any more of their citizens are hurt. We have the power now... you have the power now."

His wings, natural and fresh, spread.

"I may not agree with my fellow Wonderbolts on the Magitech, but I don't want anyone to be hurt. Pony, Yak, Griffon... I don't think any creature should have to suffer, and it pains me that they're hurting each other while we can stop them. We can fly in and break them apart without any trouble, we can make sure no children..."

He paused, reconsidering.

"No creature of any size or shape has to suffer."

>We would have to make an awful lot of them suffer before that, Soarin'.

The pegasi deflated, accepting the truth of those words.

>We would have to take control away from them, break everyone who opposed our new rule. There would be fighting, kickback, dissent. We would save many... we would also hurt many.

"We would hurt those who would bring harm to their fellow creature, and save those who only want to live their life in peace."

>Would they see us above them as peace? Or control.

Harrowed, Soarin' nodded.

>Its a noble intent. I...

Slowly, blue eyes looked off into the distance.

>I wish I could just stop all of them without hurting a single one. I wish there was some way to simply overpower them without ever breaking them or battering them. I wish I could tear them apart as easily as toy soldiers, placing them each in their proper place without ever touching them. I wish... I wish...

Eventually, the breath he held in escaped him.


>I understand you, I really do. When I think about them being hurt, because of...

His throat closed, loosening only after he had painfully swallowed.

>Because of stupidity and arrogance, it hurts me. I want to go in there, break them up like unruly children, force them into their corners and make them think about what they've done... but I'm not that powerful, Soarin'. We're not that powerful, not yet.

"Not yet?"

His head tilted, curious. At last, the royal smiled.

>Perhaps someday, that power will be in our grasp. Power enough to descend upon them with such magic and such heart, that none will be allowed to hurt one another again. So much power, all fueled by love. Love is...

He grew silent, and he deflated.

"Is what?"

>...never mind.

Quick hasty spells signed every piece of paper.

>You have your orders, protect them as best you can. See to it that at the very least, our allies will never have to know that war. Whatever it takes, Soarin', make sure they're protected.

The stallion's eyes grew hard.

>Our future depends on it.

The Wonderbolt waited dutifully for further instructions. When none came, he saluted, gathered his paperwork, and swiftly departed, a concerned look upon his face. Just before he fully left, the one atop the high throne heard his final words.

"I wish there was some way..."

Those words lingered, long after the other had gone.


Just as another, more feminine voice lingered in his head as the room fell silent. What she offered.

>You don't.

And what it may yet mean for his future.
I kinda like hopeful Soarin' who just wants to save folks.
Soooo, he's gonna take up Glimglams plan, isn't he?

He's due for another fuckup.

>You seem kinda tense.

"GAH!... How long have you been there!?"

>A while. Did you forget about me?

"I thought you were watching Sunset!"

>I was, but you told me to stand here so I figured it was important.

"Aren't you worried?"

>Nahhh, I got the Magitech Sight implant, this thing is neat! I can see her right now with my left eye. Your sister is hot.


>I meant her skill, they're fire.

"Oh. Yeah, she's pretty hot."

>...maybe stick to fire.

"I like hot better though. Admittedly that might be because I'm a little..."


"What!? NO! Lonely! I'm lonely!"

>Ohhhhh, I was sure you were just pent up.

"Stop it!"

>I'm just saying, if I went from topping Luna every night to sitting on a cold throne while they avoid me, all I'd be thinking of is some flanks. Taut, tight, smooth little flanks.


>Are you mumbling something?

"Gramma... cold showers...hoofballl."

>Ahhh, thinking about the flanks?

"Stop saying flanks!"

>Would bringing up your sister again help?


>...huh. I don't know how to take that.

"Don't say take that either!"

>What, you thinking about me now?


>Well good, because I'm straight.

"I'm obviously straight too!"

>Good... but I mean, you are my superior, so if you asked me to drain down the pressure for your mental of physical health, technically I would be duty bound to-

"Go back to watching Sunset! Now! Now now now!"

>As you command.

He leaves.

"...Shiny Spear I swear to faust above if you don't go away I will beat you down to-damn it, that backfired!"
Denying a solider his civic duty? For shame.
More like civic booty am I rite lads?
Daww, gramma-mommy's here.
Spike has a very odd homelife...
In the grim darkness of the /mlp/ writefag generals there is only.... more grimdarkness for the hell of it
Followed immediately by Flash talking about Salts boner.

Kinda undercuts the Grimness a little
Boner for murder
Murder at no point came up in that. Unless you mean he’s going to slay that booty
He’s got to hide the bodies So nobody knows

>Why is your Cadence trembling all of a sudden?

"...What day is it?"

>The same day it's been for the last unspecified period of time we've been here.

"Check the calendar! What day is it?!"

>I'm telling you, it's... huh... Valentine's Day


>Wait, sorry. The chicken-scratch ponish was throwing me off. It's actually Hearts and Hooves Day.

"Oh no."

>What's wrong? You don't have a date or something? Because... I could-


"Everybody hit the ground! She's chargin' the love cannon!"


"There's two of 'em! Sweet mother of Faust, THERE'S TWO OF 'EM-"

Love Day Start?
I guess. Bring on the SugarMac
Let’s do it
Love day!

Just wish it wasn’t on Friday

>... this is some BULLSHIT

>Uhhhh, guys? The portal's... I'm just gonna come out and say it, its pink, and a heart. Its a pink heart portal now.

"Gaddang it! Their power's peaking right next to the thing! And there's two of them! They're syncing! THEY'RE SYNCING!






"We gotta gett'em out of here before they do somethin' terrible and-"


>The uh... the portal's exploding. It is mid explode. Say goodbye to your loved ones.



Then the world was pink.

>Happy Hearts and Hooves day, everyone! I got you all chocolate!

"Oh, but I don't wanna get fat-"

>Sugar-free magic taste change chocolate.


'I don't need to eat.'

>Love infused magic chocolate.

'Fucking yes!'

~I'm good.~

>They're cake filled chocolates.

~I'm better!~

(Awww, thank youuu, you're so sweet! I need that boost anyway, little bit of sugar!)

>It has Monstrous Energy Shots in it.


{I require no such bonuses-}

+Ahhhh, so mine has-+

>Ghost peppers in it.

+The burn... is good.+

{I require no bonus, I need for nothing, I have no need for protein or magic or anything at all, I-}

>Yours are full of coconut.

{...y-you remember.}

>Happy Hearts and hooves, everyone!

"'~({+Happy Hearts and Hooves!+})~

>So, what did you get me?



"'~({+I was busy! I forgot!+})~

>When you have a Harem
>And all of them forget
His anniversary is gonna be nuuuuttsss



>...I uh...


>I got you chocolate covered apples.

"That's real nice, partner, yer'a good dragon."

>Hey, thanks.

"Got ya' some sapphire chocolates too, figured you like them."

>I do. Is it... all of those boxes?

"Nah. Got somethin' for everyone."

>Oh, good... cool.

"...Awww, why not."

She reached down, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Miss ya' sometimes Partner."

>...me too.

She leaves, and he takes a moment to touch his cheek.

>...me too...
Achtung Pädophile
He's a legal adult.

>Wow, sure does suck we're the only ones without dates, huh?




>I will teleport whoever you're thinking of into space.

"...Y-yeah, sure does suck."


Fifty Five loved flowers.

He loved the smell, he loved how they looked, he loved how they felt on his hooves. He loved pretty much everything about them except their taste, and how easy they were to burn. He had sadly learned both of those the hard way.

But, that aside, he did truly love flowers. They weren't very common in the desert he called home, so rare that every time he spotted one on the side of a plateau or hidden between rocks, his heart skipped a beat. If they were safe, he was always sure to leave them be, let them grow, let them spread and make more and let them find their own way. If they were in danger, too close to falling, rocks blocking their sunlight, or just withering away sick and weak, he knew what he had to do.

>Found another one!

Cut out the earth so far he could not hurt a single solitary root, and carry them away.

"Another one? Gosh, Fifty! We're gonna run out of room at this rate!"

Back to the garden he treasured, to the place he hoped they could call home. There were many flowers now, so many that it looked like a patch of Equestria's finest land had been ripped up and inexplicably cast into the middle of the desert. It wasn't easy finding the water for them, but with a little effort and a lot of patience he made sure not a single one of them went thirsty.

His garden was bigger than the house he shared with Ingrid, bigger even than the town hall. The children loved it, treasured it enough not to stomp on a single flower as they laughed and played around it. Some buffalo had never seen such a thing, the sight alone was like walking into a whole other world. A world of flowers, where everything smelled sweet.

How many years had it taken? He couldn't say. How many days had he worked for their comfort? He didn't know. How long would he keep this up?

As long as it took to find those lonely flowers out there in the sun, withering, dying, and helpless.


>We've got room, I checked!

He would find them, and give them so many friends around them.

Things that maybe, just maybe, they thought they never would find.

"I'll trust you, you're real good with math."

Things that maybe, just maybe, they felt they didn't deserve.

>I am!? I didn't even know that!

He would find them.

"Well that's what you have me for. To tell you that you're... you're more than you know, you silly little fella."

He would show them.

>I love you, Ingrid.

How beautiful the world could be.

"I love you too."

Fifty Five loved flowers, and he would love them for as long as he lived.
Realtalk, has there ever been a 55 story that isn't amazing?

I don't think there has.
>That one story from actual literal years where 55 found a flower in the desert and carried it home got a followup

Damn, thats impressive.

Fucking wholesome and cute

>Is Twilight strangling Dash again?


>...she really needs to get laid.

"Little bit."

>Chocolates? For us?

"Yep! Cuz helped me make them, spent all night on them too!'

>Tis amazing! Very well done!

"Thanks moons!"

>...why are they shaped like our flank?

"Because everyone deserves to appreciate a good booty."


"You, you Moons? You deserve to know how amazing that booty is. Good job!

"...thank you?"

>Can I snuggle your flanks, please?

"...ehhhh... why not."


"Happy Hearts and Hooves day."

>Hearts and what now?



>Please don't cry.


>Pllleeassseeee don't cry.

"T-this is the nicest... thing... anyone has ever... DONE FOR MEEEEEEEHHHEEEEE!"

>Its a box of chocolates! I'm not buying you a house!


>It seems like the one who got suckerpunched... was I.


Hearts and hooves.

>Nothin' but a buncha idiots spendin' money because some dang idjit con artist told them to.

Love, happiness, and joy in the air.

>Like ya' need a special day ta' show ya' love someone.

How she despised it.

>Like ya' need a reason, like ya' need ta' wait. Idiots... don't even know how lucky they are ta' have this long.

How it made her teeth grind.

>Its like they don't even know that one day, outta nowhere... it can all be gone.

How it made her remember happier times.

>They don't even know... what they're missin'...

It infuriated her. Made her want to punch someone.

>...what do you want?

It still paled in comparison to the heavy steps behind her.

"Just wanted to come remember the times before it all went wrong. Just wanted to remember the good times."

She turned just enough they could see her glare, that's all she would give them.

"I got you a present. Chocolate covered apple fritters with sprinkles."

>Yer' an asshole. Now Ah'm not gonna be able ta' enjoy mah' favorite dang food. One more thing ya' messed up.

"Well... can't say I didn't try."

The box landed in front of her. She never moved to pick it up.

"Everyone deserves to smile today, Applejack."

>Ah' disagree, and Ah'm lookin' at mah' evidence.

"...maybe next year, then."

She scoffed, and stopped looking that way.

"Maybe next year, we can remember how good it all was... maybe we can come close to that, someday."

Didn't even bother responding. The only sound she could hear was a soft, pained sigh.

>Guess ya' got time to wait.

And the sound of massive white wings beating as they lifted into the sky.
They might've been happy once...

>As per customary tradition on the day of Hearts and Hooves, I come bearing chocolate and apples. Goods baked with them, but apples nonetheless.

"Sorry to say Ah didn't get you anything if that's what you're hopin'."

>Of course not. The only thing more customary than any tradition is you forgetting or missing out on each one. Except the tradition of missing out on tradition.

"On second thought, Ah got some polish lyin' around for ya. Could use it on your jokes."

>Well, it's something, at least.

She looks to the box and pops it open, warmth and the fresh scent baked goods tickling her nose.


"You're welcome. And... I'm glad you're back, Princess.

"You're gonna have to get used to droppin' that eventually."

>I know... but I can hold on just a little longer, can't I?

"If ya want... Ah don't mind."
So was Salt actually AUJ's stress squeeze this whole time?
Its possible, also might be possible he just wants to reconcile with her.

He spent a year and a half working for her before something made him finally call it quits and leave, and apparently he stuck around even after Caddy left when he had no reason to stay, so they had to at least have had some good times.
>more Shining Altmor wankery
Yes he's so longsuffering and perfect and everyone's true love. Bleh.
Oh shut up you
Salt is the only one who doesn't seem to outright resent her or hate her besides AltPinkie or Ralt. He's apparently the one who came up with De-Alicorning her and he even told her family his plan so they wouldn't be worried, then he just lets her go and ends on a note hoping they can be friends again. Very curious since apparently she pissed him off so hard he straight up went to the Badlands to get away from everyone and Altwi lost her shit.

Maybe they became really close after he made the attempt on her necklace or something or she was there for him when Caddy left.
Are we just forgetting his whole cloak and dagger thing with Sunset? The guy remarked that he basically doesn't think she's capable of love. But they were lovers? Give me a break.
>? The guy remarked that he basically doesn't think she's capable of love.
Salt said that about AUJ?

Damn, I must've missed that.
I've looked through several big posts on it and the only mention is Salt said he and Sunset "Know what an Applejack is, at her core".

Where was this one where he said she can't love? If you don't remember when then just give me the gist of what they were discussing, I can find it.
That's it admittedly, but the point is the guy's actual feelings on her aren't high. He smiles with "a bit of malice" and talks about them having their "revenge". That doesn't paint the picture of benevolence and likes to put on afterwards.
True, he really only seemed to switch to not having any resentment for her when he actually won, he was pretty upset with her up to that point. Like right up to that he seemed very bitter at her in private with those that understood but as soon as he depowered her he switched to trying to be nice to her, even when its just him and Sunset or just him and Twi. He clearly had some kind of grudge up to his victory, and then once he had it he just pretended it didn't happen.

Not to mention he has made several implications that he blamed her personally for why he departed, that I can confirm. He didn't outright say it in several instances but there's plenty to imply he put all the blame for his departure on her, and he was still upset about it. Even so he did specifically plan to not have her killed, injured or locked up even before making it to the Regverse, Altwi said she was working on it before she ever found Sunset.

I'm very curious as to what their relationship was post Necklace Attempt and pre-departure. He went from working for her for, taking into account Caddy was still around for a month or maybe a little more, at least 1 year 4 months, and then one day he just up and left out of Equestria's jurisdiction. There's definitely an untold story here.

>I have concerns.

"Its monopony!"

'Are you insane!?'

~We still haven't fixed the clock tower from three years ago, the foundation is gone! Its not just cracked, its gone! We're still waiting for more rocks to become available! That filly will never be the same again!~

(They still sing songs of the terror wrought, we have statues like when Nightmare Moon attacked!)

{We really should stop building those.}

+I don't want to die! I want to live! I WANT TO LIVE!+

"Oh, you're all being silly, this is Monopony, Love Edition!"

>...what does that mean, exactly-


~~~~~Several hours later.~~~~~

=Is... is it safe?=

The former King, currently now just, Sombra peeked into the room, carefully as if it were laden with bombs ready to blow. A chill went down his spine when he saw the wreckage of what had once been a lovely living room. Now, every comfy sofa and chair were little more than goreish fluff, the softest of carpets shredded and stained, every single fixture shattered as if someone had taken a hammer to it. And in the middle of it all, a pile of bodies lie in various positions of unconciousness, close together and surrounded by remains of destruction. From the pile, a white head shot up, his blue mane shaking as he looked around in confusion.

=What the devil were you thinking!?=

The prince stared straight on at the former king, not blinking once.

=Well, I'm not helping you clean this mess up. You're lucky you didn't wake the baby last night, or I'd have your head on a pike! What do you have to say for yourself.=

Very slowly, the stallion's cheek twitched.

>Monopony can be fun.

A long, uncomfortable pause passed between the two as the darker of the pair watched a pink feather fall to the ground, still covered in spit.


He shut the door, and they never spoke of this day again.
This is either super far future or NC, but I still loved the twist.
>Shining is the first to wake up

Round of applause.
>The Trotter Brothers finally using their powers for good



>Eat the chocolate.


>Yer' wastin' malleys!




>Well, since ya' don't want them-


>Drat! Ya' figured out mah' plot! Yer' clever!'


>Or ya' just did it because Ah' wanted it... yer' either smart or evil.


>Or both.



>We got you chocolates!

"And malleys!"

>And things that Flurry can eat and not die from!


(Ain't ya' supposed ta' give those ta' yer' special somepony?)


>But Two!


>"You are our special little girls!"

(...Sissy block mah' face with yer' big ol wings, Ah'mma cry.)


(Ah'mma cry, sissy!)

>"Love youuuu!"
Just going to set this here in preparation for posting tomorrow since the v-day stories seem to be winding down. If anyone in the know for the arc gets the chance to look over it to make sure things are on the up and up, that would be appreciated. https://pastebin.com/kHSJH8ww
Give me oonnne second, I have to finish something up and I'll give you some feedback on a couple things.

[1] Seems fair.
[2] Maybe throw in a line where AUJ expands on them or AJ asks what they are, use it to develop a little more. Don't be afraid of setting precedent and adding more to this world if you have a good idea.
[3] Communicators do add a bit of a contradiction and it wouldn't make too much sense considering the previous scene, my advice is to have him ask Alt-Dash since she's in the room and this >>34979629 confirmed she was up to speed. You have an exposition pony, bend those wings and make her talk!
[4] Again, I'd say have Alt-Dash just tell him why, she wouldn't hold back, or if you don't wanna commit to telling them then just have her be vague about it because she's annoyed with him for his Salt comments or something.
[5] I'd say make it clear they CAN survive outside of Ponyville, and maybe play with how they can get magic from wild magic like Everfree or something as Timberwolves clearly do, but if you want to avoid them being on the battlefield make it clear Altwi has no idea how reliable they'll be, what their range is, or if they'll even work well since AUJ just vanished 2 days ago and these were her creations. It was a short notice and she knew ponies functioned, just add in Altwi didn't know if Beals would work and she needed more room for punchy bodies.
Any questions?
My only thing to add is add in it was at McIntosh Hills and the gap between them thats in the show map, that way he makes it clear where he was and how the single shield kept them back.

>Huh... you know, I was being all sad here for a second, but now everything feels pink and... happy? Why is the world pink?

The doors to his throne room flew off the hinges. They did not break, they flew and were carried away as if on the wings of fate.


And into his room marched many, many bodies.


And leading them all was none other than the newest Princess of Love herself, her horn absolutely blazing with pink love magic. She looked like a volcano made of Pinkie Pie had erupted out of her horn.


When she, and the other Divine pointed his way, he felt true fear.

"Are going to be snuggled."


There was no hiding his screams as they descended upon him.

>Well, we made it through another year.

The mare at his side snuggled deeper into his chest, both of them sinking deep into their massive bed.


>Another year, more love, more happiness.

"Very happy."

>Another wonderful change.


>...I feel like we should say something more.


>Like, we should make a poem, or make a big speech, or talk about how things changed or how we'll never be like That Shining and Cadence, or how we'll always love each other or how we're never going to let others hurt the love we have or-


She silenced him with a hoof.

"You don't have to. Because I know... and you know."

He didn't speak when she pulled it away.

"That's what love is."

>...You're right.

Two lovers snuggled into the night, the last flickers of love magic fading into the ether. No matter how many universes must be crossed, how many challenges they must face, they were sure.

>I love you, Cadence.

"And I will always love you, my Shining Armor."

They would always have each other.
Alright, this all makes sense. I figure with the Dash bit that it could probably be played off as her knowing where the Wonderbolts are being sent and why, but not connecting the dots that the same thing can be applied to the guards.
They’re not very tall
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and remember somepony out there loves you!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one…'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for for out main segment…A LOVELY TALK!!!'"

"You two! We need to talk! Why aren't you two getting any love? Don't you have a special somepony in your life?"

>But everypony is my special somepony! I love you all!

DT takes out a mirror and looks at herself.
'Well I suppose…'

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You two deserve to be happy. You're both worthwhile ponies and deserve more love.

>D'aww don't worry! I'm already happy! Being surrounded by friends like you makes me feel loved.

"...I'll have to come back to you. DT, you're a young eligible filly. What's your excuse?"

'Nopony can meet my standards. Besides, shouldn't we learn to love ourselves first.'

Cadence comes over and sniffs DT.
"Do you smell that...why are you trying to B.S. the Princess of Love when I KNOW you're practically starving for love."

'I'm not starving for love. TBDRLIATU is all the love I need.'

"Your metal dog doesn't count."

'He's not a dog! He's a partner.'

"That just screams desperation. You might as well be a crazy cat lady like Rarity."

'Doesn't she have only one cat?'

>Give her time.

"Pinkie, you never thought about loving somepony more than just a friend or being loved as more than one?"

>Hahaha don't worry about me. I already know who I'm going to end up with.

Cadence's eyes glow white momentarily.
"…different times lines don't count. Did you even make any progress on him?"

>Uh...well no, I guess not right now, but-

"Then get to it! You can't always expect to just wait for your prince. Be proactive! You deserve love! You're worth it! That's all the time we have today, but there'll be plenty of Pinks next time!

'...I feel so attacked right now.'

When work is tired of your shit
Is cheese even alive!?

>You know Luna's gonna tear you apart if you try to arrest Celestia, right?

"I am aware of the possibility should I try, yes."

>It's guaranteed.


>I'm serious.

"I know. Your voice reaches a particular squeak-ency when you are."



>No, it doesn't!

"It just did. It might only happen when you're mad, though."

>Why are you even bothering? We both know Celestia's going to do something stupid before breakfast, so you can slap some cuffs on her then.

"And you'll come down to have them taken off."

>It's better than dealing with Luna, trust me.

"Instead of arguing about this, how about you zoom up to Canterlot and ask your beau where he's sending your Wonderbolts and my guards?"

>I already know where he's sending the Wonderbolts.

"...You do?"

>Yeah? I signed off on some paperwork about it before heading here.

"...Mind telling me where he's sending them?"


"If he's sending them, it's possible he's sending the Royal Guard there, too. So, as a fellow Captain, it behooves you to reveal that information to me."

>Oh, so we're 'fellow' captains now?"

"Well, I'm not one of his side-tails, so that relation's out."

>Really buttering me up here.

"Just tell me."

>Putting that silver tongue to real good use.

"Rainbow Dash."

>Uh oh! Miles Delight is using my full name!

"Will you, please, just tell me what I want to know? The faster I get what I want, the sooner I leave."

>A pump and dump, huh?


>...It looks like we're being sent to Mount Aris and Griffonstone for border patrol pretty much. I remember something about spreading troops down the shoreline from Baltimare, too.


>Peacekeeping. Defensive stuff, you know. He's not expecting us to get into a fight, just to make sure our allies stay out of the line of fire from some squabbling.

"Hrm... Thanks for telling me."

>Yeah. yeah. You can thank me by leaving so I can go.

"Let's bask in the afterglow instead."

So does she know about the war or not?
I want to say she knows enough to sign off on the Wonderbolts moving out, but skimmed over the details so to speak.
Crazy rocket launcher lady has a little bit different of a ring to it then cat lady
I just realized, did anyone tell Delight why Celly came down to punch AJ at all? She screamed it when he wasn’t there
Wonder how he’s gonna take it when he finds out she lost her shit over Salt knocking up Lunalt.

...and Ralt and Alt Dash too...
Freaks out when SA and Caddy point out they have an alicorn baby.

>Ah gotta question for ya, Captain.

"It's surreal hearing that from you, but not actually you, after what feels like a thousand years."

~Don't worry, Ah'll be makin' up for lost time soon enough.~

"Words that fill me with equal parts 'Fear and Delight'."

>You two gonna kiss now or can Ah ask my question?

The guard scoffs, a sort of dry laugh, while the deposed Princess simply rolls her eyes.

~Nothin's stoppin' ya, smart-aleck.~

>In that case, Ah was wonderin' if you're sure you've got a handle on the situation with your guards. Ya said as much earlier, but considerin' the short notice and amount ya've got on-hoof, wouldn't it be more effective to handle the sortin' face-to-face as soon as ya can?

~In short, when are you gettin' off'a my property and back to work?~

"I promise I'll be out of your mane soon enough."

Briefly, his eyes dart to the rotund ex-Princess of the Sun, before settling a clock and back to the otherwordly doppelganger.

"As for my guards, my Lieutenants are handling it face to face- and before you hit me the 'apple stare'- I'm not just dumping all of the work on them."

They hit him with it anyways.

"I'm not! I'm sending a few of them along to keep command over their platoons, so that's a sizeable chunk of soldiers decided already. All that's really left to do is deal with the details, so to speak, which I've still got plenty of time to do."

~Hrm. How many are ya sendin' out?~

"300 or so."


"150 is around the minimum effective range for what we've been covering, so I'm thinking 175 or so can stay here, but-"

~That's way too low! 250 is the LEAST that should stay here!~

"...200 sounds about right-"


"It's fine, Princess! 200 more than covers what's needed, and that's not including the baels or the tree golems shambling around."

>Speakin' of, are y'all gonna stop skirtin' around that? Ah'm kinda curious about 'em.

~The Baels? What more do ya need to know about 'em?~

>Ah'm talkin' about the damn trees!

~Same question.~

>What are they? Why'd ya make 'em? How're they still goin' despite ya not bein' here?

~They're golems made from apple trees and Ah made 'em for defense, of course. They're still goin' the same way the Timberwolves and Baels are: they pull magic from the earth, plus they hunker down like regular trees and get a lot out of sittin' in the sun and waterin', too. Baels mostly use the earth fountains since they're more active and it's faster that way, but there's plenty of unicorns around to give out a charge themselves since the magic trainin's been upped.~

>Ya really decided to use the acre trees like that?

~Of course. There's not a fruit on earth more powerful or better than apples, so that goes for the trees, too.~

>...Damn, she's right...

"What about Teddie Mercury?"


"You know, because... fruit?"


"Ahem. So, we were talking about how 200 is a fine number?"

~We were talkin' about how it ain't fine after what just happened in Canterlot! Do you even know where you're sendin' 'em yet?~

"A certain source has told me that a deployment to Griffonstone's border or along the eastern shoreline down to Mount Aris is possible."

~Why? What possible reason could he have for sendin' y'all across the ocean?~

"Said source stated that it has something to do with defensive peacekeeping for our allies, but I still don't know the exact details ."

~Yet you're still so eager to send 'em out just 'cause he asked.~

"I'm not!"

Hooves thrown to the air, he meets her stern gaze with one of frustration.

"In case you didn't notice, I'm not exactly the Emperor's biggest fan, but whether I like it or not, he's my boss now and he sent an order down for troops I can spare. If he needs my guards somewhere, honestly needs them for something important, then I want to try to meet that half-way despite personal misgivings. I know you wouldn't let me get away with not giving this an honest think-through, so based on what little I've been told and what's happened so far, I think around 300 is a fair enough number to send out. It keeps us stocked on the homefront, and should be more than enough to deal with whatever's got the guy antsy."

With a sigh, the frustration cools into something calmer. Something stoic.

"Does that sound reasonable, Princess?"

Something that betrayed the tiniest bit of anxiousness.

~...Don't agree with it, but I see your reasonin' at least.~

At that, his shoulders relax and he stands a little taller.

~Ain't like Ah can stop ya, anyways. Just yer average citizen now.~

"I guess not, but you're more than average, I'd say."

>Well, shucks, Captain. You're makin' me blush.

He scoffs again and she receives nothing less than a withering stare from her deposed counterpart.

"And it's still good to have a discussion, right? That said, there's still time to make adjustments before the deadline. A little less than, what, three hours? It's more than what we got before hauling ass to the Badlands."

With that, the mood darkens a bit and her lips curl into a grimace.

~Is that so...~

>Speakin' of, would ya mind tellin' me about it?

~Fluttershy already did, if ya forgot.~

>Ah didn't. Just curious to hear it from someone who was there, besides Twi and her brother. You were there, right? Ah figured y'all would be on the top of Twilight's list considerin' your numbers and placement.

"We were."

For a moment, the deposed Princess looks him over, narrowed eyes widening a tad as they search for something.

"What do you want to know?"

>Let's take it from the beginning. How'd it all start?

"Suddenly. Princess Twilight sent out a call ordering all of us to mobilize against an invasion coming up from the Badlands, and barely an hour passed before she was here to shuttle us there with the guards from Canterlot."

>All of you?

"Pretty much. Some stayed behind to hold down the fort with the Baels, since the Princess was more concerned with the 'equine' element so to speak, but the rest of us filed onto her airship and headed off. "

~Ya didn't bring any with ya?~

"We did, but she sort of lost it -well, more of it- when she saw them getting loaded up and wasn't exactly in the mood for an in-depth pitch on their benefits. She didn't know what they were or could do and made it very clear that she wanted ponies on board. I argued a bit, but we were pressed for time. That said, trying to unwedge them from the crowd would waste more, so she let the ones on board stay. It paid off, I think."

~Ah'd hope so.~

>Was that the first time they've been deployed that far from Ponyville?

"Not exactly. We've done tests on them and range isn't a problem. But it was their first "stress" test, you know? It was the first 'real' bit of action some of us had seen since the changelings invaded, and the first a lot of guards had seen at all. Tension was high, nerves were a mess, and despite her best effort to encourage a semblance of calm, an alicorn asking us to help fend off an invasion all of a sudden wasn't exactly comforting when this one never bothered."

He smiles lightly, looking to the deposed mare, but whatever levity he hoped to achieve was not, as apparent by her hardening gaze.

~'Cause they were never anything Ah couldn't handle myself. There's no sense in bringin' y'all along to just spectate when you could be holdin' down the fort in case somethin' tries to attack the homefront while Ah'm out and about.~

>They could've covered your blindspots. Rounded up any stragglers and the like. Might've made some difference down the line.

~All Ah'm hearin' is that Ah should've finished the job so they didn't have to deal with any of this.~

>What ya should be hearin' is that ya didn't have to go it alone because ya had 'em whipped into shape specifically to deal with this! Ain't that right, Delight?

"Well, yeah-"

~Ah whipped 'em into shape so they could protect Equestria the way they're supposed to! By guardin' against threats and upholdin' the law of the land! Tell her, Delight!~

"That's true-"

>But you neglected to let 'em help deal with certain threats, namely armies. Which your ARMY is supposed to help with! Isn't it, Delight?


~Ah have the right to allocate my forces the way Ah wish!~

>Had. Ya had the right, but that don't make it right.

~Shut it! Plus it was faster and safer for me to deal with things myself!~

>Ya could've brought some along, keep 'em on rotation or somethin so they get a feel of things!

~That doesn't make any sense! It's war, not some sort of hoofball game!~

>It gives 'em experience!

>~What do you think, Delight?!~

Despite towering over them by a good foot or two, he'd never felt quite as small as he did when they turned their hawk-like gaze to him.

"...I think that Applejack has a point, but Applejack's point is also sound, so Applejack wins."


"Ok! Ok! I wish you'd let us help you, but at the same time I know you trusted us to be the last line of defense in case something goes wrong and I'm not too broken up over you not bringing us along to possibly get killed-"

~Ah wouldn't let that happen.~

Given pause, he stares at her. Of course she'd say that, and it would very possibly be true considering what power she held before all of this. But what could have come across as emotionally detached and simply matter-of-fact, struck him as personal.

It was one of those rare moments where she let how much she truly cared about the well-being of others peek through.

And he couldn't help but bitterly wonder how much of a liability that would have made them if they'd tried to help her.

"...I know you wouldn't. So, point and point? Applejack wins?"


"That's how I feel! Honest."


Shoulders relaxing, he lets out a sigh.

"Is that all you wanted to know?"

>Ah heard your boss was the first one there, and that his shield was pretty much the only reason y'all even had an idea that somethin' was goin' on.

"Something like that."

>What's your view of things? When you first got there?

"...I remember it being quiet. Inside the airship, that is. Princess Twilight gave one last call over the intercom, but nobody said a word as we finally touched down near the chokepoint in Macintosh Hills. All you could hear was shouting and banging- like someone was trying to punch through glass. When the doors opened, you could have sworn that light was pouring in like high tide at Luna Bay. There he was, shield shining bright, holding off an entire hodgepodge army of Equestria's enemies. Yaks, Diamond Dogs, Dragons, Griffons, etc, etc. None of them could break through! The only thing more unwavering was his award winning smile!"

~Layin' it on a little thick there for someone who's not a fan.~

"Just having some fun. But it did feel like something out of a comic book. Something unreal... Anyways, we fought them back despite being outnumbered six to one, thanks in no small part to Princess Twilight and her weapons. It would have been a cleaner win if another Princess had come along... but there's not much we can do about that now."

There's a hint of anger in his voice and a grimace on the face of the deposed Princess. For her part, the doppelganger casts a rueful glance to sloven alicorn.

~How many did ya lose?~

"They lost more than us. That's... how I like to look at it."

Her grimace hardens, but she doesn't push forward.

"And, unless you want a play by play on the fighting, that's pretty much how things went. After that, he got Celestia's powers, declared himself Emperor, got this Divine nonsense going, and started playing up to the people that attacked us the need to bring you to justice for true peace and healing and yada yada. Which leads us here."


>You're not buyin' what he's sellin'?

"Not really."

>That's a little surprisin' to hear.

~Better than more slobberin'. The guy gets enough swabbin'.~

>That's the thing, isn't it? Kinda stands out when someone ain't particularly fond of the guy here. Especially someone that fought alongside 'im.

"I won't say he didn't pull through that day, but it didn't take long before all the smiles and heroic declarations started coming across as fake. Maybe it's just the stress doing that, but all the talk about bringing you to 'justice' never sat right with me either way. And when you look at what happened to Celestia, what she turned into, and see him just..."

His voice dips low and he grows quiet, mouth curling into a grimace. A second or three passes before he sighs.

"He's done some good and isn't completely awful at his job, so far, but I'm not eager to sing the praises of her replacement, let's just say."

>Fair enough.

~And Twilight? Seems like she finally wants to take on some actual responsibility, so how's she been workin' out?~

"She's fine."


"...When she's not being neurotic-"


>And hard to talk to 'cause she let worry wind her up into a frenzy?

"Exactly! Between her neverending reserve of debate tactics and dogged worrywartness and his benevolent father figure shtick that he's totally not lifting from Celestia, things can get exhausting. She's more 'honest', I'd say, but I usually don't have to deal with the guy anyways, soooo trade-offs, I guess."

>That's how it works sometimes.

"But at least she's cute."


>"What about Teddie Mercury?"
Ha haaaa

Love it.
Very interesting that his main issue seems to be with Celestia's current state, while he still admits he feels like she would have made a difference in the Badland Battle.
>The Tree Golems are apple trees

I mean we all knew that already. Even if we never said it, we knew.

We knew.
That is a good point that its weird he's not a little resentful for Celestia not being there when he needed her. I get that Salt honestly comes off as fake in most of his stuff because, well, we've seen he IS faking most of this because he genuinely doesn't know what he's doing most of the time, but it is odd he seems to hold Celestia in higher regard when Salt was at least there.
I like the subtle little interactions between AJs, its nice to see two sides of the same pone.
Creatures actually died huh?
Quite a few
Goddamn Ponyville had a fuckload of guard
>its weird he's not a little resentful for Celestia
He is resentful, though. He doesn't outright tear into her, but there's "a hint of anger" when he talks about her not being there and remarked that she abandoned them that day in a previous story and was pissed at whatever reason she gave him for why she didn't show up, citing that it was "some drunken, flippant bull-".
And he is still trying to arrest her after all this time, so he's got to be a little resentful.
>Alt-Delight isn't sure Celly is Celly
>He also gets news to mobilize as many of his guard as he possibly can by sun up as they're being shipped out
>Alt-Celestia makes her way to Sweet Apple Acres and she gets into a brawl with AUJ, ending when both are too tired to continue and Celestia blames her for Luna's current "Condition". Upon hearing it, AUJ agrees
>Pretty much everyone tolerates Altlestia after that
>Ralt comforts a sad Lunalt
>Alt-Delight tries to arrest Altlestia but is interrupted by Alt-Dash telling him to let her go, which he has to.
>She sticks around to bother AUJ
>Alt-Sunset is part of the Divine
>Mane-Iac is good with Flurry
>Salt talks to Gilda, Ember and Skystar, then talks with Altwi
>Chrysalis reveals herself to Alt-Delight and Alt-Dash
>Babs meets Dread Knight
>Alt Dash has love questions
>Salt gets bothered by Glimmer who's revealed to be doing this on purpose
>Sunset hears a voice in her head
He just may not like Salt

>It sure is weird they're shippin' folks out so fast... Hey! Dash!


>Don't you what at me, missy!

"Okay, Applejack's trying to boss me around are officially my trigger."

>Just tell me where are the guards are goin'.

"I told him earlier, then he asked again and its really annoying. So I'll tell you once, one time, I don't know. I know my Wonderbolts are going to Griffonstone and Mount Aris, and I know a couple are going to Baltimare and even some are going to the Badland Coasts, but I don't know if any guard are going there. Ask Fleetfoot! Apparently he told her!"

'He just told you he was shippin' them out and didn't tell you why? But he told Fleetfoot?'

"Yeah, ticks me off..."

(HA! HA HA HA! Who gets told everything now!? Huh!? At least with me he puts everything in a nice neat book!)

The pegasi suddenly froze.

"Y-yeah, what a messup he did, I'm gonna have to... really chew him out for this one, really give it to him, you know?"

Dash was good at many things. Lying, it seemed, was not one of them.

>Somethin' ya' wanna tell us?

"Not particularly."

'Hey, Ah'm just noticin' somethin'.'

"Please don't."

'So he told ya' they were shipping out and where, but did he do that personally, or...'

"I uh... I was upset and wouldn't come see him. He put me in a bubble, you wanna talk about that?"

>So he gave you paperwork.


>And this paperwork... didn't have reasoning in it?

"...probably not."



>But you didn't read it.

"...I skimmed."



(Darling, how could you!)

"I was in a hurry! Luna was telling me to go stop her sister from getting locked up, really loudly! You were there! You saw her push me!"

(Wait a minute, that's when that happened!? You barely even looked at that book!)


"It wasn't that big."


(I could crush a filly's head with it! I thought you were signing an autobiography or something! A lot, because you have a massive ego!)

"It wasn't that biiig. The summary told me most of what I needed to know and I just signed everything else real quick"

(You barely even read that!)

"I skimmed!"

>Ah'm gonna lose mah' head here.

'Ah'm gonna lose mah' cookies here!'

"Well, I mean, I know where they're going, so... I mean it can't be too hard to figure out, defense, not intending to engage, maybe, I dunno... Ember's on a warpath again?"

'Ember wouldn't be near Mount Aris!'

"You don't know. You don't even like her."

'Who the fuck is Ember!?'

"Dragon Lord."


(Long story and we've no time! Scold this filly with me, scold her!)

>Ah'm scoldin! Scold!


"Stop it!"

(Scooollld! Shame her! Shame her with the object of shame!)

"What the fuck is-"

Down from above, it fell.

>...izzat a hair ball?

'It seems to be some kind of pink pony.'

(I see a horn, must be a unicorn?)

Indeed, it was, and then it began to dance on the Wonderbolt's head.

>...Alright, this don't make no sense.

~You said you wanted the shame object, and this is all I could get on short notice!~

They looked to the side, and saw Pinkie Pie.

>Okay this makes sense.

'Ah' getcha now.'

(Good work, darling! Look at her! Look at her cry in shame!)

On the ground, Dash wept.


And the Pinkie Pie laughed.

~So why are we doing this, again? I... I have no idea why I did this. Guys? Guys?~

Everyone else laughed harder.

~...Gonna say I did good.~



>I do not know how we ended up next to each other.


>Buuutt, since I'm here, I can give valuable big sibling perspective on being away from your little sibling for extended periods of time!


>You... you sure? Twili was down in Ponyville while I was in Canterlot for years, it was a whole thing. It happened. Literally did not even know I was getting married due to the mind control. I can give you valuable insights on her mindset as she was duty bound to make Equestria greater, but wishing she could visit you all the same! Twili was my LSBFF too! We were super close, and it tore me apart, but my job meant I had to guard Canterlot, and later the Empire! But you know, in all that, I never forgot the good times we had together, why we loved each other and why it was so important not to let a silly thing like distance come between us. Do you understand?


>Maybe I should try with your brother, get some BBBFF mentality going.

"So go talk ta' him what are you waiting for? Lookin' after a grownup shouldn't be this much of a chore."

>Neat, where is he.

"Isn't he over there? No... he wouldn't dare!"

>Dare what?

~~~~Seconds later.~~~~


"Ah' told you not ta' try ta' swim on yer' own, ya' grew up on a farm! Why do ya' keep tryin' to give yer' small brain big harm!"

>When did you guys get a pool?

"You were supposed to be watchin' him, its you Ah' blame! Look me in the eye and feel the shame, shame, shaaammmmmme!"

>...Should I be ashamed?


>Okay, so things didn't go exactly to plan.

There was so much fire, so many broken windows, so many broken doors.

"It burns with the power of break."

Some broken bones too.

'What were you thinking?'

>I blame Trixie.

~Trixie saved your life!~

>I thank Trixie. But I blame you.

~See if Trixie uses her emergency sleeve napkin on you again!~

>I would very much appreciate it if you did. Just maybe don't save the one who nearly exploded us all with your rockets.


>I still blame you for allowing her to hold it. You put it in her hooves. You knew what would become of us, you fool.

~Trixie didn't even look at her! She didn't know!~

"Is anyone going to put out the fires? There are still fires... a lot of them."

'Besides me, he means.'

"Besides her, she has to run back and forth and use her mouth."

'Bullshit earth pony power.'

>Well guys, we missed out on the Hearts and Hooves day event we planned.

'Don't you ignore me.'

>I guess we're going to have to accept-waaaaiiiit a minute, where's Twenty Nine and Zecora!? Could it be? Could it be!?

"...Could it be what?"

>Go get her, buddy... you get that stripey mare.

~...you're weird. You're a weird stallion.~

>And then you thank me afterwards.

~A very weird stallion.~

(Vekir found more of your boomy-sticks.)

~OH SH-~

Don't kinkshame!
He just wants to see a zebra get bugged, is that so wrong?
~Babs Seed~




~I'm underwhelmed.~

>He's gone!

"Bojack, come back!"

'Or I'll smack!'

>Ya' friggen hack!

"Your hooves I'll tack!'

'I'll give an attack!'

>Stop bein' black!



>Ah' had to say it.

~So he left?~

>Yeah. Ah' wonder where he went?

"All that's left is a little horse."





(That was really racist, by the way.)
>Finally get SA and Alterbloom
>She doesn't take
I take it that's a disappointed daw?

Teleporting was never the strong suit of the former student of the highest alicorn, yet desperation was always the greatest motivator for Sunset Shimmer.

The teacher of the fallen student had tried so very hard to help her with that ability, and had praised every short jump she had made in her studious days. Yet, her best in those days paled in comparison to the jump she'd pulled off in this singular moment. So far, and so uncertain of space she'd landed hard enough to rattle the mechanical limb as it landed first upon the ground. No doubt, the princess of this world would be suspicious of such a spell, even though she'd made it perfectly clear to her friend and to the guards watching over her that she merely wished to 'clear her head', she could feel the eyes on her back slipping away as she found a secluded area on the mountainside, a hidden cavern where no sight could peer into, no sound could be heard.

Spell after spell had been cast to ensure she wouldn't be followed, no doubt earning her a furious ire from the brilliant alicorn that she was sure no explanation of need for privacy would account for. She would take it, for it was worth it.

It was worth it to ensure none followed her, none came after her, none knew of where she was.

"So, you came."

Or who was there with her.

"I'm more surprised you did... alone."

Glowing green eyes appeared above her, narrowing in as those of prey would to their next meal.

Such a thought was quickly proven untrue as the body attached to those eyes was violently yanked from the top of the cave, and slammed down before the foul tempered unicorn.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't just torture her location out of you."

The smaller changeling before her lifted her head up to hiss, magical fire upon her horn.

"Break me as you wish, I will never betray my queens!"

Such regret lie in her heart when she found no doubt in those words.


Likely, she could tear her apart as a sadistic child would a grasshopper, and never learn a thing. Even if she were willing, there was little chance that there were no measures of the mind to ensure the ling sooner found herself lobotomized before she ever thought of betrayal.

"Then start talking."

"Release me, or I will never speak a word!"

She hissed again, thrashing and threatening every second until the magic finally relented, and she scurried away to the roof. A spell illuminated the cave before she could make it much farther, ensuring there was nowhere to hide, and giving the unicorn a clear look at the changeling with her.

More than just the cave came to light as she focused on that face.

"You look... familiar."

She could not place it, yet she could not dismiss it. Something about that face sparked memories in her mind. Memories old, and she thought forgotten.

"You are a smart one, like she said. Yes, you've deduced correctly, I'm the one who took the house ling from her cage!"

That had not been even a remote thought in her mind, yet it was enough to cast away the slowly forming memories like a stone into a clear pond.

"Is that so..."

"Yes, but before you decide to retaliate, remember I am just here to give my Queen's words of.. negotiation."

Fire came to the unicorn's eyes.

"Tell your Queen either she returns my friend to me, or I will do far worse to her than Applejack ever could have. If one flake of chitin on her head is harmed, I will see to it that every one of you burn before me, and I bury you where your names will forever be forgotten... if you have any to speak at all."

The changeling before her shivered, yet never wavered.

"My Queens will not harm your friend. They have... interest in her old world, and yours if we're correct."

She struggled to stay stiff as that cave grew brighter, leaving her little area to hide.


"You want to go into that hellhole? Fine, I don't care. You all leaving is no skin off my nose and if you want to raise tartarus for those on the other side, all the better. Just give me back my friend and I'll tell you the activation sequence for my portal. Simple trade, you get what you want, I get what I want, we're all a big happy group."

Sadly, the happy affirmative she hoped for never came.

"My Queens do have interest in that world, and of escaping there. But there is another matter she would like to discuss."

"I don't see why I would. Either she give me my friend back, or she never leaves this place and I spend the rest of my days and my considerable intellect hunting you all down to the last. I wouldn't even have a reason to let you go back to her, just one more ling I wouldn't have to care about when I start tearing them apart piece by piece."

That finally got a response from the smaller changeling. Fear, no matter how well hidden, could never truly be covered. Fear of the death promised on those words, and in those burning eyes.

"My Queen feels this is of interest to you as well."

"Then you'd better speak it, and quickly, before I decide to get a head start on figuring out where your kinds vulnerable spots are."

To punctuate her point, she laid a single spark of magic upon the crest of the ling, giving no pain, not even any heat, yet still making her shudder as if a barrel had been placed there instead.

"She has seen a glimpse of an... orb."

That magic quickly changed from harmless, to powerful enough to shove the ling to the ground.

"What does she know?"

"I-I don't know, I am a lowly drone, I'm not permitted to know such things, only what I am told."

The magic came up, releasing her from her pain.

"And what are you told, exactly?"

"My... my Queen wonders if she might procure-"


"Not even for your friends life?"


The speed the answer came stunned even the mare who spoke it.


"That orb is... dangerous. More dangerous than your simple minded "Queen" whoever she may be, could ever understand. If she used it wrong in this world, it would be catastrophic. It would tear apart all who lived here."


Spellcraft brought silence, ensuring only one would speak until she chose otherwise.

"The Twilight of this world may be an absolute short sighted fool, just like the one from my world, the Applejack of this world may be just as callous and heartless as the one from my own, the Celestia of this world may be as useless as the one I know, but they have not betrayed me. Not a one of them, tall nor small, have betrayed me. Not the friends I still have here... and not him. I fear what really goes on in that stallion's mind, I really do, but when push came to shove he didn't betray me as so many others did. Maybe, for all its faults... this world is still better than mine."

The magic dispelled, letting the breathless changeling gasp in pain.

"M-my Queen... merely wished to know more about it-"

"All she needs to know is that I have it hidden, and she will never see it. That orb caused more heartache then you will ever know."

Even the scowling mare had to wince at her own words, and the painful meaning she had never intended to speak.

"You have your way out of this place, your one chance at exit from a world who will work their best to see you exterminated, and a world who will let you live and breath without ever being harmed. Tell your queen to get out of this world, go to that one and do whatever you like over there, go hang out with Chrysalis or something, have a tea party or something, who cares."

"So... its true she's alive?"

There was a sad little bit of hope in that voice. So soft, she could easily dismiss it as a howl of the wind and her own mind playing tricks on her.


"Yeah... she is. And she'll probably take you in, so give up on the damn orb, give up on trying to strike back against them, give me my friend and kindly fuck off forever."

"My Queen... assumed you would be difficult on the orb matter, and only wished for you to know that she has much information on changeling spells you may not be aware of. She obtained a tablet, and if the orb is of changeling spell as the pet implied then-"

"She is not my pet!"

The entire cave rattled, shaken with her power.

"...I have no need for your tablet, or your powers. I have my own plans for that orb, and it matters more to me than my life itself."

"More than her life?"

The light of the cave finally dimmed slightly as silence reigned.

"As I said, my Queen expected you to be... upset, so she is willing to give you time to think on the matter. She has heard things of you. Things that she feels gives her a... connection, in a way, to you. She has more she wants to know."

"...if she ever finds out the truth of that orb and what I will do with it, its already too late."

"I see."

Before her, she laid a single insect shell, a stag beetle with no legs and no wings.

"If you wish to discuss further, my Queens will-"

"I will give your Queen two days."

The light had been snuffed out, the cave now pitch black.

Nothing save darkness, and the pony still glowing in the middle of it.

"If after two days she had not returned my friend, I have no reason to assume she has not been killed. If I think that is true, the hunt will begin. I know how to track changelings, I know how to find changelings, and I know how to kill changelings. For years, I've never wanted to do any of those things. But if you take away one of the last true things I have left... I will leave nothing behind. I will make sure your whole damn race is forgotten, I will make damn sure you're nothing more than a fairytale that we tell to misbehaving fillies, I will make damn sure that you all suffer for it!"


As every word had grown louder, the changeling's breath had grown short.

"Or... you can give me back my friend, I give you the activation sequence for the portal and even a clear path to escape once you're in the castle, you all hop on over there and do whatever you like, live a happy life as just some changelings who got lost in the woods and oh, would you look at that, they found their hive in the Empire and now they're just so happy to be reunited. You can have a safe, comfortable silly little life."

She still had not regained her breath when the pony's hoof laid upon her cheek.

"The choice is your Queen's, I know you have no part in it... but I won't give you any mercy because of that. Give me back my friend, or I won't hold back."

The black face was released, and with a gentle push sent backwards into the darkness. With nothing more to say, the pony began to take her leave.

"S-she can help you... with whatever you're doing."

Pausing only to hear the last words shuddered out from a shaken bug.

"She can help you... she's so smart, and if its true what she thinks, you can... you... you can..."

And to voice one last thought of her own, as the last of her memories clicked into place.

"...Tell me, little ling, how do you feel about marshmallows?""

The changeling blinked, utterly and completely confused.

"I... I've never had one, why?"

"Just remember what I said, and if your Queen decides to do something foolish... try one."

A flash of light, and the teleporting spell had carried her away, leaving only the last of her words behind.

"While you still can."

In the light of the moon, in the dark of the night, the pony trotted back to what few things she had left, alone.

"I won't betray them."

Resolute only to herself, and the shadows around her.

"I won't be like her."

Never knowing what was coming for her when the dawn finally rose.
Soooo, Salts gonna fuck up and betray her, right?

I mean we're telegraphing this, this is fucking spelled in the sky. Glimglam's gonna be like "You want that power? Fuck over Sunset!" and he's gonna be like "Okay!" and then he gets Orbed. I literally see no other way this goes down.
>That's fucking AUTwo
Oh my god
Wow, Sunny is not fucking around.
>"I won't be like her."
~She will.~
An odd ultimatum considering they've had the most minimal of interactions.
Sunset has the Variolus Orb and the Godsuit.
Well, yeah, but her masterplan seems wholly detached from that.
Yeahhhh, probably gonna heel turn, which I don't like. I mean I know we're setting him up to be the villain, and don't get me wrong they've done a fan-tastic job of showing the stress he's under and how much he wishes he could do something to help, so maybe Chitty's Supersuit is the thing he fucks her over for so he can do the right thing, but damn, I really like that Salt seems to genuinely not want to hurt her and even help her through most of this. I like that she has someone in her corner!

Probably gonna happen and its not bad writing, it fits, its just sad.
Her master plan seems to be to get Salt to be more powerful than every one of the alicorns and the Godsuit was specifically made to fight GOD.
It might also be a trick so she can take it.

>Salty? Where is my super suit!
"Oh no."
>Where... is my... SUPER SUIT!?
Sunset sure has done a 180 from that time she stupidly tried to troll Salt for no reason.
Yeah, and I like how gradual it was. She straight up fucked with him, sent Altelstia on a rampage, fucked with his plans and all that and he...

Just kinda let her off, and when the chips really came down and the whole gaggle of the other world came to his, and he REALLY needed some brownie points with them after the AUJ incident, he never gave her up. Thus far, he's not undercut her or betrayed her even though we know he's gonna I think it really speaks to her mindset right then that she was actively trying to set him and Altwi off, she was straight up pushing for them to do something to her, she was sick of the secrets and the lies and just wanted to blow it up in their faces, but while Altwi acted like a dick to her and threatened her later, Salt never did. He actually stuck up for her with Altwi.

It wasn't an instant 'Now we are friends!' just eventually it changed to "I won't actively betray him", and I like that.
I do wonder if it is just going to be he's pushed to the breaking point and has to betray her because being Sunset is suffering, or if its Altwi who fucks her over in a surprise twist because Sunset can't have nice things.
The being sick of secrets thing was a stupid meta excuse after she basically had no reason to act the way she did.
Eh, she still thought about her friends like Fizzle and Sweet Note first, she has friends in this world.

Its literally what set her off, she didn't act that way randomly. I mean that specific revelation is why she did it.

She had every reason to act like she did after what that kind of acts did to her.
>a stupid meta excuse
She outright said it to Altwi.


Opens door.

"...I can explain."

>...Sweet Note, take that dick out of your mouth and move back, I'm about to open fire.


>Times up.

>she didn't act that way randomly
She really. She jeporadized her place in a safe haven, for what? Nothing. She goes on to be secretive anyways.
Yes, after she acted like an idiot. A character saying something doesn't preclude said thing from being meta.
>She jeporadized her place in a safe haven, for what?
Preventing herself from getting fucked over?

>A character saying something doesn't preclude said thing from being meta.
That is very debateable because then meta is meaningless, its not like we flashbacked to her learning the secret and that set her off 'after' she told Altlestia to fuck shit up, we saw her reasoning for what broke her at first and the talk with Twilight was just further explanation. If meta is just explaining stuff you already saw further than it doesn't mean much.
>Wait, did that orgy happen?

"No, darling, it was a non canon."

>Ohhhhh... can we make it happen?


>Awww, but why?

"Half of us don't like each other."


"You get one, maybe two butts at a time, be content with that."


>Okay, yesterday I might have gone off a little on him. Its fine! I was wrong! Nothing wrong with a little blowjob between friends, she likes it or something, its her job! Maybe I was too mean, I'm gonna calm down, walk in her nice and slow, and-

Door opens.



"It uh... its my civic duty to drain down the pressure for his mental of physical health, technically I am duty bound to-"


~Oh come on, does she even like you?~

"I think she liked me!"


~Wait let me pull out of him first let me pull out-~

What was she going to get fucked over by? The only reason she even knew what was happening is because 13 told her, but all that came of it is that Salt asked Celestia to do was see reg-Celestia. There was nothing nefarious on his part, as the story assured us, and she put herself in a position to get fucked over even worse over nothing by acting incredibly smug and diving head first into the shallow end of the pool!
>but all that came of it is that Salt asked Celestia to do was see reg-Celestia

Seriously think about that for a second, this guy who is in control of a shitload of territory, and who took A Celestia's power, tells a de-powered Celestia to just 'Go talk to Celestia'. Now, as far as you know, he has no reason to do this for political reasons, 13 saw him be openly hostile towards Celestia before bribing her, and he apparently has some desire towards the Regverse. And then he hides literally all of this from the sister he supposedly gushes over, only conducts this in a soundproof bathroom, and then denies it to Luna, which she saw, when he comes out. Oh and he wants you to possibly build portals to other universes for 'resources'.

She was smug because she was sure she just blew up his attempt to take over Regverse using Altlestia as a catalyst for... something, before she could be used by him for it. It literally never crossed her mind he just wanted to see if she could get better. Why would it? All she's known for the last couple months is schemes for power and betrayals. The idea Salt was just being secretive because he didn't want Altwi or Luna to have to see her or didn't know if it would work just plain never occurred to her.

>I think apologies are in order.

"Oh, okay."

>....any time now, champ.


>You facefucked my friend!

"She said I could if I paid her!"

>Not better! Oh! And then you fucked Flash!

"Do you like him or something!?"

>He's the pony version of a teenger who's a human from another universe linked to the previous universe I came from that I may have dated as a human one time!


>You should be! And you know what the worst part is?


>You never even offered me! How could you!?

"Oh... I just didn't want things to get awkward with my Sunset."


"Oh no, oh no! Please don't shoot me again! Please don't-"

>What are we waiting for!? I've always wanted to have a threesome with myself!

Yes, really. That is almost literally all that came of it. Your interpretation would be more convincing if we maybe knew what 13 actually said or heard and it supported such an assumption, but we don't. As it stands, Sunset blows his supposed plan wide open and instead of taking a moment to think, she smugly rushes forward to ultimately do nothing and look like an idiot, possibly risking being killed. You're better off saying she was simply suicidal, because that's what it was. Stupidly suicidal and not in a well-executed way.

>So are you ever gonna stop being angry? Its been two threads now.

"Hm? Oh, we stopped being angry a while ago!"

>Oh... then what are you doing now?

"We are over it, so over it, and are now sitting down with a nice glass of wine and going MMMHMMMM, as the mares do!'

>...you know you're not supposed to drink while pregnant, right?

"According to whom!?"

>Science over the last two centuries.

"Oh? What did they find?"


"Oh no."

~~~~Ten years later.~~~~

A deformed Alicorn smacks sideways into a wall over and over, his akimbo eyes seeing nothing as they stared out into the sky. His parents look on, sad.

>That is almost literally all that came of it.
Well that was the point, Sunset thought it was a huge Keikaku but it was just Salt being kinda secretive.

>. Your interpretation would be more convincing if we maybe knew what 13 actually said or heard and it supported such an assumption,
True but surprise gotta surprise, we know what Salt did up to that point and what 13 saw, so any version of "Go talk to Celestia and don't you dare talk to Luna or Twili" is going to look the same way, like he's about to pull some shit with another version of the same pony he depowered and who 13 heard say she resented giving him said powers.

> possibly risking being killed
She had a cloaked 13 waiting to save her in case things went south, its not like she went in there ready to put her head in a guilotine. She was actually worried when Altwi put her in the lab because she genuinely did not expect Salt to send her that way, she was sure he was going to try something or call her out for messing up his plan.

If she was suicidal she would have told 13 to get Fizzle and Sweet Note out of there, not keep an eye on her.
Wow that got dark FAST

Also did we get unlock?
Let us find out!

>I laugh at depression!
>Rainbow Dash encounters a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on rainbows.
>Berry Punch tries Pinot Noir.
My god... its full of stars >>34968620
>Big Mac almost drowns in a pool.
When did they get that!?>>34986454
>You better believe that Trixie's got tricks up her sleeve.
And they can save a life.>>34986702
>The Crusaders find out that Bojack the horse is gone and everything is a little horse now.
This got weird.>>34986873
>That's Too Much Mare fanservice.
SNU SNU>>34983845

>Applejack asks how anybody could even like honeydew.

>Ah've got issues with you makin' golems outta apple trees.

"Why? They're the best tree!"

>That's the problem, they're too great! We gotta save them for us! Make some outta Honeydew or somethin', how could anyone even like honeydew!? Physically impossible!


>Impossible Ah' said!


>Can't happen!


>No... n-no... NO!



"We like Honeydew."

>Damn, I've gone a whole couple days now, and no sex! Do you have any idea what that's like!?


>I'm so alone!

>I got you chocolates.

"Oh, thank you! That's very sweet!... Why though?"

>No reason.

"Is it a like me thing?"


"I think its a you like me thiiiiinnnggg."

>No, shut up.

"She gave me chocolates because she liiikkeeesss meeeee."

>Shut upppppp.



"Like me!"


>You fought dragons and griffons and what not during the war, right?


>Why didn't they just fly over the shield? Or go around?

"They were nervous."

>They... were nervous.

"Well, yeah, it's called a chokepoint for a reason. Not everyone's a perfect invader, Princess."
You joke but Alt-Flash actually did address that he either aggroed them by making them directly charge him or shot them down with bolts when they tried to fly away, at least enough they'd get pissed off and attack him. Dragons are super susceptible to this for obvious reasons.

Also "Go around" is impossible for most because mountains.
Sounds a little too easy to do to keep every single flyer there.

>Mwahahahahaha! He's growing more tense and unhinged by the day! Soon! SOOOOON I will be able to turn him to my side, and use him for my probably very smart plan of EVVVILLLLL! AHAHAHAH!

"I'm so tense!"

>Nothing can save him now! MWAHAHAHAHAH!

'Oh, I'm sorry, dear, did you say you were tense?'

"Fluttershy! And yes, I am! Very much so! I'm so stressed and worried!"

'Oh dear. Well, I wasn't very angry at you anyway, and I think you understand what you did wrong.'

"I do!"

'Then I'm going to be a good marefriend, er, divine and help you out!'


She walks closer, and pulls back her hair.

>No... no! NO!

"Ahhhh, thank you, Flutters, this feels wonderful... you know, I was being too hasty and tense about things, maybe I should just calm down, go contact the other nations and have a nice, chill talk with my magic super shields-oh wow you are good with that tongue!... Anywhoo yeah, no need to betray anyone or be hasty!"

Well they were trying to kill him.

If you see an ENTIRE ARMY attack something big enough to hold back said army, why would you just avoid it? What are you going to do next? Lose the army support and then keep going on? He wasn't beating any of them. He didn't have a way to actually stop them, he just held them back. Assuming you're a griffon because dragons are dumbass roid ragers who would absolutely think the shield is calling them gay or something and needed to die, why would you volunteer to go on ahead instead of getting the Yaks and Diamond Dogs and Minotaurs and Abyssians through? You can't even flank him because bubbles. Bubble shields are a thing. Your best bet is hitting him where everyone else is and breaking it, he just held on.
And that was bump. One line recap!

>Ralt gets love advice and Sunset turns down a changeling deal!
>why would you just avoid it
To continue on with the attack? I mean, it was already implied that people were flying away, so he aggro'd them. And unless all you're dealing with are teens, then the elder dragons are dangerous enough on their own to cause a great deal of trouble. They could also carry them since they were working together.
>To continue on with the attack?
By themselves?

> I mean, it was already implied that people were flying away,
I think they were just trying to drop stuff on him, if they were trying to leave he'd let them so he could hold on. Surviving an army isn't worth shooting a straggler, and there were riots after the battle. Someone had to start them.

> And unless all you're dealing with are teens, then the elder dragons are dangerous enough on their own to cause a great deal of trouble
Oh yeah sure, but they also wouldn't want to do it all by themselves, if Elder Dragons are teaming up they're not doing it so they can be on the frontlines, why would an elder dragon even want to be in an army in the first place if he couldn't use the others first?

>They could also carry them since they were working together.
They'd have to do it one at a time and he'd be able to kill an awful lot of them, whereas the shield meant that he couldn't kill any of them. I don't even think he'd be able to seriously hurt them, knocking someone out of the sky is easy but damaging them straight on would be a harder shot while maintaining a shield.

This only works if the griffons and maybe a few dragons want to go attack by themselves instead of breaking the one dude holding back all the other army they can use.
>By themselves?
With other fliers, yes.
>I think they were just trying to drop stuff on him
That is a possibility, but doesn't preclude escaping.
>why would an elder dragon even want to be in an army in the first place if he couldn't use the others first?
I don't really see the logic here. If they're in an army, they're there to fight. If they wanted to hang back, they wouldn't show up at all.
>They'd have to do it one at a time and he'd be able to kill an awful lot of them
The elder dragons could probably carry more than one person at a time. But it seems like a handful of them should be able to punch through his shield anyways.
NEWWW THREAD>>34987786
PPanon here. I'm entertaining guests right now, so I need a sub. But please add in one about AU Rarity slowly descending into the madness of pink.
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>Ralt gets love advice and Sunset turns down a changeling deal!
>Next time! Twilight thinks this particular shade of purple is driving her crazy. Applejack realizes she might be a secret Orange. Celestia is so white she stains super easy. Big Macintosh wonders why he's the only Apple family member who's red. Zecora is confused about if she's grey or white. Luna thinks its not fair she's so dark, everyone judges her. The CMC are the perfect stop sign! Next time on thread 296:Paint with all the colors of the friend!... OH! And plenty of painting fanservice!
Damn it! I know I hit ctrl V, I saw it appear! Why did it erase? I must've hit X afterwards and fucked up.

>Ooooo, one last vision! AU Rarity slowly descends into the madness of pink.
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>the former student of the highest alicorn,
Oh for fucks sake just say Sunset
>The teacher of the fallen student
C e l e s t i a, is it that hard?
Whats the matter worried that some i/lit/ierrates are going to break into your house if you just use a characters name?
>Oh for fucks sake just say Sunset
He did, you don’t say someone’s name twice in a sentence you goof

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