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>>34297066FIRST FOR BEST PRINCESS.
>>34297077>Cadence confirmed second bestGuess it's time for Celly to have a kid Anon.
>Konami code>Xbox controller>>34297081>Cadence gets to be the cool aunt who lets him pig out on pizza and set him up on playdates with Flurry.I'm okay with this.
>>34297081a dozen foals
>>34297098>>Konami code>>Xbox controller>Implying Implicit ImplicationsMercenaries was the bomb, my man.
>>34297066who is the greatest mare-foal of them all?
>tfw no werewolf snuggles>tfw when you fall asleep the whole pack is on top of you>tfw one of the braver girls has the back of your head pressed against her belly>tfw you can't get up without all of them awoooooing>tfw trying to get a shower it a nightmare
>>34297295>MercenariesOh no you didn't, didn't you oh no?
>>34297432Just mention 'bathtime' and watch them all scatter.
>>34297432This is how the puppers get the hose I swear, and then they wonder why you have to use the cold water hose. Merely point at the VERY expensive plumber bill for all the clogged drains, damn these dogs.
>>34297432>tfw no licking, play-biting, and smooching>tfw no laying on top of them, pinning them to the floor>tfw no hugging them even if they start to howl and try to wiggle away
>>34297457>>34297446>>34297432>as the only non-werewolf in the pack, Anon eventually becomes the group’s designated ‘dog trainer’>he keeps them from doing the stupid shit their canine instincts tell them to do>he stops them from chasing the mailman>he stops them from chasing cats>he stops them from putting their heads out the side of moving cars>he makes them take baths when they all stink, and then unclogs the drain>many in the pack call him a killjoy, but their neighbors no longer constantly complain about them so they figure he must be doing something right
>>34297528They live in a giant mansion on the edge of town, what neighbors could they possibly have that would be close enough to complain about their behavior?Are they like the Adams Family, and they have a stuffy old fuddy duddy official of some kind who lives nearby and is mildly inconvenienced by them occasionally?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwmZo7iFUIA
>>34297528>he stops them from putting their heads out the side of moving carsNow that's just excessive.
>>34297528FUCK that's cute
>>34297594It's for their own safety, don't want them ending up like that thot that caught a roadsign with her face.
>>34297659Is that what happened? I figured she was just part bulldog.
>>34297659eugh, yeah saw that on /gif/ not too long ago.Granted she was hanging her whole body out the window and the dude wasn't watching where he was driving but I can see your point.She was apparently 23 as well even though she looked like she was at the wall already.Well I suppose she did meet a wall in some form.
>>34297674>>34297659>>34297672Do I want to know the details?
>>34297432>dem tiddies>DEM. TIDDIES.
>>34297072I love the idea that ponk is willing to go along with whatever stupid bullshit anon is up to so long as it's for a laugh and its not completely at someone elses expense. Ponk needs moar love, mang.
>>34297688Her face is so flat she had to get "FRONT" tattooed on her forehead.She's like a brick. She's flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.Her face is so flat, she gets jealous when her boyfriend turns a doorknob.Her face is so flat they call her "Carpenter's Dream," because it's flat as a board and she's easy to nail.Are you SURE you wanted to know about this?
>>34297709I think my imagination can fill in the gaps.
>>34297688Blown out chick was acting a fool, sticking her whole, almost completely naked body out a car window going highway speeds.Neither she, or the guy driving/recording were paying attention to what they were doing and got a little too close to the curb where a pole was and smacked the thot right out of her.Consequentially, this also resulted in a terminal case of death.
>>34297703She'd be the best second in command memer.
>>34297719wtf is in the center panel?
>>34297740You didn't watch the movie?
>>34297757that doesn't help
>>34297696i prefer mine on a mare but hey to each their ownhttps://derpicdn.net/img/2016/11/10/1292593/full.jpeg
>>34297766This should clear it up
>>34297709I want to know the details. I found some news stories with still images, but I'm curious about the gif. I checked /gif/, but couldn't find a threat up on it.
>>34297775>>34297772nope still don't know
>>34297783I am told it was something like this.
>>34297773Jesus. Mare could nurse five herds worth of foals by herself.
>>34297783see>>34297717for contextThe vid is here, happened a while ago.https://www.liveleak.com/view?t=kni1N_1524917238>>34297787I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can do for you.Maybe you should watch the movie.
>>34297855Thanks for the link.>spoonfeedingHey, I looked up the mentioned sources and looked at several other sources from my own searches. At that point, it's legitimate to ask.
>>34297837>celestia is often seen as a beacon of fertility in equestria and beyond>in reality it is the antisocial younger sister that possesses the true "broodmare" body>wide, swaying hips to distract the eye and bear foals easily>large swinging teats just begging to be nursed from by her children or a passionate lover>powerful thighs and glutes to ensure bearing pregnancy is effortless and ensuring said pregnancy is thorough>despite having a body that most mares would die for the lunar princess is terribly embarrased and self-conscious of her figure, often locking herself away to complete her nightly duties in privacyi know what you're thinking. you should be ashamed of yourself>yet when an inattentive Luna trips over an also inattentive Anon sending both down a small flight of stairs she finds herself in one of her worst nightmares with herself on her back and anon somehow with his face between her thighs in her ample cleavage>without thinking she teleports straight back to her quarters wondering how the hell she will ever again be able to show her face to the one being that talks to her on an equal footing"Hey Luna the next time you teleport us somewhere could you give me a heads up?">freezing in place she realizes that she accidentally brought anon along when she teleported, depositing the human on the floor some feet away"Hey Luna are you OK? ... Luna?">you are Anon and you need to figure out how to rouse your friend from her stupor. she wasn't always this red was she?i did thing
>>34297933How clueless are you playing Anon here, cuz I was already aiming for the whole he's going to check her forehead routine and the poor lunar princess is going to wind up being teased as her pale moon turns blood red from how emberassed she has become.
>>34297945>checking her forehead>getting in close enough to share breathYeah, he's definitely teasing her or is the densest guy in equestria.
>>34297945i dunno. just meant for this to be a semi-lewd oneshot that could go either full lewd or slow burn it into comfy (hue). i wouldn't object if someone else took it from here
>>34297886I literally googled"girl dies sticking her head out of window liveleak"first link was the videoI'd only seen it on /gif/ but it wasn't that hard to find elsewhereno news site is gonna post titties and death on their page thoughIts okay, you know how to get gore related stuff now, and got a free belly full of dead thot pellets to boot.Teach a man to fish and all that.
>>34297955And I literally searched for "girl sticks head out of car and gets hit by sign".You knew to search for LiveLeak. I didn't know about that video site beforehand.
>>34297959You'd think there'd be no real problems with highway signs or sticking your head out the window of a carriage or a train in equestria, right? I mean, even the trains there seem to move slowly. Pegasi seem to regularly fly faster than that, and they crash into stuff with no real issue most of the time.
>>34297959>>34297965>>34297955>>34297717>>34297855Linking due to obvious NSFW and poor taste: https://i.4cdn.org/pol/1567849458874.jpg
>>34297959You didn't know about liveleak?I'd call you new but links don't exactly get posted to /mlp/ for obvious reasonsDamn son, they got all the good shit, its kinda like 4chan where you have to sift through shit to find the nuggets but it's the place to go if a wrekt thread isn't up on /gif/ and you wanna see some fucked up shit.
>>34297970>You didn't know about liveleak?I knew about it, but I only go there when I come across a direct link to it on a forum, or when I'm doing some kind of research on it. I never considered bookmarking it or including it as a separate place to start looking things up.I got curious about this particular situation because it was a really odd mix of several mistakes that are almost too stupid to believe. People getting injured is not something I regularly watch.As far as oldfag cred goes, I've been here on and off since before /tg/, though nowadays, /mlp/ is my home board.>>34297969Not gonna lie, I had a giggle at that.>>34297975Dodogama?
>>34297945and to directly answer your question i was thinking not anime protagonist dense, but not "always sex all the time" either.maybe he's on the same page and a embarrased about getting into luna's personal space like that and trying to pretend it didn't happen?
>>34297965I donno, that girl got hit by the equivalent of five juiced up Barry Bonds all swinging one bat at her noggin.I don't think cartoon physics would help her that much.She might not die, but that's potato damage for sure.
>>34298001Well like I said, you got it in your bandolier now for fucked up shit you can't find anywhere else.Like shootings, bombs, beheadings, millitary mishaps and what not.>Dodogama?Yes, he is the best chunky monster and I refuse to kill him.
>>34298058>When you knew that hanging out with literal magic girls was going to shorten your lifespan.
>>34298123Oh god these things are fucking terrifying. That guy did one with GPS too. Fake emergency broadcasts are spooky too.
>>34298105>>34298112>when the portal opens but its the nightmare timeline
>>34298123>>34298126This makes me wanna grab my guns and shoot at aliens and the moon.Comfy.
>>34298123I got to about 1:40 through the video. I'm gonna wait until tomorrow before finishing the video. after reading what >>34298126 said, I think I'd rather get a bit of sleep tonight.
>>34298180they hide in the shadowssleep makes you vulnerable
>>34298153>On earth, you could only get your occult portal tuned to RGREqG, and not canon Equestria like you wanted.>You groan and silently wish for something less gay>Get monkey pawed in the worst way as you hop through.>You end up in RGREqG, de-aged to a teen and with a Canterlot High acceptance letter in your back pocket as expected, but...>It looks like Starswirl was an even bigger asshole in this universe. He dumped all sorts of things across the portal he didn't want to deal with.>Canterlot is a hotbed of supernatural and paranormal activity, and it's not hammy B movie shit either.>You resolve to buy a gun from someone who wont ask questions, adorn it with holy symbols, maybe get it blessed, and keep it in your school bag.>You know you'll need it. >After that, get in touch with the occult community here and gauge how bad things are.>From how you fell into the world only to instantly get an anomalous phone alert about the moonlight having a death condition, it's probably bad.>Then maybe after that you can enjoy some thirsty girls.>Maybe.
>>34297066>it's an anon sells jars of his gamercolt bathwater to thirsty, lonely mare neets episode
>>34298287Anon, there are some depths not even *we* would sink to.
>>34298253Bascially it's just that SCP game all over again? Or whatever LBP was writing with the Sunset werewolf bit I guess?
>>34298294Huh? I am bathing, just not too often.
>>34298126I wish I got one of those creepy reports when I go for a night walk. I can't wait for something fun to happen.
>>34298126The GPS was creepier than any of the rest of them. Contigency was kinda weak though.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh09uIN6tl0
>>34298328Is that mechanic used anywhere outside TES?
>>34298352Something similar was implemented in Alien Isolation: https://youtu.be/zm6gTyHKZ0Ahttps://youtu.be/vI-x9pFOzRwAnd I think I remember an old King's Quest game where if you tried to rest outside without a fire or something you could get killed in your sleep.
>>34298352Baldur's Gate did.Not only you couldn't sleep with monster nearby, but even once asleep there was a chance for the game to interrupt it and spawn a group of mobs on you.Gave you some small incentive to prefer sleeping in an actual Inn.
>Celestia and Luna's cutie marks can affect the sun and moon respectively>The moon has had red hand marks on it for the past week
>>34298253>Anon actually bought a super soaker filled with holy water
>>34297457if RGRE ayys are in canterlot do they turn weak like real girls or do they keep their stronk?
>>34298378The random encounter table knows who you are and where you sleep
>>34298287Didn't somebody run tests on the contents of that water, and it turned out it wasn't even her bath water? It was just plain tap water without any contaminants that you'd expect from bath water, even from a clean person: zero skin cells. I mean, thank god, it made a lot of things that people did with the water a lot less gross.
This is your equestria
>>34298875Minus the half-futa thing, could be.
>>34298875Don't forget these pseudopenises not only lack any rigidity to be a penis, cause the hyena pain when forcibly used as such, but also often rip open when giving birth, which risks the mothers death... well, I think they'd rather not have it.
>>34298954>not having a sheath The absolute state of hyenas
>>34298958Only spotted ones.
>>34298105>>34298112>>34298123What are some examples of spooky stories in RGREquestria?
Probablt gonna get REEE'd by a sect of the thread, but does anyone remember those oneshots like a year and a half ago about Anon who had been transformed into an Alicorn but just preferred to live a relaxed life. I remember people talking about a him just chilling for eternity in a comfy beach house while the princesses tried to find him, since hes the only male alicorn.I dunno, just thought about those threads for some reason today. I can't even remember how it ended up being a TF thing now, fuck I wish someone would just record every piece of green that went up on here, so much lost.
>>34298415No, it's a fucking gun, to use against actual fucking demons and horrors.
>>34299054>But who was letter>Hoof hook on carriage spokes>All the stallions become mares
>>34299058Pretty sure it was just>Anon in equestria>Spawned in as an alicorn>Didnt want to deal with any mary sue type bullshit or anything to do with the show shenangians.>Fucked off to pony hawaii and told the natives to just leave him alone.>There was a weather pony fuck-up which caused a huge tidal wave / storm and mainland equestria hadn't heard of any disturbance from the island.>Celestia went to check it out herself and found everything SOMEHOW okay and everypony being cagey about the reasons since it would mean outing Anon.>Alicorn-Anon hiding from her while she investigates.I somewhat remember him hiding underneath an upturned boat, or he was sunbathing and she didnt see his wings or something?Wish it continued since it was less TF and more "Male alicorn in RGRE doesnt want to deal with bullshit."
>>34299054>the day the apples turned into pears
>>34299101I remember one last part that started some flashback scenario where it was hinted that it was the reason Anon stopped wanting any responsibility.
>>34299058>>34299101Not that Anon. I liked it too. I didn't consider it TF either and I wish it had continued and been binned.
>>34299106but anon, she is already pear shaped.
>>34299101I remember that. It was fun, even though there were only two or three updates.
>>34299135FUCK those thighs
>>34299135>Inform Applejack of this>She goes into catatonic shock
>>34299173>>34299128>>34299101>>34299114Huh. More people remember that short then expected. Cool that I didn't get REEEd at as well
>>34299248Dude, I'm willing to bet that the ones REEEEing that it was TF or some bullshit like that were just a small handful of faggots. I'm just sad the story didn't continue.
>>34299248TF only get's reeed at if it's fetish focused or TG shit.There are people dislike "Anon but horse" but they generally just ignore that shit in the same way the majority that dislike the humanised shit ignore those particular greens.
>>34299255Yeah ditto. No promises but maybe in 6 to 12 working months I might have something
>Applejack is a terrible liar>Any time she tries to blatantly tell a mistruth, her body language (and habit of babbling) gives her away>Applejack finds out that she can get around this by using euphemisms>It's not a lie, and it's hardly her fault if somepony doesn't interpret what she says as a euphemism.>"Applejack, why are you so tired? I thought you just had a cider with Anon last night?"
>>34299273Sweet, when you start posting it again, please have a link to the bin of the start of it all.>>34299270Honestly, there are like 1-2 uber-autists who REEEE anytime there's any non-human anon, fetish or not.
>>34299286>Honestly, there are like 1-2 uber-autists who REEEE anytime there's any non-human anon, fetish or not.I like to call him Frankie.
>>34299227Well, I mean, if I could.
>So, Anon i heard you like bad girls~?>Well, you`re going to looo~oove me, then.>because i`m bad at everything.
>>34299096>>All the stallions become maresI wonder if that's a real concern, or at least sensational fear, what with their limited number of males?>something something, non-equestrian nation tries to solve the gender gap via magic>it goes wrong, turning all the stallions into mares>chaos ensues, souring the idea of magic to the vast majority of their population>but magic's really fucking useful, and turns what used to be a small nation with its own niche into basically a third-world hellhole with little to no relevence on the global scale>something something RGRE
>>34299378[Insert edgy teen mare]
>>34299378Oh god I wanna hug that horse.
>>34299378>You see those words on the screen appear in your chat client.>A brief moment late, the words click and your disbelief suddenly turns to laughter.>Even in the midst of your mirth, you can see in your mind Moondancer slamming her head into her desk, questioning why she even sent that pick up line.>It takes a moment for you to collect yourself but you begin to type your reply:"Hey Moonie, that was terrible, but that move just earned you a date. Wanna meet up later today and you can tell me some more of your favorite bad pick up lines?"
>>34299244Her momma *was* a Pear after all.
>>34299378>YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. >lucky for you, I'm into that
>>34299463>There's no such thing as an apple-bottom in Equestria>Apples are generally bigger and stronger than most earth ponies, but that's half genetics and half a life time of working on a farm.>That said, they're still proportional to their size>Pears are a different matter>Pear mares tend to gather muscle (and a bit of fat) in their rumps more than anywhere else>They have naturally wide hips and thick, muscly thighs>And when Anon starts to notice mares, he is very much aware that Applejack's ma was a PearMare or woman, I would fuck Applejack until my penis fell off.
>Applejack hears about how Anon is interested in her>Humble being that she is, she brushes it off>"Ah'm just a simple apple farmer. If'fin that colt wants a romantic whirlwind, he's better off with a citymare like Rarity.">Has a harder time brushing it off when she learns that Anon also lusts heavily after her ass>Stallions (at least properly raised stallions) don't often say that sort of thing out loud>"M-Maybe Ah'm free this evening..."
>Pegasi tend to have more delicate hooves than unicorns and earth ponies>They spend so much time flying that their hooves have no chance or reason to harden up, nor does the skin on their frogs get any opportunity to toughen>And nopony spends more time in the air than Rainbow Dash, meaning that she has incredibly sensitive hooves>What started out as you teasing her and batting at her hooves while she coasted in the air next to you lead to her sitting on your lap, shuddering as you massaged her hooves>Of course, she begs you not to tell anyone about this>Nobody can learn about her delicate, sensitive hoofs!>It's downright unmarely.
>>34299846Puts a bit of a new spin on this pic
>>34299846>>34300033>Making your marely warrior race pegasi cum herself from lightly touching her hooves.wew
Slow day today.
>>34300522>kinda muskyFucking diamonds.
>>34300522>no mention of big fat tits>no mention of pronounced, needy nipples
>>34300546All the better to mash your face into, my dear.>>34300555All the better to suck on until the only noises she can make are gasps and whimpers, my dear.
>>34300556>The entire room smells lightly of musk and sweat>You and Midnight have been at this since she got home from school>She invited you up to her bedroom to listen to some music, but that changed very quickly.>Right now, you've got your face buried between her legs; massaging one of her big fat teats in one hand, and lavishing attention onto the other one with your mouth.>"A-Anon!">Midnight Flower paws at the back of your head weakly, having worn herself out half an hour ago.>"Stoppit! D-Dad and moms'll b-be home soon!">She's taking deep, heaving breaths, and her chest rises and falls like she's filling a great big balloon with her breath.>You're rather preoccupied with the nipple in your mouth right now, all while making sure that the other one doesn't get lonely without any attention.>You aren't sure what Midnight enjoys more; your mouth, or your fingers.>"I'm gonna... j-just from my teats?!">You switch teats and give Midnight's other nipple a contemplative suck as you wonder what, exactly, she's going to do just from her te->"OHFUCKNONONONONO-">Midnight's frame goes completely stiff.>She curls up around your head as all the muscles in her stomach CLENCH at once.>The hooves that were pawing at your head wrap around it as she holds you in place.>You aren't sure, but the vibrations coming from your left make you think her back leg is kicking.>Midnight Flower lets out a groan like a wounded buffalo, and the bedsheets around her rump (as well as your shirt and chest) darkens as sprays it with her juices.>Midnight flops away from you and lands on her back, legs spread out lifelessly.>Her rear leg kicks weakly, making her enticing set of big, fat teats jiggle just a little bit.>You feel an injection of pride at the sight of your silly teenaged marefriend; she's completely spent.>"OhLuna'sMoonIloveyousomuch..."
>>34300615>You feel an injection of pride at the sight of your silly teenaged marefriend; she's completely spent.Well, that makes the job of having to bathe her much easier.
>>34300625kek"Okay.">You stand up, doing your best to ignore how sore your knees are.>Note to self: bring kneepads next time you foalsit this filly."NOW will you take a bath?">Despite being nearly half-asleep at this point (what stallions say about mares is true; as soon as they're done having sex, they just roll over and fall asleep), Midnight Flower still manages to shake her heard 'no' and moan miserably.>"Don't need a bath... it's n-not even a school night...">A few seconds later, Midnight begins to snore.>What is even with this filly and baths?>With a shake of your head, you scoop her up into your arms and carefully pad your way over to the bathroom.>There's a lukewarm squish against your chest, and you look down."Oh, right.">She came all over you.>As long as she doesn't wake up, you can make sure she won't reek of sex before her parents get home.>Maybe you'll be able to get these sheets washed while you're at it.>Your shirt, too.
>>34300639>>34300615I love these Midnight Flower stories.
>>34299135>RGRE-KND>Applebloom, codename: Numbah 7500, must try and foil the dastardly plans of her teenaged siblings>and if that weren't bad enough, intelligence reports have it that the Teenagers are rolling out a new set of Battle Ready Armor, designed for their rare male operatives>and of course, her brother seems to be one of the primary testers for this new model>now it's up to her and her fellow agents 7501 and 7502 (known as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle off duty), to protect the children of sector PONE
>Anonpone in RGRE>He's a pegasus but has no idea how to fly, can barely walk, and doesn't understand pony body language>Confused, alone, and scared, he runs into a seemingly nice mare>She lets him stay the night since it's starting to snow>Robs him>Anonpone wakes up the next morning in a cloud ditch outside of Cloudsdale>He ends up being the distant, lowkey homeless bf of a sunhat-tipping, manega-reading zebra mare with braces who loves his mysterious and bitter brand of whimsy>Anonpone, still trying to figure out the world, gets fucked by it like Cozy Glow did>The only ponies he ever manages to run into are bitter marecels and catty stallions>He goes into Sugarcube Corner when Ms. Cake's dick husband is in the front>"Who'd you lick to get these bits?""Just gimme the fucking bagels.">Anonpone tries to get a job, no one wants to hire a stallion with a blank flank>Porno filmers really don't want the legal issues of a blank flank>Guards harass Anonpone and try to get sex from him>Manages to start a position on the weather team once he learns to fly>Gets fired for having unpreened wings, "We all need to look our best, it's all about presentation.">Zizi finally figures out Anonpone is homeless when she comes into an argument between him and Mr. Cake>She's a bit of a sperg and isn't sure how to offer help in a tense situation
>>34300995kekKND, eh? Never thought I would anyone else had a similar mindset of an RGRE and maybe RGREqG KND idea.Instead of Kids Next Door, wouldn't it be Foals Next Door? Kinda of makes sense but probably not.
>tfw Twilight took your virginity >tfw she spent a whole weekend slowly, lovingly teaching you the lewd arts>tfw you pressed your face against her tuft, screamed her name, all of that corny shit>tfw Twilight left you in her bed, covered in cum and exhausted, just like in her horse mangas>tfw she can't tell her friends, since it was a sweet, honest, intimate moment the two of you shared and she doesn't want to ruin that by bragging>tfw she wants to>tfw she REALLY wants to>tfw she can't though; she was raised better than that>tfw she just has to keep her mouth shut about everything>especially when you spent hours just licking her pussy and rump and teats>hours>stallions weren't even SUPPOSED to do oral and you were!>tfw sometimes she wishes she weren't such a gentlemare
>>34297098>Be Cadence.>You got your Faust nephew Anon jr visiting.>Faust Aunt Celestia is... going through something right now.>The anniversary of Jr's father disappearing.>Poor Jr never even got to know Anon, as soon as Celestia went into labor there was a burst of magic and he was gone.>The best guess you got is he went back to earth, but that doesn't matter right now.>You've got a faust nephew to spoil!>You made a alicorn/human favorite!"PEETZER!">"Yay!" Jr calls out in joy.>You here some panicked running of hooves slipping on crystal as Flurry tries to get down stairs as fast as possible.>"I'll order out dear don't worry about a salad!" Shining calls."Alright, thanks love~">You place the two peetzers on the table.>Buffalo Chicken and a pepperoni.>Jr is happily sitting at the table doing a lil dance.>Flurry comes in and takes her seat, hair a bit frizzled from the rush.>Jr seems to notice and has a lil blush as she sits next to him."Hmm?">What's that smell?>"Hey Jr, didn't know you were visiting. I would have put aside my project for a bit lil guy. How are you?" Flurry happily ask unaware of his blush.>That taste.>"I-I'm good. Thank you." He ask with a little stutter.>That FEELING.>"That's good the hear. Let's get eating.">You know it."Puppy love.">You mumble to your self.>"What was that mom?" Flurry ask."Nothing dear, let's get eating!"I'm a bit tipsy and got no idea what I'm doing sorry.
>>34299309I do it too but only when it gets really bad and out there. I liked popped and tropical alicorn.
https://pastebin.com/Kh7H0Pr5Speaking of a horsie Anon.More Artemis Anon.
>>34301463>Day return of madness in Equestria.>This isn't wonderland and you aren't Alice.>Be Artemis (Anon), the wayward Prince of Equestria.>Strange events have been going on around Ponyville.>”Lunch break!”“Ms. Hooves, I know you like shouting that, but I asked you a serious question.”>Derpy tries on a serious face.“Tradition must be upheld, can't have break without loudly proclaiming your joy.”“Oh? Some mares think I should be in the kitchen cooking. Is that the tradition you're ok with?”>She leans back in her chair, sweat drops forming on her brow.>The mischievous smile on your face puts her at ease.>”I have heard from Twilight that you are a good cook.”“Excellent even. Now that I have your attention. Ms. Hooves, do I scare ponies? I’ve had my anger get the best of me a few times in public. It has been on my mind when I talk to others during and outside work.”>Derpy waves her hoof at you nonchalant like.>”Don’t worry about it. I heard one pony call you something like an ice prince. Which was silly cause the other mare said that was hot. Then she said ‘Too soon dear.’ So ponies like you.”>Not exactly what you were asking.“Physical attraction is one thing. Wish I wasn’t known for a common character trait found in a picture book.”>”Artemis.”>She just said your name, crude she’s in serious mother mode.>”I’ve known you for a while now, and I do consider you a friend. You have to see that you are not like other ponies. My little filly likes to put her drawings of you on the fridge now.”>Aw, little Dinky is making adorable pictures of you.>Makes you want to sneak a peek.1/17
>>34301469>”You are a pretty private pony, so you don’t have a wide social group. Doesn’t change how important you are to everypony.”“Still doesn’t change the fact that if I get upset the weather moves and the earth shakes.”>Ms. Hooves gives you a perplexed look.>Right, not really a mindset ponies would have.>Mostly a human thing.>”Well I guess you might worry about that, but you are pretty responsible. I think you only been upset maybe two times.”>Maybe the conflict is just mostly in you, trying to balance a pony/human mindset.“Maybe that is just how I am, I was a rather lonely pony all those centuries ago.”>Derpy blows bubbles into her drink as she listens.>”I’m not sure how you could be lonely. You see a lot of ponies in the dream world.”>Pausing a moment, you resist puffing your cheeks out.“You? What!? How do you remember that?”>Derpy nods her head rapidly.>”Sure do. Not often a stallion visits you in your dreams.”>Head meets table as you groan.“I went on a nightmare patrol last few night. Guess I'm still amateurish with my approach.”>The ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’ from Ms. Hooves tells you how impressed she is.>”Wow, that's really neat. So you control the moon and dreams.”>A human would be furious if they found out you were playing in their mind.>”Guess that’s why I didn’t have any nightmares. Princey, thanks.”“Yeah, I was patrolling a small sample size, Ponyville. Mostly focusing on foals given how simple they can be, but you were close by after visiting Dinky.”>Ms. Hooves gasps with a wide grin.>”You saved my little filly from a nightmare? Prince, you give yourself so little credit.”2/17
>>34301472>”My turn to ask a super serious question!”>Ms. Hooves almost slams her hooves on the table, but is stopped short by the disapproving glare of the waiter.>So with a light tap, she continues.>”Have you seen all the strange stuff going on in town?”>Oh no, those three fillies better not be up to something again.“I’ve been in the office this morning, just came out to have lunch with you before I start my run.”>With shifty eyes, Derpy looks around.>”I’ve seen strange stuff like pink clouds and strange animals. It started outside town, but it has slowly gotten worse.”>Pink clouds?“Haven’t seen anything like that. Could you describe them?”>”Really sticky stuff, almost like cotton candy. The animals are all long legged weirdos.”>That sounds really strange.>Is Twilight trying out some spells that have gone horribly wrong?>Wouldn’t be the first time a wizard messed up reality.“I would have to see it for myself, or perhaps Twilight needs to be told. She can handle a magical mishap.”>Ms. Hooves nods with stern approval, like a courtroom had passed down an acceptable verdict.>”Good idea. Probably something from the Everfree Forest. All kinds of strange stuff live there.”>You sip your tea, you decide to stop playing around and actually order your meal.>Before you wave the waiter over you feel something.>The familiar is yanked from you.>Everything spins, but you sit still.>A pit falls in your stomach, a headache blooms in your mind.>Squinting tightly, you try to focus on the cause.>Ringing ears fade, but you don’t open your eyes.>It’s cold.>No, that’s wrong.>The sun isn’t as warm.>Opening your eyes, you see it is night.>You remember when this happened before.“Discord.”3/17
>>34301476>Ponies around you talk to each other with worried voices.>Some look to you.>Ms. Hooves is understandably confused.>”Did the sun just disappear? Wait, it’s back again!”>Shaking away the shock to your system you get up.>Does your sister know, she must.>Can you even do anything about this?>Only the Elements of Harmony can stop Discord.“We’re in trouble. Everypony I need you to remain calm. I fear a villain has appeared in Canterlot.”>Then you hear it, the laugh that makes your hair stand on end.>”Yes. Yes. Remain calm, what a pedestrian announcement.”>Discord floats overhead with an upside down umbrella.>He is wearing what you can assume is a poor cosplay of Betelgeuse, if he knew who that was.“Well, you’re up again. I suppose we didn’t stone you hard enough. Did being a stool for pigeons not suit you?>What are you doing!?>Don’t try to antagonize him.>His eyes widen, but his grin doesn’t vanish.>”My my, what a sharp tongue. You are much more interesting than your sister.”>Maybe you can contain this for just a little while until the heroines arrive.“If you say anything about lashing you with it I’ll choke you with your tail.”>His fingers come up, and snap.>A house turns into a screaming blob of lime jello, thankfully no one is home.>”Threats and erotic promises. You’ve changed since I’ve been gone.”>”Um, Artemis, who is this?”>Ms. Hooves has scooted closer to you, in fact, all the ponies at this restaurant is hiding behind you.>A lot of misplaced faith right now.“This stitched together ragdoll is what universe likes to call a mistake. Behold the fool, Discord.”>Where is this coming from!?>Is your human side more volatile in his presence?4/17
>>34301480>Another snap, and abominations now dance down the street.>”Behold the true ruler of Equestria, I am Discord the Magnificent. The Disharmony of Melodies. Don’t let our little pony prince get you so confused. You’ll see how great everything will be.”>Bubbles rise from the dirt walkways like dish soap.>Discord wears a cardboard crown proclaiming his title vocally.>The fingers rise once more, directed to the ponies around you.>Not this time, counterspell you bastard.>He looks slightly surprised, snaps a few more times with little result.>While he is far stronger than you, he was always more careless and half hearted when he throws magic around.“Once again, despite your title, you are still a creature of habit. You repeat the same mistakes over and over again.”>”Habit you say? Please, I'm bringing new color to this town. And if you think I'm going to fall for that same old ‘friendship’ nonsense, believe me, I took care of them all ready. Now for these ponies.”>Crude, he’s actually going to try.>Horn lights up and they all wink away.>Discord merely laughs.>”Teleport them away? How boring and pointless.”“I was sparing them from your dull bloated wit. Your imagination amounts to vomit from a pig’s slop.”>He fiddles with his beard, studying you.>”You are very different from what I remember. Well, I'll play with you another time. Right now it's all about rubbing all of this in Twilight’s long face.”>He’s leaving?“Wait! I think that might be because of something you did.”>”Muwah?”>Discord points at himself before wagging his finger.>”Tisk, tisk little prince. I haven't laid a finger on your pretty little crown. You are not worth my time.”>Glare at him after an unimpressed eye roll.5/17
>>34301484“Make a copy of yourself. Bastard of a corpse.”>A Discord sits across the table from you reading an upside down menu written in kangaroo lingo.>”Fine. Enjoy my precious company since you begged.”>”I certainly won’t.”>”Quiet, you handsome fellow.”>Discord vanishes away, probably to go antagonize Twilight Sparkle and the others.>”Well, tell me how important I am.”>Copy Discord is eating an appetizer, looks like nachos.>Cheese sauce replaced with ketchup.“When we fought do you recall the spells you were throwing at my sister and I?”>He scratches his brain before closing his skull back up.>Then shrugs.>A hiss escapes your lips.“I might as well be beating a dead horse when talking to you.”>Discord leans back slightly before giving you the malicious grin.>”Prince. How unusually morbid of you. Now you have me curious. Spells. Spells. Let me see.”>Putting on small reading googly eye glasses, Discord opens up his autobiography ‘Discord Rules; Ponies Drools’.>Soon to be required reading under his rule.>”Right, the chapter about the annoying siblings that couldn’t keep quiet. Couldn’t let the good ol’ king rule peacefully could you two?”>Bile seems to rise inside you.>Hold it down.“Nothing you do is sustainable in anyway. Besides, an anarchist like you would appreciate a government overthrow or two.”>Discord chuckles as he snatches a crown off your head you weren’t wearing.>You think.>”Silly, Arty. I’m not an anarchist. I’m a metheist. I rule everything and everyone has to follow that, but not a bad line of thought. Here we go! Right in this paragraph, threw a few seeds, some cocoa milk, and random spells. Bad memory spell.”>Not heard of that spell, but isn’t hard to guess what it does.6/17
>>34301488“So a spell that makes me remember something horrible that happened to me?”>He shrugs and throws the book onto his plate.>Bite per bite he consumes the wretched tome.>”Well if I had to guess what my brilliant mind was running through.”>His brain sprints across the rooftops being followed by Discord’s pinkie.>”I would mess with your body, mind, and spirit. Just for fun anyway. You both were surprisingly tough. Probably had to do with those shiny rocks you found. I know you are a stallion, but chasing jewelry is shallow.”>Ignoring that statement, this just brings up more questions.“So I remember being human because how I died, but not my sister. Unless one of the Elements of Harmony gave Celestia protection. Maybe I am made different from other ponies.”>A microscope focusing on your eye breaks your thoughts.>”Human? I’ve never heard of a human before.”>Discord sticks a finger into your ear.>A electric spike fills your body as you feel Discord poking your brain.>”Lots of porn in here actually. You shouldn’t be the one walking in other’s dreams at all.”>An explosive blast blows him away.>Magic power radiates from you as you stare death at him.>Discord doesn’t look worse for wear, just very amused.“Only your ego keeps you going, if for a moment you had a single bit of reflection you’d realize that you are the equivalent of a retarded toddler fellating a shotgun. When the universe was born you were the aborted afterbirth stillborn parasitizing off existence because you have no concept of original thought.”>Discord raises a paw to object, but you stomp his limb down.“A coma rat has more lateral thinking than the neuron you call a brain.”7/17
>>34301493>A snap of chaos magic crashes on you.>Vines wrap around you, constraining your limbs.>”Humans must be very annoying, because you don’t seem to shut your trap.”>A strong bite snaps the vine around your muzzle.“Basic facts evade you. Time for a reality check. You aren’t chaotic.”>Discord flinches back like you slapped him.>Flames of rage flicker in his eyes.>”Care to run that by me again.”“You have never changed. You did this a thousand years ago and have repeated the same damn thing all over again. No imagination, the magic you use is wasted on you. You aren’t chaos. You are Order with lead paint.”>Darkness sucks you up.>A void surrounds you.>Orientation is completely gone, everything is a blur.>No air, nothing to breath or catch with your wings on.>You crash into something, head slams into the ground.>Bounce once before you settle back down.>The pain is not as intense as it should be.>Your nose smells something familiar.>Opening your eyes, you see white dust covering your muzzle.>Eyes refocus.>You are back on the moon.>Looking up you see the planet.>”Congratulations. You flipped your muzzle one too many times.”>Discord is floating above you rolling up his wrists.>”I’m going to give you a whoopin’ little prince. The moon is going to have craters of you peppering it for all time so you will never forget.”>He starts to laugh like a bellowing ox at his own joke.>This idiot had all the power to slap your face off your muzzle.>However.>”OW!”>Discord is silenced by a rock crashing into his face.“Anywhere else I wouldn’t stand a chance, but you brought me to the one place I am strongest! The Moon!”8/17
>>34301499>”I know that.”>Discord whips the moon dust off his face, he grins.>”Enguard.”>Need to throw him off, can’t let him see you coming.>A dust storm sweeps up.>Moon dust engulfs everything like a hurricane.>You hear a snap, but you aren’t where he last saw you.>Can’t tell what he just did, but you know exactly where he is.>Discord unique magical signature is hard to miss.>You can hear him taunting you.>Ignore it, don’t respond.>”Are you going to do anyt--Ow!”>Distract him by pelting more rocks.>You spy winged pigs flying overhead.>”No sign of bogies, General Discord.>”I didn't ask if you were picking your nose porkchop. Fine, I'll do it myself.”>A vacuum cleaner roars to life, and it starts to suck away your moon dust storm at an unreal rate.>Don't have long, you send your little package towards the planet.>Just survive long enough for it to come back.>”Peek-a-boo. I see you!”“Good to see that you are a skilled house-stallion. Very good cleaning skills make a mare happy someday. Shame about your personality and looks..”>Welp, you are out in the open with no defense.>Discord twirls the hose end of the vacuum.>”With all the dust you kick up, little wonder why your parents abandoned you and your sister.”>His sinister grin tells you exactly what he’s about to do to you.>You look at the cartoonishly oversized vacuum cleaner.“You missed a spot.”>”Hmm?”>You drill a sharp needle-like moon rock right into the bag.>Ducking away at the last moment, the explosion ripples your mane and tail.>Silhouetted by the dust storm once again, you hear him cough out a lung.>”Worthless organ, go wheeze elsewhere.”>The ground is melting.9/17
>>34301506>Your hooves can’t find any traction as the moon’s form starts to loose texture.>Flapping your wings, you kick up more dust that is settling faster than you can conjure up.>”I like the idea of the moon being made of cheese, hold my nachos.”>The terrain is changing, you were hoping to hold this trick for later.>Later is now.“Hey Discord, I have the thing to keep your nachos hot.”>”Oh do tell.”>Hair stands on end as he appears right next to you.>Figures that he would know exactly where you were the moment you say anything.>Stealth is difficult around him.>The moon rumbles as you exert your power.“Under pressure or under sky, crust makes my title reclassify.”>Discord snaps his fingers, iron clamps shut tight around you.>”Hmm, makes me hungry for some pie.”>A fissure cracks under his feet, the cheese flowing into the space.>Good old human knowledge, you doubt ponies know what the core of the moon or planet is made of.>Magma erupts from the canyons you magically forced into existence.>Discord screams in shock as lava ruins his day.>A teleport gets you out of your binds.>Can’t make cover anymore, you have to go on the offensive.>Laser bolts fire from your horn, pelting his blistering hide.>Discord tries to retaliate, but the blazing lava has already melted off his favorite hand.>Guess the redheaded hand will have to perform.>”Don’t mess this up or I’m putting you on clean up duty and docking your pay.”>He snaps his fingers.>A jug of ice orange juice crashes into the moon.>A sheet of ice solidifies everything, nachos and molten lava.>”Well, I think you burnt the nachos.”10/17
>>34301514“You are taking this well.”>He pulls out another hand from behind his back and starts to reattach it.>”I can always get more cheese.”“No. Me kicking your sorry tail.”>Discord frowns.>”You've thrown a lot of tricks at me, but as far as I'm concerned. Your done.”>A shadow casts you both in darkness.>”Hmm, is that a second moon over our heads?”>Looks like your best trick is up.“No, just a little package I sent around the world collecting mass and velocity. By the way, you can keep this. Too kinky.”>You slam the iron clamps he had around you earlier and tighten it around his smug mug.>A quick exertion of your power and the moon starts to move.>Your asteroid is upon you both, no time to teleport.>Form becomes like mist, just like when you were Nightmare Moon.>Red hot from the atmosphere, the asteroid hurtles towards the target.>When watching the moon from Equestria, ponies don’t really have any idea just how fast it can be moved.>Or how much the moon can be pushed.>The crater is going to be ugly, but this will be worth it.>Discord pulls off his iron clamp just in time to see impending doom.>His umbrella does not save him.>Impact is blinding.>Thrown far, your senses are completely out of whack.>Debris is everywhere.>You try to slow yourself down, avoiding rocks.>Reform into a physical form.>Behold your handiwork.“Holy bucking tartarus. At least I know what it would be like to kill the dinosaurs.”>Lava is reflowing from the crater impact.>A soft hum of your magic and you settle the dust.“Well if there ever was a proper tombstone, here you go.”>The smoldering asteroid was much smaller now.11/17
>>34301519>Now to return home.>Look at the planet, you know all you killed was a copy.>If only it was the real thing, then all this would be over.>”That.”>Everything starts to shift.>You look back, the boulder has turned over.>”Hurt!”>Can’t help but gap is awe, and take an instinctive step back.>Discord is practically the size of a kaiju snake twisting around the moon.>Third degree burns cover his body.>He is missing a horn.>One eye is swollen shut, while the other is bulging.>”You want to play tough? I’ll show you how dangerous I can be.”>His angry grinding teeth is the last thing you see as he snaps his fingers.>Reality, becomes a suggestion.>No, it has become Discord’s reality.>”I tried being nice, but you really pushed your luck. I am the spirit of chaos.”>Moon melts like a clock wax painting.>Stars smear together.>Gravity becomes a singularity, and yet pushes away every way.>”Chaos is now everything.”>Creatures you don’t recognize nor have the cognitive ability to assess dance to an unknown rhythm.>Is there a rhythm?>Madness just runs away.>Colors that would drive a mantis shrimp mad flash everywhere like a kaleidoscope.>Laughter, you can make out laughter.>Discord is laughing.>What...are you again?>Are you Discord?>Just.>Loopy.>Let it all go.>Let.>Let me take.>Control.>Who said that?>Let me take control.>You are familiar.>I’m you, but also just a part.>Confusing.>We are going to die.>???>”I said we will die if I don’t do something.>Oh, I think I know you.>Anon right?>”Our mind is completely shattered, but I’m still here. Let me control this.”>Ok.“Just sleep. This will be over.”12/17
>>34301525>Eyes become emerald green.>You see Discord looking closely at you.>”Huh. You are still here?”>No time like the present.>You boop him.“Nope. Artemis is taking a nap.”>Nothing around you makes a lot of sense.>Perfect.>Discord is wiggling his nose, slightly scrunched.>”I take it you are that human thingie.”“Sure am. I’m going to rip you to shreds.”>Discord rolls his eyes, as he pushes you away.>”Guess that’s why Artemis is so delusional. Get the picture little man, I control everything.”“Yeah, yeah, sure. You know how he likes to go on and on about being the prince of the moon and stuff.”>”Like you are now.”“So Discord, besides the moon. What else does Artemis control?”>He’s dirtying his nails, not really paying attention.>”Don’t really care. Was it pies? Probably pies given how much cake Celestia likes to eat. By the way, your sister is a horse.”>Not going to play along huh?“Dreams. He controls dreams”>”That’s nice. What about th-where did this cord come from?”>A glowing cord stretches from him to your horn.“Oh that. When I booped ya. Dreams are subconscious thoughts, feelings, and a whole lot of other junk. You’ve been trapped in stone for a thousand years. A thousand years of nightmares and terrors I now control.”>With a wing feather pointed at him like a gun.“Bang.”>Like a gorgeous watercolor painting, the subconscious explodes from Discord’s mind and fills everything.>Twisted figures of Artemis and Celestia seem to be everywhere.>Chains wrap around Discord, his appendages are frozen in stone.>You rise up, a grim representative of the void gaps with a hideous open mouth.>”No. No, no. No, no, no. I am not going to let it end like this.”13/17
>>34301527>You can’t help but laugh.“Welcome to your new reality! Everything you are is mine. Your power, your fears, and your life.”>Discord breaks out of one of his hands, and snaps.>Whatever he had intended, fails.>He’s sinking into a mire of nothing.>”How is this possible, you’re a pony? Your kind has never had this kind of mindset.”>Eyes feel dry, must have not blinked at all.>But you are having so much fun right now.>Grin hasn’t left your face.“I am not a pony. You did this to me, and now I will be your undoing. I will drag your corpse to the real Discord. I will introduce him to pain that has never been seen in this land. I will wipe all memory of your existence, you will be forgotten!”>Discord’s eyes widen.>Laughter is all around him.>He’s being mocked by unseen faces.>All of his limbs are now stone, forcing him to faceplant.>Gritting his teeth, for the first time in eons, he motivates himself.>Discord using the remaining strength to shatter the stone limbs.>Like a snake he slithers away, between stomping pony hooves.>He just needs to escape.“Why don’t we visit my nightmares.”>Then he falls over the edge.>He can’t see anything.>Feel anything.>Worse than being a stone statue.>You want him to feel oblivion, before you gift it to him.>With a crash, Discord slams into invisible ground.>Shaking off the stars, Discord grows himself new limbs.>There is nothing around him, no light.>Gravity increases rapidly, forcing him back on his belly.>”Humans must be the most annoying species.”“Oh yeah, ponies are ridiculously in harmony with each other compared to humans.”>That look of disdain on his face is delicious.14/17
>>34301530>Fate can be funny sometimes.>You were so focused on torturing this Discord, you lost track of time.>A rainbow explodes on the planet, it’s light breaking through everything.>The Elements of Harmony had been activated, those mares are moments away from breaking down Discord.“Well now.”>Discord’s eyes are wide open, and his jaw dropped to the ground.>”Well, that’s a setback. How? I won. I broke them.”>Some things never change.>He is slowly fading away, main Discord’s power is being contained.>You can feel becoming normal again.“Well, for your final thoughts. I leave you this. I’m going to find your statue, and rip your mind apart. Slowly. When Artemis is asleep, you’ll be getting visited by me.”>He turns to you, flames in his eyes and an angry growl.“Then I’ll visit ponies dreams and erase all memories of you. Turn your statue into dust, and launch that dust into a black hole. Nothing of you will exist. Ever, again.”>The maniacal laughter can’t be healthy.>Well, you have lived longer than a human probably should.>Artemis really is tougher than he thinks.>”You think you’ve won.”“Discord, anything you do now is going to be undone. I am going to kill you in every aspect. I win.”>He stares at you, thinking.>Then he lifts up his claw.>”I can think of one thing.”>Well if he wants to fight, you still have your dream control over him.>Twisting black thorny vines erupt around him, not sure what they’re about.>Discord wiggles and weaves through them.>The magic dream cord grows taunt.>Oh crude, he yanked on it.>You go flying straight at him, you pull back to resist.>Too late, he brings his hand close to your face.>Snap.15/17
>>34301076What a shitquestria
>>34301538>You are the worried, but ever regal princess of Equestria, Celestia.>For the past few hours you’ve been trying to subvert Discord in every way possible.>Give Twilight the motivation she needs to overcome him.>For your part, you have every confidence she will succeed.>Nothing is more powerful than friendship.>What you are worried about, is your brother.>For some Faust-forsaken reason, he is picking a fight with Discord.>Watching everything unfold on the moon, Artemis is throwing everything at him.>You want to help, but it would only make everything worse.>He’s defacing his own moon just to win.>Artemis, what is possessing you?>You can only watch as everything keeps escalating.>Discord’s chaotic reality has covered the moon for a while now.>”Princess Celestia, what is going on up there?”>Cadance has been by your side, trying to help as best as she can.“I don’t know, but I can only hope for the safety of Prince Artemis. I can’t lose him again.”>”Can you teleport to the moon?”“No.”>Just trust Twilight.>As if an answer for your pleas from the heavens, you feel it.>The same powerful magic that you wielded so long ago.>The chaotic magic that was corrupting everything around you evaporates like morning dew under your sun.>”Aunt Celestia! They did it! Twilight and her friends were able to stop Discord.”>A smile paints your face, close your eyes and silently thank your favorite pupil.>Now you just need to make sure everything is in order.>A snap, your hair is standing up on end.>Jerk your attention to the moon.“No.”>Like a cracked egg, a fissure runs down the moon.>Something terrible has just happened.>Think, think Celestia.>Your brother is in danger, he needs your help.16/17
>>34301543>Teleport, you need to teleport.>Better yet, move the moon closer, and then you can teleport easier.>Your horn glows, and you grab that familiar orb.>Just close enough to make two trips easy.>”Cadance, prep the medical team for my brother. I’m going to go get him.”>”Understood, Auntie.”>You can hear her hooves gallop away.>Now focus, your brother is waiting.>Eyes shoot open, you felt him just teleport.>He’s here.>Now you can relax.>”GUARDS!”>Ears pin back from the royal voice.>The voice wasn’t right, it sounded feminine.>In the throne room, you rush there as fast as you can gallop.“Artemis? Artemis!”>Turning the corner into your throne room, you halt to a stop.>Your brother is smaller, and not a stallion.>”Sister! Please, we need help. I fear Discord left us a parting gift.>On her back laid an unconscious creature.>One that you recognize.“That’s Anon the Human.”>What the buck.>”The fiend undid the spell he had, by splitting us in half. Sister, he’s not waking up.”17/17This took a while, but it was fun. See you all next time.
>>34301549Damn, son. Here's looking forward to the next part.
>>34301549And I was wondering what would happen next earlier today. Thanks for the update and fuck you for leaving us on this cliffhanger for the next time.
>>34301076Seeing as how Anon is the fairer sex in questria with him being a colt/stallion, I don't see this scenario playing out this way at all, as in there would be some kind of social program to help stallions like Anonpone here, where they would take him in and give him a place to stay and even help give him an education and all that (like with what we have here with women's shelter and all that shit) there would even be more pressure in questrian society to do just this, given with how "valuable" stallion are in questria with there being so few of them as is.
>>34301738It's the charm of shit luck. Of being a stallion but not really being of this world.Of not really belonging.
>>34301717>>34301738>>34301766Part of me wants to say Anon had it coming for being A gigantic twattish edge-lord towards Discord.
>>34301463I am excite.
>>34301785those are two different stories/prompts being talked about.
>>34301549I need to catch up on this.
>>34301549I am VERY confused right now. Why is Artemis suddenly wielding a vagina? Also this started playing on my playlist as soon as the maniacal human part of the story started, it fit pretty wellhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdvGjC5TcTk
>>34301991>I am VERY confused right now. Why is Artemis suddenly wielding a vagina?I'm a bit confused too, but it looks like, long ago, human Anonymous was merged with Luna to create Artemis.
>>34301194What a considerate mare
>>34301514>Good old human knowledge, you doubt ponies know what the core of the moon or planet is made of.>Magma erupts from the canyons you magically forced into existence.The moon has cooled down way more than Earth and only has a very deep and tiny pocket of magma left. Gonna scratch that as Equus' moon being different.
>Magic has made Anon a very long lived human, and he's been living in Equestria for roughly three generations because of it.>In that time, he's lived in Ponyville, and has been the hot older stallion that young fillies have tried to bag for those three generations.>Among the first were Cookie Crumble, her plucky pegasus friend, and an earth pony with strong family values.>They never bagged the human, and so the torch was passed unto Cookie's daughter, Rarity as a young filly, who was eventually joined by Applejack and Rainbow Dash.>Alas, they also failed, and Anon remained unclaimed.>Now history repeats itself once more as Anon begins spotting three little fillies tailing him and spying from bushes.>The Cutie Mark Crusaders are determined to succeed where their predecessors failed and make a herd with the exotic male from out of this world.>For Anon's part, he was a fan of the show, and he's been both trying not to mess with main events too much while also waiting for his dream mares to show.>After all, he's always known both Bonbon and Lyra ended up living in Ponyville, so all he had to do was wait and keep himself pure.>As soon as the former secret agent retired her grappling hook and set up shop, Anon began visiting everyday, hoping to warm through the cranky mare's tough exterior to the wonderful waifu he knows to be within.>Things have been a bit tough though, as Lyra, the one he thought would be easier to befriend, seems to be quite jealous of her new besty and is annoyed with this weird alien sniffing around.>How is Anon going to achieve his dream with Lyra not letting him love her and Bonbon, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders stalking him?>Who knows?>This prompt is a mess.
>>34301549hoery sheeet. I did not see that coming. Well done Anon, well done. I look forward to reading the next update.
>>34302201This is going to end is sadness or foalcon.Or a massive orgy.
>>34302201>>This prompt is a mess.Not really. I'm used to BonBon being the one who's tough to convince. This makes me think of it as an opposite "Lyra's Confession" & "BonBon's Acceptance". I see good potential here.
>>34301205Get tipsy more often i want more of this although RIP dad-non i guess, hopefully he comes back after getting abducted by interdimaresional bandits.Because being turned into your own kid would be weird and knowing 'you' fucked your mom would cause issues.
>>34301549>>34302097>human Anonymous was merged with Luna to create Artemis.>Artemis is basically this fucker
>>34298153>I COME TO MAKE AN ANOUNCMENT
Saw an obscure super power thing and thought about how it could be implemented in this.>Celestia has always had a very strange gift.>She can see numbers over people's heads that she's deduced represents how dangerous they can be to those around them.>Now, it's not just how much raw strength or power a pony has.>For instance, when she looks in the mirror, she sees herself as a nine despite being quite the powerhouse.>Her sister, however, while being less powerful, is an eleven.>As she descended into insanity leading up to Nightmare Moon, it steadily climbed up to a thirteen.>She's not sure exactly how this gift calculates it, but she's met regualr criminals match or even surpass her.>Manipulative, spiteful types, like her nephew Blueblood, can be around an eight despite not having a crime to their name.>The average pony usually only sits at a two or three.>Twilight is around a five these days, but it's actually lower than the six it used to be as she's steadily overcome her neurosis despite becoming more powerful.>It's this power that led to her unashamedly sending little Cozy Glow to Tartarus, seeing as she was a fifteen, same as Tirek and Chrysalis.>That's the highest she's ever seen.>Even Discord pre-reformation was only a twelve.>Sometimes she regrets keeping this power to herself- had she gone to visit Twilight's school and seen Cozy before she revealed her evil ways, she could have prevented her from even attempting them.>Then again, she worries sometimes that ponies might put too much stock into them, like her sister.>High numbers don't necessarily make ponies bad, after all.>This is something she has to tell herself when she's introduced to Anon and has to restrain herself from blasting him and that menacing twenty over his head.>He's already grown quite close to Twilight and many others in Ponyville, and they have nothing but nice things to say about him.>What could possibly be the reason for a colt having the highest number yet?
>>34302531>Manipulative, spiteful types, like her nephew Blueblood, can be around an eight despite not having a crime to their name.>The average pony usually only sits at a two or three.>Blue blood is three-four times times as dangerous as the average pony and nearly on par with celestia.Jesus christ did Blueblood shit in your cornflakes or something.
>>34302543Nah, he's just a tribalist who constantly tries to get laws passed that benefits unicorns and nobles at the detriment to the others.This makes him dangerous to pegasi and earth ponies.
>>34302543>>34302557I imagine he's also the type who will endanger ponies through sheer ignorance and arrogance.>Blueblood is on a luxury cruise, and he's hating it.>His cabin is fifty square meters smaller than he requested, and he's been told they don't have the equipment on board to tear down walls and remodel it bigger.>He wants the cruise over, and demands the pegasus captain to shorten the cruise.>Looking at the map, he sees the path the ship is set to take is a big curve.>Stupid pegasus doesn't realize that straight lines are faster.>Demands they go straight.>The captain tries to explain that that section of ocean is cursed and swallows up ships mysteriously, but Blueblood won't have it.>He threatens to have the pegasus thrown in the dungeons if he doesn't do what he says.>The captain caves and changes course.>Blueblood now has the ship with hundreds of passengers going through the Equestrian equivalent of the Bermuda triangle.
>>34302543>>34302557>>34302570And money/resources, that could factor into itPretty hard for the average pony to be too dangerous on the large scale when they don't have the money to do the really stupid shit
>>34302570>>34302557>>34302575Fair enough i guess, i just dont like the idea of Celestia letting her nephew grow up to be a cuntwaffle on such a scale.Family should be a pretty big deal for her due to Luna's banishment, is all.
>>34302531I figure Anon's number is purely just human nature, and he actually is a nice guy. Like how ponies might think war is throwing pies and that it's horrible, Anon would get into an altercation and break a pony's nose. Also if he thought his family or friends were in danger, he'd kill to protect them where ponies first thoughts would be to restrain or chase away.
>>34302579She was doing the work of two princesses while also preparing Twilight for her grand destiny and probably also giving Cadence lessons on being a ruler.She didn't do it to be malicious, but she just didn't have the time to supervise her nephew's growth and try and teach him to be good and kind. Plus, unless he's an orphan, he probably has his own parents raising him and doing it wrong. He fell through the cracks.You might be able to pin that on her though because one of those parents is her niece of nephew also and she didn't do a good job of raising them despite not having Cadence and Twilight to Shepard.
>>34301549I like thing, though I wonder if "he's a past life" is going to cut it with Celestia
>>34302531>>What could possibly be the reason for a colt having the highest number yet?Meanwhile in Ponyville>Hey Twigs, have I told you how my people learned how to split the atom?
>>34302531>>What could possibly be the reason for a colt having the highest number yet?Anon is a staunch Jacksonian, so he is a populist and anti-royal. Every morning after his constitutional walk and cane practice, he reads one of the Federalist Papers or one of the Founders extra Constitutional writings or letters. Tax season is approaching and Anon has just learned that taxes are levied and set by a representative body that only includes Canterlot nobility.This morning he has resolved himself to have an informational meeting with the citizenry of Ponyville.
>>34302644>>34302649The duality of Anon
>>34302649>Anon is a staunch JacksonianCue Anon building a shrine to the king of pop, talking in a pidgin consisting of "shamone"s and out of context song quotes and dragging his feet backwards everywhere in a poor approximation of moonwalking
>>34302740>then he scoops up an armful of little colts and moonwalks into the bushes
>>34302531>something something, soul mates>something something, Anon is so dangerous because he will make Celestia more dangerous
>>34302531> Meanwhile, Anon writes "best pony" on an open cardboard box and leaves it in the middle of town
>>34302911>Trixie immediately makes a bee-line for said box.
>>34302911> Fluttershy sees a crowd of ponies fighting over who gets to sit in the box> After an episode of learning to be confident again, she suggests everypony takes turns> For 5 minutes, the pony in the box feels amazing> Even after getting out of the box, they feel better about themselves> It becomes a town custom, that when a pony is feeling down, they get to sit in the box for a while
>>34302201>>For Anon's part, he was a fan of the showThere's something that's somehow even more autistic than usual when the human character who appears in Equestria is just full stop a fan of the show and gets to meet all his favourite characters. Like I'd read this in bad fanfiction about pokemon about 10 years ago.
>>34302956A small shrine is built around the box, as ponies fear moving the box would cause it to lose its powers. It is built sturdier than any building aside from Canterlot castle.Since he's not a pony and thus has no reason to enter the box, Anon is turned into the Shrine-boy, complete with full costume.
the jewbirds are coming to steal your stallions
>>34302366>Anon's soul was merged with Luna's budding soul when she was little more than a clump of cells in her mother's womb>it was his spiritual influence, that lead to her being born as a male in this universe.>Anon cannot survive without recombining with Luna>he's technically already dead after all.>his body starts to crumble the longer they're separated >Celestia doesn't know how to feel about this situation, because she can clearly feel aspects of Artemis in both Anon and Luna>meanwhile Luna is panicking and trying to find a way to save her other half>the Elements of Harmony aren't able to put them back together
>>34303055the dragons are coming to steal the humans
>>34303051Reminds me of that statue they put on the side of the road to stop littering, and the locals began to gradually build a proper shrine around it.>The fame of the shrine grows, and so does Anon's>Ponies from all over Equestria take on pilgrimages to not only pay a visit of the Shrine of Good Fortune, but also to ask the wise sensei for a crumble of his wisdom>Meanwhile Anon's just telling movie quotes and memesto the silly ponies but it somehow always works out
>>34302531>Anon is one of the clumsiest humans in known history
>>34302956>It becomes a town custom, that when a pony is feeling down, they get to sit in the box for a whileI love this idea.>>34303157Even better. Anon unwittingly becomes the town therapist.
>>34303157>Reminds me of that statue they put on the side of the road to stop littering, and the locals began to gradually build a proper shrine around it.Huh?
>>34297945Might touch her horn while trying to feel her temperature.
>>34303216Yeah, it's a real world thing and is pretty much perfectly aligned with the prompt.Here, have a link: https://www.buddhistdoor.net/news/the-buddha-of-oakland-transforms-california-neighborhood
>tfw changelings are kill
>>34303140that's a good idea, and I hope the writefag steals it
>>34303309Not with that cowardly attitude. By the way, does anyone have that pic of Chrysalis in a hat and business suit, walking away to go to work after giving Anon a facial bruise?
>>34303309The only good bug is a dead bug.
>>34303140What kinda relationship would both luna and anon have anyway? They have been fused since birth so I'd imagine something like close siblings.
>>34303362iirc, it's presented in the green as Anon being a past life of Artemis, which he remembered during his stint on the moon and the ensuing blast from the elementsdunno what discord did to seperate them, but I hope it's more along the lines of "taking advantage of the splint caused by Artemis briefly going insane from Discord's attack to seperate them" and less "they were two people all along!"I like the past-life idea, thank you very much
>>34303326Personally, the "easy" way aside from merging again would just be to make a soul link between them.
>>34301549>>34303140Dumb question: if Anon and Luna fug, would it be incest or masturbation?
>>34303389but I like them being the same person
>>34303398I mean, that's how it was presented, but if it does turn out to be the "two separate entities" route, it's an easy band aid.
>>34302966>Anon perform's /x/'s autistic wet dream and weasels his way into Equestria>He gets there, finds exactly what he wanted>Everything is sunshine and rainbows for a while>He begins getting nightmares.>A mare is screaming for him.>Pushes it off at first. They keep getting worse.>They haunt him during the day. It gets more articulate and realistic.>Can't enjoy anything.>The joy is sapped out from him as they progress.>He begins to feel drawn to something in the distance.>He doesn't know what, or how far, it is, but he feel compelled to move towards it.>He packs up, little thought on what he's leaving behind.>He continues through the forests, plains and mountains. >Farther than the farthest reaches of any sane civilization>He's gone days -longer maybe- without seeing another soul>At some point, he stops seeing life.>Barren wasteland before him, he keeps treading, not knowing if these are his final hours. >He comes to find an oasis.>A house in the middle of nowhere, complete with a garden and water fountain.>He goes in. It's filled with books.>Mountains of books. Stacks to the ceiling and covering whole walls.>A kind of relief washes over him as he gets closer to his goal. >At the back of the house, in the farthest corner, he finds the mare he'd seen in his nightmares.>"Anon?!">The scream is the exact same, but it didn't cause him pain.>"You... you're real?!">He smiled.>Now he knew why he was here. >To help a mare who had run away. Forsaken the whole world and everyone in it so she could hide and surround herself with fantasy. Nothing else was worth her attention.>A kindred soul.
>Stories abound in real life of stupid idiots who hurt themselves trying to suck their own dicks>There are even plenty of urban legends about various celebrities who had ribs surgically removed just to make it easier to suck their own dick>But then you saw a pegasus mare walking around with a neck brace on"Ouch, that looks painful. How'd you manage that?">The blush and muttered "a stallion wouldn't understand" is all you get in return>But now you're starting to think that rumours you hear about mares trying to orally pleasure themselves might have some merit to them.
>>34303385I mean, I had assumed it was just a past life thing as well. But then Discord straight up splitting them into Anon and LUNA, not another Artemis who's more pony-ish than normal, but actually Luna casts doubt on that idea in my opinion.
>>34303425>a mare who had run away. Forsaken the whole world and everyone in it so she could hide and surround herself with fantasy.She does it for 2 weeks every year, it is kind of relaxing to leave noisy Canterlot and go to a house in the middle of nowhere.
>>34302579That's a cute pic>Gender ratios are ridiculously absurdly lopsided on Equus.>Blueblood wanted to be an explorer, he wanted to go forth into the great unknown, and chart the uncharted.>But for every stallion, there are at least ten mares in the population.>As a highborn stallion, he is too valuable to risk on such foolishly whimsical things.>Instead he has to deal with his family and half of Canterlot pressuring him to accept at least half a dozen eligible noblemares and get a herd going.>The only time he gets to see the world is when they go on vacation, and he's almost never allowed to go anywhere that isn't deemed 'safe enough' which means civilization got there first.>The only time he gets to venture into the great unknown is when a new Daring Do book shows up that he can live vicariously through.
>>34303385I assume it had something to do with how Artenon presented himself, with Anon taking charge after Artemis was disabled by the attack, and this is some kind of quick and dirty "revenge" on Discord's part whne he figured he didn't have much time leftMaybe it's supposed to be a way to keep them seperate, and thus distracted, long enough that they can't carry out his threat while Discord's a statue?All I know is that I really hope they find some way to get them back together
>>34303575>stretches her clit like six inches away from her body>has her muzzle inside the vagina for some reason>anal prolapseI would very much like my 43 seconds returned to me, please.
>>34303575I didn't ask for this.
>>34303919you asked for it when you clicked the link, and didn't immediately back out when you saw the word "prolapse" in the tags
>>34303924I thought it was pro-lapse, as in it supported the concept of the temporary failure of concentration. It's a hard political idea to push, because not many people want to get behind a banner that says "PRO-LAPSE" on it. Especially when some of our guys forget the "-", and we're just standing around in public with a giant sign with "PROLAPSE" sprawled on it in paint. I just wanted some support in that one particular political issue, Anon. It made me feel like my opinions mattered.
>>34303887shit, meant to (you) >>34303590how embarrassing
>>34304037>hfw estrus is hitting like a truck this year
>>34301205>Be Flurry Heart.>Your little faust cousin came over to visit.>You decide to let him hang out in your room while you paint your ponehammer moonguards, you gave him some old hoofgos to play with.>He's been acting weird around you, and when you asked if you could watch after to lil guy mom was more than happy to let you.>Mom's always strange though.>"So... what you painting?">You totally don't jump like a colt when he's suddenly next to you."Jeeze kid, need to put a bell on you or something.">He giggles.>"Mom says that too.""I'm sure.">You continue painting the guard.>"Sooo, who is that?">How do you tell a kid it's a protector of ponies against evil chaotic forces of the abyss?"She's a future guard.">Nice.>"Oh, I think mom has some of those.""Really?">"Yeah, but they're bigger and the spear is longer with another spike underneath.""Jeez, that's a old one. Your mom must be a old time fan.">"She says they were my dad's. That he loved the stuff.">Oooh, buck."Oh, that's nice.">Gosh you feel bad now.>Poor kid never got to know Anon.>You barely even knew him, you were pretty young when he dissapeared, that's more than Jr can say.>"So, what's she do?">Hmm, kid friendly, kid friendly."She beats big bad monsters and puts them in jail for Celestia.">"Oh.">You feel a head lay against your wing."You tired bud?">He nods.>You smile and put down your figure.>You then lift Jr up in your make your way to your bed."How's about a quick nap?">You ask looking up at him.>His face always so red?>He nods again a little smaller this time though.>You crawl into bed and lift the covers to place him in.>You wrap your hooves and wings around him."Comfy bud?">"M-Mhmm.""Good.">You say closing your eyes and falling asleep.
>>34301785Eh, I never liked discord anyway so I am a bit bias.
>>34302579She's not really his aunt though. He's a baron, but Faust figured kids wouldn't understand.
>>34304082>She's not really his aunt though>Blueblood isn't a prince>true, he's rather high up the Noble ladder, but he's still not a prince>Doesn't have the wings for it, you see>No, the reason everyone calls him that though, is because his NAME is "Prince Blueblood">A little long, but that's to be expected do the nobility, really>Even if he lost all his titles and lands, he'd still be called Prince, like how Rainbow would still be called that even if she suddenly shaved her head in a for of midlife crisis>Oh, and something something RGRE
>>34303157>memestoThis is now my work for a manifesto on the internet
>>34302583Same. Every human is completely irrational. Day to day the average human will do something "out of character" when met with new stimulus and we're always changing. Many believe you can't have a true test of human character until his or lives around him are in danger. You can never really know how someone will react to something until it happens, even when it's you trying to gague what you would do in a certain situation. Even people who admit to being cowardly have been show to put their neck out for others when the time comes.I think realistically, the number would fluctuate a lot. Higher when Anon is met with something new, and especially high if he's still adjusting from culture shock while dealing with losing everything he had, and it would lower gradually until some new stressful thing comes by to magically shoot it back upwards to impossible numbers. If it's impossible to know how someone will react until it happens, no way for any spell to gauge it accurately either and would base danger off the pure unpredictability human nature.
>>34304181Call of the void is a good example of this. Somewhere, theres a tiny part of your brain that wants you to do some out of character or insane thing.
I realize that people are super salty about the finale right now but that brief shot of older DT and Silver Spoon was pretty unfworthyhttps://derpibooru.org/2128909?q=older%2CDT
>>34304500I have not watched any of season 9, Is it worth it? I am actually a bit scared after the let downs of the other seasons.
>>34304508It starts out OK but quickly goes to shit by the third episode
>>34304514Does it focus on the mane 6 at all?
>>34304553>>34304514>>34304508>>34304500Mind the spoilers, please.
>>34304560Not to be rude but we are up to episode 19 by now and I am asking for existing stuff. Watch the show and stop trying to prevent discussion because you want to be lazy. There is nothing to be spoiled that is not already available to watch.
>Anon and celly lost in the cold near the crystal Empire after dragon attack during a flight.>Celestia can't cast teleportation and the snow is to fierce to fly.>They move towards the Empire on foot and hoof, until it gets dark and more cold.>Find a cave to camp down in, it's still really cold.>Celestia will be fine due to fur, Anon on the other hand will freeze to death.>Celestia doesn't want to lose him, and Anon is too stubborn of a colt to let her use what little magic she has to at least get him out.>But... she has a rather undignified plan of survival.>She wakes up to a recuse team including Cadence.>"Celestia! We found you! Thank Faust you're alright, I thought you were hur- wait, where's Anon?">Celestia is wide eyed and slowly and shakily gets to her hooves."He is safe. I'll tell you when we get home.">"Celestia, you're limping! Are you hurt?""I'm fine, I just want to get to the castle.">"We have a medic with us, let her give you a quick check. Redhear-""NO! N-No, let's just get home, please.">"...okay, prepare the teleportation spell- who's mumbling?">A quick team check confirms no one in the rescue team is mumbling."Do the spell Cadence."I'm sorry.
>>34304633you don't seem very sorry
Do you guys prefer RGRE based on legal/social differences ("it's always been this way"), population differences (actually fewer males in the population thus we must protect), or on physical differences (mares actually are bigger and stronger than males)?
Sorry for not posting the rest of it, moved back into my uni flat so I've been busy and forgot about it.>It was evening by the time food was brought out and the sun had started to set, casting a fiery orange glow over the ocean>You and all of your crew were completely trashed by this point, staggering about and singing shanties with slurred speech>Like you, everyone else was amazed at the range of different foods and the quality of it, though they were so drunk they wound up wearing half of it>You were all so drunk in fact that nobody even thought to be concerned when the mares trotted out onto the deck>The fact that they had tried to molest your crew and embarrassed the hell out of them was forgotten as the lads spotted them and started laughing>"Yarrr Harrr, it's the poniieees!" Someone exclaimed, pointing a finger at them>The ponies, led by their captain, froze and surveyed the scene with wide eyes>You snickered as you saw the evident surprise on their faces, clearly wondering how their captors had turned the deck of their ship into such a mess>"Heeeeyyy little ponieesh, yooou *hic* wanna come and parrrty with us?">You spotted Incognito leaning over to them, holding out a bottle in offering>The mares, who had previously been so forward and cocky, now looked uncertain and turned to their Captain for guidance>"What are you looking at me for?" She asked>"If a nice colt offers you a drink you take it! Now get over there and get drinking!">They slowly sauntered over, still looking a little unsure of themselves but motivated by their captain's words, and began to mingle with your crew>The pirates handed them drinks and began to cheer as they started to hesitantly sip on them, finding the prospect of getting smashed with some alien horse rapists to be absolutely hilarious>You yourself were chuckling loudly as you observed the scene, too drunk to care at all about the danger you could be in
>>34304796the first two
>>34304802>To be fair though, the mares did seem to have settled down a little>Must have finally realised that you weren't actually there for sex>"Well well, who would've thought a group of colts could get this drunk and rowdy? I thought you guys were all about prissy cocktail parties and trying to act sophisticated...">You were a little bit startled, having not seen the pony captain make her way over to you, but you recovered your composure quickly"We're pirates ye foolish nag, most of what we do is drink">She giggled and took a perch on a barrel next to you, a tankard of mead held in her hoof>"So I see. You colts really are something, not even most mares are as rowdy and aggressive as you guys. We thought you were creatures from the old sea tales who board pony's ships and, well... have their way with them. I'm sorry about how we acted earlier, we all got a little too overexcited and carried away with ourselves">You chuckled heartily as the pony captain also gave a nervous little laugh>After all the insanity of the day, here you were getting an apology from a pony who's ship you had taken and who's cargo you were going to steal"I 'ave to admit little pony, I've never seen anything give me boys such a fright. These lads've gone up against foes who are armed to the teeth and not spared a second thought for their safety, but the one thing that gets 'em quaking in their boots is some colourful ponies thinkin' they're getting laid">You grabbed another bottle, a cherry beer this time, and took a swig"What be yer name anyways, I can't just call ye 'pony' all night long">"Golden Sails" she replied with a little smile"And do tell, Golden Sails, how ye escaped. I thought Nameless had ye all locked away">"Magic" She said flatly with a smug look>"Aye, s'pose that's what they all say">Your attention then turned away from the pony captain as you surveyed the scene on deck and carried on drinking from your bottle
>>34304806>The ponies seemed to have joined in quickly and were happily chatting to your crew and drinking with them>Some were gambling or playing cards, and several of them were stood fascinated as they watched a game of five finger fillet being played, screaming out in shock whenever one of the men stabbed their fingers>You also noticed that several of your men had ponies leaning against them or sat in their laps as they petted them like dogs, stroking their manes and scratching behind their ears>You could imagine that it probably felt nice, but you weren't drunk enough yet to completely forget the sexual harassment you'd been subjected to all day, and so you still didn't really want to be petting any of them>"So..." Golden Sails started, pulling you out of your thoughts again>"What's it like being a pirate? Is it fun? Exciting? With all those weapons you have it looks like it might be dangerous too">You were caught off guard by her question>No one had ever asked you what being a pirate was like, and you had no idea how to describe it to someone who clearly didn't know anything about piracy"I s'pose... in many ways it be miserable, spending weeks away at sea, eating the same stale food every day and being stuck with a wretched group of filthy, murderous villains">She looked at you with some shock and sadness, but you cracked a grin at her"But there's also the adventure, the thrill o' the hunt when ye spot another vessel, the prospect of plunderin' riches and treasure beyond yer wildest dreams...""Aye it's a hard life, horrible at times, but it's a life like no other, and no other life could I ever live">You smiled smugly, feeling strangely content and proud as the pony captain stared at you in wonder>You took a short time to reflect on the events that had led up to this moment>Your crew had been struggling for months until now, always seeming to have the most rotten luck at finding and catching other ships
>>34304809>The rare ones you did manage to catch barely had enough loot to hold you over to the next one, and you had felt certain that your days would soon be over>As your ship was swallowed up by the whirlpool you'd cursed the day that you stole it, believing that your fate was sealed and you were all going to hell>But now here you were sat on top of what was probably the biggest treasure haul in history, drinking cherry beer and chatting to a cute pony>Okay, the ponies had never featured in your fantasies of greatness, but the more you sat and talked to Golden Sails the more fond of her you became>You barely even noticed the fact that she was now leaning against you, as you brushed your fingers gently through her long brown mane>It was incredibly soft against your calloused fingers, but still noticeably windswept and rugged from living at sea>Your thoughts were interrupted by Golden Sails again as she suddenly hopped down from the barrel and grabbed herself another drink from the crate next to you>"Want another drink?" She asked as she refilled her tankard>You'd barely drank half of the beer you already had, but since it was a night for celebration and you had a mountain of free booze to go through, you accepted the bottle she was offering"Yarr, course I do!" You said, quickly downing the rest of your beer and cracking the new one open>Golden Sails hopped back up onto the barrel, taking a few gulps of her own drink before leaning back against you as your hand instinctively resumed stroking her mane and back>"I wanna hear some of your pirate tails" She said, nuzzling your shoulder a little and staring up at you with wide blue eyes>"You must have some cool stories to tell!">You snickered as memories flashed through your head>Your crew hadn't had the best of luck, but that didn't mean you hadn't had your fair share of close encounters and adrenaline pumping adventures
>>34304812>You picked a tale, one you often told to impress tavern wenches when you were back in port, about the night you managed to raid a harbour and make off with some of the British Navy's fresh supplies>They had chased you to your ship, and the harbour town was alive with the flash and crack of muskets and then deafening booms as the 18 pounder guns of your ship opened up >You lost sense of time as you regaled Golden Sails with tails of your exploits>She had gone from leaning against you to laying in your lap and rubbing herself all over you, though you were too drunk to care>Every so often she would hop down and grab you another drink, often doing so before you had finished your current one and encouraging you to down the rest of it>You were more drunk than you had been in a good long while, but the good fortunes of the day and chatting to Golden Sails had left you feeling happier than you had been in years>You finished telling another story and looked around the deck again>You had noticed that it had steadily been growing emptier as both pirates and ponies staggered away, probably off to bed>You noticed some of your boys that were clearly too drunk to stand getting dragged away by the ponies, which may have been concerning a few hours ago, but your drunk mind just assumed they were helping them off to bed>By now the deck was basically empty, just one lad and a pony sat in a corner giggling and a handful of passed out bodies scattered around>You decided that you'd best be off to bed yourself and tried to stand up>Tried being the key word>As soon as you moved, the alcohol hit you like a tidal wave and the world started spinning violently as you fell to the floor>You could hear Golden Sails giggling as you tried to get to your feet, clawing your way back up the barrel that you had fallen from>"Need a helping hoof?" She asked, pushing herself under your body and allowing you to use her for support
>>34304815"How much bleedin' alcohol did ye give me lass?" You slurred as you finally made it to your feet>"Awww, I thought you were a big strong pirate monkey that could handle his drink">She looked up at you with an innocent expression, but her teasing tone made it obvious that she'd known exactly what she was doing>"You need me to help you get to bed? A captain can't go passing out on the deck like the rest of the mob">Whilst you could have easily passed out on deck and felt no shame for it, a nice bed did sound rather inviting, so you accepted her help>"Aye, I think that'd be *hic* for the best. L- *belch* lead the way lassie">You leaned on her rather heavily as she led you to the captain's quarters, stumbling to your knees several times as she tried to stifle her laughter>You paused to catch your breath as you got to the door, the exertion of trying to walk whilst shitfaced having sapped your energy>As you stood there panting slightly, you heard a commotion as your first mate Nameless, who had somehow recovered his ripped pants, stumbled around the corner hastily, tripping over due to his drunken state and collapsing to the floor>He looked up, his desperate eyes meeting your own as he started babbling semi-coherently>"Th-the ponies Captain! Ye cannae trust 'em! They be sirens! Vile cursed temptresses!">You stared at him in confusion, his rushed words barely making sense to your drunken mind>Before he could continue ranting or pick himself up off the floor, a small blue mare with aquamarine mane and tail came trotting around the corner>She looked at you and Golden Sails, who were both staring in total confusion, before giving an amused little giggle and moving over to Nameless>"Don't mind him, he's just had a little too much to drink. Here, let me help you get back to your bed">She then grabbed the scruff of his shirt in her teeth and started dragging him away>Nameless wasn't going without a fight though, kicking and screaming all the way
>>34304820>"Don't let 'em tempt ya Cap! Don't let 'er get ye! Save yerself!">It was a losing battle however as Nameless was dragged back around the corner, the mare briefly popping her head back to give you both an innocent smile, before Nameless' frantic cries receded into the distance>Your brain had no idea how to make sense of the scene that had just occurred, and you turned to Golden Sails with a bemused expression, hoping that she'd have the answer"What *hic* what d'ye reckon that was all about?">"N-nothing! I'm sure he's just trying to cause a scene whilst he's drunk, typical colt. I know Ocean Swell will make sure he gets to bed safely, he's in good hooves... hehe">If you were sober you may have noticed her nervous laughter or her eyes shifting around as she fiddled with her hooves, but you had already gotten distracted trying to pull the door open"Aye, Nameless can get a bit wild when he's been hittin' the drink. Let 'im sleep it off" You said with a chuckle, remembering just how many tavern brawls you'd seen him in>Never seen him lose one either to be honest, the man was built like a brick shithouse"Now, help me get this door open. Bastard's stuck or something">"Allow me", she said, stepping in front of you and pushing open the door that you had been trying in vain to pull>You scowled at her, still sober enough to know that you'd been made to look like a fool>Golden Sails just gave you a cheeky smug grin as she trotted inside the room, brushing against your leg as she entered>You followed her into the darkness, then immediately tripped over your own feet again because you couldn't see>You heard a match being struck and the room was illuminated as Golden Sails lit several candles around the room, the light casting a warm and cosy glow upon the wooden cabin
>>34304796I like all takes on it. Population difference is the easy one and I think is the most common/easy to rationalize. Would like to see more of the others though.
>>34302531>Saw an obscure super power thingCelestia can see everyone else's powerlevel without a scouter, you mean?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsDDXSmGJZA
>>34304825Gonna leave it there, I know this update is kinda short, but I'm gonna post the rest of it in the next one and there's not really a convenient stopping point after this bit. In case you haven't guessed, Anon and his crew are all about to receive the V, so the next update is mostly a lewd scene followed by the ending. I'll upload it tomorrow night hopefully unless I'm busy or the thread is close to bump limit.Pastebin for it is here:https://pastebin.com/ZeBhpQGC
>>34304841guess it's time for >rape again
>>34304841Very cute, RIP Nameless, rest in pantslessness
>>34304796I like population differences and physical differences. Population differences are a good way to kickstart the idea that stallions need to be protected, since there are so few of them compared to the mare population. Since stallions are, on the whole, bigger (and presumably stronger) than mare, a difference in population means that their dismissive attitude towards them and their abilities is less because mares think stallions are less physically able to do something dangerous, and more that they represent a bottleneck in the population and are thus a precious commodity. Since physical size becomes irrelevant in this scenario, it's easy for mares to dismiss much of what Anon can do despite him being twice the size of him. Big or small, society has taught mares that stallions are precious and must be protected; even tall alien ones like Anon. That particular hurtle ("No, seriously, I'm bigger and stronger than you ponies. You don't even need to worry about me.") is neatly leaped over.But physical differences isn't something that's often tackled, since it's blatantly shown on the show that stallions are bigger than mares. I think I saw someone try to sort of get around this by laying down some lore about how physical strength and one's capabilities are tied directly to how magically powerful a pony is, and mares are naturally much more magically powerful than stallions. So, Rainbow Dash is a stronger flier by nature than, say, Soarin' despite him having bigger wing muscles and a more broad wingspan. Physical size was irrelevant and ultimately accomplished the same thing as mares plain being bigger and stronger than stallions. But being bigger and stronger than stallions also opens a more practical and much more simple reason for the sexism: mares are just straight up bigger and stronger than stallions are, and as such they need to be protected.I'm a fan of just about whatever, but it would be nice to see physical differences explored more.
>>34301610>>34301717>>34302231>>34302366>>34302635>>34303395>>34301789Thanks guys. Hope the twist wasn't too dumb.>>34301991I'm playing loose with the rules, but Discord split Artemis in two. One half kept the X chromosome, while Anon parted with his Y.>>34301785>>34304071The unfortunate side affect of Anon being very sensitive to chaos magic, disharmony made him act like an idiot.>>34303140>>34303326>>34303362>>34303385>>34303385>>34303590>>34303887They are the same pony/person. They will discuss if they should become one again, or just adjust to this new life.>>34303395Masturbation.
>>34304978>Masturbation.Well fug, that means they're tied somehow. Body, spirit, something, but they're tied together.
>>34304633>It has been a day since Anon was removed from Celestia's ponut and restored to normal size>After a bath, with the sun princess, the erection still has not gone away>After a day of inconvenience, Anon just walks around with a clear bulge>He pccasionally asks Celestia to "do the spell again" followed by him disappearing for several hours
>>34304109>A Baron(ess) naming their son "Prince">The rest of the nobility just going along with it.I'm sorry, anon, that kind of thing is only allowed for conqueror's, very eccentric rock stars, and people who marry Princesses.Those nobles would bitch so hard about some lower level nobles trying to pretend they're better/more powerful than the Countess and the Duchess and so on.
>>34305165Could argue that harmony/fate plays a hand in naming ponies based on their destiny, so nobody threw too much of a fit except for some lines that felt threatened. Then again, that would imply that Blueblood's destiny is to become a prince.I suppose he could be the "prince" of stallionists, though.
>>34305165What if his name was actually an incomprehensible symbol with no literal meaning, so ponies just called him "Prince" instead?
>>34305111I figured her mare hood would be warmer and more accommodating. Plus she gets her scent nice and on him so mares know she's top bitch.
>>34302901Could actually work.Anon is dangerous because he's going to make Celestia act erratically, which causes problems for the whole kingdom.>"Anon my love, I brought you the moon.">"Ah, Celestia, is the moon supposed to be that close to the planet?">Meanwhile, massive tidal waves ravage the shorelines while Luna dawns her battle armor and prepares for war against the sister who dared touch her moon.
>>34304796I prefer a combo of the first two.And occasionally a smattering of *mental* differences, I think I prefer it where stallions are just suffering from learned helplessness, but sometimes it's amusing to have mares literally be a bit smarter than them.
>>34305306Either one works, dudeOne is filled with brap and the other is damp and I worry it'd crush you or something
>>34302531>Anon's powerlevel is twenty>not OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAANDOne job, goddamnit. You had one job.
>>34305344>Be Anon.>Luna donned in armor in a warhammer just burst in you and Celestia's room as you're gently telling her off for doing something so dangerous and giving her a hug for trying to be romantic.>"Sister! Thy dare touch what belongs to us!">The hug quickly breaks.>"I knew it! I knew you'd try to take him away from me!""Honey she didn't mean m-">"The moonlight belongs to us!">"NICKNAMES!? I'll kill you, you bitch!">Celestia grabs out her axe with her magic and brings it close before charging Luna.>Luna blocks it and the fight begins.>Slashes and blocks are released as the two fight, occasionally a beam of magic only for it to evaporate by another.>A slap to the back of Celestia's head cuts the two's fight off though.>"Snrk- HAHAHAHA! Thy husband slaps you like thee would a- *SLAP!* AGH""Luna go to your room! Celestia put the moon back!">"This tis not over!" Luna says fleeing."Yes it is!">Celestia is now crying.>"Why! Why would you betray me for, for, for my own sister! Am I not enough!? Did I do something wrong!? Please tell me-" Her pleadings are stopped as you draw her in for a kiss.>You hold her close for a few seconds before breaking it."Honey, she was talking about the moon, not me, and you know I would never betray you, now put away that axe and get in bed, as dumb as it was, I think such romantic jesters deserve at least a little reward~"
>>34305444Such silly ponies
>>34305377>damp and I worry it'd crush you or somethingNo, Celestia is a very safe mare. She'd never hurt her Anon.
>>34304978>They are the same pony/person. They will discuss if they should become one again, or just adjust to this new life.It'd be pretty adorable if Luna was really protective of anon
>>34304841eat the mare puss anon
>>34297703>Anon is in Canterlot, along with Ponk poni>Spends much of their time doing whatever the heck they do>Shit's impossible, some are out of this world>But the most morbid of all is that Ponk Poni witnessing Anon...touching the sun>I'm Gun'na touch the sun!>*Cue whipcream spray*"Witnessed!">Anon wildly flay randomly as Celestia made a combat stance against the deranged looking human>He may be a handsome colt but she's 'not afraid' of hitting a Colt>She shimmered her horn readied fire->"Too late!">The princess gasp loudly as the human touched her all over>The fact that Anon miraculously tackled the strong mare princess, was a feat of legends to stallions all over the kingdom>Celestia's mind broke in love"And that's how Celestia met his husband. To this day she still loved him forever, even though shes a 'bit' clingy to him sometimes, maybe it's her centuries of loneliness buut whatevs"
>>34305676>And that's how Celestia met his husbandThis got way kinkier.
>>34305687Are you man enough to take his highness' royal scepter to the sheath?A lot of mares are getting off to the idea that you can.
>>34305849Let's not get too deep into this, you know how quick hhh is to jump in. Wasn't there a prompt where Celestia used a strap to tell if a male were into her for her or just money?
>>34304841Such good selfless ponies, helping them all off to bed like that.
>>34305444>romantic jesters I thing you may be a bit mixed up. Unless there are other ponies involved.
>>34306022>girlfriend nervously tells her parents that she's pregnant>they act a little disappointed, but tell her that they'll always be there to support her and you... so long as they see a ring on your finger long before their grandchild starts to show
>Anon gets all the pussy she wants>All he has to do is drop a hint and and act interested>Livin' the dream, horse pussy at the drop of a hat, whenever he wants>A man could want nothing more, right?>...right?>A little bit later he realizes he can't make anypony stick around>for he has become the thot>A piece of eye candy good for a quick bang, nothing more>Asks a stallion for advice>"Well maybe you shouldn't have ridden the vag carousel."
>>34305444>Anon and Celestia then make love in front of 20 to 30 clowns
>>34306069>>Anon gets all the pussy she wants>shethat's what you get for being a dyke
>>34306085What the fuck is up this thread?
>>34305444>romantic jesters deserve at least a little rewardSo, Ponk gets invited to a game of Just The Tip?
>>34305687Truth is, it's rigged from the start>After Anon tackled Celestia and essentially broke his mind to be in love, errors happened>First was Celestia being tackled and unable to standup, the dread and helplessness, the 'Princess' sheath expanded from it's invisibility>Second, Celestia was feeling strange for the past few days since he met Anon, something about his generally marely personality made him specifically submissive than before; like the more he smells him the more the 'Princess's' nose flare by the unwashed, raw and sheer musk that Anon is displaying>Thirdly, due to the nature of coltish behavior, the 'Princess' let out a very feminine voice to Anon; But to the Princess it's more of a Stallion screaming to be pounded senselessly mindless. Until he fell in love too with him(spoiler) "Oh! Anon Yes! Loveme!. I've been a baad Colt~"(/spoiler)
>>34306069>vag carousel.Vagoo canoeTaco trainButt boatPuss BusCunt Cart
>>34306193are you retarded
>>34306348>>34306298Twat TrainCooter ScooterCoochie Coaster
>>34306056>ywn be accepted into another family and be treated like their sonDepending on the Anon, that sort of treatment might blindside him.
>>34306298Pouch PassLip Trip
Let's say you manage to land in Equestria and find a mare you love. Do you think you'd be a good father? What sort of things would you do with your foal?
>>34306193>Alicorns, being freaks of nature, are hermaphrodites.>Boy was Shining surprised on his wedding night.>You fuck Celestia's divine marepuss until she's little more than a twitching mess, then go to town on her ponut in a list fueled frenzy. Then you do the unthinkable and power bottom the royal dick.>So many orgasms from so many places after such a long dry spell almost breaks her. She actually blacks out for several minutes in a blissful, overstimulated coma.>Later, to her slight concern, nothing but thinking of a human can make her aroused anymore.
>>34307110>listLust. Ban phoneposters like me
Don't take the bait.
>>34307194but she's so adorable... i just want to hug her and squeeze her and call her george
>>34307216<Tfw I'll never be romanced by the beautiful identical triplets Hook, Line, and Sinker.>Tfw we will never all live together on a houseboat with our many children and run a successful fishing business
>>34307240>hook, line, and sinker10/10
>>34307240>identical triplets Hook, Line, and Sinker.
>>34307073>What sort of things would you do with your foal?Didn`t you mean.. satyrs?I don`t think i would have only one foal, i would put at least 2 in her.Anyway i would teach them, i would taught the basics of social interaction and other things are in my field of expertise in the form of the game, also i would spoil them rotten with gifts and food.>Do you think you'd be a good father?I think i do, what kind of question is that?
>>34306925Haha nah i'd totally not break down once i realised the familial affection was actually genuine and i found out what parental love felt like.Rainbow dashes parents would absolutely destroy me.
>satyr>hhh>futa>tf>transgenderWhere the fuck is the quality control in this thread?
>>34307340Its people having fun with an obvious typo or weaksauce bait, relax my dude
>>34307334there'd probably be the initial hump after they just met you where windy is grinding the family axe with the traditional "broken heart == broken legs" wheras bow would just be sitting off to the side with the creepiest smile you can imagine. they're probably the only parents that'd dare do that to a colt, but their dedication/obsession with their daughter would probably override the traditional gender role thing about datinghowever after that hump and you prove you're just as loyal to dash as she is to you they'd be the best in-laws imaginable, if a little pushy, occasionally overbearing, and constantly nagging for grandfoals
>>34307400I mean, considering how baby hungry some of the anons are, I doubt that would be a problem for long. A conversation about that would probably go something like;>"So about them grandkids.""Oh we're planning on at least a dozen.">"A dozen!?" Rainbow squeaked beside you."Well yeah? I mean your cute, I love foals and the magic just happens right?">Two high pitched squees of delight are heard as you look to see Windy and Bow with wide grins and hooves to their cheeks.>"Oh no, Anon you've done it now..." Rainbow groused as she covered her face with her wings, but you can see the faint blush on her face.>The last thing you see is two overly excited pegasi tackle you before waking up on the couch with Rainbow atop you and a list at least three feet long with...you squint to read baby names?
>>34307432only issue I could foresee is naming one a human name, because i'll be damned if i have multiple kids and don't name one after my father or grandfatherof course the easy and optimal solution is extreme sexual dimorphism
>>34307446Hypothetical:>Human + Mare = Fillies and Hobbit-men.Would you sire a shire with your waifu?
>>34307340Lets see, what else we can do?Aha!>Anon, as a kid landed in the Pie`s family farm>Couple years before sonic rainboom event that made mane6 the way they are>Gets adopted into Pie`s family >Grows with Pie`s sisters who think of him as their big brother>When puberty hits anon starts to tease his sisters>Putting his junk on his sister heads when they least expecting this and asking them what are they doing>Flashing them when he goes out of shower>striding around the house in his undiesincest
>>34307464>sire a shirefucking kekAye, that I would!
>>34307464>hobbit menonly if they're 5' minimumi can live with my sons being a foot shorter than me, but i don't want a race of turbomanlets springing from my loins. need to preserve /some/ height advantage on the ponesi'd love em even if they were hobbits, but fuck it it's wish fulfillment general
Would it be considered incest if a mare left a herd for whatever reason and then formed/joined a herd with one of her former herdsister's sons?Would it make a difference if she left before or after the colt was born?How awkward would meeting the parents be?
>>34307110>list fueled frenzyHoo boy, have YOU got the wrong alicorn.
>>34307564fee fie foe fum, motherfuckers
>>34307496>only if they're 5' minimumYou're completely missing the point of the hobbit
>>34307585>he doesn't knowgive ponies an inch and they'll take a mile
>>34307595She's just a LITTLE too tall for my tastes.I don't want to have to strain my neck while I'm trying to eat her out.
>>34307595>give ponies an inch and they'll take a mileAnd if you give them six inches they'll take you to court for child support. HEYOOOOOOOOOOO
>>34307481That's not how incest works though.
>>34307617it's funny but it hurts
>>34307922That's the best kind of funnyAlso>>34307617They don't even have to do that. All they have to do is fish the used condom out of the trash and invert and insert it vaginally while the guy's not looking. Spermjacking, they call it.
>>34307617>>34307922>>34307948You appear to have forgotten the "reversed" part of "reversed gender roles"Unless you're talking about normal women, in which case carry on
Stealing from AiE>Be Celestia.>Three humans appeared in Ponyville.>They look rather similar and nanes are of the same meaning.>Anon, Nito, and Unknown.>They seemed quite happy to be in Equestria for some reason, but you can't blame them, Equestria IS the best nation in the world, not to toot your own horn.>They wanted to meet you badly from what Twilight said, although one showed 'intrest' in her.>She requested that if none else Nito be returned to her.>Something about nice massages.>They entered your throne room together and were quickly amazed by you and Luna, more so than you've seen any of your ponies.>They're tall ape like creatures, but clearly more evolved than any seen on Equestria, with little to no hair, you'd be a liar if you said they weren't in the least bit interesting.>The one names Anon requested that he be allowed to approach and investigate you, and Unknown Luna, there was no harm in it so you two allowed it while the other Nito talked to you two.>Holy buck are you glad you allowed Anon.>The fact they're a evolution of apes was quickly confirmed at least a little bit during the investigation.>It first started with your hooves, which where gently caressed and inspected by the curious creature.>You were then complemented on you wings, which you must admit made you more than proud of yourself for the care you gave them.>Then came the back rub.>First he was simply interested in your fur, but after a bit you could help but request that he help with some tension while back there.>Goodness has he.>You felt the powerfully evolved fingertips dig in deep in your back as he rubbed at every muscle.>You felt him scratching deep in at itches you didn't know you had.>Your wing joints were gently rubbed with the care and accurate ability only a creature evolved to do so could.>Your sister was quite quick to pick up your enjoyment and requested that Unknown do the same.
>>34308359>She made gentle grunts and groans of pleasure as the human began to work on her back, the tension of thousands of years worth of stress eased out with each noise.>You could hear quite completes shot your way as Anon continued to scratch and rub, as foalish as it maybe, hearing that you're a good pony, and acceptance of all the work you do made you more than a bit happy.>So now, here you and your sister lay, heads rested against the gentle warmth of humans as you get the treatment of your lives.>Nito eventually excused himself telling you he'd return to Ponyville, while Anon and Unknown stayed for a bit.>But all good things must come to a end as duty called."I'm very sorry to cut this short but my sister and I must attend to the raising of the moon.">You say forcing yourself up.>"Of course, me and Unknown will head back to Ponyvil-" Unknown starts.>"NAY!" Your sister calls out to the human before blushing at her outburst. "W-We mean, nay. Thy shall stay here in Canterlot so we may learn more of your culture. Tis only right. Besides, tis only fair as young Sparkle will be learning from Nito.">Anon looks a bit unsure.>"Really? I don't want to be a burden or anything.">Don't you leave after that! You'll be damned if you lose out on the massege like that!"Of course not. Infact, I have just the room for you.">Real close by mine for easy access to those hands!
>>34302779>He still believes Michael did what the shills tell him Michael did.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pnoQqlygQshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yTTEwBLfUQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYx0vLfpRYYYou came for RGR but today you'll leave with some proper researched TRUTH
>>34308456Yes, the mentally ill druggie who would pay parents to let their little boys to stay with him unsupervised did nothing wrong
>>34308505Keep burying your head in the ground, man, you aren't the first and won't be the last, even confronted with empirical fact they still refuse to face reality.
>>34302779>>34308456>>34308505>>34308542Is there a mare with one sparkly horseshoe in RGREquestria, that may or may not have done questionable things to young fillies?
>>34307400>Windy and Bow take an immediate liking to you>"I never thought I'd see the day I'd find a colt who is as big a fan of our daughter as we are!">Their logic is simple>Rainbow Dash is awesome>You are Rainbow Dash's coltfriend>Therefore YOU must be awesome, otherwise you wouldn't be her coltfriend>They aren't even subtle about their desire for grandfoals
>>34307555>Anon comes up with a list of possible things he and Twilight can do together>Twilight immediately squirts squash soup all over the floor"I made a short list of diners that are open this early in the morning.">"UURRRRRRRRRRGH"
>>34308542I'm picturing Moondancer desperately trying to defend her favourite pop star who had a habit of hosting sleepover parties for foals.
>>34309003Moondancer is her name, or is it Moonwalker?DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN
>>34309040>Moondancer is secretly the hip pop star, Moonwalker>She's straight up horse MJ
>>34309045>Moonwalker Jacksis>"shamoff">is always grabbing her cooter>Wears one sock>has a filly fetish she sates at Always-Sky Orchard>ends her life as a transzigger, calling it somesort of skin condition when her coat starts forming stripes
>>34309153That's ignorant. You're being ignorant.
Who here's ready to get STRIPED?https://derpibooru.org/1986159?q=oc%3Amatriarch+zeg%27us
>>34309301I'll pass, I hope she finds true love though.
>When he can hilt
>>34309735>Stallions might have longer penises, but they can never hilt>Half the length is wasted>Anon however can hilt every time, and there's just something special about the sensation of your lover's hips crashing against your own>"Say what you will about him looking weird or non-equine, but I get a mini-orgasm every time his balls slap against my clit.">Mare's mom says that if a stallion is good in bed and isn't crazy, then he's a keeper>Mare is inclined to agree
>>34309153>Enter anon with his foal-like eyes.
>>34309844>in the distance is heard a terrified "ee hee hee" as Anon attempts to turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away
>>34307496The absolute state of pegasi marelets
>>34309177Its a joke
>>34310252Smol mareSmol pussWhen she's so incredibly tight that you almost can't get it in, you realize size doesn't matter.
>>34310367Probably lighter than unicorns, and definitely lighter than Earth ponies.>Standing and hoisting a pegasi mare onto your cock with two hands firmly around her barrel, just behind her wings.>Holding her up easily and rhythmically sliding her backwards on to your dick.>Occasionally, she'll flap a bit out of instinct to try stabilize.It may be demaresculating, but I'm sure it's somemare's fantasy
>>34310339Yeah, and it went right over your head Mr Jefferson
>>34309177You mean "ig'nant"
WALE UP YOU DYKES
>>34311196here let me try something...horse pussy
>>34310488>Occasionally, she'll flap a bit out of instinct to try stabilize.Why is the mental image of this so arousing.
>>34311196>WALE UPNo stallion wants a 500lb blob with a coat made out of hardened cheeto dust you fucking ultradyke
>When you ask two mares if they want to herd up with you
>>34311294Yeah, i had to wash Moonie all the time when we first meet, and what you know without all that hardened cheeto dust she weights only 200 pounds. She kind of attractive now.
>>34311472Bath time question, which pony is the uardest to take a damn bath
>>34311566TreehuggerObviouslyHippies are homeless tier clean
>>34311566Your foals, obviously.
>>34309078Why do people like his art when he does the same muzzle-mouth separation thing that the show does now and gets shit on for?
>>34311705He does a lot of ManxMare and his style is decently cute, so little details can be overlooked.
>>34311705He still puts out some good stuff, it's just not very consistent.
>>34311566Rainbow Dash. She'll argue that it takes time and that she doesn't like the flower scent of soap, and that she can just fly through clouds and get a nice soak that way. But once you introduce her to the idea of quality time in the bath together, well...
>>34311790I dunno. I'd think Dash would know the importance of bathing. Washing off the sweat from a hard day of training and performing would feel so nice. Not to mention it's important to keep her sculpted body healthy, and she would not want to hinder her abilities. Granted, she probably does have lazy days where she sometimes goes for a quick rinse rather than a full cleaning.
>>34311790>even the toughest of mares acts like a petulant child when bath time comes>they'd rather just go roll around in the dirt and be done with it>you have to make if fun for them or they won't even consider getting wet>this is the reason why spas are so popular: getting pampered during the process makes bathing enjoyable>but you can't afford a spa treatment every day>so at home, if there aren't bubbles or rubber duckies for Ponk to play with that shit ain't happening>Fluttershy and Rarity won't get in the tub unless you get in, too, and personally groom them>Twilight is easier; as long as you keep her talking she barely even notices she's getting bathed>Dash and AJ have to be chased down and strongarmed into the tub>AJ accepts it once she's in, but Dash will try to bolt if you take your hands off of her for even a second
>top cunt is so dumb she doesn't bathe because "it'll wash my fast off!"hahahah youre ok sometimes, rgre
>>34311884>rubber duckiesTruely the secret weapon of bath time, no mare can resist a squeaker.
>>34311884>>they'd rather just go roll around in the dirt and be done with it
>"What?!">You look at Caramel, eyebrow raise"What?">"What do you MEAN what?" the guy said, making exaggerated movements with his arms.""...I mean what?">"You can't WHAT for something like this, Anon!">Be Anon>Be confused>This morning, Applejack had asked you if you had wanted to go to her family's cabin this weekend with the girls>You had, of course, said yes>It'd be rad getting out into the mountains, making fires and all of that stuff>Applejack was a bit flaky on what EXACTLY you all were gonna be doing up there, but you hadn't been too worried>The girls and you were buddies; even if you just sat around eating marshmallows it'd be fun>Still, you were curious about the cabin, so you had gone to Applejack's cousin, MotherFucking Caramel Apple, your man-buddy and all around friend>You figured he had been there before, and would fill you in on anything you might do up there>Apparently not though, since he was now packing, arms behind his back muttering to himself>You heard bits and pieces>"Harem" was said, as was "I thought they'd go for someone taller...">In between his muttering, he'd look up at you>You could see the gears in his head turning>"Anon... you're...">Shaking his head, he started pacing again>Before you could ask what was eating him he suddenly stopped, snapping his fingers>"Wait!">He spun around on his heel, walking over to where he had been sitting just a few moments ago>Reaching for his man-purse--he called it a messenger bag but fuck him--he dug around in it before pulling out a bottle of what looked like pills>"Here," he said, setting it down in front of you. "Take one RIGHT NOW, then another later. Keep taking one in the morning and one at night everyday. You had until Friday, so they should start to kick in then."
>>34312205>Staring at the pills, you slowly picked them up"Okay. But why though?">"No. Don't," Caramel said, shaking his head. "Just... do what I say please. Trust me, as someone that knows. "Someone that knows what, exactly?">"Nope. I'm not getting into it. Just... take one right now, and keep taking them. You're thank me later if they manage to talk you into it.""Into what?">"If they do manage to talk you into it, keep me how the weekend went, alright?" he said, ignoring your question as you placed a hand on his shoulder>You really didn't understand what he was talking about, but you trusted your buddy>Your weird, very feminine buddy that walked around with a purse"I... alright man, I'll take'em,"you said, unscrewing the bottle and shaking out a single pill>It was a little pink one, with little letters on it>Squinting, you could just make them out>Man-Ex tm>You frowned a little at the name>You were 300% man, thank you very fucking much>Still, to make Caramel happy, you popped it into your mouth, reaching for your drink>In three gulps, the pill was down your gullet>You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out with an, "Ah!">Caramel seemed to visibly relax once you did that, a smile coming to his face as he placed a hand on his chest>"Thank you.""...Is this one of those Equestrian things?">"Yes.""And you're not going to tell me?">"I will not.""Not even a hint?">"Nope. You'll learn on your own.">Snorting, you reached up to boop the guy>His face immediately scrunched up, eyes crossing"I'm sure I'll be fine. You're probably just overreacting like always. Hell, I'll bet this camping thing will be a blast."
>>34312211~_~_~_~_~_"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh--">Fluttershy's inner thighs squashed against your cheeks>The girl's face was bright red all the way down to her neck>Her eyes were wide, and she had covered her mouth with both hands as she repeated the same phrase over and over and over again, so quickly that the words seemed to mesh together>You could feel her stubble as you licked at her womanhood>A tuft of pubic hair was right above it, tickling your nose>You'd never had anyone sit on your face before>Honestly, it wasn't too bad, especially with her facing you like this>Flutter's smelled sweet, and her thighs were warm and soft>You were also able to play with her big bubble butt while you eat her out>From your reaction, Fluttershy had never sat on someone's face, nor did she think anyone would let her>Fluttershy let out a squeak, her belly heaving>"OhmygoshohmygoshOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!">Her legs clamped around your head as she let out a squeal, cumming>You swallowed what you could--and you wanted to, since the girl tasted like fucking honeysuckles--but you were forced to close your eyes when it became too much for you and her cum ran down your head>Fluttershy, shaking, slowly rolled off you, hitting the bed with a "phomp!">"...Fuck." she said, while you tried wiping the cum from your face
>>34312215~_~_~_~_~_~"Hehehehe... Fuck~ Harder, Nonners.Harder~">You had your hands on Pinkie's hips>They were big hips, which ended in an even bigger ass>She usually liked to tease you whenever she caught you looking at her butt>You could look all you wanted now though>Pinkie had her face buried in the mattress, ass in the air>You were behind her, doing exactly as she asked>Full, hard, fast thrusting>Tip to stem, no retreat, no mercy>Every once in awhile, you'd slam into her just the right way>Whenever you'd do that Pinkie would shiver and start to giggle>Her pussy would also clamp down on you, as if was doing now>"Heheheh... I'm gonna cum again, Nonners,"she said, her voice sounding far off, looking up at you with hazy blue eyes>The girl had been cumming almost nonstop>Most were mini-orgasms you think>Still, the girl didn't seem to want you to stop>You were covered in sweat, breathing hard>Your ass, legs, and hips were starting to ache>The spirit wouldn't let the body give out just get though>Not on this day>Growling, you grabbed Pinkie by her arms, yanking her upward>Her giggling became panting as you quickly reached around, giving her tits a squeeze>"Nooooooners~">You buried your face into her poofy hair as she soaked your groin, inhaling
>>34312231~_~_~_~_~_~_~>Come on, darling. Say my name~">Rarity cupped your face with both hands, eyes twinkling as she looked at you>Her face was flush>Her full, perfect body was on display>Nice, round butt, breasts that were just a bit bigger than a handful>You wanted to touch and squeeze, explore that body, but the devious fashionista had secured your hands to the bedpost with a bit of silk>You were leaning against that bedpost in a sitting/leaning position with Rarity on top of you>The girl had it so that she was grinding herself against your dick>She was being a tease, slowly sliding herself up and down, teasing your cockhead, applying just enough pressure that you think she'll let your head slip in, though it never does>You had been teased like this for the better part of an hour, and it was driving you nuts>Your hips were bucking on their own, and you were leaking like a facet>Rarity just giggled, kissing you and asking the same thing over and over again>You let out a grunt as she wiggled her hips>She lowered herself on your cockhead>Her lips parted, and looking down you could see the healthy pink that laid within>While you wanted nothing more than to thust as hard as you could, you knew it would do you no good>So, you looked into the fashionista's eyes"Rarity," you whispered>A shiver ran up her spine, and her eyes turned predatory>She kissed you sweetly, sucking on your lower lip before breaking it>"Say it again," she whispered."Rarity.">"Again.""Rar--ITY!">In one smooth motion, she hilted you>You felt your cock throb, and your eyes crossed so hard that your vision actually went blurry>Rarity just laughed>"Good, now be a dear and SCREAM IT~"
>>34312271~_~_~_~_~_~>"Oh, you're gonna get it, you fucking slut. This pussy is gonna fucking BREAK YOU!">Rainbow had her arms on your shoulders, using you as support as she hovered over your cock>You had your arms on her firm, tight little butt>You had wanted to mouth her breasts--the smallest out of the girls by a mile--but she hadn't let you>Something about them being too sensative>Rainbow was currently looking down at your cock, face red and grinning from ear to ear>"I'm gonna fuck you so good, baby," she said, voice husky. "I'm gonna blow your fucking back out! This is gonna be the tightest pussy you've ever had!">She pressed herself against your cockhead, fingers digging into your shoulder blades>"You want this pussy?" she demanded>You nodded, kissing her chin>"Say it!""Please?">"OH, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT, BUSTER BROWN!">In one motion, Rainbow lowered herself down onto you>Her ass hit your hips with a slap>You let out a moan, fingers digging into her rump>Rainbow let out squeak, body tensing>And then she was cumming, her pussy trying to crush your dick as she soaked your groin and belly>You cracked open and eye, staring at her in confusion>Panting, Dash somehow managed to turn redder>From behind you, someone let out a snort>"Good goin', Dash. Ya showed him.">Rainbow immediately whipped around to face the heckler>"Hey! Screw you! I, um... IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S THE FULL MOON OUT AND SHIT! MY HEAD HURTS! I WASN'T READY! S-SCREW YOU!"
>>34312282~_~_~_~_~_~_~>"There's a good lad. Come on, fill this ol' Apple up.">Applejack rose and lowered herself at an even, steady pace>Her arms were around your neck, and her hat was on your head>Her straw blond hair bounced as she fucked you slow and steady, her muscular body tensing and flexing>Her pussy had a bit more hair than the other girls>It was also thrillingly warm, and tight>She also seemed to be able to flex and tense her inner muscles>The farmer was like a machine>Just like Pinkie, she had been fucking you for the better part of an hour>Unlike Pinkie though she seemed to have unreal stamina>You might have made her cum once>She was making you cum so much that you were getting dizzy, your groins absolutely soaked>She was about to do it again too>Applejack, seeing your expression, grinned>"Gettin' close again, fella?" she asked>You opened your mouth to answer, only for her to press your face between her tits>They weren't the biggest out of the girls, but they were more than bit enough for you to be swimming in tit flesh>She slapped her big, firm ass against your hips, grinding hard and making your toes curl>Your cock twitched, sending a spurt of cum shooting inside of her>"Good. Gimme a big one."
>>34312290~_~_~_~_~_~>"You're gonna look so good taking care of my kids, stud~">Sunset's legs tightened around you as you thrust into her>The girl was on her back>You were on top of her, cupping her face as she played with your butt>"Come on," she whispered. "Knock me up with that nice, big dick. Make me a momma. If you don't I'm gonna make you keep fucking me.">You hilted her>Sunset let out a groan, eyelids fluttering>"Come on. Stop messing around and cum, stud," she begged, nipping at your neck. "Fill up this unicorn with your human seed~">A few sloppy, jerky thrust later, you gave Sunset her wish>The girl let out a moan as you began to unload inside of her>Get legs clamped down around you, forcing you to hilt, forcing you to stay inside of her as she milked you>This orgasm seemed a lot longer than most you've had today, and by the end of it you had sunk against Sunset>When you eventually came to, your head was on one of her tits>Sunset was running a hand through your hair, looking down at you with an expectant expression>"Soooooooo... you wanna go again?" she asked, wiggling her hips
>>34312303LAP at it again
>>34312303~_~_~_~_~_~ >Twilight let out a squeak>Her glasses were sitting on the nightstand by the bed--she didn't want them broken; the nerd>Because of this, she was squinting as you slowly thrust into her>Each time you did, she make a noise>Her arms were wrapped tightly around your middle>She didn't seem to know what to do with her legs>"Hah~ Does... do I feel good, Anon?" she whispered>You caressed her face>Rarity had told you-- "In confidence dear, so please keep quiet"--that this would be Twilight's first time>You weren't a porn star by any means, but even you could see that this was case>Her movements were stiff and unfamiliar>She was either trying to hold back her moans or mumbling nonsense>She also seemed very, very embarrassed"You're great, Twi," you said, kissing her. "I'm gonna cum soon.">Twilight's eyes widened>"M-Me too..." she said>You picked up the pace>Twilight let out a squeak, holding onto dear life>When the two of you found your climax it was together>Twilight let out a scream, digging her nails into your back as she thrash and bucked like an angry bull>Somehow, you found yourself on your back with her on top of you, the world spinning>Twilight, cracking a smile, let out a giggle before giving you a kiss
>>34312315~_~_~_~_~_~>Be Caramel>It was Monday morning>You were sitting in the lunchroom of Canterlot Community College, looking through Horse-Twitter>As you were scrolling away, something caught your eye>Looking up, you saw Anon, Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Sunset>The girls surrounded Anon, all laughing and joking with each other>Anon himself looked haggard, barely able to carry his backpack>As he got closer, you saw something around his neck>It was a necklace>It no doubt had the mark of every girl around him>The sight made you smile>Looks like everything went well>The pills you gave Anon must have worked>Would have worked better if your dumb cousin would have told you that she was scouting Anon beforehand, but it's fine>Anon might have been a little... strange, being an earthling and all, but he was a really good guy>Not like that fucking SLUT Thunderlane>They'd make a good group if Anon could keep them in line>If those girls played their cards right Anon might be your cousin!>A smile came to your face as they walked past>Anon, seeing you, waved as best as he could>You'd need to ask him about the juicy details later
>>34312328breddy geud, Glad your still wrightfagging for us LaP
>>34312282>tfw RD is a one-pump-chumplel
>>34312282D'aw, Dash a cute.>>34312303OHFUCKThanks for writing, LaP.
>>34312328>Fucking powerup pills that increased Anon's stamina bar tenfoldI wanna know who that stallion's dealer was.
>>34312508I agree but at this point it's pointless bitching about it, just do what i do and mentally replace everything with the pony equivilant.
>>34312604>Celestia secretly lewding you at some boring stuffy noble function she's forced to attend.
>>34312613>hfw anon wears clothes all the time.>clothes which successfully hide the glow and sound of most spells.>hfw he talks about joining the guard as a way of repaying his accomdation at the castle, and because the armor is 'cool as all heck'>hfw she gets to live out her secret fantasy of fitting the guard in sexy outfits.
>>34312604>>34312613>>34312656>She jerks you off with magic.>No one at the Gala notices, and almost none know how to read a human's rather inexpressive face.>But she does. She sees the twitching on your face and the subtle bucks if your hips into her magic. She knows you love every moment even if it's embarrassing.>Finally, you bite your lip and bust an enormous nut.>Celestia catches every drop in a magic bubble then teleports it into her mouth.>She makes a show of catching your eyes them swallowing, letting you watch the lump of cum travel down her long throat.>Then you see the bottom of your pocket glow with a little bit of magic.>Curious, you dip some fingers in, and at the bottom you touch something warm, wet, and fleshy.>The still smiling Celestia suddenly twitches and flicks her tail.>...No.>You put your index and middle finger all the way to the bottom and prod the fleshy opening, making it twitch in sync with the Sun Princess.>Across the hall, Luna smiles at you and winks, the magic around her horn going out.
>>34312795>Actual pocket pussyLuna's been in Anon's deams
>>34312604I just made a shitty edited version if you want.
>>34313058https://pastebin.com/07F9gt3SIt starts at the lewd and is a shitty edit.
>>34312795There was an AiE story years ago, but it was abandoned and unfinished. Anonymous was going to marry... I think it was Purplesmart. Celestia wanted to meet Anon to determine his worthiness. So during dinner she telekinetically molested him and edged him the whole time, because lol I have no idea, I guess it was someone's fetish.
>>34312795I too, have read that comic.
>>34312303>they deleted that pic off the booru.
>>34313275Thankfully the pony archive backed it up: http://www.theponyarchive.com/archive/derpibooru/1508000/1507648__questionable_artist-colon-my+pet+tentacle+monster_sunset+shimmer_blushing_breasts_busty+sunset+shimmer_commission_dress+shirt_embarrassed_expl.jpeg
>>34313275>Rule 3: not MLP relatedNigger, that is a character from the series flashing her titties. For fuck's sake, I've seen furry trash on that site where the only thing providing a single chain link between it and MLP is how the buff gay neon wolf that's getting fucked in the ass is wearing a t shirt with Pinkie Pie on it.>>34313311Good man.
I need more earth ponies digging holes.
>>34313547>I need more earth ponies digging holes.>you look out the window>it's barely light and they've already started singing>"I am a pon and I'm digging a hole">"Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole">you wouldn't mind, but you're trying to sleep in
>>34313719"Why are you even singing that?">"Well, I needed to come up with something funny and sort of light hearted."
>>34313380Dude, what gets me is they don't even follow the rules, they do as they please. Like, you can have a canon character that doesn't look 100% on and they'll remove it in one and not in another. Like ffs, idk how OC species picture even relate to mlp but you can find a assload on there. I think the most opinionated tag on that is OP is A duck or OP is trying to start shit. If you don't agree with the mass then it goes there.
>>34313750Luckily I only go there for the porn and the RGRE stuff that nignogs posts.
>Homeless Anonpone>Ponies naturally repelled by you, you feel unnatural as a pony>Even nice ponies don't want to help you>At least you're a pegasus, so you can live in some cloud>Be a street performer>Get a few bits>Bits buy the food>Dance or starve, little roachie>Have trouble making friends because you're a fucking clown>Can't get a real job because that catty faggot Mr. Cake went and gossiped about you and said you were a sloot
>>34313759Fucking right? /mlp/version of derpi when?
>>34313783>Not being a prostitute and end up knocking up the whole damn town.get gud.
>>34313783Ptfg would be more your speed my dude. They eat that up.
>>34313783> Have a bad week> Struggle to fly back to your cloud house> Fall in kiddiepool and die> Your spirit lingers, unsatisfied> Haunting a small toy ship, you have become the hoblooterponanon
>>34313783I'm still going to point this out again since you're forgetting that this is Reversed Gender Roles Equestria, and as such Anonpone would be the fairer sex in this questria with him being a colt/stallion, meaning he wouldn't have to go through most of the same troubles a homeless mares would if she was in the same position, such as there would be social programs to help stallions like Anonpone here, where they would give him a place to stay, food and even help him get a proper job if possible. Now let me ask you this, how many homeless women do you see out there on the streets IRL compared to how many men there are out there? And to sort of answer that question for you yes, I do know there are a some out there, but it's mostly a choice on their part rather than a lifestyle or how things are for men. All I'm saying is that Anonpone would just have to look around and ask for some help and he could stay in at a "stallion shelter" and have the government's tax dollars pay to get Anonpone back on his feet, life is a lot easier than your the fairer sex Anon.
>>34312328That was fantastic. Of course, I always love it when Anon herds up with all of the mane6/7. Good on Carmel looking out for Anon.
>>34313783>Ponies naturally repelled by you, you feel unnatural as a ponyIf I were to write something like this, I'd have the reason for ponies being unnerved by Anon be that he lacks body language that they instinctively have and recognize.Anon's ears, for instance, don't fold back when he's feeling low or scared, or perk up when he's excited. They just remain motionless unless he focuses on moving them, and even then, he can only manage uncoordinated wiggles.Anon is also not used to controlling a pony body, like suddenly being quadrupedal, which results n him walking very robotically and stumbling a lot when he gets distracted. His speech might even sound a little garbled because he's not used to the shape of his mouth.Heck, maybe he even lacks a cutie mark, which all combined creates an uncanny valley effect for ponies that just make him unsettling to be around.>>34313921They probably would have programs to help stallions, but not because they're the fairer sex exactly.It would more be that the skewed gender ratios means that a stallion not doing his part to maintain Equestrian birth rates is considered a very bad thing and so for the sake of the continued health of the kingdom, stallions are protected. Sperm banks and impregnating mares without stallions who still want foals is probably a good way for stallions without jobs or herds to make a decent living.
>>34313997>the only one who doesn't mind is Derpy>because she can't tell the difference>>34313921Becoming the fairer sex won't fix any problems one might have. That depression isn't going anywhere. Nor is the lack of social skills. Making friends could actually get harder - though that's up to the author since it's magical happy pony land.Moondancer wasn't exactly free of issues now was she?
>>34313997>anonpone has pony autism.>doctors and some nurses recognise the rare condition and try to tell others to be patient with him.>psych ward at ponyville has a room for him but as he's considered mentally sound he cant be forced to stay.>that same autism drives him to be incredibly stubborn on the issue.>nurse redheart gets the occasional job of coaxing him back for testing and remedial social lessons with the promise of free food.>and while the majority of ponyville is wary of him, they trust their doctors enough to help enforce the restraining order on the mane6 + starlight after their disastrious attempt at 'fixing' the 'friendship problem'.>the sight of him cowering under a park bench, wearing a ripped overcoat covered in frosting, eyes screwed shut, tail between his legs and hooves pressed flat to his ears was enough for some residents to realise that, although very strange and uncomfortable to be around, at the end of the day he is still a pony.
>>34313997>They probably would have programs to help stallions, but not because they're the fairer sex exactly.You're basically saying one thing and then saying another in your argument here, you're right in that stallions are to be protected especially with the skewed gender ratio that Equestria has, but if all you can see is a stallions going through a rough time in their live as "just sperm a donor or to just be used to impregnate mares without stallion" then the stallions in that Equestria would refuse to do their job as stallions and pressure the questrian government for more equal rights, such as having help to get proper job if a stallion is herdless and needs a way to take care of himself until then he has one, or if a stallion is homeless or even worst is coming out of an abusive relationship and has no other place to go then "stallion shelter" would still be a think and Anonpone can still get the help he needs.
>>34314036Good setup as long as ponies don't know Anon is a human and he keeps it himself because they already think he's crazy enough as it is>Anon is a pretty normal guy.>At least he was before he somehow got turned into a pony and sent to a world of magic and rainbows.>Or maybe he's never been normal at all, since he thinks he's handling this surprisingly well and probably better than a wholly sane man should>He's only had a couple breakdowns and has kept his wits relatively about him.>At least the ponies are nice, if not a little condescending.>They seem to think he's some sort of mentally handicapped autist just because he has some trouble with words and locomotion.>How 'bout he sticks them into human bodies and thrusts them onto Earth and see how well they adjust.>Not half as well as he has he'd wager.>He'd never point this out, of course.>They think he's a bit strange now, but have been okay with leaving him free rein over his life.>He starts saying he's an alien trapped in a pony's body and that offer of a room at the psych ward might be turned into a demand and upgraded to the padded suite.>On the pony end of things, they only feel sadness from their observations of the poor stallion.>Wandering into town out of the blue, all alone and scared.>There have been attempts at finding his family, or even just a friend, but there's been nothing.>It's as if nopony knows Anon, or even cares that he's missing.>What sort of family did he come from?>Perhaps his impaired speech and walking isn't from autism so much as it is severe neglect.>Locked in a small room with little space to move about and given minimum contact with the outside world could cause similar disabilities as autism.>It's purely speculation at this point, but as Anon continues to refuse speaking about his past and his fear of being contained persists, it's sounding more and more plausible.>To some, Anon's mannerisms seem disturbing, but to the doctors, it speaks only of tragedy.
>>34313783>>34314036>>34314272I like thing.
>Princess Celestia caught crossdressing!would mares wearing their hyoo-man friend's hoodies count as crossdressing, and thus dyke-y?
A little idea I had as I was reading Overlord. Modified from another post to fit RGRE>In the not-so-distant future, video games with neural interfaces are all the rage.>It lets you BE inside the game with a level of realism only surpassed by actual life.>Of course, someone made a My Little Pony MMO>It wasn't licensed by Hasbro, but was made by fans who recreated a living, breathing Equestria as best they could.>They added everything they could. Old MMO mechanics like combat, dungeons, and raid bosses, to more social things like player homes/towns, domestic skills and events, tons of cute NPCs, and a deep social system for said NPCs.>RGRE was a niche social and RP focued server, but that didn't stop you from maxing your characters.>It was life in Equestria however you wanted it.>You were a player from the very beginning and maxed out several characters in the niche RGR server. You had seen and done incredible things and were near the top if not at the very top of leaderboards all over with your main pony.>Everyone knew you. The devs even added NPC dialogue and world lore about you.>Thats why you felt like dying when Hasbro finally issued a Cease and Desist on the game. They waited until the player numbers had started waning before taking action as to minimize backlash.>The devs and fans tried to stop them at any cost, but when Hasbro began threatening lawsuits, the devs had to fold.>They announced with heavy hearts that Equis: The Game would be shutdown in one month at midnight.>Most players jumped ship, but you didn't. This game was the world to you.1/2
>>34314680>So on the final night, everyone was gone but you.>You just stood in Ponyville, looking up at the digital moon as it rose. A few NPCs milled about. You ignored any that tried to start one of the scripted conversations you'd heard a thousand times before.>You look at the corner of your hud.>12:00AM>12:01AM>...The logout never comes>"Anonymous? Are you okay? You've been standing there for hours and everypony is worried...">...Thats a new line.>You look to the mare who addressed you, seeing a worried Twilight Sparkle, the primary quest giver in the town.>How did she get out of her castle?>And worried? Twilight's face does not have a worried animation.>You scoff and figure it's a prank from a dev before the shutdown and try to log out yourself.>...Only to find that you can't. here isn't a logout button in your main menu.>The cool night wind blows through your coat, distracting you.>Hold the fuck up. The game can only process audio and visual, not tactile. The fuck is going on?!>You reach back to yank the neural link cable from your neck, but your hoof lands on a toned neck with only fur and a mane, not cable to be felt.>"A-Anonymous?">You look back to the now much more worried Twilight, who steps closer. "Are you okay? Please answer me.">A few other NPCs nearby watch nearby with varied expressions, expressions they don't have animations for."What... the fuck?">Twilight steps closer and puts a wing over your back, yet ANOTHER animation she does not have, trying to lead you towards the hospital in the distance. "C'mon Anonymous. Lets get you to Ponyville General.">Muscle memory you should not have takes over, and you walk seamlessly on four legs with her, too bewildered to resist.>What is going on?2/2
>>34314681Are you going to wrote more of this, writefriend?I would expect it to deviate from Overlord though.There is another thing... >alicorn Twilight
>>34314681>Isekai'd into VRMMO but its AiRGREMake a Mango out of it and people will suck this shit up like hungry orphans gruel.
>>34308505I question it now that I know that the kid who identified his dick said he was circumcised when MJ was intact.I'm not saying he's innocent of everything, just that it's up for debate in my eyes.
>>34314681>MindfuckeryEverything else is okay, but I'm gonna have to pass on that one chiefWell, that and alicorn twilight
>>34314743Classic is shit anon, you should embrace the change. The community is what made the old days, not the game
>>34314876>Mindfuckery.Do you mean the muscle memory thing?That's standard fare for "Suddenly transported to video game world but it's real." along with "Know how to do things that were previously done via menu"
>>34314883huh, didn't see the "muscle" bitcarry on then, though make sure to get those wing-tumors on best-unicorn's back checked out
>>34314880Looks like everyone else agrees with me, except you.As a wise man once said: Whatever floats your goat, bro.
>>34314681>Plot twist, there others who is now stuck in there.>Bunch of degenerates from all over the board:>Satyr, hhh, nothing more pure, those soccer enthusiasts, (you) name it! >They are all here oh and also that one inspector from hasbro, >the one that issued a Cease and Desist on the game, >she wanted to see how everything crumbed and ensure full shut-down>but she here is now.
>>34314953just to confirm we are talking about WoW right?
>>34314961Uhhh, no? What gave you the idea?
>Big dock energy
>>34314957Does she has a hoers benis now?
>>34315179No, but her NPC copy from marecock general has the equipment, you gave me idea, anons tend to create NPC`s like they create some sort of image macro, there several M.A.Larson`s copies around all thinking "i am original".
>>34313383I know this is a bit unrelated but I just wanna know if other people have similar experiences on E-Hentai.For some reason when I search with some tags it doesn't bring up any results, even though those exact same tags are used in a lot of comics.For example I can search for "sister$" and it brings up a lot of incest comics but when I search for "incest$" directly no results will be found.I'm just confused why it's not working as intended.
>>34315140I wonder if it's better to have more or less of the dock showing through the hair for a mare. Maybe having a lot of the dock showing is a sign of mare pattern baldness.
>>34315200I guess that is a thing sites do now to ensure that search engines cant find copyright infringement content or suppress an ideology, same thing happened for me on twitter, i was searching borderline pirated content.
>>34315200>find tag you're interested in story you like>click on tag>select Show Tagged Galleries>fapThere you go, anon. That's how you sad panda.
>>34315302That is the same thing as searching, and I tried that as well with the same result.
>>34314363No she was wearing it because her wearing clothes turned Anon on.
>>34315412then why not wear something actually designed for mares?
>>34315521>Celestia is upset>Stallions all want a strong mare>A pegasus with powerful wing muscles that can propel them at high speeds.>A unicorn with the leg muscles necessary to brace herself for the magical kickback of each spell she casts.>An earth pony with the stamina and durability that comes from a life time of doing things the hard way.>A mare with teats that only swell up when she's nursing her foals.>A mare with a flat rump that makes it easier for the stallion to penetrate deep.>All Celestia has are these big fat teats that are painfully noticeable because of her larger stature and height, and a round ass that jiggles every step she takes.>The only stallions who want her are the ones who are in love with the idea of becoming royalty, rich, or both>"Who in their right mind would think my hideous body is attractive?">Enter Anon, who is staying at the castle at the moment>Celestia thinks she's just imagining things at first>A stallion (albeit a human one) who keeps looking at her rump?>A stallion who adjusts his human pants whenever her teats come into view?>But one night, after a bottle or two of wine for some liquid courage (alicorn magic burns through alcohol with the same efficiency it reserves for other poisons), she confronts Anon>Next thing she knows, it's morning time>She's in her bed chambers>The bedsheets are everywhere>She's sore>She's sticky>She's uncomfortably damp>And she has a hangover>Celestia has just enough time to register the human she has wrapped up and pressed against her chest (and more importantly, her tuft) before Luna barges in to inform her that she raised the sun for Celestia when she did not wake up at her normal time>Breakfast is an awkward affair that day.
>>34315675Very generic, but I enjoy the thought of alicorns existing only for men.
>>34314681Does Anon have to be a pony? I mean, I'm not gonna REEEEE TF! REEEEE! But in preference can he be human? Pony Anon wearing a coat just makes me imagine a really cringey oc. If not that's okay, just a request.
>>34315521>Not liking the idea of your chest tuft pushing against Anon's hoodie as his eyes are dragged to it.>Not teasing him with the fact he still has full access to you but it's still hiding just enough for imagination.>Not using the hood to hide what you're doing to him.Dyke.
>>34315675>Breakfast is an awkward affair that day.>"Luna.">"...">"Luna.">"...">"Hey, Lu-">"What!?">"Guess who got laid last night?">"Was it y-">"It was me!">"Yes. Well. Good for you.">"That's what he said! Haha! Up top!">"...">Luna begrudgingly gives her a high-hoof.>"And he was right! It was good for me!">"...Right.""Um, could someone pass the grapefruit?"
"Okay Moondancer we're both interested in some not so marely things so I've got an idea on how to get a colt.">"It's totally marely! There is literally nothing wrong with liking graphic novels. High school setting manegas are a perfect art form. Why does everypony have to be so judgemental.""They won't be judging anything when we score ourselves a real husbando.">"A real one?""Yep!">"...3DPD.""Hey unless you want to be cleaning clits for the rest of your life, you better get used to the idea of an extra dimension.">"Ugh, fine. What were you thinking?""There's a new colt in Ponyville called Anonymous. Here's a picture of him.">"Ew he looks like something out of that monster colt series. What was it's name?""It was Monkey Paw and isn't he perfect? Anon even plays pranks and has a janefilly attitude just like him.">"Is that dumpster fire excuse of a character really your husbando? You really need to raise your standards.""Pfft. Coming from the mare who reads the pedo bait.">"Whisper Wind is a thousand year old vampire that just so happens to look like a colt. It's not 'pedo bait' it's simply nuanced and refined.""Yeah sure. You want to try and pick up Anon in a herd or what?">"...Can he cook?""Of course, he's a colt.">"Cool, let's go see him."
>>34315940>"Of course, he's a colt."Someone's expectation are about to be smashed.And their weird horse pussy too.Moar.
>>34316028your opinion a shit
>>34315675>(and more importantly, her tuft)No.
>>34315701daily reminder that alicorns were MADE FOR BREEDING
>>34316109>Anon chugs an entire bottle of magic viagra and fucks the two of them for 24 straight hours>during that time there were wild solar flares, the tides were out of control, and other strange weather patterns>by the time they were done, they needed to rebuild an entire wing of Canterlot Castle>Celestia and Luna were also both pregnant with octoplets>Anon nearly died from severe dehydration but the smile never left his face
>>34316035"Hey, sorry about the simple meal, but I wasn't exactly expecting guests.">"Yeah sorry for coming on such short notice and the food is great isn't it Moondancer?">>"This is ramen.">"Yes it is! And it's very good isn't it?">>"Uh yeah. Did you use melted grape pops for the broth?""Yeah it adds some sweetness and a bit of a tang. I know I shouldn't have since I'm living on a bit of a budget right now, but the transition between dimensions is hell on my everything, so I try to make a tasty meal when I have the chance.">"Uh huh, well if you ever need money or a meal, feel free to come by. My castle is always open.""Thanks for the offer but I don't want to be a bother.">>"Hold on, are you dipping cheese poofs into your ramen?""Yep! It sends the flavors both ways.">"Oh that's-">>"I think I love you."
>>34316109>>34316148> Daily reminder that humans are for BREEDING> Chug an entire bottle of pharmaceutical fertility potion and get megagigaprega-nant> Be an alpha mare and give birth to octuplets, just firing them out of your womb and into his arms> The next few months are pure chaos, as your foals burst with wild magic, but Anon's foal-chasing legs don't quit> Those beautiful gamgams relentlessly running down teleporting unicolts, supersonic pegasatyrs, and freight train earth fillies> Admittedly, you're run ragged right beside him, but when your entire family has formed a cuddly pile, you can't stop smiling
>>34316270That was a ride and a half. It wasn't helped by the fact that I read maruchan as mare cum.
>>34316148>>Celestia and Luna were also both pregnant with octopletsThis sounds great. Glad there's plenty of maids around to give a little help.
>>34316339Here's one from /cock/
>>34316283>pegasatyrsOther than that it's good.
>>34316404> Colty mare can't handle xenobiological hybrid offspring> Meanwhile, I, an alpha mare, am going for another round, focusing my will into making the next batch a bunch of centaurs
>>34316423Nah dude seriously. I just want to avoid that because the thread has been good so far and don't want people fighting.
>>34316349>>34316363It's a damn wonder humans are still around with people like this. At least idiots are good for a laugh.
>>34316439Then don't bring it up? Retard.
>>34316439That's fair. I just like the idea of RGRE mares having similar shitposts, but with their own tastes and preferences.
>>34316448True. Mares probably just see us as silly with our shitposting.>>34316447Are you new? People always bring it up, and instead of waiting for someone else to bite and go on a complaining spree I'd rather just ask to avoid it.
>>34316459What? You mean random shitposters will pretend to have conniptions to derail a thread? Who would do such a thing?
>>34316465>will pretendYou know, I always wondered on that. Like, some could be fake, but with how determined people are they may actually just dislike it.But I digress, let's stay focused and talk about these two silly mares.
NEW BREAD WHERE?PANIC
>>34316494There is no thread. This is the end.
>>34316494Be the baker you were meant to be.
>>34316498i don't wanna let go
>>34316494Here's some bread
>>34316485> Luna is an active poster in /x/, leaking some of the safer rituals from the Canterlot library> Collaborates with other autistic mares to design a targetable interdimensional portal> After years of failure, she finally succeeds, opening a path to her husbando, the background character Uncle Nemo> Unfortunately, she finds him "tending" to one of his horses> Of all the stupid fan theories, why did this one have to be right?> She struggles, torn between the hope of meeting her husbando for real, and the knowledge that he is not as pure as she thought he was
i can't believe this is the last RGRE thread ever...
>>34316515Meh, no loss.
>>34316494We're on page 4, you fucking autist. We don't need fresh bread. You've still got bread on your plate.
>>34313804There's Rainbooru but the problem is it's exactly like /mlp/ i.e. a festering shithole. At least the mods are chill and dont care, it's just last I checked it was filled with foalcon and watersports on the front page.
>>34314957>Bunch of degenerates from all over the board:You forgot those plane pony folks.
>>34316075That's a new one.Gotta love that adorable NEET