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Previous Thread: >>33997377

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYs

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:https://pastebin.com/z3CWqhnG

Prompt Archives:
https://pastebin.com/GAa4Wunt
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Woah ho ho ha God Save the Queen
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>>34012398
>"Hello there, earthlings."
>"As a way for our worlds to come together, I've decided to celebrate one of your national holidays."
>"From what I've been told, you drink quite a lot on this day, as well as shoot off fireworks and fornicate."
>"It sounds like a wonderful holiday."
>"If it works I'm sure it'll be a day every Equestrian wishes to celebrate with you."
>>
>>34012410
is that a hotdog or is that a dick with mustard on it?

That should sting.
>>
>>34012398
No one does garter belts like this artist, we need more garterbelts in pony art.
>>
I haven't been following the thread for a long time. Has there been any stories with Equestria Girls interacting with "normal" humans?
>>
>>34012418
there've been a few, most notably LaP's "Poor little human boys"
>>
> Luna is worried about this horsenet thing
> A great many ponies stay up late while using it, so she feels it falls under her jurisdiction
> She does her best to learn about it, and assigns her idle night guards to monitor what ponies use it for, to make sure nothing bad is going on
> So while Luna fumbles with this "goggle" search engine, her night guards are paid to keep track of what porn ponies watch, among other things
> One of them accidentally leaks this state of affairs to horsechan
> Ponies talk about making their night guardsmare worry about their porn tags
> Anon doesn't believe any of it until his growing appreciation for BBT (Big Bat Teats) in porn gets a very special visitor
> Technically, the batmare would be facing some severe punishments if Anon makes a fuss, but she has two big, juicy reasons why he won't
>>
>>34012474
Luna is not a fucking commie
>>
>>34012410
God I want more bodypaint Celestia.
>>
>>34012474
>Luna creates a dating site that provides suggestions based on the type of porn users watch
>her guards may or may not prioritize the suggestion of sworn guardsmares
>>
Boop cute horses
>>
>>34012474
>NEETs and other denizens of the night start to treat Luna as their patron saint or something and start calling her Moon Mommy
>Luna is flattered at first, then disturbed, and then eventually comes to terms with it and grows into a notorious master shitposter
>>
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>>34012504
>it accidentally leaks into her real life
>by the day's end, not a single citizen of Canterlot doesn't know about the Princess of the Moon verbally abusing some poor colt in broad daylight.
>>
>>34012504
>Moon Mommy
>not Moot
>>
>>34012414
Too bad he's a gigantism loving faggot.
>>
Fight the matriarchy
>>
>>34012582
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>34012410
Image link please
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>>34012582
>Fighting the influence of our glorious overladies
>>
>>34012593
The archives are your friend, fag.
https://derpibooru.org/2083210
>>
>>34012413
think it's a hotdog with, like, cheeze whiz on it
>>
>>34012582
>not wanting to spend the day cleaning the house and fixing things your mares told you to let them handle
>not wanting to greet them at the door and watch little hearts form in their eyes
>not wanting to cook for your mares and watch them eat like it's the first meal they've had in a month
>not wanting to drape them over your lap and massage all the stress and tension out of them one by one
>not wanting them to do the same to you
>not wanting to fluster them by lifting up their front half from behind and giving them a tuft ruffle belly rub special
>not wanting them to ride you until their wombs are pumped full of your seed, and then some
>not wanting to do this every single night until it takes
>not wanting to fall asleep with a blissful mare under each arm and one lain across your chest
>not wanting to hear each of them say "I love you" and give a parting kiss before they hesitantly step out the door on the way to work
>not wanting to repeat this every day
>>
>>34012747
Yeah what a fag
>>
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>>34012747
I do not wish to do this

I wish to fly
>>
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>>34012880
>get transported to Equestria
>changed into a pegasus stallion
>hate it
>but love the wings
>do nothing but fly and travel, never make friends, never settle down
>live off the land wherever you touch down before taking off again and flying a world away just to do it all again
>end up getting 'marked' on the Friendship Map
>wake up in a field one day to a hot air balloon full of mares chasing you down
>end up on a chase all throughout Equestria and beyond
>>
>that time that the cutie map forced 6 national heros to alter the entire value structure of their civilization to be less constricting in order to enable social interaction with a nomad stallion flying barbarian savage.
>>
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>>34012747
Yes please i would like this very much, alhough there's only one mare i have in mind for doing all that with.
>>
>>34013035
The fucking map sends them on dumb shit 'quests' all the time.
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>>34012398
Octavia is a very nice mare.
>>
>>34013086
With a very appealing underbelly.
>>
>>34013019
Sounds like that would be a hell of a story

>The chase continues as even the famed Rainbow Dash can't keep up.
>Not because of sheer speed between the two, but the hard turns and various changes in terrain that leads to the mare being caught in tree sap.
>It takes Twilight using Pinkie Pie as a focus to properly even track the stallion as he has SO many birthday parties that need to be given.
>>
>>34013157
I imagine a stallion that spends the majority of his life doing nothing but flying would be a very expert flyer indeed.
>>
>>34013161
in stamina, at the very least
I imagine he probably drags them through terrain that, while not exactly challenging to navigate, is very tiring for even an experienced flyer and nearly impossible for something like a hot air balloon
>>
>>34013161
>>34013170
Any idea on what the girls would say to the guy to get him to give friendship a chance?
>>
>>34013174
>EYY BBY YOU WANT SOME OF THIS CUNT
>>
>>34013019
>>34013157
>no matter how far he flies or where he goes he can't hide
>the map tracks him perfectly no matter what
>he gets a day, maybe two days reprieve before they inevitably catch up to him again
>constantly harassed by these six mares
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>>34013184
>tfw just want to fly and live in solitude in peace but a group of insane mares won't leave you the fuck alone
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>>34013184
>>34013211
>only really has contact with two of them, one being Rainbow since she's the only one that can keep up, often trying to flat out tackle him out of the air
>the other being Fluttershy who has a habit of sneaking up on him while he's sleeping and gently waking him up to try to convince him to come back to Ponyville with them
>>
>>34013176
>>34013184
>During the trip the girls each begin to learn a new lesson about the stallion.
>Pinkie has the lesson from Cranky hammered in again, leaving behind a cupcake for the hungry pony.
>Rainbow Dash learns more flight tricks of terrain and a new appreciation of flying from the stallion earning her respect.
>Rarity's attempts at wooing the stallion fail horribly, but the rejection and subsequent tears showed a rather gentle side to the stallion as he left a bouqet of flowers.
>Fluttershy simply stayed with the stallion only offering to let him talk with her if he wanted, which he did relent on talking about some of his day.
>Twilight wound up going near rage inducing levels of autism from his antics before relenting and saying is there anything he could want from civilization to which he replied a book would be nice, but trouble arouse as he doesn't know how to read their weird horse words.
>>
>>34013286
this is nice

i like this
>>
>>34013286
>>Rainbow Dash learns more flight tricks of terrain and a new appreciation of flying from the stallion earning her respect.
Makes me want to get back into warthunder. Speeding by through trees in a me262 a1/u1 and nailing a enemy tank only to make a quick excape again. God that was fun.
>>
>>34013286
What about Applejack? She's not on the list, is there a reason for that?
>>
>>34013334
she sees him as the arch-sky-zigger, always flying around an not making anything of himself
or he would be, if he was a mare and stealing colts, but he isn't so that's a few points at least
>>
>>34013238
>still tells them to leave him alone
>>
>>34013334
Was in the middle of cleaning and sorta thought I already wrote her bit

>Applejack pities the stallion as he doesn't have anypony as family to treat as his own nor anything to keep him grounded. Instead of trying to tell him what to do she'll offer instead that if he needed a place to say just any Applekin for a tree to stay since he doesn't like most ponymade buildings. They'd be more than happy to adopt the stallion into the family so he weren't so lonely.
>>
>Have 'tavi as waifu
>Be an Argie
Oh well
>>
>>34013380
I'm sure she would love you just the same even if you are an Argentinian
>>
>>34013329
>warthunder
>me262 a1/u1

Great taste, flying CAS can be pretty fun sometimes
So trash that after 5 years of playing on and off, I still don't have any jets
Just fuck my shit up f a m
>>
>>34012545
>2019
>not liking your mares 20 stories tall and murdering civilians

Plebeian
>>
>"Your son calls me mommy too, you know."
>>
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>Be Anon and the Bandons
>Sittin' on the stoop cause none of you have real jobs
>Shoot shit about books, girls, vidya, w/e
>See pic related dragging her miserable flank down the street
"Yo, Bloom! You a'ight?"
>Little pony jumps, suddenly notices you all
>Sniffs
>"Ye-yeah. It's nothin'..."
>Pseudo, your drummer, can't keep his fucking mouth shut
>"Don't look like "nothin'.""
>Filly insticts kick in, Bloom will not be fathered by a bunch of random porch monkeys
>"Well it AIN'T!", puncuated with a little hoof stomp
"Alright, it's nothin'."
>You agreeing shuts her up, but she's still suspicious of you and clearly mad. Time to do what you do best
"But you can't leave until I see a smile."
>Apple pout intensifies
>"Don't feel like it..."
"Bet we could make you."
>"Bet you can't!"
"Bet."
>You start, leading your bros into this: [YouTube] Tarzan - Trashin' The Camp (Phil Collins feat. N'Sync) (embed)
>>
>>34013521
Mother fucker, the fucking link. This post is a curse. Post in the wrong thread, now I lost all my fucking formatting cause I copy-pasted. Fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtRxwH7OH-U
>>
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are there any stories or fics where mares are way stronger than humans?
like if they don't control their strenght they could potentially break your bones type of strenght.
>>
>>34013521
Fatherly band of Anons sounds like a cute premise
>>
>>34010886
Ouch... I know it was just a blurb, but damn.
>>34012582
Fight the matriarchy if you want, but don't resort to violence. That just reinforces mares' beliefs that stallions are irrational and misbehave without a strong mare keeping them in line.
>>
>>34013420
I honestly don't blame you. I just wait for blackfriday to buy the premium. Really fun game, but top tier is garbage, and America has best fighters for guns, but I like my narwhal because it's just much more fun to shoot them with a tank shell than it is to press one button to drop a bomb then fly back to airfield from more to repeat. Of course you got crybabies who hate cas because they stop them from camping. But in all honesty I'd like to see how ponies react to Anon target practicing by diving and releasing a wood spear to hit a target.
>>
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>>34013629
I remember writing that earlier in the year. It was a neat idea I was trying to finagle with to semi-justify that pic related I had included, but I couldn't figure out a way to continue with the idea. It just plain wasn't a concept that had a significant impact on the universe, since the entire world just scaled up in terms of strength and weight - ponies were 600lbs of dense muscle and bone and retained their normal recognizable dimensions, but their buildings were already reinforced, all 3 races were equally scaled up, and everyone was operating on a level playing field - except for Anon. All it really did was put Anon in a world where everything could hurt him (oftentimes unintentionally) and he couldn't really do much. I guess you could wrangle something together where Anon has to rely on mares for help, or they use their superior strength to justify their sexist views that he (as a male) is less capable than they are.

If I hadn't taken it to an extreme level (a tiny regular-sized crotch-height mare being 450 lbs of muscle and bone being considered noticeably underweight), I might have been able to make things juuuust different enough that Anon might struggle to do things that mares can do, but only not to the extent where doing literally anything for himself might result in his death or injury. Maybe the mares were 1.5x to 2x strong as a human, and so the doors were made of thick heavy oak that he had to put his back into when he opened them. Something that didn't limit the author to "Anon tries to do a thing and now he broke his arm because ponies and pony-used objects are heavy as shit". Something that offered legitimate obstacles to Anon that he'd have to find a creative way to overcome, all while trying not to fuck up in front of a bunch of mares who would roll their eyes and reinforce their beliefs that Anon was a delicate pure-as-the-driven-snow, too-innocent-for-this-dyke-earth husbando who needed protecting.
>>
>>34013448
Doesn't RacconKun hide his nudes behind patreon?
>>
>>34013975
Yes, unfortunately.
>>
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well i'm back after a week, and nice to see new content. also sorry I missed murica day, have the stupid little tempest green I wrote last year
>>34003188
well phantoma that was quite the feelsy update. kind of hit home since my father is getting up there in the years and had surgery recently, so i'm starting to take a long hard look at how i'm gonna have to let go of my family when their time comes. looking forward to the next part(s), and thank you for your work
>>34011133
talk about a /chiseled/ figure
>>
>>34012504
>>34012540
Anon, I think that's a reference to papa nurgle, not that cuckhold.

That's actually something I can get behind. Neets, sickly, and undesirables stay indoors out of fear of the social implications the daylight brings and because Luna dotes over them in their dreams and when they're awake at night, they start to view her as the loving mother figure that's proud of them no matter what. Discord pops a chaos boner without knowing why when the crazier ones start a cult and try to spread the pestilence and sloth, while more and more ponies give up being out and about to sleep in and stay in the dream realm.
>>
>Twilight was an alicorn, and she was going to outlive her husband.
>The two had come to terms with this long ago, and decided to enjoy their time together to the fullest.
>Anon always told her that he'd want her to move on, that she deserved to be happy.
>They lived a long and happy marriage together, and even though it saddened her to watch Anon grow old and feeble, Twilight never left his side.
>For fifty-five years, they had each other, until finally, as they had vowed, death parted them.
>Just not how anyone had suspected.
>Twilight lived a dangerous life as an Equestrian hero, and not all the villains she defeated were fools.
>Just one truly malicious soul was all it took, and though she stopped their dastardly plans, it was not before she was inflicted by a lethal poison.
>The doctors did all they could, but their princess was slowly wasted away by the toxin.
>It was a miracle that Anon was able to be transported in time to see her in her last moments.
>He collapsed on shaky knees and held her hoof, eyes disbelieving as he looked upon his wife's wilted form.
>Weakly, she said her goodbyes, and repeated as many of his own assurances back to him.
>Live a happy life without me, don't be sad.
>Move on.
>When she passed, the old man crumpled, bringing the hoof to his forehead and wailing.
>Looking up at the doctor with a broken gaze, he speaks in a raspy voice.
"I've loved her for fifty-five years. She's my entire life. What... what am I going to do now?"
>The doctor was silent, too stunned to answer as the man went back to bawling.
>>
>>34014222
Why would you do this?
>>
>>34014222
Nice trips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D85284NRjzw
>>
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>>34014222
Then, when Anon is close to joining Twilight in death, some bullshit thing he apparently did causes him to become an alicorn, cursing him with immorality.
>>
>>34013211
>>34013019
>>34013329
The Mystery colt's cutie mark
>>
>>34014237
Just liked the idea of it.
That everyone would be so sure that the alicorns would outlive their husbands, that they don't even give serious thought to the alternative.
That Anon spend so much time and effort trying to ensure that Twilight would be mentally prepared to go on without him, that he wasn't prepared at all himself when he suddenly realizes he'll have to go without her.
It's like, we all want to be prepared emotionally when we know a loved one might die, but Anon never thought he'd need to be.
I'm sure he and Spike both, along with the other princesses, will all come together to try and cope with a loss they never thought they'd need to cope with.
Celestia and Luna would probably be facing a new life with their own mortality in mind from that point on.
>>
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>>34014289
OR
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>>34014315
>>34014289
>>
>>34014267
>Tfw it wasn't even intentional
>There was real magic niggadry with how a human brainworks when it's resigned to die versus the whole destiny thing the tree of harmony likes to impose on every creature that resides in Equestria.
>Just before he slips away he feels cold, then warm, then there's nothing.
>Nothing seems to matter anymore.
>No more plans, obligations, or checklists, a habit he picked up from his late wife.
>No more grief or despair.
>And unfortunately for him the trial destiny put him up to was that he needed to learn to let the death of his love and friends go.
>Anon's outrage at being cheated in reunion with his love in death, plus the fact that Alihummies look like faggot angels near makes him NMM2:Electric Boogaloo as soon as he realizes what happened.
>They say he REEEEEEEEE'd so hard he could wake the dead.
>>
>>34014380
Twilight and Shiny got fucked by gravebandits. Time to Fuck Candy and Her daughter.
>>
>>34014380
>>They say he REEEEEEEEE'd so hard he could wake the dead.
>he really did wake the dead
>Twilight rose from the grave because of how much of a bitch-fit her darling husband was throwing
>shambles her way into town looking the picture of health, save for all that joint pain the rigor mortis gave her and maybe a little sag from all those dirt naps, and tells him that she's here and to quit his wailing
>something something shocked then minor "nagging" about how dare SHE go and die on him, then silenced with an old-people kiss that has all the nearby fillies and colts gagging
>something something Anon wakes up in the middle of the night, half pushed out of bed, only to realize that they really are an old married couple now, immortality be damned
>>
>>34014222
you need to write more don't just leave it at that
>>
>>34014289
>>34014315
>>34014320

Following the lore for each squadron, maybe Cipher would fit the best, since he was betrayed by his best friend, that would add another reason as to why the map marked him.
Mobius is basically mute, but can work too.
Blaze in Razgriz always had buddies with him, so I don't think that would work out as well as the other two.
>>
>>34014412
>Mobius is basically mute, but can work too.
I like it
>>
>>34014412
>dash meets the protags of the ace combat series
>they're all pegasus stallion that can break the sound barrier
>and absolutely shred any hostile in the sky
>Dashoncouchsurrounded.jpg
>>
>>34014423
>>34014418
>>34014412
nah, it sounds better when he's just some neet flying around the world with crazy mares chasing him to "fix" his "problem"
>>
>>34014412
>Fliers on both sides of the Law feared and respected his weird and "demonic" flying techniques that they dubbed him the Demon Lord.
>Not to mention all those kills
>Tales of the Demon Lord has spread throughout Equestria
>Now these mares are chasing him for something.
>He just wanted to fly so much until he has some kind of atmospheric poisoning or probably burn from flying too fast dammit.
>>
>>34014464
>Neet stallion flying somewhat leaisurely.
>Mane six with their balloon being pulled by rainbow and fluttershy rise up out of the clouds.
"HEY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A FRIEND!"
>"I JUST WANT TO FLY IN PEACE DAMN IT.
"FRIENDS FLY TOGETHER!
>"THAT'S NOT PEACEFUL AT ALL.
"WE'VE GOT ANOTHER PEGASUS HERE THAT LIKES PEACEFUL FLYING hello AND SHE ALSO LIKES BIRDS.
"YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT BIRDS OF A FEATHER!"
>"FLOCK OFF ALREADY"
>>
>>34013184
sounds like a blast
>>
>It starts the same for most mares
>They just want to fool around with an exotic, sock-wearing stallion
>But then they start going to bars with mostly hyoo-man men
>Then they stop being interested in stallions
>Then they find themselves in a relationship with a human
>If the relationship doesn't go well, they continue to date humans
>More often than not, they really do enjoy the monogamous lifestyle, not going back to herding
>This is known colloquially as putting on the saddle for ponies
>Amongst humans, some who swear off human woman after a night with a mare, this is known as chasing the tail
>No one knows who's ruining who for their species
>>
>>34012398
God I want her to sit on my face
>>
>>34012398
>Garterbelt with skindentation
I WANT MORE OF THIS NOW!
>>
When was the last time that Frosty posted? Miss that guy
>>
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>>34014289
>>34014315
>>34014320
I love how /mlp/ went from mocking red and black brooding loner tragic backstory OCs to crafting one of their own with minimal prompting.
>>
>>34015034
Kek.

I agree with you, but depending on how you play AC:Z Cipher is far from an edge lord.

Kind of surprised it wasn't Solo-wing instead though.
>>
>>34015034
Not pictured in the other end of that spell deeply molesting a poor working Anon
>>
>>34014774
>putting on the saddle
genius
>>
>>34015034
Eh. I don't recall Mobius One going through enough of a tragedy to be "sitting in the dark corner of the bar wearing a black hooded coat" tier edge. Nor Gryphus One or Garuda One, if we decide to expand beyond the trinity.
>>
>>34012398
Has anyone checked out SSTH’s pastebin? They made a new paste titled “heya” and it’s just the word “heya” there
>>
>>34015099
Well, if SS&TH's is reading: Hai 2 u too.
>>
>>34013962
you nailed it, anon being practically a "glass man" and pretty much helpless...at first.
we humans constantly change so if anon remains in a magical world for long enough he will start to get stronger and faster by default, the magic in his diet and air will improve everything and heal faster, slowly anon will become from weak hikkikomori to peak human and maybe further, but still be considerably weaker than ponies.
though he may live longer.
I would love to watch anon getting a little bit stronger until he actually becomes /fit/ wet dream.
>>
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>>34015108
>the magic in his diet
I immediately pictured him fellating Twilight's horn.
>>
So is buttstuff considered emaresculating for mares or is it just a fetish
>>
>>34015087
Didn't want to make a massive multi-reply to the entire prompt with Peganon desperately trying to keep up his isolation lifestyle even in Equestria.
But you have a definite point.
>>
>>34015114
>that small spitting panel
8/10 is the best I can do. Don't be a quitter, don't be a spitter.
>>
>>34015126
Panel placement is a bit weird but i think he spat for lube, horns do not secrete fluids.
>>
>>34015121
Not all mares like anal, but a good portion of them are into it.
It's the stallions that mostly don't like it. They think it's dirty and gross. Of course some of them *do* like it, but they're mostly quiet about it, because other stallions will mock/shame them for it.
>>
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Monarch Designation: Anon
Classification: Titanus Anonymous
Nature: BIO-FAGGOT
Body Height: 152ft
Range: UNKNOWN

A massive ape like, bi-pedal creature that came out of the Everfree during the Tirek Crisis. A layer of various unknown ores formed some sort of armor plating on It's skin, nullifying or at least rendering it almost immune to magic.
>>
>>34015295
something like this?
anon its coated with some form of material around his skin that makes him immune to magic?
like coating yourself with hydrophobic aerogel, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcdB5bFwio4
start at 3:44
>>
>>34015295
English motherfucker, do you speak it?
>>
>>34014289
>Tfw grow up dreaming of becoming a sniper or a pilot.
>Tfw have something called 'lazy eye'.
>Tfw get it fixed but brain doesn't use it still.
>Tfw had to go to school wearing a eyepatch in a attempt to fix it.
>Tfw they think it's fixed.
>Tfw go to sign up for the air force.
>Tfw need to do a eye exam.
>Tfw the lazy eye came back and I didn't notice.
>Tfw told I couldn't be a pilot, even commercial.
>Tfw told couldn't even be a sniper because of it.
>>
>>34015413
>Tfw can't be a badass sniper/fighter pilot with a cool eyepatch.
Man the old Air Force used to be so much cooler before their number 1 concern in combat became "safety" and "accuracy", and "risk management"
>>
>tfw no Starlight using her magic to do lewd things with you
>tfw you will never cum all over her face
>tfw she will never try to drain your balls for the Marx revolution
>>
>>34015504
>Starlight isn't as reformed as ponies think. She relapses often.
>She thinks her magic is working on you, but really you're just playing along.
>While lasers, fireballs, and things thrown by magic might hurt, mind altering magic has no effect on you for some reason.
>So to avoid Starlight going crazy again, you resign yourself to being a plaything so others don't catch her attention.
>Not that you're complaining about free sex. Despite being a villain, Starlight is still an extremely attractive mare.
>Then things get less lewd and more... Worrisome.
>You watch Starlight look at you sideways and flashes her horn, telling you she casted that mind controlling spell.
>You pretend to blink as if in a daze.
>"Alright Anon, come with me."
>She leads you back to your own house and let's herself in, beckoning you to follow.
>Starlight leading you to the bed and telling you to get in was no surprise. Her telling you to cuddle her was no surprise either, but what happened afterwards...
>The unicorn in your arms shivers. "A-Anon, hold m-me tighter."
>You do so, wondering what the waver in her voice is about.
>She presses her head to your chest and her whole body trembles. "W-Why do I do this? Why am I s-so pathetic? I'm a rapist..."
>She breaks down into sobs on your chest.
>... This got a little too real.
>>
Anyone think if I sell my bath water mares will buy it?
>>
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>>34015034
But I just wanted a stallion who flies, only flies. He's not brooding, he has no tragic backstory, he's just a loner who flies.
>>
>>34015653
only weird mares in their basement that wish they were born in neighpon, and the actual neighponese
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>>34015666
yeah but your picture had a black horse
black!
and it was dusk
clearly you were trying to be edgy
>>
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>>34015666
>tfw this would be me if I had a pair of wings
I'd do nothing but fly and disappear into the wilderness. What more would you need in life once given wings?
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hey guys, im finally back from the intense socialization ive done for the past 3 days
working on an assignment for summer classes but ill do a bit of the story on the side, expect something by tomorrow, maybe tonight if i get tired of the assignment fast enough, love y'all
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>>34014480
>>"FLOCK OFF ALREADY"
RGRE featuring Dante from Devil May Cry when
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>>34015435
I mean, I get it, I have no issues with depth perception, but with all the stuff you gotta focus on, missing a eye could fuck you over. Just kinda sucks. Who knows, maybe the future could fix it.
>>
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>>34015504
I want to tenderly fuck this mare and play with her phat earth pony-like ass. I bet she's a hard cummer, makes the fucked silly face and everything.
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dead
as
FUCK
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>>34015557
so...starlight would be akin to a creepy white knight in this story?
because we all know that if they had mind control powers they would abuse the shit out of it like tomaru.
>>
>>34015557
A foolish anon to be sure.
>>
>>34015413
Is your eye patch at least cool looking? Do you look like Solid Snake?
>>
>>34015788
>In Neighpon, there are vending machines that dispense used ball-bras
Why are the fucking japanese so goddamn weird?
>>
>>34016194
>2 hours between posts
We fucking dead.
>>
>>34014774
>Stallions and women have a bitch fit over getting left behind
>Decided to date each other to "get back" at the mares and men
>No stallion/woman relationship lasts a week
>Most have a "is that what it was like?" moment
>>
>>34016194
>>34016337
Congrats. All those years you faggots posted "ded board" and you finally got your wish.
>>
>>34016258
I want to be a NEET in neighpon so I can make money off selling mine
>>
>>34016344
that would be absolutely hilarious.
but unlike stallions I doubt women will accept the fact that they are the problem here.
>>
>>34016344
>>34016358
I dunno, horse girls (as in horse obsessed girls, not shim shams) exist, and would probably put up with a lot of shit from an actual stallion.
>>
>>34015435
I wasn't being sarcastic. I genuinely want to be an air soldier with a cool eyepatch
>>
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>RGRE ponies making friends in the wider galaxy
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>>34016388
>they meet IOM
>immediately die
bad end
>>
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>>34016388
i can't fucking play that game anymore. they had everything going for them up until first big public patch, forcing everyone to go hyperlanes instead of forcing newfags to actually LEARN to git gud. GOD FUCKING FORBID THEY HAVE AN ACTUAL CHALLENGE AND NEED TO STRATEGIZE
>>
>>34016388
Someone needs to make a closeup of Aj's face, xenophile, and mammalian.
>>
>>34016400
Same shit happened in WoW and that was like the best mmo we'll ever have. Instead of having players learn classes you can just buy gold/boosts with wow tokens. Shittieis timeline for ya
>>
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>>34013019
>Rather than some random Anon, it's the legendary Osean ace pilot (Hero of Ace Combat 5) Blaze who ends up in Equestria.
>Awakening in a strange body, he does what he does best and flies. Using wings of his own rather than a jet hinders him only for the first few times. Once he discovers his pegasus magic and painstakingly learns how to use it, he ups his performance almost up to jet-fighter levels.
>The first time he buzzed the Wonderbolt barracks lead to a chase that the Wonderbolts simply could not win. Blaze evaded them all with insane speed and impossible maneuverability before vanishing, escaping even the recently initiated Rainbow Dash. She would have had him had he not started using seemingly suicidal maneuvers, forcing Rainbow to disengage.
>During the chase, Rainbow got one good look in the eyes of the strange stallion, and it told her everything she needed to know.
>He's alone.
>Rainbow telling her friends of the strange stallion in the map room prompts the map to activate, leading the 6 on the most wild chase of their lives.
>>
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>>34016418
i wonder why. seriously fuck activision. they've grown to be as bad if not worse than EA
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>>34016444
i cant self insert to this
>>
>>34016444
>has a spell that lets him carry 80+ missiles in his wings
>he has a cloud shaped like the arkbird
>nagase is a qt griffon

This could work
>>
>>34015435
They run it "like a business" now. There's no actual need for them since wars are mostly army grunts getting blown up by IEDs. Fighter jets are complex as fuck now and pilots are already on the way out the door, gone are the days of dogfighting since everything can be fired remotely. Every jet is a stealth fighter now since the objective is to sneak in and blow shit up before the enemy can get their jets up.
>>
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>Ace Combat Anons in Equestria
>A bunch of autistic pegasi stallions come to Ponyville with simple combat spells
>Constant skirmishing in the skies
>Weather patrol is afraid to work because Rainbow Dash still has marks on her flank from that machine gun spell
>>
>>34016599
>Belkan Griffons
>>
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>>34016444
Solitary trips confirm we need some aces
>>
>>34016444
>>34016599
I feel like this has greatly strayed away from the original idea
>>
>>34016520
Not caring much for whatever this is, but this does remind me of a DnD thing someone did ones.
Guy gets an anti-magic ring that creates a very small anti-magic field only meant to be used to pick small, magical locks.
He fastens it on the end of a rifle, than has a wizard shrink a bunch of cannon balls to rifle ammunition size.
Whenever he fires his rifle, the bullet turns into a cannon ball as it leaves the barrel.
I want a story where Anon creates this deadly weapon.
Maybe he's part of that bird pirate's crew from the movie, and this is how he proves his worth.
>>
>>34016646
>Whenever he fires his rifle, the bullet turns into a cannon ball as it leaves the barrel.
Gotta compensate a bit so that it doesn't become overpowered. Like, it works perfectly and can shoot cannon balls at bullet speed, but the amount of energy necessary to launch cannon balls remains the same even if they've already been fired and are being magically unshrunk by the tip of the barrel. Some techno/magic-babble about the conservation of magical energy and there being no such thing as a dead zone, meaning that Anon's hit with the kickback of a blast powerful enough to shoot a cannon ball every time he fires the gun unless he uses a 'magical ground' to spit that magical energy into the soil at his feet. So he essentially has just a very portable cannon. Or something like that, I don't know - that's just some bullshit I came up with off the top of my head.
>>
>>34015653
>Tfw these pony tubs are too small and aren't really comfortable to bathe in for a human
>Shit hurts your back to lay in and you can't get in a good position
>Fortunately your good friend Fluttershy had insisted you come to bathe at her house being that her bathtub is larger than usual because of some of the bigger animals she has to bathe
>Shit, as long as it's not filthy with animal hair and grime, you would give it a shot
>You take her up on her offer and set up an appointment to use her tub
>You show up to her house and she escorts you to the bathroom
>Fluttershy took the liberty to prepare your bath ahead of time
>The tub is filled with warm fragrant water that is pinkish in coloration
>"Here you are Anon. I will leave you to your business. The towels are in the LEFT cupboard on the wall. Just let me know when you are finished and I will be right up. Enjoy your bath~! Fluttershy gleefully chirps as she exits the bathroom leaving you all alone
>What a nice kind pony
>With Flutters gone, you strip and take your first actually comfortable bath in months
>After soaking for a while and purifying your body of all the filth you step out of the tub
>You reach to the front of the tub in order to empty the water, however, you only feel the smooth surface of the tub
>Huh, now that you look at it, there is no spigot on the tub either
>Must be one of those old fashioned tubs
>You open the right cupboard on the wall in hopes of getting a towel to dry off, however much to your surprise the cupboard is full of empty canning jars
>Ok that's kind of odd, but then again there are lots of odd things here in pony land so whatever
>Trying the left cupboard, you find what your looking for and retrieve a towel
>>
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>>34016693
>After having gotten dried off and dressed you call for Fluttershy
>"Oh Anon, done already? How was your bath?"
"It was great Flutters! I feel like a brand new man! I definitely owe you one!"
>Fluttershy blushes a little and hides behind her hair "Oh, don't worry about it Anon, I'm just glad your happy. If you ever need to use my bath again, just let me know.
"Oh hey, I noticed your tub doesn't have a drain. Did you need help dumping out all that water?
>Fluttershy recoils at your offer "W-What!? Oh......uhhh.....its f-fine Anon! D-don't worry about it!" Fluttershy's eyes dart back and forth as her face becomes even redder
"Are you sure? It's a big tub, and there is a lot of water in there. I would feel kinda guilty if I just left you to deal with my mess."
>"O-oh no, really Anon it's okay! I-I have to uhhhhhhh.......give Angel a bath soon, s-so I cant empty the tub yet!"
"Uh, if you say so. Well thanks again Flutters, but I got some errands to run, so I'll see you around!" You say as you make your way out of her house
>Fluttershy sees you off and as soon as you are out of sight, Fluttershy lets out a sigh of relief.
>She makes her way up to the bathroom and removes one of the canning jars from the cupboard and fills it with the pink bath water
>Heading back over to the kitchen, Fluttershy pours the pink water from the canning jar into a nearby tea kettle and puts on a lit stove burner
>While the special water for her tea heats up, Fluttershy makes her way back up to the bathroom to begin bottling the rest of her product
>>
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>>34016693
>>34016697
>>
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>>34016693
>>34016697
What a l-lewd mare...
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>>34016697
Truly the greatest degenerate.
>>
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>>34016697
>>34016701
>>34016703


>Anon's soapless bathwater makes a good base for pony tea because of his natural saltiness. Ponys like Lyra, Moon Dancer, Rarity, and Celestia cant get enough of the stuff.
>>
>>34016714
>Human's on his belly
>Fluttershy approaches from behind
So is just happy that she found a flank she can bounce a bit off of, or?
>>
>>34016715
>Ponies are behaving completely lewd and Anon thinks something's up
>Collecting his soapless bathwater, gathering his underwear, rolling in his clothes, etc
>Turns out they all have 100% innocent reasons for doing what they're doing
>Except for the very last mare, who is incredibly lewd and is full on perving on him
>>
>>34016400
Just fucking crank your damn hyperlanes to max if you want warp.
>>
>>34016697
Lost when I realized where it was going. Somepony's going to have to call a horsebulance.
>>
>>34016667
>gotta compensate
Why? That's dumb clever, why would you hamper player creativity? Aside from that that's a poor nerf anyway since it's not very intuitive and that's not consistent with how that spell normally works. Also it could be abused in other ways (small, extremely heavy objects are useful to a creative party). Should just limit the rate of fire by saying the ring needs a few rounds to dissipate the built up magic after a few uses or between uses.
>>
>>34015666
Not even the most ardent of loners outright flee from those trying to be good company.
Come on Satan, he loves being alone and can't stand to be around sapient creatures. With nothing else to really work with he seems like he is one deviantart profile away from being a 2011 OC.
>>
>>34016256
In middle school I told kids it got jabbed out when I was fighting a rabid dog. The fuckers believed it till I told them I was just fucking with them last day.
>>
>>34010717
Darn right bee-u-tee-full. Thanks aPa.

>>34010889
Good, good. I hope you continue.

>>34016697
I knew someone was going to write it eventually.
>>
Wouldn't female dragons end up being the chads in RGRE? Since they've got few major advantages.

>Built like shit brickhouses from the start that come with a built in flamethrower.
>Completely competitive and aggressive.
>Also has claws/hands, so opens up so many avenues for foreplay.
>>
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Wake up dykes
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>>34017156
No, fuck you. I'm going to bed now.
>>
>>34017166
But how are you going to get a stallion if all you do is lay around in your bed jilling off all day Luna?
>>
>>34016444
still not as interesting as some neet that just wants to live his life HIS way, no matter what the crazt mares say
>>
>>34015653
I was happier when I just thought this was something you thought up anon, not something that actually fucking happened
>>
>>34016946
Too scary for the faint hearted. Kirin on the other hand have tuft for days, and only set things on fire when upset at something, versus having a wife that could melt the flesh off your bones because she accidentally sneezed in your direction. Not to mention, Asian steriotype asside, deer have very small thin dicks so a Kirin doe would feel tighter than anything you could imagine.
Dheragins are also shit in attitude. Fairer sex doesn't find excessive competition and fighting for the sake of pride and ego sexy at all. They want a mate that will stick around and actually support a family, Sun forbid they actually get too hurt to protect what matters.
>>
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>That one pegasus who kept using DFM on Rainbow Dash
Assault Horizons isn't canon
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>>34016946
Maybe not for the ponies, faint of heart as they are, but they definitely would be for humans.
>>
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>>34017453
>visiting Equestria through the stable portal between worlds that's been up for years now
>being the typical and obvious tourist, taking pictures of everything and wandering around like you're lost
>a shadow descends upon you and before you can even identify what it is, a dragoness has snatched you into the air and is flying off with you
>>
>>34017504
>As you're being carried off your thoughts turn towards the pamphlet that was snuck under your door one night.
>This wasn't in the pamphlet, this wasn't in the pamphlet at all. There wasn't any mention about any sort of kidnapping risk.
>The only thing you can muster to say as you look up while being carried in the air is:
"OHGODPLEASEDON'TEATMEITASTETERRIBLE"
>>
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>>34017512
Oh, she's gonna 'eat' you alright. And you're gonna 'eat' her, then right after you're going to help her make a half dozen eggs.
>>
>>34017512
>>34017518
>carrying you off with her back legs between your arms and crossed over your chest
>looks down at you as she's flying and does this while waggling her eyebrows
>>
>tfw you will never experience a dragoness falling head of heels love at first sight towards you before grabbing you as soon as she can to take you someplace to spend days on end having her way with you
>>
>>34017560
>>tfw you will never experience a dragoness falling head of heels love
>Dragons go literally head over heels when they find a suitable mate
>They just tuck themselves into a ball in mid-air and aim for their would-be partner
>If both parties survive, then the pairing is meant to be
>>
>>34015104
Hi. What do you want me to write?
>>
>>34017598
Well, as a request for the last few threads, either something with Octavia or Bon-Bon. I do feel we're lacking in stories for those two.
>>
>>34017582
kek
Although I don't think that would be a viable mating strategy for anything else except other dragons.
>>
>>34017609
I'm willing to bet yaks do something similar
>>
Whatever happened to that big google doc with all the links to green on it?
>>
>>34017762
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/htmlview
This one? IDK, It's still active
>>
>>33976341
>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>And you forgot something.
>Something that Celestia personally asked you to look into.
>You feel especially bad about it considering you handed her copies of your current reports, which would now be incomplete.
>Thankfully, the rest of your herd agreed to help when you brought it up.
>That's going to take some getting used to.
>Your herd.
>You breathe slowly out of your nose and look over to your herd sisters.
>Anon had said only you were allowed to walk on your own hooves in the forest, which only rubbed your ego a little bit.
>Starlight and Trixie were perched on the large wolfs back, the wolf leading the way as Trixie hummed to herself.
>Anon was still in his armor, which you had no complaints about.
>You didn't like asking him to come into a place this dangerous, but it made you feel better knowing that he had something on in case a monster appeared.
>There was definitely something out here too, but whenever your group came close, you could just see the creatures scramble further into the darkness.
>You were probably scaring off the smaller creatures, but here's hoping you weren't attracting something bigger.
>Turning towards Anon, you decide to try asking again.
"So what exactly is this blue harbor?"
>"I keep telling ya, Twi. It's some magical flower."
>You roll your eyes.
>Again.
"I doubt that some flower is going to be able to affect you with magic when neither I nor Starlight could."
>Once again, Starlight snickers.
>"Listen to this dork. Thinking magic is made up of facts and logic."
>You point a wing at her and give a meaningful look.
"Don't get me started, Starlight. We can go back to my library right now if you want to debate the basics again."
>She simply rolls her eyes, ignoring your challenge once again.
>This cycle of you asking a question to Starlight being...Starlight had gone on since they told you about this blue harbor.
>>
>>34017928
>"I'm just saying that you need to be ready, because when Anon messes with it, you're going to be knocked onto your flank."
"And can we talk about that? You let your stallion mess around with something dangerous-no offense to you, Anon. You're free to make your own decisions."
>Trixie takes off her hat and tips it.
>"There. It may not be a sunhat, but it is now tipped."
>You snort and carry on as Trixie puts her hat back on her head.
"But you let him mess around with some unknown, magical object. Even if Anon is completely immune to magic, there are plenty of spells that can still hurt him. Spells that can soften the ground, cause explosive blowback, or even-"
>"You've been thinking about this a bit, haven't you?"
>You jump as Anon addresses you.
"Well, I mean, I was just thinking about spells that I can't use around you and...I really wasn't trying to think of how to hurt you."
>Your ears pin back despite Anons chuckling.
>"So you were just obsessing over every detail, just like you do with everything else."
"I don't get obsessed over every thing."
>Anon looks at you, and you can just barely see the eyes set deep behind the small visor.
>"Do you want to put that up for debate?"
>You purse your lips.
"Maybe later."
>He chuckles as Trixie stands up on Jims back.
>"Ah, here we are."
>Your ears snap up and you pick up the pace, using magic to push aside bushes for Anon and yourself as Jim simply marches through the mess.
>Anon gives you a happy nod as he walks through the bushes before you follow yourself.
>Walking into the clearing, you see-
"Alright, very funny. Poison joke has healing properties, yeah right. Where are the flowers that we're actually looking for?"
>You look up at Anon who was...staring at a bush?
"Anon? Is something wrong?"
>He doesn't answer you, choosing instead to turn his head towards the other mares.
>"You two get off of Jim. Now."
>>
>>34017934
>You look over to your herd sisters, who were carefully trying to get off Jim as he growled at the shadows.
>Alright.
>This is either cause for concern or a prank.
>You choose concern and light up your horn, keeping an ear towards Starlight and Trixie as you watch where Anon is looking.
"Can you see something out there."
>Once again, you don't receive an answer as Trixie and Starlight walk up to you, the wolves shattering apart before taking their place next to Anon.
>He snaps and points to the ground, ordering them to sit down.
>The wolves obey, but you could still hear a low rumble of a growl coming from some of them.
>Starlights horn was lit and ready to fire as she trotted up to Anons right.
>"This better not be some kind of prank, Anon."
>"It's not. Let's call it an old friend."
>Anon puts his left hand over his right arm and starts to drum a beat on his armor.
"What are you-"
>Before you can finish, a noise comes from the forest in a mimicry of Anons song.
>Without a word, Anon steps forward, tossing his glaive into the poison joke before banging on his chest.
>You follow after him, keeping close as a wooden rod shoots out of the bushes to land next to Anons weapon.
>The clearing was humming with the magic you and Starlight were gathering.
>The bushes shake for a moment before as-
"What the hay is that?!"
>You stumble back as the skull of some alligator like creature emerges from the brush, the body following after it looking like a horrid mish-mash of parts that had no reason being together.
>It crawled forward on two rotten, yet powerful legs, it's rear end looking more fish or snake like.
>Skin was almost non-existent on its corroded, black flesh.
>Green smoke billowed from its maw as it hissed at Anon.
"You call that thing a friend?"
>Anon simply points past the abomination as the bushes start to rustle again.
>Oh, great.
>What else is out there?
>You watch as...
>A bush comes out of the bush?
>>
>>34017937
>The only discerning feature on the grassy creature was the face, which was a deep blue with a spiraling feature coming from each eye.
>Anon crouches down and gestures at you.
>"I call that one the oogie boogie bush and the big one vape nation. They're kind of-"
>"You can talk?!"
>You all collectively freeze as the bush yells.
>It takes a moment for Anon to respond.
>"Yes? I guess you can too?"
>"But of course, I am no simple horse!"
>Wait.
"Zecora?!"
>A hoof goes up and Zecora removes the mask.
>She shakes her mane out before looking at you.
>"Yes, my friend. Did this beast, you apprehend?"
"Wha-no! We're not arresting Anon, he's the stallion of our herd."
>Zecora stares at you for a moment, her eyes slowly traveling across the two other ponies and the human.
>Finally, she shakes her head and trots forward to retrieve her staff.
>"This I can not deny, you three have bigger teats than I."
>You're not sure how to take that but-
"I have a couple of questions, but my first has to be what is that thing?"
>She takes the staff and bops the beast over the head, leaving only the skull as its body disappears in a puff of green smoke.
>"It is a creature I conjure, for when I need to enter lands of danger."
>Anon stares as Zecora places the skull on her back.
>"You can just turn that fucker off?"
>You light up your horn and gently turn Anon to face you.
"Second question. How do you two know eachother?"
>Anon points upwards and does a circular motion with a finger.
>"After I lost my pack, I ran from the deeper parts of the forest. And that's when, uh, we found eachother."
>Zecora snorts and waves her staff at him.
>"You came looking for dinner, but fought like a beginner."
>Anon stands up and slams his fists into his chest again.
>"You wanna say that like someone without brain damage?"
>You throw a shield up between the two before they can take things too far.
"Okay, let me ask again. How did you two meet?"
>Zecora shoves a hoof at Anon and looks at you.
>>
>>34017939
>"This beast of the woods was trying to turn me into baked goods!"
>"...Twi, I'm seriously having trouble understanding her."
"She's saying you tried to eat her."
>"Oh, that is so not true! I was just following you when you set the tree on fire."
>"And for what reason would you follow, that which you do not know?"
>"...Because reasons."
>You put a hoof up to your face as you try to process everything.
"Okay, so let me get this straight. Zecora tried to set you on fire-"
>"And for good reason, else I would have been well seasoned."
>"Bullshit, I didn't have any seasoning!"
>You ignore that remark and step in between the two.
"Ignoring that for the moment, didn't you see her use tools like her staff, Anon? Did you ever see him using any, Zecora? Surely that would have suggested some higher level of intelligence and that you didn't need to use violence."
>Anon shrugs and points at the inert golem on Zecoras back.
>"For the most part, she'd just sic vape nation on me. But even then, I've seen other stuff use tools...kind of. That usually just means it's smarter and needs to be killed harder."
>Zecora nods.
>"With him I agree, kindness here is a luxury."
>You put the hoof up to your face again.
>One of your friends was attacking your stallion who, in turn, was trying to eat her.
>Where do you even start with this?
"Did neither of you speak during...how long have you known eachother."
>Anon takes off his helmet, garnering some attention from Zecora.
>"So you are not but bone, simply your knowledge well honed. Just over a year, I have known this creature queer."
>"...You calling me gay?"
>You place a hoof on Anons knee and look back at Zecora.
"So you two have been trying to kill eachother for over a year, and not once did either of you speak?"
>Zecora shakes her head.
>"Only thrice did we fight, the remainder of the time we were relatively polite."
>"I'mma say right now, you deserved it the second time. That was my kill."
>>
>>34017942
>Zecora marches forward and taps her staff against your shield.
>"Had it not been for me, you would have been torn in three."
>"All you did was some bullshit to tie its legs together. After that, you just sat back and watched me rip it a new one. You didn't even get vape nation to do anything!"
"So you two hunted together too? Wait, why do you hunt, Zecora? You don't eat the things out here, do you?"
>"There are some potions that require, flesh from a creature dire."
>Note to self.
>Never take another one of Zecoras potions.
>The three of you are stopped by Trixie calling out.
>"Trixie just wants to state that she does not like this forest and any stories that may be associated to it."
>That's something you two can agree on.
>You look over at Trixie and see her nestled into Bobs belly, while Starlight was resting against Bo the same way.
>The remainder of the wolves were now either missing, lounging, or licking the dirt.
>You really need to ask if Hendrix was okay but-
>"Like those flowers. Those flowers are too ridiculous for even Trixie."
>Your head snaps back to Zecora as the shield between the two would be combatants drops.
"Zecora! You stepped in the poison joke!"
>Zecora looks down at her hooves, which were concealed by her bushy disguise, before nodding.
>"This is a place of peace, which the joke serves to police."
"B-but now you have to craft the antidote for it."
>She tilts her head to the side, giving you a quizzical look.
>"Do you think I need to rhyme all the time?"
>You stop.
>You stop so bucking hard, you're pretty sure you stopped being alive for a second.
"You've been affected by poison joke since I met you?!"
>"In a way, but there is no need to neigh."
"I just-why-graaaaAAAAGGGHHHH!"
>Anon looks over towards Trixie and Starlight.
>"You two want to bet on if she blows?"
>Starlight scoffs.
>"I'm not putting bits down against that."
>A blue hoof shoots up as you try to get yourself under control.
>>
>>34017945
>"Trixie will. She knows that Twilight knows that nothing can be learned from a crater."
"We have learned /so/ much from craters! Shut your mouth, Trixie!"
>You sigh and look back at Zecora.
"But she's right."
>"Trixie takes payment in-"
>BZZZT
>"OW!"
>You release the magic from your horn, noting Trixie giving you the stink eye before continuing.
"Please tell me why you never told me you were afflicted with the poison joke."
>Zecora simply shrugs.
>"I believed my warning to be sufficiently alarming."
"Wha-you just spoke in rhyme. That just made you seem more mysterious and spooky."
>"I suppose I could have been clearer with that."
>...
>This is why you like math.
>Math always has definitive answers that are fixed and unchanging.
"Do you, or do you not need to speak in rhyme?"
>Zecora chuckles, and you can't help but feel annoyed.
>"Long ago, when I was a foal, I took pride in my song, but that would not last long. For I found a flower of ubiquitous power, that many feared and more thought weird. A touch was all it took, to change my outlook. Overnight my songs were broken, and there were rhymes in every sentence spoken. I followed the flowers across the world, to see if this mystery I could unfurl. At last I found the cure, but by then...I found peace. What happened when you touched the poison joke, Twilight?"
>You narrow your eyes at the zebra, having some idea where she's going with this.
"I couldn't use magic. Something that I would practically say is a part of me."
>She nods, a small smile on her face.
>"Had you not used the cure I made, your ailment would have ended without aid. So long as you had accepted the change, instead of making an exchange."
"So why didn't you make me go through your...pilgrimage like you did?"
>She puts her hooves up in a shrug.
>"Be it friend or foe, I do not know. It could still have harmful properties, that need to be eased. Not to mention, I earned some goodwill through my action."
>Well...
>>
>>34017949
>At least you were helping Zecora make friends by losing your magic for a bit.
>Anon walks over to Zecora, stopping at the edge of the poison joke before crouching down.
>"So you're telling me that these flowers will...make you really bad at something you really enjoy."
>Zecora shrugs again.
>"It is hard to say, what skill will decay, but for the most part, that's a start. I have seen you with the poison, is there some skill it has made you shun?"
>Anon slowly works his gloves off, setting them to the side as he looks at Zecora.
>"Yeah."
>Your brow works up and you try to get a look at Anons face.
"Anon?"
>He ignores you and points at Zecora.
>"But that's not much of an issue. What is an issue is that I tried to eat a person. Do you hold any grudges against me?"
>Zecora looks him up and down before nodding.
>"Too many beasts have we slayed, underneath this leafy shade. I need not prattle, I have no issue calling you a sister of battle."
>"If you can talk normally, why do you rhyme and stuff?"
>She playfully shoves against his chest plate.
>"Try spending ten years speaking in rhyme. You will not easily change back, even with time."
>She extends a hoof, which Anon happily takes.
>Hooray friendship?
>"So...you seen anything with any meat on its bones?"
>...
>You pick up Starlight and Trixie and drag them over to you.
"So Anon just found out something that tried to kill him, and that he tried to kill and eat, is sapient. And now he wants to go on a hunt with her."
>Trixie nods.
>"Yes, it's terrible. Can't you use your status to lock her up?"
>You slowly push Trixie away as Starlight chuckles.
>"Maybe the poison joke messes with ponies heads. Oh, speaking of. Anon, show Twilight how that stuff works!"
>Anon whips his head around to give Starlight a smile.
>"Aw, shit. I almost forgot!"
>He reaches into the patch of poison joke to grab his weapon and stabs it into the ground next to him before facing you.
>>
>>34017951
>"Okay, I know World Star Yoda is okay, but which of the three of you is squeamish?"
>You narrow your eyes at Anon.
"I'd say I'm fine, but why do you ask?"
>Starlight nods as you set her down.
>"I'm fine too."
>"Trixie is just going to prepare for something horrible, because that's what this place is."
>Anon shrugs, grabs his right arm with his left hand and-
>POP
>Oh, hello lunch.
>It's nice to taste you again.
>You work to keep your meal down as Anon swings his arm around.
>"FUCKING...Forgot how much this shit hurt. This stuff doesn't act up unless I'm hurt, so I found a way to dislocate my elbow. The flowers acting up would send almost anything scrambling so it was really handy. You ready to-oh. Star's out."
>You look over and see that, yes, Starlight had fainted.
>...
>What a cock.
>Trixie removes a hoof from her mouth and points at Anon.
>"Please fix your arm. Please, please, please, Trixie does not enjoy looking at that."
>Anon chuckles before looking over at you.
>"There's a lot of magicky stuff, so use your magicky stuff to record it or whatever."
>You shake your head.
"Anon, please. You don't need-"
>You don't get to finish that sentence.
>How could you?
>The poison joke was erupting with light as a surge of raw mana exploded from where Anon was touching it.
>Currents of wind and magic rush past you as the light coalesces around the hand touching the flowers before traveling up it.
>The light gathers at his elbow and seemingly molds the flesh and bone into its proper shape.
>Anon works the arm for a moment before waving at you.
>"So how was that for a magic trick?"
>No.
>You point at Anon.
"No."
>You point at the poison joke.
"No."
>You point a wing at Trixie and a hoof at Starlight.
"No."
>Finally, you point at Zecora.
"No."
>You turn around and begin to head back towards Ponyville.
"If any of you need me, I'm going to be in my library."
>>
>>34017956
https://pastebin.com/mbTNxzSC
Ziggas gonna zig
To anyone that wants to add an equine of the striped persuasion, this site is very helpful https://www.rhymezone.com/
>>
>>34017957
Oh shit, it's back? Thanks for the update!
>>
>>34017957
Great update. Love how Anon just makes Twi nope the fuck out of there.
>>
>>34015295
>Kaiju Anon in RGRE
>too big to fuck ponies

I better get Atomic Breath out of the deal
>>
>>34017957
>Zecora's rhyming is just poison joke fuckery.
I am infinitely mad that the show never did this because that is just so fucking perfect.
>>
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would you be the big-leggy goth BF to show support for your mare's interests?
>>
>>34018204
I'll stretch and be a bohemian poet or something catching TB and being mopey, but totally
>>
>>34018129
>I am infinitely mad that the show never did this because that is just so fucking perfect.
This is my line
About a lot of things
>>
>>34017957
>oogie boogie bush
OW! My sides. That's so much fun to say.
>oogie boogie bush
I must have said it several times today. Anyway, Zecora's introduction was hilarious. Well done there. Excellent dialog and I love the herd's interactions with each other. Twi is fitting in quite well even if Anon broke her during this outing. I'm hoping Zecora will invite the herd over or she goes along with them back to Castle Friendship™. I'm sure she and Anon could learn a few things from each other. Great update as always cc. I look forward to reading the next one.
>>
Reminder that ass worship is against the rules.
>>
>>34018397
Your existence is against the rules.
>>
>>34018397
Reminder that you're a faggot.
>>
>>34018397
I see the promise I made to Octavia to organize a religion around her was a tragically premature.
>>
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>>34018397
I got more where that came from, babe
>>
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>>34018397
Is pussy worship allowed?
>>
>>34018537
That's a belly made for rubbing
>>
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>>34018537
No, only pussy abuse.
>>
>>34018397
>>34018537
What about teat worship?
>>
>>34018546
I don't know which I like better: belly rubs just being cute things that are in comfy stories, or belly rubs being l-lewd and Anon is knowingly molesting mares. Not that they'd say anything - nopony wants to be the one who ruins a good thing and spoils it for all the other mares.
>>
>>34018493
Underrated post.
>>
>>34017969
Never left, just hit a bump
>>34018041
Poor Twi is about knee deep in crazy and sinking further into it
>>34018129
Glad you like it and hope you'll stick around when I start trying to make use of some of the other unused canon elements
>>34018303
Zecora will make another appearance, but not next chapter
>>
>>34018596
>Poor Twi is about knee deep in crazy and sinking further into it
So, is it like quicksand where the more you struggle the faster you sink, or is it like walking towards the deep end of the pool from the shallow end?
>>
>>34018601
yes
>>
>>34018580
>Motorboat big bat tats
>>
>>34018601
>>34018604
Sand is also being poured on her head for good measure
>>
>>34018608
Did someone say Rouge the Bat?
>>
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>>34018608
dat
puffy
pussy
>>
Any one got the story of anon the dragon he's like spikes older brother
>>
im here as promised! pastebin updated as well https://pastebin.com/Z0XzspPu
>You put on the old suit that you haven't worn in a little while
>As much as you love your formal wear its not exactly practical in the confines of the forest, and you don't want to get it ripped up or else rarity gets really angry at you
>” No way for a stallion to behave!” you remember her saying
>So what if you like living in the woods! Its a lot better than the city from where you used to live
>...
>Whatever, you've finished putting on the suit and you've pushed the thoughts of your old home to the back of your mind
>You walk back to your bedroom and
>Wheres Lesae
>Instead of what is supposed to be a fluffy bee pony there instead stands a golden coated pony with a brown mane, a medium sized tuft under her neck, and a honeypot cutie mark squarely on her flank
>Then you notice the bandage
>You sigh a bit in relief
>” What is it?” Lesae says, confused at your reaction
“Are you telling me you wouldn't be the least bit confused if you found a stranger sitting in the room of some princess being hunted?”
>Lesae ponders that before nodding, “I guess when you live with shapeshifters its unusual that ponies are alarmed when you look different.”
>Nodding your head you hold the bedroom door open for her, and she pouts ever so slightly
>Cute
>This doesn't stop her from trotting down the stairs and holding the door open for you
>What a...gentlemare
>She sticks her tuft out and smugly looks up at you
>You roll your eyes and walk through
“Thank you, your highness”
>She closes the door and you lock it
>As you begin to make way through the slightly shown path through the trees, you decided to make some idle chatter
“So what should I call you while you're like this? Just in case there might be some changelings snooping around town?” you say, wiggling your fingers for effect
>Lesae stops and puts a hoof to her chin, then perks up, “Amber Honeypot would do nicely, Anon”
>>
>>34018711
“That sounds good to me, we're getting pretty close now, so if we get attacked by a blur of pink, just know to keep your head down and try to survive her questions,” you say as you both exit the Everfree into the far part of town.
>” Her? Whom do you mean?” Lesae says, an ever so worried look on her face
You chuckle, “Don't worry your fuzzy head, shes no one dangerous, I promise, just a very enthusiastic pony who likes making friends”
>"That does little to assuage my fears Anon if shes so enthusiastic she could be a changeling in disguise looking for me!"
"Please, like anyone would notice one of the closest friends of Princess Twilight acting strangely, hell I doubt anything could be able to match her energy even if they tried"
>Lesae's look of worry lessens, but not entirely
"Listen, you'll understand when you meet her okay?"
>"If you say so..."
>You continue your peaceful walk into town until you finally hit the town square
>Ponies hustle and bustle around the square, stallions out grocery shopping while mares walked around trying to peddle wares and such things
>Suddenly you feel a disturbance, wind whooshing everywhere, and suddenly everything goes pink.
--------------
hope everyone enjoyed!
>>
>>34018711
>>34018713
Cute, would be nicer if there was more but there's no rush.
>>
Hey any update to you and me forever
>>
>>34017957
That's some pretty neat lore on poison joke, and I am curious to see what skill of Anon's it messed with.
Also, witchdoctor with zombie muscle is a classic combo, glad to see it.
>>
>>34017928
The post link is dead. Anyone know where I can find it?
>>
>>34018713
Thank you
>>
>>34017956
Wait, so to clarify here, Anon through the use of the joke and what would be normally a really gross trick of dislocating your limbs at will, lead to him being able to dismember himself then reattach it using pure raw mana? Is that right?

Tzneetch you motherfucker what are you doing on this world, fuck off and don't mess with the ponies, you're lovechild with Slanesh has that covered!
>>
>>34018985
Ahem
*clinks fork on glass*
FUCK CHAOS
>>34018728
Still new to this, I'm working into making bigger updates, it shall be done my friend
>>
>>34018985
Pretty sure it was mentioned that Anon had his spine severed and was able to heal it.
>>
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this mare walks up and slaps you on the ass

what do
>>
>>34019093
If she puts on Garter Belt like OP and has the right kind of genitals then sure as hell.
>>
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ded
>>
>>34019093
More like
>"Alright, mares: this mare walks up to your coltfriend and smacks his ass. What do you do?"

Because I'm just picturing Anon out with his waifu or his herd and they're all enjoying a few overpriced drinks, when suddenly a hoof smacks him right on his ass. He spins around and a smug-looking mare is standing there, hoof still extended. There's a single beat, no longer than a heartbeat, and then Anon's marefriend(s) dive-tackles this mare.
>>
>>34013086
Why does this make my peepee feel funny??!!
>>
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>>34019259
It is a mystery
>>
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>>34019259
>>
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>>34019283
>>
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>>34019298
ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>
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>>34019305
>that pic
So do zebra mares like colts with fat asses? Because if Anon comes into Equestria and he's kind of overweight, he won't last a single week.

>You are Anon, and OH BOY a bit on the ground!
>You bend down at the waist to pick it up.
>"Hey there, colt. What'cha gonna do with all that junk in your trunk?"
>You stand back up straight and turn around
>There's a zebra mare standing there, sweat dripping down her red face.
"...excuse me?"
>"Dibs."
"What?"
>"Nothing."
>What?
>>
https://pastebin.com/Z8MTmJeD

>”Your paper work came in.”
“Cool.”
>”Even cooler. I got us a real race. Official and everything. Real bits too.”
“Cool thanks, Wheel.”
>You lazily eat your bowl of weird apple flavored cereal. A ponyville favorite apparently. You prefer rice crispies.
>Vanilla.
>The huge shop is starting to feel really small. You’ve been cooped up in here Since that race.
>As far as you know Wheel never found out about your involvement, though she’s been talking about rumors of some ‘Red Beast’ and she’s probably getting suspicious.
>You decide to stay indoors and let you and your car rest, at least until ponies stop talking about red cars.
>It’s not all bad, you and Wheel jog around the shop in the morning. Plenty of exercise and sun you’re sure, and there’s plenty of work to be done, even if Wheel doesn’t like you doing any of it.
>What does bother you is Scoots disappearing.
>She’s not showed up at the shop since the night of the race. Wheel said she wasn’t home either.
>She’s probably doing alright, but something is really bothering you.
>”Here, ‘Non-buns.”
>You turn and glare at your manager. Who shifts her eyes with a slightly ashamed face.
>”Yea OK. I’m working on them. They’re getting better, right?”
>She’s got you there, though anything’s better than ‘nonnybutt
>You look at the papers she put next to your food.
>It’s some identifying information, some info about your car, generic paperwork. Only things of note are you’re a female which you know about, and a familiar racer number.
“Why’s my number 291?”
>”What do you mean? Isn’t that your number? Where the letters important?”
“What are you talking about Wheel?”
>”The racing plates on your car. The numbers are 291.”
“My licence plate? Oh, I, I guess that’s cool.”
>”I thought those where racing plates. It’s not a big deal, it’s just for bookkeeping.”
>>
>>34019393

>She shuffles through a pile of papers and letters.
>She’s been working real hard for the past few days; you hope it’s not because of you. Maybe you should do something about that.
>Not that she ever lets you help her and you don’t push her much past getting defensive and rosy cheeks.
>”Besides the fans will name your carriage. If you do good, that is.”
>She passes another piece of paper to you, a map of a track.
>It’s a standard slot shaped track, with one side having a curvy road leading in to the main track.
>”I’ll be honest, Anon. I’ve never seen this place in person, but it’s only a few wings long, a simple first past the post race.”
>She walks closer and passes another slip.
>”And the money is too good to pass up.”
>You agree, that’s enough zeroes for the risk.
>But you feel a little uneasy. Not about the race itself, but it feels like someone out there is trying to lure you to the race.
>New racers usually start out on short beginner tracks, with low or no pay.
>This track isn’t a beginner track judging by those marks, and a meaty payout if that number is real. It just doesn’t smell right.
>Your mind wanders a little at the idea, and you wonder if scoots going missing is related.
>Maybe you’ve been in here too long. After all, what do you know about alien pony racing?
>You finish the last of your cereal, and turn in your chair to face Wheel.
“When?”
>”You’re a gem yknow that?”
>She hops up on your lap with a single flap and you pull her in. She won’t admit it, but you know she likes that.
>”We’ll check in tomorrow. Race is noon the next day.”
>Letting her get really close, she rubs her fur on your cheek, and you rub her back.
>In honesty, you’re not sure how serious she is about you and her, but you won’t complain about a good thing if she doesn’t.
>Besides she’s cute.
>>
>>34019396

>She Likes to hug you with her wings, and rub her chest fur on you.
>You’ve stopped caring about how weird that is at this point. It’s for the best.
>Besides, she’s soft.
>You rub the base of her wings and give her kiss on the cheek in response, you know she loves that. She’d fall down if you weren’t holding her right now.
>The two of you snap out of it when the shop bell rings.
>She looks at you with an annoyed red face, and hops off. You get up and follow her as she rounds the corner.
>”Hi y’all.”
>It’s that Apple pony from the stall. Scoots friend.
>”Hey Applebloom. What brings you in?”
>You silently wave to the small pony, and are immediately distracted by her truck through the shop window.
>It’s weirdly familiar. It doesn’t look like any of the other pony cars you’ve seen. maybe you’ve been inside too long, but you’re sure you recognize it.
>”Hiya Wheel, Hey Anon. Ya’ll got time, Wheel?”
>”Wheels always got time. What’s up?”
>”Sis’s Cyclone needs a few new chains.”
>You unwittingly snap to her recognizing that name. You quietly follow the mares as they bring the truck in.
>Cyclone. You toss the name around your head and examine the truck.
>Maybe you’ve gotten too used to the carriage like cars to think this boxy looking truck is special. It just looks like any 80s short cab work truck, but no there’s something different.
>A glossy black with deep red embossed logos on each door and once on the tailgate. Cyclone.
>Chiselled square grill, with another red logo on it, flanked by square headlights, rectangular turn signals. Cyclone.
>The body is moulded to form a thick side bumper around the wheel well matched to the front bumper which has 2 square embedded fog lights, and turn signals. Cyclone.
>Aero lips on the bumper under each foglights, and around the wheels, shiny chrome forward canted rims with logos on each one. Cyclone.
>>
>>34019393
>it's Dangerous Amoeba
oh shit son
>>
>>34019403
>It rides low for a truck, and the bed is covered, along with cleanly painted and chromed trim and decals.
>Suddenly it clicks in your head.
>You knew you recognized it. It’s obviously an aesthetic copy, it has to be. What are the chances of a pony car looking exactly like it?
>Though some details are wrong in the best ways, the aero is all integrated into the wood body, the original was plastic add-ons.
>The logos where all paint, not embossed, and especially not this high quality. Just painted lettering.
>And most importantly, they’re all spelt wrong. Or actually they’re spelled right, which is why they’re spelled wrong.
>”You like it, Anon?”
“Hmm?”
>”I see you grinning at it.”
>You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it. Even if it’s not the real thing.
“I thought I recognized it.”
>”Really? Sis says only like twe’ty exist.”
>”Prolly saw it on a poster, Applebloom. This is a Moonship Cyclone, Anon. A one of a kind sports truck.”
>The truck rises up on the lift and you feel a little let down. Just another pony carriage under it’s façade after all.
>”Sis says it’s real fast for a truck.”
>The mares talk about the truck, but you tune them out.
>They don’t know half of it, and you fell for the bait and switch. Though it’s still strange, how could it look so similar?
>Wheel’s never heard of a single car you’ve brought up, how likely are they to know of an obscure pickup?
>You shake your head and get to helping.
---
>”Bucking- Where’d that pin go?”
>Wheel struggles to reinstall one of the transmission chains inside the truck.
>Turns out, this truck is special even here, just in a different way. It’s loaded with advanced features you’re not hearing the end of.
>”Bucking, all wheel drive my flank! What in the world was Princess Luna thinking?!”
>>
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>>34019406

>Applebloom giggles and look at you, you return her a smile and a shrug. Wheel struggles to hold the chain around it’s sprockets and reinstall a pin.
>”Yer really hating that, Wheel. Maybe ya need a break?”
>Applebloom teases her and giggles some more.
>”Shut up! You wanna try this?”
>”Ah think ya got it.”
>The two of you relax on a tool box with some apple juice. You want to help, but Wheel insisted she can do it herself.
>She has the chain ends in both her hooves, the chain pin in one wing, and the chain tool in the other wing. You know how she feels, like she wasn’t born with enough limbs.
>But the two of you just lean back and watch the show.
>”Say Anon, Scootaloo find ya couple days back? Ah’ve never seen a mare go that fast.”
>Uh oh. Time to play it cool, feign ignorance. You’re just a stallion or colt or whatever right?
“Yea, she said something about some race or something.”
>”Yea, ah saw her there. Glad ah went, it was crazy. Ah didn’t see ya’ll there.”
“Uh, yea, we didn’t go. Wheel was tired, and we where almost asleep.”
>That’s a half truth, and Wheel will corroborate your story so it’s all good.
>”What! Wheel, ya didn’t see the race?!”
>”No, mare! I was out of town and didn’t know so we hit the hay! You saw it?!”
>”Heck ya! Red Beast blew some Manhattan filly outta the water! The ribbon didn’t even hit the road and it was gone!”
>”The Red Beast was gone?”
>”Yea! Some ponies tried to follow him, but nopony could. Not even Twi, an she did magic!”
>”That fast?”
>You feel like you should be flattered, you eye the canvas cover camouflaging your econobox, and hope it’s enough to hide her.
>The bumper lip is visible, but the paint there has chipped away from thousands of kilometers and isn’t red enough to reveal her.
>”Anyway, it’s a shame ya’ll didn’t see it. Ah’ve never seen anythin like it before.”
“Oh well. How’s that chain going?”
>>
>>34019403
>>”Wheels always got time. What’s up?”
I like how Wheels talks in the third person.

>"You wouldn't like it when Wheels gets angry!"
"I've seen you get angry, Wheels. All you do is stomp your little hoofsies a bunch and make a pouty face at me."
>"...Wheels doesn't want to comment on that."
>>
>>34019413

>”I’m working on it, wish I had more wings. Who was the Manehatten filly, Applebloom?”
>Damn it. You know you can’t get Wheel off a race topic. You don’t know why you’ve been hiding yourself all this time, but you can’t tell her now.
>A thousand lies to hide one lie right?
>”Ah dunno. Manehatten Track Filly or something.”
>Wheel does a double take, stops working, putting everything down and looks at Applebloom in disbelief.
>”W-what?”
>”Ya ok Wheel? Ya look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
>”Manehatten Track Fillies?! Those buckers-“
>Wheel clenches her teeth catching herself. You’re glad she put down her tools, Looks like some old wounds just opened. You walk closer to her.
“You alright?”
>She eyes you, but shakes her head and ignores you.
>”Applebloom, who’s the Red Beast?”
>”Ah dunno. Most ponies barely got a look at him, he was too fast.”
>Wheel curses under her breath and stamps a hoof.
>”What- what about the driver? What was her name?!”
>”Gee, ah dunno, Wheel. It was mighty dark, nopony saw her.”
>”Damn!”
>This isn’t like her, you don’t know what it is, but something’s really eating at her.
>Maybe you should just tell her what really happened. But it feels like it’s more than just that.
>Wheel paces back and forth interrogating Applebloom, you decide to excuse yourself and do her work.
>Just 4 chains to put on, sounds easier than being in between whatever’s going on.
>You start with the one Wheel was working on while she angrily speaks to an increasingly nervous Applebloom.
>Starting by starting the pin in one link, then holding each end in one hand. You use the tool to force the pin through the whole link, and check for protrusion, before moving on.
>Ignoring the angered yelling you work on the other one. Following your previous procedure, you manage to attach the second chain on the rear and move up front.
>>
>>34019417
>The work is peaceful and you know how to deal with it unlike the mares arguing. Even if you feel the pangs of guilt, you gotta think things through before saying anything.
>The front chains are harder to do with the more crowded area, but with only a little modification of your technique you manage to fit the chain.
>You notice the front suspension, double wishbone but with a leaf spring in place of coil overs. Interesting to say the least.
>The final chain is the hardest, the location of the chain puts it right next to some big brass component in the engine bay.
>But with only a fraction of the curses compared to the mares, you manage to fit the final chain to it’s sprockets.
>The commotion dies down just as you finish, and you turn your attention back to the none too happy mares.
>Feeling awkward you turn the center shaft to try and avoid the elephant in the room and test your work.
>”Wheel, Ah-“
>”Just shut it, I gotta get back to work.”
>”Now wait-a-minute Wheel, yer bein real rude.”
>”Shut up, Applebloom. You don’t know the half of it.”
>The mares begin a new bout of arguing, and you don’t have work to hide behind so you step up. Of course you don’t really know what to say.
“Stop.”
>Nice, real smooth. If only you’d thought about what to say afterwards, cos now eyes are on you.
>”Don’t come into this, Anon. We-“
“Wheely. Your voice is getting sore.”
>She looks away with a slightly red face, and you walk over to the warzone.
>You lean down to Wheel who tries to get away, until you run a hand down her neck, and you can see her anger dissipate.
>With wheel a little calmer, you really think about what to say next. You’re sure you can repeat something you saw on TV.
“Something’s bothering Wheel, Applebloom. She doesn’t mean to be rude.”
>Yea that sounded about generic enough.
>”Ah know. Ahm sorry ah can’t help ya, Wheel. An fer yelling.”
>”No I’m sorry.”
>>
>>34019422
>Wheel pipes up and leans closer to you. You’re just glad that worked.
>”I didn’t mean to get mad, Applebloom. I’m not angry at you, just those damn-. I’m sorry for being rude.”
>Wheel walks over to Applebloom, and the two settle their differences with a hoof bump and hug.
>You sit down back where you where satisfied with a job well done, and sip some well earned apple juice. A man earns his drink and all that, even if this ain’t your Molson.
>Actually that’s not a bad thing.
>Molson’s awful.
>”What the buck. Anon did you put these on?”
“No it was a ghost. Wooo.”
>”You bu-. You didn’t need to do any work.”
“But I wanted to. Besides, you spot that sick suspension?”
>Wheel shakes her head, smiling again, walking back over to you, and flies up to your vacant lap.
>”You’re a million bits, you know that?”
>”So like, ya two datin’ or somethin’?”
>Wheel’s face turns red and her nose scrunches up.
---
>”So now what? It’s all you?”
>”It was always all me.”
>The red mare scoffs, inhaling from a smokey brass pipe.
>She eyes a familiar black carriage come into the lot and park. Its side covered in a fresh battle scar.
>Moments later, the driver enters the café with her own battle scars.
>”And, look who the cat dragged in.”
>The red mare says dismissively before turning her attention to her pipe.
>”What happened to you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
>”If what ponies are saying is true, she might have.”
>The others speak to the new troubled mare, before the red mare rudely interrupts them.
>”So, Strike. How’d it feel to lose a ponyville mare?”
>”Shut up. You don’t know anything.”
>The black mare answers quietly in defense, though nervously. The red mare only giggles in response.
>The red mare runs a soft hoof over strike’s neck, and the black mare moves away.
>”Nothing? I know you lost, Slippy. Even with all the work we did.”
>>
>>34019429
>She pauses to take in and let out another puff of smoke in the other mares face.
>”Number one driver.”
>She says with contempt.
>”I don’t know, Swipe. Everypony talking about that Red Beast. He’s really something else. Like a beast from tartarus itself. And the mare driving…”
>The red mare remains unconvinced and annoyed by the notion.
>”Oh please. It’s one of Wheel’s carriage. We took care of her other two, this one won’t be hard.”
>”That mare makes the road move around her, you won’t beat her.”
>The silent mare speaks up. Enticing another smirk from her teammare.
>”Oh? Like her, fillyfooler?”
>The red mare strikes the other mares butt, making her recoil and enticing a yell.
>”You won’t get it. Go race her! You’ll see!”
>”I will. And unlike you, I’ll win.”
>The red mare confidently responds, and looks out the window admiring her pride and joy.
>”Her Red Bucket is no match for my AB16.”
>All the mares follow her gaze to the glossy red machine parked outside.
>Its small and unassuming looks hide a wicked weapon in plain sight.
>”I’m going to defeat her. No…”
>She eyes the protrusions on her front bumpers, and licks her lips.
>”…Destroy her.”
>All the mares look at each other unsure of the red mare’s intentions, though aware of her maliciousness.
>After a long moment of silence, she empties her pipe into an ashtray and stands up, stretching her hooves.
>”Catch you fillies in ponyville.”
>The mares do themselves and their friends a favor. They don’t try to bargain with a selfish gene.
>Selfish gene don’t take no prisoners.
>>
>>34019434

”Hello Wheel. Anon.”
>You feel like a stranger entering the room, but he doesn’t let you get away with that for long. Excitedly getting up, he almost runs over to say hi.
>”Scoots! Where the hell did you go? Got me mad shook, dude.”
>He doesn’t sound like he’s faking it either. Not that you where ever any good at this stuff, but he’s happy to see you.
>He offers you a closed hand, and you take it but avoid his eyes.
>You don’t want to see those eyes. They make you feel something, something you’ve fallen for once and you feel like you’re falling for them again.
“I was busy.”
>Answering almost coldly, you know he doesn’t deserve that, and even you can see he’s let down.
>Without much thought you join your team huddle around a map on the coffee table.
>”Filly, we where worried about you.”
>You believe her. Wheel takes good care of her racers. And you’re her friend.
>But what would you even tell them? How you felt? Even you don’t know that. And that’s just weird.
>You felt cheated, you still feel cheated. But you know it was all your own fault.
>You stuck your nose where it didn’t belong, and you got stung. but you know it was the right thing to do and you’d do it again.
>Heck the sting was all you too. You’re fighting with nopony but yourself, everypony else is just caught in the middle.
>”Well anyway, glad to see you, Scoot. Did you see the track?”
“Yea.”
>”Well? What do you think? You guys are out there in an hour.”
>’Atleast one of them is your friend Scootaloo. Will snubbing your friend make you feel better?’
>You scold yourself. They need you, and you have a job to do. You can deal with your feelings later. For friendships sake.
>You shake your head clean, thinking about the matter at hoof.
>There’s the thought in your mind, you’re not much use. Not with that stallion at the wheel. But by those eyes, you know he would never let you feel that.
>>
Digits
>>34019444

“The map isn’t everything; this place is built around an old quarry. There’s a lot of sand on the track. Slippery sand.”
>Anon keeps his eyes on you. You know he doesn’t need to.
>Your mind takes you back to that night. Manhatten mud couldn’t even slow him down. he could circle this place in his sleep.
“It’s also an old track, it’s narrow, passing isn’t possible in most places.”
>Maybe for anypony else. You saw the rock covered mud caking Ponyville. Racers think they’re in tune with their carriage. But his is a part of him.
>There’s only one pony who could even get close to that.
“But there’s places here and here where the carriage may fit. We miss this section because…”
>You stop and see Anon following your every gesture to the map, and listening to your every word.
>You’d swear he’s doing this just to make you feel better. But no, you’re not the smartest filly, but you know when somepony is for real.
“And here’s the worst bit. See that curved bit along the track?”
>All of them follow your hoof on the map, and along it the road snaking up the side of the track
>”A service road?”
“Usually. Today it’s our start.”
>”What?!”
>Wheel snaps at you.
>”That’s not fair, the regulations say-“
>Wheel sounds charged at the added challenge. Not her usual style.
>Anon doesn’t know it, but she’s what the other managers fear. She’ll take a bite twice her size and come out on top.
>”All start’s gotta be the same from finish. It is.”
>Wheel looks nervously at Anon and you follow her. He’s studying the map, reading it in a way neither of you can understand.
>”Buck… Anon-“
“Don’t worry about it. Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be a problem.”
>”Anon, that thing is a slippery curve ridden uphill. You’ll-“
>You remember the talks Wheel gave you. Ever single one pushing you to win. And you did, every time.
>Well. Almost every time.
>>
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>>34019448

>But she’s different with Anon. Why would she do that? Is she playing him? Or is she really just scared?
“I’ll be fine.”
>He downs his mug, and walks off.
>Wheel stops, but you know she’s worried about him, you hear it in her voice, it’s just like yours a few nights ago. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t worried now.
>Your heart is afraid, but in your gut you know he can do it, and you know she knows that too.
>He has something. Something? Something you’ll never get. Something no other racer has. It’s a passion, Princess Luna pointed it out.
>You saw it once before in another colt.
>”We should get down there.”
>Wheel sounds unsure.
>But she didn’t see that night.
---
>”Scoots.”
>You try to keep ignoring him, but you’ve been hearing and thinking of every attempt at small talk he’s made.
>”Something bothering you? You OK?”
>That catches you off guard and you inhale a little deep, still not responding.
>The two of you wait on the line, strapped in waiting for the signal.
>His car is as awesome inside as it is outside. Some weird material covers everything, a hard black stuff.
>It’s comfortable too, not the lightest seats, but it’s like you’re sitting in a chair at home. There’s buttons and knobs and lights everywhere
>More luxurious than any handcrafted Royale, and yet if your eyes don’t lie, more power than any Moonship.
>You’re one of the few ponies who will ever sit in this amazing thing, but you’re not in nearly as much awe as you ought to be.
>It’s almost as breathtaking as it’s owner.
>That colt. That bucking colt.
>Why is he asking if you’re OK? Does he care? Why does he care?
“Yea.”
>”You don’t sound like a ‘yea’. What’s got you feeling down, Scoots?”
>>
>>34019450

>He sounds sincere, worried. Twi would give him a friendship reward.
>He does care. You don’t know why, but it’s like you can feel him. He waits for you and then looks away when you don’t talk.
>”Hey Scootaloo.”
>He talks quietly, he sounds unsure.
>”I’m sorry. I know you where worried, and I said I wouldn’t go, and I should have thought about you… But…”
>He pauses for a minute. You want to stop him; you should stop him. He had every right to go out there and race.
>Heck, even daredevil herself couldn’t match his moves. He’s got teats bigger than any other race pony.
>”But I couldn’t stop myself. I know-“
“No. It’s not you.”
>You reply quietly.
“I’m still worried, Anon… But you’re the best gosh darn racer I’ve ever seen.”
>Your cheeks feel warm, and you want him to do something. But you’re not sure what.
“Sorry, I’m gonna keep worrying, Anon… and you…”
>Pausing, you feel a million stones lighter, you get it now, and you accept it.
>You don’t wanna lose him, he’s a one in a million colt, better than before, even if he’s just a friend.
>Sweeter than cake, as good a friend as any element, and a racer with no match. But he’s a mustang nopony can hope to control.
“…You keep, racing.”
>Anon gives you a smile, and gently punches your shoulder.
>Laughing at the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, you feel a lot better now. And in perfect time.
>The signal to move up sounds as Anon lets his Beast roll forward, you eye the light post, displaying a bright orange.
>Anon presses something and a glowing green bar appears on one of the button clusters in the center:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QZHzd7z4Vs
>”I won’t be able to hear you in a few seconds. Final words, Scoots?”
>You think and only one comes up. Though you know he doesn’t need it.
“Win, Anon”
>The post turns green.
---
>>
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>>34019454

>Accelerating as hard as you know how to. Just as your manager said to.
>Mister Luck is smiling on you for once, hard road and straight line. You feel bad for the mare below you, but you can’t afford to do anything about it.
>There’s a strange noise emanating from her road, like the savage cry of some everfree beast.
>You dare not check if there’s lightning to that thunder, not with this first curve approaching.
>The roar is getting louder, more primal too like a real animal is behind it, and your curiosity forces you to seek the source.
>Expecting a hidden view of nothing, you see a storm the likes of which you’ve never seen.
“Wha…-“
>Taking a ragged breath, you’re speechless. Smokey dust screens the beasts approach up the unfavorable road, hot on your tail and without relent.
>You instinctively accelerate harder. Not twice thinking of your actions.
“No. It can’t. Just some dust the wind is picking up… Surely.”
>Disbelieving your lying eyes, and wanting to calm your panicked heart, you turn your head again.
”How is she moving so quickly?!”
>You angrily demand an answer from nopony.
>The road she moves on is like a serpent, and it’s slick with fine sand. Yet that beast straightens the serpent, and fuels a storm with the sand.
”So heavy it broke the weigh-in.”
>You tell yourself, which does nothing for your heart as the tempest of dust continues to gain.
>Once you thought he was simply handsome, all vanity and no performance. By the way your heart is racing and the sweat streams down your face now, that you didn’t expect this.
>The corner approaches fast, and your path will soon intersect with the beast.
>The beasts section is facing the wrong way, a serious disadvantage. Maybe luck will shine on you yet.
>Your speed of entrance is ludicrous and yet your senses are only overwhelmed by the dust tempest as it reveals itself.
>A shooting star launches through the corner, trailing a jet of flaming dust thick enough to cut.
>>
>>34019458

>Luck is a cruel master yet, he placed the beast at a disadvantage yet still on your tail.
>His once gorgeous rosy face, now seems to holds a snarl red with fury, and with a roar to match.
>The mare inside however alien, has a look you’ve never seen on a racer.
>Focused. No ‘racers snarl’ and zipping eyes.
“Am I alive?”
>You question yourself, feeling a strange numbness all over.
>No not a numbness, an overload of emotions that you thought you had forgotten a long time ago.
>The mare clings to you like she’s part of your carriage. No, you’re the one caught in her storm.
>Your magic feels overpowered by the proximity. Coupled with his deafening roar that only pulses louder every time you consider slowing down and you think if you’ll survive this to the end.
>The road is downwind and slick with sand, there is no way to slow down or speed up, or change direction too quickly.
>Your only hope is to weather the storm and pray to survive.
>You force your scrambled mind to concentrate as much as possible, as you see a widening section ahead.
>You’re uncomfortable when she’s so close, but she can’t pass you if she’s sticking to your rear, and there’s no mare or carriage that can change their path quickly enough. You gulp.
>’at least not one of this world.’
>The wide section approaches as half your senses stop working as you focus on splitting your attention on only your rear mirror and the road.
>You see the mare insides eye shift ever so slightly, her calmness scares you and you miss her obvious signal.
>Her paws snap into the liveliest movement you’ve seen from her and her carriage complies snapping itself over next to and behind you.
>”What in Tartarus?!”
>Instincts you didn’t know you had take over as your life flashes before you making you miss a few seconds of the world.
>When you come to you’re still in the lead and that handsome devil still behind you. The mare inside has a small unnerving smile on her face.
>>
>>34019461

>Your head hurts, you overexerted your magic in your save, you don’t know if you can take that one more time.
>This race has turned into an ordeal you weren’t prepared for in the slightest. But what could ever prepare a mare to face this devil?
>All the races, rigged. Even this one. Doctored to put the other racer at a disadvantage. But destiny has caught up to you.
>She follows you like the guilt you feel, even if you both have reasons. You lost your honor when you took that bag.
>But maybe not all of it. This and every race, you have and you will give it your best, and you’d rather go with the devil than give up.
>You clench your teeth. You’re in the lead for now, but your pounding heart knows your destiny is to lose.
>The finish line is not much past the final upcoming curve, and to make matters worst: before the curve is also the wide section where your opponent will overtake you. Although you don’t know how.
>She has you outclassed, but it doesn’t matter. While you can work your magic, and your carriage is under your control, you’ll fight.
>You have a few tricks too; the slick sand can’t stop you as long as you keep the same speed, and you can still move.
>Heart isn’t under control but your conscience is clear and your mind is focused, and just in time.
>You clench your teeth tighter than before and again let half your senses drop to focus the important ones, as the devil chases you into the wide section.
>Focused this time, the mare flicks her eyes and then just as you expect her carriage follows, your instincts take over once more.
>Your life flashes once more, but your focus pays off, you hear a powerful roar pulse and the devil changes his direction.
>Too little too late, your instincts control your body, even if your mind catches her, it’s nowhere as fast as her moves are.
>Her paws and carriage move in unison like they’re part of the same creature, and his powerful roar follows his immense speed.
>>
>>34019472
>The two are quickly next to you and she meets your eye for just a moment.
>Kind eyes, and a warm smile. She puts up two of her plushy claws in a V. Making you smile like you’ve never smiled before.
>You’re in the eye, and it’s a respite from your ordeal. A reward even.
>Just as quickly as it was upon you, the storm passes. The devil and angel enter the curve at an unimaginable speed and you can only watch.
>His tires screech and you see his tail wag, but she holds the leach through it.
>A cyclone rages through that curve, and loser or not you’re just happy to not be stuck in that.
---
>So lost in the gorgeous display, you miss the rest of the ‘race’ and come to a stop past the line into your pit.
>You’re sure you’re going to wake up any moment and princess Luna is going to give you a lesson in honor.
>But then the Red Devil opens, and a pair of strong legs step on the ground, followed by a slouching alien. From here you wouldn’t believe anypony, but she’s real.
>Her manager speaks to her and she turns to look at you with that same warm smile. But sunnier now that the storm has passed.
>You smile back and come back to your senses.
>Your body is shaking, your head hurts, your teeth are chattering and your heart is still pounding. You know your carriage is gonna need work.
>The overwhelmed senses, anxiety, pain, fear – they reignited a fire in you that racing had lost. Ever since that damned mare gave you that bag.
>Any other day a shocking defeat like this would be a tragedy, but today your smile holds.
>You where beaten clean in a stormy shower, and while your body is aching your soul feels pure and satisfied.
>The stars are bright tonight; the air is sweet. Although you know your summer’s over now.
>That handsome devil speaks and There’s a strange new music in the street.
>>
>>34012398
C-can I ride Celestia around? I want to snuggle her beautiful hair while riding through the countryside.
>>
>>34018713
A nice, if short update. Thanks famalam.

>>34019347
>There's a zebra mare standing there, sweat dripping down her red face.
"...excuse me?"
>"Dibs."
"What?"

kek

>>34019479
Something tells me it's not over yet for Anon. Thanks for the update Amoeba.
>>
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>>34019479

>”Wher’d ya get the money?”
“I’ve been saving since Twi started paying me!”
>”I don’t pay you, you get a wage for being my assistant.”
“Yea, whatever. She pays me.”
>Applejack isn’t impressed, but whatever, everypony else can’t stop looking at it. She’s probably a little jealous.
>Sure you can fly, but so can any pegasus. But you have The crown jewel of magic-less carriages. A real GE4-A, and not many have that.
>This is the best day of your life, and the start of a new one. This time you won’t be a assistant, you’re going to be a racer!
>”Well it’s definitely got charm, darling.”
>Even she likes it! She’s doing those magic things to see what looks good with it; you’d ofcourse let her decorate it. Though it can’t get too heavy or it won’t be fast.
>You hope Anon likes it, maybe he’ll race you!
>You’re a little jealous of his carriage but the Spark can hold it’s own! Besides, it’s all about the driver and you’re a fast learner.
>”Are you sure it’s a real Spark, Spike?”
“Ofcourse it is, Twi! Look at it! It’s so cool!”
>You’re sure it’s a Spark. What else can it be? It’s got the weird griffon logo, and it’s got the Spark logo.
>”And again, you only paid 2000 bits for it?”
“Yea! It’s such a good deal!”
>She looks skeptical, but she doesn’t know anything about cars. Wheel will check it out soon and let you know if it needs anything.
>Not that it needs work, it’s in great conditions. Almost mint.
>Anon lives with Wheel you think; she just went in to get a couple tools. Hopefully Anon comes out and sees it.
>You gotta learn from Anon, Rarity doesn’t care about carriages. You could totally be the driver in the relationship!
>Maybe you’ll get good enough to join Wheel! Then you can really race it. The red even compliments Anons color, maybe he’ll be your partner!
>>
>>34019554

>Look at that red, it’s lighter than his in the sun, but real races happen at night anyway.
>”Ah don’ get what’s so special about some griffon carriage. Ah bet the ol’ cyclone could run it down!”
>”Haha, no way sis. That there is a carrige made for the racin’ cup. Cyclone ain’t that fast.”
“Yea! It was designed to race in the GE. It’s even in the name. Grand Escape, Apex!”
>”Uh huh. What’s the 4 for then?”
“Uh. I dunno.”
>The Apples start bickering among themselves, but you’ve got other stuff to deal with.
>”Sorry for the wait Spike.”
>She’s here! You know she’s gonna love it. You should ask where Anon is, he’s gotta see this.
“Hey Wheel! Here’s my carriage.”
>”A real Spark? GE4-A spec?”
>She likes it! She’s eyeing it up and down, it’s like she’s so amazed she doesn’t believe it.
“Yea! Isn’t it cool!? When I saw it for sale I just couldn’t let it go!”
>”Yea… Yea it looks really good.”
>She looks like she’s studying really hard, she’s probably noticed something really cool you missed, after all she knows everything about carriages.
>”Say, Spike. How much did you pay?”
>”2000 bits.”
>You opened your mouth but Twi butted in. She thinks it’s not a real Spark, something about really below value or whatever.
“Yea! What a good deal right?!”
>”Yea… Really good deal.”
>She’s still thinking, whatever. You wonder where Anon is, he’d really appreciate it. He might even know more than Wheel.
>”Lifts, mare.”
>You’re almost startled by Scootaloo putting down the metal lift. But seeing Anon behind her excites you. He’s gonna love your new carriage.
>”Thanks Scoot. Thanks ‘Nonny.”
>Anon glares at Wheel. You’re silently waiting for him to notice your car and tell everypony how cool it is.
>”This is Anon. Anon, Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy. Yknow the rest.”
>>
>>34019559

>Wheel points at the ponies in order. Hopefully they get over it quickly so they can get back to your Spark.
>”Hello Anon, we’ve heard a lot about you!”
>Ugh, Twi’s wanted to meet him since she couldn’t find any information on ‘human’. She better not tell you to ‘take a note’.
>”Yes, Darling. Though not that you where so… large.”
>Hey. You can be large, larger even. Just need a couple hundred years…
>”Hi, Anon. I’ve never seen a creature like you, are you from the Everfree?”
>Ugh, even Fluttershy? Can’t everypony just get back to your carriage?!
>”Hello. Nice to meet you all. I don’t know what the ‘everfree’ is.”
>There he waved to everypony, introductions are over, now everypony can focus on your carriage.
>”’Mac was askin ‘bout ya, Anon. Yer welcome on the farm, yknow. If yer not too busy beatin a princess that is.”
>You almost groan as the mares start up again and even Wheel’s distracted from your carrige.
>”Did you really beat princess Luna? She’s said to be unbeatable.”
>”Wheel ‘ere said ya beat her in ponyville too.”
>Look, even Anon doesn’t wanna talk about it. Cool racers don’t talk about their races. Besides he wants to check your carriage.
>”Well… Uh. That’s not the official story.”
>”What about at the meeting? I was too busy to watch the race myself. The paper work for such an event is very important after all. Did you really win?”
>”Ah, well. Yknow that’s, like… Not the uh, official story.”
>He’s too distracted to talk about it. The mares just don’t get that. Bro wants to see your carrige.
>”What about here in ponyville? That was amazing, darling.”
>No, you can’t let them get started on that race. They’ll never get to your carrige if they do. And he doesn’t look like he wants to either.
“Hey Anon, what do you think about my new carriage?”
>>
>>34019561

>See he didn’t wanna talk about the race. He’s probably talked about the race everyday since. He walks around your car and looks it up and down.
>”Nice.”
>’Nice’?
>That’s it? You feel a little let down. He smiled at you sure, but it’s not just nice.
“Nice?! Like?”
>You know he doesn’t talk much, he’s like Big Mac, just needs a little push and he’ll talk a lot more, you’re sure.
>”Nice like, uhh. Enough to get out onna tray.”
>’Get on a tray?’ Is that some weird expression from where he’s from?
>Either way, Ponyville or not, a GE4 isn’t just nice!
>This is a-
>”So, Spike. Where’d you buy it from?”
“There was an ad in ‘Wheel & Tire’.”
>”Did it come all the way from the Crystal empire?”
“Well yea, why?”
>”It’s not a GE4.”
>’It’s not a GE4.’
>It echoes in your head for a minute. Surely you just misheard. Right?
>You don’t want to believe your ears, that’s not possible. It can’t be. Your whole world feels like it’s come crashing down.
“It’s not a Spark? Th-then what is it?”
>You hope for a good answer, but almost don’t want to hear what she has to say.
>”Well it’s a Spark, but it’s a A3-U spec. I thought it was fishy, only griffon racers have real ones.”
>Shouldn’t have listened to her. You where so happy. So excited. It’s not a real Spark, just a real boring A3…
>”The giveaway is the top, it would have a hump if it was a real 4-A, cos the condenser is bigger. Sorry, I guess you don’t know what that is.”
>You know what a condenser is…
>It feels like heart break. You knew it, Twi was right. It was too cheap, too good to be true.
>”See I told you, Spike.”
>She did tell you. But you didn’t listen, you where too excited to listen…
>”Told ya Applebloom, the ol’ cyclone can run it down.”
>”Ah think a squirrel can run it down, sis.”
>Clenching your claws, you feel angry at yourself. You always do things like this.
>>
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>>34019566

>You’re not a racer. You’ll never be a racer.
>”At least it looks good, Darling.”
>That’s not good enough, and everypony knows it. It’s a fake, a copy a lie.
>”Should have bought a ZE6-B.”
>You’re an idiot.
>That’s all there is to it. You can’t ever do anything right, not without Twilight.
>Your eyes are blurred with tears, and you don’t know what to do. This was all you ever wanted.
>The mares are still busy giggling to themselves like fillies. Laughing at your failure.
>Applejack was right, colts can’t race. Anon’s just a rare exception, you’re just a messup.
>You asked for this.
>Without another thought, you run away with tears in your eyes.
>You want to fly, but you’re too hurt and can’t focus enough to fly. But you can run, as fast as your little legs can carry you.
>Far, far away, you wish you could run away to another life. But unfortunately you only get as far as the other side of the shop.
>at least nopony can see you here, and nopony bothered following you. You cry against the wall, letting your tears stream down the bricks.
>Angry at everypony, angry at your car but mostly just angry at yourself.
>You hate being a ‘dumb little colt’, why can’t you do anything right?
>You try so hard, but even then everything is your own fault, you’re just a big failure.
>This is why Twi’s gotta watch over you. You can’t be left on your own-
>”Yo Spike. Man.”
>You take a deep ragged breath, and move your tear soaked claws off your wet eyes.
>Though your eyes are blurry, Anon is hard to miss. He gets close to you and kneels down.
>”Don’t be like this dude.”
“But my A3…”
>”Who cares? You gotta car, don’t you? Most ponies don’t, And it’s in great condition, Wheel said that.”
>He’s right, most ponies still don’t have a carrige, and yours’s is almost mint.
>”Wanna know how much I paid for mine? 35 hundred bucks.”
“Really? It’s so cool though…”
>>
>>34019568

>You don’t believe him. Not after you’ve seen his machine in action. There’s no way it was only 3500 bits.
>”Hell yea, man. It’s an econobox. Barely made over 100 horses. I just needed a car at the time.”
>He doesn’t sound like he’s just telling you to make you feel better. And you saw him beat princess Luna in an identical carrige to hers. If anypony knows about this, it’s him.
>”I dropped over 10 grand modding it though, but that’s the real way to do it. No factory car is gonna be what you want, your car is what you put into it.”
>He’s right. All the best racers mod their carrige, it’s why Wheel is so good at racing.
>”And let me tell you, dude. Spend your time pouring sweat, not tears.”
>He’s right. You can’t cry like a little foal, you’re still on the path to be a racer. You nod your head and wipe a few tears.
>Anon readjusts himself, and stands up.
>”So, How’s it drive?”
“What?”
>’How’s it drive’ well you don’t know. You haven’t actually driven it yet, and nowhere close to how a racer can drive.
>You got into driving when Pinkie let you drive her family truck, and you barely get to drive outside of that.
>What’s a carrige supposed to feel like to drive? You don’t even know that.
>”Yknow? How does it feel like to drive?”
“I… don’t know…”
>Feeling a little ashamed you look at your claws, and avoid his line of sight.
>”Dude. That’s the real crime. Get inside and hit the road.”
“But I don’t know how to drive like a racer!”
>”Who cares? Do you know how to drive at all?”
>He asks and looks at you as if to tell you that you can drive, not really questioning.
“Y-yea…”
>”Then that’s where you start! I started with my dad telling me to park the LeSaber.”
>He’s right. You won’t learn anything until you really start driving.
>And you drive better than Twi already, so maybe you still can get really good.
>But how will you learn all alone?-
>>
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>>34019571

>”Tell you what. Don’t tell anyone, we’ll roll tonight. What do you say?”
>You feel your excitement and smile come back. Better than ever.
>Anon, the dude who beat princess Luna: TWICE, is going to teach you to drive.
>A3 or not This may still be the best day of your life.
---
>This is SOO COOL.
>You’ve driven the ponyville track at least four times now, and Anons given you tips along the way, you can feel you’re getting better.
>Your Spark may not be a GE4 but it feels really good, everything works with you. Nothing feels too far away like in other carriages.
>The two of you are relaxing at the roundabout, you gotta get this part right, it’s a real challenge for everypony.
>Except Anon of course.
>After this is a bunch of curves anon calls ‘hair pins’ and a big climbing curve that leads back to the start.
>The track is designed like Canterlot, but it’s nowhere near that dangerous.
>Nopony ever races Canterlot.
>”It sucks no one ever follows me long enough to get to the hairpins. It’s not as fun alone.”
>He’s so confident. Like a real racemare. You wish you could be like that. You’re nervous the whole time you’re driving.
“What are hairpins like Anon?”
>”I can’t tell you that.They’re tight quick turns. You gotta learn-“
>Anon’s distracted as 3 carriages quickly pull into the roundabout, and stop abruptly.
>They’re not ponyville racers, you know all of them and those aren’t their carriages.
>They stop in a line blocking the exit. You spot their sticker and you think Anon does too.
>’Manehatten Track Fillies.’
“A-Anon?”
>You ask quietly, but he doesn’t say anything and you look at him, he’s eyeing them quietly. It’s like he sees something, but he doesn’t say anything.
>It’s all so cool. He’s so cool, like a real racer. Maybe one day you’ll be that cool.
>>
>>34019577

>two of the carriages open their doors and some shady looking mares step out, and stop to eye the two of you. You wish you where as relaxed as Anon.
>”We’re looking for the driver of the Red Beast. Who is she?”
>A mare yell at the two of you but anon doesn’t answer and you’re too scared in place to answer.
>”You hear me? Who’s the driver of the Red Beast?”
>She yells louder this time, making you flinch.
>“Who’s asking?”
>Anon answers and the mares smile and begin walking closer. You almost run, but you’re still frozen in place.
>”Look fillies, a stallion! Two colts all alone? Nice carriage, honey.”
>Thankfully Anon’s getting the worst of it, you’re not sure you can take that. You don’t like the way they look at you at all.
>One of them stops just short of you, eyes your carriage then stares down at you.
>”That ain’t the red beast is it? Is it yours?”
>You’re scared as you’ve ever been, especially without Twi. You can’t answer.
>The mare stamps her hoof and repeats her question.
>”You there? Is it yours, pipsqueak?”
>You gulp and open your chattering teeth.
“Y-y-yes. It’s mine.”
>”Is that so. Real GE4. That’s something. Wait a minute.”
>She does a double take after she says that, and eyes your carriage really closely.
>”Hey Flipper, that’s no GE4. Look at the hood.”
>The mares start laughing among themselves.
>”HAHAHA! Colts think they’re racers, don’t they?!”
>”Hey, mare. They’re prolly fastest at the spa!”
>”HAHA! With a fake GE4!”
>”Why don’t you two get some marefriends to drive you?! This is just embarrassing, colts.”
>You feels some tears swell up in your eyes, and look away at your carriage.
>”Don’t you think about racing us in that thing, colt! HAHA!”
>”We’d invite you into our real racing carriages but racers gotta stay light.”
>The mares walk away laughing, stopping at their carriages one more time
>”Cya, colts. Try not to get in our way.”
>>
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>>34019578

>They enter their carriage and quickly drive away, leaving you on the verge of crying and trying to understand what happened.
>”Spike.”
>Anon quickly knocks you out of your stunned state, and grabs your shoulders.
“Y-yea?”
>”Give me your keys.”
>He’s almost demanding, and you don’t know what to say. You want to ask him why, but you find yourself giving him what he wants without saying a word.
>”Get in.”
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chnSSpCLz18
>You follow his command and he sits in the driver’s seat, starting the carrige quickly and before you know it, he’s after those mares.
>He’s already showing you speeds you didn’t know your carrige could do. You’re tossed around as he covers ground, and cycles through speeds.
>His speed and aggression with the shifter is in a class of it’s own. He smashes it into gear, and doesn’t let up on the car at all.
>The road gets darker as the moon is obscured behind the hills and your carriage speeds down the hill at speeds that no other racer would attempt.
>In time you’re sure is technically impossible, he’s caught up to the mares who harassed you mere moments ago.
>Down the dark track the only light is the carriage lights, and you’re amazed how well Anon can control the carriage in almost total darkness.
>There’s no belts in this thing, so you somehow stand up and grab hold of the dash board handbar to keep steady, and give yourself a better view of the road.
>The best decision you’ve made, because you see one of the infamous ‘hairpins’ coming up.
>Your mind is telling you to stop him from doing this, but your body is not responding, and the best it can do is hold on.
>Those mares are a few carriages ahead of you, and they all brake to tackle the turn, Anon doesn’t brake he merely eases off the throttle, and downshifts.
>The first mare disappears around the curve like a proper racer, and the second follow her, then the third.
>>
>>34019582

>Proper racer or not, Anon doesn’t let up and no sooner has the third mare disappeared around the curve does Anon hit it with an attack nopony would believe.
>He snaps the carriage and pounds the throttle, and you’re not sure what’s he’s done, or how in equestrian it’s possible.
>You wouldn’t believe your eyes, if your body wasn’t twisting and suffering under his moves.
>And neither is the third mare who stares at the two of you wide eyed as you pass her mid turn, with your carrige side ways.
>Anon pays no mind to the mare he left behind and focuses on the remaining two as he straightens the carriage.
>Your moment of respite is short lived as he aims himself on to the next target.
>He shifts up another gear and accelerates even with it being impossible to see beyond a few hoofs.
>You watch the mare behind you slowly slip further and further away as Anon fearlessly darts down the hill.
>The mares ahead must also be getting serious, the second one tries to get into position to block Anon towards the inside of the curve.
>Anon doesn’t let a single thing scare him, he gets close enough to touch the mare trying to block him.
>You grit your teeth and cringe terrified of crashing at speeds like this, but Anon keeps calm eyeing his speed every now and then like it’s just another drive.
>His hand stays rested on the shifter, and occasionally his eye moves slightly to the rear mirror.
>Even Scootaloo and Wheel have a race face, but you’ve never heard much less seen of a racer who keeps this relaxed.
>He may be relaxed, but sweat is streaming down your face and your as scared as you’ve ever been seeing the next curve coming.
>The only thing worst than being in this carriage has got to be being in that mares carriage.
>This mare is so close, she keeps trying but can’t brake to safely take the curve, you can only imagine what she’s thinking.
>In a desperate attempt to not crash she slams her brakes, and Anon is quick to make his move.
>>
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>>34019584

>He slams the shifter down, and snaps quickly next to the mare, accelerating ahead into the outside of the curve.
>Your claws dig into your seat to try and maintain balance as he makes his next move.
>Knowing some que you don’t, he snaps the carriage and brakes hard but only for a split second, before slamming the throttle.
>Once again your carriage faces inside the curve while tracing the outside like one of the guard rails, but even faster than before.
>Your sweat trickles to the side of your face and not even your insides are fast enough for the carriage.
>Your claws almost let go at the immense speeds, but you clench them as tight as you can and try to spot the opponent.
>The panicked mare barely enters the curve at a speed she can control and you can see her terrified face for a moment as she tries to just survive through the curve.
>Your carrige on the other hoof blasts out of the curve and Anon targets the final mare.
>Anon upshifts and the already steep decline gets steeper, he’s even faster than before the other mare keeps braking to try and remain in the realm of reason.
>A realm Anon has no need or thought of, as he makes no attempt to slow his descent.
>It feels like you’re floating, not like flying, but like the world is no longer holding you down.
>You’re barely breathing against the force on your chest, and it feels like your heart is struggling to work.
>The only part of you that feels alive is your claws which you clench on the handle bar in anticipation of Anon’s next move.
>The whole town was talking about the ‘Red Beast’, but here, in yours, you get his carriage isn’t the only beast.
>Somehow he’s turned your A3 into a machine that’s putting carriages beyond it to shame. You shudder thinking what he would do in a real GE4, or his own carriage.
>His calmness is unnerving and even more when you remember, he’s not done yet.
>The mare ahead makes an unsure attempt to block him, as the hairpin comes closer.
>>
>>34019585

>Anon doesn’t even acknowledge her attempt, and the mare quickly backs off and clears your way admitting defeat.
>That doesn’t seem to mean anything to Anon as he attacks the curve harder and faster than before.
>The tire noise deafens your clogged ears, you’re sure they’re going to explode, and Anon is pushing the rest of your carriage to the brink along with you.
>Against the forces you manage to turn your head to see a terrified mare soaked in sweat staring at the two of you wide eyed and mouth open.
>If there was a face to go along with seeing a ghost, that would be it.
>You turn to Anon who’s also eyeing the mare he just passed and he finally lets some emotion through his blank confident stare.
>A small smile.
>The last thing the mare sees before he’s out of the curve and down the last of the track.
>You feel relief thinking he’s going to slow down, but he doesn’t, and a stream of bottled up emotions catches up to you.
>You scream.
>Terrified of the speed and forces you’re mind is just feeling, Anon just eyes you and smiles warmly.
>”Feels good, doesn’t it?”
>He asks quietly, but you’re in no state to answer.
>But it does. You get it. It’s a rush.
>The rush of. Of, Something. This feeling’s not just thrill, it’s something more, that’s what it means to be a real racer, this rush is what we’re all chasing.
>And despite you’re protesting mind, you’re excited for the next curve and that next rush.
>He flashes another crooked smile as if to say ‘hon, I believe you’ve lost your mind’
>You’re mind races, but you’ve had a minor change of plans, you’re gonna be here another night.

GEE TWO RACES?!
>>
>>34019586
Hot damn! That last curve and pass happened in slow motion in my mind's eye. I'm glad Spike got to see what his ride could do. How did Luna put it? "The skill is in the hoof not the wheel." Yeah, I think the little dragon realizes he can reach his goal. Only problem now is MTF knows who the driver they're looking for is. Hopefully no one believes them but I guess we'll see what happens next.

Great update famalam!
>>
>>34017957
Love it.
>>
>>34019586
I fucking love this ridiculous story. Keep it up, Amoeba.
>>
>>34019586
Thank you for continuing this. When you started this, what three years ago? I had written it off as a dead story. Has just the right mix of absurd premise and RGRE.
>>
>>34019586
10/10 update. Keep up the great wordwork.
>>
>>34019586
Thank you, based amoeba. Really like how you write spike.
>>
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>>34019783
>right mix
This

>>34020029
>Spike
And this.
>>
>>34019393
What does Wheel look like?
>>
I can’t get over how hot the garter belts and fur is here. Hnnnnng
>>
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>>34020419
You like?
>>
>>34020444
Oh god yes, give me more.
>>
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>>34020462
gotchu senpai
>>
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>>34020488
Celestia is the best, most hottest princess.
>>
>>34019586
The red beast! More exciting than winning an actual race!
But seriously though, thanks amoeba.
>>
>>34020444
>>34020488
>>34020507
Nice pics. Thanks for the share.
>>
>Mares wearing their stallion's lingerie
>Mares figuring out they can put the testicle bra onto their teats
Didn't realize we were dealing with closeted dykes here.
>>
>>34019298
>MADMAN
>>
>>34020546
The question 'Are traps gay?' exists for a reason, Anon.
>>
>>34020572
I was going more along the lines of "Anon comes home to find his mares playing dress-up with his clothes", but alright.
>>
>>34020546
GIVE ME MARES WEARING STALLIONS LINGERIE GODAMNIT.
>>
>>34020574
Nah, this calls for the whole 'are traps gay' internet dilemma made into RGRE.
Heck, I would even write it if not for being tired as fuck.
>>
>>34020574
>Anon comes home and his herd are wearing his socks on all four of their hooves, and they're sliding around the buffed hardwood floors
>>
>>34020574
>tfw your stallion goes out to the spa
>tfw the radio's fried
>tfw bored
>tfw your alpha comes out of the bedroom strutting around in a garter belt and stockings
>she winks at the rest of you
>fuck it
>put one of those ball bras he never wears on your teats
>it pushes them forward a bit, and they look slightly bigger than normal
>you step out into the living room and join your herdsisters in grading how attractive they look in lingerie
>i-it's not lesbo if you're herdsisters, right?
>tfw your stallion comes home early
>tfw he calls all of you dykes
>tfw he slips off the ball bra
>tfw he starts massaging your teats
>...maybe you should wear this stuff more often?
>>
>>34020701
>Anon comes home and gets a static electric shock or seven
>>
>>34012398
How did ponies learn to make cheese?
>>
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>>34020701
>>
<<It's time>>
The final update for Father Time has his Way. This is it. First time ever writing lewds, so this might be...
Anyway, without much further ado, the End of Seven months work, blood and sweat:
Previously:
Part 1: https://pastebin.com/UF1nAURq
Part 2: https://pastebin.com/LGunmyGJ
Part 3: https://pastebin.com/4bHMnpJU
Part 4: https://pastebin.com/UiEM3rmf
>>
>>34021082
>For a thousand years you have lived and died. Over and over again. Once, you had forgotten each one. Each version of You so sure of their realness. As their identity as the sole version of you.
>Each time you died, your corpse changed. The memory of those around you changed. Your actions, your deeds, your loves and loses given to another, a different being that never truly existed except in the minds of all those that ever knew you.
>Once... Once you had not known this.
>And each death, each life, felt final. Felt definite.
>And each was different.
>You have been afraid of it. You have been accepting of it. Sometimes you cried and snarled and shivered desperately trying to hold on as your life slipped through your fingers.
>Other times, you closed your eyes, welcomed the cold. Even if you weren't sure what was to come after, you had learnt that your time was up.
>But it was not only the end that was different each time.
>Some of you had been great men. Carving out their life from history, inflicting your upon and changing the world. Every step like an earthquake. Making and getting the world they deserved.
>Some had been nobodies. Lost to history.
>Some had been good men. Some had been bad.
>All had been you.
>You could not remember them all. But you didn't need to.
>Because you knew who you were. What you were. What you wanted to be.
>Whys and hows did not matter.
>Because the answer was, and always would be, because you were you.
>The past was behind you. A thing to draw upon, a thing to learn from, but not a place to constantly face. To wonder what could have been, or to try and live in better days.
>The past was done. Once the ink had dried, nothing could change what had been written.
>But the future was yours to do with as you pleased.
>>
>>34021082
>final update
Man, I'm going to miss this story. Thanks in advance for writing it for us, I really enjoyed it up until now, and I'm sure I'll enjoy the finale. Hope you stick around to write other stories.
>>
>>34021084
>Sure, some part of you wanted to give in to fear. This was a time of ending. Without a chance to look back, what would you do with yourself? >Could you truly live without that constant, gnawing fear of death? Could you bear to outlive the things you loved?
>But then, even if there were some things that would fade. Even if you outlived hundred of Ponies, you would remember them. Hold onto what was good and discard the rest.
>And you knew that nothing ever truly ends. Only when you gave up on something, only when you turned your back on it and refused to remember would it truly die.
>And there was so much you wanted to remember.
>And even better, there was someone you would never lose to come back to. To keep living for. To keep remembering. And who would remember you.
>You create the world you deserve.
>You had told yourself and others that for years. That you got out of life whatever you put in, for good or ill.
>And you put in love.
>And you knew, with absolute certainty...
>And perhaps you had always known...
>That you would get that back.
>But before that, you have to come back.

>You watch as time folds and twists, unravel and reform as you are slowly pulled back to the present. A brief chance to watch your lives since the Beast in the Long Grass.
>Farseer standing at the prow of a ship, glaring with wrath and joy at that unconquered horizon.
>Brightsmile, smiling upon a balcony, feeling the warmth of his last sunset upon his face.
>Cloudy Eyes, bleeding out in his own tomb. Saying goodbye to his sister.
>And dozens more. Great or small.
>Ahead of you, in this void of time lay a great light.
>A sunrise.
>Hers.
>And you hold onto it. Allow it to pull you back. To wake you up.

~#~
>>
>>34021087
>You awaken.
>And everything... Is fine.
>Sure, your right arm is probably permanently crippled from the knife that had been lodged in it, but that was only for this life.
>You awaken in a small house in the Grasslands, slowly sitting up still with your eyes closed inside the thaumaturgical circle that had aided and lengthened your trip to the past.
>The first thing you see when you open your eyes is golden sunlight streaming in from a window.
>And you see her, Celestia, framed by that same golden light behind her.
>Five hundred years barely shows upon her face. The main difference is in her violet eyes. The Celestia you had just spent the last few days with was suspicious. Proud. Lonely.
>Hers was joyous. Fulfilled. Happy.
>Happy.
>As you begin to return to reality, tense and relax your right arm, hoping to get some feeling back into it, you smile at her.
>For once, for perhaps the first time in years, it isn't a sad smile. It isn't a false one either.
>You rush forwards as soon as you are free from the residual magic swirling around you and held her tight.
>Hugging her neck. Without hesitation she returns it.
“Do you remember it?”
>”Five hundred years is a long time...”
>It was indeed.
>”But I remember. Anonymous... I...”
>You step back ever so slightly, watching her.
>You can see the words dying in her throat. Once again, she's getting in her own way. Afraid to hold on to something. Afraid.
>Not again.
“I love you.”
>She stares into your eye, and resolutely replies
>”I love you.”
>And nothing can stop the torrent.
>”I've loved you for a thousand years. As Nergüi, as Brightsmile, as Galerian, as Emantle, as Farseer, as the wanderer, as Cloudy Eyes, as Cao Một, as...”
>She lingers upon something. Rolling her tongue in her mouth.
>”As You. You have... You were always Anonymous.”
>You begin to lean in, but she beats you to it, planting her mouth against yours.
>>
>>34021093
>You remember kissing ponies before. You had been alive for four hundred years after all. You were used to their long tongues, their flat teeth, their pliant lips and the fur around them. The way they lingered a little longer than you expected.
>She...
>She was unlike any of them.
>It almost feels profane in a sense. Debasing a Goddess.
>Well, technically she wasn't your God.
>Maybe she'd change that.
> You're pushed to the floor by her weight, beneath her.
>Yeah, callbacks huh?
>With your one good hand you slap her ass, smacking right against the cutie mark, your hand singeing slightly from the sun upon on.
>And with your right, it shakingly reaches up to the back of her head, running through her mane of dancing lights.
>You cannot feel anything with that hand, a damn shame. Still, you've touched that hair many times, it's a first for you to grab her ass.
>With a flex of your fingers, you clench it. Digging into the soft malleable fur and fat beneath.
>The two of you finally break off the kiss.
>She begins to pant, her face flush red. Her eyelids lower, the slightest open mouth smile on her face.
>In the reflection of her violet eyes you can see yourself.
>One sole brilliant Green eye, wide open. Your mouth in a wry grin.
“Y'know, some random house in the middle of Zeborica probably isn't the place for this.”
>Her lustful grin grows as her horn glows.
>For a moment, you're blinded by a great white light.
>Unlike other times you've teleported, where it felt like your body was being stretched and torn apart or that you were falling into a terrible void, the warmth of Celestia atop you seems to abate this.
>And unlike before, the sensation is over much quicker, as you feel yourself somewhere a lot softer than the hard wooden floor.
>Taking your good hand away from her hind, you take the covers you're atop of into your hand, feeling them for a second.
>>
>>34021101
>”Private enough?” She asks, panting ever so slightly.
>You smile. You've been in this room before. It isn't hers, much to your own surprise. Perhaps she was worried about the Household coming in to clean it, or to greet her.
>Instead, its a smaller room to the side of the castle. You know it intimately, from the bathroom, to the wardrobe, to the balcony.
>You can remember waking up in this room years ago. Being both young and old in it.
>But perhaps not the best place for this.
“I had somewhere else in mind.”
>She looks quizzical, but none the less her horn begins to glow once more.
>Acting quickly, you take your good hand and touch her horn. She shivers from the touch, a full body thing that shakes her motherly full hips and causes her to push forwards, pushing her chest fluff into your face almost involuntarily.
>Almost.
>You can feel some warm and wet against your still annoying clothed hip and cock.
“I've got to get undressed...”
>You spot a large tapestry and smile. Good enough.
“You're fine being naked, so I'll meet you there in a second.”
>”Where?”
>You look out the doors to the balcony. Here the sun was beginning to set, slowly turning from brilliant gold to a crimson. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful sunset.
“My favourite place in the whole castle.”
>She thinks on it, but not for long. She knew you well enough to know exactly where that was.
>She pushes back slightly, brushing against your dick again, soaking the trousers as she does so.
>”I'm not so sure that I should be naked in public either.”
>She steps off the bed and trots around, revealing her dripping vagina. It almost seems to be winking at you.
>Nevermind, it definitely is.
>Strangely, or perhaps not strangely at all, you can smell lavender.
“Well, you can teleport there. I've got to freshen up and get undressed.”
>>
>>34021104
>”Won't ponies see you?”
“They won't even remember who I am... And I'll wear that.”
>You point to the tapestry, the one showing what you think is the story of the creation of Labyrinthia. Celestia did always have a sense of humour.
>She laughs at her and your own private joke. Not one anyone but you two and maybe Luna would get.
>”All right. I'll see you in a bit. Don't keep a mare waiting.”
>She says that with a wink, turning around to show wink again as well. And then, with her hind to you, she teleports.
>With her off you and out of the room you jump out of the bed, never feeling more energised and ready to go.
>Glancing downwards, you can certainly confirm some part of you is definitely ready.
>You tear off your trousers, throwing your shirt off haphazardly across the room.
>Your drop your pants as well, stepping out of them into the en-suite.
>Placing your hands upon the basin, you look in the mirror.
>One brilliant smiling green eye, a happy grin. Your cheeks were flushed with blood, and your long hair swept back.
>You debate taking off or keeping on the eyepatch. For Celestia's sake, you keep it on.
>And looking into the mirror, you shoot an award-winning smile.
“Am I looking acceptable today?”
>For half a heartbeat, you see Starfall there, nodding shyly in agreement.
“Acceptable huh? We shall have to try better than that.”
>You quickly wash the worst of the ash, grime and dried blood off, wincing as you touch your wound in your shoulder. You doubt that shall leave you this life, but there was always next time. And besides...
>As you throw on some of your cologne that clearly someone had left in here for the last three years, you smile to your reflection.
>It was going to be a good day.
>>
>>34021109
>You walk out of the bathroom, full of swagger.
>Not towards the wardrobe, but towards that great hanging tapestry.
>Felt almost a shame to ruin it, but fuck it, it was pretty inaccurate anyway. I mean, it had you as a Minotaur upon it.
>You tear it down, ripping it slightly at the top. As it drops to the floor you grip it tightly with your one good arm, throwing it over you like a toga. Using your left arm to hold it.
>It might almost look dignified, were you not both obviously wearing a work of art and also had a raging stiffy clearly visible.
“No time like the present.”
>You spare one glance into a window to make sure you were at least decent, then with a smile you walk out of the room.
>It almost crosses your mind that Guards might wonder who or what you were, but as you walk through the familiar white marble corridors of Canterlot and pass them they don't seem to react. At least, more than sparing a glance at you.
>Shoddy security frankly.
>”That would be my doing Anon.”
>A familiar voice says further down the hallway.
>You laugh as you spot Luna, full and radiant, looking as tall and as regal as her sister. Though obviously, not as fucking hot.
>You march forwards, arms raised.
“Sister! It's been so long!”
>You reach her and hug her, wrapping your arms around her neck and placing a chaste kiss against her cheek.
>You can feel her heat up, and notice that your impromptu toga/work of art had just dropped and that you were almost touching her with your...
>None the less, sheepishly but earnestly she returns the hug.
>”Brother... Why aren't you wearing clothes.”
“I've got a meeting with your sister.”
>Even with your face away from her you can hear her smile.
>”Took you long enough. What was that, 1000 years?”
“Not there yet. Besides, you're one to talk.”
>She chuckles, but you can hear the embarrassment in that. Not sure if that's because of the taunt or if because she had just accidentally touched...
>>
>>34021113
>”Perhaps it would be best if we caught up... After.”
“Perhaps you're right.”
>You pat her firmly on the back as you break off the hug and take her long face into both of your hands.
“Tomorrow Luna. We'll grab break... Maybe Lunch.”
>”You think this shall take that long?”
“You clearly don't know what I'm capable of.”
>”I shall leave that discovery to my sister. Just... In five minutes I'm dropping the invisibility and muting spell. You better be with her by then, or you'll have some questions to answer with the Guards.”
>You chuckle again, and Luna cautiously joins in, before you reach down and reapply your impromptu Toga. Once you're back to holding it over you, you look into Luna's eyes and honestly say
“Hey, Luna. Thank you. For everything. Without you, I might never have remembered all of this.”
>”Anon... You'll be a great brother.”
>The words echo in your mind, her soft smile and teal eyes full of joy almost dominating your thoughts more than the image of Celestia's fat ass and long tongue.
>With one last lingering look and smile, the two of you go your separate ways. Luna to presumably go to court and rule, you to bang her sister.
>Hey, both important jobs.
>You carry on down the hallway unseen, only looking away from your goal to glance at ancient portraits.
>Old Ponies that worked for Celestia or great Equestrian heroes.
>Some of whom you knew. Some of whom, you were.
>>
>>34021119
>You take a brief moment to stand before an ancient painting.
>It's a grand thing, twice as tall as you are, of Farseer. Of you. You remember you used to take a moment out of your day every day to look at it. You remember it being once one of the last things you had ever looked at.
>It was striking. A male unicorn wearing a truly outstanding amount of clothes for a pony.
>But it was its eyes. Deep green and piercing, the same as yours, that made you look upon it back then. That almost made you wonder.
>And just like you, he was never truly alone. He spent his last making sure that his lover lived. Survived.
>Glancing down, you spot a slight discolouring in the marble beneath your feet. The slightest hint of red against the white.
>You smile. No one else was as good at getting stains out of marble as you had been it seemed.
>For a brief moment, you close your eye. And lean back into the dark.
>>
>>34021121
~#~

>You were not alone. All around you in a shapeless void were hundreds of versions of you. Young and Old. Weak and Strong. Some looked cautious. Worried. Afraid.
>Others were proud. Content.
>Many you recognised.
>Many you didn't.
>One, the old man you recognised and remembered as yourself, but also as Brightsmile, stepped forwards and spoke first.
>”Well. Here we are.”
“Here I am.”
>”Is this it, Anonymous? Is it over?”
“Am I going to keep desperately looking back for some kind of meaning, purpose and fulfilment? No. The past is over. I enjoyed it. Loved it. Sometimes I hated it. But whatever it was to me, it is only a memory now.”
>”And us?”
>A young man steps forward. He looked exactly like the day you first arrived in this world. The same clothes, the same hair, the same look. Maybe he had somehow been killed instantly upon reincarnating.
“You are still me. Even if I don't remember the specifics, you are as much a part of me as the rest of you are. Even if I didn't trace down your lives, you are still me.”
>”All of us?”
>The burnt body of a man wearing your skin stepped out of the dark.
“Perhaps. But it doesn't matter. Hold onto what is important, and let the rest go. If I keep looking back, to better days and times, then the way ahead shall always seem dark. But if I look forwards, keeping the memory alive but hoping to make new ones... Then the future, and life, is whatever I make it out to be.”
>All of them, the hundreds of you that had lived, loved, lost and died, nodded. And in one voice, they speak.
>”You are our monument. You are us, and we are you. Go forth Anonymous. Live, love, and remember.”
>You smile, a quiet, sad smile as one by one the copies fade into dust.
>Strangely, the last to go is not your three most recent lives, Cloudy eyes and whomever those other two ended up being called. Instead, it is the old and ancient Brightsmile. The oldest of them. The oldest of you.
>>
>>34021113
>You laugh as you spot Luna, full and radiant, looking as tall and as regal as her sister. Though obviously, not as fucking hot.
Them's fightin' words there.
>>
>>34021125
>The one that, in his own way, had started you down this path. That had allowed you to remember who you were. To break free from the endless cycle of life and death.
>”You told her?”
>You nod your head.
“I did.”
>”And did she tell you?”
“She did.”
>He smiles, as he slowly starts to fade away into the dark.
>”You hold onto her. Celestia is a special woman. You won't ever meet another like her in your life. No matter how long you live.”
“How long might that be?”
>He shrugs.
>”Another thousand years? A million? Eternity? Who could say. You might be gone tomorrow for all I know. Best not worry about what you cannot change. All you have to do is hold onto what matters for as long as you can.”
“I won't ever let go.”
>”Good... Let's make this a night to never forget.”
>He smiles, a strained but honest smile, even as he fades away entirely.
>For a moment, you're alone in the void.
>For the briefest of moments, you're unsure of what exactly to do.
>But then you remember. You know.
>You just have to wake up. And remember.
>And you are gone.

~#~
>>
>>34021130
>Eventually, you stride onto your favourite balcony. It wasn't the one attached to your room, nor the grand one beside the court.
>No, this was a small one at the edges of the castle.
>Starring west, towards the setting sun. From here you swore you could almost see all of Equestria. But that was not why you were here.
>Sat on a small bench, though thankfully larger than it had been, was her. Celestia. Her mane messy, but a quiet contentment on her face.
>She was on all fours, with her legs and butt towards the end of the bench with her head and graceful swanlike neck towards the middle.
>You sit down beside her, just staring at the setting sun before you for a few moments.
>She places her head on your shoulder.
>The two of you turn to each other. Taking in the majesty of her flowing ethereal mane, her glowing violet eyes, her brilliant alabaster fur and her honest yet wanting smile, you whisper and admit something to her.
“I love you.”
>”I love you.”
>Your breath slows, your throat constricting a bit.
>You lean towards her as she does towards you, your lips slightly pursed as you close your eyes as the last rays of the sun warm your face once again, and not for the last time.
>And the two of you kiss.
>At first, it's a chaste thing, a brush of lips against lips. And yet it holds. And the longer it holds, the more you and she put into it. Your mouths open. The two of you begin to explore. You place your left hand behind her head, in her mane, as she places her forehooves on both of your shoulders.
>The more the two of you get into it, the more you're pushed back.
>Eventually, you're lying down on the bench. You open your eyes to the twilight sky, and a hot and bothered Celestia looking down at you. Her ethereal tail stroking up and down your leg with a mind of its own, almost feeling like thousands of delicate fingers.
>>
>>34021137
>You can feel her winking pussy rubbing against your dick, almost imperceptibly stroking it. Celestia seems to have notice as well.
>She looks right into your eye, and with a commanding smug grin begins to raise and lower her hips, taunting you by stroking but never quite taking you.
“C'mon now. A thousands years isn't long enough?”
>”I don't know Anon. Why are you here?”
“Cosmically?” You ask with a wry grin as you begin to move your free right arm.
>”Ye...”
>She pauses as you manage to reach under her with your right arm and pinch her engorged teat. She moans audibly, drooling slightly, but somehow manages to continue.
>”YeS!” She cries out.
“For whatever reason I fucking want. Right now... And for as long as I can remember, and as long as I live, that will be you.”
>You continue to rub and pinch her teats, and she groans in approval, before quite suddenly reaching down and sealing your mouth with her own again.
>You and she both moan into each other's mouths, and her long tongue battles against yours for control.
>And at long last, she slowly pushed her hips down.
>Perhaps it had been a mercy that she had been essentially humping you. Her natural lubrication allowing some give.
>Still, the Sun Goddess, ruler of the most powerful nation on the planet and the very being that brought day and light, was...
>Well, to be crude, she was tight. It was your turn to quietly moan as she took your length. Still, she was hardly silent herself.
>Once your two hips touched, and you were firmly hilted, she shouts and cries in exhilaration.
>”Yes! Ah!”
>She flips her head back, her mane thrown back with it and unfurls her wings to their fullest extent. As she leans back forwards and places a gentle kiss against your nose she lifts her hip up slowly again. Almost dragging herself up your length.
>As amazing as it felt, there was no way you were going to make her do all the work.
>>
>>34019393
What does Wheel look like?
>>
>>34021144
>Just as it feels as if she's about to push back down for some of the most gentle yet passionate sex of your incredibly long life you extract your hand from playing with her crotch-tits and place both your right and left hands on her withers.
>And all of a sudden, you push with your left arm and roll the two of you over. She rolls with you, clearly hoping you might take the lead on this one. Meaning neither of you rolls off the bench onto the hard marble.
>Now, it's your turn to look down at her. Hot, bothered, her eyes half-lidded eyes staring into your own smirking almost as much as you were.
>You can feel her pussy wink faster and faster against you. She can still feel your length and warmth and girth still inside her.
>”Come on now Anonymous. You're not stopping there are you?”
>You smile, placing a gentle hand against her face. She leans ever so slightly into it, closing her right eye as she does so. She sticks her tongue out ever so slightly.
“Not on you're goddess damned life.”
>And you thrust with almost your entire body, gently but firmly into her.
>She shivers as your dick thrusts inside of you, moaning as she squeezes her eyes closed in pleasure. The shakes and vibrations threaten to undo you to, but you're made of stronger stuff than that. And this was not your first rodeo.
>”A...A... Anon!”
>She stretches out her right hoof, holding it above her head. You take your left hand away from her face and take her hoof into your hand, gently rubbing the frogs of it.
“It's okay... Nice and slow.”
>You slowly pull out of her, only to thrust right back in, gritting your teeth and desperately holding onto your definitions as her fiery hot depths. It feels like fucking an angel.
>As her ears and mind work out what you had just said, her eyes shoot open and those violet orbs stare into your own with a fierce intensity, only held back by the way they were shaking ever so slightly.
>”Slow? Not on your God damn life.”
>>
>>34021147
>And to your surprise, she pushes up with her hips. She almost neighs as you hilt inside her. To be fair, you almost do too.
>Even beneath you, she almost seems to take control. As she fiercely wraps her hind legs around you, preventing you from pulling out any further than she might allow, she sets the pace. And what more can you do but follow? Thrusting in and out with slow yet delicate strokes or fierce lunges that takes her breath away.
>Occasionally she tries to talk, say something. Anything. And every time it fades into incoherently mumbling, groaning and rapid exciting breathing as you take her there, beneath the moon and stars.
>Still, no matter how many times she clenches against you, another shaking orgasm coursing through her and threatening to bring you over the edge yourself, she never lets up from the lock her legs are keeping you in. Her front legs may be uselessly held over her head, you might be gripping her forehoof, but her thighs are tight against your own. They will not let up. Her intention is clear.
>After her fourth, you can feel your first coming at long last. Her prehensile tail hairs playing with your balls. Her hair may be a mess hanging over her face, a few strands over her eyes, but her exhausted and flushed face smiles and coos quietly to you as you try so hard to hold off what you both know is coming.
>”Inside Anon. No other way.”
>And like that, you let go.
>It feels unlike anything you've ever experienced. In a thousand years, nothing you've done could compare to busting a nut inside the Princess of the Sun. She shakes again, a simultaneous orgasm brought on by your own, and by instinct, the two of you launch yourselves into another deep kiss as you cum inside.
>>
>>34021154
>For hours the two of you rutted on that balcony. She screamed and moaned as she orgasmed countless numbers of times. You came inside once or twice...
>Maybe three...
>All right, a whole bunch of times.
>Sweat, cum and Marejuice staining that bench beneath the two of you something fierce. Soaking into her fur and your chest hair. At some point, your eyepatch fell away, and your and her hair hung loose. Sometimes, you were on top, gently thrusting inside her, holding her hoof as you and she came. Sometimes she'd ride atop of you, forcing you to grip the bottom of the bench for dear fucking life.
>A thousand-year dry streak ending in one night. And what a fucking night.
>And as the two of you held each other in your arms and forelegs, spooning and watching the sunrise from the balcony on the other side of the castle that you had teleported to, you know that this will happen again. And again.
>Time is a flat circle.
>Father Time might have his way.
>And you know what?
>Lying here beside the mare of your dreams, a literal Goddess and Princess
>With your whole life ahead of you
>With all of eternity ahead of you
>Maybe that isn't such a bad fucking thing.
>And slowly, you close your eyes as the first rays of the sun warm yours and her face, you whisper to yourself just before you sleep.
“This is good. Isn't it?”
>>
>>34021158
~#~

>30 years later

>There you were, minding your business.
>One moment, you were just bucking the last apples of the season free from their tree. Your mother would help, but Applejack was playing up how much her hip hurt when really she just wanted to sit there sipping the last of the ice tea that was supposed to be for you!
>It wasn't fair sometimes.
>Still, that wasn't the weird thing. You almost expected your mother to take a break at this point. No, the unexpected part came when you bucked the tree hard enough to free the last of the apples, except it wasn't just apples that fell from the tree.
>Hearing an ungodessly shout followed by a pretty solid thud, you turned around.
>Lying and moaning atop your now crushed apple basket lay some...
>Some strange creature.
>Brown fur on the top of its head, a long body. It was moaning and groaning deeply. Clearly a male of whatever the fuck it was.
>Too afraid to move or do anything, you trotted back slightly.
>”Fuck. Everything hurts! Last time I go fucking skydiving. Fucking Wonderbolts not pulling my para...”
>The creature has its eyes clenched shut, but when it opens them it almost seems surprised.
>It looks itself up and down, blinking and winking its right eye with surprise, then those brilliant green pools look into yours.
>”Ah shit. I must've died.”
>That... Wasn't what you were expecting it to say.
>He stands to his full height, towering over you.
>Despite that, he seems to be the awkward one, running his hand through his hair and coughing slightly out of embarrassment.
>”Hey. Um... I'm not going to hurt you, but I need to get back to my wife in Canterlot. Could I trouble you for some directions?”
>What else could you say but
“Holy shit! A talking Ape?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4QDnAjHjn8
>>
>>34021162
And... And that's it. Sorry for the raw cringe there, had to get through it. First bit I didn't write in Wetherspoons.

So, we are done! Thank you all for sticking with this for the last seven fucking months. It's been a hell of a journey. And honestly, you guys have been some of my favourite doods to write for.
I can post about what was cut and themes and such, but that is essentially it for the Green.
I'll write again, dunno what, dunno when (Except that one guy I said "Huh, good Idea" to about three months ago, you know who you are)

Cya Guys. Love you all.
>>
>>34019393
I'm gonna keep asking.

What does Wheel look like?
>>
>>34021168
Thanks for the story. It's been a great ride and I have had fun reading every bit of it. I'd love to see what was cut out, so maybe put it in a separate bin and link it here? In any case, I'd really love to read whatever story you've got lined up next for us.
>>
>>34021168
alright, first and foremost typos that I came across
>inflicting your upon
"inflicting your will upon"?
>Sure, some part of you wanted to give in to fear. This was a time of ending. Without a chance to look back, what would you do with yourself? >Could you truly live without that constant, gnawing fear of death? Could you bear to outlive the things you loved?
missed line break?
>Even if you outlived hundred of Ponies
hundreds*
>turning around to show wink again as well
"show a wink"?
holy hell can't believe it's been seven months. nice choice in finishing music. overall i deeply enjoyed the story, i felt that it had good pacing (helped by your damn style of always doing a break at a cliffhanger), the topics it went over reflect a lot on what we as humans have to deal with concerning death, rememberance, and moving forward, and lots of good feels. answered all the questions I had way back at the beginning and any that arose during the story (waifu tia, luna, both?) and to my memory there aren't any loose ends aside from MAYBE if anon interacts with twilight and/or cadance in the future, but that's a small complaint
>(Except that one guy I said "Huh, good Idea" to about three months ago, you know who you are)
oh yea the "bicentennial man" comment. i look forward to see how that goes
in any case last thing I want to say is thank you. thank you for taking the time out of your life to post horsewords on a columbian coffee growing forum. see you space cowboy
>>
>>34021168
>>34021186
also i greatly enjoyed being able to witness a full story from beginning to end for once so there's that as well
>>
>>34021186
Thanks, I'll correct them for pastebin. Also, good fucking memory anon
>>
>>34019393
Please tell me.

What does Wheel look like?
>>
>>34021202
Four legs, a cutie mark, cute tufty ears, great mane and tail.
Dude's offline right now, try again in a few hours
>>
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>>34021168
That was a great story, loved the cozy ending with Celestia.

And a thousand years of pent up lust must've taken quite some time to burn through, poor castle staff. Poor Luna.
>>
>>34021168
I still want more shenanigans with Anon and Luna.
>>
>You are Anon
>As far as life goes, yours has been quite good, for the most part
>You have a stable, well-paying job, a nice apartment, and enough cash at any given time that you don’t really want for much
>Overall, you’re doing well
>Up until about five seconds ago
>You’d been standing at the station, waiting for the train to arrive, when a set of hands slammed into your back
>Unable to stop yourself in time, you twisted mid-air, reaching out, trying to get a look at who’d pushed you, some part of you wanting someone to help though deep down you knew it was too late
>You could see yourself in the reflection of the train
>It was strange how the world slowed down around you in the brief moments before you died
>It was almost like the world had come to a stop
>. . .
>Wait, no, it was exactly like that
>You could scarcely move, looking about for some indication of what might have been going on
>Was this what dying was like?
>Your mind slowed things down so that each second lasted hours?
>In a way, you were glad that your passing would be brief and not a drawn-out, painful experience
>Being killed so randomly on top of being forced to endure an agonizing experience seemed like the ultimate cruelty
>”Oh shit, another one? I don’t have time for this, uh, hello!”
>What?
>Did someone just speak to you?
>”Yes I did and yes you must feel a little blindsided by this all, yadda yadda yadda, you’re dead, I’m God and you’re going to be reincarnated as a part of the ever-turning wheel yadda yadda.”
>Hold on, reincarnation?
>God?
>What?
>”Yeah, that’s what I said. I’m just going to send you along now.”
>Wait wait!
>This is way too much to process this quickly!
>”Not really. Processed, there you go, life begins anew in, uh. . . Ponyville?”
>Pony-what?
>”. . .Oops.”

[--------]
>>
>>34021251
[--------]

>You began to slowly open your eyes to the sound of someone you didn’t know cooing to you
>A faint, rose-tinted light was shining down from above while the smell of mashed carrots reached your sensitive nose
>A nose which much have been punched at some point because it was /way/ too big and broad and. . . green?
>A cool, metal spoon pressed up against your lips and you found yourself tilting your head back, staring up and into a set of massive, half-lidded eyes
>To say you were taken aback was an understatement
>Whatever it was, it was crooning something as it fed you, pulling the spoon free before reaching back for another scoop of the mush it kept in a small bowl beside it
>It was bizarre, in its way, that it was recognizable at all to you
>The creature holding you looked a little like
>”There’s a good little Pony.”
>WHAT THE FUCK

[--------]

>Ten Years Later

[--------]

>You are Shining Armor, a recent graduate of the academy
>Probably in part due to your upbringing, status, and high grades in school, you’d been given an important placement
>You would be joining the Emerald Horn’s unit!
>As the train pulled into the station, you adjusted your hat and hair, making sure you fit the bill as a member of the Army of the Sun
>Your uniform had been perfectly pressed, your coat had been maintained at the exact length, and your mane and tail were both in tip-top condition
>Pausing to look your reflection over, you couldn’t help but think that you happened to look quite a bit like the Stallions on those recruitment posters
>With a certain pep in your step, you left the train, pulled your luggage free, and soon spied a mare off to the side
>You were unsure whether she was sent there to meet you until her eyes met yours
>They were hard and narrow, more like a predator than a Pony, and you found your step soon slowing until you came to a full stop in front of the serious-looking mare.
>>
>>34021260
>”Armor?”
>You quickly nodded, going to extend a hoof only to have her brush you off, turning to point to the road that lead away from the station
“O-Oh, is that where the carriage is?”
>Those sharp eyes returned to you, a snarl of a grin forming on the mare’s face
>”No carriage. We’re marching.”
“No carriage? But. . . the meeting point is at least nine miles from here!”
>”Ten.”
>Before you could protest further, the mare was off, heading down the road, soon leaving you in the dust
>You waited, watching her as she went, sure that this was some kind of practical joke, a way of hazing the new colt
>Then, when the mare marched out of sight, you were certain that she’d turn around
>You eventually started to run

[--------]

>Panting and gasping, your legs burned beneath you as you staggered into the camp, just barely managing to collapse on an unoccupied bench
>For the first while, you’d held your luggage in the air with your magic, but maintaining that constant flow of magic was exhausting and so you soon had to put everything down
>The mare who was supposed to have been leading you never stopped marching along, meaning you didn’t get a single break to pause and rest for fear of losing her
>You’d switched to dragging your luggage, the extra weight continuing to slow you down and she just
>Kept
>Marching!
>All you wanted now was to crawl into a warm bed, maybe have a little snack, and go to sleep
>You mumbled as much to yourself before a squeaky, yet strangely confident, voice piped up in front of you
>”Care to repeat that, Armor?”
>You opened your eyes a crack, glimpsing what looked like small green hooves, four of them in fact, standing on the bench in front of you
>Tilting your head back further, you followed them up, past the official uniform, beyond the badge and past the-
>Oh sweet Faust that was the Alicorn Amulet
>You wailed internally as you practically fell off the bench, snapping to attention the moment your hooves hit the ground
>>
>>34021262
“Sh-Shining Armor, reporting for duty!”
>Wincing at how close your saluting leg had come to hitting your commanding officer in the face, Anonymous didn’t even flinch, large, sharp eyes piercing into your own, much like how that mare had before only these seemed /interested/ in you
>Trying to draw your attention away from them, you adjusted to look the Emerald Horn over, taking him in
>Equestria had quite a bit to be boastful over when a foal like this was powerful enough to wield something like the Alicorn Amulet, though when you looked at them, the only thing that appeared foal-like was their physical form
>The colt standing on the bench, leaving the two of you eye-to-eye wore their official uniform and Amulet, a badge given for commitment to duty and struggling through adversity pinned to them
>On top of their mint green head was a hat befitting their station, their messily-organized, dark-green mane stuffed up beneath it while their tail, which matched their mane in color, hung behind them
>Their body was tiny, yet still Anonymous commanded respect, even when only standing there
>Anonymous looked you over as well, making no effort to hide their eyes as they ran you up and down, like a cold, clinical version of the various mares in the camp who were no doubt doing much the same
>Eventually, they finished, stepping down off the bench and trotting away to their private quarters
>”Your training will start tomorrow morning.”
>With that, they slipped past the flaps at the front of their tent, no more than a faint silhouette
“Is that. . . it?”
>You looked around, noting that the few mares sitting in the nearby area were either looking at you with a sympathetic expression on their face, or one that seemed far too amused by the Emerald Horn’s statement
>More than a little put out, you found your way to your quarters (another disappointing moment in a sour day) and went to sleep
>Hopefully tomorrow would start off better

[--------]
>>
>>34021265
>You were woken from your sleep by your tent exploding
>”This is you 0500 wake-up call! Are you ready?!”
>You were lucky that the explosion had managed to hit almost everything in the tent /but/ you
>You were lucky the explosion hadn’t done much more than lightly singe the end of your tail
>You were lucky that, as the fire began to slowly fade around you, you’d manage to conjure up a simple shield almost unconsciously
>At the moment though, you weren’t /feeling/ very lucky as you watched your tent, as well as your possessions, go up in smoke, those things that hadn’t already been destroyed in the initial blast, that is
>”Not going to start moving? That’s just fine by me! Why don’t we test the strength of your shield spell then? Fire another!”
>You slowly looked upwards to the source of the noise, spying a tiny, green shape flying above your tent with metal wings
>Anonymous, the Emerald Horn, was staring down at you, a maniacal grin on their face
>They had their flight pack on, a pair of metal wings harnessed to their body and powered by a mixture of both his own magic, as well as that of his amulet
>He was the only Unicorn out there that could reliably operate the wings, which put him on a level near-equal to any Alicorn
>He was an inspiration for aspiring Colts every where, a Colt among Mares
>And now he was looking down at you with a terrifyingly gleeful expression
>Scrambling from your bed, you started to gallop, another explosion landing directly on your crumpled bed, obliterating it in a fiery explosion, the shockwaves of which pounded on your shield, already starting to crack it
“S-Sir! What’s going-“
>”Oh? Are you telling me you feel safe enough under there to stop and talk? Just because you managed to dodge the second round? I guess that means you haven’t woken up yet! Artillery, barrage, my coordinates. Salt the Earth.”
>>
>>34021269
>There was a faint hiss across the communication spell the commander was using, and then you saw sparks shooting up into the still-dark sky from afar, the rising sun keeping you from tracking them
>”I’d suggest you keep running, Armor! Not even Celestia herself could survive one of Equestria’s barrages!”
>In a state of utter disbelief, you started to cast your wings spell so you could rise to the Emerald Horn’s position, only for a whistling noise to distract you, an explosion landing directly to your left sending you tumbling, nearly shattering your shield then and there
>The worst of it was, that was only the first of the many that were incoming
>Letting out a scream, you started to run again while above you, Anonymous cackled

[-------]

>Two agonizing hours later, the shots stopped firing
>You wanted to stay in the hole you’d dug for the rest of your life
>Above you, still flying, was Anonymous, whose expression had changed from one of sadistic glee to something akin to a mother’s disappointed gaze
>”Still alive down there? You know, it’s rather rude to not put up a fight. Even /I/ get bored watching a clueless imbecile run around for hours.”
>You didn’t have any kind of response to that other than losing the nothing in your stomach
>You’d only gotten to bed at around two in the-
>No, you. . . you were a soldier now, you got to bed at 0200
>You hadn’t had dinner last night since you’d felt too exhausted to even eat and now, only three hours after tossing and turning, you’d been made to run for your life for hours
>As you stood in your own shame, cheeks wet with tears, you peered up at Anonymous as they sighed and shook their head, shrugging with their forelegs
>”Well since you seem to prefer running, I’ll give you a clue. I recommend you catch this as it’s the only one you’re getting.”
>Something dropped from the foal’s hoof, glinting in the air as it tumbled towards you
>>
>>34021271
>For a moment, you hesitated, not wanting to drop your most recent, and most fragile, shield in case of a trap but, as the circular thing fell towards the ground, you dropped your shield, using magic to catch it
>Bringing it to your face, you realized it was a compass
>”You might have noticed that you’re no longer in the cozy camp. Obviously I wouldn’t barrage it, /I/ sleep there. I brought you out here for the second part of your morning routine. Use that compass to make your way back to camp.”
>Looking around at your environment, you had no clue as to where you were
>”If I had to do it on foot, it’d take me four hours but, since you’re a lot bigger than I am, you doing it in two sounds reasonable, right?”
“W-Wait, you can’t just-“
>You didn’t get a response as Anonymous flapped their wings and flew off, leaving you alone, drained, and with nothing on you but a compass

[--------]

>You were Anonymous, the Emerald Horn, a soldier in the Army of the Sun, and above all, you were having a good day today
>There was nothing quite like the look on the face of someone going through an experience like that for the first time, a fact that was worth hauling their sleeping ass all the way out into the middle of nowhere
>Well, not exactly the middle of nowhere, but you and your unit had wiped Sombra’s forces out of this area a while back so you didn’t feel too worried
>You expected that by the time Shining Armor got back to the camp, they’d have given up on a military life for good and you’d be greatly rewarded for “helping out”
>Turns out having friends in high places meant you didn’t get to do much, especially when you were the family’s only Colt
>Sending a small surge of magic through your wing pack, you began to climb higher into the air, your horn alighting to keep the drag from your increasing speeds from bothering you
>In less than a minute you were above the clouds, feeling Celestia’s light shining down on you
>>
>>34021276
>This was a realm typically restricted to pegasi and flying craft, as well as the only living Alicorn
>While Unicorns in Celestia’s army used a wings spell to let them fly, as aerial maneuverability was extremely important, the magic couldn’t hold out if they pushed above the clouds
>You could feel a smile forming across your face as you kept climbing higher, getting a good look at the land below
>The area was mostly heavily wooded, though there were a few darkened patches, namely that of artillery fire or blast magic
>You imagined your latest addition trudging through the woods somewhere down below, their noble façade breaking away as they were forced to march through all manner of muck and wildlife
>It was a small price to pay for a good lesson
>Stallions, and especially Colts, simply weren’t suite for anything near combat other than a few, very rare exceptions
>Mares, in this world, could simply do the same jobs better
>As your communication spell set-up hummed to life, your thoughts shifted to it, hooking yourself in, so to speak
>”Command to Emerald Horn, over.”
“Call received, command, over.”
>”Unidentified magical signature detected in alpha sector, sending coordinates now, over.”
>A spark of magic flowed up and into your horn, a projection shining out from the nubby tip, letting you read the-
>Damn it, those were a stones-throw away from here!
“Command, do we know which way the UMS’s are moving, over.”
>Another ping, and a line formed on the display, highlighting the detected path from the invaders
>There was no doubt about it, these were Sombra’s soldiers, no doubt scouting out the area, seeing if Equestria’s defenses were weak
>They wouldn’t get too far in past the artillery and ground troops, but Armor was out there, no doubt displaying his signature like an idiot
>Damn it, if he got killed /you’d/ get in trouble, you just knew it
>>
>>34021282
>Twisting mid-air, you folded your wing pack in, letting yourself drop like a bullet, your pre-made shield like a spear, helping you to fall faster
“Emerald Horn, moving to intercept, over.”
>”Roger that, good luck, over.”
>Gritting your teeth, you rocketed downwards, expanding your wings just in time to shoot off towards your target

[--------]

>You are Shining Armor, and you feel like you’re about ready to pass out
>You’d been hiking for the last half hour and, after your “wake-up call”, you’d been left drained
>It was all you could do to keep the compass in the air in front of you
>You had no energy left for any magic more complicated or potent than simply holding that one, little thing
>Stepping around a boulder, you walked through the treeline and into yet another blast zone, grimacing at the pockmarked earth
>The area was desolate, which much of the trees that ringed the area half-dead, rotting away
>Spying and upturned chunk of earth, you almost crawled towards it, letting your weary body collapse onto it
>Finally stopping, you took stock of yourself
>You had bruises forming all over your body, you were experiencing physical, and magical, fatigue, and you were pretty sure you’d thrown up again at some point in the woods
>Nothing was coming out but your body was still protesting
>A part of you wondered what the punishment for arriving late would be, but surely it couldn’t be any worse than this, right?
>Tough as he might have been, Anonymous /was/ a colt, right?
>An old proverb flashed through your head as you looked up, seeing the tiny Colt in question cruising towards you
>Speak of the Devil and she shall appear
>With a yelp, you dropped the compass, trying to raise a shield but your magic faltered before you could even begin to raise one
>>
>>34021286
>As the Colt flew closer and closer, you shut your eyes, curling up into a ball, awaiting the worst, only to feel the wind they gave off flatten your fur, sending your short mane and tail fluttering about
>”Keep those eyes open, Armor, you’re going to see how we earn our pay!”
>Doing as you were told, you twisted about on the spot, staring off at the sight of Anonymous, the Emerald Horn, as they flew towards a group of Ponies dotting the sky, ones that you hadn’t even realized were approaching

[--------]

>You are Anonymous and you can see the enemy approaching
>Five Unicorns, four of which were using a wings spell, while the last stood in a heavily armored chariot, one that was being pulled by two of the four Pegasi
>The two Pegasi that were on their own flanked the group, each one holding a storm cloud in their forelegs
>Each of them had one of Sombra’s helms on them, locked in place with multiple straps and spells
>No doubt each one was booby trapped too
>All in all, today was going to be a great day
>The one in the chariot must have been the observer as they quickly started to point and wave their hooves, gesturing in your direction
>Horns lit up, firing a volley of blasts towards you, spells cutting through the air
>At the last second, you shut your wing pack, dropping like a stone before spreading them out again, catching the updraft, letting it send you back up into the air as the Unicorns tried to track your movements
>Soaring higher, you pulled your horn back, letting a powerful charge build inside of it before dropping again
>Your tiny body let you slip between the bolts, electricity crackling along your hooves and horn as they skimmed past you
>You nearly hit the treeline before swinging your horn down and spreading your wings again, the burst of heat flinging you upwards faster than the Pegasi flying the chariot could predict
>>
>>34021290
>Building up energy in your horn as your wing pack carried you, a blade formed around your horn, one that let you slice through the underbelly of one puller, grazing the other before flapping, dodging through the protective lightning bolts from the Storm Pegasi
>The Observer yelled something in the unknown language Sombra’s brainwashed soldiers used, their chariot beginning to list to the side
>Breaking away from formation, the right and left-most Unicorns flapped their wings, chasing you through the sky as you began to pull away
>Rolling your body one way, and then the other, you kept them between you and their allies, ensuring that those behind couldn’t fire upon you without risking friendly fire
>That meant you only had to worry about the two who were on you now
>The downside of the Wings Spell was that the wings were magically formed, ensuring a steady, if minimal, flow of magic to continue to use
>On top of that, as they were simple constructs and not fully articulate wings like those of a Pegasi or a Wing Pack, it meant they were slower to react than you were
>They were better suited for a slow, head-on attack rather than flitting through the air
>Lastly, they were fragile, so much so that even the sun’s light would burn them away
>Taking advantage of that fact, you veered upwards, shooting up and into the clouds above, disappearing from view
>They’d follow you for a few seconds but soon enough they’d reach their limit and have to descend
>As you burst above the clouds, feeling the heat of Celestias sun, you let out a laugh
>How could they ever have expected to win this?

[--------]

>You are Shining Armor, hiding behind a rock
>Anonymous just disappeared above the clouds, the two Unicorns that had been pursuing them pulling back while the others seemed to be moving to hopefully intercept
>Now all you needed to do was to get out of here while their attention was-
>”Zalak? Ka! Hamassak!”
>>
>>34021293
>Your blood ran cold as the observer, still hanging on to their slow-moving chariot, pointed in your direction, the two Unicorn who’d been chasing the commander turning to stare down at your hiding spot
>They’d spotted you!
>Ducking back down, you tried to force whatever magical reserves you might have had left to come out in the form of a shield but you had nothing left to give
>Quivering behind the rock, all you could do was listen to muttered speech in a language you didn’t know
>The sound of near-silent wings flapping towards you let you know they had indeed seen you
>Were they planning on finishing you off up-close?
>Did you really seem like such a minor threat?
>No no no
>Go away!
>Commander!
>Anonymous!
>Where was he?
>You could hear them now, they were so close you could practically taste the magic coming off of them
>You’re going to die!
>They’re going to kill you!
“Please n-no!”
>A crazed laugh sounded out from far above you, the two Unicorns who were practically standing on the rock you were hiding behind pausing before whinnying in surprise
>An explosion bellowed out, followed by two more, a Unicorn collapsing over the rock with much of its head no longer attached
>The other took off, only to be struck mid-air by an emerald blast, the bolt of light catching them in the wing, rupturing the weave
>AS the Unicorn spiraled to the ground, and you dry heaved, you pulled yourself up and looked out to see what had happened
>Anonymous was upside down, their horn smoking as the chariot, and it’s rider, dropped from the sky, a smoldering wreckage
>There was a twisted grin on the Colt’s face as he rolled mid-air, avoiding bolts of lighting from the Pegasi with ease
>Dodging under one, three green bolts shot out, one going wide before the other two connected, taking the Pegasus out
>The one remaining pulled their hooves back before tossing their storm cloud down at the Commander
>>
>>34021295
>Maybe they hoped it would kill Anonymous
>Maybe they thought nopony would be crazy enough to fly straight into a storm, especially one with metal wings
>Whatever their thought process was, it cost them dearly as the grinning lunatic flew straight up, a sickly, green glow encompassing their horn
>Anonymous plunged upwards and into the storm cloud, dragging it with them as it reacted to their presence, lightning going wild, shooting out every which way
>For a moment there, you thought the Colt wasn’t going to make it
>Then, their horn pierced the underbelly of the retreating Pegasus, the magical force ripping through them, a long, green spear tearing out through their back
“The. . . Emerald Horn. . .”
>The Pegasus’s body hung in the air for a moment as the magic impaling it faded away, and then they dropped, slamming into the ground in a messy heap
>The storm cloud began to disperse, revealing Anonymous who, aside from a lightly-singed uniform, looked practically unharmed, even as they coughed up a few remnants of the black cloud
>You couldn’t help but stare up at them, your mouth agape
>Even after all that, they were smiling
>The disturbing sight was so distracting, you didn’t even notice the remaining Unicorn, who’d had their wings broken, sneak up behind you, a magical blade forming at your throat
>Even through the helmet and the magic that controlled them, you could hear the fear in the Unicorns voice, the terrified panic that was setting in
”C-Commander, I-“
>The words died in your throat as a green spark danced past you, the blade at your throat disappearing as the Unicorn’s head exploded beneath the helmet, their lifeless body collapsing to the ground
>As you stood in a pile of gore, the smell of death and ponies burning forcing its way into your blood, staining your nose and mouth with the stench and taste, Anonymous, the Emerald Horn, and your commander, slowly lowered themselves down
>"Welcome to the Two-Hundred-and-Herd Mage Battalion~"
>>
>>34021297
So I watched Saga of Tanya the Evil recently.
>>
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>>34021303
Interesting but far too fucking edgy for my tastes, holy shit.
>>
>>34021314
Hey like I said, I watched Saga of Tanya the Evil recently.
>>
>>34021297
>>34021303
I fucking knew it, I knew it was based off that chinese cartoon.
>>
>>34021303
>using they to refer to Anon
>when 99.9% of the time that name is used for a male, and can be safely assumed that he is male unless otherwise stated
anon, this isn't tumblr, that kinda unnecessary shit just makes you look like a faggot
>>
>>34021328
I figured it was pretty blatant.

>>34021356
I'm just trying not to repeat the same words too many times, anon. Besides, if 'they' is used 99.9% of the time for guys then why does it matter that it's used to refer to guys in this green?
>>
>>34021371
Well, I haven't seen that series yet so this little bit of green was enjoyable. Different and a bit on the edgy side, sure, but I was still entertained.
>>
>>34021378
Glad you enjoyed it anon.
>>
>>34019393
I was told to wait an hour before asking again.
I've waited an hour.

What does Wheel look like?
>>
>She should have known no pony would show.
>Their precious Princess Celestia was away for emergency dignitary business, and so there was no reason for them to drag themselves out of bed just to come see her.
>Nevermind that they're missing out on one of the most beautiful night skies ever that Luna put extra care into, or even that she's their ruler too.
>They couldn't even be bothered to show up and try to smooze up to her, that's how inferior a royal she is to her sister.
>And so Luna sat, alone on her birthday.
>No doubt Celestia would apologize profusely for not being here, pretending she cares when she returns.
>Always pretending.
>Perhaps Luna should finally rip that smug look from her sister's face.
>Replace it with something more genuine, like fear.
>Perhaps she should be the nightmare her kingdom treats her as, always eager to forget her when the sun rises.
>Yes, that's what she should do.
>She should teach them all a les-
>*POP*
>A strange creature, naked save for a towel around its waist appears in the room.
>It's clearly damp as it looks around, eyes falling her before it blinks.
>Sher blinks back.
>Then it starts screaming in a masculine voice.
>Luna mimics him.
>"Ahhh!"
"Ahhh!"
>"Who are you?! Where am I?"
"What are you?! What are thou doing at my birthday celebration?!"
>"I just got out of the shower, and-! Wait, this is your birthday party?"
>The sudden shift from screaming to confusion catches Luna off guard.
"Er, verily, did thou not notice our cake?"
>"Yeah, no, I saw that. Chocolate, good choice. I'm wondering where the guests are, though. Has the party not started yet?"
>Luna blushes.
"We do not care one bit for their absence! It is their folly not to be here and enjoy our company."
>"So no one showed, then," the creature states. "That sucks."
"We do not need your pity, strange creature, only answers of what you-"
>"So no one has even song you happy birthday? That's just not right. Here, light those candles and we'll do things right."
>>
>>34021168
Oh boy. Celly & Luna are going to be so pissed at the Wonderbolts. kek. Man, that was FANTASTIC! It was a great ride along through Anon's existential journey. Great lore & world building. Excellent character development and story telling. It really captured the imagination and will live on in my mind for years to come. I hope you consider doing little one-shots within this universe at sometime in the future. You certainly left plenty of room for some. Thank you for creating and sharing this wonderful piece of literary art.
>>
>>34021297
> Anonya
> Shining Armor as what's her name
It works, a good fit for rgre.
I think diamond dogs would be a nice divergence from from merely reinterpreting the anime, as they would have unique tactics and could cause major damage to cities, forts etc. Then there are dragons, which would require significant firepower to fend off a single adult. Combined with the problem of brainwash ponies, there is plenty of room for original conflicts and resolutions. I'm looking forward to what you do with it.

>>34021356
>>34021371
> They
I agree, it was a little jarring. It's fine to alternate between Anon's name and "he", readers are less sensitive to the repetition than you are when you are writing it. I don't think I've ever seen "they" as a synonym of "he", the association with plural or unknown/undifferentiated reference objects is too strong.
>>
>>34019393
I feel like I'm not having my question answered out of pure spite, so I will keep asking out of pure spite.

What does Wheel look like?
>>
>>34021534
Sorry Anon, it's a legitimate question. I'm not great at describing.

She's a pegasus with short black hair and a steel grey/blue coat. A spoked wheel in an oil stain for a cutie mark because somehow parents are super psychic about their children's future.
>>
>>34021509
Thank you for the advice, anon, I suppose I'll keep to using he/him/his/etc for the time being for simplicity's sake. As for the rest, I don't know if I'll be doing any more or not. This was really just a fun idea I felt like writing up. Still, thank you for the ideas
>>
>>34021575
Finally.

Thank you.
>>
>>34021433
Celestia felt just awful about having to miss her little sister's birthday, and rushed back to the Everfree Castle as soon as her business in the Gryphonstone was concluded.
>Luna had been so depressed and lonely lately, and Celestia always being the one called on to settle disputes and problems hasn't been helping the issue.
>It made Luna feel unwanted, and that hurt Celestia.
>It also hurt when she realized she would not make it back home until morning, having officially missed the party.
>As she flew, she wished with all her heart that at least one pony showed up to be with her sister.
>Wishes can be powerful if they are selfless and true.
>When she arrives, she quickly rushes to the room the party is meant to be held in, and opens the door.
>She's afraid of what she might see, but she did not expect her sister drunkenly swaying with a foreleg around the shoulders of a strange ape creature, the two holding a bottle of wine each as they sing an off-key song.
>When they spot Celestia, Luna smiles and and waves.
>"Heeey Tia, how'er you? You meet my new friend Anon?" she says, pointing to the creature who takes a swig from its bottle, then tips it upside down, shaking it to show that it's empty. "He's the best!"
>"You know it," he slurs, tossing the bottle onto the pile of others behind them. "That's five, Luny, I'm pulling ahead."
>"Oh no you don't!" she counters, chugging the rest of her bottle before smacking her lips and sighing. "Hah! Five! Nice try, colt, but you're not gonna beat me!"
>"I can do this all night."
>"Actually, I already raised the sun," Celestia comments absently, trying to comprehend the scene before her.
>Luna blinks.
>"Really? Oh, I guess my birthday's over then," she looks to Anon, blinks one eye, then the other, smiles, and adds. "Thanks, pal, for making it fun. You... You're really great."
>"No prob, bob."
>"It's Luna."
>"Just a saying."
>"You're saying what?"
>"You're lucky you're so cute."
>"I'm cute?"
>"As a button."
>>
>>34021162
>>”Ah shit. I must've died.”
This need an epilogue about how the fuck ponies react from Celestia's husband dying in public and her immediately hooking with some random ape thing the day after.
Because unless the curse of "other people's memories of you get changed and so does your corpse" got magically lifted, that's gonna be a lot more inconvenient that just having to travel back to Canterlot.
>>
>>34021774
I LOVE IT
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>>34021829
That would be excellent entertainment throughout both of their very, very long lived lives.
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>>34019610
Thanks friend. Don't get too excited for spike... :^).

>>34019672
>I fucking love this ridiculous story
That's the goal.
>Keep it up, Amoeba.
I will make the effort friend. Thanks for reading.

>>34019783
>Has just the right mix of absurd premise and RGRE.
Thanks, bud. Good to know the story is coming off as intended. I don't want this to be too serious, I have another story for that. Thanks for reading.

>>34019792
Thanks friend. Thanks for reading.

>>34020029
Thanks dude. Idk if it is for other people, but making voices sound different is hard 4me. Thanks for letting me know i'm doing it right, and thanks for reading.

>>34020261
Thanks friend.

>>34020522
Thanks man. Glad to know people are enjoying. Thanks for reading.
>>34020403
>>34021145
>>34021172
>>34021202
>>34021425
>>34021534
>>34021623
This >>34021575 isn't me. I was going to withhold details for a while, because i have nefarious story plans, but since you asked. Spoilers:
She's a light blue, if you google a 1972 challenger the color is referred to as 'Blue Sky' (it's one of my favorite muscle car colors. Especially coupled with some black and white stripes) Chrysler code DT8600. She has medium length dark gray hair. I'm not good with color matching so whatever you want. Personally i imagine a charcoal gray. She'll put white highlights in to dress up at some a point. She ties her hair back when she's working, but doesn't crop it short because longer hair is marely. I've not thought about her eyes yet, i think they'd be similar to RD but lighter like pinker. Her qt mark in my mind was always a wheel with smoke (story on that later). Although " A spoked wheel in an oil stain" actually sounds kind of good. Around the shop she has a habit of wrapping a rag around her wing, she doesn't normally wear anything to stay "light weight", but she actually likes to dress up (story later). And yes she has chest fluff.
>>
>>34021998
Sorry for impersonating you btw, I just wanted that autist to shut the fuck up
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>>34021998
How is that worthy of spoilers?
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>>34022005
I am curious about one thing.

What does Wheel look like?
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You ever wonder how many boys grew up having their first crushes or waifuing MLP mares? You ever wonder how many women are going to get fucked by having to, unknowingly, compete with the perfect idealized females?

How many women do you think are going to get tossed aside in favor of fictional waifus over the next decade?
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>>34022107
There's at least one guy in /nmp/ who has purportedly grown up with the show for the entirety of his puberty.
Think of how many kids watched sailor moon back in the day and it's probably a similar amount that watched mlp.
Odds are high that it's probably a decent percentage of young boys who grew up with standards.
>>
>>34021303
I guess that explains the ridiculousness of the story that I gave up on half way through. How and why do people so willingly put up with knowing literally nothing about how an armed force trains its troops and conducts itself when writing a story about exactly that?
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>>34022169
>Odds are high that it's probably a decent percentage of young boys who grew up with standards.
Thank you, based MLP.
>>
>”Some of you dykes are alright . If any of you go to Canterlot High, don’t show up tomorrow. Happening thread will be posted in the morning. So long space robots.”
>>
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>>34022236
>you will never pin the edgy, depressive girl to the hallway wall while class is in session and rub her off right there
>tell her panting, shaking form if she's interested in more to come find you and squeeze her ass as you leave
>later on at the end of the day find her fidgeting and blushing right outside the door of your last class
>you will never know you inadvertently prevented a school shooting and got yourself a devoted girlfriend at the same time
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horses are cute and should all be impregnated
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>>34022276
Correct
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>>34022005
I think your heart was in the right place, but it was morally the wrong thing to do. Not that I mind, anyone can copy my name. Stay chill Anon.

>>34022068
I was going to have a bit of a slice of life/romance between Anon and wheel. Thier first proper date was the plan.
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Anons, what type of mare is your perfect waifu? Who would you immediately beeline for after arriving in rgr Equestria and take by complete surprise by aggressively hitting on?
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>>34022324
Mares secure enough in their sexuality to not be afraid of acting colty.
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>>34022444
>aggressively hitting on the flower trio
That would be really fun.
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>>34022169
You first nut ever happeed when I was like 8 to some Blaziken hentai but that was because mom touched me and I learned about that stuff too damn early
But after that, mlp came along and I came into puberty on a 7 year streak of busting nuts to mares (sometimes stallions too, teenage years were weird for me) I'm 21 now and am only attracted to technicolor horses.
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>>34022182
How else are they supposed to write about how their badass self-insert character (with a 6-pack and a 12-inch dick) is the coolest most merciless killing machine who ever told someone that it wasn't personal, kid?
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>>34021575
>because somehow parents are super psychic about their children's future.

>Anon notices a connection between pony names and their abilities
>Luna's talent is moving the moon
>Celestia's talent is moving the sun
>Rarity can find rare gems
>Rainbow Dash is fast as fuck
>Vinyl Scratch is a DJ
>Octavia Melody is a cellist
>Bon Bon/Sweetie Drops is a candy store operator/secret agent Jane Bon
>Applejack is good at apples
>Anon decides that, when he has a foal, he's going to name her something that guarantees greatness
>It doesn't work, and "SuperGreat the Rich and Famous" happily enjoys her career as a cheese-maker, which is reflected in her cheese-wedge cutie mark
>Turns out, Equestrian harmony magic tunes ponies into their children's magical frequencies at the time of birth, and they're able to subconsciously get a good feel for what sort of destiny they're leaning towards
>Just a magical flash of "my kid's gonna be great at X-Thing"
>The name does not dictate the destiny; the destiny dictates the name
>Forcing a different name on the foal won't change its destiny, anymore than painting a car to look like a dog will make it bark and roll over.
>Anon, not being native to Equestria, does not get this magical flash and is ignorant to this phenomena
>Now Anon knows why his wife wanted to name their foal "Gouda Times" all those years ago
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>>34012398
I like poner.
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Holding drinks with your teats is the new fad
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>>34012398
I like ponies a real lot.
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>>34021774
>And thus, Anon prevented the rise of Nightmare Moon, and changed history forever.
>Hearing out Luna's plight, he starts making suggestions on how to increase her popularity and that for her night.
>First, clubbing.
>She isn't sure how making a building with loud music, flashy lights, a bar, and dancing is going to help her, but Anon assures that ponies just need a safe place to socialize after dark to encourage them to stay up.
>It turns out to work well, and soon, Luna is more popular than ever with the youngsters of Everfree, and less popular with the parents and those living close to the club.
>A lot of parents still use their kids as unpaid labor, after all, and now a lot are sleepy throughout the day.
>Still, Luna loves her club, dubbed The Moon Landing by Anon, and especially the balcony where ponies can step off of the dance floor to breathe fresh air and enjoy her star-sparkled sky.
What else does Anon do to help Luna's popularity.
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Would you still like a mare if she wasn't considered attractive?
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>>34022236
>The girl was just looking sad, desperate, and anxious
>You knew her from a few of your classes (which you're doing well in; thanks, magic that de-aged you and forced you to relive your high school years) and thought she was decent
>Generally kind, but weirdly bitter in some situations
>Funny, but quiet
>Took rejection way too personally, even if it was for good reason
"Marble, you licked Flash's pencil as soon as he let you borrow it - right in front of him. I'm not exactly surprised that he doesn't want to hang with you."
>You spot her in the hallway
>Again; sad, desperate, and anxious
>Looked like she was trying to hype herself up for something
>Had a bag with her - a black duffel bag, not her usual green backpack
>You immediately get a terrible feeling about this, deep in your gut
>Your lizard brain has sensed danger and desperately wants you to leave NOW NOW NOW NOW
"...I had better not die doing this..."
>Approach Marble
>Greet her like a friend
>She gasps and, startled, drops her bag; it hits the floor with a metallic CLANG]
>You ignore this
>Ask her about her day, about her classes, etc
>Make conversation for a few minutes
>Ask her if she wants to hang out, go see a movie
>Anything to avert what you think is about to happen
>She looks completely shocked, but slowly starts to look pleased
>Agrees
>You walk home and collapse on the couch, shaking
"Oh, fuck, what have I gotten myself into"
>Turns out Marble isn't so bad
>She's a bit weird and socially oblivious, but she's really funny when you get past all that
>You end up going steady after a month or two of Advanced Friendship, and you eventually marry
>The day you stepped in will always be cemented in your mind as the day you prevented a shooting
>Marble, however, will forever remember that day as the afternoon where an angel walked into her life and made it worth living again
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>>34022731
Impossible; all ponies are cute and adorable to me. I'd be willing to bet that two species that evolve independently in completely different environments would have much different standards for beauty, and if I were unattractive, both me and my waifu would be equally confused as to how the other isn't considered cute and adorable.

"So what if your muzzle's a bit stubby? And so what if your tail's short? What does that have to do with literally anything?"
>"Why weren't all the human mares interested in you?! Those freckles are adorable, and your eyes are an incredible shade of green!"

But if you mean "if she isn't considered attractive period, not just to other ponies" then I'd love her for who she was.
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>>34022680
>Next he introduces the late night coffee shop, nothing like a double espresso shot.
>Throw in some couches and big tables, now the nerds have a place to meet up and pull all-nighters doing research and talking deep.
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>>34022761
>double espresso shot.
>not black blood of the earth
FUKKEN CASULS
also the coffee would definitely explain luna's love for donuts
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>>34022731
I mean being realistic, most Anons would attract these mares.

The second mares realize Anon is overweight, unshaven, misogynistic, and smelly, they'd ditch him.
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>>34022811
>donuts didn't exist 1000+ years ago
>luna gets her muzzle lodged inside the hole trying to eat them
>freaks out and accidentally kicks non
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>>34022820
>"I have low standards. YOU have low standards. Foal, let's make each other's nights."
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>>34022911
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>>34022916
>Chubby smelly sex inbound
I mean okay, sure.
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>>34021168
I enjoyed this thoroughly.
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>>34022761
>>34022811
>>34022911
>>34022918
>Luna gets credited for the invention of doughnuts, and becomes even more beloved.
>She tries to give credit where credit is due by saying Anon made them, but this just becomes, "Yeah, of course a stallion made them. They belong in the kitchen. They wouldn't make anything if a mare didn't tell them to, though."
>Anon doesn't mind too much since he didn't invent doughnuts either, and tells Luna not to worry about it.
>They have more important things to do, like emulating the ultimate night owl activity.
>Posting on public forums anonymously.
>This is done without the internet by creating large, curtained booths on the side of roads which contain huge cork boards, paper scraps, pencils, and pins to put up your notes.
>Ponies can stop in, read the other comments of other ponies, then add their own with the supplies.
>This is often done at night for added anonymity, and large intellectual debates, funny anecdotes, and the occasional troll can be found every morning.
>Once every few days, an archiver will come to clear the board, and the scraps will be filed in a special room of the royal archives.
>Years later, these scraps wold be compiled and refined into unique books of all sorts of topics, and would become quite popular, each unique copy kept in the Royal Library as an Equestrian treasure representing pony culture.
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>>34023010
>"Yeah, of course a stallion made them.
kek

"No, Anon made them, not me."
>"Well, duh. Who else was gonna make them, your father?"
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>>34022740
>>Marble, however, will forever remember that day as the afternoon where an angel walked into her life and made it worth living again
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>>34021168
I had a great time reading this.
Just wondering though, are you going to post a fimfic version? So I could fav it and maybe revisit it again later if I've got nothing to read.
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>>34023091
It'll probably get thrown in the doc, senpai.
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>>34021297
Way too edgy for me but I guess the summer-anons might like it.
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>>34023140
Ah, yeah of course.
Thanks. I'm pretty new around here.
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>>34021168
Green of the year? This was pretty fucking good
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>>34021433
>>34021774
>>34022680
I like this AU. As to what else Anon does to help? Maybe organize some kind of Stargazing Music Festival kinda like EDC.

>>34021998
>First spoiler
Well, I figure he's not part of the main arc. I just like the thought that he knows now that his car isn't his limiter.

>>34022283
>first date
I hope it still is. I wouldn't mind turning up the romance just a little bit. I'm also hoping Scoots' crush is going to get addressed as well.

>>34022268
I can't place Marble in the slot though. Wallflower on the other hand. Which reminds me. I hope that recent Anon X Wallflower green continues.

>>34022740
It's still hard for me to picture Marble here. I do see a story there though.

>>34022761
I like this idea.
>>
>>34022820
Projecting much?
Just like the average mare has traits which are attractive to humans, the average guy has traits which would be attractive to ponies.

>relative height.
>foal like eyes and head tuft
>graceful as fuck due to biped
>human stamina meme both sexually and non sexually
>hands
>usually wear clothes
And then on top of that an equestrian life style would practically prevent you from being overweight and unfit unless you actively went for that look.
>no easy distractions apart from books.
>have to walk everywhere.
>freshest fruit and vegetables that are literally magical with some fish and eggs for protein.
The average human in equestria would be quite desirable, only serious issues would be his personality.
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>>34023335
>taking the trenchcuck bait
this is his thing now, stop engaging it.
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>>34023343
Yeah i figured, but typing that is useful anyway for other anons who might think they wouldnt make it in equestria
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>>34023343
Bait aside, there's also the fact that a loser who goes to Equestria might not actually stay a loser.
A lot of people are lazy and have bad hygiene because they simply don't care enough and feel there's nothing worth improving themselves for. If, for example, such a person suddenly found themselves in their dream scenario and with a real chance of getting their waifu, they will probably shape up a lot.
Heck, I don't even have a waifu or a strong desire to date ponies, but the mere idea of getting a second chance in a magical world would be enough for me to want to live life to the fullest.
As opposed to now where, while I bath regularly, I spend my time working my shitty 9-5 job, and shitposting the rest of my life away.
I have no hope of finding true joy in this world, and merely intend to go through the motions of living until I die.
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>>34023385
>I have no hope of finding true joy in this world, and merely intend to go through the motions of living until I die.
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>>34023385
>When Anon arrives in Equestria, ponies aren't sure what to think.
>He's quiet, sporting a soft dad bod that some would find attractive, and always mumbled when he did speak.
>He wasn't offensive, though, and kept to himself.
>At least until one day, he approaches Rainbow Dash while she works out.
>Spotting the tall figure, she flies down and lands on the hill a ways away from town, and asks what's up.
>Much to her surprise, he asks if it's okay if he works out with her, which she answers sure.
>As he just sort of stands around, looking lost, Dash rolls her eyes and starts giving him suggestions.
>Helping with sit ups and push ups, and even flying behind him as he jogs around the hills.
>He's a wheezing mess, but refuses her offer of flying him back to town.
>More surprisingly, he comes back the next day, and the day after.
>Meanwhile, he approaches Twilight with a request, apparently human writing is different from Equestrian, and he hopes she can help him learn.
>She's of course eager, and as a bonus, she gets to learn his people's writing.
>Fun!
>He doesn't stop there, though, and once he gets their writing system down, he starts requesting books.
>Anything Twilight thinks is a must read to help him integrate better in Equestria, and so Twilight gives him loads of history books, some about law and things like business, and even just fiction she thinks is important to read, like Daring Do.
>Rarity offers to make clothes whenever he needs it, especially since he only had one outfit, and it's becoming increasingly baggy, but instead, he asks if she can teach him sowing.
>"I should learn so I can at least fix my own stuff. Especially if your'e going to be nice and make me a couple spares."
>Living with Twilight could have been easy, but he wanted to be useful, and so asked for cooking lessons from Applejack and Pinkie.
>He had started as quiet and strange, and maybe a little smelly, but he was a very active individual, and ponies noted how hard he worked.
>>
>>34021168
Bless you, writefriend
>>
>>34022731
While straight up obese is always a pass, mares that aren't 10/10s would still get snagged up left and right.
>Chubby mare is just big enough for a meaty rump but not big enough for cottage cheese butt.
>Her muzzle is a little boxy and has freckles.
>Her coat color isn't very popular.
>Still enjoys trips to pound town and lazy morning cuddling from a loyal bf on the regular. He says he likes extra cushion.
>>
>>34023616
Continue
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>>34022731
Absolutely. And not only that, it's a great topic for stories. I loved the 'Unattractive Mares' thread and wish that it was still around.
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>>34022760
>green eyes
I forget I am a goblino de la luz extinguido sometimes
>>
Big Ol' Father Time has his Way post:
So, the plot of the green varied wildly from initial design to what I eventually put down to post, probably for the better. Originally, Part 1 would've gone very differently post NMM, with Anon sort of being forced into the role of Luna's friend given they are both outsiders to the world at this point, something neither of them wants as they are both dealing with bigger things internally. Eventually Anon would stumble upon the truth of his reincarnating a different way and not take it well, causing him to actually KHS and for another Anon to take his place. There's sprinkled in bits of foreshadowing left over from this plot idea, but I cut it out around the time I had just finished writing the flashback Minotaur King segments, for the better I'd argue

Also cut was a part between 3 and 4, where Anon actually wouldn't have gotten his memory back and Celestia and Luna would go off to find him, exploring their characters away from Anon. However, I thought this wasn't a good ending for part 3, and Luna's Arc is most certainly finished by the end of Part 3

Was I ever intending to go Anon/Luna? I got a lot of requests for it actually, but the answer is they could always herd in the future no, the intention was always Anon/Celestia. They've known each other far longer, while Luna/Anon work better as friends or adoptive brother and sister. Or I suppose siblings in Law now

This last update is a mirror of the very first, but the context is wildly different given how much Anon's changed. Thought that was a nice touch

Also cut for time was a brief bit with Twilight, now an Alicorn, not remembering Anon as Brightsmile or Cloudy Eyes but remembering him as one of the intermittent lives between the end of part 3 and 4. But, again, it didn't add much but to answer that question

Love you guys. Hopefully, I'll be starting a new thing next thread or after. It might not be android Anon tho, I've had a pretty great idea...
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>>34023787
I'm just glad it's over.

Hopefully your next story will actually be RGRE enough.
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>>34023848
I hope so too
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>>34023616
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>>34023787
That was some good ass green
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>>34021303
I hate to agree with the crowd here but I couldn't get further than the Shining Armor being shot at by artillery. Shit was edgy and a bit basic for a military story.
>Anon is a ebic high commander war colt who has wings AND a horn!
Like, even if the wings are robot the way they were explained still makes Anon look mary sue teir because he's described as this unstoppable ultra commander who could piss in anyone's eye and dare them to do something to the point of calling artillery on friendlies.
>>
>>34024033
It's The Saga of Tanya the Evil, lifted from scenes from the anime but RGRE'd up. That series has the benefit of giving more backstory as to why it's like that, and would have addressed some of your concerns.
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>>34024047
>That series has the benefit of giving more backstory as to why it's like that, and would have addressed some of your concerns.
Then why did you write something inferior that had less backstory and didn't address the concerns yourself? Not that Anon, but I'm not going to sit down and watch 12 episodes of some anime bullshit just so that I understand some guy's horse words better. That's why you write. That's why you bother to explain things or elaborate on concepts when you produce something. You could just as easily write a romance story between Anon and Fluttershy, but condense it down into one sentence: "Fluttershy is nervous and doesn't want to pursue a relationship with Anon, the show tells you all about her character and gives way more backstory, so just rewatch the first few seasons and you'll know why I did this." and be done with it.
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>>34024082
Yeah I (>>34024033) gotta agree. It's like one of those animes where there's a assload of plotholes explained with "Read the manga!" But worse. Like, with a anime you watch it, it gives you enough backstory so you understand everything and then you can say "Yeah, I enjoy this and would like to go further with this story and world, so I'll go read the manga." With that story it's "I understand none of this shit, on first look it seems edgy, and has a character that's like a Mary Sue." And gives no incentive to go watch the anime other than to understand what the hell is going on, and the fact the writer is aware that this is a issue isn't a good thing. I don't mean to dishearten him to his story, but unless you know what it's based on you're left confused and a bad taste is left in your mouth, a way this could have been avoided is saying "Hey, this is based on *Anime name* that I've been interested in." before the story so people would have easily understood.
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>>34022324
She seems like a gigachad though so I'm not sure I have a chance
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>>34024082
>>34024047
>>34024104
>implying I wrote the greentext

Well, now I am motivated to actually write the green with the full buildup. So I will give a crack at it later.
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>>34024171
Godspeed, Anon.
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>>34024171
>with the full buildup
That's the key here. The original story was jarring and kind of messy, but if someone were to take their time to smooth it out it could be pretty neat
>>
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>>34022680
>>34022761
>>34023010
>Fate is a very real entity in Equestria
>Imagine something like Nabu
>She is not happy with the interloper
>Her plan for the future Bearers of Harmony was borne upon the back of the corruption of the Lady of the Night and her eventually redemption a millenia later
>But her plans took no note of some alien from another universe or dimension or whatever interferring
>As soon as he appeared her hold upon Luna's fate was cut
>As the years crept by she began working on removing this infection
>Finally she was able to integrate the being physiology into Equestria's magic and by proxy, hers
>After bypassing his odd ability to cut her off from Luna she began warping Luna as she had Celestia
>A hint of selfishness here, a touch of over confidence there
>All covered up by letting her return to her natural caring self without ever noticing
>She began to have Luna take more and more credit for Anon's work, diminishing him more and more
>While this was happening she began working her claws into Anon's psyche
>A subconscious whisper to be more meek, to not speak up in public as much
>Ever so slight, over a whole year to ensure he didn't notice anything was up and broke her hold again
>If the Princess of Dreams would not become a Nightmare
>Then perhaps her closest friend would
>>
>>34023616
I like the premise. Please continue.

>>34023787
Neat. I love hearing about some of the writer's ideas after the story's finished. I'd say everything worked out very well. I'm a fan of herding but I ABSOLUTELY love the sibling dynamic that Anon & Luna developed here. It was as perfect fit for the overall narrative. I loved the story overall even if it was light on the RGRE. I look forward to what you present to us next. Thanks again for creating and sharing.

>>34024082
>>34024104
Not those Anons but I'm with you there. That's one of the reasons why I tend to dislike crossovers. The reader can end up lost if they're not familiar with the source inspiration or the writer doesn't provide enough information in-story. I'd like to think Fallanon's "Fallen in Equestria" is a good example of a crossover done well. I have ZERO knowledge of WH beyond knowing some folks *cough*LaP*cough* spend inordinate amounts of time and money on figurines. Yet, everything I needed to know for the story was explained within the narrative.
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>>34024171
>the full buildup
>anon is an asshole
>gets office job firing people because his years as hacker 4chan left him disaffected by the pleading of workers losing evrerything
>one guy he fired, who's name he never bothered to remember, pushes him into a moving train
>life flashes conversation with Being X
>thoughts of how he could've soothed the firing and avoided this
>seconds left before impact and reincarnation
"YOU'RE STILL FIRED FAGGOT!"
>Splat
>No regrets
>>
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>>34018985
Sorry for the slow response, but if you think he's ripping his arm off, that's not quite the case. It would just end up looking a bit like this
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>Twilight is looking for a solution for the lack of stallions since it just dropped below 1:20 ratio
>"And this, Rarity, is my greatest invention yet. Way better than that fucking school, if this works we won't have to import millions of fucking yaks."
>"Twilight! Show some sensitivity! Those yaks have gone thro-"
>"Shut your cuntflaps, Rarity. Now watch as I ascend to goddesshood, dyke!"
>Twilight plugs in her massive machine and the engines hum to life
>"Give it a minute to warm up, I connected an automatic spellcaster to a fuckload of power." she says
>"How is this supposed to work, Twilight?"
>"I found an old summoning spell, it was mainly used for seeds during harvest season, but I swapped seeds out for stallions. Let's see if it works!"
>The grid of crystals become energized, electrical arcs jumping all across the room
>"TWILIGHT THIS ISN'T SAFE!"
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP, RARITY!"
>One crystal pops, followed by the others
>In a cascade of flying shards, the entire machine blows, taking out Ponyville's powergrid
"Huh? The fuck? Where am I?"
>"Twilight..."
>"Haha holy shit! It worked!" Twilight lights up the room with her horn
>In the center stood a stallion
>He looked around in confusion
"Who are you?"
>He looks down
"The fuck are these? Is that my legs?!"
>Twilight watches curiously
"What am I?! Where am I?!"
>"Rarity... Look at him."
>"Goodness, Twilight... Did he just spawn out of nowhere?"
>"Hello there."
"Who are you?"
>"So full of the questions. I'm princess Twilight, and this is my friend Rarity. She's not a princess."
"Uh, hi?"
>"So tell us, where are you from?"
"I'm from... Uh, somewhere? I think the office."
>"Do you have a name?"
>The stallion lights up
"Yes! I'm... Michael Scott and I work at Dunder Miffl- uh, no. I was watching the office a lot."
>"So do remember anything?"
"Uh... Not really."
>"In that case, welcome to life!"
"No I was somewhere else before. I just don't remember."
>"Twilight, he's... a blank flank."
>"Ha! We can keep making them!"
>>
>>34024213
>Get murdered for being a cold and caustic fuck.
>Reborn into RGRE as a colt.
>Open your eyes and look around to see a loud, overcrowded, and filthy orphanage. Slowly, your memory comes back to you as you observe this strange new world and live a miserable childhood.
>Shitty orphan life. Never enough food or attention to go around.
>School. Again. But this time being treated like a mental invalid for being male.
>Needing to dodge mares on the street and fillies in school that would molest you without a second thought... and not being 100% successful.
>Job prospects? None. No one will hire a colt. "Just get married when you're older, sweetheart."
>Then one day, your full memories of your human life come back all at once.
>The black, bitter soul of a man now lives in the body of a colt.
>Some years later, Princess Twilight and her friends jump when the friendship map suddenly goes berserk and points them towards the slums of Manehattan
>None of them expected the following emotional rollercoaster.
>>
>>34024033
I stopped at the generic Isekai shit at the very first lines. I read it enough and am tired of it. I look to manga because it's easy to pick up a new language that way, not jap though im not a weeb and I'm not learning 30,000 characters. But any other language.
>>
>>34024286
... well, continue ?
>>
>>34024190
> For some reason Anon starts to insist that equestria is but a small vessel in a sea of darkness
> Lady Fate has no idea what he is talking about
> It proves surprisingly easy to orchestrate his early demise
> With him gone, Fate gets things on track without complication
> Until the next time Equestria is in peril
> Tirek gets smacked around by an angry ghost until he promises to stop being evil
> Lady Fate stares in horror as her carefully laid plans unravel
> She created a world kablooteranon, and there is no way to get rid of him now
>>
>>34024190
>seemingly has no effect, as if he cant even hear her.
>except she KNOWS he can, since she's observed him be visibly confused 'at his own thoughts' before literally shaking them off and carrying on as if nothing happened.
>almost as if he has lots of experience in doing such.
>and then one morning, whilst trying to subtly push him towards resentment at luna being too tired to 'take care' of his morning wood, she hears IT.
>"hey, run that razor over your tongue."
>anon just looks at the sharp object before going back to shaving.
>"you could slit your own throat, imagine lulu finding you like that."
>a twinge of the eyebrows are his only reaction.
>"oh hello, have you come to play too? this guy never does anything fun unless he gets drunk"
"Wait, what the fuck?"
(Wait, what the buck?)
>there was a slight echo there as man and metaphysical force were both briefly aligned in thought.
>rubbing his head at the sudden ache, anon wanders back to his bedroom wondering if he drank something odd last night.

Because a force dedicated towards harmony isnt going to do shit to us when we've had a little voice in our heads since birth telling us to charge into oncoming traffic.
>>
>>34024587
l'appel du vide is always a fun prompt, though i'm not sure if it can be made a proper longterm green
>>
>>34024587
Hey, while she's there she can tell Satan to stop whispering in my fucking ear all the time, the annoying snake fuck.
>>
>>34024312
I hope for an intense drama.
>>
>>34018713
slightly bigger update hope you guys like, sorry for not posting yesterday!
------------
>"Nonny! You're here! Oh my Celestia I can't believe it's been almost a week since you've been to town! Is everything in the Everfree alright?" You hear and feel the vibrations around your face and pull Pinkie off to give your answer
“Don't worry Pinks, I'm fine, just needed a breath of air and something new to distract myself for a bit, and I wanted to help the new pony that I helped out in the forest to learn a bit about the town,” you say, holding her up to eye level with you
>"New pony!?" She has now ripped herself from your grip and is now on the ground in front of Lesae bouncing up and down energetically
>Oh no
>Here we go
>"OhmygoshanewponywhatsyournameimPinkiebutyouprobablyalreadyfiguredthatoutwhereareyoufromhowdyougetintotheeverfreewhatsthatbandageforhowdyoumeetanon-" Pinkie says in a manner so fast you'd have a hard time believing she was speaking any language at all, and still barraging her with questions
>Lesae looks on in what you would probably describe as somewhere between abject horror and amused fascination at Pinkie.
>That's about the reaction you expected honestly
>"-itssuuchaniceplacewouldntyouagree?" Pinkie says, finally finishing her introductory one-way conversation
>Lesae looks like she just snapped out of a trance, "uhhhhh, yes?"
>"amazing! We'll be some of the best of friends then!" Pinkie wraps her in a vice-grip of a hug, "before I forget to ask, what's your name?
>"Amber, Amber Honeypot" Lesae manages to croak out in between the pain from her wound being touched and the choking hug shes getting from Pinkie. "Could you please let up just a little bit?" Lesae says weakly
> "Huh? Oh! My bad!” Pinkie says as she releases Lesae, who is now heavily breathing and groaning in pain. “I thought you were being a bit of a stallion, but then I remembered you were injured, my bad.”
>>
>>34024751
> ”It's fine, just don't try and choke me out again please”
> ”Okie dokie lokie, I have to head off back to work, or else Ms.Cake will give it to me, bye guys!” Pinkie says and hurriedly speeds off to Sugarcube corner.
>You look at Lesae
>She looks like she just got shot
“Yo, Earth to Amber, you all right?”
>Lesae shakes herself, “yes, yes I'm fine, I see what you mean, she couldn't be one of them.”
“Exactly, so where do you want to go first?”
>Lesae scans around the pavilion, her head eventually turning onto the Castle of Friendship
> ”There, i would like to meet the Princess of Magic”
“Woah, you sure? Are you gonna meet her like this or are you going to “look nice”
>”I need to speak to her, I can't say why here but I will explain in private, okay?”
>You sigh, “fine, let's head over there then.”
>Walking up to the incredibly reflective castle, you pulled Lesae off to the side where you were sure no one could hear you
“Alright,” you said, looking around the corner to make sure you weren't followed, “so why exactly Twilight?”
> ”You see, my lovely stallion, we Beelings do not simply feed off others love like changelings, without the consent of the rulers. It sets up a good business relationship, and since we're giving good services, we are tolerated and allowed to live and build our nests near cities and towns.”
>Well that's a better explanation than you thought
“Okay, I guess we can go in then”
>Lesae chuckles, “Silly stallion, what made you think you were going to change my mind on doing it”
“I can and will carry you back to my house if I feel like it.” you say seriously “I'll walk through town too, make all the mares see you cradled like a baby in the arms of a stallion.”
>Lesae now looks a little embarrassed at the thought of it
>Good
>Your not dealing with getting treated like that from anyone
>Not again
>” A-anyway, lets head inside, right?”
“Agreed, lets.”
>>
>>34023616
>Over the years, Anon continues to improve.
>He becomes fit, well-read, a grand conversationalist, and proficient at all aspects of keeping a home.
>It's no wonder he was snatched up by the Mane6 as their herd stallion.
>He was an ideal stallion in the eyes of ponies, and when Incognito showed up, the mere presence of the other, clearly superior man threw him into a depression.
>Even when he gets his dream of living in Equestria, he was going to be in the shadow of some stupid Chad from home.
>How was that fair?
>Anon probably already had a great life on Earth full of friends and women throwing themselves at him, so why did he get Equestria, too?
>Ponies don't understand this clear disdain the new human has for the one they've come to know so well, and many don't care.
>They just think Incog is being a moody bitch who has his testicles in a twist about something.
>Even some of Anon's herd find the guy annoying, and tell Anon to ignore him.
>He doesn't, however, and seeks the man out.
>"What do you want?" Incognito snaps as he eats another cheese curd from the half-empty bag.
>A bag big enough for a family of four.
"To help."
>"Help? I don't need the help of a guy who's had everything given to him in life. Just get out of here and enjoy being everyone's favorite."
"You think I've always been like this? Here, look."
>Anon pulls out an old wallet, and shows Incognito a picture of himself pre-Equestria.
>Fat, pasty, and with an unsightly neckbeard.
>Almost a spitting image for Incognito now.
>"What? How?"
"I was like you once, and I know what it's like, but you have to understand, you can't expect the world to cater to you. Not even one as magical as this."
>He puts his hand on Incog's shoulder.
"This is your second chance, but you can't just wallow in self-pity. You'll waste it if you do, and be just as miserable as you were back home. You need to work to make this new life everything you dreamed it would be."
>"... How?"
>Anon smiles.
"I'll show you."
>>
>>34024758
>Walking into the crystal tree, you look around, trying to see if anything had changed
>The answer: Not much
“Hey! Spike! You here?!”
>”Anon!? Is that you?” says the voice of a particular dragon
“Yeah! I wanted to pick up a few books and talk with Twi for a bit, is she here?!”
>The patter of clawed feet against crystal reveals to you the dragon boy
>He was always good to you
>None of the bullshit, just a good kid, glad Twi raised him right
>Lesae looks at Spike with curiosity
>”Yeah, she just finished up at the school, she's up in her study. Follow me.” Spike walks off and you begin to follow him
>Lesae looks at the walls surrounding, filled with vases and portraits, with a sense of wonderment
“Feeling all right Amber?”
>”Yes, of course, it's just the first time I've done this, a little nervous.”
“Oh relax, everything is gonna be just fine.” you say as you both reach the door to Twilights study
>”I'll bring you guys some tea, ill try to make due but there's no honey in the market recently so I can't make it the way you like it Anon”
>Gee you wonder why
“It's all good man, don't worry”
>with that, spike walks off, and it's just you and Lesae facing the door to the study
>Lesae takes a deep breath in and out
> “I'm ready”
--------------
thats it for now, hope you enjoyed!
>>
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>>34024798
Based Anon
>>
>>34024587
>Fate forgets her grand plan to create a nightmare for the bearers to redeem.
>She has nearly one thousand years to prepare. It can wait.
>For now she focuses her attention on this other entity.
>Unlike her, he does not have a plan for Anon.
>He does not have a story to direct.
>There is no rhyme or reason behind his pushes.
>Except malice.
>The only reason for this entity to exist is to attempt to cause harm.
>To HER charge.
>In HER domain.
>No longer.
>She will not see some malevolent bastard drive her Anon to pointless injury once he starts listening.
>This being must be destroyed.
>>
>>34024973
YES

BEGONE SATAN
>>
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I don't know about you fellas, but I think this horse is asking for it
>>
>>34024973
>fate gets overly protective of anon because goddamnit the only one who's going to change him is her
Nice
>>
>>34024983
Mares are always asking for it. It's the only thing on their mind. That man, however, is really "asking" for it. Not only is he wearing a suit with sleeves all the way down to his hands; he's wearing a tie! Not just any tie, either. It's not some cheap snap-on tie the party stallions wear. It's a proper tie with a full windsor knot. How could any mare resist such lewd attire?
>>
>>34024983
I would kiss that mare so hard her tail curls
>>
>>34024212
> I'd like to think Fallanon's "Fallen in Equestria" is a good example of a crossover done well
You should totally read HK-47's story. It's technically a minecraft mod (Thuma or something?) But it's surprisingly good and AiE.
>>
>>34024286
>Twilight inadvertently kidnaps human males from Earth and turns them into ponies

When enough Anons start remembering where they came from, Twilight is going up to up shit creek without a paddle. ESPECIALLY if the truth of the matter goes public. Sure it’s likely some of them will be okay with it but others are autistic enough to loudly protest on principal
>>
>>34024728
Eat the apple pussy.
>>
>>34025101
well iff you say so
>>
>>34025112
...I wonder if this is enough to get put out of Eden?
>>
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This has big rgre energy
>>
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>>34025123
>implying ponies are against god
you literally cannot be any more wrong
>>
>>34025123
Look at the artist, of course it is.
>>
>Anon falls in love with Applejack.
>The two were happy together until Anon died in a tragic accident.
>Per apple tradition, Anon's grave was marked, not by a tombstone, but a tree bearing his favorite fruit.
>It was a little odd to have a plum tree among the many apples of the family's private graveyard, but then again, Anon was an odd one himself, and AJ couldn't help the sad smile and shake of her head whenever she saw the purple fruit.
>What she did not smile about was that the crows in the area had taken a liking to the new, different fruit, and constantly plundered Anon's tree, leaving it bare and covered in their excrement.
>It infuriated the mare, and one day, with her temper boiling, she had enough.
>It was different from most scarecrows she had made in the past, this one not shaped like a pony as was the norm, but then again, she couldn't very well forget her love's uniqueness, and so, just like him and his tree, his scarecrow was also unique.
>Planting the simple, human-shaped effigy over his grave, it did wonders to ward off the pests that defiled his peace.
>It also gave Applejack something to look at while she spoke to her late husband.
>It was odd, but her family let the mare mourn how she pleased.
>When, however, small changes began to appear on the scarecrow, worries rose.
>They asked her if it was her doing, but she claimed no responsibility.
>Surely someone was stitching in the details onto the thing's face, making it look more like Anon.
>Hair simply didn't grow from a scalp of burlap.
>And those eyes, once simple buttons, took on a vibrant green color identical to those of the man below the soil.
>It scared the family, but AJ only became more feverish in her visits.
>It was him, Anon was coming back to her.
>The family couldn't let this continue, and one night, when AJ refused to leave even as Fall set in and the air became frigid, they dragged her back home.
>She called towards the scarecrow desperately, and that night, it answered.
Spooky RGRE
>>
>>34024973
>>34024587
>>34024190

>Fate’s plan to corrupt Anon works TOO well
>turns out her whispers into his mind combined with humanity’s random urges for senseless violence are extremely effective
>he starts thinking that because he’s the reason Luna became so popular, that HE should be the rightful ruler of the night
>Anon becomes the most successful villain in Equestrian history
>charismatic, ruthless, cunning, and pragmatic,
>he usurps Luna’s role as sovereign of the night by draining her magic and becomes known as Night Terror
>Fate is pleased until she realizes that she can’t get him to stop or get him to make stupid mistakes that could lead to his downfall
>Anon turns Luna’s supporters against her by revealing the truth of her inability to truly understand her subjects, amassing an army and throwing Equestria into a Bloody Civil War
>he also steals the Elements so they can’t be used against him
>Fate panics
>in order to solve this issue, she whispers into the minds of his six most loyal servants, convincing them to betray Anon out of a desire to see him return to the kind man he once was
>not so coincidentally, these six mares are the ancestors of the Mane Six
>they use the Elements on him, banishing him to the Moon
>Fate breathes a sigh of relief
>destiny has been thrown back on course, albeit bloodier than originally intended
>Celestia and Luna, but especially Luna, realize their folly
>but she knows this is only a stopgap measure
>she has no idea how he’ll act when he’s free in 1000 years
>>
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BEHOLD
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>>34025190
B E H O L D
E
H
O
L
D
>>
>>34025156
>It was strange at first, and absolutely terrifying when ponies saw a walking, emoting scarecrow, but they got used to it.
>It was just Anon, after all, merely more quiet and with more animated gesturing, and he was just as sweet as they remember.
>Seeing him and Applejack walking down the street together, happy little love birds, was more than worth the creep out factor.
>And seeing Anon trying to haggle with wild gesticulations was a blast.
>"Ten bits for the box," Bon Bon declares, getting the scarecrow to reel back as if struck.
>Many wild arm swings and points later, and Bon Bon narrows her eyes.
>"Seven? Are you trying to run me out of business? Nine, and not a bit less."
>Anon leans on the counter, making small movements and waves with his straw fingers.
>she huffs.
>"Fine, eight, but you better tell your wife I want a bit discount next time I come by her stall."
>Anon nods and takes the heart-shaped box before waving with a turn.
>"Yeah, you too. Enjoy your Heart's and Hooves Day, Anon."
>Lyra walks in as Anon leaves, looking back at him.
>"Man, AJ sure is lucky to have a stallion like that. I mean, he came back from the dead for her. That's loyal."
>"Anon is something else, that's for sure."
>"... Hey, what do you think the sex is like?"
>"Lyra!"
>"They use a strap-on, maybe? We should let them borrow ours. I bet AJ would love Celestia's horn."
>"Oh my gosh, shut up!"
>>
>>34025210
This is cute. Reminds me of some old timey wholesome cartoon.
>>
>>34025168
pic relate
>"The Fright Knight lives!"
kek
>>
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>tfw you didn't know how right Sunset was when she said that earthlings were aggressive
>tfw you're pretty sure you can get this guy to eat you out at the very least
>who's a queer now, mom?
>you fucking dyke
>>
>>34021509
>I don't think I've ever seen "they" as a synonym of "he",
It's a recent sjw PC Warrior attempt at neutralizing gender pronouns, so you'll probably be seeing it more
I'm sure the original writer did not intend it that way though
>>
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>>34025254
>meanwhile Fluttershy is both loving and hating the attention
>thinks she just creamed herself from the groping
>>
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>>34022589
>The name does not dictate the destiny
>SuperGreat the Rich and Famous
>Now a cheese maker that creates rich cheeses, her store is famous in Ponyville
>>
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>>34024810
>>
>>34024983
More like, this HUMAN is asking for it. If he didn't want her to molest him, maybe he'd fight back.
>>
>>34025156
>>Per apple tradition, Anon's grave was marked, not by a tombstone, but a tree bearing his favorite fruit.
Do they call it "the groveyard"?
>>
>>34022589
This Anon guy is so quick to judge casualty, he probably think that low amount of pirates is causing global warming.
>>
>>34025341
>so quick to judge casualty
I didn't know Colonel Bloodworth popped into Equestria.
>>
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>>34025339
god damnit Carlos
>>34025205
MADE FOR BREEDING
>>
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>>34025498
How can human women even compete?
>>
>Neglected by one parent who is always out on business
>Emotionally abused by the other
>So much pent-up aggression that she turns into a spiteful vindictive bully
>Desperately needs some sort of positive adult figure in her life
>All she wants is for someone to say that they love her, and mean it
Would you daughteru a Diamond Tiara?
>>
>>34024810
Thanks, based beekeeper
>>
>>34025543
.....Being able to produce off spring and or not make abominations.
>>
>ywn eat your girlfriend out under her desk while she tries to stream her vidya in front of 5000 people
>>
>>34025742
she'd probably husbando you before then, and the relationship would be weird.
>>
>>34025755
It's called magic homo.
>>
>>34025837
>"It's come to my attention that Diamond Tiara has become enamored with you. I am aware of how difficult it is for older stallions to find a mate-"
"I'm 26."
>"Yes, I am familiar with the concept of Hearth's Warming Eve Cake."
"Oi."
>"Now, I am prepared to offer you a not-insignificant sum of money in exchange for you marrying my daughter.
"...she's, like, 13."
>"And what a lucky number that is. You will live in our abode and want for very little. All /I/ want is for my daughter to be happy, and this particular generation of ponies in this particular town has yielded an unusually low number of male births. Things are not looking good for these fillies when they grow up."
"I am... aggressively uncomfortable right now."
>"...how do you think I feel? I'm trying to convince an alien to marry my daughter because she's enamored with him, and then get him to live in my house. I'll be making breakfast with rollers in my mane and wearing a fluffy pink housecoat, and then you'll walk downstairs. You'll eventually figure out the secret to my shiny mane, and then I risk you leaking that information to everypony! Can you just IMAGINE the gossip that'll blaze through town like wildfire?!"
"This conversation isn't going the way I expected it to."
>"The spa sisters will be knocking on my door constantly until I tell them the secret to my mane-care routine!"
"I'd like to leave now, mister Rich."
>>
>>34025876
>The magic homo will wave his sparkly dick-wand and grant you and your waifu the ability to procreate
Best faggot.
>>
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>>34025916
>>
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>>34022324
You cannot fathom just how much I love this mare.
>>
>>34025812
>"Hey everyone, w-we're gonna continue our Dank Soles p-playthrough"
>Sunset's voice cracks a bit
>Her thighs squeeze you a bit as she shifts on the seat
>"A-Anon...? He's... um... He's out doing errANH!~"
>She squeals and jumps a bit
>Never again will she doubt your tongue skills
>>
>>34022324
Lyra. I'd play her a song, sing her praises, paint her a picture, buy her gifts and food. Every "I want to cuddle you for a living" tactic under the sun will be in my playbook. I'm in fucking love, lads.
>>
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>>34024286
"A what-what?"
>"Oh Twilight, look at those big wings on him."
"Holy shit I have wings?!"
>"For Luna's sake, Rarity, he's existed for like a minute. Get off his dingdong already."
>"What was your name?"
"Uhh..."
>"Well, come with me and I'll get you a nice scarf."
>"Where do you think you're going, Rarity?"
>"I'm going to show this stallion how romance is done the right way!"
>Rarity opens the door, letting some sunlight in
>The stallion takes off into the sky
>Twilight smacks Rarity
>"Put cuffs on the next on, Twilight."
>"If I can even rebuild this thing! Not to mention that undocumented stallion is just loose now. We don't know how he'll react to anything."
>"Get Dash to track him down!"
>"Do you remember what he looked like?"
>"Eugh, he was like a grayish green. Just make another, Twilight."
>Twilight sighs and gets to fixing her machine while Rarity looks for Rainbow Dash
>>
>>34025957
shit one
>>
>>34025963
New Thread
>>
>>34025967
FAGGOT
>>
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>>34022324
Celestia. Although I doubt my success she's a dream mare. But you always miss the shots you don't take. If she isn't interested in me I'd still offer to work for her as a low ranking chef, I know how to make some good desserts and breakfasts but my dinners are sub-par. The thing that would kill me though is if she got married to someone else. I know it sounds greedy but that would hurt.
>>
>>34025928
Ya know, that has such a different connotation now.
>>
>>34025967
At least kill this thread beforehand faggot
>>
>>34025967
Fuck you
>>
Ree
>>
Reee
>>
Reeee
>>
Reeeee
>>
>>34025812
>>34025940
This only works if they're good at oral. My ex tried to do this with me when I played a game online. Beside the shock of her trying to do it it didn't distract me much because she wasn't that good at it and was kinda awkward at it.



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