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Previous Thread: >>33916067

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>>
First for best pony.
>>
"Shining Armor killed by bandits" is a joke of how people will kill off his character so Anon can take his widow, but what we twisted it a bit?
>Shining Armor is currently tied up in a cave while his captor paces back and forth.
>"You mind taking a seat, sir? You're giving me a headache."
"I don't take orders from hostages," the man snaps, voice muffled by the thick mask covering his lower-face. "Just be quiet."
>A hood covers his greasy black hair and forms into a tattered cloak that falls down to the back of his knees.
>His feet are wrapped in leather strips with cotton ones beneath, but it doesn't help much in the snowfields outside.
>He's likely to lose some fingers and toes if he doesn't keep the fire going.
>His furry captive isn't sympathetic to his plight as he huffs irritably and scooches closer to the flame.
>Anon looks away and back towards the Crystal Empire, waiting for the signal.
>He left very specific instructions that, when they were ready to exchange their prince for the gold, to send a red flare into the sky.
>He gave them twenty-four hours.
>He hears a clatter and the fire flare up, and quickly turns around.
>Shining Armor is out of his ropes and throwing a few branches on the fire.
"What are you doing?!" Anon growls, reaching for his dagger. "Trying to escape?"
>"No," he answers simply. "Those ropes were just chafing. I mean, I could try and fight you, but it didn't do much good last time when you kept poking all my barriers and making them pop."
>The fight had been surprisingly easy, even for a skilled fighter such as Anon.
>For whatever reason, this world's magic doesn't work on him, and without the advantage, he was quickly able to outmaneuver his opponent and knock him out with some sleeping powder.
>Still...
"I'm tying you up again."
>"Why? I can just use my magic to get out again."
"Not if I break off your horn."
>"You were abused as a foal, weren't you?"
"You dare mock me?"
>"I'm not mocking, I'm being serious," the pony responds.
>>
>>33923683
>And dammit, the concern in his big eyes shines true.
"What does it matter?" Anon asks angrily.
>"You don't need to live life like this," he answers. "Violent and angry, foalnapping and stealing. Wherever you're from, whatever your past or what you've done, you can leave it all behind you. Start a new life."
>Anon snorts, plopping down across the fire, dagger now in his hand and at the ready.
"And what? Let you go? Turn myself in?"
>"That'd be a good start."
"Yeah, so I can live the rest of my life in a cell. No thanks. I'd rather get my gold and live like a king, thank you very much."
>"If you surrender, you won't be placed in a cell," Shing answers confidenlty. "There might be parole, and some community service, but once we're sure you're genuine about wanting to change your ways, we'll help you get a place of your own, and even gainful employment."
"And here I thought I left all the snake oil salesmen back home," Anon says with a roll of his eyes. "Fine, keep the ropes off, but if you make a move, I will saw that horn of yours off and shove it up your arse."
>Shining sighs and shakes his head before looking over to his torn open saddlebags.
>He flinches at the sight of his meticulously painted miniatures scattered on the cave floor, his atttacker having dragged him into an alley on the way to a friend's house for game night.
>He also spots a pack of custom playing cards he was going to show off, and perks up.
>"Hey, you know how to play go-fish? I could teach you if you want."
"Are you serious?"
>"What else is there to do? Come on, it'll be a way to pass the time."
"Don't know why you'd want to do that, once your twenty-four hours are up without a response from the princess, I plan on slittng your throat and leaving you in a snowpile."
>"I'm not worried, now come, Get the cards."
"... You ponies are crazy. Fine, tell me about this stupid game of yours."
>Shining smiles, but flinches minutely.
>Anon doesn't realize it, but the cave is already surrounded
>>
>>33923684
>The message Shining had just receive through his horn said as much.
>After the Changeling fiasco, the royal couple decided to take precautions to prevent something similar from ever happening again.
>This was in the form of a horn core sample transplant.
>Cadance and Shining both had a small sliver from each other's horn surgically inserted into the other's, allowing them a form of communcation that could cover miles and was unditectable from the outside,
>Cadance could send twinges through her husband's horn, and he could do the same to her, thus allowing the two to talk through code.
>Shining had explained his location to his wife as soon as he was oriented enough to do so, and she came to his aid with a platoon of guards close behind.
>Then Shining sent a message to wait, much to her bewilderment.
>She demanded why, to which Shining responded that he wanted to try and talk his captor into doing the right thing.
>Even so, the princess was antsy, and kept asking if he wanted her to burst in.
>It's making focusing on his cards quite hard.
>"No," he sends back. "I'll say when if it comes to that. Let me do this. Let me help him."
"Got any... two's?"
>"Go fish,"
"Dammit..."
>Shining chuckles.
>He can see the light in the man's eyes.
>He just needs to make him see it to.
>>
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First for best humans.
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>>33923718
3/10 would nut on
>>
>>33923684
>not breaking the horn immediately
now that's just not professional at all
>>
>>33923799
Fag
>>
>>33923840
>>33923684
Just keep a hand on him and he couldn't do any magic anyway.
>>
>>33923877
but then he might sneak up on you and suck your dick, causing you to lose your grip on him and then call the guards in
a colt getting that far up the chain would probably find that to be right up his alley, what with all the clit he had to suck
no, better to just get rid of the horn as soon as possible, if not leading with such a removal
>>
>>33923685
I like this a lot. I’m a sucker for creative magic shit like the horn thing you described.
>>
>>33923673

>>33923469
>>33923486
You did good, Anon. You did real good.
>>
I really just want a story about Anon and Derpy dating.
>>
>>33924400
>Anon and Derpy are dating.
>He fucks her eyes straight.
There you go Anon.
>>
>>33924499
9/11
Would read again
>>
wake up you dykes
>>
>>33925039
>memestrus is regarded as a funny joke among mares, except for four ponies
>when that time of the year hits the princesses become insatiable in their thirst for The Big Nut™
>cadance is regarded jealously by the other three for having a stallion all to herself, and twilight at least has her friends to keep her head on her shoulders
>the celestial sisters however have been high and dry for millenia, and the stallions of canterlot have been known to stampede out of the city in a panic if celestia's mating/warning cry comes a day early
>so when anon finally notices there are no stallions in the city after a couple days he gets a chill down his spine
>it only takes a few seconds to realize that chill wasn't the wind blowing
>>
>>33923673
Can't you fucks stick to one subject name?
>>
>>33923685
>realizes he's surrounded
>his hostage just teleports away when they move in
>slits his own throat to prevent, what would undoubtedly happen in his mind, getting tortured and executed
>bad end
>>
>>33925225
You do realize OP does this specifically just to fuck with (you), right?
>>
>Twilight doesn't have a problem with stallions because she's a nerd, or because she was the princess's personal student and colts were afraid of her
>She had a problem with stallions because of her hyperactive sex drive
>The unicorn felt the same as a mare in the height of her heat pretty much all of the time since she got her cutiemark
>It was so bad when she was little, her parents had gotten her some... toys to help relieve her "stress"
>Which she did
>Multiple times a day
>Were it not for Celestia's keen eye, and her taking Twilight under her wing, Twilight might have become a villain when she was older due to sexual frustration
>When she was little, Twilight did have stallions interested in her
>The stallion's parents wanted a good match for their little bundle of joy, and Twilight seemed like the perfect fit
>It lasted for about one date
>This happened with other families, from great and lower houses, and all met similar fates
>Twilight was just too randy and sex hungry for anypony
>The unicorn was a filthy mare; a true degenerate with fantasies that would make a mother's fur turn grey
>Now that she's an alicorn, it's only gotten worse
>The new princess has had to create spells to stop her musk and arousal from constantly filling the air
>It's a wonder that she just didn't standing around panting like a bitch in heat 90% of the day
>Now, there's no living stallion that would be able to quench the fire constantly burning in her belly
>You are not a stallion
>>
>>33925225
>Whoopsie Ploopsie Gander Rolls in Ponyland
>>
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>>33925319
>Were it not for Celestia's keen eye, and her taking Twilight under her wing, Twilight might have become a villain when she was older due to sexual frustration
This is what happened to Sunset Shimmer.
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>>33925319
That degenerate hoof holder.
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>>33925319
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>>33923682
Indeed
>>
>>33923682
Yep. If we inhabited the same reality, I would so cuddle the heck out of her.
>>
>>33925419

>https://derpibooru.org/tags/comic-colon-display+of+passion
>>
>>33925438
>Maledom dumpster fire
>>
>>33923682
>>33925424
>>33925429
https://derpibooru.org/1894150?q=moondancer%2C+sweater&sf=score
>>
>>33925272
Yes, he's only pretending to be retarded.
>>
>>33925474
>The spellbook is opened to a page with an invisibility spell and a silence spell bookmarked.
>Anon's at home enjoying his evening meal when his pants suddenly unbuckle themselves and he feels a tongue licking at his nutsack
>>
>>33925516
Moondancer would definitely be a balls girl.
>>
>>33925319
>It took two full days and a night
>There was very little rest between sessions
>The horse stamina meme was real, Twi would cum after a minute or two, but she didn't stop
>She kept going and going
>And going and going
>And going and going
>The two of you did a lot of shit, some of which you weren't proud of
>The entire castle was also basically destroyed
>Windows, furniture, walls, all of it wrecked
>Were it not for Zecora and her magical zigga potions you probably would have died
>As it was, you just almost died
>You had been close to passing out when Twilight, covered in cum and sweat, announced that she was done before passing out
>Her eyes had rolled into the back of her head and she had sort of just slumped to the ground
>You had to check to see if she was breathing
>After that, you had to carry her to her bedroom, ironically one of the few rooms in the castle not trashed
>You were out of commission for most of the week after that
>Everything hurt, joints, bones, even parts of you that never hurt before
>Your buddy Doctor Horse even said that you had some mild muscle tears in various places, and pretty significantly dehydrated
>Twilight seemed pretty apologetic about the whole thing afterward
>She also seemed to have a pip in her step that she hadn't before, which was kinda nice
>Now you just needed to keep that pip in her step
>At least once a month, preferably a few times or more per month, as per Celestia's orders
>Hopefully you could take it
>You were sure you'd be able to do so
>...Probably
>>
What would you make for your mares on the first night back from your honeymoon?
>>
>>33926133
Dick in a box
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>>33926133
assuming the first of the dozen foals was already made during the honeymoon, i'd probably try and cook something from earth that nopony had ever had before. barring that i'd just make something special like fried morels or crayfish. don't really have the skills to make anything except food, and i'd have to find a /ck/ anon to thank for sharing recipes before going to techicolor pone land
>>
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>>33926145
>assuming the first of the dozen foals was already made during the honeymoon
Good man
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>>33926145
how are fried mushrooms unique?
>>
>>33926304
They look like testicles, helps vigor and stamina
>>
>>33925963
"Welp, time to narfle the garthok again."
>>
>>33925336
Found next threads title
>>
>>33926311
This is a blue board you sick fuck

At least there's no hoof hol-
>>33925405
This is why Horse God doesn't talk to us anymore
>>
>>33926304
>he doesn't know what morels are
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What can you do to sweep your waifu off her feet ?
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>>33926404
I don't have a waifu, I just like the cute poners.
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>>33923718
The bodies are so doll like its almost too cartoony.
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>>33925319
>Gross fuzzy lips smooching you
Ew, Gay.
>>
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>>33926304
specifically morels; they only grow a few weeks out of the year in temperate climates, and only around dead elm, aspen, ash, and oak trees specifically. they have a delicious nutty taste, and morel hunting is a fantastic bonding experience between a father/son or husband/wife.
as for cooking them, you cut them in half, dip them in batter, roll them in crushed crackers (I prefer butter crackers, but my buddy likes saltines), then pan fry them. there's other recipies out there, but they pale in comparison in my admittedly biased opinion
>>
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>>33926353
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>>33926434
>>
>>33926404
>Implying you wouldn't be the one swept off your feet instead
>>
>>33926410
These three would make the perfect herd and nothing can change my mind. They already come as a package, too.
>>
>>33926404
>>33926443
>Start dating a mare
>Think you're gonna sweep her off her hooves
>Get completely blindsided when she pulls off all the moves before you even have a chance to ponder "what, exactly, am I going to do?"
>She turns you into a flustered mess and before you know it, you're stammering and accepting her offer of a date
>"I'll pick you up at 7."
"S-Sure."
>>
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>>33926461
nothing at all?
>>
AHAHAHA APPLE AND PONKFAGS BTFO
https://derpicdn.net/img/2019/6/8/2060440/full.jpeg
>>
>>33926553
Nope. Not at all. Not even three undeniably beautiful mares with much more varied talents and subspecies.
I will ask for sauce, though.
>>
>>33926577
https://derpicdn.net/img/2019/4/10/2008313/full.png
i gotchu fåm
>>
>>33926584
Many thanks, anon. May your waifu bring your soul to Equestria when you depart this Earth.
>>
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>>33926589
>>
>>33926564
Saved, top tier taste
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This is why Trixie is still a virgin.
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>>33926797
Are they hard boiled ?
>>
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>>33926797
>>
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Stories about Anon interacting with background ponies doing regular, non-lewd background pony things.
>>
>>33926934
>implying mares are capable of doing non-lewd things
Stallions, sure. But do you honestly think a mare can do anything without slathering it in layers and layers of debauchery?
>>
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>>33926948
There's a little switch in every mare's brain that reads "Act incredibly lewd because you're a superior mare" and "Harass Anon because he is an inferior male". There is no in between
>>
>>33925115
yeah, anon is kinda ded now I guess
>>
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>>33924039
>>33923469
>>33923486
I was just thinking it might be fun to do an actual teenage CMC story as opposed to fillies, or saying they're legal adults as soon as they got their marks.
As for Anon being in a porn mag, despite having not written further than a premise in the hopes of inspiring someone else, I did think of a background for it.
I was figuring that, appearing in Manehattan first, Anon wouldn't have had as easy a time as usual.
Ponies ignored an alicorn when she visited, so being an alien probably wouldn't gather too much attention. Also, without the Mane6 there to cuddle him and help him settle in, I figured Anon would actually end up homeless as the cold city folk don't give handouts. At least not big ones like a house and monthly allowance.
The way I was imagining it was that Anon lived in a homeless shelter and ate from soup kitchens, which, even when Manehatan isn't the kindest city, was still better than what you'd get on Earth.
Still, obviously wanting money of his own, he set out doing odd jobs and the like to start saving bits until being spotted by a pony who took interest in his exotic nature enough to give him a well-paying gig.
With the bits he got from doing the shoot combined with what he already had, Anon move to Ponyville where housing is cheap, thus the beginning of the story.
Not long after, once AB shares the news, he'd soon get three teen filly stalkers trying to figure him out.
>>
>>33926410
"Lily, stop eating the flowers off your sister's head. Bad horse."
>>
>>33926564
Equestria what contest?
Equestria WHAT contest!?
>>
>>33927281
Ponut
>>
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Remember to never get into debt to a mare.
>>
>>33927194
That was some real good shit.
>>
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>"Our dynasty will last for a 1000 years."
>>
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>>33926934
I was starting to write something like that, but i put it in WIP hell.
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>>33927415
>only a thousand years
HA, look at this tuftlet!
I bet she can't even have pop out a dozen foals!
And besides, everyone knows a ROYAL hed should be able to birth and raise no less than TWO Dozen foals, maybe even three if the lead mare has a particularly fluffy tuft
>>
>>33926948
True fact: Mares think about sex once every 8 seconds.
>>
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>>33927194
I need it
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>>33927415
>>33927508
>tfw no princess wife
>>
>>33926992
>"Omae wa mō shin de mechakucha"
"NANI?!?"
did my best for a proper nip translation to "you are already fucked". close enough
>>
>>33927857
"You are already dead.(fucked)"
Nearly.
>>
>>33927857
>>33927861
>Anon in RGRWeebquestria
>Everypony speaks poorly pronounced ching chong that never quite translates to what they're trying to say
>Confrontations all play out like a street fight in a Yakuza game
>Ponies dress up in dumb as shit outfits that wouldn't be out of place in an anime
>None of it is cool
>It's a world of filthy weebs pretending that it's a world of animes
>Whichever mare is interested in Anon is confused when all the anime-tier romance bullshit she pulls off doesn't work
>"B-But I carried his books for him a-and passed him a note asking him out! Why hasn't he prepared me a hoof-made meal and put it into a tiny lunch box for me yet?"
>Weebhorse waifu cries herself to sleep again
>Anon just wants to leave the world where ponies wear Naruto headbands and try to carry swords in their mouths (even if they're unicorns and have access to magic)
AKA "Anon in hell"
>>
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>>33927933
>"Duel me Twilight Sparkle!"
>>
>>33927857
>>
this thread is full of sexually frustrated virgins change my mind
>>
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>>33927947
go dilate, jazz jr
>>
>>33927947
Welcome home, brother
>>
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>>33927940
>>
>>33927947
Finally, a 'change my mind' challenge I know I can't win.
>>
>>33927415
>tfw she presses your face between her big tits
>tfw she then wraps her wings around you
>tfw after that there's no escape
>tfw you're her husband now
>>
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>>33927980
This is fine
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>>33927980
But how?
I'm a monk.
>>33927991
There may be no escape, but I am bound to be a warrior priest. How can she love someone that is to die killing demons?
>>
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>>33928007
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>>33928009
>Stripped
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>>33927947
You’re here too now
>>
>>33927980
>>33927991
>Bimbolestia
I am confusion
>>
>>33928009
>Sunset plays the beta for Realm of Battletrade: Classic on stream
>was still in Equestria when the game originally came out, but she did start playing it a few expansions back
>enjoys the modern game for what it is, but also decides to see what it was like in the beginning
>and if she makes a few bucks along the way with her strem, well that's just great
>playing through, she eventually reaches the Zaga zone
>"Oh cool, I always liked the Zagas, wonder what they were like before Scorching Conflict came out."
>stream cuts, and she gets an email that her channel is suspended for two days due to "hate speech"
>>
>>33926564
I dislike the ponut other than that good.
>>
>>33928026
Anon, big tits does not a bimbo make
the top one is a little closer, I'll admit, but she's still nowhere near exaggerated or ditzy enough for that label
>>
>>33926934
>Noot
Oh god, that guy was so fucking weird.
>>
>>33927933
>"B-But I carried his books for him a-and passed him a note asking him out! Why hasn't he prepared me a hoof-made meal and put it into a tiny lunch box for me yet?"
As if any of us actually knows how to make a proper bentō.
>>
>>33927947
Not a virgin, but still sexually frustrated, because most people are fucking terrible at sex.
>>
>>33928030
>suspended for two days due to "hate speech"
And then a massive shitstorm ensues as thousands of angry autists start a Chirp campaign to have her be banned from the site and or a random publication no one actually cares about tries to get her ads pulled
>>
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>>33927947
>this thread
>not /mlp/

1 job
>>
>>33927947
Can't be sexually frustrated if the highest bar is to fuck a small prey animal in a barn. Just bing a few carrots and don't put pressure on them by approaching head on. Done.
>>
>>33928030
>>33928112
I didn't ask for this amount of realism. I like to think that RGREqG is like Earth, only not shit.
>>
>>33928238
Imagine if fucking a mare was that easy. I like it when ponies exhibit horsey behaviour, like a love of carrots and sugarcubes, or sharing breath. Especially sharing breath. I bet some mares are suckers for romantic stuff like that.
>>
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>>33928383
Literally all you have to do is pick them up,, look them directly in the eyes and tell them "you're mine." and they'll just accept it
>>
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>>33928388
That sounds nice
>>
>>33923673
>Sometimes a half hour between rgre posts
We're dying Anons, dying.
>>
>>33928381
I don't know about the second guy, but I did hear that some guy playing WoW classic did get suspended for two days on twitch for saying "naga," though it is assumed that it was some kind of algorith fuck up that thought he said nigga
then again I did hear it on /v/, so who knows what actually happened
>>
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One day I shall publish my story about mob mares and mob boss anonymous. Dear /mlp/, how do I achieve motivation to finish writing first chapter?
>>
>>33928388
>Literally all you have to do is pick them up,, look them directly in the eyes and tell them "you're mine." and they'll just accept it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAGfx7eB3gA
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>When you first got here, Rainbow Dash had said something snarky to the flower sisters when they were nervous around you
>Something about them being scared of a harmless colt
>She then poked fun at them for being scared of bunny rabbits
>The term "colts with teats" was also thrown around
>This was a prick in the side of the sisters
>Their mareliness called into questions, all three sisters forced themselves to interact with you
>All three of them were pretty nice mares
>Daisy liked to keep an eye on your plants, since "plant-work is no job for a colt"
>With her earth pony magic, she was able to make your garden--a garden which you didn't even plant by the way, since the sisters would have none of it--healthy and beautiful
>Lily was an avid beekeeper, putting a few hives on your property
>Roseluck basically stuck around because you made her a sandwich that one time and now asked for a sandwich pretty much everyday, and was willing to do manual labor for one
>Other than the sandwiches--mostly peanut butter, though Daisy really liked bologna whenever you got your hands on it--you were able to help the mares in a lot of other ways
>All three mares were pigs
>Like it was actually pretty awful
>Both themselves and their house was a mess
>You weren't much of a neat freak yourself, but your standards were leagues above their own
>It was so bad that Lily was walking with a slight limp because her hooves were grown out too much
>So you helped clean up their house and the mares themselves
>They were annoyed when you carried each of them to a barrel filled with water and proceeded to clean them up
>For weeks they complained, saying that they "didn't need to bathe every day."
>Daisy even accused you of having a hoof fetish for how much you filed and cleaned them
>At about the two month mark though, all three saw noticeable changes to their persons
>Lily was walking normally, no longer complaining about leg pain
>>
>>33928456
>All three sisters could use their earth pony magic more efficiently
>They even commented that their coats weren't itchy or flaky anymore
>They all felt better, and because of your efforts were actually getting some attention from the local stallions
>Other mares took notice of the sister's appearance, and began coming to you for hoof cleaning/filing and baths
>The faces that they'd make while you scrubbed them was always adorable
>You had many "customers"
>From common ponies to nobles to even princesses
>Princess Twilight herself came at least once a week to get her hooves filed
>Even Applejack, the least fro-fro mare that you know, comes to get a bath once in awhile, much to her brother's relief
>Sometimes it's hard work, but it's honest work, and you enjoy it
>>
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>>33928466
What a wholesome, good job
>>
>>33928466
>Lotus and Aloe start sabotaging you, because you're cutting into their margin.
>>
>>33928383
Preaching to the choir, brother. Mares being so spooked by predators that they have their little ears always rotating. And blushing when they get fhe so r snootles rubbed. And mares being pishy and kind of bithy, especially during heat. Gets me rock hard, it does.

Few weeks ago I went and fondled a real mare's snoot. Tickly whiskers and all. Went full complacent.
>>
>>33923673
i want to anime run and glomp the ponies, is this allowed?
I bet Pinkie pie smells like the inside of a coldstone creamery.
>>
>>33928490
What did you even say?
>>
>>33928490
Did you put a glob of peanut butter on her snoot?
>>
>>33928442
You just do it
>>
>>33928466
>tfw you will never brush a mare's mane and coat until it's shining
>tfw her friends will never call her a lesbian when they see said shiny mane, even though they're getting their manes brushed later in the week
>>
>>33928604
>tfw you make a killing preening wings
>>
>>33928482
>implying that they don't want to hire you for your mad skills and to bring in more mare customers
>>
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>>33928442
>>33928531
>>
>>33928466
>tfw you will never be a filly's first hoof filer
>tfw you will never show her all of her tools, talking with her so she doesn't freak out
>tfw her dad will never tell her how brave she is after you burn the bottom of her hoof with her shoe
>tfw she will never trot around after you nail the show on, not able to take her eyes off her hooves
>tfw she will never thank you
>tfw you will never give her a lollipop and send her on her way, thankful she didn't kick you in the chest
>Sure, that was what the chestplate was fore, but that Applebloom bucked you in the chest so hard you hit the wall across the room
>that shit gave you whiplash, son
>>
>>33928912
>Putting actual horseshoes on ponies
What?
>>
>>33928912
>thankful that she didn't kick you in the chest
>but that Applebloom bucked you in the chest so hard you hit the wall across the room
??
>>
>>33928943
applebloom was a previous patient i assume
>>
>>33927933
Since Yellowquiet is canonically a weeb, what if she's a closet normie in this universe?

>After spending about a week of trying and failing to dodge the incredible amounts of cringe, as well as some mares literally falling on him, Anon finds sanctuary in Fluttershy's cottage.
>The place is distant enough from town to allow him relative solitude, and large enough in case he has to hide from a 'protagonist' trying to find him for whatever weeb reason.
>One time, as Anon is doing the second thing, he accidentally finds a hidden room in the otherwise airy and quaint home.
>A crack in one of the walls turns out to be a doorway, and in a blink of an eye, Anon is inside, hidden.
>Within the room he finds... normal literature, regular-ass comic books, heck there is a normal rock-band poster on one of the walls.
>Then Fluttershy walks in, dropping the plate of decidedly not weeb food she was carrying, gasping quite loudly.
>"A-anon! You... You've found my secret room.... P-please don't tell anypony, they must never know!"
"Are you crazy? I want to move in here!"
>Thus, an unlikely friendship begins.
>>
>>33928442
Reward yourself with a shot of alcohol for every writing milestone you reach.
>>
>>33928668
>offer 'happy endings' to mares and colts alike.
>you make them laugh via tickles.
>>
>"You're a sick freak!"
"Hello to you too."
>"I come to take you back and I find out you're going out with some... some ANIMAL?!"
"More like an alien."
>"That's a horse, Anon."
"Pony actually."
>"It's still an animal, you weirdo."
"You're an animal, and I kept you around until you cheated on me."
>"Making excuses. You're always making excuses; trying to sound smarter than you think you are."
"Ah-huh."
>"That's why I cheated on you with Brad. You're all talk and no action. A spineless, dickless will worm that apparently likes to fuck animals instead of people."
"That's not very nice."
>"It's not supposed to be nice. You're supposed to be ashamed. You SHOULD be ashamed
"I'm not. You should also start hauling ass."
>"Why? Are you going to be a woman-beater and an animal abuser?"
"No. But Twilight here can pick up cars with your mind, and she understands english perfectly fine. She also didn't seem to like anything that you said."
>"...Oh shit."
"Twilight, sweetie? Please put that RV down. Karen, I'd back away now if I were you."


Horses protective of their hyoo-mens when?
>>
>>33929363
> A spineless, dickless will worm
lill*
>"No. But Twilight here can pick up cars with your mind,
her* mind. You fucked up. Also poor human boi's did it already. Would like more though.
>>
>>33929218
what if he's teetotal?
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>>33928388
>Be a mare just minding her own business, talking to some friends you met on the street.
>Suddenly a shadow grows in front of you and the jovial look in your friends' faces slowly morph into one of horror.
>You shiver as the monster the shadow belongs to kneels down close to your back.
>The husky whisper of a man's voice fills your ears, you honestly can't tell if your aroused or you just wet yourself, but the words he speaks sticks like a hot iron in your mind.
>"You're mine now. I'm taking you home with me."
>The best you can do is squeak out a tiny "O-okay."
>The man-beast wraps his arms around you and picky you up bodily from the ground and begins to walk off in the other direction.
>Behind you can hear one of your friends whisper to the other "Lucky bitch."
>You guess you're going to be a waifu to a human now.
>>
>>33929363
>ywn pass your ex leaving your house with a poorly concealed terrified look on her face
>ywn enter your home with a/some decidedly smug mare(s) lounging on your couch, belly in prime position for rubs
wat do?
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>>33929439
>one particulalry ballsy anon tries to do that with Celestia
>the moment he walks into the throne room he notices a warmth, and then realizes he's on his back, shirtless, and pinned by a certain sunhoers
>"Silly colt. I've had millenia of experience dealing with coups and a sister trying to overthrow me, did you really think you had a chance? Besides..."
>she leans down to whisper in your ear
>"you don't have enough badges to train me."
>>
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>>33929444
I want to raspberry that belly
>>
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>>33929459
>Implying I'm not already the champion
>>
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>>33929459
My little pony except it's Pokemon and also has reversed gender roles
>>
>>33929505
Pokémon is a wreck these days
>>
>>33929512
I know, right? The new legendary is a dog that has a sword in its mouth. That was the final product: the best idea they came up with.
>>
>>33929512
I'm not going to disagree wit tha sentiment, but the new one looks pretty fun and they're giving a lot of attention to my fetish, which is a bonus
>>
>>33929524
They’re crossing into the fanart territory from way back when, they look like fake leaks or shitty mods
>>33929525
Scat isn’t a good fetish to have anon
>>
>>33929524
Pls don't diss sword doggo, okay? He's just trying his best.
>>33929530
Not really
>>
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I heard you guys liked being romanced by cute horses?

>You are Moondancer, the old Moondancer - but not for long.
>Today was the day you would become the you that was always meant to be, the mare you had sweat, bled, and annihilated your social credit for all these years.
>The pony beaming back in your dingy bathroom mirror doesn't live off of academy grants or the money daddy sends her in the mail anymore; she's been published.
>A once unkempt mane is now tame and sleek, scuffed hooves had been shined, a dingy old sweater replaced with a fresh model.
>She had money, looks, time, and no matter what anypony thought, no matter what SHE thought, confidence.
>There’s only one thing missing now.
>The mare in the mirror does a few paltry adjustments to her appearance before trotting out of her tiny shack and making her debut on the sunny streets of downtown Canterlot.
>You note, with some glee, that the improvements to your hygiene and style are already paying dividends.
>The townsfolk outside your dark bedroom, who usually didn't notice you existed - or didn’t care too, now turn as your paths cross.
>They look you in the eye like you're a pony.
>They nod, smile, or even wave as you pass, and the more it happens, the harder it becomes to hold back your excitement.

>The walk to the general store across town where he works passes in a flash, and it isn't long before you come upon the door to Posey's Sundries.
>You enter to the chime of a bell, and a posh, round-faced elder mare sitting atop a stool in the closest corner raises her head to greet you.
>"Welcome Miss, to the only store you’ll ever need," she drones. "Please feel free to browse. Beauty and wonderment down every aisle is the Posey guarantee!"
>Oh, how right she was.
>You return her an aloof nod and briefly scan the store, unsure of where your target was or whether they were watching.
>The coast is clear, for now.
>>
>>33929537
>You move on as instructed, casually passing aisles and the sparse few ponies dotting them until you came to stop before a rack full of combs hanging on the front-side wall, appraising them silently.
>You aren't really here to shop, least of all for mane care, but that doesn't stop you from picking the most expensive one you can see.
>Silver-plated, pearl encrusted; the exact thing a sophisticated and mature mare with her life together would buy.
>The item turns a few times in your magical grip as you inspect it for flaws, and once you’re satisfied, it hovers along with you toward the checkout at the rear of the store, the place you now suspect to be your goal.
>You aren't disappointed.
>He's there.
>In the usual spot behind behind the register, right where you were hoping he'd be.
>’Anonymous’ is the name penned on his chest - and on yours.
>Goosebumps prickle up and down your coat.
>For just a moment, you decide to stoop behind a forest of mismatched brooms poking out of a nearby cider barrel, watching him as a customer approaches.
>They talk briefly, Bits are exchanged, nothing out of the ordinary - if not for him.
>You close your eyes and angle your ears so as to hear him more clearly, and just for a little while, you forget your all your worries.
>A long sigh disturbs the straw bristles in front of your snout at the sound of his smooth, coltish chuckle.
>His voice is like a song that gets better each time you listen.
>Warm-faced, you wonder if it would be too bold to start your conversation by telling him that you wanted to listen to him laugh forever.
>While you were at it, maybe you could also tell him how many times you’d been to this place without needing a single thing you bought.
>You wonder these things right up until the stallion he's serving departs, taking any excuses you had to procrastinate with him.
>>
>>33929534
Don't bother with them, there's always someone who tries to diss the new generations whenever they come out.
>>
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>>33929540
>Your chest feels lighter than air now, and the only reason you don't float away after entering his line of sight is because your legs have turned to lead.
>You're closer to success than ever before, yes, but if you failed, you might not ever get another chance.
>'This... this is the new you, Moondancer', you promise yourself. 'The new you is collected and cool. She never says the wrong thing and she always knows what to do. She's the mare that you were always meant to be. The mare he wants to be with. You are confident.'
>You reach the register with these words as your mantra.
>He shifts in his seat to acknowledge you, and you know it’s now or never.
>'Could we talk for a moment? I know this is a little out of the blue, but I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner some time? Excuse me? I know we haven't really talked, but it'd like to change that if you have some time after work? I don't mean to disturb you, but, I've seen you around, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out some time? Sorry, I know this is a little sudden, but–-'
>You look up, your eyes meet with his.
>'You are confident,' you remind yourself.
>His expression softens.
>He smiles, and the strumming in your chest loses its rhythm.
>'You are confident,' you repeat, 'you are confident' - because it's the only thing you can remember.
>Once those eyes caught you, once they shook you, you forgot.
>You just... forgot everything.
>”Oh, are those new clothes?” He regards you a moment, and your head spins.
>Sweet Celestia... he recognizes you?
>You can only nod dumbly.
>"Did you need help finding something?"
"I-I, no. I was just wondering if, uh..." Your eyes drift, but when they turn up to meet his again, your stomach flutters and the words die. “ I-if maybe you were, u-uhh…”
>"... hmm?" There isn't a single hint of judgement or falseness in his grin as he awaits you, but that only intensifies the pounding in your ears.
>>
>>33929543
>The sole item you have for purchase hovers up between you without a word further uttered, and you can only pray to Haycartes he understands.
>”Just this?” He collects the ritzy comb as you offer it, searching for its tag as you fish out your coin purse.
>You’re already desperate to march your conversation beyond 'hello', so you tear your eyes away from his and try to form a complete sentence.
"How does it look? Er, rather," you clear your throat. "Do you think it suits me?"
>He ponders the question a moment, examining you and the item individually, and then together, lifting it to gaze at you through the teeth.
>"Hmm, well..." The anticipation is killing you, and he might have noticed, because he lowers the item back onto the countertop with an assuring look. "You do have a certain charm together."
"R-really?"
>He flips it over, revealing the price-tag on the rear with a shrug. "... little pricey for a comb."
"O-oh no, not at all. In fact, I recently, uh–-"
>’No wait, don't talk about money yet, he'll think you're obnoxious!’
>Your sputter, and for a few grueling seconds your brain leaves you in suspense.
"I collect them." You mentally recoil as the words leave your mouth.
>His head tilts. "You collect... combs?"
>'No! W-wait, yes!'
"I-I… I think so?"
>Unphased at your non-answer, the young male looks back down at the item for a moment more before flipping it back over, obscuring the tag and revealing the little pearls on the opposite side.
>"Interesting hobby…” His smile returns, as does the flutter in your stomach. “Well, if they're all this nice, it must be quite the collection."
>He takes your money, bags the little comb, and pushes it across the countertop.
>Just like that, your transaction is complete.
>You have no other logical reason to take up his time now, all save one, and your chest thunders harder than ever at the realization, pounding the will to act into you.
>>
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>>33929544
>”I hope you like it,” he says politely, “Thank you for shopping at Posey’s, have a nice day.”
“Pleasegooutwithme.”
>The human’s professional expression falters.
>A horrible silence follows, one that feels endless.
>His brow furrows a bit, and he blinks down at you. “... I’m sorry?”
>The pressure is crushing now, and for a few fleeting seconds of weakness you entertain the possibility of escape, knowing he hadn’t heard.
>But that was the old Moondancer.
>You squirm, bowed but unbroken, fighting to remember the words that could make him yours.
“I was just wondering if, uh… you maybe wanted to go somewhere later? With me? T-together?”
>The human is unreadable.
>He leans down slow, placing his elbows on the countertop to bring himself closer to eye level with you.
>“You mean... on a date?”
>’No!’ you want to say. ‘It doesn’t have to be serious! We could just go out as friends, just friends...’
>The old Moondancer was ‘just friends’ with colts, after all...
>Your back straightens unbidden, chest swelling.
>The full force of whatever courage you still had is spent on meeting his gaze, and what came next would put you farther in the red than you’d ever been.
>You aren’t even sure what you’re about to say, but you know you need to say it.
“I-I think–-” The very foundation of you shakes, and you fight to stay together. “I think you’re amazing.”
>His eyes widen.
“We haven’t talked much, but I’ve been thinking about you... ever since we met. I just didn’t have the courage to say anything until now. I wish I had...”
>You’re starting to feel some adrenaline.
>A small part of you still thinks you should stop, but it’s getting harder and hard to hear.
>>
>>33929546
“If you’re willing... I’d like to have dinner some time so we could talk. If not... that’s okay. If you just want to be friends, that’s okay too, I just...” You rub a fetlock against your upper foreleg a let the words flow. “I just want to be around you. Learn more about you, make you laugh, hear your voice… anything. As much as I can, as much as you’re comfortable with. S-so, if you’re willing, I…”
>You turn back to gauge his reaction, to see whether you needed to apologize for harassing him or apologize for overwhelming him.
>A flush, shaken scarlet face stares back at you.
>”I-I didn’t…” he tries to respond in the lul of your speech, but the shoe seems to be on the other hoof now; he’s speechless.
>You can’t tell whether that’s good or bad, but that’s alright.
>Your vigor is beginning to ebb, and you’d said what you needed to.
>That was enough.
>Your inner world is still in a strange limbo between uproar and serenity, but after a steadying breath, the little bag sitting atop the counter obediently hovers toward you in a solid purple aura.
“That’s all I wanted to say, so, uh… thanks, for listening.”
>You turn to leave and are startled when the human hunches over the counter to reach after you. ”N-no! Wait! Don’t go… please.”
>The sound of that voice pleading stops you with a compulsion stronger than any spell.
>Convinced that you weren’t going anywhere, he kneels and flings open a cabinet beneath the register.
>The sounds of hurried frustration as he digs around inside draws you back, and eventually he rises to produce a pencil and a strip of parchment.
>He scribbles several things down, pausing occasionally between points to think, and when he finishes, he half-folds the page and quickly passes it along into your magic.
>Scribbled inside are the basic earth pony characters for the days of the week, and listed tidily beneath each are ranges in time from am to pm.
>It’s his work schedule...
>”I’m usually off by around five, so...”
>>
>>33929550
>You slowly peer up at him in disbelief.
>He’s better at hiding his nerves than you, but he still begins to fiddle with the pencil in his hands the longer you don’t say anything.
>It’s so surreal to be on the other side for once, and the fact that it was a colt, and him, made it feel all the more striking.
“Friday, at six?” you offer, running purely on instinct.
>”That sounds great.”
“Great…so…?”
>“I’ll see you here on Friday?”
“Absolutely,” you answer.
>”At six?”
“Yeah.”
>”G-great.”
“Yeah…”
>He looks away coyly.
>He’s smiling again, and it’s changed somehow, special, like it’s only meant for you.
>An alien feeling of contentment you didn’t know you were missing begins to bubble up in your breast, and you linger for a while, just existing beside him.
>It takes an embarrassingly long time before you remember that you can’t stare at him forever and, in fact, are supposed to be on your way out.
>Knowing that there was still a chance you could screw this all up, you hastily tip your head to him and move for the exit at the rear of the store, looping the little twine bag he’d given you around your neck.
>As you step through and back out into Canterlot proper, you pause, and chance look back.
>He’s looking, too.
>He watches your departure through lidded eyes until the door swings shut behind you.

>A strong afternoon sun beats down on your coat from above, but its warmth is nothing compared to the raw heat and energy starting to course beneath your fur.
>This is real... isn’t it?
>The butterflies you’d been collecting in your tummy since you woke up this morning suddenly surge up out tip of your horn, exploding into multicolor fireworks overhead.
>You laugh and laugh, until your lungs burn, making a foal of yourself to disturbed passersby as you half-trot, half-dance down the sidewalk, sparks flooding out of your crown all the while.
>You can’t go back to your dark little shack, not like this.
>You’re going on a date.
>>
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>>33929553
>You’re going on a date in THREE DAYS.
>Ponies needed to know about this, any ponies.
>Ponies you pass in the square and at the library, in the road and in the alleys, uptown and down, in the shade and in the sun, upper crust and working-class.
>You tell your friends, you tell your enemies, you tell your mom.
“He said yes!” you shriek at them all, “he said YES!”
>And when the sun begins to set and you’ve run out of ponies to tell, then and only then do you trudge back home, not in defeat, for once, but glorious exhaustion.
>As you retreat at long last to your bedroom, you can hardly recall what happened to you over the last few hours, save for the choice, key moments you’re sure will stick till end of your days.
>Your glasses are on the coffee table, your sweater the couch, your mane clip on your desk, and the bag around your neck ends up a drawer with all the other things you’d ever bought at Posey’s; but there’s one thing you don’t discard.
>There’s a slip of marked paper cradled in your hooves, and with a blissful sigh, the new Moondancer presses it to her pursed lips and collapses into her bed, spent.
>>
>>33929534
The best isn’t good enough, they all look comparatively worse as the Gen’s progress. But hey we all have our opinions
>>
>>33929558
is the sheepposting that's sprung up ironic shitposting or do anons actually like it? i don't keep up with /vp/ memes
>>
>>33929562
It’s all memes on the chans
>>
Memes are the lowest common denominator of popular culture.
>>
>>33929363
How to piss off a princess, and in turn three other princesses, in eight easy steps!
Unless she's playing 4D chess and trying to speed along immigration talks so Anon fucks off
>>
>>33929524
I'll bet that once Pokemon has the equivalent of the US in there, they'll put out Pokemon: Gun/Burger.
>>
>>33929621
That's Black and White dumbass, New York to be specific, but still.
>>
>>33929626
Nigga, I haven't played a pokemon game since red/blue/yellow. I don't know what the fuck they've done since then. All I know is that there have been memes about the sword/shield with the scottish lass and that Ash has not won a championship in 20+ years.
>>
>>33929631
Then what are you complaining about?
>>
>>33929593
Truly syphoning the strong from the weak. People have integrated it into their daily lives, thus lowering the standard of intelligence. So much, inconsistency, and unfiltered garbage flowing at extreme rates. A.I will be the end
>>
>>33929626
There was already a black and white
>>
>>33929644
Did you repeat what I just said to get dubs?
>>
>>33929537
>I heard you guys liked being romanced by cute horses?
You heard right.

>>33929540
>>33929543
>>33929544
>>33929546
>>33929550
>>33929553
>>33929555
Moondancer is top tier waifu. Thanks for writing, Anon.
>>
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>>33929555
checked and super fucking adorable
>>
>>33929555
Oh fuck, damn shit flinging fucker, you shouldn't be getting flailed arms and a wide grin as a reaction you mother fucker.
>>
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>>33929555
Too wholesome
>>
>>33929555
This was an adorable story. Keep it up.
>>
>>33927194
Sounds good to me. Please do.

>>33929203
I like this. You should explore this more.

>>33929363
Kek. Kinda reminds me of that one pic where Rarity is about to stab a Stacy. I'd love more of these and the likes of LaP's Poor Human Boyz.

>>33929555
That was fantastic! You gotta write the date now. Thanks for creating and sharing.
>>
The Dazzlings are ageless, so what if they have decedents in the human world?
>After their defeat, there wasn't much left for the Dazzlings.
>Without magic, their plans for world domination were dead in the water, and they split up shortly after.
>Adagio left in search of a way to restore her powers, and Aria was done with it all and disappeared with little more than a goodbye.
>Sonata stayed in Canterlot and built a life for herself that didn't involve mind control and stealing.
>Sunset and the girls decided to help her, and thus she got a job at a taco shop.
>It was here that she was often visited by Pinkie, who wanted to keep her new friend company, and maybe beg for a few expired burritos from the heat chute, which the former villainess provided when she snagged her own lunch.
>One day, the two sat in the parking lot, eating fake Mexicolt food while shooting the breeze.
>"No way! You're a Mom?" Pinkie blurts, getting the other girl to nod.
>"Yeppers," she confirms before her chewing slows.
>She swallows and sighs wistfully.
>"That was a long time ago, though, at least a hundred years. Seeing my hubby-poo get wrinkly was hard, but when I saw my daughter get her first grey hair, I don't know... I couldn't deal and ran out. Adagio says it was for the best 'cause people were starting to notice we weren't aging and we were gonna have government spooks on our tails, but I just couldn't watch my little Diane get old."
>"Wow," Pinkie says. "That's so sad."
>"Yeah..."
>After a few seconds Pinkie tries to lighten the mood.
>"Hey, you know my middle name is Diane?"
>"Really?"
>"Ahuh! Pinkamena Diane Pie! It was my grandma's name."
>"What are the odds? You know, I think my Diane was actually dating a man named Pie. They were getting pretty serious, too. She even talked about proposing to him."
>"Huh, weird," Pinkie notes.
>They go back to eating in silence, until, a minute later, they both gasp.
>"Oh my gosh! You're my Great Granny!"
>"You're my great granddaughter!"
>>
>>33930008
Shit, I must have more of this.
>>
>>33929555
Thank you writefriend
>>
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>>33928668
>The spa rarely ever gets any mare customers.
>Rarity and Fluttershy are about the only exceptions to show up on a regular basis.
>Only colty mares go to the spa unless a stallion insists on their mare/herd going with them, which is fairly rare.
>Aloe and Lotus haven't tried to do much about this, it's just the way things are.
>But now Anon has shown that there *is* a market they have entirely missed out on.
>This could practically double their business if they could bring him onboard!
>It's really a shame the Flower Sisters seem to have claimed him already.
>But business is business, and they can be professional about things.
>And there's always a chance they'd be willing to share, 5 mares might make for a large herd, but it's not unthinkable.
>>
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>>33929427
This triggers the booze horse.
I don't drink either.
>>
>>33930027
I like this idea.
>>
>>33930008
they could just go back home. maybe maybe they had descendants there as well? I like to think their siren forms were supercharged mermaid ponies, or they were earth ponies before.
>>
>>33923673
we need general gender roles to revert in the first place. many things we believe weren't so. sometimes we're lied to. rape culture? we're the nation who kills rapist.
>>
>>33929555
Yep good job. I hope she remembers to clean up her place. Can't imagine her panic if after a few dates things lead to cuddling at her place
>>
>>33930008
>It was an exciting discovery.
>The other girls were skeptical, as was the family, but once Pinkie dug out the old family albums left by her grandma, and found Sonata's wedding photo, it was hard to deny the young girl in front of them wasn't the same bright-eyed girl in the black and white photo.
>Adagio and Aria frowning in the background helped clear up any doubt.
>After all, who else could have hair that big, or scowl that fiercely during such a joyous event?
>The Pie family were confused, but after Pinkie came home with magic pony powers, and frankly even before that, they learned not to think to hard about the zany girl's antics.
>The biggest change was Sonata finding herself joining her rediscovered family for Sunday dinner every week, as well as a teary visit to the cemetery to say her final goodbyes to her sweet Diane and ask for forgiveness.
>Other than that, Sonata kept slinging taco meat like a boss, especially because she had already reached management for showing such enthusiasm for the job, and her occasional conversations with her great granddaughter became far more regular.
>They hung out constantly, and Sonata even started going to Canterlot High just to spend time with the girl.
>It was here that she caught sight of something that made her eyes glint with mischief.
>It was a normal day, she was chatting with Pinkie by the girl's locker as they prepared to head home.
>A boy was rushing passed when Pinkie yanked a bunch of balloons from her locker and stumbled into him, sending the both to the linoleum.
>What got the elder girl excited was the bright blush on both teens' faces as they apologized and both scrambled to help each other up, which only lead to a bigger tangled mess of limbs.
>"Oh Gosh! I'm so sorry, Anon!"
>"Crap! Pinkie, sorry! I should have been watching where I was going!"
>"Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"
>"I'm fine, but what about you?"
>"Okay, but I made you drop all your books! Here, let me get those for you!"
>>
>>33929555
>tfw retail monkey and going to think about this all day.
>>
>>33930142
>"Shit, your balloons are getting away! I got them!"
>As the two stumble around each other, one bent low and the other reaching high for balloon strings, Sonata barely contains a squeal.
>Especially as both sport huge blushes as they exchange each other's belongings, Pinkie biting her lip and the boy rubbing the back of his head.
>"Sooo... Be seeing you, Pinks."
>"You too, Nonny! Sorry again for falling on you."
>"It's fine, your butt's pretty soft, so it didn't hurt when you landed on me."
>"You think my butt's soft?"
"But not in a bad way! I think it's great...! Ah... I didn't mean to say that."
>Pinkie has a shy smile that Sonata has never seen on the girl's face before the boy stammers a goodbye and runs off.
>"Pinkie, I'm going to have to invoke great granny powers and demand you tell me everything about that boy," Sonata says once the boy is around the corner. "And when I can be expecting great, great grand kids!"
>"W-what?!" the other girl squeaks. "What are you talking about? Nonny and I are just pals!"
>Sonata rolls her eyes.
>"Sure, and I'm a fish."
>"But I thought you were."
>"Not right now I'm not. Do you see any gills? Now dish! Tell me all about that cutie and how you're reeling him in!"
>"I'm not reeling anyone!" Pinkie insists. "We're just friends."
>"Really?"
>"Really!"
>"Really, really?"
>"Yes, really, really!"
>"Like, for realsies?"
>"Granny Nata!"
>"Okay, okay, I get it," Sonata concedes with a sigh. "Granny Nata obviously needs to help her poor ol' grandchild become a grandwoman and get in that cutie's pants."
>"What?!"
>"Don't you worry, Pinkie. I'll teach you all the moves. You know, vocal exercises aren't just for singing. Take a man into your throat and hum a little diddy, and you'll make his swimmers extra giddy."
>"Oh my gosh..."
>"You sure do know how to pick'em, too. He's one hot tamale. I wouldn't mind making an inter-generational sandwich with that slab of deli meat."
>"Please stop talking."
>>
>>33929459
Fuck, Anon. I'm still rubbing the sleep from my eyes and I think I pulled something laughing so hard.
>>
>>33930144
Continue. Granny Sirens is a fun concept that never gets explored enough.
>>
>>33930144
>Take a man into your throat and hum a little diddy, and you'll make his swimmers extra giddy.
All of this is fantastic but this particular line got me
>>
>>33930144
This is great! I'm a fan of "Grandma Nata's Tatas" and I'd love to read an RGRE take on the premise. Please continue.
>>
>Stallions are very valuable to the pony society because they become fertile only for a few days every year and there is only a 10% chance that a mare gives birth to a stallion
>That's why stallions are protected and cared for by mares
>>
>>33930545
You don't need to make stallions go into heat, mares already have that covered.
>>
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>>33930008
>>
>Ow.
>Once again, ow.
>Everything hurts.
>It feels like you've been hit by a freight train that was hauling another train.
>What were you even doing before-
"THE SCEPTER!"
>You and your team came to Canterlot to get into its forbidden vault and now you were...
>Where were you?
>It was pitch black in here save for what looked like a window to the night sky.
>You look yourself over, checking for your equipment and any damage.
>It looked like everything was there.
>Did you just fall into some kind of trap?
>A trap that put you in a chair next to a table?
>...
>It's fine, right now there was an open window that...
>Is moving towards you?
>"We were wondering if you would awake. Tell Us, is the pain manageable or do you need something for it?"
>Oh.
>Buck you.
>You rip the pendant off your neck and slam it into the table, instantly shattering it.
>It had a memory erasure spell tied specifically to you that...didn't work appearantly.
>Why didn't it work?!
>It was supposed to be-
>"Do not bother leaving your seat. You will find that any attempts to do so will end...violently."
>CLUNK
>You throw your left hoof up as the room is bathed in a deep crimson light being projected from the right of the starry maned princess.
>Wait.
>This is Princess Luna.
>You wanted the scepter to get rid of her and she's right in front of you!
>"We must admit that We are impressed."
>Your right hoof slowly starts to shift downwards.
>"Doing such a thing in the middle of the day, well, many are calling you mad."
"They won't be saying that when-"
>"But We believe you to be afraid."
>You can't help but sneer at this imposter.
"And what do we have to be afraid of?"
>The sound is so soft, you barely notice it despite how quite the room is.
>Your eyes flick over to the noise where you see a smooth headed mace sitting on the table next to whatever is projecting the light.
>For the first time since you joined the sisterhood, you begin to feel a touch of fear.
>>
>>33930561
>It's not her.
>It can't be her.
>You look up, and up, and up until you are finally looking into what was making the light.
>It was a thin line curved upwards into a crescent moon that looked like a cruel smile.
"Blood Moon. Oh, Celestia help me."
>Some say she was a deformed tauress born in Tartarus that made her way out.
>Others say she was a dragon that had her wings ripped off by the dragon lord for her cruelty.
>Even more say that Princess Luna entered the dream realm to find the most wicked nightmare she could and gave her a physical form.
>Luna chuckles darkly.
>"Oh, my /little/ pony. There is no Celestia here. There is only me and one of my moons. And do you know what I do with moons?"
>KRRSSCCHHZZT
>With an explosion of light, the metal ball is reshaped into a glowing red disc.
>"I raise them."
>Without a seconds delay, the mace turned axe is hefted into the air above your head.
>"And I LOWER THEM!"
>You don't even think as you leap from your chair, the mana charged axe cleaving it in half and taking a hunk of your tail with it.
>Luna simply tuts as Blood Moon bears down on you.
>"Oh, you poor thing. I told you not to get out of your seat. Is there anything you would like me to tell your comrades before you die?"
>You reach into your belt and grab the small device, tugging at the string at the top of it before tossing it at the monster.
>It sails through the air and...
>Stops?
>You watch as the axe reverts to its previous form and flings the device back at you, blowing a hole in the wall and probably blowing out your ears too.
>The explosion leaves a massive hole that you could easily get through.
>You move for it only for Luna to call out.
>"You had best not. She only gets worked up when her food starts running."
>Food.
>This monster was going to feed you to one of her nightmares.
>You turn back, shaking, and look at the princess as the beast made a slow march towards you.
"So am I just supposed to stand here and let it kill me?"
>>
>>33930565
>With a wave of her horn, Luna lifts up the two halves of the chair and puts them back together.
>"Sit back down and we'll talk things through."
>So this is it.
>Die or become a traitor.

~~~~~~~~~~

>By the stars are you tired.
>Sure it was a good call to get up, but who in Equestria is up at one in the afternoon?
>...
>Normal ponies.
>That's when normal ponies are up.
>Still, this was a good night-days work and the new training regiment for your guards clearly paid off.
>You open the cupboard and look for a drink before finally deciding on something from one-oh-two.
>The first one-oh-two.
>Because the calendar reset after your banishment for some reason.
>Thankfully you hid your collection of drinks very safely in that castle, so when you got back you were able to get something from its ruined husk.
>You put the bottle and two glasses on the table before calling out.
"Any complaints?"
>You can just hear the foot steps from behind you as he walks to the seat on your left, his armor outpacing him to pull it out for him as you pour the drink.
>"I don't think you understand the good cop, bad cop routine."
"I do. I just adapted it a little, /Blood Moon/."
>He growls at your grinning face.
>"If I ever find the edgy little shit that gave that name, I'm going to kick them to your moon."
>You push the drink over to him, a small smile on your lips.
"Well you did earn the name."
>He takes a small sip of his drink and rolls his eyes.
>"The city was being invaded. Was I just supposed to stand there?"
>You shrug and take a sip yourself.
"There's also the blood magic, but yes. That seems to be what modern combat has become for Equestria. Disable, disarm, and disengage."
>Anonymous shakes his head.
>"You just...compress entire wars into singular battles. It's absurd."
"I am well aware."
>You stop to take a momentary sip of your drink.
"And have talked to my sister about it at great length."
>He shakes his head.
>>
>>33930567
>"I don't know what's more absurd. The idea of singular battle wars without killing, or the fact that your sister somehow enacted that across the entire world."
"Hm. That mare is so bull headed I sometimes think she is a minotaur disguised as a pony. And while we're on the subject of disguises-"
>You point at his armor, which was standing behind him and looking at you just as he was.
"How is yours treatng for you?"
>Anonymous nods, the head of the armor making a similar motion but in its own stiff, jerky way.
>"Aside from pretending to be a woman, it's fine. Finally got those kinks worked out of the knee joints and the link I have with it seems as strong as ever. There's a bit of an issue with the impact gel, but so long as I don't jump off of the side of the city I'll be fine."
>The armor shifts in place, the matte black metal making it almost invisible in the nearly lightless room.
>The face was incredibly smooth, the only blemish being the visor in the shape of a crscent moon.
>The body itself looked as if a hunk of metal tried to grow into a living creature, but forgot a couple of steps.
>Which is pretty much exactly what happened.
>To think that the one creature without a drop of magic in their body was able to not only use blood magic, but seemingly master it.
"I remember what it was like growing a pair of wings. How is it to have an entirely seperate body?"
>He simply shakes his head before taking another sip of his drink.
>"It's a little difficult. At least it was until I gave it a proto-brain to help manage its movement, but I still have to track two different bodies when I'm outside of it."
"Well, I hope you've had some practice trottong around outside it, because you'll need it."
>"I'm sorry princess, but I kind of need the reputation. If it's found out that I'm male, well, you know."
"Were it up to me, you would stay in that armor until you are ready to retire. But as it stands, my sister wants to give you a medal for your deeds today."
>>
>>33930568
>"...I'm guessing she'll want to give it to me in public."
"Yes. And while you may try to go in armor, I'm sure she'll ask you to remove at least the helmet. And since your armor is designed to be all or nothing, that will be an issue."
>Anonymous looks down at his drink and slowly swirls it.
>"Well shit."

----------

I was having trouble writing so I wrote up a little bit of something I plan on eventually doing.
More Fuctional Dysfunction coming eventually.
>>
>>33929524
The new bird pokemon looks dope though.
>>
>>33930569
Looking forward to the stories. Thanks for the little appetizer green.
>>
>>33930008
This sounds like it coould be incredibly fun
>>
>>33930569
eh, the blood magic bit is interesting, but the rest is edgy/10 and I honetly don't know what the fuck was happening
>>
>>33930840
>edgy/10 and i didn't know what was happening
But that is why edgy is fun
>>
>>33930027
daily reminder that aloe and lotus are the lewdest pones in the series
https://derpicdn.net/img/2017/7/4/1478355/full.jpeg
>>
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>>33930924
You're a moron.
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>>33930144
>Take a man into your throat and hum a little diddy, and you'll make his swimmers extra giddy.
jesus christ anon
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>>33930945
>Wingless dragon
>Disfigured minotaur
>Obviously Anon hiding his gender
>Obvious good cop/bad cop
No u
>>
>>33930936
>you only get to see this if you order the "happy ending" massage
>>
>>33930144
>I wouldn't mind making an inter-generational sandwich with that slab of deli meat."
oh my
>>
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What's the general consensus: Is Pinkie l-lewdest of horses, or the most innocent? If she were to ever engineer a situation so that you fell on top of her or she fell on top of you, would she do it to give her some masturbation fuel later on, or because she just wants belly rubs from you?
>>
>>33930569
Meh, not sure if want. Too edgy for me but I'm sure others will like it. I wasn't sure what was going on most of the time.
>>
>>33931126
She's quantum lewd, a schrodingers pervert if you will.
She is simultaneously a sex fiend and innocent angel along with everything inbetween until observation collapses her waveform.
>>
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>>33931126
I lean towards belly rubs but I'm sure she's had thoughts. It wouldn't surprise me if she took advantage of a situation should one arise.
>>
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>>33931145
>schrodingers pervert
god damn this is a thread of keks today
>>
>>33931145
>until observation collapses her waveform

>You are Anon, and you sure are sitting on a couch right now.
>Pinkie Pie trots over to you, a noticeable sway in her pink hips.
>"Hey, Nonny?" she purrs as she rears up and braces her hooves on your knees, "I heard Twilight talking about a bunch of sciencey stuff. Something about stuff that can be things and not be things at the same time."
>With a wiggle of her rump, Pinkie fully hops up onto your lap.
>She leans in nice and close and begins to rub her cheek against your own.
>You can feel her hot breath on your ear, making you involuntarily shiver.
>When Pinkie speaks next, it's in a husky whisper.
>"You wanna collapse my waveform, sweet cheeks?"
>>
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>>33931126
Teenage 'Fresh off the farm' ponka is the best,
>ywn be in ponyville long before the show starts, working part time at the spa as a professional scritcher.
>ywn show a bright eyed and bushy tailed pinkie around the town and introduce her to everypony.
>ywn give her the feeling of a party in her tummy but it's just the two of you and it's cozy with hot cocoa and a roaring fire and not really like a party at all unless sprinkles can count as confetti.
>>
>>33931126

Story time...
>https://pastebin.com/Q91JmgmQ
>>
>>33931224
>Teenage Pinkie forgot in all her excitement to find a place to stay
>That's partly why she's living with her employers in present day
>You're already in town and have just finished settling in, and you don't mind a roommate
>Cue Pinkie continuing the tradition of waking people up at the crack of dawn via crawling into your bed
>>
>>33930144
>"But not in a bad way! I think it's great...! Ah... I didn't mean to say that."
Supposed to be a greenline.
>"Pinkie, I'm going to have to invoke great granny powers and demand you tell me everything about that boy," Sonata says once the boy is around the corner. "And when I can be expecting great, great grand kids!"
>"Sure, and I'm a fish."
>"Not right now I'm not. Do you see any gills? Now dish! Tell me all about that cutie and how you're reeling him in!"
>"Really?"
>"Really, really?"
>"Like, for realsies?"
>"Okay, okay, I get it," Sonata concedes with a sigh. "Granny Nata obviously needs to help her poor ol' grandchild become a grandwoman and get in that cutie's pants."

>"Don't you worry, Pinkie. I'll teach you all the moves. You know, vocal exercises aren't just for singing. Take a man into your throat and hum a little diddy, and you'll make his swimmers extra giddy."
Also this line here is funny as shit.
>"You sure do know how to pick'em, too. He's one hot tamale. I wouldn't mind making an inter-generational sandwich with that slab of deli meat."
We need more of this.
And these are also supposed to be black.
Granny Nata is the POV character here.
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>>33930522
Wish it would be finished.
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>>33931145
Makes sense.
>>
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>>33930027
>spoiler
That'll be either the lewdest or prudist herd in Equestria.
>>
>>33929524
It's literally just sif. Also why in gods name do they keep doing legendary dogs and birds?
>>
>>33931337
I dunno. I don't know why they're even trying to stick to an animal motif since they haven't had any animal-looking pokemon since Diamond and Pearl hit in 2007. There's a pokemon that looks like keys on a key ring, for god's sake. Then again, I can't really blame them: I personally wouldn't be able to come up with 150 original and unique creatures, let alone 800+ of them.
>>
>>33931348
>Looks at Digimon first season
Yup, I'd believe it. Totally bro.
>>
>>33930569
Please don't just have a bunch of incomplete ties in the first part. This isn't learning how to swim where you can yell "Swim bitch!" and throw your story in deep. Just makes people confused.
>>
>>33931348
Well it would be okay if we already didn't have legendary dogs (Entei Rioku and suicune or however it's spelt.) I mean, why not just make the legendary some sort of humanoid thing like a samurai fool or something. Some sort of human myth. Not just sif from darksouls.
>>
>>33931348
>There's a pokemon that looks like keys on a key ring.
This argument makes zero sense considering Voltorb and electrode exist.
Literally just balls.
>>
>>33931408
Lore says humans fucked around with pokeballs and accidentally created voltorbs, that's why they look like balls. Are you trying to sell the idea that every pokemon that looks like a man-made object was created in a lab? Because after I typed that sentence out, I realized that I would honestly believe it. They already made Porygon, and he was... what, a 'digital pokemon' or something?
>>
>>33931414
Porygon is the child maiming pokemon, with usual techniques include giving them seizures.
>>
Shitty doomed humanity prompt
>Humanity finally achieves space travel advanced enough to fully explore the solar system
>A massive explosion in population was inevitable
>Unfortunately after centuries of civilization the system had run out of resources
>The new humanity was apathetic towards their own home system and saw it as a waste of remaining resources to restore
>They've tried before, trying to restore life on Earth after it was turned into a world wide dust bowl
>The engineered plants grew out of control and covered the continents and grew back faster than they were burned
>The cloned animal life assumed dead
>Multiple attempts made in the past to save what they ruined, the current humans gave up and left, spreading out to other solar systems
>They swore to not make the same mistakes as their ancestors
>They all went into their cryo pods with their AI piloting the ships
>All but one unfortunate ship abandoned the system
>Anon, the last human of Sol, had poor luck
>While he was in cryo sleep his ship was hit by a small piece of debris
>His ship now orbits Earth, waiting countless years waiting for it's captain to awaken
>But that won't happen, not without outside help

>Twilight looks through her telescope gazing at a peculiar object
>It was thought to be a shooting star at first but Luna never scheduled any
>And it looks like its falling into the planets gravity well for the first time in who knows how long
>>
>>33931267
Me too.

>>33931273
A little bit of both I'd hope.
>>
>>33931431
I'd rather just have a Anon from Killing Floor dropping into Equestria after helping Satan kill Kringle.
>>
>>33931431
There was as similar prompt not too long ago. Only it was an Anon returning to see what became of the ancient Terran system. He ends up crash landing on what is now Equus.
>>
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>>33931414
Porygon is man-made, yes.
Klefki is based on old folklore about fae creatures stealing things like keys, shoes and what not.
They decided just keys works better i guess.
It doesnt look so bad when you remember the keys are shit it's collected and not actually part of it's body.
>>
>>33931469
That's not so bad, I guess.
>>
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>>
>all this pokemon talk
>trainer-Anoninnaquestria
>except this time, he's from Alola
>doesn't have a big squad of waifumon, but instead has one of those mud horses
>some of the mares immediately start hitting on it
>big and tall, clearly he would be an ideal father and be able to carry their many foals
>however the pokemon is a gentle giant, and while very flattered by their attentions, just can't bring itself to tell them that she's a girl
>>
>>33931536
She looked cuter before.
>>
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>>33931431
This makes me think of eclipse phase desu
>>
>>33931675
>ywn start dating Coloratura
>ywn watch her turn from a sweet mare into Countess Coloratura
>ywn unhappily watch as her singing eats up her time and her attitude at home changes - less the mare you fell in love with, and more as the Countess
>ywn go with her to one of her concerts, as you always do
>ywn find a mare called Applejack who is in the middle of an argument with her
>ywn catch her eye and motion her over to you
>ywn hatch a plan together to ditch that fucking manager (who had been encouraging this behaviour) and teach Coloratura a letter in self-acceptance
>ywn stand next to her and watch as she burns her shitty pop-star outfit
>>
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Most wholesome waifu right here. Unicorns are mare-whores and birbs are too flighty for real relationships. This right here is the pony master race of waifus.
>>
>when your husbando doesn't have any magic in his body because he's not native to Equestria, and that means you can't innately sense his presence around you
>when the horse-lizard part of your brain is screaming at you that the love of your life is dead because he's not appearing on the little magical radar in your head
>when waking up in the middle of the night shortly after your husbando got out of bed to go to the bathroom is terrifying to your half-asleep self, because you're not awake yet and as such you don't have the presence of mind to remind yourself that Anon is still here and he's not going anywhere
>>
>"I like three things in my colt.
>"He needs to be tall."
>"He needs to be a fair of all things pertaining to the night, with the ability to if not fully than partially see in the dark."
>"He also needs to be a screamer."
>"You seem to very efficient two out of the three."
>"Come, let us fuck long and hard until my sister's sun rises, then let us fuck some more."
>>
>>33931961
>The average mare is waist-height, meaning that an alicorn is (if you include the horn) at head-height with you
>You can't see shit in the dark thanks to shitty human eyes
W-Welp, guess time will only tell if I qualify for 2 out of 3 of those conditions.
>>
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>>33931815
>While Anon can't be sensed magically his scent can still be caught
>Soon Ponka starts making a habit of wearing Anon's shirts around the house and when she goes to work
>Everytime the horse-lizard part of her brain goes '404 husbando not found' she takes a sniff of the shirt to calm her nerves
>>
>>33932026
"P-Pinkie? What are you-"
>"I'M SNIFFING YOUR UNDIES FOR SCIENCE, ANON"
But seriously, that's cute as hell.
>>
>>33932030
>She ends up noticing that you haven't been wearing that cute ball bra she bought you a while back because she doesn't smell you on it
>>
>>33932065
I'm picturing the scene now: Pinkie confronting Anon. She's up on her hind legs, has a colt's testicle bra stretched across her muzzle, and she's pointing dramatically at Anon.

>"Ah-HAH! The jig's up, Nonny! I can't smell ding-dong or nothin'!"
>>
Lewd, Trixie horse. Would listen to her lore talk and paint horse miniatures with her
>>
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Pinkie's honestly the most wholesome waifu. All she wants is for you to be happy, nothing more. And it breaks her heart when she wakes up and realizes that she dreamed that the two of you were a couple again.
>>
>>33932180
>"N-no anon I have no idea why your entire supply of Dragonsoil Coffee was replaced with Saddle Arabian Aphrodesiac Coffee."
>>
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>>33932188
delet this
>>
>>33932188
>>33932251
>Fresh-off-the-rock-farm Pinkie has no idea how to talk to Anon
>She's smitten with him, but living on an isolated rock farm her entire life hasn't done wonders for her social development
>Luckily, Anon finds her awkward bumbling to be really endearing.
>>
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God i want to just drown myself in her mane.
>>
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>>33932254
>Cupcakes covereth a multitude of socially awkward sins.
II would ignore a lot of shit if it came accompanied by free baked goods.
>>
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"Wait, you're HOW OLD again..!?"
>"U-uh. Surprise?"
>>
>>33932275
>I'm 170 years old Anon. How old are YOU?
>>
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>>33932282
35
>>
>>33932275
>tfw no big teaty goth pone gf
>>
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>>33932291
>Tfw this makes you practically a toddler to ponies
>>
>>33931458
>Megastructure mechanic Anon gets sent to repair an automated agri-world stopped sending shipments
>No FTL means a lot of time can pass before a problem has been realized
>Finds the AI governnor has gone insane and started reenacting old Earth cartoons

Can the girls stop the mad alien and his quest for uptime? Find out next week!
>>
>>33932274
>Pinkie decides to use a message written in icing on cupcakes
>Wanted to only use 6 (colts love sweets, but they're also concerned about their figures), but she couldn't fit the message on just 6 of them
>"Do you maybe wanna hang out some time I mean if that's cool with you cuz you don't have to if you don't want to but I think it would be super duper fun if you said 'yes' " doesn't fit on 6 cupcakes
>Pinkie nervously balances two boxes containing a baker's dozen each of cupcakes on her back as she approaches you
>>
>>33932324
>Ponies live hundreds of years
>You do not
>You noticed big teaty goth pone gf's behaviour was rather... youthful all too late
>You felt a pit in your stomach when you asked her how old she is
>"170... I-I mean that's not a big deal! I'm legally an adult in only 10 years! So, like, I don't think anything has to change. I'm mature."
>Reveal that you are, well... significantly younger than she is
>big teaty goth pone gf realizes that, from her perspective, she's dating a little colt
>"...that's kinda hot..."
>>
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>>33932463
>Word somehow gets out about this, not necessarily because the big tiddy goth gf told someone.
>Suddenly half the town is asking you if they can be your mommy and the other half is asking if they can be your "mommy".
>>
>>33932488
Big teaty goth gf has to fuck you in front of all the other ponies. It's the only way to establish dominance over them.

>"MY coltfriend! MINE."
>>
>>33931815
"lil Bubblegum, never forget that no matter where I go, my heart will always be right here with you."
>>
>>33932463
>You get old and die just as she is entering her adult years, leaving her heartbroken.
Extreme aging differences a shit.
>>
>>33932541
>Not putting together a suicide pact so that you die together
Amateur. That's how marriage works.
>>
>>33932463
>Horses live as long as terran ones do.
>40-50 years max while they are considered adults at 3-5.
>Anon is still around to make sure his many times great grandfoal whippersnappers aren't acting like little shits by age 60.
>He's practically the village dad who's protected his village since anypony can remember from woves and bears, screaming and banging sticks together to chase them off, and teaching ponies, who would instinctively run away to stand their ground to make eye contact.
>So much so ingraned, that no mare wil mare a move on him after his first died.
>It suits him just fine.
>He never had the heart to love another mare.
>>
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>>33931815
>>33932527
>nobody will ever care this much about you
>>
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>>33932459
>Anon of course says yes.
>But can't help but ask why she insisted on using 24 individual cupcakes instead of just writing it out on a regular sheet cake, that would surely have been easier?
>>
>>33932545
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(practice)

>funeral custom where a widow immolates herself on her husband's pyre or takes her own life in another fashion shortly after her husband's death

>In Cuttack, a woman dropt herself into a burning pit, and rose up again as if to escape, when a washerman gave her a push with a bamboo, which sent her back into the hottest part of the fire. This is said to be based on the set of official documents. Yet another such case appearing in official papers, transmitted into British journals, is case 41, page 411 here, where the woman was, apparently, thrown twice back in the fire by her relatives, in a case from 1821.
>>
Lets be real. Any one of us would be overjoyed with any pony, but ponk would become irritating after a long while.
>>
>>33932584
Panka would mellow a bit with age. She'd get a little less crazy once you had your first foal together
>>
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>>33932592
This
>>
>>33932610
and also this
https://derpibooru.org/1792950?q=mama+pinkie&sf=score
>>
>>33932275
>"My sister was fucked by an older stallion!"
>>"...nice. How was he fucking her?"
>"I-i don't know, like...in the butt?"
>Whole ponice station starts nodding
>>"Nice. Niiiice."
>>
>>33932495
>Announcing to the whole town that you're dating the pony equivalent of a 5 year old
That's sure to go over well
>>
>>33926437
>Would you like a hug as well?
God YES
>>
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>>33932746
>filly's friends all saying nice
>filly's mother saying nice
>>
>>33932766
>Cadence finds out
>"Nice"
>>
>>33932613
>Anon died in a tragic accident, leaving Pinkie to raise their son alone.
>Anon Jr. hits puberty shortly after and starts to see his mom in a different light.
>Pinkie has been so lonely since her husband died that she becomes ever increasingly cloyingly with her son.
>Anon Jr. has a lot of confused feelings and his mom constantly hugging and kissing him isn't helping matters.
>>
>>33932847
>Getting cucked by my own son
Over my dead body. Literally.
I'm going to come back from the grave and put my rotting half skeletal foot in his ass
>>
>>33929353
>>33930027
M-moar, please. the (you)s sustain me
>>
>>33932866
I would hope most anons would be accepting of the idea that their waifus shouldn't have to spend the rest of their lives alone just because they're dead, but yeah, I would draw the line at family members and best friends.
Such people should know not to disrespect my memory by fucking my widowed wife.

>Ghost Anon sees this and starts poltergeisting the place.
>Not in an malevolent way, but enough to make his wife and son know he's around.
>Anon starts directing his son towards a filly he knows has a crush on him and that he personally approves of.
>As for Pinkie, he performs his husbandly duty and uses all of his focus and will to give her the ghost dick.
>It's like being fucked by a Popsicle, which is frankly not an entirely new experience for the mare as she thinks back to her teenage years, but it's not unpleasant, and knowing it's her love makes it all the better.
>Anon Jr's new fillyfriend is confused when her coltfriend introduces her to his parents, a pink motherly mare, and a seemingly empty space.
>>
>>33932561
26 cupcakes. Bakers dozen is 13
>>
>>33932893
I wonder if colts in Equestira are subconsciously attracted to mares that remind them of their moms?
Cheese Sandwich comes to town with his own wife and daughter, and Anon Jr. starts falling for the zany new filly.
>>
>>33930144
>"Pinkieee, we need to start making a plan of attack," whines Sonata from atop the other girl's bed. "How can you ever expect to land a catch like Anon if you don't properly strategize?"
>Pinkie's lips form a thin line as she looks through the series of magnifying glasses rigged to her work desk and adjusts the sheets of colorful paper and scissors in her hand.
>"What I need to do is finish this next batch of confetti for the party I'm throwing this weekend," she replies, making a careful slice.
>Each square of Pinkie's custom confetti was tailored to perfectly ride air currents and achieve optimal descend pattern when falling.
>And it took a lot of concentration to get it that way, something her great grandmother is robbing her off as she goes on and on about her completely non-existent crush on Anon.
>"Ooh, is Anon going to be there?"
>Pinkie resists a very un-Pinkie like sigh and answers, "Yeah, it's a celebration for the Canterlot math club getting to the finals, and he's a member."
>"Brains and looks? I'm so proud of my granddaughter's tastes!"
>"Granny Nata..." Pinkie groans.
>"Don't use that tone of voice with me, missy. You're already pushing it by lying to me and saying you don't have the hots for Anon."
>"But I don't!"
>Sonata rolls her eyes and gets up, approaching the other girl as she works and puts her hands over her eyes from behind.
>"Granny!"
>"Hush. We're settling this once and for all. You're going to do exactly what I say, or you're grounded."
>"You can't ground me!"
>"Igneous and Cloudy both told you to respect me 'cause I'm your elder. You want to see who they side with?"
>"... Fine," Pinkie concedes, setting the scissors down. "What are we doing?"
>"I want you to imagine what I tell you to."
>"Sure."
>"Good, now imagine Anon."
>"Okay."
>"Imagine him smiling."
>"Got it."
>Imagine his hand in yours.
>"O-okay."
>"Does it feel nice?"
>"What?"
>"What do you think it would feel like? Tell me."
>>
>>33931603
Mistaken identity is always good for a laugh
>>
>>33932766
She looks like she has the softest belly to cuddle face-first
>>
>>33933004
>"Um, soft, I guess, because he's kind of a bookworm. Except for his fingertips; they might be a little callus from turning pages in books."
>"Probably. Now look into his eyes. What color are they?"
>"Green."
>"What shade exactly?"
>"Bright green, like the emeralds Rarity puts on some of her dresses, or the green of new leaves budding in Spring."
>"Look a little lower."
>Pinkie giggles as her mind's eye follows the order.
>"He has the cutest little button nose."
>"He does, doesn't he?" Sonata agrees with a smirk. "And under that are his lips."
>"Well, yeah, that's where lips go on people."
>"They look plump, don't they?"
>"I, ah, I guess."
>"And warm."
>"Sure..."
>"You think they'd feel good on your lips?
>"S-sonata!"
>"Answer the question, Pinkie."
>"I dunno! Maybe?"
>"Come on, just imagine it. his warm lips on yours. His hands on your waist, yours on his, or maybe a bit more behind him."
>"That's l-lewd..."
>"You'd give them a squeeze, right? Pull him close until his chest his smooshed up against yours."
>Pinkie starts squirming in her seat, bottom lip caught between her teeth.
>"Granny..."
Sonata continues, ignoring the girl.
>"Imagine deepening the kiss, wrestling your tongue into his mouth as you dominate him. You can feel it, can't you, Pinkie? His hard bulge against your body. As you both pull away to breath, look into his eyes and see desire. He's waiting for you to say something, Pinkie. Say it, it's on the tip of your tongue,"
>"I love you..." Pinkie breathes, caught up in the fantasy the other girl crafted for her.
>Sonata drops her hands, grinning wide as the younger girl goes rigid.
>"Y-you tricked me!" she finally manages, looking back at Sonata with a bright blush and frown.
>"Just made you tell the truth," Sonata hums. "And now that that's finally out of the way, we can get back to the plan! First, your outfit! We really need to catch Anon's eye, so I'm thinking something that shows off those rockin' tatas of yours!"
>>
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>>33932766
>Popular clique's collective face when the wierdo goth filly shows up to prom with a mono date in his 20s
>>
>>33932463
>Anon is first shocked, but then he realizes.
>The pony planet moves around its star (or the other way around..?) about ten times faster than Earth.
>So technically she is 17...
"Hey, I'm in my 260's, it's alright, I don't judge."
>qt3.14 bate waifu squees in delight
>>
>>33933110
>teenage anon innaquestria
>went through pone highschool as the exotic eye candy.
>show up to prom with your qt goth friend that you met on the first day.
https://youtu.be/iyvv2J_EgTQ
>>
>>33932766
>>33933110
>That mane and tail you could run your fingers through all day, and those ears that you just have to nibble on.
>Those gorgeous violent eyes that stole your breath from day one.
>Those light speckles spattered a Ross her snoot that highlight her round, youthful face.
>That large, full tuft that's filled with her distinctive, mind-numbing mare smell.
>Those dense wings that are so delightfully warm
>That flat yet soft belly that you could rest on for the rest of your days.
>That mature, curvy rump with the same speckles as her face that full you with the need to breed.
>Those full, perky teats that only compound that ungodly need. Perfect handfuls like they were made just for you.
>And that pussy. Oh lordy. That toe curdling, ball emptying, scream inducing dickslayer must have made by a goddess. So hot, soft, and snug that you're ruined forever. All other mares are just pale imitations of yours. An alicorn could drop out of the sky and present herself and you'd tell her to get her thot ass outta here because shes garbage.
>But that heart of gold. Your dark young mare is a true saint under her bleak, broody exterior. It's that curious duality that locked you down after her beauty drew you in. Without that, the rest would be meaningless.
>She's perfection made form, and she's yours, for you're not letting go.
>You blink when you see your date's face is a solid red past her dark fur with tears prickling her eyes. The chatter of the school auditorium is also silent, with all eyes on you. The sea of faces carry different expressions.
>Most of the young mares carry expressions of anguish. Even some of the mare teachers along with wall seem the same.
>... You had a little too much of your hidden flask and spoke aloud, didn't you?
>>
>>33933134
>violent
Violet*
Ban phone posters.
>>
>>33933135
>Ban phone posters.
Ban smart phones.
>>
>>33933135
>>33933138
violet is already a word that cannot be corrected. that anon is just retarded
>>
>>33933134
>[muffled "MARRY. THAT. COLT." from the crystal empire.]
>>
Talking about age with humans and ponies living different lengths made me think...
>Humans live a very long time compared to ponies.
>A thousand years roughly.
>But this is because the life of their world moves much faster than that of Earth.
>From Anon's perspective, the creatures of Equestria are lighting fast.
>He watches ponies, along with everything else, zip around him like rabbits on cocaine.
>He can even notice the grass growing if he stares for a day.
>On the flip-side, ponies are pondering about this incredibly slow giant who has been lumbering towards town for the last two days at a sedate pace that makes turtles look spry.
>If they poke him, it takes a good few seconds for him to react, then a dozen more to turn to and glare at them.
>It's a middle-aged Granny Smith who comes up with the idea to record the creature's baritone voice and speed the record up, and it reveals words to the ponies.
"Stop poking me, you speedy bastards!"
>It's then Book Smarts, the local librarian of the Treebary who has the idea to record their own message and slow it way down.
>"Sorry, but what are you? Do all of your kind move like that?"
"Regularly and not like humming birds on speed? Yeah, we all move like this. And I'm a human."
>And so the arduous conversation goes until the ponies decide this human, Anonymous he introduces himself as, is no danger and choose to help him.
>Granny's husband, along with his son, Bright Mac make a little home for him by the creek running through the Whitetail Woods, and Anon soon finds himself in a routine.
>He prefers staying away from the village, the brightly colored ponies zipping around give him a headache and are liable to make him have a stroke if he stares for too long, and he tends to a small garden.
>It's easy to grow food for yourself when it all grows within a week or two, after all.
>He also starts to distance himself from ponies when he watches his friend, Granny Smith, wrinkle like an apple left in the sun over a few years.
>>
>>33933171
>Ponies only live for 20 years at most
>As such they can cultivate no civilization or a shitty one because there's no time to properly accumulate knowledge and so they have to learn everything from scratch each time, like cuddlefish.
Mmmmm no I'm not buying it.
>>
>>33933185
I think you've missed the crux of the difference between humans and ponies, namely that ponies move/perceive faster at the same rate as they age, so they have the same amount of perceived time as we would.
>>
>>33933185
?
You do realize that, because they are moving at high speeds, that their twenty years is a lot longer to them, right? Everything is moving faster. The day/night cycle, how fast things grow, how quickly they can learn.
I think either you missed something, or you're not thinking very hard to understand the concept.
Anon's basically from a different timetable- Everything in his universe moves slower than theirs, hence why he looks super slow to them, and them fast to him.
>>
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>>33933134
keep going anon
>>
>>33933171
>Incognito arrives in Equestria in modern times, and the Mane6 immediately go to introduce him to Anon.
>The man is always so sad to see his ponies friends age and die, that they're sure he'll be ecstatic to have a friend that will live as long as him.
>They wait as the two long-lived creatures talk.
>And they wait.
>And wait.
>And wait some more.
>Finally, Anon turns to them.
>Twilight perks up and records a question to slow down.
>"So, are you two friends now? You've been talking for hours!"
>Anon records his message, and the ponies eagerly listen.
>"We've just got done introducing ourselves. He seems alright so far, though."
>The ponies groan.
>>
>>33931267
>>33930522
Link?
>>
>>33933134
>rgre so qt goth mare picked anon up from his adoptive horse parents house.
>hidden flask.
I've just had the mental image of teenage anon growing up with the apple family, big mac slipping him the flask, AJ and AB being the protective sisters and granny smith polishing an axe in the kitchen.
>>
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>>33933209
Friggin Ents...
>>
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>>33933134
>Ear nibbling
>Thicc wings
>Butt freckles
>That everything else.
>Ditzy anon that just blurted all that out in front of the whole school.
I desire to know more about this couple.
>>
>>33932847
>>33932866
>Anon dies before his son is born
>His soul inhabits the unborn fetus
>>
>>33933411
This is sad for a number of reasons.
>>
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>>33933411
>>33933427
>A method of immortality is continiously becoming your own child.
I can see a story about this, i dont particularly want to, but i can imagine the intricies and symbolism involved.
>>
>>33933411
>>33933427
>>33933441
>Reincarnation exists in Equestria
>Unfortunately for Anon the only bodies for him to reincarnate into after his death are those of his bloodline
>>
>>33933038
This is cute
>>
When Rarity courts, she means business. You're her brightest shimmering gem, and the most precious jewel she's ever laid eyes on, and she wants you to know it.
>>
>>33933223
"Sirin' Sirens" by ApA
https://pastebin.com/M8j69iSD

It's affectionately called "Grandma Nata's Tatas" by a couple of us fans. Sadly, It hasn't updated it a while and is on Hiatus.
>>
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>hyper-janefilly Anon actually gives a shit about his strength, unlike all the stallions who just casually go to the gym to chat and look sexy
>eventually gets a job in construction on account of his body, despite the raging protest of some of the town’s more traditional mares
>not that there’s anything traditional about him, really - he can outdrink a whole table of mares, has a filthy mouth and proudly walks around in nothing but athletic socks, sandals and boxer’s trunks, lifting up and giving rides to the fillies and colts that love to play with him and flexing in front of mares for laughs
>AJ, in particular, is disgusted by his behavior to the point of publicly chastising him
>but goddammit if that bare chest and massive thighs don’t make her and the rest of town question if they’re gay
>>
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>>33933617
>>
>>33933004
>>33933038
You keep messing up lines, Sonata is supposed to be blacklines for this.
>Sonata continues, ignoring the girl.
And this is supposed to be a greenline.
>>
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needs more rgr background mares
>>
>>33933658
>captdrawslikecats
not my favorite meme 2bh
>>
>>33933038
Good stuff. Please continue.

>>33933134
Sounds comfy. Do go on.
>>
>>33933658
>This is what happened the first time you met the Flower Sisters
>This is also what happened up until about the 10th time you met the Flower Sisters
"Can you three stop that? C'mon, I'm not even that scary. In fact, fuck it - let's get some coffee or something, I'm sick of this happening every time you see me."
>You get some coffee and tell them about yourself
>They start to open up about themselves, and they figure out that you're not scary at all
>Daisy even starts to tentatively flirt with you
"And that, kids, is how I met your mothers."
>>
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>"M-Mister, ahm aimin' ta' shoot yall down if'n you don't play that pianny' the right way.."
>"One thing fer' a colt to be in a saloon, an it's another if'n he's ruinin' the good times of it's patrons.."
>"Dangit, ah said turn around an face me, stranger!"
>'...Say when.'
>>
>>33933659
I think it's cute.
>>
>>33933687
>"And that, kids, is how I met your mothers."
LOADSA FOALS
>>
>>33933753
so when you say a dozen foals, do you mean total... or each?
>>
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>>33933753
If all of your waifus aren't looking like this, you're doing it wrong.
>>
>>33933773
Total is four each.
Dozen each would be a bit unworkable in the long run unless you planned it out in advance a little.
Would definitely need the help of the first borns to help raise the new foals.
Thats practically a small village on their own.
>>
>>33932282
>>33932291
>>33932324
>mfw only 19
>mfw I'm a baby man to the ponies
>mfw no face
>>
>>33933785
That sounds like the perfect life desu
>>
>>33933687
I think I'd like a green of this.
>>
>>33933113
>ponies don't age slowly
>THE PLANET IS JUST HURTLING AROUND THE SUN AT LUDICROUS SPEED
>Anon's body is used to the speed of his planet's spin and rotation
>Roughly 1000 miles per hour and 93000 miles per hour
>But now those speeds have been amped up ten times
>As soon as Anon ended up on Equis he couldn't get one word out, nor could the ponies freak out as he was flung through the air at high speeds
>Cartoon physics means he can't be hurt
>But regular physics is keeping him grounded to the planet while also keeping him suspended and flying around the planet
>Every now and then the citizens of the planet hear the faint screaming of the flying alien getting louder and louder
>The day of his passing over head has actually become somewhat of a celebration
>Anon's throat hurts from screaming
>>
>>33933209
>"We believe if something is worth saying, it is worth taking a long time to say"
>>
>>33933171
>>33933209
>Anon and Incognito may be slow but they're freakishly strong
>When they try to fight off some beast of the Everfree one of two outcomes happen
>Either 1) The beast tires itself out from attacking the giants for hours and not getting any reaction and fucks off back to it's cave
>Or 2) One of the two pin the beast (they're so slow the beasts forget the other is even there) and the other lays a strike into the beast that has it running after just one hit because while it takes an hour to land it nearly cripples the thing
>>
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>>33933810
>Regular physics and Cartoon physics having a tug of war over anon.
>Regular physics is gradually losing as anon's body adapts to equestria.
>Until then he's in low-orbit around equis and occasionally spooks some pegasi.
>Discord takes care of his food / bathroom situation inbetween bouts of laughter.
>Rainbow dash tried to have a conversation with "The cool colt going really fast." but neither could hear the other due to the speeds involved.
>Twilight discovered he's gradually slowing down and has already drawn up plans for a giant net at the most likely place he's going to touch down.
>Luna remarks that modern colts are certainly more whimsical these days.
>>
>>33933617
>AJ, in particular, is disgusted by his behavior to the point of publicly chastising him
>Anon interrupts AJ's rant and begins bench-pressing her
>By the end of it she's as red as Mac, quiet as Flutter and walking funny
>>
>>33933822
>Luna remarks that modern colts are certainly more whimsical these days.
"Look at me Luna I'm a shooting star"
>"Friggin' colts and their whimsy"
>>
>>33933773
>>33933753
>>33933776
Anyone have that one image of Anon whispering "a dozen foals' into Rainbow Dash's ear?
>>
>>33933841
found it
i also found this while i was searching derpi https://derpicdn.net/img/2019/5/4/2030947/full.webm
>"I-it's not like I enjoy the taste of your s-salty cum."
>>
>>33933847
Thanks, Anon - for both of those.
>>
>>33933847
>That face
I just want to bury my cock in her throat.
>>
>>33933852
no prob. i may be a moonfag but i'll be damned if bluefast isn't a very pretty poner
>>
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>>33933860
>>33933852
>>33933847
We need one with this version. Rainbow Fast would love to taste it.
>>
>>33933869
god damnit why the fuck did i think the fingers on her right hand were fetlocks?
>>
>>33933890
Fuck, now I can't unsee it. She looks like a dirty cloven nigger.
>>
>>33923685
Feel free to proceed. This is pretty good
>>
>>33933928
>She looks like a dirty cloven nigger.
What are deer called in RGRE?
Forest-Ziggers?
>>
>>33933940
probably
>>
>>33933955
These are the best things to come out of this show.
>>
>Be Shining Armor
>Or, as you use to be known in your past life, Anon
>Got reborn as white knight horse where mares are the white knights
>You know about the show and know that you're supposed to be a captain and marry a princess and all that
>But no
>You're going to do what you want in your second life, no matter what your magic horse destiny has to say
>However, destiny starts fighting back
>You put your efforts into studying to to get into magic university but get kicked out of high school after some colt named Buck framed you for TP'ing the school
>With an incomplete education, you have no choice but to work for the guard to earn a military GED
>As Princess Cadence's personal guard no less
>You try to stay stoic and quite around her, but she starts flirting with cheesy pick up lines when you two are alone
>The worst part is that you're starting to like it
>>
>>33934040
Its shit.
>>
>>33934058
>>33934040
It's shit. At the very least don't have him give in so easily. If it were me I'd live in a cardboard box if I had to.
>>
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>>33934093
>implying you could resist her
>>
>>33934040
>>33934093
Its TF trash but replacing a character on top of that, fucking Shining and Candyassfags are cancer.
>>33934102
I don't like married women. Especially with a ho that has a kid. BEGONE THOT!
>>
>>33934104
She'd be married to YOU, retard.
Flurry would be YOUR kid.
>>
>>33934121
He's a zigger who runs away as soon as his girl tells him she's pregnant.
>>
>>33934121
So what is the point of making Shining Anon when you faggots just want to be Shining? Get out with this worthless backwards bullshit.
>>
>>33932282
"Depends. What base is your math system?"
>>
>>33934135
>Anon isn't happy when Anon gets together with Cadance after Shining's death
>Anon isn't happy when Anon gets together with Cadance after Shining and her break up
>Anon isn't happy when Anon gets together with Cadance before she gets together with Shining
>Anon isn't happy when Anon gets together with Cadance when Shining doesn't even exist
I'm starting to think you just don't like Cadance.
>>
>>33934147
Try being sick of you fucking Shining and Cadancefags spamming this shit every god damn thread. You faggots want them, make a prompt thread for it and get the hell out already.
>>
>>33934152
>Make a thread specifically for Cadance
>Make a thread specifically for Shining
>Make a thread specifically for Twilight
>Make a thread specifically for Luna
>Make a thread specifically for Celestia
>Make a thread specifically for Applejack
>Make a thread specifically for Rarity
>Make a thread specifically for Fluttershy
>Make a thread specifically for Rainbow Dash
>Make a thread specifically for Pinkie Pie
>Make a thread specifically for Apple Bloom
>Make a thread specifically for Scootaloo
>Make a thread specifically for Sweetie Belle
>Make a thread specifically for Lyra
>Make a thread specifically for Bon Bon
>Make a thread specifically for Carrot top
>Make a thread specifically for Derpy
>Make a thread specifically for Babs Seed
>Make a thread specifically for Dinky
>Make a thread specifically for Berry Punch
>Only post about this one pony, and never a single other pony in these pony specific threads
>Just don't make generals at all, only threads for specific ponies
>>
>>33934170
If that is what it takes to get you idiots to piss off, whatever. And that shit happens anyway, why you think pointing it out changes anything about your shit being spam is retarded.
>>
>>33934178
Please refer to the image here >>33934121
>>
>>33934152
Sad news here, Anon. All of these TF and Shining/Cadence prompts come from the same place and because of the same reason.
The anons behind them see an easy to work with scenario, one which already has premade settings - an existing character or a well supported relationship, such as the marriage of Shining Armor and Cadence - and use these to express their ideas.
One can call it lazy, but you can't deny it, anons will go far to get rid of boredom.
Since we can't just get rid of them, we might as well try a different approach. How about letting them make a whole green and go namefag, so you can block them? You can't beat them, so might as well join them, of course from a certain point of view. We have too much salt in this thread anyway, maybe it's time for a change to positivity.
>>
>>33934188
Don't bother, he won't listen. He will just keep complaining because 'I don't like thing so thing shouldn't be allowed her no matter what.'
>>
>>33934178
Maybe you should fuck off. No one appointed you thread police, faggot.
>>
>>33934188
Or just ban them and get them to leave. Giving them what they want when they won't make it themselves just encourages bad behavior. Fuck em. False positivity for shitposting makes more shitposting happen. They produce nothing and take up posts, with the same inane shit.
>>33934197
How about you leave summerfag.
>>
>>33934195
Maybe. Maybe you are right, or perhaps this is the one little push he needs to reconsider his views. Who knows. I certainly don't. But there is always hope.
>>
>>33934203
Like you aren't clogging up the thread with your own shitposting you hypocrite.
>>
>>33934040
>Puzzle out a reverse TF spell. You may not be Twilight, but you're still pretty smart.
>Transform back into your human prime. Stay human for most things, then revert back when you need to not stand out.
>Keep in touch with your family via magic letters and go adventuring.
>>
>>33934203
We are way over the half of this thread, and the next one will have the same anons posting. Even if you are right, your raging won't serve any purpose besides giving food for possible trolls.
Try to calm down, take a few deep breaths. Maybe you should write a prompt yourself, how about that? A good idea can spark interest, a possible derail from the things you dislike so much.
>>
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>>33934203
>Or just ban them and get them to leave.
Why? As long as it's RGRE, what's the fucking problem?
>>
>>33934203
>stop posting things I don't like
>>
>>33934216
I think it's a case of "I don't like thing, so no one can like it" with that faggot. I'm pretty sure it's not the first time he's thrown such a tantrum around here.
>>
>>33934216
This:
>>33934219
>>33934221
>>
>>33934206
Telling you to fuck off isn't shitposting, you faggots don't deserve to roll through unopposed, your ideas are shit, and don't need to be here. Don't like it? Leave, make a thread and do something with the shit prompt, spamming it here will get you nothing.
>>33934212
Definite trolls, however right I am it is required to tell them to fuck off, if they aren't told idiots that think its okay will come. And don't give me the bullshit, good ideas can spark interest, they have been trying the same shit with a slightly different flavor for months with nothing to show for it. There is only interest from the few shitposting.
>>33934216
>So long as I flavor my shitpost to the thread its okay.
No its not, fags aren't welcome, cuckposting isn't welcome, and this incessant spamming has gone on forever with nothing of value but the first Bandits meme. And even that is old.
Because that is the only reasons for it, to either be Shining in this iteration of shitposting, or to get gay shit in by using Cadance as an excuse.
>>
>>33934228
>projecting this hard
Faggot.
>>
Okay, Anons, you arrive in Equestria.
Congratulations!
And it's even reverse gender roles!
Woot!
... But it's also reverse genders, meaning all mares are stallions, and all stallions are mares.
Can you deal with it, Anons?
Your waifus are husbandos, and husbandos waifus.
Which mare do you seek out?
Thunderlane's female counterpart, Thunderthighs?
Caramel's female version?
Maybe you like the fillies and go for Snips and Snails, the dumb, but cute filly duo.
I know a lot of you are MILF hunters, so what about the likes of Night Light or Hando Flanks?
Or, maybe you love your waifu so much that you go after them even when they're a stallion.
Hey, you'd be a faggot, but I won't judge.
>>
>>33934228
Look, man. This place is made to share ideas. If you don't like them, you don't need to read them. Nothing and nobody is pressuring you to do so. Sure, it can take up a thread or two until they finally settle down, but it happens. It always does. I personally rather despise all the ayylmao barbie shit, yet LAP and others make greens of quality and others enjoy it. I make no comment on that, I don't read them, they go away. So, you should do just that. lurk while the threads clean out. Life isn't revolving around this Mongolian Throatsinging Forum.Go on, take a break, come back in a couple hours or tomorrow. It will be better then.
>>
>>33934228
>Don't like it? Leave.
Maybe you should take your own advice faggot.
>>
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>>33934228
>>faggotry and cuckshit
You actually are retarded. Neither of those show up anywhere to be seen in this entire idea chain so far.
You can't cuck Shining if you ARE shining, and nobody has even mentioned any other males in this scenario.
Bugbutt hasn't entered the picture yet so it's not like you're cucking Princess Peetzer either.
>>
>>33934241
Like I said, I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like Cadance at this point.
>>
>>33934241
Its been in the same prompt shit for the last time this garbage was posted, you acting like Cadance can have two stallion harem bullshit. And now, when that failed again, you faggots are here, again, with TF shit just to replace Shining. You can't cuck the victim of a bodyswap? Bullshit and you know it.
>>33934242
I hate you. Candyass when LaP did it with the multiverse crossover thing was fine. This spamming shit for trash fetish garbage with the two of them as an excuse is the problem.
>>
>33934243
>being the problem
>calling everyone else the problem
>>
>33934249
>Being the problem
>Calling people mad about the problem the problem
>>
>>33934243
>Cadance shouldn't have two stallions
>"Okay, here's a prompt where Cadance only has one stallion."
>I don't like that either, just stop all-together
>>
>33934252
>using the royal we because you're the only one mad about the problem but needing to imply a group consensus to try and get your way because nobody else cares about the thing that triggers you
>>
>>
>33934253
>33934259
>Implying group think when samefagging a reply
>Implying changing the way you shitpost the prompt to just replace the main character is better
>>
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>>33934221
For what it's worth i'm usually the guy that spergs about no-hooves, but i generally only do that now if i havent slept much or i'm drunk posting.
>>
>>33934270
>changing from "transformation" to "the odious sin of body swapping" to work a new angle and pretending that's what you were mad about all along
>>
>>33934283
>Implies taking the form of an established character and replacing their personality with your own isn't bad if its Anon "reborn"
>Implying it isn't TF shit when taking the place of the target by being reborn
That is what you are trying to argue isn't happening.
>>
>33934306
What the fuck are you even talking about? Literally none of this is happening except in your paranoid delusional fantasy that you can't stop vomiting into this thread.
>>
>>33934315
The exact prompt in question, do you have the memory of a goldfish.
>>
>33934319
>The exact prompt in question, do you have the memory of a goldfish.
I might, but I'm not the one who forgot to provide a link, or any kind of supporting evidence.
>>
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>33934324
>I am pretending to be retarded for (you)s
>>
>33934333
ok, my dude.
>>
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>>33933134
>Her face
>>
>>33934395
>heart eyes
I guess I'm married now.
>>
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>>33934404
>>33934395
>The after-prom afterparty at her place.
>>
>>33934413
>Teenmare Octavia
I didn't know I needed this till now. MOAR!
>>
>>33934422
>>33934413
>Anon in a herd with Teen Octavia and Teen Vinyl
>>
>>33934422
>>33934424
A green of these three starting off in high school sounds like fun.
>>
>>33934435
>>33934424
>Teen Vinyl is actually a pretty nervous nerd as a teen
>Octavia was going through her insecure goth phase
>And one teen Anon out of middle school rounds their weird group of freshman out
>>
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>>33934413
>That light, cream-colored underbelly and tuft
>It goes all the way up under her tail.
And suddenly Octavia goes from a 6/10 to a 10/10
>>
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>>33934237
>Prince Crescendo was killed by bandits
>You have to fuck his wife Gleaming Shield
and here we are again
>>
>Celestia has a bearsona
>On her days off, she goes into the woods and transforms into her bearsona and pretends she's a real beat
>She carries a backpack for Philomina to ride in as they go on bear adventures
>This post is rgre
>>
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>>33934769
>Yogi Bear in RGRE
>>
>Anon transforms into a dragon to live in Equestria
>Living in the wild like an animal is terrible, so he goes to Ponyland to get a job
>Nopony would hire a dragon except Princess Twilight
>He's hired as a second assistant and is supposed to help Spike with paperwork and cleaning
>It's terrible too
>There are giant stacks of papers to fill out every day and aren't allowed breaks until it is done
>Afterwards, he has to kill the castle head to toe every day as well, even if it isn't dirty
>Work starts as soon as the sun rises and doesn't end until well into the night
>He doesn't even get paid for his work and has no time for a life outside of it
>He calls out Twilight on her terrible working conditions and starts a strike
>Spike is torn between agreeing with Anon and his loyalty to Twilight
>Twilight doesn't even help even though her magic could make it easy
>>
>>33934802
>>Afterwards, he has to kill the castle head to toe every day as well, even if it isn't dirty
>The castle is an eldritch abomination that comes to life every day and has to be constantly killed
>>
>Anon enters a portal to Equestria
>However, Equestria's hamony magic is peculiar
>It can only accept beings that it considers to belong to their universe
>EQGs is okay since they share magical signitures similar to it's residents
>Anon, however, does not
>However, the magic can't forcibly eject him out either
>So, to compensate, the magic transforms him to fill an otherwise empty hole
>Anon transforms into Sunset Shimmer
>>
>>33934413
>>33934659
Slightly different colored chests and underbellies make my penis the big penis
>>
Wow, what a bunch of faggots.
Almost as bad as /hmofa/
>>
>>33934809
Wew lad, you really didn't need to go there.
>>
>>33934413
>>33934659
>>33934831
>Octavia is pregnant and sheepishly smiling in her senior photo
>>
>>33934847
You mean the guys posting tf shit? They are faggots, as this guy proves>>33934809
But I fail to see how that is relevant to human males on female anthros.
>>
>>33934659
>Ponies dont have perfectly uniform coats. The color can vary in different places or they might have a smattering of white speckles or patterns.
>This is how changelings get picked out, as they have trouble mimicing fur patterns correctly.
>Octavia's uniform cream underbelly is crazy rare and makes her incredibly desirable.
>>
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>>33934928
>>
>Be Sunset
>As one of the new "protectors" of this world, you had taken it upon yourself to find any of the baddies that had been stranded over here
>To your surprise, ponies had been banishing creatures to this plain far before Starswirl had gotten the idea
>Most, no longer able to access the magic that gave them their destructive, world-ending powers, had settled down
>Even without their magicks, they were still immortal beings though, dealing with the populace in various ways
>Most had jobs
>All of them knew each other in some capacity
>A few even had a bowling team that met twice a month
>None of them were happy when you introduced yourself
>Some tried to get violent when they found out you were originally a unicorn
>Magic or not, some of them were still horrifically strong, able to lift cars like they were pillows
>Thankfully, your magic more than evened the playing field, and after one or two "epic" fights they had mostly settled down
>Some even tolerated your presence
>One such person was named Anon
>Apparently he wasn't from this plain or Equestria, though he refused to go into any detail
>He was a prince though
>A powerful one
>Also, once upon a time, a very, very long time ago, he had been a great necromancer
>He no longer raised the dead--thank Celestia
>Over the centuries, he had managed to amass a great fortune
>He mostly stayed in an estate he had built for himself nowadays
>From what you gathered, he spent most of his time trying to relive his "glory days"
>Reliving glory days mostly consisted of carving and painting these... models
>Most of them were skeletal in nature--because of course they were
>Others were... odder
>Living statues, he had said, refusing to clarify what he had meant
>His collection was massive
>You could tell he had spend years, decades even building it up
>Each little model was different
>Individually carved and painted and given some sort of weapon
>Anon also had names for most of them
>>
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>>33934769
But is she gonna be in smash
>>
>>33934237
>Rumble was already good with his tight little boy pussy.
>Tumble with an actual pussy is perfect.
>And Tender Taps had the firmest little rump from all his dancing, so you can just imagine Tender Tapping's flanks with those foal-bearing earth pony hips.
>Anon never considered himself into kids, but these little minxes are giving him second thoughts.
>>
>>33934769
I’m glad he’s in too, anon
>>
>>33934986
So wait LaP, is Anon an apprentice to old Tomb King necromancers, or Kemmler? That's metal as fuck, also likely responsible for several thousand dead bodies, but metal as fuck. And having him make armies of miniatures in his spare time is impressive.
>>
>>33934847
>Almost as bad as /HMOFA/
Nah, we're much better
https://derpibooru.org/1449496?q=human+on+anthro+action%2Crarity&sf=score
>>
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>>33934986
>It was so much junk that you could have spent all day staring at the stuff
>Honestly, you thought it was kinda dumb yourself, but you guessed the colt needed a hobby
>Better this than him trying to take over the world
>Or, Celestia forbid, trying to get into politics
"So, Anon, what's this right here?" you asked, pointing out a model
>It was a four-legged think; one of his "living statues"
>Four smaller skeletons rode on it's back, each carrying spears
>Anon stopped whatever he was doing, his green eyes settling on the piece of wood
>"That is Ruin," he said. "My mount. I rode him into war."
>You couldn't help but frown
>As a gentlemare, you didn't care for having stallions in violent situations
>And Anon loved to tell you situations he was in that were violent
>He was in a lot of them
>Like a whole bunch
>Still, you had initiated conversation...
>May as well see it through...
"Really? That must have been tough for you," you said
>Anon said nothing for a good minute
>His eyes went hazy, and his expression turned wistful
>"No... no it was not," he said, slowly shaking his head. "I was a god of war. Where my blade fell my enemies died. My kingdom was beyond size, and my riches beyond measure."
>He walked over, picking up the model and examining it
>He puzzled over it for a few moments before setting it down
>His hands went behind his back in a regal pose
>"I would burn this world to ash, butcher fathers and drown mothers as they clenched their babies for those times to return."
>He nodded, making his way toward the door
>You watched him go, still trying to process all of the horrible shit he had said
>"Perhaps someday," you heard him murmur
>...Alright
>Maybe you needed to have one of those villain rehabilitation things like Twilight did...
>Fucking crazy stallions...
>>
>>33935032
What the fuck is with all that piss and shit the artist makes? Why is he not banned?
>>
>>33935044
>It was a four-legged think;
thing* and ,*
>Rehabilitate
Sunset, sweetie, there is a time and place for that, the necromancer king turned shut it isn't one of those times. Get a .45 and double tap.
>>
>>33935045
>Piss and shit
I honestly don't know, I have all that stuff heavily filtered and I just thought this image in particular looked hot
>>
>>33935068
His art style is hot, and the pic you linked is great, but all that trash fetish in his backlog is horrendous. That is an example of people that shouldn't be able to make nice things.
>>
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>>33935083
>His art style is hot, and the pic you linked is great
Anon, you seriously need to re-examine your standards if you find that 2010-tier garbage "great" or "hot"
Otherwise, I'm afraid this case of shit taste might just be terminal
>>
>>33934928
reminder that freckled Luna is best Luna
>>
>>33935095
Better than the cal-arts shit from tumblr. Not by much mind you, but it is a step up.
>>
>>33935083
https://derpibooru.org/1950498?q=human+on+anthro+action
https://derpibooru.org/1950374?q=human+on+anthro+action
It's so difficult to find quality anthro artwork that isn't fetishy garbage or 3D SFM shit. Not that there's anything WRONG with SFN, per say, but I feel like it's over represented in the community, if that makes any sense/
>>
>>33935111
I am more pissed the anthro shit that's 3d is futa garbage, that's just disappointing.
>>
>>33935111
I just don't like that they almost always have humans have smaller dicks.
>>
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>>33935044
>Necromancer Anon
>>
>>33935111
I like this guy's stuff
https://derpibooru.org/tags/artist-colon-stellarator
>>
>>33934395
>When she's trying to be broody but you subtly hook a finger under her dock and rub it.
>>
>>33926564
>Flutters, Luna, Rara, and Twiggles aren't in the top 3
The judges must have been Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, and Helen Keller.
>>
>>33934847
They launched into the toilet way before they had lift off
>>
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Post more waifus in erotic clothing
>>
>>33934188
Problem is that trying to come up with orignal ideas on the fly is rather hard to do. Not to mention that when you're trying some form of popcorn story telling it just devolves into memes about Shrek or something else because too many authors for the story.

I'd love to workshop ideas about stories here, but most the time people just like to go too farwith a prompt or ruin the fun of the prompt by going too dumb or edgy with it.

Here I'll throw something out there...
>You're Pearl Shine heiress to the Shine fortune in the Crystal Empire!
>You've been stuck in this really dumb boarding school for weeks ever since your parents had decided you spent far too much time reading old legends and not enough time socializing with your peers.
>It is most definitly healthy to read for fourteen hours Mother, by the Heart they drive you up the wall.
>Not to mention that horrible filly in your class, Shadowgem and her two awful bookends; Moss Agate and Malachite.
>They are the absolute worst, always picking on you and playing pranks all the time!
>Not that you take it standing done, oh no, you are Pearl Shine of the Shine house!

There just random blurb of a situation, but the investment behind it is bland because OC.
>>
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>Come home from work
>90 new replies
>ohshitnigger.png
>Writefag dumped green
>It's actually just fucking Frank Burns getting angry that he's seeing things he doesn't like and complaining about things that aren't actually even being posted
>Again
You got me all excited for nothin', thread.
>>
Who would be Equestria's famous Heroes, Megan Williams or Epona? Afterall, there's always a legend about at least a hero in every universe.
>>
>>33935266
>Spend 8 hours at work
>Thinks that there'll only be 90 new replies if a writefag dropped green
Anon are you stupid?
>>
>>33934785
Last known sighting of Yogi the Bear circa 1009 AN, colorless.

Pinkie giggles as she cleans her shovel off with a hose.
"Oh silly Anons, did you think I'd whack a bear? I just did some gardening!"
"Silly old bear didn't want to stay because I kept giving him the picnic baskets, he said it just wasn't the same."
>>
>>33935273
>>Spend 8 hours at work
5 hours. It was slow and they sent me home early.
>>
>>33935279
Still, I can go to sleep at night and wake up to 200 new posts, 90 posts in 5 hours is slow.
>>
>>33935282
I woke up this morning and there were only 19 new posts. I was snoozing for maybe 9 hours.
>>
>>33935286
Like I said, slow. One time I just didn't bother keeping up with the thread for a whole day, and then suddenly there are two new threads for me to go through the next day.
>>
>>33934928
>>33934831
>>33934659
>>33934449
>Octavia went through a goth phase and was insecure about her lightly coloured belly.
>Wore bulky coats all the time and shied away from others.
>Thought she found a kindred spirit in you when you turned up to school in a full uniform.
>Turned into fascination over the exotic when you explained that clothes werent just a fashion choice.
>Swiftly became an impromptu friendship as her more 'down to earth' personality was a soothing balm compared to the hyperactive chipmunks every other pony was.
>One summers day you're both trying to relax in the sun and notice how hot she must be under her bulky jacket.
>She nervously takes it off after you suggest it, along with a sincere promise that you 'wont laugh'
>As soon as you get a clear look 'laughing' is perhaps the furthest thing from your mind.
>It's lightly matted with sweat due to her clothing, but the fluff of her chest practically begs for you to rest your head nonetheless.
>Trailing your eyes downward, you notice that the slightly different colour traces all the way down her underbelly as far as you can see.
>Mouth suddenly dry, you snap your eyes back to hers to see her looking away from you with eyes screwed shut, a light blush on her cheeks that you're not sure is completely because of the heat.
>Reaching out with a hand to cup her face and gently turn her towards you, she slowly opens her eyes with a worried expression.
>With a soft smile, you slowly reach forward with your other hand and gently lay your palm in her fluff.
>She gasps and jerks slightly, but doesnt shy away from either of your hands, simply staring into your eyes in confusion.
>Wordlessly, you start a gentle scritching motion with your hand causing her eyes to flutter and her forehooves to tremble, small noises of contentment occasionally escaping her throat.
>>
>>33935295
>Enjoying the sight of her complete relaxation but finding the position a little awkward after a few minutes, you slowly guide her downwards until she's lying down on the grass.
>Shifting behind in a loose spooning position allows your hands much greater range of movement, something which she enjoys greatly if the way she bonelessly tries to mould herself to your body is any indication.
>Her tail absently wags back and forth through the grass before getting tangled around your leg.
>The feeling isnt all one-sided either.
>You've petted ponies before, especially this pony in particular afer a gruelling day of school, but whether it's some unique quirk of the qt in your arms or just ponies in general, the feel of your hands gliding through her fur simply takes your breath away.
>Nothing you know of can compare to this softness, not even those clouds your pegasi classmates brought down for you that one time.
>And even then, no cloud you know of could possibly match the feel of her slowly writhing in bliss over your ministrations.
>You dont know when exactly you fall asleep, but the both of you jerk awake to the sound of a camera flash and a softly giggling familar voice.
>Looking up you see your mutual friend Vinyl brandishing a swiftly developed photograph of your hand very close to a...ahem, compromising, location.
>Face aflame Octavia angrily demands she hoof the photo over, who cheekily replies it wouldn't be good blackmail material if she did that,
>With a yell of anger in an odd tone of voice you've never heard from the normally quiet mare before, she tears after an openly laughing vinyl across the field.
>Shaking your head with a quiet laugh, you pick up your friends jacket and slowly start after them.
>Tucking it under your arm, you absentmindedly hope Octavia doesnt remember she's 'naked' any time soon, she's much cuter without this bulky thing.
>>
>>33935262
>>
>>33935262
>>
>>33935270
Megan Williams fucked Tirek's shit up, so I bet she's at least a minor hero. Her actual appearance and the specific details of her actions are probably muddled through time and the telephone game, but the heart of what she did remains true.
>>
>>33935276
I bet Pinkie calls her pussy "my picnic basket". Complete with Yogi the Bear "Pic-a-nic" pronunciation. I bet she's down with all sorts of innuendos about Anon going down to get a snack that she can say out loud in public without making it obvious to anypony (except for Anon, of course) that she's talking about sex.
>>
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>>33935262
Kay
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>>33935262
>>
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>>33935338
>>
>>33935359
I like the idea of Rainbow Dash being a closeted softy. She's the equivalent of a big tough jock being addicted to soap operas and crying at weddings.
>>
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>>33935366
My nigga
>>
>>33935262
>>
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>>33935381
Fellow worshiper of the sun
>>
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>>33935380
Make for the loving foursome
>>
>>33935380
fuckin wew lad
>>
>>33935386
What size are her panties?
>>
>>33929375
It was fagthro though, not superior feral goodness like this is.
>>
>>33935391
The Titanic Principles have something to say.
>>33935407
The fuck are you talking about? Did you read the post I was talking about?
>>
>Pony evolution
>>
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>>33935380
>Blacklight Sparkle
>>
>>33935420
The middle ground for pony evolution is G1 ponies
>>
>>33935427
I want to piledrive Niglight's pussy as her mother licks my balls.
>>
>>33935295
>>33935299
I love it. I'd like more please.

>>33935338
very nice.
>>
>>33935420
>>33935433
>>
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>>33935399
Ultra Thicc
>>
>>33935295
>>33935299
cute and wholesome
please continue
>>
>>33935044
>>"I would burn this world to ash, butcher fathers and drown mothers as they clenched their babies for those times to return."
>>He nodded, making his way toward the door
>>You watched him go, still trying to process all of the horrible shit he had said
>>"Perhaps someday," you heard him murmur
kek
>>
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>>33935372

>"Happy birthday Anon!"
>Dash hoofs you a little cyan colored rectangular box ornamented with a rainbow bow
"Oh wow Dash thanks! You really didnt have to!"
>"Oh please Anon! I wouldnt be your number one sister from another mister if I didnt get you something for your birthday!" Dash proclaims proudly
"Please Dash, you will always be my number one FRIEND."
>Rainbow winces a little as you mention the word "friend"
>"Haha....yeah, glad to hear it Anon haha. Well anyways are you gonna open it or what Anon!?"
"Oh right!"
>Carefully undoing the rainbow fabric clamping the lid of the box to the base, you lift the lid to inspect the contents of your gift
>You fish out two pieces of paper that read "Ponyville Spa Five Star Premium Day Pass"
>"I know how you colts loved to be pampered, so I figured I would get you one of those premium passes to the Ponyville spa! The treatment you can get with these bad fillys is AMAZING.......or so I hear...."
>Though you never really were one for having your body felt up by strangers you still appreciate the thought behind Rainbow's gift, and you figure trying something new for once couldn't hurt much
"Wow Dash I dont know what to say! This is an amazing gift!"
>You open your arms wide and go in for the hug. She eagerly accepts and stands on her hind hoofs to more comfortably meet your embrace. After a few moment pass you break the hug much to Dash's dismay.
"However I think you might have made a mistake, you bought me two for the same day instead of just one." You raise up the two vouchers so she could see what you meant
>Dash's cheeks suddenly become a shade darker and she rubs the elbow of her right forehoof "Well...uh...thats so you can take somepony with you when you go...."
"Oh I see, cool."
>You bring your hand to your chin and begin to contemplate. Do you even know anypony that would want to go to the spa with you?
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
>>
>>33935536
>even after months of interacting with anon she has difficulties telling when he's being dense and when he's fucking with her
>>
How happy do you think your waifu would be if you told her you were a virgin before making love for the first time?
I bet Celestia would be more than happy to walk you through the steps.
>>
>>33935295
>>33935299
Keep going, that's the start of something good and cute there.
>>
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>>33935564
I’d like to think that, considering the fact that she might be a giant slut given the amount of years she’s been living
>>
>>33935299
top cute
>>
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>>33935576
oh that's always fun to bring up in /sun/
>>
>>33935576
>>33935597
This is the problem with immortals. Given enough time they'd always become massive degenerates.
>>
>>33935602
Hopefully towards the end she would have tapered down, eventually looking to settle. Being the perfect erotic housewife.
>>33935597
/sun/ is dead
>>
>>33935608
haha yeah we are
>>
>>33935608
So their undead, the thread then?
>>
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>>33935620
Some would say they're sundead.
>>
>>33935602
You do realize that by admitting that immortals will all inevitably become "degenerate," you're saying that you would become "degenerate" if given enough time? If you think that's the end conclusion, then really the only reason you aren't there yet is that your emotions are getting in the way of your logic?
Unless, of course, it isn't really the conclusion everyone will reach given time.
>>
>>33935648
Shut up Luna, stop pulling Carlos memes from the human internet.
>>
>>33935536
Aww, don't disappoint the Dash Anon. Take her with you. Good stuff. Is it a prompt or do you have more?
>>
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>>33935661
Im writing a little bit more, figured i would post on the new thread
>>
>>33935648
One of these days, Luna, *BANG* *ZOOM* STRAIGHT TO THE MOON.
>>
>>33935650
Literally reason #1000 of why mortals turning immortal is a fucking terrible idea.
>>
>>33935666
HAIL SATAN, PROTECTOR OF CUTE BIRD PONE!
>>
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>>33935650
I'm of the opinion that immortals become more wholesome the more time goes on. They've seen just about every thing there is to see and just want to relax for a while and start a family.
>>
>>33935675
so just like the cock carousal riders who want a nice doormat to buy them a house
>>
Weird, wheres the faggot that always makes the thread too early? Anyone going to make the next thread?
>>
Here, quick and dirty thread

>>33935711
>>33935711
>>33935711
>>
>>33935666
Awesome. I look forward to it then.
>>
>>33935675
>pic
I'm a fan of the idea of being in a world of EqG where I am at tit-height with women. Especially because in RGREqG, they probably generally don't wear bras.
>>
>>33935372
>"You had your chance at the cotillion you!"



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