Previous Thread: >>33923673GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYsOld CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:https://pastebin.com/z3CWqhnGPrompt Archives:https://pastebin.com/GAa4Wunt
>>33935711First for best princess
First or best girl.
Third for cute mares with lighter colored underbellies.
>>33935711Colts belong in the kitchen, because their natural nurturing outlook means that they thrive knowing that they are taking care of their young. If you walk along the streets of any city in Equestria, you'll see stallions taking care of their foals. Even older brothers will act like father cocks and dote over their little siblings, like Thunderlane here. This is an especially opportune moment for him and his little brother - not only can Thunderlane satisfy his natural male urges to nurture young, but he also can use this as an opportunity to teach his little brother how to cook, which will be invaluable when he's someday old enough to herd up.And if ANON would only go to those cooking classes and Home Ec courses that Princess Twilight Sparkle is GENEROUSLY PAYING FOR out of her OWN POCKET (she'll have to wait a whole month to buy those miniatures and painting supplies she wanted), then maybe he wouldn't be spending his Friday nights getting drunk all alone. Fucking colts, never showing appreciation when well-raised gentlemares do something nice for them.
>>33935736All she wants is a little love. All she wants is someone who doesn't expect her to be tough all the time and to accept that she has feelings too. She also wants a guy who's down to fuck just about whenever, too, and isn't a fucking prude about getting his butt groped a little bit when she wants to show her friends that she's not a dyke, like they keep saying she is.
>>33935717This thread is off to a good start
>>33935536ok, here is the rest>"So uhhh any ideas on who your gonna ask to go with you Anon? Rainbow asks nervously"Cant say im to sure on who to ask, I guess I could ask Rarity, this seems like her kind of thing anyways.">"RARITY!? Come on Anon! She would be whining the whole time you guys are their! Dash huffs "OH, THAT WATERS TO COLD, YOUR NOT USING ENOUGH LOTION, THIS TOWEL IS TO HOT" Dash says in her best imitation of the prissy white ponyYou chuckle at Dash's spot on Rarity imitation "I guess your right, what about Twilight?">"Yeah maybe if you want an actual history lesson about the origins of every tiny little thing they do their instead of actually enjoying the spa!""How about Fluttershy?">Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes "Good luck getting her to go, she already goes once a week with Rarity, and if you try to get her to go more than that she complains about how its "To much stimulation." or some sort of bs like that!">Odd that she would know that"AppleJack maybe?">"Anon, by the time you get her off the farm and into the spa, the whole place will be getting ready to close.">Your starting to see a pattern here"Pinkie Pie!" you shout excitedly>Dash just glares at you with a look of disapproval that says more than enough about your suggestion"Heh alright, point taken. Man, I guess I dont really know anypony that would be a good choice to take to the spa with me. I guess I will just have to go by myself." You let out a fake sigh and with this Rainbows ears fall flat and she adopts a saddened expression "I mean I would ask you to go with me, but your probably to marely to g-" before you could even finish your sentence Rainbow flys up to you and quickly snatches one of the vouchers from your hand>"YES!!!" Rainbow blurts out ecstatically, but then back peddeles to a more cool and collected tone, "I mean I guess I wouldnt mind going to the spa if its with you Anon.""Sweet Dash, Im looking forward to it. I guess I will see you their tomorrow!
>>33935765>"Its a date!" she says eagerly, yet she suddenly recoils realizing what she had just said "N-not like in th-that way! Not in like a date where you and me spend the day together e-even though it is kind of like that...W-Wait! Not what I meant! Its like a date in like a time and place with you and me a-and....uuuhhhh" >Dash continues to fumble over her words and feelings for a good while until you turn away and begin walking home"All right Dash! I will see you tomorrow, dont be late!" you holler back at her>She snaps out of her stupor and quickly replies "Y-yeah! See you there Anon!" She quickly takes off into the air towards her cloud houseand you swear you can hear a loud squeeing like sound accompanying the sound of her take off."Huh, never took Rainbow for a spa pony.">Insert a green about Rainbow Dash and Anon going to the spa>Rainbow keeps getting flustered in front of Anon when ponys at the spa keep on mentioning that shes a regular
>Instead of dumping all responsibilities on Twilight as soul ruler of Equestria, the Celestial Sisters instead ask if she can watch over the kingdom for a week every once in a while so they can relax.>On these vacations, Celestia gets to live the way she's always dreamed of.>Starting her own banana selling stand.>When you can easily travel between tropical regions and Equestria through teleportation, it makes importing the delicious fruit easy and she can sell it cheap to her little ponies.>Said ponies are confused to see their oldest princess behind a shoddily constructed stand, but they aren't complaining as they get their potassium rich fruit for less than any other vendor.>And when Celestia is done, she breathes a happy sigh and packs up her goods before heading home to the small cabin she's renting for the week.>Setting her things on the porch, she enters and calls, "I'm home!""In the kitchen, sunshine! Dinner's just about done.">Celestia practically skips to the kitchen, wings fluttering with every step until she arrives at the entrance.>She stops to stare at Anon as he hums, hips swaying back and forth as he stirs something in a pan.>Celestia goes quiet, a mischievous smirk on her lips as she sneaks forward.>When she's just behind the man, she leans forward and licks along the outer ridge of his ear.>Yelping, Anon nearly drops the the wooden spoon he's holding before turning his head to frown at the mare."You mind? I don't want to get burned.">"I'm sorry, dear, you know I can't resist," she says, not sounding particularly sorry as she rests her head on his shoulder and stares down at the stove top. "So, what are you making?""Jambalaya," he answers, going back to his work. "Being a fishing town, the shrimp is pretty fresh.">Celestia licks her lips.>A little know fact about pegasi is that they rather enjoy seafood, the oils good for their feathers, and Celestia is one-third pegasus.>"Sounds delicious,"
>>33935768I just want to rub my face into Rainbow's tuft and smother myself in her tuft-musk.
>"Horseapples, Anon! There's no way you're some kind of gamer colt! Ugh, your hoo-man games are stupid!"
>>33935768RD is top cute here. Thanks NaWa.>>33935736>>33935740>>33935748>>33935759Nice pics.>>33935743kek>>33935792Top comfy. Would like more. Also, I too subscribe to the headcanon that Pegasi eat seafood.>>33935797Me too Anon; me too.
>>33935815>We must throw him in ye olde rape dungeon to correct his behavior, post haste!
>>33935835>"And by 'rape dungeon' I mean 'my private quarters'."
>>33935792>married life with celly Unf
>>33935839Luna's going to show him a presentation on how to be a proper househusband just like in Daring Douche
>>33935765>thing they do their instead of actually enjoying the spa!"there*>I guess I will see you their tomorrow!there* again, their is when your talking about a person or group of people, there is for locations.>>33935768>She snaps out of her stupor and quickly replies "Y-yeah! See you there Anon!" She quickly takes off into the air towards her cloud house and you swear you can hear a loud squeeing like sound accompanying the sound of her take off.You split the sentence by accident.
>>33935743So, is he the team slut or what?
>>33935711Can't you fucks stick to one subject name?
>>33935978Are you just going to keep posting this every thread or...
Just throwing a question out here.Would you prefer reading a greentext in a screencap in the tomorrow theme, or on pastebin?I screencap greentext stories if I like them and I'm wondering if I should post them the thread after or something for people who just missed it to read.pic related, one of the greentexts I've saved.
>>33935815>Unshorn fetlocks are l-lewd
Just a question, did that Anon writing about the smol birb green ever finish it?I've been away for a few months and lost track of it.It was the one where Spitfire left her foal to Anon and he was raising it.
>>33935841>:Pic>Farmer Anon had Celestia and used her to help farm before the war that wiped out humanity>Celestia herself misses those simple days where she'd help out her human with manual labor>When Anon lands in Equestria again (for whatever reason you wanna come up with) he goes back to farming and Celestia moves in and helps out>Ponies are torn between seeing their princess do manual labor and seeing their princess help a poor weak hyooman colt
>Sergeant Reckless in RGREquestria
>>33935792>Anon and Celestia are in bed, the man's arm around her as they both snooze with peaceful smiles on their faces.>Last night had been wonderful.>Anon had cooked dinner to perfection, and after, Celestia sat the man down and insisted she make dessert.>Banana foster with a small glass of the rum the fruit was cooked was simple, but delicious, and with full, warm bellies, the two snuggled together on the couch and listened to the rain that had been scheduled for the night.>The peace didn't last for long before playful pecks became kisses, which quickly turned into a passionate make out session.>Migrating to the bedroom, and after a long night of lovemaking, the two fell asleep, satisfied in every definition of the word.>Celestia wished she could stay like this forever, but a rummaging from downstairs dashes that dream as her husband grumbles awake."What was that?" he asks groggily, sitting up.>"I don't know," Celestia answers, ears raised and alert.>The sound continues, and her sensitive hearing picks up a muffled voice.>"Somepony is in the cabin," she says, her pulse quickening.>She of course can handle any would-be crook, but her husband is a different story.>The man, bless his heart, likes to think he's a big, tough, stallion, but with no magic to speak of, even an earth pony a third his size can overpower him with their mana-enhanced strength.>What if they're bandits come to steal her husband?>Or worse, assassins looking to kill him to devastate her.>Levitating the wooden bat Anon insists they keep by the bedside, she rolls off the mattress.>"Stay here, Anon, I'll handle this.""What?" he responds, stepping out of bed and grabbing his boxers. "No, I'll go with you, Give me the bat.">"Anon, please," she pleads, turning back. "We don't know who it is or how many, and I don't dare risk you getting hurt.""But I can help.">"I'll be fine, love," she assures.
>>33935740>Teenage anon hooks up with teenage octavia.>Mutual friends with teenage vinyl.>The two mares share music classes, whilst the non-musically talanted human is studying to be an etherical engineer.>Being mostly immune to the energy that turns on your lightbulbs is useful for more than just silly adventure stories after all.>Octavia found her specific calling in the cello, but vinyl constantly bounces between instruments.>She can make music with them sure, got a cutie mark and everything, but none of them 'feel' right.>She gets started on her right path when, a litle frustrated after trying out every horn in the building and annoying the snot out of octavia, looks for anon to try and chill out>Finds him in shop class trying to fix a speaker for a project.>Asks her for a little juice to see if he fixed it properly.>Being an impulsive mare, she had a creative interpretation of anons request, need to make sure it works right, right?>Flipping her magic into the speaker she just does what comes naturally and>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HilMAEYv774>She turns to anon with a grin and say it seems pretty fixed to her.>The human wonders aloud why she keeps trying so many different intstruments when she can do something like that so easily.>Rolling her eyes at her friends (Thankfully infrequent) bout of coltish whimsy, explains that a speaker isnt exactly an instrument, it cant make any sounds on it's own it just plays what you put into it.>Anon simply replies that he heard the sounds she put into it just fine and thought they were pretty great.>Vinyl opens her mouth to retort and promptly closes it again when she realises what he just said.>Anon eagerly pushes the speaker towards her again and asks for another 'song'.>Thinking quick with a light blush on her face, she recalls a tune some other mare in magic class was humming and tries to recreate it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfhUJbDQ1JA
>>33936043>"Did you forget that I'm an alicorn? I doubt any normal pony can beat me in a fight, but if I'm splitting my focus between them and watching out for you, they might make use of my distraction.">Before he can argue further, another sound rolls up from bellow, and Celestia moves towards the door.>Using her magic to silence the hinges as she opens it, she creeps down the hall and stairs, following the sound to the living room.>Bat raised in her aura, she takes a breath to steady her nerves, and leaps around the corner.>"Put your hooves where I can see them, scumbag!" she commands, wings flared out and teeth showing.>Luna blinks at her owlishly from the couch she's laying back on.>A bowl rests on her belly and a spoon hangs from her mouth as she levitates a portable gaming system in front of her.>Slowly, she raises her hooves over her head.>"Tia, I hope you don't mind I helped myself to the contents of your refrigerator, but I was starving after the flight here.""Hey... Is that the rest of the jambalaya?" Anon asks from behind Celestia, the lamp in his hands lowering to his side. "I was going to have that for breakfast!">"Oh... Oops?" Luna offers sheepishly.>Bringing the bat down, Celestia pouts in confusion.>"Luna? I thought you were at the P3 gaming thing.">"I was, but now it's over and I need a place to stay.""And that had to be our cabin and, I don't know, the castle?" Anon asks dryly.>She shrugs.>"I still have two days of vacation left. Why go back early when I can instead hangout with my sister and brother-in-law?">Anon frowns, but eventually sighs and heads towards the kitchen."I'm making breakfast," he calls. "Oats, I guess, because a certain alicorn had to go and raid our fridge.">Celestia rubs her forehead.>"You know he's not going to let this go for months. That man takes his food very seriously.">"Do you think he'll forgive me if I let him play the newest Mareio Kart? I talk Miyamareto into letting me have an early copy."
>>33936076>horse video game puns>p3Jesus why’d you have to remind me how E3 is going. There’s gonna be a ps5 an Xbox scarlet. My wallet can’t handle it. John wick in a vidya gaem though, that’s something. Breathtaking
>>33936082Just buy a computer instead.
>>33936083I only use my computer for porn, I’m what you folks call “retarded”
>>33936000Holy fuck, I actually forgot about it, but your power of trips reminded me.I don't know Anon, if I can find it, I will continue it today, in a few hours.
>>33936039Sergeant Reckless gives -0 fucks and will immediately fuck off back to earth once she finds out how expensive beer is.
>>33936138>>33936117>>33936039That is one marely mare
>>33936145>That is one marely mareShe was a very good mare.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergeant_Reckless
>>33936151>Sergeant Reckless in the royal guard
>>33936138>>33936039But how would rgre mares deal with lad?
>>33935743Nurturing? Fuck that. I can't even nurture a house plant.
>Anon is a living leyline.Instead of Anon being anti-magic, or completely immune simply being near him makes all magic more powerful. This is originally discovered when very basic actions like a unicorn trying to pick up a glass causes her to shatter it, or a pegasus trying to take off and nearly reaching her destination before she has to flap her wings a second time.This causes many villains to kidnap him as an attempt to make themselves stronger, Rainbow Dash trying to get him to watch her practice her flying so she can break more records, Twilight making him stay in her lab so she can get enough power to perform even more dangerous experiments, Applejack trying to get you to walk the fields with her so the trees grow bigger and better apples, and Pinkie throwing you a personal party to assure you that they would all still be your friends even if you weren't the magical equivalent of a nuclear power plant.
>>33936419>Pinkie throwing you a personal party to assure you that they would all still be your friends even if you weren't the magical equivalent of a nuclear power plant.Ponk a best.
>>33936558>>33936419>Rarity shoos you out because you mess up her precision and Fluttershy is just Fluttershy
>>33936000Well, took me a bit to get back to writing, but here it goes, as promised. I forgot my name though, so this will go without that.Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/SQvvTXvq---------->Be Anon.>Be surprised about how quickly days can go by.>Be even more surprised when the two weeks mark of having Summer comes and goes.>Be especially surprised by the growth rate of your adoptive daughter.>Or daughteru?>By proper internet terms, she is the latter, so there is that.>However, you have to remind yourself, you are not on the internet anymore, not since a relatively long time.>Which also puts you under the pressure of paying attention to something small and excited.>Summer’s wings just fluffed up one day, about two days ago, and she’s been flapping those tiny things almost nonstop ever since.>At this rate she will take off and only stop to sleep before you know it.>Like a damn colibri.>She is stuck on the ground now though.>Or rather, stays put in your pocket or flaps her little wings while you idly hold her in your left hand.>Thankfully Davenport took this turn of events surprisingly well.>He is the most motherly pony you have met, but then again, the gender roles in this world are basically switched up, or… reversed compared to your own.>He even brought Mocha back in a couple more times, the two foals really did boost sales.>”...and then I told her that if she wants to sample this, she will have to sample my quills first! And that’s how I met my third wife.” Davenport finishes his story, chuckling to himself.>Ponies and their herding culture...“I still have trouble believing that your other two wives just agreed to this.” You plainly state, although smiling, looking up from the inventory log you have been working on while Dave told his story.>”Ah, right, I keep forgetting that you are an alien. Sorry about that.” He replies, shaking his head.>’Alien.’>The expression never ceases to amaze you.
>>33935989Pastebin has a very comfy dark theme. If the writer has it on diff mode the greentext lines become blue too.
>>33936642>After an acknowledging hum, you turn your attention elsewhere.>Namely, on Summer.>She’s been walking/crawling up and down on the table you put her on, getting better and better at actually doing the walk thing.>You aren’t the only one to notice that, Dave already commented on it a couple times, always mentioning how his own foals learnt to walk.>Yours is special though.>Not only because she is a pegasus filly, the kind Davenport never had, but also because she is faster in learning basically everything.>A tiny powerhouse, one could say.>Speaking of, she is about to do something.“Hey. Dave. Look.” You warn your boss, pointing at Summer.>She is sitting on the edge of the table you put her on, intently staring downwards.>She looks like…>”She’s about to pounce, catch her!” Dave half-yells at you, making you drop the inventory log, but it’s already too late.>Summer pounces indeed, but instead of falling down and hurting herself like a hapless kitten would, she opens her wings wide and gently glides down.>It’s instinctual, you realize.“Holy shi… You knew that? You knew they would do this?” >Dave shakes his head, watching Summer as she touches ground.>”I… I think I heard once before?...” He says and shrugs.>Such reassurance.>With a sigh you carefully grab Summer and rub your left cheek against her - she began to love doing that lately - inspecting her for any injury she might have.>Of course she has none, but that’s a parent’s instinct, you guess.>Her adorable cooing reassures you though, she is just fine.>And quite happy too, she just did her first glide!>To be honest, she grew considerably in the past weeks, she is at least 1.5 times larger than she was when you first found her. >She can almost fully fill up your cupped hands now.>At this rate she will reach Mocha’s size before you know it, which is good!>Though it brings up the question.>When will she stop growing?
>>33936642Oh fuck, I completely forgot about this one.
>>33936644>You facepalm with an empty hand, you forgot to read the books about pegasi biology and culture.>Again.“Dave, please remind me to read my literature.” You tell your friend, making him arch an eyebrow.>”Uhm, why exactly?” He even tilts his head, reminding you of one of your dogs back when you were a teen.“Because I’m a forgetful idiot and won’t just risk Summer’s well being because of my stupidity. Got it?” You reply and do a tactical boop, making the stallion scrunch up his muzzle.>”Yes, I got the message. You should really stop doing that though.” He says, eyes focused on your booping finger before you lift it.“Never.” You coldly reply and boop him again. >Dave groans and Summer giggles in the same time in response.>Music to your ears.----------Alright, I will continue the story later this week, though I don't have much time lately.
>>33936642HE LIV! Welcome back!
>>33936649No worries, it's always good to get an update from you so take your time. We'll be here. I'm just happy we're getting more of smoll birb.
>>33936651But Anon. I was never gone. I always lurk. Thanks tho.
>>33936649A writefag returns
>>33936649I've been waiting for this moment my entire life.
>>33936419That would be cool to read. And god bless Panko for remembering that Anon is a living creature and not just a walking power plant.
>>33936642>>33936644>>33936649He's finally back! Fuck yes! Love your work, writefried.
>>33936419>"Just over here, 'Non'mouse.""Uh-huh.">You walk over to where Applejack is pointing, right at the base of one of her trees.>Several of the leaves on nearby branches twitch as though they're in a breeze, but the pegasi fucked up with the weather, and it's dead-hot today.>If you looked carefully, you'd see that the leaves were starting to perk up in the scorching weather.>Applejack observes the tree much closer than you ever could and, after a long few moments, nods to herself.>"That's perfect. Let's go to the next tree, 'Non'mouse.""Sure thing.">"Harvestin' season's comin' up pretty soon, an' I want these here apples to be as plump as possible.">It's not exciting work, but it pays well.>Being a walking talking nuclear power plant, that is.>And to think your dad said you'd never amount to anything.>Due to some bullshit horsey laws about citizenship, cutie marks and their link to adulthood, and a lack of government documents because you just popped into Equstria out of nowhere, you are the ward of princess Twilight Sparkle until further notice.>You... try to stay out of the castle whenever you can.>Twilight's a good mare, but you think that the idea of a colt (you're a human, but that's just the terminology) being legally dependent on her (and technically being 'underage' thanks to not having a cutie mark) has gone to her head a little bit.>Not long after you came home from Applejack's farm for the first time to help with her growing, sweating thanks to the heat, she kept muttering something about "neighponese animus", and offered to help you wash up.>Of all of Twilight's friends, only Applejack and Rarity have picked up on what promises to be inappropriate behaviour.>Applejack has doubled the amount of time she was offering to 'borrow' you to help her apples grow, and Rarity has gotten into the habit of sending Sweetie Belle to look over you, as long as you keep an eye on her and make sure your power-plant powers don't get her in trouble.
>>33936746>hanging with Sweetie so Twilight can't get all rapey around youSounds nice
>>33936806>Ponies live longer than humans>Anon's a child by their standards>They keep trying to set him up with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom for some reason
>>33936806>Sweetie Belle just proud of herself that she's keeping a nice 'hoo-man colt' like Anon safeSweetie is such a good filly.
>>33936825Sweetie Belle's a little cunt. See how vindictive she was to Rarity at perceived wrongs. Applebloom is best crusader.
>>33936836>You are Anon, and you have two tiny adorable fillies arguing over you.>Which is weird, but strangely endearing.>Apple Bloom puts on the most adorable grumpy face she can muster.>"You're a dummy, Sweetie Belle! You can't keep mister 'Non'mouse safe! Applejack says that Twilight's gettin' strange 'round 'Non'mouse, just like that week in Spring where she sends me to spend time with Auntie Orange, and it's my duty to keep him outta harm's way.">Sweetie Belle bell shakes her head, looking outraged.>>"Nuh-uh! Rarity says I'm a big filly now, and she's trusting me to keep Anon safe!">Apple Bloom's giant bow flaps like a pair of wings as Apple Bloom shakes her head in disagreement.>"No! You're just a... j-just a... A CUNT!">Despite yourself, you actually gasp, shocked."Oh!">Holy shit!>Ponies know that word?>LITTLE BABY PONIES CAN SAY THAT WORD?!>Sweetie Belle gasps dramatically and points accusingly at Apple Bloom.>>"I'm telling!">With that, Sweetie scampers off, running in the vague direction of the Carousal Boutique.>After a split-second of looking horrified, Apple Bloom runs off after her.>"No, don't! Sweetie Belle, I'm sorry!">You watch them go, wondering if you should follow.>That's when you hear the sound of leaves rustling in the bushes behind you, and the sound of heavy breathing reaches your ear."Shit."
>>33936825>>33936836>>33936843>The Three daydream about the impossibility of boys somewhere fighting over them
>>33936871>>"No! You're just a... j-just a... A CUNT!"kek
>>33936871>that's just scootaloo, sprinting back to the group after she ran interference with twilight.>anon rewards the little trooper by picking her up and lightly scritching her itty bitty wings as he walks after the other two.
>>33936649Hnnnnng, my heart, I feel the wretched thing beat again.
>>33936076>the old 8-bit songs>2011jesus christ that takes me back.
>>33936954whoops my bad, meant to give that (You) to >>33936065
>>33936951You are welcome, Anon.I have a certain event in mind for the next update, I bet you will have a heart attack because of the cute when you read it!
>>33936972You murderer, DO IT MOTHERFUCKER, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU!
>>33936945>ywn give Scootaloo a wing massage to help loosen up those flight muscles>ywn play a role in having the little filly realize her dream of finally learning to fly
>>33936980Tomorrow, my friend. Tomorrow.
Nuke anon might make celestia and luna able to beat a villain on their own
And might make discord full on Lovecraft chaos god
>>33937015I doubt he's that powerful
Probably true but food for thought
Previous arc: https://pastebin.com/NAkMQMqr---------->You slide the next batch of cookies into the oven.>These were the peanut butter ones so you decided to do them last.>This way Trixie wouldn't be eating more as they came out of the oven.>She and Twilight had passed out in the tub, so you and Star had put them in the bed together.>This was absolutely necessary because once Trixie was out she would latch onto someone or something and would not let go.>Star went to do something most likely related to magic as you started baking cookies for the kids you traumatized.>You stare into the oven, watching the flames beneath the cooking sheet.>No fancy electric ovens here, but this was nice.>There was the fire keeping you warm and the cold seeping into your shoeless feet from the perpetually cold floor.>It struck a nice balance in the room.>You sigh and finally shut the oven.>That should be about...>Twelve minutes?>You'll check 'em in twelve.>You turn towards the nearest support pillar and start to climb it.>It sure was nice that this castle had so many hand holds in the walls.>It may be jagged crystal, but you could climb it if you knew how.>Once you're high enough, you look back towards the chandelier and find a pile of sticks on it with a few new green 'lights'.>It starts to shift a second before you jump, giving you a nice spot to land on.>The jump causes the fixture to swing, which the wolves immediately begin to counter by shifting their weight against the swing.>You sit down and press your back against the chain, the wood closing over your head a second later.>If someone actually bothered to look up, they'd see a shitty chandelier with some bone thing sticking out of the bottom.>Speaking of said bone thing, you take the glaive off and lay it down in your lap, the wood around you shifting around as needed.>The fingers on your left hand dance along the bone as the index finger of your right traces a particular groove within it.
>>33937108>Having this back moved something in you.>You move your fingers down towards the blunt end, where you try to scrape out a bit of dried blood from one of the grooves.>This was a pillar for you in many ways and...>Starlight's back.>You should get down from here.>Or you could stay right here and scare the crap out of her when you get a chance.>That sounds like more fun.>You grin and set the glaive off to the side as you wait for Star to enter the kitchen.>It doesn't take too long before the door swings open to reveal her.>You can just see her through small holes in the wood.>"Okay, I took care of...Anon? Where did he-ooh, cookies!">She smiles and quickly walks across the room towards the batch of cookies, which were cooling by the closed window.>You grin to yourself and slip out of your nook and silently onto the ground once she passes you.>You stay close, but just out of panic kicking range for when you say hi.>Star reaches the counter and picks up one of the oatmeal raisin cookies, despite the chocolate chip ones being right next to them, and sinks her teeth into it.>Just as she sees your reflection in the window pane."Watcha doing, Glimmy?">She doesn't panic, but a very audible clack of her teeth can be heard before she turns to face you.>A hoof is placed in your chest as she looks up at you.>"I hate you.""Aw, I love you too, Glimmy.">"I think my heart stopped for a second.""Just from seeing my pretty face?">She tosses the remainder of the cookie at you.>"Buck you!""Later. I still need to finish the peanut butter ones.">She has one of her signature rage spasms before picking up the cookie off the ground.>"You're lucky you're cute...and a half decent cook.">You give her quick peck on the snoot as she finishes her cookie."You'd love me anyways.">"That is debatable at best.">She stops and looks around the kitchen.>"So did you make anything for lunch or were you just going to make cookies all day?"
>>33937112"I made some lobster salads and tossed them in the fridge.">The lobster was left over from the other day and you didn't want it to go to waste.>Still felt weird to have leftover lobster.>Star gags.>"Guess I'm trying some more fish stuff.">You lean down and give her another quick kiss on the nose."I kept your lobster in a side bowl if you didn't want to try it. That way you can just push it in Trixies direction and watch it disappear.">"Aw, you're so nice to me.""You know it, bitch.">"Oh, there's the normal you. So what should the three of us do after lunch? Do you-">You put a hand up."It's four now, remember? Or did you already forget that Twilight's in the herd now?">She winces, but nods.>"I...actually kind of did. Speaking of Twilight, are you really not mad at her?""Yeah, I mean, why should I be mad at her? She didn't mean for anyone to get hurt and I don't want to become some brooding asshole just because she told me the truth.">"Well that...">She narrows her eyes and puts a hoof on you.>"Anon was never this rational. Who are you and what have you done with him?">You smile and move a hand to scratch at her ear."Yeah, yeah. And how often do you get all fussy over me like this, huh?">She rolls her eyes but leans into your hand.>You scratch a bit more at her before pointing one of yours towards the door.>That sounds like both of them.>But Trixie shouldn't be up until the peanut butter cookies are done.>Unless...>You grab the hotpad and open the oven door.>Well shit.>Trixie knows your cooking better than you do.>You pull the cookie sheet out of the oven as the two enter the kitchen.>"Cookie?">"Cookie.">You chuckle at the of bleary eyed pair who probably just got up from their nap."Okay girls, I've got chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, and peanut butter cookies. Which one do you want?">"Butter.">You're going to assume Trixie meant peanut butter while Twilight->"Chocolate chip, please.">Just about what you expected.
>>33937116>You scoop one of the piping hot cookies of the tray before setting it on the counter.>Grabbing the chocolate one, you walk over to the pair as Star pulls out the salads for everyone.>She walks into the dining room as you crouch down in front of the two mares to offer their respective cookie.>Trixie uses all the grace you would expect.>Which is to say she simply slams her face into your hand and licks up the mess.>Twilight, on the other hand, takes a second.>Her nose starts working, sniffing at the cookie before she smiles.>"Thank you.">She starts to eat it out of your hand, leaving you to just wait until the two are finished.>Really?>You expected Trixie to do this, but why didn't Twilight use her magic to hold the cookie?>Well there's worse things you could be doing.>Plus their tongues kind of tickle.>Thankfully, Starlight has more food to distract them.>"Alright girls, Anon made salads if you're hungry.">Both mares give a quick couple of licks before turning to face her.>"Food?">"Trixie demands food.">You smile and grab a dish towel to wipe the slobber off as the girls walk into the dining room.>You pick up Twilight as you go, making her squeek.>"I can walk!""I'm sure you can but-">You sit down, plopping her in your lap as you do so."I don't care.">She grumbles for a moment before taking a second to look around.>There was food in front of her, Trixie to her right, Star to her left, and you beneath her.>Seeing all this, she settles down and picks up a fork Star had set on the table.>Star spears a bit of lobster from her side bowl and bites down on it.>She chews for a moment before shaking her head and pushes the bowl down the table.>"Still not my thing. Does anypony want this?">Not even a full second passes before Trixies horn lights up to pull the lobster over.>She nearly dumps it before looking back at you and Twilight.>"Do you two want some?">Twilight nods.>"Yes, please."
>>33937118"I'll take a little bit so long as you promise not to bite me for it.">Trixie nods and floats up half of the lobster, depositing the majority of it in your salad and giving Twilight->A single piece.>Twi looks betweeen it and your bowl as Trixie dumps the remainder of the lobster into her bowl.>The scrunch is real as you pick up your bowl to dump some of the lobster onto her salad, chuckling all the while."Don't get too upset. I'm surprised she even offered.">She says nothing, only grabbing your right arm as it passes by her head.>She runs a hoof down your forearm as she looks at it.>"Anon. What did this?">You don't even need to look to see what she's talking about."That was a tar gator. I tried to get a drink one day and he was all 'surprise, motherfucker'. I came back after I healed up, dug a ditch, and then poked him to get him to charge me. That one was about a ton and a half and ran faster than a choir boy trying to get away from his priest, so when he hit the ditch wall snout first, he just kind of crumpled in on himself.">Twilight stares at your arm, her hoof still tracing up and down it.>"I could have prevented this.">...>Oh god damnit.>BAP>She jumps as the fan makes contact, her eyes following it as you put it back in your pocket."New rule. Any time one of you thinks I'm horribly damaged or in pain or whatever, you're getting bapped.">Starlight seems less than pleased by this.>"Anon, denial isn't-">You silence her by sticking a piece of lobster on her horn before returning to Twilight."Look, these are your fault. In fact, I got a good deal of them by being stupid. We've been around eachother for awhile now, so let's not get all whiney because you learned something new.">"But-">BAP"No.">"Well I-">BAPBAP"You saw me naked like an hour ago. Why didn't you fuss then?">Twilight immediately stops and begins to turn red.>"Uh...">Star looks very unamused as she turns to Twilight.>"You were distracted by his dick weren't you?"
>>33937123>"NO!">"That sounds like a yes to me.">Twilight turns even redder at Stars remark as Trixie snuggles into your side before beginning to eat.>You roll your eyes and pat Twilights back."Relax, Twi. And thanks for the compliment. I didn't know my dick could turn ponies blind.">"Well it's just that...it's right at eye level.">You chuckle to yourself as Star shakes her head.>"No it's not. It's at mouth level.">You can't help but laugh as Twilight turns even redder.>"Oh...Ooohh, that-""Hey, how about we change the subject so that you don't emberass yourself?">"Right! That's a good idea. New subject...">She rubs her chin as she looks between Trixie and Star.>"How about this? You haven't been here too long, but you seem to have adapted to pony society pretty well. How did you adapt so fast?""Well I kind of had some help. I poked around your library and picked up some books about culture and body language.">You grab her ears and start to swivel them around."I watched these flipper flappers for when someone was upset and would generally try and not do something that would get me stabbed.">Starlight snorts.>"Well what about when Discord used the mirror magic on me? I didn't have my ears then and you seemed to know what to do.""Well you're either angry or moody so you're pretty easy to handle.">"Buck you! I get horny too.""You're horny when you're breathing, Star.">"Well...nopony was ever going to stab you.""I know that-">"Buuuttt.">The three of you look to Twilight as she shifts around in your lap.>"When you first showed up, Celestia gave me that book that mentioned the other humans and...I may have some plans written up for if you had tried to cause trouble.">She wriggles around as the two other mares turn to stare at her.>"I know it was wrong of me. That I should have just trusted a colt in need but Celestia talked to me about the other humans that-">You can't help it.>You laugh.
>>33937129>The girls look between eachother, all rather confused as you hook a finger under your shirt and pull out your necklace."Do you know why I never take this thing off? It's pretty much exactly because of this. I figured you had some kind of plan for me so I never wanted to be too far away from a weapon when I first got here. We were planning in circles around eachother like a couple of idiots, Twi.">She frowns and picks up the necklace by the biggest claw, something jagged and worn with time.>"So...you were planning on using this on me?">Oh.>This is why you're not allowed to talk.>Shut up, Brain!"Uh, while we're on the subject of how long I've been here, Flutters found me at the start of summer, right?">Twilight nods as she puts down the claw.>"Uh, yes. You spent just over two months...recuperating before Trixie returned from her trip and kicked off Pinkies party.">Trixie finally pulls her muzzle out of her bowl to do something that she loves even more than eating.>Talking.>"And this is why Trixie is the best.">Twilight rolls her eyes as you swallow a quick bite of your food."And now it's October. I know I've been a bit of a shut in for awhile but-">You point at Starlight."I've only seen one birthday. Even for a town this small I would think there'd be more birthday parties, especially with Pinkie running around. What's with that?">All three mares are completely motionless as you look between them."What? Is this weird or...">You trail off as Twilight looks over to Star.>"Did you not tell him?">Star is quickly looking between you and Twi.>"W-well I thought he'd understand that since my birthday is just out of season....But I guess we need to give him the talk?">"Well how did you, you know, first become intimate without understanding eachothers differences?">Trixie taps Twi on the back, making her turn around.>"Trixie asked if Anonymous had a penis. He said yes. Trixie then asked if he wanted to put it to use.">You nod.
>>33937131"It was something like that, but a bit more romantic since Trix brought some flowers.">Trixie nods and returns to her lunch, leaving Twilight to rub her temples.>"I can't believe you two didn't-what were you going to do when estrus came around?">Starlight shrugs.>"Well, it's still kind of early in the relationship so we'd probably use that funky tea that deals with the heat.">"Wouldn't want to have a foal out of herdlock.">Star happily nods at Trixies interjection.>"Yeah! We know what we're doing.">Her attempt at a grin fails miserably under Twilights glare.>Twi turns up to you, her left ear occasionally flicking.>"Do you mind waiting on the answer for that? It's a little complicated.">Touched on some weird stuff and probably just armed an emotional time bomb for Star, so FUCK!"Uh, yeah. I didn't think a single birthday would be weird.">"It's usually not but-">Her eyes nearly pop out of her head as she puts a hoof on Star.>"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to go talking about it with you here-or at all really! Just-">Star rolls her eyes as she snaps Twilights mouth shut with her magic.>"Twilight, you know how I feel about it.">"Mmmph-mmm-mmm.">"And you should know full well by now that I don't care.">"Mmm-mmph-mm-mmm!">"Yeah, you're going to be like this for awhile aren't you? Okay Anon, I've got a question. Since you're...different when is your birthday?""Well it's...">You put a hand up to your chin.>When is your birthday again?>Did you really forget that of all things?>The last time you celebrated it was->Wait.>How old are you?>...>Fuck.>You pat Star on the head as you stare off into space."L-let me get back to you on that one.">You pick up your salad and go to take a bite.>How long had it been?>You couldn't even properly track the years in that place since winter sometimes didn't happen near the Keep.>You jump as a hoof pokes your cheek.>"Trixie has a question to distract you from your growing existential dread."
>>33937135>You swat the hoof away and look over at Trix."I don't-">She places a hoof over your mouth and begins to shush you.>"Sh-sh-sh, it's okay. Trixie is here now. You can cry on her shoulder.">You not-so-gently push her hoof away."Fuck you.">"Later. Trixie is still eating.""...Ask your fucking question before I fold you into a beach ball.">Trixie nods and finally pulls her hoof back.>"Trixie was just wondering if it is normal for humans eyes to be different.">Oh.>Oh fuck.>Okay don't panic just try to explain your stupid Naruto eye without->Twilight spins around in your lap as she tries to get a better look.>"I never noticed that. They're the same color but they have differing structures.">Starlight wriggles over to take a look.>"Huh. I'm surprised I didn't notice that myself considering-hey!">Starlight yelps as Trixie spins her around.>"You didn't notice? How could you not have seen his eyes? Do you rut or make love?">"...What's the difference?">Trixie growls as she locks her horn with Starlights.>"Look into Trixies eyes and tell her what you see.">"I see your eyes, you dyke. And why aren't you getting after Twilight? She didn't notice either.">"She wasn't looking at another herds stallion, as she shouldn't have. Now look into Trixies eyes and see the love she has for you! No homo!">The two start to struggle, allowing you to breathe.>That is a story you did not want to tell.>Actually, why were you telling them any of that stuff?>You were telling these pastel ponies about stuff that would give Doom Guy a murder boner.>At least you never told any until-"Holy shit! It's Thursday.">All three mares stop to look at you, with Twilight being the first to speak.>"What's so special about that?""This whole mess happened within a week. I acted like a little shit to the girls on Friday, the wolves showed up Sunday, and you left for Canterlot Tuesday and stayed there until today. I can't believe the week went by this fast.">Twilight blinks.
>>33937138>"Hm. I think I need to go check the wards.">She gets up just as Starlight teleports away from Trixie.>"I think I'm going to go make some new ones.">"Good idea. We'll be back here in a bit, you two.">And with that, the two teleport away, leaving you more than a little confused."Well that was-Trixie! That's Starlights.">Trixie shrugs as she combines her own salad with Starlights.>"She left. That means it's fair game."----------https://pastebin.com/mbTNxzSC
>>33937145Nice update. Will be able to comment on it a bit more later tonight, but I'm still loving how the characters interact with each other. Keep up the good work, combatcomma.
Not that I'm not happy with the other greens we get but... WHERE'S MY DD2 DAMN IT?!?
>>33935989While I appreciate sceencaps because it also captures any "pic related" I prefer to do my reading in pastebin since I tend to read greens across a variety of devices.
>>33936101Thank you Anon
>>33937145>the cookie thingLel>naruto eye.Nani the fuck.
>>33936076>Luna at P3Do you think she’d start REEEEing at the pony version of Masuda for cutting out the National Dex from Pokemon?
>>33937302Is that a thing that happened? Do you just start out with the national dex then?
>>33937145After 45 seizures I don't remember this story, what is the summary?
>>33937319>he doesn’t knowThey’re cutting Pokemon from games outright now. If they aren’t in the regional Dex, you can’t transfer them into Sword and Shield from earlier games at all.
>>33937302>>33937319It should have never went past G1.Never.
>>33937340Alright that's just retarded.
>>33937328>Starts with Glim Glam and Trix herd and Anon who spent a while in the everfree>his pack of trained timber wolves return from the forest >Much pony snuggling and banter
>>33937350And as one might expected, /vp/ is sperging out about this but amazingly enough so are the normies judging by Twitter
>>33937350>>33937340Reasoning is apparently that it cuts down on the amount of time spent animating and rendering literally every single pokemon, which is understandable iguess.Even if they dont move much, it still adds up and they probably want to hit a particular release date.Another reason is probably so they can add them later as DLC, either paid (Probably suicidal) or free.They've definitely handled this poorly regardless.
>>33936649This is such an adorable story. It makes me wish I could go to Equestria and have foals of my own, even though I'm pretty sure I'd be a terrible father.
>>33937406So I haven't played pokemon in awhile but don't they just recycle animations from previous releases?
>>33936649I love you.
>>33937419They do but apparently they don’t want to do that now for ‘balancing’
>>33937419Yeah, but that sounds like work. And the time spend animating older pokemon and creating new ideas for gameplay could be spent coming up with stupid-ass designs for the new pokemon.
>>33937419Usually. I don't know what is preventing them from ripping animations from Sun and Moon but limiting the pokedex and preventing transfers from older games is going to cripple the new games both for casual and competitive. I've had the same near-perfect IV Salamence since Ruby and kept transferring her up though games. If I can't take her to the new gen then I guess I'm not getting Shield and Sword.
>>33937350No, what;s retarded is that people are acting like Junichi Masuda just cut their grandma down with a chainsaw. It's pathetic and cringy as fuck.
>>33937519Even if GF put the absolute maximum amount of Pokemon they could into the game and cut maybe about 50 or so they'd still cry about it.
>new Pokémon anythingThrow it in the trash along with the rest of the shit, gib me digimons
>>33937539>After a trip to the digital world, you get dumped back into the wrong material world afterwards.>Your Renamon (because of course it's Renamon) trusts absolutely none of the tomgirl equines hitting on her tamer or how weird everything is.>Material worlds that aren't earth are always wonky
>>33937582But wait. Let’s make it more interesting.>Tamer Anon is actually around middle school age like most Digimon protagonists>ponies just can’t into human age, plus the maturity he was forced to develop from being stranded in the Digital World for months on end makes him come off as responsible>Renamon isn’t actually jealous, she just doesn’t want her friend to get molested by pedophiles >she’s a Digimon, she’s seen the dark side of the internet
>>33937603Something that isn't just everyone lusting after Anons dick? In RGRE? Preposterous.More please
>>33937611Okay.>Renamon and Anon’s relationship is actually closer to siblings than anything else>once ponies realize that Anon isn’t an adult, they tend to defer to her for things regarding him, seeing her as the ‘older sister’>she is taller than him after all, and she comes off as a stoic badass with her cool demeanor>of course this leads to ponies thinking SHE’s the adult when technically she’s younger than Anon>stallions start hitting on her, but she doesn’t know how to respond at all>despite how some species look blatantly sexual, Digimon don’t actually experience sexual attraction because they don’t reproduce sexually>technically speaking Digimon don’t have sexes either seeing as an Angemon can become an Angewomon and then a Seraphimon>that’s what happens when you’re made of easily changeable computer data
>>33937640>RenamonSo you enjoy fox pussy more than horse pussy.
>>33937649>what is reading comprehension The prompt was about how Digimon aren’t actually for sexual despite appearing otherwise.
>>33937649Personally,I’d fuck my Renamon. I don’t know about these other fags. Reminds me of the early days of hmofa
>>33937611There was one green/prompt where Anon was full of coltish whimsy, then Pinkie tried to him before discovering he was actually 12
I bet Celestia is a protective lover. Each night is spent warm in her embrace, and every morning is a series of hoops you have to jump through to convince her that she has to let you go and eat breakfast before she goes to day court. And no, she can't just keep holding onto you throughout day court; that's how you get a distracted sun horse, and distracted sun horses don't really listen to her subjects and end up agreeing to honour ridiculous requests. She'll roll her eyes and humour you when you insist that you're just as capable as any mare, and she'll even let you try out for the royal guard if you make it clear how serious you are. But the moment there's danger, expect to be snatched up by Celestia and be held protectively against her chest while she shields you with her wings.Pic related: it's Celestia when she finds out you tried out for the royal guard and hurt yourself during a sparring session.
>being a Condensefag is the ultimate sufferingAs a writefag how would you write the perfect green without feeling like a cuck ?
>>33937695>Alicorns are especially territorial when it comes to their lovers>Celestia nearly swatted Luna on the snoot when Luna jokingly made a half-assed pass as you>It's deeply instinctual and goes beyond conscious decisions, and Celestia ends up feeling embarrassed at the end of the day because she nearly challenged a mare to an honour duel because she looked at you funny>And so when the two of you take a day off to go to the beach and Celestia finds a swan floaty in the water, you can only watch as instincts kick in."Oh, neat, a swan thing.">SPLASH>KICKY KICKY SPLOOSH KICKY">"OUTTA THE WAY, FOAL! I'll teach that... that THING to give you goo-goo eyes! FIGHT LIKE A MARE!">POP>Immediately after that, Celestia picked you up in your magic, deposited you onto your beach towel, and laid down on top of you so that she could smother your face in her tuft and get her scent on you again.>It took a whole hour for Celestia to feel that you're safe enough for her to get up again
Cute horse people asking you to ride their backs when?
>>33937697It would have to be mutual breakup between Cadance and Shining, preferably because they've both found new love elsewhere, Cadance with you, and Shining with another mare.That way neither feels heartbroken, betrayed, or like they're doing the betraying when they separate. They just found people they click better with and realize that they made a mistake assuming their first loves were the pinnacle of what they could feel for another. That happens a lot, actually, which is why I don't recommend marrying the firth person you've ever been with, even if you think you love them with all of your heart.Anyway, I vote Shining gets with Chrysalis and reforms her.
>>33937710>picWhy did the artist decide to go with the classical unicorn looks? So disappointing.
>>33937751I think the classical unicorn tails are charming. They're more otherworldly and magical, and give a sense that not everything is as it seems, and that these aren't just regular tiny horses we're dealing with. I like stories that bring to light other differences between Anon and ponies, like subtle biological differences.
>>33937649What if we do a story were ponies become DigiDestines, and one of them gets a male fox digmon, RenAnon.His tamer never lets him battle because she's afraid he'll get hurt.
>>33937777Alright, sure, Mr. Quads, but look at those cloven hooves. Ugh. I want my little ponies to have marshmallow hoofsies.Is that too much to ask for?
>>33937697Make it gleaming shield instead of shining.Take shinings place completely, make him not exist at all in the universe you write.Include him in the relationship if you dont care about The Gay™Mutual break up like >>33937741 suggests.Shining is negatively effected from the changeling debacle and is literally unable to love as much as he did.Bandits.There are a lot of ways to make it not cuckery if you really want that pink pony princess pussy.I'm personally a fan of gleaming or herding with shiny, for the simple fact it breaks no one up and isnt cucking on a meta level like "And then he dies because i want to fuck his wife" writefagging would do.
>>33937663>Digimon are made of data. Digivolving is the changing of most of their code sans the digimon's uneditable source code, or their soul. >Someone who understands programming and how to code could theoretically edit a Digimon if they can find a way to interface directly with a digimon's data.>You are one such guy, and your Renamon trusts you enough to let you edit her some with the condition that you keep a copy of her default settings. >It started small, like little color swaps and appearance edits. While a battle hardened Mon, Rena' s female vanity was not prepared to turn down an idealized appearance. Little color tweaks here, a few scar removals there, and she looked amazing. >Then you got a bit bolder and tried body changes. When you figured out how to make her fur lusciously soft and perfect for hugs, you did just that. Rena was embarrassed some, but didn't ask to be changed back, accepting her fate as your favorite pillow. >Finally you graduated to mental and sensory overhauls, the part she was most wary of.>Turns out, Digimon don't have an actual sense of taste, they're just programmed to enjoy eating to keep energy levels up. >So after weeks of work, you made Rena the first Digimon with a real sense of taste>You won't forget the first time you made her lunch and how a simple sandwich stunned her into silence.>If you can edit Digimon, why can't you edit the digital world? >ERROR! ACCESS DENIED! >You should have listened to her>You open a gate to God knows where on accident and sent both you and your partner into a totally different digital world hidden from earth. >RGREquestria. >And one scan with your digivice reveals that all of the unicorns around you have varying levels of admin access to the entire world.>Everything might look cute and innocent, and the reversed gender roles are pretty funny, but you get the feeling that this is going to be the most dangerous and confusing adventure you and your partner have had yet.
>>33937827>A hacker messing around with their digimonWhy did I never think about this before?
>>33937827So Twilight getting her wings was just her digivolving
>>33937870>>33937827Didnt one of the...generations(?) start with a guy literally scanning his own digimon OC into existance?
>>33937894I don't know, I haven't actually watched digimon in about a decade.
>>33937894You’re thinking of Tamers, the third anime. And yes, someone did. The protagonist of this season literally wanted a stronger and edgier Agumon (he’s 10).
>>33937894i think there was a movie that had that. that or it was a virus turned digimon
>>33937695Overprotective Celestia greens were always my favourite.
>"By the sands of Nehekhara, RISE.">Still be Sunset>Against your better judgement, you had asked Anon to try some necromancy>Nothing big>You weren't asking him to raise a person>From what he had told you, he couldn't even raise anything bigger than a dog>Still, to be better safe than sorry, you had brought the girls along>To keep Anon from doing anything too evil and because they wanted to see his giant manson>At that moment, you stood around him>Anon was hunched over a dead bird>The air around him seemed... colder as he murmured words that you couldn't quite understand>His eyes were a sickly green as he spoke>He stared intently into the dead bird's lifeless eyes>Every once in awhile the thing twitched, and once you swore you saw its eyes glow green, but not once did it rise>Eventually, Anon stood straight up>He didn't look frustrated about not being able to do it>He seemed... expectant >"It seems the winds of magic are silent today," he said>Fluttershy looked relieved>"So no undead critters?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper>"There will be no undead birds," Anon replied>Rainbow snorted>"Well, that's a bit anticlimactic," she said, gesturing toward the bird. "I thought you bad guys still could do a bit of magic?">"I can, but as I said the winds of magic to not flow here today," Anon said, staring at her. "It almost never does. This world is like a desert.">Placing his hands behind his back, he began walking out of the room>Most of you just sort of watched him>Twilight though, being the nerd she was, ran after him, notebook and pencil in hand>"Anon--">"Your eminence," Anon immediately corrected as the rest of you began to follow him out into a massive hallway>"Your, um... eminence? I don't mean to be impolite, but I saw a rather extensive library while you were showing us around...">"Yes. Most of those were written by my own hand," Anon said, turning a corner.>Twilight nearly tripped over her own feet
>>33937947>Anon has an undead dog as his companion
>>33936065I like thing.>>33936076Please continue.>>33936419I like AJ & Pinkie the best here. I believe there was a Magical Battery Anon green in AiE some time ago. I wouldn't mind an RGRE take on it.>>33936649I am so happy to see this back. Take your time but please continue.>>33936746yeah, this is sounding good. I love how AJ, Rarity & Sweetie are looking out for Anon. Please continue.>>33936806>>33936825She is a good filly isn't she. She certainly going to grow up to be an upstanding mare.>>33936871>>33936873Hmm, ok, yeah, They're all adorable.>>33937145It's great to see the second arc starting. This is one of my all time favorite herds. I love how they interact with each other. I look forward to reading the next update.
>>33937947>"Really? You wrote them?" she asked with wide eyes>"Most, yes," Anon said with a nod. "By the time I came to power my kingdom had been ruled by fools who couldn't so much as hold a quill. Because of their idiocy my land had deteriorated. Towns, strongholds, even my capital had been in a sorry state.">You passed a pair of servants>They bowed their heads at Anon, who seemingly ignored them>"I had wished to bring my kingdom back into power, so I acquired as much knowledge as I could. In the beginning, I nearly bankrupted my land doing so, but as the years went by and my knowledge grew I used it to make myself and my people strong.">Turning into a room, you all stood in a library>It was massive>Probably bigger than the public library in the city by at least two of three times>Twilight let out a squeal, hopping in place as she looked around>Anon looked around as well, a small smile on his face>"By the time I was laid to rest I was called Anon the Builder. Artisans and priests filled my palace. My people were fat and happy. My enemies were few and terrified. I was happy.">He let out a sigh, making his way over toward a few chairs that were sitting by the fireplace>"I assume you wish to look. You may do so," he said with a wave of the hand. "I will rest. The spellcasting took far more out of me than I had considered.">Twilight didn't need any further prompt>Grabbing Applejack's sleeve--because she was the strongest and could help the nerd carry the most books-- she took off toward some of the shelves>Fluttershy went off as well, muttering something about "boy manga">Even Rarity disappeared down a row of books, looking interested as she browsed >You followed Anon as he sat down>Oddly enough, so did Rainbow"That was very nice of you, Anon," you said, sitting beside him as he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes
>>33937827>few scar removals>removing scarsI bet you kiss girls faggotHow can someone's taste be so shit?
>>33938003>"Not as nice as you might imagine," he said. "I was able to learn all I know over centuries. She will not live a hundred years. For an inquisitive like hers being given all of this knowledge is naught but a curse.">Before you could form a response to that, Rainbow cut in>"So, you're like a dead guy, right?">"I am," Anon replied, eyes still closed. "I've been dead longer than even I know.">"So... does that mean you don't have...">Rainbow grabbed at her groin>Anon opened an eye>It was glowing, you noticed>"Since I found myself in this world I've had such... equipment, yes," he said. "Though I wouldn't worry yourself about that. You're far too skinny for me.">Rainbow started to say something, but stopped, her mouth audibly snapping shut as her eyes widened in outrage>There was a giggle, and Pinkie just sort of appeared in your lap>"So howdidcha get here then, Nonny?" she asked>Anon let his eye slip shut>"Fire and flame," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "And the laughter of cruel, evil gods."
>>33938003You make me imagine this Anon like Ainz Ooal Gown. He has the same vibe to him.
>>33938026So someone who looks cool and calculating on the outside but is actually no different than any other autist from here on the inside?
>>33938059>Anon doesn't want to admit that he actually ended up there because he shove a bottle of diet coke and mentos up his asshole
>>33938059His demeanour certainly fits the bill.Though I doubt he would be something like >>33938078 implies.
>>33937827I would absolutely code +cuddlyness, +softness and +fluffyness into a renamon. Or even a pone.
>>33937341I liked G2, but never could get into anything after that.
>>33938024>"Fire and flame," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "And the laughter of cruel, evil gods."We 40k now?
>>33938168>Be the distant future of [current year].>Be Anon, space dude sent to go look at space stuff.>Pretty lonely with the only company being a small droid they gave you that could do EVA repairs.>Decide one day to modify it to give it a more interesting look.>It's now a unicorn with the horn being the broadacaster/receiver.>But unicorns can't do stuff in space.>Give it two small thruster packs and make them look like wings.>Now it's a pegacorn.>Keep fiddling with the base code so that it can do more than just follow orders or play music.>Fuck it up pretty bad though so she's a stickler for the rules and keeps insisting that she needs a factory reset.>Has started talking about an unusual gravity well and dangerous reentry.>Wait.>What was that last part?
>>33938212Yup! Not one bit!Maybe.What is 40k?
>>33937640It makes sense. After all, renamons chest floof is untouchable by normal pony standards. Therefore she must be some sort of super-alpha mare.
>>33938212no, he's a tomb king, from warhammer fantasy.
At a glance I get the notion that this thread is for male subs. Are there stories here for guys like me who are dominant and just looking for interesting cultural subversion and fun with or without smut?
>>33938310>He doesnt want to be a househusband.Homo thread is three doors down.
>>33938268The term is priest king, Anon
>>33938247LEAVE SORCERORBLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODMILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES>>33938268I probably shouldve thought of that first
>>33938329>MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKESThis gets me everytime
>>33938325Its actually "Bone Daddy"
>>33938310Anon, this is Reversed Gender Roles, so the very name of this thread, implies that males would behave females and vice versa. This does not make anyone a male sub, in fact, most of us here would just want to have a big family to raise as a stay-at-home dad. If you stick around though, one of the writefriends might post something to your liking.
>>33938358Ah that screencap never gets old
>>33938397I looked the thread up on desuarchive, and there are a lot of funny things that weren't included in the screencap.
>>33938358I want the sirens to turn me into a barefoot, kitchen-loving husband
>>33938310>not wanting to greet your herd after a long day of work with freshly cooked dinner and a few glasses of wine>not wanting to spend time to pamper each of your mares individually on their days off, working out the kinks in their muscles until they're a little ball of contentment in your arms>not wanting to be surprised when they take you out to that fancy new restaurant that just opened>not wanting to pound the everloving fuck out of them every night>not wanting to fall asleep in the resulting pile of spent and blissful bodies
>>33938362Ayyyy, a serious non-troll reply. I'll start sifting through the pastebins.
>Be Anon>Be the morning of horse-Valentine's day>Or, "Hearts and Hooves Day", going by local terminology>Have a good number of friends, but have never found anyone (sorry; anyPONY) who was interested in you>Maybe it was because you're not a pony, and this is a remote farming village that has been on the receiving end of supernatural horror from strange looking not-ponies.>Maybe it's because you don't act the way they expect a male to behave>Maybe it was because you learned all too late that socks are l-lewd in equine culture, and nobody believes you when you tell them that your socks are purely functional>...possibly because you were a quest at the school house when the "he wears horse-lingerie in front of horse-children" thing came to light>So, not too many suitors>In fact, the exact number is 'zero'.>Your best friend, Pinkie Pie, has been acting strangely for the last week>Strange for Pinkie Pie, you mean>She seems distracted around you, even when she was at work; so much that mister Cake (who never quite forgave you for "exposing" yourself in front of his foals - aka wearing PURELY FUNCTIONAL socks on your feet) glared at you and politely but firmly asked you to leave the SCC>Pinkie's friends didn't shed much light on the situation - they just thought it was Pinkie being Pinkie>Rarity seems to think that Pinkie Pie has a crush on somepony, but Twilight Sparkle doesn't really even think that Pinkie Pie even knows what those feelings are>"Growing up all by your lonesome with your family on a far-away rock farm doesn't exactly do too much good for social development.">You're hiding at home this morning>Caramel and the other "hot singles" (as he calls the other stallions who are too catty to land a marefriend) wanted you to join them to "celebrate" (aka do some daytime drinking while trying not to cry) being quote-unquote "empowered", but you lied and told them you were sick.>Just as you sip your morning coffee, there came a knock at your door.>pic
>>33937710I was going to write a thing but then my world building got into my head.Was going to be a silly bit about Twilytaur and normal Anon going to some version of sugarcube corner for a meal except I thought it be cool to show how being centaurs could change what Ponyville looked like by being a giant tent city instead of some agarian civilization. Would be nice to read though I think it'd be interesting only in the sense of what's different from baseline.
>>33937827Does this mean that Anon tamer can edit ponies/the world around them? This could make the Discord fight interesting.>Discord is actually a computer virus>He bypasses admin restrictions and randomly swaps files around, creating his chaos>The elements of harmony act as an antivirus>Only problem is that Discord won't let them hit him>Anon pulls off what they did in the Digimon movie and slows Discord down with unnecessary programs long enough for the ponies to do their thing
>>33938362>tfw mom says you'd make a good househusband
>>33938596I'd gladly accept Pinkie for Hearts & Hooves Day and beyond.
>>3393836299% of all stories are Anon being an outsider who comes in and has to deal with RGRE, and not enough content where he's born into or raised in such an environment.
>ywn go to a bar and spend the evening watching mares make stallions feel uncomfortable>ywn go home hours later and realize not a single mare so much as glanced in your direction
>>33937123>"Look, these are your faultThey are?
>>33938078>>33938059>>33938026Please don't do this. Ainz is cool and all, but I'm getting sick of the "doofus pretending to be competent" trend that's been going on the last few years.
>>33938310If you have to announce that you're dominant, you probably aren't.
>>33937640>tfw no big sisterbear to drive off thots
>>33938804I share your feelings. I wouldn't mind a story where the main male character wasn't a borderline retard.
>>33937695>Luna tries to sneak you dangerous items>Celestia tries to babyproof the castle for you
>>33938886Based Luna, slipping me dangerous magical artifacts I can use to fuck niggas up.
>>33938329Look man im just sitting here with my neet pony gf being a loving adorant of Papa Nurgle. Go away.
>>33938596The bottom of the pic makes her look like she ripped a big BRRRAPPP.
>>33938893>Celestia finds out>Babyproofs luna>Diaper and bonnet, marshmellow on top of horn to not poke you, big fluffy slippers so she doesn't stomp on you, binkie so she wont want to bite
>For as much as mature as Anon is, even he can't resist the allure of sharp objects and cool armor, even if said items are designed for small quadrupedal horses>Luna couldn't agree more on the topic of weapons, battle, and the thrill such things bring, and is tickled pink to find someone who shares her love for combat>Ponies, the passive creature that they are, believe such things to only be a last resort, and even treat activities such as sparring as a necessary evil>It's probably why a group of guards watch uncomfortably from the sidelines as their Princess, whom they are honor bound to obey, and the new alien colt scream their battle cries to the heavens as they charge each other and swing their swords>The small helmet set comically atop Anon's head like a hat bounces as he clashes his blade against Luna's, who is decked out in a full suit of properly fitted armor>Pushing the long (short for him) sword down against the ornate one clasped between the alicorn's teeth, he begins to bend the mare's neck down before she snorts and throws her head up>Making Anon stumble back a step, he barely manages to get his makeshift buckler crafted from a pony great shield up in time to block the followup attack>Pivoting her to the side, Anon lets his opponent's weight drag her forward as he swings down at the exposed nape of her neck between helm and armor, barely missing the decisive blow as Luna flaps the wing closest to Anon, propelling her just far enough away to avoid defeat>Transitioning into a roll, Luna springs to her hooves and snorts, eyes narrowed at her opponent as she paws at the dirt, muscles tense and ready to spring her into a lunge>Anon turns his body to her and lowers his stance, sword out and shield at the ready.>The training grounds are silent during their stare down, but before they charge, a voice severs the tension>"What are you doing, Luna?!">In an instant, Celestia descends and scoops Anon into her hooves, frantically checking him for injuries
Question: Does cold iron nullify pony magic or is that just a fairy thing?
>>33938950I could actually picture the scene in my mind. Good job Anon.
>>33938954>Question: Does cold iron nullify pony magic or is that just a fairy thing?Depends on your magic system. The precise workings of magic are not defined in the show, so there's a lot of freedom to do what you want.
>>33938950>"Tia!" Luna cries. "You're interrupting our epic battle!">"I'm stopping you from hurting this poor, innocent colt is what I'm doing," she snaps back, as she holds Anon straight out in front of her, eyes shining with concern. "Are you alright, Anon? Did my barbaric sister hurt you?""I'm fine," Anon groans. "And I'm with Luna on this. Put me down so we can finish our fight. I had her on the ropes!">"You most certainly did not!" Luna calls. "It was you who was on the ropes!">"Nopony is fighting anypony!" Celestia says sternly, using her magic to yank the sword from Anon's hand as well as Luna's from the dirt where she had stuck it. "Somepony is going to end up cut and bleeding!""That's a training sword," Anon says as he's placed down, only to leap up to try and grab the blade held just out of his reach. "It's not even sharp.">"And I magically blunted Europa for the match," Luna tries to explain. "We were only sparring, sister.">"Blunt swords can still break bones," Celestia says mattter-of-factly. "And our doctors don't yet know enough about human biology to treat something so serious if Anon were to get hurt. Honestly, Luna, what were you even thinking, fighting a colt?">"I was thinking that I've finally found somepony that isn't a wuss and is actually into the same stuff I am," she says with a roll of her eyes. "Come on, Tia, we were having fun, I know how to be careful.">"The answer is no," Celestia says, picking Anon up in her magic. "And just look! You've gotten Anon all dirty! Come, little human, I shall take you to my personal bath chambers to get clean.">"H-hey! Come back here! You can't just take Anon like this!""Yeah! And I don't want a bath!">"And give me back my sword! It's a relic!""And mine, too!">Celestia merely hums as she goes, ignoring her whining sister and flailing human as she heads inside>The guards watch in confusion as this all happens until one speaks up>"Hey, did anyone else get horny watching that colt fight?"
>>33938984I liked thing
>>33938984was a thing of like
>>33938984>Luna give me one good reason to not get the bonnet and binkie. RIGHT NOW!
>>33938984i would like more please
>Celestia will never press the softest lips imaginable around your face>She will never then turn around and kiss you
>>33939076>>Celestia will never press the softest lips imaginable around your face>Around your entire face>Tfw no 30 fit tall amazon marefriend
>>33936088I feel you man. My computer is almost as old as 4chan itself.
>>33937123>"Look, these are your fault.aren't? Unless you have Anon talking about some specific injury he got that slipped my mind.
>>33937135>Since you're...different when is your birthday?"comma after different. I don't know how you keep doing it man, you have at least 4 or 5 run-on sentences per post. Check your speech pacing before posting.
>>33937697By not writing Candyass and doing literally anything else. Or go bring back the cuck thread, and stop baiting for (you)s here.
>>33937697Do you like her, or do you just want to be a fag and fuck Shining? Because its usually the latter with you people, or being cucks, or both.
>>33939175>>33939178Literally the same guy
>>33937947>"I thought you bad guys still could do a bit of magic?"could* still*>"I can, but as I said the winds of magic to not flow here today," do* not*For gods sake don't let the nerd learn death magic.>>33938024>For an inquisitive like hers being given all of this knowledge is naught but a curse."mind* like>>33938024So...this an undead that ain't dead no more, and got his junk back? He's been thinner than all of them, who's he to judge?
>>33939180You wish, don't ask dumb questions.
>>33938984Is this the kid anon from that accidentally almost-pedo pinkie story?
>>33939190Do you like your ass eaten ? You type like you’d look cute in a frilly dress.
>>33939216Celestia's reaction would make sense, if that were the case, but probably not.If he was a kid, unless humans are really big compared to ponies, than a pony sword and shield wouldn't have been too small for him. Also, Pinkie was going to take over watching Anon in that story, I don't see why Celestia would swoop in and steal him away tot he castle.
>>33939216No, he is merely a man child
>>33939246Not that anon, but wew lad, you sound like a fag.You might want to check that, if you get what I'm saying.
Can anyone help past this point? https://yuki.la/mlp/33180464 Reverse Gender Roles Equestria 11/16/18(Fri).I was just looking through all the old RGRE threads but I cant find the next thread.
>>33938613>He has Renamon sink her claws into Discord to establish a direct connection.>Then he sents Discord a .zip bomb through Renamon of his entire porn collection.>Discord can't even scream before processing all the degenerate trash slows him to a halt.>Renamon jumps away right before the harmony beam stones Discord again.>She would have jumped earlier, but she caught a glimpse of one of the porn folders and was stunned.>C:/Users/Anon/Pictures/NotPorn/Rena>There were two subfolders. /tender and /inpreg>She holds her burning cheeks, glad her fur obscured her blush. >No wonder Anon password locked so many folders...
>>33938984>Anon was in the room the princesses had provided for him, squeaky clean, smelling of expensive soap, and still angry about it.>Princess Celestia had not only taken him to her private bath, which he admits were pretty spectacular, but had also insisted on helping him wash up.>And it wasn't even sexy!>She had simply told him that he didn't have anything she hadn't seen before, then proceeded to dunk him into the large, swimming pool-sized bathtub.>After a vigorous scrub down of every nook and cranny on his person, some places Anon had not even touched himself before, she let him dry himself off and sent him to go get dressed and ready for dinner.>Seriously, what is with that mare?>He's goddamn twenty-three!>Before coming to magic pony land, he had a well-paying job and more responsibilities than just washing behind his ears and eating his vegetables.>Why can't she understand that?>Just then, the door creeks open, and Anon groans."Celestia, if you're planning on tucking me in, I want you to know that I will fight you every step of the way.">"Well, we never did get to finish our bout earlier, so perhaps a pillow fight might do well to settle things.">Anon sits up and can't help but smile at the blue mare carefully shutting the door behind her."Luna? What are you doing here? Don't you have night court or something?">"I will, in a couple hours," she confirms. "Celestia sent you to bed quite early, didn't she?">Anon groans and flops back into bed."Is the sun even down yet? My bedtime hasn't been before ten in five years.">"No, but on the bright side, that does mean we can 'hang out' as the foals say," Luna says cheerfully as she flutters over to the bed and settles down next to Anon. "I brought violent graphic novels!""Comics?">"No, they're more mature," she answers defensively. "I collect them.">Anon sighs."I guess I could use some mature entertainment right now, considering your sister treats me like a kid."
>>33939403>"That's probably because you are by equine standards," Luna answers casually as she produces a stack of literature from a satchel. "She's always had a very strong parental instinct. I remember joking that she was more foal-crazy than most stallions when we were growing up.">Anon blinks."Wait, what did you just say?">"That she's crazy about foals? You should have seen her when she had her first one some thousand-eight-hundred years ago. Even her husband thought she was being overprotective.""No, you said I'm a kid by equine standards," Anon clarifies. "What do you mean by that?">"Oh, merely that, while in your early-twenties, you would still be considered quite young if you were a pony. Our kind don't reach physical maturity until sixty.""That's insane," Anon says disbelievingly. "You have to be joking.">"I'll have you know that I used to wield Honesty, thank you very much," Luna tells him. "I speak only the truth.""So you're saying your sister treats me like a kid because... I am one.">"In her eyes, yes," Luna confirms. "Though it's utterly ridiculous. As you say yourself, the same does not hold true for your species, and you are an adult of your kind. To treat you otherwise is degrading. Same as treating you like a stallion.">Anon runs a hand down his face, still shocked by what he had just learned.>He's surrounded by goddamned elves."What's that supposed to mean?" he finds himself asking.>"Well, if I'm not mistaken, the males of your species are the providers, yes? And your females are the ones who raise the foals and maintain the home.""That's right," Anon answers, blinking. "Wait... it's different here? Is that why so many of the guards are girls, and all the leaders are to?">"Indeed," Luna says, tilting her head. "I'm surprised you hadn't noticed sooner. I had deduced your nature quite early from how you spoke of your home. It's why I don't treat you like a stallion who needs to be cuddled, but as, well, a fellow mare, I suppose."
>>33937697by not mentioning shining
>>33933822bringing flights of whimsy to new heights
>>33939205Data is weird.
>>33938596Cutepilled and wholesome
>>33939417>Our kind don't reach physical maturity until sixty.>The CMC and their classmates are all over 50 years oldSo how come they're so dumb?
>>33939500Really need to think on that huh, how many concussions do you have a day?
>>33939375Here's the Yuki.la link: https://yuki.la/mlp/33188812And here's the desuarchive one: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33188812/
>>33939500They're like elves. It takes them about 100 years to learn what we do in 20.
>>33939388>Discord is still angry at Anon after he's released>He still can't get those images out of his head since they are essentially a part of him now>Sometimes he still freezes in place to buffer for a few seconds
>>33939518Reminds me of this /tg/ post.
>>33936649It is time, anons. Dunno if I managed to reach the goal I made for myself, but, well, here it goes.Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/SQvvTXvq---------->Be Anon.>Be deep in your thoughts, even humming to yourself.>Davenport delivered in telling you the thing.>The thing which is reading the blasted books you got from the library.>The librarian mare was kind enough to lend her oversized pet lizard of a dragon help you finding the material you were seeking.>Poor little guy is actually a slave, he just doesn’t realize it.>But that does not matter.>You are in your home now, in all of its imposing, humble glory, towering over all the other houses around it.>Summer’s busy taking a birdy nap on your lap as you read through the pages of this old book about pegasus mating habits, which somehow got into the pile of books you ended up borrowing.“What the fu…” You mutter, squinting your eyes at the words and illustrations. “You gotta be kidding me…”>According to this old book and its yellowed pages, those singing and dancing mares a couple months ago weren’t just celebrating the arrival of Spring.>Now you feel kinda pissed, especially knowing that when one of them smooshed your face into her chestfloof, it wasn’t accidental.>Freaking ponies…>Your silent anger is interrupted by the little peeping noise Summer makes when she’s about to wake up.>You put the book aside and proceed to gently caress the tiny thing’s fiery red mane.>Slowly her eyes open up, and after a few blinks, she focuses them on you.“You imprinted on me, you know that, cutie pie?” You ask her, a smile pushing its way onto your face. “Cheeky little…” She returns the smile, which turns into a giggle.>You contently shake your head and look outside through the nearby window.
>>33939580>It’s the late morning and a wonderful Saturday, which means Quills and Sofas is closed.“Hey, what do you think about a picnic?” You ask Summer in a seemingly nonchalant but coy tone.>She doesn’t know what a ‘picnic’ is.>She doesn’t really understand any spoken languages just yet.>But she sure as heck understand your tone of voice.>Her interest is piqued, if her little wings’ excited flutter is any indication!“A picnic it is then!” You grin, picking her up and putting her into her favourite place: your chest pocket.---------->This is such a wonderful day.>Then why can’t you finally just relax??>It’s been weeks since you have done the unthinkable, and yet…>Be a nervous mess.>Be outside in this sunny, warm day, yet feel cold inside.>Be Summer’s mother, the ashamed.>Ever since that moment you gave your foal to Anon, you just couldn’t get rid of the knots in your belly.>It’s starting to show on you as well, just the other day you noticed dark circles around your eyes, and your coat is looking so dull…>But it’s a wonderful day today, the weather is nice, the fresh, flowery breeze brings everypony outside to enjoy the weekend…>Including Anon and Summer.>From your elevated point of view - atop some fluffy cloud that was lazily floating around - you spot them.>It wasn’t your intention to spy on them, you don’t do that everyday, but alas, if they are already here…>Peeking down you can see the towering pillar of fatherly instincts and your little bundle of joy play happily.>Anon’s doing something new now, though.>He is holding Summer up with one hand and… runs? >Sprints!>He picks up a surprisingly fast pace, and then…“Holy moly…” You whisper as you stare at Summer extending her wings and glide up, the speed and wind keeping her airborne as she floats effortlessly.
>>33939583>She can already glide, yes, and she is trying to keep her altitude too, but… >How did Anon know about when and how to teach a pegasus foal to fly?>You can hear Summer’s giggling as you stare into empty space, trying to work through this conundrum.>Wait.>You hear Summer’s giggling?>Looking down you notice the tiny filly, not unlike a little bird, flying towards you.>You quickly duck behind the cloud, then take off, zooming away in a blur.>You can almost hear a disappointed little noise behind you.---------->Be thoroughly impressed.>Be slightly worried about safety.>Be Anon, watching your adoptive daughteru glide around like a kite.>Her joyous giggles could be heard even from down here, where you stand as you stare up.>She is so small, you can barely keep track of her with the sun being almost directly above.>Thankfully her mane makes good contrast to the sky.“S-Summer! Come to Papa, sweetie!” You yell up at her, taking the attention of a few nearby ponies.>That does not matter now though, you could swear you have seen something - perhaps a pony - jolting out of the cloud Summer’s gliding nearby.>With your fatherly instincts screaming ‘danger’, you do the only thing you can and call out for your little one again.“Summer! Wanna have some ice cream?” You ask and already know the answer.>She was introduced to the cold and sweet dessert just the other day, but she instantly fell in love with it.>You have brought some with you on the picnic, the cold delicacy patiently waiting in the cooler you left nearby.>Like a stray bullet… or a baseball aimed straight at you, Summer nosedives.>Your eyes go wide, trying to calculate what should you do to catch her.
>>33939585>The baseball metaphor wins out and you hold out your cupped hands.>A second later you feel the little ball of fur and feathers impacting your palms as you grab her out of the air.“Wow! Holy shirt, are you alright, kiddo?” You ask her, intentionally censoring yourself.>The cutie patootie just stares up at you from within your cupped hands, her large green eyes sparkling with excitement.>She is just fine.“Alright, alright, you are fine… Let’s have some ice cream.” You sigh in relief and nuzzle your cheeks to hers.>Her little coos makes you forget your fright.>This is such a wonderful day.----------And that's that for now. Heads up, I have no idea if I will be able to write more in the upcoming days thanks to IRL stuff.
>>33939589Another adorable update. Thank you.
>>33938847>>33938804>Anon>Actually being competentI want some of what you're taking.
>>33938954>>33938979>Artemis Fowl and Holly Short in RGREquestria
>>33939180Somehow people don't realize that they type a certain way and it forms a recognizable pattern and it's the digital version of somebody recognizing your handwriting. Run on sentences, using too many or too few commas, certain words being used over and over, etcetera. It's how you can recognize when a writefag is making a post even if it's a regular post and not a greentext dump.
>>33939589Thanks for the update, friendo. Summer a cute. Good luck with the IRL stuff.
>that one human wizard in gen1 that would kidnap ponies to make them mine magical gems for him Thinking on it, would male villains basically be the equivalent of the stereotypical “bondage” villainess for the pones? Lot of em sure do like tying/chaining the ones they capture
>>33937697Source on that image?
>>33939666>Anon plays O&O with his mare friends>They decide to mix it up and pit the players against each other>Anon gets to play the villain and has the resources of the dungeon at his disposal>Anon is shit at the game so there's not much chance of him winning instantly>After he agrees to play the villain, a few of the mares suddenly suggest they costume up to help them get into their character's roles>The others enthusiastically agree>Anon ain't a party-pooper, so he agrees too seeing how excited they are>One mare dresses up as a wise and aged wizard>Another one is covered in magical plate mail>One has faux-fur and an adorable horned viking helmet on>Anon is left with a magically-created outfit that looks like it came out of a bdsm store>It's like a mixture between He-man's outfit and Catwoman's costume"I see what you're trying to do, girls, and it's not going to work."
>>33939672>>33939677>the human need to saddle/tie/leash/etc any form of animal-like creature is turned back upon them as a rather fetishy subversion “S-stop moaning damn you! I’m trying to be dastardly!”
>>33938783>>33939155Fucking...>>33939168Part of the issue is that I'm getting back into the rhythm of writing after doing nothing but shitposting and one-off prompts, but it's mostly because I went full retard and posted it before I did a final check.
>>33938984>The guards watch in confusion as this all happens until one speaks up>"Hey, did anyone else get horny watching that colt fight?"kek>>33939403>>33939417I'm loving this. Please continue.>>33939589hnnng. Top adorable and comfy. Thanks for the update. I patiently await the next one after you've attended to your IRL stuff.>>33939644Huh? I wonder how that would work. Could be interesting. The last book I read was "The Lost Colony". I probably should read up on the rest.>>33939677kek
reminderequestrians are lewd and sexually aggressive
>>33939778>she says>while posing like this
>>33939589>summer's capable of flight now.Looks like anon needs to invest in a custom baseball mitt, or a net.
>>33939510Thanks man, really did help me out and also appreciate the extra link incase something may block my way.
>>33938954>>33938979This. Though you could say that the black metal the storm king's lackeys put on the unicorns was iron, and that the royalguard use brass or a gold alloy as armor because of it. We've definately seen it in timberwolves.
>>33935266M*A*S*H in Equestria when?Redheart sexually harassing the surgeons when?
>>33939923>Anon in RGREquestria>He appears about 80 years before the show starts>Equestria is in the middle of a war (or they're assisting an ally with their war with another country) and Anon gets drafted>Thanks to the bureaucracy being a mess, he's already on a train to horse-Korea before anypony in charge realizes that he's a he and not a she>"Celestia will have my flank on a silver platter if I sent a stallion out on the frontlines to die. Just make him a nurse or something.">Anon is given a crash course on basic equine biology and an "if this happens, do this" flowchart >Mostly he just makes sure soldiers don't bleed to death and gets things for the doctor mares; sometimes surgical tools, sometimes coffee>Everyone is stressed out and looking for release; Anon is hit on relentlesslyRelated question: are doctors still considered above nurses in this universe? Because we've seen stallion doctors and mare nurses in the show, right? So are these just cases of stallions somehow making it through medical school to become doctors and a few mares settling for being nurses, or are we switching the roles of the titles and making doctors assist the nurses, and the nurses having to had gone through 8 years of school so that they can practice medicine? Because I've seen stories where both of these things happen.
>>33939936To answer your question and keep it connected to your prompt: Think of Anon's position as a medic. He is not going to save your life out on the battlefield. He is only going to save you from suffering while you die.
>>33939952>"Do I look like a doctor to you, asshole? I learned how to stop bleeding a week ago, and that was because the mare who was bleeding to death kept yelling at me to put pressure on the wound."Anon the medic is doing his best, dammit.
>>33939677>Anon not making Tucker's Kobolds>Only giving him the kinky outfitLame.
>>33940031Gotta make the mares earn their fear fucking, they survive, they can become pets.
>>33939580>“You imprinted on me, you know that, cutie pie?” You ask her, a smile pushing its way onto your face. “Cheeky little…” She returns the smile, which turns into a giggle.oh my god that is adorable
All this nerd stuff makes me really horny.
>>33940302>Walk by in the background of your marefriend Moondancer's Twatch stream.>You have nothing but form-fitting underwear and a tight t shirt on.>Ponyland with it's absence of trashy food and lack of cars making you walk everywhere is kind to you, so you're actually svelte and very healthy now.>Moondancer's viewers go nuts when they see a nerd shacked up with a hottie.
>>33940317>>33940302>ywn hide under Moondancer's desk before her stream starts>ywn eat her out while she plays and tries to keep her cool>ywn somehow manage not to get her account suspended for l-lewd content
>>33939677Tfw you'll never give yor mares PTSD over a tabletop.
>>33940364Oh, I'd give my mares some PTSD over a tabletop, if you know what I'm talking about.
>>33939580>The librarian mare was kind enough to lend her oversized pet lizard of a dragon help you finding the material you were seeking.comma after dragon*, then to* before help>>33939589Hnnnnnnng
>>33940417This nigga gets it.
>>33940417I'd show them the fun that is Mind Flayers.
>>33940518Huh. Guess I missed that. Usually I catch grammatical errors like that while double checking. Anyway, thank you for pointing it out, it is fixed.
>>33940586Excellent, cute baby horse is my jam.
>>33940548If you really want to fuck them, get a FFG game WFRPG2E, DH, RT, ect and throw a daemon incursion at them in their own province, two if they're Bretonian.D20 trash from wizards isn't fun since no matter how much of a useless working class peasant you are, you and your grandmother can somehow afford arms and armor, read and write in at least a couple of languages, and take down dragons. You can still give your players a sense of terror, but it doesn't feel as heavy when they're already propped up on a pedestal.
>>33940616That's true, I do like breaking the pedestal they stand on though.
>>33940630To each their own. I like systems where I can dig them a pit and watch them fall into them, and maybe climb back out if they use their thinker.
>>33940685That's what I meant, but you are right.
>>33939677Why not have Anon take up the mantle of Lord Calcico?
>>33940761To be fair, if I were an undead lich with waaay too much time on my hands, that's exactly the kind of stuff I'd do.
>>33940761>>One town is still required by law to be nude. Have a bard working on that.If by working on that you mean the bard is working on being the cause of a significant population boom in that town.
>>33940761I love this, surprised we haven't had a story with Anon doing this in Equestria, or maybe even Equestria girls, where he targets every building owned by Filthy Rich, and proceeds to write one letter of the phrase. Suck, My, Dick.
>>33939417Nice subversion of the usual "Luna is out of touch and oblivious" cliche where she's the one who has everything backwards and other ponies try to explain to her that things aren't like that anymore.Instead, Luna is the only rational pony who grasps what's going on and all the others are acting like spazzes and think she's crazy.
>>33939936>Everyone is stressed out and looking for release; Anon is hit on relentlessly>Anon is awarded the Medal of Wonderfulness for single handedly keeping up the morale of all 300 mares stationed there>Wheels himself up to the stage, his hips and upper legs in a cast
So... the pegasus mares need to make a mating dance for the male?
>>33940761jesus christ how have I not seen this one yet?
>>33940761is there more stories that are more like this?
>"I do NOT like this shirt, Anon!"
>>33941065Do something about it then.
>>33941055I might have a few. Let me look through my files.
>>33941065Ponies look cuter with clothes on.Applejack in a twisted up lumberjack shirt and pony daisy dukes is fucking amazing.
>>33940761>>33940845>>33941055>Daring-do makes the grave mistake of unearthing a strange tomb in the Everfree Forest >Ancient Lich Anon awakens and proceeds to “terrorize” the local pony populace>he claims he cursed Daring with a mummy curse despite not actually being a mummy, though she still believes him and is constantly wondering if she’s going to die or something he never actually cursed her >he kidnaps Rarity on the regular so she can make him “the hottest dead-man this side of the west side”>he demands virgins from Ponyville, he never actually does any harm to them but he does mock them for being a virgin when they show up to his tomb >has attempted to “usurp” Nightmare Night from Luna almost every year claiming “The Day of the Dead” is better, usually by trying to get all the pony’s drunk of hard booze and resurrecting their dead parents >is afraid of Granny Smith because he tried to resurrect her without realizing she wasn’t actually dead and he panicked when she woke up >has “accidentally” set fire to Twilights library no less then 34 times >claims Spike is his acolytle, and is constantly trying to teach him necromancy. Spike is unsure how to feel about that
>>33940857Not that Anon. Just agreeing. Well said.
Real talk for a second, Anons. How would any of you actually react to a mare showing genuine interest in you and asking you out on a date? How'd you feel if she like who you were and wanted to start courting you?
>>33941142This.....this is glorious.
>>33941151Yes, YESSSSSS, MOAR WHIMSY!
>>33941151I'm not a fan of all the Eldritch horror stuff but that was pretty funny.
>>33941178I'd first check to see if someone else was standing behind me. Then I'd consider myself lucky and strive to be the Anon she believes me to be.
>>33941178Deer in Headlights.Shock and Disbelief that she could actually be interested in me.
>>33941210Oh, man, that would be a big one. And not one she'd probably be prepared to hear.>"But... why me, though?"
>>33941192>Eldritch horrorDid you even read that? There was nothing about eldritch horror in it you dumbass.
>>33941178Depending on my immediate mood, and if there are people around, this>>33941210too me saying bullshit too her face, and asking her what she wants from me.
>>33941289>You are Rarity, and you can feel your heart breaking.>Poor Anonymous seems to simply be unable to fathom why you are interested in him.>Clearly, it's for his wit.>The way he can make you laugh any time you are feeling unhappy or frustrated about an order down at your Boutique.>It's how well he gets along with your little sister that makes you confident that he is father material.>And, if you may be crass, once he was separated from (in his words) "junk food and cars", he slimmed down into quite the delicious morsel.>Something about him charmed you, and watching him eek out a living as the only one of his kind just felt wrong.>And now you are trying to remember that you are a big, strong mare, and that big strong mares don't cry in front of stallions.>He's convinced you want something from him.>The idea that he might be desirable - that he IS desirable - is... foreign to him.>...>Who did this to him?>Who hurt your precious, beautiful Anonymous?>This is unacceptable.>This criminal!>This is..."Sniff...">Th-this is...">"...Rarity?">This isn't fair.">"Woah! Woah, hey, what's the matter?">You feel Anonymous's strong arms wrap around you as you pitch forward and press your face into his chest.>You're not ashamed to admit that you're crying right now.>"Rarity... hey, take it easy. D-Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry.">Nothing but abuse could have made him feel this way.>Nothing else could have made him question the very idea of somepony loving him.>You're going to find whichever mare did this to Anon.>And when you do, you're going to show her EXACTLY what properly-raised mares to do colt-beaters.
>>33941363Is it weird if I saw her doing that I would immediately ask her if I have anything to help like money, and if Sweetie is in danger?
>>33941178I don't know.
>>33941368>ywn make Rarity fall in love with you due to your generosity I bet appealing to their Elements gets them hot.>Rainbow Dash counts herself lucky that she's found another monogamous freak>Fluttershy enjoys those who are gentle and look out for others>Pinkie Pie can't stay away from someone who can crack out a good joke at almost any time>Nothing turns Applejack off more than lying, and even if you did wrong, you'll get into less trouble with her if you just fess up than if you try to cover up the truth - it shows that you own up to your mistakes>Twilight... likes you if you're that Anon who is a magical nuclear power plant?
>>33941363Not entirely new but I like the idea nonetheless.
>>33941381I just like the idea of being, y'know... wanted.
>>33941376>Twilight gets turned on be being friendzoned.>This part of her psyche is deeply distressing to her.>She hasn't yet realized that a lover is just another kind of friend
>>33941055>he hasn't seen /tg/'s backlog of storiesoh you sweet summer childhttps://1d4chan.org/wiki/Category:Storieslook upon but a fraction of the works of the mighty and despair
>>33941376>Twilight>ywn gain her attention when you pull out your Day planner to take notes and schedule your next appointment with her.
>>33941407>"I'm so wet right now.""...what?">"I said, it's great you're organized now!"
Sunset is the most sexually frustrated of all waifus.
>>33941518Both of these lovely nerds are sexually frustrated, Sunset is just the one to snap first and lewdly bully her purple nerd into asking Anon out. Horsie instinct will not be denied damnit!
>Twilight gets the responsibilities of ruling the kingdom solo shoved on her by Celestia and Luna while they go to enjoy retirement.>When they begin to realize that one, retirement is boring, and two, perhaps just dropping Equestria in Twilight's lap and booking it was cruel, they decide to come back.>They expect the mare to be at her wit's end and relieved to see them, but instead, everything is going fine.>Apparently King Sombra even came back, but was handled in a matter of minutes.>In fact, they return to see an Equestria vastly different than when they left.>Somehow, in only a few months, unemployment has dropped, test-scores across the kingdom have improved, and technology that had once only been seen in the big cities has been implemented in the more rural areas.>They're stunned, and ask Twilight how she managed all of this.>"It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that much," she explains, patting the leg of her husband, the human Anonymous, "But Anon here helped keep me grounded and has even been coming up with a lot of the brilliant ideas that have been being implemented across Equestria.">She sighs, leaning into his hand as he pets her head.>"I guess what they say is true. Behind every great mare, there's a great stallion. I don't know what I would have done without him.""You'd have done fine, Twiggly, I just pointed out a few problems here and there that I'm sure you'd have fixed yourself without me.">"And punching King Sombra out as soon as he showed up? I still can't believe my husband managed to take out one of Equestria's biggest threats all on his own.""It was a knee-jerk reaction, really. The guy showed up in our home in the middle of the night planning on abducting me to use as leverage against you. Too bad he didn't know I had a mean right hook and a bad response to jump scares.">As Celestia and Luna watch the two hug and exchange a quick peck on the lips, they feel cold pits form in their stomachs.>These two are better rulers than them.
>>33941524>Okay.>You are Twilight, and the worst-case scenario is that you have a panic attack right here right now and throw up on your shoes.>Best-case scenario?>You make out with a cute boy.>"C'mon!">You watch as Anon, the newest transfer student from... somewhere, walks down the hall.>His suit is pressed, his hair is trimmed, and your eyes instinctively seek out dat bulge between his legs>And sister?>It's a-jigglin'.>Sunset jabs you between the shoulder blades, making you yelp and jump forward.>"Do it!">Oh, god.>Okay.>Whoo!>Right.>You lurch forward, feet drawn towards Anon via autopilot you didn't know you had.>Your mind is racing with doubts and what-ifs and traitorous thoughts of jumping into a locker and waiting there until the school day was over.>But your feet led your reluctant body towards the ever-nearing new student, faster than your mind can come up with something to say that will convince him to hook up with you and Sunset.>So, naturally, you are left speechless by the time you get within groping distance and reach out to tap him on the shoulder.>Like any good boy of decent upbringing, he jumps in surprise and shies away from the touch of a strange girl.>"Oh!" Anon gasps, whipping around to face you, "C-Can I help you?">Okay, Twilight.>It's now, or never.>Sunset is counting on you.>Your disappointed mother is counting on you.>Shining is trying to hook you up with his nerdy friends, and you've caught your dad staring sadly at grandpa's ornate and jeweled wedding ring!
>>33941554>Now's the time to make Sunset proud.>Now is the time to make every ancestor in the history of evolution proud!>YOU ARE THE MOST RECENT LINK IN AN UNBROKEN CHAIN OF BOY-FUCKING THAT STRETCHES BACK TO THE DAWN OF TIME, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU BEGAN ACTING LIKE IT!""W-Would you like-" you blurt, tongue spasming, "t-to watch some.. watch some movies with me?">There's a painful silence.>"Uh...""A-And Sunshimmer?">Fuck, wait>That's not her name."Sunset?">"Well-""Shimmer?">WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT"There'll be snacks.">WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE INCENTIV->"...sure.">What."Cool!">YOU DO NOT FEEL 'COOL'."I live at-">You mutter your address and hope you didn't stammer too badly.>The last thing you want is for him to think you live downtown and end up getting raped."-and Sunset and I are having a movie night after school.">You smile at him, putting on charm you didn't know you had right up until the moment you were put on the spot.>AKA right now."You can bring chips if you feel like it.">Anon smiles back at you, looking at east.>"Hey, sure!" he chirps, "That sounds like fun! It's been forever since I relaxed and just spent an evening watching a movie. In fact-">Anon digs into his pockets and rummages around until he finds a scrap of paper.>...rather, he doesn't find one and ends up tearing a corner out of his notebook.>"Here, this is my cellphone number. Gimme a shout of the plans change, alright?">Oh, god.>...is this first base?>You reach out and, fingers trembling and incredibly aware of how sweaty your palms are, snatch the piece of paper from between Anon's fingertips.>He smiles at you as you stuff it clumsily into your breast pocket, taking three whole tries to remove your fingers with the sweaty appendages dragging the dry paper out with them.>You stand there for a long two seconds, wondering where to go from here.
>>33941556>Do you walk away?>Do you kiss him?>ARE YOU MARRIED NOW?!>This has GOTTA be second base.>...he's staring at you expectantly.>Like he wants something in return for his phone num->OH FUCK"H-Here's mine!">He wants your phone number!>YOU WERE WRONG, MOM>'LIL TWILY ISN'T A DYKE>YOU ARE>YOUUUU ARREEE!>A little fumbling, a little uncharacteristic page-ripping (which is normally a mortal sin in your book), and a bit of pen-finding (right in your pocket protector), and you've successfully given a boy your phone number under the pretense of having a movie together.>You've already surpassed your expectations.>With a final smile and a wink, Anon walks away.>Effortlessly gliding away, like all boys seem to do.>God.>Why are boys just so... effortlessly perfect?>You're so focused on staring at Anon's patoot that you don't realize Sunset is sneaking up behind you until she slaps a hand on your shoulder.>You yelp so loudly in surprise that Anon actually turns around to see what's happening, looking alarmed.>You wave at him; he waves back.>Nailed it.>"So," drawls Sunset, "Did you do it?"
>>33941560>...>Did you do wha-"-movie night?">Sunset nods.>You grope your tit just long enough to dig out Anon's phone number, which miraculously wasn't smudged by your sweaty appendages."He's down to clown with coming to my place for a movie.">Sunset gazes at you with something almost approaching pride.>"Well, hecks and dang," she crows, "I almost didn't think you had it in you, Sparkle.">She pulls you into a headlock and - do your dismay - begins to grind her knuckles into your scalp, giving you a noogie.>"We'll make a gentleman-killer out of you, yet!""S-Stop!">You're fine not being a 'gentleman-killer'!>You wanna be just Twilight!>Because Twilight has a cute boy who is, for some reason beyond your understanding, planning on seeing a movie with you!>Tonight!>At... your house.>With you.>In the dark.>And Sunset.>Oh god.>Oh, GOD.>Okay, there's that panic attack you were worried about.>It's a few minutes late, but you know it's dependable.>Okay, you think you're going to throw up soon.>You don't wear shoes IN your house, so it's cool if you barf on them.And that's the story of how Anon met his wives.
>>33941556>Gimme a shout of the plans change, alright?"if* the>>33941564I like this thing, it is a good thing and I need more of this movie night. The Squirrel of Want compels you.
>>33941577>>Gimme a shout of the plans change, alright?">if* theWhoops. Tiny bit drunk right now, Anon, I'm not surprised I goofed a little bit. In fact, I'm honestly surprised I did as well as I did.>I like this thing, it is a good thing and I need more of this movie night.Sorry, I'm drunk right now and I'm going to bed. It's up to all of you to continue this story. I believe in you - a sexy movie night with an awkward and anxious Twilight, an oblivious Anon, and a horny and in-charge Sunset is a recipe for... some sort of story, I'm sure. Goodnight, thread, I'm super proud of you.and fuck ithttps://pastebin.com/09LTXtMFIt's me, Austin. It was me all along.
>>33941587Where's the rest? It stops at >>33941560
>>33941603There is >>33941564
>>33941603>>33941605Pluggo's a little slow, have some patience.
>>33941603 yes, I know he won't see this for several more hours, I'm just putting it here so he sees it before I wake up just before or after noon and not miss my chance. This post is most likely completely pointless, but fuck it I'm tired. 'Night horsefuckers, I love you glorious bastards.
>>33941605Meant in the pastebin.
>>33941620sorry Anon i am drunk and I fixed it probably
>>33941618no i saw it luv u bb
>>33941626pluggo sleep now and dream of cute orange fillieslove you guys for real
>>33941178Sperg out like a virgin, on purpose. Until they prove their unyielding love and loyalty
>>33941178Feel blessed. Get that injection of dopamine from love.Snuggle the cute love fluff till i keel over,Get cold feet because im not into pony vag, dripping and winking and all.
>>33941684>Great!>Fine>I diagnose you with the gay
>>33941178>Feel the blood rush to your cheeks, even the tips of your ears as well from the sincerity that comes from such a thing.>A person of feminine persuasion actually paying attention to you? >HA>Wait she's waiting for an answer.>Smile in what you hope is a charming manner, but you know deep down under all that self deception that you could cosplay as motherfucking Goofy from how silly you look.>You shrug in response.>Oh Sweet Buttery Rolls of Rolling Stone the mare has tears in her eyes!>SAY SOMETHING!"Dgyah?">THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"I mean, sure. That'd be nice, you have something in mind? I haven't really been on a date before an-">Your teeth clack shut, but not before the traitorous words have escaped you.>Oh ode to joy, surely the gods bring misfortune upon ye for being this big a faggot.>"You haven't!?" >Here we go lads, stiffen that upper lip now!>"Why that's sour pickles and Ah'll eat my own hat afore Ah'll let this, this travesty go unanswered for!" Said little mare was indeed swinging her little stetson before plonking it back on her head as she stared up at you with a fierce gaze.>"You. Me. Eight o'clock, at Punch Out. Ah promise ya'll have a grand ol' time!">Still stunned at how verbose the mare had become you nodded mutely. >With a snort of hot air the mare nodded with purpose, "Good, Ah'll see ya there then Anon.">Were you just mugged for a date?>Why does your heart feel like it's too big for your chest?>Your face is still redder than any Sweet Apple Acre produce ain't it?
>>33941776>Were you just mugged for a date?Such a qt.
>>33941702>Not liking urinal vagLet's not start this.
>>33941847I like human vag on a human and horse vag on a pony, unless it's Sunset, which is just hot
>>33941853>Sunset with horse puss>For absolutely no reason at all the mirror is able to change everything except for genitals>humans going to pony land come out as ponys, but they still have their human parts>Ponys going to the human world keep their pony parts
>>33941853Wait, human vag on horse sunset? I like the thought.The pony stink crevasse on human sunset would look bizarre if not abominate.
>>33941530How long before Anon pulls a Hans and kills Twilight, leaving himself as King of Equestria?
>>33941530>unemployment has dropped, test-scores across the kingdom have improved, and technology that had once only been seen in the big cities has been implemented in the more rural areas.>and has even been coming up with a lot of the brilliant ideas that have been being implemented across Equestria.>Anon brought the modern cancer to equestria.>Combined with Twilight's naiveity. equestria will likely be a democracy within a year.
>>33941151>Demanding virgins just to mock themPerfect
>>33941875Probably more like a Strong Man "democracy" where the leader is reelected 30 years straight. People who are accustomed to the Divine Right are not quick to change to the Consent of the Governed.I would see Twilight as being an Enlightened Monarch, optimizing for measurable factors that end in misery and blight for the people on the ground. She would need to learn that inarticulable knowledge derived from experience is vaster and more valuable than that which can be gotten from books and ledgers.Maybe Anon would be a Ron Paul libertarian, pushing for deflationary monetary policy and privatizing public services.They could balance each other out, and accidentally end up somewhere sane.
>>33941915Call me a cynic, but i feel Twilight and Anon would be too easily manipulated by the unicorn mobility.Twilight's a nerd who just wants to be friends and the typical anon isnt really a polititian.Combined with anons 'idea's which are likely just transplanted from modern day and it's a disaster waiting to happen.The rapid tech increase in the rural areas is a big red flag.
>>33941923>>33941875Would be a good continuation if, Celestia and Luna, feeling like worthless hacks, are surprised with a visit from a desperate Twilight and Anon telling them that Equestria is on the verge of a revolt and that they need their help to quell the uprising.Afterwards, when the status quo has been restored, Anon and Twilight, who never onse thought they were superior to the sisters, thanks them and admits there's still a lot they have to learn before they can run a kingdom.The eldest alicorns take over once more, and start teaching the younger pair the proper ins and outs of ruling, all the while implementing a few of the better, safer ideas that they had put in place.
>>33941923>tfw studied and worked in politics for a time>the sheer amount of boredom and constant back n fourths that went nowhere brought me so close to insanity I noped the fuck out and ran back to bankingI'll take pony politics to human politics any day, at least it'd be more interesting. Plus its a monarchy, or well, its moreso a matriarchal federal monarchy where the monarchs are all appointed god queens. I dont even think the princesses have a senate or council, just the occasional advisory at most. Even then they just hand minor jobs off to providential rulers or some such.Point being so long as the princesses or whoever they've appointed at the time to rule has absolute authority it wouldn't exactly be the hardest job in the world. Unless your helping a more local "ruler" like Mayor Mare. Who apparently chose to rule her rural village as a democracy? Ponys are weird...
>"Yes, my dear Anonymous is indeed a Chad.">"A Cooking Husband and Father."
>>33942154>FatherSHITalright RGRE, pretend that said "Dad," okay?
Previously: https://pastebin.com/UiEM3rmf>The knife against the small of your back was constant. A literal knife, not some metaphorical rubbish.>Your captor, yourself, was older than you. A little bit slower you realise, as he occasionally has to take two steps to match your own.>Still, despite the numerous questions you had for him and the no doubt thousands he should have for you, the two of you spent most of the trip in near silence. Only the sound of the early morning wind rustling through the pale grass.>The sun was a terrible blood red rising above the horizon. Anger and wrath in every sunbeam. Celestia's doing no doubt.>It was your thoughts of her that made you speak.“You know, you're facing off against a goddess. There's no way this ends well for you.”>”All things have their time.” >Your doppelgänger continued pushing you onwards, towards the east and the rising sun, until at last a shape appeared on that endless flat horizon.>There was a great and twisted tree atop a mound of dirt, its roots digging into the dirt beneath.>The branches were barren and stripped clean, devoid of life, leaf or the song of birds. Its bark had been bleached white in the sun. Even from this great distance, you could make out blood red sap dripping from open scars upon its trunk.>As if reaching out towards the sky, the branches twisted and stretched out upwards and out, spreading across the sky as if it were its own roots growing upwards.>For a moment, the red sun was behind the branches. As if the tree had begun to devour the sun.>It was a foul thing. And the two of you were heading straight towards it.>Driven ever further by the knife against you.>And for half a heartbeat, a dozen voices in your mind, all your own, are silent. Afraid. Though you could not say why, an indelible sense of dread had gripped your heart. The long shadows of that great and twisted tree reaching towards you.>Your voice barely above a whisper, you ask“What is that thing?”
>>33942193>Your captor in a reverent voice replies:>”Once it was known as “Mti wa kumbukumbu”. The tree of memories. When its leaves yet lived and its branches weren't so grasping. Now? Now it is known as “Mti wa huzuni”. The tree of sorrows.”>You swore you could hear the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, separate from the swaying of the long grass. You could hear bird song coming from that distant tree devoid of life. You could hear the echo of laughter and song.>”Can you hear it?”>Your past self asks, the knife against your spine relaxing as he spoke. “I can.”>”Long ago, their kind sat at the roots of the tree and spoke to it. Past on their collective knowledge into the bark and root, so that it might outlive them all. But...”>You can hear your captor shake his head even as you can't see him.>”Now none of them dare come near it. The memories and experiences given to it unreachable. Only the mad and ill walk into its roots, committing their sorrow and grief into eternity.”>”And from its roots, I remember.”>You think, for a moment, to run. You were likely more physically fit than this doppelgänger, being a few years younger. But he was armed. And death was no great terror to you.>The two of you walk towards it in silence. The sun rises above its terrible branches, free of its grasp and the shadows retreat towards it. But so do you. Cast always in its shadow.>You are close now. You can look up to see the eerie barren branches, can hear the echo of birdsong and joy rustling through non-existent leaves. Even particular voices now. In tones too low to hear, mumbling barely louder than the silence.>”Come.”
>>33942196>Your captor, no longer behind you with his knife against your spine, beckons you into a hole in the mound of dirt, between the bleached white roots of this ancient twisted tree.“And if I don't want to go beneath the earth?”>”You've come all this way for a reason haven't you? He told me so.”>There it was again. >He.>That unnerved you, but then again, little about this didn't unnerve you.>And so you followed yourself into the dirt.>The tunnel was unlit. With you standing in front of the entrance, you could make you little in the dark. The roof of the tunnel was low enough you nearly had to crouch to get through it.>The route it took was twisted, with turns that seemed to loop back upon themselves, climbing up or down steep ramps. Roots sprung out of the ground, walls and roof of the tunnels, causing you to have to carefully hold your hands out to feel ahead in the dark, lest you trip over them or smack into them.>You walked for what you swore was ten minutes in the dark. At a rough guess, you should have actually been back on the surface given how often you had climbed up. Heck, from the size of the mound outside you should have done that about a minute in. But here you were, still climbing or going deeper. Still crouch-walking through the dirt.>But eventually you could see an amber light at the end of the tunnel. Could make out the silhouette of the roots and stone in the tunnel. The roof began to reach higher and higher, allowing you to slowly reach stand and walk normally towards that light.>You could hear the sound of sobbing around you. Not in your voice, or in your voice from your captor. A woman's... A mare's voice?>It was a quiet thing. Barely more than a whisper. Like you were just hearing the echo.>Despite your misgivings, you walk towards the light.
>>33942199>You find yourself in a well-lit cavern. It was about one and a half times taller than you, with the tree's roots dropping from the ceiling like stalactites. There were some oil lanterns hanging from some of them. >There was crude furniture. A tree stump as a chair. A stone disk as a table. A log split in half with black and white fur on it that you guessed was a bed.>In one corner was a dying fire, its embers travelling upwards into a chimney-like hole above, but you had saw no such hole in the landscape nor smoke in the air above ground.>Your doppelgänger was stretching, clicking his back.>”That didn't use to be so painful.”>He rubbed his knees and legs as well. Clearly the crouching hadn't done him any good.“Nice place you've got here. Not as good a lair as Nightmare Moon's castle, but there's a certain rustic charm to it.”>Your copy laughs.>”Nightmare moon huh? Thanks for the spoilers.”“You won't remember it.”>He turns his gaze towards you, and his expression quickly darkens.>”No. I shall not.”“Why are you here?”>”Cosmically?”>You were really getting sick of that joke.“Yes.”>Your copy was surprised by the answer to his rhetorical question. He seemed to mull it over for a few seconds, his mouth moving to try and form some words, before he ceased attempting to.>”I am here, beneath the Tree of Sorrow, because it is a place they shall never go.”“They being the Zebras?”>It hadn't escaped your notice that he didn't actually answer your question.>”Yes. They are too afraid of the whispers and cries. Of the song that should not be heard. Superstitious idiots.”“Looking at what has become of you, maybe they were right. Living like an animal beneath the earth, only coming to the surface to hunt.”>Your past self growls beneath his breath.>”I am here to remember. To be reminded.”“And what is it that you have remembered?”>”So many things. Tell me, how many times have you died?”
>>33942204>The question surprises you for a moment, but you easily answer it.“Of the deaths I personally remember, fifteen. At a rough guess of the total, somewhere between fifty and two hundred.”>”Before now, this life of mine...”>Your copy smacks his chest with his hand.>”You have died fifty-six times. I could only guess how many lives lived, loved and died between you...”>He slowly points towards you, then begins to pull his hand back to point at his chest.>”And I.”“Death is not the end.”>”It is. It most certainly is usually.”>Your copy lowers his hand and sits down in the sole chair in the chamber. You remain standing, glancing to a simple blunt knife on the stone table. >”Do you remember your first life Anon?”>His eyes are almost pleading as they look into your own.“I believe the first was Nergüi, King of the Minotaurs. I remember his life”>Your copy laughs.>”Wrong answer. That was the first life in this world, that is true. The first time you woke up in pain in a foreign land with foreign people. But it was hardly your first life.”>He rolls his eyes.>”Perhaps I should not be surprised you have forgotten where you have come from. Tell me. What do you remember of home?”“Home?”>Home was wherever you decided it was. To you, home was Manehatten. It was a tent in Labyrinthia. It was the Palace of waters in Saddle Arabia. It was the Captain's Cabin aboard the Farseer. It was the half a dozen saloons...>More than anywhere else, it was a castle on the side of a mountain. A sunny smile. Alabaster fur and violet eyes.“Home is where I choose it.”>”No. Home is in England. In another world. Another life. Home is only two hours from our parents, one from one of our brothers.”>You have a brother?>”Home is where we belong. But despite everything we do, everything we could possibly become, all we are and all we try, we just keep waking up here.”
>>33942209>Your copy punches the ground beneath his chair.>”Here. Forgetting more and more of ourselves but the bare necessities.”“I have a brother?” >Your copy looks confused for a moment before a most terrible pity grips his features.>”All you remember of your lives here, and you have forgotten yourself? Do you even remember the face of your father?”>You try. Honestly, you do. To remember something more than snow and the dark house. But the more you reach for it, the further into the fog it goes. Beyond even you.>”You don't do you?”>Slowly, you shake your head.>”Are you truly me?”>The question confuses you, and you make that known.“Huh?”>”Are you me? We share not the same memories. We have done different things. We aren't alike in temperament or deed, in aspiration or love. In hate or sorrow? What you remember, believe and dream is different from me. Tell me Anon, would you do as I have done?”“And what is it you have done?”>”I have killed hundreds of innocents. Strong and weak, proud and humble. Young and old. All so sure of their realness. Of their purpose. All cut short.”>”Would you honestly ever do these things?”“Why? Why have you done them?”>Your copy smiles. A foul red smile.>”Why? To be remembered. Because you would never do it.”>What?>”All I did Anonymous, I did because of you.”>What?>”At first, it was simply to be remembered. When we die Anon, we are changed into a different form. Whatever makes the most sense for our actions in life. That form and name is how we are remembered.”>”This is a kinder, softer world than home. If you don't remember, our home is one of murder and violence and war.”“There is plenty of that there.”>You know from experience.>”But there was so much more. And in that darkness, it made the light shine so much greater. When there was love and peace, it was a great thing. Here it is expected.”
>>33942210>Your copy shakes his head.>”That's not relevant. The point is, this world may have monsters, but they are literal ones. It may have cruelty, but there is also justice. It has evil, but good always wins.”“How edgy of you. Shall I break out the Enya?”>”How could you dare remember some shitty band but not your own brother?”>The question and the righteous fury behind it gives you pause.>And you cannot answer.>”Anyway. If I were to live my life simply, as Zaerara had wanted, I would perhaps live a long and... If not fulfilling, content life. Oh, I would father no children, I would never truly pass on my knowledge and experiences to a new generation. But I might be content.”>”And when I die, I would be forgotten. Some Zebra would take my place. There would be nothing to remember me by. I wouldn't have been extraordinary. I'm sure you never would have tried to find me.”>Wait...>”But with all the wrong I have done, there is no way they might dare think one of their own did the things I have done. All the lives I have cut short cannot possibly be a mere animal. And even better.”>He reaches for the knife on his lap as you dive for the other one on the table.>He is quicker though, and as you slide across the table he slams the knife into your right shoulder.>You let out a cry, but unable to move your right arm. You desperately reach out with your other towards the blunter knife on the table, but your copy simply stands up and casually sweeps it off the table, far out of your reach.>He twists the knife.>”I knew you would come. That show for Celestia to make sure she would send you later. I have been waiting for this moment for a long time.”>You grit your teeth, silently screaming from the pain. >”If I had lived a normal life, you would have never found me. I would be forgotten. But now...”>He smiles.>”Now I shall live forever.”>You grit your teeth and manage to spit out“I am you, you idiot. You already do.”
>>33942211>Your copy laughs bitterly.>”Are you me? I don't see the similarity. We are not the same age, we do not look alike, we do not think the same. Act the same. Tell me, were all your lives the same? Did they all act the same, think the same, do the same?”>Your grit your teeth in pain.>”No. They were all different. And in the end, they all died, and another you took their place. We do not live forever. Not in the memory of others, not in yours. We leave no impact on the world. Our replacement does. We are nothing.”“Fuck... Off.”>You wince as you try to push yourself off the table, but your copy forces the knife in your shoulder deeper, pushing you back down.“I am you. You are me.”>”I know. I am counting on that Anonymous. I know you remember Nergüi, Emantle, Gaerian. Brightsmile, The Wanderer, Farseer and Cloudy eyes.”>You wince again as your blood drips onto the stone.“How do you know of them? Most of them come after you...”>You can almost hear the foul smile, even as you simply look into the stone.>”He has made me see.”“Who the fuck is he?”>”He is me.”“That's a...”>You cough.“That's an unhelpful answer.”>The Beast in the Long Grass, pulls out the knife in your shoulder, grabs your dead arm and flips you over onto your back, so that you are looking up at him and the ceiling. At the writhing roots of the ancient tree.>Your copy walks away, laughing quietly to himself as you take deep breathes, trying to subside the pain.>After about thirty seconds, he comes back, carrying a pot in his hands.>”Drink. This is the last of the Dreamwine I have, let it enlighten you instead of me. Drink, and be made whole.”
>>33942212>You try to struggle, to clench your mouth shut and writhe on the table. Lash out with your one working arm. But he holds down your left arm, punches you in the temple and forces the cup against your lips. The foul liquid passes your lips. Your body begins to weaken, and he lets go of your arm to stroke your neck, forcing you to swallow.>It tastes of ash. Fire. Then Ice. A thousand tastes and textures run across your tongue. And the more you are forced to drink, the stranger they become. You taste your first kiss, and the time you broke your arm. You taste your fear of death and that song you can only half remember.>”Prepare yourself Anonymous. And be made whole.”>Your vision narrows, the shadows begin to lengthen. For half a second, before the dark takes you, the face of your copy sets alight, and his right eye begins to leak pus.>One moment you are here.>And the next, you are gone.~#~>In eternity, where there is no time. Nothing can grow. Nothing can become. So death created time, to grow the things that it will kill. And you are reborn. But into that same life that you have always been born into.>You snap awake with those words running through your head.>You find yourself in Canterlot. In your room in the castle. You blink your eyes, touch your body.>It feels different, yet familiar.>Old.>You feel old.>You hear a knock on your chamber door. A slow doom drum against the gold painted oak.>With every terrible knock, the colour and warmth and light begins to drain out of your surroundings. The shadows lengthen.>You look to that door, dread gripping your heart. “Come in!” You shout in anger, demanding that the presence beyond the threshold makes itself known. That it shows itself to you rather than hide away.>But the knocking never ceases.>Doom>Doom>Doom
>>33942215>You refuse to cower before a simple noise. Gripping a support next to your bed, throwing aside the pills and water on the bedside table, you force yourself to get to your feet.>To stand. >The colour has gone now, the room a cold grey.>But you ignore it. Stepping slowly but surely towards the door. >Doom>Doom>Doom>Your steps matching the terrible drum.>Your withered and almost skeletal hand finds itself gripping the door handle. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself, before opening the door.>The knocking stops only as you open it.>Open it, to find only darkness behind. Only the void. >You glance back, towards the fading light of your room. Slowly, it begins to match the void before you.>You shake your head. And confidently step into the dark.>You fall. For only a moment, but the sensation of your organs being pulled back hurts. There is no wind against your face. No sound of rushing air. Were it not for that foul feeling, you would not be certain you were falling.>Eventually you fall into water. Cold and dark. You keep sinking, no matter how much you struggle to swim upwards.>Some measure of strength and youth returns to you, but it is not enough against the force of gravity, and the pull of the depths. >In the dark water, you begin to make out shapes.>Ponies and horses. Griffons and Minotaurs. Yaks and Dragons. All their faces and distinguishing features blank. Yet in your heart of hearts, you knew each one.>Gaikhaltai and Khuchtei. Mirror Sheen and Zaerara. Longshore and hundreds of others. All drowned. All dead.>You look down, further into the depths.>And there in the dark, two familiar shapes begin to emerge. Large shapes, with horns and wings both. One a dark blue, the other a brilliant off white.>Celestia and Luna. Both drowned. Both dead.>You try to shout out to them uselessly, but water fills your lungs. You begin to struggle. You close your eyes.
>>33942216>You throw up the saltwater in your lungs. You're on all fours, your hands digging into dirt.>You wearily open your eyes.>No. Only a single eye opens.>Sure enough, you're on all fours in the dirt.>After throwing up the last of the saltwater in your lungs, you push your arms up and kneel.>As you look up, the smell of ash and fire smacks against your nose.>Burning grass surrounds you. You look around, but that is all you can see around you.>But it is not all that there is.>Before you stands a twisted ancient and burning tree. Its branches black with soot and ash. You think for a moment it is a autumnal tree, but what you thought were amber leaves was actually fire, roaring in its branches. In its grasp.>You look back down, and now all of a sudden there is a figure sat in the roots of this great tree.>He looks like you. Older than you are now.>Half of his face has melted away. His hair a blazing fire. He stares at you with his one good eye, and much to your expectation, speaks with your voice.>”Here again are we?”>You stand up, defiant.“Here I am.”>He moves to stand, ash dropping from his shoulders and clothes.>Trailing behind him like a cloak as he moves towards you.>”All paths lead here. Beneath a burning tree. But you have been here before.”“This is how I die? The me currently watching me have a seizure on a stone table?”>The figure nods.>”At the root of the tree he lives beneath, burning. But he's always known that.””What is going on?”>”Time is a flat circle. There is no beginning or end, and shall simply repeat itself. We know that better than anyone else. Our lives pointlessly repeating themselves only to be forgotten and restarted.”“I remember. Celestia remembers. Luna remembers. Candance and Twilight remember.”>”You still die. You are replaced by a copy.”“Fuck off.”
>>33942219>You stand up.“I'm not afraid of being forgotten. I wouldn't be even if I forgot as well or even if I never awoke again.”>”You're lying. I know you as I know myself. You were afraid on that roof of the castle, with a hole in your chest.”“No, I'm not. No, you don't. I wasn't afraid on that balcony, with the rays of the sun of my face.”>”You wouldn't be here if you weren't afraid. You want to remember. Afraid of letting go and forgetting yourself. So desperate to try and hold onto yourself. To fight against the dark.”“Is that so?”>”I knew you would come. I told myself about this conversation we are currently having. Long ago. I told him what I and you would both say. It is inevitable. As all things are.””So. Why? Why make yourself mad and do these terrible things? How many have you killed?”>” Seventy-four.”“And why?”>”To bring you to me. To make you remember me.”>Your eyes widen.>”Like I told you. If I had just been a normal man, I would never have become infamous. I would be forgotten. And you would never have to here to try and remember.”>You almost laugh in exasperation.“All that death. All that cruelty, just so I would come here?”>”Yes. We had to be sure.”>You laugh out loud, the noise echoing over the burning grass. >You wipe a tear from your eye as your copy glares at you with the one eye not destroyed by fire.“You dumb cunt.”>”What?”>You laugh again.“Fuck me. If you knew about me eventually trying to discover my past lives, why didn't you just write a letter to Celestia or something? Heck, maybe you could've just tried to find them yourself.”>”Because...”>The burnt man pauses.>”Because...”“You drove yourself mad with all this talk of inevitability and the void, of being forgotten and the pointlessness of his life all for nothing.”>You laugh, the only response you have.“You fucking moron.”>Your copy snarls.
>>33942220>”Don't...”>He calms himself.>”It doesn't matter now. You are here. You shall watch my death and remember all my life. And I shall become a part of you. You will become me. I shall live forever and be remembered forever.”>You shake your head.“No.”>Your copy growls again.>”What?”>You shake your head.“No. I'm just going to wait to bleed out. Or I'm just going to let you die unforgotten. You're not winning this. I'll leave you to burn.”>You smile to yourself, then smirk at him.“You are not me.”>For a moment, his eye glows with fire, before he smirks.>”Then I shall have to play my trump card.”>He clicks his finger.>”Do you wish to remember home? Your life before you got here? Your family? Your friends? Your first and only true life?”>You pause.>”I had a feeling you may reject me. So I used this spirit world to entrap your memories of your past. It is not time or Alzheimer or the limits of your memories that made you forget. It was me.”“What?”>”Why do you think even when you remember Nergüi's life you still couldn't remember? He was the first of us after all.”“You remember?”>”I remember. And I am your only chance to remember home.”>You look into his eye, where the fire had smothered the natural green. He looked back.>Home.>Home?>Home was here.“No. I've moved on.”>”You can't!” >”You're leaving them to die forgotten! You're damning them to the void!”>You glance down a the floor, then back to him.“No. You are. They've been gone for a long time. I shall never get them back. And I'm fine with that. I have to move on. No point dwelling on the past forever.”>You look to the burning tree, to his scarred and melted face. To the anger and fury and bitterness.“Unlike you, I have a future.”>”No! No no no no...”>You turn away from the barely living corpse of a man. Walking into the burning grass. >It feels warm. Like the rays of a sunrise. Like her.
>>33942224~#~>You awaken on the table.>”Now you know.”>Now you know.>”Will you remember?”>You start to move off the table. >If that was his future self in that hallucination, he can't be allowed to know you have no intention of remembering him as you had the others.“I will remember this moment. Let me go, and I'll talk Celestia into letting you live.”>Your copy is confused for a moment.>”Really?”“I know I shall remember you, but do you really want to die burning as he did?”>The mention of him convinces your copy.>”Right. No, I don't. Of course, I shall just have to look like him when I appear for me later.”>What a fucking confusing sentence.“Sure.”>You clutch your dead arm in your free hand. Maybe you can get it healed.>”You think you'll be able to convince her to spare me? After all... After all I've done?”>You can hear the regret and sorrow in his voice, and again as it echoes through the roots.“I do.” You lie. “But I have to go alone.”>He nods his head.>”I'm glad. I was so afraid.”>He says that almost as a whimper.“Don't be. You are me.”>But you are not him. And never shall be.>He smiles. You want to plunge a knife into him yourself, but that is not how this ends. The past is already written, and nothing can change it. There is only the future.>”I'll just bandage you up and lead you out of here. She should find you easily enough once you get away from the tree's reach.”~#~
>>33942227>You look back at him as he waves to you. So sure he shall get away with everything he did.>Fuck him.>You walk into the long grass, your right arm throbbing in dull pain.>It may be you might never be able to use that arm again until you die. And you are reborn.>The sun is beginning to set ahead of you. The sky turning a brilliant scarlet. >Taking in the majesty of the sky, you whisper and admit something to yourself.“I love it.”>You smile as you walk and close your eyes as the last rays of the sun warm your face again.>”This is good.”>When you open your eyes again, you have travelled far. The sky is dark, the moon and the mare within it hanging in the sky. The stars spread out in a grand display of light and dark.>The same Stars that were there five hundred years ago. And that shall be there in five hundred years time. Back home.>You can hear the sound of wings. You come to a stop and wait. Looking up, you see Celestia, her wings wide, lit by the moon behind her. She looks beautiful.>She lands in front of you, a suspicious look in her eye.>”Are you...” She asks.>You remove your eyepatch, to show the void beneath.“I am Anon. Not the beast.”>She sighs with relief.>”I was worried. You were gone a while.”“Thanks.”>”So... Why aren't you dead? How are you here before me?”>You smile at the question.“He thinks that I want to remember who he was. He thinks I am going to convince you to let him go.”>Celestia's expression darkens.>”If you think...”>You shake your head. Your objective clear. The real reason Celestia had sent you back.“No. I don't. You and I are going to kill that son of a bitch.”
>>33942229And that's it for now! I think we have just two or three more grand updates left, and then we are done! Glad to leave it off there, sorry it's pretty trippy. Cya soon hopefully
>>33942232Gonna be sad when this story ends, but you've done some good work. Don't keep us waiting too long.
>>33942236Hopefully not. I'm glad this wasn't three weeks/ a month, but sorry it was the day after. Honestly, next update probably be some time mid-week next week. So, like, seven threads from now.
>>33942232pardon my slow ass brain. the one in the vision is the Beast at the end of his life or am I missing something?Either way, intersting aproach of making the monster be a monster out of fear, out of terror..because he doesnt know what else to do.
>>33942240Yep. It shall all be explained and wrapped up next update, then we have Celestia/Anon resolution in the last two (lets face it, probably two) updates.
Reminder not to herd with some soft cocked mushy!3d stallions are not important.
>>33941564I liked this very much. I'd love to read about the date.
>>33942232Is this story even rgre?
>>33942245>Posts an itty bitty unreadable thumbnail Yeah, ok, let me just pull out my 50X magnification glasses
>>33942255It has been if you've been reading from the start.
>>33942255Not really. It was initially, then it sort of got away from me.
>>33941858>Date Sunset>She removes her pants>Two meaty horse pussy lips and a winking clit greet youMy nigga.
>>33942258Let me just get my jeweler's kit and grab the magnifying eye-piece.
>>33942286>RGRE is full of Jewelers, Watchmakers and people identifying heresy
>>33942211>>”How could you dare remember some shitty band but not your own brother?”kek
>>33942300Depends. How shitty was the brother?
>>33942245Here's the full non breezie-sized image, since it seems you're so braindead you can't even do a simple google search
>>33942290>Identifying heresy: Accurate results with simple tools
>>33942316>This image is pretty commonly shared on the horse-internet, along with a chart comparing the number of partners a stallion has had with the rate of a happy and healthy herd>Stallionists fucking hate it
>>33941776AJ is a good mare.>>33942232I think he already remembered he was from England but at least he knows he had a brother. But he's right his home is with Celly and he's already gained a sister in Luna. He needs nothing more and those plotholes will be forgotten. An excellent existential update La-Phantoma. I eagerly await the next one.
>>33941776>>"You haven't!?" >>Here we go lads, stiffen that upper lip now!>>"Why that's sour pickles and Ah'll eat my own hat afore Ah'll let this, this travesty go unanswered for!" Said little mare was indeed swinging her little stetson before plonking it back on her head as she stared up at you with a fierce gaze.>>"You. Me. Eight o'clock, at Punch Out. Ah promise ya'll have a grand ol' time!">You are Applejack, and you make sure to count your lucky stars on your way back to the farm.>That sweet hoo-man colt hasn't ever been out on a date before - that means he's a virgin!>What a relief, since Granny would tan your hide for bringing home a whore to marry.>Frankly, this just strengthens your belief that you and Anon were made for each other.
>>33941646Look at Rarity.>when your husbando is as pure as the driven snow
>>33942232That was a trip. I still feel kind of sorry for the Beast.
reminderherds are for the benefit of all involved
>>33942413>ywn spend your day keeping the house clean, making sure your young foals don't kill themselves (while giving them lots of attention), and finally cooking dinner for your mares when they come home from work>ywn collapse in a pile of ponies who all love you very very much>ywn be just about to drift off to sleep, only to be jolted awake by your foals jumping onto your bed-nest and curling up against you
>>33942264Then go put it in Fimfiction or AnonIE general.
>>33939589Alrighty, I had some pressure on me today, so apologies in advance if anything's off.Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/SQvvTXvq---------->Learning all the tricks and routines of a single dad has been taking its toll on you.>Be Anon.>Be mentally exhausted but happy.>Be wrapped up in a kite string as if you were the spool.“S-Summer! Stop flying that wa-aaa-augh!” You yelp as you fall, the little filly accidentally pulling you off of your feet after doing the aforementioned wrapping up.>You have found out that a dog harness like handmade piece of clothing, attached to a kite string, allows you to let Summer fly around and pull her back to safety.>And boy, does she love flying!>After that picnic three weeks ago, she’s been flying almost nonstop! >Her sippy-cup has been changed to one with a straw, which she uses pretty much like a hummingbird.>She really only lands now to sleep. >Which she prefers to do in your front pocket: You have made an order for a dozen new shirts with the front pocket and Rarity delivered just in one day!>Summer’s growth was considered as well, these pockets are larger and more sturdier.>In these weeks you received other things besides the shirts though.>From that mystery gifter you… kinda have an idea who they could be.>Just the other day Skittles had a fangasm spewed at you - to your dismay - about a Wonderbolt airshow being held in this backwater town for some fake sounding reason.>She was really fast in dropping her whole ‘marely mare’ attitude when Summer buzzed into the conversation, quite literally, and booped her nose.>Heh, teaching her to do that to ponies that talk to you was great, you’ve had the best two weeks ever since settling down in Ponyville.>Alright, having your Little Boop around certainly lifts the mood, but… yeah, not much to explain.>On another note, things have been happening with the friends of Pride Month mane.
>>33942428>Though you were never really interested in these things, they were doing adventures and became celebrated heroes.>All the same to you.>Only if their heroics didn’t involve destroying the town, like Superman in that crappy movie.>This brings you back to the present, picking yourself up from the ground and continuing your walk towards work.>All the flying around tired Summer out, allowing you to spool up the kite string while she rests in your pocket.>Before you know it, you are standing in front of the... missing storefront of Quills and Sofas.“God… dammit.” You sigh, looking at the damage.>Davenport is standing next to you, looking like he has seen not a ghost, but a whole marching band of ghosts in full gear and playing his funeral song.>”My… store… my living! Everything!” He whispers, probably trying to scream it but only able to speak on the border of inaudibility.>The storefront took the brunt of the magic blast, yes, but the sofas, counter… even the quills, all of them have been damaged.“Dave, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” You ask, trying to push him out of his stupor while also being helpful.>The shocked stallion blinks a couple times, tears forming in his eyes.>”I… I don’t know, Anon. There… there’s a lot to do. I… I-I-I will go to the Mayor with this. You can have the day off… it’s not like we can sell anything now anyway.” He replies and turns to leave, but not before you pat him on the head. >He stops for a moment, looks up into your eyes... then rears up on his hindlegs and hugs you tightly.>”My store, my lovely stooore…” He whines.>You gently pat his back and pet his mane to calm him down.
>>33935711How would Applejack react if I ate a big, juicy, apple, in the most seductive way possible? Sucked the juices in everything?
>>33942429>You will never get used to this switched up gender roles bullshit, but alas, you are the alien in this world, not the other way around.“Shhh, shhh, it’s alright Dave. Let it out, let it all out.” You soothe him, trying to get as little attention on the two of you as possible.>However, it’s not your lucky day either, the destruction that befell on the town has brought most ponies outside, and their attention quickly settles on the friendly neighbourhood alien and his employer having a somber moment in front of their destroyed store.>”Hey… look at them.” One mare says not so quietly to another.>Aren’t they the flower sisters?...>”Huh? Oh. Heh. Husband material right there~!” The other mare replies, making you feel… violated?“Right, this is how women must feel all the time back home.. Ugh…” You mutter to yourself, wishing for some divine intervention to pull you from this sorry situation.>Your wish is granted in the form of Summer poking her cute, bow adored little head from the nest-pocket.>Davenport’s crying must have awakened her from her birdy nap.>She lets out a little peep, which quickly brings forth two changes in the situation.>First, Dave quiets down, letting you go and apologizing for being so emotional.>Second, the onlooker mares disperse, the little filly probably reminding them of something important, whatever that may be.“Alright Dave, I will be on my way then.” You tell him, giving his head one last pat-pat.>”Yes, good, good. Go ahead. And… sorry for the… Uh...” He motions around with his right forehoof, pointing at the wet spots on your shirt.>He wiped his tears into your shirt at some point.“Goddammit Dave.”---------->Be excited.>Be afloat in the clouds in joy.>Quite literally, too!>Be Summer’s mom, who will find a way to redeem herself!>It took you some work, asking for favors, pulling some strings, but you did it.
>>33942434>You will go to Ponyville and you will surely meet your daughter!>Without stalking, without hiding, without heartache this time.>The only thing you have to do is prepare for a flashy show, aimed to entertain kids, and then make sure to have an autograph booth ready.>Your plan is foolproof.>There is nothing that could go wrong!>A yell interrupts your thoughts.>”Boss? Boss!” It’s one of your errand fillies.“What, what is it?” You yell back, poking your head through the cloud you were resting atop.>”We just got the news, Ponyville was hit by a BGoTW!” The faded lavender colored pegasus mare replies, flying up to you.>Barely a mare though, her primaries are still short, unlike yours!“Uh… BGoTW?” You ask back, confused.>Since when did they implement the use of such abbreviation?...>”Uhm, yes? Bad Gal of The Week?” The errand filly answers, as if this was the most obvious thing.“Alright, and why should I be concerned about it then?”>”Well, we gotta delay the show, that’s why. But I gotta go now, the other officers hasn’t been told yet!” The errand filly tells you, and without waiting for as much as a peep from you, she flies away.“Oh pony feathers…”----------And that's it for today. Weekend is coming up so I have no idea if I will be able to write. We will see.If there are any ideas suggestions, I'm open for them!
>>33941178>Play off her compliments with self-deprecating insults>Continue doing so until I realise she's serious>Probably hyperventilate and lock myself in my house for a day or two before coming back out
>>33942436Gee, I wonder who this mystery mare could possibly be.
>>33942428Take your time, friend. Don't rush the final product if you don't need to.That said... Fuck yes, birbpones!
>>33942463Well Anon certainly has his own theories. Blue Fast acts really out of character around Summer, which is really suspicious for him!
>>33942490>turns out to be Flutters>4d chess intensifies
>>33942431>"Keep it together, Jackie.">"Don't wink in front of Granny Smith.">"Remember what she taught you: it's rude to tackle nice colts to the ground and then rape them in front of your family."
>>33942463>It's Lightning Dust
>>33942436I like thing
>>33942345Snow is made for treading
>>33942523>MMMM>So Juicy>I think ill eat out the bottom and top>Ohhh godd that's tasty
>>33941622Dubs and based.>>33941623 Luv u 2 no homo.
>>33942533That is one pretty mare. But why does she always make this face when I hug her?
>This was probably the place that you were looking for, but you really hope it wasn't.>Especially considering the front of the castle was just a giant skull carved into the glaciers front.>It would have been great if Celestia gave you some instructions as to who or what you were looking for, but nope.>You're just the 'faithful student' who has to go and figure it all out.>And right now you need to figure out what that horrible smell is.>It could be due to all the odd wooden posts stuck in the bathroom walls, but you get the feeling that was more some odd joke.>You had seen some labs which were...less than savory, and you could see something glowing a bright green deep beneath the ice under your hooves.>You shiver as a chill washes over you.>Your books had recomended a certain amount of clothing for a trip this far north, but you're starting to think it's not quite enough.>It certainly didn't help that any spell to warm you up resulted only in a sad trombone noise.>Which was both infuriating and intriguing, considering the logistics of negating the spell and then casting another spell at the first casters location.>You turn a corner and see a pair of absolutely massive icy doors covered in runes and marks the likes of which you had never seen.>You lose yourself for a moment as you look at the inscriptions from either a lost civilization or the workings of a singluar, mad witch.>There was so much, you could easily spend days finding everything there was to be seen.>But what really stood out to you was the sign in the middle of the door."No soliciting? Who's going to come all the way out here try and sell something?">You shake your head and push against the door, which slides smoothly and silently open.>There was nothing in the room save for a throne at the far end and some kind of pedestal at the center.>It's something, you suppose.>You trot forward, looking at the pedestal.>Is that?>It is!
>>33942637>You squeel and break into a full gallop towards the scrying orb.>There were two, now three, of these in existence and it was absurdly difficult to create more.>You may have to go through those other rooms and see if there were any clues as to how this one was made, or if was simply obtained from another source.>You could just->No, you have a job to do.>You sigh and look back at the throne.>Which somepony was sitting in.>Oh.>You really hope they didn't hear you squeel like a colt a second ago."H-hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?">Silence."Um, I might have been sent to look for you. Princess Celestia-">CRACK>You stumble back and take to the air as the ice beneath you cracks."What the-">The clanking of metal draws your attention, making you look at what is most certainly not a pony getting out of the throne.>You look between the ice and the armored creature as it slowly walks towards the scrying orb."E-excuse me. Your castle seems to have some structural issues. We might want to get out of here before this place comes down on our heads.">You get no reply as the tall creature picks up the orb, its solid black surface slowly shifting to reveal Celestia and Luna in their throne room."Uh, yes. That's-hey!">You watch in horror as the creature tosses the invaluable object to the floor, shattering it to a thousand pieces."Why would you do that?! You could have probably bought a town with that! Not to mention the potential knowledge that could have been learned through using it!">Once again, you recieve no reply as the creature steps forward, light and ice bending at its every step.>It waits for a moment as the small whirlwind stabilizes into a portal, allowing you to see a shocked Celestia and Luna.>The creature steps through and, deciding you don't want to be stuck here, you follow after it.>The portal slams shut with a boom and the creature finally speaks.
>>33942638>"Nyah, She-Mare! I have conquered Castle Grayskull and now I shall conquer-wait. This isn't Canterlot. Where are we?">Is this thing a colt?>Celestia chuckles behind a hoof as Luna shakes her head.>"You always did have to make an entrance. We are in a New Canterlot, Anonymous.">"What was wrong with the last one?">"Let's just say that Tia and I had a fight.">One of the creatures claws comes up to rub at its chin under its helmet.>"So does that mean I get the old one? Because it had some bitchin' secret passages and shit.">He points down at you while still looking at the sisters.>"Also, can I keep this one as a minion? She doesn't seem like a complete idiot.""Hey!">Celestia chuckles a bit more before putting her hoof down.>"If she so chooses to learn from you that is her choice, but I wanted to talk to you about another matter.">"It's about dead people, isn't it?">"No. It's about family.">The creature goes very still, and it is at this point you notice that the air around him is emitting a chilling aura.>"Celestia-">"I know things got a little messy at the end of that era, but I believe I have found two of your descendents.">"A little messy is an understatement. And how could you possibly be sure they're mine?">At this, Celestia smiles.>"Because they have your magical signature. Or at least the foal does. She exudes that necrotic aura just as you do and after doing a bit more poking, I can feel it coming from her mother too.">Anonymous drums his armored claw on his hip before nodding.>"I'll see them. What are their names?">"Cadence and Flurry Heart. Twilight here is actually the aunt to little Flurry.">Your mind is going a mile a minute as Anonymous looks down at you.>"Hey. Your niece might be related to a lich. How do you feel about that?""I don't know?">"That's a good answer. Let's go meet these two."
>>33942643set course for SHENANIGANS
>>33942264Not that Anon. I've been following since the very first post. It's RGRE enough for me. He's beeing "finding" himself so it stands to reason the RGRE setting doesn't stand out so much right now.
>>33942643I sense fun in the near future.
>>33942643>Flurry Heart accidentally raising her pet goldfish from the dead or infusing her snail plushie with a soul
>>33942643>how do you feel about that>i dont know>good answerI'm liking this, moar.>>33942842>flurry accidentally turns the crystal heart into a communal phylactry for the entire empire.>lich anon is the proudest undead grandfather this side of the living.
>>33942413I love that pic. I seemed to misplace the link to the story it was inspired by. Anyone got a copy?>>33942436Aww, poor Dave. Anon might try to deny it but he and Dave a good friends. I wouldn't be surprised if one of Dave's mares gets some thing for Anon & Summer for being supportive of Dave & the store. Oh! Maybe they try to set Anon up on a blind date. You know, because "he needs the support of a mare". Wouldn't it be funny if said blind date is Summer's mom? Speaking of; I know it's been lightly covered but I want to know more about her and WHY she left Summer with Anon. What was her thought process because she's clearly feeling guilty about it. And who's the father? Did Summer's mom already know Anon? Is this one of the clues that's raised Anon's suspicions on the mother's identity? Take your time famalam. I look forward to the next update.>>33942643>"Also, can I keep this one as a minion? She doesn't seem like a complete idiot."Hearty kek.This sounds like it could be fun.
>>33942958Well my friend, I cannot say much without going into spoiler territory, so I will just say this: You will see everything in due time.
>Pegasi are big on tradition>That's why they build nests out of blankets and pillows - not birb instinct>Pegasi are big on giving each other plenty of room on the ground and in the air - this comes from how if you cuddle while you're trying to fly, you fall to your death>So, pegasi will cuddle much less frequently than other races, and it is very significant when one pegasus cuddles another>In fact, pegasi have a certain amount of disdain for "ground-walkers" because neither earth ponies nor unicorns put that much significance on cuddling and do it much more frequently than pegasi, who see it akin to having a really sloppy make-out session in the middle of the street>Anon almost gets into trouble with the local pegasi because he got friendly with a pegasus mare, and apparently she got her scent on him>That's almost as good as marriage for a pegasus, and a bunch of them got angry at Anon getting as allegedly intimate as he did before backing out>Now, Anon's mail is routinely late, and he can't get any reliable weather (good or bad) in the area around his house.>Rainbow's status as Bearer of Loyalty is the major thing that keeps her friendly with him, and she's willing to make excuses for his behaviour.>"C'mon, you gals. He's an alien from a whole 'nother culture. And on top of that, he's kind of an air-headed ditz. Cut him some slack.">>"You're just saying that because that whore cuddles with you.">"...he's not a whore.">Fluttershy can't look Anon in the eye anymore, and her wings POMF out like a pair of feathery umbrellas whenever he's around>"I c-can't believe how.... how l-lewd Anon is...">Anon just wanted a hug, and now about a third of the population of Ponyville think he's a slut.
>>33941178I would kneel down in front of her, put my hands on both her cheeks and make her stare into my eyes. I would then ask her "Are you okay, did you hit your head or did a spell go wrong, did another poison-joke incident happen?" ..."Why else would you ever want to interact with me on any level beyond platonic? I'm just being honest, why would you ever want anything to do with this mental physical and emotional train-wreck of a person?"
>>33943071Now the real question is, does she love you enough to want to continue despite this non-standard response that indicates that things are a bit fucky, or will she do the expected thing and immediately back off and pretend this never happened?>"Darling, can we... pretend to each other that this encounter did not occur?"
>>33942463She should make it up to Anon by having really angry anal sex.
>>33943107>Implying she wouldn't be concerned about who hurt you to make you feel that way and then make it her mission to help your self confidence.She may not want you romantically after that kind of response, but she's definitely the type to help you as a friend.
>>33943071I would probably just ask her."This is a dare isn't it?">>33943129The comment did say platonic.
Can someone spoonfeed me some twilight greens?
>>33943107>can we... pretend to each other that this encounter did not occur?>Nation shocked as human found dead in home. Cause of death still being determined.>It was suicide, but ponies don't have a word for it or even understand the concept initially
>>33943215>Anon found hung>Ponies conclude that this is why you're supposed to let your mares build things for you instead of letting an incompetent stallion try to put something like a deck together>"See? Anon was trying to set up a tire swing, but had an accident. This is why you leave the DIY stuff to your mares."
>>33943231>The fragile, lighthearted atmosphere is shattered when the note is found.>'I'm done. I'm a failure in two worlds so hopefully I stay dead this time.' >... This isn't an accident?
>>33943215>We asked a local businessmare and acquaintance for her comments on the issue>"Well, honestly, it's...probably for the best."
>"Who are you and why aren't you putting children in me and cooking my dinner, you beautiful man.""...Hello?">"Why don't you come over and get a proper hello, cutie.""Why are you pretty much naked?">"I like to let the girls breath. With tits as big as mine you gotta let them hang out a bit, you know.""No. No do not.">"Well, you might if I have anything to do with it. The name's Sunset. Sunset Shimmer. Also known as the best, coolest girl in school. What's your name you walking cock?""I'm Mr. Anonymous, the new math teacher. Your math teacher if I recall correctly, Ms. Shimmer.">"...Shit.""Shit is right. Here, take this note to the principal. I'm sure she'd be happy to hear about your shenanigans. I'd hurry if I were you, I'm giving the class a pop quiz."
>>33943402I would have to smother my initial reaction to smother my face in her tits.
>>33943402Unf, that is one of the best Shimmy pics I have ever seen.I like the prompt. I could see this as a "Wooing of Mr. Anonymous" RomCom. Maybe another take on "Don't Stand So Close To Me" but with Sunset & Anon.
>>33942232well now. never assumed i'd get the deep think from horsewords on the internet. normally i hate time travel since it fucks with causality so much, but i think you've done it well. it's nice to be present for a good green like this from start to finish for once instead of having to play catch up
>>33942436>>”We just got the news, Ponyville was hit by a BGoTW!” The faded lavender colored pegasus mare replies, flying up to you.alright so summer's mother has been narrowed down to a wonderbolt. reasonably sure it's spitfire, but fleetfoot is also a possible contender as well as RD. also is anon done trying to keep Summer a secret?
>>33943647>picFleetfoot a cute. We need more greens with her.To answer your question, weeks has passed in the story, so it's inevitable for the secret to be found out. To save my sanity, I decided against writing more interactions with Pinkie, but if you wish for that, in the next update I can include a flashback of that moment of discovery.That will take more time though.
>>33943678>if you wish for thatdoesn't matter to me, just in the future, if there's a timeskip like that it's a good idea to indicate that in some way
>>33943728Very well then! I will think of something, and thank you for the suggestion.
>>33943071These would be my thoughts but I wouldn't say it aloud.
>>33943402Yes please. More hot for teach Shimmer.
>>33943402I find myself questioning how Sunset could have fucked up like this. Is Anon one of those really young looking teachers that get mistaken for students whenever they aren’t dressed professionally?
>>33943402>Tfw you'll never be hit on by students and faculty alike.>Tfw the heart eyes phenomena extends to EGirls and you'll never get to experience it
>>33943978>Flutter's is a big culprit for having heart eyes when Anon is around.
>>33943978>>33944000Well they're basically legally married to Anon at that point, frankly. And he can't get in trouble (as if he would in RGREqG, but still) fucking students if those students are wed to him, can he?
>>33941178I'd regress back into a little kid and cry my eyes out. I'd then hope to feel her comforting me with a warm hug and hear her say everything is okay and I am safe now.
https://yuki.la/mlp/33188812 Reverse Gender Roles Equestria 11/18/18(Sun)Can anyone point me to the next one please? I'd appreciate.
>>33944245https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33220900/#q33220900Can't find it on yuki, not familiar with it. Sorry.
>>33944258[Still working on that comfy Sunset and Anon short green. I'm about 800 words in already/spoiler]
Reminder that if you don't have a hot meal and a warm lap ready for your hard-working mare for when she gets back home from work, you're a bad husbando.
>>33944299Oral is important too, it makes them feel appreciated
>>33943402At least she didn't try to hit on the School Reaource Officer.
>>33944367That happens after you rub their ears, run your fingers through their mane, and give them scritches all over.
>>33944397Don't forget to run your hand through their tuft, have to be safe to make sure your mares are kept nice and happy. Nothing like tuft petting to make a mare melt in your lap.
>>33943978Phew, thank goodness. I don't know if I'd be able to deal.
>>33944367>>33944397>>33944449I imagine there are books for this kind of thing, like those like those women's etiquette manuals that we used to have long ago. Surprisingly, a lot of them were a lot less sexist than you might think.
>>33944245>>33944258I'd say use both yuki and desuarchive. If you can't find it in one, you can probably find it in the other. And if you find the OP post number, you can probably throw that into the link you want, like this https://yuki.la/mlp/33220900
>>33944467>You are Anon, and you've got yourself a copy of Stallion's Etiquette.>It's a manual for creatures of the male persuasion so that they can act... adequately masculine.>Or, something like that."Okay, alright...">You heft the book a few times in your hands, trying to get the feel for the weight of it.>It's heavier than you thought it'd be."Let's get a good look at this shit.">You flip this bad boy onto its back and open it up, skimming through the the first few useless pages (special thanks, table of contents, etc) to get to the official page one.>Which, as it turns out (you counted, thank you) is on page twenty-three.>Not like you're going to actually, y'know, DO anything this book tells you you should be doing.>But a birthday present is a birthday present, and you'd feel bad if you didn't at least put forth the effort for a few weeks.>And not to mention that if you don't, Caramel will bitch and moan for MONTHS that you don't appreciate what he gets you."Because 'Cooter-Magnet Caramel' is just drowning in pussy," you snark, lips curled in a snarl, "Mister personality himself has to beat the mares off with a stick - all because he read this shitty manual before giving it to me.">Good god, let's just get this over with."Alright. Jeez. 'Do unto others as you would others should do to you.' " you recite, voice sounding bored even to your ears, " 'You can never be rude if you bear the rule always in mind, for what gentleman likes to be treated rudely?' ">You grab the pages and skim ahead a bit more."Right, fuck this.">You land on page... 284."Chapter five - Evening parties. Etiquette for the host. 'Always date your note of invitation, and put your address in one corner.' ">You lean back in your chair, head lolling until you're facing the ceiling.>This is worse than reading some boring history textbook from back in high school.>Specifically, the parts of it that the history class isn't even covering.
>>33944524>This is dryer than Caramel's dick - because he's getting so little sex from using this guide that it isn't even going to be funny.>...well, it'll be funny to YOU.>But you guess it won't be funny to HIM.>So that counts for what it does, you guess.>You swing the book around until it's closed and you've got it gripped as though you're about to throw a frisbee... but stop.>You drop the book down onto your lap - the clap of book on lap is the sound of defeat."Oh, god," you groan, face in your hands, "He's going to bitch SO MUCH if I don't read this.">You steel yourself and try again.>Page 600."Chapter twenty-six - miscellaneous.">Thank christ.>Finally, some every-day advice that doesn't necessitate...>You skip to the table of contents real quick...>...guests, ballroom hosting, and writing letters."Okay, let's take some of this seriously. 'Never read in company. You may open a book to look over the engravings, if you will, but do not attend to the letter-press until you are alone.'">What; you're not allowed to read?"Yeesh, that won't win me any favours with Twilight.">What's the next one?" 'Never speak of gentlemare by their first name unless you are related to them. It is very unstallion-like to use the surname, without the prefix, Ms. To hear a gentleman speak of Star, Blanket, Aura, instead of Ms. Aura or Ms. Star sounds extremely vulgar, and is a mark of low breeding.' ">...excuse you."That won't win me any favours with MISS SPARKLE.">Goodness, how low-bred of you." 'Avoid personal remarks; they evince a want of judgment, good taste, kindness, and politeness. To exchange glances or significant smiles with a third person, whilst engaged in a conversation with a second, is a proof of low-breeding. Suppressed laughter, shrugging of the shoulders, rolling of the eyes, and significant glances are all marks of ill-breeding.' "
>>33944526>Aaaaand you guess you can't hang around Pinkie Pie ever again.>That mare once made you laugh so hard you sprayed chocolate milk out of your nose."This book is cutting the number of ponies I'm allowed to hang out with in half.">They're dropping like flies." 'If you meet a gentlemare at the foot of a flight of stairs, do not go up before her. Stop, bow, and motion to her to precede you. She will return your bow, and run up, leaving you to follow her.' ">You look up from your book and glance around your cottage.>...your one-story cottage."Fuck this.">You lean back carelessly in your couch and toss the book away.>You hear it clatter... somewhere; you don't really care, and you don't plan to look for it."I'll just buy Caramel some cheesecake if he gets uppity. That chubby little horse LOVES his cheesecake.">You guess you won't be a classy 'stallion' any time soon.>Oh, well.>You heave yourself up from your couch and walk towards the front door."...I'm gonna go see if Rainbow Dash feels like egging MISS SPARKLE's library again.">That mare's always good for a fun time.
>>33944467That's because being a decent human being was encouraged, but a blood sucking parasites that would die alone for their attitude was made popular now, cause lesbians couldn't get any for being fucking weirdos.
Which ponies would you love to see get some attention, but don't? Are they mostly ignored semi-major characters, or are they background ponies who are lucky to have voice actors?
>welcome to Anons guide on going to Equestria>Step one: die>Step two: ???>Step three: realize you're in rgre>Step four: profit
>>33944629horseland or dougverse
>Go to Equestria>Have asthma>Medicine doesn't exist in Equestria to treat it>It's springtimefuck
>>33944647the opposite of what you wanted
>>33944665>no hooves>go through high school againhaha dynamite
>>33944673Not necessarily. There's a whole world outside of that high school, you know
>>33944678>there's other stuff, tooSure could've fooled me, I've never read anything about it!
>>33944680There's a camp in the woods.Also a boat.I think there was a carnival at one point?
>>33944689A city and a coast on the other side of that.
>>33944680There's a big fucking city full of locations, a beach, an amusement park, a huge natural park, if you actually use your imagination you can write in anything you want. I've seen some people suggest that the EqG world is in a version of America with a bunch of punny horse names.
>>33944701Humanlandia just holds little appeal to me broseph, I'm gonna jump into their mirror thing like I'm on blues clues.
>>33944579There's a lot that don't get enough attention, and some who even when they do it's in the worst way.I want more:Octavia who ISN'T a fucking chav. (I can't stand that shit)Octavia's little sister (can't remember her name...)Berry PunchMarble PieAloe and Lotus (the Spa Twins)Bon Bon who isn't a complete GRUMP.Coco Pommel with a personality beyond "Obsessed with Anal" (buttsex is cool and all, but it's a bit boring if that's her only notable character trait)Tree Hugger who isn't a stoner weedhorse. The hippie thing can work, but having her be constantly baked is terrible. (also fuck dreads, I want to like her, but dreads are disgusting.)Vinyl Scratch who isn't a mute.
>>33944762>Octavia's little sisterI believe we gave her the name Symphonia
>>33944762>Octavia who ISN'T a fucking chav. (I can't stand that shit)I hope you dont mean the idea that she slips into a chav accent when stressed, because i'll 'it you righ' in the gabber m8.That shit's adorable and also applies to Rarity's accent in my head.
>>33938804Ainz IS competent however. It's just ridiculoudly funny how overhyped he is by everyone aroudn him, including people who would consider him a world-ending evil but he thinks he's on friendly terms with.
>>33938310Most Anons here are>A) Non-subs who want to have mares maintain them financially and be stay-at-home dads.>B) Anons who just want to subvert the setting by putting an overtly non-sub Anon who all supposedly dominant mares turn submissives for.>C) Anons who want to explore the cultural and philosophical implications of the setting.
>>33944814>D) Anons who want to pet the ponies
>>33944782I'd rather her be a marexican than a chav.
>>33944820That's a given tho.You're on /mlp/.
Would any of you be brave enough to cuck Discord by sleeping with Fluttershy?
>>33944880All of us would
>>33944880>cucking discord>not joining their relationship.Normal rules dont really apply when it comes to big D.He could literally identify as an attack helicopter with complete honesty and accuracy.
>>33944814>and be stay-at-home dads.I know it's never going to happen, I've always known it's never going to happen, but I want it so much..>tfw no marewife to snuggle with as you read a bedtime story to your hybrid foals
>>33944952That’s gay man
>>33945115That assumes that discord is male.
>>33944531Not bad. You should think of write some more.>>33944762I agree with you on all points. In fact, an old fimfic put it in my head that Octavia's posh British accent is to hide her actual Italian one.
>>33944952Me too. I'd rather join them. Just think of all the pranks Discord could help make real.
>>33944825This would work too. Maybe from around Mareacruz to Mareidia. They tend to have a more Marejorcan accent. Maybe sounding like Salma Hayek.
>>33945157Can you not even be bothered to wait until the thread is past page 5?
>>33945170>REEE page 480>REEE NEW THREAD NAW>REEE GREENTEXTAre you gonna blow everyone up?
>>33944988>tfw dad never really liked you so much so he only taught you how to do all the housework>its all you're good for now >you'll never be a house husband with a large family like you've always wantedI-it's not fair
>>33944762>Bon Bon who isn't a complete GRUMP.You know, I always entertained the idea of that Bon Bon is just misunderstood. Though the whole 'Secret Agent Sweetie Drops' blew it up, I think I could include something about her in my smol birbfilly story.
>>33944655Same Anon, same.
For as long as this threads been around I feel like there should be way more stories in the pastebin.