GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYsOld CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:https://pastebin.com/z3CWqhnGPrompt Archives:https://pastebin.com/GAa4Wunt>>33846052 previous threadWiP Story Archives:https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/edit?usp=sharing
Did you purpose fuck the subject up so that it'd slip past our filters?
First for best princess/pony.
Alright new thread! Now we can leave all those pesky arguments behind in the old one and get into some real RGRE shenanigans!
>>33851052>RoldesFuck it, close enough. Y'all get the gist of it.Okay boys and girls, new discussion.Men (and stallions) have testicle bras - those exist. Socks are also for sexual, and I'm not 100% sure if it's gender specific. What other things could Anon wear that would be misconstrued for sexual clothing?
>>33851064Yes, devious isn't it?
>>33851064Anyone gonna make a proper thread then?
>>33851068Standard rules: what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Now we get to talk about sexist horses catcalling Anon.
>Teen Mom Twilight accidentally forgets to mention her husband and daughter to her friends
Reminder that for all her bravado, Rainbow is steadfastly saving herself for marriage and hopes her husbando is pure like herself.
>>33851065Here, you posted the wrong princess.
>>33851069Butler outfit?>>33851078.....does having lewd clothes count against husbando status?
> Rainbow Dash crosses her hind legs in a futile attempt to hide her milk bags> "Jeez, Anon, could you stop staring at my MASSIVE teats? I know they're weird, no need to rub it in."> Pinkie Pie shifts uncomfortably, her rump gently jiggling> "Nonny, is there something on my MASSIVE hips? You got a hungry look in your peepers."> Twilight carefully turns her head away> "Careful, Anon. I almost poked you with my MASSIVE horn that intimidates other mares when I use magic."> Fluttershy squeaks as you rest your face against her chest> "Oh! I know my tuft is MASSIVE and soft, but I think a pillow would be more comfortable. Um, but you don't have to use a pillow if you really like my MASSIVE tuft so much."> Rarity raises an eyebrow> "No, I don't have anything particularly MASSIVE. Unless you count my FABULOUS collection of sexy stallion lingerie. Mmm, let's get those MASSIVE balls of yours into a cute bra that I just know you'll love."
>>33851069It's spelled Roldes because that's where I put my d
>>33851068Is Anon shirtless? Did Caramel actually manage to convince him that wearing clothes would get him jumped by horny mares?
>>33851094I google searched Roldes, and all I got was some place in Portugal. You would stick your dick into the country of Portugal? You slut, I bet you'd fuck all sorts of landmasses and countries. Your city-waifu will never marry you if you can't even stay pure for her.
>>33851065I want to stargaze her hair.
>>33851102Any Anon worth his salt goes around nude at all times. Ponies don't wear clothes and Anon will be damned if he doesn't let all the ponies know he makes cultural adjustment his bitch. Also, no straight mare is complaining that Anon's nude, not when they all come up to crotch height.Any filly who complains that Anon just flops his dick and balls around is a closet lesbian who doesn't like the idea of """""accidentally""""" mashing her face into Anon's groin when she happens upon him.
>>33851103>city-waifuIs that a really big wAIfu? Or more akin to the Superintendent in ODST?
>>33851109>mashingNot gonna lie, sounds painful as heck if that were the case not to mention some of those unicorns look like they be sharp.
>>33851076>Teen mom TwilightWell she's got the hips for it at least. How does a horseperson society react to a teenage girl getting knocked up anyhow?
>>33851109Winter sounds fun.
>>33851116Not gonna lie, Anon. I have no idea where I was going with this. I'm getting drunk pretty quickly her.e
>>33851119Eh, it's just not the same with human Twilight. It's gotta be pone Twilight or bust.
>>33851118Gently mashing. It's a stand-in for slowly pushing her face against your cock and balls, letting your dick flop along the length of her muzzle, where it comes to rest between her eyes. I say "mashing", but what I really mean is planting her nose right where your cock and balls meet and inhaling deeply. Mashing is a figure of speech.
>>33851119Damn girl, here's a cider.
>>33851076>Teen Mom Twilight giving foalcare advice to the Cakes
>>33851129That's a respectable opinion and even though I don't agree I'm not going to argue with you.
>>33851141I wonder if Twi's parents hate or love Anon. Night Light might see Anon as someone who trapped Twilight with parenthood, but Velvet might just be satisfied that her daughter isn't a dyke.
Who's this slut, and why is he going to this convention if he isn't even interested in the fandom? Fucking fake nerd sluts.
>>33851166Alternate picture by some amazing Anon>ywn garner undue attention because you're a human and this world just happens to have a "My Little Human" cartoon that grown-ass mares happen to be interested in
>>33851163I don't see why neither of them wouldn't be ecstatic about it. They get grandchildren and Twilight still goes about her studies and duties to the princess.
>>33851163Nah, women are the ones that usually want it. If anything, they'll probably be upset that she convinced him not to use protection or something.
>>33851176Well, Night Light is always on the lookout for gold-diggers. Twilight is Celestia's personal student, she's a bearer of Harmony, and she (depending on when on the timeline this takes place) she's a princess in her own right. Colts be lining up to lick her clit in exchange for unlimited shopping trips.
>>33851163Even if Night Light resents Anon a bit, I'm sure he'd change his tune if (when) Twilight rolls a colt.
>>33851173I cant believe you saved my remake, I did that like a month and a half ago when I started practicing art again and now that I see it again, It looks so shitty. Maybe I should remake the remake.
>>33851180>"I didn't realize my daughter was gay.""Misses Sparkle, she-">"Call me 'Velvet', honey.""R-Right. Velvet, Twilight and I aren't ready to be parents yet. We-">"When I was your age, I was already carrying Twilight on top of having already birthed Shining.""I know that. But Twily isn't you, and we're seriously not read-">"Did you just call her 'Twily'?""...yes?">"That's hilarious. Does she call you her 'BHBFF'?">..."Her.... her what?">" Big Husband, Best Fucker Forever.">Night Light face-hoofs.>>"Oh my goodness. Anon, I am SO sorry for my wife's behaviour."
>>33851192Friendo, I save almost every even moderately RGRE piece of art I find in this thread and stick it in a folder named (drum roll please) "RGRE".I even have this old thing, which I named redundantly because I want to find it in a search. God, I remember when some blessed soul(s) made a bunch of writefag pony-sona art. Pluggo a cute.
>>33851140"Now for approximately the first year Pumpkin Cake is going to have magic bursts until she begins to learn how to control her latent magic.">"Is there anything I can do about that?""Well for unicorns it's easy to interfere with a foal's unrefined magic, but for a pegasus or an earth pony the best course of action would just be to keep an eye out on them.">"What should I look out for?""While it varies, a majority of it will be some form of telekinesis since it's less a spell and more just instinctively interacting with the world with your magic.">"So I need to look out for floating objects?""You would think that, but telekinesis actually has more uses than that. Such as levitating one's self. In fact you wouldn't believe how many times I had to pry Dawn off the ceiling. Anon was so worried about her. He keeps trying to pretend that he's different from the other colts, but when something like this comes along his true nature can't help but pop out.">"Oh I know what that's like. Poor Carrot keeps trying to bite off more than he can chew to 'prove' himself even though he knows I love him just the way he is.""Stallions am I right?">"I'm so glad I finally have a friend I can talk to about this kind of stuff.""Same. I love my friends, but they don't have the slightest clue as to what goes into foal rearing. Except for maybe Applejack.">"Ah, yes, it's such a tragedy what happened to Pear and Mac. They used to be good friends of mine you know? When they passed away I often went over to help them with Apple Bloom and volunteered whenever they needed a foal sitter.""Well while I'd love to stick around and trade stories I really must be going. But We should definitely do this again.">"Oh absolutely. Same time next week?""Same time next week."
>>33851193That's a pretty good mom joke
>>33851064>FilteringGet dabbed on, redditor
>>33851230haaaa, nostalgia, sucks Frosty pulled another Frosty, but that is to be expected whenever he shows up to write somewhere. So many unfinished greens.
>>33851201You don't happen to have a way to share that folder, do you? I'm a dumbass and forgot to transfer my RGRE folder before degaussing my old drive.
>>33851258LaP is lurking though, everyone fucked off to the propeller when the Discord was pushed in, admittedly, not much of problem when it comes to Frosty. But everything else went to shit leaving regular thread goers to do everything themselves, until they become writefags invited to it, and then die again.
>>33851244Man, I wish I knew. I've been drinking a bit and even if I knew that such a service existed, I don't think I'm in a position to A) use it without fucking up, and B) filter the decidedly non-RGRE stuff I had saved there by accident.Remind me tomorrow and we'll talk turkey.
>>33851182In this scenario, they got together before NMM came back, so before she became an Element Bearer, and long before Twi got wings.
>>33851173That is much, much better that the fugly faced original. Those faces are creepy.>>33851192That's way better that what I can do. Thanks for contributing.>>33851204I like it.
>>33851271Will do. And I can filter out the other stuff myself if you don't want to go through the trouble.
Can you resist?
>>33851344I like the rough draft more.
>>33851109He just needs some kind of artificial sheath, to protect his precious genitals. A codpiece, perhaps?
>>33851348>>33851344Why would I want to resist the only good part of that movie?
>>33851039>It was tough getting your herd to not murder each other>You look back to the good old days when your herd got along>Those good old days being only 30 mins after your herd had officially became a thing>As soon as your herd had reached 31 minutes of age however, some pony had the bright idea to ask who was gonna be the alpha mare>Then all hell broke loose>You now shudder remembering those good old days>The things I do for love.>Anyways....>Now you and your herd mate Indigo Zap are watching your other two herd mates performing at a wonder bolts show in Ponyville>You loved watching those two fly>Despite their bitter rivalry, they performed really well together>If only you could get those two to get along on ground as well as they do in air>One day.....one day....>While contemplating your herd you feel a hoof slowly slither its way onto your lap>Its steadily making way to the snake that you hide inside your pants>just as the tip of the hoof reaches your zipper you place your hand on it stopping any further progress towards freeing the beast within"Not here Indigo, to many ponys around.">"Come on Anon! I promise it wont take long, I just want to touch it a little!">Of all your three herd mates, no pony enjoyed getting to second base more than IndigoYou sigh, "No Indigo, someone might see us, just sit back and watch the show.">"Oh come on Anon! They are all to busy watching the show to notice! I promise my hoof will be in and out!" Indigo now looking more determined>You give her a stern look to show her that your serious and quickly the determination is switched with annoyancePutting on a reassuring smile you speak out to her "I promise Indigo, when we get back to the house we will have some fun, just try to hold out till then, Ok?"
>Anon loved his anti-magic nature.>When That old geezer Tirek tried to drain his waifu, all Anon had to do is walk up and punch him.>They literally held a parade in his honor.>The princesses rewarded him and his mare with everything they would need to kickstart a life together.>A nice house and a monthly check in the mail that they could live off of.>And Anon intended to make the most out of the boon, and start a family.>A prospect his wife was very eager of, if her declaration of giving Anon a dozen foals was any indication.>Anon agreed, that'd be a decent start of their two dozen children.>The first, however, was proving difficult.>So much so, that they eventually had to seek a professional opinion.>Now, normally, a pony's innate magic, ampped up by true love, would make any genetic material from any lover compatible with their own.>Anon's anti-magic nature threw a wrench into the equation, though.>Fertility potions, magic spells, even a blessing from the alicorn sisters themselves.>Nothing could make Anon's seed stick, and both were devastated.>Doctors suggested a sperm donor, but the idea made the man only marginally less sick than the suggestions of adoption.>Either way he'd be raising a child not of his blood.>Either way, he'd be a cuck.>Anon hated his anti-magic nature.Any other good tragedy plots you can think of?There's always the classic of Anon being outlived by his alicorn lover.Or the old UglyAnon prompts that were actually pretty fun.Maybe make the "marshmallow ponies" thing more than a meme, and ponies are in fact very soft and frail compared to Anon, like their world is simply less dense all around, so Anon can barely squeeze them without hurting them.
>>33851377>Indigo lets out a sigh and rests her head on your lap still looking annoyed "Ugh, fine! I dont care anymore. You dont have to promise anything Anon, im sure your just gonna be busy paying attention to Rainbow and Lightning like you always do.">That one remark had really hit hard>She was right and you knew it>You did pay more attention to Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust>Not because you choose favorites or anything, you love all your herd mares and would never choose one over the other>You gave more attention to them because they were always at each others throats>Almost everyday they would argue or compete about something or another>And It would always get out of hand if you didnt supervise or mediate whatever dispute they were currently having>You wanted to lay down the law badly, you wanted to set rules, you really just wanted everyone to get along, but you were just to much of a fucking pussy to intervene in such a way>You were terrified, terrified that if you had said the wrong thing or made it seem like you were picking a side it would result in the herd breaking up>Because of your inability to manage your herd Indigo was suffering>Hell, they were all probably suffering because of you>Most of Dash's and Lightning Dust's disputes stemmed from them trying to prove who was more worthy to be the alpha mare and who was a better fit for you>Despite your constant reassuring that they were both perfect in your eyes they both still insisted on being more perfect than the other>God were you pathetic>A rigorous grinding on your crotch had quickly pulled you out of your self pity party>Indigo was digging as far into your crotch with her face as much as your pants would allow her to>This fucking pony>The occasional audible inhale accompanied her rigorous rubbing>You look to the crowd sitting around you, thankfully they all had their eyes to the sky watching the show in wonderment>Ok Indigo, Ill let you have this one
>>33851382Its criminal how very little pony Indigo Zap pics there are
>>33851344Yes.Gloriosa has never appealed to me.
>>33851382>2 headstrong, stubborn mares going at it without regard to the rest of the herd>1 emotionally manipulative mare who guilt trips Anon into letting her molest himNigga, I can see an abusive and toxic herd relationship there. Anon's friends will have him applying to the battered stallion's centers ASAP.
>>33851381Marshmallow pones should be 'weak' but not so easily injured.It's like punching Spongebob, it doesn't actually accomplish much, you've gotta get more creative if you wanted to actually hurt them.
>>33851052Humans are like onions, not parfaits.LAYERS!
>>33851367>Those frecklesI would nut on her face.
>>33851381>The "marshmallow ponies" thing is more than a meme, and ponies are in fact very soft and frail compared to Anon and he can barely squeeze them without hurting them.>The universe Anon finds himself in is less dense than his own.>That's the best way to describe it.>In Equestria, the ground feels like spongecake beneath his feat.>The strongest of trees feel like they've been hollowed out by termites with how easily he can crush bark and wood between his fingers.>Steel is aluminum and he has to fight not to pull doors off of their hinges when he's entering a building.>Food feels like air against his tongue, light and barely there, meaning Anon has to eat what, to ponies, seems like an unbelievably large amount of food just to feel full.>Even the atmosphere's thin to Anon's lungs, which created a noticeable breeze with every breath, and it took him months to adapt enough to where he wasn't wheezing for oxygen whenever he moved at more than a brisk walk.>Add the fact that he's also anti-magic by nature, and he was hard pressed to prove to the natives that he wasn't a monster from beyond the veil intent on destroying their world.>If it weren't for him being a male, they might have tried locking him away or casting him into space instead of risking an attack by such a seemingly dangerous creature.>Eventually, Anon was able to gain their trust, though, and became friends with the little ponies.>Then, one day, an ancient evil arose from the earth>A dark beast who sought to raze Equestria to the ground.>The beast swatted aside spells and tore a swath of destruction through the peaceful land, strength unmatched by even the princesses, until it came across a strange creature.>Anon would not let any more of his friends be hurt.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKbBPYvlpUU
>>33851381I think if this were the case, the only other option i would consider would be raising a dragon hatchling with a my pony wife. Cause dragons are cool.
>>33851381>the suggestions of adoption.>>Either way he'd be raising a child not of his blood.>>Either way, he'd be a cuck.Adoption doesn't make you a cuck. An orphan exists because their parents are both dead. You're not doing another man's job for him, you're providing a child (who didn't ask to be born) with a childhood and a parent that they desperately need.
>>33851382I wouldn't be surprised if Anon made Indigo the lead Mare because of how the other two are acting. Good stuff. Looking forward to reading more.>>33851394Can't say I've seen much myself.
>>33851462>>Even the atmosphere's thin to Anon's lungs, which created a noticeable breeze with every breath, and it took him months to adapt enough to where he wasn't wheezing for oxygen whenever he moved at more than a brisk walk."This is bullshit. I hate this. I can't stand how I can't breathe. What do I even eat? I still owe Mayor Mare 2000 bits for that time I broke a door by opening it. This shit's the WORST."
I actually need a source on this. My erection is powerful, but has no direction.
>>33851486The artist signed their name, Turtle Chan, on the left side, if that helps.
>>33851488Oh shit, thanks Anon
>>33851468I was actually thinking that maybe, because dragons are more durable, Anon could end up with Ember.>>33851475I see adoption be called cucking a lot around here, along with dating a single mom.There was even a prompt once where Anon comes to Equestria with a human child from a previous relationship, and the mare (Fluttershy, in this case) is constantly called a cuck behind her back because she's dating used goods and raising another mare's foal.
Anon in RGRE, but he gets constant visits from the local preachers cultists avidly inviting him to their commune and to submit to Celestia's Will as a sinful stallion and be reborn as a pure stallion under the protection and watchful gaze of a mare of the community.
>>33851498Only if it's not buff Anon but fat neckbeard Anon.
>>33851480>>33851496>Anon meets Ember, one of the first natives he can interact with that doesn't feel like a Christmas ornament, and hits it off.>Dragons, because they have a constant fire burning in their chest, actually developed breathing techniques to help feed and stoke that fire, increasing its heat and intensity.>Ember theorizes that these same techniques might help Anon not feel so light headed all the time, which turns out to be true.>As for food, because their bodies burn more calories than other creatures, they can't live off of the usual things like fruits or even meat, and so have to supplement their diets with gems.>She shares with Anon that she believes this to be the reason Spike seems so small- he wasn't fed enough gems growing up and it stnted his growth.>Regardless, she eagerly prompts the human to give a sapphire a try, and Anon decides to humor her.>He's surprised to find them gem to be one of the first things that doesn't disappear instantly on his tongue, nor, much to his shock, not be inedible.>Instead, with a bit of pressure from his teeth, the gem shatters, and his mouth is flooded with a strange, but not unappealing flavor.>It's almost like eating rock candy, and Ember beams as she watches the surprised human swallow before going for a second gem.>From that day forth, Anon's life becomes a little more bearable, and he ends up maintaining a correspondence with his newest friend in the form of weekly letters.>Ember, from the Dragon Lands, frets over her most recent letter.>An invitation to come visit her kingdom.>Something she secretly hopes to become permanent if the human finds it to his liking.
>>33851381If I wanted tragedy I'd go to reality. Don't fuck up my escapism.
>>33851512You fucking know someone out there is gonna off themselves as soon as the show ends
>>33851504Only if it's not just fat neckbeard Anon, but Fat neckbeard "I am Euphoric" Anon destroying ponies and their silly religions with FACTS and LOGIC.
>>33851508I wasn't too impressed with the prompt but this development is interesting.
>>33851524"I have a roast in the oven.">"But Darling you said you loved it when we played dress up for you.""Ordinarily I would, but you're going to only get to eat if I get untied, now untie me horse woman!">"Rarity, don't you think we should, Anon's got that look in his eye..."
>>33851528Kinda looks like Rarity, but that's actually supposed to be Vapor Trail according to tags.
>>33851535They might have forgot her wings in the pic, because I can't spot them.>>33851538AJ is a proper mare and doesn't ogle or outwardly show how attractive she thinks a stallion is.She's been raised well to know that will only make them uncomfortable.... Nothing wrong with furiously clopping in the privacy of her room, after.>"Unnf! Darn sexy Anon! Why he got ta be all shimmerin' like that when he works up a sweat!"
>>33851052>ketchup?>>33851069Saddles are for sexual. Twilight got a bit of a reputation during her first Winter Wrap Up, and its one of the reasons she can't find a stallion.
>>33851508>magic rock candy gemsThis is a great idea
>>33851508>"Hey, Anon, watcha got there?" Rainbow asks as she flutters over the man's head. "A letter?""Dash," Anon says in way of greeting as he walks down the street. "Yeah, it's a letter, and it's from Ember.">Instantly, Dash smirks.>"Yeah? Is it a ~love~ letter?""What? No," Anon responds, looking at the mare like she's crazy. "Ember's just a friend.">"A friend you write to constantly," Dash points out. "And when she was here, you two were, like, always together.""A good friend," Anon corrects with a huff. "What's it matter to you, anyway?">"What? I'm just looking out for you, big guy," she answers. "You might be super strong and stuff, but you're still a colt. I'd hate for some girl to go playing with your feelings.""Ember wouldn't do that.">Dash nods.>"I know, which is why me and the girls are hoping she sweeps you off your hooves! I mean, you two would be great together.""Is that so? And why's that?" Anon asks in a humoring fashion, getting the mare to wave a hoof vaguely in front of her.>"You both walk on two legs.""Wow, we're practically soulmates," he says dryly, though Dash ignores him.>"Plus you just smiled a lot when she was around. Something you don't do lots of since she left.""I smile," he defends.>Dash rolls her eyes.>"Yeah, about as much as Cranky Doodle.""Which is a perfectly normal amount of smiling," Anon affirms.>"Sure, buddy," Dash responds with the same dryness Anon had a moment ago.>Her eyes fall to the letter, and the smirk returns.>"Hey, why don't you let me read that?""No.">"Why not?""It's not addressed to you, is it?">"You're just embarrassed 'cause it has a bunch of sappy stuff, I bet.""It really doesn't.">"Then let me see it.""Hey! Back off!">"Come on, Anon! Just a peek!">The man holds the scroll back from the grabbing hooves, gritting his teeth as he tries to ward the annoying mare off with the other hand without accidentally hurting her.>Seriously, he could break her hollow, bird-like bones with a flick
>>33851163>teenage colt thats all alone in the world>fooled around with their daughter who everypony thought accidentally sterilized herself.>managed to give her foals.They'd probably adopt him if it wouldn't be weird, and they'd definitely help teach them both how to parent.
>>33851591>Dash seems to have forgotten this as she continued to zip around, trying to snag his letter from different angles, and getting too close for comfort on some of her attempts.>Not wanting his letter torn, Anon decides enough is enough, and begins performing the breathing exercises Ember taught him.>He might not be able to belch out a searing flame, but with a deep inhalation, he's able to blow hard enough to catch the pegasus off guard.>"Hey-Wah!" with a scream, Dash's wings catch the brunt of Anon's exhale, and she finds herself tumbling back through the air to crash into a cart full of apples.>"Gosh darn it, Dash! What the hay are you doin'!">"It wasn't my fault-!">"Ah don't want ta hear it! Flyin' around the market like it's one of yer Wonder Bolt stunt shows! What'cha expect was gonna happen?!">"But really-!" >"Shut it! Now yer gonna help me pick up all the apples ya spilled, and you're buyin' every single one with a bruise on it, too!">"What?!">While the two mares bicker, Anon quickly makes his getaway and continues on his path to Twilight's.>He had questions for her regarding Ember's recent letter, and he wanted them answered before he started writing a response.>Making it to the castle in record time, he hopes no one trips in the deeper-than-usual footprints he left behind as he jogged.>He didn't bother knocking, Twilight having repeated to many a townsfolk that the Castle, serving as both a library for the public and a place to seek aid, was a public building, and that only the upper levels were private.>It didn't take long to find Twilight, nose deep in a book, and she looked up to smile brightly at him when he cleared his throat.>"Anon! What are you doing here?""Hey, Twilight, I was actually just here to ask for... well, direction, I guess.">"Really? Where to?""The Dragon Lands," he says. "See, Ember mentioned me visiting in her newest letter, but I was thinking about some stuff we talked about when she was still in Ponyville."
>>33851631In case people are wondering where I'm actually thinking of where current events are supposed to go, (not sure how far I will end up getting) here's a thought I've had recently.This thread is always about mares lusting after Anon, but I kind of like the idea of mares being real sises for each other, and being good wing mares.Basically, the Mane6 aren't trying to snag Anon form themselves, they're trying to set him up with Ember because they think it'd be good for both of them.They're being friends, like if you had a bro who went out of his way to get you laid.
Whoops meant to post this here >>33850134 >>33850191 >>33850221 >Anon is oblivious to the fact that Celestia is trying to keep him out of sight >thinks he was put with all the dumb soldiers so he could whip them into shape>Celestia’s face when the madstallion actually turns them into an effective fighting force the likes of which Equestria hasn’t had in centuries>Celestia’s face when they’re the ones save the day from Chrysalis, Grogar, Tirek, Sombra and Cozy Glow’s Evil Alliance
>>33851515We can only hope its the summer kids that croak out first.
>>33851508Actually sounds very tasty.
>>33851090>Applejack walks in and takes the door frame out with her ass.
Ok. But what about teen mom Sci-Twi?
>>33851868The safety of the human race demands she be kept knocked up or this happens.
>be anon>work at the local dmv>magical bullshit keeps fucking up the highschool>you dont have time for that shit>the doors blow open revealing a magically crazed teen>"ALL WILL BOW BEFORE ME!""Do you have the forms for that?">"I- eh what?""You need to fill out a D167 form, wait three weeks for it to get processed and then fill out a D168 form and then the town needs to vote if you want to take over the town.">"Could...could I skip that?""Sure, if you weren't a minute late.">"Oh come on! You can't be serious!""I am. If you don't have the proper paperwork then get out."And that's how Anon stopped the villain with bureaucracy
>>33851868We could always go back to school shooter prompts where Anon knocks her and/or Wallflower up to prevent pic related
>>33851692>SFC Amarezon Anon>The massive, unstoppable human stallion who refuses to fight with anything but his bare hands>The Sergeant and commanding officer of the Fourth Lookout Squad, was reassigned to the Lookout after fighting off changeling invasion with a scattered royal guard and his bare hands>Cpl Wooden Coin>The short, weaselly Earth pony mare of the team, sent to the Fourth Lookout after being found running a black market for Noble Stallions used ball bras>The requisitions officer for the Squad, able to somehow keep the ignored Lookout supplied with an abundance of comforts and weapons, as long as noone asks any questions (or looks in the unmarked wooden crates in the storehouses)>Pvt Airy Helm>A pretty boy gold digger Pegasus stallion from Canterlot, a slut and every bad stereotype about stallion that Mothers warn their daughters about, was quietly reassigned to the Lookout after being found out to be a gigolo to over 20 high ranking noblemares>while vain and egotistical, Airy is a master social manipulator and can infiltrate any high society locale>SPC KO Kaboom>Frazzled and twitchy unicorn mare never seen without soot on her face and an unstable explosive device in her hoof, was disappeared by the royal guard after the Apploosa Gopher Incident>If it goes boom, KO knows it. Able to make a bomb out of some bones and a toothpick and with an almost unholy resistance to punishment, she's a force to fear
>>33851921>Not bothIts like you want jealous shooters blasting the school to bits.
>>33851974>PFC Rip Render>a Bat pony guardsmare from a rural town whose family were part of the dissolved Savagists movement, reassigned after the townsfolk of her town found her one night with a dead animal in her mouth.>armored with razors on her wings and hooves, Rip is obsessed with bleeding her foes dry with a hundred cuts, getting a not-so-almost sexual thrill from the fight>SGT Stalwart Spear>Earth pony mare who was reassigned with Wooden Coin when she was caught buying her "merchandise" in the sting and remains adamant that she does not belong in this loony bin with all these criminal madponies, pointlessly tried to keep the Lookout in line before SFC Anonymous arrived to take over.>Is a near perfect representation of a proper Guardsmare, with extensive training in Royal Guard weapons and tactics she is the perfect counterbalance to everypony (and human) else's lunacy, while also having a slightly (denied) perverted streak, especially when concerning thoughts about her new, muscular, dominating, stern commanding officer.
>>33851985Anon, if we fucked every school shooter in EqG that’d lead to a dangerous combination. Just imagine all the other potential shooters? It’d be like a herd full of yanderes.>Marble Pie, because pic related if it happens with the human versions of Big Mac and Sugar Belle>Starlight Glimmer, because she’s probably an edgy punk like the pony version was as a teenager >Moondancer, for the same reasons that Sci-Twi would be at riskThat’s just off the top of my head
>>33851204I feel saddened that noone talked about my green.
>>33851974>>33851990God I would read the fuck out of a green with these characters.
>>33851921That's hot, honestly.
>>33851985>>33851921>Herd up with all of them and live in a big house together.>Get kidnapped by supervillian along with multiple other bystanders.>Your girls find out.>All go to seperate rooms and get the things they saved for a rainy day.>Wallflower tears open the wallpaper in the bedroom.>Sci-twi has a safe inside her basement lab.>Marble pie rips up floorboards in the garden shed.>Starlight has to break open the attic ceiling.>Moondancer moves a couple bookshelves.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoTThWeyR0Q>All meet outside on the lawn and just stare at each other for a minute before sci-twi presses the beeper for mini-van.>>33852040>>33851204It's a nice prompt, i'd 100% read a straight retelling of canon but with Twilight as a teen mom and anon and her foal(s)Also since one guy called the first foal 'Dawn' i'm calling dibs on the second filly being called 'Eve' for thematic reasons.Cant really think of a name for any colts though, besides a boring "Anon Jr"
>>33852002Nice. You say that like edgy mares aren't hot as fuck.
>>33852099That gave me an idea>Twilight has twins>One colt and one filly>The filly is called Dawn>The colt is called Dusk
>>33851631>>33851639I like it. Please continue.>>33851692I kind of like this idea.>>33851913kek. I had an idea for that 24hr writefriend awhile back but I don't remember if they came back or not. Or maybe it was in AiE. Anyway, Twilight has to go the Ponyville Townhall to deal with permit violation because the Tree of Harmony didn't get a building permit before growing Castle Friendship™ . The Ponyville Zoning Board my want a word with Twi as well.>>33851974A crack team eh? Why I'm I hearing the "A-Team" theme song in my head now?
>>33852040I did. I said I liked it. I'd love to read more.
>>33851348>>33851344>>33851367>Dating a womanlet who looks like a teenager despite being an adult Have you no self-respect?
>>33852099Okay that’s actually kinda hilarious. A personal hit squad of former potential school shooters who all love you to the point of extreme violence. They should have a team name.The Fearsome Five? Anon’s Angels? Something along those lines.
>>33852099Let's cross a bit with the superhero thread>All mentioned used to be supervillains themselves>They stopped after hooking up with Anon since his love and support was enough for them to stop lashing out>They act like normal people for the most part>Except, if Anon is threatened, their supervillain nature comes back out
>>33852251>Anon in a herd with the Power PoniesOr>Anon in a herd with the Mane-Iac and other villains
>>33852261Anon is in a herd with both. Only he knows about all their villain/hero identities. To the others, they're normal people.
>>33851052>Cows are sapient>Cute one wants to herd with Anon>must refrain from talking about succulent meat
>>33851974>Fights with his bare hands>This is because he can do more damage with them than the standard issue foam swords and spears that they're given
>>33852302>Don't mention meat>Don't mention meat>Don't mention m-"Want any milk?">Not much better, Anon...>Moona starts to blush from your question>"W-what number i-is on the bottle?">You check the milk bottle in your hand"Uh, 1337, why?">Her blush grows>"T-t-that's m-my m-milk..."
>>33852261>continuation of Villanon when
>>33852356>You maintain eye contact with the cow as you bring the bottle to your lips and take a deep sip
>>33852261>The Mane-iac, alias Nice Hair-do, is in a herd with the Anon and the Power Ponies, who are also hiding in their secret identities.>Both parties are fully aware of who the other really are, and Anon is the only one clueless about the whole thing.>Every now and then Mane-iac acts up and starts committing crimes like robbing a jewelry store to get that necklace Anon had his eye on for his birthday or using one of her giant hair dryers to push traffic out of the way so he can get to work on time.
>>33851508I LIKE IT
>>33851631>>33851639I'd like to read more, do continue senpai.
>>33852302>>33852356Didn't we have a green awhile back where there an Anon married a Cow. I remember a scene where he wove her a crown of flowers for her to wear.I think I'd like a comfy Anon X Mooriela green.
Back to the thought that pony world is less dense then our world, what would the difference be?Because if it was something like 10x less dense then to ponies Anon would be a creature twice their size but twenty times their weight who can jump over a house.>ponies ask anon how his species is so athletic>he says he's normal but his world is more dense so the gravity is different to him>ponies ignore the science since its a colt telling them and thus he obviously isn't smart enough to understand physics>pone scientists insist it is because humans have a longer heel bone
>>33852085Sunset has been taking her to leg day recently.
>>33852509>ywn be gym buddies with Twilight and Sunset>ywn be the gym bunny>ywn have hot sweaty sex with both of them in the showers after a workout
>>33852546LaP is the one that gave me the gym bunny fetish, it hurts that there isn't more of it.
>>33852442Let's combine this with another idea from a few threads back.>Humans, in the not so far future, find their way to Equestria>An outpost is made in great secrecy, which later evolves into a small settlement, then an entire hidden city>The secret way to this new world is abruptly and rather mysteriously severed, leaving the thousands of humans alone>The land is relatively hostile to them from the get go, making them require to use full bodysuits with a compressor to collect enough oxygen from the thinner atmosphere>At least the low gravity allows them to perform 'great feats of strength' which is often required, if they want to keep their bodies in shape>Lower gravity means less need for muscles, after all>By the time ponies discover the hidden city of wonders, the humans has not only adapted but even evolved to the new envorinment, although they still need to wear respirators>The exploring group of ponies are in amazement though, as they find that these tall, lithe and strangely powerful creatures are wearing ornamental bodysuits and helmets>tfw humans on Equestria accidentaly became Quarians
>>33852560As you wish!>>33852556>First contact was made shortly after the exploring group of ponies has arrived, only to find out that the humans already know about the ponies and much-much more>In fact, they have multiple pony 'guests' living in their city>By the looks of it they are not as much guests as they make it to be, the exploring group can tell, they want to live in the Hidden City>The undescribable technological wonders and seemingly impossible structures speak for themselves, that's for sure>But all of the mares in the exploring group knows why those other ponies here doesn't want to leave>Everypony wants a tall, lithe, mysterious alien husbando>And with the surprisingly even gender ratio the humans seems to have, it's only natural for the ponies to think:>"They wouldn't mind missing a single stallion from this entire city right? Just one so we can all herd up, nice and fine!">[approving horse noises]
>>33852556'Evolved' implies a significant number of generations have passed and members would gradually lose the enhanced strength as they adapted to the lower gravity.A second generation child conceived and born in equestria simply would not be a match for a first generation human.Said human may be predisposed to such gravity, but as you cant exactly have a training regime for a fetus it would inevitably be physically weaker.On the flip side though, we have no idea how magic in equestria works.If it's something that permeates throughout the world like electromagnetic, second generation (and beyond) generation humans may develop an affinity for it regardless of their precautions to this unknown energy (if they can even detect it) which could manifest in a number of different ways.What is a baseline human qualities / traits, regardless of cultural background?The meme answer is endurance and adaptability, but i'm not sure of the science behind that.If we determine what they are, magic would more than likely just 'enhance' that like it does other races.If this is a city of explorers / engineers / researchers, chances are high they're all giant nerds, so quarians is actually a more fitting comparison han just the suit thing.
>>33852611Artificial selection can get insane results over only a few hundred years. It all depends on what the culture views as attractive. If their aspirational archetype is a warrior, then the frail men will be attractive enough to find a mate. Parents learning this would make sure to stress their children and give them good nutrition as they grow, to make sure they have a good future. It's possible for second generation humans to match our exceed their parents, depending on the selection pressures.Maybe magic is mutagenic, like UV radiation.Being entirely dependent on machines to survive, I believe their heroic figures would be inventors and mechanics, a combination of brain and brawn. The war is against a toxic world.
>>33852611>>33852677These are some good points and interesting areas to explore.I imagined the Hidden City to be the forefront of exploration and scientifical testing, which indeed implies a huge amount of scientists, engeneers and the like. Magic is a thing indeed, and as it gives boosts to unique racial qualities, it should give background to the near-memey human stamina and endurance.As for the evolve part, I intentionally did not mark how many years have passed, leaving it for the reader to imagine. To give some insight, it's more than just two generations, and yes, there are 'expectations' on how the idal man/woman should look like, especially in this less than hospitable environment.
>>33852611>>33852677>>33852829>Equestria is Earth millennia into the future>Humans evolved, or devolved, to suit their new environment
>>33852838Edit this a bit and it'd make for a great RGRE story.
>>33852611>picis it gay for a mare to be ontop of another mare?and who's gayer, the top or the bottom?
>>33852873>None of the people involved told the literal child and the literal alien what the cultural significance of his actions were and were going to lock him up for years over it.It's cute, but retarded.
>>33852895>Lock him up for years>Kinderquestria
>>33852895>>going to lock him up for years>male>getting punished for molesting a fillyhe'll get out in less than a week
>>33851125I bet you don't even fuck christmas cake abandoned buildings while calling them sluts for their broken and dirty tiles.
>>33852873That thread's not my cup of tea BUT I could imagine there's worse ponies to be married to than her.
>>33852873That's pretty cute.>>33852932>Story's slightly different>Ponies might shun Anon for being filly-booping slut (or, at least, some eyebrows will be raised), but he doesn't get solid jail-time assigned to him>Rarity's freaking out because the word on the street is shifting from "Anon booped a filly's snoot without her permission" to "Anon and a young mare were involved in a booping", and finally to "Anon's boop-ginity was stolen by a mare">They try to get them married for the sake of Anon's honor, his status as a non-slut, and to keep this incident from ruining Rarity's business and Sweetie's schooling>"You see? It was all intentional! They're married, so it's okay! Nothing controversial going on here!"
>>338528811. Only during fugging2. Bottom
>>33853005I'd boop Rarara until she forces me to marry her out of exasperation
>>33853050Would there be a more perfect wife? I don't think so myself
>>33851921I need more of Sad's wallflower story.
>>33852302Fuck. I've been craving steak for a week nd I haven't eaten today. I'd go straaight to the prison system.
>The Mane 6 *would* be attractive prospects for stallions, except ponies are skittish as it is, and stallions are even more danger averse than mares.>Even Twiggles being a Princess isn't quite enough to outweigh the knowledge that some horrible monster or villain is going to be showing up to cause mayhem on a regular basis.>And their stallion (and eventual foals) would make a prime target for abduction, revenge by proxy, and fates too terrible to contemplate.>Anon however, craves ADVENTURE and excitement.>The Mane 6 are happy they've found a male to herd up with, but are somewhat less enthused about his wanting to go off and get himself into danger with them on purpose.>It's one thing for somebody to come steal him and they have to go rescue him, but him marching off into the villains lair and trying to fistfight the evil sorceress is quite another.>But there is one advantage to bringing a colt along with them on their adventures.>As mares, there's the social stigma against being a coltbeater to worry about when it comes to villains of the male persuasion.>Even if they are horrible villains, they have to blatantly cross the line before the girls can fight them properly.>An advantage several villainous stallions have not hesitated to use.>Anon has no such restrictions on just hitting them in the snoot.>Also, colt fights are hot.
>>33853060There is some competition.
>>33852302>must refrain from talking about succulent meatNah. Fuckers probably run a Chick Fil A on the down low.
>>33853005>>33852932>>33852903>>33852895>>33852873>Instead of being sexual a boop is the equivalent of asking for somepony's hoof in marriage>Sweetie's congratulated for being able to bat a hot alien stallion
>>33853060>>33853050I'd do a lot more than boop this fashion-minded poner
>>33853125I would lovingly run my fingers through her hair and softly caress her side as she laid in my lap.
>>33853006>2. Bottomwhile a mare letting another mare mount her would imply that she wants mare(2) to rut her like a stallion, at the very least she is still in the mare's positionthe top mare however is in the stallion's position, and thus an absolute dykebasically it's the difference between humping another guy's ass, and pushing your ass up against a guy's dick
>>33853049Boopin' makes me feel good.
I swore there was a promote story going about the MLP RGRE Humans being like the Skyrim's Dwarven civilization and how they have mysteriously vanish or died off. Leaving behind their ruin cities underground and adventures encountering machines and other killer machanizing. And as well a few ponies and other beings in equestria try to find and a few have collected human metals, like those in Game of Thrones with Valyrian steel.Not Anon going to equestria with rare metals in his pocket or containers. There's a story already about that.
so apparantly italy fucked up? what exactly happened and how many episodes got leaked?
>A stallion in his natural habitat
>>33853178He's got excellent form I'll give him that.
>>33853178>Thunderlane and Rumble's mother's smug face when she pushed out not one, but two colts in a row
>>33851201>writefag pony-sona art>senpai noticedI never left anonI only became homeless
>>33853132The fact her eyelashes are fake disturbs me.
>>33853178I wish that was me
>>33853275I know, right? Those pancakes look delicious.
>>33851052I wonder how it feels to finally get the nice hard Stallion Rod up your cooter after trying to tame said Stallion for months. Must be heaven.
>>33851548>ketchup?Oh my sweet summer child
>>33853122>Anon boops Sweetie Belle right as Rarity opens the door>Rarity starts squealing and congratulates Sweetie Belle and asks Anon to take good care of her little sister
>>33853288Im sorry, who are you again?
>>33853312Im sure mares love the idea of finally getting a Stallion's meat stick right up their winking cooter.
>Trixie will never bring you on stage during a performance>Trixie will never saw you in half>Trixie will never secretly stimulate you with her magic while you're trapped in the box>Trixie will never invite you to her wagon after the show>Trixie will never make your cock disappear (into her vagina)>Trixie will never meet you again a few months later when she returns to town>Trixie will never give you a repeat performance>Trixie will never ask you to stay the night this time and fall asleep in your arms>Trixie will never break an axel on her cart and decide to settle down for a few weeks until it's fixed>Trixie will never grumble that her poor reputation has made it so that fixing her wagon is not high up on any carpenter's list of priorities>Trixie will never romance you sweetly >Trixie will never debate between asking you to travel with her, and settling down with you in town>Trixie will never take 11 months to prepare to perform a magic trick similar to pulling a rabbit out of a hat; only instead of a hat, it's her vagina, and instead of a rabbit, it's her and your foal Trixie is either a huge white knight or horse-Chad (aka a Trixie Lightningclit) who lives up to the bragging that she has the tightest vag south of Canterlot.
>>33852881>>33853006No, it's a classic hentai move.You stack two mares on top of eachother- preferably sisters or mother/daughter- then alternate between penetrating them from behind.
>>33851052>that OP I loved that comic
>>33853086>Also, colt fights are hot.I wonder how if the villains can handle a suplex
>>33853086>Also, colt fights are hot.Ok, now we know their real motivation to letting him tag along.
>>33853394who has the tightest vag north of canterlot?
>>33853446Trixie, when she decides to tour the Crystal Empire.
>>33853404Makes for some great accusation fic material though.>Sunset gets branded Anon-A-Miss>Nobody listens to her when she says she isn't>Realizes just how childish everyone is because that's what they actually are>Returns to Equestria and lives her life as a proper adult
>>33853404>I loved that comicThat comics was fucking bullshit and direct shimmy abuse
Do pegasi rouse like birds?
>>33853559Pretty sure that was sarcasm Anon.
>>33853559I do believe that was sarcasm, good sir.
>>33853568It's really hard to tell. In fact, I still have my doubts.Let's not forget that Scootabuse is a thing. Shimabuse is not too far-fetched.
>>33853559Chill out dude. I was joking.Also comics aren't canonEveryone in the fandom hate it to the point that IDW don't dare to touch EQG again
>>33853582He posted a picture showing the hypocrisy in the comic. Pretty sure that's a good indicator that it's sarcasm.
>>33853541Alternatively>Sunset gets branded Anon-A-Miss>Anon is the only one who believes her when she says she isn't.>They start dating and continue to do so even after the whole shitstorm blows through.>Anon puts the fear o' God into Apple Bloom for being at the center of the whole affair when her sister wouldn't.>The faces of the entire school when Anon publicly announces that he and Shimmy are fucking and that she's the only one for him.>He gets detention but it was totally worth it to see their faces.
>>33853597>And then they fuck off back to EquestriaSeriously why can't we just have a fic where Sunset goes back to her place of birth?
>>33853541Comic shimmer would totally return to equestria. The EQG mane5 from comics look like bitch that only hang out with Shimmer because she is with Twilight (the most popular girl of the school) but will use any little excuse to bully her or just exclude her from the group
>>33853603Because her mom is way too embarrassing
>>33853613>>33853603>>33853597I mean, there's nothing saying that Sunset HAS to let her mom know she's back in Equestria...
>>33853603Please no... Sunburst can't handle the lovely bully of his sister
>>33853613That reminds me of the idea that Sunset and Trixie's moms are in a herd with Velvet and Night Light.
>>33853625I wonder if big sisters are overprotective when a mare want to date her poor, innocent and pure little brother.
>Anon in a herd with the CMC and Dinky
>>33853677>Starlight did send letters to Sunburst>Sunset just burned them before he could read them
Sunset decides she want to marry Anon, but feels like she wants to have a traditional pony wedding, which would require her to return to Equestria and seek her mother's blessing. Her first instinct is to go to Celestia, but she just silently pulls a train ticket to Sire's Hollow out of nowhere and points at the door with a smirk.
>>33853678The fillies are sexually bullying anon again?
>>33853690No one is safe around fillies
>>33853627>>33853670The best "Scootabuse" like prompt I remember was Anon actually being Scootaloo's dad from a one night stand in his youth, and he returns to find out he had a daughter the whole time and tries to be there for Scootaloo, who mad of this guy trying to barge into her life and be a dad out of the blue when her birth mom was abusive to her before being adopted by her aunts.
>>33853703>Find out you're a dad>Find out daughter was abused by that mare you had a one-night stand with>Feel desire to make things right>"Dads are supposed to be a part of their kid's lives!">Find daughteru>Daughteru's angry (to be expected)>Not because he wasn't there before, but because this stranger is trying to be a part of her life now>Find out that daughteru does not want you in her life>Daughteru is daughteru in blood relation onlyI'm getting 'Nam flashbacks from rejection that cuts that deep. It's like I never left high school, and I'm just now finding out that I wasn't my best friend's best friend and that my friendship never really mattered that much to them.
>>33853125>tfw Rarara will never act annoyed whenever you "ruin" her mane, even though she loves the feeling of your fingertips scratching her scalp>tfw she will never hop in your lap whenever you sit down>tfw she will never press her back against your chest>tfw she will never make the same pleased noise whenever you bury your face into the nape of her neck>tfw she will never smugly stare at all of the ponies that are glaring at the filthy Monogamist and her weird, slutty stallion
>>33853852>Something something physical affection that isn't necessarily sexual in nature is still regarded as incredibly intimate>Anon unknowingly gathers a reputation of being a whore despite just hugging his waifu, running his fingers through her mane, and burying his face into her neck
>>33853706>"You two aren't those trap things, right?">>33853703Or when you go back to your hometown, hang out with our popular friend as they show you around to all the familiar faces from school, and these people who you thought were friends keep asking what school you used to go to.
>>33853861>>"You two aren't those trap things, right?">Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exchange a look>Oh, they'll "trap" him, alright>MARRAIGE trap him>By marrying him and loving him forever>There's no escape
>>33853860Even on Earth, that would make you look kinda...douchey.
>>33853860>gathers a reputation of being a whore>by hugging his waifu>whore>exclusive to waifu???
>>33853866Public displays of non-sexual affection makes me douchy? I think I'm very stupid and just missed something obvious.
>>33853872Fuck. Dammit. I used a word that didn't actually mean anything in that context. I tried, you guys.
>>33853878I think you meant closer to "nymphomainiac" but you also said non-sexual, so you baked yourself into a corner
>>33853884>Dinky, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, and CMC in a herd together.
>>33853890I just wanted cute ponies to gasp in outrage as I hugged my waifu from behind and sniffed her mane. My wants are so very few.
>where do you think you're going, hon?>get back into the bed. I need my snuggle bear>don't laugh. there's nothing wrong with calling your husband snuggle bear>not quite it and get over here. >I can't get a good night's rest without you in my arms.
>>33853893Sorry but anon is for mature mares
>>33853899You will never, ever hear someone say this.
>>33853852>>tfw Rarara will never act annoyed whenever you "ruin" her mane, even though she loves the feeling of your fingertips scratching her scalp
>>33853903>"Anon is NOT for sexual! He would never be gang-banged by a group of fillies!"I'm honestly picturing Anon being in a like a hentai you find on the internet where the older teacher gets fucked by 3 or 4 students.
>>33853195If this is rgr. She's not smug. She's sleep deprived, twitchy, and sits in the front portch with a pony friendly crossbow and a cigar, giving every and any mare, old or young a, "Keep walking or they won't find the body, " look.It's a dad protecting his little girl from weird sex hungry boys times ten because you know they don't mind ganging up and sharing kind of thing.
>>33853903>Anon jokingly tells them they can get married when they grow up>Hoo boy he should not have said that
>>33853903t- Old hag Mare that will never have a chance with anon
>>33853703I'd read the fuck out of that.
>>33853910I'm getting flashback from that loli train doujin
>>33853908Just tell her that her """""thinning""""" mane will grow stringer with daily finger massages. It works for men, it'll work for mare patterned baldness
>>33853918>Guaranteed herd of adorable pones>Cute fillies to snuggle in the mean timeAll according to keikaku.
>>33853942>>33853918>The same group of fillies follow him around and like taking naps together with him>He just thinks that, with how few stallions there are in the world, they just need a vaguely father or uncle figure in their lives, and he's providing that>"I'm the best foal-sitter ever.">Has no idea that they're taking the promise they made very seriously>A few years go by and they're still hanging around Anon>There's a desperate series of knocks on his door one morning>It's those fillies>Except that they've been growing up over the years>They're just about considered adults, and their first real estrus has just hit them like a freight train>Anon is now staring down a group of young mares who are all blushing, sweating, and trembling>One of their horns light up and an engagement ring flies at him and bounces off his forehead>Then, they rush him.
>>33853908As long as her Eyelashes are real The fact they were made fake annoys me.
>>33853603I don't think that's really an option when she did try and take over another dimension and jump in the mirror.
>>33853964This is Equestria. If Discord, NMM, and Starlight Glimmer get a second chance so should Sunset.
>>33853872>>33853878You may be a whore, but you're her whore.
>>33853903But fillies will become mature mares. Why not enjoy both young and old in one pony over time?
>>33853985Reminds me of a PedoTwilight story where she captures the heart of a little filly, sexes her, but, through internal monologue, admits that when the filly grows up, that Twilight will break up with her.Imagine an Anon that Evil.>Anon fools with little filly Apple Bloom, making sure she understands not to tell any one.>Of course she'd never betray the stallion she loves, and does everything he says and more.>Her dreams fill with the two living together forever, of her bearing his foals when she's older, of starting a family together.>As the years pass, he starts to grow distant as she grows up, but Apple Bloom tries not to mind.>One day, during an Apple Family reunion, a teenage Bloom goes looking for Anon, who had slipped away.>The last time she saw him, he was playing with the little ones, earning a smile from all the adults who saw.>That was a stallion for you, always great with foals.>She hears some panting and moaning from the barn, and peeks inside.>There Anon is, pants around his ankles, holding her little cousin Apple Tart by the middle, driving her up and down his shaft as she winces and moans.>Bloom barely stops the gasp that escapes her lips with a hoof before she steps away.>Still close enough to listen, she hears the familiar grunt of Anon finishing."That was great, Tart. You felt amazing.">"I- I did?" the filly manages between pants."You sure did. Now remember, you can't tell anyone about this. It's our little secret.">"Of course. I won't tell.""Good girl. That's why I love you.">"You love me?""Of course, sweetie. I'll love you forever, and only you, as long as you never tell others about us.">"Never? But if you love me, won't we get married?""... Sure, but you can't say a word until then.""I won't tell! I promise! I love you Anon!">There's blood on Apple Bloom's tongue from biting her foreleg so hard, but she hardly notices as tears run freely down her cheeks.>A sob finally escapes just as she turns tail and runs.
>Be Anon>Be a blacksmith>Be making a replica European sword>Kek internally knowing that the most violent place in medieval times is now a cuck pit>Place the new blade upon your display wall>A mare sees this and scoffs>"Neighpon katanas are better than that stupid club you call a sword.">You wot mate?>Take the new sword down along with a katana>Proceed to bend the shit out of your new sword, half sword it and go to town on a wooden test dummy>It's barely damaged>Do the same with the katana>It stays bent, the grip and hilt get fucked from half swording and the blade gets chipped to hell on the dummy>The mare is red in the face
>>33854009>There are many wrongs between our worlds>Humans have their priorities, and ponies have their own>In most respects, the ponies are better than we could ever be>Respectful>Endlessly kind-hearted>A bottomless well of forgiveness>But they're not perfect. When it comes to "the fairer sex," their kindness becomes lenience>Their respect and forgiveness becomes a penis-pass>And sometimes, we humans are the ones who create the worst heartaches for an all too innocent young girl's heart.>That's where we come in>We can't right all the wrongs in our world, let alone theirs>But if there's one thing we can do>We can make sure we take care of our own.I just vomited this up in about two minutes and it's probably shit.
>>33854010>push a weeaboos shit in"This isn't the only 'blade' that's superior to neighpon ones.">now neither of them are virgins
>>33854010A properly forged katana, not one of those shitty decorative knock offs they have these days, is an amazing sword.
>>33854055ok, can you please show a demonstraiton of a properly forged katana in comparison to a properly forged european sword?
>>33854055Its a shit bastard sword made from shittier iron.
>>33854065There probably aren't any properly forged katana around any more, or if there are then they're probably fragile from old age. It's been a century or two since swords basically became obsolete after all.
>>33854094Nigga, they've been continuing the art of making katana up until the modern day. Learn to do your research, faggot:https://youtu.be/HIKiWVpjhsg
>>33854100it always makes me sad to think about all the crafts that are slowly going extinct with industrialization
>>33853904>when you actually don't careSomeday you'll feel the same way senpai.
>>33854105Same. Some things are just better hand made than machine made.
>>33854121when everyone's super... no one issadwojak.png
>>33854121They are few and far between, and repeatability is the biggest loss of all.
>>33854116Your apathy saddens me somewhat
>>33853086Colt fights are less hot when one of them is a combat trained human willing to break bones (either his or theirs) or kill in order to win.
>>33853195Rumble is a colt cuddler. He literally has a mare face. He's a janefilly twink.
>>33854149What a shame.
>>33854055>an amazing swordLiterally only useful for cutting, and not even the best at that.Worthless against any properly armored opponent, even someone with chainmail would have sufficient protection due to the lacking weight of the blade.NEEDED to be folded a gorillion times to try to work out the impurities in the borderline pig iron the nips had.Shit at parrying and blocking, which, as a two handed weapon is kinda important and sticks you into an offensive role.On the short side of two handed swords, 22-28 inches vs a comparative longsword of around 40-50 inches also not so good for an offense.All that said, the katana was good for what it needed to be used for when it was prevalent.But its not an "amazing sword" as there are superior choices for everything it can do.Craftsmanship is another story, and is a very interesting and enjoyable to watch.
>>33854173holy shit i can totally see tempest latching onto earth's midieval period and autistically learning everything to do with swordsmanship from quality to history to tactics to whatever. she's could easily be /k/ personified>inb4 she burns down half of the everfree trying to hunt cockatrices with a napalm sword
>>33854149bonbon is a qt
>>33854170ur a fggt
>>33853688And then Anon hits on her absolute milf mom. It makes Sunset uncomfortable and upset, but also horny?The cuckset strikes again. Could you even imagine her shameful arousal as her own mother fucks her boyfriend right in front of her?
>>33854100Not only that, but katanas made properly today are actually much better than those of feudal Japan because the steel available to smiths is significantly purer.The whole "Thousand Fold" thing about katanas didn't make them godly blades, it removed impurities from the pig iron metal that the smiths of the time had available. When you hammer out red-hot steel, and you see that stuff on the surface darken and flake off? Yeah, those are the impurities in the metal, and by heating, folding, and pounding steel repeatedly, you continuously remove more and more of it from the metal.Japan's few and poor iron deposits forced them to do this to get decent blades, and it was so hard, and the material so scarce, that it's why samurai armor wasn't made of steel. They had to use wood and the like because there wasn't another option.>>33854065History Channel's Deadliest Warrior show did knights vs samurai, and they tested the blades.The katana had a better cutting edge, but knight swords had more heft and power behind them, and frankly, it didn't really matter if your sword could cut through three bodies in one swing or one, because either way, your opponent was dead.
>>33854186not him, but i wanted to use this gif
>>33854190>when the communist is presented statistics and logical arguments
>>33854170Rumble is actually a Tomfilly.He's a she, but she just acts like a colt.
>>33854185At the very last moment before you're about to nut she asks you if she can see your manager
>>33854190>not him, but i wanted to use this gifI am him, and I approve of this gif.
>>33853874Most people don't like watching people suck each other's faces in public, Anon. Hugs? Fine. Holding hands? Yeah, lewd haha funny meme, but fine. Most things beyond that are just weird to watch from an outside perspective and should not be done in polite company or in public.
>>33854010You know that "folded a billion times" meme? Didn't they have to do that because their iron was shit and full of impurities, and folding over and over was the only way they could make non shitty swords?
>>33854197IAMTHEMANAGER>Proceeds to impregnate her
>>33854207That's true, and compare the smelting techniques between Japan and europe. Japan basically heated up shit ores and picked the shiniest clumps to make into useable swords. On the other hand europe was able to make liquid steel, which I think made spring steel I'm not to sure
we /k/ now?
>>33854188>When you hammer out red-hot steel, and you see that stuff on the surface darken and flake off? Yeah, those are the impurities in the metalMost of the time that's actually Scale AKA rust, and it's not from impurities *in* the metal, but because hot steel corrodes fairly quickly on the surface.
>>33854207Yeah, it's why the new, but still professionally created katanas made with better metal are so good.Plus, using modern tools, like hotter furnaces and those big machine hammers that hit harder and faster help in forging better weapons, also.Reminds me of how American wine was determined to be better quality than French wine because the people over there were using antiquated brewing methods while Americans were willing to make changes to the process when they discovered better methods.This video goes over it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzuyG33r6kQ
>>33854190But it WASN'TREALCOMMUNISM
>>33854243>It stops being Real Communism when everything inevitably goes wrong>Every time
>>33854239The main reason why the katana isn't as good as other swords is mainly due to design and not the quality of the blade >>33854173Sure they are sharp as shit, but in every other way they drop off
>>33854239That's hilarious. That reminds me of that time they trained an elephant to paint and a bunch of art critics thought it was genius. Art experts - or experts in any field that is largely subject to subjective opinion - are all idiots who can get proven wrong the moment you put their claims to the test or ask them to do a blind test.
>>33854237>A potential waifu is worried sick about revealing her /k/ powerlevel. Not that you know that.>Then you take her to your place one day, and she sees your max autism apartment.>Coffee table is an ammo crate with a dissembled Beretta sitting on it.>Flecktarn BDUs thrown on the couch.>TV with an actual VCR and bookshelf filled with old VHS war movies and books.>Very obvious smell of gun oil in the air.>Patchboard on wall filled with patches.>Box of MREs and camping gear by closet.>Absolute unit of a gun safe bolted to far wall.>Somewhere, a speaker is playing "Fortunate Daughter""Sorry, it's a little messy," you tell her with a sheepish smile.>She realizes she needs to marry you NOW before someone else does.
>>33853918>>33853942>>33853952I like the idea that they take his 'promise' seriously and propose when they come of age. Setting aside the fact they grow up to be beautiful, kind and caring mares it's the dedication and loyalty they show that would seal the deal for Anon.
>>33854010Can we have something where Anon forges European swords that are basically clubs with edges?>Anon tries to sell some of his stock to the Equestrian military to fund his forging fetish>Shows off a claymore which was as long as most of the mares>Grunt mares looking nearby, laughing at the stallion for making a uselessly large lump of metal>Anon tests it out on a nearby dummy dress in armor>Proceeds to largely dent/break the armor with his sword and still nearly decapitates the dummy at the end>Sword is largely undamaged>The heckling mares decided to make themselves scarce>Except one that was blushing and muttering something about "Amarezonians."
>>33854332European swords are sharp as shit though.
>>33853603Yanno I have been writing a story before she goes into the mirror, was mostly writing it with the purpose of seeing where her character would go if it wasn't yanno, face melted with harmony juice.
>>33854332Flex on those mares with superior arms technology.I'm not really sure what weapons pones can even realistically use, seeing as they are quadrupeds for one and two have poor wrist range of movement. Not to mention a lack of fingers.They'd probably use lances or spears attached to their sides and try to skewer with them.>European swords that are basically clubs with edgesI hope you mean anon is just shit with his manufacturing and don't actually believe this.European style swords can be made to have very good cutting edges regardless of size and crushing capability, even in greatsword territory.And with some styles being on par with the famed body cutter katana. (messer, cutlass, falchion, etc.)You don't realistically need that much cutting power anyway as cutting to the bone is just as lethal as cutting all the way through and at that level sacrifices other useful things in the sword for that raw level of cutting ability.
>>33854332"Okay Sergeant, this is a human-style longbow">"...sir, how is anypony supposed to operate something that big?""with practice, watch">thwip SCRECH THUNK"see">"... that went through royal guard armor like butter">"uhh sarge, it went like, 3 inches deep in the wooden backwall""Oh, that reminds me, I've also made and modified some full plate armor for pony use, I'll go get it">"let me guess sir, it's as absurd as everything else you've shown m- knew it""absurd? this was standard issue for medieval knights back home">"fucking Amarezonian humans Sarge"
>>33854391if it was a real english/welsh longbow no way anon would be able to pull the thing at full draw
>>33854391Plate armor ain't that heavy tho. Especially in the way its designed to be worn.>>33854397This, bowmen were strong motherfuckers who trained from childhood to be able to draw that ridiculous poundage.I really hate to be that guy to shit on fun, but I can't let these memes live
>>33854397unless he wuz swole
>>33854405Bone and tendon strength is just as important as muscular strength.When you train to pull 180 pound bow all your life you develop higher bone densities across the shoulders and back and bow drawing arm.You can even tell who was a bowman from their asymmetrical skeleton development.You'd have to be pretty fucking strong to overcome that amount of difference.
>>33854121Machine tools are just repeatable. However the highest quality tools and parts are to this day hand finished. When you build an engine you hand hone each cylinder to it's piston, you hand balance the crank, conrods, pistons, wrist pins etc, in multiple steps because a machine can't. When you seat valves you hand seat every single valve. The best mills and lathes still have hand scraped beds, the best gun barrels are hand honed, the best optical devices like lenses are hand lapped and polished.Machine tools are repeatable, but they don't make as good a product as human hands to this day. The hardest part about tool and die making isn't CNC machining the die or the programming that goes with it, the hardest part is sitting there with 20 different types of needle files and honing stones cleaning each corner and edge to the exact spec, a spec that primarily exists in the mind of the die maker.T.Engineer/machinist.Seriously, if you ever see a tool and die maker or a engine machinist who doesn't have a hunch back, he's a sham.>>33854149He's got a chad face.>>33854188>you see that stuff on the surface darken and flake off?That's just scale, cos metals rust more readily at high temperatures. Look at the surface of hot rolled steel to this day, it has a heavy mill scale compared to cold rolled steel which has lighter mill scale. There's actually a whole set of GD&T dedicated to finding mill scale loss in hot operations, like forging.>>33854391Just make crossbows nigga. I have a chevy S10 leaf spring i've been considering making a crossbow out of.>>33854401>Plate armor ain't that heavy tho. Especially in the way its designed to be worn.But ponies are smol. One of my grade 6 teachers was into reenacting, he had a full set of gothic armor he brought in once. I've considered getting some just to have some.
>>33854401>bowmen were strong motherfuckers who trained from childhood to be able to draw that ridiculous poundage."If you want to train a longbowman, start with his grandfather."
I missed mothers day oh well here's more of this: https://pastebin.com/p9LJhxwe>The weather of pony land will never grow on you.>It’s fall, or whatever the ponies call it, but the weather is late summer if anything.>Frankly you don’t know most basic stuff about this place, you know the day is 24 hours and the weeks are 7 days.>But other than those coincidences, you don’t know if months even exist, or how many days in a year.>You’re gonna need to start learning these things, it wasn’t that big of a deal when you were alone.>”Da da! Blu!”>You took her to the edge of the Everfree to stretch her wings.>Pegasus or not, it’s probably bad for kids to be cooped up.>And ponies don’t come to this place, Everfree forest seems to be a taboo place to be.>You found a few old children’s books at a pony garage sale.>Is it a garage sale if ponies don’t have garages?>You tried to teach her from them, now she’s flying around pointing out different colors.“Mark that off the list, blue flower.”>”Fwower?”>She has a baby lisp, but you’re sure it will go away soon. She’s learned a lot of new words.“Yes sweetie, a flower.”>She lands on your shoulder but she doesn’t have the balance to stay there and always falls forward in your waiting arms.>She always does this. She thinks it’s hilarious, and laughs to herself.>Looking up at you smiling and waving her hoof and giving a short:.>”Hi.”>Melts your heart.“Hi, Meme. Tired?”>She gives you a cute ‘mhmmmm’ and then presses herself into your chest.>You should really invest in some way to tell the time, with the sun being on or off, it’s hard to tell if it’s getting late.>Ponies seem to have some magical way of knowing what time it is.>You’ve also seen some sundials.>”Da da.”>Meme pokes her head out of your cloak, and looks up at you.“Yes, Meme?”>”Wha da da color?"
>>33854443>She speaks in her broken English, but you think she’s asking what color you like.“What’s my favorite color?”>”Favtt?”“Color I like. Favorite.”>You don’t think she gets it, maybe one of those books can help.>But she happily bobs her head and says ‘ya’.>You don’t really have a favorite color; they all seem to have their place.>Maybe, you’re not an artist.>But you have to give her an answer.“My favorite color is whatever makes my little Meme look the prettiest.”>That sounded better in your head.>”Me? Pwetty?”“Yes. My pretty little pony princess.”>You sit down on a stump where you always sit.>And your little princess stands up on your lap, and leans herself on you.>”Me? No...”>She looks up at you, and shakes her head.>She’s so cute.“You’re not my pretty princess?”>”Me?”“Yes you, my pony princess.”>”No.”>She answers adorably and shakes her head.>Then she nuzzles herself into your neck.“Yes.”>You emulate how she talks, and nod your head at her.>”No.”>She responds and shakes her head rubbing it into your neck.”Yes.”>You reply.>”Weawy? Pwetty?”>She asks looking up at you with her head on your chest, partially hidden in your cloak.“Yes. My pretty little pony princess.”>She smiles and stands up before giving you a hug.>”OK.”>She says happily.>”Da da pretty.”>You feel warm when she says that and gives you a kiss on the cheek.>You return her kiss, and peck her on her cheek as well, enticing a giggle from her.“I love you, sweetheart.”>You hug her, and run a hand through her hair.>”I wuw you, da da.”>She can probably feel your heart, and your eyes get moist and blurry.>Then like a rude interruption, you notice the light goes dim.>The sun quickly sinks down and the moon rises up and takes its place.>Fucking pony days>You didn’t realize it had gotten this late.
>Just make crossbows niggaBetter choice and you can get a little shield to stand behind as well.>But ponies are smolThen that just means they need less armor. They also have the advantage of being on four limbs.Also if you're considering buying a full set of armor, I highly recommend you get it shaped and measured properly to your body as it will feel and work worlds better than a one size fits all set.Be prepared to spend some major dosh though.
>>33854447>You snuggle your little girl as you feel the air immediately gets cooler.>Fucking pony weather.>”Da da, wha’.”>Meme pokes her head out of the cloak, and looks to the Moon pointing at it.>You realize she’s never seen the Moon, at least not that you know.“That, Meme? That’s the MOOON.”>”Moooon?”>She emulates your speech in her cute baby voice.“Yes sweetie, Moon.”>She stares at the bright white ball in the sky.>”Moooon.”>She says to herself, almost perfectly though she still has a bit of a baby lisp.>You stand up, it’s probably time to start getting home, it’s probably very late.>Maybe the sun goes down earlier in fall though, not entirely sure.>You walk over the fields you came, there’s a very underused path.>It looks like it used to be stone brick path, though most of it has overgrown.>Still it’s clear enough that you can walk without stepping on grass and mud.>”Da da, Moon pwetty.”>You realize she hasn’t stopped looking at the moon.“Yes sweetie, the moon is very pretty.”>She’s mesmerized by the Moon. You must admit it’s a very pretty Moon.>Back home, the light pollution usually drowns it out, unless you went out in the sticks and saw its full glory.“You really like the Moon meme?”>”Yah.”>She answers somewhat softly, and nods.“I like the Moon too. When I was small, my mom used to sing me a lullaby about the moon. Maybe I’ll sing that for you if I remember it.”>You remember what it sounded like, but it’s been a long, long time.>”Da, da Sin’!”“Sing?”>”Ya! Da da! Sin’!”>You think of a song.>It’s been so long, nothing comes to your mind.>Your phone is long dead, and with it your last connection to home.“I don’t know what to sing, Meme.”>”Da da! Sin’!”>She repeats her request.>You try to think as hard as you can, and a faint guitar strum plays in your mind.
>>33854453>So familiar, but it’s been so long.>Melon looks up at you with those heart melting eyes.>You begin humming what you think this song sounded like, trying to recall words.>Meme listens patiently.>You blink and take in those big blue eyes again.>Without another thought you open your mouth:“Walking out along the river, stopping by the pines. It’s nice for someone looking to be heard, by heart and mind.”>You pause thinking you’ve forgotten the words>But one look and the smile over Meme is all you need to go on.“Lying on the needle floor, the city seems so far. Moving with your eyes and smiling words, told her you are.”>You didn’t realize how therapeutic this could be.“Sunday grace, one window brings the morning, and your words like dawn have opened up my eyes. I’ve been on a sleepy ride without much time for thinking.”>You look at a happy Meme swaying her head to music only the two of you can hear.“Till I spend one evening by your southeast city window side.”>You don’t remember where you heard this song, but Memes eyes make you recall.>The unkept path turned into town road some time ago.>Few ponies out at this time.>Memes sleepy eyes urge you to continue the song.“Baby hair blowing in that Sunday morning air. Dreaming of another place in time. I wish we where there.”
>>33854457>You almost stop, as you eye a pony couple dead in their tracks focusing on you.>Ignoring them you carry on for Memes sake.“And in your dreams you’re far away, but I’m right behind. Yknow it’s nice for someone looking to be heard, by heart and mind.”>A few other ponies stop and look at you.>You pay them no mind, as you step on your homes little path.“Sunday grace, one window brings the morning, and your words like dawn have opened up my eyes. I’ve been on a sleepy ride without much time for thinking.”>Reaching for your door, you see Meme fast asleep.>Thinking of stopping, you may as well finish the song.“Till I spend one evening by your southeast city window side.”
>>33854397You do know archery is still a thing right, although people do it more for fun and it's mainly for sport today, you can still practice the art and build the muscular strength needed to pull the string of a long bow without training from childhood, who knows, maybe this is how Anon got the idea to do medieval forging after using one of the weapons from medieval times, and him wanting to expand his knowledge on the matter.
>>33854459>Scanning quickly through the next row of books, you eye another that could be useful.>’Cooking for the new parents’>Adding that to your little pile of books, you look for anything else that could be useful.>You take note of your clock.>It cost a pretty penny and it’s wind only lasts 12 hours, but it’s been useful for timing yourself.>Meme is home alone, she’s gotten used to it you, even if you never will.>She’s learned to quietly play with her toys or read a book while you’re away.>But you don’t like it.>You needed to come to the library for parenting advice.>It wouldn’t be so bad if the library wasn’t also the crystal castle, home of Princess Twilight Sparkle.>She’s going to give you a hard time about friendship reports or some garbage again.>You quickly grab your haul and head towards the librarian.>Some little dragon who hangs out with Twilight.>You remember somethings about him at some point, but that was over a year ago, and you haven’t spoken much to the guy since.>”As per the new rules. Everypony needs a library card before they can sign out books.”>He doesn’t even look up and sounds like he’s already died of boredom.>You don’t know what to say, so you just stare down at him.>A good director can make this cool, you’re sure of it.>He just barely moves his eyes up.>”Oh hey, Anon.”>Damn you feel bad, he remembers your name.“Hello.”>”Here just fill out these forms, I’ll ‘expedite’ your library card”>He sounds a little less bored, and slides over a booklet of paper work.>Every time you consider not hating Twilight, she does some shit like this.>You quickly start scanning through and writing in the needed information.>Name, gender, age, address other basic info on the first page.>The pages only get weirder.>Number of ponies personally known, number of friends.>When it comes to intrusiveness, TSA, NSA, ATF, CIA whatever alphabet soup agency ain’t got shit on Twilight.
>>33854467>”Oh hello Anon!”>Speak of the fucking devil.“Hi.”>You almost groan.>You shouldn’t do that. She’s almost sweet.>”Don’t worry, I’m not going to pester you about friendship reports. For your information, the deadline for this months report has been extended to the first week of next month.”>You continue filling out the paper work.>”I hope you have chosen a costume for this Saturday.”>Almost dropping your pen, your only thought is ‘SHIT’.>You forgot about the party.>You have no idea what to do for Meme, but you need to figure it out.>And fast.>”Pinkie’s making the party in your honor. She’s really excited about the ‘Anon welcome and Nightmare Night party’”>You almost ignore her as your mind races to what you can do about Meme.>Maybe you can hide her at the party.>In what?>Some sort of costume.>”Hey what’s this thing?”>You look at the purple dragon, holding up a braided tube and a book.>It’s a Chinese finger trap.>You’ll never forget that thing after what your coworkers did.>You did get back at him with the same trap.>And some JB weld.>Fucking Chink bastard.>What it was doing in a book about knot tying, you don’t know.>”I’ve read about these! They’re a kind of restraining device!”>The princess is too happy to talk about the weird toy.>You continue filling your forms and thinking of Meme, while the two play with the toy.
>>33854468>”How’s it work.”>”I’m not sure. It’s just a tube, the book I recall only mentioned it in passing.”>”Uh, Twi.”>”Let me find that book.”>”Uh oh, Twi!”>”Surely there is some reference material on these.”>”Twilight!”>”What is it Spike?”>Oh yea. Spike.>”I’m stuck!”>”What?! How!?”>”I don’t know! Get it off! I’m Scared!”>You look up at the commotion.>Spike has a finger in each end of the trap.>He’s trying to pull his finger out to no avail.>Guy mustn’t be very strong; the traps are fairly easy to break.>”Wait, stop moving! Let me just!”>”That hurts!”>You watch Twilight wrestle with the trap as a panicked Spike tries to avoid losing a finger.>Shit’s pretty funny.>You almost laugh, if it wasn’t for the paper work.>Ignoring those two you get back to the forms.>”Maybe we can try some heat.”>”No! I chipped a scale!”>”Well maybe we can cut it!”>”I’m not letting you put anything sharp near my claw!”>You place the quill and ink back where they where and finish the soul sucking paper work.>You loudly straighten the stack on the desk, and Twilight and Spike both look over to you.>Placing the stack in front of Spike, you reach a hand over to the trap.>Using one hand you bring the dragons claws together, and hold the trap in place.>He understands and moves his claws free of the trap.>You hand the trap back to him.>No need for a good director to make that cool.>”Thanks Anon.”>The dragon looks at the toy unsure, and puts it on his desk.>”Here’s your temporary card. And your books.”>He slides the stack of books with a piece of hard paper on top.>The paper has a big ‘temporary library card’ written on it along with your name and a number.“Thank you.”>You lean over to pick up your books,
>>33854474>”Hey Anon, what’s with the parenting books. You expecting?”>Shit.>You didn’t want to deal with this.>”That’s rude Twi. You shouldn’t ask that unless you’re sure.”>Saved by the purple dragon.>Twilight goes a little red, and begins apologizing.>You cut her off, packing up your books into your bag.“Just for research.”>As lame of an excuse that is the two seam to buy it.>The three of you say your goodbyes and you begin your trek home.>A cool fall day, even the pegasi have sweaters.>Which reminds you to shop some sweaters for Meme.>You still have to think about what to do for the party.>Your finances are also looking grim. With Meme being a full time job, you haven’t had any time to go out and work.>Lost in your thoughts, you step on your home path.>Snapping out of it when you notice pink cotton candy trying to peep into your home.>The windows made for your height coupled with your homes raised foundation makes it hard for the mare.>She’s standing on 2 legs and just barely has eyes over your ledge.>You quickly walk up behind her.>You don’t know what she’s looking for, but hopefully she hasn’t seen Meme.>You can see a little pink wing through the window, easy to miss unless you’re looking for it.“Pinkie.”>The mare jumps to almost your height.>”Ah! Anon!”>She looks up at you shocked.>”I was just looking! For you! Of course! Who else could I possibly be looking for?!”>She starts rambling on, clearly panicked.>”I couldn’t possibly be looking for a little baby. No of course not! You don’t have one after all!”>This would be adorable if you weren’t worried for Meme.>Pinkie isn’t malicious or dangerous, at least you think.>But she’s also about as subtle as a bomb. Maybe even a little less.
>>33854462true to form medieval longbows are far too heavy for even a physically fit modern human to draw, english long bowmen literaly evolved into their rolestheir bones and muscle structures shows thats
>>33854476>You don’t want the cuckoo mare finding about Meme.>”Besides you already told me you’d let me hold the baby if you had one, which you totally don’t. And I totally wasn’t looking for the baby you totally don’t have because you totally don’t have one!”>She finishes her long rambling whatever that was, and gives you a huge unsure smile.>She looks like a little kid who’s trying to seem innocent.>You’re not even mad at her. She didn’t see Meme.>Even if you are worried.“How are you doing, Pinkie?”>You ask her plainly, like you didn’t just catch her spying through your window.>”I-I’m a-a ok, nonn- Anon.”>If you didn’t have Meme waiting for you, you could do this all day.“You know, where I’m from, it’s rude to look into someone’s home?”>”Yea… S-sorry.”>She slumps a little.“Please don’t do it again.”>She gives you a quiet ok, and a sheepish sorry.>Damn this little pink pony, you can’t be mad at her.>Even after their rudeness, they’re little ponies and your heart isn’t stone.>You send her on her way, and go to your front door.>Who knew raising a daughter in secret would be so stressful.>Stress that fades away as soon as you open your door.>”Dah dah!”>Your little ball of joy quickly hops and flies to meet you.>She hugs you with every ounce of being and buries her face into your chest.>All the loneliness, hard work, isolation and stress.>Worth it.
>>33854478>You run your hand over the warm mound of fur on your lap.>She calmly breaths fast asleep.>She went to sleep early, tuckered herself out playing with you.>She must have missed you while you where at the library.>Poor girl.>You where trying to study a book on food for babies but some chatter outside has you distracted.>The voices sound familiar, but you can’t make a word of it.>You do know it’s Twilights friends, sounds like Applejack, Rainbow and Pinkie.>You think about getting up to get a closer listen, but you don’t want to leave your sweetheart alone.>The voices are circling your house.>The inside of your house is dark save for the fireplace.>Hopefully dark enough for your intruders to not intrude.>You stand up and gently place meme on your cushy couch.>Wrapping yourself in the cloak, you chase the ponies in circles around your house.>”…Everypony likes a couple stallions goin’ at it.”>”But he’s not a stallion! He’s dangerous. What sorta pony keeps their house this dark!?”>”What y’all chicken?”>”I’m no chicken! I’m just saying!”>”I don’t think it’s right, AJ.”>”What do ya mean? Everypony comes ‘round for a good ol tussle.”>”I mean, it’s not right.”>”An why not? Ah’ll it’s good bits, everypony’s happy. When’d ya become a party pooper?”>”I still don’t think it’s right. Besides what if he gets hurt, he might have somepony to take care of!”>”He lives alone!”>”Y-yea, he does.”>You’re not sure what they’re on about, but the conversation ends at your door.>They’re going to ask you to do something, you can feel it in your gut.>You beat the clip clop of hooves to your front door.>Waiting with hand on the handle for a knock.>The pony doesn’t disappoint.
>>33854481>You open the door quickly after the series of knocks.>Applejack stands on your porch, looking a little smug.>You stand in your doorway, and she looks like she’s sizing you up.>She’s never done that before. As far as you know.>“Howdy Anon.”>You see Pinkie looking like she’s hiding a little way in the shadow.>Rainbow is not so covertly peaking from behind your wall.“Hello Applejack. Pinkie.”>You look at the hiding Dash, who freezes in place.”Rainbow.”>”Say, Anon. How’d ya like to do a job. Sort of a… different job, but it’ll be easy.”>You focus back to the orange pony.“What’s the job?”>If it makes you money you’ll do anything.>Well short of a crime.>You do have a daughter to raise.>”Just show up to the farm tomorrow, ‘round afternoon.”>Pinkie looks concerned, she looks like she wants to say something.>”Don’ worry, nothin illegal or nothing. Y’all won’t even need both forhooves, it’s easy 1000 bits.”>The mare grins.>”Whad’ya say?”>You don’t know what the job is.>But with all that’s going on, you could use the money.>That and a thousand bits isn’t the chump change you usually work for.“Alright.”>The mare seems satisfied with the answer, and says her goodbyes before turning around.>Pinkie looks at you with worry you’ve never seen from her.>Whatever the deal, you’re gonna make it.>For her.
>>33854462Firing a longbow once vs several times is a big difference. Most bows today, even hunting bows don't get close to the draw weight of them as they don't need to penetrate armor.The difference being is that medieval archers were also shooting a few hundred arrows from these massive bows a day.You gotta understand how much punishment that takes on you when you draw that much weight that many times over and over. (about 12 to 24 arrows a minute.)Funfact: the longbow was used more to harass and break up cavalry charges than for actual killings which necessitated the need for speed and range more than accuracy. Plus you're firing at a line of horses and men who can be as close together as knee to knee in formation so accuracy wasn't needed as much.
>>33854484>This was a bad idea.>If you didn’t need the money you wouldn’t have ever agreed in the first place.>But that’s not your mistake.>Your mistake was bringing Meme.>You couldn’t leave her home, who would take care of her?>But you feel anxious as you near sweet apple acres.>Meme hugs you, it’s like she knows you’re not feeling right.>She rubs her head over your heart.>Maybe she really does know, or maybe anything she does is a welcome respite.>The fall air is cool, even at this time, but the afternoon sun is almost as warm as your Meme.>You cringe as you see the orange pony, carrying a barrel of cider.>You’re not sure if it’s season yet, but the ponies only bring it out on special occasions if it’s not.>As the farm nears you see other ponies appear.>Lots of ponies in fact, your gut wrenches.>You swallow a lump in your throat and try to covertly shuffle Meme into a more hidden position.>She seems to love it, giggling and burying her face into ‘dada’.>She continues shuffling carefree.>As you approach the fence you almost yelp as Meme slips between the buttons in your shirt.>She seems even happier now, like you two are just playing.>”Howdy, Anon.”>Distracted by Meme, the orange mare managed to sneak up on you.>Meme quiets down as soon as she hears the mare.“Hello, Applejack.”>”Yer looking dandy, Anon. Ya wouldn’t be good to take that off would ya?”>Now you’re concerned, you don’t like her voice.>You never picked Applejack to be a bad person, but what the hell do you know.“No, I’m afraid not.”>You answer flatly.>”Ahm just kidding. Applejack ain’t like that.”>You don’t know what to think. Meme babbles something only you can hear.
>>33854488>”Anyway, come on in. We’re almost ready to start.”>Start what, you don’t know.>But you enter anyway, and take your place behind Applejack.>She leads you through her farm, throwing or receiving a word or two from some other ponies.>The other ponies all being mares, coincidentally.>Mares giving you looks you don’t like.>”Yall’re gonna be in the barn, till it’s yer time.”>You want to ask her ‘time for what?’ but you keep quiet.>”Don’ worry, you’ll be in good company.”>She opens the big barn door, and you’re met by a strange sight.>A barn full of stallions.>”See ya on the floor, sugarcube.”>What have you gotten yourself into?>Looks like the barn was converted to a studio of some sort.>Or a dress room.>The stallions are mingling among themselves.>There are a few mares, two you recognise from the spa.>You spot a set of benches at the back. completely unoccupied benches.>You make a straight line through the center of the barn>Ponies quickly get out of your way, standing to the side of your path.>Each one eyes you with a look you’ve not seen before.>A blue mare with white hair and ridiculous goggles stops dead in her path as she sees you.>She raises her goggles and looks directly at you with skeevy eyes.>You pass her without paying her any attention.>Finally reaching the benches, you take a seat and take in all that is going on.>Which is a lot.>The spa ponies are painting dark grey lines on a brown stallion’s legs and body.>You’re not sure what for, but the paint defines his muscles better.>You notice the pony with the ridiculous glasses taking a picture of 2 stallions posing with bales of hay.>You look around for any other pony you recognize.>You see a thin gray stallion with purple glasses you recognize from some poster you used as kindling.>He seems to eye every stallion there, shaking his head in disapproval at most.
>>33854491>The only other pony you recognize is Big Mac. Applejacks brother.>He sits relaxed while some other ponies talk around him.>He sticks to his unreactive ways.>You close your eyes and look down to see Meme squirming in your shirt.>She looks up at you with happy eyes and babbles something.>She puts a hoof in her mouth, and you smile at her.>You stick a finger into your shirt and use it to hook her hoof away from her mouth.>Then you gently tickle her belly with your finger, and she happily giggles.>The barns commotion ensures only you’re blessed with her laughter.>She grabs your finger with her hooves, and pulls it closer.>You let her have your whole hand, and use all your fingers to rub her belly.>She wraps her hooves around your hand and calls you ‘Da da’>You eye a hoof step too close to you in your peripheral vision.>It’s one of the spa ponies, the blue one with a brush in her mouth.>The pink one quickly steps besides her holding a paint palette.>You very slightly look up.>The two of them scan you foot to head, sizing you up in tandem.>They both step to opposite sides of you and do the same, then return to their original position.>The pink one smirks at you, with half closed eyes, and then looks to her sister who meets her gaze.>They nod at each other and trot away from you with the pink one eyeing you as they do.>Thoroughly confused and mildly uncomfortable, you shake your head and turn your attention back to Meme.>Who has taken your entire arm captive.>She’s wrapped your wrist in her soft wings.>She uses her wings and a hoof to almost cradle your arm.>Her other hoof rubs your arm, and she rubs her face on your palm.>You see her mouth moving and hear some babbles but nothing you understand.>You want to kiss her.>Another hoof steps close to you.>It’s that gray stallion from the poster.
>>33854492>He’s wearing some kind of collar and what look like a cross between cuffs and shoes.>He lifts his hoof, and with an air of superiority lowers his purple shades.>He too sizes you up, slowly walking around you.>Once he’s panned to one side, he has a satisfied smirk as he makes his way to your other side.>He gets closer to you; you almost feel uncomfortable.>”Finally, a good specimen.”>His voice is pretentious. Upper class without a hint of shame.>”You and I could be very good friends. Soon.”>Fat chance you think.>You don’t respond to him at all.>”Hmm. You are something else, sweetheart.”>He circles you, whispering to himself.>You look down at Meme.>She holds you with a strong grip, her ears and head moving to follow the stallion.>You’ve never seen her like this.>She looks upset almost.>Protective.>”I will find you, don’t you worry.”>He almost steps into your hood.>”I won’t let you get away.”>He steps away and walks away with a very light upper class walk.>Meme looks up at you, she looks worried.>She babbles something and rubs her face on your hand.>Maybe you’re reading too much into her, but it’s almost like she’s comforting you.>Whether she’s trying or not, it’s working.>Suddenly the commotion ends.>All the rush stops, and you hear a muffled announcer outside.>You can’t make any words out except:>”…Fillies, put your hooves together…”>You see two stallions walk through the side door of the barn.>The crowd outside is loud.>The mare voices are full of energy.>Your little angel, calls to you.>She babbles quietly, and holds your hand tighter.>She wraps one wing around your chest, convincing you she’s trying to comfort you.>The little darling.>She climbs slightly up, still holding you tight.>She starts humming a song you’ve sang to her.>You started a while back on a walk, and your sweetheart loves it.
>>33854497>She follows you, singing in babbles with a few real words seamlessly thrown in.>But now, you follow her.>She leads, babbling and humming.>You forget the real world, losing yourself in hers.>Her eyes are sugar and her voice honey.>You hum along, quietly singing under her.>The time travels differently for the two of you.>Swaying heads, the world changes around you.>”An wo we see,”“And so we see,”>”wun yu fi yu wah bah hum,”“When you find your way back home,”>”an tha mmmh be wun yu gee tha,”“And that maybe when you get there,”>”thaas ah luc aww evvv ree daw.”“There’s a lock on every door.”>”Nuu yu nu fffo se-tan,”“Now you’ll know for certain,”>”Wha tha bi wy wulds gud fffo.”“What the big wide world’s good for.”>”an tha bob juss no yur ncle,” “And that bob’s just not your uncle,”>”Amymore.”“Anymore.”>The two of you hum together.>You must look like a maniac if anyone is looking at you.>Well, more than usual.>Not that you care.>You want to stay in your angel’s world, but a voice tears you out of it.>”Hey, almost your time.”>A light green stallion. He looks a lot like the spa ponies.>You’ve never met him, but you’ve seen him around.>”Did you hear me? If you’re feeling nervous, I think we have something.”>He waits for a response, which you don’t give him.>He looks away unsure to some pony, then he turns and walks away.>You look around.>Most of the ponies are gone.>The spa ponies, and that guy are the only three working.>The other remaining pony is Big Mac.>He’s calmly sipping out of a tankard, looking at nothing in particular.>His red coat has some lighter red highlights painted on, like the other stallions.>But his coat is less marked than the others.>Just a few lines.>You’re distracted by the crowd outside.>Big Mac puts his tankard on a nearby table and walks a slow confident walk down towards you.
>>33854500>His eyes lock to your eyes through your hood.>It’s like he sees right through your cloak.>You look back, at his somewhat amused face.>He passes you by, and walks out the side door and the remaining ponies follow, leaving just you and Meme.>You still have no idea what’s going on.>Applejack told you only need a foreleg, but not for what.>You also don’t have forelegs.>Meme is quiet. She looks like she’s thinking and listening.>You listen with her.>The ponies go crazy outside bursts of cheers, along with the muffled announcers.>The crowd quiets down.>You don’t know how long the silence lasts, but it feels like an eternity.>”Now, contain yourselves ladies. We’ve got ourselves a new colt!”>You>Who else could she be talking about?>Standing up, your body cracks after being seated for so long.>Meme kisses your hand, and you smile down at her.>”Show yourself Anon!”>You walk to the side door as the others did.>The fall air is refreshing after breathing in the stale barn air.>There’s a fake tunnel they’ve built around the door.>The pink spa mare turns the corner and stops in her path.>She eyes you once more, head to toe and back.>She looks a little more red than usual, as she looks up at you.>Quickly she moves aside and waves you to go on.>You step out of the tunnel on a hard dirt ground.>The cheering crowd drowns out the announcer.>A white fence funnels you forward to a larger fenced off area.>You follow the path, paying no mind to the cheering mares around the fence.>Though you see a familiar pink thing follow your path, as you walk slowly to the larger area.>There’s a barrel in the center, with stools to either side of it.>Big Mac is standing by the stool on the left.>You don’t know what sport you’ve gotten yourself in.>All you know is that you’ve got Meme looking up to you, and watching over you.>You stop opposite of the red stallion.>He turns to face you, and you do the same.
>>33854506>”Whad’ya think ladies?!”>The crowd cheers.>Mac chews a straw, and looks uncaringly at you.>You look back blankly.>”Does he have what it takes to beat our Big Mac?!”>The crowd boos.>There are a few cheers tossed in, but they’re drowned out by the boos.>”Doesn’t look good for ya, Anon.”>Mac grins at you.>”But we take good care of our colts, don’t we ladies?!”>The crowd cheers.>You keep up the blank stare.>”Well take yer places, colts!”>Mac sits on top his stool, he raises a forehoof.>Placing his elbow on the barrel, his hoof in the air.>It takes you a minute to understand.>Arm-wrestling.>You take your seat, it’s a little too low for you, but you adapt.>As if on que, Meme lets go of your right arm.>You extend the arm out of your cloak, and place it into position.>The crowd cheers as you do this, and you hear some ‘ooohs’>Mac reacts by moving his straw in his mouth to the other side.>You slide your elbow in the correct place.>The two of you meet in the middle.>You wrap your hand around his hoof, and he wraps his hoof around your hand.>A pair of orange hooves wraps both you and Mac.>”Alright, ya’ll colts know what to do.”>You focus on your opponent.>Realizing you don’t feel too good.>This just isn’t right.>Right or not, it’s too late to do anything about.>”Begin!”>Applejack lets go of both of you, and immediately you feel force on your hand.>You quickly counteract.>Your forearm is as tense is as your opponent’s foreleg.>Neither of you move anywhere away from the start.>The crowd is as tense as your muscles.>You feel sick.>Your heart is pounding and you feel a sweat break.>You mustn’t be the only one though.>Sweat is pouring down Macs face, and his relaxed attitude is lost to a snarl.>”A first ladies!”
>>33854507>The announcer tries to egg the competition on.>”3 minutes and Mac’s still fighting.”>The crowd cheers.>Is that how long it’s been? It felt like it’s been longer.>Hearing this, Mac’s opens his mouth and grinds his teeth.>You feel more force on your arm.>That coupled with your churning gut, you give up a little ground.>You resist it as best as you can.>But your not mentally there.>”Mac’s back ladies!”>The crowd starts to chant:>”BIG MAC!”>You slip some more.>”BIG MAC!”>A bead of sweat blinds you.>”BIG MAC!”>The crowd drills into you.>”Only 1 minute before it’s a draw!”>He’s going to win.>”DA DA!”>Only you hear that cheer.>But it’s the only one you need to hear.>You can’t lose.>You feel a sudden surge of strength in your arm, as you’re in a deadlock with your opponent again.>Your fogged mind clears, and you grit your teeth as you take back lost ground.>You’ve been losing since the day you came to equestria.>You push the stallions hoof past the halfway point.>”15 seconds!”>Losing is all you’ve known.>”10 Seconds!”>You push the stallion further.>”5 Seconds!”>But you don’t care about winning this for yourself.>”4!”>You’ve already won.>”3!”>Your winning is next to your heart.>”2!”>It’s about not being a loser.>For her.
>>33854511>Overcome with energy, the red stallion yelps as you smash his hoof into the barrel.>Putting a sizable crack in the wooden surface, ‘Mac’s been forced from his seat.>The crowd and announcer are dead silent.>Mac’s face is pure shock; his straw fell out on to the barrel.>You offer mac a grin.>”Yu mie fee wike yur ah winah”“You might feel like you’re a winner.”>”Ba yu nevev no fffo sho.”“But you never know for sure.”>”nuu tha bob juss no yur ncle,” “now that bob’s just not your uncle,”>”Amymore.”“Anymore.”
I am back with new Artemis thing.>"Have you ever tried to enter your own dreams, Prince Artemis?">Twilight's head pokes out from behind a book, immediately diverting her full attention to the conversation.>The Canterlot castle archives are never very heavily populated. This is held true especially now, in the middle of the night. The absence of something as small as the sound of scratching quills leaves an eerie atmosphere to the maze of bookshelves. >Twilight Sparkle had been contacted by Princess Celestia only a few days ago, stating that she believes that her brother, Prince Artemis, having been freed of the Nightmare just recently, has finally settled back into his home and is becoming very heavily interested in the history that he had missed for one thousand years.>Unfortunately for the poor stallion, a lot of written languages can change in a millennium, Equestrian is no exception and had changed dramatically.>The princess had requested that Twilight and her friends come to Canterlot to assist the prince in re-learning how to read, basically.>Teach the prince?! Reading AND history?!>Twilight probably would have been convulsing on the floor in excitement if Spike hadn’t snapped her out of the thought. >Spike’s handwriting speed is blazing fast, it needs to be. But there still comes times where even the raw, unfiltered power of opposable thumbs reaches limits. The poor dragon’s digits were being left in the dust by Twilight’s talking speed. >Pinkie was the only one of her friends from Ponyville to accompany her; the others had their varying excuses for not being able to go to Canterlot, much less stay up the night with the Prince, as entertaining as the thought was.>Pinkie wanted to throw him a “Welcome back from the moon / reintegration into society / regaining basic literacy” party. She had also thrown in a bit about getting snu-snu from the Gargarean Prince.
>>33854529>That was three nights ago, Twilight guesses. She can’t see the windows from her newly constructed wall of books. One half concerns the histories of many different nations, the other, mostly teaching assistance books concerning literacy.>Prince Artemis, as stallions do, had initially vehemently denied needing help from the mares. The stallion’s haughty attitude didn’t last long after Twilight had pointed out that the newspaper he was reading was upside down.>Tonight, she had the prince quietly learning the new Equestrian alphabet when the pink mare popped out of an inkwell resting on his table to ask the big question.>Has he ever gone into his own dreams?>That’s quite the doozy to think about. A doozy big enough for Twilight to forget to cover her ears.>The walls shook as the Royal Canterlot Voice slammed against them.>”’TIS QUITE THE COMMON INQUIRY, YOUNG PINK ONE, COEQUAL LONG AGO. WE HAVE BEEN COUNTING THE MOONS UNTIL SOMEPONY WOULDST ASKETH US ONCE AGAIN.”>Praise the Sun for soundproofing spells on the walls. >Canterlot nobles would be sending their servants to mob outside of the castle doors by now.>Twilight is up to her horn in what were once neatly stacked books.>Did Pinkie really have to make the stallion open his mo->Sweet Celestia, Pinkie.>She was right in front of the prince. She took that point blank.>Twilight frantically digs her way out of the pile and scans the room for what is now assuredly a very deaf Ponk>There’s a Pinkie Pie shaped hole in the wall 40 feet behind where she had previously stood. >Prince Artemis, having seen what he has done, mumbles out a quiet “Apologies.”>Nighttime guardsmares were seen on the other side feverishly attempting to keep the party horse from climbing back through the hole, demanding she remain still in case of injury.
>>33854531>Shrugging them off, Pinkie hops through the hole perfectly, even matching the screaming expression she wore when making it. >She sits in front of Artemis like nothing had even happened and motioned her hoof for him to continue.>The now doubly confused prince sputters for a moment before gathering himself again.>”My apologies, little one. ‘Tis still a rampant habit we-er, I, needeth to do away with. Thou seem to be unhurt.”>Twilight removes her hoofs from her ears upon seeing Pinkie not sent flying again when the prince spoke.>”To answer thy question, indeed, I has’t tried to gaze upon mine own slumbering mind many a time. Unfortunately, t’would seem impossible, as we appear to be instead subjected to visions of strange creatures.”>A piece of parchment, an inkwell and a quill, encased in a purple magical aura, float past Artemis and Pinkie as they converse, over to Twilight. >The purple unicorn is sporting a crazed look on her face as she is receiving non-documented Equestrian history firsthand.>Pinkie Pie only continues to sit, silently.>Silent was a foreign concept to Pinkie.>The prince stood stoically against Pinkie’s unsettling lack of action, but he eventually clears his throat before continuing.>”W-…I am uncertain of their dietary habits. Neither I nor mine sister know any manner of beast such. Verily, the closest resemblance I would place upon them to be that of the lost monkey tribes of the land yond thee calleth Zebrica these days. However, they dost appear furless, and tread upon two limbs. From mine own visions, I hast found these creatures little more than savages, warring and killing their own kind. Their language largely yet eludes us, however most wondrously, there are small morsels that I find ou-myself understanding. Mine visions wouldst appear to follow a particular individual…”>The prince falls silent for a moment, his face twisting, as if distressed.
>>33854543>After a moment, he finally whispers,>”We liketh not the feeling brought by those visions. ‘Tis is extent of my knowledge.” >The archives fall silent save for Twilight writing some last bits and proofreading her work before she speaks up.>”Thank you, Prince Artemis, This is amazing! The Canterlot historians will be eating this out of our hooves!”>”Nay.” The Prince snaps. “For the moment, this is something I ask thee to keep to yourself.”>”O-oh…” Twilight doubles back under the firm gaze of the prince. The room once more would fall to silence.>”…Young Twilight, thou wouldst not know of any kingdom by the name Afghanistan, wouldst you not?”>”I-I’ve never heard or read anything mentioning a kingdom by that name…”>“Hmm…”>“WHAT?” Pinkie screams.That's it. I have problems with mixing up past/present tense in these. I don't write often so if I do anything else I'll work on it.
Green everywhere!>Anon's been a jumpy fellow for as long as ponies have known him.>Most assumed he was running away from something.>Someone.>An abusive wife or something, and they pitied him.>He was happy though, and got along well with most ponies.>He seemed to have problem with Celestia and Luna, but when asked, he'd just mumble something about gods.>Everything was normal, still, and all just went on living.>Until one day, the heavens opened up, and a man floated down.>"Hello, small equines! Know that I mean you no harm! I am merely a shepherd looking for one of my flock who has someone wandered from our world at a most inopportune time.">"Wow, Anon, he looks kinda like you, except for that long flowing mane and beard...! Oh, but you're suit and tie are way better looking than the white robes, so don't be jealous.">Anon, who had been trying to sneak away, flinches, shoulders hunched.>The floating man looks over to see him and smiles.>"Anon, my child! There you are-!""Go home, Jesus!">"Excuse me? I've come to raise you up to Heaven, young man! You missed the Rapture!""I didn't miss it, I avoided it. Now leave! I'm happy here!">"I don't understand what you're saying. Why would you not want to go to heaven to be with your friends and family...? Well, except for your uncle, but I think we both know where he's at.""This is Heaven to me, Jesus! I'm happy here, so just... go! Go do the end of the world thing or whatever. I'm fine here.">Jesus Christ frowns.>"I would, but the prophecies are very clear. All worthy souls must be raised, then the remaining bare witness to the war between Heaven and Hell. We can't get started until you're raptured, Anon! Why, Satan is barely containing himself! You know how long he's waited for this!""Well, he can keep on waiting, because I'm staying in Equestria!">"Anon, this is rid-">"M'sir.">Princess Celestia, who had noticed something was up all the way from Canterlot, comes to hover next to Jesus.Take it away!
>>33854558>be anon>get raptured>see some of your friends stay behind>don't know why>but not being worthy doesn't mean that they should suffer through armageddon>anti-rapture yourself through shear autismal determination>end up in equestria>know the prophecy>as long as you stay alive satan and his armies wont hurt your friends and the unworthy>you wont see your family ever again>maybe some people don't get the justice they deserve but you can't willingly make a conscious choice to hurt the people you love>every human is now sterile and ageless because of the rapture>including you
>>33853688Only character who looks better as human.
>>33854558Epic God being fights go! Who will win? One pasty white boi or a Majestic Alicorn Pure as Driven Snow?
>>33854552pfffft, poor Ponk.
>>33854558>Be anon>Run away from rapture and jesus for a second time.>Celestia and Luna give you alicorn powers mostly because it'd be nice to have hot exotic d forever.>Decide to start a rebellion against jesus and the trinity.>Sink away to the heart of canterlot mountain where the alicorn power originates.>Accidentally stick head in the statue helmet of some ancient warrior and get it stuck to your head.>Start going insane from the whole head stuck in statue thing and no friends>Discover how Luna dreamwalks.>Use your newly acquired skill to convince mares thirsty for alien dick to join you in rebellion.>A couple hundred years pass>Rapture still on hold.>Heavens and Hells armies invade equestria to rapture anon so that they can get on with it.>Anon has raised an army of ludicrous magnitudes.>He stands to personally greet the armies of heaven and hell with his army of thirst.>Posing tall in lewd clothing and his permanently attached statue head.>"What fools you are. I'm a god. How can you kill a god?"
>>33854514>inb4 he was supposed to lose.>inb4 ponk makes an absolute killing because she bet on Anon as a show of support.
>>33854009That Anon’s getting bucked in the face by Big Mac once he and Applejack find out
>>33853706>all the fillies of ponyville call anon "daddy">anon just feel proud because he thinks that he is a really good paternal figure >he don't know that he's the other kind of daddy
>>33854691If this is one of those Equestria's where ponies are considered adults once they get their marks, they might be the ones who get in trouble for assault.If Apple Tart is a blank flank, though, they might get him.
>>33854707Honestly i would prefer the opposite.>Anon cant help himself and dotes on everypony because everything about them is adorable.>internally freaking the fuck out whenever he's playing with a filly or colt because he doesnt want to seem like a pedo but he just cant say no because the foals are at least doubly adorable.>ponies accidently start calling him Dad / Daddy / Pa>including the adults.>including the ponies who are actually parents themselves.>celestia is visiting one day and overhears this.>takes him aside and re-introduces herself as 'mom', giving him a commiserating hug.
>>33854514He's alive again. The fire rises!In the absence of 'Anon raising a foal' stories, one coming back is always welcome.
>>33854790As far as I remember, this covers most of your bases aside from the Celestia bit, since the princesses see him as dad too.https://pastebin.com/DEiT2qFg
>Anon in RGREg.>Sunset looks after him since she knows what it's like to be lost in a strange new world.>Some how a magic surge happens and Sunset was next to Anon when it happened.>Sunset's mind reading powers got transferred to him and altered so he can simply read a person's thoughts by being close or in the same room with him.>Anon must now live with hearing everyone's thoughts until the girls can figure out how to fix this.>It wouldn't be that bad except he is in high school with a bunch of horny girls who keep thinking lewd things every few seconds, many afte about him.
>>33854009>PedoTwilight>You end up reincarnated as a unicorn colt with your memories intact.>With a prior love of fantasy, you take to magic like a fish to water.>The powerful imagination of a DnD meta gamer and human soul filled with willpower made your magic varied and potent, but you can only go so far without an actual education.>And considering you were born in a mostly earth pony herd with you as the sole unicorn, your parents and herdmoms were not equipped to help.>So you self-study until around 12-13. It helps, but it still doesn't replace an actual magic education. >Then the student of the princess moved into town, the literal Element of Magic.>So you went to Twilight Sparkle and asked to apprentice under her, ready to grovel at her hooves if that's what it took. You wanted-NEEDED to know more about magic. >You expected her to dismiss you like other tutors for being a colt, but surprisingly she says yes.>As you follow her back to the library, you subtly cast your anti-erection spell (don't ask) and bite your lip as you watch her bouncing flanks. >God damn Twilight has cake. You get the best magic teacher there is and she's an adorkable 10/10 with an amazing ass.>Once your lessons have hit a sufficient level, you are definitely corrupting her. >>Twilight is sweating bullets.>When a young colt came up to her one day, she nervously looked elsewhere.>Then her called her by name and asked to be taught by her. BY HER!>Part of her was delighted to take the role of teacher, the other part instantly had dirty TeacherxStudent thoughts.>Twilight keeps her tail low to hide just how shamefully wet is. The idea of taking a colt's innocence should not be so arousing.>But it is.>She can already hear the squeaks and cute moans of her student as she overloads his senses with "strange but good" feelings.>Twilight sweats loudly and winks under her tail.>She never noticed the colt following her sniff the air, lock on to her rear, then lick his lips.
>>33854514Just so you know, this is some really good quality shit. I remember reading it in the past and am beyond happy to see it continued.
We need this, and finished, long and uncut version preferably.
>>33854839Ask LaP to continue the 'principles make porn with studentAnon to help the school budget' then.
>>33854846Well, I already said it, so I guess I will have to dump what lewd Principle Celestia and VP Luna pics I have.
>>33854865Fuck them LaP, it needs to be finished.
I don't understand image dumps
>>33855009Its not an image dump you fool, its an offering, an offering for pornos.
>>33854820>Reverse pedo grooming Twilight.
>>33854432But wouldn't a machine be capable of greater precision? They can weigh things to a degree that one single human cannot. If something is unbalanced, a machine can shave of tiny tiny tiny thin layers until it's balanced. Doing things by hand just seems to make more room for unnecessary human error. If I want a message etched into something delicate, I would much rather a machine use a laser than a human use a tool. Because a machine knows exactly how thick the material is and can perfectly recreate any font, whereas a human's hand might slip and punch a hole or scratch something. The idea that man-made things are somehow higher quality than machine made things sounds stupid to me. When I get a pair of glasses, I want the shape and thickness of the lens to be calculated to the exact micron based off of the data about my eye and then created by a machine that is incapable of fucking up if given the proper input.
>>33855130Not that anon, but I think I know his problem.It's the lack of insight a machina has. A machine cannot correct itself on the fly, it can't pre-detect problems, as it will always only follow a set of commands.Sure, it can make micron accurate cuts or repeat the same action indefinitely (as long as it is maintained properly) but in the end, the human mind will make the difference.This, in the same time, gives base for the (unfounded) fear of A.I. even though by the time a true A.I. will emerge, we will be perfectly prepared to not only teach it but raise it, as a child should be raised.Now I have some wAIfu flashbacks, with Anon on his spaceship crashlanding in Equestria...
>>33854374>ThisRetards believe katanas Trump everything else thanks to animu. When swords were being made for war it didn't matter if you could cut a man in half, just that you cut him deep enough to make him bleed out. Even if you did survive the cut, you'd most likely die from infection.
>>33854514Absolute god tier green. I love this shit man
>>33854477>English peasants living on rye and cabbages>Somehow can't be beaten by a modern man with surplus fat and protein.I bet someone working out a few hours a week could match a medieval longbowman in draw weight and endurance if not accuracy in six months.
>>33855157If that's the case, then I would consider the machine to be no different than a tool. You instruct a hand-held scythe with your muscles and touch to cut fields to the exact length you want it to, and you perform maintenance on it by polishing and sharpening it. Likewise, you input instructions into a harvesting machine, and it will use that input to cut fields to the exact length you want it to, and you perform maintenance on it by replacing parts as needed and fixing anything that breaks. If a tool can be considered an extension of the body, then why can't a machine be seen the same way? It's useless without input, just like a tool is useless if the human behind it doesn't know how to use it. The only difference is that a machine needs human input only one time in order to perform the same thing by itself over and over again, making it the more efficient and precise and overall superior tool.
>>33855161>katanas Trump everythingdid your phone auto-capitalize "trump"?
>>33855190We need to post this as a challenge on /fit/. The Longbowman Challenge.
>>33854514Yay! Anon & Meme are back! What a glorious day! I'm glad the "thing" turned out to be an old fashioned Hoof-wrassle. What's going to happen now that he's won? Please continue writefriend.
I wish i could argue about katanas with Moondancer.Our reee-ing would be legendary.
>Anon taking care of his and Twilight's twins, Dusk and Dawn
>>33855251>picWhat the fuck is wrong with their snouts, Jesus, it's like a hippo's!
>>33855348Ponies are a lot like hippos. They have stubby teeth, they can chase you down on stubby (but deceptively fast) legs, and they are one of the most dangerous land creatures in Africa.
I want more of that Anon and his adopted daughter Summer green.
>>33855351I know how ridiculously dangerous hippos are, but that wasn't the point here. Look at those muzzles! They are square! Seriously what the fuck.
>>33855361>I know how ridiculously dangerous hippos areNo, I meant that ponies do all those things too. You don't know terror until you get chased by a tiny blue horse who wants to chomp your ass.
>>33854514Fucking story, making me cry and shit.
>>33855214Then do that, and report back with conclusions
>>33854790>>33854802>Anon in equestria>Except everyone thinks he's Dad/The Dad.
>>33854552>afganistanwait a fucking second... luna(by proxy) green, reference to the sandbox... RTpony? is that you?>mfw all this green in less than a day
>>33854514You cheeky cunt, playing all this up like it was some weird, nefarious thing. I was expecting the mane six to go full retard ooc too.
>>33854552>>”…Young Twilight, thou wouldst not know of any kingdom by the name Afghanistan, wouldst you not?”sheeeiiiiiiit
>>33855366>tiny blue horse that wants to chomp your ass>"Gimme that butt, Anon!""No!">"I won't stop chasing you until you sit on my face, colt!""Then I won't stop running!">"GIMME THAT BUTT!"
>>33855481Man I love the Mk19. That was my baby.
>>33854820>Go read a book during some self study time.>"Accidentally" fall asleep on your back where Twilight can find you with your hind legs spread, sheath and balls on full display.
>>33855496Don't worry, Anon, it's a big one. It's gonna just about double the length of Two Birds. Just a few scenes, then I stitch'em all together, and then I blow my load all over RGRE.
>>33854332>basically clubs with edgesThat's a mace
>>33855190The draw weight of a Longbow was anywhere from 100-185 pounds.Modern bows are typically less than 100.
>>33855548>waswhat happened to it?>>33855577>double the length of Two Birds>mfwjesus christ i don't know if my body is ready>>33855669are there any autists out there that train themselves to use those giant midieval longbows out there?
>>33855678I would expect the practice is revived is muslim infested areas of Europe.
>>33855678Some asshat was firing it and tried loading it make end first. The PSG was going to call EOD to deal with it but I'd been awake for over 30 hours already and didn't want to wait 2 more for them to show up. So I used a Kbar and a Gerber to pry some parts while I yanked on the grenade until it finally popped out. When we finally got back and cleaning it I found that I bent several parts. And then I moved units and none of the others units I've been to have had any.
>>33855669I get that. No one has used one in war for almost century.My point is that the average modern lifter could significantly outperform the average medieval soldier, due to better nutrition, and that someone could quickly train to match their performance without fucking up their skeleton. No art has been lost. People are much more fit and healthy today than they were hundreds of years ago.
>>33855577Oh yes, gimme dat birdherd green
>>33851475He's being dramatic now, just ignore it.
>>33854173Didn't they make some long ass katana that's only good on horse back and they needed a asshole to help unsheath?
>>33855706Longbowmen weren't your average medieval sodilers. They were highly trained and highly paid professionals who trained for years just to be able to wield those weapons. Even among bowmen most guys just used regular bows with much smaller draw weight.
>>33855344Is it Dusk til Dawn, or Dawn to Dusk?
>>33854401>Plate armor ain't that heavy tho.Especially in the way its designed to be worn.I remember when I was younger they took us to a firefighter museum, had us try to lift a old firefighter suit, it was attached to some hand grip thing about 5ft up that you were supposed to pull on. They stuck about three to four of us lil bastereds up there and we barely got it off the ground.
>>33855852>"Well they were being made from dusk til dawn if you get what I'm sayin'.">>"Mom! Ew!""Yeah, I really made that twilight sparkle that night didn't I?">>>"Why do you do this to us?"
>>33855852>whynotboth.spic>>33855876fucking dad/mom jokes, though i'd probalby be just as guilty in that situation
>>33855881>be in a two mare herd>one of the mares is preggers>mare can't do too much>this leaves her at the mercy of the other mare and Anon>who need someone to practice their mom/dad jokes onI can see this ending badly or terribly and both options seem hilarious
>>33855845Yeah but don't cut them short, even THEY did a assload of training, to the point of holding multiple arrows at once, being able to curve a shot, ect. Really amazing.
>>33855945https://youtu.be/BEG-ly9tQGkThe guys kinda full of himself but he's really good.
>>33855967Well shit, Hawkeye a bitch.
>>33855967He has full right to be full of himself. What a badass.
>>33847786Are you saying women in OGR never compete for men, and aren't forced to choose between a domestic or professional lives in the process? Since RGRE likes to go with 50s stereotypical gender discrimination, that is absolutely a way you could take the OGR. They were precious if they dedicated themselves to the expected role and performed it well, but those that weren't "good" material were mocked and shunned. I'm not saying that a reversal of 'women are the most delicate and gentle thing in the world' isn't RGRE, but it isn't necessary for RGRE. The primary necessity for RGRE is a Matriarchal society that actively demeans the masculine function within it, through restriction and expectation.
>>33855845I don't know what you're talking about. Standing armies (professional armies) didn't come about in Europe until after firearms were widespread. Bowmen were serfs or, in the case of England, yeomen -- landed peasants. It was required by one king Henry that every man older than 15 train with a Longbow weekly. They were professional farmers and craftsmen, drafted into war, suffering injuries, disease, exhaustion, and malnutrition. Sure, they were a powerful force on the battlefield, and the foundation of English democracy, but they weren't mythical creatures. Training for 20 years does not make you stronger than training for 2. The modern casual weight lifters would put circus-attraction strong-men from just a century ago to shame.
>>33855190>living on rye and cabbagesthat's an exaggeration but i get what you meanbut you'd be surprised what people could build on with a limited dietex. the irish ate mostly but potatoes when it was first introduced but were healthy as fuck
Anons, how would you react if you got to RGRE and found out teenage Flurry Heart treats her parents like pic related?
>>33856107Matters, am I teenager now?
>>33855986>HawkeyeI wonder if RGREquestria has a Mareval Cinematic Universe and how it would differ from our own?>Is Poni Stark a billionare, playgirl philanthropist recovering from the guilt of a lifetime of supplying weapons to the highest bidder?>Is Captain Amareica an uncompromising earth pony do-gooder from a simpler time, brought to the peak of physical ability through a lost genius melding of science and magic?>And is Braced Banners a unicorn researcher exiled from her home country after an experiment gone awry that totally doesn't turn her into an outdated Yak stereotype dyed green?
>>338560961589 was when potato were introduced to Ireland, when the idea of professional armies was starting to take hold in Europe.
>>33856107I'd spank her for them.
>>33856107Same treatment my parents gave me if I mouthed off like a shit. A full-power smack right across the mouth
>>33856096Potatoes are a miracle food, nutritionally. They have all the vitamins and calories to keep people alive, and probably led to a massive population boom.
>>33856140you seem to think that medieval peasants would be malnourished with their limited diet even before the potato.it's not as if medieval europe was in a famined state 24/7 or those dirty peasant look like we see in the movies
>>33856107I'd fuck them both in front of her to assert dominance, then tell her that all three of them are now my children and they'd better get along.
>>33856119>Braced BannersWhy not Betty Banners?Literally the love interest of his storyFavorite quote is still "HULK IS HORNY, BETTY!" from ultimates
>>33856274because I'm a faggot that can't into names, and I'm pretty sure the Hulk actually was involved in the military in the MCU or at least was funded by them, not too sure so I thought a guard-esque name would work
>>33856293The Hulk is usually involved with the military and most of his incarnationsGeneral Thaddeus Ross is always hunting him down, Who is also in the MCU.He's the guy who Tony is talking to when Tony tries to get cap to sign the Sarkovia Accords.
>>33856391I know that, it's just that I heard that in the MCU specifically his experiments were specifically to try and recreate the super soldier serum, but I wasn't too sure if that was confirmed or notalso horses
>>33851119Proof that she got laid.
>>33854662yes and yes. You'll see :^). Suggestions open, thank you for reading and replying. >>33854799>>33854821>>33855181>>33855253Thanks for reading and replying friends. I hope you are enjoying this, and any and all feedback is welcome, positive or negative. I don't want to be an attention whore but any reactions and replies let me know if people are enjoying where I'm taking the story. So thank you. >>33855380Sorry anon, I'm gonna have to get a few more tears out of you. Thanks for reading, go ahead and throw some pointers or suggestions if you want.>>33855473:^)Thank you. I hope you liked it. Any suggestions, praise or insults are always welcome.On a completely seperate note. I went to an actual race track today and this is the car I was really rooting for.
>>33856450Doing horsegods work anonDon't you dare stop, or i will find you
>>33854552Thanks for the update.>>33854820This could be interesting.>>33854846I'd love for that to continue as well.>>33854853>>33854856>>33854857>>33854860>>33854865 (Like this one...>>33854870 (...and this one the best.)Thanks for all the pics.>>33855251I'm looking forward to it.>>33855876>>33855928kek>>33856450>picNeat!
>>33856107"Wow. No wonder your dad doesn't love you."
>>33853952tosses the ring at his face."Good we're horse married now. Fuck us."
Would you resist her transformation?
>>33856814And? Are you a fag that would resist them tits?
>>33856808Tits look fake. Ass is pretty good.>Would you resist her transformation?I want to say "yes", but I'm incredibly lonely, I have low standards, and I very honestly would fall for the first RGRE female who shows interest in me. I'd be the kinda ugly chick at the bar who goes home with the wingman, who's there specifically to get the ugly friend away from the hot chick so that his friend can have her. Pity me, Anon. Pity your lost brother, who has strayed from the light.
>>33856808I wouldn't even try. Not that I can tell much difference.
>>33856808>She looks like a Steven Universe rejectI would resist her either way
>>33856821It all looks terrible, what are your standards.
>>33856808no, i want that ass on my face.
>>33856829Showing genuine interest in me. I have very low self-esteem, Anon.
>>33856823god bless memri tv and anontheanon
>>33856808>no hooves also no way twi has a tan that would mean she went outside
>>33856856Its choco Twi, roll with it.
>>33856856I mean have you seen a mexican who never leaves their house we can get pretty pale and look more like a tan white person than their own race I totally don't know this because I'm a fucking NEET beaner or anything
>>33856450AutismobileGran AutismoTard de force
>"I can give you foals.">"I can raise'em, too! Find another mare who's helped raise literally dozens of foals!">"C'mon, don't all stallions wanna be a father deep down?">"I bet you can feel your biological clock tick-tick-ticking away.">"It's not like I have time to have friends because of my job during the week and the homework I have to grade on the weekends.">"I mean, I'll never come home drunk from an evening with the mares and beat you in a drunken rage.">"No, that's not a suspiciously specific example.">"...">"For the love of Celestia, Anon, I am 32 years old and I will pin you down and rape you if you do not give me a family right now before my uterus withers up and dies."
>>33857021I am impressed she is so wordy with my head between her thighs....I am worried for how often she had to masturbate at school to relieve the tension., and had to act normal
>>33855967If I recall, "professional" archers hate him.Can't remember why specifically, though. I think they're saying he's performing dangerous stunts, some of which use real people as part of the trick, and not doing real archery.
>RainBro Dash in RGRE>In normal Equestria, she's just a tomboy who's best bro's with Anon>In RGRE, she's really obvious about her awkward crush on Anon and tries to mask it by acting like he's her sis>She's the equivalent of a dude who uses sports and physical activity as an excuse to hang out with (and make physical contact with) a girl>Anon is oblivious for whatever reason (Rainbow's a really good liar sometimes and convinces him that Ponyville is more dangerous for colts than it actually is and she's just looking out for him) (Anon has an abysmally low selfesteem and it never occurs to him that Rainbow might be interested in him)>Rainbow's friends feel awkward at how obvious Rainbow's crush is and wonder if they should encourage her to make the first fucking move before some mare with bigger teats comes along and snatches poor innocent Anon up
>>33857052Fuck being oblivious, any man would know that feeling of friend that wants to be more but is worried about permanent friendzoning. I would pick her up the week she feels that way and take her home with me.
Pony prisons are scary.
>>33857021I'd give her so many foals. That said I would probably wind up like that one Anon that said the first mare to give me the time of day and I'd be stuttering like a wreck other mares might think I'm being pressured into something.
>>33857060>Rainbow is actually desperately afraid that she'll ruin her friendship with you if she makes a move>Rainbow really wants you to be her coltfriend and make horsehugs with you, but the thought that she could be risking the opportunity to hang out and chat and practice flying (while you watch) is too scary for her and holds her back>None of her friends can convince her to just tell you how she feels
>>33857021I'm hot for teacher already. I'd gladly be her stallion.
>>33857021>I am 32 years oldThat gives her about eight years of foalbearing. So eight children, we can do this.
This is how your herd occupies themselves when you're not at home.https://derpibooru.org/2040667
>>33857152>come home>all your mares laying on the bed like this
>>33855813https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%8CdachiIt didn't *need* someone to help draw it, but that did happen.
>>33856140>probably led to a massive population boom.it did, and then the Blight and the Potato Famine happened, and then there was mass starvation, at least in Ireland, which had far less alternative crops to turn to.
>>33856147As a matter of fact, peasants often had healthier diets than the nobility.Many of the luxury foods that the nobility ate a lot of were less nutritional than the cheaper alternatives (bread from bleached white flour vs whole grain flour being an example)
>>33857271I'm reminded that the peasantry ate a LOT of seafood back then, since the nobility saw it as filthy. Funny how things change.
>>33857052>>Anon is oblivious for whatever reason (Rainbow's a really good liar sometimes and convinces him that Ponyville is more dangerous for colts than it actually is and she's just looking out for him) (Anon has an abysmally low selfesteem and it never occurs to him that Rainbow might be interested in him)>Anon has some chub, figures an athletic mare like Dash would only be interested in a /fit/ anon with abs.>But she thinks it just makes him cuddlier.
>>33857152>>33857196I think we all know what happens next
>>33857287Lots of pregnancies?
>>33856119It's a utopia, it doesn't have an MCU. Or any modern awful normie fodder.
>>33857303Three foals on the way simultaneously minimum.
>>33851990And together they are THE D TEAM
>>33854853I miss Jaywriter
>>33857021she need more greentext
>>33857360Fuck off. 500 only you useless fuck.
>>33857282Anon please dont give false hope
>>33857303I should probably continue my Wallflower green soon...
>>33857360Aren't you supposed to be banned for this shit?
>>33857427Rainbow likes maledom and petplay... right up until you try to walk her out in public.Then she gets fussy.
>>33852228Nothing makes your penis feel bigger then a tiny woman
>>33857469Or a loli.>>33857336My guess is they think that counts as porn, but the bits aren't showing, so it's fine.>>33857311That's a lot of diapers and baby food all at once.>>33857274Peasants had it made. Actually, wven up to semi-modern times, they were serving lobster in prisons.
>>33856808Ew, why do they always give them fucked up lips? Also she's dressed like a hooker.
>>33856919Well, you speak English well, where you a anchorbaby or did they actually get you over legally?
>>33857048I mean yeah, but I've seen multiple things where doctors or chiropractors hate someone because of 1 big secret. That and 'professional' archers aren't special, they literally all do to same thing, aim at the target, fire, and don't all stunt people use one person? Like, it's not like he's forcing them to be there and do it.
>>33857501>>33857048He's more of a stuntman than a 'professional' archer.Historically, the stuntman is probably closer to what archers back then actually did.
>>33857447>Rainbow Dash likes petplay, but swears you to silence.>One day, she almost slips when, while walking together, a mare calls out a few flirtatious comments in your direction and Dash growls at the offender.>Luckily, she isn't heard, but your boisterous laughter is as she blushes furiously at all the looks the both of you get.>You aren't laughing that night when, while wearing her collar and leash, she suddenly turns on you and raises a leg.>"Gotta mark my territory so bitches know what's mine," she says as you yelp and jump away.>There's nothing, though, and Dash begins to laugh hysterically at your expense.>"Bwahaha! You-you really thought I was gonna pee on you, Anon? Seriously? I might like the leash, but I'm not one of those pee fetish weirdos.">You frown down at her from atop a chair, silently stepping down and heading to the kitchen.>"Hey, Anon? Where you going?" she starts to ask, but her eyes widen when you return with a squirt bottle. "Anon, don't you dare. I mean i- Ah!">You squirt her in the face with the bottle, and she rears back like a demon getting doused with holy water.>"Anon! Don't! Stop! Come on!""Bad dog. You do not scare your master like that," you chide sternly. "Now sit!">Grumbling and wiping water from her face, she still does as she's told, glaring up at you through wet bangs."Good. Give me a hoof. Other one. Good girl, now lay down, roll over. Perfect. Sit. Spin. Turn around. Present."As soon as the last word escapes your mouth, her mood goes from frustrated to excited, and she lowers her front half.>Her tail wags a few times before remaining to the side, and she glances back at you, tongue hanging out."You're such a beautiful pet," you say as you step closer behind her. "Speak for me, girl.">"Woof!""Good. Tell me how much you want it.">"Woof! Woof!">You undo your belt and let your pants drop.>Like Pavlov's bell, the sound of the buckle hitting the floor makes the mare start to drool from her lower lips.
>>33857530Not my fetish, but adorable anyway.
alright now fuck off
>>33857282>>33857370This. I've already given up on trying until I've lost weight.
>>33857532>>33857530I dig it but why dog? You got a perfectly good beast of burden to exploit. Ditch the collar and leash and slap a halter on her, give her a few swats with a riding crop, and let her graze like the animal she is before even thinking about HMD.
>>33856452Goodluck <3>>33856754>neatThe driver and team where also really cool. I wish I had 50k to drop, I really wanna race micras.>>33856980https://opposingforce.us/product/tismo/
>>33853154Got a link?>>33853178Stallions need to stay in the kitchen.
>>33860266We have a new thread>>33857328>>33857328>>33857328