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Last: >>34804715
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>>
Can we get a green of conqueror Anon invading Equestria and taking over?
>>
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Postin' the Pastebin to my story real quick. For the new thread.

Anon show's up to Equestria injured and plagued by nightmares. Twilight and her friends have try and help him but things keep getting weirder and weirder.

https://pastebin.com/aAwmJb5M

>>34874206
I think we did that in one thread with a sort of Mad Max vibe but I don't recall it ever going past a few funny greens. I was really hoping another Anon would've done something with it
>>
>>34874219
>Mad Max vibe
Wait a minute... Are you talking about this thread?
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34796234/#34796234
>>
>>34874237
oh man, yea that's the one. Didn't even realize it wasn't in an AiE thread.
>>
>>34874243
I was the anon who went in-depth about the mongol invasion plans for Equestria!
>>
>>34874206

I did a green a while ago about a Mongolian larper from the future who chased Twilight to Equestria that was going to go in that direction eventually in a somewhat roundabout way. I may or may not write that one again if there's any interest for it.
>>
/r/equesting a green where anon looks after a sick pone
>>
>>34874311
Oh, are you the Mongolanon from the kumis thread? Do you have a pastebin with your green? I liked it!
>>
older green, but...

>it was mid-morning when you heard them
>echoing across the plains of appleloosa, a faint roar gradually grows into a multi-toned cacophony
>squinting across the sun baked expanse, you spy a dust cloud rising on the horizon, glints of sunlight reflecting off of the stamped at its foot
>”he’s coming,” you think
>you’d heard the rumors, but thought them nothing more than idle cantina chatter
>you gallop madly from the field to your farmhouse, shouting for your wife to get into the storm cellar behind the barn
>she comes running from the porch to meet you, and you’d nearly reached the hatch when they were suddenly upon you
>a half dozen gutturally screaming horseless carriages careen onto your property, smashing fences carelessly and skidding between you and the barn, quickly circling the two of you
>trapped
>you hold the terrified mare close as the carriages shriek rhythmically, and mechanical ferocity that pummels your ears as black smoke belches from tailpipes
>they’re all the same shade of faded white, except for the left side door, which is red for reasons unknown
>tribal markings, perhaps?
>abruptly the noise abates, and you squint through the dust as another carriage, identical save for the uniform green paint and question marks painted on each door, rumbles slowly upon the scene
>you can scarcely make out the figure inside as a strange appendage reaches out, pointing directly at, at...
>your wife
>the green carriage screams away in a flurry of spinning wheels and dust, while a passenger leaps from one of the white carriages
>a unicorn stallion, mangy and wild-eyed, his cutie mark branded over with the same inquisitive insignia
>”Lord Anonymous will be pleased!”
>your wife is enveloped in a sickly yellow aura, lifted into the air and towards the open door while another holds you motionless
NO!
>it’s over as quickly as it began, the carriages roaring to life once more, showering you with sand as they fade into the desert
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>>34874441

yep, am that anon. here's the paste and am happy you enjoyed the green, https://pastebin.com/9Y4iDX1R
>>
>>34874219
>one thread with a sort of Mad Max vibe
Was it an /mlk/ thread? Because https://pastebin.com/wJfMpsyC
>>
LORE DUMP TIME.

Prose Equus 20

>Sunshine peaks through the leaves of the Yggdrasil through the open skylight above you. Although the World Tree extends beyond the clouds for miles above Asgard, it always seems to let the sun past it. Leaves from the great tree drift gently into the room and rest themselves on the surface of the bath water, intermingling with the soothing flower petals drifting across the surface of the water
>And right past a mane of red bobbing its way around.
>Baldur bursts from the bath gasping for air. “TIME!”
“Forty-seven seconds.”
>Baldur pants and makes his way to the side of the bath to rest. “Guh…h-h-how do the fish do it.”
“So does that mean that suffocating is a way to hurt you?”
>”I don’t know, I’ve never tried.”
>You shrug.
“Did it hurt?”
>”It wasn’t fun, if that’s what you’re asking.”
>Baldur rolls over upside down and does the backstroke through the pool.
“Why are you even here, Baldur? You can’t be hurt.”
>”So you’d rather be here by yourself? How painfully boring. How is your wound?”
“Tingly. But it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
>”I’m told that means it is working.”
>>
>>34875102
>In your latest journey, you’d been injured gravely. Your task was to search the Zebrican plains for a potion of immortality, stolen from the bottom of the underworld. During your search, one of Mjolna’s thunder cracks upset a heard of mammoths and you ended up poked through the gut dangling off one of their horns. Between your bouts of consciousness and once the panicking was done, you remember being returned to Asgard and told to get to “the pools”.
>You lift your hand up and let some of the water dribble down.
“A healing spring, hmm? Wish we had these down below.”
>”Can you imagine the chaos?” Baldur asks. “Mortals already through their lives away in all your wars and battles, imagine what would happen if you all knew you could just kill each other JUST enough so that you could make your way to a healing spring and recover.”
“Yeah imagine the immaturity that’d develop if you couldn’t suffer physical harm.”
>You gather up some of the leaves nearby and throw them at Baldur.
“LOOK OUT! ANOTHER ATTACK OF GREENERY!”
>The wet leaves cling to the Prince’s face as he floats past you, unamused.
>”Ha-“ he spits a few by his mouth away. “Ha.”
>You lean back against the wall of the bath.
“Will you tell me what had you so frightened during our tussle with King Krampus now?”
>”No.” he responds.
“And why is that?”
“Because you keep bothering me about it?”
>You’re about to kick Baldur in the head when the doors to the healing bath slam open.
>>
>>34875105
>”No-name, are you finished bleeding all over my palace floors ye-“
>Baldur nearly shoots out of the water and throws his hooves down below his belt. “MOTHER!” he cries. “GET OUT! WE’RE INDECEN-“
>Baldur’s head shoots back under the water just as fast as it shot out while his Mother approaches to a double-timed “clipclipclopclop”.
>”Princes. Do not. Interrupt. Baldur.” the Queen declares as her son thrashes about. She leaves his head under for a bit before Baldur can burst from the water yet again. “I raised you better than that.”
“Hey, that was fifty whole seconds. A new record.”
>Baldur spits and moves a strand of hair from his face. Sleipnir looks down at you.
>”Your wound. Recovered?”
>You let your hand drift down and tap the spot just below your belly button. You find it a bit stiff, like a cramped muscle, but don’t recoil from the touch.
“Sealed, Highness. A bit tender, but closed up, at the very least.”
>”Good.” She replies. “Make yourself decent and don your armor, then come to the south veranda. Do not make me wait. Leave your sword behind.”
>With that the Queen turns and goes to the door.
“Where are we going?”
>”I must travel the roots of Yggdrasil beneath Midgard, you will accompany me.”
>Beneath?
“What’s down there?”
>”The Well of Urd.”
>Baldur gasps next to you, calling your attention away just long enough for the Queen to give you the slip.
“Baldur? What’s the Well of Urd.”
>”I…don’t know, No-name. Mother visits the well periodically, but NEVER takes another soul with her, nor speaks of what transpires on her visits to anyone.”
>You look back to the door and narrow your eyes.
“Okay, but should I dress warm or cold?”
>>
>>34875108
>You decide that keeping the All Mother waiting is a really, really stupid idea, so you hurry back to your room and slip into your armor.
>Your gaze lingers on your sword resting on the wall, the slight weight displacement on your hips making you feel naked without it, but leaving it behind was as direct an order as was to hurry, so you leave it where it lies.
“Next time, I promise.”
>You make for the door to head out but get stopped by someone short in love with the color green.
>”The walls talk. Tell me they’re lying.”
“Loki, please? Your Mother is waiting for me and she almost drowned your brother earlie-“
>”ARE YOU GOING TO THE WELL OF URD OR NOT?”
“I guess! Now please!”
>You try to slip past Loki, but she repositions herself to block you. You expect a verbal lashing, but instead she just purses her lips and begins to bend her knees over and over.
“Loki, you’re bouncing, stop.”
>She continues to bounce, slightly humming to herself.
“Loki!”
>No dice, she was unresponsive.
>you reach out and grab ahold of the princess.
“HEY!”
>The princess finally freezes.
“I’m feeling on edge about this already. You’re not helping matters.”
>Loki takes a deep breath. “Apologies, No-name, but…you do not understand the gravity of the situation.”
“Sum it up in thirty words or less.”
>>
>>34875112
>Loki, practically beside herself like you saw Twilight act when the new encyclopedias came, looks you in the eye. “The Well is of the Primordial World! Set by the old gods and told to contain all the things the Nine Realms cannot hold!”
“Twenty-four, okay.”
>Loki ignores you. Think of the knowledge that you may see peering into its waters. Tell me you have it!”
“Have…?”
>”The stupid gem, No-name! This is no time to play as dumb as you are!”
>You stand and pat your pocket, Loki reaches into a hole in the air and hands over her amulet piece, nearly drooling at the thought.
>”I am giving you this so you can see all there is to see when Mother inevitably leaves you somewhere on this journey to go forward alone. You MUST take it and you MUST remember everything you see so you can tell me!”
“Loki I-“
>”ANONYMOUS, PLEASE! There are few things I desire in this world more than the secrets of the Well of Urd! I have no idea why Mother is taking YOU out of everyone, but we cannot let this opportunity pass either of us by!”
>So she could use your other name…
>Loki’s face was etched with desire and longing so strong you feel nearly dwarfed by it. You hesitantly reach out and take the Palantir base, pocketing it.
“Alright, I’ll do this…but please, move. Your Mother will know something is the matter if I don’t hurry.”
>Loki smiles an oddly earnest smile. “Thank you…No-name. From as far in my heart as it will let me dig. Now go! I need those secrets!”
>You slide past her and head down the hall.
>”Remember to take notes!”
>>
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>>34875116
-Later-
>”Keep us steady, No-name. Right towards the center.”
“Yes, Highness.”
>You maneuver the oar in your hands a bit and get your boat back on course.
>Once meeting the All-Mother, the two of you walked into a dense mist collecting off the edge of the veranda. You emerged at the edge of a black lake, with waters still as glass, before a single small canoe that Sleipnir had wordlessly climbed into and instructed you to paddle.
>You hear nothing. Not the wind, nor wilds, nor even the waves against the shore of the Well, and the Queen sits silently at the bow with lantern in grip keeping you on course.
>Still you can’t help but look anywhere else, towards the blackened constructions at the edge of the shore to the trees branches held in place amidst still air to the moon shining from behind clouds that do not move.
“Where…are we?” you ask the air, not expecting an answer.”
>”Somewhere between.” The Queen says, to your surprise.
>Sleipnir nods her chin to the far shore, where a twisting shaft of wood unrivaled in size rests on the shore, one end going below the surface of the water and the other snaking its way through the hills and beyond.
>>
>>34875120
>”In a space between spaces, betwixt the realms of the living and the realm of the dead.”
>You continue to paddle.
>”The Well of Urd…exists in perpetuation as it feeds Yggdrasil. All moments within happening simultaneously, endlessly, nourishing the World Tree eternally.” Sleipnir takes her eye off the waters and looks at the shores. “This place was beautiful, once…swans danced along the ripples and the grass smelled of dew.”
“Did something happen?”
>The Queen focuses again. “Something always happens…there, the reflection of the moon, stop us on it exactly.”
“Aye.”
>You maneuver the boat until it sits centered in the reflection of the moon and let it settle.
>”I must ask you to do something else, no name.”
“What?”
>”Do not shout.” She says, right as you notice your boat lowering and black water collecting at your boots.
>>
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>>34875123
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TkG8Q06dZE

>You open your eyes, but keep your breath hitched after about a minute holding both.
>Queen Sleipnir looks over the edge of your boat as it slowly descends through the air in a shaft of moonlight from the water’s surface above your head. The root of the World Tree from above descends with you like a second shadow, stretching out beneath the infinite blackness surrounding your shaft of light and going further down still. You wave your hand in front of your face and find it simply moving through empty air and with no small amount of hesitation, let the breath you’d been holding go.
“You could have warmed me…”
>”You wouldn’t have believed me if I did, you were too afraid of drowning.” Sleipnir looks back at you. “Fear denies faith, No-name.”
“Mm…so…where are we now? Further, uh…betwixt?”
>Sleipnir gently nods, looking below the boat again. “Betwixt…and beneath.”
>You follow her gaze and see the two of your lowering onto another body of water, this one holding ripples in it from the less-still air. Come to think of it, you hear things flirting off in the shadows, like air passing over the gnarled bark of twisted trees.
>”We are nearly there. Row is towards the guiding light and we’ll make our final destination.”
>You REALLY don’t like anything “final” down here, but you comply.
“Yes…”
>When the boat touches the water, you grab the oar and begin rowing again. Sleipnir keeps her gaze focused forward letting your thoughts remain to yourself.
>You see the orange guidelight the Queen spoke of in the distance, a dim orange ember from a lantern, no doubt. Keeping the boat steady was a simple matter and you soon found yourself more at peace with your surroundings.
>>
>>34875129
>Soon you feel your heartbeat fall in line with the gentle swaying of the boat, the rhythmic wind at your back, and the creaking of old timber. It’s a simple pattern you find meaning in, only stepping out of it when the wind at the back of your neck becomes warm and damp.
>You reach back to your nape on instinct and pat it, turning to look behind you in this unending darkness.
“What in-…”
>The creaking wood grows louder as something in the darkness moves.
>No, it’s more accurate to say that the darkness itself moves.
>The soft shaft of moonlight behind you, your only way out of this place, was now a mere needle at your back but as bright as Luna’s Eye itself in this place of shadow.
>The black expanse behind you shifts and grows stars as dark scales catch the faint hint of light from the moon while weaving through roots of the world. Pearls in the darkness open lids and turn to you as a blackened snout pierces through the shadow behind rows of glistening teeth. It’s size is truly massive as it slithers its neck directly towards your boat and shifts the very wind with its putrid breath escaping from its maw.
>In all your years, for all the dragons you’ve helped deal with and all the horrors you’ve helped face, nothing causes a tight spear of fear to drop into your gut faster than this creature before you. As you see yourself reflected in its empty eyes, you stumble backwards in the boat into the Queen.
“H-H-H-“
>The creature stops, still as a statue, as the Queen Sleipnir meets its gaze.
>Your heart thunders in your ears in perpetuity as the three dead eyes meet one another and all the creaking in this place stops.
>>
>>34875132
>Eventually, something louder than anything before sounds.
>”Go away.” The Queen says.
>The serpent hisses low and long, sending a draft throughout all around you. You grip the sides of the boat with both hands as it turns its head upwards and creeps back into the shadows, vanishing from sight and bringing the clicking of wood back.
>”Blind fool…”
“Wh-wha-“
>”This place is where Nidhogg resides…as living is too kind a term for it. Between chewing on the roots of the World Tree, he gnaws upon the oathbreakers and thieves who drift down to this accursed realm on their way to Helheim. He will not harm you so long as I am here.”
“Wh-why?”
>You hear a haughty grin in the Queen’s voice. “He’d choke. Sit yourself back and muster your courage, this old bat will row us the rest of the way.”
>Your eyes are fixed ipwards as Sleipnir takes the oar, watching the twinkling scale-stares disappear into the blackness even while they leave their terror in their wake.
>>
>>34875133
>”We’re here.” Sleipnir says as the boat knocks against a simple wooden dock at the edge of a small mass of land.
>You lower your hands from your face, steeling yourself again and looking past the All Mother.
“I’m ready.”
>The dock serves as a front porch to small hovel the a hollowed-out husk of one of Yggdrassil’s many roots down here.
“…This is what we came here for?” you ask.
>”Come…” the Queen says, tersly.
>You follow her out of the boat and along the dock, she doesn’t stop as she throws the front door open and lets herself in.
“I must ask, do you not care at all for privacy?”
>”I’m expected.” Is her only answer.
>You follow her inside the hovel and find it empty. A fire burns in the hearth, tables and chairs are sat around, and spools of yarn sit among effigies of ponies and griffons and everything in between.
>But no one greets you.
“Highne-“
>”I want you to sit.”
>Sleipnir turns to you from where she is, before a doorway further into the hovel that many of the lines of yarn go under. “And await my return.”
>The Queen looks back to the door with a stone-etched face. “You go no further this day.”
>You feel your rear falling into a seat before you realize it.
“Just…sit and wait.”
>”…Do as you will until I return, but do it here.” Sleipnir says, before opening the door and walking inside.
>Moments pass, a few to know you aren’t being listened to, before you quickly dig out the pieces of Palantir, assemble them, and look deep into the soothsayer’s gem while the mist begins to overtake you.
>>
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>>34875135
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MPuWUMGUAk
-Sleipnir PoV-

>You feel something prick at the back of your neck, the feeling of being watched through time and space. The trinket in his pocket screamed like a newborn to your senses, and so you worked that much harder to mask its presence.
>Now you do the same to him as you walk down the stairs beyond the door.
>Your body aches with pain as you descend, from your withered joints to the runes carved in your teeth, as you suppress the hatred you feel for this place once more.
>You descend the stairway to a small grotto, hidden in this husk of the World, by following the trails of string. At the shores of a small pond of water black as the Well above, the twines dip inside and sink to the bottom, with a single strand of silver, threaded rope rising from the center of the water and up to the ceiling.
>There, like every other time, you can see the blue sap of the Yggdrasil, more precious than any life that ever lived, softly glow and illuminate the smooth stone cavern as the silver string was gently yet firmly woven into it between the bark. You believe the wound was an old place that Nidhogg chewed on and left, possibly warded off when the chittering voices in the cavern began to echo through it.
>”She’s here.”
>”Of course, we called her.”
>”I’m always afraid she won’t show.”
>”It’s not like she can say no to us.”
“I am here. Whisper not in the shade like children and appear before me if you make me go through all the effort of coming here.”
>”My my…” one says.
>”Who are even we to resist an order from the All Mother?”
>The surface of the water begins to ripple.
>>
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>>34875138
>From the depths arise a trio of hippocampi, multicolored scales shimmering in the light of Yggdrassil’s blood.
>”We come, as called. Great One.” The blue one says.
>”Not that we didn’t plan to come up for air now anyway.” Said the purple one.
>”Though who can say when we may go back to our work?” says the golden one, ushering her sisters beneath her hooves. You knew them as Wyrd, Veroandi, and Skuld; ministers of the Past, Present, and Future respectively. They have as many names as there are names to call, stretching from all corners of all realms. The Three Faces of Hekate, The Sisters, The Weavers, the Spinners, but collectively you call them-
>”Great Norns.” You say, bowing your head. “I have come, as I heard your call through the Bark. Why do you seek me?”
>This close, you push all but your surface thoughts down away, lest they find the thread connected to them.
>The Three Sisters each grin in unison, floating around you in the air like fish in water.
>”We have watched, Slippy, as we always do.” The gold says.
>Wyrd flashes her purple teeth against the sheen of the sap. “We saw what you did at the Gate of Tartarus! The Asgardians and the Mortals, fighting side by side!”
>”Yeah!” says the blue one “Way to go! It’s really impressive what you’re doing!”
>The silence brought by Veroandi’s remark is only broken by your sigh.
“Yes. Asgard intervened to save the mortals from opening Tartarus and sending the world into ruin. We would be more involved than we are now if anything escaped.”
>Skuld flutters in front of your face. “Did it occur to you that perhaps we PLANNED for the world to get ruined a bit?”
“No.”
>”Why?”
“Because I know your plans.” You hiss.
>>
>>34875139
>All three of the sisters huddle close together before you and all grow the same wicked grin at the same time.
>”Yes…you do, don’t you?”
>Together they usher out a single strand from the twine going into the World Tree, a strand you were familiar with.
>”Look at you, O One Eyed Mother. The fates have put so much work into you that we needed all five of your children to wrap everything together at the end!”
>A fire strikes at the end of one of the strands but is quickly put out.
>”Whoops! Too early. Yours and your children’s story isn’t meant to end…just yet, is it.”
>You lower your head slightly, knowing to what they refer.
“Yes.”
>They pull the strand back further away from the fire, into the past. “And you know what would happen if you maybe…stepped out of the line again, right?”
“Stop.”
>Voices from your past echo through the cave.
>”Brother, come join me.”
>”I will be all that I must be.”
>”This is our world so it isn’t theirs.”
“Stop.”
>”…And who might you be?”
>”She is beautiful…”
>”Keep. Up.”
“STOP!”
>>
>>34875141
>Finally, your words overpower the echoes and leave just you and the Norns.
“I KNOW your plans and I KNOW what you have in your hooves, do not take me for a fool! Simply tell me what you desire me here for so I may leave this place!”
>”Are you giving us attitude!?” Skuld demands.
“Are you interested in becoming dinner? Which is faster? My spear from Asgard or you getting to that string.”
>Skuld’s sisters look between you and the string, snarling their teeth before Skuld raises her hoof and laughs.
>You grit your own teeth and pull back your lips as she gets closer.
>”Slippy…you always make me smile…but I’d watch that mouth of yours, it’ll get you into trouble one day.” She reaches out and pats your check with her hoof, you restrain yourself from biting it off.
>”We wanted to call you here today to say we saw what you did and to tell you that it hasn’t upset anything major, but don’t think bigger than you are “All-Mother” A Queen is nothing to a God, and both are nothing to US.”
>Every muscle in your body urges you to either lunge forward and decapitate them or scream until their ears burst. But you know that so long as they have that string, anything you can do, they know you can do.
>So you simply lower your head as they wish.
“As you say…Great Norn.”
>”You can go.” Skuld says, taking back to the water with your thread in her mouth. Her sisters either make faces or wave at you like fools before joining her and leaving you alone to return up the stairs. No-name would still be there.
>>
>>34875142
-Anon PoV-
>You’d seen it all.
>Couldn’t make sense of half of it, but you’d seen it all.
>The boat ride back is quiet, neither you nor Sleipnir having anything to say to one another after what you’d both just experienced.
>Even Nidhogg didn’t approach you both as the shaft of moonlight carries you back to the world.
>Finally, she speaks. “I desire you to not tell Baldur or Loki about what you saw.”
>You thought she knew about the Palantir, but don’t have the energy to ask now.
“Why?”
>”It is not their place, and they will worry. Tell them I…communed with water spirits to foresee calamity.”
“Another lie?”
>”You’d be frightened to know how much of our world is built on lies and myth.”
>You think back to the cavern and what you saw, the mind races with wonder, and your mouth can’t keep up.
“Who were they?”
>Sleipnir is silent.
>”You treated them like…they ruled over you.”
>Still, nothing.
>After everything in the past few hours, your patience is short, so you turn your back to face her.
“Well!?”
>”If I tell you.” She immediately begins. “Then you will no them as they are, and thus they would know you. Do you want that?”
>You think to the things you’d seen in the cavern, the power they held over the most powerful.
“No…”
>”Then sit down.”
>You obey but hate feeling helpless. You risk speaking once more.
“They look familiar.”
>Sleipnir says nothing, but her eye turns slightly to see you.
“In a story Twilight told. Three Sirens, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Sonata Dusk, were ancient terrors that used their magic to terrorize Equestria. Starswirl the Bearded was said to have thrown them into another dimension.”
>Sleipnir looks ahead as the boat appears again on the surface of the Well of Urd. “He missed.”
“Yeah…”
>>
>>34875143
>You grab the oar and take the two of you back towards the place you came from.
“What do we do now, Your Highness?”
>”What we can do, No-name. Continue.”
“But those creatures…what were they do-“
>”Do not concern yourself with them now.”
>Sleipnir turns her eye to you. “Do not fear the past, do not dread the future. Focus on here, now, today. What can you do? What can we do?”
>You feel at peace looking upon her steely gaze and find yourself firing up.
“What we have. Continue to travel around and find things that would disrupt harmony around the world, mostly magic artifacts and the like.”
>”Indeed…and you will do something for me between these searches. You will learn of the Frost Giants.”
“Highness, there are no Frost Giants.”
>”So they say…” Sleipnir ponders as the boat reaches the shore. She steps off and heads back towards the mists, you follow.
>”Tell me when next you travel to Midgard, No-name. I would accompany you.”
>You nearly trip at that.
“My Queen…why?”
>Sleipnir steps on a rock as she enters the mist, the rock explodes into dust and pebbles beneath her diamond hooves. “After today I find that I have some rage I wish to express.”
“Yes ma’am.”
>You hurry along after the Queen and into the mists.
>>
>>34875144
Pastebin updated
https://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
8th is back, where's the master list update?: https://pastebin.com/iYe18f5C
Whatcha think.

I wrote 4500 words in about 4 hours after work and with work on the horizon tomorrow. Cuz I'm a stud and I love you guys thaaaaaat much.

Who are these three salty bitches? How much rage is Anon in for? What can any of us do to escape the seemingly inexhaustible hand that holds our lives and our futures hostage? How will all the video games coming out soon effect my writing and update schedule.

Find out next tome on...A...I...E!
Music: https://youtu.be/hXZ12NiziBo?t=64
>>
>One day anon decided to troll Rainbow Dash
>He did this by vandalizing some building in Ponyville by writing a graffiti on a wall with the text of something like "rainbow crash sux cox lul"
>Dash, being so insulted, could not let this pass by. She vandalizes the building even further and promises to find and punish whoever wrote this about her
>One night someone(pony) else joins the vandalization of that one poor building by continuing to insult Dash
>Eventually some other ponies join in and jsut write their personal thoughts or use this wall to chat with each other incognito style
>In the end this entire affair at making Dash mad eventually gets lost underneath all the "shitposting" that other ponies have left on that wall over the course of several months
>>
>>34874194
Ponies are an inherently magical and hyper-social species.
Anon is from a species of omnivorous apex predators.
Does Anon have magic, or does he generate an anti-magic field around him?
Discuss the repercussions.
>>
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>>34875974
>Does Anon have magic
No, magic is sort of like a field of energy. Species native to magical environments have adapted to take advantage of this field. However, artifacts of arcane nature can be used by Anon only if they don't require the user to have magical capabilities

>does he generate an anti-magic field around him?
lmao no, this guy ain't Touma. Although if he did, simply touching a creature could have unintended effects. Sort of like an instant Tirek without the power voreing. Earth ponies would be weaker, Pegasus wouldn't be able to fly, Unicorns... well, use your imagination.

If an earth pony were to hit anon, on the moment of contact I would say Anon would feel it but it would be much less powerful. Also if they're carrying heavy loads it could crush them, but since anon has to touch them he would run the risk of being crushed himself.
Never ride a pegasus lest you drop from the sky like a rock. This also means that if anon were to be in cloudsdale and fall through. He would most definitely die, along with any other pegasus that tries to save him.
Unicorns will no longer be able to cast magic and any arcane apparition that they create will instantly be nullified by Anon. So if a Unicorn were to make a golem and commanded the entity to strike anon, on the moment of contact it would dissipate. Portals too, would be dispelled so depending on the closure time of a rift could sever anon in two.

tl;dr
Anon cannot touch a pony without weakening them
>>
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>>34876167
>lmao no, this guy ain't Touma.
IT'S NAHT A TOUMA
>>
>>34874728
Are you gonna continue that green? It was fun
>>
>>34874728
Anon, I need you to finish that green. Please.
>>
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>>34874194
>a mare
>more intelligent than a stallion
laughinglatchbeards.jpg
>>
>>34876167
>horse kicks dont hurt
are you okay anon? do you have brain damage?
>>
>>34876167
This post drastically misunderstands how Imagine Breaker works.
>>
>>34875154
Good shit Man. I'm hype for more Dazzling shenanigans.
>>
>>34877581
and is just and ew headcannon
>>
Last AiE thread got 506 replies, but this one's hanging around at page 9 with 40 replies? Ashamed bump.
>>
>>34879342
Dying fandom. Dying board. Dying general.

I have six threads open and they're just about all either "bump, the general" or "imagedump thread that used to have greentext and shit, the general."
>>
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>>34879421
Maybe it's time for the ride to stop
>inb4 you're here forever
>>
>>34874206
i’ll get typing
do you want him to villainous
scale of golly to haber
or calculated
sombra to Rommel?
>>
>>34879342
Dumb doomnigger. Last thread got something like 5 updates from the same writer and you still pull this shit.
>>
>>34879727
Rommel. He has this shit planned. He's the kind of person who's prideful; not enough to be overconfident, just enough to know he has to put effort into stuff to get it done. He's not evil, he was just given the opportunity to conquer after being thrown into Equestria, and he took it. Fame and prestige are his goals. Establish a stable and lasting empire. He idolizes conquerers of old; Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan.
>>
>>34879808
good
ill type something and when I feel its not completely cancer i’ll blast
>>
>>34874206
You asked for it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZY2mRG5mzg
>be Anon
>be in magic pastel horse land via authorial fiat
>you have been brought before the Princesses, Celestia and Luna
>they walk down slowly from their thrones and squint at you
>they circle you, looking up and down
>...wat
>are they smelling you?
>they are!
>later you will explain that you were seized by a sudden whim
>you reach out and touch the tall white one on the nose, very gently
"Boop."
>and swiftly to the slightly smaller blue one also
>both are stunned
>both tip over like fainting goats and lie their twitching with all four hoovsies in the air
>as they twitch you climb up the dais and sit on one of the vacant thrones
>the Princesses disappeared while your back was turned
>you learned much later that they've been on an extended vacation ever since
>years later a commemorative gold one bit coin is struck with the new Royal Seal
>which is just a circle with a question mark in the middle
>in an arc at the top it says "THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY"
>and underneath it says "WHO BOOPS, WINS."
>camera zooms in on Anonymous
>sweating atop the throne, signing a stack of papers held up to him by Raven
"Meh. It's a living."
>>
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>>34879342
at least try you lazy fuck
>>
>>34879421
bye.
you won't be missed
>>
>>34876692
>>34876940

>You feel an immense disorientation as you reach for the tea, as if an eon has passed in the moment you reached out for it.
>You dismiss it and take a small sip from the tea while Lyra looks at you… expectantly?
>As you savor the excellent mouth feel of the tea, a beverage you haven’t enjoyed for years due to it’s price, you feel moderately tired.
>As well as the feeling of being watched from earlier, like someone is staring into your soul.
>You shrug that off as well and bring the tea to your mouth again.
>Before you can take another sip you see and feel the disturbing sensation of a translucent naked man trying to wrestle you.
>You spit your tea out and smash the cup against the man, the cup passes through and smashes on the floor, your fist however connects and sends him flying to the corner of the room.
>You ignore whatever words your horsey host is blabbering and move towards the ghost, righteous ass beating fury in your heart.
>You get to him and bring your fist up and yell “I’m gonna beat your ass!”
>Just as you’re about to deliver your fist, you are shook.
>The naked translucent ghost man has your face.
“Who the fuck are you?!”
>”I’m Anon, who are you?!” your duplicate says, mimicking your voice.
“You can’t be Anon if I’m Anon!”
>You almost strike but hesitate when you see the man staring blankly at you, tears in his eyes.
“Evil doppelganger aren’t you going to dodge?”
>”I’m sorry you’re just the first person to interact with me in a while...”
“I would expect a creepy assaulting ghost man doesn’t interact very often.”
>”I’m not a ghost, and I’m not evil, I’m Anon, proud Mongolian warrior!”
“So explain how you’re Anon, ‘Anon’, because I am very clearly Anon. And I’m pretty sure you need a Mongolian body to be a Mongolian warrior.”
>”I don’t know! I fell out of the window and was flooded by a rainbow, I’ve just been floating around since.”
>>
>>34875154
Interesting. Thanks for the update Mandroid. I look forward to reading the next one.

>>34879817
Not that Anon. Don't know if want tbqh. Seems like it could easily devolve into HFY. I'm not a fan of HFY.
>>
>>34880368

>He stares at space for a moment, deep in thought, before turning back to you.
>"I don't know if I should trust you, you could be a body snatcher, but you're the only thing I've interacted with in days. Anyways, maybe this is like the third episode of the sixth season of 'My Strong Horse' where the shaman splits the rider into two."
“You haven’t been able to talk to anyone?”
>”No. There was a mismatched creature that said I got ‘Nyxed’, whatever that means. I asked him a few questions like what a Nyx is, and he told me I was ‘too small-brained of an entity to understand the intricacies of multiversal humor’ before ignoring me.”
“What an asshole!”
>”Right?”
“Well actually, back to the important business of what happens on my, potentially our, favorite TV show ‘My Strong Horse’, I must bring to your attention that the rider was split into good and evil parts as well as the fact that they merged back together after reconciling. I’m not feeling very evil… Anon.”
>”Well I’m not feeling very evil either!”
“Like an evil-doer would say...”
>”I’m not evil Anon!”
“Alright. So are we gonna merge since we've reconciled our differences?”
>”Uh sure, I guess, after-”
“Why were you attacking me?”
>”Yes! I was trying to rescue my body and-”
>You go into a sudden bout of reflection and deep thought, pondering the mystery. Rescuing...? That sounds not evil.
>Oh no, maybe you were the evil part...
“Why would you do that my fellow handsome Mongolian warrior?”
>”Oh well you see basically this pony, not horses-"
“Why not horses?”
>”Some sort of sexual euphemism apparently. So you, me, my friend, this mare slipped some sort of strange sleeping powder into our tea and I knew when-”
>A spark of golden energy flies from Lyra’s horn at other Anon, hitting the flesh of his immaterial thigh which falls and flakes off into pieces.
>>
>>34880394

>You are Lyra.
>At first it seemed like the sleeping herb was having a strange effect, but then he started having an extended conversation with the air.
>You tried communicating with him but he ignored you.
>...
>Could it be a scrying or remote-communication spell? Perhaps even a spell to filter you out?
>Whatever it was, it couldn’t hurt to check.
>You couldn’t have someone watching with what you would do later.
>Other ponies might not understand, they wouldn’t have to understand if they never knew.
>You knew that once you charmed him and he fell hopelessly in love with you, you would live happily.
>Hands…
>Focus Lyra. Ignore whatever the creature is saying and get to work.
>Using your magic you discover there was strange magic around where Anon was talking to nopony.
>After magically analyzing it, it seemed like a ridiculously complicated spell, it would have to been cast by an Alicorn.
>The Royal Sisters? Twilight?
>If one of the Princesses were scrying on you…
>It’s okay Lyra, don’t hyperventilate.
>...
>You can flee Ponyville with the knocked out human and live contently somewhere else.
>Step by step.
>You got this…
>You channel your magic into a spell to destroy the spell and send it flying.
>It oddly physically interacts with the spell somehow, sending whizzing strands of magic flying across the room.
>You studied magic in Canterlot, you have no idea why a spell, even a high level one, would dissolve like that.
>You are shocked back to reality by Anon… screaming at the… strangely bipedal shaped spell?
>What's happening?
>Anon is moving?
>Focus, just a sleep spell and then the next step and-
>He’s… striding towards you?
“I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!”

It's revived. Hopefully I won't abandon this again.
>>
>>34879342
Newfags don't know 500 posts in 24 hours is bad.
>>
>>34875974
Anon is usually immune to magic.
This begs the question: if ponies are inherently magical and hyper-social, does that mean they have a sociable magical field? Would that make an un-magical Anon unable to "click" with the ponies?
>>
bump
>>
>>34881381
Lewd
>>
>>34881381
Don't.
At least reply to a story.
>>
>>34880769
>"it's not your autism, you're just nonmagical."
"Oh."
>and that's why Anon lives in a cave in the Everfree
>>
>>34874194
from the thumbnail, I thought Celestia had a massive cock and balls
>>
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>>34882865
>>
>>34880371
halted
>>
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>pastebins from OP weren't updated since June
>dropbox wasn't updated since 2015
>Every new thread has fewer writers and readers, takes a bit longer to reach bump limit (if it reaches it at all)
>fandom is slowly yet clearly dying

...do you have any greens about depressed Anon? I'm feeling really melancholic.
>>
>>34883422
former lurker trying to use an AED to this place when I can
>>
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>>34879824
breddy gud

>>34883422
My story is about a depressed Anon. I'm on vacation so I won't be able to make any updates until I get back from it but you're welcome to read.
https://pastebin.com/t8xCnKTx

I also just finished reading this pretty sad green. Although, it's a little OOC for a few of the mane 6, it was a pretty decent green. https://pastebin.com/S1GHszA8
>>
>>34883527
>>34883539
Thanks guys!
>>
>>34883578

Been typing this green for a bit, I'm a slow writer so forgive moi

Anon MD
>You look at your wrist watch.
>9:50 AM. I'm a bit early, but that should be alright.
>You knock on the door of the adorably cozy tree home.
>Shuffling from inside, what sounds like a book being set down, and a set of hooves trotting to the door.
>It opens to reveal a familiar purple unicorn.
Twi:"Um, hello? OH! Hi Anonymous!"
>"Good morning Twilight, I realize its not quite ten..."
Twi:"*giggle* it's perfectly fine, come in!"
>You both step in through the door.
>You set your bag down and pull the thoroughly read anatomy books out.
Twi:"Sorry I sounded kinda surprised to see you, I just didn't expect you to finish these so quick!"
>"Neither did I, although I figured it would be a bit quicker than when I first did human anatomy. you won't believe how similar human and pony anatomy is."
>She magics the books away from your grasp.
>Funny enough, it was easy. The naming was similar, they had a few extra bones and some less in other places, but overall very similar.
>A quicker conversion than you thought it would be. I'll have to burn everything I know about hands and feet, clear a massive hold in my head.
Twi:"Huh, it took me a week to go through these when I looked at them."
>"The stuff that took me the longest was the brief mentions on horns and wings. I was hopping to get more specialized books for each species, cause those just had a general anatomy of each tribe.
Also do you have anything medically relevant on crystal ponies?"
>She nearly drops the books out of the air in excitement at your request.
Twi:"YESYESYES! I DO! though not as much stuff on crystal ponies, but tones of stuff on the other tribes!"
>She magics away your books onto each one of their respective and well organized shelves, while pulling out other books she had on her mind.
>She sets them down on the table in the middle of the library as she calls them out, which you make your way to.
(cont.)
>>
>>34883634
Twi:"I've got 'Wings: From the Ground Up, a study of Pegasus wing anatomy (now with updated diagrams)'."
>Hehe, from the ground up...
Twi:"I've also got a book on Wing and pegasi related diseases?'The Pegasi Medical Text Book: Winging the Fight Against Disease'. Oh that's..."
>You chuckle.
>"Both work fine."
>Twilight moves down a few shelves, setting the previous books in front of you.
Twi:"Now for Unicorns I've got a three books on horn and magic related diseases, the first one covers detailed anatomy, the second and third ones cover certain magical related anthologies."
>"All sound nice. Wait, I've got this one, the second one?"
Twi:"Oh, 'Unicorn's Medical Guide: Malicious Magical Malignancies'?"
>"Yes ma'am, bought myself a copy a day ago."
Twi:"Hmmm, in that case..."
>She moves over a bit and magics out a different book.
Twi:"Maybe this one? I don't know how useful this one will be for you, it's helped me a few times lately."
>"What is it about?"
Twi:"This one was published a long time ago, like two hundred years ago, its about rare magical diseases. This is a copy of the one in Canterlot and I'm fairly certain its up to date!"
>"That does sound handy, I'll take."
>You pause as it's levitated over to the table.
>"You said you used it recently? How recently?"
Twi:"Well, I mentioned a while ago that me and my friends have had to deal with some really... weird... things that affected the town?"
>"Are centuries old rare diseases a common occurrence here?" You say jokingly.
>Twilight gives a nervous laugh while rubbing the back of her neck with her forehoove.
>"really?! Oh this is going to be fun!" Thank the superior being, I though this utopia was going to be a snooze fest.
>They rarely get cancer, Drug use is nearly non existent, and because they live on all fours falls are nearly exclusive to pegasi... that being said those falls are really bad.
>So when your trauma physician self read this, part of you died a bit.
(cont.)
>>
>>34883658
>Of course, not saying I want ponies dying, just want problems to solve... sounds like there won't be a shortage of that here.
Twi:"*giggle* fun is a weird way of putting it" she said while also turning her attention back to the book shelves, intensely searching.
Twi:"Now I thought I had a book that was sent to me by princes Cadence... On crystal ponies... somewhere..." Still looking.
>"Whats it look like?" you ask.
Twi:"It's got a blue crystal heart on the spine, its not that big of a book though, so It might be hidden away between books on the shelves."
>Huh that should be obvious.
>"Do you need some help?"
Twi:"Actually I think I left it up in my room, just a minute." She said trotting away up the stares.
>You get up from sitting at the table and make your way to the book shelves, maybe you'd have better luck.
>It's going to be hard because a surprising number of books here have gems on them.
Spike:"Looking for something Anon?"
>Spike snuck up and startled you a bit.
>"Oh hey Spike, yes in fact I am. Have you seen a book with a blue heart shaped gem on the spine anywhere?"
>Spike pauses in though at the head of the basement stares where he came from.
Spi:"Oh that one looked good! Twilight told me to stop trying to eat it, I think she hid it from me on the top of that far bookshelf."
>Sure enough under the window, glistening from the sunlight lay a gem encrusted book.
>"Ah, perfect! thanks Spike. Twilight! Spike found it!"
>The purple pokes her head out of her room.
Twi:"Huh? where?"
>"Top of the book shelf."
>Twilight rolls her eyes while she comes back down the stares.
Twi:"Right, cause a certain little dragon kept trying to eat it!"
Spike:"What? I've never seen a gem like that! It looks amazing!"
Twi:"I trust YOU won't eat this book Anon?"
>"Heh, I don't think so."
Twi:"Good, inside is all kinds of information on the anatomy of crystal ponies, you'll find it useful."
Twi:"Although, not many crystal ponies venture out of the empire..."
>>
>>34883675
(whops, cont. on the former)
>"It's on the entrance exam, that's why."
Twi:"Oh right, okay."
>You start to pack up all the new books into your bag.
>"Well anyways, thanks Twilight, these should come in handy, the exam date is coming up and these books should do the trick."
Twi:"No problem Anon, you sure to you don't need this general anatomy book here? the 'Hays Anatomy' one?"
>Oh my fu-
>"Nah, I've got some good notes from it, I should be fine."
Twi:"Okay."
>You start to make your way towards the exit of her home.
>"Thanks again! Sorry for coming so early, I've just been on a roll with the studying lately."
>You pause as you turn the door handle.
"And thanks for all the help with... you know, everything."
Twi:"N-no problem Anon! See you later!" She said with a happy little smile.
>And you finally make your way out her door.
>Gorgeous morning, not too hot and not too cold, just lovely.
>Some ponies are already headed to work, some are just now opening up shop.
>The foals and fillies are walking to school.
>Pegasi are clearing away some of last nights rain clouds
>Ah lovely.
>But as you start to make your way in the direction of your home you hear Twilight's door open again from behind you.
Twi:"ANON! Wait!"
>She gallops over to you, magicking over a book.
Twi:"You forgot this!"
>The book was the pegasi book from earlier, whoops
>"Oh! ha! I guess I forgot it, observant as ever Twi, I'd be lost in this world without you!"
>She hands the book over to you, smiling with a slight blush.
Twi:"T-thanks Anon, I didn't want you to forget it, like you said you have that exam coming up."
>"Clearly I'm super focused."
>You put it in your bag.
>"Thanks agai-"
Twi:"Anon! You don't have to keep thanking me! That's what friends are for."
>"Right sor-"
Twi:"*giggle* and stop saying sorry so much too!"
>You rub the back of your head.
(cont.)
>>
>>34883696
>"I guess I do say that a lot huh?"
Twi:"A bit, its not a bad thing to be polite but you can relax around me! I'm your friend."
>"You're right I have been a bit tense."
Twi:"Heh a bit."
>Some dead air. you pick your bag back up. Twi is not meeting your gaze and it nervously looking to the ground near your feet.
>"Well I shoul-"
Twi:"Wait! Uh, before you go, I know we haven't actually talked in a bit with all the studying and how busy things have been,
b-but I wondered if you'd like to join me for breakfast? I haven't eaten yet."
>A nervous smile is back to her face and she's looking you in the eyes.
>Come to think of it, you haven't eaten yet either.
>And though you've been studying hard lately, it might be nice to spend some time with Twi.
>You can't remember the last time you've actually hung out with her, or any of her friends for that matter.
>"You know what? you're right. I can't remember the last time we had a good chat... sure why not?"
>She's beaming.
Twi:"Lets head back then, I'll get spike to make some pancakes!"

>---<

Thats what I got so far, thought? if any, i'll work on getting pastebin

rip this apart I need work
>>
>>34883422
doompaul fag, contribute or just fucking go and stay go
>>
>>34883710
Your writing format looks a lot like roleplaying - too much, in fact. Try taking it a bit more towards narrative prose, and use sentences like "Twilight giggled" which opens opportunities for Anonymous to react - "God that's cute," etc instead of pinning it between asterisks. You're writing a story first, and conversation second.
>>
>>34883832
yeah I figured something was missing, that makes a lot more sense.
anon seemed too blank in it
>>
>>34874206
I remember someone posting a green about how Anon basically became Otto von Bismarck, taking the reins of Equestria while Celestia was away for something, and conquering the Griffons. also how he had a love triangle going with Luna and his assistant
>>
>>34884406
Bruh based.
>>
bump
>>
>Before coming to Equestria, Anon had two sources of income.
>One was a cashier job at a gas station that paid barely more than minimum wage, but supplied him with plenty of free coffee and truck stop food.
>And the other was his woodwork that he sold on the internet.
>Carvings, bowls, statues, canes.
>He made all sorts of things with this hands, and was able to rake in a pretty decent penny while doing what he loved.
>One of his favorite forms of creative expression, though, was wood burning.
>He'd find slabs of driftwood, smooth them over with plenty of sandpaper, and burn intricate designs over the surface.
>It's why, when he came to Equestria, one of the first things he was in the market for was a wood burning pen to start working with.
>His search brought some odd facts about Equestrian life to his attention, however.
>An interesting aspect of the world of pony body modification.
>See, ponies don't get tattoos as he learned.
>No, instead, ponies would get pyrographs.
>Literal burns on their hide that could either change the color of the hair that grew there, or stop the hair from growing altogether if it was severe enough, thus allowing an artist to create various designs for a client.
>It used to just be done with shaped irons, but Equestria was entering an age of unique, more detailed images etched out by professionals.
>Something Anon soon becomes once a pryograph shop sees samples of his work he made on wood.
>Now Anon sits in a shop, burning ponies who want to prove to their friends how tough they are while also narrowing their job opportunities.
>Hey, it's a living.

Taken from the RGRE thread in case anyone thinks it's a good idea since it doesn't exactly have anything to do with gender roles specifically.
>>
>>34884406
"Anon von Bismarck"
https://pastebin.com/r6Sqmqty

The second part, The War Within, never got very far before Clarissa got Propellere'd in November 2018.
>>
>>34885586
>RGRE thread
never saw the point of that
>>
>>34880417
I remember this green and i loved this, Anom give me more please
>>
>>34886113
Children always separate from their parents in an attempt to stand out.
>>
>>34887304
Every themed thread spawned from this one.
>>
>>34887591
And this thread spawned from Flutterrape.
>>
>>34887844
Which was a spinoff of greentex threads with weaver. this thread was directly made from the ending of the Rainbro ones.
Flutterrap and Rainbrow were around at the same time too
>>
>>34883539
That's a big muffin
>>
>>34888643
Yes. It is.
>>
>>34885586
I'll repeat what I said over there.

>Woodcraft Anon
I like this idea.

>Ponies branding themselves
This not so much.

Although I don't believe the branding stigma would be as much a factor here vs there.
>>
Just out of curiosity, does anyone even remember me?
>>
>>34890018
Yeah, you're the Applejack guy. I asked about you a few months ago.

What's up?
>>
>>34890022
Nothing specific, just been getting the itch to write again but still feel like shit most the time so I was wondering if anyone would care.
>>
>>34890026
You thinking about continuing the AJ story or doing something new?
>>
>>34890026
>if anyone would care
but I care. I liked your AJ story and it would be cool to see you continue it.
>>
>>34890034
I dunno... I'm starting to suspect that story may be actively holding me back and I might benefit from doing something different, but I'd hate to leave a story unfinished, start a new green, then get fucked and abandon that one too.

>>34890040
Thanks man, I appreciate that.
>>
>>34890049
>start a new green, then get fucked and abandon that one too.
Maybe do a short one?
>>
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>>34890067
I guess, yeah. I'll give it a thunk and see if I can plan out a basic outline for something relatively short that isn't too generic. Might try PiE instead of AiE...
>inb4 planning a new story and suddenly get inspired to continue appul
>>
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>>34890083
good luck m8
>>
>>34890018
I do too. It's good to see you. I'd love it if you could finish the AJ green. It was one of my favorites back when you were actively writing it. I understand if its muse isn't feeling it. Maybe a short one-short like the other Anon suggests would help wake up those creative juices.
>>
Made this for another thread and figured I'd share it here as well.
>>
>>34890018
Yes! Continue the AJ green pls!
>>
>>34890385
Neat
>>
>>34875974
Are bodyparts of his magical or anti-magical, or is the whole of him needed to the effect?
Asking for science.
>>
>>34890385
Those clothes are more detailed than the body and it makes my eyes hurt.
>>
>>34891658
Anon sees u mirin his butt. Don't lie.
>>
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Any Anon and Velvet fics/greens? Preferably in a motherly love kind of way, but romantic is fine too.
>>
>>34891702
I was looking around the butt
>>
>>34892921
When you stare into the butt, the butt stares back.
>>
>>34892480
>Breaking up a marriage
>>
>>34893823
Not a fan either
>>
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>>34893823
>>34894337
That's why I said preferably "motherly love" kind of way. Romance only if there aren't any platonic stories.
>>
>>34893823
There is this thing called alternate universes. She could be a single mother in one because her husband died or something. Or a romance between her and Anon before she met Night Light. And who's to say they're even enjoying their marriage anymore? Perhaps they want to break up with each other?
>>
>>34894384
I don't think I like where you're going
>>
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>>34895105
What do you mean? What's wrong befriending a motherly figure? I'm only asking because I haven't found any fics about it, unless you count that series where anon fucks all the mane 6's moms.
>>
>>34895425
>that series where anon fucks all the mane 6's moms.
link? ah, for a friend I mean.
>>
>>34895425
>>34895428

I'm his friend. Seriously need it. For research purposes.
.
>>
>>34895428
Nvm, I was thinking of a different story. The only few others I know with anon & Velvet is just clop shit and its not even good.
>>34895441
Check "Clopficsinthecomments" in fimfiction, he has chapters for each of them I think. How do you guys not know this series before?
>>
>>34895454
Well, considering where we are I was hoping there was a green of it. CFITC has only gotten 4 mane milfs prose done. Ihave the first in my RIL and was waiting for the last two to publish.
>>
Alright, it's a Wednesday night and the floor appears to be clear. Perfect timing to drop this.

>Rain.
>The newspaper reports that it's the last of it for the year.
>From here on out, it will be snow.
>But previous storms hadn't generated quite enough liquid precipitation.
>So today they're coordinating a big ol' front across half of Equestria.
>The southern states are still sunny, they can make up the rain down there later in the year.
>But in Canterlot, the skies are grey, the wind is cold and the rain is relentless.
>Folding up the paper, you tuck it under your arm as the taxi pulls up at the castle gates.
>Opening an umbrella, you step out onto a patchwork of cobblestones and puddles.
>Waving yet another royal summons at the guards gets you in.
>Briskly walking across the grounds, you find yourself only a bit damp by the time you reach the entry hall.
>At the doors to the audience chamber, the herald informs you that she is currently with another pony.
>So you take a seat.
>Ten minutes go by, and you start to feel that maybe this is intentional.
>You had an appointment, according to the summons.
>And it should have started seven minutes ago.
>Ten more minutes go by, and you have been offered a cup of coffee and a pastry.
>Munching on the pastry, you now know that she's messing with you.
>Probably upset about your private audience with Luna.
>Mares.
>Even alicorn ones.
>Still mares.
>Reaching into a coat pocket, you dump a bit of whiskey into your coffee.
>Just a bit.
>That'll make dealing with a huffy sun horse princess much easier.
>"Mister Anonymous? The princess will be ready for you shortly."
>On deck.
>Here we go.
>Quickly downing the coffee, you check your tie and scarf down the last bit of your pastry.
>On cue, you are allowed in to see your old friend, who seems rather unfriendly today.
>No bother.
>Walking confidently down the carpet, you approach the throne and offer a bow.
"You summoned me, your highness?"
>>
>>34896735

>"Sister tells us you were contrite yesterday evening, but you seem rather smug this morning, Anonymous."
"I wouldn't say that." you counter, straightening up. "Luna simply helped me come to some decisions last night. I would almost say that I'm feeling...confident?"
>"Indeed. Confident that you've evaded a lecture from me?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of 'ready to go back to Ponyville and confront this mess' but I certainly wouldn't be disappointed if I skipped a second lecture."
>With a tremendous sigh, the princess' stony facade falls and she throws a look of exhaustion and mild exasperation your way.
>"I have barely been holding court for an hour, and already have had to console two ponies and shout at another. And then you come in, neither contrite nor defiant, but simply your usual sarcastic yet optimistic self."
"Well, I-"
>"I sent you to Ponyville to get some rest and find some mares, Anonymous, not to become a street fighter."
"Luna seems to-"
>"I know what my sister thinks. And perhaps your mares find it romantic. I am not courting you, I simply received the report from Ponyville."
"We could change that, you know." you suggest, wiggling your eyebrows.
>It takes a moment before comprehension dawns across her face.
>"A princess does not humor the affections of a lowly brawler." she sniffs haughtily. "If only there were a stately gentlecolt of proper education about, she might have been interested."
"He already got rejected." you shrug "I thought I'd try the *bad colt* approach."
>"Anon, please sit." she instructs, pulling a chair from the wall with her magic and dropping it behind you.
>With a small sigh, you drop unceremoniously into the seat.
>It doesn't even have arms.
>"Anon, you know that Luna and I consider you among our few close friends."
>You nod.
>"So I want you to know that I know. We know. Between what you told Luna last night, the charade you're putting on right now and what we know from our friendship with you...we know."
>>
>>34896737

>You nod, slower this time.
>"I don't have to lecture you. And this is as close as I shall get." she says, straightening up. "I know that you would never start a fight, though your unwillingness to back down from one surprised both Luna and myself."
>Heh
>"I also know that you have spent most of yesterday and will spend most of today thinking about four mares back in Ponyville."
>Probably.
>"And nothing I say will bother you so much as the idea that you have disappointed those four."
>Hum.
>"So while you were ordered by the Court to apologize to one of the princesses, and that task is complete, the arguably more difficult task lies ahead still."
>Ugh, what is Roseluck going to say?
>"Now, I would love to talk all morning with you, but my schedule is unfortunately quite full. So I shall let you go, and test that confidence against a solitary train ride back to Ponyville."
>She smiles down at you, and you can't help but feel that she's rather smug about it.
"Of course. Sorry again for breaking the peace."
>"Get out of here before I give you a real lecture."

>Celestia certainly nailed it on the head.
>This train ride sucks.
>Your arm is throbbing and you can't stop thinking about the girls.
>As soon as you get Roseluck out of your head, Aloe steps in.
>Only to be replaced by Lyra.
>At least the Lotus in your head is supportive.
>But she keeps getting pushed out by disappointed mares.
>You had refilled your flask before you left, and it's already half-empty.
>Eh, it helps with your arm at least.
>A familiar speck in the far-off hills tells you that you're about halfway to Ponyville.
>Alright, well, what if we put together a game plan?
>That seems like a good idea.
>A plan of attack.
>Three of your mares will be at work.
>Your train gets in just after noon.
>So you'll have time to get back to your suite, take a short nap, freshen up, hopefully not smell like whiskey, and go to see Lyra.
>Then after Lyra...Rose.
>>
>>34896742

>Then after Lyra...Rose.
>Aloe and Lotus have scheduled appointments.
>Rose doesn't.
>Usually.
>Then, after Roseluck, you'll retreat to the Twins' place.
>Hopefully Aloe and Lotus will be the least upset with you.
>You might even crash with them for the night.
>It would be nice to have somepony to hold for a while.
>Wow, having mares is making you mushy.
>Or maybe that's the alcohol.
>Whatever.
>Freshen up. Then Lyra. Then Roseluck. Then Aloe and Lotus.
>Good plan.
>With that settled, you turn to look out the window and watch the farms roll past.

>Walking out of the station, you are greeted by...more rain.
>The same rain that covers half of Equestria.
>That pelted the train all the way back to Ponyville.
>And that is now soaking into your pea coat as you trudge through town towards the castle.
>What a miserable day, all around.
>Opening the door to the castle, you head up the stairs, and you can hear Twilight dictating something to Spike.
>You really should have spoken to Luna about getting the poor guy out of here.
>He deserves more than to be a secretary for his entire life.
>Closing the door behind you, you toss your bag on a chair and hang up your coat.
>Downing the last of your whiskey, you put the empty flask on your desk.
>Starting to strip down, you get your shirt and tie off when there's a knock on your door.
>Shit.
>You knew you forgot someone!
>Twilight!
>But! You've already given your official apology!
>So you're mostly off the hook.
>Maybe.
>Opening the door, Twilight looks up at you nervously.
>"We need to talk."
>Sighing internally (and maybe a little externally -whoops!) you step back and allow her in.
>She hops onto one of the chairs, and you prop yourself up on the bed.
>"So I heard about Cloudchaser."
>You just wait.
>"Anon, I know you've already been to Canterlot and apologized to Luna and Celestia, but I really feel like we should talk about this."
"Well, what do you want to talk about?"
>>
>>34896749

>"You got into a fight! What do you mean 'what do you want to talk about'!?"
"I didn't start it. I simply controlled the situation as best I could."
>"It doesn't matter who started it, you shouldn't have joined in!"
"I am going to defend myself, Twilight." you object.
>"Look, I know that Cloudchaser started it, but couldn't you have just avoided her?"
"Could I have outrun the second fastest pegasus in Ponyville? No."
>"Well I don't know, Anon. Maybe you could stop flirting with her sister! Then this wouldn't have happened! She already warned you to leave Flitter alone once, why didn't you just listen?"

"Cloudchaser does not own Flitter."
>"That's no excuse!"
"Well maybe my excuse is that Flitter is a cute and intelligent mare, and I happen to have an opening for one of those in the Herd that I am being *forced* to assemble."
>"Anonymous, don't try to push this back on me! I'm not the one who got into a fight!"
"Sure. I got into a fight. I already made my apologies."
>"Good. Now I want you to talk to Cloudchaser-"
>Well gee, that sounds like a swell plan, Twilight!
>You just shake your head silently.
>"I've already talked to her, Anon. You two need to work this out."
"I'll talk to her, but I make no promises."
>"Why do you have to make this difficult?"
"I have been home for five minutes, Twilight. I'm tired."
>"Have you been drinking?"
"Why does that matter?"
>"You have, haven't you?"
"It helped make the train ride manageable."
>"Anon, the entire point of getting you a Herd was to help you manage your life! What would Roseluck say about this?"
"Well, she probably wouldn't tell me to talk to Cloudchaser."
>"Anon, please!"
"Alright, alright." you say, doing your best to placate the purple princess "I'll talk to Cloudy."
>"Good." she shoots back. "Now as for your drinking-"
>Oh God...this is going to be a long one.
>She's rambling on down a list of the signs of addiction as your mind wanders off.
>You need a shower.
>Then a nap.
>>
>>34896751

>Or vice-versa.
>Then off to see Lyra.
>Octavia seems to think that will go well.
>You hope that she's right...
>"Anon! Are you even listening to me!?"
"Sure thing, you have successfully identified that I drink too much."
>"Aaaaaand?" she asks, leaning forward expectantly.
"I'm getting the sense that you want me to stop."
>"Yes, that is...technically correct." she says, shoulders sagging. "But I want you to do this for you, Anon. Not for me. Don't you know how bad it is for you?"
"Yes, Twilight. I know."
>"You don't have to stop drinking entirely. You can still go out with Rainbow Dash and Applejack once in a while."
>How generous of her.
>"Even though I've told Dash the same thing about her cider habit, but she really did perk up when I told her I thought that you had a problem..."
>Glad she shared that thought with everyone else before you.
>"...she's better at helping others than she is at helping herself sometimes. But really, can't you two find something else to do? Something productive? Or educational?"
"I'll look into it."
>"Good. Now I have a letter to Celestia to finish, but don't think I'm going to forget this conversation!"
"Of course."
>After a short pause, likely mentally running over her checklist for this conversation, Twilight hops off of the chair and trots out the door.
>You lie back on the bed.
>That...went about as well as could be expected.
>Mostly scripted, occasionally heartfelt, 100% Twilight Sparkle.
>And by refusing to refute her, you kept her from going off on any major tangents!
>Score one for the Republic!
>Now about that nap...

>You are rested.
>Clean.
>Sober.
>Generally prepared.
>But you still stand nervously outside of Lyra's house.
>Remember what Octavia told you.
>It's going to be fine.
>You shift your arm in its sling, and proceed through the gate and up the walk.
>Knocking on the door, you hear nothing.
>Knocking again, you hear a *whump* and scrambling hooves.
>>
>>34896756

>The door suddenly swings open, and a bleary eyed Lyra looks at your belt with confusion.
>Slowly she looks up, and jumps back.
>Then leaps forward, forcing you to try to awkwardly catch her with one arm.
>"Anon! I was so worried about you! Where have you been!?"
"Can we go inside?"
>"C'mon!" she agrees, grabbing your good hand with magic and practically dragging you into the living room.
>You're not sure if you even heard the front door close...
>She pushes you onto the couch and promptly jumps up to straddle your lap.
>Nose to nose with the mint musician, you do the only thing that comes to mind.
>You plant a kiss on her nose.
>She scrunches adorably, then sits down by planting her rump on your knees.
>It isn't comfortable for you, and you can't imagine that it's comfortable for her either.
>But she seems focused on inspecting your sling.
>"It's really good that you're wearing this, Anon." she says, checking that it's actually adjusted and you're not wearing it for show. "I promised Roseluck that I'd help her watch you."
"Oh really?"
>"Mhm! We all did! And after Rainbow Dash told me about your fight...oh my gosh, the fight!" she gasps "I almost forgot to ask! Anon, what happened? Are you alright? Rainbow said your arm might have gotten hurt even more-"
>Reaching up, you take Lyra's muzzle in one hand and steer it in for a kiss.
>With Lyra now suitably subdued, you take a breath.
"Cloudchaser picked a fight when I was walking Flitter home from the party." you state simply "My arm does hurt, I got tackled pretty good."
>Lyra stares at you, then your arm, then back at you.
>"You really should have avoided that fight, Anon. You could have gotten really hurt!"
"Well, I-"
>Lyra's hooves dig into your thighs as she rises to wrap you in a hug.
>"I just care about you, Anon." she sniffs "Be careful, okay?"
"Hey now, it's just life in Ponyville." you say, rubbing her back gently with your good arm. "It's not like I lead a life of adventure or something."
>>
>>34896761

>"Oh Anon, I know that." she says, planting her rump back down. "But Aloe is right... you seem to always find some kind of trouble."
"Oh yeah, because those two have any room to talk."
>"Anon!" Lyra exclaims "That wasn't very nice."
>You just give her a deadpan stare.
>"Okay, so maybe Lotus starts things sometimes..."
>...
>"And maybe Aloe encourages her."
>...
>"Stop that!" she says, breaking eye contact.
"And maybe cute, innocent little fillies like you shouldn't be hanging out with those *bad influences*" you suggest facetiously.
>"W-what?"
"I'm just messing with you, Lyra." you say with a laugh. "Aloe and Lotus are trouble, but the good kind of trouble."
>"Oh, good. Because-"
"I do think you're cute and innocent though." you elaborate. "Downright adorable, really."
>"You do?"
"Yeah, I do."
>She scrunches up for a second, before coming to some realization.
>"Hey! Wait a minute!"
>Uh oh.
>Here comes the lecture.
>"Don't distract me, Anon! I'm serious about you staying out of trouble."
"Oh, and what are you proposing to do about it?" you ask wryly, wrapping an arm around her barrel to scoot her in close.
>She wriggles around to lean back against you, your arm securing her in place as she stretches her head back to nuzzle your cheek.
>"I'll think of something, just you wait!"
"I look forward to it."
>"And another thing!" she huffs "What took you so long!? It's been like, forever since that fight!"
"Well, you're the first one I visited after getting back."
>"Back? Where did you go?" she asks, sliding onto the couch beside you.
>Lifting your good arm, you allow her to lay her head on your leg and proceed to run your fingers through her mane.
"I went Canterlot. To apologize to the princesses."
>"Aw, you should have taken me with you!"
"It was kind of a last minute decision."
>"Tavi was in Canterlot and everything! I wouldn't have been a bother..."
>>
>>34896765

"I know. I never said you were." you reassure her. "If you're free next time I go, I'll take you with me."
>"Promise?"
"I promise."
>"Okay. But if I'm the only one you've visited, you should probably go talk to the other girls now."
"Kicking me out?" you ask, slowly scratching your way up her neck.
>"Nnnngh...okay, maybe not yet."

>The market is reasonably busy considering the weather.
>Nightmare Night is coming up soon, so there are plenty of folks at Bonbons stocking up and as you approach the Flower Sisters' place you spot Daisy manning a cart full of Autumnal decor, doing her best to stay dry under the carts awning.
>Passing her by, you make your way inside and find the shop to be quiet, comfortable and full of the vibrant mélange of floral scents you have come to expect.
>You hear voices in the back, and the gentle clip-clop of hooves on a worn wood floor.
>"Oh, hello Anon." Lily greets you as she comes around the corner. "We were wondering when you were going to stop by."
"Ah, so that's why my ears were burning."
>"Mhmmm. So Rosey's in back...I'll stay here."
"Alright. See you later, Lily."
>Making your way around the counter and down the hall, you locate Roseluck, muzzle deep in an ornate arrangement full of gourds, preserved leaves and sumac tied together in a wicker form.
>"How is your arm?"
"Sore, more than usual." you confess "Maybe you were right about the sling.."
>"Of course I was."
"Rose..."
>"Anon."
>With a sigh, you drop onto a low stool across the table from her.
>If Octavia was right about Lyra, you certainly called Roseluck right.
>You wish you had been wrong though.
"Rose, about the fight-"
>She doesn't look up, but you can see her ears twitch attentively.
"You know I'm not the kind to start something like that, but you also know that I'm going to stand my ground, especially for my mares."
>"Mhm."
"I've held my tongue about the whole incident with Lotus, and I've avoided bragging about hoofball..."
>>
>>34896771

>Inhaling slowly you brace yourself.
"...and now it came to a head anyways over Flitter. So now I want to place a decision in your hooves."
>Her eyes tilt up just enough to peer over the mess of twigs and wicker between the two of you.
"Flitter. Keep going or drop it entirely, it's your call."
>You can see just barely enough of her eyes to know that they momentarily go very wide before Rose exhales through her nose and closes them.
>When she reopens her eyes, she's her usual composed self, slowly putting down her tools and hopping off the workbench and moving around the table.
>"You look uncomfortable. Let's go upstairs."

>Lounging on the couch, you have to admit that it is much more comfortable than a stool clearly meant for a pony.
>Rose hoofs you a mug of coffee and hops onto the opposite corner of the couch.
>"I don't know what I'm going to do with you sometimes, Anon."
>You take a sip...still too hot
>"I don't care that you got into a fight -I should, but I don't- because I know that you wouldn't do that if you didn't have to."
>So far so good...
>"I don't know how to feel about Flitter. She's an adorable mare, a smart and hardworking pony who I think would do very well in our Herd-"
>Here it comes.
>"-But she brings so much drama with her in the form of her sister that it hardly seems worth the effort."
"That's why-"
>"I'm not finished." she interrupts sternly "I appreciate that you trust me to make that decision, Anon, but it really isn't a decision I should make."
>...what?
>"Did you ask Lyra? or Aloe or Lotus?" she continues, stepping across the cushions until she's nose to nose with you. "Or is this just a question for the mare you won't officially call your alpha mare?"
>RED ALERT
>Taking evasive maneuvers!
>You quickly close the gap between yourself and Roseluck, planting a long, tender kiss on her lips.
>>
>>34896775

>Taking hold of her withers, you pull her in as the kiss deepens, her hooves on your shoulders as she wordlessly communicates how she feels.
>All of her pent up frustration, her oft unspoken need for attention, her raw desire for physical affection all poured into a single kiss.
>When she finally releases you, she drops her hooves off your shoulders and collapses against your chest.
>Cradling her gently, you feel her breathing heavily as your heart pounds in your chest.
>You can hear the rain and an occasional rumble of thunder outside, and the subtle scent of roses lingers in your nose, be it from the shop downstairs or the mare in your arms you're not sure.
>After a few quiet moments pass, you feel her take a deep breath.
>"That little trick might distract the other girls, but I haven't forgotten what we were talking about, you know."
>Rats.
>"I'm going to start acting like your alpha if you keep treating me like one."
"Oh?"
>"Mhmm."
"That sounds like a threat."
>"It's for your own good."
"Do tell."
>"Hmmmm...no, I don't think I will." she says, nuzzling your cheek. "You're just going to have to wait and see."
"I get it. I'm making you wait and now I'm going to pay for it, huh?"
>"Well, at least if you add Flitter, you'll be a mare closer to filling the Herd."
"Hey now-"
>"You know that it's killing me not to know, right Anon?"
"Well, let's get this Herd filled then."
>She snorts, then laughs.
>"Didn't you tell me that Princess Twilight and her friends were supposed to do that for you?"
"Meh, they're taking too long." you dismiss "And it's driving one of my mares nuts."
>"What did you just call me!?"
"I, uh, I didn't-"
>"I'm just teasing." she says, tapping your chest and looking up at you. "But I might just set you up on a date or two myself if they don't hurry up."
"I know, I know, I should spend more time with you and the girls..."
>"That too, but I meant that I can think of a mare or two you might like."
>>
>>34896780

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you having close allies in the Herd."
>"Worried you'll be outnumbered?"
"I'm worried I'll be outmaneuvered. I'm already outnumbered."
>"Maybe we wouldn't have to maneuver so much if you listened to us in the first place."
"Us?"
>"Your mares."
"I sometimes get conflicting information from them."
>"All the more reason to choose an alpha mare."
>Running your hand through her mane, she hums happily.
"Hopefully soon."
>"Hopefully." she mutters "And hopefully next time he won't take so long to talk to his mares..."
"In my defense, I was in Canterlot."
>"Dodging a Sparkle Lecture?"
"Exact-"
>"Or dodging your Herd?"
>Oof.
"You wound me, Princess."
>"Am I wrong?"
"I...needed time to collect my thoughts."
>"Were you really that afraid of what we would say?"
"Not all of you..."
>"Just me, then." she states dejectedly, looking at the floor.
"You and Lyra, actually." you admit.
>"Why?" she asks, with those big, sad eyes that just tear you apart.
"I knew Lotus would support me, what with her history with Cloudy. And if Lotus did, Aloe probably would too."
>"And Lyra?"
"She's so innocent, I was worried that she would think less of me."
>"And you thought I would scold you? That I'm a nag, trying be your alpha and take charge of the Herd? That you would get a lecture to make Twilight Sparkle seem a foalish apprentice again?"
"No! No. Rose, please, I didn't think that at all!"
>"Then why avoid us!? Why avoid me?"
"Because I thought you would be disappointed in me. The way you talked about me around your parents, your sisters, your friends...I felt like you believed in me."
>She stares at you, patiently listening.
"And hopefully you still do believe in me, in the me that everyone talks about. But that Anon doesn't get into fights. I didn't know what you'd say, but I wasn't ready for you to be disappointed in me."
>You exhale slowly.
>>
>>34896785

"It's hard, sometimes, trying to be the guy you all deserve. I knew I didn't meet that standard, that I messed up pretty badly, and I wasn't able to deal with it. So I ran off to Canterlot, with a convenient excuse in hand, to hide until I figured out what I was supposed to do."
>There's a pause, as Roseluck dried her face on your shirt, before she gets onto her hooves.
>Placing a kiss on your cheek, she follows up with a trademark stiff tap on your chest.
>"You are the dumbest genius I know sometimes." she says, still sniffling a little. "We know you aren't perfect, Anon. Nopony is. But you're supposed to run /to/ us when life gets hard, not /from/ us."
"Sorry. I just- I haven't done...this-" you gesture broadly at her and everywhere "in years. Since before I came to Equestria. I'm used to working to impress, and being on my own. I'm probably not a very good coltfriend."
>"I think you're doing an alright job." Roseluck counters slyly. "Maybe we can still save you."
"Oh /thank you/, Princess." you quip back, happy to be back in familiar territory.
>"Just know, Anon, that I'm going to talk to the girls about what you said." she warns as you get up to leave.
>Turning to look at her, she continues.
>"You are going to get used to this-" she says, mimicking your earlier gesture "-whether you like it or not."
"I'm looking forward to it."


>You are forced to use your umbrella outside, as the rain alternates between a steady drum and full downpour.
>The rain seems to be ramping up into a full storm.
>It is a blessed relief when you make it to the spa, able to shake off your umbrella and hang up your coat.
>No one is at the counter.
>Glancing at the schedule, it seems that Aloe finished her shift about...ten minutes ago.
>At the same time, Lotus started her next appointment.
>One at a time, then.
>You check in back first, and find Aloe hunched over a desk in the office.
>No rest for a weary businesspony.
>>
>>34896788

"And here I thought the schedule said your shift was over."
>"Oh, Anon! I didn't hear you come in." she says with a start, before taking her glasses off with a sigh. "I was just balancing today's ledger."
"Sounds important. I can wait."
>"Like you've kept us waiting, and worrying?"
"Err, about that-"
>"No. You're right. I need to finish this right now, but it won't take much longer. The rain kept most ponies home today."
>With that she dons her glasses once more and returns her focus to the papers on the desk.
>Taking a seat in Lotus' chair, you wait in silence.
>When the weather picks up, you can hear the rain lashing the roof and every couple of minutes there is the pleasant sound of a quill scratching on paper as Aloe adds a thrice-checked total to her books.
>But mostly... silence.
>"Okay, done." she announces, letting out a yawn. "All Lotus has to do is add in her final two appointments, and I'll total it out tomorrow."
"Sounds good?"
>"It is." she says, hopping out of her chair and moving to the door. "Let's go home."

>After trudging through the rain in silence -this time understandable, given how the wind has picked up- you make it to the townhouse.
>"Sit. I am going to make some tea."
>You do as you're told, after taking off your soaking wet coat and shoes of course.
>From the couch, you watch Aloe set a kettle on the stove, decide on some tea, and even wander back into the living room to light the fireplace.
>Eventually, she hops up next to you and leans in before recoiling.
>"Anon! Your clothes are all damp and cold, you're going to get sick like that!"
"Well, you're not wrong, but-"
>"Off with them. At least the top layer." she commands. "I'll throw them in the dryer."
"It's really-"
>"Now, Anon."
"Jeeze, okay."

>Ten minutes later, you are sitting barefoot in your boxers and undershirt, sipping tea by the fire with Aloe as your clothes go for a tumble in the dryer.
>"Anon, I'm very upset with you."
"I, uh, gathered that."
>>
>>34896791

>"I don't care that you got into a fight. I was disappointed at first, but I saw Flitter the next day and she explained everything. You were very noble sticking your neck out for her."
>She talked to Flitter?
>"And I am glad that you are wearing your sling. It is about time you took that seriously."
>Ugh.
>"But Anon, what I don't understand is why, instead of coming and hiding here with me and Lotus, you decided to run away to Canterlot."
"Well, I was ordered-"
>"To give an apology? And did you manage to escape talking to Princess Twilight by giving that apology to Princess Celestia instead?"
"No."
>"Of course not." she says, rolling her eyes "Nopony can evade those lectures Anon. Not even the fastest pegasus in Equestria."
>Heh.
>Ain't that the truth.
>"So the only thing I can think of that explains why you went to Canterlot instead of staying here and holing up with the mares that love you is that you were either ashamed of your actions or scared of how we would react."
"That is-"
>"Which one?" she says, voice quivering "Which one was it?"
"Both?"
>"Both? Both! Both." she says, trying to find the answer she needs.
>You can see tears forming and wrap an arm around her.
>"Why, Anon? I know I'm not- I'm not as fun as Lotus, or as strong as Roseluck...but I try to be there for you. And f-for them."
>She sniffles into your shirt before inhaling deeply.
>"You've already talked to Rose...I can smell the flowers. I knew you wouldn't come to me first, b-but please Anon, I want to be there for you. I am always here for you! I j-just want you to remember that."
"Hey now, this is my fault, not yours." you reassure her. "I was so focused on trying to impress you girls that, well, I didn't know what to do when I screwed up."
>>
>>34896797

>"But you didn't! You didn't screw up, you were the strong, noble knight defending a helpless mare..."
"That's what I thought at the time, but sitting at the Constable's office and then going before the judge... they didn't seem to agree. So I thought I'd made a fool of myself, and Twilight isn't so impressed either."
>"You went to see her already?"
"I was actually hoping to avoid her." you admit "But she ambushed me as soon as I got back from Canterlot."
>"I see. A lot of ponies think she's going to become part of the Herd. Lotus thinks that's why you won't choose an alpha mare."
"Ha, we're just friends." you say. "But I have said that I won't choose an alpha until I know who all is going to join us, just in case."
>"I could smell the books, behind the roses."
"Oh? A very acute nose you must have." you quip, lifting your bad arm to boop her snoot.
>"H-hey!" she hiccups "I was just trying to figure out how...how many ponies you talked to before you got to me..."
"Aloe, do you think that matters?"
>She just looks away.
>So yes, probably.
"C'mere you silly filly." you say, pulling her up into your lap and planting a kiss on her forehead. "Why would that matter?"
>"It...it just does."
"Aloe..."
>"I just...everypony always looks to Lotus first. I-I-I bet you would have gone to Lotus first if she wasn't working!" she accuses, struggling to escape your grip.
>Locking her down in a strong bear hug, you nuzzle her cheek, which she tries to avoid to no avail.
"That's not true. Lotus was always going to be last, but I hear you Aloe. I want you to know that I don't see you as some kind of package deal with your sister. If Lotus and I broke up, I wouldn't immediately stop seeing you, and I hope you wouldn't immediately break it off either."
>Quietly petting your quiet little mare, you continue.
"I want to be honest with you. Twilight cornered me, and then I went to Lyra and then to Roseluck."
>>
>>34896808

>She looks down, but you pull her chin back up so you can plant a kiss on her nose.
"Hey now, it's not my fault you live on the opposite side of town."
>She huffs as you release her and land another kiss right behind her ear.
"And I wanted to get the worst over first."
>"The...the worst?"
"Yeah."
>"But Roseluck..."
"Was most likely to give me a Sparkle lecture."
>"Okay, you're right." she sniffs, offering a tiny, momentary smile. "But why Lyra?"
"Sometimes I think Lyra thinks I'm perfect." you sigh "But you know better."
>"I do." she hums, "But next time, promise me that you won't run away from me?"
"I've learned my lesson."
>"I don't know about that, but I hope so."
"I guess I'll just have to get into another fight so we can find out."
>Aloe whips around, wriggling in your grasp to push you back against the couch, standing on your thighs and looking down at you, nose to nose.
>"Do not even think about it, Anonymous."
>Whoa.
>Staring up into those crystal blue eyes, you can't help but appreciate how much this mare cares for you.
>It's also kind of hot.
>Reaching up with your free hand, you tuck a few errant strands of her mane back behind her ear.
"Okay, no more fights."
>"Good." she says, dropping her rump on your lap. "You don't have to fight anypony to impress us, Anon."
"I mean, I didn't exactly choose-"
>"I know. But still."
"Okay. Yes, dear."
>With that, she curls up on your lap, leaning her head against your chest.
>You can hear the faint ding of a bell in the laundry room.
"Shouldn't we go get my pants?"
>"They can wait."

>"Aloe? I'm home, can I help you with anything?" Lotus calls from near the door.
>"Dinner is in the oven, it should be done in ten minutes." Aloe calls, curled up against you.
>"Okay! I'm going upstairs to get dried off and then I'll be down."
>Aloe simply hums contentedly, and you give her a light squeeze.
>>
>>34896814

>A squeeze that prompts her to crawl entirely into your lap, allowing you to kick your feet up onto the couch and recline at the far end.
>Which allows Aloe to rest her head on your chest, after some careful maneuvering.
>And this is how Lotus discovers you, almost asleep, watching the fire as Aloe does the same on top of you.
>Seeing no place for her on the couch, she instead takes a seat on the loveseat.
>"I see you and Aloe have made up."
"Yes." you nod, stifling a yawn. "And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
>"Shshshshsh!" Lotus interrupts "You don't have to apologize to me. I think it was gallant the way you stood up for Flitter. And I told Aloe that you would come and talk to us when you were ready."
>"You...shush. I don't want you... making excuses f'r him." Aloe protests drowsily. "Go get the...the lasagna out."
>Lotus gives her sister a look, but relents and goes to get dinner on the table.
>Aloe paws at your chin, beckoning you to lean in.
>As you lower your head, she puts her muzzle to your ear and plants a tiny kiss beside it.
>"Anon, can you do one more thing for me?"
"Of course."
>"Remind Lotus not to forget the garlic bread."
.
.
.
And that wraps up Chapter 17! Hope this was an interesting update for the three of you actually following this.

Binned here: https://pastebin.com/k5vzMvYL

My bin: https://pastebin.com/u/Hawkeye88

Consolidated Story: https://pastebin.com/ZiQnVzzB
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>>34896823
As one of the three followers, I am pleased. Nerd herd! Nerd herd! Nerd herd!
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>>34896823
Hey, there's at least four of us.
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>>34896837
Nerfherder!
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>>34896823
comfy as fuck, worth the wait. glad to see a new chapter hawkeye
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>>34896823
I think Twilight's chances are dwindling after that conversation. Hopefully not and Anon's response was just the alcohol talking. Twi's right though. He does drink too much. Rose's comments gives me hope that Flitter is still a possibility and that Redheart is one of the mares Rose might set Anon up with. The conversations with the rest of his mares went about as expected. Hopefully Anon takes the lessen learned to heart. Herd members love, care for and support each other through whatever trials set before them. Great character developing update. A hefty helping of comfy. Thanks and I look forward to reading the next one.
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>>34896823
Consider me to be a fourth reader. this intrigued me enough that I'll have to just tackle the whole bin over the next little while.
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>>34896823
Noice
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>>34897520
>that pic
Lel
>>
I wrote something using Dungeon AI for some parts. It makes the formatting weird to post here, but gonna try anyway. Sorry if it's super funky, I'll post a Fimfic link at the end. Otherwise, enjoy.
~*~

>It's a lovely morning to stay in bed.

>Well, at least it would be, if Twilight wasn't physically dragging you out of your bed and down the stairs of the castle with her magic. It's all so abrupt that you can't even make out what she's saying beyond the sudden rhythmic "BUMP. BUMP. BUMP" of your head hitting each individual step. At last you wake up enough to raise yourself a little within the purple glow to get a handle on what the fuck is happening.

"Wait, wait, HOLD THE FUCK UP!" you cry, and Twilight stops. "What's this about a... a game?"

>Twilight lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls her eyes.

"Yes, that's what I was saying. I made a compute game, and I want you to try it out!"

>Never mind that you've only seen Twilight use her computer for science experiments before, the idea of her making a game is... a little terrifying. You imagine some Jumanji shit... then get the idea that she's done something like that before. It's as if it happened in another life or something.

>Anyway, you resist against her pulling and scowl at the pony now waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hold on," you growl, "who said I would test it? Bet it sucks ass anyway."

>Another exasperated sigh.

"Anon," she says curtly, "it's either you play my game or I find something else to do with my time. Do you really want me to find something else to do with my time?"

>It doesn't take more than a moment for you to shake your head 'No' to that.

"That's what I though," she continues. "So, just come sit down, give it a play, and let me know what you think!"

>Before you can say another word, she drags you the rest of the way down the stairs with many a bump and bruise, until you reach the living room.

(cont)
>>
>>34899036

>She's set up a very very old looking computer there, and you eye it warily, like it might leap out and bite you at any moment. For all you know, and based on past experiences, it actually might.

"Tah-dah!" she announces proudly, "My first game! I call it Pony Dungeon Generator!"

>You immediately recoil from the computer, and she gives you a withering look.

"Not that kind of dungeon, dumbass. It's a text based game, like Ogres and Oubliettes, but it's all generated as you respond!"

"...no set commands?"

"Nope! It uses my intelligence and the emotions of whoever is playing it to generate the next line of the adventure. With magic!"

"So, basically you don't have to explain how it works because Magic, ain't gotta explain shit?"

"Precisely," she says proudly. "And, given you're an emotional wreck most of the time, I figured you'd be the perfect playtester."

>She pulls out the chair for you and pats it invitingly, like a executioner might do to a chopping block. You don't like the look in her eyes, or that quip about how you're an emotional wreck, but you suppose this is better than having insects injected under your skin. Again. So you sigh and sit down.

"So, how do I..." you start to say, but she quickly cuts you off and leaps in beside you with a barrage of instructions streaming from her mouth.

"Okay, usually you'd choose from a scenario prompt, but I made a custom one just for you. You just type in the commands, like orders. It's all in second person, so if you don't like second person get the fuck out I don't care and your complaints are just those of someone who doesn't understand second person grow the fuck up you pleb I'll write in whatever form I want and if you don't like it don't play. So just, type away, and let the adventure begin! It'll literally do anything. ANYTHING."

(cont)
>>
>>34899039

>She aggressively emphasizes the last word, and you try your best to keep your fingers from shaking as you hold them up over the keyboard. You press enter, and the initial prompt writes itself out across your screen.

You are Anon, a human transported to Equestria, land of ponies, by some unknown means. You have been living with Princess Twilight Sparkle and her moronic assistant, Spike the Dragon for some time now in their castle. You don’t help with the chores, and Twilight is a great roommate to you, despite all her experiments and unwanted sexual advances. Spike, as usual, is useless. You are a lazy human, the only one in Equestria, and stay inside too much, and are only mildly attractive. Still, your life goes on in this manner. At least until today. Today, something has changed. Something big. The world is changing...

>You glare at Twilight and she smiles at you broadly, obviously proud of this prompt. Besides the insults, it's pretty bland and generic. But hey, maybe it'll go somewhere.

>You're tempted to type in that you go back to sleep, but honestly you're a little curious and you did say you'd play along. Or maybe you just weren't given a chance to object. Pretty much the same thing around here. You think for a moment, glance at your pony roommate, then begin typing.

-Go downstairs to find Twilight
You walk down the stairs and see Twilight sitting at the table, reading a book. She looks up when she sees you come in, but doesn't say anything.
"What do you want?" she asks. "I told you to leave."

>You try to hide a scoff, and mostly fail. Usually it's you wishing she would leave. Now you know this game is a work of fantasy. You continue typing.

(cont)
>>
>>34899044

-Ask why she wants you to leave
"Why did you want me to leave?"
"Because I wanted you out of here! It's not safe anymore!"
"It isn't? What about the rest of us?
-Ask Twilight why it's not safe anymore
Twilight sighs.
"There's always danger around here."
"But that was different! We were safe!
-Tell Twilight that you don't want to leave the castle
"No, I'm sorry. I just..."
"I know. But we can't be safe anywhere. We need to get out of here."
-Ask Twilight where we should go
"Where should we go?"
"Well, there's a forest nearby. There's also a town called Manehattan. That way would probably be safer."
-Ask if we should take Spike with us
"Spike? No, he's useless. He'll get killed or eaten."

>Now you laugh in earnest. Well, at least the game has gotten this much right. You glance down at Twilight by your side, who is watching the screen with a gaze of intent childlike wonder.

"Well, the game really nailed Spike, huh?" you say with a grin.

"Shut up and play," she hisses, "I wanna know what happens once we leave!"

>You roll your eyes and dismiss the fact that she ignored your compliment before diving right back in. At least the game seems to be functioning pretty okay, even if the dialogue is thin at best.

-Agree, then go upstairs to get packed for the journey
You pack yourself and prepare to leave. As you're packing, Twilight suddenly speaks again.
"Are you going to go with me?"
-"Yes, I'm going with you to Manehattan. I don't think the woods are safe."
"Oh, I understand. Then let's go together."
-Set out in the night for Manehattan
The two of you walk through the darkness. Soon, you reach a small town named Manehattan. The streets are empty and deserted. You wonder what might have happened there...
-Search the town with Twilight
As you walk down the street, Twilight is walking ahead of you. Suddenly, she stops and turns around. She looks at you and says:
"This isn't right."

(cont)
>>
>>34899052

-Nod and ask what she thinks happened
"I think we got lost."
-"No, this is Manehattan alright. It's just completely empty. Where is everypony?"
Twilight nods and continues to walk.
-Search the Manehattan street for clues as to why everypony is missing
You continue searching the streets for any sign of the others. Eventually, you find an alleyway leading into a building. You enter it cautiously and peek your head outside.
-What do I see
You look up and see a large group of ponies sitting on the ground. They're all wearing strange clothing, some even have odd hats or caps on their heads. There are also several of them standing nearby, but they seem to be watching something else entirely.

"Oooooh," Twilight says beside you, her whole body wiggling in delight, "Now it's getting interesting!"

"So, should I approach them then or..."

"Attack them!" she declares loudly. "They're obviously imposters, we should kill them on sight."

>You blink at her, then shake your head disapprovingly.

"Twilight, I'm not going to just go around killing ponies for no reason," you say.

>She frowns at you, obviously disappointed. Then she slumps a little, her wings sagging, and sighs.

"Fine, approach them then, I guess," she grumbles.

-Approach the large group of ponies with Twilight
You approach the group of ponies and try to get closer to them. A few of them begin talking amongst themselves, but you can't make out much due to the noise made by the crowd. Finally, one of them speaks up.
-What does the pony say
"We were attacked by..."
-Listen closely
The pony begins to speak in a low voice.
-What were they attacked by
"It was a bunch of... things! We were attacked by these creatures!"
-Ask the group of ponies what sort of creatures attacked them
"A bunch of... things! And they had big teeth, claws and wings like bats or birds! They were ugly too!"
-What were the creatures called
"They were called... The Flotsam."

(cont)
>>
>>34899056

-Ask Twilight what she knows about the Flotsam
"I don't know anything about them, but I do know that they're not from Equestria. There's no such place as 'Flotsam' in any language."

"It's true," Twilight ays with a somber nod, "There are no such creatures as Flotsam. Sound like something from your world."

>You shrug.

"We don't have any animals known as Flotsam from my world either," you say, "so it's probably just made up for the game or something."

"Either way," Twilight says, "We should probably go find them. They messed up Manehattan, so we should mess them up too."

"Twilight..."

"Just go try to find them!"

-Ask where to find the Flotsam
"There are many islands off the coast of Fluttershy Island, but none of them have ever been found to be inhabited by anything other than sea gulls and seagulls. But there is one island which has never been explored; it's name is Flotsam Isle."
-Journey with Twilight Sparkle across the land to Flotsam Isle
You and Twilight travel across the land to Flotsam Isle. It seems that the island is filled with strange creatures. Some look human, some look animalistic, some even looked alien looking. All of them seem to want to kill you for your curiosity about their existence.
-Ask Twilight what you should do
"I'm sorry, but I can't help you. These creatures aren't native to this island, so they wouldn't attack you if you didn't trespass on their territory."

>As you rub your chin, thinking about how to best handle this situation, Twilight practically leaps into your lap, her hooves digging into your leg with excitement. You look down at her with a short yelp of surprise and mild pain, to find her eyes wild and large.

"It's time!" she squeals. "Fight them! Kill them all! Become the warrior you could never be in real life because you're too much of a pussy!"

>You groan and shove her away from you.

(cont)
>>
>>34899060

"First of all, ow, trim your fucking hooves sometime. Second, we're not going to kill these creatures! We're not even sure what they are, or why they attacked Manehattan in the first place! There's definitely a nonviolent solution."

"But that's no fun!"

"This is my playthrough,a nd I'm playing it my way," you snap. "You made the game, you can play it once I'm done, okay?"

>She doesn't look satisfied with this answer, and instead just continues to grumble and look away from you. You wait to see if she'll say anything more, but when she doesn't you go back to typing. You even go as far as to include her in your next command, just to piss her off.

-Use Twilight's magic to subdue the creatures without violence
You use Twilight's magic to subdue the creatures without violence. After a few minutes of fighting, you manage to defeat all of them.
-Ask the Flotsam if they can speak
"Yes, we can talk to you through the trees."
-Ask the Flotsam where they came from
"We're from an island called Flotsam, which lies far out at sea. We've lived here since we were young, but our home was destroyed when the storm hit us. Our only way back to land is through a small boat made of driftwood."
-Ask why they are attacking ponies
"The ponies attacked us because they thought we were pirates! They said we stole their treasure!"
-Tell them that this was all a misunderstanding and now the Flotsam and ponies can live in peace
"That's wonderful!"
-Tell the Flotsam that you're friends now
"It's good to be friends with you too."

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Twilight shouts from beside you, rising to her hooves and glaring at the computer.

"What? I thought you were the princess of friendship," you say, half joking, half a little frightened.

>You've seen that wild look in Twilight's eyes before. It's rarely if ever a good sign.

(cont)
>>
>>34899064

>You raise your hands instinctually in a defensive gesture, just in time to feel a strong shove from her hooves. You topple to the ground, chair and all, and look up to find Twilight typing feverishly away.

"This has gone on long enough," she growls, "This is an adventure game. Action. Excitement. Not whatever pansy ass shit this is! We're doing it my way now..."

>You look up at the screen in horror, as her words quickly flood across the input bar. You reach for her to stop her, but it's too late. The deed is done.

-Stab, shoot, and kill the Flotsam
You fire several bullets into the creature's body as it falls backwards onto its face. It begins to struggle, but you stop it by shooting another bullet into its head.
-Twilight tramples and kills the Flotsam
You quickly finish off the Flotsam and leave them to die. You don't know what happened to the rest of the tribe, but you assume they died too.
-Twilight murders the Flotsam
You walk down the path towards the Flotsam village, which is still burning. There are many dead bodies lying on the ground around it. Some have been burned beyond recognition while others look like they just got caught in a blast of flames.
-Have sex with the corpses
You kiss the corpse of one of the Flotsam women and begin having sexual relations with her. She doesn't resist or even complain about your actions, she seems happy for once.
-Thrust into the dead Flotsam woman
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpse until you ejaculate inside her. You feel nothing except happiness at having satisfied yourself. As you pull out, she looks at you with tears streaming down her eyes.
-Violate more corpses
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.

(cont)
>>
>>34899069

-Commit necrophilia
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.
-Commit war crimes
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.
-Burn down everything
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.

"Twilight, stop!" you cry, trying to grab the keyboard from her to no avail, "You've gotten it into a loop! It's just going to keep saying that forever unless you do something else!"

"Then you'll rape corpses forever," she snaps, and begins typing in a new command, something about fingering cloacas.

>You kneel beside her, pleading. For some reason, you feel for the plight of these poor Flotsam. Perhaps it's because you know what it's like to be on the other side of Twilight's wrath. Perhaps because you like being kind to NPCs in video games, like a little bitch. Maybe it's just because you've actually become invested in this weird storyline and you'd love some real, actual friends, even if you're computer generated. Whatever the reason, you're desperate to stop her.

"Please," you say, "Please Twilight. Change up what you're doing. Ask the game to do anything but that. Anything but sex with corpses, please!"

>Twilight looks like she's going to ignore you completely, but then she stops. She thinks hard for a moment or two, and you feel a sudden surge of relief that perhaps, maybe, this time, she's going to listen to you. Then, with a solemn nod, she reches back down tot he keyboard and begins typing.

-Have sexual relations with Twilight Sparkle
You grab Twilight by the ponytail and kiss her passionately as she walks behind you.

(cont)
>>
>>34899074

-Thrust into Twilight's pussy from behind to surprise her
You quickly move behind Twilight and thrust into her from behind. This causes Twilight to jump a bit, but she soon recovers and...

>You stand up from the floor, lower your head, and hold your hands up in surrender.

"Nope," you say flatly, "I'm out."

"But-" Twilight starts to say, but you're already trudging towards the stairs.

"Nope," you say to yourself quietly, "not today, Twilight. Just. Not today."

"But you're missing the best part! I'm making you fistfuck my ass!" she calls after you as you climb back up towards your bedroom. "I haven't even shoved anything in your ass yet!"

>You shut the door to your bedroom behind you, and say a secret, somber prayer for all the poor Flotsam on a digital island somewhere, filled with your cum. You can't help but feel that they were the ones that actually came to a bad end.

-END-


Fic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/302326/living-with-twilight-sparkle-is-weird
Bin: https://pastebin.com/eHUmf8yW

Now, it's 1PM so it's time for wine. Take care and shit. Hope your week isn't full of people who deserve a swift and painful death at your hands. Cheers.
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>>34899079
>This has been another "What did I just read?" production from anonpencil for all you sanity bending needs.

Thanks Anonpencil.
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>>34899079
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>>34899079
I'm almost certain she was trying to have him do something with her. I wonder what that may be...
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Welp, it's that time again folks. Gonna start getting things ready for another chapter update.
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>Laying in his bed, Anon tried his best to relax both his body and mind. He didn’t want to get up, knowing that to do so would mean starting the day.
>That would mean he had to interact with the ponies, which would also mean he would have to leave the house for the next pony he’d be with for a week.
>This was not something he was particularly looking forward to.
>Going two straight weeks of hard farm labor was exhausting, and having to quickly come to grips that everything around him was real and he was not kidnapped did not come easy.
>He did prefer it when he thought Gleekman or some other influential person was simply messing with him.
>At least it made more sense than having magical horses trying to integrate him into their world or be banished to the moon if they failed.
>Prying an eye open, he saw the light from the window softly spreading through the room, indicating an early morning.
>He closed his eyes once more, wanting to have as much ‘me’ time as he could.

‘How did I even get here? The missile surely couldn’t have done it, right?’
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>>34899545
>He thought he remembered Gleekman mentioning something about a foreign source giving him the missile, or components to make it; he couldn’t remember, the details foggy.
>Did they somehow get a hold of a compound that rifted a portal to where he wound up, in that forest?
>Or was everything some form of reincarnation, an allowance of a second chance.

‘But… why horses? Why are they acting so odd? And they want to teach an alien to live with them? How bizarre.’

>Anon turned in the bed, pushing his head into the warm, soft pillow. Wearing the custom pajamas that Rarity made for him, something he hadn’t had a chance to wear before, he could feel himself loosening up. He had to thank that one when he could properly speak.
>As much as he didn’t want to, his thoughts continued to drift back to his new life. An odd, hollow feeling he had difficulty describing crept up, knowing that everything he knew was gone.
>He was the sole human on the planet that didn’t truly care about such things. Only his status as an ‘alien’ seemed to matter.
>Turning on his back, he let out a grunt, frustrated. He was not getting any more rest, his mind too preoccupied with nonsense.
>Pulling the covers away he sat up, stretching out. He had another pony to meet for the week, and from what Lyra had mentioned, this one could be potentially dangerous.
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>>34899547
“If she finds this pony dangerous, then that’s something I should worry about, considering what she finds safe.”

>After a quick shower, he made sure to pack all the necessities in his rucksack. He made his way downstairs, Lyra already placing plates down for food.
>She gave him a hearty wave, motioning him to sit. It was eggs, and this time he was more than happy to eat after all the apples he was forced.
>More things on his mind appeared. Anon wondered just why he was able to consume their foods.
>How could his diet be sustained off the nutrients of alien matter? That shouldn’t be possible.
>The unicorn reasoned that their world’s magic was adapting him to their world, but he had difficulty believing that.
>Taking a bite of his toast, he watched as the other two sat down for their meals, Lyra scribbling a note to him.

>**We will be leaving after we eat. Do not freak out with Twilight as she may overstep her boundaries with you. Her impressions of you are of great importance so try to make a good one during your time there.**

>So the pony’s name was Twilight.

**Why should I be so careful with her?**

>Lyra finished an orange slice before turning to the chalkboard. She twittered, tapping her chin before writing a reply.

>**She’s not normally bad but has a habit of getting overexcited concerning magic or studies to it. To make things worse, she’s also a direct student to Princess Celestia, though I’ve always seen it more as an understudy relationship.**
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>>34899550
>He felt shocked, not expecting to confront such high authority, especially one so close to the ruler. His anxiety grew, knowing he’d be with her for a full week.

**Is there anything I should know of her?**

>**Not much other than what I mentioned. She’s a magical prodigy, has a baby dragon for a helper, and enjoys reading books. Twilight also lives at the library in town, the big tree you asked about before.**

>None of the information helped ease him, only exacerbate it. She liked books though. He could work with that.
>His studies in college had him writing poetry and reading things like Sherlock Holmes. Perhaps he could move some of their conversations to literary works?
>Finishing their meals Lyra had him wearing his cloak and out the door, the sun and the moon slowly starting to make their rotations.
>The two hurried through the town, making sure to stay out of sight of early risers.
>Standing in front of a large tree, Anon couldn’t help but be awed at the sight, knowing it was a fully functioning abode with its library.
>About to knock, Lyra paused, motioning for him to do so. He gave it a hard knock, Lyra positioning him off to the side.
>A few seconds passed before he could hear a pattering of clicks behind the door. It opened, showing a small lizard-like creature just at the opening.

‘Is that the baby dragon Lyra mentioned?’

>It let out a yawn, rubbing an eye. “~+Lyra? Why are you wearing a cloak? It’s kind of early to be up, don’t you think?+~” The dragon sounded like everyone else, having a tune-like quality, but it came out with a barely noticeable hiss. “~+Did the flame from your lantern go out?+~”
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>>34899555
>“~+Nah, that’s fine. I’m here for Twilight. She should be expecting us.+~”

>“~+I was wondering why she was up so soon.+~” He took a moment on her words. “~+Wait, us? Sorry about that, let me…+~”

>Widening the door, he could see the tall, cloaked form of Anon. He merely blinked before slowly closing the door once more. Lyra rolled her eyes, sticking a hoof in.

>“~+He’s fine, and also the reason we’re here. Could you tell her we’re here?+~”

>“~+Uh… Yeah, sure. Take a seat and I’ll, uh, go tell her.+~”

>Walking in, he found an odd fusion of housing and library. The walls all seemed to be in one piece, nothing cut or made by hand.
>It was as if every piece of the place was molded into place using the tree itself.
>Sitting down on a small couch beside Lyra, the dragon came back down, taking a chair to sit in front of the two.
>Anon continued to look around the place, fascinated by the idea that he was inside a tree.

>“~+What brings you two here anyway? Twilight keeps fretting about something and seems too preoccupied to talk to me.+~”

>“~+Anon, that’s his name, is supposed to spend some time with Twilight and… get to know her, if you will. Official princess business and whatnot.+~”

>“~+Ooh, friendship lessons.+~”

>“~+Pardon?+~”

“~+Princess Celestia has Twilight and all her friends doing friendship lessons that they send to her.+~”
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>>34899561
>“~+I was not aware they were doing that, which is odd. I know enough about the history of the Elements by now. Is this a role they have to do?+~”

>“~+Actually, that’s because of Twilight and her friendship lessons that originated in Canterlot, coming from the princess. They’ve just moved her to Ponyville to perform her lessons better.+~”

>Anon was barely able to decipher what was said, feeling frustrated being out of the loop. So, he took out his chalkboard and wrote a message.

**Is it alright if I read some books?**

>At the very least he wanted to see what their books were like while they waited for Twilight to arrive.

>**That’s fine,** Lyra wrote back, **just don’t make a mess.**

>He quickly stood, walking over to the books to see what they held. There were quite a few to choose from.

>“~+Why is he writing on a chalkboard? Is he a mute?+~”

>“~+He can talk, just not in our language. We’re teaching him how to understand us but it’s been slow going. He can easily write our language though.+~”

>“~+I see.+~ The dragon examined Anon more closely. “~+Why is he wearing a cloak? He’s not ugly or anything is he?+~”

>“~+Nothing of the sort. We can’t let anyone see him at all for the time being. Princess’s orders, after all.+~” She lit up her horn, magically tapping him in the side before holding up his board.

>**You can take off your cloak now.**
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>>34899567
>He nodded, taking it off and placing it over the arm of the couch. The dragon’s eyes widened seeing his full form.

>“~+I don’t recognize what species he is. Is he something from one of those colonies you’ve told me about in your reports?+~”

>“~+No, nothing of the sort. I know this will sound silly, but he’s an alien. He wound up here somehow and we’ve been helping him for a while.+~”

>“~+An alien.+~”

>“~+Yes.+~”

>The dragon stared at Anon, watching him peruse the books. Anon grumbled, looking at each one.

“A lot of romance, history, and adventure. Even some fantasy and mystery books. But I’m not seeing any sci-fi.” He picked up a book, turning it in his hands.

>The dragon gritted his teeth. “~+Was that him speaking? That sounds… weird.+~”

>“~+It’s hard for us to speak like him so we’ve been teaching him how to speak like us.+~”

Anon laughed. “I wonder how they’d react to some Lovecraftian works or some dystopian stories. Maybe cyberpunk could be a thing here? Oh, steampunk would be some good fun.”

>“~+I think I’ll wait upstairs until Twilight is ready,+~” Spike said before getting up, making his way up the stairs.

>Lyra rolled her eyes, watching Anon going through the books. Letting out a sigh, she glimpsed at a stack of books off to the side, seeing something familiar.
>Levitating it away from the stack, she felt gobsmacked, reading the cover of the book:The Creatures of Yesteryear.
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>>34899571
>“~+W-Why is this here? There are very few of these books available to anyone. Did the princess give this to her?+~”

>Hearing hoofsteps, she quickly levitated it back to the pile, seeing Twilight coming from the second floor with Spike following.
>She momentarily froze, seeing Anon looking through the books. Twilight slowly made her way to them, standing off to the side.

>“~+Twilight.+~”

>“~+Lyra.+~” Twilight turned to the human. “~+And you must be this Anon that I’ve heard of. I didn’t expect either of you for at least another week. Or to be so… lifelike.+~” Twilight looked confused when no reply came.

>“~+He can’t speak our language,+~” Lyra spoke. “~He’s only been here for around a month and our language barrier is quite large.+~”

>“~+No kidding,+~” Spike chuckled, earning a look from Twilight. “~+Hey I heard him speak his language just a moment ago. Wasn’t pleasant, too still and direct and… something else.+~”

>Humming, she turned to Lyra. “~+Why haven’t you performed a knowledge spell on him to remove this barrier? I know what your packet sent said but I’m not seeing a problem if he’s absorbing magic.+~”

>“~+He’s absorbing magic slowly, and it all seems to be concentrated inside his body. We might be able to learn more about the internals of his body when that all settles, but his mind is off-limits unless we want to intentionally hurt him.+~”
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>>34899576
>Twilight didn’t look convinced, staring at Anon who was staring back, now noticing the purple unicorn. “~+It certainly would have made this much simpler to do. I’ll be honest Lyra, he doesn’t look at all like what the princess described to me.+~”

>“~+What exactly did she say?+~”

>“~+Well, she spoke of something much… hairier. And less life-like, almost like a puppet.+~”

>“~+The princess hasn’t met him formally so she can only go on information she’s provided, along with past experiences.+~”

>Twilight glanced at the stack of books. “~+I assume you’re referring to the confidential book she sent me?+~”

>“~+That book was required reading for my role as a komlas so I know all about it.+~”

>Anon had already sat down, flipping through the pages of a mystery book he found interesting, ignoring the ramblings of the two.

>“~+I really shouldn’t judge on appearances, but the princess wouldn’t have sent those warnings needlessly, so you’ll have to excuse me if I want to check him thoroughly.+~”

>Lyra gave a wary look at those words.

>“~+I say that because Imayhave a caged area upstairs where he’ll be staying at, just so you’re aware.+~”

>“~+Is that necessary?+~”

>“~+Aren't you the one that had him locked inside a bedroom for a few weeks before allowing him out? A week here won’t hurt him, and he’ll be staying where I normally sleep. He’ll be well handled.+~

>“~+And as a side note, I’d also like to do most of this on my own. I mean no offense, but the princess felt something was odd concerning his stay with the others and had asked I did this without any outside influence.+~”
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>>34899581
>Listening to the two ponies chirp and squeak, Anon watched as Lyra appeared dejected. The purple unicorn looked like she was trying to reassure Lyra of something.

>The dragon simply stared at Anon, squirming in his seat, giving a half-hearted wave that he returned.

>A tug on his sleeve directed him to the chalkboard Lyra held up. **You’ll be staying here for the week with Twilight by yourself. I will try to pop in when I can.**

‘Different from how others went, but I don’t see any problem here. At least there’s something to do here, reading books and all. I just hope I can manage to keep this pony happy without Lyra.’

>Clearing his throat, he decided to give a small showing that he could somewhat understand them if only to present to the purple unicorn he was able to learn.

“~+Bye. Lyra.+~”

>It was a struggle to remember the proper enunciation of singing to get that right.
>Before he knew it, Lyra wrapped herself around him in a tight hug. With a shake of her head, Twilight performed a spell, prying her off.
>Wrapping Lyra in a purple haze, she popped out of sight, clearly being teleported by force.

‘And from what Lyra said, she knows even stronger spells that that. Great.’

>Twilight and Anon stared at one another. “~+Alright then. So, I now have an alien in my home for a week.+~” She let out a groan. “~+Why did the princess decide this was a good idea?+~”

>“~+Maybe she wants you to expand your friendship lessons even further?+~”
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>>34899585
>“~+Princess Celestia gave me a large list of things I need to check off when examining him, and none of them seem to be aimed toward friendship. If it was, she’d just let me work things on my own.+~”

>Anon continued to stare at the two, uncertain on what to do. Should he continue looking at books? Try and interact? This was a subordinate to the princess herself. He couldn’t act rash about things.

>“~+I’m just not sure where to start with him. I’m supposed to dig into things Lyra hadn’t breached with him, but I don’t know how to go about it.+~”

>“~+You could always ask him about his world? I don’t see anything from Lyra’s reports that told us anything about his planet, save for a few pages.+~”

>“~+I had wondered why there wasn’t anything on his people.+~” Twilight hummed. “~+Yes, I could do that. It could help provide some topics to discuss.+~”
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>>34899588
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>Laying in his new bed, Anon tried his best to appear relaxed in both body and mind.
>He had been awake for some time now, having gone to bed after a night of odd questioning.
>Using his peripherals, not wanting to give away he had already noticed her, he saw Twilight in the corner, sitting on a chair, watching him.
>He had slept in her bed, only it was fully caged all around with magical bars of some kind to keep him in.
>It was a fascinating, yet terrifying sight watching the unicorn bend the bars to allow him in. He made sure to stay well behaved after that showing.
>As much as he enjoyed laying in bed doing nothing, he had to get up and start the day with the unicorn.
>She had explained the previous night he would be answering questions about him and his people.
>Twilight had been, for the most part, polite toward him. He did notice her irritation at how slow things were going, having a conversation between two chalkboards.
>Sitting up, he made sure to look as nonthreatening as possible, giving a slight stretch and a yawn. The unicorn squeaked out something, seeing him up.

>“~+Fantastic! I was wondering why you were staring at the ceiling for so long. Perhaps it’s a human action that Lyra hasn’t picked up yet?+~”

>“~+Or he’s not much of an early bird? It’s six o’clock Twilight, can’t we go back to bed and do this later?+~”

>“~+I need as much time as I can with him and go over the princess’s checklist. A week is simply not enough time to do much before I have to decide on if this human is a threat or not.+~”
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>>34899589
>The dragon rubbed his head. “~+I just don’t see how he can be a threat.+~”

>“~+Weren’t you scared of him the other day, barely refusing to be around unless I was there?+~”

>“~+And now that I’ve seen him from last night, I think he’s less of a threat than even Owlowiscious is.+~”

>A trill of a hoot came from the far wall, making Anon jump in fright. He instinctually kicked the covers off, flopping to the floor, before feeling embarrassed at what he could see was an owl.

>“~+Case in point.+~”

>Twilight rolled her eyes. “~+He could be putting on an act.+~”

>Anon already had his chalkboard out, a message written in greeting to the new guest. The thing merely blinked back, giving another hoot.
>He held up the chalkboard in the air, trying to pass the message back but the owl simply flew off; he looked dejected, the chalkboard lowered to the bed.

‘Another kind of intelligent animal, like on the farm? I just don’t know anymore.’

>Spike held a claw up to his mouth, holding back laughter. “~+You think that’s an act?+~”

>A groan escaped Twilight. “~+This is going to be a long week.+~”
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>>34899591
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>Dull, tedious, and boring is how he’d describe his time with Twilight. All he had him do was sit and answer questions, scarcely taking breaks when needed.
>It had been several days trying to work with the unicorn, trying his hardest to keep her pleased.
>He answered everything she asked, keeping it as clear and concise as he possibly could. With his life on the line, he wasn’t going to risk giving her a weak reply.
>And yet, she still wasn’t happy.
>Sitting at a table near his caged area, Anon stared across at the fuming unicorn. He hadn’t seen Lyra in the past few days, though that didn’t mean she hadn’t tried coming in.
>From Lyra’s attempted interventions to the slow work with conversing due to their language barrier, and he could see Twilight was nearing her limits.

>“~+Finally going to admit you’re having trouble with this?+~”

>“~+Spike…+~” She deflated, looking down at her table, covered in papers and her chalkboard. “~+I don’t know what to do. None of this makes any sense to me. Why is the princess having me do this? Why do I need to keep Lyra out of this? And why is it he’s not allowed to have magic used on him?+~”

>“~+Well, the princessherselfnever specified what could or could not be done to him, Lyra said that.+~” Spike, realizing what he said, quickly waved his arms in the air. “~+Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t listen to what Lyra said! There’s likely a reason to that.+~”
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>>34899595
>Humming, Twilight pulled out a document Anon easily recognized as Lyra’s work on him. What it said he had no clue of, the pony keeping the thing away from him.
>Flipping through the pages, Twilight read through some of the passages.

>“~+All it says is that his mind seems too delicate to touch with magic. I’m pretty sure I can get the spell to work quickly to teach him, and if anything goes wrong I can easily fix him up.+~”

>“~+You do know you’re saying that you’re fine with hurting him so long as you have an easier time talking to him.+~”

>“~+From how Lyra described it she barely even had any observations on it, only seeing his mind being irritated from the use. I doubt he’ll feel much, probably close to a small pinch.+~”

>Spike looked at Anon, frowning. “~+This doesn’t seem right. You’re supposed to be learning friendship lessons here in Ponyville, so shouldn’t you use this opportunity to learn from this? Why even risk anything involving him?+~”

>“~+If it came from anyone other than Princess Celestia, I wouldn’t even bother thinking about it. But, I have a schedule that needs to be kept on time from the princess.+~” Twilight lit up her horn, smiling at Anon. “~+A few shortcuts won’t hurt.+~”
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>>34899598
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>Sitting at her desk, Lyra leaned her head on a hoof, tapping a report that was due by the end of the week. It certainly helped keep her mind off Anon, working on such things.
>There had been a few incidents involving a group of odd fellows called the aarakocra’s that had set up a temporary base in the mountains, making the griffon's in the area nervous about the intruders.
>No one was certain where they had come from, only that they had been continuously snatching anything shiny from either side of the border, with them returning to Equestria’s side for their base of operations.
>They had claimed to be lost, not even sure how they got to where they had, and that they were stuck until they could figure out how to get home.
>Lyra imagined they likely came from one of the uncharted continents on the other side of the world. Such things happen from time to time.

‘I’m going to have to advise that they send one of our wayward adventuring groups up there to figure out just what is going on,’ Lyra thought, scribbling down on her parchment. ‘They’ll also need a griffon or two with their party from our side to help any negotiations that are made.’

>As she finished her work, her lantern let out a small ding. It belched out green flames, a crumpled piece of paper falling out.
>Confused, Lyra picked it up, smoothing the paper out to read the message.

>**Anon is in trouble. Hurry to the library. Do not tell Twilight about the message. Be quick.**
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>>34899604
>She doesn’t need to think twice about the message as she dashed out the door, straight to the town library.
>Arriving there she slammed open the front door, seeing the place was in chaos. The books were in disarray, paper and ink spread throughout the floor.
>Near the table was Twilight, reading book after book, the things hovering in the air. She looked miserable, a haunted look in her eyes which were previously crying.
>The moment she saw Lyra, Twilight dropped the books, letting out a holler.

>“Oh, thank goodness you’re here!”

>“What happened?!”

>“I messed up. I messed up big time.”

>Twilight recapped on what had happened earlier in the day.
>Frustrated by her lack of work the princess wanted her to do, she had reasoned that it would be fine to attempt a language implantation spell used in the fields for species encounters, something that Lyra was more familiar with than Twilight.
>Things went awry the moment she activated the spell. Anon acted completely different from anything she had predicted.
>Her face paled, describing how he started to act out, throwing stuff everywhere as he bled out of his nose before falling unconscious.

>“I don’t know what to do! I can’t take him out of here to a hospital, and healing spells won’t work effectively on him!” She slammed her face on the table, letting out a sob.
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>>34899607
>Dashing up the stairs, Lyra could see the chaos. The bars that surround the room had been ripped out, allowing anyone in or out.
>Spike stood in the corner with Anon, sitting on the floor, dabbing his nose with tissues.

>Upon seeing Lyra, Spike let out a sigh, wiping his forehead. “I wondered when you would come here.”

Lyra walked to Anon, looking concerned. “How is he?”

>“I’d say you should just ask him yourself.”

>“I… I fine,” Anon spoke, shocking Lyra. “Just… tired.”

“Wait. The spell worked?”

>Spike handed Anon another tissue, taking the one out of his nose that was covered in blood and replacing it.

>“Ew,” he replied, wiping a claw. “Yeah, the spell worked. He kind of threw the chair and table to the side and was screaming at first. Twilight freaked out, trying to calm him down and heal whatever injury she thinks she did. When he finally exhausted himself he curled up in a corner to rest. Twilight ran downstairs, trying to find some kind of spell or thing to work with him.

>“He’s kind of just tired at the moment. He doesn’t even recall the event. I’m helping him with his nose; this guy sure does bleed a lot.”

>With some hesitation, Lyra performed a scanning spell. Nothing seemed wrong with him, though some of his muscles appeared to be pulled.
>Carefully examining his head, she saw his mind still had some of Twilight’s magical remnants left behind, slowly finding a way out of him through his nose.
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>>34899609
“This is why I didn’t want to use magic on him,” Lyra said, dropping her spell. “His body is still adjusting, and I doubt his mind could cope with anything for a very long if at all.”

>Anon mumbled something, drifting off again before shaking his head, dabbing at his nose once more.

>“Is being tired a symptom of magic use on his head?” Spike asked.

“We’ve observed it the only time I’ve used magic near his mind.” Lyra let out a breath she was holding. “So far he doesn’t look like he’ll be in any danger from Twilight’s actions.”

>“At least he can speak our language now?” Spike nervously chuckled, seeing Lyra’s unamused look. “Just trying to see the positives here.”

>Seeing things were fine on this end, Lyra walked back downstairs. Twilight was watching her, a look of apprehension strained on her face.

>“Is he okay?”

“Yes, he is, for the most part. You could have gone up and seen if he was yourself.”

>“I… You’re right, I could have.”
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>>34899616
“You treated him like something to study and pass some kind of test. Why would you use the spell at all? Instead of focusing on things we’ve already been through, why didn’t you try and be his friend? Surely you could have found any motives through that alone.”

>Twilight looked down in shame. There was so much Lyra wanted to say to her, to just show how wrong she was. She certainly felt vindicated enough.

‘Hold up Lyra,’ her inner voice spoke. ‘This is a great opportunity for us!’

‘Yes it is, and everyone will know of what Twilight did.’

‘No you dunderhead. Twilight has to finish this week with Anon regardless of what happens. Telling everypony about her actions would only muddle the waters and allow the princess more intervention at a later date.’

‘...That’s true’

‘We can have Twilight instead write a glowing report on Anon and give him an easy week with her! We’ve practically got this assured so long as you do exactly as I say.’

Lyra walked up to Twilight, placing a hoof on the table. “Okay. This is what we’re going to do.”
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>>34899619
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>She had stayed at Twilight’s for several hours, setting up a new schedule and rules she had to abide to.
>Anon did seem alright, regardless of his nose still bleeding by the time she left.
>Spike had volunteered to keep an eye out for him for the time being, Twilight still too ashamed to try and say anything to Anon. It would take some time for the magic residue to leave him.
>It was dark by the time she came back to the house. She let out a yawn, wanting nothing more than to finish her report, find a quick bite to eat, then hit the hay.
>As frightening as it was, she felt happy with the outcome of things.
>Lyra quickly noted there was a ladder set up to the roof, something she knew she hadn’t set up before leaving.

“Why is Bon Bon up there so late?”

‘There’s a star shower scheduled tonight, Lyra. You’re supposed to watch it with her. How did you forget that?’

“Oh. Right.”

>Climbing the ladder, she saw everything was already set up.
>Bon Bon was half-asleep at the table, a small bowl of candies on it with a burnt-out candle. A bottle of cider specially saved sat in a bucket of diluted ice.

>“Hey, you made it!” Bon Bon drowsily said, wiping her eyes.
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>>34899624
“Sorry for being late, Twilight held me up.” Lyra walked over, giving her friend an extra tight hug. Letting go, she looked around before turning to Bon Bon. “Cider’s a bit much just for stargazing. What’s the occasion for?”

>“It’s kind of a special night for us.”

Lyra blinked. ‘Special night?’

‘Come on Lyra? This is like, the weird anniversary of yours. The first day you started stargazing with her, along with the first day you two became friends. The first day you two applied to college, and so on.’

She rubbed the back of her neck. “Ah yeah, I remember. The weird anniversary of ours, how things kept coinciding with this same day for us. How we first became roommates and friends and such.”

>Bon Bon chuckled, “The little voice in your head had to remind you, didn’t it?”

‘She’s on to us!’

“Uh… no?”
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>>34899607
>Her face paled, describing how he started to act out
>he started to act out
>act out
Nobody talks like this. Nobody uses that term, other than special ed teachers, and no one takes them seriously when they do.

It also leaves me wondering exactly what you're saying here. Did Anon throw a tantrum? Did he grab his head with both hands, scream, fall over flailing, bleeding from the nose and ears, and have a seizure? What happened? What did he actually do?
>>
>>34899628
>Bon Bon shook her head with some mirth, pouring the two of them drinks. “It’s fine, I know you have some difficulty remembering things. It does make it simple for us to have a single day to remember it all, maybe even future events for that matter.”

>Streaks of light started to tear across the sky, interrupting their conversation.
>The darkened sky lit up, the two watching the scene, forgetting about everything else save for what was around them, enjoying their own company.
>As the night started to end, Lyra could only praise the night princess’s work.

Lyra turned to her friend, seeing her dozing off, leaning on her shoulder. “Bonnie?”

>“Hmm…”

‘Yeah, she’s pretty much out.’

>Being as gentle as she could, Lyra levitated her friend up in the air and down the stairs.
>She made it through Bon Bon’s room, placing her on the bed. Just as Lyra tucked Bon Bon in, she wrapped her front leg around Lyra’s head, trying to snuggle with her.
>She managed to slip in one of her friend’s stuffed animals, watching her nuzzle it.

>“Hmm… Lyra…”

>Lyra chuckled hearing that. She cleaned up the mess on the roof, starting to feel tired from the day.
>Stumbling to her room, trying to find her alarm clock, she placed it by her bed before flopping on top of it, immediately falling asleep.
>>
>>34899636
Ah, thanks for pointing out such an error. Gonna try and reword it to better after I'm done posting.
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>>34899638
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>It was nearing the end of the week with Twilight. Anon was quite shocked with the huge turnabout the pony had made in regards to him.
>Where previously she was treating him like a biohazard, keeping him back with a figurative ten-foot pole, now she was treating him with a lot more respect.

‘She had to have felt bad for using the spell,’ he thought, thinking over that day.

>Arguably, he felt no different from when Lyra had used it, though his lethargic nature stayed for awhile.
>He also had a bloody nose, reasoned that the magic was flowing through it and making it irritated.
>The dragon was a pretty nice guy, after all, helping him with that whole ordeal. While he still had some hesitations with the unicorn, at least he wasn’t being treated like an animal.
>On top of everything that had happened, he could finally understand the ponies. Sort of.
>He still couldn’t speak their language properly, the mere difficulty of singing in tune hard to grasp, but the chalkboard was being used less and less with him understanding their words somewhat.
>The spell, in his opinion, was quite the godsend even if it amounted to him losing some memories of the event and a bloody nose.
>Twilight was extremely apologetic, now regarding him like fine china. It wasn’t like he remembered the incident well, but he most assuredly kept a close eye on her horn.
>The unicorn was quite astute seeing that, appearing regretful.
>>
>>34899644
>At the moment, Twilight had the two of them at a table, with her writing down things he had been telling her of his people.
>While Lyra was interested in how they worked in relationships and their bodies, along with him as a person or how humans lived their lives, Twilight had been on a nonstop barrage of questions asking about their cultures.
>She had found it fascinating to see how diverse people could be with only a single species on the planet.

>“So these Canadians have an entire market cornered simply on the sap of their trees to make maple syrups?”

**Yes, in a manner. It’s a massive part of their culture, having been taught by the natives there hundreds of years ago. Even their money is scented with it, though that’s their bigger denotations. A popular treat for people is to lay down some syrup in the snow and place a stick in it, then eat when it freezes.**

>“How riveting!”

>He still had to write everything out, but so long as she was understood, she appeared happy. Twilight also genuinely sounded interested in everything he said about his people.
>As a plus, she had never veered towards wars or anything of the sort, merely wanting to know of their people and odd little facts.
>He did supply her with some of the problems they faced globally such as stripping of lands for resources or the oil disasters they’ve been met with, but these seemed so foreign a concept for her he dropped it quite quickly.
>>
>>34899648
>Writing everything down on her parchment, Twilight groaned, finding her ink dried up. She lifted her ink bottle, looking inside.

>“Come on, there’s a little more in there.”

Anon mentally shook his head. ‘They have all this magic and can’t even figure out pens yet.’

>A sudden strike of realization came to him. He arrived in their world with only the clothing on his back and what has left in his pockets: His wallet, his old iPod, and a novelty pen.
>He had nearly forgotten the pen, having just recently been given the thing before boarding the boat with Gleekman by his friends and associates from the group.
>Opening the inside jacket pocket near his breast, he found his elegant-looking pen. He was surprised to see the pen had no problems, scribbling a piece of paper quickly.
>The thing was supposed to be designed off what astronauts used in space, with a built-in light and refillable inks, though the latter was quite a useless feature where he was.
>Tapping on the table to get her attention he passed the pen to her. She looked confused, looking at it.

**A simple tool we devised called a pen. Try it like you would a quill.**

>He motioned for her to tap the button on the bottom, the nib ejecting for use. She hummed at the thing, writing down on the paper. Her eyes widened, staring at the quill, and then the pen.
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>>34899657
>“This is remarkable! It acts like a quill and a bottle of ink combined!”

>She wrote her notes down at a remarkable pace, letting out a laugh. “Think of all the notes I can take with this! Why this changes things on a whole new level of academic work!”

>The need to show up presented itself; he motioned for her to twirl the end of the pen, making sure to show she needed to be gentle.
>The thing flashed in her eyes, a yelp escaping her. Blinking, she could now see it was producing light from the tip.

>“It produces light as well?! Whu, buh, uhh…”

“It is… easy to use… may-be you can… recreate it?”

>He would love to see more pens around the place, getting tired of using quills and ink bottles all the time.

>The unicorn stared at the pen for a while, in awe at what she was seeing. “Initially, I thought your people’s inventions as something to set aside, but I was not aware your people were so capable.” She had an odd gleam in her eyes. “We have so much to talk about.”
>>
>>34899659
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>Standing outside the doorway, Lyra gently nudged him away from the library, leaving behind Twilight who was unwilling to let him go.

>“Just give me some more time with him! Think of all the things we could do with his knowledge.”

>“He doesn’t know how to make most of those things, Twilight.”

>“But he knows rudimentary knowledge on things which we can use to create much of his people’s work! Think of what we could do if we managed to make these ‘bah-tauries’ of his. And the idea of ‘rai-diah weebuhs’ could change the entire landscape of our world! Think of how vast the changes would be if we could call anyone from anywhere in the world, without the use of magic!”

>“Yeah, well, maybe some other time. See you later Twilight!”

>Lyra ignored the screams of pleads from the unicorn, leading Anon into the dark of the night. She hummed alongside him, making their way toward their next destination.

“You… seem… ha-ppy?” Anon spoke, slowly working the words out.

>“Very much so! With Twilight cleared to go, we now have nothing to worry about. The princesses don’t have any other way to take you now.”

“Why… do they not… re-gard-less?”

>Anon never understood the whole getup with him needing to stay with others for verification.
>From everything he had heard from Lyra, it almost sounded like the princess just wanted him gone. Why not just go collect him anyways?

“What is… to stop her… just co-ming?”
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>>34899660
>“That’s not how things work around here. We have proxies in place, like Twilight and the Elements or something similar. On the rare instance she does decide to step in it’s usually because it directly involves her or there is without a doubt no other way to go about it.

>“The Elements are a great example of this. Back a thousand years ago Princess Celestia wielded that power, but nowadays it’s been given down to her subjects to use. There are similar things around the lands like them. This is because back then, a lot of people abused the power they had, as they had so much of it. And those with the most power tended to have an iron grip on everything around them.”

Anon understood that. “Power is co-rupt-able… abso-lute power, abso-lutely co-rrupts.”

>Lyra blinked at him, “Wow, that’s a really good way to put it. I’m definitely saving that quote to you.” She coughed. “But yes, during the era that the princesses came about, many other powerful rulers were appearing, more powerful than anything before them.

>After a lot of infighting and talks, decrees were put out to place some of the powers they held to the people, though some historians will say they feel it was heavily aimed at Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. After all, she was capable of moving the sun, ruled an entire land, had the Elements and countless other artifacts; this just made for someone no one could trust to not abuse things.”

“What… does that have… to do with… all this?”
>>
>>34899664
>“To help solidify everything, each nation passed into law that certain positions would be made, including a council that would form for each of their respected lands to help deal with things on a more personal level, derived from leaders from each town and their chosen watchers. They’re aware of what is going on with you, and won’t allow the princess to just come in and nab you without making a fuss.”

“I… see.”

‘Even so, this all feels a bit convoluted.’ He put those thoughts to the side, thinking of something else.

“Were are… we going?”

>“To the last pony for the week. You still need to spend some time with her.”

He looked at where they were walking. “At… App-le A-cre?”

>“There wasn’t any other place that’s so out of town to do this, and Applejack is fine having you around.”

‘Of course, she is; it’s free labor to her.’

>It had gotten dark just as they reached the farm. Standing outside a familiar barn, Anon had difficulty seeing anything.

>“Before we go in, I just want to… give you a bit of a warning. Don’t go super crazy, okay? Please trust me that nothing is going to get you.”

‘Gee, when you put it that way, why would I think anything otherwise?’

“I will… stay fine.”

>Walking inside, the back door was immediately slid shut, putting him into the pitch, black darkness of the barn.
>Chuckles could be heard as Anon inched forward, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Lyra?”
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>>34899667
>Suddenly, the barn lit up in a blazing light. Anon could hear what sounded like a roar of singing tones announcing themselves with a hearty surprise.
>Festive music played in the background as some chirps and tweets littered in the air. He could see streamers and confetti around the area, with a table full of treats he was accustomed to seeing at parties.
>A very pink pony suddenly appeared in his face, forcing him to take a step back.

>“You’re Anon! It's so nice to finally meet you!” She shook his hand up and down, nearly lifting him off the ground. “I was super upset when no one had me set you up with a welcome-to-town party but now that you’re here we can have a super-duper long one all week long!”

“P, Par-ty?”

>“This is going to be so much fun! After I heard about you I knew I had to make an extra special out of this world party! But Lyra wanted to keep you a secret so I couldn’t even sneak into your place to do anything! Now that my weeks here I quickly planned a bonkers amount of things to do! Party games, dance-offs, and I even prepared different kinds of foods for the whole week just so you wouldn’t get sick of not eating it all!” She clapped her hooves, her grin widening even further. “This is so exciting!”

>“I do hope you’re not going to let things get too crazy up in here,” Applejack interjected. “There’s a farm I have to run and if he’s going to be here, I expect he’ll be helping around when he can. Do I make myself clear Pinkie?”

>She shot ramrod straight into the air, giving her a salute. “Ma'am, yes ma'am! I’ll even help on the farm! Buck every apple and ensure all trees are apple-less, ma’am!”

>Applejack ran a hoof over her face. “Just don’t do anything crazy, please?”

>“I’ll be as well behaved as I always am!”

>“That’s what I’m afraid of…”
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>>34899675
>Pinkie shot over to Anon, now suddenly on his shoulders. “We’ll just have to get our party on at night! Just you, me, and everyone here!” She brought out some kind of horn, blowing it into the air, Anon covering his ears in pain. “Let’s paaah-taaay!”

>Toots and whistles shouted off in return as all the ponies he had met during his time there started to wander around.

“A party,” he spoke in English.

>He stared at what was going on, trying to come to terms with everything. It was certainly something to end the whole thing with them.
>Yet, it didn’t feel right to him, seeing it all. Watching them all happily talking and sharing in the festivities, somehow, it all felt so meaningless to him.

‘Just how did everything I’ve gone through in this world accumulate to this party I’m at?’

>Rainbow Dash started to talk to Applejack, trying to challenge her to some kind of apple dunking competition.
>It started to get heated when Big Mac brought a bin over to them, the two quickly shoving their heads in.

‘I’ve been in this place for nearly two months, having thought I was being kidnapped to finding I’ve been transported to a magical world of singing, talking ponies. And now they want me to party with them.’

>Twilight was off in a corner, excitedly talking to Rarity about Anon’s time with them and the new ideas he had given them.
>Rarity was projecting some images of his clothing in the air, talking about his threads while Twilight illuminated her images of the pen he had shown her, along with a few brief items he had described.
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>>34899686
‘How am I supposed to take all of this? I’ve always prided myself with staying calm on the surface, never letting anything show, yet this… this might be too much to handle.’

>He continued to stand there, unable to move as everyone around was oblivious to the turmoil raging inside him.

>Fluttershy was talking to the three small ponies that had spoken to him on the farm a few times, sharing their adventures with him and how they almost got cutie marks on many occasions.
>She seemed amused at what she was told, while also being polite with her time with them.

‘Am I really stuck here with these horses? These alien creatures in this alien world?’

>He felt hollow, something catching his breath, looking at all the horses. They all looked like what they were having the time of their lives.
>Nothing was out of place to them in this party of theirs.

‘No, that’s wrong. I’m the one out of place here. They truly expect me to just party and have fun like them.’ He looked down at his hands. ‘I’m the alien, aren’t I? None of this makes sense to me, how they’ve been acting or what they do, yet to them, it’s perfectly normal to act like this. Here I am, walking among them, not fitting in the slightest, and I don’t know what to do.’ Something tugged inside him, watching the ponies jovial attitudes. ‘I don’t know how much longer I can do this.’

>Something tugged on his leg, drawing him from his miserable thoughts. Lyra, now wearing a little party hat, was holding a cup out to him, looking worried.

>“Are you alright? Do you need to talk?”
>>
>>34899693
>Anon paused, wondering what she meant by that. He then felt a tear, drawing from an eye; his jacket helped wipe it away before anyone else could notice, not wanting to know how they’d react to that.

“Just long… couple weeks.”

>She wasn’t convinced, her frown remaining. “Here, I got you this drink. It’s punch.”

>He grabbed the cup, staring down at the red liquid.

>“If you want I can talk to the others, maybe try and hold all of this off for a later date? I’m certain we can have Pinkie tone this down, somehow.”

“...No, it is… it is fine,” he lied.

>For the time being, he just had to treat things like if he was in a foreign country. There tended to be different rules and ways people reacted to certain gestures and actions.
>This was clearly on a whole other scale, but so long as he didn’t look into the details too clearly, he could make it work.

‘I’ll make it out of this, I always do. I just… need time to adjust. Yes, just some time.’

“Why don’t… you tell me about… that pi-ñ-ata over there?”

>Lyra seemed eager to show him around, wanting to enjoy their time with one another.

>“So a piñata is a fun little game where you take a stick and beat it, and candy comes out! Now, I know it’s a pony shape but that’s not because we like hitting one another. Well, some do, but they’re meanies and you shouldn’t be around them. Stupid meanies. Anyways, you need to get a blindfold and…”
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>>34899699
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~Canterlot: One Week Later~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>“How queer this is, having a quill and ink bottle put to one single entity. And yet, here it is, and with even further potential. It’s quite the marvel.”

>Princess Celestia saw her sister twirling around one of the ‘pens’ her student Twilight had sent, courtesy of komlas Lyra.
>The thing was certainly ingenious and would revitalize their writing industry for more products of similar caliber.

>Luna turned to Celestia, “Has Lyra ever produced such items in the past? Her creativity is, admittedly, a bewildering thing to see.”

“No, she has not. I’m not sure if this is a recent thing or something she has hidden for unknown reasons.”

>“Perhaps to use when she felt most advantageous to reveal?”

>If it was before the scenarios had started, she’d refute Luna. Lyra had never shown the capability, nor the character for such actions.

‘And yet, now I am uncertain.’

>Celestia was confused, thinking Lyra’s true talent was her musical abilities, along with her magical potential being quite high and her studious nature to her work.
>To show off her inventive side perhaps was enough for her to change her views on the mare.
>The reports on the table shared an account of the final two weeks, shared between Twilight and Pinkie Pie respectively.
>>
>>34899706
>Somehow, Lyra had managed to convince them to side with her. Pinkie Pie was no real surprise; Twilight had been the one to shock her.
>She had sent reports to her student about the alien ahead of time, detailing further information that what was given to the others, all the while pointing toward the Bleuh Bleuh Bleuh’s.
>Her reports spoke of confusion, seeing nothing but very faint visual similarities to the things, but none of the remarked characteristics.

‘If there was a time for Twilight to venerate me and to simply be guided by my words, this would have been it.’

>The ‘puppet’ that Lyra continued to share in each image was as unsettling as she had seen the first time.
>And now, with the Elements on board and the council having a part in everything, the scenario would continue to the next step of integration.
>Even Twilight was involved, having requested to work on further inventions.

>“I’ll say, regardless of our troubles with this, it had been enjoyable to the end, even with all that’s been occurring with the guard.”

>Celestia couldn't agree more, feeling tired just thinking of it. More guards had been outed, which only made things worst.
>It seemed the groups leading them started to disturb the peace in certain towns, Canterlot being hit the hardest.
>They’d leave behind propaganda at the scene, vying for either her or her sister to be the sole rulers of the lands. It was becoming a bigger headache with each passing day.

>“So,” Luna started, “are we going to do anything about the scenario?”
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>>34899709
“No, I don’t see any point. Honestly, it’s the only thing that’s giving us time away from everything.”

>Luna clicked the pen a few times, humming to herself. “You’re going to be petty about losing aren’t you?”

“Oh, Luna… of course I am.”

>“How troublesome do you plan to be?”

“I’m not going to do anything too harmful or something that needs heavy involvement from us. Just a… nudge that will push her to the limits over time.”

>“You better not keep me in suspense. What do you have cooked up for her?”

Princess Celestia smiled, “Why, I’m going to require her to get a job.”

>“...A job?”

“To be more precise, her alien friend. She’ll need to integrate it into our town and have it start working there.”

>“I see where you’re going with this. Take away some of the funding needed as a way to push the alien to get a ‘job’ to support itself and integrate, and we’ll have her on the ropes!”

>A small twinge of guilt could be felt, knowing what she was doing to Lyra felt wrong, in a manner. It was quickly killed by her competitive side, seeking revenge over its loss.

>Taking out a new parchment, she started to write a return letter when suddenly, her quill was yanked from her magical aura.
>Looking to where it went, she saw the pen now floating in her face.

>“You may as well test it out.”

>Rolling her eyes she grabbed the pen, returning to her letter. She was going to make it difficult for Lyra to continue working on her scenario.
>It should provide the two of them with some potential entertainment from the outcome.
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And there's Chapter Seven. I hope everyone is enjoying the story thus far.

https://pastebin.com/s1u5dyrF

>>34899636
I've updated the story with a quick rewriting of that paragraph. I pictured it in my head what I wanted but never gave it much thought when writing it out. Whoops.
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>>34899726
An impressive effort. Thanks for your hard work.
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>>34899726
Yer making us all look bad, Haz.
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>>34896823
Holy shit a Hawkeye update!
Damn that I have to work and cant read it right away!
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>>34899726
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I would try my best to get Celestia to laugh at a poop joke in public.
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>>34902126
My friend of african descent.
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>>34874194
>pic
>Implying that Anon is somehow superior to Celestia

How?
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>>34899726
Things with Twilight played out a little differently here than I remember. Good update overall. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
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>>34899726
Youre doing fantastic.

>>34896823
This is the first Ive seen of this story but youve peaked my interest.
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>>34903317
He's got cake
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>>34903959

That's because I take forever to update, so it's easy to miss my rare appearances.
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>>34900444
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>>34903959
I'm quite happy to know people are enjoying the story even with the updating and changes. Got things somewhat planned out for a proper ending so hopefully, you all stick around for that.

>>34903541
While the story will still follow along relatively the same to the original writing, I've changed a lot of the scenes and how things transpire. Initially, I had the story a lot more... perverse in their actions. Twilight was in estrus in this chapter originally, for example. To me, this didn't feel right when I rewrote it, so instead, I made her the reason he learned their language instead of the copout that was Pinkie.

The original chapters are still in my pastebin if you want to compare, it could be fun to do if you want to see how things initially happened.

https://pastebin.com/u/Hazardus_Havard
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>>34904242
The re-writes have been good. I been enjoying the ride this second time around.
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>>34904242
kay
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>>34896823
Huh its been a long time. A very long time. Glad you are alive and still pumping out green!

>Celestia
She is really a nice friend to him. And she knew exactly how to lecture him while not lecturing him.
>Twilight
She says not to pick fights when she literally jumps into every one of them.
Also she is right about the alcohol problem. Maybe ask the herd to make him drink less?
She also "forgot" to say "I'm glad you are okay" or something similar.
>Mostly scripted, occasionally heartfelt, 100% Twilight Sparkle.
Heh. Good one.
>Rainbow Dash told me (Lyra)
Its a small town.
>wrapping an arm around her barrel to scoot her in close
>stretches her head back to nuzzle your cheek
I like cute.
>"I'm not finished." she interrupts
Oh she is upset!
>alpha stuff
Isnt this was told to her multiple times to wait until the herd is full? She really wants the position.
>Taking evasive maneuvers!
Nah, not going to work with this one.
>I haven't forgotten
Nope, did not work.
>going to start acting like your alpha
This she can do. I mean anon could basically say that she is the alpha, but not permanently. Dunno how she will handle the change if a change is needed.
Also Anon could pull out the "im not a pony" card and say that everyone is alpha or something.
>"What did you just call me!?"
I don't get it.
>close allies, outnumbered, outmaneuvered
This is a nice one too, nice thought process.
>Dodging a Sparkle Lecture
Its even has a name!
>dodging your Herd
She is onto something!
>But you're supposed to run /to/ us when life gets hard, not /from/ us.
I like these things of yours. You mush have worked on a few of these sentences for a long time.

Cont.
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>>34905728
>Aloe
This section seemed like a bit repetitive. I mean that she basically instantly said the things what was already discussed (and needed "time" to came up).
>you were either ashamed of your actions or scared of how we would react
Like this.
>Twilight part of the herd as an alpha
Oh the amount of lectures!
>how many ponies you talked to before you got to me
This is some kind of test of how important each one of them is.
>"Lyra thinks I'm perfect, But you know better." "I do."
Just a little stab here and there.
>she curls up on your lap, leaning her head against your chest
>As you lower your head, she puts her muzzle to your ear and plants a tiny kiss beside it.
Cute. I like cute and affection display.

Thanks for the update!
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>>34890083
Just thought I'd let y'all know I did try starting a new green and it's going pretty well so far, so fingers crossed. It's a PiE story, is that still merged into here or do they have their own thread again?

also
>page 10
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>>34907252
Yes
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>>34907252
They have their own thread right now:
>>34799309
But things are pretty dead. I don't think they'd mind if you put it there. I don't think we'd mind if you put it here. We just want content. Thanks.
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>9 again
A bit slower than usual. Hopefully someone will fix this and deliver some green soon.
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>>34909938
Or maybe you cunts could talk about a story or respond to someone instead of begging for scraps like chimps.
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>>34910002
Are you fucking blind? Most of the posts in the last two days have been exactly that.
>>
>>34907252
Good to hear. No reason you can't cross post it. If you do only post it there please give us a heads up here.
>>
>>34909938
>green
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>>34907252
I think PiE gets made monthly now, but they just end up coming here.
>>
>>34911721
PiE gets baked whenever we want more tasty PiE. And you can interpret that however you want.
>>
>>34911751
That certainly explains the quality of some PiE posts.
>>
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>>34874194
Five minutes later.
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>>34913596
Why is she showing her asshole.
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>>34913857
why are you looking
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>>34874194
bettyspaghetti's pastebin has been nuked, did anybody save the spaghetti sparkle stories before it went down?
I have no clue how long it's been gone for.
>>
>>34913947
It's called hentai and it's ART
>>
>>34913977
This is probably your fault
>>
>>34914070
Yeah, probably. Oh well. If somebody was autistic enough to save the pastes I'd love to see 'em again.
>>
>>34913977
Wait, it got nuked? FUCK.

>>34914070
His fault? Why?
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>>34913977
>>34914092
Maybe there's a copy in the old Mulpwiki archive.

https://mulpwiki.batpony.party/index.php/Main_Page
>>
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>>34914151
https://mulpwiki.batpony.party/index.php/Spaghetti_Sparkle

https://mulpwiki.batpony.party/index.php/Living_with_Spaghetti_Sparkle
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>>34914247
is this a good fic?
>>
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>>34905728
>>34905729

Thanks for the feedback!

The alpha thing is going to be a recurring theme for a little while, and I'm going to try to turn the heat up on that a little more in the next chapter.

I also observed that many of Aloe's concerns were similar to Roseluck's concerns, but tried to communicate that they were coming from different angles. I still struggle to write Aloe the way that I want her, which does not help.

Otherwise, glad you're enjoying it so far!
>>
>>34914151
Holy shit, this kind of site is exactly what I'm looking for. Thanks based anon.
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>>34914092
Betty's pastebin has been nuked for years.
>>
>>34915015
You're welcome. It's helped me find long lost stuff in the past. The true thanks goes to based archivist Rome Silvanus.
>>
>>34914404
it's a thing
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>>34899079
I'm always really happy whenever I poke my head in and see anonpencil
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>>34916454
I'm always really happy whenever I poke my head in and see you being really happy.
>>
>>34916454
>>34916933
:3c
>>
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>>34917797
Oh my
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>>34874194
You guys got any kid anon green? Kinda in the mood for something wholesome.
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>>34899079
Kek, nice to see you pencil.
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>>34916454
Bruh that's pretty gay.

>>34918621
Y-you too.
>>
>>34918477
I can't remember finshed ones tho.
sorry
>>
>>34918923
You have probably been asked this before but i'm curious. Do you genuinely hate spike or is all of it just funny banter?
>>
>>34919328
Tsundere
Proof: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/377445/the-worst-possible-thing
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>>34918477
I have anon and bug stuff here: https://pastebin.com/F6bS2MF4

I have Anon and Twimom here.
https://pastebin.com/tfmM8N6N
>>
>>34918477
https://pastebin.com/RHDMnv23
Forgot Dashmom and Baby anon.
>>
>>34919328
Eh, it's a long running thing. When I was young I desperately hated Spike when watching the old series. Probably because he was a stinky boy or something silly, or that his voice was grating. When the new show came out I was horrified that, out of all the cool characters to carry over, FUCKING SPIKE showed up! And he STILL sucked!
But the level to which I hate on him in my writing? It's just bants.

>>34920139
I will never stop loving this horrifying wonderful piece of garbage. People got so mad, it was amazing.
>>
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>>34920804
>scatological rapist with sympathy for the Nazis
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>>34920784
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>>34920139
>Fucking kek.
>>34920193
>>34920236
Thanks mates, i appreciate it.
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>>34920784
>because he was a stinky boy or something silly
Oh yea iI always forget that your a femanon,you kind of shitpost like a dude. Anyway I guess that makes sense if you hated a character when you where young it would be hard to like him later on, even if he's re-imagine.
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>>34921533
i'm sorry, jon
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>>34915249
>>34914151
>>34914092
>>34913977
Here's some of their stuff
https://iwiftp.romesilvanus.io/Pony/Fan-fiction/Greentext%20collection%20May%202018/green_May_2018/bettyspaghetti/
>>
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Okay, I'm bored. Was gonna do this tomorrow but don't know what that day will bring me so I'm gonna update now. Need a few moments to get all this set up.
>>
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>Sitting on her couch, Lyra took a sip of tea to wake up, already on her fourth cup. She hadn’t slept well the previous night, having sent in the packet that would determine Anon’s fate.
>As confident as she felt, she couldn’t help but worry that perhaps something could go wrong.

>“Do you know how much longer this will take?” Twilight asked, taking a sip of her tea.

“Why would I know that?”

>“It’s part of your job I thought to send off these packets and receive a response? Am I wrong?”

“I just send them off. I don’t usually get a response from the princess unless it’s urgent or sometimes as a thank you. The ones involving Anon are usually prompt so I’m not sure why it’s taking so long.”

>“We just need some patience,” Bon Bon chimed in from beside Lyra. “I doubt the princess is putting off on sending her response.”

Lyra shook her head, taking another sip of tea. “Why are you here anyways Twilight?

>“I’m here for Anon and to see what happens to him.”

“...His inventions got you that worked up?”

>Twilight’s face flushed, “I uh, I won’t say it doesn’t, but I do still care for him okay?”
>>
>>34923342
>Lyra let out a heavy sigh, tired, not wanting to start on some tirade against her.

‘You should probably just let it go,’ her inner voice spoke. ‘She’s not exactly doing anything wrong, and it does help us having her on our side if things go south.’

‘I still don’t like it. She’s not exactly well remembered at school: Always reading books and ignoring everything around her that wasn’t magic, not exactly staying with her supposed friends, and her magical experiments were extremely dangerous.’

‘As opposed to the equally dangerous experiments we had to do in that school?’

‘Regardless, I just have difficulty trusting her. The others may like her around here in Ponyville, but I grew up with her in Canterlot.’

‘You just didn’t like school and have a habit of pinning your hate of it on Twilight. So you had some difficulties there along with a few bullies. We’ve moved past this.’

Lyra gritted her teeth. ‘Stupid bullies, none of them believed in my dreams and just made fun of me, calling me names like incidental unicorn number two. It drove me nuts! Why am I the second? Who was the first?!’

>“Uh, Lyra? Are you alright?”

>Twilight gave her a confused look, seeing Lyra staring at her cup for some time.

Lyra sighed, “You realize we’re not likely to get a lot of his people’s tools for a good long while. We need to prepare him to be around us and not focus on how we can benefit from him.”
>>
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>>34923346
>“I understand, which is why I brought a few books to help us teach him.” Twilight pulled out a stack of books that somehow were able to fit in the small rucksack she had.

>“This one is about a history of Equestria, but it’s a version that doesn’t hide some of the more… immoral things that have happened. I’m still trying to get it approved to republish that one.

>“And this one is a guide for magical theory and mundane workings of magic in our world. It was written by one of Star Swirl’s pupils who remains unnamed to this day, only going by the moniker Sunlight Dee. It was a revolutionary book for its time but there is barely any research that goes into magic-absence or the more mundane usages of magical workings today.”

>A loud thump sounded out, the books deposited on her table. Lyra stared at the imposing stack of books.

“That’s… a lot of reading to go through. I’m not sure if we’ll have time to go through all this.”

>Twilight waved a hoof, “I figured you wouldn’t be able to look through these. You’re already focused on him and the integration along with reports, which is a lot of work as it is. I’ve already read all of these and will have Anon reading them with my help. Get him up to date on some information about our world, if you will.”

“Which is the next step that we need to teach him to integrate Anon.”

>“See? Very helpful!”

>Sipping on her tea she thought it over, finding the idea intriguing. It would allow her more time to do what she wanted with Anon, that’s for certain.

>A rattling from her lantern pulled her from her thoughts; it spat out in green flames a scroll, depositing inside its tray.

“She responded!”
>>
>>34923351
>Lyra burst from the couch, running to the scroll and cutting across the waxed celestial seal. Her face was glued to the parchment, reading each word carefully to see what their decision would be.

“He’s going to stay!” she hollered in triumph.

>Twilight’s head hovered over her shoulder, reading the scroll. “You should read the last part Lyra.”

“...It says she wants him to integrate into our society as soon as possible. I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

‘In fact, that’s fantastic news! You can show him around, take him on meals, get him all dressed up, and even get to show everyone you’re not crazy!’

>“Princess Celestia wants him to get a job, Lyra.”

She paused, looking at the scroll. “Ah, crud.”

>“And to ensure this happens, she’s taking away her funds that helped pay for things.”

“Double crud.”

>Something loud came from the kitchen, Bon Bon running up to them with food all over her. “Repeat that would you please?”

>“She’s… not going to pay Lyra anymore for the work on Anon?”

>Bon Bon’s eyes widened, her jaw slacked from the words. “No. NO!”
>>
>>34923355
>She ran up the stairs to her room, loud banging soon followed. She came back downstairs all cleaned up with several rucksacks tied to her, heading out the door.

“Where are you going?” Lyra asked.

>“I need to go, NOW! I have to collect ingredients and get into contact with some sales reps for a fresh batch of treats if I want to get ready for the next seasonal sale!” She muttered to herself about things she had to do as she left the house, leaving behind two very confused unicorns.

>The two stared at the door and then turned to one another.

>“I get it being a pain, but what’s with her reaction?” Twilight asked.

“Bon Bon’s very strict about how the treats are made, and so she’s always out and about doing things, talking to ponies behind closed doors, and so on.”

>“That’s a bit strange, just for making treats. Are you sure there’s nothing else she’s doing?”

“I doubt she’s hiding anything from me.”

‘Pretty sure.’

“Speaking of, I need to tell Fluttershy. She was being paid by the funds as well from her work.”

>“She’ll be fine. Being the premier veterinarian that works with just about any creature, from bears to lions, and let’s just say she’s well paid for her services. Who I’d be worried about is Anon. It’s not going to be easy, finding a job for him.”

Lyra tapped her chin. “That’s true, he’ll be working with ponies, and he doesn’t have a lot of experience being around us.”

>“Not to mention no one in town even knows about him. How would some of them react to a very strange looking being, walking around amongst them out of the blue?”

“And we need to get him a job by the end of two weeks.” A smile slowly formed on Lyra’s face. “So you know what that means?”

>“That I need a new assistant for the library?”

“Would the princess even allow that?”

>“...Maybe?”
>>
>>34923360
Lyra shook her head. “No, I’m thinking he needs to be introduced to the townsfolk! Get out there, meet them, and see all there is in the town of Ponyville.”

>“Is that such a good idea? There are quite a few skittish ponies out there. And he’s still not very familiar with being around us. What if he does something that is, well, too alien for them to understand?”

“I’ve been overprotective of him for the past two months, keeping him holed up here and sneaking him around. He’ll likely meet plenty of neigh-sayers and odd fellows in town, but he truly has to do some of it on his own. Otherwise, he may never feel confident around us, and the same for us around him.”

>“I can see your reasoning with that. So how exactly do you want to go about with this?”

“I think I’ll take him out and try to direct him to places we’re familiar with, like Sugarcube Corner, but at his own pace. Let everyone see him, try and let him take control of the situation as they appear, and move on from there.”

>“And you’ll stay in the background, watching him, and intervening when it’s needed so he’ll feel like he’s taking charge.”

Lyra nodded. “I genuinely think he needs this. Being around him, I can see he’s not doing so well around us, as if he’s restraining himself from something. It was most prominent at the party with Pinkie, how he was staring at us so oddly.”

>“I think all of us noticed it in some way but didn’t think it prudent to say anything.”

“That was for the best. I managed to ask him later on and he seemed to completely clam up, appearing like he’s fine. I’m not sure how his people are, but I don’t think that’s healthy.”
>>
>>34923362
>Twilight sighed. “It might be him being away from his home and life, and perhaps a feeling of… loneliness.”

“There are no humans here. He must be feeling out of his depth, having no one he can confide in or having any form of normalcy to his life. We need to show we can be there to help him through things and hope he’ll open up.”

>“So you’ll be taking him out today and have everyone get to know him. When are you planning on getting started? It’s going to be a lot of traffic in the afternoon and I’m not sure letting him out then is a good idea.”

“I think that’s the best time to let him out, have everyone see him and start getting used to Anon. Also… I’m letting him get some extra sleep right now; he seemed to need it after Pinkie’s shenanigans.” Lyra looked up toward her bedroom. “Besides, I think that would be the best time to take him.”
>>
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>>34923364
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>A groan of pain slipped out of him, the week spent with the party pony from hell a tiring ordeal. Anon had not expected her to be so literal with a week-long party. Adding in all the farm work he had to endure, he was simply beat.
>It only took roughly three days before he finally collapsed from exhaustion. Pinkie seemed to take pity on him, putting up board games to play for the last few days.
>Admittedly, he did enjoy them, albeit finding some of her choices unnerving due to the peculiar similarities to his world’s games: Life was now Stable, Catan was now Tribes of Three, and Apples to Apples was… well, that was the same. Applejack was enthused with that one.
>They even had their variation to Dungeons & Dragons, Ogres & Oubliettes. Having played D&D during college, he had some fun explaining his version of the game and deciding to show them a new rule set, with a proper DM courtesy of himself, when he got some time to plan it all out.
>For the most part, it was a great way to alleviate some stress since arriving in their world.
>He was nearly able to forget about living in a foreign world surrounded by magical, talking creatures.
>Sitting up in his bed, Anon swept his hair back; it was starting to get longer than he was happy with, the thing needing a cut.

“Some-thing to men-tion later on,” he said in Equestrian.
>>
>>34923367
>His language skills were getting better, being able to pick up more complex words as time went on. He knew of them but simply found it difficult to speak.
>It would take time but he’d soon be a grand virtuoso of the spoken tongue.
>Standing up, he started to get ready for the day. Taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing his hair back, and making sure he was somewhat presentable.
>Anon wasn’t sure just what Lyra and the others had in store for him next, but he wanted to ensure he at least looked ready.
>At his desk, he went through his papers, writing in a few lines for his journal that they had provided for him to write in. He looked at it, tapping the paper in thought.

“I still can’t get over how Gleekman transported me here, accidental or otherwise.”

>He had been doing his best to stay focused on his new life with the horses, but every so often he’d wander off in thought about the wrongness of it all.
>Just how did it happen? Did someone from this world go to theirs and provide it to the man? Was it some convoluted manner like the alignment of stars that brought him through a rift?
>A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. Closing his journal, he put it away as Lyra walked in.

>“Hey, Anon! Ready for the day?”

“Yes?”

>“Great! I’ll see you downstairs, we’ve got some things to talk about. Oh, and make sure you pack your rucksack.”

‘Ah, another day out with the ponies it seems.’
>>
>>34923370
>Taking care to pack a few things that he thought could be useful, he made his way downstairs. Lyra was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

>“Come here and take a seat.”

>He sat on the couch beside her, staring at an unfurled scroll on the table. It had a strange manner in its writing, compared to what everything he had seen was the norm; the thing came off as eccentric, and powerful.

>“The princess had gone through everything we had given her and seems to think, for the time being, you’ll be fine here in town with us.”

“That… is good.”

‘At the very least I don’t have to worry about being hauled off because I looked at someone funny. Hopefully, this means things will calm down.’

>“So the next step the princess wants is to see you get a job!”

‘Spoke too soon.’

“Why… a job?”

>“She sees it as an opportunity for you to assimilate into our lands and to get to know everyone. Also, she cut off our funding so I have no way to feed you anymore.” She gave him a large smile after that.

‘What is wrong with these ponies?! I don’t understand. How could anyone think to give a foreign being a job even remotely appropriate? I’m only just starting to speak and now I have to hold a job in this place?’

>Anon smothered his feelings, letting his thoughts die off.

‘No, don’t get upset. They’re just different. Their rationale is simply… distinct, and unique. Just go with the flow.’

“So what… do I do?”
>>
>>34923373
>“We need to figure out a few things you’re good at, and find the best place for you to be! Of course, we’ll also be walking around in town so everyone can get to know you. It wouldn’t do any of us any good if you couldn’t make friends.”

He pinched his glabella, irritation settling in. “Friend… ship.”

>“Yes! So you’ll go out in town and get to know everypony, and while we’re out there you can see all the shops and maybe come up with some ideas on what you can do. But before we do that, do you have any kind of special talents we can work with?”

“Lyra, I was… envi-ro-ment-alist. I helped… try and make… world better. Oil spills, coal mines, air po-llu-tion.”

>The unicorn scrunched her brow. “I know you’ve brought that up before but… I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is. I mean, I’m not sure how anyone can hurt air, that’s weird.”

>None of the ponies, as far as he could tell, had any of the problems he had told them about in his world.
>To find that they were confused by what he described was quite frustrating for him, along with a hint of jealousy. Unless someone intentionally tried to do damage, things would generally be fine.
>He took out his chalkboard, finding it needed to help explain some things.

**I recall you telling me about how your people regulated the weather in Cloudsdale. Could you explain that again?**

>“The pegasi help move around clouds and control the weather. It helps water the plants, keeping things hot and cool when needed, and also gives us ways to schedule the weather around certain days.”

**Our world does not have such luxuries. It’s all maintained by its own environment responding to uneven heating. Over-burning our fuels and polluting our air have long term effects, from putting smog into the troposphere and triggering different illnesses to damaging our ozone layer.**

>Lyra scrunched up her brow. “Ozone… layer? Troposphere?”
>>
>>34923376
**It’s a barrier that helps shield the sun’s radiation from damaging the planet, and without it, every plant on our planet would start dying off. Not to mention the different ways we’d die, from cancer to lack of oxygen.**

>“I… I don’t know what cancer is but it sounds ominous. But we don’t have to worry about such things, the princess controls the sun to regulate that, and magic does help prevent a lot of illnesses like those tumors you’ve mentioned before.”

‘Which makes my environmental science degree here useless,’ he thought.

>“This is all very knowledgeable, and I certainly want to get this written down, but unless you know how to grow some nice plants, I don’t think your knowledge will be helpful. I’m sorry.”

>It irked him, seeing all his knowledge would be wasted in their world. His urge to help the world felt smothered, knowing they didn’t seem to have many of the problems his world did.

‘Although they have to compete with multiple, magical end-of-the-world scenarios, so I’m not sure which world is better off in that regard.’

>“Maybe you can juggle? Oh! What about dancing. I bet you would be a fantastic dance instructor!”

‘I just can’t accept that their world is this well off, not with how many species live here and use up resources. It’s certainly a problem they’ve never thought come across, so they wouldn’t know to look for it.’

>“Whatever you decide to do, just put your heart into it! I believe in you, don’t forget that.”

“Uh… thanks, Lyra.”
>>
>>34923380
>She gave a nod, jumping from the couch. “I have plans for us to go around Ponyville and get some lunch while we look around. I can’t wait to show you around!”

>After that, Lyra led Anon out of the house and toward the town. He had only seen glimpses of the place going back and forth to see either Applejacks’ or Twilight’s place.
>But this was different; everything was out in the open as ponies walked around, going about their business.
>Quite a few of the ponies stopped what they were doing, gawking at him. He made sure not to try anything that could even remotely look threatening.
>Simply following Lyra was all that was needed, so why change that?
>Lyra held her head up high, smugly walking down the street. There were quite a few gasps, seeing her beside him.
>It started a trend; anyone that was going about their day stopped to see what the commotion was about, only to reel back at the tall figure of Anon walking down the street.
>Noticing something, Lyra let out a menacing chuckle, pulling out a scroll from nowhere with her magic.
>Anon recognized it as something the princess had given her, official papers about what was going on.

>“I’ll be right back, I’ve got to share with those mares over there the lesson of never doubting others.”

>She proceeded to bounce over to them, shoving the scroll in their faces while spouting off how she was right and they were wrong, whatever that had meant.
>The surrounding ponies could hear Lyra’s words, calling him an alien being, which only exacerbated the issue of them seeing him as something to avoid.
>Alone in a gathering crowd of ponies, he could hear their loud whispers, wondering what exactly he was.
>He’s an alien? Why was he here? Lyra was right? It was difficult trying to hear them all.
>>
>>34923386
>One daring pony slinked up to him, freezing when his gaze focused on her. She looked around for support, only to find everyone moving back from her.

>“I, uh, um...” Her legs started to wobble, any bravado she had fleeing, her eyes starting to tear up. “Uh, uh…”

>Feeling pity for the thing Anon walked up to her, looking down. He let out a cough to clear his throat, of which all the ponies took as a menacing growl.

“He-llo. I… am Anon.”

>Her pupils shrank at the massive being boring down on her, speaking his words in a stilted, foreboding manner. The thing smiled, showing off its terrifying incisors. It was going to eat her!
>Full of fear the pony let out a garble of a scream before turning to run, only to slam its face right into a tree beside her. Everyone looked at the downed pony, and then at Anon.

>“Sweet Celestia, he has special alien powers that make us hurt ourselves!”

>“He made Tinklebell punch her face into a tree!”

>“RUN!”

>Ponies scattered from the area, hollering out nonsense that Anon could barely catch. Lyra walked back, clearly confused about what had happened.

‘Okay, that was a bad first impression.’

>“They’re just… skittish,” Lyra said. “Give them some time. They’ll grow on you.”

“I… hope.”

>Walking to the town square, many of the stalls were hesitant, halting their sales or hiding behind their stalls when Anon walked past them, uncertain what to do.
>Lyra merely acted like everything was normal, even humming to herself as if to show how calm she was.

>“Okay Anon, I’ve got to go talk to Bon Bon at her stall. Stay here and get to know someone, make a friend! I’ll be back in a jiffy!”
>>
>>34923392
>Before Anon could ask her how she knew what a jiff was, or even try to get a reason why she was leaving him, Lyra had already left.
>Once again, he found himself standing by himself, ponies slowly starting to whisper about him.
>They gathered once more around him, questioning who or what he was, rumors from the previous incident already intermingled in their conversations.

‘I know what Lyra is doing, with her leaving me here. She’s trying to get me to do things on my own, and while nice to know she has my trust in that, it is not likely to work. Who in their right mind would try and befriend something like me, who is not like them?’

>His ruminations ceased when he felt two thumps against his back, stumbling him forward.

‘Did someone just slap two pillows against my back?’

>Two pegasi were on the ground, trying to figure out what had happened.

>Most of the ponies, he had found out, didn’t have the strength to do anything to him save for a few rare ones like Big Mac.
>They’d need a lot of momentum to get him moving like Rainbow Dash could pull off. Magic was, of course, the exception.

>“Darn that monster and his wily ways! He must have some kind of special powers to protect himself against our awesome might!”

>“W, We’ll make sure you can’t have your ways against our stallions evil-doer!”

>The two ponies flew into the air, trying to pull at his jacket to drag him away. They barely made any ground, sliding him an inch or two from his spot.
>They got red in the face trying to move him, but all Anon had to do was lean in the other direction, using minimal strength, and that alone seemed to stop them in their tracks.

>They let go, huffing and puffing. “How strong is this guy? I had training in the academy to fight monsters so why isn’t it working?”

>“Maybe we should get Snowflake to help? He’s got to be strong enough to move him away.”
>>
>>34923397
>As interesting as this was to him, he didn’t want more ponies to get involved with trying to move him.
>That would surely bring about a mob effect, and he didn’t want them doing anything to him, such as being thrown out of the town.
>Thinking of a way to get them to back off from him that didn’t involve him physically doing so, he just so happened to notice the clouds in the air.
>Or to be more precise, a single lone cloud floating above them. A peculiar tuft of a rainbow was slung over the side, giving away to the identity of the pony.
>Before the two ponies got up for a second attempt, Anon reached in his rucksack. He found some apples he put there, just in case it was needed.
>He reared back, throwing the apple straight up. The first one missed, some of the ponies wondering why he was attacking a cloud.
>Clearly, to them, it was such a hateful thing, wanting to get rid of such things.

>The second apple hit its mark, a yelping kazoo sounding out in surprise. “What the hay?” Dash sat up, holding an apple in her hooves.

>Looking where it came from, she saw Anon waving at him. A frown appeared on her face, throwing the apple back.
>Anon had no problem catching the return, watching Rainbow Dash slowly descend to the ground.

>“You better have a good reason chucking that at me.”

Anon pointed at the two pegasi now floating toward Dash. “Help, please.”
>>
>>34923401
>The pony pumped a hoof in the air. “Alright, Dash is here, knew you weren’t a square. So you heard Roseluck say a monster was brought here?”

>The second pony nodded her head. “We came here as fast as we could to put him back in that pocket he came from.”

>“We couldn’t find anypony around here that could help so we decided to take action. He’s a toughie; he’s so strong, we couldn’t even budge it.”

>“Way too strong.; he’ll ruin all our future plans, financial or otherwise!”

>“Roseluck and the others said he gave her a look that spoke entire volumes to her.”

>“Possibly a book or two’s worth!”

>“She said he was here because he couldn’t find anyone to stay with him for too long and is now going to take over our mares and stallions.”

>“He can’t even hold a stable relationship! How sad.”

>“And that he’s going to take over our world and be the supreme ruler.”

>“For a very measured amount of time!”

>Rainbow Dash stared at them incredulously. “What?” She looked at Anon, and then back to them. “A monster? Girls, he’s not a monster.”

>The two pegasi hovered in the air, staring at her before turning to Anon.

>“He’s… not a monster?”

>“Then what is he exactly? Someone from another continent? I’ve never seen anything like him before.”

>“I doubt you would. He’s an alien from another dimension,” Dash answered. “Guy somehow got stuck in a teleportation spell or something and got dropped inside the forest. Lyra’s just been helping him out since he’s arrived here.”
>>
>>34923405
>As if a switch had been flipped, the ponies hearing that almost seemed to look at him with less hostility, talking about him in wonderment, growing more curious about him.

>“He’s an alien? That’s so cool!”

>Anon couldn’t believe how quickly the pony’s turned their views around with that being explained.
>Quite a few in the crowd were now talking to one another,verycurious and wanting to know more about the alien.

>Dash gave a small chuckle. “So if he was a monster he needs to leave, but as an alien and everything’s fine?”

>“Yeah, totally!”

>“Why would we think an alien would be scary?”

>“What if he was an alien monster?” Rainbow Dash asked.

>One of the pegasi rubbed her chin in thought. “Well… we’d be running away from the coolest thing ever, I suppose.”

>Rainbow Dash tittered at her answer.
>Seeing movement on the side, Anon noticed that Lyra was now a part of the crowd, drinking what he believed to be a smoothie.
>It was pretty impressive how easily she blended into the background without even trying. She waved at him with a smile before going back to her drink.
>Anon had figured she just wanted the crowd to figure things out on their own about him. It was either that or she abandoned him to get a drink, and there’d be no reason to think that, right?
>>
>>34923410
>Feeling something poking him, he went back to the two pegasus ponies hovering in the air.

>“Hey, we’re sorry for thinking you’re a monster.”

>“Yeah, super sorry.”

“It fine,” he said, waving them off.

>“You speak sorta funny, Mr. Alien,” one of the two pegasi said.

>“I like it!” the other exclaimed, floating up to his face. “He’s got a really cool accent!”

>Before he could say anything about it, Dash spoke for him. “That’s because he’s still learning how to speak our language. He’s got this weird roll in his tongue when he says anything.” She turned to Anon, giving him a smirk. “So is there anything else this awesome mare can do for you?”

>He shook his head no.

“Well then, I’m off to relax. Catch me later when you want to hang out.” She quickly zipped back up to her cloud, pushing it higher in the air before laying back down on it.

>The crowd around Anon seemed to have dispersed once they realized he wasn’t a current danger to them, though a few lingered around, their curiosity not sated.
>He found it strange how the ponies immediately regarded him with indifference from how they previously acted.
>…Except for the ponies that ran off. He hoped word would get around that he wasn’t hostile. Anon didn’t want a lynch mob chasing him around the place.
>Feeling a tug on his shirt once again, Anon saw that the two pegasus ponies were still there, hovering in front of him.
>>
>>34923413
>“Since that’s over with, we… don’t have much to do today.”

>“So we’d like to be your friends around here!”

>“Two totally awesome pegasus friends, might I add.”

>Hearing the clopping of hooves, Anon saw Lyra walking up to his side. “I don’t see the harm in you two coming along. I was just about to show Anon around the place and get some food at the Sugarcube Corner.”

>One of them perked up hearing that. “We’d love to come! They’re having a sale on pineapple sundaes!”

>“Oh! We never got to introduce ourselves!” the two ponies said simultaneously.

>They started to do something that looked practiced with them spinning around in the air in the pattern of a sideways eight, looping around one another.
>All of a sudden, they collide together in mid-air, holding one another.

>“I’m Flitter!”

>“And I’m Cloud Chaser !”

>“And we’re the two awesomest pony sisters in all of Ponyville!” they say together loudly.

>“And I’m hungry,” Lyra said, moving past them. “Let’s get going before they stop serving lunch!”

>“Alright!” the two pegasi say in unison.
>>
>>34923418
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>“I’m sorry Anon, I forgot about what their meals would consist of.”

>The lunch was a bust, their entire menu consisting of every single sugary item he could think of, and then some. There was even sugar water on the thing.
>Who in their right mind would order that?
>If that wasn’t enough, he had also found out Pinkie Pie both worked and lived there. She was upset he wouldn’t order anything, promising him he’d enjoy a pastry or cupcake.
>No amount of begging or even giving them away would budge him, he would refuse to eat such things for a meal.
>Instead, the others ate there, awkwardly trying to enjoy their meals as Anon stood there, waiting for them to finish.
>He managed to get a lettuce sandwich at a stall, eating that as they walked to their next destination.
>Admittedly, it was quite good for such an odd idea for a sandwich; he’d seen lettuce replacing bread, but hadn’t seen lettuce replacing the fillers before.
>Arriving at their next destination, Rarity’s Boutique, Anon found it was one of the more interesting places in the town, designed like a carousel.

>“Ding-ding!” Cloud Chaser called out.

>“I’ll be right the-eere!” the voice of Rarity trilled back. A few seconds go by before she opened the door. Seeing Anon, Rarity immediately jumped at him. “Ooh thank you, thank you, thank you, tha-ha-haaank you!” Rarity held him around his waist in a tight hug.

“…Your welcome?”
>>
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>>34923421
>Rarity let him go, a large smile on her face. “Ever since I got those custom orders from Lyra and used the designs in my work, everypony has been ordering for their own nonstop!”

>“Oh!” Lyra exclaimed. “Are they done?”

>Anon was confused by what they were talking about. The two pegasi give him questioning looks, which he shrugged.
>Moving them to follow her inside, Rarity brings them to a room full of little mannequins with pony physiques.
>Rarity grabbed a box that was put aside from a list of others boxes in the corner, her magic floating it over to the four of them.
>Lyra threw the box open, letting out a twitter as she removed the clothed item.

“Socks?” Anon questioned.

>“Not just any socks, but the latest in fashion!” Rarity answered back. “They’re all the rage! The way they’re designed in the patterns to showing off all the nice stitching while allowing the colors through. They’re also comfortable, fit well on any hoof, and they’re very stylish. There are so many ways to design them, it’s been a great addition to my wardrobe!”

>Lyra was giggling, putting the socks on. She squealed once she had them on, clapping her front hooves together.

>“So awesome! They match my color and everything!”

>“…I want those socks,” Flitter said, staring with envy at Lyra.
>>
>>34923425
>Anon found it weird they were enjoying them to such a degree. He required them, but they’re just using it for… fun?

‘What is wrong with these ponies?’

>Taking her socks off, Lyra put them back into the box. “These areperfect! I can’t thank you enough.”

>“Why darling, you should be thanking Anon for these wonderful little things.”

>Right after she said that Anon found himself lying on the ground, being squeezed by Lyra.

>“Pony hug pile!” one of them said seeing that.

>And now he was covered in ponies, being squeezed in all directions.
>Soon enough, the four of them said their goodbyes as they walked out the door, waving Rarity off.
>The minty unicorn was currently in thought where to go next as she floated her box beside her.

>“Oh, oh!” Flitter said, trying to get their attention. “Can we show him Cloudsdale? I bet he would love to see that!”

>“How is he supposed to even get up there?” Lyra asked.
>>
>>34923427
>Cloud Chaser waved a hoof in the air, “Don’t mind her, she just wants to show him our house likely with something else in mind…” She hovered in the air, nudging Flitter in the side.

>“C-Cloudy!” Flitter yelled, face turning red. “That’s not true!”

>“She has a thing for beings of high elevation if you catch my drift.”

>“Stop telling people that. Next thing you know, everyone will think I’m into mountain climbing!”

>“Always wanted a tall, built stud by her side.”

>“In my opinion, you need a strong stud to build a good foundation.”

>“Yeah, sure. It was pretty clear the moment you saw Anon that something was going on with you. Just admit it…” Cloud Chaser hovered right up to her face with a grin. “You have the hots for him!”

>“AAAAAH!” Flitter screamed out in embarrassment. She started batting Cloud Chaser with her hooves, flinging them at her head. Her sister laughed it off, flying around her in circles.

Anon shook his head at the randomness before talking to her. “Lyra, what… what do now?”

>“Let’s just leave. I got word some friends recently returned and I want you to meet them before it gets dark.”

>She turned around, continuing down the road. Anon followed, leaving the two ponies behind to argue with one another.
>Lyra herself had already shown him to quite a few places, with a few ponies getting used to his presence, though many still shied away from him.
>Going down the road, Anon saw that many of the ponies weren’t acting normal. At least, what he thought was normal.
>They seemed to be hiding around behind trees or in bushes, following him close behind. He told Lyra this but she didn’t think much of it.

>“It’s probably just some curious ponies wanting to know more about you,” she said just as they made it to a house. “Here we are!”
>>
>>34923434
>It looked like someone split a house in half, coloring each side differently to their tastes. It was certainly one of the more interesting houses he had seen so far.
>He could hear a strange thumping coming from inside of it, making him wonder what was going on in there.

>“When I was back in college, it was these gals here that were the greatest of buds I knew. Well, except for Bon Bon, she’s the bestestBESTbud.”

“You have… a co-llege? A hi-gher edu-ca-tion school?”

>“Sorry I never got around to telling you that but there’s just so much to share about our world, some things just slip by. But, yes, we have our education system that works kind of like yours. It’s not until we get older do we start splitting off into different vocations, earlier than you do. Oh, but we also have special schools like the one I and Twilight went to when I was younger.

>“Later in life I split off in a different direction from others I know, taking degrees in cultural studies, music theory, and some cryptozoology classes after the princess introduced me to some studies for my komlas career. I met these two in college during then and try to keep in touch when I can. And I’m hoping they’ll open up to you.”

>Lyra walked up to the door, very slowly tapping the door. After a few seconds of no reply, Lyra let out a sigh, hitting it harder now.
>A peculiar sound came out, sounding much like wapa-wapa-wapa. Anon raised a brow at that, staring at Lyra and her funny knocking on display.
>A red blush appeared on her face, clearly embarrassed.
>The door slammed open, revealing a very disheveled pony that wore purple glasses. A heavy thumping could be both heardandfelt coming from the house.
>Anon thought he recognized it as a form of electronic music, possibly dubstep.
>>
>>34923437
>“Lyra! I thought I heard you! You’re the only crazy mare I know with those silly bonker sounds. So what has you stopping by?” Lyra motioned at Anon, with the pony letting out a whistle, looking him up and down. “So THIS is the devilish dog that everypony’s talking about!”

>“You already know about him?”

>“Sister, when an interstellar navigator drops by, word is going to travel far and wide. Well hurry up and bring that bodacious beast from the stars inside!”

>The two of them followed the pony in, the place looking cluttered with strange wires and equipment. She shoved things to the side, getting the two to a couch.

>“I can’t remember the last time we’ve had time to yak about things.”

>“Maybe if the two of you settled down we could hang out more often.”

>“The traveling is too alluring to give up. You haven’t partied until you’ve seen a griffon bopping about, clucking their heads off.” The goggled pony walked over to a box, tapping buttons that were on it that turned off the thumping. “For a bunch of beak-heads, they sure do enjoy to party. Oh! Totally forgot to introduce myself to your otherworldly pal.” She stuck a hoof out to him, smiling at Anon. “Name’s Vinyl Scratch and don’t you forget it!”

He accepted her hoof with a shake, “Name is Anon.”

>Vinyl gave a laugh hearing him. “That’s a peculiar accent you have there. I bet it would sound kickin’ as part of a mixin’ for some of my work.”

“What… do you do?”

>“I’m a DJ. That’s another word for an awe-inspiring musician if you didn’t know. See, other DJ’s tend to just go around showing off some simple beats or a quick hash-up of something already done. But I have evolved beyond such mundane things! I have brought about a wave of frenzied noise to everypony’s ears in Equestria and helped refine the lightning-jabber that is the electronic arts!”
>>
>>34923443
>The techno pony stopped in her spiel, scrunching her face, appearing like she forgot something. A flash of recollection and she’s up from the couch.

>“Ah right, I nearly forgot. I should probably get some refreshments. Octavia would chew me out if I forget something like that again.”

>Once she left, it gave Anon some time to take a breather, and look around. The place on the inside looked like it was split down the middle and had things of the more sophisticated manner on one side, and the wires and electronic tools on the other.
>The wires were all over, making him stay on the couch, afraid he’d hurt something.
>He had no idea what any of it did and didn’t want to get zapped by some electricity, or lightning as it’s called here.

“I thought… you did not… have el-ect-ro-nics.”

>“We don’t, or at least not like your people. Everything here is powered by magic, and Vinyl just transfers her magic into a lightning that can be intercepted by the wires, allowing her to control multiple things at once. Most other ponies that aren’t unicorns have to have one on-site just to power their setups.”

“I… see.”

‘So they have some form of electronics here but haven’t advanced it to anything meaningful. I understand that, especially with magic. Why figure out how to make an option to the wheel when it’s already working just fine as it is?’

>“Vinyl experimented with how tunes could sound with lightning back in college,” Lyra continued. “She was inspired by past DJ’s that attempted to use lightning in some form for music and took it to a whole different level. At the time, most beings used lighting when it came to music for playing records or recording them.”

>She waved a hoof around the room. Wires and speakers and many other unidentifiable things were haphazardly strewn about the place in a chaotic mess, at least on her side.
>>
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>>34923445
>“This is the result of her work. Vinyl showed off her music to the world and soon, many other ponies started to emulate what she did, creating their works using her as inspiration.”

“A music… pio-neer?” Anon hummed to himself, looking at the large speaker in the corner. “That is… imp-ress-ive.”

>Vinyl soon returned with a tray full of cups and a kettle, along with another pony walking beside her. She was of a simpler appearance, wearing only a pink bowtie with a white-collar.

>“Vinyl here does not know what’s appropriate to serve to guests and, thankfully, I was in the kitchen when she was trying to bring something out.”

>“Still think fizzy drink and hay fries are perfectly reasonable…” Vinyl grumbled out. She levitated the tray on the table in front of the couch. “This is Octavia,” she said with a wave of a hoof. “She can be pretty uptight at times but she’s cool in my books.”

>Octavia remained blank-faced at her words before sitting down in a chair. She poured some tea into cups before passing it around to everyone. Anon took a sip, finding it fairly bland and in dire need of sugar.

>“Is the tea not to your liking?” Octavia asked, noticing his grimace at the taste.

“No, need sugar,” he replied.

>Lyra dropped a few sugar cubes in his cup, stirring it with her magic.

>“That is a fascinating accent you have there… well, pardon my manners. I don’t know your name.”

“Anon.”

>“Anon… what a peculiar name. Where exactly do you hail from?”

>“He’s not from around here, Octavia,” Vinyl told her. “He’s a misplaced foreigner from another dimension. Surely you’ve heard of the rumors going around?”

>Octavia took a sip of her tea, “I don’t try to believe in every single rumor that crops up around here. For all I knew, he was just a minotaur that held a preference towards a shaved body.”
>>
>>34923452
>“But… he has no horns,” Vinyl pointed out.

>“Yes, you are correct there. Ah, I do apologize for thinking so oddly of you. I doubt you felt comfortable being compared to something so crass sounding.”

>“OOOH! You’ll apologize for that but won’t apologize for wrecking thatawesomeupgrade I did for your cello?”

>“That was no upgrade, that was an abomination to music itself.”

>“It’s got a slick new sound and everything. Everyone’s going to want to hear that!”

>“That is solely your opinion, which you should keep to yourself. What you did was destroy my beautiful instrument for your perverse pleasures. Do you know how much it’s going to cost me to fix that?”

>“There’s no need to fix anything. Hooking up that lightning-pack made it so much sicker to listen to! It was… it was… It was wondrajestic and you should be lucky to have me do that!”

>Octavia sputtered, “That is not a word, Vinyl. Stop twisting the Equestrian language to fit your needs, you fiend!”

>“You’re a fiend!”

>Anon stared at the two ponies arguing in front of him, feeling awkward at the situation. Lyra had a big grin on her face, watching the scene.

>“They’re fun to watch,” Lyra said to him. He merely shook his head at her.
>>
>>34923454
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>The two of them started to return home after spending an hour at their house.
>With the argument heating up, he wanted to leave in fear of being brought into the fight himself.
>Anon felt confident in defending himself, just not around magic, or when they were throwing things around at one point.

“They do that… often?” he asked.

>“Yeah, it’s sort of their thing. But they’re still pretty cool friends.” Anon found it strange they could stand one another. “It sure was an interesting day,” she said just as they walked inside their house, “I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow!”

>Lyra started to put up her rucksack on a peg as Anon thought over her words. He knew that he would have to go back out, but the thought of doing so was making him nauseous.

“Lyra, why are we… doing this again?”

>“Well, the princess wants you to assimilate into our town. I want everyone to get used to you so you can get a job and make some friends!”

>She looked up at him with a smile, quickly turning into a frown noticing his dour disposition. “Are you okay? Did you not like going out? We can take it slowly if you need it.”

>He placed his rucksack on the rung near the door, making his way to her couch and sitting.
>The entire time he had been trying to work things out, convincing himself he could get used to his new life. All the whispers, the stares.
>And knowing he’d be living with all those ponies didn’t feel right to him.

“I’m not sure… I can do this.”

>Lyra sat beside him, placing a hoof on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”
>>
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>>34923457
A humorless laugh escaped. “I just… miss my nor-mal-cy, my life. I miss my mother who… always doted on me, pro-bably thinks I am dead. I miss riding my bike… going out, list-ening to my music. Every-thing, my ca-reer, all I had built up… is gone.”

He leaned on his legs, looking down. “I will never… have the chance to do any-thing I wanted before. Vi-sit Paris, write that book I wanted to, take a shu-ttle to the moon.”

Anon let out a long, drawn-out sigh. He chuckled, thinking about his life. “There was this place… Hangry Henry’s. Ser-ved the best co-ffee and cherry pie. Went there… for years.” He could remember the taste, the early morning mood the establishment held. “You never know… how much you take things for granted… until it is gone.”

>Feeling something wrap around him, he saw Lyra hugging him, crying into his shoulder.

>“I’m so sorry. I want to be able to make things better for your life, but I don’t know how to give you any of that.”

Lyra’s head was lightly patted by him. “It is fine. I am just feeling… homesick, and lo-nely.”

>“Y, you can make new friends here and have a new home and not be sad or feel lonely.”

“I do not think that… will work. It is… hard to ex-plain.”

>“Well, I’m not going to give up! I want you to be happy here on our planet. Not just because it’s my job, but because I’m your friend. And friends help friends.”

He hummed, looking at her determined face. “No… fair weather friends here.”

>“Right, we’ll hope for great sunny days for you!”

>Anon withheld a chuckle at the misinterpretation, uncertain if the ponies even knew what that concept meant.
>>
>>34923470
‘I just need to work on living here. Take my time, and try to live with them in some form. Lyra’s trying her hardest to help me. I should put more effort myself.’

>Turning to the unicorn, he paused; Lyra had fallen asleep on him, sounding off small, squeaky snores.
>Smiling at her, he lifted her, carefully walking her up the stairs to her room. He gently placed her down, pulling the coverings over her before going back downstairs.

“I suppose I’m taking the couch tonight.”

>His plans involved talking to Lyra about the princess’s demands, hoping to find out as much as he could.
> If he was going to get a job, he may as well find something he could do without any problems.
>It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, the day’s exhaustion sweeping over him.
>>
>>34923473
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>“How’s the situation?”

>“Sir, he’s currently in Ponyville under the careful watch of Lyra. She is, as of now, taking him around and introducing him to the population there, sir. And… I think the other group may be onto us, sir.”

>“Very well. Keep a careful eye on him. We don’t want the other group interfering with our plans.”

>“And what happens if they do interfere, sir?”

>“Then we’ll deal with the human. He’s to keep out of reach of them at all costs, do you hear me?”

>“Sir, yes sir!”

>“You have your orders… dismissed.”
>>
>>34923487
WHO DAT
>>
>>34920193
>Twimom
I got all hype for a Velvet fic, but all I got was Sparkle. Oh well.
>>
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This is a massive shot in the dark, but I feel like trying anyway.
I was having a nostalgia trip through the archives when I stumbled upon some posts that got me thinking.
By any chance, are you still around here after all these years, >>19047354 Anon?

Are there still any other poor souls who have been around here since the beginning? Pic related.
>>
>>34924037
I never used a trip but I've been posting greentexts here and elsewhere intermittently since 2012 or so.
>>
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>>34924037

I've been around. Before I started writing, I was a proofreader for MDR-V6.
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>>34924037
Dead link.
>>
>>34924037

I know I was in one of these big things, but I don't think it was this one. A Lot of names there I recognize though.
Thanks for the feelings.
>>
>>34874194
>thread 13 days old.
>300 posts
aie is dead. remember when aie would do 2-3 threads a day?
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>>34924583
Been dead since like thread 1000, my dude.
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>>34924585
why do good things end? I remember aie being a constant, delightful distraction in college. Now here I am, married with two kids, a fulltime job, and age 30 as of 3 hours ago. Never have I felt so awful. Gookmoot needs to give this whole board the ol yeller treatment so these memories can finally rest.

Fuck you aie.
>>
>>34924671
i’m passing from the catalogue to say this post is art, have a good day AiE
>>
>>34924680
Glad you liked it, passing stranger.
>>
>>34924695
But it doesn't say anything about samefagging, now, does it?
>>
Are the faggots gone? Can we get back to our lives? Good.

Ahem.
I put forth that Celestia is the best pony.
>>
>>34924773
>Are the faggots gone?
I dunno, let me check.
>Celestia is the best pony.
Ah, evidently not.
>>
>>34924778
t. moonsperg
>>
>>34923487
Ok, my memory is a little hazy or there's a significant difference at/near the end of this Chapter. However, I don't want to spoil it for myself by re-reading the original should I be wrong. Gah! You're doing real good with this re-write HH. Got me on the edge of my seat again. Thanks for the update!

>>34924778
>>34924779
kek
>>
>>34924773
>I put forth that Celestia is the best pony.
I concur.
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>>34924773
truth
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>>34924671
>>
>>34874194
How would Celestia react if Anon secretly put something she absolutely hates in that cake, like...say, pineapples?
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>>34925266
There absolutely was a big change in what was said and what was done. In fact, a lot of the chapters are like that. While the outline won't change much, how it goes about it will most certainly read differently, and the tones in places will be skewed from its original writings. A vast improvement, in my opinion.

Also glad you're enjoying it so far. Trying to make this feel like a real story this time around, improve my writing chops if you will.
>>
>>34926782
Cool.
>>
>All the stupidity cleaned up
Today, janny was alright.
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>>34927181
Based Scruffy-kun
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>>34927096
>Shinobi
Man the shitstorm days were great.
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>>34924773
2nd best, and you’d be right
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>>34927273
Sometimes Jannies AREN'T fags.
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>>34927400
The stuff in between turbo tryhards like that fag Shin's forced shitpostfest where great though
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>>34924607
These things happen when you give up Anon.
>>
An idea Id like to see an Anon try while Im gone if this hasnt been done already.

>Be Anon
>Day 1 in equestria
>Why cant you breath?
>Turns out they dont breath Oxygen in Equestria.

How does Anon survive this? Does he even?

ok but when are you coming back though salt? A week.
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>>34874194
speaking of 1000 years old
if we assume an equestrian day is 20 minutes long (in human time) then a 23 year old anon is 1656 equestrian years old
of course 20 minutes would be retarded, so disregard this shitpost
>>
>>
>>34928814
That's a good prompt if you're going for the title of "the author of the shortest AiE story". I have no idea how would Anon or anyone fix his situation in time.

>spoiler
Good to hear. Though that's a silly way to put it since you never left us anyway. Only couldn't work on your story, to which continuation I'm looking forward with utmost interest btw.
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>>34929110
ok
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>>34930188
The shortest AiE story is technically an empty post, from back when you could post empty spoiler tags and nothing else.
>>
Do Changelings have bones?
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>>34931490
They can.
Skellingtons are very crafty
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>>34931490
on the outside! chitin I think
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>>34923803
I could swear we had one.
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>>34928814
Your green is in the queue of mine to read. Have not started it yet.
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Lads, what's the situation with HK47 and Thaumaturgy? I've just finished re-reading it and wonder if I should get my hopes up.
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>>34934467
Eaten by wolves
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>>34934467
the funeral is Tuesday
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>>34932432
das a cute art style. does the artist do lewd stuff?
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"Oh for fuck's sake, don't I have ANY decent music anymore?"
>Without taking his eyes off the road, Anon swiped a finger across his phone to skip the song.
>He had just left his veterinary clinic after getting called in at too-damn-early in the morning for a dog that had gotten outside and been hit by a car.
>Poor thing had several broken bones and severe internal bleeding, but he'd done his best and what would come would come. By his estimate, the poor pup's chances of survival were about one in three.
>Of course, he hadn't told the owner that.
>It had been nearly a decade since he'd finished schooling and began his veterinary work, but giving bad news was still the hardest part of the job.
>He remembered them all, too.
>Anon grimaced as the next song began playing and simply yanked out the audio cable to silence it since he was nearly home anyway.
>It was a boring drive home from Podunk, the ironically named little town he called home.
>Whoever named it probably thought they were being clever, but nowadays all it really does is get them laughed at.
>Still, he liked the peace and quiet of living in such an out of the way town, especially with his house on the outskirts so he didn't have to--
"ssSSHIT!"
>There was a brilliant flash of light and abruptly a small deer was just standing in the road in front of him.
>His foot slammed down, the wheel jerked to the side, and the sporty sedan shuddered as various electronic systems struggled to compensate and keep the vehicle under control.
>Anon caught a brief glimpse of purple as the deer bounced off his hood with a sickening crunch and tumbled over the roof of the car.
>As he screeched to a halt, Anon sat briefly frozen in stunned silence, breathing heavily.
>Then he came to his senses, threw the shifter into park, grabbed his flashlight, flung open the door and rushed to the poor deer.
"Wait... The hell?"
1/22
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>>34936600
>He stopped and stared in confusion as he realized the crumpled body in the road was no deer, but rather what seemed to some sort of miniature horse with its back facing him.
>It was bright pink or purple in color, its indigo mane and tail were streaked with magenta and--no, it couldn't be... yes, those were actually wings!
>Not quite believing his eyes, he stepped closer and squatted beside the body for a closer look, and sure enough, one wing was folded neatly against the creature's right side, the other twisted and crushed beneath its barrel.
>He looked up at its head and... was that a fucking horn?
>Anon blinked, rubbed his eyes, and leaned forward but there was no mistaking it.
>Protruding through its mane at the top of the forehead was a small, spiraled horn that tapered nearly to a point, with a jagged flat edge about the size of a penny at the tip.
>Suddenly a bright mote of pink light sputtered out of that jagged tip with an electric crackle, startling Anon so badly he nearly fell backward onto his ass.
"W-What...?"
>For several seconds he could only stare in open amazement.
>Then the creature's ear twitched, its sides heaved, and Anon suddenly realized it was still alive.
>Shoving all other thoughts away in an instant, Anon snapped to attention, bent over the body, and rapidly diagnosed its condition.
>Mare, approximately ten hands. Pulse slow but strong. Breathing steady, no bubbling or rasping. Unconscious, good pupil response. Horn broken, approximately one half inch missing. Left forehoof bleeding profusely from frog. Left fore and hind legs, both tibia cleanly broken. Left wing dislocated, humerus badly broken, possibly shattered, no penetration. Right side covered in minor lacerations. Odd discoloration on flank, likely bruised or flayed skin.
2/22
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>>34936608
>Anon hurried to fetch his heavily customized first aid kit from under the driver's seat then quickly turned the vehicle around so the headlights fell on the injured... Pegasus? Unicorn? Surely...
>Fuck it, he could think about that later.
>He had a life to save.
...
>It's very unusual for a head wound to knock any creature unconscious for more than a minute, and after working as quickly as possible for two or three minutes, Anon was starting to get seriously worried when finally the mare began to stir.
>He breathed a small sigh of relief. Any longer and he'd have had to assume she had cerebral hemorrhaging and that can spell death even on his operating table, nevermind on the side of the road with a damn first-aid kit.
>Still, despite his worrying, he had made good use of the extra time.
>He had bandaged the bleeding hoof, set simple splints on both broken legs, jerked the dislocated wing back into the joint, and he was just wrapping gauze around the creature's barrel to secure the injured wing when its eyes began to flutter open.
>Anon immediately began to speak with a soft, friendly tone in an attempt to keep her calm.
"Whoa there, relax, girl. You're alright, I got you."
>The words themselves were utterly useless, of course, all that mattered was his quiet, soothing tone of voice.
>One ear twitched, then slowly swiveled to orient on him.
>Good, it was listening.
>He was kneeling near its back where its hooves couldn't hit him if it began to flail in panic and far enough back that it couldn't see him in its peripheral vision.
>It was important to keep up constant reassurance, so Anon continued to speak in a low, gentle tone, saying whatever he happened to think of.
"You sure came outta nowhere, didn't you, girl? Took quite a tumble, but I'd say you're pretty lucky all the same, 'cause I'm just the doctor you need."
3/22
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>>34936614
>The mare tried to lift its head and let out a pitiful little moan, its mouth working as it tried to whinny, then its legs shifted uncomfortably.
>Anon readied himself to jump back in a hurry.
>This was the critical moment: if the animal was going to panic, it was most likely to be now as the pain starts to creep in through the shock and it tries to move its restrained legs.
>Sure enough, when its left foreleg wouldn't move the way it wanted, the creature tensed up in fear, ears folding flat against its head.
"Eaaasy now, it's alright. Just a brace to help your legs heal, that's all. You can still walk on them, I promise, just relax and take it slow. You'll be okay."
>Slowly, the animal relaxed again, its ear fixating on the calming sound of his voice, and Anon felt a great weight of tension lift from his shoulders.
"That's it, there's a good girl. Just relax, lay here for a moment. Give your body some time to wake up. You were out for a good couple of minutes, so you must have had a pretty good knock on the head. I bet you feel awfully dizzy, huh? Maybe even a little sick. It's okay, girl, take as long as you need."
>As he spoke, he gently worked the gauze binding around the creature's barrel and the mare shifted uneasily, letting out another groan that sounded even less like a whinny than its first attempt.
>Anon was beginning to worry it had cracked its jaw or bit off its tongue, but there was no way he could check while it was conscious, so he just finished the binding and continued talking, not caring or even really thinking about what he was saying.
"You sure are an odd looking mare, huh? Ain't no problem though, you're close enough to what I do know. I'll fix you up right, don't you worry, girl. No, really I'm just wondering where you live since I've never seen anything like you 'round these parts."
4/22
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>>34936618
>The creature struggled weakly to lift its head, then gave up and stared blankly ahead.
>Its muzzle opened again and an odd sort of grunt and hiss came out, almost sounding like the word 'quest' and causing Anon to furrow his brows in confusion.
>The hell kind of horse makes a noise like that?
>He noticed its tail flick in annoyance, then its side rose in a deliberately slow breath.
>"E...quest...tree...uh."
>Anon fell very still.
>There was a brief pause, the silence pierced only by the soft hum of his sedan, then the creature took another slow breath and this time the words were unmistakable.
>"I... live in... Equestria."
>Refusing to believe what his senses were telling him, Anon numbly repeated the words he thought he had heard.
"Y... You live in E-Equestria?"
>The animal immediately and distinctly nodded its head.
>It had responded to his question.
>It understood him.
>Abruptly, Anon felt as if the very ground lurched beneath him and swayed crazily to the side.
>He caught himself with a hand as his throat made an inarticulate choking noise of pure shock and confusion.
>Slumping to one elbow, he just barely managed to hold himself on his side and stare dumbly at the back of the mare's head.
>Surely he was dreaming?
>Had he fallen asleep at the wheel?
>Or perhaps he had never even left his bed?
>It felt like a very long time had passed when Anon's attention was forced back to the present.
>The mare was rapidly becoming more and more agitated and its whining and scrabbling movements slowly roused his deeply trained need to care for his patient.
>He shook his head and rubbed his eyes then pushed himself upright.
>As he came back to his senses, he realized the animal wasn't just whining, it was speaking again.
5/22
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>>34936620
>Yes, its words were quite clear now and getting faster and louder as its panic began to take hold.
>"Oh, ow, that really... wait, What? Why can't I... My horn? Oh sweet Celestia, my horn! NO! What--how... no, WHERE? Doctor, help! Please, I... Oh Tartarus, where is it? Doctor? Doctor, please! Where is the tip of my HORN!?"
>It wailed in clear distress and struggled desperately to twist its weakened body around and search.
>Anon took a brief moment to close his eyes and take one long, slow breath, forcing his mind into the focused calm he relied on to function in even the most bizarre and stressful medical operations.
>He opened his eyes to see his patient in the throes of a full panic.
>Normally it's not only impossible to calm a panicking horse but outright dangerous.
>All your effort goes into avoiding panic in the first place and if things go wrong and the horse does panic, you simply step back, wait for it to calm down, then deal with any additional injuries it may have caused itself.
>However, Anon realized the way he thought about this creature had shifted. This was no dumb horse that had spooked from a leaf turning over too quickly... this was a thinking and speaking person, panicking due to complex emotional trauma and fear.
>This wasn't an 'it,' this was a 'her.'
>Anon, faced with the threat of an out-of-control patient, roughly shoved aside any thoughts about the absurdity of the situation and simply addressed her as if she were a human.
"I'm here. Listen to me, please. It's going to be okay, we'll get your horn healed, but I need you to try and relax. You're going to hurt yourself if you don't calm down."
>Her ears immediately turned back to focus on him and she whimpered faintly.
>Hell... she really did understand him.
6/22
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>>34936623
>A shiver ran up his back and he struggled to keep his voice steady.
"Please, I can help but I need you to work with me. Here, try closing your eyes and focus on your breathing, it will help you relax. Count to ten every time you inhale and exhale. Everything will be alright, I promise."
>Her eyes closed and he could clearly see her following his instructions to try and get her breathing under control.
>His concentration wavered as a fresh wave of confused astonishment swept over him.
>He felt like he should run away or slap himself awake or even just stand up and scream 'what in the hell is going on here?'
>Then his eyes fell on her bandaged hoof and the sight of the blood already soaking through the gauze almost seemed to electrify him.
>Dammit, he had an injured patient here! Time to freak out later, right now he needed to get that bleeding under control and get her home for a more thorough examination. God forbid she has internal bleeding...
>He took a deep breath to steady himself, then quickly got up to grab an old towel from the trunk of his car.
>When he returned to the mare and began to spread the towel on the ground behind her, she twisted her head to see him and her breath caught in her throat.
>"What? You... you're not... Who are you? WHAT are you?"
>He could hear the panic edging into her voice again and he paused, giving her a chance calm down before he moved again.
"It's okay, don't worry. What matters now is you're hurt and I'm your doctor. Let's get you stabilized, then we can figure out the rest later, okay?"
>She hesitated, shivered lightly, then said, "Okay, but... can I see you first?"
"Of course."
>Anon slowly moved around her head in a sort of shuffle, keeping to a low squat to avoid towering over her too much. The mare watched his feet, then her eyes slid up his body and settled on his face.
7/22
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>>34936629
>Even through the fear and confusion, Anonymous could clearly see the intelligent curiosity behind those eyes.
>Resisting another shiver, he gave her the best smile he could manage and her muzzle sort of twitched in a similar attempt.
>The bloody bandage caught his eye again and his expression turned anxious as he gestured to the towel.
"Now, I need to get you into my car so I can take you somewhere safe and treat you properly. I've put splints on your legs but they won't hold under any real use, so try not to stand. Your other two legs seem to be uninjured, but I can't say for sure out in the field like this."
>Anon stopped suddenly, realizing his words were coming out too quick and tense.
>He sighed, passed a hand over his eyes, and when he spoke again, he sounded much more relaxed and controlled.
"Sorry. Point is, try not to move as I slide you onto the towel except to shift your body weight where I press. Don't bend your braced legs and especially don't move that wing I bound to your side."
>Her eyes widened, "My wing, what? Why?"
>He patted the air in a calming gesture.
"Don't worry, it's only broken. It'll heal, but it could get worse if you move it. Now come on, we need to move - that bandage won't soak up blood forever."
>Stepping around her again, he gently wiggled a hand under her head and slid the towel under it, then moved down her body, shimmying the towel under her whole body. She squeaked indignantly when he lifted her flank but he ignored it and got the towel underneath her.
"Okay, I'm going to slide you a little closer to the car, then lift you inside. Try not to flop around too much."
>He was trying to hurry now and began dragging the towel before she even responded. She yelped in surprise but he shushed her and wiggled his arms under her barrel.
8/22
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>>34936635
>Half expecting to throw out his back, he braced himself and heaved... then stumbled to catch himself as she was far lighter than he'd expected, only forty or fifty pounds at most.
>Her sickly groan at the sudden movement made him wince and he took much greater care as he slid her onto the backseat of his car, then snatched up his first aid kit and jumped into the driver seat.
"Alright, this is gonna feel weird 'cause of your head injury, but try not to move, okay?"
>He began to ease the car forward, but the mare suddenly cried out. "W-Wait, my horn!"
>The car lurched to a stop and when he looked back, her face was contorted with fear and anxiety.
>"Please, I NEED it! It can't heal without the missing piece!"
>The effort exhausted her and her head collapsed back onto the seat.
>"Doctor please... you have to find it... please..."
>He didn't like delaying further, but surely the strange creature knew her body better than he did and she'd been more distressed by her horn than anything else.
>With a little sigh, he stepped out, placed his flashlight on the ground so every little pebble cast a long, distinct shadow, then slowly swept the light across the road.
>After about a minute of this and just as he was about to give up, an odd glitter caught his eye on the side of the road.
>He stepped closer to get a better look and--yes, this had to be it. He scooped up the tiny purple cone and ran back to the car.
>The creature began to speak as soon as he opened the car door but he cut her off.
"Yes, I found it. Now shush and keep your head down, we've already taken too long."
>Dropping the horn into his shirt pocket, he eased the car forward and was soon flying down the road at well over the speed limit.
9/22
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>>34936639
>Only a few minutes later he parked on the grass near his porch, stepped out to prop his front door open, then shimmied the mare into his arms again, kicking doors shut behind him as he carried her inside.
>He laid her on the island counter in his kitchen, roughly shoving the small decorative basket to the floor, then wrapped the piece of horn in a paper towel and dropped it in his freezer's ice tray.
>She made some faint noise of distress as he left to fetch his medical bag from the other room.
>Since he was the only skilled veterinarian in this part of the country and sometimes an animal would be more likely to die if they moved it than if he simply operated on in the field, he kept a large, well-stocked medical bag at home in case such a call came in during off-hours.
>As he returned and laid the bag open beside her, she eyed him nervously.
>"Is all that... for your healing spell?" she said with some difficulty.
>He gave her an odd look as he quickly swabbed some topical anesthetic on her shoulder.
"Uh... not all of it, no. This is just my general kit so it has a bit of everything."
>She relaxed slightly, "Oh good... only really powerful magic would need that much reagent... was worried my injuries might've been worse... than you were letting on."
>It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the strangeness of this creature and he hurried to prepare the sedative injection.
"This might sting for a moment..."
>Pinching her skin, he slid the needle deep into the thick muscle of her shoulder. She gasped and flinched, but soon relaxed as the sedative began to take effect.
>Anon set to work almost before she was asleep, moving with the quick efficiency born of long years of practice.
>It was true she needed urgent treatment, but he also needed to keep his mind busy and distracted from the shock and bewilderment still looming in the back of his mind.
10/22
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>>34936645
>The bleeding hoof was the most urgent problem. He quickly applied a tourniquet, removed the bandage, and realized the deep gash on the frog was more of a violent tear than anything that could be called a cut.
>He cleaned and sterilized the wound, somewhat surprised by the large amount of gravel-like road dust he had to remove, then used a thick suture and more stitches than usual to close the wound. It would be more sore during recovery, but it was necessary due to the pressures that would be exerted from walking on the frog.
>Next he began cleaning and sterilizing the many small cuts and scrapes along her right side and realized the bruising on her flank was actually a little picture of a red star with smaller white stars around it. At first he thought it was a tattoo, then realized it was actually the fur that was colored. Anon decided to ignore it as a mystery for later.
>He then examined the broken end of the horn but was forced to admit he had no idea what to do there. It wasn't made of bone like a deer or sheep, nor was it keratin like a giraffe or rhino. The surface was somewhat similar to ivory but much smoother and it lacked ivory's iridescence.
>Inside the horn was a porous sponge-like material that appeared to be some sort of flesh but was quite firm, like the gums of your teeth. However, most bewildering was the horn's inner core, which was entirely unlike anything he knew of.
>It was vaguely similar to thick optical cabling, but though the core was completely filled with a dim pink glow and did not leak, he nevertheless got the impression of a slow-flowing liquid like honey, rather than the instant transmission of light through fiber optics.
11/22
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>>34936647
>b
>He would have to learn more from her before he could reattach the broken tip, so, worried about antiseptic getting down into the spongy flesh, he cleaned the jagged end as delicately as possible then loosely bandaged it more for protection than anything else.
>Next he thoroughly examined both broken cannon bones and was amazed by how clean and straight both the fractures were. Since the mare was much lighter than a normal horse, this meant she shouldn't need intramedullary reinforcement, which was a great relief to Anon.
>He replaced his quick and dirty splints with sturdy medical braces, then wrapped both legs with gauze. Tomorrow he would check for swelling, probably switch to fiberglass casts, and she should be able to walk pretty much as soon as the pain allowed her to.
>The wing was another matter. It wasn't shattered as he'd originally feared, but it was still a compound fracture and would require at least some surgery to position the broken pieces properly.
>More importantly, he was forced to assume the wings were functional and this mare could fly. That meant the bone needed to support her weight perpendicular to its length and he would have no choice but to reinforce the fracture with titanium rods. And to think he had almost decided not to keep any rods here at home!
>Anon checked he had all the supplies he needed, spent a few minutes making the area a little more suitable for surgery, took another brief moment to recollect himself, then bent over the mare and made his incision.
...
>Over an hour later, Anon leaned heavily against the kitchen counter and heaved a great, weary sigh.
>The surgery had gone remarkably well and even after cleaning, sterilizing, and putting everything away, the sedative still hadn't worn off.
>Anon eyed the small mare somewhat warily.
12/22
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>>34936653
>The intense shock of her first words had slowly faded into a persisting sense of awe and wonder.
>Some small part of his mind had suspected some sort of trick or that the horn and wings were prosthetic, but after his operation, there was no doubting their legitimacy.
>He was looking at a real, live, intelligent, winged unicorn.
>Suddenly realizing this was likely a once in a lifetime opportunity, he slowly straightened, approached the unconscious creature, and began to give it a thorough physical inspection.
>The first thing he did was pull back her lips and he was relieved to see herbivorous teeth, as a few legends claimed unicorns had been ferocious hunters.
>Upon prying open her jaw, he was surprised to find her lips, tongue, and throat were much more human than horse, which explained how she was capable of speech. Hopefully she would be able to explain how they spoke the same language.
>He examined the base of the horn next, but it simply merged smoothly into her skull. Her eyes were significantly larger than normal and front-facing rather than angled out to the side, resulting in a shorter muzzle and rounder head overall.
>Moving down to her torso, he noticed that while her legs were relatively thick compared to her body, the hoof wall was not nearly as pronounced, and the frog was softer and less distinct than a normal horse.
>He supposed that was due to her small size and weight, and perhaps her wings as well - the ability to fly would mean less need for the tough hooves needed for long, hard galloping.
>Next he massaged his fingers into her joints and quickly concluded that all the muscle groups were pretty much as expected, with the exception of the additional flight muscles around her barrel, making her sides appear more lean and toned than the smooth, round belly he was used to seeing.
13/22
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>>34936658
>He hesitated only briefly before moving down and examining her hindquarters, deciding that even an intelligent horse is still only a horse, and this was nothing more than a scientific and medical examination of a new, unknown animal species.
>There too, she was similar yet distinctly different from what he might expect. Her dock was significantly shorter than was normal for a horse, so most of her tail was only loosely hanging hair, and her genitals were even smaller than he had expected for her size, though otherwise appeared entirely equine.
>Finally he turned to the strange image painted on her flank, dug his fingers into the fur and even plucked one of the colored hairs. Not only did the pattern extend all the way to the root, it seemed to be embedded into the very skin.
>Anon straightened and rubbed his chin, wondering what to do next. The sedative wouldn't last that much longer and he didn't want the mare to wake up on an uncomfortable and cold countertop.
>If unicorns had gone undetected even in these modern times, the mare must have some incredible ability for escaping and hiding, so he needed to do his best to ensure she woke up feeling safe and comfortable.
>However, just in case she still fled from him, he decided to take some precautionary measures.
>First off, he set his phone to record a video and slipped it in his shirt pocket so the camera was peeking out. It wouldn't be all that great of a view, but at least he could still use both hands.
>He ran off to grab some assorted sterile containers, but everything else he needed should already be in his medical bag.
>Upon returning to his impromptu operating table, he decided there was one more precaution he ought to take.
14/22
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>>34936672
>He poured some raw oatmeal into a bowl, placed a couple carrots and an apple inside as well, and hoped the offering would help calm the mare if he had misjudged her sedative and she woke up during the procedure.
>As he finally prepared to take some samples, he realized there would surely be doubt and claims of trickery, so he checked his medical bad and was relieved to find a small box of security labels designed to prevent tampering with medical specimens. He tried to take special care to keep any container he handled on camera until it was sealed and labeled.
>Blood would be the most telling so he drew that first, then quickly decided he should take two samples of everything so he could refrigerate one to minimize cellular damage and freeze the other to maximize shelf life.
>Next he swabbed the inside of her mouth for saliva and tissue samples, then swabbed under her tail in the hopes of getting at least a small fecal sample for dietary analysis.
>He briefly considered a pap smear but dismissed the idea. It wasn't really that slow, but all the labeling had burned valuable time and he was getting quite worried about the mare waking up while he was still working.
>Examining her uninjured wing, he gently plucked two of the smaller feathers that he hoped she wouldn't miss, then finally moved to her most distinguishing feature: her horn.
>First he brought his phone up and made sure it got a nice, clear view of the inside of the broken tip, then he gently shaved a tiny amount of dust off the surface of her horn, dropping the entire razor into the container just to be safe.
>It took Anon almost a full minute of consideration before he chose to take samples of the horn's interior. The organ was simply too unique to pass up the opportunity, despite his fear of doing permanent damage.
15/22
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>>34936677
>He placed a fresh blade in his scalpel handle and, moving with the utmost of care, he scraped out an incredibly small sliver of the fleshy sponge-like material and stored both blade and sample in a container, then repeated the procedure for the freezer sample.
>Finally, with more care than he'd given anything in his life, he lifted yet another fresh blade and gently touched the oddly glowing jelly-like core of her horn.
...
>Twilight Sparkle groaned.
>She was cold, tired, nauseous, sleepy and uncomfortable, but more than anything else, she hurt.
>Every part of her was terribly sore and her head was worst of all. She could hardly even think through the stabbing in her forehead.
>However, to her surprise, the pain already seemed to be fading rapidly and after only a few seconds, it had dropped to a dull, tolerable ache.
>She tentatively opened her eyes and found herself in what appeared to be some sort of kitchen.
>There was a small bowl of food beside her, and she could see a small collection of clear vials on the counter behind it.
>Two of them contained what looked suspiciously like her own fur so she slid a little closer until she could just barely make out the label on the nearest one.
>'Horn inner 2'
>All she could see inside was a small metal triangle, but it was obviously a collection of samples from her body for later study.
>On the one hoof, she felt indignant and a little violated, but she understood all too well the urge to study and analyze anything new and unusual.
>But where was her doctor now? Her recollection was vague from the shock and pain, but she could still clearly remember that strange creature with its rich and oddly soothing voice.
16/22
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>>34936683
>Her head was still throbbing but she slowly twisted to look behind her and--
"Oh... oh no no no..."
>Using her two good hooves, she struggled upright and twisted around.
>Her doctor was slumped back against the counter across from her, the charred remains of a precision scalpel still clenched in his right... uh, claw? Pale violet lines streaked up his foreleg and onto his neck, his mouth hung loosely open, and his eyes were glowing a brilliant white.
"Buck buck, what did you do?"
>But even as she muttered half in panic, she realized what must have happened.
>Either not knowing the danger or believing himself safe, he had tried to collect a sample of the pure magical essence in the core of her horn.
"Luna-blasted fool, not even unicorns fully understand..."
>She muttered nervously as she slid toward the edge of the table and resisted the urge to look down, her uninjured wing spread wide for balance.
>It wasn't a very long fall or anything, but in her injured state it was unlikely she would get a second chance at this.
>She took a deep breath to calm herself, reared up on her hind hooves with a wince at the pain in her injured leg, then lunged forward.
>Her forehoof thudded into the creature's chest and she let out a nervous yelp as she began to pitch sideways, but by desperately flapping her wing and with a bit of pressure from her injured foreleg, she managed to keep herself upright.
"Alright... phew... buck, I hope this still works."
>She stretched her neck out and touched the edge of her horn to the creature's head and concentrated as the magic began to flow.
>Sparks shot out of the broken tip and she winced more at the uncomfortable surge of wild energy than from the pain, but she bore down on her focus, refusing to let such a simple spell go awry.
17/22
>>
>>34936688
>The lack of control was frightening and it was as if she was back in magic kindergarten again, but after what felt like ages, she finally felt the trickle of energy as her horn absorbed the excess energy that raged unchecked through the creature's mind.
>"Ohhh... the FUCK!"
>Something slammed into Twilight's barrel and she was thrown violently back.
>She only just caught herself before she slid off the far end of the table-thing she had woken up on and was thankful she had landed on her uninjured side.
>"Oh shit, s-sorry! I... god, I don't... what...?"
>She lifted her head and gave him a little smile as he stared wide eyed at the pink lines slowly fading from his limb.
"Don't worry, you'll be okay now."
>He looked up at her, his eyes wild and not quite able to focus on her.
"Whatever you saw can't hurt you anymore."
>"But what WAS that!?"
>Twilight shook her head, then winced as her headache spiked from the motion and she felt a wave of nausea and weakness. She gave him a somewhat strained smile.
"I'll explain later. Right now I need you to get a hold of yourself. I am still your patient, right?"
>The sound of her weak, shaky voice seemed to get his attention more than her actual words. He vigorously rubbed his face and took several deep breaths before looking up at her again with a somewhat sheepish smile.
>"Sorry. Okay... good grief, and I just threw you aside?"
>He leaned over her nervously but she grinned and gave him a too-casual shrug.
"Eh, I landed on my good side."
>A dry chuckle leaked from his throat at that, then he carefully slid her back to the center of the table.
>"I'm uh... I usually work with animals so I'm not used to patients that talk to me."
>Twilight furrowed her brows in confusion, but decided they could talk about that later. Her doctor was the last person she needed to be antagonizing.
18/22
>>
>>34936693
>"So you, uh... I assume you're dizzy, nauseous, headache, sleepy?" She nodded and he continued, "Yes, well... you obviously have a concussion and normally I'd say you need to sleep it off right now, but, uh..."
>He hesitated, then fetched something from what appeared to be some sort of freezing device.
>"Well, to be honest," he said as he returned to her, "I got no fuckin' clue what to do with this thing and I was hoping since you CAN talk you could explain to me how this heals."
>Twilight looked down at what he held and gasped. Tears sprang to her eyes as she saw the broken fragment of her livelihood, her special talent, her dear and precious horn.
"Oh my... thank Celestia you found it! I... we hurried off so quick and... y-you were so quiet I thought..."
>She closed her eyes as she struggled not to cry from the intense relief. She had been trying so hard not to worry about it, fearing it was lost forever, but...
>Twilight shook her head, then suddenly looked up and gave him a broad, teary-eyed smile, almost giggling at his comically confused expression.
"Thank you. Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means... Um, y-yes. Just make sure it's clean, line it up with my horn, and secure it in place. My body will do the rest. The horn IS magical after all."
>He gave her another odd look before carefully cleaning both ends of the break, but she stopped him just before he set it in place.
"Um, Doctor? The broken piece... w-well, the core is safe now. You can take a, um... a sample."
>His face contorted in a guilty cringe but she laid a hoof on his cheek as he began to turn away.
"It's okay, I understand. No really, I... I probably would have done the same thing in your hooves."
>Looking down at the horn fragment in his hoof-claw-thing, he let out a weary sigh, then slowly picked up another scalpel.
19/22
>>
>>34936697
>"You're certain?" he said, looking up at her just before the knife touched the dim, lifeless material.
"I promise, Doctor. The energy comes from me, not the horn."
>He nodded and, with even more precision than most unicorns could manage, scooped two incredibly tiny slivers of the core into vials like she had noticed earlier, scribbling labels onto little stickers which he then placed over the cap and onto the side of the bottle.
"Tamper-resistant labels?"
>The question seemed to surprise him, but he nodded.
>"I've been recording everything too," he said, gesturing to an odd device on his breast, "No way anyone would believe me otherwise," then as an afterthought, "Not quite sure I believe it myself..."
>Twilight didn't respond as he slowly pressed her horn tip into place because she needed to concetrate as he touched the pieces together.
>She consciously pressed the magic out so it could reinvigorate the dead core and begin the healing process. Her body could handle the rest from there.
>As the healing process began, she felt a small pang of sympathy and saddness for Fizzlepop and her permanent disfigurement.
>She was the only reason Twilight had researched healing a broken horn in the first place. Unfortunately, while a horn could always be revived so long as it was mostly intact, that poor mare had broken hers as a filly and the missing piece was long gone now.
20/22
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>>34936702
>His securing her horn with some sort of adhesive bandage brought her back to the present and she relaxed as she felt the life slowly returning to her horn.
"Oh good, it actually worked..."
>She waved an exasperated hoof at his suddenly concerned expression.
"Don't look at me like that, I've read all about it! I've just never actually known of it being done. It's not like horns break every day you know."
>"No. I don't."
>His tone was oddly stiff and she looked up sharply, then averted her gaze.
"Oh... yeah, I guess you wouldn't."
>He stepped back and she struggled to sit up with her injured leg, feeling suddenly abashed and not able to meet his eyes.
>"Well, since you ain't dying anymore and haven't run away yet..." his tone suddenly became gentle and friendly, causing her to look up and into his charming grin, "how's about some introductions, eh?"
>He extended a hoof-claw toward her and said, "My name's Anonymous, Anon for short. You seemed just as surprised as I was when you saw me, so I guess you don't know what I am either? Well I'm a 'human,' a highly-evolved kind of ape or monkey."
>Thinking this was some sort of greeting ritual, she slowly raised her hoof to mirror his own foreleg, then jumped in surprise when he grabbed it and slowly moved it up and down.
"Um... w-well my name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm a unicorn... uh, well, an alicorn princess, really. I'm a pony, like a pegasus or an earth pony... o-or I guess a normal unicorn. Somepony told me once we're decended from 'hore-says' but there was no mention in the Canterlot Royal Library, and I mean if it's not there, where WOULD it be?"
>She giggled nervously, then the room suddenly veered crazily to the side and the human suddenly lurched forward to catch her before she toppled onto her side.
21/22
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>>34936708
>"Riiight yeah, the concussion. That's, uh... that's kind of important. Here, come on."
>His forelegs wrapped around her barrel and she let out a faint whinny of protest, but her head felt like it was rolling around without her and she didn't have the strength to resist.
>Anon slowly carried her into a dark room and gently laid her down in a bed that was bigger, warmer, and more comfy than anything she had ever felt in her life.
>He was quietly saying something, "I don't have a guest bed set up right now so just sleep in my bed for now. I'll wake you up in a few hours with water and a small bit of food, okay? Just relax and try not to think too hard so your brain can recover."
>Twilight mumbled something that might have actually been words once, then promptly fell asleep.
22/22
Well the intro plot is a little generic I'll admit, but I have plans, plans I tell you! hint: the title doesn't only apply to Twilight ...Now I just have to keep this up long enough to see them through.
I am actually enjoying this story so far, but what do you guys think?
Is the medical stuff too technical or is it a nice touch? Also should I continue with my usual slow SoL style and actually write out Twilight's introduction to the human world while she heals, or should I summarize all that with narration?
I'm writing purely for my own enjoyment this time so your answers probably won't actually change anything but still, I like to know what everyone thinks of my writing.
Oh, and sorry if the last ~ten posts are a bit less refined. I didn't bother proofing/editing them quite as much as the first parts.
As always, please be honest with your criticism.

https://pastebin.com/U1k4Y12e
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>>34936718
It was great!
Seeing as how this Anon was smart enough to take samples, I can't wait for the sequel where he pays the $50k-100k each to make a bunch of Twilight clones. He can easily afford it with his skills.
>>
>>34936718
I loved it. It was great!
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>>34936738
Lmao don't get your hopes up! There's a big difference between a skilled doctor and a cutting-edge genetic biologist.
>>34936746
Thanks, I'm glad y'all are enjoying it so far.

...Also when Twilight first regained consciousness here >>34936614 Anon miiiight have wound up with a little more Arthur Morgan in him than I had originally planned
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>>34936774
You don't need to be a skilled doctor to pay to have your pet cloned Anon. It's only ~$50k. Dogs, cats, and horses are common for them, so that's not a problem either.
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>>34936787
Yeah I somehow missed the word "afford" and thought you said "he can easily do it with his skills" or something.
But why would Anon ever clone her when she's going to love him and stay with him forever and ever and ever?
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>>34936800
To have a super-family of course. To remember Twilight when she inevitably goes back to Equestria. To be rich and famous. All kinds of reasons.
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>>34936800
The more the merrier
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>>34936718
>tfw you will never take a sample of Twilight's love juices
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>>34917797
>>
No dying
dying is not allowed
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>>34938195
but im unded
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>>34899079
AI Dungeon is great at writing AiE shit.
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>>34928814
Well, if that particular Anon has a few minutes...

I was planning to start a fic way way back (like 5+ years ago) focusing exactly on this (and how he accidentally creates Equestria).
But that Anon would had have help by "teleporting" his whole house to somewhere (in the place of Equestria but Equestria did not exists at that time, nor the planet, nor anything).
He would have immediately go to the toilet, empty the water from the tank into a bucket and jury-rig a contraption to separate water into oxygen and hydrogen (just a few metal plates + random batteries he finds).
The next time when he teleports back to this dimension he would have been more prepared and bring a whole scuba diving kit.
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>>34936718
Great start. The medical part is good, keep it, do not tone it down.
Definitely do not summarize. I have a guess where are you going with this, and if its true the Twiggles introduction to the human world is the perfect time to form the basic trust between them, do activities to bond, etc.

>so your answers probably won't actually change anything
That is bad. I mean a bad way to say it. You can have a CYOA like thing while only presenting small questions, and not diverging from the pre planned plot. Like doing a request for a particular scene while still using that to advance the plot, or not but not introducing anything that could affect it.
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>>34936718
Cont. >>34939479

Also I liked it that he did not handle her like a kid/animal once the realization hit.

Twilights explanation of what she is is funny. She uses words/concepts that Anon dont know what they are, while earlier she said "Oh... yeah, I guess you wouldn't.". I know she is a bit (a lot) dizzy.

I suggest you continue this. Just dont abandon it like the AJ one.
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>>34938702
>Finish with Pinkie
>Ask Nightmare Moon who I should corrupt next.
>She says Shining Armor because he's easy to manipulate and he's a fucking coward, and also because he's not very well liked in Ponyville.
Man, she really has it out for him, uh? You'd think I was dealing with Chrysalis instead or something.
>>
>>34882865
thank god I wasn't the only one
>>
>>34939479
>>34939518
>The medical part is good
I'm glad everyone is liking it, I was kinda worried being too technical would push people away
>That's a bad way to say it
Yeah, sorry for that... point is I intend to solely focus on writing a story I'll like because I hate that I've abandoned the AJ story. That means I might ignore suggestions that would make for a better story if I wouldn't enjoy writing them, but I still WANT criticism. I want people to tell me if they don't like something, if I'm doing something poorly, or if my writing could be improved in some way.
>I liked it that he did not handle her like a kid/animal
Thanks! I think he might have done so if she had just appeared in his kitchen or something, but he was kinda in the middle of being a "super serious doctor" when he realized it
>Twilights explanation
I was trying to convey a sort of nervous rambling, so she wasn't really thinking about what she was saying. Did that not work?
>Just dont abandon it
Man... I'll try, I really will.
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R/T you still around?
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Sorcanon?
Are you back yet?
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...Bueller?
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>>34940932
I'm not actually sure if he still browses /mlp/ or not, but he's alive and doing well.
Actually just had a chat with him and Pike on Friday. Ask me anything.
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>>34941045
tinerchat still?
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>>34940968
Sorc quit years ago and had absolutely zero interest in ever coming back or writing again.
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>>34941260
Interesting, what era of tinychat are you from Anon? Sadly, those eventually died out in early 2015.
A fair number of us oldfag writers from the single/double/early triple digit AiE threads(see >>34924037 pic) have kept in touch with each other over the years on other platforms.
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>>34941405
Most of them
hue I remember that
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>>34941485
I have a feeling... Ghost? Unamazing?
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>>34941519
Naw, just a dork. Do miss talking to both tho
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>>34940932
I think he wrote something a few years ago but vanished.
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>>34936718
I'd certainly read more should this continue. The medical stuff fit at the moment because Anon was focused on saving his patient. I'd imagine that would lessen as she heals and allow a transition to a more SoL flow. Could be a good way to show how Twilight learns about her surroundings.

>>34940137
>...I hate that I've abandoned the AJ story.
I'm sorry to hear that. I was enjoying that story. I understand if the muse no longer strikes you. Perhaps it's for the best. I think you were starting to paint yourself in a corner beginning with the last argument between the two main characters. They're stubborn, I get it but it hit OOC levels at the end if you ask me. Just something to keep in mind with your newest story.

Thank you for your contributions and I do look forward to your next update.
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>>34939713
Geez Anon, why did you have to grow a conscience now?
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Do they have leap years in Equestria?
In real life, we have leap years because the Earth orbits the sun in a non-whole number of days. This means that over time, the year drifts out of sync with the seasons, which dicks with farming something fierce.
This, of course, isn't a problem for ponies, who control what season it is manually. The real question is this:
Is there a season desync between places where ponies do control the weather, and places they don't, like the Everfree Forest?
>>
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>>34936718
>It had been nearly a decade since he'd finished schooling and began his veterinary work, but giving bad news was still the hardest part of the job.
This is a nice age estimation.
>There was a brilliant flash of light and abruptly a small deer was just standing in the road in front of him.
Behold! Behold! The Princess Twilight Sparkle!
>Anon caught a brief glimpse of purple as the deer bounced off his hood with a sickening crunch and tumbled over the roof of the car.
What the fuck are you doing Mayon
>It was bright pink or purple in color, its indigo mane and tail were streaked with magenta and--no, it couldn't be... yes, those were actually wings!
I don't thing this pony is Twilight Sparkle.
>Not quite believing his eyes, he stepped closer and squatted beside the body for a closer look, and sure enough, one wing was folded neatly against the creature's right side, the other twisted and crushed beneath its barrel.
You, YOU, not HIM, ree
>He looked up at its head and... was that a fucking horn?
So it is Twilight Sparkle! Don't worry. I'm colour blind.
>Protruding through its mane at the top of the forehead was a small, spiraled horn that tapered nearly to a point, with a jagged flat edge about the size of a penny at the tip.
jagged flat edge at the tip? no magic allowed?
>Then the creature's ear twitched, its sides heaved, and Anon suddenly realized it was still alive.
C'mon, euthanise this poor creature
>Mare, approximately ten hands-
Hot
but >no penetriation
Yet.
>He had a life to save.
His own?
>jerked the dislocated wing back into the joint
I would prefer if he did not touch that part and rather fix it once she is awake to break the ice even more
>The words themselves were utterly useless, of course, all that mattered was his quiet, soothing tone of voice.
Yeah, girl, just like that, ooga booga
>One ear twitched, then slowly swiveled to orient on him.
Cute
I like how she moves her ears and his bullshit talk so far
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>>34936718
>"Oh, ow, that really... wait, What? Why can't I... My horn? Oh sweet Celestia, my horn! NO! What--how... no, WHERE? Doctor, help! Please, I... Oh Tartarus, where is it? Doctor? Doctor, please! Where is the tip of my HORN!?"
Well, she said it, put it in, for healing factor
>This wasn't an 'it,' this was a 'her.'
Did you... did you just assume Twilight Sparkle's gender? Your Anon can lose his loicence because of that.
>He felt like he should run away or slap himself awake or even just stand up and scream 'what in the hell is going on here?'
And any other Anon would do that.
>Dammit, he had an injured patient here!
But does she have insurance?
>"What? You... you're not... Who are you? WHAT are you?"
An unloyal faggot, that's sure.
>She hesitated, shivered lightly, then said, "Okay, but... can I see you first?"
"Of course."
Porn
>Resisting another shiver, he gave her the best smile he could manage and her muzzle sort of twitched in a similar attempt.
Unf
>He sighed, passed a hand over his eyes, and when he spoke again, he sounded much more relaxed and controlled.
Crown Control Skills are for controling crowned ones
>He patted the air in a calming gesture.
>"Don't worry, it's only broken.
Pfft
>She squeaked indignantly when he lifted her flank but he ignored it and got the towel underneath her.
Porn
>"Please, I NEED it! It can't heal without the missing piece!"
What she is really looking for is hymen. Wait, no, that's not Rarity.
>The creature began to speak as soon as he opened the car door but he cut her off.
Not showing it to the owner is a dumb move; what if it's only a part of it, eh?
>then wrapped the piece of horn in a paper towel and dropped it in his freezer's ice tray.
Pfft, this is actually good on at least two separate levels
>"Is all that... for your healing spell?" she said with some difficulty.
>healing spell
How about he goes and fetch her his strongest potion?
>>
>>34936718
>Pinching her skin, he slid the needle deep into the thick muscle of her shoulder. She gasped and flinched, but soon relaxed as the sedative began to take effect.
Word porn
The description of her horn's insides are great
Will he use super glue?
>she shouldn't need intramedullary reinforcement, which was a great relief to Anon
Will she get a different kind of nail from Anon's personal arsenal?
>Titanium filled Twilight Sparkle
This is something
>The first thing he did was pull back her lips and he was relieved to see herbivorous teeth, as a few legends claimed unicorns had been ferocious hunters.
Sperm eaters, that's how my people called them
>Hopefully she would be able to explain how they spoke the same language.
Magic of coincidences
>He hesitated only briefly before moving down and examining her hindquarters, deciding that even an intelligent horse is still only a horse,
Hold your horses you specist scum
>Her dock was significantly shorter than was normal for a horse
NNNNNOOOOOOO
>taking samples
uh oh
>taking samples of her horn
Nigga what are you doing
>Finally, with more care than he'd given anything in his life, he lifted yet another fresh blade and gently touched the oddly glowing jelly-like core of her horn.
Get some friendly doze of nerve gas faggot
>Pale violet lines streaked up his foreleg and onto his neck, his mouth hung loosely open, and his eyes were glowing a brilliant white.
Get fucked
>"But what WAS that!?"
Why, mare orgasm, of course
>"Oh my... thank Celestia you found it! I... we hurried off so quick and... y-you were so quiet I thought..."
As I said, dumb thing he did not show it to her
>sympathy and saddness for Fizzlepop
Anon's Dick for Shadow Tempest

>I'm writing purely for my own enjoyment this time
Good.

Is the medical stuff too technical or is it a nice touch?
It's fine from Anon's point of view. It would be terrible if it were Rainbow Dash or Applejack who would have such perception on medical field.
>>
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>>34936718
>As always, please be honest with your criticism.
You suck.

>I am actually enjoying this story so far, but what do you guys think?
More, but you still suck.

>>34940137
>The medical part is good
>I'm glad everyone is liking it
I hate it. To be honest, something you are not capable of anymore, this episode so far was: Anon's introduction through Anon's actions and POV, and then, Twilight being happy she will live to annoy us forever.

>because I hate that I've abandoned the AJ story
Then un-abandon it.

>That means I might ignore suggestions that would make for a better story if I wouldn't enjoy writing them, but I still WANT criticism. I want people to tell me if they don't like something, if I'm doing something poorly, or if my writing could be improved in some way.
Writing advices, not plot decisions. Roger that.

>Just dont abandon it
>Man... I'll try, I really will.
Just make Twilight Sparkle a devoted bird lover and an expert lock-smith and this story is safe.
>>
>>34945990
Never change, faps
>>
>>34874206
https://pastebin.com/U79sgGbF
Bit grimdark but what can you expect.
>>
>>34946280
>SeaUrchin
>bit grimdark
Understatement of the decade.
>>
>>34946372
No kidding. I read that back to back with "Obsession" not knowing what I was getting into. I was depressed for weeks afterwards.
>>
>>34946476
I’ve begun the journey into it... fuck me the writing is good
>>
>>34924607
Because people make hundreds of different threads from one concept.
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>>34947018
holy fic what have I done?
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>>34945990

Reading Fapman critique things is a form of entertainment in and of itself.
>>
bump
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>>34949275
No u
>>
7
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>>34950774
Ok
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Just got home. Gonna settle in and do some last minute brain storming.
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>>34951441
Always good for keeping threads alive.
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>>34951441
I smell smoke.
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>>34952815
Don't worry, that's just my mixtape
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>>34952925
Got stuck?
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>>34953506
Nah man, don't you know the saying? Where's there's smoke, there's straight FIRE
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>>34953511
No, no, it's "Where there's smoke they pinch back"
>>
>>34953511
That's your tape self-immolating m80
>>
Okie-Dokie, trying to get myself all set up for another chapter update.
>>
>>34954445
Oh hey that's what I'm doing! Is it going terribly for you too?
>>
>>34954491
I kind of forgot to clean it up and make it post ready. Really tired right now, stayed up late playing games. Ugh. Just about done though.
>>
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>The following day, Anon sat down with Lyra in the kitchen, asking her to explain things to him about life in their lands. She barely worked with him on the topic, even Twilight provided more information than her.
>It was clear she was more interested in him and his life, skipping what he thought should have been obvious to teach him.
>This lead to Lyra explaining more about her work than she had previously.
>Being directly employed by the princess seemed to have some perks, such as having restricted information given to her or knowing special magics, though having a job as a komlas didn’t seem very glamorous from what he had seen.
>Regarding the princess, none of his answers on why they wanted him to have a job were answered. It was as if she simply followed along with authority figures. Or really, just about any pony from what he had seen so far.
>A dangerous route if anyone decided to do something dangerous like form a commune based around their ideals.
>On the topic of her job and aliens, Lyra had shared something that she had been keeping a secret from others: her dreams.
>She had been having dreams of humans and their culture for a long time. From Star Wars to Sherlock Holmes, she experienced these places as she slept. It certainly explained how she knew things about humans.
>>
>>34954504
>“You know what my dreams are?”

“In a way? You are… just de-scribing a lot of stories and movies… we have from our world. I think… maybe you’re in-ad-vertently viewing them… while you sleep.”

‘Free tickets to movies while you sleep. I’m almost jealous of her.’

>“I don’t know. It feels like I’m there, walking among them as things go on. You don’t think they might be places like your world? Like, their own contained realities?”

“How would you explain… us knowing about them then? We don’t have magic.”

>“Sure, but what say you are unconsciously receiving the thoughts of those worlds and realities? There’s a fascinating theory here about that. While we create our own stories or worlds in our arts and books, perhaps they are realities that are being reinterpreted.”

“Yeah, I guess? Can’t say… there isn’t a po-ssibility… what with a world of magic.”

>Anon didn’t want to continue the conversation, feeling her reeling away from the whole point of talking to her.

“Can we refocus… on me living here?”

>Lyra coughed, “Right, sorry.”

>A louder cough made the two jump, Bon Bon standing off to the side. She went around to sit across from them, staring down at her already prepared meal.

>“There’s no jammy toast.” She sounded sad, looking at her plate.

>“Shoot, I knew I forgot something!”

>Lyra got up, going to the counter, preparing just that. Bon Bon continued to frown at just about everything she looked at. Her plate, the floor, Anon. Even Lyra was subjected to the strong frown, of which she was unaware of as she prepared toast.
>Place some large, hairy eyebrows on that face and Anon wasn’t sure anyone could withstand such a frown.

“Are you… doing alright?” Anon asked.

>She, of course, frowned back. “Why do you ask?”

“You seem… upset at some-thing, glaring at every-thing, even Lyra.”
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>>34954506
>Bon Bon blinked, not realizing that. “Sorry, that wasn’t my intention. And… yeah, it’s been a rough couple of days, trying to get some stock made up for this season. Thankfully I have something to show for it, but I’ll be up for many nights so I can make up enough stock to sell for next week. “

>She continued, “It is the busiest day of the year for candy selling, so I need to make up as much as I can for everypony to purchase what they can from me.”

>Lyra let out a gasp. “That’s right! I need to get my costume ready!” She turned to Anon, looking him up and down to size him up. “I should get one for Anon as well.”

“What is happening next week?” Anon asked.

>Lyra blinked at his question. “I never did tell you about our holidays, didn’t think it was important to mention.”

‘Like a lot of things, it seems.’

>“Next week is Nightmare Night. It’s a holiday that specifically has to do with ponies dressing up and going around asking for candy and playing games!”

>Bon Bon rolled her eyes at what she said. “The holiday originated from Nightmare Moon. It’s a being from the past that had, from what everyone now knows, taken over Princess Luna’s mind and tried to force eternal darkness. There’s a lot more to it than that, but it’s the gist of things. >The holiday was made to teach little foals and fillies to learn about our past and its rulers, while also having her steal candies from them at the same time. Just don’t question it.”

“That sounds like… a holiday I know called Hall-o-ween. People go around, collect candy, dress up, play games. Nothing about stealing candy… unless you count tricks?”

>“Did you dress up for anything on Hay-low-een?” Lyra asked him with a wide grin.
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>>34954511
“When I was youn-ger, yes. I still do for parties, usually as my favorite super-hero Batman.”

>He had only given a quick rundown on what superheroes were just moments ago, Lyra having experienced them in her dreams. She squealed, hearing that.

>“I remember that guy in my dreams! He wears long pointy ears, rides around in a funny cart, and has a bird for a sidekick!”

“Ah, yeah… that is him.”

>Bon Bon took a sip from her drink to clear her throat. “She told you about her dreams?”

“It… came up yes-ter-day.”

>“Oh, boy was he a fun one. He had so many weird things to say, and those gadgets. The Bat-melter, the Bat-fan, his Bat-tweezers, and my personal favorite the Shark Repellent.”

Anon let out a groan, wiping his face. ‘Of all the Batmans she could dream of, she got that one?’

“Bat-man… has changed in many years. Much… different from that one, Lyra.”

>“So Batman retired and someone else took up the role? It must be some guy if he can take on villains like the Joker, or Clock King.”

“Yeah, that… sure is right.”

‘Who the heck is the Clock King?’
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>>34954516
>“He must have had so many exciting adventures. I can’t wait to see the new Batman from you! We should be able to find someone in town to make it up for you and you can share everything about him. This is going to be so much fun!”

>“Lyra,” Bon Bon spoke up, “we need to get him a job before we plan on anything else at the moment. Plus, don’t you remember who would be showing up for that day? If it’s going to be a repeat of previous Nightmare Nights, then Princess Luna might make an appearance to our town this year.”

>She realized what that meant, furrowing her brow. “Oh yeah, she’ll most likely want to see Anon for sure.”

>Anon remembered his conversation with Lyra about the princesses. While the unicorn didn’t go into too much detail, she felt that it was Princess Luna that was giving her most of the trouble that she had gone through for the past several weeks, involving him.
>He wasn’t too excited about meeting an all-powerful princess of the lands, one that could move one of the celestial bodies with but a thought.
>Thankfully, it was still another week before that would happen, so he could prepare for his inevitable introduction with her.
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>>34954520
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“We are… going to the park?”

>Walking down the streets of Ponyville, he was being led in the opposite direction of town by Lyra.

>“We need you to get familiarized by everypony in town and we can’t do that unless you’re interacting around them. This should also give you some ideas on what our lives are like, so you could figure out what kind of job you could perform.”

“And… a fair is taking place? A holiday before a holiday.”

>“Eh, kind of. There are several music gatherings held each year, and one is being held today. Ponies go there and share their music while stands are set up to sell odd things or as gaming booths. But I wouldn’t call it a holiday.”

>“It’s pretty fun,” Bon Bon added. “You get to go around, enjoy some food, and hear a lot of different music playing. Just keep a friendly face and everything should be fine.”

‘Easier said than done.’

>Walking up to the festivities, many of the ponies were in high spirits, laughing and drinking or eating something he partially recognized, but was certain was filled with things like hay or flowers.
>The few that noticed him paused, surprised to see him there. It had a ripple effect, everyone slowly realizing that the alien was there.

>“Play it cool Anon,” Lyra whispered to him, placing a large smile on her as she walked forward.

>“Hello everyone! We are here to show our foreign friend our festivities! Please do not be alarmed by his freakish height or odd appearance as he is an alien.”

>Bon Bon slapped a hoof to her face as everyone gave Anon mixed looks.

“Is this… a good idea?” Anon asked Bon Bon.

>“We’ll see if it was in a few minutes if Lyra hadn’t mistakenly formed a mob out for you.”
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>>34954525
>Quite a few ponies stopped to stare at Anon, whispering rumors about the other day, most wondering just what he was and why he was there.
>Lyra had previously told him they would open up eventually, as their world is so full of different species it’s hard to lay suspicion for very long. He still found it uncomfortable being around.
>Anon was pushed slightly forward, feeling two oversized bags of marshmallows hitting his backside.

>“See, we nearly got him to move that time!”

>“We were so close we were!”

>He held a sigh back, realizing it was only Flitter and Cloud Chaser, the former holding a picnic basket.

>“Hey girls,” Bon Bon said. “You two out here for the festivities?”

>“We go every year just to see all the acts that come here; finding all that great talent, playing their instruments on our backdoor.”

>“The music is also pretty good, I must admit.”

>Bon Bon coughed, “Ehr, yes. We were showing Anon around ourselves.”

>Flitter seemed intrigued, floating over to him. “Really? That’s fantastic! We got a picnic and everything we can enjoy together!”

>“We were just thinking of having a picnic.” Lyra stepped in, keeping her smile up. “Why don’t we find a good tree to sit under to enjoy the music.”
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>>34954526
>Flitter and Cloud Chaser went ahead as the three followed. Bon Bon walked up to Lyra, giving her an odd look.

>“After everything you said dealing with Anon, wanting to take him around the place, I didn’t think you’d be interested in a picnic with him and others.”

>“Oh, I’m not. But looking around and hearing of what others had to say of Anon, it’s not looking good. Can you believe some of them think I just went and tamed some beast from the Everfree? No, I think getting him to do something normal like a picnic would be for the best.”

>“Get everyone to see he’s just here to relax, like them, and not up to anything?”

>“Pretty much.”

>Bon Bon hummed. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to just relax. I wish I could stick around for that but I have to go back to my work.”

>“Ah, I wanted you to hang out with us today.”

>“I’m still way behind on my treats and I need to sell some to make up on costs. I’ll see you out in town tomorrow though, my stand should be up by then.” With a wave goodbye, Lyra was left alone to work with Anon.

>Finding a tree was relatively easy for the group, most of the ponies wanting to be close to the stage left most of the outer areas alone.
>For Anon, he found it… surprisingly relaxing. Everyone was at ease, sitting around, eating food, and listening to music.
>The ponies that passed them by sometimes spoke, seemingly to see just who or what he was.
>Lyra had him speak to every one of them, no matter who it was or what their question wound up being. She wanted him to interact with as many ponies as he could.
>The more ponies that he spoke to, the bigger the outcome. Or that was how she had put it.
>He didn’t want to argue, finding the issue nonexistent, his time there nice and simple, enjoying the sun and music.
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>>34954528
>Most of the music he heard was quite interesting to him, though in fairness, without having heard any for so long, he was glad to have anything.
>The current act, playing a barbershop quartet, had just finished their rounds, making room for a familiar face.

“Octavia is playing today?” he asked Lyra.

>The music was certainly not what he was expecting her to play. It came off more like a fast-paced country than the classical music he was expecting.

>“No, that’snotOctavia,” Lyra answered. “That’s just her biggest fan, Fiddly Faddle, but she also goes by Fiddlesticks. She’s quite obsessed with Octavia. Fiddlestick’s learned all the instruments that Octavia has and even tries to mimic her appearance at times.

>“She’s not very good at classical. After a lot of attempts, I recall she had some stroke of inspiration and had started playing it like country, and ever since she’s stuck with it; still obsessed with Octavia though, for whatever reason she has.”

>“She must have come out here to perform to possibly try and draw her out,” Cloud Chaser said.

>“Who’d want to come out to a showdown on that kind of stage?”

“Does not Octavia only play the cello?” Anon asked. He had thought from what was explained before that was her main string to play.

>Lyra shook her head, “She plays from the entire violin family: The viola, violin, cello, and double bass. She has a preference towards the cello, but honestly, if it has a string she’ll play it.”

He frowned, hearing about the violin family. ‘Just another thing from both of our worlds. This is too strange of a coincidence for our worlds to not be connected in some manner.’

>Anon set these thoughts aside as Fiddlesticks started to play. He still didn’t know how the ponies could hold things with their appendages.
>>
>>34954531
>“We should probably go, I don’t want her knowing I’m here,” Lyra said, trying to pull Anon away as Fiddle finished her set, leaving the stage.

“Why is that?” Anon asked. He wanted to continue listening to music.

>Lyra let out a sigh. “Look, Octavia doesn’t keep a lot of ponies very close to her nowadays, especially with how much she travels. I happen to be one of those few that she does. I just don’t want to be—”

>“Hello there, Lyra,” Anon heard from his side.

>The unicorn immediately halted in her steps, turning to Fiddlesticks who had somehow snuck upon them without their notice.

>“…Ah, hello?”

>“I noticed that you were in the crowd and I figured I’d come over and say hi and ask you some things. I mean, you still haven’t answered my questions from last time!”

>Anon quirked an eyebrow up at this new pony, who barely even glanced in his direction.
>She even sounded like Octavia but with a slight southern twang to her. It was eerie how accurate she was going about this.

>“Look, I’d love to chat and all but…” Lyra moved over to Anon’s side, “I’m showing Anon her around the place. It’s nothing I can get held up in and all, you understand.”

>“It’s nothing huge,” Fiddlesticks said with a wave of her hoof, “I just wanted to know some things about Octavia I heard recently. Like, what stories she shared with you from her travels or your time in college with her. I hear there are interesting rumors regarding some things back then with your lot.”

>“I uh, I don’t know what you're referring to,” Lyra nervously spoke.

>Anon wasn’t sure if it was the weird looks she gave Lyra or how she mimicked Octavia, but looking at that pony, he was officially creeped out.
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>>34954534
>“Oh, my,” Cloud Chaser started, “Who do I spy with my dawn-tinted eyes?”

>Flitter followed, “I see someone that wants to make a break for it.”

>Cloud Chaser looked thoughtful, “While some say boring, I say it’s hard to miss that dark gray mane and light gray coat.”

>Flitter poked Fiddlesticks, “Being around a boorish person like you turns any mood dark and gray.”

>Cloud Chaser nodded her head, “With a pink that greatly highlights her character.”

>Flitter nudged Fiddlestick's face aside, “You need to wipe the pink off your face, or others will be judgingyourcharacter.”

>“If I didn’t know any better…”

>“And we all wish you didn’t…”

>“Why that’s Octavia!” they both said in unison.

>Her eyes widened like saucers, looking to where the two ponies pointed at. Octavia was now on stage, setting up her instrument with a few other ponies.
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>>34954542
>The pony in front of him started to hyperventilate.
>The moment Octavia started to play her music, something that Anon thought looked elegant, the pony let out a shrill scream, running up to the crowd, completely captivated by the music.

>Lyra immediately pulled him away from the vicinity of the mare. “I didn’t expect her to be there or I’d have made sure Bon Bon stuck around. She usually has a way to get that creepy mare away from us.”

“Why did she act like that?”

>She rubbed her forehead, finding a headache starting to appear. “When Octavia had just gotten a name for herself years ago she… made some bad decisions, one of them involving her fans. She may have gotten a little too close to some of them after some of the concerts she held and was a part of. Fiddlesticks was one of those fans.”

>He pictured Octavia rather differently from what she had said. But he knew how stardom could get to some people’s heads.
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>>34954548
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>“These all look fantastic, Bonnie!”

>“Thanks. It took a long time to get most of these done, the slimers being the most difficult. Sadly I couldn’t get the squishy beans or teeth crackers made up.”

>“Aw, I really like the crackers. Think you’ll have enough time to get some done for next week?”

>“No, starting a new batch with different ingredients will take too much time. I’ll just make some more of the current treats but vary the flavors.”

>After the music festival, Lyra took him back to the house to rest so she could get ready for the next day, saying she needed to make plans for him out in town.
>He was currently in the town square, looking at many of the different stands set up for the upcoming holiday.
>Lyra wanted him to look around the place and come up with further ideas for potential careers he could work in.
>Anon stood at Bon Bon’s stand, seeing a fairly wide variety of sugary treats, some familiar but in different shapes or makes.

>“What do you think of Bon Bon’s treats, Anon?”

He picked up one, moving the candy in his fingers. “This looks… like a Mary Jane. Is there… peanut butter mixed in?”

>Bon Bon’s eyes widened. “Peanut butter! That’s a good idea. I should mix some batches with that. And no, that’s mixed with dyed marshmallows.”

“Natural dyes?”

>“...I don’t know how you’d make something unnatural. Is that a human thing?”
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>>34954551
>Before he could respond, a flash of light popped right beside them. Twilight stood there, looking around before spotting Anon
>The ponies that were hesitant near Anon stepped back, wondering just what was about to go down

>“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. For someone so distinct looking you are not easy to look for.”

“Did you… need something, Twilight?”

>“Did Lyra not tell you? You were supposed to spend some time with me so we can talk about your people for my reports.”

>Lyra turned away, scrunching up her nose. “I… may have forgotten?”

>Twilight let out a sigh. “I had requested the princess to let me put in reports with you Anon, specifically on your people’s works. Your pens are already getting into circulation and I can’t wait to see what else we can do.”

>“He’s the one that made those pens?!” a pony hollered out

>“Ilovethose things!”

>“No more ink bottles or broken tips!”

>The ponies all seemed in agreement with the pens, of which Anon had no idea were being made.

“Should have… patented those.”

>“What’s a patent?” Twilight asked

He hadn’t meant for her to hear that. “It’s… a human thing, forget it.”

>She shrugged it off. “While Lyra should have spoken to you about us talking-” Lyra looked off to the side, “-I know it’s important to have you personally taking part in what we do, so I’ll just follow along for now. There’s still plenty of time for us to talk today after your done here.”

>“Oooh.” Lyra sucked in some air, looking guilty. “I may have set him up for a presentation that’s going to start pretty soon at the school. Oops?”

>Twilight looked nonplussed. “Okay,” she gritted out. “Then I’ll talk to him after that. So where are you going next?”

>Before Lyra could reply, Bon Bon placed a hoof over her mouth. “She’s nearly finished taking him around here as it is. All that’s left is Pinkie’s stand.”
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>>34954551
>“Oh!” Twilight seemed thrilled. “She said something about having something special for this year and I am anxious to see what she made.”

>A quick jaunt over to the stand, with Twilight ensuring Lyra didn’t get off track, and the three of them stood, mouths agape at what was at Pinkie’s stand.

Anon opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it once more agape.“What… am I looking at?”

>Pinkie threw some green and purple confetti in the air. “It’s your very own conjured cookie construct, Crumble!”

>“Yay! I’m Crumble!”

>Standing on top of her stand stood an animated confection in the shape of a pony. It walked, it spoke, it did a little jig.

>“Uh, Pinkie?” Twilight spoke. “Why did you make this? HOW did you make this?”

>Pinkie stuck a hoof under her chin, rubbing it in thought. “It sure was something. One day, I encountered a mysterious being that offered me ultimate power with ultimate muscles in exchange to take on an ultimate wrestler someday in the future, but I opted to ‘pretty okay’ power for pretty okay muscles and spent a pretty okay day with the guy.

>Poor fella, he looked like he needed a friend so I shared some treats with him, talked things out, and then introduced him to Cheerilee’s sister so she could help the guy with his vengeance. It was a pretty fun day! Oh, and I met a unicorn afterward that agreed to help me animate the cookie.”
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>>34954556
>Lyra opened and closed her mouth several times. “But… why?”

>She shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno seemed like a good idea at the time. It’s too bad I could only have one made up, but I did have a lot of copy-cookies made to look like her. Want one?”

>“Ooh! Ohh!” Crumble jumped up and down, pointing at Anon. “I want him to try me out! I’m sweet and delicious andtotallyworth it!”

>Pinkie smiled at Anon before leaning over, raising a hoof over her mouth. “Come on, just do it for her real quick, please? Nopony else had the courage to try it and it’s breaking her sugary heart she can’t get anyone to nibble on her!” She went back to sitting at her stand, a wide smile beaming off of her.

>The other two ponies gave him reluctant looks as Anon, with some hesitation, picked up the sapient treat.

>It let out a giggle, “That tickles!” She continued to giggle as Anon slowly opened his mouth, taking a bite of it. “Ooh, you went for my behind! Oh yeah, chew me up real nice and good! You don’t know how good this feels with your tongue sliding against my bits! More, chew me some more!”

>Everyone stared at the gingerbread pony who was only getting more detailed with how Anon was chewing it. His face started to pale as the confectionery urged him to take another bite.

>“…I wasn’t aware you could rewire an animation spell for it to feel it being eaten,” Twilight said.

>“Or that it could enjoy it,” Lyra added.

>“Hehehehe…” Pinkie nervously chuckled. “Ah, thank goodness there’s only one Crumble around?”
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>>34954560
>Placing the cookie back down, Anon slowly started to walk away from the group.

>“Hey!” the cookie squeaked out. “Where are you going?!”

>Anon continued to walk away.

>“I still got so much more for you to chew on! Don’t you wanna try out my hind legs? Or what about my neck! I bet that’ll feel real interesting!”

>He maintained his walk from the cookie.

>“Oh?! Hey, my tooshie is regrowing itself! Hey come back, you can munch on it once more! Won’t that make you excited for another session with me?!”

>His walking didn’t stop for the cookie’s wants.

>Walking away from the traumatizing situation, Lyra and Twilight led him toward the school building.
>It was a quaint little thing, reminding him of some old photos his great grandparents shared of their time in school.

>“Okay, I already talked to Cheerilee and she’s going to introduce you to the class today,” Lyra said, standing outside the front door. “We’re a bit early but it should be fine. Just wait here until we come back with the go-ahead to bring you in. All you have to do is introduce yourself and answer a few questions to them before we head back.”

>Anon waited outside with Twilight as Lyra went in to talk to the teacher. It didn’t take long for her to return, motioning for them to come in.
>Walking inside, Anon could hear the gasps of the small ponies that couldn't hide their curiosity.
>He only recognized the three little fillies from his previous stay at Applejacks, all three giving him waves.

>“See, told you he was real,” Sweetie Belle said, head raised high.
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>>34954563
>Standing in front of the class, Cheerilee gave him a nervous smile. She coughed, staring back at the class.

>“Class, today I have a very special guest for you all. So please treat…” The teacher whispered to Lyra. She returned an expressionless face before whispering back. “…Him with respect. This is a being from another world, an alien, so he is still not accustomed to us or our world.” The class ooh’s and aah’s at what she had said.

>Twilight sat behind the desk that was to Anon’s side, pen and pad in front of her, ready to write anything down that could be of use.
>Lyra sat beside her, mimicking Twilight’s actions. Coughing into his hand, Anon cleared his throat.

“I am named Anon. I… come from a world called Earth that… contains only humans, which is what I am. We are the only spe-cies on our planet that is sapient.”

>He continued to state off facts about him and his planet, keeping it short and simple so his jaw wouldn’t cramp up from having to swirl his tongue around to speak so much.
>The little ponies seemed to eat up whatever it was he had to say. Anon was surprised to see them so well behaved, expecting them to be more unruly.
>After he had finished, he started to answer a few questions for them. Most of them were fairly simple to answer.

>“How are you supposed to do anything without magic?” a unicorn he had picked asked. Feeling the glares from the non-unicorns on him, he looked around, realizing his mistake. “I, uh… I mean most of what we have needs either magic or is black rock powered. How are you able to do that without magic?”

‘Black rocks?’ Anon took a moment to realize they must have meant coal. ‘Lyra did mention that they used it in very small amounts. Not enough to impact their world.’
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>>34954567
“We use el-ec-tricity,” he answered. The foreign word was returned with questioning stares and a very hard look from Twilight who was interested in this subject. “You call it lightning. We use lighting and make it do many things.” Anon rubbed his jaw, starting to feel the soreness set it. His tongue was feeling heavy as well, not used to long talks.

>“And just how is lighting supposed to do anything at all?” a pony with a tiara asked. “It’s hard to control and overpowers anything it connects to.”

>Of course, it wasn’t a very widely used source of energy. Anon looked at Lyra who understood what it could do. Vinyl was a perfect example of what was possible with it.

“We humans have taken lightning and found means… to contain it and work for us. We convert natural energy… to num-erous tasks, from creating images of mass com-ple-xity with but a button… mass-produce items... have all our me-dia di-rectly… ported to us with only a screen the size of a choco-late bar… and so much more.”

>He saw Twilight raise a hoof, “How do you get the lighting to be portable? I remember you saying it needed something called a bah-taurie .”

“Those are… energy con-tainers that store che-mical energy. It is then trans-formed into el-ec-tricity that powers a de-vice.”

>Lyra rose her hoof. “What kind of devices? Do you mean like that music box of yours?”

>Twilight’s eyes widened. “He only showed me his pen. He has more items with him right now?”

“It… is dead. Needs char-ging to work. Maybe, in the future.” Anon turned back to the class. “El-ec-tricity allows us to do many things… You may have magic, but we have in-ge-nuity, to do what-ever we please… should we put our mind to it.”
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>>34954572
>He started to explain a few items of interest to the class, from cars to planes to video games, explaining concepts like phones to how a satellite worked.
>It was mind-blowing for them to hear how an entire people could accomplish so much without magic. It’s certainly made them more aware of what was possible in the world.
>Lyra and Twilight were scribbling everything he had to say, while also slipping in a question or two whenever they could.
>By the time they had left, the class had sparkles in their eyes, clearly inspired by his talks. He wondered if it would have effects on the future what he had done that day.
>By the time they returned to Lyra’s it was starting to get dark. Twilight had forgotten about her talks with Anon, her mind filled with things of fancy from his world.

>Lyra walked up to where they were sitting in the living room, placing a kettle and cups on the table before serving them. She took a seat next to Anon on the couch, sipping on her tea gently.

>“So Anon, tomorrow we’ll officially go out and try to look for a job. Did you see anything that appealed to you?”

He held his tea in his hands, thinking about the question. “I… didn’t see much. Maybe something… tomorrow will appear.”

>The more he looked, the more it seemed he’d have to work some kind of retail job. He hadn’t done anything like that since high school.
>Surely the ponies would be less terrible to deal with than groups of hostile parents, trying to order meals while their spastic children ran off the walls.

>“There has to be something you saw in town that you felt comfortable working in,” Twilight said. “What about that environment job you had, couldn’t that work beside a florist?”
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>>34954575
>“His world and our world are completely different from how their environments work. I even have trouble trying to fathom just how different it is without magic guiding them to grow luscious fruits or keeping everything alive. Can you imagine having to grow plants purely on sunlight and dirt?”

>Twilight placed her tea down in thought. “Ah, reminds me of a book I read a while back about an incident over eight hundred years ago. Princess Celestia was out of commission and the sun was gone for two whole years, left on the other side of the planet. It was a bad time for that to happen, as a lot of unicorns started to get lazy thinking she could do all the work, and got lax in their training.”

>“And now we have ‘The Magical Learning Conscription’ laws in place as a result.”

>Twilight nodded her head. “And I’m in the camp that we are better with them enforced to this day. If we had trained unicorns around during that period, they’d at least be able to move it around slowly over time.”

“Wait,” Anon started. “Two years… no sun? Would that not… kill plants with no sun?”

>“Quite a few plants, but many survived with the aid of unicorns supplying arrays that they had to keep supplying their magic to, helping keep things afloat.”

>"They managed to place arrays around the known lands close by, and by amplifying its effects, wrapped the world around to provide the energy needed for the plants to live. We even have them to this day, though many are forgotten and lost out in the wilderness."

“My world… would coll-apse in less than a year… without the sun.”

>The amount of work to keep any plants alive with electric lights, enough to sustain people to live, would be astronomical.
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>>34954579
>“Okay, we’re getting off-topic. So your profession isn’t all that useful here.” He felt a stab in his gut from Twilight’s remark. “Maybe you could try and recreate some of the workings of your world you keep mentioning? I’m certain the princess will allow a grant for you to start up a business if you ask.”

>“The princess wants him to take a job in town, with other ponies. She took the funds away from us regarding Anon. I don’t think she’ll turn around and give them back if she’s working with you.”

>“Maybe it can be considered a future job once he’s settled in. What do we have him do for the time being that he’d be good at?”

>Anon didn’t know the answer to that. Retail wouldn’t work; trying to make a sale to any of the ponies would end up in failure.
>He was not savvy enough to sell anything to foreign beings. He could probably try and pick up a trade, but would anyone be willing to teach him a profession?

>Lyra had been writing on her pad, reading it over a few times. “So we just need to find you a job you can do!” Lyra exclaimed. “You should be able to do sosomethingon this list and later on we can figure things out for you.”

>Taking the list, he read over some of the jobs she wrote down: Farmhand, shopkeeper, masseuse, food maker, inventor, and so on.

“…It will have to do.”

>It wasn’t like there was much he could do. He knew that at some point he would need to support himself in this world.
>The princesses all but demanded it, after all. And if he wound up disliking his work, he could always look for another at some point.
>>
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>>34954581
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>For the rest of that night, Twilight and Lyra had talked to Anon about narrowing things down he could make a career out of.
>Or at least, use it as a temporary job. Lyra had thought she had some ideas, but with Anon’s skepticism, it took a while for them to find things to help accommodate him.
>Twilight steered things toward the idea of recreating items, constantly reminding the two that he could simply work for someone that manufactures things, or who could finance his business as a partner like Filthy Rich; Anon simply agreed to look into it at a later date in time.
>When Bon Bon came back that night, Lyra had told her everything that happened and asked her to tag along in the morning.
>While Lyra did want her friend’s help, she also just wanted the two to be friendlier with one another.
>There was something… wrong with their friendship and the minty unicorn wasn’t sure how to help push things in a positive note.
>She saw little things here and there, the small glares from Bon Bon, or how she’d try to find ways to make plans to be away when he was around.
>It was unfortunate when Bon Bon had declined, saying she needed to make and sell more stock.
>Still, she held out hope for the two to have an everlasting friendship. Lyra just felt the two needed more time with one another to make things work out.
>The next day, she had packed a quick meal to eat on the go in the morning, hoping to move things in a hurry to introduce him as places started to open up.

‘It’s a good thing Twilight couldn’t make it,’ her inner voice chimed in. ‘Too busy with all the work Anon gave her.’

>She nodded her head in agreement. With Twilight bugging him about his lightning projects, all he had to do was remind her that his pen was powered by the thing and she ran off to go and collect it for studies.
>>
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>>34954589
“Anon, hurry up,” she whined. “We have to leave before everypony starts the day!”

>“Alright, Lyra,” he grumbled, walking toward the door with her.

>Grabbing her bag, Lyra set a trot down to Applejack’s farm. Not that she had any intentions for him to get a job there, what with him disliking that idea quite fervently. The carrot farm though seemed like a good place for him to start.
>His hands were perfect to help gather all the carrots from the ground, which should speed up the workload. That, and both her and Carrot Top were pretty good friends back in the academy.
>It didn’t take long to get to the apple family farm. She could already see Applejack and Big Mac bucking apples. Upon noticing her, Applejack stopped, walking over.

>“Well howdy there, Lyra,” Applejack greeted with a nod. “What’s gotcha comin’ out here this early in the day?”

“I’m just heading up to Carrot Top’s farm to ask her some questions.”

>Applejack flinched hearing that. Lyra raised an eyebrow in confusion. She knew they were cousins and didn’t have any problems as far as she was aware.

>“I reckon I best come along wit’ ya up there, just to make sure nothin’ goes wrong.”

“…Okay then.”

>Nodding, Applejack lead Lyra in the opposite direction that was needed, Lyra slowly following confused.

“Applejack? Why are you going this way?”

>“I figured a scenic route would be good. Get some fresh air, stretch out our legs.”

“No, Applejack. I can’t just be gallivanting around right now.”

>“It’ll still lead ya up to the farm wit but a bare moment to take a stroll through the Everfree.”

“What?” Lyra paused, quickly turning around. “I don’t want to go through that forest if I can help it at all!”

>Lyra started back toward the road leading to the carrot farm. Applejack ran up to her, a forced smile and sweat dripping off her forehead.
>>
>>34954592
>“How ‘bout I go get her and you talk down at my farm? We can get some tea made up and we can make a day of it”

“I need to talk to her about him getting a job with her up at her farm It would make no sense for me to bring her here to discuss that”

>“W, Why not have him work here? There’s no reason to go up there and ask is there?”

“I want to work with him and I think he’d do better with her I just don’t have time to—”

>Something collided with Lyras head making her wobble around Shaking her head from the dizziness she looked at what had hit her
>It was an apple. Somepony had thrown an apple at her! Looking around for the culprit responsible for it she immediately spotted something very familiar to her

“I thought Twilight was supposed to get rid of that thing!” Lyra yelped dodging another apple

>“And she said she couldn’t because she’d feel bad for destroyin a sapient being like that!” Applejack dodged one, holding a hoof to keep her hat on. “It was stuck with intelligence for so long she didn’t think it was morally right to take it away!”

‘I don’t want to deal with Twilight’s stupid experiments.’They continued walking down the road dodging the apples thrown their way. ‘Stupid Twilight, stupid tree’

>“I say, I say, you must let out and praise the sun for its glorious luminosity that is descended unto us!”

“WE DON’T WANT WHAT YOU’RE SELLING!” they said in tandem An apple was lobbed at them.

>“I speak, I speak, do you not feel the basking glow of the light dancing upon you beings that which wraps us in its everlasting glow?”

“SAY IT TO SOMEONE THAT CARES!” they spat back in unison. More apples were chucked at them

>“I cry, I cry, it is a glow that caresses your body to grow in its ever candescent aura of luminous power that it grants each and every one of its followers!”

“GO FOLLOW IT DOWN A HILL!” they yelled together. A horde of apples was thrown at them
>>
>>34954599
>“Make a run for it!” Applejack screamed as the tree continued its hail of apples.

>By the time they made it to Carrot Top’s farm, they both felt battered and bruised from the apples.
>Pulling one stuck on her horn, she shuddered at the weird feeling, throwing it to the side. Spotting the pony she was there for, Lyra immediately walked up to her.

>“Well hey there, Lyra! I haven’t seen you in a while!” Carrot Top said in her very feminine and attractive voice that Lyra was quite jealous of.

>Honestly, everyone was jealous of such a mare. She had the perfect amount of sultry and country rolled into one package.
>A fantastic coat that was always in perfect shape, her hair that never had a bad day, and the way she always played so innocent in everything she did.

‘At least you have better ears than her,’ her thoughts spoke out.

‘True, true.’

‘And a terrific looking tail. Why you just have awesome all over you.’

‘While I agree, it’s just no match for her voice.’

‘Can’t argue with you on that one.’
>>
>>34954602
>Carrot Top waved a hoof in front of Lyra’s face to get her attention. “Are you okay? You were zoning out pretty hard there.”

>“We had an unfortunate run-in with the tree down the road and got battered pretty well,” Applejack put out.

>“Little Ol’ Barker? I don’t know about that, he’s always been so nice to me!” The other two mumble to themselves, clearly not convinced. “What have you two been up to? Is there something you need help with?”

“I’m just here to see if you can help my good friend Anon here a job! He was having difficulty finding work and I thought with his hands, he’d have an easy time grabbing all those carrots of yours.”

>“That sounds mighty fine of you to help your friend, making sure he’s taken care of and all.” She looked around Lyra before giving her a questioning look. “So where exactly is this friend of yours?”

“He’s right—”

>Lyra looked behind her, Applejack being the only being behind her.

‘...Where’s Anon?’

>The unicorn took a moment to think to herself, trying to place where he might be. Back at the tree? Maybe the apple farm?
>Then, realization struck her.

“He’s back at the house!”
>>
>>34954604
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~One Hour Before~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

“Hello?”

>Anon was currently standing outside the house, looking around for Lyra. He had gone back inside for but a few seconds to grab some resumes he had made, thinking they’d help him with his job search.
>And now she was nowhere in sight.

‘She wouldn’t have left me alone, would she?’ He gave it some thought. ‘No, that can’t be it. She’s likely having me explore the area to try and get a job myself.’

>Wandering around an area full of all-powerful unicorns and ponies that seem easy enough to get riled up sounded like a stupid idea.
>But he had to look around for a job. Backing down just because someone might get scared or try something felt ridiculous, as he was trying to reason.

“You can do it. It’s just some job hunting. No problems… right?”

>Walking toward the town, Anon rummaged through his sack slung across him, taking out the list that was made the night before.
>The vending stalls seemed like a good place to start for him. Unfortunately, most of them were either still uneager with the idea of being in his presence for too long or just didn’t have work for him.

>“Sorry, but I don’t really need any help working my stall.”

>“Do you have any magic capabilities?”

>“How good are your juggling skills?”

>The ones that did have positions to offer merely wanted him as a sideshow, something to attract attention to their business.
> Although, that felt a bit negative; these ponies were quite… silly at times, so perhaps it was not such a dour reason he was making it out to be.
>At the last stall, Anon saw Pinkie smiling at him, waving a hoof. The cookie was there as well, screaming at him, waving both hooves in the air energetically.
>He gave them a smile and a wave back before looking down at the list, crossing stalls completely off.
>>
>>34954606
>Skimming over the paper, he looked at where the next place for him to check out was. Sugarcube Corner stared back at him.
>Puckering his lips at the thought, that got scribbled out immediately. He liked the pony and all, but he couldn’t take all that energy around him for too long.
>Slowly walking down the street, he went over the list for the next place. Rarity’s boutique was an interesting prospect, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of making clothing for a living.
>Rarity would likely take him in if he offered the ideas he had of styles his people had, wanting to learn as much about him and his clothing in the process, even if he needed to be taught. It would be something to think about if he couldn’t find any other work.
>Sadly, he had no idea where the other stores that they had listed are. They had names on their shops, but every store in town had a medieval-styled sign with nothing but images on them.
>He saw a shop that simply had some kind of bag or suitcase on a sign on the building.
>What was that supposed to mean? Did it sell bags? Was it a travel agency? Was it just someone’s home that coincidentally had a sign out front of it?
>Deciding to check out each store one by one, he randomly chose one to walk into. He immediately ran back out from the angry stares.
>That was a shop with writing materials being sold, and they clearly didn’t want him there, still peeved about the pen situation.
>Picking another building by random choice, he soon started to cross off more things on the list when he came across something on it.
>The café couldn’t hire him due to him being too large and unable to speak clearly to the customers.
>>
>>34954610
>The flower shop was a bust, Rose and her two sisters screaming like he was about to eat them until he left the shop.
>The costume shop wasn’t able to since they had a specific dress code to wear the costumes they had each day; it would be too expensive for them to tailor costumes to his specific size and shape.
>They did confess an interest to meet him at a later date once he mentioned Lyra’s desire for a costume for him.
>The last one he just went to was another rejection, the eighth one when it came to the shops. He was really hoping for that one since he loved reading.
>The bookstore wouldn’t hire him unless he had a very good understanding of their language and literary works.
>Crossing it off the list like the others, he noticed movement in the corner of his eye. Looking over, a pony hid before running off somewhere away from him.
>Those ponies were getting pretty annoying. He didn’t bother with them seeing they only wanted to look at him. It was reasonable; he was an alien and all.
>Anon started to wish Lyra was there to help with things. Walking into another building by random, he recognized it quickly as a day spa.

‘There’s no way they’ll hire me,’ he thought, taking out his list with a sigh. Just as he was about to cross it off, someone called out to him.

>“Yes, welcome to the day spa. Is there anything I can help you with?”

>It was one of the ponies that worked there, quite obviously. He had briefly met them two days ago when Lyra took him around but never really got a chance to talk to them.
>Thinking about it, he thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask them before he crossed them off.

“I am… looking for a job. Do you have… a position?”

>The pony walked out from behind her counter, inspecting the human with a hum. “You have an interesting accent. Customers like that; they feel it is very exotic, very unique. It helps with business, you see.”
>>
>>34954612
>Anon couldn’t help but feel she was relating to him since she also seemed to have an accent herself. Still, he felt it was off to a better start than the other places.
>If he was lucky, maybe they’d hire him to clean around the place.

>“Your… what are these?” the pony asked, pointing at his hands.

“These?” He raised his hands, showing them to her. “They are my hands.” Anon wiggled his fingers in different directions, balling his hand and spreading them to show them off.

>The pony’s eyes widened seeing this. “My, my! They are dexterous things, yes?” The pony paused, turning his hands from one direction to another. “They remind me of a minotaur paw, but it has an extra digit. And so soft! They seem very special.” She felt up his hands for a second more before letting them go. “Maybe we can do with some training, putting them to a good use. Come, follow me.”

>She directed Anon to follow her to the back of the room where he saw an identical-looking pony, their coat and hair coloring reversed, who was currently cleaning the floor.

>“I just realized I have not introduced myself. I am Lotus, and this is my sister, Aloe.”

>“Ah, hello there,” Aloe greeted. “Sister, what do you bring him here for?”

>“He has an interest in work and his hands look capable of many wondrous things.”

>“Oh?”

>Lotus walked up to her sister, whispering something into her ear. The sister whispered back, keeping their conversation to themselves.
>They would gesture toward his hands, clearly interested in them. Nodding to one another, they turned to Anon.
>The two ponies directed him to another room, this one filled with spa equipment and bodyboards. Aloe went over to a drawer, grabbing some books while Lotus had him sit down in a chair.
>>
>>34954618
>“We will worry about other species in a future topic but for now we feel you could be of a great service to us,” Lotus said with a smile. “Some learning back at your home will help speed up the process, yes?”

>“And as of right now, we have a way to help you with some on the job experience,” Aloe said with a matching smile. “A few hours back we had a volunteer to help ease you into things. She should be arriving any moment now!”

>Anon did not like the sound of that. Just who would volunteer for a massage from a beginner?

>A ding could be heard at the entrance of the spa. “Ah, that may be the volunteer right now!” Lotus said.

>He was not feeling up to practicing on a live subject so soon.

‘What if I hurt them? Or something goes wrong?’

>Before he could protest, Lotus placed a hoof on his arm, staring directly into his eyes.

>“I can see you are very nervous, Anon. But I am certain you can do this. Some things may go wrong, but we are to be there and help things go as smoothly as possible.”

>Anon thought about what she had said. On a positive note, he would likely have a job after doing this. The negative, he could really mess up a pony doing this…

>Aloe came back to the room he was in with a very familiar pony that he most assuredly did not want to see there.

>“Why, Anon! What a surprise seeing you here,” Rarity spoke with surprise.

>He was now screaming in his head, asking why he was in such a situation.
>>
>>34954624
>“That is who you are volunteering for,” Lotus said.

>Rarity looked very uncomfortable hearing that. “Lotus… Aloe… I’m not exactly certain that this is such a good idea.”

>“But Rarity,” Aloe spoke up, “you said you would help us with our problem here. You do not even have a need to pay for our services! Anondesperatelyneeds help if we are to get him to work here. Can’t your generosity extend to him for his training?”

>Rarity froze with those words, staring off into nothing. Slowly turning to Anon, her right eye twitched, teeth clenched together. “I… I suppose I can help…” she forced out.

>Rarity was moved to a body table, laying down onto it with her legs on either end. Lotus lead Anon over to Rarity who looked quite nervous.

>“Now, do as we precisely say, okay?” Lotus ordered as she and her sister stood on his sides, watching him closely. “Try to remember what we had taught you. We will come in should we need to.”

>Anon may be a fast learner, but this was certainly too much for the first day!
>Looking down at Rarity, he saw she was having difficulty relaxing. Thinking to himself, he wanted to get this over with without hurting his friend.

‘Right. So what’s the first thing I should do?’ He gave it some thought. ‘Can’t forget the importance of cleanliness.’

>Going over to a sink, he lathered them thoroughly before rinsing them off. Drying his hands, Lotus pointed to the oils, reminding him what was next.

“Rarity… do you have… pre-ference in oil?” Anon asked, walking over to the shelf.

>“…The jasmine oil from last week was quite pleasant,” she answered in a hesitant voice.

>Grabbing the bottle, he brought it over to the table sitting beside the massage table. Anon applied a good amount on his hands swirling it around in them and adding some heat through the friction.
>>
>>34954626
“Is there a… place you would like, me to start?” he asked, staring down at her.

>“Just a simple massage will do, Anon.”

>It was pretty obvious she wanted to get this done and over with. Standing over Rarity’s head, he made sure to remember what the spa ponies told him.
>They helped guide him in what was needed in the massage, showing him how to help soothe Rarity’s stiffness in different areas.
>From kneading her body to how much pressure was needed, to what areas he should pay attention to when examining the body.
>The two made sure he worked on her shoulders, identifying the stress built up.
>Lotus and Aloe did a back and forth conversation, talking about how her work in making clothing was the likely culprit while they attempted to talk to her.
>Anon realized they were helping calm her with the simple conversation, something they had brought up earlier.
>The ordeal wasn’t as bad as Anon thought it would be, but he still didn’t like how they jumped into having him immediately using live subjects.
>He was surprised to have Rarity being as cooperative as she was not too long into the massage. Amazingly so, in fact; it seemed she was enjoying it the further he worked on her.
>Before he knew it, Lotus stopped him, saying he was done with her massage. Rarity was barely awake, nodding in and out during the last part of his work.

>“Oh my. For a first time massage, you have performed admirably. I am almost afraid to see what would happen should you improve on your techniques.”
>>
>>34954629
>“Not that we should, as it only benefits us that he does improve!”

Anon was already cleaning his hands, wiping it off with a towel. “So do I… have a job?”

>“Of course you do! It would be madness not to offer you a position here at our establishment.”

>“We’ll even pay you a bonus for today’s work.”

“That… is not needed.” He didn’t want to come off like he was swayed by bits the first day on the job. He needed to set some standards, after all. “I am fine with nothing for now.”

>“No, no, no, no, no. We must pay you as it is only fair for all the work we’ll have your training and performing on today.”

He paused, replaying her words in his head. “There is… more?”

>“Why, yes! After relaying some of Rarity’s-” Lotus looked at Rarity’s unconscious form, “-relaxed disposition, it has intrigued a few that have come in. We have others that have accepted a free massage from training.”

>“More training is always a great thing, is it not?”
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>>34954631
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>It was after the seventh pony that came in that Anon was given the day off from his training. They had thanked him for all his work, saying the word should spread quite quickly to everyone’s enjoyment of his massaging.
>They were going to sell it off as some kind of human-secret techniques he was using; complete and utter crap, but they thought the intrigue alone would get customers in the door.
>Aloe told him the basics of what to expect working there: He was to get paid at the end of every week, he needed to keep his workspace clean and tidy every day, the work hours, and a few other things.
>He asked for some of the books to help improve on his work when he got back at Lyra’s. Aloe seemed impressed at his willingness to better himself, happy to give him an old book that described things like pressure points and magical lines on a body.
>Walking inside Lyra’s house, he closed the door just as something slammed into his gut. He fell to the ground with Lyra on top of him, holding his waist in a tight hug.

>“WHERE WERE YOU?!” she cried out.

>He found it difficult to reply, what with the air knocked out of him.
>Lyra continued to hold him to the ground, hugging him tightly, squishing her face into his chest while avoiding poking him with her horn.
>Once he regained his breath, he slid himself up so he was sitting.
>Lyra held on to him.
>So he forced himself to stand up, hoping she would let go.
>Nope, she’s only holding onto him tighter, dangling from his waist.
>Walking to the couch, Anon took a seat before peeling her off, placing the pony beside him.
>>
>>34954636
>“Where were you?!” Lyra repeated. “I couldn’t find you anywhere out in town! Bon Bon said she hadn’t seen you either so she and Applejack had me stay here in case you came back!”

“I walked outside in… the morning and did not see you. I thought… you wanted me to look… on my own since you were not there.”

>“Oh, I… well, buck.” Lyra sat there, red in the face from embarrassment.

>She then jumped into his lap for another hug, profusely apologizing for leaving him behind. He pulled Lyra off once more, sitting her beside him.

>“So did you find any work in town?” she asked.

“I went to all the stalls and no one was hiring. Most shops… did not want or need me. It took a while… but I found work.”

>“Really?” She jumped into his lap once more, staring up at him. “Who’re you going to work for now?”

“I start my training tomorrow at the spa.”

>“You workthere?!” She seemed surprised. “But, they only hire the best they can find!”

‘Or someone with fingers.’

>He started to explain how his day went up until the spa, going into detail what exactly they had him do there.
>Showing the books in his bag, he told her about how they were going to train him to do specialized massaging from how it seemed.

>“Um, Anon… would you mind giving me a massage?” A blush formed on her face. “I um, well, I mean I could help you with learning.”

>Lyra did appear stressed. He thought he might be able to help with that. And he could use the extra training for his work.

“Sure,” he answered with a nod. “There is… much I need to learn for work.”
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>>34954640
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~Canterlot~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

>Princess Luna was currently inside her sister’s study room, looking over some documents. Celestia had to attend another meeting with the guards, leaving her alone to herself for once.
>Luna had told her she needed to look over her own guard’s papers alone in a private manner in the study. She wasn’t sure but she had a feeling she was being watched by her own guards.
>Not that they couldn’t be trusted, but why should she take the chance, she reasoned.
>Luna had just gotten done looking through the list of employed guards she had, seeing if there were any patterns from the traitorous guards she could discern, thinking it could be used to find more of their flock.
>Her sister hadn’t even begun combing through their guards for potential enemies, leaving it up to Luna to look into matters.
>Sending the ones under suspicion to areas she could watch them for signs have already picked up a few more to place in the dungeons.
>Having her most trusted guards spread around the area could also pick up the slack that was Celestia’s own guards, running haggard with the troubles of the day on top of the ‘resistance’ ponies as they started calling them.
>>
>>34954643
>Her efforts were already paying off. Her guards had informed her that the resistance ponies, were starting to appear in Ponyville.
>It worried her to read that report, but it was more worrying to see that none of them had made any movements there at all.
>They were complacent with doing nothing and keeping out of sight. Princess Luna was curious if they’re now focusing on the Elements for some reason.
>It seemed the most likely of reasons, after all.
>Thinking about Ponyville, she recalled a certain mare that she was definitely going to see next week.
>Luna was certain that she could deal with the problem that her sister did not have the heart in stopping.
>Celestia was being too soft with her, she felt. Unfortunately, she was forbidden by her from making any contact with the scenario without a proper reason.
>But she was going to Ponyville for Nightmare Night this year. Who was to say if she didn’t mistakenly bump into them during her time there? And who was to say what may come of it?
>>
>>34954552
>>34954653
>“Should have… patented those.”
Wow, that's aggravating if they are suddenly extremely popular and he gets nothing for them, the world still runs on bits after all.
The pens alone should give him more than enough money to not have to find a job.
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>>34954747
I kept thinking about this over and over, even back when I originally wrote this down. I'm not sure if ponies have a real patent system over there. I mean they can make things that is theirs, but there's nothing stopping anyone from making their own version of a product.

Although I think they have copyright laws for things like books, but nothing on patents. I know, weird. That's how I've always seen this.

I also see reasoning to such things, making monopolies almost nonexistent and allowing better competitive practices. Just because someone makes the pen, doesn't mean you can't do better, or different. A patent would prevent that though.

If anything, Anon could invest in his own "Human" industries, as in, making the products and advertising them as uniquely his and no one can do it better, giving him a major boost in sales. I could totally see a really good AiE story based off a concept like this.
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>>34954843
One of the many, many pitfalls writers fall into is trying to apply logical rules to something that runs on lighthearted comedy rules. With how much of the show is waved away with "That doesn't matter", you have to imagine copyright law would go the same.
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>>34954624
>“A few hours back we had a volunteer to help ease you into things. She should be arriving any moment now!”
What did they need a volunteer for a few hours ago? As far as I can tell it's been less than an hour since Anon expressed an interest in being employed at the spa.
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>>34954857
True, but going by that, a lot of stories wouldn't be made if we stuck with their initial rules. For me, having it so they didn't have patents allows some fun with Anon turning into a masseuse. Otherwise, yes, Anon could likely make stupid amounts of bits just trying to recreate his people's works. Hence the comment I made about a good story based off just that, Anon remaking his people's works and selling them to others.

>>34954893
Going to the previous post, lighthearted comedy rules, I keep that with the ponies quite a bit if possible. The way I see it, Aloe and Lotus really want to keep Anon around as an employee and want to show they are serious about it. On top of which, to see his natural talents.
>>
>Day 2168 in Equestria
>You are Anonymous.
>You're on trial.
>You're also tied to a stake in the middle of a bunch of wooden furniture.
>Your crime?.
>Being a witch. Duh.
>Witch accusations apparently have a 100% conviction rate in Equestria, hence why they've foregone the courthouse in favor of just doing the trial while you're on the stake.
>A beige unicorn holds in it's telekinesis a lit torch near the base of the pyre, ready to enact justice at a moments notice.
>You're not terribly concerned, but you do need to stall for a bit of time.
>Your bindings were done by an earth pony, so they're absolute garbage, but you can't just untie yourself and run for the hills.
>Not yet, anyway.
>Pegasi begin hauling stormclouds into the sky above, providing a foreboding atmosphere.
>Before you stands a multicolored crowd of ponies that will serve as your jury.
>Being the only human in Equestria, a true jury of your peers is alas an impossibility.
>The judge, a portly earth pony stallion with a garish chartreuse coat and a mane thinning atop his head, addresses you from behind a raised desk off to one side.
>"Anonymous the Human-"
"Just Anonymous is fine"
>"Just Anonymous-"
"No, I mean my name is Anonymous. No titles necessary."
>"Anonymous, you stand here today accused-"
"On second thought, keep the title. Anonymous the Human sounds a bit regal, doesn't it? Rather neat, I say."
>The judge glares at you.
>"Anonymous."
>He pointedly omits the requested title.
>"You stand here today accused of the most heinous crime under Equestrian law."
>You use the time afforded to you by the dramatic pause to roll your eyes.
>"Witchcraft!'
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>>34955747

>Shocked gasps emanate through the crowd, as though the crime you were accused of was not already immediately obvious before the statement affirming it.
"Are you fucksticks dense? What the fuck else would I be accused of that would warrant us to be having a trial out here of all places, with me tied to a fucking stake?"
>You struggle against your bindings to emphasize your point.
>Silence from the ponies.
>"As I was saying, you are accused of witchcraft. How do you plead?"
"I'wasn'me."
>More silence.
"Pardon. I plead not guilty, your honor."
>"Well, that's a shame. I was hoping to have this sorted and you burnt to ashes by lunch time."
>Murmurs from the crowd. Seems the jury is stacked against you.
"I appreciate the impartiality, your honor."
>"At any rate, what say you in your defense?"
"I say this whole affair is fucking dumb."
>Another shocked gasp from the audience.
"No, really. Whole thing. Fucking dumb."
>And yet another shocked gasp.
>You crane your neck around to see if there's a giant sign like those [APPLAUSE] ones, only it says [GASP], but you can't find one.
>"Would you care to elaborate, Anonymous?"
"Boy, would I!"
>"Yes, Anonymous. That's what I'm asking. Would you?"
"Wasn't asking a question, numbnuts. Anyway, where to begin?"
>You think for a moment, figuring out exactly where to start with this whole fucking ordeal.
"For starters, I'm a human. I can't do magic."
>The judge pauses for a moment.
>"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm fucking sure you moron. You think if I could do magic I'd be bumming about doing shit with my own two hands? I'd be telekinesing shit left right and center, all day every day. I'd be teleporting fucking everywhere. I'd be teleporting the fuck outta here."
>"That's just speculation, Anonymous."
"Well no shit it's speculation you dopey prick. It's a hypothesis based on a hypothetical. The fact that you acknowledge it's speculation just proves my point."
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>>34955751

>A cough from the back.
"You know I'm right."
>You glance down at the unicorn levitating a torch, ready to incinerate you at any moment.
"And how is witchcraft illegal in the first place? Like almost a solid half of the ponies here today- Thanks for showing up, by the way -are unicorns."
>"Your point?"
"Magic! Right there! What the fuck's the difference between what a unicorn does and witchcraft?"
>"Unicorn magic is different."
"How so?"
>"It just is. I wouldn't expect a witch to understand."
"Not a witch."
>"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
>"You turned me into a newt."
"I didn't. You've never been a newt."
>"And how would you know if you weren't a witch, hmm? QED, you're a witch."
"Ah. Pardon. My mistake, then. I -don't believe- you've ever been a newt."
>"Still a witch."
"No, I'm not."
>God you despise the Equestrian justice system.
>You eye the sky. Baring a few holes, soon to be patched, the sky is a near uniform field of depressing gray.
>The greatly dimmed sunlight provides a melancholic cast over proceedings.
"At any rate, I can't be a witch. I don't possess the correct equipment."
>The crowd, and the judge, all cock their heads in unison.
>Fucking creepy is what it is.
>"What do you mean?"
"Witches are, like, definitionally female. I have a dick. It doesn't work."
>"Maybe it doesn't work where you're from, but we here in Equestria are progressive. You can be female if you want to, we aren't going to stop you."
"But I don't want to be a girl. I want to be a dude."
>"Why'd you become a witch, then?"
>You mutter under your breath.
"Jesus fuck-me-dead Christ it's like talking to a brick wall with you horses."
>You take a deep breath.
>And let it out.
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>>34955753

"So, aside from using magic, which I can't, and being a chick, which I'm not, in what way am I supposed to be a witch?"
>"Well, you weigh less than a duck."
"The fuck?"
>"You weigh less than a duck."
"I don't. I weigh like a hundred times more than a duck. One of you bastards put me up here, you should know."
>You briefly consider if you can jam a henway joke in here somewhere, but you can't see an opening for it.
>"Aren't you going to ask how weighing more than a duck disqualifies you from being a witch?"
"No, we have Monty Python where I'm from, too. I figured you might go for the duck thing after you accused me of turning you into a newt."
>"Ah. I see. You're still a witch."
"No I'm not."
>"Yes you are."
"No I'm not"
>"Yes you are."
"This isn't an argument, this is just contradiction!"
>"What?"
"Oh. Does your Monty Python not do that skit?"
>"Our Monty Python is a massive serpent that lives in the forest. It shows you three boxes, lets you choose one, then opens an empty box and asks if you'd like to switch."
"Uhh-"
>"If you pick the right box, you get unimaginable riches, just piles and piles of gold and magical stuff. If you pick the wrong box, it eats you."
"And where does the duck thing come into it?"
>"The Monty Python said that's a fundamental trait of witches when we asked it. Then it ate one of us."
"Why were you asking a giant fucking snake about witches?"
>"Well, consorting with serpents is another thing that makes you a witch, so we figured we'd ask one to see what the hubbub was about."
"But asking the snake about witches doesn't make you a witch?"
>"Oh, it definitely does. After the ponies we sent to ask it came back and told us, we burnt them at the stake, too."
>You eye the sky once more, and figure your time has come.
>Time to blow this popsicle stand.
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>>34955755

"So, what's the verdict? Guilty? Not guilty?"
>"Well, for performing witchcraft-"
"I can't."
>"-being female-"
"I'm not."
>"-weighing less than a duck-"
"I don't."
>"-and consorting with serpents-"
"... That's fair."
>"-we find you guilty of being a witch and sentence you to death by burning at the stake."
>Just then, it starts to sprinkle with rain.
>A few drops at first, then a few more.
>Then a few bucketfuls.
>Then the rain really kicks into gear, and starts a torrential downpour.
>Right on time, the pegasi have started the thunderstorm you read about in the paper this morning.
>One good thing about this technicolor horse nightmare is that weather predictions are universally accurate.
>The torch held by the pyromaniac unicorn by your side sputters out entirely.
>Both you and the pile of wooden furniture you're standing on are completely soaked through.
>The judge and jury scatter for shelter, leaving you high and dry, so to speak.
>You undo the trash knots holding you to the stake, and stumble down the pile of furniture to the nice, stable ground.
"You'd think you dumbass horses would bother to check the weather forecast before trying to burn someone alive."
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>>34955758
I was going to post the little update I had for my green but I'm really enjoying this. I really love the monty hall reference and tying it in with a literal monty python.
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>>34955761
The bit about the fathomless riches also makes it a Monty Haul
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>>34955762
Ah yes of course. We have montys on top of montys in this green.

Welp. Time to post my long awaited update to end this hiatus. I meant to post it yesterday buuuut 18 hours of flying really just makes you want to take an 18 hour nap.
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>>34955769
>You are Princess Luna.
>Princess of the night. Co-ruler of Equestria.
>And you feel like your head was about to split open.
>You began rubbing your temples with your hooves and tried your best to open your eyes.
>Dry mucus caked your eye lids. Making it just a little more difficult to open them.
>It didn’t help that you felt as though all of the magic and life had been sucked out of you.
>You haven’t felt like this since awaking after your thousand year slumber in your moon.
>Rubbing out all of those eye boogers, you let your eyes get accustomed to the light in the room around you.
>Well, what little of it there was anyways.
>The room you were in was...well, it looked abandoned.
>A strange rectangle in the ceiling of the room was giving off a very faint life source, though it seemed to go out and come back in small flashes.
>You got the feeling it wasn’t supposed to do that.
>The walls had porcelain tiling and the ground you lie on is wet and clammy.
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>>34955771
>Looking closer you could see taps coming from the walls.
>The ceiling appeared moist, black splotches of mold were…
>Oh...oh heavens.
“Hrk!”
>By the maker. It just hit you like a slab of marble.
>The dank musk and decay invaded your nostrils. The hint of the mold was light, but just enough to make it a thousand times worse than what it would have been.
“Oh good graces, what in...hrk!”
>Aaaaand you just emptied your stomach on the floor.
>Now was probably a good time to get up and figure out where in the hay you were.
>Maybe a towel to wipe off any vomit that may have gotten onto you.
>The shower area seemed communal. Something you’d see in a locker room.
>Upon exiting the shower area, you find that a locker room is exactly where you were.
>Lockers lined the walls, though they were stacked to heights far taller than it’d be expected for a pony to use.
>Looking at the place, it seemed to be slightly big for any sort of locker room.
>Even if you were in Cloudsdale where Pegasi could just hover up to reach, the taps, faucets, and benches all seemed to be out of place.
>Hay, the room was slightly bigger than for a mare your size.
>Okay okay.
>Enough of sizing up the room.
>Where were you? Like, exactly?
>Yea duh, you were in a locker room. But why?
>Oh! You remember now. You must be inside of Anon’s journal.
>Why would it send you here?
>Some smelly locker room where the benches are rotten, the lockers bent in and rusted, some of their doors fallen off, and mold infesting the ceiling?
>You remember Anonymous warning you of this place being terrifying, and of Twilight also having been here. She didn’t seem to have a very pleasant experience either.
“I suppose...I will just have to find a way out of here?”
>Good...idea?
>Better than nothing, and it gives you a goal to work towards.
>You really should’ve asked Anonymous more about the book.
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>>34955772
>But he was already VERY adamant you not even open it.
>And when you freed Twilight Sparkle she was adamant that you HAD to go through the book to help him.
>Given her distressed state and injuries, she really didn’t appear to be able to give any more details than what she did give out.
>You make your way through the rows of lockers and happen upon a small room.
>It appeared to be an office with a little desk inside.
>Probably where an instructor or coach would sit.
>The light inside was far brighter and a lot more stable.
>You pushed the rotting door open slightly and took a few steps inside.
>The walls had writing on them.
>”OPEN YOURSELF UP!”
>Smeared in...was that?
>You sniffed the air.
>Please don’t let it be what you thought it was.
>You got a little closer to the lettering and sniffed one more time.
“Oh by the maker that’s...Hrk!”
>You caught the vomit in your throat and managed to swallow it back down.
>Yep...feces.
>Someone took their dung...and smeared that message on the wall.
>What in the heavens pushed someone to do that?
>As cryptic and strange as the message was, it really didn’t help you.
>Though you’d stick a pin in that and remember it for later.
>You looked over the desk to find something that could help you.
>A long and black cylinder that seemed to stretch in a conic shape at the end.
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>>34955773
>The chair behind the desk had a satchel draped over the back.
“How convenient.”
>You threw the satchel on and tighten the strap so it’d fit snug around your lower neck and barrel.
“This should prove useful in my journey. As for THIS strange object.”
>You look over the odd wand device and find a switch near the base.
>Switching it on caused light to flash out the end.
“This...should prove VERY useful in my journey.”
>You switched off the torch and placed it in the satchel.
>You didn’t need it quite yet, being princess of the night had it’s perks which included better visibility in the dark.
>Though assuming the luminosity of the environment you find your self in now is anything to go off of. You don’t think it’s going to get any brighter.
>Leaving the office you notice a small hallway that was close to the door.
>A small, and dark hallway. With a small cage in the wall that seemed to be holding cones, exercise equipment, and various balls for sport in it.
>Yep, it probably won’t get much brighter from here on.
>At the end of the hallway was a door that had a sign saying ‘exit’ on it though, and that’s what you needed.
>You walk down and pull the handle.
>Locked.
>Moonrocks. There was probably a key back in the-
>”You horse bitches don’t let up do you?”
“AH!”
>You back into the wall of the corridor opposite of the source of the strange voice.
>Which was the cage.
“Who’s there! We demand you to identify yourself!”
>Having a mini-heart attack and having your back against a wall is no reason to NOT be authoritative to a strange voice coming from the darkness.
>Oddly enough not your first time.
>”I’m assuming you already know me...sort of.”
>Wait. You did recognize that voice.
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>>34955775
>You squint into the darkness and see the vague shape of…
“A-Anonymous! Is that you in there?”
>”The last one asked the same question. I hope you don’t get as excited when I give you the same answer.”
“There is no need to be cryptic. I know that voice!”
>The dark figure inched his way closer into the soft light coming from down the hall way.
>He...looked like Anonymous.
>Though his normally white hoodie was gray and covered in stains.
>It looks like he hasn’t shaved in days, which was odd given the fact Anonymous usually kept himself clean shaven.
>And he was wearing...uh.
“Anonymous? Why are you wearing a blindfold? And why the crosses on them?”
>Anonymous furrowed his brow.
>”I’m not going to answer a stupid question like that.”
>You cocked your neck back slightly.
>What? Why was he acting so rude?
>Were you two not close friends?
>Your last memory with him was him fearing for your safety if you recall correctly.
“Anonymous there is no need to be abrasive. I’m sure we can help each other. I see that the cage is locked, maybe there’s a key in th-”
>”I don’t need YOUR help with the cage.”
“Oh?”
>”I don’t need your help with MY problems either.”
”What? I don’t think I understand. You allowed me to read your journal. I did not force my way in like Twilight. Though please understand when she did so she was only doing it out of love for a friend.”
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