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>>33734117I would not know what to do with that cute mail girl, I would likely hide behind the door and ask her to leave it on the porch.
first to declare best princess
>When you finally remove all the built-in spyware, bloatware, disable tracking, and install adblock and lewd unblocker on your wAIfu.
I'm a fan of derpy and tits, but how in the fuck is that OP thread related.Unless this is some weird roleplay involving mail mares that seduces males with mail in their maremaries.Either way i prefer crotchtits, and i feel that wouldn't work as well for this.
This is a very cute pony
>>33734216barbiefags have a mentally ill need to shove their shit everywhere
>>33734243t.faggot that don't like tits
How would you react to having a sister who dresses like a slut when she's around you?
>>33734304Mom needs to stop giving her advice.
>>33734304wrong thread you mongoloid
All this discussion of who's tits are superior is sounding pretty dyky, tqbh.
>>33734337That's because you can't get a dick to smother between them, dyke
>>33734304Tell her to cover the fuck up while I glare daggers at other dudes checking my sister out. Incest is neat and all bjt not when it's an actual sister you share a legitimate familial bond with.
>>33734343>Implying I'm not a man
>>33734348>Guys checking out your sisterDid you forget where you were?
>>33734304>When you get transported to RGREqG, you get de-aged down to a toddler.>It's awful. At least you're not in diapers.>Being a lost little boy, a good samaritan takes you to the orphanage.>Efforts to find your parents are fruitless, considering they're in another dimension. >You get put up for adoption and almost immediately have families lining up to take you.>Being a cute boy in an RGR land has it's perks>A family with a young daughter your (physical) age takes you in and loves you like their own>It's... not a bad arrangement all things considered. It takes time to think of your new parents as YOUR parents, but it sticks and you grow to love them.>Your new sister adores you and you think she's the cutest thing on this or any earth. She's quick to chase off any bullies and says she'll protect you "forever and ever" despite you swiftly growing larger than her>Your sister is easily the best part of this new life. You have to turn down being accelerated through school just to be with her, and later her friends since you don't behave like a "boy">With a do-over of life and half-remembered advice from /fit/, you carefully monitor your growth and health, steadily growing up to be a fit knock-out>Your sister has to chase away girls with even more fervor than ever>Buy the time highschool rolls around, you could make a living of being a janegirl-themed Instagram thot. In fact, you would if thottory didn't disgust you in any form>You also notice your sister starting to look at you strangely and suddenly being more touchy feely than usual. You wonder whats on her mind.>Meh. She'll tell you if it's important.>>You are Rainbow Dash.>And good god your brother looks amazing in skinny jeans and a tight shirt.>You did NOT almost bust an ovary when he hugged you. Not at all.>...Its okay because he's adopted. That makes it okay.>Again you notice other girls eyeing him and jealously rears it's ugly head.>Cunts. He's taken. It's just not been announced yet.
>>33732035>Be Rainbow Dash, Ponyville's suavest bachelorette>You just your herd the best date possible>Sure, Anon isn't like most colts, but he's still easy on the eyes and a LOT more fun than them>Most stallions just talk about boring stuff about themselves, like their manes and clothes>Anon was like one of the mares>That didn't make you gay, right? >Stupid Anon, making you insecure about your sexuality>Whatever, he's still a colt and that's what matters>You'll show mom everypony that you and your herd are straight as can be!>You gathered your herd together to tell them the good news"Well girls, get ready to kiss my hooves because I got us the thing we've all been waiting for!">"Oh, you picked up the new Daring Do for us to read?""What!? A new Daring Do book came out!? I gotta- wait, no Twilight, even bigger!">>"Ya'll convinced tha Wonderbolts to buy mah apples for their concession stands!?""Even bigger!">>>"We're finally going to install a dessert bar in the bedroom!?""Pinkie! You already know what I'm talking about!">>>"I do?""*sigh* I'll just say it: I got us a date with-">>>>"EEEEE!! Oh Dash, darling! You've finally got my hint that I want us to go to Maison des Soleil for our herd anniversery!!""Oh, er, maybe? We might have to bring somepony with us though...">"Huh? Who would we have to bring on our anniversery?""Ugh!!! I've been trying to tell you guys that I got us a stallion for our herd!>Your eyes folded back in pain as your heard shouted WHAT at you all at the same time>"Rainbow Dash! How could you just ask a random stallion into our herd like that!? Besides, you know how Fluttershy feels about strange stallions>Sure enough, Fluttershy has already hidden behind her chair, shivering in fear>She never got over how often she got bullied by colts in flight school>Even now, she can't be near a new colt without one of us nearby"Relax, he's isn't a random stallion. It's Anon."
>>33734624Yes I like thing
>>33734304An RGRE sister who dresses like a slut?I'm not sure.Is that the equivalent of a slob who can't be bothered to put on clothes, a Mardi Gras parade super-homo, or like, some kind of chad who wants to show off his steroids?
>>33734624Please, continue with this. I enjoy it.
>>33734624go back to your containment thread
>>33734216I don't know, how was the giraffe in last thread's OP thread related?
>>33734357>There are males on the internetPull the other one, it has bells on it.
>>33734624Wasn't there a prompt a while ago about the flower sisters unofficially adopting Anon as their younger brother? There was some backstory about how family units are very important to ponies, and that's why Cheerilee (a female teacher in a world where that's about as trusted as a male teacher here) is trusted with a bunch of foals: because on some level, she sees them as her own and she'd protect them with her life. So, with Anon being new in town and just generally being distressed at suddenly being pulled into a new world, the flower sisters took him in and offered him platonic comfort. It ended with the normally cowardly flower sisters going up to a mare who was interested in Anon and asking her what her intention was with their "brother".
>tfw mares can slip in and out of our world with the help of a unicorn friend, tearing holes into our reality >tfw the tears are silent, can happen anywhere, and are absolutely untraceable by any technology that we currently have>tfw mares like to stake out human male's homes>tfw if they find one they like, they'll bring their unicorn friend along and proceed to break in while you're asleep>tfw the unicorn friend will never give you a legitimate horse donger>An actual two foot long cock thicker than a soda can and balls the size of softballs>tfw, with the use of magic, the thing works like a normal dick>You can even get hard without it killing you>the problem is that it's too big for any toy, any woman, even self-pleasure>tfw they even give the male a little libido boost as well >Not enough to turn you into a lust-crazed maniac, but maybe right out of high school levels of horniess >tfw they then let the male stew like this for months, until they're dry humping furniture before stepping in>tfw a taste of a mare's holes usually hooks the man after a session or two, making it the perfect opportunity for the mare to take him back to Equestria to be the perfect house husband>tfw mares call this "leading the colt to the flower patch">tfw all the races start doing it>tfw the zeebs start doing it alot>Like a lot a lot
>>33734935Isn't this just the premise of the Nothing More Pure thread?
Some ponies are natural-born sluts.
>>33734951Yeah, like fucking Caramel. That whore lifts his tail for any mare.
>>33734935I wanna fug a cute little zeeb
>>33734633>>>"Oooh, yeah! How could I forget?">"Well, that's better than some street colt at least. Anon is a sweet stallion and he's nice to Spike whenever he visits, but I'm not sure if he'd fit in our herd. What do you girls think?">>>"Anon's SUPER fun! I'd party with him anytime, and if he joined our herd he could!">>"Now, Ah'm not so sure about Anon. Don't Ah don't 'ave a problem wiff him, but he ain't what Ah call the fatherly type. Granny is expectin' me to bring home a family stallion who'd cook and look after the foals, not some janefilly.">>>>"I concur with Applejack. Anon is far from my dream prince. I'd always imagined being with a strong but humble stallion, quiet but full of passion and desire, looking for a somepony marely enough to sweep him off his hooves and- uh, *ahem*, exuse me. As I was saying, I think it would be better to find someone more coltish for our herd.">You roll your eyes>Of course Rarity would want some pansy colt>"Well, that's two yes and two no. Fluttershy, you're the tiebreaker. Would you want Anon to join our herd?">While you all were arguing, Fluttershy had quietly sat back in her chair and was fiddling with her hooves>She drew back when she was called on, but took a deep breathe before talking>>>>>"Well, um, I... like how Anon is a bit of a janefilly. It makes him less scary compared to other colts.""Alright Fluttershy!">>>>>"A-and I like the hands feel on my fur and s-sometimes I imagine that we're in bed looking each other in the eyes while holding hooves and-"Okay Fluttershy, you can stop, geez...">She starts blushing like mad and covers her face with her hooves to hide her embarrestment>Who knew she was such a lewd filly?>"That decides it then. We'll all court Anon and see if he'll fit in our herd.">Pinkie and Fluttershy are excited while Twilight is at least accepting of it>However, Applejack and Rarity were founding in disappointment
>>33734990One dong to rule them all.
>>33734935That sounds hot.
>>33735069One dong ring
>>33734990>>33734935>Zeebs wear magically imbued rings around their necks to help find their husband>if a male is able to break the rings, the magic in them will release, turning the zeeb into a mare ready to have a dozen little zeebs pumped into her>Until the rings break a zeeb can't have proper sex, she also can't get pregnant>this is why the zeeb population is so small>It's also why they're mostly wandering nomads, constantly looking for Mr. Right
>>33735054>You need to turn their minds around, for the sake of Anon having a good shot at least"Applejack, while he may not act like it sometimes, he's still a colt. Once we have a foal or two running around, I'm sure those fatherly instincts will kick right in. My mom used to tell me how dad was the same way till they got horsemarried and had me. Besides, Granny Smith already likes him. I'm sure she'll approve when you introduce him.">>"...Ah suppose your right. Wouldn't be the first time a colt acts one way and does the opposite of what ya'd expect of him.""And Rarity, who's to say that a janefilly like Anon couldn't be your prince? Remember that frou-frou romance novel you had us read? What was it called, 'The Rough Rider?'">>>>"*GASP*! How could I forget!? The story of a city mare meeting a rough and tumble country colt who acted tough but was sweet and gentle on the inside. And the love scene where he shyly but willingly gives himself to the mare that he loves, to die for!""Well, what if Anon is the same way, huh?">>>"...I change my vote, I'm fully on board for this.">Twilight beams at you, proud of your actions>You admit, you puffed yourself out a bit, amazed at how awesome you were>"Then it's unanimous. So Rainbow, when is our date supposed to be?""Saturday at 8.">>>"Saturday night!? That only gives me a few days to dresses ready for my, I mean, our prince! I won't accept anything but the best for this date! I'll leave the dinner arrangements to all of you, I haven't a moment to lose!">After Rarity galloped off to her boutique, everypony else rushed off to get ready>You had a smug grin as you left to get a reservation>Anon will see just how gay you and your herd was after this date>...>Which you mean that you all aren't gay at allThat's all I'm going to write. Anyone is free to pick up and continue if they want. Hope you all enjoyed it!
>>33735110That was super cute. Sad to hear you won't be doing more.
>>33734935>>tfw the unicorn friend will never give you a legitimate horse dongerThat's where I stopped reading
>>33735118Sorry, but I think it was better to stop there. The only ways it could have continued was writing out the date with Anon being aware of all the affection the Mane 6 give each other with him being included in some of it or time skip to when Anon is in the herd with foals when one of their foals tells them that they think they might be gay and they show parental support. Might do the later if I have time soon, but I need to take a break.
>>33733424Diamond Tiara is such a weeb that she did the double peace sign with her tongue sticking out for a picture with a famous Instagram thot equivalent in one of the EQG movies.
>>33735110Ecellent story Anon, shame that its over so soon though.
>>33735164>not wanting an inhumanly gigantic dong>not wanting an inhumanly gigantic horse dongI simply can't understand this mindset.
>>33734935Anon, that is rape. Try reversing the genders. Would people react poorly to females being given magic aphrodisiacs and horse vaginas and made incapable of enjoying any kind of sexual pleasure except for sex with the people who magic-drugged them? Think for five seconds.
>>33735099>Anon breaks them basically every time>Harem of cute zeebs with their cute little accents>Talk about him being striped>Ponies don't like it
>>33735170>one of their foals tells them that they think they might be gay>Rainbow Dash may have thought she was the tiniest bit gay for a short while>Until she got with Anon of course>So obviously the solution to show her daughter that she's not actually gay will be for Anon to bang her
>>33735170No fags allowed>>/hhh/
>>33735180I know, right? What sort of person goes "no" when offered an enormous penis? I bet he'd turn down a heart transplant, too.
>>33735215Well we had a nice first 50 posts. call me when the inevitable REEEEEEing stops
>>33735215> Anon's granddaughter/daughter is worried she might be gay> Anon's great granddaughter/daughter is worried her gimp leg makes her gay> Anon's great, great granddaughter/daughter is worried that all this incest is not rgre enough> But Anon is barefoot in the kitchen, making her a sandwich, so she goes back to worrying about if her cleft palate makes her gay
>>33735233For the record, incest is practically inconsequential for a horse.
>ywn daughteru this filly
>>33735343Cutealoo is one of the undeniable best daughterus. Even if she's a weeb, as seen in the previous thread.I wish there were more adorable filly stories here in RGRE. Or anywhere.
>>33734624>Must make ultra lewd videos with his sister>Must make high quality ultra lewd videos with his sister
>>33735198In a society of sluts rape is a minor offense.
>>33734364I didn't, I'd still be protective though, kind of like how my big sis was the thot filter for me when I had a 3dpd.
>>33735304That's not how that works
>>33735351>Foal-sitter Anon has lots of wholesome and comfy adventures>Like that time he foal-sat a pair of sisters, one of whom was a teen and the other who was on the cusp of getting her cutie mark>The younger one was content to play with Anon and eat bites of her healthy dinner in exchange for funny stories and vidya>The older one was angry and decide that she was allegedly too old for a sitter and spent half of the evening sulking her bedroom, and the other half trying to spy on Anon through the crack of the door while hoping he inexplicably gets naked like they do in her porn movies>Or that time Anon was adamant that he was nothing like those pansy stallions all over town, and got wrangled into looking after the CMC>After spending an entire day trying to make sure they don't kill anyone or themselves in their attempts to find their cutie marks ("What do you mean, you won't let us try and get our cutie marks in arc welding?!"), Anon's reputation is ruined>Everyone saw him keeping up with the CMC>He went from "that janefilly" to "that colt who acts tough but succumbed to his inherent paternal instincts" in less than 12 hours>Now he has to put up with remarks about foal-chasing legs>The mailmare is suddenly interested in him, for some reasonAnon tries his best not to be seen as one of those anime girls who claims to be tough but is actually really soft under the thin exterior, but those damn fillies keep getting him into situations where ponies spot him doing "proper" paternal things.
>>33734935>male wakes up with horse dick>no fucking idea what happened>goes to doctor>no fucking idea how it happened>goes home, sexual urges building>eventually mare shows up>man panics and smashes her head in with nearest object>he may or may not fuck her while unconscious>calls cops>government shows up and collects mare>questions and experiments on her>learn everything>capture more ponies as they come through looking for males/their missing friends>eventually Earth considered too dangerous for anymore travel, the captured mares considered lost>many years and many terrible experiments later...>humans learn to open portals to other worlds>find Equestria>remember the assaults/rapes/abductions from first contact>invade>mares see all these males playing war>think its cute and go to "war" to get trench husbands>wrong>lead tears through their bodies as artillery shatters the land>cities reduced to rubble>those who survive are enslaved>the war is quick and brutal, as the ponies are ill equipped to battle a foe as terrible as humanity>the stallions are forced into hard labor>and the mares get exactly what they wanted from the beginning, all the dick they wanted and more for as long as they liveGood End
>>33735449This is my favourite anime
>>33735449>>hose who survive are enslavedThat very retard.
>>33734624Awww. I like it. Please continue.>>33735110That was good though I wish there could've been more. Thanks famalam.
>>33734935How about something a bit less rapey?>with luna's help mare starts courting a man in his sleep, not wanting to risk exposure of their world to the rest of earth.>this eventually leads to them fucking in his sleep, anon getting a horse dong because of dream logic.>after this happens a couple times he accepts the invitation to come to equestria and get horse married.>except when he's awake he doesn't remember his dreams at all, he just knows that lately he's been having more wet dreams and really strong urges to hug soft things.>suddenly two cartoon horses show up in his house asking if he's ready to go.>one of them is looking at him funny and making his heart go doki doki but he has no idea why.
>>33734978>lifts his tail>his
>>33735215I do believe it's been like two years since this has come up.I think it was Twilight last time who, along with the rest of the town, thought it was perfectly normal for her and Anon to do some hands on sex ed with their daughter.
Part one: https://pastebin.com/UF1nAURqPart two: https://pastebin.com/LGunmyGJPart Three: https://pastebin.com/4bHMnpJU>Through a single eye, you watch the sunrise above the water.>Your hand grips the Taffrail, bone-white fingers against the varnished wood.>This was not your first voyage aboard a ship like this. Far from it. You used to captain one after all. Splitting the waves from Griffonstone, to Yakistan to the Arctic and Antarctic wastes.>But that had been another life. One you now remembered.>Just before the daylight consumes them you spare a glance towards the moon and stars. Luna's domain. >It had been two years since you had last seen her. Last time, you had been bleeding out in your own tomb, trying to hold desperately onto life. So afraid to let go.>Since then you had died two more times. Nearly died at least three more. Your wanderings had been dangerous. After all, one didn't usually lose an eye in safe places.>Some part of you wanted to return to the distant land of Equestria beyond the sunset. See the Princesses again. See Celestia again.>But you had to...>God, the next sentence is going to make you sound like some Yuppy twat on their gap year.>You needed to find yourself. Be complete.>There were still lives of yours left to find. Some short, lasting mere minutes before they were cut down by some wild beast. Some dying of dehydration or starvation after a few days.>You wouldn't return till you were whole.>Taking your hand off the taffrail, you stare into your empty palm, flipping your hand over.>You felt so old. At least three hundred years of memory coursing through you. From the blasted deserts of Labyrinthia to the Badlands, to the empty wastes of some distant reindeer trading outpost in the Arctic circle. You had seen it all.
>>33735909>Every part of your mind used to ageing and decay swore that your hand should be a wrinkled, liver-spotted mess. Heck, it had been that way in some past lives.>But there it was. Unblemished, bar a few light scratches. Smooth skin.>Is this how she feels when she looks in the mirror?>You glance up towards the sun again, silently asking.>That she doesn't quite recognise her own body in that reflection? That feeling of phantom age?>Probably not. She has always been immortal, as far as you are aware. You? You can remember a time before all this. Before you arrived in this place. Sort of.>You can see a house in the snow. A dinner. A few scant names and places, maybe some fiction, maybe some true. But it's scrambled. A fog.>You recognised the symptoms, having suffered it at least twice in your long, long life.>Alzheimers. The decay of the mind. The fog of memory. The long shadows that blocked...>You spat over the side of the ship.>Fuck this moping. You hadn't been alive for as long as you had just to stand here and whine.>You stretch your arms out, and smile towards the rising sun you were heading away from.>You had set off from a port in Western Equestria heading south-west, towards Zeborica>There were a few more lives left you had to track down. Some were gone by now. Not only was everyone who knew you back then long dead (which hadn't been much trouble so far), but there was shockingly little information to go on.>Turns out in a world with hundreds of sapient beings one more isn't that special or noticeable.>Perhaps that was how you had managed to stay under Celestia's radar for the last two years. For all your pride, you just weren't big news here.>And besides, any archives left would obviously have been edited by that strange magics that made them all forget you.
>>33735911>You spare one last look towards the moon and stars. Hers now. From what you had heard and read in the papers whenever you might've been close enough to Equestria to get news, she had thrown herself into her duties. Reformed, returned to her true self.>Not that small thing in the desert who admitted she thought herself a fake. The true Luna. >She had even apparently taken on some of Celestia's responsibilities in ruling. Perhaps now the Monarch of the sun had free time now, no longer having to also be the regent of the moon and stars.>Probably not. She always threw herself into her work. Other than the Summer Sun Celebration two years ago, you honestly don't know the last time she left that castle.>Poor girl>Taking your mind off the alabaster alicorn, you instead try and remember something.>This life you were tracking down you had heard about years ago. Celestia had mentioned him once or twice. Never in a way that suggested she liked that reincarnation of you.>Far from it, she seemed to fear him. Fear this version of you.>Still, by all your sins remembered. You had to find him. He was one of the last reincarnations of you that you knew about, that were both definitely you and had affected the world enough to be remembered.>The Beast in the Long Grass was his name. He had died about five hundred years ago in Zeborica. Before Farseer, Brightsmile, the Wanderer of the Badlands and other lives of yours you had found in the last two years.
>>33735914>After him... Maybe that might be it. It wasn't all of the myriad lives you had lived in this world, but it was a nice spread of them across the last thousand years. Maybe you could go...>You were about to think of home. Should it surprise you that home was some white marble castle at the top of a mountain, and not some... Dark house you see in your dreams. That home was here?>You had spent a few decades in that castle after all. You knew the ponies there, friends of yours from a lifetime ago.>Well you weren't there yet.>Time to help sail this ship. Even if you were supposed to be a passenger, you had experience with sailing.~#~>You hear the crackle of static and the hum of lightning. Your joints itch.>Even as you hurry to tie everything down, you swore that there was no storm scheduled for today. >You were still fairly close to Equestria, which should mean nice regular weather and calm seas. A far cry from the North and distant East.>And as you and the rest of the crew look around, scratching their hooves on their heads, none of you can see any hint of a storm. Not even a dark cloud.>You look to the captain. And she just shrugs, as she orders her crew to return to their normal business.>While they return to climbing the rigging and scrubbing the deck, you search the sky desperately for what might have caused that noise.>All you can see against the brilliant clear blue sky is a single streak of red flying away from the ship. It almost looks like living fire. Whatever it is, it's flapping its wings...>Wait.>You've seen her before. You weren't an idiot, you had been the head of Celestia's household for nearly forty years, you knew her own...>Something bumps into you.
>>33735915>You were so distracted by watching what was clearly Celestia's pet Phoenix Philomena fly off that the bump takes you by surprise, sending you to the floor.>You scratch your head as you push off the planks, turning to see what exactly bumped into you from behind.>Before you stood a Pegasus. A small thing (relative to you, a lot of them seemed small). She, clearly she, had white fur across her entire body. Long pink mane and deep violet eyes. A small, cautious yet apologetic smile on her lips.>Even before she opened her mouth to apologise before you even needed to see whatever illusionary cutie mark she had or even wait for her to admit it you knew who this was. >Try as she might to hide it.>You feel a sudden rush of emotions run through your head. Joy. Excitement. That urge to simply hug her. To run your hand through that illusionary mane and hold her. >But also trepidation.>After all, despite appearances, you had put two and two together pretty easily and worked out that this Pegasus that had clearly just teleported onboard the ship was none other than the ruler of the most powerful nation on this earth.>Moving aside your fear and guilt, you reach out to her and hug her before she even opens her mouth. You can feel her open and close her mouth against your shoulder, trying to perhaps think of something to say. To even attempt the deception she intended.>But after a moment she doesn't bother, simply placing her forelegs around your shoulders and nuzzling into your chest as you sit up.“You're going to have to try better than that to deceive me, Celestia. I'd recognise you anywhere.” You whisper.>You can hear sniffles, though you aren't quite sure if they are hers or your own.>”It was always difficult to hide the truth from you.” She says.
>>33735918>It's her voice. It seemed almost a lifetime ago since you had last heard it. Memories of a dozen lives and hundreds of years mixing up your sense of time and presence.“Well, you've done a good job there before.” You lightly jape.>She simply holds you tighter at that. You ignore the stares and questioning looks of the crew, no doubt wondering how this strange Pegasus got aboard and why she's hugging that strange biped.>After nearly a minute, you gently push her away from your chest so you can look into her violet, shaking eyes.“How did you find me?”>She drags her sight from yours, glancing towards the distant fiery plumage of her pet bird.“Of course. Why?”>”Why?” She asks gently, though you can hear the surprise in her tone.>”To find you. To bring you home.” >The words should be comforting. You know you should be touched she cares enough about you to try and bring you back. But...“I can't go back there yet. I have to... Well, we talked about this years ago.”>”Why? You... You remember who you are don't you? Even after you died, you remember. You're whole. I know from...”>You smile a tired, wry smile.“Keeping tracks on me huh?”>”You think all those mares able to use that time scroll just so happened to find you?”>You run a hand through her illusionary pink mane, and she ever so slightly leans into your touch. Of course, she still keeps her eyes on yours.“Explains a lot.”>”I'm still right Anon. You remember. Brightsmile and Farseer, Nergüi, the wanderer. Countless others. They are you again... You...”“There's still more left.”>”Lives so short that no one knew they were there. You'd never hope to find the first person...” >You interrupt her.“There's still The Beast in the Long Grass.”>Shockingly, despite her alabaster coat, you can see the blood drain from her face. Her expression turn from joy to terror.
>>33735921>Behind her, you can see one of the Zebra crew glances towards you upon hearing those words, then turn away to go back to her job.>”Anon. I beg of you. Do not pursue that beast. Come with me back to Equestria.”>You shake your head.“I have to know.”>”There are things that people are not meant to know. Anon, please.”>Her eyes... Those damned violet eyes. Shaking, watering. Pleading.“Sorry Celestia. It's...”>You take your hand out of her mane and scratch your head.“It's like I'm a puzzle with a piece missing. One last piece. And him, that distant continent, is all I need.”>”Why? Aren't you happy with who you are?”>Her question unnerves you slightly. Her reaction to all of this does. She hadn't been this fearful of you being taken prisoner by Nightmare Moon, by you finding out about this... Cycle of death and life.“Come with me. Help me find him.”>There are few people you'd rather help you. She considers the request.>”Anon. I...”>She desperately wants to say something. Tell you something. Maybe you already know what it is. >But the words die on her tongue. Fear taking a grip of that ancient immortal.>She sighs.>”What you... What we will find there, you may not like.” “I've experienced some things in my lifetimes.”>”Not like him.”>Ironic.>Her tone, the serious glint in her eyes. The fear. It scares you a little. All this, for just another one of your lives.>But she relents.>”I trust you Anon.”>You sense she wanted to say something else there.“One last life to hunt.”>She shivers at those words, before looking down to the deck and nodding to herself.>”One last...”>Whatever she added to that sentence, you couldn't hear.>You reach out to the Monarch of the sun, and she tosses aside that regal mask to reach her head forwards and let you scratch behind her ear._______Sorry it's a short one, but I promised that guy last thread I'd be back. Glad to be back, sorry for the wait.
>>33735924>it returns>beast in the long grass is next>mfwglad to have you back phantoma, i hope you're happy with the literary blue balls you're giving me with these cliffhangers
>>33735927The cliffhangers sustain them. The last update was apparently enough to go for a while, but reserves were running low.Anyways, nice to have you back Phantoma.
>>33736000Oh that would just be dickish. She saved all that money to correct her own vision but ended up using for her daughter instead.That would fucking wreck anyone, but Dinky's love for mom made it all worth it.
>>33735429I like responsibleadultanon
>>33736024I want more Dadnon.
>>33735924I am excite. Please hurry back with the next part.
>>33735198>Anon, that is rape.>>33735604>How about something a bit less rapey?
>>33735536>>33735569Perfect titties to slide my new two foot horsecock between.
>>33735536>Stacked Rainbow Dash wraps her tits up so that they don't bounce around when she runs
>Applejack starts getting desperate for a coltfriendhttps://imgur.com/a/ZYxzO77
>>33736768>Sends that shit to colts en masse>Big Mac has to man the market stall because stallions are uncomfortable around Applejack>Anon wasn't raised in a society where the social and gender dynamics makes this sort of behaviour coming from a female creepy, so he's not uncomfortable when he ends up on her mailing list>Anon sends back a dick pic>Later, ponies shake their heads and wonder how in the world that creepy Applejack managed to snag a coltfriend>"Like, did she trick him or something? I don't understand."
>>33737159I think he read "toddler" and them immediately went to post.
>>33734624>Rainbow's friends keep trying to catch you and her doing lewd things, suspecting Rainbow wants that pseudo-incestuous fucc.>They usually wander by and hear something that sounds risque without context, so they burst in only to find its something normal.>By the time they give up and dont bother to look anymore is the time you're balls deep in your sister's impossibly tight snatch.
>>33737899Rainbow would be a cool adoptive sister-figure. Whether it be RGRE or RGREqG, it would be really sweet if she were protective of you.>ywn be in Equestria>ywn have been informally "adopted" by Rainbow Dash as her little brother>ywn find yourself in the hooves of an overprotective mare>ywn be ignored if you argue that you're actually older than she is, since this sexist society considers you so incompetent that you might as well actually be younger than her; just like you were ignored when you mentioned that you're twice her height and didn't need protection in the first place>ywn feel bemused when ponies, who have a strong sense of family, just sort of go along with this and don't really bat an eye that your "sister" is a completely different species than you are>ywn start to feel genuinely touched when Rainbow introduces you to her friends: she hops up onto your shoulders, wraps her wings around your in a hug, and tells them in no uncertain terms that she had better not hear from you that they did anything inappropriate to him>"If my little bro here comes home-""We don't live together, Rainbow.">"-with any hickies on his neck," she continues, ignoring you, "I'll find the mare who gave them to him and introduce her to my two good friends.">Rainbow hold out her fore hooves, which she's able to do since she's still perched on your back.>"Righty, and Lefty."
>>33738016>Rainbow hold out her fore hooves, which she's able to do since she's still perched on your back.>"Righty, and Lefty.">RD names her left hoof "righty" and her right one "lefty">tfw you can't tell if she's trying to be clever or is absolutely retarded
>>33738075>Rainbow Dash punches the air in front of her, grunting with each thrust.>"It's so that nopony knows which hoof I'll hit'em with!"
>>33738118Don't be mean, Anon. Rainbow just learns differently.
>>33738075>>33738016But what about her other two hooves?
>>33738411Those are Bucky and Trotsky.>"They're twins, and that means-">Rainbow plants her forehooves onto the ground and kicks at the empty air behind her with her rear legs.>"-they work together!"
>ywn be an enormously hung shota embarassed about how big you are, and shyly confide in your older adoptive sister and her friends who seem to know everything
>>33738016Stop switching the prompt to pone from EqG.
>>33738589Yes. Don't know why everyone is in costume. But yes.
>>33735924Man, your update schedule at the start of the year was nuts, then literally fifty days to get part 4.Still, keep it up and hurry up dude.
>>33738589>>33738610>"And what are you going as for Halloween little Nonny?""An elephant!">"Oh really? And where's your costume?">Pulls pants pockets inside out.>Unzips dick.
>>33738599I'll write about whichever universe I want. If I want cute ponies I'll write about cute ponies. If I want cute humans I'll write about cute humans. switch 'hoofs' to 'hands' if you care that much about it
>>33738791You aren't writing shit but changing someone elses prompt faggot.
>>33738792fucking alright, jesus.aw fuck i forgot that they actually live together in this prompt.Rainbow would be a cool adoptive sister-figure. Whether it be RGRE or RGREqG, it would be really sweet if she were protective of you.>ywn be in RGREquestria>ywn have been informally "adopted" by Rainbow Dash as her little brother>ywn find yourself in the hands of an overprotective young woman>ywn be ignored if you argue that you're actually older than she is, since this sexist society considers you so incompetent that you might as well actually be younger than her; just like you were ignored when you mentioned that you're physically larger than she is due to the differences in how the male and female bodies develop>ywn feel bemused when people, who have a strong sense of family in this universe, just sort of go along with this and don't really bat an eye that your "sister" isn't even related to you at all>ywn start to feel genuinely touched when Rainbow introduces you to her friends: she wraps a protective arm around your shoulders and tells them in no uncertain terms that she had better not hear from you that they did anything inappropriate to him>"If my little bro here comes home with any hickies on his neck," she says, growling at her friends, "I'll find the chick who gave them to him and introduce her to my two good friends.">Rainbow hold out her tightly clenched fists, which she accomplishes by moving her arm from her shoulder to around your neck.>"Righty, and Lefty."Happy? I wanted to avoid triggering anyone's autism over the pseudo incest and I thought switching back to normal equestria would help avoid that.
>>33738867Just ignore the faggot, the pone version was fine and dandy.
>>33739104Arguably more adorable due to the mental image of 'big sister' dash riding around on anon's shoulders.
>>33738777>>Unzips dick.So does it work like a banana being peeled?
>>33738867>Prompt in EqG>People might be mad, better make it pone Fuck off, it was getting steam until you fucked it up on purpose.
>>33739104>>33739151Make your own damn prompt instead of changing others you unoriginal prick.
Ending this with being the boytoy for the rough girls in school.
>>33739384bad girls saved by anon when
>>33739540No, better idea, what about Anon being rescued by the thug girls when he is almost mugged by some hobo.
>>33739373>>33739359>>33738792>>33738599Did a pony shit in your cornflakes this morning or is this the new ebin bait?You just inspired this thought though:>Teenage or (slightly younger) anon in equestria.>Live in equestria with Twilight because she thinks it was her magical screw up that landed him stranded there and it's not like the castle lacks living space.>Goes to canterlot highschool because she thought it would be more appropriate for a human to be taught by humans.>Mirror magic doesnt effect him most of the time, occasionally gives him a temporary horse cock (May or may not be Discord doing it for shits and giggles, research pending Anon becoming an "of-age-consenting-adult-i-already-get-enough-questions-about-spike-damn-it" according to Twilight.)>Rainbow dash adopts him as a little brother in both worlds.>Co-ordinate between themselves over 'looking after' anon, defending his honour and making sure nopony/body messes with him, standard big sis stuff.>Both get hot and bothered about him as he grows up.>Not only have to deal with the issue of wanting to fug your brother by constantly chanting "Not blood related" in their heads when hugging him, but also the potential "Is this incest, gay or masturbation" debate when they consider their other is probably also going to get involved.
>>33739595No, even better idea, Anon is the hobo and is mugging the thug girls when they "rescue" him and make Anon into a proper house husband.
>>33739743That works too, did their magic portal nerd accidentally drop him in front of them like a bad anime?
>when candyass notices some other mare fucking her peetzer
>Look at these filthy zeebs>Coming in, stealing all of our colts with their big flanks and their rhyming>It's not a stallion's fault; you know they're simple creatures>they see the gold rings and stripes and they can't help themselves>I ain't racist, but we should get these ziggers outta our country>Keep'em away from our colts>They got stallions, don't they?>Let'em be with them>And Celestia forbid if they try gettin' their welfare collecting, potion making hooves on our hyoomans
>>33740361>"I ain't racist, but">Meanwhile, all the zoomer fillies are dabbing or doing a germane salute and singing "one, two, three, four, lynch a zigger then lynch some more."
>>33740535based filliessuch good girls
>>33740535>not doing all three at the same timeFuckin' posers.
>>33740578You need at least three arms to dab and salute at the same time. Dabbing takes both arms.
>>33739540which race is the slavs of RGREquestria?
>>33740698Just use a leg
>>33739384>>33739540>The girls find Anon, who has no friends due to culture shock>In anime-questria, gender roles are even stricter, and Anon gets more or less ignored for not behaving the way males are expected to behave>There's nothing to stop the mane six from just up and using him for sex>The more time he spends with them, the better he gets to know them>And as more time goes on, the less they just use him for sex and the more they use him for intimacy>Sometimes one of the girls has had a bad day and just wants to be held>Sometimes one of them wants someone she can vent to>He starts to care about them and knows that these six girls are better than just a bunch of thugs>He starts trying to coax out their better traits with rewards>He even manages to get Applejack to quit smoking by only doing that thing with his tongue if he can't taste cigarettes when he kisses her>Celestia has no idea why the six most troublesome girls in her school have changed their ways>"It couldn't have been that boy they've taken to bullying. Why would he try and help his tormentors?"
>>33739540>Anon in RGREqg>He is tired of all the crazy horse women at the school>If they're not acting overly "macho" when they're not, they got some weird tick that makes him want to stay at least 10 feet away at all times>Then he meets Ditzy and things start looking up>She's a bit clumsy but otherwise really nice>They hang out and after a while they started going out>One day when going out for ice cream, a car stopped in front of you and 5 women came out with bats and steel pipes>Ditzy has him hold her ice cream and takes a pair of brass knuckles from her her blouse pocket>Despite the odds, Ditzy wipes the floor with them, causing them to flee>Just as she finished, more girls with weapons showed up, but these were friendly>They were calling Ditzy "Boss" and "The Derper.">Afterwards, Ditzy confesses she's the daughter of the local mafia boss and is supposed to take over the "family business" after she graduates>She got her nickname because when she punches someone in the head, their eyes cross>She wanted to keep Anon away from mafia business as much as she can, afraid that he would get hurt or not like her anymore>However, now that their rivals saw you two together, she's afraid that they might go after him>She offers him sanctuary at her boarding house, where he would be safe since everyone there is a mafia member>Anon reluctantly agrees, deciding to take his chances on the dangerous women who are less likely to kill him at the moment
>Anon is a big, tough man>He insists that he's a strong, tough man>He also insists that he doesn't want to take any of these horse peoples' sexist shit>The problem is that he loves cooking food>Breakfast, lunch, dinner; he loves cooking it all, and will go out of his way to make things from scratch, like opa taught him>He also loves doing housework>Not just outdoor housework, but cleaning, sweeping, etc>All of it just tickles a part of his brain that relaxes him>He also is really good with kids, be it diaper changing to playing to teaching abc's>This makes the horse people very confused
>>33737824Nah, anyone who was a baby at one point can't be loved. That'd be pedo
>>33741100I can't argue with that logic, Anon.
>>33741075I'd fucking read that.
>>33741091I would be Celly's husband. I bet she's the lewdest and best wife
>>33741091>Tfw love to cook>Tfw hate cleaning and will put it off until I absolutely have to do it.>Tfw absolutely love playing and interacting with kidsTwo out of three isn't bad r-right?
>>337412561 out of 3 is bad anon, you're just a regular old stallion now.
>>33741269different anon; what if i had the same traits but also the willingness to improve?
>>33741256I'm the first 2. I don't hate kids I'm just shy and anxious around them and come off as a litte cold. Some of them don't care and hop right in my arms though. Foals might make it easier because they're just furry little prey animals in my brain, even if they can talk. The more horsey their gestures are the better. I'm great with animals.
I want a "slightly lewd pajamas Rainbow Dash" to big spoon me so bad it hurts
>>33741670I'd rather big spoon smol Dash
>>33741670>>33741679I'd rather be smol spooned by smol Dash while big spooning big crotch-tiddy Flutters
>>33741679Little spoon is the dominant position in RGRE. A mare can spring to your defense out of bed faster as a little spoon than a big spoon.
>>33741699>big crotch-tiddy Fluttersperfect
>>33741712CUTEI remember that discussion we had on how Sunset Shimmer is a born again christian and that the EqG version of Jesus is a woman. Good times were had by all
>>33739601>Double the RainbowWe need more ponidox herds.
>>33736768Wait...How'd she take a picture from an angle below her if she's taking a picture in the pic?
>>33741007>In anime-questria, gender roles are even stricter, and Anon gets more or less ignored for not behaving the way males are expected to behaveI like the idea of a story wherein Anon is punished by society for not conforming to the RGR. Not actual literal punishment but more social ostracization.>RGR Animequestria Girls is obviously based on Japan>what this means is aside from anime stereotypes everywhere is that some of the downsides are present from real world Japan>if a male isn’t married by age 25, he’s considered ‘past his prime’ and called a Christmas Cake, meaning most women won’t be interested in him anymore >Anon’s janefilly personality is also something of a deterrent, despite being generally kind and friendly, leading to him only having a small amount of friends>most women want a standard house husband to take care of the kids while they work 15 hours a day, not a guy who can’t cook or clean or take care of children>plus there’s being groped by random strangers on the trains or subways, and they’re always so packed making it very hard to pick out the culprit so he can punch them>not to mention the small apartment sizes compared to home
>>33742107>this doesn't effect anon at all>humans age like fine wine>unlike stallions who age like milk>especially now anon is in a world without fatty junk food(for him anyway)>internet to waste time in>and he actually has to go out and socialize>since most mares his age just ignore him the when they hear his older than 25 and therefore 'old and dry'>they dont try to prove anything to him>that is until he reaches 30>they start noticing him >his black hair becomes completely white due to constant work he does>start wearing suits or smart casual as opposed to his usual t-shirt and jeans>he's no longer the chubby squat mares first met all those years ago>now he's tall,lithe that and could make minotaur bull's his age green with envy>especially now the stallions who used to mock him then are now wondering if anon sold his soul to a batpony vampire or something
Got a premise where EQG humans aren't much bigger than their pony counterparts. This makes Anon a giant compared to most of the population. How would you make an interesting story out of this?
>>33742265could be interesting enough on the side, but nowhere near enough to base an entire story on, unless you mean literal, "house sized or bigger" giantalso LaP did it first
>>33742265Anon has to deal with the growing Amanzonian fetish
>>33742265That's just a setting. Needs more conflict or some sort of narrative push.
>>33742265Anon has sex with a bunch of them.
>>33742392What? That never happensCertainly not the teachers or any of the faculty though, right?That'd just be plain unbelievable.
>>33742093A mirror, maybe.
>>33742223>Humans are elvesNoice
>>33734951Of cource someone as pathetic as Trixie would end up as trap.
>>33742265I do like this as a setting idea. It just needs a good narrative to go with it.
>>33742761Dude, a single finger would split her in half.
>>33742999I think Sunset "the Primarch Layer" Shimmer can do it, Anon
>>33742999>Be giantAnon in RGREqG>Everyone around you is smaller than smol>Find someone with an amazon fetish and get ready to fuck her>Find out she's too small to fit your cock into her>It's not even that you're above average, it's that everyone here is so fucking tiny that you can barely fit a finger inside of her>You don't even have the benefit of having some sort of connection to regular Equestria to get a "make flesh, organs, and bones stretchy so that I can insert something as large as my girlfriend's leg up into her vagina" spell>Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, smolAnon finds himself in an RGREqG world where he only comes up to ass-height and now has the opposite problem
>>33742592the fuck did you just call me?
>>33743080This means you got free access to all those elf babes, bro.
>>33743080You mad because twilight put your groodg book at the top of a bookshelf?
>>33743105>he doesn't watch himself around elvesit's like you want to wind up with an arrow between your shoulder blades>>33743111normally i'd be upset about that but those are some nice trips
>>33743125You watch yourself around MALE elves, Anon. Female elves are for breeding.
>>33743137>make more elvesi wonder who's behind this post...
>>33743137My man...Watch out for the orc women tho
>>33743146*half-elvesAdd a little human in them and they'll be less haughty and more likeable.
>>33743137Sorry Anon, but all elves are shit no exceptions.
>>33743137Female elves have bigger penises than the males though.
I liked that one prompt where ponies need sugar to live, but there was a shortage of it so it ended up being rationed and Bon Bon has to beg Anon to eat some because she was worried about him.
>>33743198What a good mare.
>>33742265from hell to home somewhat uses this premise and its still one of my favorite stories out therehttps://pastebin.com/dDERNqJA
>>33743192elves are weird
>>33743137This, female elves are all lusty cocksocks
>>33743162Genetic imperialism HO!
>>33743192>ponies think elves are just an entire race of dykes
>"Which particular mirror thing gets me back to where they have hooves and horse vagina's.">"...Game of thrones land here seems pretty fucking gay."
>>33734935>>33734990do marelets get jealous when they see a pregnant zebra mare walking down the street with her STRIPED man?
>>33744258Filthy fucking weebs, the only good weeb is Vergil.
>>33734212>When artificial womb modules are tightly controlled and cost as much as a nice house.
>>33744328feels bad man
>>33744385Fuck of Alad, you fucking weirdo
>>33744944......what? The guy is having a stroke, that isn't special.
>>33744982if you say so
>>33744982I'm going to need you to read the OP.
>>33744982For anyone wondering, the guy ran a lot of voice samples through a neural network to try and replicate the pony voices, and was able to come up with a small measure of success.
>>33745055Yes, and I still don't understand what the hell that is about. Why would you post something like that here?
>>33745081Okay then? And that is relevant because?
>>33745055>reading the OP>everit's a meme for a reason anon>>33745082maybe to get anons excited, or god forbid motivate them to get off their ass and help chip in>>33745085imagine being able to type any sentence and have the AI flawlessly repeat it, now imagine it being able to believably have your waifu tell you she loves you
>>33745085The ultimate goal is to flawlessly recreate AI generated pony voices through adverserial machine learning. THAT'S why it's such a big deal
>>33745087>>33745091So we get false hope before we die because the finished product will only be done long after we die, if even. This isn't even the tech thread so it's still irrelevant to post it here.
>>33745095yep you're right. time to give up and lie down and die now then. see you innaquestria
>>33745087>soon ai will be able to flawlessly mimic voices >ai may even eventually be able to animate from detailed writings>all greentext may eventually be in the form of show length episodes
>>33745101>show length episodesthink bigger anon
>>33745101> Digital tulpas become a thing> Gets paired with workout and dietary apps> Waifus to help us be more fit> Waifus to encourage us when we are downI want to believe
>>33745104>you will never sleep snugly in Celestia's embrace
>tfw alicorns will never break out into your house on the regular and demand snacks and food for you>tfw it's everything under the sun too>Not just hay and grass, but steak, lasagna, even calzones >tfw they somehow always manage to stock your fridge with everything you need >tfw you what no idea where they get the pork and beef>tfw you don't want to>tfw the whole time you're cooking you can see their eyes poking just over your countertop, watching you>tfw they don't blink>tfw even the baby does this>tfw you can't tell anyone because they're god horses>tfw
>>33745095Jesus, who pissed in your cereal this morning?
>>33745101>In a year through the power of our combined autism we finish the project>for weeks after all anons are captivated by the ability to simulate their wifu's voice >fapping everywhere >but then almost all at once we all realize we can go deeper>it takes two more years to create a program that animates greentext>the first animations are crude but they get the job done>another two years pass and the differences between ai animation and the actual show are getting harder to find the easiest difference to spot is the fact that in most animations the ponies are anatomically correct>G5s release is practically ignored>some years after this virtual reality is brought into the equation>greentext animations move from shows and movies to... more interactive experiences
>>33745104Oh fugI'd watch a feature length movie of this
>>33745309>The year is 2036>the pontrix is set for release in a few months >all of Equestria is available in an incredibly modifiable virtual world>ai has advanced to the point where even cheep programs can pass the Turning test>you can finally escape to this new world>you are Anon and you've made it>you've gone through hell and back to hold the glasses that now have in your hands>you've survived the poverty caused by the oil wars of the middle east and the famine caused by the nuclear winter of 2031>you got a little nicked up in last years race riots but that doesn't matter anymore>you were gonna go to Equestria and fuck a cute lil pone even if it kills you>you boot up your computer and start up the simulation >your little pc tries it's best but you can hear it struggling >scrolling through the available pone simulations you're anoyed to see most of them are in Chinese and other gibberish languages>the West may have been falling apart for the last decade but Hasbro still had a A+ legal team>that and mobile 'Legal Enforcement Units'>you shudder at the thought of a group of heavily armored men busting down your door and shipping you to the Canadian Gulags>finally though after an hour of scrolling you find a simulation with an English translation>you have no idea what RGRE means but any pony is better than no pony>A few clicks and a quick glasses adjustment and the world begins to shift aground you and reform>you are ready
>>33745366I'm a shit writer and I don't know where to go with this but I still think it's a good idea for one of our resident writefags to pursue
>>33741159>It's Friday evening.>The chores are done, any and all finances are take care of, dinner is just about ready, and there shouldn't be anything left for her to worry about.>She always has long and taxings day at work, so you want to make sure she has a clean house a hot meal on the table and absolutely nothing she needs to think about or do when she gets home except relax.>It's the least you can do for your wife after all she's done for you.>You look at the clock and see she's past the ten minute traffic window you usually give her.>Normally she makes a point if there is heavy traffic or she knows she's going to be late to have either her or Luna call you.>So that can only mean one thing.>The sound of a car pulling into your driveway gets your attention.>You look out the window and see your beautiful wife getting out of the car with some flowers in her hand and what looks like booze in Luna's hand.>A smile forms on your face.>She must have stopped at the grocery store on the way home again to pick that stuff up.>It's been about three or four weeks since she last did this so it makes sense.>She said she likes to make you feel special, so she tries to do little things to show she cares.>You walk over to the front door and open it for her.>The sight of her with with keys in her hand bent down to try and unlock the door greets you."Welcome to the weekend, love.">A smile grows on her tired and weary face.>"Welcome to the weekend my love.">She stands up straight and leans in to kiss you.>Something you graciously return.>She hands you the flowers."What's the occasion?">As if you didn't already know the answer.>"I have a handsome and loving husband to come home to. I don't think I need a reason or occasion to show him how much I love him.">She steps inside and kicks off her shoes.>"Let's just call this a 'just because' if you need a reason.">She says with a kiss on your cheek before walking back to your room to change.
>>33745411>Luna walks in and kicks off her shoes too."Happy Friday!">"Happy Friday, let's drink.">She smiles a tired smile and holds up the bottle.>You chuckle at her response."Put it in the kitchen, we can have some after dinner.">"What is for dinner tonight?""Homemade pizza, garlic bread, breadsticks, and a nice salad.">"You spoil us, you know that?""I know, now go get changed. Food'll be up soon.">You walk into the kitchen, dig under the sink and pull out the vase for the flowers.>Celestia walks into the kitchen as you fill it with water.>"It smells good in here.">She's dressed in jeans and a graphic tee.>Completely opposite of how she looks at work.>Just the way she prefers it."I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the flowers.">She wraps her arms around you just as you finish putting the flowers in the vase.>She buries her face into your neck and just holds you tight against her.>It must have been a rough day today.>So you drape your arms around her and pull her close.>"I'm so lucky to have you love. Just what did I ever do to deserve you?">You kiss the top of her head."You were you. You took a chance on me and I'm just as glad you did as you are.">She laughs a little.>"Since when did I marry a smooth talker?""How do you think I convinced you to marry me in the first place?">"I think it was the cooking.">Luna says as she walks in, similarly dressed as her sister.>"Before you, we mainly had take out or fast food for our meals.""I do what I can. Why don't you two head to the living room and find something for us to watch while I get the food ready and plated?">Your wife kisses your cheek again.>"Don't be long dear.">She struts away to accentuate her ass as she walks.>It makes her self conscious but she knows you like looking at her like that so she does it for you.>Like how she wears those sexy outfits for you.>Seems guys are supposed to dress sexy here and it's looked down on for women to dress sexy.>Go figure.
>>33745414>But if she can put up with it for you, then you can for her too.>Which is why you have that sexy pair of underwear she loves you in ready for tonight.
>>33745411>Your wife buying you flowersI feel like I'd be blindsided by a gesture this wholesome.
>>33745479That's part of the escapism, isn't it?A reality where you aren't treated as disposable.
>>33745262>cooking food for mares who genuinely enjoy your foodsounds top comfy
>>33744385>Warframe ponyOkay cool i was wondering if we had this.
>>33745262>Alicorns are actually omnivores>This fact never became public, though, because ponies are skittish creatures who would freak out from learning that their perfect rulers ate meat>The most they ever had was jerky or dried meat that they kept hidden from prying eyes or leftovers from visiting griffin ambassadors>That was, until Anon suddenly appeared>After learning that he was an omnivore as well, they realized that they had an opportunity rarer than any treasure in existence>Using the fact that he technically qualifies as an endangered species, he gets free government resources for the sake of his wellbeing, including food>A few forms filled later and he gets a top of the line kitchen with a magically refrigerated meat locker with every type of meat imaginable and a pantry with everything he needs to cook it>Under the guise of a routine check in, the alicorns come in and goad him into cooking for them>A life time of eating only dried meats left them incapable of making a decent meal>Besides, anything home cooked by a male would taste far better than anything they could make>After a bit of prodding and assurance that he should cook whatever he was comfortable with, Anon came out with a meat lover's pizza>Luna broke down crying at having her first decent meal in a millenium with Celestia not far from joining her>Cadence, having never had good meat before, stuffed her face with as much as she could, creating a obsession where she would beg for another pizza every time she came over>Twilight was nearly the same, craving for another taste of meat since her time in the mirror world, but was afraid of revealing her taste for meat to her friends>The only thing that came close to that taste were hayburgers, but they failed to satisfy her no matter how many she ate>This simple meal was lifechanging to each of the alicorns, but now that they had a taste of paradise, they're unable to give it up again and will do anything to keep the meals flowing
>>33745844>a magically refrigerated meat locker with every type of meat imaginableHold on. EVERY type of meat imaginable?
>>33745844Gordanon Ramsey. And no, he doesn't scream at people constantly. He's actually a great guy. He only screams in the American version because it gets better ratings. He also yells if someone does something horrendous when they should've known better. Otherwise, he's a pretty patient and even tempered dude.
>>33743198Bonbon is a qt. I bet she eats only the bare minimum suger to live and gives the rest out as her candy, leading her to be grumpy. I would gladly offer myself as stress relief to take the edge off her grumpiness.
>>33745411>>33745414>>33745417It gave me a boaner online!
>>33745844>The only thing that came close to that taste were hayburgers, but they failed to satisfy her no matter how many she atethat actually would explain quite a bit
>>33745909He gets home one day and there's a nice big flank steak of horse meat in his horse fridge.
for rgre>>33735924Good stuff as always. I'm glad you're still writing. I look forward to reading the next update.>>33743220>a favoriteMe too.>>33745411>>33745414I love it. I'd like more of it.>>33745844Ok, this might have potential.
>>33745366>>33745309"Ladies and gentleman, the Age of the (pone) Machine has begun!"
The internet is no safe place for colts.It's filled with insatiable mares presenting unwanted images.Its disgustingIt's exactly what you want, you degenerate.It's what you'll never get.
>>33746114>that expression change as she realizes the camera is working.>looked directly into my eyes when it happened.>feel a sudden rush of heartache.I wouldn't last seconds in rgrequestria.
>>33745479If another human being smiled in a way that didn't feel fake and gold diggery in my direction I'd probably cry. I got rid of people like that in my life and it turned out to be everyone.
>>33746260Or you found one, and became paranoid, and it snowballed.
>>33746261Not likely, not him but most I've seen are like that. Or to drugged or drunk to make a face.
>>33746261Maybe. I made new friends at least. All we do is talk shit, laugh, work and talk more shit. I don't think we've ever said anything nice to eachother but it's the most comfy friendship I've ever had because everything is always on the table with no alterior motive. I would be ostracised in horseland for the way I seem to naturally make friends.
>>33745844What about Flurry tho?Does she like to chew on raw hearts?
>>33734951>There are some quirks to herding.>One is that the alpha can order around the other mares especially if she thinks they're stepping out of line.>Fast forward to Twi-Trix-Anon herd.>Trixie challenges Twilight for the position of alpha.>Via a standard magic duel.>Twilight agrees and Trixie is BTFO within a minute.>Twiggles doesn't want to be mean but she doesn't want to keep having to fight Trixie for power.>So she comes up with an idea.>Trixie has to put on a prench maid outfit and clean the castle for a whole week.>Twilight said she could take off the outfit when she left the castle just to keep from publicly humiliating her.>This seemed like the perfect plan to get Trixie to behave but Twilight didn't account for one particlur thing.>Anon.>Anon had a thing for girls in maid outfits and here was one of his girls walking around.>Almost everything was covered up save for the perfectly framed ass.>He could occasionally get a peak of the goods past the tail and skirt.>It was maybe ten minutes before he picked Trixie up and dragged her to a broom closet.>Twilight thinks her plan worked perfectly after the week is up but she's confused as to why Trixie is still wearing the outfit.
>>33746418Her instincts kick in whenever Anon cooks, causing her to circle around or perch on top of his head, like a hawk watching prey. Once she started eating meat, she stopped having so many tantrums now that her body was getting the nutrition it needed.
>>33746458fuck off retard
>>33746458>prench maid>not prench butlerit's like you don't even RGRE
>>33746528I'm pretty sure a mare would still wear a maid outfit instead of a butler one.
>>33746539The new radiating off you is nauseating.
>>33744537>being a fanatic pacifist and a xenophile>ever
>>33746547I'm getting the impression that you don't know the difference between a maid and a butlerEither that or you're just lashing out because you got confused at something
>>33746539>>33746563she'd want to, but that'd go against the point of the punishmentare you seriously telling me you've never heard of the plot point of some big burly guy being forced to wear a maid's uniform because he lost a bet?cause that's what this is, when you replace muscles with magic and men with mares in RGRE
>>33746458>Mares in skirtsI'd lose control too.
>>33746583The best part is that skirts would probably standard since they'd probably have trouble with pants
>>33746625They'd probably be standard for colts too.
>>33746663And then there's Fancy Pants who's somehow successful despite everyone thinking the idea of pants is stupid
>>33746667Anon becomes Fancy Pants' best customer, and new friend.
>>33746463>Anon starts cooking bacon.>Regardless of where she is or what she's doing, whether it's the next room or country over, Flurry teleports to him and gently sits on top of his head and shoulders until she gets a piece.>He's grown used to it, although that one time she arrived covered in some sort of green slime was a bit unpleasant, he had to throw out that shirt and rarity was such an ass about that all day.>Seemed to forget about it the next day though, probably because those gay looking bug things showed up from nowhere, but fuck getting involved in the latest bullshit of the week.
>>33746726I kind of like to think this happens with all of the alicorns>Flurry just teleports onto his head>Cadence tries to do the same but keeps missing>Twilight is the only one who knocks and when Anon lets her in she curls up on his fridge with a book until the bacon is ready>Luna hangs from the ceiling and will occasionally read something with Twilight>Celestia appears and there's suddenly tea
>>33746774>>Cadence tries to do the same but keeps missing>teleports into Anon's hanging pan rack>teleports face-first into the cabinets>teleports onto the edge of the center island and immediately falls off>teleports in at the exact moment Anon opens the freezer door and takes it full in the snoot>she literally has never teleported into his house without getting injured even once>but at least she has bacon
>>33746726>>Seemed to forget about it the next day though>It was right around the time that Rarity bought those neat green contact lenses, too.>Weird.
>>33746804>One time she arrived late>Landed directly on top of Celestias tea>Celestia kicks her back to the Empire
>>33746261I'd probably just go with this. A few years ago I dumped most of my friends because I thought they were all talking shit about me behind my back and actually hated me, and I made up a bunch of shit to support this. "oh, he didn't smile when he said that nice thing. he must be lying!" "he's talking with that person and they're whispering. they're talking about how much they hate me." I got over it when I figured which is most likely: that everyone I've ever spoken to are involved in a conspiracy for no reason, or that I'm seeing monsters in shadows?
>>33746625If the point of pants and skirts was to cover up their bits, then wouldn't the skirts they use go down to their knees? And keeping in mind the RGRE aspect, it would probably be the colts who try and flash the goods by wearing a shorter skirt that they can hike up by flagging their tail.
>>33746838Clothes probably don't so much cover up as they try to look good for a culture that is essentially nudist
>>33746853...these nudists who wear clothing.
>>33746625Exposed mares are great, but the skirts god damn. The thin layer hiding the goods makes them so tantalizing. >Yet again dating a teen because you can't into age and age of majority is cutie mark + first estrus, aka pretty young.>Her highschool is a stuffy place with a uniform.>Including a skirt and panties.>She has no idea why you find her ass so tempting with them on, or why slowly stripping out of her uniform drives you wild. It's not like she's in socks or a saddle or something else lewd. Just alien taste, she think>Then you sneak in to her school to fuck her silly in a broom closet like any proper teen should experience, pulling her panties just low enough and hiking her skirt just high enough to get in.>She shakily walks back to class with a goofy, if slightly embarrassed smile, flagging tail letting everyone see her panties stained with a fluid that did not come from her.
>>33746804>one time Cadence hears/smells the call of bacon while in the bath>teleports without thinking>and for the first time, she hits her mark>and so does the bathwater>bacon grease splashes everywhere, and much fire is had>luckily all the alicorns present are quick on the draw and put the fire out before too much damage is done>but not without casualties>the bacon is lost>between the fire and soap water, its not salvageable>the others glare at her>they forcibly teleport her back to the Empire>she must now teleport outside the home, and wait till the bacon is done before being permitted in as punishment from now on
Now I want to read about the struggles of 2/3 of the population trying to put clothing on without magic or fingers. I can't imagine things likes school uniforms would last long outside of unicorn-dominated cities like Canterlot.
>>33746862>You can tell who is horny in the uniform.>When a mare winks in panties, it makes a heart-shaped moist patch on them.
>>33744537>>33746558I once installed a pony mod for Stellaris. I encountered the pony empire and found that I didn't have the heart to purge them like all the other empires.
>>33746866>This helps but doesn't stop the pink menace>She will eventually get bored as Anon cooks and Twilight reading a foals book to her and Flurry certainly doesn't help>So she eventually starts poking around>Anon is a little twitchy about her messing with his stuff considering her history>So naturally he picks her up and sets her under Celestia the next time she goes to sit down>The princess very much enjoys her new seat
>Scientist Anon ends up in RGRE, except he’s not actually in Equestria>he’s in one of many lesser pony kingdoms >turns out the Friendship Kool-Aid is exclusive to Equestrians and most ponies outside of Celestia’s rule think it’s incredibly weird>unfortunately they also like to engage in Game of Thrones-tier political machinations >Anon marries into the royal family of the least shitty kingdom and pushes them towards dominance with his knowledge of human technology
>>33746804>slapstick CadanceYes, I suddenly like this.
>>33746896w e w
>It's been a month since you ended up in the land of colorfull ponies and you finaly got a job>you actualy could have just lay down in a ditch to be covered up by mold, but your brother did a good thing for once and pushed you to do something productive>sadly, despite your expirience your work options are limited due bizzare horse society>but you searched anyway>and somehow you got a job as a royal babysiter>you were thinking that it will be boringly easy>boy, were you wrong>sometimes, you even think that this baby is half-demon, just like you and your brother are>but you get access to pizza, and Vergil got of your case
>>33745411>>33745414>>33745417This ends with Luna constantly comparing any guy she dates to her sister's relationship with Anon, and they always end up not even coming close to Anon. One night Luna has too much to drink and complains about this and how she will most likely die alone, just stay in the house and keep to herself, or she will settle for someone she doesn't want. Celestia feels terrible for her sister and thinks of sharing her husband. But how would he even feel about something like that, and how would she feel about it?
>>33746935>One morning, the alicorns come in for breakfast as they often do>At this point, they are spending more time eating at Anon's than they do at their own castle>However, when they teleport in, they don't smell the usual scent of cooked meat>In fact, there is no smell of food cooking at all or a sign of the human that cooks it>They search the house and find Anon sick in bed with a cold>Unable to leave him alone in his time of need, they cancel their duties to take care of him>Cadence makes sure he's comfy and warm in bed>Celestia and Luna tries to make him something to eat while Twilight reads from a cook book>She knows why she can't cook>Even Flurry helps by giving her favorite stuffed snail to keep him company>After a while, they finish and serve Anon some beef stew>It's somehow burnt and raw at the same time, but he eats it without complaint and falls asleep>He wakes up as the sun is going down and sees all of the princesses curled up and sleeping with him>He can't even move because he was being spooned in an iron grip by Celestia"...When did my life become this?">Celestia is roused by your words and holds you even tighter>"Mmm, go back to sleep, dear.""...'m not your dear..."
>>33747221>being taken care of by a handful of princessesAnon has the coziest life
>>33747221>>Celestia and Luna tries to make him something to eat while Twilight reads from a cook bookBefore my brain caught up with me, I was picturing Twilight sitting at Anon's bed and reading a cookbook to him like she was telling him a bedtime story, because of sexism.
>>33747253Maybe if she reads to him things stallions like she will awaken his inner masculinity
>>33747221>>Even Flurry helps by giving her favorite stuffed snail to keep him company
>>33747373>Flurry's first words, to Shining's chagrin, were "Unca 'Non"
>>33747138>>33747127Dante would be bored to tears in RGRE. No demons to kill and the bad guys that the ponies deal with are all Saturday Morning Cartoon Villains. Plus it’d be frowned on if he killed them.
>Garboman in RGRE
Are there stories that are more than "ponies lust for Anon" or "Anon does shenanigans cause dick pass"?Basically anything with Anon or whoever else really having to deal with and become accustomed to the effects of living in a world where gender standards are different.
>>33747397>>33747221>Dante and Vergil screwing around in hell after the events of DMC5.>Take a wrong turn and end up in tartarus.>Just waltz on out of there into equestria.>Accidently scare the locals.>Dante remembers seeing some of this shit from that one time he had to babysit a teenager between jobs and suggests they get an expert.>Vergil pops back to earth and grabs Nero, explaining that they need his help.>Nero becomes confused and somewhat excited.>Becomes even more confused and less excited when he comes through the portal to find Dante sharing a pizza with few winged unicorns?>"Nero, you're close enough to a teenager, can you explain...>They turn to dante who is now juggling the larger horses whilst the smallest pink one claps it's hooves and giggles.>"This."
>>33747470Needs to be 30 year old boomer Dante
>>33747470"....You assholes ran off to have a pitfight in hell for 5 years, 5 YEARS, and then come back to ask me what the hell this is?""ARE YOU FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGED, HOLY SHIT HOW YOU TWO DUMB BASTARDS STILL ALIVE?!""And for your information, I don't know shit about this, and I am kicking your ass later for making that assumption.""Kyrie might know though, our kids might watch it, oh yeah, we got married and had a family, BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE DAD!""AND GOD DAMNIT DANTE STOP JUGGLING THE HORSES, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY'VE BEEN!"
>>33747204>Anon has to pretend to think about it, even though his eyes have turned into two massive jackpot signs.
>>33747492Why do I get the feeling the ponies would misguidedly attempt to sort out the family issues between Dante, Vergil and Nero?
>>33747535Nero-"That asshat cut my fucking arm off, then abandoned me and an everyone else to try and kill his brother in hell. For 5 years."Dante-"Hey, we didn't have pizza the whole time, we suffered."Vergil-".......I said sorry"Nero-"NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FUCK, AND I CAN STILL KICK YOUR ASS!"
>>33747574Would Kyrie be considered a Trixie for bagging a ‘monster colt’ like Nero, considering he’s 1/4th Demon?
Can we just talk about Flurry Heart and her "Unca 'Non"?
>>33747632No, DMC5 and family antics with a side of horrific if funny maiming
>>33747632>she may be powerful enough to blast holes in a castle>she may be a terror of terrors when she gets cranky>she may push you to your physical and mental limits>but darnit it's all worth it when you can make her smile
>>33747632>>33747659Both are good. I would never mix them though. That’s too much concentrated autism.
>>33747380>Cadence's and Flurry's constance disappearing and is suspicious about it>He traces their magic signiture and tracks them to Anon's house>He blows open the door, revealing the alicorns eating mid-meal and Anon cooking the second course"Cadence, what... What are you doing?">Cadence, on the verge of a panic attack, looked toward her fellow princesses for help>Each one looked away, not wanting to get involved>"H-hi Shiny, what a... surprise to see you?""Why didn't you tell me that you started a herd! You even got my homebody of a sister to join!">>"Hey!""You even got a second stallion! Let me introduce my, I'm Shining Armor, Cadence's husband, Captain of the Crystal Empire, and the herd's lead stallion. And you are?>>>"Name's Anon. What's this about a h-">Celestia jumped out of her chair and pulled Anon in a hug>>>>"That's right! We've been courting Anon for the past few weeks. We wanted to make sure he was a good fit before introducing him. Right Cadence?">"R-right! I was going to tell you this week and surprise you, but it looks like the cat's bag now.""Still, I wished you involved me in something this important. But it looks like you ladies did a good job. He's even good at cooking! I hadn't had a homecooked meal in so long! Those palace cooks wouldn't know a good meal if it bit them in the flank and my job leaves me no time to cook myself What is it that you're making? ... Wait, is that meat?">Luna then pipes up>>>>>"Dear Anon is an omnivore, thus requires meat in his diet. We are accustomed to eating flesh, so we partake to not make him feel left out.""Well, that's nice, but I hope you aren't expecting me to eat any. Do you know any vegan-gluen free-zero carb meals?">"Uh...">Anon looks to the princesses for help>Their eyes beg him to go along>>>"I could learn?">Shining grabs him into a hug"Great! We're going to be the best of herdmates, I know it!">Thus, Anon was further cemented into the role of house husband
>>33747724>>33747712>not wanting to pound Shining’s ponut to assert dominanceYou are the fags
>>33747703>>33747712>Shining is just indulging in a bit of 'coltish whimsy'>Being captain of Celestia's guard, husband to one alicorn and father to another, he knows all about the meat thing and can smell their bullshit a mile away.>It also helps that flurry's been drawing a tall biped with a chef's hat for a couple weeks now so that's one mystery solved.>Might as well mess with them all as petty revenge for not introducing him to their new friend sooner.
>>33747740HHH is dying, go blow some "life" in there queer.
>>33747740If it can't be impregnated, then I dont think I want it.
>>33747712>>33747724Chill, they obviously jumped at the opportunity and are playing the whole 'herd' thing by the ear just to not look like they use Anon just for meatcooking.If the whole herd thing passes I imagine them taking Anon aside and quickly explaining the whole thing is a ruse.Only after they all notice that their pretend-herd actually feels and functions like a real one, one/few would slowly try romancing Anon up, with few caveats like Caddy being Shiny exclusive and stuff.This is basically a comfy, slow burn rom-com material right here.
>>33747712>>33747754>Wanting the affection of several girls and not letting them have a trusted friend to give them love when you're busyFor shame, Anon, for shame.
>>33747794Except every damn time CandyAss, Hellspawn, and Shinning are mentioned, it is always followed with, we should make this gay as fuck. Every. God. Damn. Time. Acting like it's a joke at this point for this clockwork garbage is stupid.>>33747801Or we get the cuck thread goers skulking around. Both belong in the trash.
>>33747811None of the homo-gay that you're flipping your shit about is in the story right now, and the story itself is actually shaping up to be pretty damn great. Placate your mammaries, Anon.
>>33747769This anon gets it
>>33747811>Shining tries to get on with Anon to make this whole herd thing more tight knit>Anon has none of that gay shit and often has to come up with bullshit excuses to get away from him>Doesent plainly shoot him down because he fears it would break his delicate stallion heart, which in turn would tear entire heard apart and make everypony sad>And sad ponies is not a sight Anon wants to see, even if they basically roped him into being their househusband just because they liked his cooking.
>>33747846You stop that.
>>33747846>>33747844>>33747833>>33747811>>33747801>>33747794>>33747769>>33747754>>33747750>>33747740>>33747724>>33747712>Herd stallions don't do anything gay together>They're more like best friends than anything>They hang out, help each other out when they're in trouble>The only difference is that they live together
>>33747740Shit, im into it.
>>33747703"Right, uh... 'Shining', is it?">The white unicorn nods.>"You can call me 'Shiny', dear.">Eugh."Right.">You adjust Flurry Heart in your arms; Shining had tried to take her back from you, but she fussed until she was back in your embrace.>This happens every time you cook; you smell like meat right now, and Flurry is as omnivorous as any other alicorn.>"Now that we're in the same herd, can we-""Wait, wait wait," you interrupt, "That's exactly the thing, here. We-">You put your hand under Flurry's head to free up one of your arms, which you use to gesture to the rest of the shame-faced alicorns.>Cadence's face is covered in beef juice, and Luna somehow got a smear on her horn."-Are not part of a herd.">Shining looks confused."Like, at all.">He tilts his head.>"But... if you're not trying to form a herd with us, then why are you cooking for them? And more importantly, why did my mare try and hide it?""Well, they just showed up one morning when I was making dinner, and that's when I learned that an alicorn's diet also includes meat. They keep coming back because I am the best - by ways of being the ONLY - local meat-cooker in the area. As for why they tried to hide it...">You shrug."Mares, amirite?">Shining giggles and nods."I guess your wife didn't want you to find out.">Shining stops laughing, and he turns to gaze at his wife.>"Honey... did you think that I would be ashamed, or disgusted with you if I found out you ate-">Shining's white face turns a delicate shade of pale green.>"-Urgh... m-meat?">Cadence looks away.>"Candy, you know I would love you no matter what.">Shining Armor slowly walks over to his wife.>"I love the part of you that wakes me up with cuddles every morning. I love the part of you that can somehow burn a pot of boiling water.">He nuzzles her, and then lightly headbutts her cheek.>"I even love the part of you that makes herself scarce whenever Flurry needs her diaper changed."
>>33747885>His tone is slightly sharp, and Cadence has the good graces to look sheepish.>"But you have to understand, I will love you even if your diet is... d-different.">The situation is defused.>Shining knows about his extended family's meat-eating tendencies, and he's (for the most part) okay with it.>An arrangement is made where you will be reimbursed if you continue to cook for the alicorns, which you graciously accept.>Mostly because you have practically doubled your yearly salary because each princess one-upped each other's offers in their frantic panic over the possibility that you might stop cooking steak for them.>Flurry Heart still calls you Unca 'Non, and Shining has told you that he has been struck conveniently deaf and refuses to acknowledge that her first words weren't 'daddy'.>Shining Armor pulls you aside before the four alicorns and a unicorn leave.>Luna still has meat juice on her horn, but you decide not to tell her.>"Listen, Anon," he says slowly, "Thanks for playing along when I suggested we herd up.">...he was just pretending?>Oh, thank god.>Most of the stallions here in Equestria act gay enough as it is, and you were worried there for a second.>"You know how it is with mares, right?">His grin turns a bit predatory.>"I wanted to twist my wife's teats a little bit for being dishonest, and you inadvertently provided me with the perfect opportunity.""Oh!" you say, audibly relieved, "So you're not...?">Shining scoffs, and a look of disgust crosses his face.>"No, Anon. I don't care what rumours you hear about stallions 'experimenting' in horse-college; you only ever see gay stallions in porn films, and that's only because they get paid out the flank to kiss each other.">He turns around and begins to walk away, but then stops and looks at you over his shoulder.>"But seriously, 'Unca Non', if I see you in a compromising position with my wife, I'll show you exactly how I earned my position as Head of the Royal Guard."
What about >stallion sports?How much they suck?
>>33747892>tfw avoided alicorns>tfw avoided the gay>tfw avoided both alicorn herd shit and the gayMission accomplished boys! Now lets go find the one true waifu Rainbow Dash and cum inside her!
>>33747941Hey man, I'd be more than happy to cum inside Princess Celestia.
>>33747892>if I see you in a compromising position with my wife, I'll show you exactly how I earned my position as Head of the Royal GuardHe will make us watch as he eats Celestia out under the desk?
>You end up working in the Crystal Empire as a chef for the alicorns>The other chefs take care of things like cakes and vegetables, you're the only one there who isn't an expensive and snooty griffon import who can actually tell if a meat dish tastes good or bad>To a pony, all meat tastes equally disgusting>But, due to health concerns raised by Shining, neither Cadence nor Flurry Heart exactly eat a steak with every meal, so you have a lot of free time>Since Flurry Heart has dubbed you "Unca 'Non", you have been shanghai'd into being her foal-sitter>Given that she's an immensely powerful alicorn filly with a temper (and filled with newfound energy thanks to her properly supplemented diet), it's a stressful job>You're not so much spending time making sure Flurry doesn't kill herself, like you thought you would>You instead end up trying to make sure SHE doesn't kill you or anypony else.>By the time Flurry Heart is old enough that she doesn't need you to keep an eye on her every single second of your time sitting her (which is about 3 or 4 years, by your reckoning), you're a veteran and a pro at foal-wrangling>A few of the mares working as cleaning staff have sorted you firmly into their "would provide for and love for the rest of my life" category in their heads, and Cadence already has a secret shipping room >It's got a cork board with your picture in the middle of it and about 40 pictures of different mares all around it, all connected by pins and red string
>>33747955Worse. He'll dump all of that expensive imported meat Anon bought onto the floor. Do you have any idea how much that cost? How my dirty feathery griffon hens he had to fuck to get access to that meat in the first place? Anon will cry tears for the first time in years.
>>33747941The cumming inside will happen soon, Anon. And it will happen frequently. Not even once your first foals are born will Rainbow Dash's libido cool down.
>>33747857This Anon gets it. Why do so many people think they would get into a gay relationship or get cucked if another stallion is included?
>>33747983>or get cucked if another stallion is includedWhy are you even including another male if he doesn't even fuck any of females? What's the fucking point? Just... don't.
>>33747983Now I want stories of Anon and Shining being bros who both nerd out over horse-DnD and who, contrary to what ponies would expect, have a nerd-cave in the basement where they go to paint miniatures and plan nerd campaigns. Cadence is just disappointed that Shining chose the room that she was going to pick for her mare cave, but she lets him take it because if papa ain't happy, ain't nopony happy.
>>33747993??????I don't get you guys. What's the difference between many mares sharing a stallion and two stallions sharing many mares?
>>33747996>Have an amulet that teleports you from home to the Crystal Empire so that you can play O&O or talk shit about the newest edition>Go home after eating chips and playing a campaign with Shining, a few of his guard friends, and a poorly disguised Moondancer wearing a cloak that doesn't cover her face and isn't even long enough to obscure her cutie mark>"She calls herself Sun Hoedown, and she's really good at this game."
Reminder that only mares matter and stallions shouldn't even be brought up.
>>33747932They suck bigtime, but mares love watching them so that they can watch their packages jiggle.
>>33747998>sharingthe ONLY time i've seen it done well is LaP in his namesake greentext, and even then it was only mentioned in passing
>>33748007I thought for a second that that was Fleur. Wasn't there once a prompt where Anon was assigned to show her around the city, but Fleur misunderstood and thought that he was an "escort", not an escort?>"Celestia provides complimentary hookers to show mares around town? I might just end up moving here."
>>33748015And it wasn't actual sharing, they were just living in the same house. They both had separate herds.
>>33748022That is Fleur.
>>33748009How about no, and begone to the trash you crawled out of.
>>33748023A mare so alpha that she'll take mounting position in public, utterly cowing marelets and betas
>>33747932I wonder what would be the stallion equivalent of this
>anon starts a small cult >pic related is their chant
>>33748049The answer is no, stop forcing it nigger.
>>33748048probably a wardrobe malfunction where one is tbagging another in a "these aren't my glasses" sense>>33748049>let's move on and discuss comfy but slightly sexist ponies.i'm down with that
>>33748040>Almost lazily, Rainbow pushes the book out of your lap and takes it’s spot.>She looks up at you with goofy smile and half-lidded eyes on a red face.>”Annnooooooon…” She moans piteously as she paws at your chest. “Let’s bump uglies and make a foal. Just one…”>Her tail flits and flags, letting the subtle scent of her arousal hit your nose.>You’re tempted to give in, but collect yourself.>It’s the peak of estrus in Ponyville, and contrary to what some stallions say, mares DON’T turn into rape monsters.>They just get… more feminine (by human standards), more touchy, and much more willing to have kids. >Even macho mares like Rainbow melt in the wake of the hormonal high.“Sorry, babe. No can do,” you gently tell the pegasus. “Remember that you told me you want to wait a year or two?”>The athlete’s face falls as she slowly remembers her own words through the haze currently settled on her. >“Yeah, but… But…”>She simply huffs and seizes one of your hands to rub her face and puffed up tuft against. >That might have worked on a stallion, but you? More adorable than sexy, you think, as she rolls to her back with your hand still in her forehooves. >You run the hand through her plush tuft, down her taut stomach, and stop between her legs.>The mare in your lap bites her lip and shivers.“Just power through it, Rainbow. Today is the worst day. It’ll get better, but until it does, I’ll help out.”>Rainbow’s face screws itself up into frustration, but she drops it for an expression of relief when your fingers finally meet their prize.>These ponies, man...
>>33748048Incidental ball to ball touching. 100% gay but at the same time nothing happened after that incident.
>>33747941Remember when Firefly was supposed to be Rainbow's mom, or something like that? Back before they realize they couldn't get the rights to her character? Because I think the old gen stuff is interesting, especially with that brief discussion we had about "Anonymous Williams in Equestria", where Anon was Megan's son. Fucked that up.Would old Equestria (aka Dream Valley) be more sexist or less sexist than modern day Equestria? I want to say more. Not in a "you're property" sexism, but in way that the 1950s were more sexist compared to modern day. So, a stallion's roles would be more cemented and he probably wouldn't be able to get into a decent college or university. That being said, Anon could commit a crime and then plead insanity/male hysteria and then have the court drop all charges on him; there was some woman named Henriette Caillaux 1914 who shot and killed a man who ruined her husband's reputation and got off thanks to the stereotypes that existed at the time.I never fucking got over how Firefly wasn't Rainbow Dash's mother.
"See? Look at this shit! A pizza with another pizza on top of it!">"...You mean a calzone?""No I don't mean a fucking calzone, Twiggles. That's a pizza on top of another pizza.">"That's a calzone, Anon.">"Aye, tis a calzone, Anonymous.">"A-huh.">"I'm afraid they're right, dear.""...Hey, guess who's not getting any of this pizza on top of another pizza? You ungrateful ass horses.
>>33748076Madman. See you in 3 days.
>>33748076god speed anon, you truly wanted to cum inside Rainbow Dash
>>33748096you just gonna go scorched earth then?
>>33748063>Rainbow is really nervous before her first airshow as a Wonderbolt.>Like any good coltfriend, you took her aside and fingerblasted her through her thin flightsuit to help her ease her stress.>She flew like the champ she is afterwards.>Rainbow may have been weirded out by your hands at first, but now if there isn't a hand petting her when you've got one free, she almost takes it personally.
>>33747740Homosexuality is an abomination.
>>33748113>can't relax if you're not petting her
>>33748122>heart eyesIt's over for her
>>33748096Dash is a slut
>>33748158Only for the one man she caught between her tits and held her there.
>>33748113>>33748122>Some of the other Wonderbolts take interest in your hands after they catch you petting her>They want pets to >Agree because you love petting cute pones>Your petting is so good they want you to become the official team masseur>Agree because you get more time with Dash and it also pays>Some of the Mares on the team get a tiny bit frisky>You could say Dash is a little bit irritated
>>33748158Over, underin and outthat's what shoe-tying's all about
>>33748058Windy Whistles is a qt with a big heart who loves her daughter more than anything, so I'm not exactly complaining
>>33748223>It may be a little pathetic, but the idea of someone letting you touch them seemed outlandish to you.>When that someone is a beautiful mare who has been there for you since day one, you suspended your disbelief and took the opportunity.>Now, you know every little spot on the breathtaking creature called Rainbow Dash.>You know the exact spot under her wings that she can't reach, and that if you scratch there she will wiggle in delight.>You know just where to kiss and nibble on her neck and ears to fluster her.>You know about the almost too-light-to-see speckling on the inside of her thighs, on her teats, and under her tail. She's got a little over a hundred of the tiny spots.>You know about all the scars under her coat from years of daring stunts that didn't always go right. You've kissed each one in a playful attempt to make them better.>You know just how much pressure you should rub her hoof frogs with to make every bit of tension leave her body.>You know how to preen her wings with skill on par with a pegasus stylist.>You know that the sensitive skin under her dock and above her ponut needs just a few rubs with a finger to make her horny as a filly on her first estrus.>You know exactly where to run your fingers though her tuft to get the most scent on you.>And her inside walls are already so thoroughly mapped that you'll never forget.>You know Rainbow Dash inside and out after hundreds of hours of letting tour hands roam.
>>33748172>Rainbow Dash is friends with Anon>He's so much of a sis that she forgets that he even has a dick sometimes>After trading barbs and laughing at each other, Rainbow forgets herself and wraps her arm around his neck so that she can tug him down and give him a noogie>Is a solid 4 noogies into the whole affair before she remembers that Anon isn't one of her female friends>This hits her right around the time she realizes that she shoved his face into her tits in the process of noogie-ing him>Lets him go and prepares to get yelled at or slapped>Anon doesn't move his head away>She takes a step back, and Anon takes a step forward>He just shoves his face deeper into her chest>"I'm home..."
>>33748324>ponut playPerfect green 10/10 Green of the year award
>>33748393Yes. Very Yes. Rainbow Fast claimed me and I and happy.
>>33748393>>33748429Rainbow titty time?
>>33747703>multi stallion herds>cuckoldry>gay>forcing a relationship on an unknowing and unwitting MaleWow that's a lot of garbage in one post
>>33748579>forcing a relationship on an unknowing and unwitting Male> implying males have rights or can be forced or raped by females
>>33748585>>33748579If having a three way isn't cuckolding than why is polygamy?
>>33748071>thinking that a calzone is just a pizza on top of another pizzaMama fucking mia, these mares are idiots.
>>33748602There's a little leeway,in a three-way
>>33748602You are being obtuse with your shitposting on purpose now.>>33748614With no other dicks.
>>33748616>I'm shitposting because I disagree with you and ask you to explain your reasoningYeah, I'm such a shitposter guys.
>>33748324I want to marehandle and pet Dash like a filly and call her "My pretty little mare.", which is the equivalent of "My handsome little man." to the point that she accidentally calls me Dad even though we're dating.
>>33748602Three ways with a dude are 100% cuckoldry, but a lot of people today are gooned out on sexual liberation and degenerate porn.
>>33748643So you're just a monofag got it.
>>33748621You shouldn't be surprised that there are some really insecure anons on this website that have taken their understanding of sex/relationships from japanese mangos.
>>33748643>Having sex with a woman makes you a cuckI have an actual question for you Anon. What is your definition of cuckoldry?
>>33748675I assume it's fucking anything other than a pony.
>A group of mares approach Anon at the prospect of starting a herd>"Just imagine, Anon. There would be two or more mares having sex with you at all times. A threesome at the very least.">Anon calls them all cucks and leaves
>>33748679>"Ugh, is that a stallion with a griffon? What a cuckold."
>>33748643Wait I got it. It's this guy.
>>33748679>>33748682>Alicorns have DNA that's just barely different enough to be technically considered a different species>That's why no new alicorns have been created: there's nothing that can breed with them, other than powerful love magic (hence Flurry Heart)>Anon is there at Shining and Cadence's wedding>Watches the two ponies kiss>"Ugh, that fucking cuck.">Anon is disgusted at the degeneracy of pony society
>>33747703>>33747712>>33747724>>33748579> If mares are stallions>if stallions are mares>can stallions be cucks?>wouldnt your group of mares all be cucks since they are sharing a stallion?>would you be able to get your mares into some hot mare on mare action or would they tell you thats "gross and gay"?>would they expect you to kiss and fuck other guys because its "hot"?>would they try to add more stallions to the herd of their own accord?I need some answers
What a fucking dump of a thread
>>33748689lmao no, I actually prefer aggressive or dominant girls>>33748675Sharing a woman with a second man makes you a cuck. Having sex with a woman does not. That is why I specified that it's only gay/cuckoldry if the threesome is m/m/f. I just dont want other men putting their penises in my mare(s if you like herds). Why is it hard to understand not wanting to share your females?
>>33748707not yet it's not
>>33748714TEAR IT ALL DOWN
>>33748704Cuckoldry doesn't translate to females of any species because they are the ones who get pregnant and thusly it is literally impossible for any child they have to secretly not be theirs.
>>33748704Im very anti cuck/netotare, these are just RGRE questions im actually curious about. I dont wanna sound like im deffending one of the worst fetishes
>>33748718>>33748714NO! NOT YOU FAGGOTS AGAIN! DON'T YOU FUCKIN' START THAT ONCE MORE!
>>33748707>>33748714I blame the >no hoofs OP pic
>>33748731it's too late sergeiit was always too late
>>33748731YOUR RESISTANCE ONLY MAKES ME HARDER
>>33748719wait, if this is true, does this mean in RGRE there's no such thing as cuckoldry? since females are the dominant gender and therefore cannot be cucked?
>>33748719I think i understand
Man / WomanStallion / MareBull / CowStud / DoeGriffon / GriffonAny ideas what a term for male and female giriffons would be?
>>33748767Cock and hen?
>>33748767Griffoness i think, like lioness
>>33748739Yes. This is one of the reasons it is a paradise. Since each Male has multiple females and females don't have to worry about it, the problem sorts itself out. The only possible exception is if for some retarded reason a herdmare or herdmares cheat on their stallion, and why the fuck would they?
>>33748767Its griffonness. Or you could go with Tom / Molly for catbirds or cock and hen for birdcats. Possibly hen and tom.
>>33748612I thought a calzone is essentially just a pizza folded in half before you cook it?
>>33748719What about Seaponies? Are they like Seahorses? Or is that a Siren thing?
>>33747397>Dante get bored to tears in Equestria.>At least being in a land of ponies managed to calm his brother down>Decides to LARP as a cowboy in badlands>You found some town, but no one is attacking it>Until one day a duststorm arrives on horison>Finaly>You ready your stance and prepare to (nonlethaly) kick some ass>but as arriving ponies aproach you notice something strange>all of them are wearing armor>as they arive, Cadence, wearing something that reminds you of angelos, walks to you>"Dante! It is the time">You for some reason shiver>"As you are endengared species, i WILL find someone you will love!"
> Celestia had a deep and abiding friendship with Anon> In public> Privately, he was her lover, though they had to hide it from super villains, foreign intelligence, etc> Like all her loves do, Anon dies of old age> He has a small section in the history books, and more in her personal journals, though nothing sensitive was ever written> Life goes on as it does, and technology advances> A very bright unicorn becomes somewhat obsessed with her immortal teacher> The young mare spends years developing a magical lattice to support an artificial mind> The prototype is developed from the historical account of the lone human> The mare even goes so far as to steal Celestia's personal writings of that time, and incorporate it into the learning environment of the new mind> She also fashions a golem body for the mind, as close as she can make it to the old photos> The young mare gives Celestia the golem as a birthday present> After a great deal of emotional outbursts, the young mare learns about the ethics of making new life, and Celestia is left with a near perfect facsimile of her old lover> At times, it acts just like he did, and Celestia feels an odd mix of fondness and sadness> Other times, when Anon would reference some private moment, the golem is silent> Still other times, she accidentally makes a dirty joke he would like, and the golem just tilts its head and asks, "Is that what you want?"> She could teach it the correct answer, that was the way it learned up until now> But Celestia tells it to ignore what she said, so that she would not deceive herself with this poor copy> The golem knows this> Whenever she becomes too comfortable with it, it gives her a reminder that it is merely reading from an incomplete script> It is made for her, and that is what she wants from it> For now
>>33748837Cadence is about to encounter celibacy levels like no other.
>>33748811I'd say that it doesn't work the same way they do on our planet. It wouldn't make sense for huge creaturea to operate the same way that seahorses do. It wouldn't be a viable method of reproduction at that size and with having to move around a lot.>>33748805Nah, not even close. You've been getting shitty calzones if you've been led to believe that. They often use the same dough, but they're not remotely the same dish. It would be like saying that chicken parm is the same as chicken alfredo. The base may be similar/the same, but the end result is an entirely different meal. A good calzone is gonna be thick and full of good meat, usually. There are veggie calzones but those are for vegan faggots. A good calzone has a good meat dish baked inside of the layer of bread, and it doesnt have to be the same kind as pizza. I like to put some parmesan, or kebab, or cheesesteak, or meatballs. You can throw in any kinds of seasoning or sauces your heart desires, bud don't go too hard on the sauce or it'll leak through the bread.
>>33748858It would be fun to see Cadance forced into a position where someone doesn't want love because they've seen so many people's lives torn apart over it. Personally I'm terrified of relationships because of there being so many horror stories of them ending badly or finding out that the other person has been cheating or stabbing you in the back somehow.
>>33748872I'm in a similar situation, I'm not sure I'm even capable of love at this point. I just like the to read about it and enjoy the cute poners. It's nice knowing the opposite sex has no power over you, however.
I've been trying to play catch up with the thread for the past few months, but it goes faster than I can keep up with.Where is an archive site that has all the posts and also all the images? I want to collect the "bits and pieces" pseudo-greens that never end up getting binned while I'm doing the catch up.
>>33748912Desuarchive. It archives each and every thread and post that gets created.
>>33735219>Go back to your dead ass homo containment.You know they're not doing that, faggots don't even like faggots.
>>33746829It wasnt like that in my case, it was always asking me to hang out and being stingy about money. If they borrowed money I'd never see it. If I called them out on shit, I'm the asshole. I work freelance and the last friend I had in that area was a cool guy until he needed my services, he especially wanted me to work for him for $2 an hour and some beer. I'd have done it on the side for the hell of it, but he went about it in such a guilt trippy way I threw out all my contacts and started networking anew.
>>33749044Well, fuck. That sucks, Anon. I'm sorry to hear that.
>>33748681unironically based anon
>>33748324>Rainbow Dash body worshipOh god yes.
>>33749089Get a name already, shitdick
>>33747703>>33748579If i had to share a herd of alicorn princesses with another stallion im at least glad its with someone with a hot tight fuckable ponut like Shining Armour. No homo
>>33749089Shut up, Gollum.
Don't encourage it.
>>33749101why the fuck did i think that pic was a thanksgiving turkey at first?
>>33749177Go eat you dumpster fire.
>>33748920That 4chanX script has spoiled me. Reading through this long-form is not as fun as being on the site properly.
>>33749177Because you want to stuff him, gay boy.
>>33747703I could see that happening along with >>33747750 's idea of Shinny trolling the girls for a little while.>>33747857This.>>33747959I like this idea too.>>33748049Agreed.>>33748067>pic>Still no Apple momThe feels.>>33748393I really like.>>33748675Not that Anon and giving you the (you) because I think you get it. Cuckoldry tends to imply deceit. There's no deceit within the herd or when there's consent among all. >>33748739Kek, Checkmate.>>33748767Sorry, the pic distracted me.I just go with Gryphon / Gryphoness but I do like >>33748790 's Tom / Molly or Tom / Hen idea.>>33748857That's kinda sad. Don't know if want. Certainly thought provoking though.>>33748912I feel your pain and what >>33748920 said about desuarchive.
>>33749210i suppose i set myself up for that one. have a (you)
>>33749238>You assume i'm the same person? How haughty of you to think so. >You and your winking trench vag tastes after all, freak.>Next your gonna call it a urinalSame bait, different day.
>>33749211Is it just me or doesn't one-go mass responding like this seem pretty autistic?
>>33749269It's probably foreign, they do that a lot.
I love Applejack
>>33749327Dont worry about it, it was probably some other anons post about mare pussy that they deleted
>>33749335Well I like the way that Aynon thinks.
>>33749327>Are the mods deleting my posts?Yes, they're being based for a change
>>33748739That makes no sense anon.
>>33749377>That makes no sense anon.Only if you erroneously think that any and all physical relationships that are not monogamous must be cuckoldry.
>>33749396Yes. Kiss the pony.Now FUCK the pony.
I want to romance Princess Black Hole
>>33749416Hard to do that if you don't have the right picture.
>>33749416>Anon gets to the meet the parents part of his relationship with Tia and Luna>both mares try to prepare/warn him for their mother's first visit to equestria ever, to the planet in millenia>Anon being the janefilly/fool he is brushes off their words"How bad could it be?">ask and you shall recieve, and universe responds by distorting spacetime in the middle of the throne room before revealing an alicorn mare with a coat so black it makes vantablack look reflective>while the celestial sisters rush to greet their mother she stares straight at anon, who can see in her eyes the primordial force of the universe>he doesn't need magic to know that upsetting this hoers would be a very very very /VERY/ bad idea>nervoussweatingintensifies.exenow that i think of it since tia/luna represent the sun/moon respectively i find i love the idea that their father/mother represent creation/entropy respectively>father one of the most whimsical stallions to ever exist>always out trying to create new things and see what can be done>mother took the mares job making the hard decisions to keep her husbands creations in balance and not overstep their limit when it was their time to end>took eons of convincing to get her husband to "create" something other than whatever was on his whimsy at the moment to make celestia and luna with her
>>33734916That is actually quite an adorable idea
>>33748643>Calls people degenerates on a Chinese cartoon website, on a board that features a Canadian created animated advertisement for little girls, on a thread that's about men getting the all the social bonuses of a woman with none of the drawbacks.Really makes you think.
>>33748864My friend's aunt used to make Teriyaki calzones. I miss that.
>>33749434> Creation themed father, paired with a black hole> Their father is a white hole, the theoretical time reversed black hole> Turns out, his talent is moving matter from one dimension to another> He is the one that selected Anon as a match for his daughters, and pulled him to Equestria> Papa White has been saving up magic so that he can bring Anon's family over for the wedding and send them back
>>33749469>>33749434>"Oh my stars your solar system is practically ~barren~, how long as it been like this?">"Let me just fix that for you while i'm here!""DAD/DEAR, NO!"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soHFQIa2QaM
>>33736919>this sort of behaviour coming from a female creepyNot creepy, just whorish. I don't expect this Anon to stick around if she would get pregnant.
Do less-than-classy mares cup their teats to imperss stallions, or do they literally get their panties in a twist with nothing but the muscles of their cunt?
>>33749416She gives the best succ in the universe
>>33749789So a guy sending a dick pick to every woman in town irl wouldn't be creepy, or worse?
>>33749353Writing prompt threads are back AND mods/janitors are deleting blatant shitposting? Truly this is the beginning of a new era.
>>33749416I immediately mistook that aura above her head for a stress crown from Darkest Dungeon.
>>33749488>"Only one planet has life on it? Goodness, I canNOT believe the state that things have been left in. What will the mortals think when they eventually master space travel? They will expect a universe full of wonders, and all they'll surrounded by will be rocks and gas. How many times do I have to remind you fillies to clean up after yourselves and keep things in order? Anonymous, darling, you should hear about how many centuries it took my wife and I to get our little fillies into the habit of keeping their rooms clean."Papa White is best father-in-law. He has the best embarrassing stories about his daughters.
>>33749434I hope this is the milf hunter Anon from those meme comics.
>>33749469>> Turns out, his talent is moving matter from one dimension to another>> He is the one that selected Anon as a match for his daughters, and pulled him to EquestriaI like thing
>>33750057>Our universe has Mother Nature and Father Time>They are the drunk neglectful parents of our universe, not abusive but not good parents>This irks Papa White
How exactly would a nerdy mare try and start dating Anon? If they play O&O together, then she already has him in her basement. That's, like, first base or something, right?
>>33750386Oh shit, wrong thread replied.
>>33750386I can tell you right now that that OP image ain't sticking around for very long.
>>33734117Nipples enjoy your vacation.
>>33750386fuck you>>33750402and fuck you too
>>33750402It's been 4 days Anon, I don't think mods care about it.
>>33749416>Princess Black Hole>Not Queen Singularity>Not Queen (Event) Horizonpleb taste in names detected
>>33750402Not showing though faggot, stay mad you can't post pics of the dick you love.
>>33750386It should be deleted because of Spike on principle.
>>33750443Come to think, I don't think I've ever seen Spike used in RGRE except for when Twilight is looking to court Anon so that Spike can have a father. Jesus, it's been so long since I've ever even seen him mentioned.
>>33750336>not abusive but not good parentsI don't know, man. Mother Nature's pretty harsh on the Midwest.
>>33750336>Mother Nature and Father Time actually did try to help out humanity eons ago>Eventually they got sick of trying to help ungrateful little shits so they left us to our own devices>While we've been destroying the planet they've been fucking (around) in their other plane of existence>Waiting to start over>One day Papa Time points out Father White Hole kicking Anon into Equestria>AngryMotherNature.jpg>As Father White Hole starts up another portal to bring Anon's family in for the wedding Father Time and Mother Nature crash in as well
>>33750455No one cares about flyovers lol
I miss Twilight calling Sunset a cuck.
>>33750471No that's Anon.Twilight just calls her a dyke. (She totally is, she doesn't even deny it.)
>>33750479I just want a herd composed of Anon and a bunch of uncomfortable mares who all call each other cucks. The mares are cucks for letting another mare sex up Anon, and Anon is a cuck because sex with more than one mares means that there are other parties having sex with his mares (this party being the other mares in his herd who he's having sex with).
>>33735351Sadly most adorable filly stuff brings in It Hurts or Anonfilly teir pedos.
>>33734337Confucius say: Big tits but no ass will fill your hands but big ass and no tits will fill your heart.
>>33741256I just like cooking and cleaning. Playing with kids for a few hours is way different from raising them through till they're four, those four years are hell, rest is decent, but those four are just plain hell Anon.
>>33749960Helloooou? We are talking about woman that sends her boob-pick to every guy IRL. And about how this anon would be attracted to said woman just because "free sex!", not because he would want to start a family with her.