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Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.


The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:

~~~~~

>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."

~~~~~

Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 275, now shut up and drive!
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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here: >>33902130

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and stuff used in these stories!
Check it out here:
http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
>>
First for sexy hooves!
>>
Salt is still evil
>>
First for JUST AS PLANNED
>>
>>33935444
>>33935443
Damn
>>
>>33935444
Ohhhhh my trips don’t lie
>>
>>33935443
>>33935444
>>33935445

345

Heh
>>
Reading through first threads is weird, we had an anon at one point
>>
>Everyone ignore Golly as a possible threat last thread

Come on!
>>
>>33935463
EVERY thread had an anon, we retconned him into Spike. We also used to do that really weird green format everyone else does
>>
>>33935463
>>33935469
Fun fact, from these 2 on “there’s no anon fucking ponies” was listed as a bonus to these threads to get readers on, and it worked
>>
>>33935469
I'm just skimming till I see the first arc, but am realizing that some of this stuff is kinda important later.
>>
>AJ
“Celestia”
~~~~

FWOOSH!

“HOLY-“

>Tia, gotta question.

“I knew you were a demon! I knew it! Proof! Prooooooof!”

>Are Scootaloo’s aunts evil?

“And clearly fucking with me at this point.”

>Ah’m serious, Ah’ never said nothin’ not once, but Scootaloo has been in a lot of situations where you’d assume, if she had guardians, they’d show up, right? But they didn’t even show up for the talent show! They weren’t there when she got picked for the torch for the Equestrian games!

“Are we ever going to hold those, by the way?”

>Don’t change the subject! Look, Ah’ didn’t want to sound mean, but her parents are gonna come home any day now and Ah’ve gotta look at them dead in the eye if they ask if she’s been okay. She hasn’t been. She almost died that one time and you know just having any sort of parental figure in her life would have probably stopped it from happening. Can Ah’ say they’re pretty bad as guardians without sounding, you know.

“Like a redneck hick who’s homophobic?”

>Pretty much. Ah’ know the stereotype but Ah’ mean, come on, you see this issue too, right? There was a bring your family to school event, and they didn’t show up! Remember!? Applebloom had to bring Granny? Where the heck were they!? Are they getting paid to watch her and this is some kinda welfare scheme!? What’s goin’ on!?

“Applejack, you’re homophobic.”

>Dang it that ain’t it!

“Better leave before someone hears you.”

>Did you do this?

“Do what, get cornered by someone calling me old fashioned and homophobic and in a very silly choice decide to overcompensate by lowering the standards of care with homosexual guardians because they’ve been oppressed too long just so ponies would cheer for me? Whatever gave you that idea?”

>So-

“Homophobe!”

>Okay, Ah’ see where you came from on this one. Ah’m sorry you had to go through that.

FWOOSH!

“M-me too. It’s all my fault.”
>>
>>33935474
Wow
>>
>>33935475
Yeah fair warning, first two threads are kinda wild wild west, everything got thrown at the wall to see what stuck. We didn't know what the thread was gonna be till about midway through the second thread. As such you'll see a lot of odd choices and wonky writing, but realize these are all different people who were just seeing what worked and what didn't at the time. By the time we hit our stride it got a lot better and really peaked with Cordy.
>>
>>33935491
I see that, I recommended this thread to a friend and I wanted to give him a start on where the story really begins
>>
>>33935480
Is that really surprising, even now? How many pony only greens get made out there anymore? It was just as bad back in season 4, only worse and people were kind of sick of it. A thread with ponies doing pony things was a boon
>>
>>33935504
Ohhh, try this https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit

it lists what didn't stick and what did
>>
>>33935525
Thanks, did Shining ever beat 42
>>
>>33935532
Nope.
>>
Ah, the times when Flash wasn't a cyborg
>>
>>33935525
The whole lack of chain of command thing and pretty much lack of education or currency for the changelings was worryingly accurate. Like the show implies they had nothing before Thorax, the closest they had was arbitrary titles
>>
>>33935572
We kind of knew they would be lazy from the getgo, and just made fun of it.
>>
File: Pink.png (340 KB, 838x1024)
340 KB
340 KB PNG
Pinkie Preview Prophs!

>Rarity thinks your underwear is tacky!
>Luna learns what a shawl is!
>Celestia's dress is not poofy, thank you!
>Cadence dresses in style, just not the right one!
>Who let Twilight choose the socks!?
>Fluttershy put on the wrong shoes this morning.
>Ember wants to show you her bling!
> Scootaloo has some crocs, it makes her think of her parents!
>And plenty of hot Coco fanserivce!
>>
What's the first arc of PA?
>>
>>33935636
Blueblood, starts on thread... 5, I think? And by that i mean starts-starts, Blueblood's downfall sort of started in thread 1.
>>
>>33935478
>Delight
"AJ"
~~~

>So, are we just gonna pretend that didn't happen or...?

!HCNURC

>MY HOOF... doesn't hurt so much? What the fu- OW!

"Shut up and pick up the pace, Delight!"

>Are those spurs?! OW! Ok! Ok! I'm going!
>>
Lot of corner usage
>>
>>33935724
The crying corner is a beloved staple of the franchise.
>>
>>33935621
Thanks for the cover.

Also stop dropping the thread while I'm at work! Uncle Sam is like a possessive girlfriend that wants all your time.
>>
>>33935802
But PP sempai, we don't know when you work...
>>
*ahem*
FUCK CHANGELINGS AND FUCK AUQUESTRIA
>>
>>33935831
It doesn’t really feel like your hearts in the first part
>>
>>33935920
That’s sad
>>
When was the last time we saw changeling reporter?
>>
>>33936428
10, it wasn’t that long ago, she got denied getting an interview with the new universe
>>
>>33935831
Thought that said AUQA UESTRIA for a second
>>
What's 56 up to?
>>
Aj17 is a dick, what happened to him?
>>
>>33936929
He didn’t catch on and got forgotten
>>
>>33936903
>56
"29"
~~~~

>Sup, cuz!

"Mine cousin, how art thou on this day? Have thine studies been going well?"

>Ehhhh.

"Oh dear, what ails thee upon thine worrisome head?"

>Well, my armor making is going great, weapon handling is above average, and in general my pottery lessons are top tier, but its my stealth I'm kinda doing bad in.

"Thou art a changeling! How could thee be floundering in stealth!? T'would be as if a bird could not fly, yet could tapdance with the best od them!"

>I know, I know, but its hard! They keep tripping me up!

"Well this shall not stand, I am an infiltrator of seduction's boon, a force that stalks the night with a tantalizing tongue, I shalt assist thee in thine realm of shadow."

>Sweet, thanks cuz! I'm going to go hide!

In a flicker, he vanished and blends in with the environment.

"Odd he seems able to move quickly, his smaller frame is excellent for just such an ability, and his abilities most natural should be above the greatest of par for any beast of fur and wing. What might cause thine fault-wait... oh! Look! A plot, and it is only a three out of ten!"

>A THREE!? That's just insulting! She clearly runs, the effort makes a three impossible!

~Hey thanks, I do work out!~

>And you should be proud of the care you give your plot!

~I am! Wow, today is a great day.~

"Ah... I see."

>So what do you think my problem is, cuz?

This was going to take a while.
>>
>>33936946
The temptation though...
>>
What are the changelings up to?
>>
>>33937194
Being niggers
>>
>>33937194
>Changeling
"Changeling"
'Changeling'
~Changeling~
~~

>Is the Queen coming back, or did she finally leave us for good this time?

"Should we hold another election?"

'You fool! It might be a test like last time! Remember!? She shot them for it! Its clearly meant to lure out dissidents and then blammo! Through the walls!'

~She's playing the long game now, but we're outsmarting her!~

'Yeah! We're going to keep doing what we're supposed to!'

>Nobody's telling us what to do, because we do it anyway!

'We're so loyal and not shoot worthy!'

~YEAH!~

"...You guys ever wonder if we're in a dictatorship?"

>No. Wondering implies there's some question on the matter.

'I'm just so fucking loyal it hurts.'

~And not in the shooting way because we're smart!~

>'~YEAH!~'

"This is pretty sad."

>'~She provides the crying corner because we are good bugs!~'
>>
Found thunderhoof, predesecor to Thundercracker
>>
First time Chrssy messes with Shiny's papers
>>
>Altwi
"Lunalt"
'Ralt'
~~~~

>I am so... so... so sorry?

If the intensity of a normal glare would have struggled to melt ice, the one those two ponies gave the princess would have turned steel into wilting slag.

"Rarity, hold us back."

'So that I can get at her first? Darling, we can share.'

>I didn't mean for it to go this wrong!

"Oh, you hear that? She did not mean it."

'Well, in that case all is forgiven!'

>...really?

"'NO!'"

Their chorus shout knocked her chair onto its back, and the pony on top of it accepted her fate on the ground.

>Would it be unfair for me to point out that I've forgiven both of you for mess ups in the past?

'"Yes!"'

It was only the staunchest of Friendship magic that kept her from replying 'okay, Nightmare Moon'.

>Alright, alright, you can be mad at me...

"As well we should be! Now our beloved says we must go on a vacation!"

'Imagine!'

Strangely, despite their glower and their snarl, both seemed to be packing their bags rather quickly.

'Us, of all ponies, being forced to see the sights and enjoy the limelight of a whole new Canterlot!'

"Tis exactly the same, Twilight! Exactly the same! Except this one won't give us funny looks or sniping comments!"

'Do you have any idea what its going to be like, forced to see other dresses in my style in that world? I'm going to have to see my own work on display across universes!'

"Oh, and do not remind us that we may be forced to look upon our own visage, only with all her power and none of her relationships!"

'The deary is going to see herself out of a relationship, Twilight! Not in a relationship! And I have to see myself as a princess! A! Princess!'

"That wasn't even supposed to happen until Applejack was caught, now she gets to see her in advance!"

'What am I supposed to do, make dresses based off her dimensions!? Is that it?! Get a leg up on my coronation with consideration to new sizes? Who would even think that!'

1/4
>>
>>33937359

"Oh and if we have to see our sister healthy again, ohhhh, if we must see it, a pox on you! We shall find a zebra and they shall use their witchcraft to give you a pox!"

'Don't be racist, darling.'

"Zebras are amazing in pox based potions, tis a compliment!"

'Focus on Twilight.'

"And her pox! A pox unto you!"

'Oh, do you think Poxamillion is still open in that universe?'

"Dare we to dream? The little crab cakes might still be recovered?"

'What are the odds he burnt his hoof badly in two dimensions?'

"Oh! That means Flowertouch might still be open since her husband, uh... you know."

'Ahem. The point is, we're going to have to leave now and its all your fault, what do you have to say for yourself!'

They were still glaring, both of them were obviously still glaring with absolute fire and fury at her. But something those looks were off.

>...I promise not to spy on you in your bedrooms anymore?

"You really shouldn't have to make that promise."

'Right? It should just be the default.'

"Tis like promising you won't stab us in the legs."

'I just shouldn't happen, no need to make a specific promise it won't. If you say it won't, we're instantly more suspicious.'

>...are you guys still mad at me?

She honestly wasn't sure anymore.

"'YES!'"

Until that.

"But! Thou art very lucky our beloved spoke to us before we spoke to you."

'If we'd just come straight here after learning about it, we likely would have done something... rash.'

"I picked up a vase."

'She did, I don't know what she was going to do with it, but she had it.'

"However, he managed to calm us down."

'It took some... effort.'

Very unfortunate images popped into her head, and because of what the princess had seen, she resigned that this was her life now. This is what was scarred into her mind for all of time, and there was nothing she could do about it. No matter how much she wished to tear out her own brain in this moment, it would never be enough.

2/4
>>
>>33937364

"We are still angry at you, and we will be for a long time. Thou may have had good intentions and thought thine actions just in keeping us safe from someone with the magic ability to manipulate emotions, but she spoke true without spell, and we owe her for that."

'We know how you are after Applejack, we know you just wanted to prevent that incident from happening again, but what you did crossed a line.'

"Tis a huge invasion of privacy!"

>I know, I know...

They softened ever so slightly when they heard her genuine regret.

"But, if you really wish to make things better for us, then, well..."

'How much did you hear?'

The way her eyes cut over to a certain file cabinet told the both of them the answers they wanted to know.

"Then can we count on you, since we obviously won't be able to do it while away?"

>...yes. I'll... I'll have it done before you come back, I'll send word to the other universe when... when I find her.

A part of her wanted to cry all over again. She wanted to be angry at someone, she rightly felt she should after being forced to open up an old wound, but there was no one else to blame. That, most of all, was what stung the most. Whatever this would do to herself, it was her fault.

>...I'll get it done.

Whatever it would do to Shining, it was her fault.

"Good! Now, a glamour, if you would!"

>The necklaces on the table.

Both ponies trotted over to the steel table, happily slipping on their new accessories.

'Wonderful! I hope the disguise is attractive.'

"Thou needs no more attraction, thou art fine enough as it is."

'Oh you!'

In a shimmer, both ponies looks changed.

'...Ahem, Twilight?'

>Yeah?

"What are you thinking!?"

>What?

Ever so slightly.

"All you did was change our mane and fur color!"

>Not true, I hid Luna's horn too.

'We look exactly the same, just different colors!'

>Huh. You sure? I based them off real ponies.

3/4
>>
>>33937371

'You're telling me that someone is walking around with my exact face, and the only difference is fur and mane color!?'

>...maybe?

"This is... worrying."

'Hrmph! No matter, I'm not going to delay a second longer in my departure, I've simply had enough of all the comments!'

>Has anyone actually-

The look they both gave her said, quite clearly, yes.

>...I'm sorry-

"As well you should, but we shall grant forgiveness when the task is done! Tally ho, our fellow Divine!"

'Oh, I do wish we could see Shining off, though...'

"Does thou want to go out there in the middle of Canterlot to do so?"

'...Tally ho!'

"Much better."

They both headed towards the door, already chatting away about what fun they would have beyond the portal.

"Oh! Before we forget. Twilight?"

The curious tone made her ever more curious.

>Yes?

"How much did thou... see?"

The lack of tact made her something else entirely, something much, much more red.

"...did thou like the show?"

>LEAVE ALREADY!

Both burst into teasing laughter as she curled into a ball, her hooves covering as much of her red face as could be fit. She whinnied aloud in pain as more images flooded back and burned into her mind.

>This is why I should just let things fall apart, you know? If I let things fall apart and then fix them everyone's like "Oh, Twilight, you're the best pony ever! Thank you, Twilight! You're great!" But when I try to stop them? I end up seeing dick-WITH DICK! With! No, wait, that's not better, why did I pick that term!? Aggghhuaahhhh!

Eventually, she realized, she would have to get up, and get to work.

>Why meeee?

Eventually.

"Do you suppose we were too hard on her?"

But for two ponies, about to step through a portal, something besides work awaited them.

'...No.'

It was time to have some fun.

"'Onward, to Canterlot!"'
>>
>>33937376
Lunalt and Ralt remain treasures who make the best of the situation and clearly aren’t that mad at Twi.
>>
>>33937388
Altwi, Ralt, Lunalt are the best things out of this arc. Also potential Spike and Twilight relationship repair
>>
>>33937376
>Luna being excited about a vacation with a white pony

Something about this is... familiar...
>>
File: pajs AU arc.gif (2.51 MB, 445x246)
2.51 MB
2.51 MB GIF
>>
>>33937376
LUNALT CUTE
SHE CUTE
>>
>>33937400
>Also potential Spike and Twilight relationship repair

...how? I don't see that one.
>>
>>33937376
Altwi got off remarkably easy.
>>
>>33937422
Well for one they are seeing each other again, even if it's to fight Flash
>>
>>33937420
But the 'crash' happened last thread, didn't it? With twilight's spying exposed?
>>
>>33937453
Ohhhhh you meant regular one, yeah okay, thought you meant Alt versins, okay.
>>
>Lunalt
“Ralt”
~~~~~

>Oh look! They have fountains!

“…we have fountains at home.”

>Get a picture with us holding it up!

“It’s a fountain, it can clearly hold up on its own.”

>Hurry, hurry!

“Oh, alright.”

SNAP!

>We weren’t ready yet!

“Alright…”

SNAP!

>The lighting was wrong.

“Come on!”

SNAP!

>…Does this look cheesy?

“Luna!”

>You’re right, it does… oh look! A statue! Get a picture of me chatting with it, as if it were alive! We shall laugh when ponies ask if it was!

“Giving you a camera was a mistake.”
>>
What's poindexter and Mane iac up to?
>>
>>33937550
>SA
"PD"
'Mane-Iac'
~Flurry~
~~~~~

>...

"..."

'AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'

~EEEEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEE!~

'AHHHHHHAHHAAHAHAHAAHH!'

~EEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE!~

'INDEEEEEEEEDDDDD!'

~ABEEEEEEEEEEBBBBB!~

>...So she gets along great with kids.

"She... is from a kids comic book, I guess?"

>Great for babies, yeah.

'MWWWWAAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAH!'

~HAW!~

"I'm afraid."

>Shhhh, no more tears now... the end is near my friend.
>>
>>33937543
IT BEGINS
>>
>>33937568
Whelp
>>
What are 41 and Suckerpunch doing?
>>
>>33937684
>41
"Suckerpunch"
~??~
(???)
~~~

>Hey, are those ponies acting... weird to you?

"Which ones?"

~Darling look, the crisp stand is here!~

(Our mother has smiled upon us!)

~And look! He has the waffles!~

(HUZZAH!)

"Oh. Just tourists, Punchbuddy, ignore them."

>Tourists who know where everything is?

"Lots of ponies glance ahead before they visit."

~Oh oh! The diner never burned down!~

(HUZZAH!)

>Who assume things are destroyed?

"Faulty information."

~GASP! She actually commissioned a station!~

(Booooo!)

>And are surprised Princess Applejack got a statue?

"She's not popular."

~OH! MY! GOSH!... Clipper still lives here!~

(You there! Never cheat on your wife, terrible things would happen!)

>...

"I've got nothing. They can see the future, maybe?"

>HEY! YOU! What's my future look like?

~...~

(Should we tell her?)

~If your Queen tells you to go six miles south of Canterlot, tell her no! TELL HER NO!~

>...are you gypsies?

~...yes.~

>Oh my gosh, a gypsie knew my future! This is just what the gyspie lady said!
>>
What's primrose up to?
>>
>>33937799
Wait, who's primrose?
>>
>>33937814
I don't know, saw a name and decided to use it
>>
>>33937799
The Peacetrotter?
>>
>>33937831
Sure
>>
>>33937819
Where did you see the name? I don't recall this one.
>>
>>33937856
Scrolling through the timeline, found the name interesting
>>
>>33937854
I mean alright...

>Celestia
"Primrose'
~~~

>I suppose now would be a good time for a checkup. How are you feeling?

"I am well, princess! Thank you!"

>You're sure?

"Yes!"

>The internal fighting of a god, a consciousness of a mass murderer and a copy of a zombie plague aren't upsetting you?

"I am a machine, I have no desire in any way shape or form and I never get upset because its not in my programming. If someone put that in there, I'd be very upset! But since I'm not made with that ability, all it is to me is something to mute and forget about."

>...makes sense.

"Thank you for not granting me real consciousness like certain other machines or this would be a prison of pure evil and no hope for escape."

>...sure. So you don't even hear them?

"Not unless I want to, do you wish me to-"

>I do not.

"Excellent!"
>>
>>33937905
Thanks
So that's what she's for
>>
>>33937916
Yeah Primrose doesn't really do much since we made her a holding cell for Red and Brahmos's copy from Daw's memories and the attempt to replicate Cordycep's base consciousness, its hard to write around those three and she never really had much interest in her, since she was originally a spy.
>>
>>33937925
Good explanation
>>
What's Sweetie Belle doing?
>>
>>33937376
>Luna is into that

Lewd
>>
>>33937959
Fine taste you mean!
>>
Reading the timeline makes me realize how much I missed from Applejack getting the Apple to straight into the end of the Blue arc
>>
>>33938184
That's like a hundred threads...
>>
>>33938188
Yeah, found that out later, but didn't think to much of it. I really don't want to read through a hundred threads though
>>
How's the Chititania movie moving along?
>>
>Salt
"Dash"
~???~
~~~~

"You rang?"

Her timing was, as always, impeccable in a way. Not a moment left hanging as the last of his supplies finished being loaded into his private carriage. She always did hate waiting.

>Change of plans, we need to head to the dragon lands now and get ahead of this.

"Get ahead of what, oh big and sexy?"

Her sing song voice should have grated him. Instead, it always seemed to make him smile.

>You know what happened.

"I may have heard some things. Things that might require you to depart. I do still have questions about the transportation."

He shrugged, then motioned for her to enter in the rather quaint carriage. She didn't have the best memory for these things, but she would swear it was only as big, if not smaller, than the one that had brought her to her very first gala. She could probably pull it into the air herself, the four Magitech pegasi ready to pull it were downright overkill.

>I'm avoiding using any airships.

"But not the giant mirror? What are you, Rarity?"

>We can discuss this more inside.

"Alright?"

Curious at the strangely forceful tone he gave, she followed after him as he shuffled in the door. It certainly wasn't cramped, but it did seem quite small in there, and with the stallion as large as she was it only made sense to sit on the seating opposite to him. As soon as the doors shut, he let out a sigh and it seemed as if he'd suddenly deflated and let out all the air that had been propping him up.

"Tough day?"

>Very stressful.

She didn't move from her seat, content instead to stretch out and patiently wait until he'd popped out the last of the kinks in his shoulders.

"So what's this about the dragon lands?"

>You know what it is.

"Riiiight, I know why this isn't an issue. I'm sure Emby would have a good laugh at you, but she's not gonna get mad. She can be possessive sometimes, but-"

>I meant Twili.

Her eyebrow shot up in scandal.

"What, was she so interested you think she's going to jump you?"

1/6
>>
>>33938496

He gave her a stare that could wither a thousand year oak.

"I mean that's the only connection I see."

>Do you remember what Ember did earlier?

"Messed up my favorite hallway? Those are hard to choose, Shiny."

>She demanded we up the pace in picking up Applejack.

"...and? What, do you think she's going to be mad you picked Rarity and Luna for a little tension relief? I know she really doesn't like Rarity but-"

>Twili, Dash, focus on her.

"I'm trying not to, I mean I'm not gonna judge but-oh."

It finally, finally clicked, and not a second too soon.

"Ohhhhhh, yeah she'd probably freak, wouldn't she?"

Whatever magic he'd been preparing, to silence or slap or toss her, vanished on his horn.

>Can you imagine what she would do if she thought about that? Just a stray thought? She'd go overboard trying to conceal it from her, and we both know how it goes when you try to hide something like that.

"Wellllll, and I'm just spitballing here, maybe the simpler answer is just to be like 'say, Twilight, since you're so interested in my sex life anyway, would you like to know what Ember's O face looks like?' and then boom, problem solved."

The short, blank stare he gave her just before he blinked made him look akin to a doll, one who's owner had forgotten him mid act.

"What?"

>You don't see any issues with giving Twilight that secret, knowing full well what would happen if the other nations found out about it?

"Oh please, she can be trusted with a secreeuhuuusshhhhhhooooooooo..."

It thankfully hit her eventually.

"Okay, so maybe this isn't the best time to make that claim."

>You think?

"Hey, I don't think it was intentional."

>And that makes it better?

She searched as hard as she could, but could find no rebuttal to that.

“I still don’t like lying to my best friend.”

>Me neither, but you know this could end badly if we don’t play it straight.

2/6
>>
>>33938499

“What if I promise to gag her, can I tell her then? I’ll follow her around and anytime she gets close to spilling the beans, SNAP!”

He chuckled at the mental image, but sadly his laughter could not last.

>I love that filly more than anything, but she can’t be trusted not to accidentally let it spill yet. She will be, eventually, but until that time I need to keep up a show. This is as much for everyone else as it is her.

“Oh please, you should be thanking her, now you have an excuse to go see your little “Love-lizard”

She prodded, but the smile on his face would show no weakness.

>This is not the best time for that, honestly. There’s a lot in motion now I’d rather be dealing with, so we need to make this visit as brief as possible.

“So then send someone else.”

It seemed the most obvious solution to her, but the look on his face made it clear she would not have such luck.

>You know if it was anyone else, Twili would lose her mind. She already calls back the guard and orders them to hide when Ember stomps around, there’s no one else she would trust not to get attacked.

“What about Discord?”

His lips pursed in obvious discomfort.

>Discord is the reason why we need to make this quick.

The rainbow mane tilted when she gave him a questioning look, one part suspicious, one part on edge.

“What do you mean?”

>Its very odd timing, isn’t it? Lots of things seem odd.

“You think this incident wasn’t just Twilight? Is someone playing her?”

Her wings began to unfurl, as if ready to spring at any moment and rocket out of the carriage. He calmed her with a raised hoof.

>It doesn’t have to be someone else to be an advantage.

She nodded thoughtfully as her wings curled back, tapping her hoof to her chin in pondering.

“Any chance it’s to disrupt the plan?”

3/6
>>
>>33938504

>Possible, but its just as possible there’s something else at work here or another goal to be gained. The plan might be unknown or just coincidence to someone making a move. Or there’s nothing at all, and I’m just a crazy pony with no idea what he’s saying. These events are a problem, but they’re just as likely an unfortunate event as they are something serious.

“So you called me up to be your guard and get you out of there and back home when things go south?”

He smiled and nodded, even though there was clearly something more.

“That not it?”

>…we don’t spend as much time together anymore, you and me, not like we used to. I missed I when we flew around Equestria while I learned to fly. We used to go places, but now we just seem to see the same walls every day, don’t we?

A sigh came just before she turned her head away in a failed attempt to hide the blush.

“I knew you were going to be busy when I hopped onto this.”

She smirked, waiting for him to pick up the joke.

>And I knew I was going to miss it when I took on the role.

She was only slightly disappointed when he let it lie. Only very slightly.

“Gahhh, I never should have been Captain of the Wonderbolts, then I could drag your nice white ass out of that throne room whenever I got bored. They’d try to stop me but zoom! Too fast!”

>Please don’t tempt me, you have no idea how much I want to leave that place sometimes and just fly across the skyline, never to stop until I’ve flown away from it all.

“Pretty sure I do. Damn I miss it when we would take to the skies, fly as fast as we could, and you and me could just...”

They shared a look full of warmth, both seeing the other, but their sight in a far off distance in the past. Different locations, different times, different worlds it felt like sometimes.

“You’re really the only one who seems to get it…”

She threw up her hooves before she could drift away any further.

4/5
>>
>>33938510

“So, we planning to get this thing off the ground? I’m noticing that you keep saying to make it fast but we’re not leaving, what gives?”

>We’re not all loaded up yet.

“Then hurry up already, what are we missing?”

>Well… remember what I said earlier, about why we need to hurry?

A look of confusion crossed her face.

“Yeah?”

Right at that moment, there was a knock at the carriage door. They didn’t hear anything else from the other side, as expected of a soundproof spell, not until the door flew open and a quick shape sprinted inside.

~Sorry, sorry sorry sorry! I just heard and I had to take the long way to avoid everyone because they kept trying to ask me about what happened and I didn’t want to talk to them about it obviously I didn’t so I had to sneak around but that’s okay because I’m here and now we can go see the baby dragons!~

Somewhere, in that breathless rant, there had been words. Rainbow Dash had caught some of those words.

>We very much can. Chief! Takeoff procedures!

The wonderbolt outside saluted him and shut the door, leaving the trio inside.

“Okay, back up here Butterbutt, Baby dragons?”

She nodded, but didn’t manage to squeak out an answer before a hoof laid atop her head and gently began to run his hoof through her long hair.

>Yes, Ember’s main base is right next to the hatchery now. She moved it to be closer to ‘defend the next generation’.

He winked, and the pony beneath his gentle brushing giggled.

>So I couldn’t leave without inviting the baby dragon fan to see them first hoof. And hey, since we’re going there anyway, no better time right?

~Its perfect, I was just thinking I wanted to visit, everything worked out wonderfully!~

5/6
>>
>>33938517

“Huh…”

Her eyebrow raised when she looked to the stallion. He just gave her a smile.

“Guess it did. So, you gonna sit down?”

The pony on the floor looked between the two of them.

~…Nobody can hear or see us in here, right?~

>Not a soul, and they can’t open it unless I saw.

She nodded, and did not rise from her place on the floor.

~I um… I’m good here.~

She turned towards the stallion, and the yellow mare bit her lower lip.

“ … well at least the in flight entertainment is good.”
>>
>>33938521
Road trip?
>>
>>33938521
Daayyyymmmm Salt, manipulating and seeing your own fuckery coming, but unable to stop it.
>>
>>33938521
Flutters you dirty girl
>>
>>33938521
>RD and Flutters leaving with Salt
>Lunalt and Ralt in Regquestria
>AUJ on the run.
>Altlestia useless

That leaves... Twilight and Pinkie to defend Canterlot

oh god they're fucked
>>
>>33938521
Okay, Alt-Dash? You are also a treasure and thank you for being loyal to Twilight. You're literally the only one so far not Salt who's outright sticking up for her and being protective of her. You? You're a good pony. Alt-Dash is a good pony.

On the flip side, Salt bringing Flutalt along just in case Discord tries fucking with him is... ambiguous morally.
>>
>>33938521
>>33938563
>Altdash is loyal and witty
>Dash is a surprise with her great back and forth with the storm king

YEAR OF DASH
>>
>>33938566
There been some great surprises
>>
>>33938563
>just in case Discord tries fucking with him is... ambiguous morally.
EHhhh, the only really moral ambiguity is him not telling her all the reasons, I’m sure she’d say yes and come along if he asked, but it would also make her worry the whole trip and thus not enjoy it as much, her seeing baby dragons for a “mission” has got to be rare and a treat. It would be mean to make her look over her shoulder at potentially nothing.
>>
>>33938521
... okay this is weird. I know I shouldn’t be noticing this but it’s weird, but thus far, Dash is the ONLY one of the alt-harem who Salt talks to like she’s on his level. There wasn’t any “dumbing down” of what he was saying, which is odd because Alt-Dash took a bit to catch up there, but unlike Rarity or Flutters or even Ember he was frank and short with her. He just was like “here’s the deal” and laid it out.

Does he trust Dash more than the others?
>>
>>33938634
>trust
I think you're reading into it too much, but the discrepancy could just be attributed to their personalities being different, which is why he comes across as talking differently to them.
>>
>>33938634
Element of Loyalty
>>
>>33938646
Maybe, but her personality is mostly flippant and uncaring for a lot of her scenes, but even when she's joking with him at the start he cuts right to the chase and only then does she get serious. He even let her in on the whole Discord thing but not Altwi or Fluttershy.

I might be reading too much into it but he just seems different with her.
>>
>>33938659
He's different with all of them.
>>
>>33938663
That's true, this is closer to how he talks to Ember even if he's just a little more direct, but his personality with Flutters, Ralt and Lunalt is nearly identical.
>>
How close is AUJ to be entering the story?
>>
>>33938806
We wanted to keep from bringing her back until Twi is out, but if someone wanted to write her and grand pear we left it opwn
>>
>>33938817
alright, can't wait to see what happens
>>
Who's best character introduced in this arc?
>>
>>33938912
AU Arc or Storm King Mini?

For the first, I'm not sure. Sure, Lunalt and Ralt are a treasure, but they're a treasure as a pair, we haven't seen them stand on their own yet. It might be a case where they only work as two halves of a routine. Alt-Dash gets loyalty points but I wouldn't call her the best. Altwi is closer, because she's someone you want to protect while also being damn funny and having the best comedy scene of the arc bar none, but then again she also has slow points so its give and take and she hasn't really gotten her duo half yet, she just works ok with everyone but not spectacular with anyone.

Storm King Mini is REALLY hard because sure, Storm King himself is somehow way better than he was in the movie and Tempest has some pretty spectacular lines, but the one I found myself laughing at the most was someone who wasn't "Introduced" in the arc, this is just the first arc he featured in, and that's Sebjek. Regardless of if he's going all out this one time, Trapdoor Spider, or MIX IT UPPPPP he's had the best scenes.

TLDR I dunno lol
>>
>>33938912
Ralt/Lunalt or Altwi
>>
>>33938926
I think Delight had a weirdly positive effect on Sebjeks sudden boost, he wasn’t this funny in the leadup but together he shines. They may be the SaD boys but they make me smile
>>
>>33938912
Two great dashes mean that together they make one super character. She wins.
>>
>>33938934
I think Delight worked because he had dreams and ideas in his head, but Sebjek just went off instinct.
>>
>>33938912
Salt.

I’m not joking
>>
Arc's boring
>>
>>33939090
Oh no

What do we do
>>
>>33939097
Sex scene!
>>
>>33939107
Oh myyyyy
>>
>>33938912
Altwi
>>
>>33939107
>AJ
"SA"
~~~~~

>SHINY LET US DO THE SEX!

"OH BABY! OH BABY! OH BABY!"

>OW MAH BUTT
>>
>Cyberbolt
"CB"
~~~~

>... So I know the thing is shielded and you can't hear or see anything, but... but..

"Don't say it."

>But...

"..."

They both look back, and the carriage is rocking.

>...HE HAS TO KNOW!

"I'm sure he does.
>>
What's on the next issue on Chitania's Crushers?
>>
>>33940120
>Rarity
"Librarian"
~Kid~
~~~

>...

"What?"

>...

"What!?"

>...Ahem, I really don't want to tell you how to raise your child-

"Then don't."

>But I do feel I would be remiss if I didn't ask why, oh why, are you letting him read that?

"It's a comic."

>Its about Chitania! It says that on the front!

"And?"

>And she's a war criminal!

"...Was that technically a war?"

>Ye-well, sort of. First time was a war. Second time in Fillydelphia kinda? Then again she was forgiven for both in the Cordyceps war... look she's a criminal!

"And dead?"

>And dead yes totally dead absolutely dead.

"...You okay there?"

>Ahem, I'm just saying you really shouldn't let him idolize criminals.

'So you're saying I shouldn't listen when she says the real strength is friendship?'

>...okay no, that ones fine-

'What about that stronger beings should protect weaker ones?'

>That's fine, but-

'Everyone matters in a team?'

>Alright fine, but-

'So should I listen to Destructania? She thinks that so long as she's strong, she never needs to make compromises or listen to anyone else.'

>See! That's what the real Chitania does!

'Didn't she make compromises when she lived here?'

>...that doesn't count!

'Why?'

>Because!

'...'

>Exactly! My point has been proven! Good day!

CRASH!

'Did she just jump out the window?'

"Every time! Why do the royals never use the door!? WHY DOES NO ONE EVER USE THE DOOR!?"

>I'm okay!

"ITS THE FIRST FLOOR AND YOU HAVE WINGS!"

>...I'm still okay though-

"Sweetie, ears."

'Awww.'

"...annnd... FUCK YOUUUUU!"

>How rude!
>>
>Actarius
"JJ"
(Diamond Dog)
{Hippogriff}
~~~~

>Jugglebuddy, I'm not sure how to handle this one.

"You!? I'm lost too!"

(HHHOOOOO HA!)

{WHHHHAAAAA SHOU!}

>Are they fighting!?

"But they're not attacking each other! They're just posing at each other... menacingly!"

(Dimaonds are forever!)

{Wings to fly!}

(HOO!)

{HAHHHH!}

>What do we do!?

"I don't know but I'm scared!"

>But I kinda want to keep watching!

"Right!?"

>... This is pretty cool!

"I DON'T KNOW WHY IT LOOKS SO WEIRD!"

(I love having hands and long limbs.)

{Same!}

>"AHHHHHHHHHHHoohhhAHHHHHHH!
>>
>>33940148
>Chitania
"Autumn Blaze"
~~~

>You made a comic about me!?

"I did! Isn't it awesome? Who doesn't want to star in their own comics?"

>Me!

"Well, I had the printing press, sooooo..."

>Why did you have a printing press!?

"To make rally posters for our queen!'

>...Wait, is she elected!? Does that mean she's not as tall as she looks!?

"Nahhhh..."

>...did you try to do it so she wouldn't banish you-

"Bingo!"

>Ah.

"But this is different! This is you, being a hero!"

>...

"Awww, you don't like it?"

>How much do you know?

"What?"

>How much do you know!?

"...waiiiitt... you mean you..."

>Winding back for the punch-

"You have kickass black powerarmor!?"

>...

"I just wanted to make it up because I like drawing metal! You're telling me you actually have this huge black metal armor!? That is so cool! Can I see it?"

>...No.

"Awwww."

>Because, uh... the power is inside you all along.

"Can I use that?"

>Sure.

"Sweet!.'

>...Why are there holes in the legs?

"Slots for powerups. Why?"

>And the cocked horn?

"I have a curved horn."

>...

"What?"

>This... this is creepy.

"Well I've got the answer. You and me? We're on a wavelength."

>...

"Whomwhomwhomwhomwhaaaaavvveeee."

>...Oh, so that's what fear feels like... I'd forgotten.
>>
>>33940299
Does... does she know?
>>
>>33940441
Its Autumn, she's intuned to pop culture.
>>
>>33940148
>Rarity
"Comic Book Shop Owner"
~~~

SLAM!

>I DEMAND YOU STOP SELLING COMICS BASED ON CRIMINALS!

"Oh, okay. Uh... lets see here... Supermare is an illegal immigrant, IronMare committed warcrimes, Batmane broke into ponies houses and assaulted them a lot. Y-Mares took over government land. Livingtub does so much illegal stuff for a joke. I think the Power Ponies got rebooted so some of them were rapists..."

>..

"So just burn the place down?"

>It sort of sounds like you should.
>>
>SA
"Chrysalis"
'18'
~Flurry~
(Two)
~~~~

>...

"..."

'...'

~Bahhhhh.~

(Nobody... move....)

>...T-Two?

(Yeah, Shiny?)

>Where did she get the beehive?

(Ah' dunno, Shiny, Ah' didn't think we had bees over here.)

>We don't.

"Flurryyyyy, why don't you give that beehive... to Eighteen."

'WHAT!?'

"SHHHH!"

~Nnnngghhh!~

(Sissy don'tcha crryyyyyy, lemme tell ya' whyyyyy, cause we're gonna diiiiieeee, please don't wake the beeeeeeeeesssss...)

~...ngh.~

>Phew.

"Way to drop the ball, Eighteen."

'Hate.'

>I'll get the window, someone... please... grab the beehive.

"Hey, I know you all don't think I'm very smart-"

'Stop tempting me.'

"But can't Shiny just bubble it?"

>...actually? That sounds pretty-

(SISSY NO!)

SMACK!

>OH SWEET CELESTIA THE BEEEESSSSSSS!

"Good arm, kiddo?"

'Positives, it wasn't us or her?'

~BAAHHHHHHHHH!~

'Correction. You got this, Shiny?'

>THEY'RE IN MY EYEEEEESSSSS!

"He's got this."

(Mah' singin' skills need work.)

>AHHHHHHHH
>>
>>33940931
NOT
THE
BEEEEEESSSS
>>
>>33940931
>Cadence
"SA"
~~~~

>Honey? I'm home-

"THE BEES ARE IN MY MOUTH! THEY'RE IN MY EARS! THEY'RE IN MY BRAAAAIIIINNNNNNNN!"

>...bad timing, gotcha.
>>
>>33940299
>A comic
>A movie
>A play
>A comic in a foreign land

Hrmmmm
>>
>>33939107
I mean you could...

Tiempo needs a pick me up.
>>
>>33941452
Talk about Not Safe For Two
>>
>>33941613
Dude
>>
>>33941613
NC
>Two
"Tiempo"
~~~

>Ya know, Mr. Tempo. Shiny's back and all, but maybe you can be a different kinda Daddy for me?

"Like a uncle?"

>I was thinkin' you could be my sugar daddy.

"First of all, someone really needs to have a talk with Queen Chrysalis about child-appropriate language."

>They did, but she don't care.

"Second of all, you know your father has infinitely more money than me, right? It wouldn't make sense for me to be your sugar daddy."

>Ah want a different kinda sugar, daddy.

"...Haha... That's cute and funny, Two, but a child really shouldn't be joking like that, haha. You REALLY shouldn't be joking like that, haha."

>You know Ah'm probably older than you.

FWOOSH!

>And Ah got the looks to match.

"Haha! That's a good joke, HAHA! Why is this door locked, haha?! It's time for me to wake up now- HEY!"

Pomf! Goes the pony as he's tossed on a bed.

Click clack! Goes the fuzzy handcuffs as they lock his limbs to its posts.

"WAKE ME UP!"

>This ain't a dream, Mr. Tempo. It's somethin' infinitely more powerful, yet just as ethereal. It's non-canon. Meanin' Ah can do. Whatever. Ah. Want. And that includes YOU!

"CAN'T WAKE UP!"
>>
>>33942188
Nope
>>
>>33942188
>Guard
“Guard”
~~~~

>ARREST THAT STALLION!

“For what?”

>I! DON’T! KNOW!
>>
>>33942622
He probably still deserves it
>>
>>33942668
You can’t keel using that excuse for police brutality every time!

Only when it’s changelings
>>
>AJ
"Delight"
~Sebjek~
~~~

>Careful where you're steppin', Sergeant. Ah don't want your hooves gettin' burnt off by that lava.

"What lava?"

>The glowin' stuff flowin' down that channel past us?

"That isn't lava, Princess."

>Then what is it?

"Probably blood or something. Ooh aah."

>Why on earth would that be blood?

"We're inside a giant, magic corpse, remember?"

>Doesn't mean it's not lava.

"It's definitely not lava."

>How do you know?

"Because the air would be blistering hot and no plant life would be able to grow here due to the constant flow of 'lava' drying up all the moisture."

>...Could be magic lava...

~It's not lava.~

"Thank you!"

>Of course you'd take his side. Not biased at all, no sirree- don't stick your hoof in it!

~Why not? The numbers and words do not flash before my eyes when I draw near, so there is no danger.~

He raises his hoof, the armor covering it still intact.

>At least poke it with a damn stick or somethin' first next time! Ain't no sense in bein' risky like that!

~Ok. I will grab one now.~

>The deed's already- aw forget it...

"I'll accept your concession now, Princess. Ow!"

>Hush...? What's with the detour, Sebjek?

~That creature bars the path. It would be wise to give it a wide berth.~

She looks further ahead and spots the problem: a mostly black creature drinking from the river of unknown substance, its sizable form resembling some sort of cross between a lizard and wolf.

"Doesn't that thing look familiar?"

~Yes. It appears to be a different breed, but still resembles the creature we saw. Its size suggests that it's most likely a youngling.~

>A younglin' what?

"Judging by the glassy, black skin, and glowing weak spot on its chest, an Obsidian Beast."

>The spot where its heart probably is?

"It's called a core. If you break through their hide and stab it they'll basically die."

>So a heart. Stabbin' somethin' in the heart to kill it isn't what Ah'd call a weakness, Delight. It's just common sense.
1/2
>>
>>33942718
"Hey, if it gets the job done, that's all that matters. Besides, they're highly resistant to magic, so I'd say it counts."

>...

"A resistance that is easily worked around by punching them really hard, which the pain in my leg confirms you are very good at."

>...

"Please don't hit me."

>...Put me down, Sergeant.

He hesitates for a moment, but lowers his frame enough to allow her to comfortably dismount.

Her steps steady, she strides ahead of him as Sebjek continues to lead them again.

"...How well are you feeling now, Princess?"

>Well enough to walk on my own, Sergeant.

He bristles, punctuated by an involuntary, animalistic grunt.

"Is that a tier above or below 'well enough to deal with a full-grown dragon', Princess?"

She bristles, casting a sharp glance at him.

>It's a tier on par with 'don't test mah patience unless ya want another wallop', Sergeant.

~Do not fight.~

>We're not fightin', Sebjek.

"We're just speaking tensely and addressing each other in a passive-aggresive fashion."

~That is fighting. Do not do that, please.~

>We're not fightin'!

"Don't yell at Sebjek, Princess. Ooh."

>Ah'm not yellin', Sergeant. Ah'm raisin' my voice.

"Well, don't raise it at him. I know I fucked up and you're angry at me because I left out a bunch of details, but Sebjek-"

>That's not what this is about, Delight! I'm not angry at you.

He blanches.

"Then why'd you keep hitting me?"

>'Cause you deserved it.

He raises a hoof, cocks his head, wordlessly works his mouth, then nods.

"Fair enough."

>But we can talk about that once we're outta here. Right now, dealin' with that dragon's our main concern-

A feral growl sounds behind them, drawing their attention to the creature they'd passed by.

Ducking deeper behind cover, the trio watch as it charges past them, heading towards their destination and into a purple, fog-like substance.

>That's a little concernin'-

The nearby, monstrous screech that followed was more so.
>>
>>33942724
>>We're not fightin', Sebjek.
Mommy and Mommy's friend are fighting!
>>
>>33942724
>The corpse is still bleeding

Huh
>>
>>33942724
Okay, potential positives, if AJ can figure out laser beams she can pepper it from a distance and not get into the fog. Downsides, Tempest makes it seem like perception in the fog is warped.
>>
>>33942718
Oh
Fuck
>>
>>33942718
>SEBJEK is the one to stick his hand in unknown goo

What
>>
>>33942987
WEEKS AGO!
>Sebjek
~~~~

>Hrmmm, Fan4stic... this movie will have much to teach me on science.
>>
>42
"Fluttershy"
~~~~

>Why is Rarity harassing a lesbian?

"...I... I don't think the lesbian thing played into it?"

>I never said it did.

"You kind of implied it by focusing on her sexuality."

>I'm merely bringing up an easily visible identifier, like someone would by saying 'the green pony' or 'the pony in the hat.'

"Sexuality isn't something you can just see on a pony."

>You might need to have your eyesight examined.

"Okay, you know what? Explain that to me, how does that work?"

>That's like explaining what the color red it, she's lesbian tinted.

"...wait... are you saying changelings can see sexuality like I do color!?"

>Well no, it's not a color, it's more a... indicator? Its complicated.

"But..."

>We're a species who feeds on love, knowing which way they swing is pretty beneficial.

"...oh my gosh it makes so much sense."

>Obviously.

"So, wait, what indicator am I?"

>...

"Nevermind I don't want to know."
>>
>>33943057
>Rarity
"42'
~~

>So, wait, what indicator am I?

"I feel like I'm looking into a kaleidoscope when I look at you."

>...neat.
>>
>Dash
"Storm King"
~???~
~~~~~~

Things had gone south, yet again.

>Plan X! Plan X!

"Are we really down to X now?"

>Of all the possible times to banter, now is the exact worst time!

"I'm mostly just trying to keep my subordinate from feeling fear. Isn't that right, Tempest?"

It wasn't silent, there were far too many clangs, disrupting machines and grunts for that to be true, but from the pony in question there wasn't a peep.

"She's very brave right now."

>Do something!

"Like what? What could I possibly do in this situation?"

>Shoot it with your magic staff!

"And then what, fall to the ground to become a zombie?"

>They're not zombies, zombies imply they're dead!

"And you're sure that's not the case?"

>Wow do not go there, do not, I will kick you in your monkey ass.

"It is a rather nice ass, I can see why you'd want to touch it."

>Just shoot at me!

"...Excuse me?"

>Shoot at me, right now! Shoot at me!

"Well I guess this is a quicker way to die-"

>Shoot at the hand holding me to free me, idiot! So I come loose, then I can fly down and catch you before you hit the ground!

"Absolutely not."

>Was expecting at least some hesitation there.

"Nope, not happening."

>You can't be afraid you're going to hit me-

"Obviously."

>-so, what, you think I'm not fast enough to catch you? Because I'm the fastest pony in equestria!

"You're just going to let me drop."

>Seriously!?

"You can't think I'd be stupid enough to believe you'd catch me."

>Of course I would if you'd free me!

"How convenient, you just so happen to be let loose first and then I have to hope that you'll catch me."

>I can't catch you if I'm in the dragons claw, idiot!

"A likely story."

>Likely to end up with both of us dead because of you! Entirely you!

"And your cheating heart."

She realized, very shortly, he wasn't joking around.

1/5
>>
>>33943262

>This is how I die. Not because I charged headlong into a storm while juked on rainbow and screaming 'momma take me home', but because some dumbass made the wrong choice in a prisoner's dilemma. This is how I die and you know what, I think this is some bullshit.

"Its alright, I'll probably die too! I mean, I'll die second, because you're in his claws and he'll dump you first, but after those things tear you apart, you can rest assured that I will probably die or maybe just get injured before my kickass unicorn comes and saves me, isn't that right, kickass unicorn?"

Again, there was no response, unless the groans and clanks and garlges of the dragon counted.

"Kickass unicorn agrees."

>And you think she won't betray you... because?

"I have what she wants."

>Which is?

"Ha! I'm not sharing that with you, I've got the cards here!"

>Is it a joker or one of those little rule cards? Because that hat-

"Do not mock the crown or I will absolutely ruin your day."

>Have you not been paying attention-

Before either could continue, the dragon belted a roar. An absolutely earth shattering, booming roar that reverberated with gurgling spittle and chunks of flesh flinging from inside its throat. Down below, the hoard had finally come within direct sight, close enough that they could see masses of shapes and movements within the wave, teeth and fur and lizard scales all together visible inside of the howling wave. Monstrous faces, each one terrifying in their own right, fought to push the others aside to be first to feast on what lied ahead.

>Oh no, oh no! OH NO!

Which, the pegasi realized, were her guards.

>OH NO NO NO! Storm King! Shoot! Shoot at me!

"Why?""

>They're going to eat my guard if I don't do something!

"What are you going to do, fly at them really hard?"

>YES!

"...it might be worth it just to watch that."

>I'll take whatever I can get!

"I'm still not going to do it."

>GET SOME PERSPECTIVE! Your guys are going to get eaten too! Look!

2/5
>>
>>33943263

He knew they were down there, he didn't need to look.

"And your point is? They're literally as expendable as can get. I don't even know their names. "

>Are you fucking serious!? They're going to get eaten and you're going to do nothing about it!?

"I'm going to try to find a way out of this!'

>You have one! You! Have! One! Shoot me! Shoot at me already!

"Enngghhh... ehhhh... mmggnnnnnnnn..."

He looked so thoughtful, as if the thought of being devoured was still preferable to being made a fool.

"I just really don't want you to leave and then I get eaten without seeing you die, you know?"

>Storm King, I promise you... I... promise... you. I will not leave you behind. I promise! Anything! Just get me out of here before I have to watch ponies be turned into popcorn!

"That does sound good right now-"

>STORM KING!

"...mmggghhhhhhh..."

Finally, at long last, he sighed.

"Fine."

And fired, right at the claw holding Dash in place.

>YES! YES YES-

It barely did anything.

>...seriously?

"I was holding back!"

He said, with a blush, and no credibility. Then he fired again.

>...seriously.

"I swear this never happens."

He fired, again and again, and nothing happened.

"You know, I was wondering why it was just letting us talk about that, it clearly knew this wouldn't work. You there! Giant dragon! That pony thinks you're an asshole!"

>Hey!

"Deny it, go ahead."

>He is but I didn't say it!

"I said you think it. Did you not think it?"

>I... you.. what!? OH NO!

Too late, the beasts had come close, much too close now. On instinct, the Storm King unleashed his magic, a bolt of lightning that tore into those down below and ripped into the nearest creature, and even one behind it. He cackled as he fired with purpose, again and again and again into those creatures and slowing them from their charge.

"HA! THIS IS THE MIGHT OF THE-oh shoot."

3/5
>>
>>33943266

The staff, through over taxation or low on magic, stopped firing abruptly, and the mostly in tact mass continued their charge.

"For the record, I want it put down, I tried to save them. That was real effort, I tried there."

Dash wanted to roar at him for his failure, but she could not look away. No matter how she thought about it, or fought against the grip, she realized there was nothing she could do but watch.

>No... no!... NO! SOMEONE! ANYONE! STOP THEM! SOMEONE-

~Okay.~

Something zipped ahead of the hoard, just before it reached within biting distance of the mindless creatures. It moved lightning fast from one end to the other, quick as if it had spent its entire life running from creatures just like this. It moved so fast, and so swiftly, they barely even saw what it had left behind.

>Uh...

A long, long wire or rope of some kind, just high enough to reach their legs. The front of the hoard fell face first into the dirt, a wave that rippled backwards and caused chaos as furious beasts tripped and fell and bit and clawed over whatever was in their way. Some turned on each other, thoughtless in their rage to tear apart the obstacles in their path. Only a select few had strode high enough to get over the rope and avoid the fate of the mass of limbs behind it. Despite this, they did not move on to slaughter the guard and storm creatures still waiting in front of them. Their attention had turned to the one who strode back towards them, through the mist without any care to ill effects that should be taking hold of it right there.

>...Is that...

4/5
>>
>>33943269

~Hallo. Ponies have informed me I should try discussing my issues before resorting to violence. I have issues with you eating them.~

The nearest beast screeched, and pounced.

~Ponies also said to whollop the thing iffin' they try ta' getcha.~

It never came close. The morlock slid back and out of reach before a paw could touch it, dodging out of the way of every strike until he could retaliate with his own.

~Please vent, pony suit.~

A spray that sent the thing squealing as it fell backwards, the painful sand in its eyes burning so badly the mindless creature tore its own face off, as if it didn't even realize how long and deadly its own claws were until it had ripped its own flesh apart.

~I would like to discuss my issues.~

The others of the hoard, having watched with curiosity, lost what little sanity they had, and charged.

~You are bad listeners.~

He bowed low, and was already moving before the first creature reached him.

~...but Sebjek is good distraction.~
>>
>>33943271
KAKAKAKA
>>
>>33943271
>Sebjeks' suit has a filter

Oh riiiiighhhttt.

>distraction
Oh
>>
>>33943271
GO SEBBY GO

And Dash trying to convince Storm King not to be a douche was great
>>
>>33943271
>~Please vent, pony suit.~
Pocket Sand, still the most effective weapon of all time.
>>
>>33943271
So if Sebby's the distraction, what are the others doing?
>>
>>33943271
NC
>AJ
“Delight”
~~~

>OH MAH GOSH HE JUST WENT IN!

“What was that he screamed right before he left? Something Leroy?”

>…

“We might need to keep him from watching certain things.”
>>
>>33943489
NC
>Sebjek
“AJ”
~~~

>HA ha! Now, Sebjek shall be distraction as ponies use their plan! Sebjek is so helpful.

~~~

“Whelp, there goes mah’ idea to just… throw a really big rock and kill’em all. Little asshole.”
>>
>>33943166
>42
“Pinkie”
~~

“What do you see when you look at me?”

>MY EYES! IT BURNS!

“…Damn right, bitch.”
>>
>Pinkie
“DT”
‘Maud’
~Celestia~
~~~~

>Sugar mama, we need more money.

~Oh, what for this time?~

“We need to start manufacturing consoles.”

~…Consoles?~

‘The large boxes that play the game.’

~Oh! Arcades! You mean arcades.~

“No we don’t.”

~What!? Yes you do!~

‘We’re not talking about that.’

~About what!? You’re pointing to nothing!~

>She’s pointing to an arcade.

~A hypothetical one?~

“The real one, you dingus!”

~There is no arcade over there!~

‘Fine, then what do you call them?’

~CALL WHAT!?~

>The series of arches carried by columns or piers, a passageway between arches and a solid wall.

~….~

“That’s what an arcade is.”

~I fucking hate you.~

‘What did we do!?’
>>
>Two
“Tiempo”
~~

>Mister Tiempo, we gotta do somethin’, or sissy’s gonna grow up to be a pony we gotta show the magic of friendship!

“…what exactly do you think that means?”

>Shoot’er with a rainbow.

“That… that’s not…”

>…

“I mean it IS but…”

>…

“Maybe power of love?”

>WE GOTTA EXPLODE HER TILL HER HORN FLIES OFF!?

“No, other thing.”

>SHOVE HER TILL SHE FLIES AWAY FROM US!?

“…the physical representation of these concepts is rather worrisome…”
>>
>>33943988
..huh
>>
>>33943567
I could see that
>>
>>33944584
I mean yeah, it makes sense
>>
File: 513218.png (170 KB, 500x500)
170 KB
170 KB PNG
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
{Celestia}
[AJ]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and some of us have jobs!

{I'm the tallest one.}

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one…'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'{Now for our main segment…LOVE LOVE HIGH!!!}'"

AJ-san wakes up tied up to a chair.
[…so this is how it all ends eh?]

"Ah, I see you're awake Applejack-san."

{Don't worry we're not going to hurt you.}

"We're not?"

>Yes. Celestia-sama decrees it! Hail Celestia-sama!

'Hail...'

"We had a deal, Student Council President."

{Yes, to get rid of her, but wouldn't it be better if we all worked together to unite the school? I could use a pony with her skills.}

"What's the point when you already have me?"

{I need somepony to help me find troublemakers at our school. We must find corruption wherever it may be.}

[Pfft do you really think Ah'd ever work with a bloodsucking killer vampire?]

"I've never actually killed anypony I'll have you know. I drink from blood pouches from the local blood bank, thank you."
Pulls out a blood pouch and sticks a straw into it.
"I'm just here because I like being around pretty things."

{Oh whew Cadence-senpai is a good vampire-I mean you see? Cadence-senpai is a good vampire that doesn't need to be slayed.}

[Hmph fat chance. Plus why should Ah' work with the student council? Y'all were just trying to attack me earlier.]

{It was unlikely you'd work with us if we were working with a vampire in the first place, but how about this? DT-chan make it worth her while.}

DT-Chan takes out a bag of money and slides it over to Applejack-san's feet.
'Celestia-sama sends her regards.'

[…well hail Celestia-sama.]

"Really? That fast?"

[Yeah…being a vampire hunter isn't a paying gig.]
>>
Did Alterjack give Grunt the Fire Gauntlet herself or have her agents drag him to her to get it? And did he go through the gauntlet by himself with Alterjack guiding him long-range or did some of her agents also run interference during the competition?
>>
>>33945389
All about the money!
>>
>>33945700
AUJ just gave him The gauntlet and that’s all she needed to do in order for him to win, he could literally melt the obstacles
>>
>>33945389
Sugar mama claimed another victim
>>
>>33946096
So she gives him orders from long-range and blackmail was all she used to control him?
>>
>>33946202
She probably gave it to him personally, since she was all about doing everything herself. But yeah, she probably didn't directly talk. It wouldn't be wise for her to be seen around that area, and she has a long ring communicator. She likely gave orders with some kind of communicator that the dragons wouldn't recognize
>>
>>33946202
>blackmail was all she used to control him?
It's all she woulds need, wouldn't it? She could threaten to expose him and turn the glove off and he has no counter
>>
>>33946318
She's the only one that knows the Gauntlet's killswitch?
>>
>>33946344
Twilight designed it so she absolutely does if its there, and I can't imagine she wouldn't put one in. Which means Salt probably knows about it and by extension Ember probably knows it has one, but aside from maybe some agents nearby in case Grunt stepped out of line, I can't imagine a reason she's tell anyone else.
>>
>Derpy
“Cloudchaser”
~~~~

>Mayor Cloudchaser? The ponies want to know what you spent seven thousand bits on.

“Anti-Chimera weaponry, specifically designed to fight against something with two front heads and one rear head. With this, we never need fear being eaten by a chimera!”

>Can’t you just use magic, or guns?... Or a rock? A chair might work.

“But then there’s counters to be made, we have to get ahead of the fight!”

>Okay, or what?

“Or we’ll… lose the arms race?”

>…

“Trust me, it’ll be worth it.”

>…why seven thousand bits?

“I had to make three of everything.”

>That still doesn’t add up.

“I had to recharge mid assembly, we will not have our workers burn out!”

>…

“Please don’t say the E word.”

>You did, not me.
>>
What are Fluttershy and Rarity upto?
>>
>>33946775
>FS
"Rarity"
~???~
~~~

>....

"...Do you hear something?"

>Its like marbles being dropped down a staircase.

"Its like a bunch of sticks falling out of a box."

>Its like, if a tapdancing troupe all tried to tiptoe past their parents room.

"Its like if there was a marathon exclusively for stilt races."

>...its getting pretty loud.

"It is."

>...

"We should probably do something."

>Yes... do something-

TACKLE!

"AHHHHH! ITS EATING ME! ITS EATING MEEE-"

~Miss Rarity ya' gotta help!~

"...Arana, what did I say about surprise hugs?"

~This ain't a hug, its a tackle!~

>That is what the word said.

"What?"

>Nothing.

~PAY ATTENTION TA' ME!~

>Calm down!

"Calm! Down!"

~No!~

"Oh wow."

>Just explain this calmly, and rationally and we can fix it.

~Someone's standing outside your boutique!~

"Oh no, not loiterers, this is truly the worst-"

~CRITIQUING YOUR DRESSES!~

"..."

>Well that's pretty-

"Shhhh."

>...

"I bring pain."

She gets up, pulls the spiderling off, and bolts off.

>You do remember we have princess stuff to do, right? Not just get into a hooffight because someone thought your dresses were tacky?... No?...

~...~

>So, how have you been?

~Me and Coco run the entire boutique and don't know if we get paid.~

>That's neat, I'm going to go follow her now.

~Okay! Lemme just-~

She flies off.

~Hitch a ride... oh.~

She skitters after them.

Slowly.

~I like horsey rides too...~
>>
>>33946827
>>33946775
>FS
"Rarity"
~???~
(???)
~~~~

When Fluttershy finally caught up to the white blur, she had been ready to pry apart a fight, maybe cover up a body if need be. She was also ready to ask about diplomatic immunity or ready to remind everyone that she saved their lives a couple times so maybe they owed her one. She wasn’t ready for what she actually found, Rarity staring hard at a pair of mares. Or more specifically, one of the pair.

>...Everything alright?

"..."

~...~

(Er... hello? Tis maybe better we don't engage, thou have been complaining a lot)

"...."

>Rarity if you’re going to do something, well, don’t? This is better but it feels worse.

~...~

(Maybe we should just goooo...)

"...Ahem."

~Ahem.~

>(Oh no.)

"Roses on red?”

~Violets for hue.~

"..."

~...~

"~YES!~"

>Wait, what.

(We do not know either.)

"I saw you looking at those dresses, and I just knew, darling! I just knew! The eye for fashion! The care on every look, I knew it!"

~And you! You've almost unlocked the secret to interconnected dazzle diamonds! I'm so proud of you!~

"Of course, for I am-... wait, almost?"

~Oh, yes, you forgot to turn most of them in order to give it a star shape while in motion. Observe!~

Little by little, the gems on the dress in the window began to turn. Not much, just enough their pattern was changed just a little.

>That did nothing. Its barely any different, right Rarity?

She didn’t respond to her friend.

"...its beautiful..."

She was too busy weeping.

~Isn't it? It took me months to figure out! Though I had a lot of free time and access to pretty much any materials I desired, so I did have a bit of a leg up.~

"...ahaha... yes. I certainly didn't have that here recently, busy busy and so frugal with my costs... COME!"

~EEP!~

1/2
>>
>>33946917

The mare was picked up, much to the ineffectual chagrin of her friend.

(Hey! Thou cannot abduct her!)

"You must come with me, and we will speak of fashion!"

The abductee was okay with this.

~The fashion of a princess? I must know! Lets go, darling!~

"See, Fluttershy? Someone other than me says that!"

~Ahaha... right.. other than you.~

"LETS GO!"

The door to her boutique slammed shut, with both inside.

>...Hey.

(Soooo...)

>...pshhoooo...

They shuffled and looked at each other, not sure what to say.

(So, what’s it like being the yellow one of the group?)

>Feels pretty blue sometimes.
>>
>>33946922
RALT
V
RAR
>>
>>33946922
This is gonna be good...
>>
>>33946922
So she’s not gonna revels herself is she?
>>
>>33946922
What are they even going to talk about?
>>
>>33947023
>I'm royalty.
"I'm royalty AND fucked royalty"
>YOU WHORE
>>
>Fluttershy
"Lunalt"
~~~~~

>...Why do you keep looking at me funny?

"Er, thou art a hero! Who wouldn't look at thee with wonder and with joy?"

>Literally everyone, I found out? Nobody thinks its that impressive for some reason... couldn't even get a cab.

"Well, we are the first. You? You're a superpony. Good on you, Fluttershy!"

>Oh, um... thanks! Hey, this does feel nice!

"Tis a joyous feeling!"

>I kind of don't want to ruin this, but why do you talk like that?

"Er... I was dropped as a child."

>...I finally understand Twenty Nine...
>>
>>33946375
I doubt she'd risk agents in the dragon lands, and the guy was a pushover.
>>
>>33947650
But she only learned about the Dragon Lord succession because she had agents in the dragon lands.
>>
>>33947696
Damn I would not want to be the guy who got that job
>>
>>33947761
>AUJ
"Agent"
~~~

"You wanted to see me, Princess Applejack?"

>Yes. Followin' the recent dragon incident, Ah figure it's time we take a more proactive approach in dealin' with 'em. With that in mind, Ah'm thinkin' of sendin' you and a few others to the dragon lands to-

"Say no more, my Princess. I'll go."

>Really? Just like that?

"Yes. You're asking me because you believe I have the skills to get the job done, correct?"

>Yes.

"And you also have any tools I might need to safely traverse it picked out already, correct?"

>Of course.

"Then there's no reason for me to decline. I gladly accept."

>Glad to hear it. We'll talk more once the others are selected. You're dismissed for now.

"Thank you, Princess Applejack. I'll have those dragon milfs seduced by the end of the week."

>That's not what Ah want you to do!
>>
>>33947761
>Agent
"AUJ"
~~~

>So you want me to go and spy on dragons.

"Eeeeyyyuuup."

>So... which ones?

"...hm?"

>Do dragons have a hierarchy, or...

"Nah."

>So just listen to everyone.

"As much as ya' can, yeah."

>What useful information will I possibly hold?

"Just, you know, stuff."

>They're solitary creatures who hoard stuff and eat ponies, what more do you need to know!?

"Stuff"

>You know what, fine, I'll search, but there's absolutely nothing of interest to even look at-

~~~~

~BOY I SURE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE GAUNTLET OF FIRE! YOU KNOW! THE ONE THAT WILL CHOOSE THE NEW RULER OF DRAGON KIND, OF WHICH I AM! GOSH I'M GLAD WE'RE DISCUSSING THE FUTURE HOLDER OF THE STAFF THAT CAN CONTROL ALL DRAGONS!~

>...fuck you.
>>
>>33947967
>Agent
"Agent"
~~~

>Looks like Grunt's gonna take this.

"I'm almost proud of the little guy."

>Oh! Wait wait! That blue dragoness is getting a little too close!

"Not if we hit her with the..."

Hup! Hup!

>"Stealth Rock!"

Toss! Wham!

~AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh~

Splash!

>Got her!

"And Grunt takes the scepter!"

High-hoof!

>"Mission Accomplished!"
>>
>>33948088
>So did we really need to poison that one red guy?

"He literally threatened to burn all ponies to the ground."

>...

"Also, he called my princess 'namby pamby'"

>HE DESERVES HIS FATE
>>
>Ralt
"Rarity"
~~~~

>No no no! You need to use Spider-silk for this! You can get it from this region right here, next to McIntosh Ridge.

"Huh!?"

>Oh! And the thread combination you need for this is cotton with juuuuust a little bit of softening magic, this spell specifically!

"Wha!?"

>And of course the best way to mine diamonds is to use a dragon to sniff it out! So use-er... whatever dragon you may have-no, wait, everyone knows about Spike, he saved the Empire and has a glass case. I don't know why I'm trying to avoid mentioning him.

"Bwah!?"

>And most importantly! Supersap glue! Its a much, much, MUCH better adhesion than any you've got here!

"How do you know all this!?"

>I get very bored and I have a looooot of money and free time, so whenever my darling isn't tending to my marely needs I just sit around and test things that would otherwise be prohibitively expensive. You would not believe how many things I've failed in my pursuits, or how many times I scarred someone! Accidentally!

"Was there a divider there?"

>Hush hush, no changing the subject! I've told you my secrets, but you're a princess! You must have magic I dare not dream of comprehending, tell me all the special skills you've learned with your newfound powers!

"..."

>...

"....I can fly."

>...annnndddd?

"Erm... I exploded once."

>...sexually?

"Literally."

>Oh...

"..."

>Was it... fun?

"Not particularly."

>...

"..."

>Pshhhoooo, wow.

"Do you want some ice cream, darling?"

>I do.

"Good, good... I need a pint.
>>
>>33948198
I'm pretty sure Rarity's gem finding spell is more effective at finding diamonds.
>>
>>33948228
Ralt would know about the gem-finding skills, but she's implying there's special kinds of diamonds dragons can 'smell', which is canon? Spike mentions the Fire Ruby had a distinct delicacy to it. Or she might be trying to pretend she doesn't know about it because she is incognito, she tried to pretend she doesn't know about Spike.

Either Spike has a skill that even he doesn't know about or Ralt is trying to hide that she knows about her special magic.
>>
>>33948251
I think it'd make more sense to pass it off as her pretending not to know the magic since Rarity is basically able to instantly point out good spots for the diamond dogs to dig in with it and it literally first manifested just to drag her to a rock filled with gems.
>>
>>33948251
>>33948272
What neither of you are considering is that she has access to Ember, so it’s possible dragons have a technique to find the very best gems instead of her en mass one
>>
>>33948365
I mean, it's possible, but since the en masse one includes diamonds in it, then the only thing Rarity needs to do is, you know, actually focus the natural magic she unlocked.
>>
>>33948386
Yeah she’d be able to find all the gems but I don’t thknk she can find specific ones? And dragons would be able to detect higher quality then she could find without specific sorting
>>
>>33948392
Or maybe they can find magic ones.
>>
>>33948392
She technically should be able to find them without sorting already since when Twilight used her spell it visually revealed the gems.
>>
>>33948407
But you can't tell a gem's quality from a surface glance, there are imperfections inside gems or on the surface layer, that's why jewelers need to look at them under magification. Or >>33948404, dragons know when gems smell magical, and Spike doesn't even realize it.
>>
>>33948448
I mean, gem "quality" is technically determined by a market which factors in things like rarity and demand and it's a bit much to suggest dragons can smell the imperfections themselves when their main determination for a gem's quality has always been shown to be taste. And gems are all technically magical in this world anyways. That particular bit of Ralt's line came across more as a throwaway bit anyways.
>>
>>33948473
Yeah we're kinda overthinking it, but that's the fun of it!

> And gems are all technically magical in this world anyways
No they're not, most are just shiny rocks. Maud even brings up that certain ones are more powerful than others.
>>
>>33948198
>Ralt
"Rarity"
~~~~

>Okay, lets start slower. Hows your lovelife?

"WHOA!"

>I'm assuming if you're not focusing on perfecting the dress, its because a wonderful prince stallion of our dreams have stolen away all of your time!

"Our?"

>Metaphorical our. So spill!

"Er, I don't really have a stallion in my life, per say..."

>Oh... oh! OH! You're with Spike? Er, I heard rumors that he was very infatuated with you. Verified ones because he says it, a lot, in public, like you don't know.

"Ahem, yes! We're actually going on a date later! Our very first one!"

>...first? Is...

"What?"

>Nothing, I just... lost track of time. How long have you been a princess again?

"...years."

>...

"...ahem."

>So! Why didn't it work out with the previous stallion, whoever he may be!

"Ahrrmmm, ahhhh, there was no previous stallion. Mostly... mostly I was trying to win him back after he left me and started dating Applejack. But they broke up a bit ago so I figured, now's the time!"

>...applejack.

"Yes."

>Applejack.

"That, ahhh, that's her name."

>He left you, princess version specifically, behind, for Applejack, and then, only when they're broken up, do you try to date him. In the meantime, you've dated... nobody.

"Ahah, um... correct."

>...

*INHALE*

>Mare.
>>
>>33948749
Aw hell
>>
>>33949190
Someone is going to feel terrible by the end of this
>>
>>33949535
...me?
>>
>SA
"Two"
'Flurry'
~~~~~~

>...

"Keep yer' back straight, sissy!"

'Bah!'

>...

"Ya' gotta salute sissy! That way ya' show respect!"

'Baaahhh!'

>...

"..."

'Abeee.'

>You heard her, at ease. Good job, soliders. I'm proud of you.

"Thanks, Shiny"

'Beeee!'

>...I'm very proud.
>>
>SA
"Nightlight'
~~~

>So, how good am I doing at this whole dad thing?

"How many of your kids are royalty?"

>...t...Two of them. They're both royalty.

"And how many times have they saved the world?"

>Er... world or localized city who's implications could stretch out over the world.

"I guess I could accept the latter, to be fair."

>Ahhh... once.

"...Well, there's room for improvement."

>Neither of them are even in middleschool yet! The oldest one only graduated kindergarten last month!

"Son, no one gets anywhere in life by making excuses."
>>
>Mr Shy
"Fluttershy"
~~~~

>Oh goody! A father's day gift! I love you, only child!

"Dad, you have two kids."

>No, I have one kid, and one adult offspring.

"...Oh."

>Have you seen him or your clone, by the way?

"No."

>...good.
>>
>Spike
"Nightlight"
~~~~
A long long, long time ago...

>...

"What's up, little guy? What can I do for you?"

>...

"Aww, what do you have there, is it a picture? Oh look! Its you and me, isn't that adorable! You made it look great, sport!"

>...d-da...

"Hm? What's the matter?"

>...mghmm.

"Awww, he's so shy. Come on, why don't you get a pony ride so we can show Velvet, eh?"

>O-Okay...

"Upsie dasies!"

>...dada.

"What was that little guy? I didn't hear you."

>...nothing.
>>
>>33950620
Dawwwww
>>
What's RD doing for her dad?
>>
>>33950874
OOCO
>RD
"Bow Hothoof'
~~~~

>Please... please... PLEASE!

"Please what, Dashie?"

>Just... just take the gift and smile. Don't try to give me a bigger gift for being the best daughter, don't try to say how much you love seeing me give you gifts, don't call me so smart for giving you a freaking mower for the clouds, again, which I only gave to you the first time as a joke and you STILL KEEP USING IT... please... PLEASE... just take the fishing rod and say thank you.

"Thank you, Dashie!"

>...that's it?

"You said to say that."

>That... huh...

"You uh..."

>...

"You wanna go fishing?"

>I uh, I don't have a rod.

"That's okay-"

>Don'tdon'tdon't-

"We can reel it in together."

>...I...

"..."

>I guess that sounds fun.

"Great! I love spending time with you, Dashie!"

>...metoo...
>>
>Cadence
"SA"
(Two)
{Flurry}
~~~~~

"Did you have fun on your trip, sweetie?"

It never ceased to amaze her how much trust he had in her. To any other pony in the world, the idea a mother and wife could just vanish in the middle of the day without explanation, only to return hours later would cause concern at the very least, suspicion most certainly, and demands to know where she had gone and why would not be remiss. If anything, it would be only fair. But he just smiled away, without a single thought in his head that she might've done anything that would warrant suspicion. He didn't even seem to mind being left alone with a baby for hours on end with no warning. There he was instead, sitting on the couch and feeding the baby in his hold while their adoptive daughter snuggled over the back of his neck and watched.

>I'll... I'll tell you in a moment. Hi, sweetie! Did you miss Mommy?

The baby had only one thing on her mind and one thing she cared to look at, and that was the bottle she was draining away

"She's a little hungry. I don't know where she puts all those calories!"

(Yessum you do, its in yer' face, Shiny.)

"Point."

They giggled at the joke, as morbid as it seemed.

(Or it just goes right outta her, cause she just goes through all the diapers!)

"In one end and out the other."

The baby's horn sparked, as if she knew her family was speaking about her without her express consent, and this could not be allowed. She might do something, if she still remembered it when she finished. She probably wouldn't.

"Oof, be careful back there, Two. I'm still a little sore on my neck."

(Ya' missed it, mommy! Sissy dragged Shiny all the way across the room! Then she was like CABWAH!)

The stallion took it in good nature and chuckled.

"With this kind of wingpower, Dash is going to be in the crying corner for the rest of her life when she gets older."

(Well someone's gotta teach her how'ta fly, otherwise she's gonna smash the whole castle!)

1/4
>>
>>33950989

His smile was that of pure warmth when he nuzzled the side of her face.

"I'm sure you and mommy can handle it. It'll be fun to see you all up in the air together."

Without him, was the unspoken end to what he said, and it panged her heart something terrible to imagine him sitting on the ground all alone while they had fun in the air. Her wings instinctively twitched when more traitorous thoughts came into her head.

"Oop, someones finished. You ready to burp, Flurry?"

He barely even got her up before she belched loudly and stained his fur something terrible.

(Sisssyyyyyyy!)

{...Bah.}

His somewhat sour face was enough for her, and she was content. With her finally free, now seemed to be the best time to approach and take the baby back into waiting pink hooves.

{Bweehh...}

She was too slow. Before she'd even made it across the room, the little one was already falling asleep.

"Awwww, she's all tuckered out."

(She crashed ya' too much, Shiny!)

Both giggling ponies had brought their voices down to a whisper while the stallion got up. He was slow, careful, and the bug on his back was just as careful not to disturb him or her little sister, or to close her hooves too tightly around his neck. She had ridden on his back many times, she knew the drill by now.

"Come on little Flurry, lets see how long you last asleep..."

He shuffled as carefully as he could over to her crib before gently depositing the precious little wild bundle in her bedding and covering her with her favorite blanket. He made sure to give her Whammy, just in case she should wake up, and finished it all with a little kiss on her cheek.

(Have good dreams, sissy...)

Likewise, the changeling shuffled over his head to plant her own kiss on her sister's cheek before being carried away on her blue furry ride.

"You want to watch her? Mommy looks like she something she wants to tell me."

2/4
>>
>>33950992

The changeling hopped off from her perch and fluttered in front of him, giving her best soldiers salute and plopping herself right in front of her little sister's crib.

(Ah' got this!)

"I know you do, because you're the best big sister ever."

She giggled and purred when he gave her a warm nuzzle and kiss on her forehead, before snapping back into her 'serious' face and looking about the room like the best guard in the land. The nearest object, a plastic golf club for a putting game, was in her hoof and held like a weapon, daring anyone to try and get past her. None would.

(Ah'mma be here when sissy needs me!)

He didn't move away yet, the stallion was simply lost in looking at them both. Both of his children, ones he loved equally in his massive heart, who stole his breath away every time he looked at them. Through understanding, or through 'action', he couldn't help but feel he'd really made something special looking at them both.

"...I know you will."

It took a lot of effort to pry himself away and creep from the room, and only then did the mostly silent princess realize she hadn't left yet herself. She shuffled after, trying her best not to disturb either soul, and joined him outside. One quick one-way sound spell later, and they could breath easily.

"And I thought boot camp wore me out."

The stallion chuckled when he heard light shuffling come from the room, no doubt his daughter was doing her paces in her guarding.

"She's doing pretty good in her pacing, you think she's aiming to take my spot as Captain of the Guard?"

A weary, sad smile crossed the princess's face, clearly forced there for him and nothing else.

"Yeah...so, how was your trip?"

The smile left her almost instantly.

>...confusing.

He didn't need anymore prompt to follow her as they went to their adjacent bedroom, right next to their daughters shared bedroom.

"Thank you, foresight."

3/4
>>
>>33950997

He wasted no time when he was inside to grab one of the many towels that they had on standby, Flurry's propensity to spit up everywhere had made stuffing the cloth in every corner a necessity.

"Clean bubble, go!"

The tingle washed over him as his selective shield cleaned him thoroughly of all his daughters 'gift' better than any shower could manage before depositing it in the towel. Despite this, there was nothing he wanted more than to hose himself down, forever. He would have to settle for summoning an orb of water from his bathroom and spinning it along his fur.

"So, what was so confusing about that place?"

He didn't even need to ask her, he just knew. She didn't bother wondering how he knew.

>...I went there looking for answers, and all I got were a lot more questions.

"I'm noticing a theme with that world."

He chuckled and shuffled onto the bed, motioning her to join him soon after. She did, reluctantly, but was far less reluctant to move next to him once she had joined on. He wrapped a hoof around her and pulled her close, settling in for whatever it was she would be letting loose in a moment.

"Alright, what fresh madness came out of that portal now?"

She didn't answer, not for a long, long while. He couldn't see her face, not with it pressed to his chest like she was, but he could tell from the feeling on his skin that her brow was furrowed in deep, pressing thought.

>...Shiny?

When she finally spoke, it was like a frightened animal poking out of its burrow, and he dared not speak lest she dart back in. He used that time to brace himself, to be ready for whatever it was she would throw his way and respond with kindness, and with care.

>...Have you ever thought about... having more kids?

He wasn't ready for that.
>>
>>33951001
2cewt
>>
>>33951001
BEST
DAD
>>
>>33951001
>Shiny being a good dad on daddy's day

Love it.
>>
>>33951001
>Guard Two
HHHHNNNGHHHHHHHAAHHHHHHH
>>
>>33951001
He can't handle the one he has!
>>
>>33951097
Are you implying Two is not one of his kids?
>>
>>33951106
I said he can't handle the ONE he has.

He can handle Two.
>>
>>33951119
U cheeky fuk
>>
>AJ
"Delight"
~~~

>Just another ol' day. A regular ol' day. Like any other ol' day...

"Yep. Just another day. Waiting for lunch to come in."

>What?

"What do you mean what? That's what we're waiting for, right?"

>No?

"Well, it's what I'm waiting for."

>...Ya know it's okay if you want to go out and spend the day with your Pa, right? Ah don't want you hangin' around just 'cause ya pity me.

"I'm not doing that. I'm waiting for the lunch I ordered for us."

>Delight, if you're doin' this to try to make me feel better, it's really not necessary.

"Ok."

>...

"What?"

>Nothin'. If you don't wanna head out with your Pa, that's up to you.

"I do, but he'll come to get me when he's here."

~HAPPY FATHER-SON DAY, MY PRECIOUS DELI-BOY!~

"Which is now, I guess. Can you put my order in the fridge?"

>Uh, sure.

She watches as father and son take their leave, the former chattering happily with rapid fire questions at the latter.

>...Just another ol' day...

+Ahem.+

>GAH! Don't sneak up on me like... that?

The offending pony offers her an apologetic smile, his soft chuckle turning into a somewhat strained cough.

+Sorry, AJ. I didn't mean to startle you.+

>S'alright... Smells like ya brought someone lunch.

+A couple of someones. Special ordered just for today.+

>Ah wonder who went and did that

The elderly stallion casts a glance at where the two stallions had gone and smiles.

>Ah'm shocked by this revelation. Downright floored.

+Well, I was thinking about coming to see you around this time anyways, but I guess it worked out fine like this.

>You had other plans?

+No, it's not that. I was just... worried... I mean, I know I can't really even fill in for Bright Mac, but I'd like to spend a little time with you and the family today. As your Grandfather. If that's alright with you.+

She moves closer to hug him and the stallion returns it as tightly as he can.

>Ah'd like that, Grand Pear. More than you know.
>>
>>33951172
Man I wish he doesnt get kill murdered in the course of this arc
>>
>>33951172
FUCKING
HEART
>>
>>33951172
Grand Pear?
More like GREAT pair!
>>
>>33951172
Now that's heartwarmin.
>>
>>33951172
Top Tier.
>>
>Actarius
"JJ"
'Greg'
~~~

'Buttermuffin!'

>Daddy!

HUG!

>You came!

'You know I couldn't leave my Actywhacky alone on today!'

"Wait, what's today?"

>It's sunday!

'This one!'

"..."

>That's all.

'Really explains everything.'

>Obviously!

"...o-obviously."

>By the way, daddy... I bought you a crochet seeeettt!

'Oh Acty! Its just what I wanted! Now I can make my smiling super blankets!'

>They're the best! For the best dad!

'Awwwww!'

"...I wish I had a dad..."

'Well mush my muffin, you can come with us!'

>Yeah! He can be your dad too!

"R-really?"

'Go ahead, try it out!'

"...Can I knit with you... d-dad?"

'Of course! Come on, Juggywuggy! I'll teach you how to do an overhoof stitch!'

"...this is the greatest day of my life."

'Not until I show you how to make them smiiiillllee!'

"You're the best dad!"

>He is!

'Today... is going to be... great!'
>>
>>33951330
Today is so heartwarming
>>
>Pinkie
"Igneous"
~~~

>Daddy!

"Daughter."

>Daddy!

"Daughter."

>Daddy!

"Daughter."

>Daddy!

"My little Pinkie poh."

BOOP!

>...you're the best, daddy.

"I do not like to brag."
>>
NC
>Twi
"NL"
~~~~

>Happy fathers day-

"When am I getting grandkids?"

>Bye now!

"Nice seeing you!
>>
>29
"56"
~~~

>...why did thou get me the complete collection of Ariclopilstes, exactly?

"Do you not like it?"

>No, it fills mine heart with such glee, yet I cannot fathom the reason.

"Oh, it's sunday, obviously! This one!"

>...

"Its important, I've been told. Everyone made it clear this was an important sunday."

>...really?

"Yep, super important sunday for uh... uh..."

>...

"Cuzes."

>Hrm, I've not heard of it, but ponies do enjoy merriment.

"...the best cuz in the whole world."

>Oh! Hugs too? Mine cup overflowth today!

"Don't get too used to it, cuz, turns out you might forget how important it is..."
>>
>>33951606
HUG YOUR DAD
>>
>Celestia
"Craig"
~~~

>...

"Soooo, what did you get me for Father's Day?"

>My hoof.

"...huh?"

SMACK!

>FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING THAT BLUE THING!

"Awww."
>>
>SA
"Cadence"
~~~~

>You know, Caddy, we never talk about your dad.

"BAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

>Oh, right, that's why...
>>
NC
>Rarity
"Ralt"
'Hondo'
~~~

'Hey, Sweetie! Thought I'd check in on you!'

>Daddy! This isn't the best time!

'Nonsense, there's never a bad time for my dear little-oh myyyyyy. Who's your hot, hot, HOT little friend here?'

"...Please no, not like this, this can't be what makes me eat the gun, not this..."

>Daddy no, she's in a relationship!

'So am I, but I still went to town on Suri Polomare when-'

"THIS IS IT!"

BLAM!

>...

'...'

>Happy Father's Day.
>>
>Salt
"Flutteralt"
'Dragon'
(Alt-Dash)
~???~
~~~~

The touchdown in the dragonland was as easy as could be expected. Which is to say, as easy as could be expected while flanked by massive, terrifying dragons who stuck close enough to stab any of the four pegasi with their massive staffs if one should act even slightly out of line, and they certainly seemed hopeful that would come to pass. To their ire, the chariot landed without issue or threat to give the bulking scaled beasts their excuse, and they could only watch and hiss in intimidation in hopes someone would jump. The Magitech guards remained stoic, and silent, never so much as flinching when flames licked by their head.

>At last!

The door flung open with a strange burst of light. Several of the scaled beasts watched where they were sure they had seen a trail of luminescence pass them by, only to see nothing at all in its wake, not even an after image. The stallion stepped out, heedless of their confusion and a strange scent could be detected as soon as the doors finished opening. It smelled unnaturally clean, like it had just been scrubbed and disinfected for surgery. They couldn't even smell the pony that remained inside the carriage, it just smelled of nothing at all. None quite knew what that meant, only that the two ponies who marched out had a strange smile on both of their faces. All the dragons knew was something was missing, and this would not stand.

'The Lord of Dragons requests your presence.'

None smiled in the presence of dragons, and they would make sure of that.

'If you are unwilling to see her immediately, we have orders to force you there.'

He held up a hoof as multiple advanced, stalling them in their tracks.

>Now now, no need for that. We're going. But, before we go, what are the orders regarding my soldiers?

The dragon snapped, and he snarled, but the Emperor never flinched.

1/8
>>
>>33952726

'...The Lord has made it clear you are not to be harmed, or allowed to come to harm through inaction, so long as she commands it. But should you upset her... we will be free to tear them apart.'

He bit down for emphasis, but the pegasi never so much as looked up.

"Oh dear, that sounds serious. Dash? Are you sure you want to stay back here?"

The Element of Loyalty pretended to roll her eyes, but unseen by her friend was the look she shared mid roll with the tall stallion.

(Blame it on Shining if you want, I'm going to sit back and let you two handle that part. If something happens out here, I'll come get you.)

"You're sure?"

She shifted, her eyes flickering around like a hawk, noting everything in the area, even the parts most would never have noticed.

(I'm sure.)

'If you are satisfied, then holding up any further will be taken as a sign you are stalling...'

A gentle, yet firm hoof dragged the pegasus away from the cart.

>Dash will be just fine, Fluttershy... I'd never let anything happen to her.

He winked, and the tension just rolled off of yellow shoulders.

>Lets not keep the Dragon lord waiting.

They hurried along at a brisk pace, leaving the surrounded carriage behind. Despite the leers and sneers of her 'guards' the blue mare had never looked more at ease.

(If someone was going to do something, now would be the time...)

Inside, she was so tense, she could snap a treetrunk in half.

(This better all be a coincidence.)

~~~~

The pair of alicorn and pegasus were quickly lead into a massive cave, guarded on both sides by hulking monstrosities that didn't quite look natural, even for a dragon. They were quick to allow the pair inside, and even quicker to motion what should happen should they move out of line. A casual stride deep into the lair eventually brought them down into the impressive cave system where their goal remained, sitting atop a throne made of obsidian and clutching the Bloodstone Scepter in her claws.

>Interesting.

2/8
>>
>>33952735

Both ponies were quick to take as much note of their surroundings as could be gained with glances, for wildly different reasons. The stallion noted all the differences from her old thrones location, she used to prefer it out in the open where all could see it, and she certainly didn't feel it needed to be so ornate and intimidating. The only similarity from her old setup were the twin streams of lava flowing down behind her and forming into a moat around her throne. He noted it would be much easier to defend in case an attack should come, and the tunnels around them likely would provide an excellent escape route should it ever come to that. The new home of her throne was a tacticians dream.

"Eee."

For another, it was a dream for a whole other reason, one that made it increasingly hard to hold back her squeals of delight at all the various pits around them filled with eggs.

~I see you're admiring the future strength of the dragons, very wise of you... All of you!~

With her booming call, the attention of every drake was drawn to their Lord.

~Leave us at once, far enough away to give me privacy on this matter, and do not enter until you are told! I will handle them myself. Leave!~

They tried to fight it but the call of the staff was simply too strong. Every dragon within hearing range exited the vicinity as quickly as their legs or wings would allow. The three remaining waited patiently, until the beat of wing and the stomp of feet became nothing more than a distant echo.

~...It is safe now.~

The pegasus had no idea how she knew that it was safe to converse freely, and she did not care about it. She instead dove with reckless abandon towards the nearest pit of eggs, and immediately began to coo and speak in baby-talk to them as if they were free and could respond in kind.

>She likes baby dragons.

~I can see that. She can babysit, in that case.~

3/8
>>
>>33952739

The curl of scaled lips went up as she relaxed in her throne, and the Emperor felt a tingle down his spine.

>I take it you've heard news from Canterlot.

~Your agent kept me informed as soon as the rumor mill exploded, thank him for me when you get the chance.~

>You surely would have heard about it eventually.

~Oh yes.~

She licked her lips as if to savor the moment.

~But I do prefer it when I hear it from someone under you. Makes me feel more... in the know.~

His smile made it clear this was not at all unexpected.

>I love the new place. Even if it has some... questionable additions.

His eyes cut over to a certain corner of the room, and she waved off his unspoken question.

~I figured now was the time to make the move, and it seems I was just in time, wasn't I?~

She slowly rose from her throne, slipping her gauntlet into its holding place with a practiced grace as she descended her steps.

~I told them all I was 'guarding the next generation' in this place, watching over them from my throne and being present when they hatch so they can all know their Dragon Lord... I wasn't lying, I just left a lot of things unsaid. I am going to watch over the eggs..~

She crossed the tiny bridge above her blazing moat slowly, and he was paitent to wait for her. As soon as she came close enough, her claws reached up to brush against his cheek.

~The important one.~

She impishly nodded her head towards the pit, and he very much doubted she was referring to Fluttershy.

~This way no one will notice. I doubt too many of those idiots can count.~

He never said a word about it, but the sparkle in his eyes said it all about what he thought of that.

>And if they do, you could always crush them with that.

He motioned again to the structure in the corner of the room, and with a smile she gave in to his inquiry.

~I wouldn't waste this much Inferno Stone on someone like them. Digging it up from the bottom of the volcano was hard enough even with an adult dragon.~

4/8
>>
>>33952742

His sharp eyes trailed over the giant slab of stone once more with renewed interest. The thing was easily the size of a house, if not larger. Veined in glowing red within its black and golden surface, it looked like something out of a horror story that would soon turn any who saw it to madness. He doubted it would have any sort of magical effects, but he still felt a strange sense of awe looking at it.

>Inferno Stone?

Her tail flicked, grabbing an impressive glob of the lava and tossing it against the rock. It fizzled out as if it were oil on a flat surface, not even leaving as much as a scorch mark behind.

~Some say its the remains of dead dragons, brought together over time inside of the lava stream like a seashell at the bottom of the ocean, little pieces of us forming together into something no heat, no matter how strong, could ever burn. Its a symbol of the strongest of Dragonkind, and how we will persist even if we are gone.~

She brought her tail to her lips, and licked the remaining lava clean off it.

~I'm going to make a statue out of it.~

A curious tilt of his head made her smirk victoriously, as if she'd just won an unseen bout.

~You're the one who said this had to be something grand, something every Dragon can look at and think of as a legend. She, or he, is going to be something that brings awe to dragon and pony alike, and I need the proper, whats the pony word, grandeur?~

It clicked into place, and everything made sense.

>I see... very smart, dragons don't normally do much with statues, do they?

~Of course not, if someone built one then some asshole could just shove it in lava and melt the thing. And I don't know if you've noticed, there's a lot of asshole dragons.~

He had noticed that. Everyone with two eyes and five minutes in the vicinity of a dragon had noticed that.

>I'm hoping we can change that.

He stepped closer, and on instinct she lifted her claw to cup the underside of his chin.

>But-

5/8
>>
>>33952747

Her claw shifted and seized hold of the underside of his chin, preventing him from moving any further away. She looked him, dead in his eyes with fire blazing in both iris and a heat rolling off her that had nothing to do with any magic glove or staff.

~I was a little upset when I heard what they said during. Your agent thought it might have been just pillowtalk, but I know better.~

She drew in closer, her hot breath rolling across his nose.

~And you went to her first?~

There was no worry in his face or his eyes, but inside was another story.

>You know I promised Luna it would be her first.

Another bout of steam made him sweat.

~I barely talk to her, I didn't know about any promise.~

>I mentioned it.

~I was probably distracted, and I wasn't going to ask her about it.~

>Well, I'd prefer if you'd change that-

~And more importantly... I meant Rarity.~

He smiled softly, her expression never changed.

>The new changes from the other world and Applejack's status made this the best time I could think of to approach Luna. Rarity just happened to be there when I went to Luna's room, and I couldn't very well send her away and make her wait, that wouldn't be fair.

She didn't doubt him, he knew that from the look she gave him, but she still held that fire in her that would not be extinguished.

~...you're very lucky you found an excuse to come straight here.~

She gripped tighter and pulled to bring him in for a kiss. She'd found the whole thing silly when he'd first told her about it. Now, she couldn't help but savor it every time. It always felt so cold when she finally had to move away.

~And you're even more lucky I can't be mad at you for too long.~

6/8
>>
>>33952755

The Bloodstone Scepter clattered the to ground so she could grip him with both claws, holding onto his chiseled chin while her dragon tongue tasted as much of him as she could. When she finally let loose, it was with a fierce and needy growl. Despite the scorching look she gave him, he felt a little chill run down his spine when she let go of him, and started walking to the side of her throne. In all his searching for tactics and positions to defend, he hadn't even noticed that over in the corner, hidden from sight unless you stood in just the right way, was a strangely soft looking bed. His smile faded as he watched her sway as she walked towards it, the implications clear as day.

~So long as you keep me happy.~

His eyes may have focused on her smooth scales and rolling hips, but his mind was elsewhere entirely. He was thinking too much of Canterlot, of the strange coincidences that had brought him here, of the strange things that were happening with his goal so close to fruition. Things weren't adding up, and his instincts told him now would be the time to turn around and go home to defend it should something arise. This visit had only intended to be brief, he hadn't even considered that his agent would have told her *everything* about the incident. It had only been intended as a brief show, then his departure back. Every second of delay was a hazard, and if there was a threat to be had it would be best if he dealt with it personally. On the other hoof, it was entirely possible there was no threat, he was merely being paranoid, and it would do nothing but anger the dragoness if he were to leave for nothing, justifiably so. He'd moved a dangerous piece being with those two, but there was a way out.

~Very, very, happy.~

7/9
>>
>>33952765

If he implied he was near to catching Applejack and only he could bring her low, Ember would understand and let him go. They'd discussed the matter before, and capturing her took precedence, even if the plan had to be delayed. Even if he had to go to the other world under justification of 'moving things along', he could get her to understand right now. He could leave if he pushed the matter.

~And you are going to keep me happy, right?~

She stretched across the strangely soft looking bedding, very unnatural for a dragon to have in their abode, and laid flat on her side with her tail flickering behind her. It was tempting, so very tempting that it hurt, but he just needed to put his hoof down right now and he could leave and deal with whatever oddity was taking place in his city.

~And...~

He had opened his mouth to speak, but a sigh that sounded defeated slipped from her lips, and the hope that she would speak and free him from the obligation herself made his heart jump.

~And I suppose, since I interrupted you before. Ah...~

She looked away with a blush, and pointed behind him.

~Would you like to... join? You can... I mean, if you want to-~

"Oh my, thank you!"

The yellow blur raced past him and jumped onto the bed, shuffling along on her belly until she was close enough to curl her mane beneath the scaled chin. The dragoness clearly had no idea what to do with such open affection, and was content to pat her awkwardly with the tips of her fingers like someone would a wet dog.

"I thought I was going to have to wait until the ride home! I didn't want to, you know..."

~...thanks.~

The distant touch turned into a much more accepting brush of her mane, yet she kept looking away.

8/9
>>
>>33952772

"Can I really babysit when it hatches? Can I?"

The sharp teeth were bared in a feral smile.

~That depends... on if a certain someone comes over here or not.~

The blue arm laid across the pony against her belly and her long neck curled around the pink mane. With cheeks pressed together, both of them stretched out and looked to him with a hungry gaze, waiting for him to make a move.

~Well?~

He knew he should leave, he should break it off now, that there was a risk to staying here for more than a few minutes, let alone the hours this would waste. He knew it was best to return, and resume his royal duties, and set aside his plan for now. He knew what was best for his country, and his land.

He knew what must be done.

~~~~~~~

(Ugghhh, this place is too hot. How longs he gonna take?)

The pegasus on the couch shuffled awkwardly in her seating, stealing another glance at the clock out of sheer boredom. Hour number two had passed.

(...Shit.)

She got comfortable, he wasn't coming back anytime soon.

.(Happy Father's Day...) .
>>
>>33952778
I know I'm not getting a lot of replies because of how late it is, but its 20 minutes to midnight and I was NOT wasting this! I MADE IT IN TIME! I DID NOT MISS MY SHOT!
>>
>>33952789
Congrats, Can't wait to see what other people think
>>
>>33952778
Poor RD
>>
>>33952778
>Salt ruins everything

Goddamnit you horny fuckup
>>
>>33952778
So this confirms she barely talks to Luna or Rarity...

Kind of a minor point compared to the fact that Salt Has clearly just fucked up so badly that everything is going to go to hell just because he couldn’t tell her no, but interesting
>>
>>33952812
I mean it makes sense not to bring RD inside, if something attacks from outside he needs Speedy Gonzalmare to zip in and pry him off his honeys, but at the same time damn, couldn't let her bring a game system or something?
>>
>The adventures of Salt, his pointlessly complex intrigue and his hunt for drussy
God this is boring
>>
>>33953183
Its pretty straightforwards now that we know what the plan is, the only thing really complex is the interpersonal relationships he has.

>Dash seems to have grown distant with Rarity
>Fluttershy is still close to Rarity and Dash
>All of them are estranged from AJ except for Rarity who keeps championing for her.
>Ember is favoring Fluttershy but seems jealous of/combatitive towards Luna and Rarity
>Luna and Rarity are besties, but both seem to think they're Salt's favorite.
>Fluttershy is still Friends with Discord who is hostile towards Salt.
>Luna and Rarity are friendly towards Sunset who actively is looking out for them in a twisted way.
And so forth. There's not any intrigue setup yet aside from Glimmer and Altwi's actions and why exactly AUJ hauled ass like a mother when Salt showed up. In retrospect, that was pretty weird, wasn't it? Like I'm just sitting here thinking Salt should only be as strong as Altwi baseline, but even with technology she wasn't winning against AUJ, AUJ should have been able to handle him but she took one look at him and was like "NOPE I'M OUT FUCK YOU!" so fast even Twi couldn't keep track.

>God this is boring
So they should...?
>>
>>33953193
Maybe he has pictures of her at the Christmas party
>>
>>33952778
As you can see, Salt was a victim of peer pressure. A terrible thing for sure
>>
>>33952778
Damn spicy
>>
>>33953193
This is intriguing stuff
>>
>>33952778
Salt stop thinking with your dick for 2 seconds
>>
>>33953193
>Salt
"AUJ"
~~~~

>MWAHAHAHA!

"OH NO ITS YOU!"

>Thats right, and if you try to fight me... I'll reveal that you slept with Big Mac's boyfriend!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>
>>33952778
>Ember is super into the whole 'legendary figure' thing.

I mean of any of them, she'd be the one to be all "YEAH MY FUCKING KID IS GONNA BE A GOD! FUCK YOU!"
>>
>>33954142
NC
>Ember
~~~~

>FUCK YEAH MY KIDS GONNA HAVE FUCKING MAGIC AND BLOW FUCKERS UP SHIT YEAH MOTHERFUCKER GONNA BE LIKE BLAWO BLAWO SHOOM SHOOM MAGIC BITCHES, EIGHTY FEET TALL AND FLINGING MAGICBALLS LIKE A BOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!

"You have the weirdest sex talk...."
>>
>>33952778
>Cybolt
"Cybolt'
~~~

>...pshhooooo... he's been in there for hours now.

"Yep."

>Pretty hot around here.

"Eh, magic means we're not going to burst into flames."

>Still, you can only reduce Lava so much.

"True."

>...what do you think they're talking about?

"Well if I had to imagine, its just nonstop lizard screaming noises when she realized that instead of finding Applejack, the Emperor was fucking two of his bimbos."

>Dude! She can hear you!

"No she can't, that things soundproof."

>Oh, right...

"So?"

>Nonstop lizard screaming about sex is probably accurate.

~HA!~

>Oh fuck.

"C-captain Dash, we uh... we didn't mean-"

~AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!~

>...I feel like we're missing something.
>>
What's Altwi up to?
>>
>>33954259
Too important right now, try someone else like the kirins
>>
>>33954337
Ok
What are the Kirins up to?
>>
>>33954343
That was just an example, you didn't have to do kirins
>>
>>33954259
>>33954337
>Altwi
"???"
~~~

>Where are you, Cadence... where... are-

"HI"

>SWEET MAMA JAMMA!... HOW DO YOU ALL KEEP GETTING IN MY LAB!?

"Doors open."

>...oh.

"So, hi! How you doing?"

>...Okay?

"Great!"

>Uh... Miss Autumn Blaze, I'm glad you're here and all, but is there any reason you are?

"Yeah! I wanted to invite you to my play!"

>...your play.

"Its about an evil witch who's not evil and might be a lesbian!"

>...

"Its already sold out twice."

>...I'll, consider it.

"Sweeeet, you're gonna love it, five stars across the board!"

>Do you write the reviews?

"I do! Nobody else does them, so someone's gotta!"

>...are you on drugs?

"I don't know what that is!"

>Please never find out.
>>
>>33954337
>Chitania
"Rainshine"
'Autumn Blaze'
~~~

SLAM!

>HIDE ME!

SHOOP!

"...M'kay-"

SLAM!

'Queen Rainshine! Have you seen my buddy? I was trying to show her my new idea! I call it... the machine!'

*Muffled nooooooo*

"What does it do?"

'Its gonna make things so much better, for everyone, even if they fear it!'

*Muffled groans and headbashing*

"...but what does it do?"

'Brings us into.. THE FUTURE!'

*Muffled migraine-cry.*

"Okay you're stretching this out a little bit here."

'It flips pancakes.'

"...Thats pretty cool."

'Right? No more using spatulas! FUTURE!'

"Neat, I'll tell her about her when I see her next time."

'Thanks, Rainshine! I know she's gonna love it!'

SLAM!

"...Okay, she's weird, but I have so many questions for you. Are you allergic to pancakes and just don't want to break her heart, or..."

*Muffled scream of "NOT AGAIIINNNNN!*!

"Might be better if I don't ask.
>>
>>33954519
Damn that hurts.
>>
>Grand Pear
"???"
~~

Even beneath the earth itself, he swore he could still see the stars above if he looked hard enough.

The elder of the Pear Clan knew it was just habit and a touch of a waning mind that let him think something like that. The afterimages that glinted in his eyes weren't real, they were nothing more than his imagination and a thought in his head. Even with that in mind he felt himself lost in the beauty of the stars, many a night he had been unable to sleep and found himself looking up at their twinkling light. There had been a lot of nights like that when he landed in Vanhoover, and a lot more after he'd heard the news of what had happened to his daughter. He never thought much when he looked up, he looked up just to pass the time until he felt tired enough to sleep. It used to take some time to reach that point.

It didn't take very long nowadays.

>Wonder what you'd think of this whole mess...

He didn't even know who he was talking to. There were a lot of ponies in his past that would've had something to say about all this strangeness going about these days. Some of them wouldn't have believed it, some of them wouldn't have cared and just started setting the table for a great big dinner. He'd come to learn that over time, everyone in his family was different, and he needed to accept that.

Those answers had come too late.

>All this impossible goings about... and I still never found a way to get a do over.

He would have lost himself in the depth of his thoughts, had a sudden cracking of wood behind him not pulled him from the river of his mind before he went too far.

>You wakin' up, youngin?

There was something visible under the bark that fell away. He couldn't see it too well, even if his eyes had been as good as his youth the dimness of the cave would have made it a challenge, but he could just barely make out the outlines of a familiar, wonderful face before a single eye cracked open.

"What day is it?"

>Do you really wanna know?

1/4
>>
>>33954811

She grimaced, and that was enough for him to finally make out some defining features that had slipped by him when she's first arrived. First time he'd seen her she was covered in mud, and silt, and grime, but now her face was clean and the visible wrinkles were enough to give his weary heart pause.

>You don't look so good there...

She groaned again, shuffling enough in her prison of wood and earth to let him see how loose her skin had become and how sunken in her eyes had gone.

"Ah'll be fixed in a bit."

>Now, child, I might not be the wisest pony around, anyone can attest to that, but I reckon those kinda wrinkles don't really get 'fixed'.

She winced, reasoning she must look like a terrible sight from the concern on his face.

"Ah' might've overdone it a tad. Was already damn near burnt out before Ah' hauled flank out of there, tryin' to use all three magics at the same time was a dang sight of a dumb idea. Usin' it again when Ah' scattered like a fruitbat when he saw the net just proved it ain't a coincidence, Ah'm just a pretty damn dumb pony."

>Language, if you don't mind.

She scoffed, but offered no rebuttal.

>And you're not dumb, I'm sure of that. I'm sure the situation was... dire.

"Ya' got that right. Dang it, Ah' probably could'a dealt with Twilight iffin' it was just her, but when that feller showed up..."

She sighed, slumping into the hold that held her aloft.

"Runnin' and coverin' mah' tracks was the only option, even iffin' it nearly killed me spreadin' mah' powers out that far."

>You don't have to tell me...

He could still recall her when she showed up. Tired, skin hanging off of bones, barely awake and mumbling instructions, it was only by sheer luck he'd been able to do anything for her at all.

"Sorry for droppin' in on ya' like this."

>Oh no! No, don't even say that, you're welcome in my home whenever you need it, anytime you need me I'm here. Anytime I can spend with you is worth it.

A weary eye looked to him.

2/4
>>
>>33954818

"Ya' know Ah'm not the Applejack from this world, right? Ah'm not..."

>What's a little time and space between family?

Even if the plant had grown inward and replaced her heart with wood, she wouldn't have been able to correct that.

>You alright?

She felt her whole body slump, no matter how hard she tried to keep it up to try and put him at ease.

"Ah'm drained. Ah' sapped far too much power from mah'self and put too much strain on mah' body too fast, reckon' Ah' look like an old mare right about now."

>Well, not as old as me if it makes you feel any better.

She tried to smile, but couldn't quite manage.

>Are you really going to be... okay?

"...yeah. These wrinkles will be gone in a bit, soon as Ah'm done repairin' the damage Ah' did to mah' body, it's just a matter of lettin' it recharge back to full power. That's the easy part, fixing when ya' take too much... that's harder."

>Are you going to be...

"Ain't the first time Ah've done this."

>Did you fight Twilight before?

Her whole body went tense, and her eyes turned to fire.

"Not Twilight."

She was unwilling to say more, and he was unwilling to pry more.

"Lucky Ah' did, Ah' guess. Sure wouldn't wanna figure out how to grow this thing while Ah'm half dead and lookin' like Granny Smith in the bath."

>Wonderful mental image.

Her face turned sour, and the old stallion couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up.

>I'm sorry, I really am... but you'll be alright?

She nodded without hesitation.

"Ah'll be fine, Twi checked me out last time Ah' was in rough shape like this, and mah' Alicorn healing fixed everythin' before long. So long as Ah'm connected to the earth, to the magic that flows through this world, Ah'll be back to normal in no time."

>That's good to hear...

His voice had gone low, almost to a whisper, like his thoughts had grown distant as he spoke.

"Somethin' buggin' you?"

>...If this mare, Twilight, she was willing to look at you before and take care of you, what changed?

3/4
>>
>>33954822

A deep, pained breath rolled out from between terse orange lips, and it seemed to sap all of her strength with it.

"A lot of things."

>Was it her fault?

"...some things were."

She offered no more, and he would seek no more.

"Ah've just gotta lay low and recharge until Ah'm back to full power. Can't sap it too fast, or they'll figure out the magic of the land is being drawn towards me. Just gotta take it slow, heal myself up, and Ah'll be right as rain."

>What will you do then?

She looked to him, her tired and sunken eyes haunting him as she stared with burning passion. She may have been weak and feeble, but the fire in her eyes roared hotter than any dragon could ever breath.

"Isn't it obvious?"

She tensed up, and he swore he felt a ripple go down the trunk of the tree.

"She got the drop on me with her new technology and sudden appearance, but she failed to finish me off, and its going to cost her. This time... I've got the drop on her, and I'm going to use it to the very best of my abilities. When I get better..."

He felt that power in his bones, and it rattled him.

"I'm going to take my Equestria back."
>>
>>33954829
AUJ NO
>>
>>33954829
Everyone is fucking up!
>>
>>33954829
Points for Grand Pear being top tier but damn it Applejack, just talk to your friend!
>>
>>33954829
Interdimensional war, go! Let’s see some asskicking!
>>
>>33954829
I HATE this
I just HATE it so much
>>
>>33954829
Still haven’t explained why Salt is such a big deal in the fight, was she just sure she could win against one alicorn but a tag team at that exact moment would be too much? Or was it him specifically and he has an ability that would have hard countered her in that moment?
>>
>>33954829
Dammit AUJ
>>
>>33954883
Specifically?
>>
>>33954893
Just back and forth, back and forth, slap fight after slap fight, pitiless intrigue after pitiless intrigue, nothing learned, nothing gained, just sinking deeper and deeper into this antagonistic mire
>>
>>33954897
>Just back and forth, back and forth,

She... literally hasn’t been seen in months.

>slap fight after slap fight,

There was one fight, ONE.

>pitiless intrigue after pitiless intrigue,
Huh!?

>nothing learned, nothing gained,
They haven’t done anything yet but fight one time!

>just sinking deeper and deeper into this antagonistic mire

....What!?

Anon did you just watch Dororo and needed to vent?
>>
>>33954902
Maybe he meant in general? But uh, like even Sunset is like 'CUT THIS SHIT OUT' when she saw Salt being a dick, and Altwi seemed to understand that? I dunno it doesn't seem that bad, if anything this is the best time for the RegQuestria to show how much they've grown over the series, and I mean everyone from Applejack to Chrysalis to Chitania, and just tell the Altquestria to cut the shit
>>
>>33954888
Yeah that’s the big mystery, what exactly does he bring to the table? Timeline wise it makes no sense she would even know he was an alicorn.
>>
>Pinkie
"DT"
'Maud'
~Celestia~
~~~~

>We need money again.

~OH COME ON!~

"We need to market it!"

~Market it how!?~

'Posters, talk show hosts, maybe spreading the word with astroturfing.'

~What!?~

>Its where you pay someone to be a big fan.

~That... sounds like it should be illegal.~

"Its not."

~It should be!~

'Well, you can make it so, but then you'd have to own up to the fact that the only reason its not is because of yourself, and it's all-'

~I TAKE IT BACK!~
>>
>>33954965
>Salt
"AUJ"
~~~

"Now its over, Ah' have the highground!'

>But I have... THIS!

"GASP! NO!"

>That's right! I have the power... OF THE AVOCADO!

"YOU MONSTERRRRRR!"
>>
>>33954915
I do find it funny Sunset is just done
>>
>>33955413
>FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR PLOTTING!

"Aren't you plotting right now?"

>That's different!
>>
What's Fluttershy up to?
>>
>>33955891
>Fluttershy
"Lunalt'
~~~

>....

"So is everyone around here stupid?"

>Depends, where are you from?

"...elsewhere."

>Everyone here is exactly as stupid as there.

"...oh..."

>...

"So, yes?"

>Little bit, yes.

"...Then we shall make them smart! Come, let us educate the masses!"

>That's not going to end well.

"Oh come now, all have that hidden desire to learn, and we shall nurture it! Let us see what can truly be brought to these minds!"

~~~

"Everyone! May we have your attention please! This... is a very basic scenario from any sort of show wherein a misunderstanding is held, and this is how you easily and effortlessly resolve it!"

~WITCHCRAFT!~

"...wait what-"

>Told you so.

~BURN THE WITCH!~

"OH NO!"
>>
>>33955903
Blame it on a zebra.

That'll fix it.
>>
>>
What's Sweetie Belle up to?
>>
>>33956922
Pretty much sums it up
>>
>>33957080
>Sweetie Belle
"Scootaloo"
~~~~

>Who are these made for!? Who!? They're not as open as sandals but they're not covered like shoes! They're the worst of both worlds!

"What are?"

>Crocs!

"Ohhhh... did I tell you my dad works with crocs?"

>Oh heeeere we go.

"Yeah! He was once in a pit with one for three... days."

>We were in a pit longer, feels like, and out giant lizard had a chainsaw.

"Yeah, he's pretty much the coolest dad ever."

>We know a dad who fought off an army with love bubble.

"And don't even get me started on my mom! Coolest mom ever!"

>One of them's a semigoddess.

"You know, it would be nice if you didn't act like such a jerk!"

>Would be nice if you didn't talk about your parents all the time who are absent but also do cool things!

"..."

>...

"Your parents are cool-"

>Don't lie to meeeeee!
>>
>>33955903
>Fluttershy
"Lunalt'
~~

"Quickly, new friend! Do a jig!"

>I'm not a dancing monkey.

"Do a jig!"

>...dadaaaa... da da daaa... dadada....

"That's a shanty you fool!"

>What's the difference?

~GASP! SHE DID A SHANTY! SHE'S A PIRATE!~

~BURN THE PIRATE!~

>Oh.

"You've doomed us all!"
>>
>>33957878
>Lunalt still works
Well I’ll be
>>
>>33957878
>Lunalt even works with Fluttershy

Guys I think it might not just be Ralt/Lunalt as a pair.
>>
>Rarity
"Ralt"
~~~

"How did it all go so wrong!?"

>I'm... sorry?

"You're a princess!"

>I am... and its sort of not all its cracked up to be.

"Lies! Lies come from your treasonous lips!"

>Oh... one of them. Just like how I used to be. You know, I was like that for a long time, I was sure that the moment I became a princess everything was going to be perfect, but now...

"How can it not be perfect!? You're a princess! Everyone must know your name!"

>Oh, and they do!.. Not for the best reasons.

"But what about the respect, the l'air royale!"

>Oh! You speak Prance too? Yeah... that doesn't really command as much as you'd think. Ponies absolutely respect the title, but I don't know if they respect me.

"But the eyes, the desire! Everyone must want to know you and be close to you!"

>They all were for the longest time... but then I got fat.

"NO!"

>Oh, terrible, darling.

"I-it must not be as bad as you're saying! A little pudgy pony is a bit of an air, but we've seen worse!"

>My old picture is over there.

"...where?"

>Step back.

Step step.

"I don't see it."

>Further.

Step step.

>Fuuuurther.

Step step step step... step.

"OH SWEET MERCIFUL FAUST!"

>Her eyes no longer look upon me, I feel.

"NOOOOOOOOO!
>>
>>33958064
Look up on your future and weep
>>
>>33958064
Crumbling crumbling crumbling down
>>
>>33958064
>She only learns this AFTER

oh god
>>
>>33958064
Teaching through sadness!
>>
>Ralt
"Rarity"
~~~~~

>Are you at least rich!?

"...I had to pay for a looooottt of damages-"

>NOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>33957878
We could have done this with Luna all this time
>>
>>33958607
Yeah, we could have.
>>
>>33958607
Well we kind of couldn't, as much as Lunalt and Ralt are a dynamite pair-and don't get me wrong they're absolutely killer chemistry wise and comedywise-we kind of... I guess the best way to put it was 'cheated' with them?

We introduced them already as friends, we didn't build up them becoming friends. They have a shared interest and history that came with the territory. Don't get me wrong, that didn't guarantee they would work, they still have to actually be interesting, but we skipped a step the "Real" Luna/Rar would have to go through to get their chemistry, IE figure out a reason for them to talk at all.
>>
>>33958624
I figured
>>
>>33958629
Still it's nice to a Luna doings things like this
>>
>>33958629
Honestly it probably just never occured to us to try them together because they didn't have shared interests, I feel like if we'd gotten the idea before it would have worked out just as well.
>>
>Lunalt
"Fluttershy"
~Crowd~
~~~

>Fear not, there is a way out of this! My beloved remains within me all the time, some part of him had to have rubbed off on me!

"...uh..."

>What?

~I GET IT!~

>Get what?

"Nevermind."

>No, all of you are smirking at something and I want to know!

~Bow chicka wow wow!~

>Speaking in code to my face!? That's just rude!

~He meant the whole hummana hummana part!~

>What, the Hasian food? I shall not touch it! It ruined our rump worse than our beloved's birthday!

~HA!~

>What?

"You have to know what they mean now."

>We do not! We sat on something sharp on his birthday, that's all! Right into the rear!

~Oh myyyyyyy.~

>Thine sympathy is appreciated! We are a mare who loves being treated tenderly!

~You look like you want to be treated roughly, I'd say!~

>We do not! We... waaiiiiittt... are you all talking about naughty things?

"And bingo."

>How dare you all! Perverts! PERVERTS!

~She's onto us!~

~CHEESE IT!~

~You'll never tell my mother if you don't know who I am!~

~I regret nothing!~

The crowd stampedes off.

"...Well, that worked."

>Huh, impressive. If we'd known talking about such things would be so effective, we would have told them about pretty much any night when our beloved is with us.

"I got it."

>Because he's not afraid to pin me down and F-

~~~~

>...

"..."

>...whrr dish sha geh sha shoap?

"Whereever it came from, its still cleaner than you."

>...eww.
>>
>>33958673
Why does this work so well?
>>
>Celestia
"Luna"
~~~~

>Huh, we actually missed the mob this time.

"Alas! We had prepared the beanbag cannons to disperse them!"

>...Luna, those are supposed to be for small beanbags, tiny ones.

"But we wish to hit a lot of ponies at once! Tis more efficient!"

>That thing is the size of a cart.

"An efficient one!"

>Put it away.

"Fine, but when thou wishes to fight non-lethally against a crowd, thine calls shall be ignored!"

>You're sure it's non-lethal, right? You tested it?

"Well we can't now!"
>>
>>33958064
>Ralt
"Rarity"
~???~
(???)
~~~~

>Okay... okay! Be calm about this, just take a deeeep breath...

"Oh dear, you really are into the admiration of princesses, aren't you? There there, I was just the same way and every bit as foolish in my youth! Now I'm older and much more... heavy."

>We're the same age!

"...you're sure?"

>Very!

"You're not quite that old!'

>Nngghh!

"So! Darling! Why don't we go back to talking about dresses!"

>...dresses... YES! DRESSES! This can still work! Your dresses are still the talk of the town, right? Everyone wants to wear what you have, surely! I mean I didn't recognize any out there, but surely that just means you've added some variety!

"Oh, very much so! Pretty much all of Canterlot buys from my business now!"

>Wonderful!

"Arana has been diligently working around the clock to weave her webs, and the new fabric has simply taken off! Its been a challenge just to keep it in stock, but she has managed to win the hearts of Canterlot over after she convinced them her webbing doesn't explode and won't control their minds! She hasn't been able to do it alone of course, she and Coco have worked together beautifully when the latter is done with her Drill Sargent Work!"

>...okay you threw a lot at me right there, I mean a lot. I feel like I could take a good five minutes to unpack every other line you just said and still not make much sense of it.

SLAM!

~Hooooo, I have just skittered my skiterrer off here...hi!~

(LISTEN UP YOU LOVELY PONIES! ITS TIME TO PUT OUR BOOPERSNOOPERS TO THE GRINDSTONE AND SMELLLL THE FIRE OF WORK! WE'RE GONNA CRACK SOME PLOT LIKE OPENING UP A NICE NOVEL AFTER A HARD DAY AND MAKE SOMEONE PRETTY LIKE THE NICE GIRL ON PROMNIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GOSH DARN WONDERFUL, AREN'T YOU!? GOSH DARN IT I LOVE THE SMELL OF FABRIC IN THE MORNING!)

>...What the fuck is that?

"Don't worry, everyone asks that, Arana is a changeling who-"

>I meant Coco!
>>
>>33959167
Oh, coco, i missed you so
>>
>>33959167
>She brushes off Arana
>Coco freaks her out

Ralt, you are gold
>>
>>33959487
She is consistently great
>>
Ralt and Lunalt have been tested. I think it is ok to say they can be good by themselves
>>
>>33959520
We'll obviously have to see if they have staying power or if they're just temporary hotness, but yeah so far they're still pretty funny. Or, at least, they're in funny stories.
>>
>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>...

"You've got a reaallllyyy far off look in your eyes."

>...

"What do you see?... Can you see through time?"

>...

"Quick! Which asshole is going to try to destroy Canterlot next week!"

>...

"Okay now you're working me."

>...

"Don't make me do it."

>...

"I'm not a dancing monkey, I don't do it for your amusement, I do it for mine!"

>...

"Fine, but only because there is no other way!... ahem...... MESSING UP SHINY'S PAAAAAPPPPPEERRRRRSSSS!"

>Gah what who!?

"It was a dark sacrifice, one I will never live down... but one that must be made."

>What's going on?

"You! What's up with you, ever since you left the bedroom its been like you're trapped in my mindzotz!"

>And you're worried about me?

"I'm worried someone will blame me!"

>But you didn't do anything.

"But this will set a precedence of them blaming me and they'll probably be right the next time!"

>...so your concern is out of two events, you've probably done something horrible in one of them?

"Awww, you said probably, you do trust me!"

>...

"So spill, what's up?"

>Its a personal thing.

"Ohhhh..."

>...

"Not working? Because I think if I use my tongue I can-"

>Please not now... not while I'm thinking about this.

"...'

>You're thinking about doing it, aren't you? Specifically because I said that.

"I have a problem..."
>>
>>33959707
Okay that was some Top Tier Chrysalis.
>>
>>33959707
>"I'm worried someone will blame me!"

I mean...
>>
>>
>>33960273
ART
>>
What's Discord up to?
>>
>>33960648
It's an older number sir, but it checked out
>>
>>33960273
Dose featherbutts
>>
>Cybolt
“Cybolt”
~~~~

>Wow he is taking a LONG time in there.

“Just.. what do you think she’s doing to him? Punching him hard in the face?”

>If he comes out with bruises, what do we do?

“Absolutely nothing because we don’t want to die.”

>That… doesn’t seem very noble of us.

“It’s not and we do nothing.”

>….Did you forget we’re kickass cyborgs?

“I totally forgot we’re kickass cyborgs.”

>Kick some ass if she messed with the Emperor?

“You know it.”

HOOF!

>Damn I love not being useless.
>>
How's your day?
KKA
>>
>>33961292
ok
retard
>>
>Pinkie
“DT”
‘Maud’
~~~~

>Sooo, we have all the music assets done!

‘And all the texture assets.’

>I mean, like, all of it. If we add anymore you’ll start crying.

‘Again.’

>Sooooo… how long is this gonna take?

“A long, long, long time to code, animate, and test.”

>…I’m gonna grab a snack, wanna come Maud?

‘I do.’

>You want anything?

“Leave me before I shoot you. Leeeeeeaaavveee.”

>I’mma getchu a parfait.

“…I like parfaits…”
>>
>>33961292
Dammit thought of a better way to rhyme
>>
>>33961298
>Celestia
“DT”
~~~

>So do you have to do this in my room?

“Try to move perfection and I will move… YOUR SOUL!”

>…

“FROM YOUR BODY!”

>…

“I’ve got nothing.”
>>
>Sombra
“29”
~~~~

>So what do you make of this whole.. alternate dimension thing?

“I wish to bed many royals from that world.”

>…Besides that?

“I guess we could theoretically use this to advance our civilization at a breakneck pace, and possibly even use this event to learn of our choices and think of ourselves philosophically on a whole new level! We could bring richness to two worlds and possibly reach a hundred more with our touch, and bring universes together in friendship and harmony!”

>…oh.

“But mostly you know, wish I could get me some royalty. Mmmm, royalty.”

>…you’re a very complicated bug.
>>
>Derpy
“Cloudchaser”
~Cheerilee~
~~~~

“Our education system is a nightmare!”

>She’s… she’s not wrong.

~Is this about the literal nightmares they all have after seeing a flayed pony stalk that halls? Because most of them get desensitized to that pretty quickly. Some might say much to quickly!~

“I’m talking about the setup! Year after year you teach the exact same students! Don’t you advance them? Do they not go up a grade? These ponies can’t all be the same age, the odds of this are astronomical considering what we know about Applebloom! So what gives? Are you holding ponies back, advancing your career at a suspiciously specific rate, or are you just the only teacher in this town or what!?”

>These are all really good questions!

~Oh, yes.~

>…

“…Okay-“

>No no, I want to hear it please.

~Yes I’m the only teacher in this town. Have you ever seen any other? ANY other? There’s only been one teacher since we were all kids.~

>…

“…huh!”

>That… that sounds like a massive oversight on our part. Like a MASSIVE oversight.’

“How did we get away with one teacher and still educate everyone?!”

~We didn’t.~

>…everything makes so much sense now.
>>
>>33961698
>AJ
“Celestia”
~~~~

>Tia? Gotta quest-

“I DO NOT HANDLE THE MANAGEMENT OF HIRING EDUCATORS IN TINY TOWNS FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY WOULD I DO THAT!?”

>Fair enough.
>>
>>33960654
>Discord
“Fluttershy”
‘Lunalt’
~~~

>Well helloooo there…

“Oh, hello Discord… why are you looking at me like that?”

‘He likely wished to cause chaos… in thine bowels.’

>Who’s your friend? I do so love meeting new friends!

“I didn’t get her name!”

‘I didn’t give it!’

>…

“…”

‘…hmm…’

“I’m choosing to ignore that.”

>Fluttershy! Why so cold?

“Her friend insulted Rarity’s dresses.”

‘She’s a little more than a friend.’

“Marefriend?”

‘Not exactly?’

“Best friend?”

‘…actually yes, that one also fits. She is a rather fun mare when you get to know her and I like her better than the others!’

“I’m choosing to stop right there.”

>You’re sure? Who knows what shenanigans we can get up to with a simple question!

“Exactly.”

>Oh poo, you’re no fun. I for one am going to pry into this interesting mare’s life!

‘We suddenly feel like calling the guard…’

“Is she really that important?”

>She’s very… interesting…

“…”

‘…We do not consent?”

>Yes we do!

SNAP!
>>
>>33961292
My day is going well! I've been catching up on the threads I missed, so much to read through! But I'm almost completely caught up and working on an update while I read, so I should have one ready before the thread has to drop.

Thanks for checking in!
>>
>>33962297
That's good to hear
>>
>>33962306
Honestly its been really fun to see the AJ sidestory, Sebjeck and Delight surprised me with how fun they are.
>>
>>33961698
>“How did we get away with one teacher and still educate everyone?!”
>~We didn’t.~
>>…everything makes so much sense now.

Deepest lore!
>>
>>33962609
How do we come up with such lore?
>>
>>33962676
We never could, the show brought such brilliance to the world, we are but the heralds to speak of their wonders, chronicles to try and decipher their wisdom! I bow to those writer and their choices.
>>
>>33962681
Truly, we are blessed
>>
>>33962041
So Discord is gonna fuck with Lunalt, because he probably senses she's allllll kinda different.

Neat.
>>
>>33962952
I mean of all then Someone train drained has to just look pretty freaky
>>
>>33962684
Hail the lazy character designers
>>
>Pinkie
"Maud"
~~~

>So! You never told me about your coltfriend, is he nice?

"To me."

>Is he caring?

"To me."

>...is he annoying?

"Not to me."

>Then I'm good!

"I thought you'd be more unfavorable about this."

>You know, I would have been, but then I had to deal with Chrysalis and Chitania and Sunset and eeeverybody else who's been just a huge ol' pain in my patooty like nothing anyone could ever match, and I think to myself... nah its fine. Is he that bad? Nah? Then... its fine...

"...you are surrounded by bad individuals."

>My fellow pink blew up a building...
>>
>Cloudchaser
"Derpy"
~~~

>Alright then! Here's how we're going to fix our education system!

"Hire more teachers?"

>...y... yes.

"..."

>It was that, not turn the children into child fighters, I swear.

"...'

>GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!
>>
>>33962952
>You know, there's something off about you...

"Errr-"

>Oh! Giant ass, I get it!

"I DO NOT!"
>>
What's Daw up to?
>>
>>33964240
>Daw
"PJ"
~~~~

>Ow.

"Ow."

>Ow.

"Owwwww."

>Owwwwieeeee.

"...This was dumb."

>This was SUPER dumb.

"Why did we think giant foam sticks were okay?"

>They're not.

"They suck."

>Ow.

"Fucking Equestrian Gladiators, you are a liar."

>We'll sue.

"We're going to sue the not-pants of them!"

>...later.

"When the pain stops."

>Owwwww.
>>
>Dash
"Storm King"
~~~

>Wow, that guy can move.

"Yeah, but he's still got to die."

>Excuse me!?

"Him. That one. He's got to die."

>Why!?

"He wrecked my entire fleet!"

>He's saving your soldiers!

"But not me, so why would I care?"

>Seriously dude? You were gonna kill him.

"And still am! I'm laterally moving, I'm not moving up or down. So long as I'm not moving down from choosing not to kill him, he really has nothing to complain about."

>Okay you know what? I'm just going to ask a really basic question here.

"Shoot."

>Why would you tell me this while I can still let you die in a serious moment?

"Because its important to be up front with how I really feel."

>...

"Isn't it?"

>Context. You need... you need to think about the context.

"Flipflopping ponies!"
>>
>Grand Pear
“AUJ”
~~~

>…

“…”

>…

“Ya’ll can ask if you want.”

>Can… can you make the wrinkles go away on-

“No.”

>Awww.

“…Ah’m sorry.”

>Me too…
>>
>>33963846
Mud Briar legit sucks but then again he's supposed to.
>>
>SA
"42"
~~~

>...

"I sense someone... LOOKING AT ME!"

>...

"Aha! Clearly you thought I would not notice the subtitles of your view, but I see through your vacant stare! I know now what needs to be done! I see you!"

>...

"Your stare will not hold me! POKE ATTACK!"

Poke.

>Ow! Forty Two, what the Love!?

"I have beaten you!"

>...what?!

"You made me feel uncomfortable and this is how I dealt with it."

>....WHAT?!

"I win."
>>
>SA
"18"
~~~

>...

"Oh no! The paperwork monster ate your soul too! GIVE IT BACK! THAT'S MY SEXY STALLION SOUL YOU SUCKER! BEGONE TTTHOT!"

SMACK

>Gah! Why!?

"Legit concerns over your soul!"

>I... what!? I'm just thinking!

"Do you ant me to assume everything's okay and then you lose your soul?"

>I... I guess not?

"Then you're welcome."

>...what did you call me, again?

"I called IT a Tthot."

>...

"Terrible transcendent tapeworm holding onto that."

>That?

"Exactly."

>...this is what I get for thinking?
>>
>>33964672
>SA
"Two"
~~~

>...

"Ya' thinkin' about math?"

>No, sweetie.

"...Science?"

>Sort of.

"...poetry?"

>Of life, maybe.

"Ain't that what's all poetry is about?"

>Could be about moons.

"Moons are life."

>...huh.

"...Ya' wanna juicebox? Makes me feel better."

>Sure.

Sip.

>...

"...Feel better?"

>I always feel better when I see you.

"Awww. So no more thinkin'?"

>..eh.

"Ah'll take it.
>>
>>33964814
Awwww
>>
>>33964984
Take Two when you need to feel better.
>>
>>33965118
...Not a bad slogan.
>>
>>33965289
It would be rather confusing though
>>
>>33965380
There is like 1 Two in the world it can't be that confusing
>>
>>33965628
Obviously
>>
>>33965628
>SA
"Two"
~~~

>...There's only 1 Two?

"Yep! Just me!"

>Er, sweetie...

"..."

>....good slogan.

"Ah' know it!
>>
>Cyguard
"Cyguard'
~~~

>...

"...'

>My wife wouldn't cheat on me, right?

"Of course not, dude, she loves you!"

>Yeah... yeah, I'm being silly, I just got it in my head eventually the Emperor would spot her and-

"Wait with the Emperor?"

>...y...yeah?

"..."

>She still wouldn't right?

"...So uh, how about this weather? Easily controlled!"

>oh
>>
OOCO
>Spike
"Twilight"
~~~

>You ever had a butter sandwich?

"What?"

>Butter sandwich. You put a piece of toast with butter on both sides in the middle of two slices, butter sandwich.

"Wouldn't that be a toast sandwich? If you put mayo on an avocado sandwich, it's not a mayo sandwich now."

>The main focus is the butter though, toast doesn't have any flavor next to it.

"So then why not leave out the toast?"

>Something has to absorb the butter, or it'll make the bread soggy.

"So why not put butter between two slices of toast?"

>Then it would be a toast sandwich, there's more toast than anything else.

"...I see the logic. No, I've never had one."

>Cool, you want to try one?

"It does sound interesting, but it has a lot of cholesterol."

>True, true...

"But you know, I do kind of want to try it."

>Even though it doesn't make sense?

"Yeah, it doesn't, but on the other hoof it sounds interesting, so why not try it? Whip me up one."

>Coming right up.

"Thanks."

>No problem.

"..."

>I ate your focal crystal for your microscope.

"SPIKE WHY!?"

>Because it didn't make sense but sounds interesting.

"SPIKE!"

>At least give me an E for Effort!
>>
>>33966633
That was a lot of effort for that joke, so he gets one from me
>>
>18
"42"
'Chrysalis'
~Spitfire~
~~~~

>BUGFIRE MEETING!

"Oh! I get it! Because we're bugs and all use fire."

'Except you!'

~Hey!~

'Its alright, Spitfire, I know you like her but we can't let these lies stand! You have to accept the fact you can't use fireflight, Eighteen!'

>It was for Spitfire so she could feel included!

'And she is! Hi hoof, Spitty!'

~...~

'Betrayal. Forty Two, save that hoof.'

Clop!

'She's a good girl and gets biscuits.'

>Will you stop, we need to focus on Shining and Cadence!

'Okay... mmmm, sexy.'

>I meant their mental states!

'Can do.... mmmm, brain waves.'

>Focus!

'Nnnngggh... nope, not working, can't see into their minds.'

>That's not what I want!

'Was that made clear?'

"She could be more clear for you."

>Hey!

"I want biscuits."

~It was super clear what she meant.~

'No biscuit for you!'

~I have cookies.~

'Cookies are biscuits.'

~...Shut the front door.~

>This is why we don't do meetings.
>>
>Ralt
"Rarity"
'Arana'
~~~

>So you don't make all the dresses yourself-

"Most boutique owners don't? I'm not an island."

>You aren't in a whirlwind romance-

"I might be, you don't know. With all the wreckage we've both left in our wakes, likening us to a whirlwind is, if anything, an understatement-aw now I'm sad again."

>And you aren't even a beloved princess!

"Some ponies love me... some of them..."

>And your wares are assembled by something that freaks out the customers!

'Aw...'

>I meant Coco!

'Aw!'

"Arana no."

'I don't have much, don't take it from me...'

>But!... At least you are good at doing princess matters, correct? Diplomacy? Management? Paperwork?

"...Arana, is there room in the vent?"

'They'll hear you cry again.'

"I have pillows."

>NNOOOOOOOOOO!
>>
>>33966873
What have we been doing with Rarity?
>>
>>33967033
Nothing. Well she was going to go on a date with Spike and all that, but the foreign invaders sort of interfered with that.
>>
>>33967033
Fat jokes
>>
>>33966873
>With all the wreckage we've both left in our wakes, likening us to a whirlwind is, if anything, an understatement-
..shes not wrong
>>
>>33967033
>>33967047
We actually did have a running sideplot of her being the one to see how the 'normal' ponies reacted to princesses and the moral downsides of the privilege she was granted, like when she got into a fight with Buttercup and despite being in the wrong sort of-Spike WAS spying and she just grabbed him before Rar went hogwild on her-she not only got off completely but the others advised Buttercup not to make much of a fuss about it, Princess gotta Princess. Then we saw it again during Chitania's blasting when she was let off again despite nearly nuking everyone.

We kinda dropped that though, but we could pick it back up.
>>
>Lunalt
"Discord"
~Fluttershy~
~~

>ABSOLUTELY NOT!

"What's the matter, it's just tea?"

The angry pointing she did would mean nothing to anyone who didn't know of her hidden horn, and it meant even less without any magic to back it up, but she was going to imagine shooting him at least once.

~Discord, what did I say about randomly abducting strangers?~

"I introduced myself and learned about her before I ever touched her, we're hardly strangers at all! Mere steps from besties, even! Isn't that right, new friend?"

>BURN IN THE FIRES OF TARTARUS!

"See?"

~I'm sorry, he's usually not like this... are you alright?~

Her eyes trailed down, to where a set of hooves tightly wrapped around her midsection.

~Did you get queasy with the teleportation? That happens sometimes, it-~

She twitched violently and hissed when Discord floated near her.

~...Erm, Discord, you made sure to be... careful when you teleported her, right?~

"Oh, that! Of course, I made sure to use a standard spacerip rather than reconstruction, you see the difference is one of them is disassembled and reassembled-"

>IF YOU HAVE THEN FURY WILL-

"And then there's what I did for you! Which was just opening a hole in space and dropping us all through. It takes a lot more chaos magic of course, but in the end its ensures nothing unseemly or strange happens to the body! Why, for you, it was no different than stepping through a door, so nothing strange should happen with your body."

>...oh.

She relaxed slightly, even if she did seem suspicious.

"Except of course, lack of tea! A terrible condition, that. We can't have that! Taste some!"

>...we're good.

~Ohhh.~

The yellow pony perked up, as if a lightbulb had gone off in her head.

~...oh. Discord!~

"Hush hush, Fluttershy! We have so much to discuss with our new friend! Do you like this dimension? I know its a little different from the one you're used to, but I'm sure you don't mind a little hopping from one universe to another!"

>...come again?

1/2
>>
>>33967362

Suspicious eyes followed the snake as he wiggled around her.

"Oh, nothing at all! So, tell us about yourself, I'm terribly interested!"

>What... why would you care about me?

She looked to the yellow pony for guidance, but found only curiosity.

~That's... actually a good question, he normally isn't like this.~

>A scheming snake? We doubt that...

She followed him as he floated around her, slapping on silly faces and a little halo over his head.

>We don't even know what that means!

"Oh right, thinking of other universes again."

He snapped his fingers and it was replaced by horns and a wing.

"Better?"

>Oh eat thine own excretions!

"Touchy, must be a princess fan."

He flicked his tail and tossed the offending appendages aside.

"But really now, I just wanted to have a sit down and talk, is there anything wrong with that?"

He fluttered his eyelashes at Fluttershy, who raised a single eyebrow in response.

>We did not ask for this!

~Discord, she's right, we can't just abduct ponies and make their friends upset.~

His face fell, a good two feet down at that, and he grumpily raised his fingers.

~So the minute she's done talking with Rarity, and I mean the absolute second mister, you put her right back so that poor mare doesn't get worried, understood?~

His fingers froze, but his eyes lit up.

~So! Where do you come from? I know a mare who looks almost exactly like you, but she's so different! Do you know Fluer De Lis by any chance?~

>...Never heard of her. But really, you can just put me back.

~Oh no, I wouldn't want to make you sit around all by yourself on a street corner. Canterlot is very safe, but its just so boring and meeting new ponies is so much fun! And besides...~

With nothing less than an angelic smile, the yellow hooves reached down, plucked up a teacup, and sipped.

~If Discord finds you interesting, then I'd love to know why...~

>Er...

She looked left, and right, but there was no escape.

~So... what did you say your name was?
>>
>>33967363
SHE KNOWS
>>
>>33967363
I like that they’re on a wavelength
>>
>>33967390
Discord isn’t exactly being subtle
>>
>>33967363
Dundundun
>>
>>33967631
It’s not that bad
>>
>>33967047
>Well she was going to go on a date with Spike and all that, but the foreign invaders sort of interfered with that.

They had nothing to do with that, he got stuck in the lab.
>>
>>33968171
They did have something to do with it since their staged attack and continued presence distracted the two of them from their plans long enough for him to get to the point where he'd get stuck in the lab.
>>
>>33967896
It's fine
>>
>>33967408
She's pretty much the only one who understands him
>>
>>33969006
Das love mate
>>
>Ralt
"Rarity"
~Arana~
~~~~

>Nggghhh!

"I think I broke her."

~You do that a lot.~

"Arana!"

~I meant cause you're so smart!~

"..."

~Please don't fire me.~

"Arana, I would never do that!... I can't afford anyone else."

>You don't even pay her!?

"No no! I do! I pay her well! There was a whole thing about this and I have crossed the threshold so this is NOT slavery! I made sure of it, no slavery here!"

>You have to clarify that?

"Yes but only because it looked that way!"

~I sleep in the vents.~

"Arana we talked about this!"
>>
NC
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>So its prettymuch canon ya'll wanna retire asap and get out of here to go party, right?

"...of all the things for us to be right about..."
>>
>>33970387
NC
>Altlestia
"Celestia"
~~~~~

>You know I'm riiiiiggghhhhttt!

"FUCK YOU!"
>>
>>33970387
Yeah, kinda weird bout that
>>
NC
>Luna
"Celestia"
~~~

>So wait, I'm still the boring one?

"Yep, like early threads."

>...

"Stop it."
>>
Very Much Canon Fuck You
>Celestia
"Luna"
~~~~~
>HELL YEAH I'M GOTH NOW WOOHOO

"I'm... I'm cool too......"
>>
>>33970866
Reminder that LUNA is the one who chose to look like an 80's valleygirl and make Celly a goth.
>>
>>33970818
Which is ironic because now Alt-Luna is the fun one.
>>
>Ralt
"Rarity"
~Arana~
(???)
{???}
~~~~

>Breath, darling, breath!

"I'm not breathing hard-"

>I meant me!

~You got real problems about vocalizing who's what to you, did anyone ever tell you that?~

>I just don't know how to take this, it's like looking in a funhouse mirror!

"I resent that."

>From the evil universe!

"...there's an evil one?"

~Isn't that us?~

"Arana we talked about this."

~We talk about a lot, it's hard to keep track of it all.~

>I can't even say at least the dresses are okay! That underwear is so tacky!

"It is not."

>IT SAYS JUICY ON THE FRONT!

"...Arana, why does it-"

~You accepted the sponsorship from Juicy Jam so you could pay me backpay.~

"Ah. Right. I'm not allowed to call it tacky, am I?"

~Breach o' contract.~

"Then it is not tacky."

>YOU LIE!

SLAM!

"Oh look, a distraction!"

(FELLOW PRINCESS! We have need of thee to agree with us!)

"Oh no, a distraction."

(Just agree with what we say and we shall leave!)

SLAM!

{Don't listen to her!}

~Don't slam the doors! I gotta buff out those scuffs you know!~

{She is wrong and I will not have it!}

"Celestia, Luna, perhaps this isn't the best time?"

(Just agree! Is a shawl not like a big scarf? We just learned of what it was and she disagrees with us!)

{It's not! It covers too much! It would be a high vest if it was anything!}

"Celestia's right-"

>Luna's right-

>"...Seriously!?"

"How is it like a big scarf!? How!?"

>It goes around the shoulders and neck!

"So do most shirts, but not every shirt is a really low scarf!"

>But shawls don't wrap around the underside of the forelegs!

"They can!"

>But they're not supposed to!

"Fashion is not so limiting!"

>That's bullplop and you know it!

"I will not be disrespected in my boutique!"

>Then let the Spider loan it back to you because you clearly don't deserve respect in these walls!

"OH NO YOU DID NOT!"

1/2
>>
>>33971107
>"...I can't stop hurting myself."
Low key brilliant
>>
>>33971103

(...you heard her, I'm right.)

{Rarity agreed with me!}

(Yes but the other one agreed with me and she would know.)

{HOW!?}

(We know a thing about fashion.)

{So do I!}

(...someone who wore a dress that poofy is going to say that?)

{My dress is not poofy, thank you! Unlike your fat stomach!}

(OH NO THOU DIDST NOT!)

~So, uh... can I get you girls anything? Princesses? I'm happy you could come visit!~

"I will throw you from my store by your wanna-be hoity hair!"

>I have the exact same manestyle as you!

"...I can't stop hurting myself."

(I may have weight to me, but at least its distributed better, unlike all if it being in your ass!)

{What do you mean, it seems to go to yours a lot-OH WAIT THATS YOUR FACE!}

(NO YOU DID NOT!)

~I'll go get some little cucumbers, ponies like those. Get some cheese on there, makes it pop.~

>"({NO! YOU! DID! NOOOOOOOOOOOT)}"
>>
>>33971138
>Arana still top tier
>>
>>33971138
I don't get the last part
>>
>>33971192
>Siblings and Rars are saying mean things to the response of no you did not in varying levels
>>
>>33971138
The battle of all time
>>
>>33971138
>Arana
"Everyone'
~~

>You guys want some tea?

"FUCK YOUUUUUU!"

>Watchin' the sugar intake, I getcha, sparkling water it is!
>>
>>33971138
>Ralt takes Luna's side

Classic
>>
Gnight thread
>>
>>33972254
And good morning to you
>>
>>33971412
The battle!?
>>
>Cadence
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>Did I mess up?

"GAH!... DID YOU JUST NINJA ME!? Did you just ninja ME!? You can't sneak up on me! I'm the sneaky one! This is my gig! You can't take it from me!'

>Well you took the thing from me, so... yeah, suck it up.

"...aw, now I feel like I lost."

>You did.

"This is a terrible feeling thats never happened to me before! This is entirely new!"

>...

"I don't like this!"

FWOOSH!

>...good talk.
>>
>>33973410
>Chrysalis
"SA"
~~~~~

FWOOSH!

>SHINY! Caddy's ninjaing me and making me feel like I lost maybe more than once, make her stop!

"...you want me to make the bright pink pony stop being as much a ninja as you, the changeling?"

>Yes!

"And for her not to make you feel like you lost."

>YES!

"...So, uh, can we reprogram the portal, or-"

>MEANIE!

FWOOSH!

"Good talk."
>>
>>33973510
>Chrysalis
"Two"
~~~

FWOOSH!

>Tell me I'm right!

"Yer' right except when ya' ain't."

>SHOOT! You've grown smart!

~BAAWWWW~

"Also, ya' woke the baby."

>On you!

FWOOSH!

"...good talk."

~BAWWWW!
>>
>Dash
"Storm King"
'Sebjek'
(???)
{???}
~~~~

>Wow he is really good at dodging.

Sure to the pony's words, the morlock danced like he had never danced before away from the creatures and their snapping maws and slashing claws. Even though the hoard had been thinned, it was considerably more than they would have been comfortable with, but he seemed able to stay one step ahead of them every time.

"Punch them in the face or something, why are you just dodging! Retaliate!"

'Can't.'

He sounded unnaturally calm as he said that, not even a hint of worry of the teeth snapping directly above his head.

'I'm not very strong.'

>Seriously?

'Morlocks are good at avoiding, unless we are warriors we do not fight back.'

"So why are you out there!?"

'Like I said-'

The hoard had just about stood up when a massive rock fell on a very large number of them. Even the hardened Storm King winced when he heard the crunching sounds mingled with the splattering noises.

'Distraction.'

The dragon screeched in rage as it looked to the fallen creatures, whatever strange calm had washed over it while they were merely incapacitated had given way to anger the moment the dead eyes had spotted the pitch black, glowing blood left in their wake. It screeched again when another stone rolled down the hill beside them, leaving even more splatters and mess in its wake.

(YEEHAW-ow.)

The pony winced as she clutched her side, her happy little dance now thoroughly soured.

{WOO! Its working! Princess, more! Gimme more!}

She glared at him for interrupting her moments of pain, but could not hold it. She gave up and bowed her head low once more, relying on her magic to summon forth the roundest, deadliest and biggest rock she could find beneath their position. Once it had emerged, the pegasi wasted no time shoving it over to the edge with surprisingly powerful muscles, and after careful aiming, rolling it towards the biggest mass of creatures.

{Highscore!}

1/2
>>
>>33973864

He held up a hoof for her to meet, then noticed her gaze and slowly lowered it.

{...I'm sorry, was this inappropriate?}

(Course it was.)

{Ah... well, now I feel-}

(Game ain't over yet, why ya' celebratin' when ya' might get a bigger score? Get back in the game!)

His sad look gave way to confusion, then a smile.

{Load me up, Applemama!}

(How did ya' make that sound sexual?)

{Because you're sexy?}

She paused mid rise of the newest weapon.

{Too far?}

(Little inappropriate fer' yer' boss.)

{Eighteen, Forty Two, Spitfire-}

(Point taken. Kick dang it! Buck like ya' mean it!)

{I'm actually more of a front loaded guy.}

(...Ah' have never been so ashamed to be on a teamup in mah' life.)

{Aw.}

>DRAGON!

(Yeah, Dash, we know about the-TARNATION!)

It was a good thing that the pegasi could fly as fast as he could run his mouth, or both of them would have been nothing but red stains underneath a giant tree trunk.

{How the heck can he hold that when-oh ew. Ew ew ew. That's gross.}

The splatter if discolored blood only amplified the sickness in his chest, and it was only a sheer miracle that neither he nor his passenger were splattered when the treetrunk took another swing. Only when both were clear did he wretch again, and try not to look. He looked.

(Whelp...)

Both of their gazed were stuck on his mangled hand, which the dragon had impaled on a rather tall tree in lieu of a traditional grip. Every time it moved, they could hear bones crunching inside and being torn by bark, it was nothing short of insantiy the whole thing didn't rip into chunks.

(He's dedicated at least.)

>MOVE IT AJ!

They did indeed move as fast as they cou.d

'So... is plan same? Should I keep here like you said, or-'

>"({DODGE!})"

Dodge he did, just out of the way of the wild dragon swings.

'Pony is making new plan, understood.'
>>
>>33973865
Dawww, AJ likes him.
>>
>>33973865
>>"({DODGE!})"
Hahaaaa TFS
>>
>>33973865
>Kong ain't got SHIT on me
>>
>>33974004
Godzilla Vs Kong any minute now
>>
>>33974118
We have a monkey for this exact reason!
>>
>>33973865
>Pommel
"Daw"
~???~
~~~

>I should've gone with the princess.

"Which one?"

>Applejack.

"Ohhh, why? Because you want to protect her?"

>Because then I wouldn't have to PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT!

~FEEL MY WRAAATTHHHH!~

>Miss Rarity please, I'm sure your sequins are fine!

~WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?~

>Oh damn.

"Typical Colt, understands nothing."
>>
>>33973337
THE battle, of all time.
>>
>>33973865
Props for Delight being useful
>>
>>33973865
>{I'm actually more of a front loaded guy.}
>(...Ah' have never been so ashamed to be on a teamup in ma

Isn't Dash all foreleg power?
>>
>>33974788
Why do you think that Dash had to force her way in?
>>
>>33975011
That's what Salt said
>>
>>33975095
....ow
>>
>>33975119
Hey, tit for tat
>>
File: 42366.png (84 KB, 269x303)
84 KB
84 KB PNG
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
{Celestia}
[AJ]
=???=
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and we post when we feel like it!

{I'm the tallest one.}

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one…'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'{Now for our main segment…LOVE LOVE HIGH!!!}'"

>HAAAAAIL CELESTIA-SAMA!

"'[Hail.]'"

{This school is corrupt! It is our duty as members of the Student Council to unite the school and reform it.}

[Wow, so teaming up with the vampire totally backfired. Who'da thunk it?]

"I never thought I'd lose the hearts of the school professing my love to Celestia-sama like that."

{DT-Chan, are there any positive letters to me?}
DT throws a sack into the incinerator.
'Nope, all death threats and this is all before lunch.'

>This is terrible! So many ponies hate you now, Celestia-sama! What are we going to do?

{Fear not, Pinkie-chan. I have another plan. We must show the students that we have power.}

[…but y'all don't. Y'all are just figureheads. How many votes did y'all even get?]

'Three whole votes.'

{That's why we must convince the students in ROTC to become our strength.}

"Oh ho, military support?"

{Exactly.}

>They have a ridiculous amount of airsoft guns.

'All they have is quantity. Their guns are weak compared to my faithful TBDAGIATU.'

[It's a bold idea, but how are we going to convince them to join us?]

>Blackmail?

{What? No! …hm maybe, but let me do the talking first.}

"Who's even the head of the ROTC club?"

Somewhere else Rainbow Dash uses an airsoft gun to shoot a mosquito off a desk.
=Tango down.=
>>
>>33975322
>TBDAGIATU

Slow clap
>>
>>33975322
Another one joins the fight
>>
>>33975402
And another ones on and another ones on, another one damn that's right
>>
>>33975322
Dash is doing Faust's work
>>
>>33975805
Well they are vampires so yeah?
>>
>>33976304
>Faust
"Craig"
~~~~

>Common misconception, I actually have no issue with the vampire race, that my symbols hurt them is mere coincidence coinciding with various allergies, nothing more!

"So why'd you make them all allergic to them?"

>Because FUCK EWES!
>>
>>33976563
"If you hate them so much, why don't you do something about it?"

>Haven't you seen the show? THEY WON!
>>
>Cadence
"Flurry"
~~~~

>I am not dressed for this event. I thought I was but I'm not.

"BAAHHHHH!"

>I thought the armor style would be enough.

"BAWWWWWW!"

>I was wrong.

"BAWWWW!"

>Flurry, sweetie? Its mommy underneath all the padding.

"BAWWWW!"

>Mommy is sorry she scared you walking in like this.

"BAWWWWWWW!"

>Please put mommy down.

"BAWWWW-"

CRASH!

>...That counts as you listening to me.
>>
>>33976792
>Two
"Cadence"
~~~~~

>Ya' okay, mommy?

"If another one comes out as a terror its him! ITS HIM! HE'S THE ONE WHO DID THIS! It didn't come from my family! You see any neurotic nutcases on my side of the family?! NO!"

>Ah' never met'cher family.

"...why do you hurt me."
>>
Alright, here's the talk between 13 and Agent guy. I kept trying to condense it to essentials and need a few of you to look at it to make sure it's kosher before dropping because it's 8 posts and I'd rather glaring plot holes get ironed out beforehand.
https://pastebin.com/hTkipkcC
>>
>>33976867
Reading now and doublechecking
>>
>>33976867
The only thing to correct is Salt ruling for more than half a year, AUJ had two Hearth Warmings so minimum he was nearly a year, maximum over a year, and fix the
>anywayu=s
At the last post.

Other than that I'm not noticing a glaring plothole or anything.
>>
>>33976867
No plot holes but a lot to comment on, will say more when it drops for discussion
>>
>13
"Fizzle"
~???~
~~~

>...Did you hear that?

"Hear what? Is someone screaming or something?"

>No. Not a scream. It was more like... a call... A vaguely familiar one.

"Hmm... Nope. Nothing. You sure it's not your mind powers playing tricks or whatever?"

>It's not.

She looks around, Fizzle joining in somewhat half-heartedly, and focuses on the sound.

By now, the crowd had dispersed and the two of them were some hallways away from ground zero with nary another soul in sight.

At least until she saw him.

Down the hallway, peering at them from around a corner, stands a unicorn, his eyes obscured by sunglasses with lenses colored a very familiar shade of green.

"The hell's his problem? Hey! What are you looking at? You want a piece of this, huh?!"

The unicorn leans out and beckons them, the call she heard growing somewhat louder as his horn glows with magic.

"Looks like he wants to throwdown."

>I think he just wants to talk.

"Why doesn't he just come up and do it, then?"

He beckons them harder and points towards a camera.

>I think he wants to talk in private.

"About what?"

>I don't know.

"Can't you just read his mind?"

>It'd probably be less illegal to just talk to him.

"Tch."

>What's with you?

"I just don't wanna get dragged into another sob story or whatever."

>What?

"I mean, just look at him!"

~Miss Changeling.~

They turn with a start to see the stallion now a few feet away from them, his horn still glowing and brows creased tiredly.

~Can we talk? Please?~

Regaining her composure, she notices the call has grown silent, replaced by a quiet static.

"We're talking now, aren't we?"

~Her. I only want to talk to her specifically.~

"Well, fuck you, too. I've got better things to do anyways."

He moves to leave, but looks to Thirteen and hesitates before settling against a nearby wall.

~Like loitering?~

"Gonna do something about it?"

Instead of responding, the unicorn looks to Thirteen again.

"Thought so."
1/8
>>
>>33976930
~Miss Changeling. Do you consent to come with me for a moment?~

She looks to Fizzle, then back to the unicorn.

All things considered, the possibility of this being some sort of trap was real enough.

But at the same time, surely he'd know there were more effective ways to lure her into a trap if that was his aim.

Then again, maybe he knew she'd think that and this was all a roundabout way to get her to drop her guard.

~Miss Changeling? Have you made a decision?~

There's tension in his voice. Nervousness. Awkwardness?

>...Yes... I'll go with you.

And with a sigh, it all seemed to melt away for a moment before he caught himself and straightened up.

~Then follow me. If you consent.~

He turns to lead her and, after glancing at Fizzle for a moment, she follows after him.

>...Your horn is still glowing.

~I know.~

>Why?

~As a safety precaution.~

>I'm not going to read your mind. On purpose.

~Not with my spell active, you're not. And I heard that.~

>So, you've tested this spell on changelings?

There's a pause to his next step.

~The spell is a mental protection based on an approximation of a changeling's ability.~

>So, no. It's ok to say no, because I'm not going to read your mind.

~On purpose.~

>I deserved that... Does that mean that call you did earlier was an approximation, too?

~Of a frequency certain insects communicate with, yes.~

>So, you basically tried to call out to me like I'm a giant bug.

~Oh, look, we've arrived at our destination and can move on from this!~

Sure enough, the unicorn comes to a stop before a sealed door.

Deftly, he fiddles with a panel at its side and the door slides open, revealing a command center of sorts as the scent of dust tickles her nose.

~Hold on for a moment.~

In a flash of light, magic washes over the room in a methodical back and forth sweep.

The sweep comes to a stop, but a noticeable sheen of magic still covers the walls as the unicorn steps inside and motions for her to follow.
2/8
>>
>>33976934
>Another security precaution?

~Yes. Speaking of. I want to make sure you're not bugged. Er. Being surveiled. Do you consent?~

>Uh, sure.

Magic washes over her, fading a moment later.

~You're clean. In the interest of privacy, I'm going to close the door and seal the room with a soundproof cloak. At any time during our discussion, you're free to leave by simply pressing the button on the side of the door. Do you consent?~

She glances down the path and bend they'd come from, briefly catching a glimpse of white scales.

>Uh, yes.

He nods tersely before closing the door and casting another spell, then makes his way to a nearby table.

She follows after, taking note of the sizable room and the monitoring system at one of its ends, which somewhat resembled the one in Twilight Sparkle's lab.

~Please, take a seat.~

Attention flicking back to him, she notices he'd pulled out a chair for her.

>I'll stand, thank you.

~Shoot yourself- ERR! SUIT yourself! Suit... Suit yourself."~

>...

Stiffly, his hoof moves to push the chair back in. And misses.

~Err.~

Several times.

~So!~

His magic hastily forcing the chair back in place, he stiffly strides up to her and puts on a semblance of composure.

~In the interest of professional exchange before we get to why I brought you here, I believe introductions are in order. You can call me Soundcheck. I work as an agent of the crown, specializing in surveilance and communications.~

>I'm 13.

~...Is that a declaration of non-consent due to age?~

>No, that's what you can call me. Thirteen. Or Changeling 13 if you want to get technical.

~Is that your codename?~

>No, it's my name.

~That's not a name, it's a designation. Something a drone would get saddled with.~

>I know you know what a changeling is, so this really shouldn't come as a surprise to you. If it bothers you that much just, I don't know, make it a name?

~Fair enough... Miss Thirteen. Do you consent to being called that?~

>Sure.
3/8
>>
>>33976939
~Then we'll get to why I brought you here. Your being a changeling, on top of the clearance you, your boss, and all of your acquaintances have been given, has made you a subject of interest to me.~

Just like that, things clicked into place and she felt a twinge of fear.

>You've been spying on me.

A fear she wouldn't allow herself to show, choosing instead to narrow her eyes and stand taller.

~Err. Yes. Through the hallway surveillance system. I spotted you wandering into one of the rooms, but you never left. Only Prin... Celestia and Shining Armor did.~

The twinge returned, subdued somewhat by her curiosity in his choice of words.

~I couldn't find any trace of you when I searched it and the next time I saw you under surveillance, you were clearly distressed. So my question is: what exactly happened there?~

>...Why do you want to know?

~Because it could be useful.~

>How do you figure that?

~Because you wouldn't be distressed otherwise.~

>For all you know, I could have just seen them having sex.

~That's not distressful.~

>Seeing that guy have sex with a sweaty, dirty, chunky, planet-sized version of a mare that basically used to be everyone's mom wouldn't be distressful?

The unicorn dry heaves.

>See?

~But we both know that's not what happened! So please, just tell me what did.~

>And if I refuse?

~You're free to leave at any point, Miss Thirteen. I technically don't have the authorization to arrest you even if you did something illegal.~

>...I saw them talking. He gave her a bag full of bits and told her to go to, well, my Equestria I guess, and go see Princess Celestia.

~Is that all? He didn't tell her why?~

>Yes.

Brows knitting in thought, he plops down on the floor and starts muttering to himself, rolling his hooves nebulously.

~...And that's the only thing of note that happened?~

She recalled their conversation beforehand, the accusations and vague mentions of something more going on, but...
4/8
>>
>>33976940
>Other than him cleaning her up with a spell, yes.

He stares at her, as if searching for any tell she was lying, and sighs before rising to his hooves again.

~I have no further questions. Thank you for your time.~

With that, he attempts to walk past her, towards the door they came through, but she steps in his way, causing him to flinch and step back.

>Wait. I have some questions for you.

~You do?~

>Yes.

~Oh.~

>...Do you consent to me asking them?

~Funny. Go ahead.~

>You work as an agent here, right?

~Yes.~

>But... who do you work for?

~The crown. Which is led by Princess Twilight and Shining Armor at the moment, so I work for them.~

>...

~You expected me to evasively imply my loyalty lies elsewhere, like with Princess Applejack, yes?~

>You kinda give off that vibe, yeah, so I figured you were secretly batting for her. And you just called her Princess when everybody here wants her arrested and put on trial.

~It's not a secret. I openly consider her to be a Princess and will do so until the day she gives up the title.~

>Even though she's responsible for the world hating you guys?

~She's also responsible for strengthening Equestria in terms of medicine, education, technology, defense, agriculture and a host of other things on top of repelling and subduing every hostile foreign force herself, with the only reason they managed to work up the nerve to attack again being the fact that she was strangely whisked away to another dimension. So, despite the negative sentiment directed at her, there are still people who sympathize with her in spite of her flaws.~

>Point.

~And I did work for her, so it'd be a little hypocritical to just toss her under the cart.~

>But you're still loyal to her, aren't you? Doesn't that put you in a dangerous position considering your current leaders are the ones pushing for her arrest?

~I guess. It's a bit of a toss-up, really.~
5/8
>>
>>33976944
>Seriously? You're not even the least bit concerned that they'll decide to get rid of you because you'll try to undermine them or something?

He sighs under the weight of the flat look she shot him.

~No. Because we've already been through this song and dance.~

With a wave of his hoof, he motions to the rest of the room, particularly leading her gaze to a desk and monitor caked with dust. One of many.

~We've had this argument with them. We've had many arguments and many walk-outs over many decisions. And what it all basically came down to was this: we can stay because we're good at our jobs and committed to Equestria's safety above all else. At least those of us left are, I guess.~

>Is that what they told you? Twilight and Shining Armor?

~Our new ruler did, in his usual grandiose and faux-parental way. Princess Twilight wasn't particularly convinced, but she eventually loosened the reins she kept tightening on us.~

>Wait, so you're saying she didn't trust you, but let you continue working even though you're loyal to Applejack?

~The mistrust regarding loyalty came later. What I'm talking about has more to do with her handling of the uprisings. A lot of lives were lost and one of her solutions for mitigating any further loss was the Magicraft Soldier program.~

>Is that what those cyborgs patrolling the castle went through?

~Yeah. Magicraft ponies are stronger and faster than us fleshy, non-alicorns generally are, which caused Princess Twilight, bless her overprotective and beautiful mind, to quintuple down on her insistence that everyone go through it. She was sincerely terrified that we'd all die if we even set a single hoof outside of Canterlot without Magicraft upgrades. So, when we refused them, she started sending a Magicraft agent with each of us and got more and more restrictive with what missions we could go on. The same thing happened with the rest of the guard.~

>And that led to mistrust because they felt they were getting pushed out.
6/8
>>
>>33976946
~It's one point of contention, yes. The standards were already high, so when the Magicraft rookies raised it, not a lot of ponies could keep up.~

>But you can?

He smiles ruefully.

~I really want to say it's not that big of a gap between me and the best of the Magicraft, but I'm not some hotshot like Miles or genetic beast like Rocksteady. I'm the best when it comes to my talent, but it's not easy to stay competitive otherwise, and I guess as far as the Princess is concerned we're not. Which is fair enough. I know I'm just a few more revisions away from becoming Obsolete.~

>If that's how you feel, why not take her offer?

~Because I want to have kids someday.~

>...It's because you don't fully trust her, isn't it?

~That might be a reason, yes.~

>Then why work for her?

~Because I still trust her judgement in some cases. She's done a great deal for Equestria and I still respect her for that. Just not enough to let hijack my body whenever she wants. I've read the terms when it comes to Magicraft conversion, after all.~

>But you don't respect or trust Shining Armor as much, do you?

~Not as much, no. Because the way he talks creeps me out.~

>What do you mean?

~He talks like he's wearing PRINCESS Celestia's face. Like he's everybody's dad. And it just... like, you see how Prin- Celestia is now, right? Then you look at him and he's acting like how she acted, but it's like because she's there and she's what she is now it just comes across as even faker and rehearsed than usual. And then he gets her powers and goes from just calling himself Emperor to also calling his harem his Divine like he's a god or something and he's living out some Hyperspace fantasy and it's just like what is this guy thinking when a thousand year-old ruler didn't even feel comfortable with people calling her a god and even the """dictator""" he's replacing settled for being called Princess and he's been ruling for what a year and it's like what is he doing it weirds me out!~
7/8
>>
>>33976949
>...Wow...

~Err. Sorry.~

>It's fine.

~But you get what I mean, right?~

>Yes.

~Good. And don't tell him I said that, please.~

>I don't think I could even if I wanted to. It's like I heard you, but your words just washed over me, imparting nothing but pure intention.

~Uh, good?~

>But what I want to know now is what would you have done if what I saw between them was something noteworthy? Something nefarious?

~Depends on the information.~

>What if revealing it could get him ousted from power?

~Then I'd be mindful of revealing it depending on what it is and ask you to do the same. The last thing I want to do is create another power vaccuum for our enemies.~

>Even if it'd help your Applejack get back into power?

~...Listen... I'm not looking forward to a civil war. I want things to be settled cleanly and fairly. That's all I'll really say about that.~

>I understand.

~Anymore questions?~

>One more. Why did you tell me all of this? I'm a changeling.

~And despite the fact that this could have been a trap, you still came here with me and answered my question. Fair's fair, Miss Thirteen, and nothing I told you is confidential above the clearance Princess Twilight said you've all been given.~

>Besides the rant.

~An unspoken exception, yes. Besides, I don't have a grudge against your kind and I try not to judge someone based solely on their race, anyways.~

She pointedly glances at his horn.

~Emphasis on try and solely.~

>...

~Was that all?~

>...Is it alright if I stay here for a bit? To think on some things?

He stares at her for a moment, his attention drawn away by the soft beeping of the large monitoring system.

~...If you want to. But you might want to tell your friend first. He's probably getting antsy waiting by the door.~

>Thank you.
>>
>>33976951
>A civil war is bewing

Here
we
go.
>>
>>33976949
Finally we get to see someone actually UPSET about how Salt acts.
>>
>>33976951
>>33976956
Considering a running theme is that the Magictech outclass the regs and are 100 percent in Twilght's control, and Salt is apparently somehow a hard counter to AUJ(I still don't get how), that might not go so well.

Not to mention motherfuckingDRAGONS
>>
>>33976951
So wait, is this implying Delight became a Magitech? That's... actually a really interesting idea.
>>
Since this is so close to the end, quick question, do you all want to end the thread with Twilight/Spike's short update, or have it at the start of the new one? It won't be very long due to the fact I'm still catching up on the backlog of stories and of course dealing with the real world, but its at least something.
>>
>>33976951
Daaaamn, that guy did not hold back.

>>33976979
Next thread, that way we can start it off with a bang.
>>
>>33976944
>Princess Twilight and Shining Armor
>He doesn't call Shining an official title
>He's one of the rare few who actually calls Twilight a princess

Notice that? Almost nobody calls Twi a princess anymore.

>>33976979
What>>33976981 said, lets kick off the next one with some movement at last! I know you wanted to end the thread with the update but this is a pretty big movement all the same.
>>
>>33976974
Here's how it actually happened

"Delight"
>Twilight
~~~

>Alright, Master Technical Gunnery Warrant Delta Operator Officer Sergeant Miles, we're ready to begin the procedure

"Heh.... go ahead doc, not like I really needed it in the first place, being top of my class in the My Little Pony Fighting Academy of course...."

>Okie doke my panties are splooshing right now so let's get this show on the road

[MAGIC!]

"oooOOOAAAAAAOW ffFUCK my BONE-ITIS! TURNS OUT I'M ALLERGIC TO MAGITECH OOOOAAAHH NNNNOOOAAAAOOOOWWWW!"

[Death]

>Oh woopsie toodles hee hee
>>
>>33976951
So is this going to cause a minor or major war when AUJ comes back? She already said she's not going down without a fight and she wants her land back.
>>
>>33977008
Ironically the biggest issue with that is that if she tried the other nations are too beholden to Salt and would attack from all sides, he's got every angle covered. Dragons, buffalo, kirin, griffons and seaponies would attack Equestria from every angle and prevent the normal guard from being able to defend everything, even if she wanted to deal with it herself the question would be which of the six corners of Equestria would she fly to in order to save it, and which five would she let fall?
>>
>>33976951
So we have
>Someone resigned to falling behind and just stuck pushing papers
>Someone who's left behind and now drinking his life away
>Someone struggling to stay relevant to compete with his peers

And its Neutral, Favorable and Hostile towards Salt respectively.

Interesting results.
>>
>>33976951
>He thinks he could block Broken-ass 13's mindpowers

heh
>>
>>33976974
I was writing under the assumption that Delight is basically in the same boat as Soundcheck in not taking magitech.
>>
>>33977076
Oh, the way it was worded made it seem like he was one of the ones who took the leap. I wonder how he's keeping up despite that? He's not one of the higher-tier of fighters.
>>
>>33977089
Well they explicitly said nobody is being fired, so as long as he's okay with being outperformed and the challenge presented with getting promotions he can stay as long as he likes.
>>
>>33976951
OMAKEEEE!
>Altwi
"Agent"
~~~

>Now I know what you're all thinking, surely this wouldn't be very good for your future prospects, right?

"YOU'RE TURNING US INTO TOYS!"

>But instead, I've got an idea... new socks!

".."

>These will make you faster and stronger and hey, no new parts! Yayyyy!

"They let you control our legs, don't they?"

>Nope! None whatsoever!

"I dunno, what's the downside?"

>None, there's absolutely no downside whatsoever.

"Hrmmmm, I wonder... what could be-OH SWEET MERCIFUL FAUST!"

>What?

"WHY ARE THOSE SOCKS SO HIDEOUS!?"

>I like them...

"They're tacky Hearth Warming socks!"

>...I like it....
>>
>>33977089
I figured Alt-Delight would have taken AUJ's training push seriously since Reg-Delight has a weird tolerance for her and loyalty to AJ and he's obsessed with wrestling. But I'm under the assumption that it's still more or less a losing battle trying to physically keep up with the cyborgs in terms of speed and strength. Whoever is high tier can keep up with them when it comes to doing their job, but it's like Spike vs Flash part one and deux when it comes fighting them where it comes down to a number of factors. Then again, Diamond Tiara gave Fizzle and Flash flash a run for their money and she isn't exactly a fighter. Then again again Flash was presumably not as advanced as the alt-guards are. So, I guess it comes down to writing and what the magitech weaknesses are.
>>
>>33977233
*she isn't exactly a trained fighter, I should say. Without ballistics.
>>
>>33977233
>Then again, Diamond Tiara gave Fizzle and Flash flash a run for their money and she isn't exactly a fighter. T

DT relied entirely on her stupid advanced weapon to carry her, literally. She had tricks and gadgets that made the fight easier but when it came down to it she only lasted as long as she did against Flash, Fizzle came at the end of the fight and instantly ended it, because TBDRLIATU was legit one of the best weapons in the series. The only time she could stand up to both of them was with the Fillyboom Armor. Interestingly, Twilight had no part in making it and never seemed to have the idea for power armor that's compact herself, DT and Pennydrop designed and built it and the only reason DT got the idea was because carrying TBDRLIATU was a chore, and she thought up a way to carry him easier.

Similar armory might be a good exploratory idea, but I'd assume they'd have more limitations than the Magitech due to it being armor and inside you're squishy.
>>
File: iu[1].jpg (34 KB, 600x535)
34 KB
34 KB JPG
>>33977262
>Similar armory might be a good exploratory idea
It's only a matter of time.

Also, did we get unlock?
>>
>Rarity thinks your underwear is tacky!
>Luna learns what a shawl is!
>Celestia's dress is not poofy, thank you!
THREE IN ONE>>33971138
>Cadence dresses in style, just not the right one!
For a knight maybe>>33976792
>Who let Twilight choose the socks!?
She likes them...>>33977205
>Ember wants to show you her bling!
Dragons be Gangsta>>33952742
> Scootaloo has some crocs, it makes her think of her parents!
Awww>>33957638
>And plenty of hot Coco fanserivce!
HOT AND BOTHERED>>33959167

But it looks like we still need!
>Fluttershy put on the wrong shoes this morning.
>>
>>33976949
So cyborgs can't have kids, how does Altwi feel about that? An acceptable loss for the guards to be safe and capable?
>>
>>33977328
>So cyborgs can't have kids,

Alt-Flash made it clear that's just a really pervasive rumor, but not true. Everyone jokes about it or thinks its true but she never actually removes their junk or anything like that.
>>
>>33977317
OMAKEEE
>Fluttershy
"AltLuna"
~~~

>Soooo, tell me... what do you think of Dash?

"Tis a bit annoying, but she's okay. "

>Twilight?

"She's alright."

>What do you think of Rarity?

"Quite nice!"

>What about Pinkie?

"So much fun!"

>And me?

"Eh."

>...

"..."

>Discord?

~Yes?~

>I put on the wrong shoes this morning.

~You're not wearing shoes.~

>Exactly. Get my asswhooping shoes out of storage.

"NO REGRETS!"
>>
>>33977369
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Speaking of, when's PP-anon off? We don't want to leave him behind again.
>>
>>33977375
He didn't tell us! The monster!
>>
>>33977375
https://www.myinstants.com/instant/achievement-unlocked/

Work roughly started. If I don't post by the time the thread reaches page 7, assume I'm not going to make it.
>>
>>33977497
Well alright then, I guess we don't need to keep the thread floating in that case.
>>
>>33977503
OMAKEEEE!
>SA
"???"
~~~

>Huh, you know... I think I'm good, don't need to be so try-hard to get some respect, right, other me?

"NO EMBER NO! YAMATE! MY HIPS CAN'T TAKE IT!"

>He knows.
>>
>>33977527
>Ember VS Chrysalis when?
>>
>>33977537
...In a sex battle?
>>
>>33977542
I'll take it.
>>
>>33977542
Hot.
>>
>>33977537
>Chrysalis
"Ember"
~~~

>...

"..."

>I cover myself in fire all the time.

"So do I!"

>Shiny, I'm leaving you! Not you, Caddy... you aight.
>>
And dat's bump.

OP maker, make me an OP! Make it the greatest that I'll ever see!
>>
new thread! >>33977572
>>
Oh yeah, can I get a one sentence summary?
>>
File: 1295208.png (1.47 MB, 1800x1800)
1.47 MB
1.47 MB PNG
Pinkie Preview
>Pinkie
~~~~
https://youtu.be/U9Q6ur6REDQ
>Salt meets Ember and Applejack assaults the undead dragon

>Applejack wants proof that carrots are good for the eyes. DT's name suggestions get rejected. The Raritys laugh in fabulous. Fancy Pants tries on a kilt. Blueblood rescues a kitten and no not because it happens to be white. Sugar mama Celestia always knows what her girls need. Sweetie Belle has been hitting the sugar lately. Find out what happens next time on thread 276: I Can't Believe It's Not Civil War…and of course EQUESTRIA! FUCK YEAH! fanservice.



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