[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Settings Home
/mlp/ - Pony

Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.

Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 266, and these are some serious trix!
1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20580492/
50 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27404496
141 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27463354
142 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27517724
143 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27582821
144 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27651717
145 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27704420
146 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27763205
147 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27830268
148 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27896537
149 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27955074
150 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28017167
151 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28064187
152 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28127177
153 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28180968
154 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28243103
155 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28293360
156 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28341301
157 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28386655
158 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28430382
159 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28472625
160 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28516835
161 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28560027
162 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28606503
163 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28650085
164 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28699834
165 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28747378
166 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28791420
167 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28818925
168 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28856603
169 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28902515
170 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28949840
171 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28987322
172 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29025369
173 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29070987
173.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29108189
174 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29185553
176 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29235097
177 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29275841
178 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29308797
179 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29363056
180 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29409666
181 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29458805
182 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29495094
183 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29537691
184 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29577819
185 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29624525
186 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29659061
187 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29704614
188 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29740822
189 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29770759
190 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29807604
191 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29835770
192 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29860144
193 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29907314
194 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29945615
195 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29996931
196 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30044917
197 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30098131
198 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30146913
199 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30195152
200 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30229782
201 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30297271
202 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30351950
203 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30405690
204 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30477858
205 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30540414
206 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30589167
207 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30647809
208 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30699465
209 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30743232
210 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30784833
211 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30819169
212 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30860383
213 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30901177
214 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30948296
215 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31007107
216 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31053140
217 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31112202
218 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31160018
219 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31206172
220 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31250755
221 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31291166
222 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31326925
223 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31367434
224 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31407308
225 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31449267
226 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31491406
227 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31537310
228 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31600895
229 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31657564
230 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31706730
231 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31740234
232 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31780099
233 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31826352
234 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31878991
235 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31923774
236 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31970729
237 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32022074
238 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32065671
239 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32118255
240 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32181040
241 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32231002
242 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32256013
243 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32290156
244 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32335470
245 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32375036
246 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32411791
247 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32451490
248 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32499993
249 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32552008
250 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32614181
251 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32737031
252 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32737031
253 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32794784
254 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32853748
255 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32913388
256 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32964741
257 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33022323
258 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33083874
259 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33149801 .2/33156564 .3/33168653 .4/3188914 .5/33198757
260 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33258632 .2/33297592
261 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33360094
262 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33418983
263 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33490999
264 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33540673
264 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33564610

Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here: >>33564610

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and stuff used in these stories!
Check it out here:

Confused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here:

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for Sunset, who’s Waifu was stolen by tall dragon horse bitches
First formsecy hooves!
First for more wholesome TwiSpi
Wrote so fast and still fell short, that’s disappointing
File: Pinkie.png (33 KB, 141x199)
33 KB
Pinkie previews!

>Spike has a mission now and needs the good stuff!
>Celestia doesn’t wanna raise the sun she’s sleepy!
>Cadence is worried about the bed being set on fire, or is she?
>Twilight needs to be found or else someone’s gonna get it!
>Cloudchaser is worried about getting it too, in the wrong place!
>Cheerilee wonders if the other dimension has different textbooks! \
>Whoa now, why is Sweetie Belle wearing that?
>plenty of bed fanservice!
Jesus fuck I know that’s a cropped image but it’s nightmare incarnate
So you think Salt turned her down last thread because he wasn’t interested, or because there was no fun in the chase?

>Tia? Gotta question.


>You can pretend to be asleep, Ah’ don’t care. Ah’ just gotta know, it’s keepin’ me up at night.


>Does the rain fall back into the pond when the pegasi are done with it, refilling what they took up with them and repairing what they did, or do they just sap the world pond and lake by pond and lake until nothing is left? Are the pegasi taking everything up with them and destroying it all?


>It don’t make sense, cause there’s several tons of water in every stormcloud. Ah’ looked it up, tons! Why’re they usin’ so much water? What’s it for? Do they need to drink more than us? Does flying make them dehydrated? It don’t make sense!


>And iffin’ it comes back down, is it their waste? Does the water come back, but now its all poo and pee and horsesweat water? Are we suckin’ up the natural stuff and puttin’ down poowater? It don’t make no sense! None of this makes sense! If anyone else saw all the water goin’ up like that, they’d think we were bein’ invaded, but they do this all the time! It just don’t make no sense! NO! SENSE!


>It’s probably all yer fault-Ow! No kickin’!

To be fair horse droppings are amazing fertilizer
I just think he has other, much more evil plans in store
I don’t think that has the same affect in water
“Doughnut Joe”

>JOE! I want, no, I need coffee! Lots and lots of coffee! I need to be awake and work my little tail off, coffee!

“SHHHH! Dude!”

>…oh, right-

“Meet me around back in ten minutes. Bring untraceable gems or bits.”

>…wait what.

“I’ll hook you up drake, just keep it down. I got the stuff.”

Damn. I can't believe Salt is going to rape Fizzle.
You can’t rape the willing no matter what he says
I knew there was a black market for this!
You should be stabbed for that pun

>You got the goods?

“Oh, hey, you do have a trenchcoat. Rarity hypothesized about that. Are you actually a secret agent too?”

>They don’t let drug dealers be secret agents.

“Do you…. Do you push something besides coffee?”

>Nah. That stuff’s bad for business.

“Then isn’t calling yourself a drug dealer a little much?

>I’m selling a psychoactive stimulant out of the back of an alleyway, what would you like me to call myself?


>You got the money or not?

“I do.”

>Good. You never saw me, I never saw you, if you rat me out and next time you eat at my place, I’ll slip a rat turd in with your sprinkles.

“That’s it?”

>I’m a drug dealer, not like… a bad pony.

“…Our world is very weird.”
Could be worse...

>Lesson one of not breaking shit begins! Any questions!

“I thought we weren’t burning things?”

>You got one question and you ruined it. Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy? You opened your mouth for the first time in months and fucked it all up. What is wrong with you? Were you dropped? Aren’t you ashamed of what you are and what you’ve done with yourself, your life, and all your worth? This is what I’m looking at, a big fluffy dumbass who said the stupidest thing that popped into their head. I’m ashamed of you. I’m ashamed for you. Everything about you makes me want to punch my own gut on the offchance that something so stupid could ever come out of me. This here? This is why abortion was invented. You. It was for you. Our one chance to prove its worth, and we blew it… we ruined it all.


The kirin breaks down crying.

>See? If you’re sad, you’re not angry! Problem solved!


>Now onto lesson two, any questions?


>You’re learning!

Chitania! Crusher of souls!

>You think alternate me is important?

“No, she’s a weathermare. Remember? Alterjack told us this? She’s a weathermare.”

>So, yeah, probably a big star.

“Weathermare. She’s a weathermare.”

>Probably got lots of money and prestige and captain of the wonderbolts…

“Weeeatherrrrrr mareeeee.”

>P-probably… probably does cool things all the time….


>Probably is so…c-c-c-ooooolll….

“Oh darling, of course she is! Because you’re awesome, any Dash of any universe must be awesome, right?”


“There there…”
She and Coco need to have a drill Sargent off.

Double points because one is trying to make them not angry
>Coco is so terrifying even Chitty flinches
>Chitty can’t handle the snugglebantz
Last thread made me realize, doe Sunny even talk to the others anymore?
“Sweet Note”

“Soooo, whatch’a makin’?”

>Portal stuff.

“That fun?”

>It’s a portal.

“Portals are fun. I played a game with portals, it was fun.”

>Good for you.

“We should play a game with portals.”

>I’m making a real one.

“Real games are more fun than videogames anyway!”


“So lets play a real game with portals.”

>Okay, lets see how fast I can make one do what I want.





“I think I was wrong about real being more fun.”


>So what else is different about your world?

“Well, our Pinkie Pie for one.”

>What’cha mean?

“Oh, nothing, and don’t look over your shoulder.”


“I said don’t.”


“Don’t look.. she knows.”

>Ah’m afraid.

“Then it’s already too late.”

>I could set the bed on fire.

“Chrysalis! No! No burning our friends!”

>Their fault for being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.


>Come on, it would be hot.

“That’s the problem! No using magic to set the bed on fire!”


“No using matches or anything else like that either!”




“You meant-“

>I meant the other thing, yes.


>I’ll prove it.

“…maybe later.”

>Wait what

Caddy is giving in to the lewd jokes, all is lost
Speaking of, what's she up to?



>You know, honestly, the snoring doesn’t bother me at all...


>But I will never, ever get used to you sleeping with one eye open.


>Can you see me?... do you know?


>... does she see forever?


“Raise the sun.”


“Raise the dang sun.”




“Ah’m not doin it, you do it!”

>Nuh uhhhhh.


>Nughhhhhh. Sleepy.

“Ya’ got SO MUCH more sleep than Ah’ did, ya’ got no excuse, now raise the fiddlefaddlin horntootin’ SUN! RAISE IT RAISE IT RAISE IT!”


Slowly, sunshine fills the room.



“That was you, right?”

>Chitty has had enough
Huh, I could actually see her doing that.
It all falls down
Thanks for the cover!
>Soon, very soon now, Caddy will be raunchy as a sailor

And still never have sex
What's consoler lady and the changelings up to?

>What's that?

"It's Apple Bloom."

>That ain't possible. AH'M Applebloom!

~It's Apple Bloom, too.~

>Like Applejack Two?"


~Like, you're Applebloom, but it's Apple Bloom as well.~

>Oohh! But that's a little confusing, ain't it? How's anyone supposed to tell us apart if we got the same name?

"Good point. Any ideas, Scootaloo?"

~We eat the Apple Bloom. No need to tell them apart if there's only one.~

"A bit extreme, but reasonable."

>Which Applebloom are y'all talkin' about? Ah need to know before Ah label y'all traitors to the creed.

~The one we can eat.~

"Yeah. We can eat Apple Bloom, but we can't eat Applebloom."

>Y'all know cannibals are a thing, right? Ya ain't exactly narrowin' this down.

"Should we just take a bite?

~Yes. I hunger and must feed.~

>Scootaloo, no! Ah'm savin' myself for a giant golden grizzly bear!

The orange filly ignores her mock pleas and leans towards the sapling they stumbled upon, her mouth poised to take a bite out of its flowers.



~What the hay?!~

>It just shot up like a snake!

"And now it's running away!"

~After it! I HUNGER!~
>That ending

Don't eat the chaos!

>Okay everyone, we've got a visitor coming from a whooooole other world later, isn't that exciting?

"I'm pretty sure we're dead in that world, so-"

>Yes it is! So we're going to make a gooooood first impression, right?

"How good are we talking?"

>Let's practice our cheering hellos! On three, everyone cheer! One two three-


>I can't hear you!


>Give it your alllllll!




>We'll work on it! Good job everyone, juiceboxes for all!

"""""""FUCKYEAH JUICE BOXES!""""""""""

>...I better be getting paid for this.

>Okay, what did we walk in on?

The two ponies shook the last of the sleep from their eyes so they could more clearly see the utter absurdity in front of them.

“I believe it’s called…”

Specifically, the giant pile snoring away in the middle of a giant rug in the Empire’s study.

“A fuckpile.”


“Look at them! Look!”

Cadence, Forty Two, Eighteen, Spitfire and even Chrysalis were in that giant pile, softly snoring away and tangled all over each other.

“Tell me that could be anything more than a fuckpile! A fucked up pile!”

>I don’t think that word is what you think it is.

“Look at it!”

>I’m looking, I don’t know what I’m seeing but I’m looking.

“Just use your Pinkie Powers and get Cadence off the top.”

>Doesn’t Tabubblebutt have something for that?

“Yes, of course.”

A pause.

“Well? What are you waiting for?”


The pink pony walked over to the nearest pool table, picked up a pool stick, walked back, and with one quick shot knocked Cadence off the pile.


The others resumed the pile curling, albeit with a noticeable gap in it.

“Good job, you get a cookie.”

The rocket launcher flung a cookie into the waiting ponies mouth.

~Why… why does it have-~

“We’re the ones asking the questions here!”

>Yef! First off, where’sh Shineh?


She looked into the gap in the pile, where juuuuust a little bit of white was visible at the bottom.

“…is he dead?”

~I really hope not, that would be a huge inconvenience.~
Did that feel like a LNPP moment to anyone else?
No yeah that was all Lnop silly

>You woke me up from the hugpile-

‘Incorrect term alert!’

>-that I was enjoying because you want to know how I rate videogames?

“Yes! It’s completely contradictory and seemingly flipflopping without any strain of consistency across the board!”

‘You denied Hearts On Higher but kept Eye of the Liar? The fuck mare! The fuck!’

“The only thing we’ve gotten consistently is no rape!”

‘That’s not a big deal, rape is not a theology, but an act! You can take out rape and change nothing else! Rape is not that big a deal!’

“She didn’t mean it like that!”

‘I did not mean it like that!’

“So spill! What’s the secret to getting the sticker!?”

>No rape.



>Well, okay, that’s not the only thing I laid down to my ghostwriters and approval committee. The other thing was they had to feel a feeling of love when they played it!


>Well yeah, when did you think I would find time to play four to sixteen hour portions of multiple games to approve or deny them? I have an entire wing dedicated to approval or denial! I’m a very hooves off mare with it though, videogames are weird if they’re not in my magicroom. Honestly I don’t know how anyone plays those big bulky cabinets anyway, I just walk in my room and do whatever I want. I played love-love-lovers panic yesterday! It was great!



>What? Don’t you play yours in the castle?



>You two are silly.
Magic murder room is strangely underutilized

“Show us this committee! We must get to the bottom of these strange ratings!”

>I can’t, I’m entertaining a guest. My husband from another dimension who’s not married to me in that other dimension meaning he’s not my husband from another dimension but just an other dimension version of that pony I do sometimes. All I know about him is he’s tall.

‘That’s all Shiny said?’

>Oh no, he said a lot, it just got kind of confusing and long winded and I got bored. So he’s tall and that’s all I know!


>So instead, you must go on your own on this journey! It’s dangerous to go alone, so it’s a good thing you’re two ponies so it’s probably fine. You will need this!

She holds up a tiny square.

“What is that? Some kind of security keycard to unlock all the parts of the castle.”

>NO! It is… my ID! Show it to the guard and they’ll let you in!

‘But… neither of us look even remotely like you-‘

She zaps them both with magic.


“You gave us your hairstyle and colors? This… this is weird even for me.


“Not that weird but you know.”

>No, off you go! Have fun storming my castle!

She leaves.

“…Should we abandon this quest before it gets weird.”

‘If we do, I’m blasting this castle.’

“Quest start it is!”
Yeeeeeep, LNPP Caddy, I’d recognize her anywhere
SHe has that distinct air of crazy, no?

>So we all acknowledge that we could have easily just gone to one of our rooms, right? We all sleep in the same bed but we DO have rooms and this has been established a lot.



~My back is a pretzel.~

>Okay, just wanted to be clear here. Secondly, is Shiny still breathing?


‘Obviously, I would have started punching if he was in danger, it’s instinct.’

~Seriously I can’t feel my legs.~

>Finally, we’re going to prank Pinkie for taking Caddy, right?


‘She will taste sour apples. That’s all I have. I’m… I’m not good at pranking.’

~Just gonna twist-~



>Glad we’re united.

Made for cuteness

“You ready for this?”

The royal pair watched as the portal began to crackle and charge with the strange magic they had grown so used to. After what felt a lifetime of being awash in its magic transporting them across time and space, the pair standing before it could almost feel a ghost tingle across their skin any time the portal became charged.

“Of course not.”

His wife spoke with a smile, one diplomatic and seemingly ready for anything. The stallion couldn’t help feeling a little jealous how calm she appeared to be, she always had the brilliant mind when it came to talking to others that he sorely wished he could replicate.

He simply looked to her and knew she was ready, he wished he could say the same about himself. Times had certainly become strange rather quickly, and with the ‘unique’ standing of that world, he couldn’t stave off the worry in his chest as to how this pony would react to those that lived with them, and their circumstances in how high they were on the command chain. Inviting him had been a show of kindness.

Or, rather, a bout of foolishness in hindsight.

Yet, it was too late to change his mind, too late to take it back. The time had passed.

For he had arrived.

“Hello there!”

The mirror of the Prince of the Empire, albeit a funhouse mirror in this case.

“It’s just like I remember it.”

There was much to talk about, and much to learn.
Dammit man, you can't tease us like this. We need to interaction.
It begins!
I honestly don’t want to hog it, let someone else have some fun instead of just my parts dictating everything you know?
I was joking, it's nice of you to do that.
Honestly I want to know what Sebjek and Delight are doing.

>I thought you’d be taller.


>I’m serious, you kept going on and on about how tall he is, but he’s just as tall as Celestia.

“That’s tall for me!”

‘He’s a shorthorse. He thinks things are tall.’

>He is!

“I’m taller than you!”

>Eh depends on how you’re looking.

‘She’s right, if you stand a liiiiittle to the right, she’s taller than you.’

“How does that work!?”

>Lazy? Drag and drop is hard.


‘She gets it.’

“I am so confused!”

>And this is the one who hangs around Pinkie?


>How much bigger is your dick?



“That’s not important!”

‘I doubled in size and then tripled in size if you get my drift.’


“Caddy! You can’t be thinking about it!”

>I am! Because-


>-eventually you’ll become a-wait what



‘You’re welcome.’
Confirmed bro-teir
Listen to the boy, he’s walked a lonely road
Looking out for the little guy
File: 1146368.png (594 KB, 1400x1050)
594 KB
594 KB PNG
[Rainbow Dash]
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and this is when we're suppose to work!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one...'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!!'"
Canned applause.

[Hey hey what's up!]

>Can you do you?

[Heh, I don't really know what you mean, but of course I can do me. There's no pony better that can do me.]

'Wow so you're confident that no one can do you better than you. Not me, but you.'

[That's right. You're not me and I definitely know me and I can do me the best.]

>Cadence, you heard her.

"Okay, if you really want to do yourself, here you go."
Cadence gives Rainbow Dash a knife with a smile.


In the most positive tone.
"You do you!"

>That's all the time we have, but they'll be plenty of Pinks next time!


Rainbow Dash wakes up.
[...you know what? I don't feel like doing myself today.]
File: 568735.png (103 KB, 300x300)
103 KB
103 KB PNG
I approve of these pink on pink on pink stories.

Despite the mention of Shining Armor.
Who's the wife
Fuck you retard stop being vague who's the wife
... Cadence.

It Shining and Cadence
Oh the irony
Gotta let the Shiny hateboner go man, he wasn’t even in that story!
It's a beautiful day to see what that mayor and his secretary is up to.
Is this saying it’s coming?

Cause I have zero ideas with that guy
Ppanon cannot

For it is in his heart
>Crystal Guard

>He tol.

“He very tol.”

>He byg.

“Very byg.”

>He hueg.

“So, so hueg.”

>…Did you ever find out why everyone calls us fucking doucebags?

“No idea, man.”
>"Quicksilver Sash
"Steam Guage"
'Meat Puppet'

'So, what do you boys make of that ship?'

>"It's kinda scary, but it's not doing anything, and that other Shining Armour seems nice enough."

"You were itching to go fight the other day."

>"Well yeah, before we found they're not attacking, really."

'I don't like it, but until they make a move, we can't do much.'

"Doesn't help that everypony seems to be fixin' for this other Shining."

>"...I mean, he is hot."

"Not you too."

>"Look at him! So large and... ooh he could hold you in his hooves and snuggle you well easy."

'Eh, it's probably not all that.'

"You're just saying that because you're bigger than most stallions."

'True. I do the hugging. Can't help but wonder what it's like.'

>"It's nice. Gauge hugs are comforting."

"Hugs in general are comforting."

>"Yeah but you-hugs make me feel safe."

'How touching.'

"I usually let him get on with it."

>"Hug meeeeee."

'...And yet you're hugging him as he asks.'

"Like I said, I let him get on with it. Plus he's soft."

Hugs, they’re what’s forever



“You uh, you okay there fella?”



“…Can.. can spike teleport? He’s just… gone.”

He's gone fry!


>Did you do some remodeling around the Empire? I'm noticing a lot of the buildings look different than I remember.

The married couple shared a look, one of 'those' looks that always cropped up whenever a visitor outside of their know asked something like that.

"Something like that..."

>And that one, the stadium! You added an entire wing to that! Why?

'We needed more space, and... repairs.'

>The Equestrian Games got that bad?

"The what now?"

A second later, everyone had forgotten everything about that.

'So! Is the Empire in your world still like it used to be?'

>Well, it's not called the Crystal Empire anymore, so certainly not in every way. More, spiritually? It's spiritually like it ever was.

"Oh? What's it called now?"

>The Crystal City. We felt calling one of our Vassals an Empire was, well, a little silly.

'And they were okay with that?'

>You'll have to ask Applejack about that one. I didn't name the place, I don't even go there anymore. Much more... fun to be had at home, you know?

Neither pony was quite sure what to make of his smile.

>All the same, I might go visit when I get home. This place makes me... nostalgic.


>Things used to be different, didn't they?

Once again, the two shared a look. This one was much more warm than the others had been.

'You could say that....'
Okay, how does one explain a fucking giant bitch ruining everything?

>So a ghost changeling took over a pony, made her go to supersize, and attacked your city like a cheesy monster movie?

"Exactly that yes."


>Wow, okay, two thrones?


>That's... weirdly shocking for me. I don't know why this is so surprising that you have two thones.

'Is it because it's off center? It is, but that's only because it's really, really hard to move that thing. This took some serious design changes.'

>Huh. That's... weird.

"Is it really? You seem floored by this."

>Maybe I'm just not used to your brand of weird.

'We can help you with that!'


"We can!'"

>Okay, how?

Tap tap.

>...is... is that a changeling?

~I am.~

>Why did you call a changeling?

'Forty Two! Do your thing!'

>Is her thing attacking?

~Punching, usually, but I'm working on other things.~

>Such as?

~Ahem...An earth pony, a unicorn, and a pegasus were all lost in the desert. They thought they would die because all were injured and none could make it home, then they found an oasis and touched it. Suddenly a Siren pops out of the water and says she'll grant them all one wish. The earth pony wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The unicorn was smarter, and wished to be taken to the best doctor in the world. Poof! She was sent where she could be treated. The pegasus said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here." ~

"HA HA!"

'It's true, we are silly! HAhahahah!'


~My work here is done.~



'Feel the weirdness yet?'

>Little bit.
Okay how the fuck is 42 the Pinkie Pie of the group?
She's more Dash than Pinkie. She's tough and strong and loyal, but she's got a funny side to her too

"And this is our paperwork room!"

>What the heck does that mean?

'You know, the room where we do paperwork.'

>Like, what kind though? Zoning? Legislation? Criminal processing?... Catering?



'We're diversified in paperwork! And we couldn't do it without... our very special, VERY special helper! Eighteen!

She opens the door.


Shuts the door.

>...Is... is Eighteen some kind of experiment or summoned demon or-

"That, ah, that wasn't Eighteen, that was the paperwork monster."


"I don't think it likes you. That's Eighteen over there."

Eighteen walks past, sipping on an energy drink and giving the other Shining an appraising look.

~Yo... looking good.~

She nods appreciatively before getting back to work.

>...Why does she have-

"It's her thing. That's her other thing. Like turning into Cadence!"

'She looks like me a lot!'

>...I have so many questions.
And now, thoughts of conquest are tossed aside
That does fit way better
I don't even mention his name in my stories. I refer to him as Cadence's husband. I'll drop the hate boner the same way I dropped the hate boner for Chrysalis. When he stops getting so many stories.
>When he stops getting so many stories.

>He was literally next to nonexistent, no more than a couple stories at best per long thread, for two months
>This is still still too much
>The only way PP anon likes him is essentially is him not existing anymore

Hateboner it is!
>I don't even mention his name in my stories.

I know, and you are a silly silly little thing for it, but we love ya' all the same no matter how silly you may be. You be you and have fun!
>I don't even mention his name in my stories. I refer to him as Cadence's husband.

Okay I never noticed that and PP anon that does not sound healthy. Like, I'm not trying to say this as some kind of mega-fan of the character I'm just saying it as a guy who read you saying you literally will not name a character for being around at all and this is worrying me. Listen to your /pa/l this sounds very weird.
Hateboners are for life.

And honestly so long as he isn't, like, writing stories where the guy gets castrated it's not that big an issue. He doesn't like the character, big whoop, he's obviously got a shitton of other writers.

>I notice you've been avoiding talking about... that.

The stallion above the others remained smiling, even though something very sharp could be seen in his eyes. It had been there since he had looked out over the horizon at the snowy land beyond, and it had never stifled since its ignition.

>Any particular reason I should be worried?

They knew what he spoke of, of course. Neither were so simple or foolish enough to ignore the blatantly obvious. Well, most of the time. This time was not one of them.

"Sure! What do you want to know?"

They knew what he meant, and why that meant they had to put on the brightest, happiest smile they could to show there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry about at all.

>Couple things.

He didn't seem to buy it at all.

>For starters, how you can't see that the Changelings setting up their home base literally outside your doorstep could possibly be-

A short, almost annoyingly normal knocking of the door cut him off.

~Can I come in?~

To the tall stallion, the voice on the other side of the door raised his fur nearly to the point it danced on his back, all of his body language looking ready for a fight. The other two, on the other hoof, looked like they were ready to fall to the ground in shock.


They very nearly did just that when the door opened normally, and someone entered in a very normal fashion.

~Ahem. I do believe you were in the middle of asking them about certain land placement! I, The Queen of All Changelings, believe I can answer those questions for you in their stead! If you don't mind, of course.~

Though she looked regal, powerful and radiating confidence, most couldn't help but notice the slight, almost remorseful twitch of her hoof. It longed to hit that door, and was not whole without it.

"Oh no, of course, explain away."


The stallion brushed the comment off, while at his side his wife silently thanked whatever lie in the world beyond that she had not gotten punched through the wall again.

>...very well, if you don't mind.

~Not at all, not at all~

The two behind him were forgotten, his entire body and gaze seemed locked in squarely on the Queen in front of him, one who never wavered in her powerful and imposing posture when he began to advance.

>Why are you building a castle outside of this place? Equestria has hundreds of areas that would be more... suitable for one like you.

~What can I say? I love the view.~

She let out a strangely subdued laugh when he twitched.

~Oh don't be like that, nobody else was using that area for obvious reasons, I asked, they gave the okay. It's not like they did it immediately, I had to save the world and this Empire at least twice before they said yes. Honestly they likely would have done it sooner if I didn't have a bad habit of drinking out of the chocolate milk carton.~

Though the alternate white stallion hummed thoughtfully, to no one else, a certain pink mare cursed her very name.

~And of course, this provides such a wonderful and consensual source of food for my little changelings, and of course should anything nefarious appear we are here to save it. Tested and proven, in case you were unsure.~

The changeling gave a prideful and dashing look. The alicorn of another world paid no mind to it, and instead sized her up as he walked closer.

>You're free to walk around the castle, in this case?

~Obviously. It wouldn't be very fair if I had to be watched all the time, would it? Not to them, I mean, I myself would love to be admired all the time, but alas, sometimes you have to go do other things. Important things?~

She smirked, giving a flippant brush of her hair when he walked around her.

>And neither of them have a problem with it?


Just before he could get close enough to look at her closer, the Queen swiftly and slightly unnaturally curved away from him, subtly moving closer to this world's royal pair.

~Only when I find the closest where they hide the bouncy balls, but it's far too late by then.~

She never stopped smiling, even when his own faltered a bit.

>I admit, I thought they'd keep you on a tighter leash, metaphorically of course.

~They can use the regular ones if they'd like. I'm up for most anything.~

She gave a devilish wink.

>Are you now?

Just as his own had nearly slipped, her smirk almost dropped right off her face when he spoke back with a deep, and very engaged voice.

~Now now, don't tell me you're already thinking something uncouth.~

>What can I say?

He moved slightly closer.

>After so much went wrong in my world with you, something about a version everyone seems to trust has certain allures to it.

She didn't move away this time.

>Long, elegant, nothing I could appreciate before in my world considering her... circumstances. There's a lot I apparently missed out on.

Even when he drew so close, she could feel his breath, she never backed away.

>And I must say, it's so nice to see someone so... ta-

~Absolutely not.~

The stallion paused, the married pair blinked, everything about the world just seemed off kilter right now.

~You absolutely cannot be as tall as me.~

She measured again with her hoof, and came up with the same result.

~You cannot! Because that means you're taller than Celestia, and that's not allowed! She is the tallest pony and I'm taller than her! I'm taller than all ponies! What kind of lie is this? This is a lie to reality!~

He had been struck mute, no longer sure what to say after his advancement had not only been rebuked, it seemed to have gone wholly unnoticed in favor of her inspections of more important matters.

>What can I say?


His smile back in place and the smoothness returning to his step, he tried to move closer again.

>I'm a lot bigger than you're used to.

The whole room went silent for a long, brief moment.

~Depends on the angle you look at it.~

He backed off once more, no longer sure if she meant in size, or in something else entirely. All that mattered is that she remained unimpressed, and focused only on measuring again and again to try to find some loophole that showed she was indeed taller.

>I can't tell if you're like my Chrysalis or not.

~Let me clear it up for you, I'm nothing like your Chrysalis...~

She looked back to the royal pair, smiled with all the warmth of a sunny day, and waved.

~You wouldn't understand why.~

She snapped back, her smirk just as cocky and sure as it ever had been before. His unsure gaze met her, still studying, still trying to deduce something beneath the surface.

~If you ever want a tour of the Changeling Hive, I'd love for you to see it. Shiny and Cadence can show you around, just ask them to take you on a tour. They know it rather well by now and can show you all the particulars. And of course... I'd love to see your world too someday, it sounds so very interesting.~

He didn't respond, even though she showed uncharacteristic patience in waiting for it to come. Soon, it was clear she had given up, and she waved to all of the room before she headed to the door just a bit faster than was needed.

~But for now, I must return to managing my Hive, I have a lot I need to set up for the future. Lots of big things coming... besides you, of course. I just wanted to ensure there weren't going to be any such incidents like the last visitor from your world brought.~

His smile returned.

>Of course not, I think you'll find I'm much more... open than the previous ruler of our world was.

~Wonderful, simply wonderful. Maybe next time we can have a longer talk.~


She winked before she exited the room through the open door, though to whom none were entirely sure.

~Try not to regret missing out on so much for as long as you can. I do feel for you... but sometimes, ponies are just special.~

She left casually before, to the shock of the two silent rulers in the room, shutting the door normally. They heard her leave at an easier pace, and was gone.

>She seems fun.

The pair smiled, and something about that made the alicorn stallion's expression turn.

"You have no idea."
Chrysalis leveled up!

Diplomacy boost unlocked!
I’m kinda surprised she wasn’t at least a little interested in him sexually. I didn’t expect fawning or anything but a hummanah or two would’ve fit
Okay either Salt turned on a dime or was trying to tempt Chrysalis to make a point or something like that, because he went from scary to hitting on her like nothing
This is going to sound weird but he seemed interested when he figured out she was normal enough to woo, like he went from “You’re evil” to “You’re fuckable” and that made all the difference.
She can literally have ANY CHANGELING look like that immediately. Just snap and bam she’s fucking Alicorn Shiny with extra wings
Nah it's like how I never really liked onions in the first place and my mom would try to keep force feeding me onions because she figured I'd stop hating it if I get used to eating it. She'd keep putting them in my eggs and I'd keep spitting them right back out. She still does it now, these days onions make me want to gag.
"I chopped it into small bits so you shouldn't taste it, Anon."
>I proceed to give her a look and spit out another piece of small onions.

I auto skip SA stories like it's gonna make me gag if I don't. Those two months were filled with OoOC Shining and reactions revolving around him. He stopped existing, yet it was like he never left. People just wouldn't stop needing that Shining dick. At this point the only way my hate could get any worse is another even bigger Shining dick for people to gush over.
>Nah it's like how I never really liked onions in the first place and my mom would try to keep force feeding me onions because she figured I'd stop hating it if I get used to eating it.

Still me here, and I've got to say that's a terrible way of looking at it because it implies it's being forced on you or everyone's pushing it on you instead of just, well, people like writing this character because he's fun? You're looking at it all wrong and that's troubling to me.

>I auto skip SA stories like it's gonna make me gag if I don't.

That! That should not happen. That is not a normal reaction and it's very weird.

> Those two months were filled with OoOC Shining and reactions revolving around him. H

They were not, he barely had any OOCO during then and it's worrying to me you saw like, three stories in one thread and that's 'filled'.

Again, I'm not saying this as 'Shiny's cool you've gotta love him' perspective, but 'I like your writing and it's cool but reading your opinions on a character is worrying me'. Listen to your /pa/l here, I just want you to see it's weird! You don't have to like him, characters are great like that, but looking at it like this is... weird!
He might be trying to get her to reveal her 'true self'.
>Look at everyone having fun with onions and there's so many people who love onions. You're looking at onions all wrong. You just gotta change the way you view onions instead of being gross. Try onions with something you like and in a different form.
>puts chopped up onions in scrambled eggs.

…I'm good. I not gonna consume or make anything with onions, but enjoy them anyway.

>Me if I ever decide to read a Shining Armor Story. Replace sweets with Shining Armor.
>Try onions with something you like and in a different form.

Kinda veered off at the end then and looped back around to
> it implies it's being forced on you or everyone's pushing it on you instead of just, well, people like writing this character because he's fun?
You almost got away from it but just before you realized changing from being gross to just being something other people eat that you don't, you slammed hard into
>They're clearly telling me I HAVE to eat them and are desperate to have me put them with it!
You just couldn't get away from the idea that someone is trying to make you eat them instead of just enjoying them and thinking it's weird how you react around them. They're onions. They're just onions! It's a food, your reaction to these things is weird. Seriously weird and it's worrying me a lot.

>I not gonna consume or make anything with onions, but enjoy them anyway.

See that's a slightly healthier way of looking at it, but you're not sticking to that and what you are focusing on is so weird! So weird! We didn't even ask if you liked onions at the start but now it's the whole thing somehow.
Okay I'm starting to get worried too. PP anon you're one of my favorite authors here and you seem like a cool guy who ITs and doesn't afraid of bootcamp please stop this is getting creepy.

>I not gonna consume or make anything with onions, but enjoy them anyway.

Sticking with that, I am sticking with this being what you meant and that's the end of it.
Damn now I’m hungry
PPanon is silly! SILLY!

Still love ya' /pa/l.
Shining Armour is effectively the stand in for us
You cannot and will not change my mind on this

>Tia? Gotta question.

"Tia is currently not available at the moment. Please forward all requests and inquiries to literally anyone else."

>Well shucks, Ah guess Ah'll have ta ask Celestia instead.

"Ye- no!"

>Yep, but ya can tell Tia all about this later if ya want.

"She doesn't want to hear it!"

>A shame. But my question is how often do ya get reports from your agents?

"In general or specifically?"

>Let's go with both.

"I mean, it depends on what they're doing. Most of the time I receive a report every other day or once a week if things are slow. The longest I tell them to go without contacting me is a month, and that's only if they don't feel absolutely safe doing so within that time."

>What happens when the month is up?

"I send another agent to look for that one."

>And if another month passes?

"I send Jetset to drag them out of whatever booze related holiday they've been indulging in."

>Ah'm bein' serious.

"So am I! Every time I think they may be in trouble it turns out they're boozing it up or just forgot because things are slow. It's not a common occurrence, but these things stick out and a mare worries, Applejack! She worries!"

>So if Ah send mah agents out for, like, a week, Ah should be worried if they don't contact me after about two days and try to contact 'em?

"Well, like I said, it depends on what they're doing. And what agents? Like Jetset? I know we split him between us, but he's still one agent."

>That information is top secret. If Ah told ya, Ah'd have ta kilt ya. And Ah don't have one big enough for that rear of yours.

"Drat. I could use a change of wardrobe."

>...But seriously-

"Applejack. Remember what I've always told you: Let your heart be your guiding light."

>Y'all never told me that.

"Yes I have. It's always been my catchphrase."

>No it hasn't.

"I whisper it all the time and you can't prove otherwise, so nyah!"
So, Sebjek-anon (working title), any story in-progress at the moment with Sebjek and Delight? I was thinking of going ahead with more one-posts to just chug it along, so any particular plot point you need me to write about?
>Ppanon hates us

>Point out how wrong this is
>Make a joke this means PPanon hates us so much he won’t even acknowledge we exist

Every single time I sit down to write anything I get interrupted, I swear my life has become a whacky ass sitcom. Gonna try to move the plot forwards today when I get off work, emphasis on try.
File: 770254.png (198 KB, 1000x870)
198 KB
198 KB PNG
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but our hotels are paid by the taxpayer's money right now!

"I'm the pretty one <3

'I'm the grumpy one...'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...RARITY!!!'"
Canned applause.

[Hello hello~]

>Can you handle yourself?

[Well, I may not look it, but I can handle myself better than you can-]

'Oy yae cheeky cunt! So yae thin' yoo kin handle yee'self? Then Ah' thin' it's time fer yee ta' git yae shet and fight us!'
'Cadence, Ah'm a choosin' yoo!'
Cadence pops out of a large balloon.
"Love love <3"

'Teach this wee tart a lesson!'

[Wait, that's not fair! I'm not ready!]

'Too bad lassie! Yoo said yae kin handle yee'self. Shooda caught something before.'

[Pinkie I'm choosing you!]

Pinkie rushes in.
>Pink Pink!

[I don't know what game we're playing now, but do something!]

Pinkie sits down.
>Sorry, my level is too high for you. I'm just gonna sit this out.

'Dahahaha lookit that! She cahn't even tame her starter ponymon! Yoo are utterly shet! Cadence, use ya love beam!'

Cadence charges her horn.

[Quick! Attack! Do something!]

>I'm afraid I can't do that, Rarity.]



'Say goodbye ta ya sweet lil' arse lassy!'

[Aren't we out of time yet!?]

>Oh you're right. That's all the time we have, but they'll be plenty of Pinks next time!


Rarity wakes up.
[...should have chose Applejack as my starter.]
MLPokemon is weird
Twilight is objectively best starter, but she’s also easy mode
But she can make badges!
Wait can you do that?

Has no one ever tried that!?
>Crystal Guard

>He’s not that big.

“Seriously. Way overhyped.”

>Like watching the latest Marevel movie.

“So much hype for nothing.”

>You look up and think eh, seen taller.

“But they still flip their shit.”

>Unlike us.

“We’re cool.”

>They’re lame.

“Yeah, adult stallions watch better comic book movies.”


“Lost it?’

>Yeah that kind of took it away.

>So, did you hit that yet?







Perched atop a massive overgrowth of trees, so thick in it’s brush that she could not see so much as a branch directly beneath her, the Manticore guard of the ‘village’ down below waited with twin chainguns at the ready, scoffing at nothing at all.


“What are you doing?”

Once more she scoffed, yet it seemed just as directionless as the previous ones.

“You’re moody.”

>Me not moody.





The manticore snarled, yet the phoenix behind her never gave her the reaction she wanted. There was no fear, just as there had never been before. Only a cold and thoughtful pair of beady black eyes greeted her.


So, denied of her wants, the beast returned to her vigilance and cool aloof air.

“It’s because his smell.”

Everything snapped when the creature rose, her previous snarl was little more than a mewl in comparison to what she unleashed.

“It is.”

The phoenix flew on without fear, even when great paws with great paws on the end swatted at her beak.

“Are you jealous?”

She huffed and she roared and she snapped, but the great creature never so much as raised a paw in anger to her sister in bond.

>…it not fair.

She sulked instead.

>He am in that place again but not bring me. Me strong, me can protect him but him not want me come. Him go with her instead. Why?

Gentle wings laid across her back and a gentle voice came with it.

“They might take you.”

A growl came, warning of the sudden whirr of weapons coming alive.

>Me could beat them.

“Then what?”

They died down soon after.

“Would you run forever?”


“Run from him?”

She, and her weapons, fell silent.


She shuffled away from the wing, her large sides shifting so her own mighty wings could block her face from sight.

>Do you think him like her, more than me?



One word made the Manticore curl, her wings a shield from the world.


Deft wings brought the phoenix before the furred face, never allowing her to curl back into her defensive hold.

>Then what? If not jealous, then what?

“Not what I meant.”

The great wide eyes looked up in curiosity.

“He does not love her as much. He loves you much more.”

Then, they filled with tears.

“You are special. You are Buttercup.”

The wings opened up, and allowed her sister to draw close.

“Tell him.”

Atop those trees, hidden from the prying eyes down below, a great beast and a cunning bird held each other in solace that only the other could truly understand. To know they were not whole, not yet, and they were not incomplete. Something was missing and something was there.

“He will prove it.”

Much had been discovered.


There was still more to be found.
Huh. Strangely interesting seeing Buttercup become more, what's the word? Human is just wrong.
I love how there just IS this giant ass manticore PPG reference with dual chain guns and nobody thinks it’s weird
All bugs requirre snugs and that is fact
WHat's batmom and changdad op to?

"I don't trust that sky thingy."

>The princesses say it's fine.

"Fine!? They pointed guns at us! At babies!"


"That baby!"

>You were out of the city.

"It's the principal of the thought!"

>Those words are too big for you, honey.

"I mean it! I don't trust anyone who would do this great city harm! They're bad things, BAD!"






>She gets it.

"Stop using how proud I am that my baby is smarter than me to make me look dumb!"


"Darn it!"

"Welcome... to the Empire Stadium! Yayyyy wooooshhhh!"


"I'm simulating a crowd. They uh, they didn't want to come out today. Said something about this never ending well."

>I understand.

"Do you? That's... worrying."

'Hey! Me! Check this out! Hoofball!'


'Want to play?'

>That wouldn't be very fair, I'm the world champion.

"You uh... you played?"


"Before or after you got big."

>I was always technically big.


'You know what maybe this isn't-'


>Not dadling

Changedad fits better.

He is black after all.
I disn't care at the moment>

Applejack Two was ready to smile.

"Okay sissy, put on a biiiiig smile!"

To emphasize her point, the tips of each hoof stretched her own chitinous grin as far as it could go, her silly face matching her bright and childish glee.

Though her sister smiled as well, she seemed to share very little of the enthusiasm, more concerned with seeing whatever it was that had gotten her adoptive sibling so excited, and possibly ending that thing if it proved to bore her. Simply waiting for it to go away forever would to the trick, even if it wasn't as fun as her go to means.

"Smiiiiiiile! Ya' gotta look really pretty for Shining who ain't Shiny so he knows we're good! Iffin' ya' smile, he'll smile too, and then we can be friends! That's why we made ya' all pretty!"

Satisfied hooves brushed out the last of the wrinkles on the little fillies dress, failing every time. Even with those minor faults, the princess couldn't be more happy with how the baby looked.

"See? You're just like big sissy!"

She twirled to show off the outfit that mirrored the alicorns own, albeit a bit larger naturally. Bright pink colors and flowers and ribbons galore, Miss Rarity had done her masterwork to give an impression that lasted.

"He's gonna think yer' so pretty! Pretty sissy!"


The little one remained unimpressed, thus drastic measures must be taken to ensure her smile.

"Prettty sissy!"


"Pwetey Sissuh!"


"Pwbah sissah!"


She did so love funny faces.

The door to the study clicked unlocked, and the princess leapt with a start.

"It's time! Smile sissy!"

She hugged her fussing sister to her chest and waited, her heart beating in her chest with such rapidfire pace it threatened to burst. She felt so excited when she got to meet new ponies, she loved spending time with her two beloved guardians, to do both at the same time was simply as rare as it was delightful.

Two was ready to make someone smile.


"And in here you'll find the most valuable part of the castle by far. It has the greatest treasure in all the Empire.."

The door opened wide with a flourish. For a second, the changeling child happened to notice how strange it was to be on this side of some kind of opening. Seeing the two ponies with their hooves up and showcasing the inside from the back made it seem so strange in perspective.

Yet, as she so often did, she lost focus of that quickly enough. Something much bigger was waiting.

"Our darling children!"

Quite literally.

"Hello mister Shining! Ah'm Applejack Two, and this is my little sister! Flurry, say hi! Hiiiii!"

Though she attempted to 'encourage' a wave, the filly cared very little for it. Her entire attention was grabbed by the tall, almost luminous stallion who stood before her. It was all she could look at, all she cared to see.

"So there she is..."

And, likewise, so too did the stallion only seem to look at her.

"There she is..."

Giving up on trying to help a wave, the little changeling rose so that the stallion need not bend his neck so deeply to look upon her. It always helped to make a guest feel more comfortable, that's what her mother told her at least, and she did try so very hard to listen.

"It's nice ta' meet you!"

He didn't respond, and she didn't say anything afterwards either. She knew she should be polite and wait, yet couldn't shake the worry that maybe his world was different, and she was supposed to keep talking.

The changeling always felt so nervous when meeting someone strange to her. She had hoped his appearance being so close to a certain other stallion's would have made things far more smooth. Now, she worried if that was true.

"She's amazing..."

She beamed a little bit, happy she had finally been acknowledged.

Her wings wobbled a little bit when she realized he hadn't ever stopped looking at the little pony in her grip.

"Yep! She's the bestest little sister ever, and the cutest, right?"


He continued to pay no attention to her words. Instead, he reached up as if to pet the tiny little filly.

He didn't quite reach before she was pulled back away from it.

"She uh... she don't like to be touched, mister Shining. You can ask mommy and she can help you, though!"

It was only now that the stallion looked up at her. The slight annoyance on his face was enough to make the changeling's heart jackhammer in her chest with fear, truly worried she had done something terrible to make him so upset and she hadn't even realized.

"It sure seems like it."

His sharp gaze cut back down to her. Or rather, her horn, which glowed with an unnaturally strong power.

"She feels very... powerful."

Though he did not touch, he still reached out as if to feel the air around her horn, to brush against the latent magic sharply cutting in the air.

"Very powerful."

"Yeah, she's kinda... kinda hard ta' hold onta' sometimes."

Right on cue, two great big wings snapped open and forced herself out of the changelings grasped.

"Sissy no!"

It was too late, as it so often was with the wild little thing. She shot forwards and flew around the new alicorn, looking on with quite vested interest into two particular parts as well.

"They're rather nice wings, aren't they?"

The little one did not know if he spoke of the bright pink and very large wings on her sister, or his own wings that he glanced to with admiration and pride before he spread them.

"Very much like yours."

That helped clear things up.

"Interesting, they seem bigger than Cadence's... more my size, actually."

He reached out with them, showing off the impressive size that he had been strangely coy about revealing until now. They had seen him in flight, they had seen him stand tall, yet it was only now when he stretched them far as they could go, that the ones in the room could appreciate just how massive they were.


Likely, had her favorite aunt been here, the changeling bet she would have gone on about bigger size needing bigger wings or stallions having more weight or something, and felt a pang of sadness it had not come to be. She missed her aunt, dearly.

"Very light coat too, guess she got a healthy chunk from you, didn't she?"

The stallion smirked at his smaller counterpart, who had little to offer in the way of that.

"Yeah, but she got mommy's good looks!"

The royal pair laughed, a true laugh that the changeling could taste in the air.

Yet the otherworldly stallion never so much as chuckled, only content to watch the baby play with his wings.

"You certainly got something, didn't you little one?"

It was shameful to think, and she knew it so, yet the changeling still felt a little better believing he had been responding to her, and not that he was merely talking to himself when the filly started ducking around him with divebombs.

"You seem very talented..."

He reached up, and brushed against her wings just when she passed by. The baby seemed to be displeased at that, and let loose a loud gurgle right before her horn lit up like a lighthouse.


A hoof shot out faster than even the changeling could fly, and snuffed out that light with a simple tap of a blue hoof against her horn. Whatever spell had been on the end of that hoof, it had done the trick and stifled the magic.

"And very, very powerful."

Albeit not before whatever was there left a single trail of smoke coming up from his hoof.

"Sorry, Mister Shining! She's normally a good filly, I think you just scared her. Sorry! She's really sorry too! Sorry!"

The changelings profuse apologies when she plucked the filly from the sky and brought her back away went unheeded. The stallion only seemed interested in one thing.

"She has nothing to be sorry for."

The last bit of magic fading away.

"You're both very, very lucky."


The two who had remained silent throughout the entire exchange forced a smile when the tall one finally looked back to them, his own grin positively brimming with genuine excitement that seemed alien on his face.

"I hope you know what you have here, and how lucky you are to have it."

"We do!"

They both moved past, and stood side by side as they brought the young ones closer.

"We have two very beautiful and wonderful daughters, and we're the luckiest parents in the world to have them!"

The love, the kindness, the genuine smiles on their faces, all was enough to at last let the changeling put on one of her own once more, yet one a little more muted than it had been before.

"We just wouldn't be a whole family without them. Both of them."

To emphasize his point, the stallion gave a little squeeze to his hug around the elder daughter.

"We wouldn't trade either for the whole world."

The pink mare tried to do the same with the baby, though her efforts fell a little more flat when her squeeze was met with fussing and an upset baby who seemed only to want to get away.


The stallion noticed. It was all he could notice, since he had not looked away from her yet.

"The whole world seems just a little less important, doesn't it?"

They didn't quite know how to take that, so instead the stallion opted to change the subject.

"Uh ohhh, looks like someone's being a fussy baby!"

He plucked the child from his wife, holding her up just before she could thwap her right in the face with one of her great wings.

"Such a fussy baby, yes you are! Who's a fussy baby?"

An instinctual shield was all that saved his face from a bout of laser beam.

"Uh oh, someone's getting her horn tickles! Two, why don't you take sissy to Sunburst and see if he can tone her down before dinner, you can talk with mister Shining more after that, won't that be fun?"


He had never, ever, asked her to go do something else when they had guests. A part of her didn't understand it. She couldn't show them around and smile and be fun if she wasn't around. How is she supposed to make friends if they don't get to talk, she wondered.

Yet, when he asked her to help with sissy, she had always said yes.

"Okay, Shiny!'

This time would be no different. She would see if her Crystaller would fix this problem first, then worry about talking more. She reasoned her parents must just be worried about him getting hurt, her sister was such a bright shooter when she got fussy after all.

"Nice ta' meet you, Mister Shining! We can talk more at dinner! But before that..."

Before she left, she reached into her bright dress and pulled out a bag, a special bag she had been saving for just such an occasion.

"Ah' want ya' ta' have some Marchmalleys! Trust me, they're the best thing ever, yer' gonna love them!"

Her heart soared when he finally looked at her. It began to fall when he seemed a little hesitant to take them.

"Ah' know, yer' worried cause ya' think 'how's she gonna eat some iffin' Ah' have it?' Well, no worries, cause Ah' got mah' own bag, this one's for you! Just for you!"

A moment more of hesitation brought her heart to a stop.

The world finally spun again when he took the bag.

"Thank you."

She positively beamed at that simple thanks. It didn't hold much enthusiasm or joy, yet that alone was enough to renew her hope.

Just because the hoof didn't step right the first time, didn't mean they couldn't dance! She thought that's how the phrase went at least.

"That's wonderful, Two! I'm sure he's happy you shared with him."

The stallion she knew moved her closer to the door, ushering her without ever once seeming he was pushing her on. She knew the subtle cues, she didn't need to be shoved, she understood when it meant she needed to hurry up.


She reasoned they wanted sissy to be ready for dinner, and moved with him until they exited the room.

"You think he liked my dress, Shiny?"

The stallion she had come to know, and love, with all her heart smiled at her, and on any other day that alone would have been enough, and nothing more need said.

Just this one time, when he didn't say a word, something felt wrong about it.

"Nice ta' meet you, Mister Shining!"

She still smiled, she still waved, and she still spoke with cheer as she left with her sister in tow. She had to, it was how she had to make a good impression after all. She had to look good.

At least, until she was far enough away.

"Sissy?... Ah' don't think he liked our dresses."

Far away that nobody could see her droop down, just a bit.

Certainly not her parents, who subtly fumed internally at how the taller stallion had acted to their daughter, and certainly not the stallion in question who stared at the empty wall where they had gone with curious eyes.

"Huh. To imagine how things could have been."

He smiled to himself, and popped a single marchmalley in his mouth.

"How different things could..."

He paused, he chewed a bit, and slowly he gulped the treat down. After a long pause of staring into nothing with eyes wide enough they should see everything, he finally spoke once more.

"... this is the most amazing thing I've ever eaten in my life."
Holy shit that ending
>Two is excited
This is going to hurt
>Put on a pretty dress.
Hurt, this is going to hurt.
>Salt comes in
There’s the hurt! So much hurt!
>The malleys almost get ignored
>The ending hits
... I don’t know how to feel right now
I can’t tell if he’s evil in this or that ending means it was all a red herring
Dat fucking whiplash
>being a dick to Two

Final boss most evil /10
Low blow man, low blow
Christ what an asshole
Bad touch! BAD TOUCH
>He WAS evil
>Then he tasted the malley

So much bloodshed, spared.
>Putting Two in the dress


+So, I'm hearing you, but I don't understand what you're saying.+

"Gah! Seriously? Ok. There. Is. Another-"

>Hiya, Bursty!


"Oh, thank goodness. Hello, Two! Hello, Flurry Heart!"

>And Mister Tempo's here! Hi!


>Do ya like me an' Sissy's dresses?

She does a little twirl and her smile widens when she sees him smile at her.

+You look lovely, Princesita. As do you, little balloon.+


Flurry uses Double Slap!


>Sissy, no. Mr. Tempo's just teasin'.

"You both look great! But what brings you here? I thought you'd be showing our GUEST around with your parents for the day."

Two wasn't sure why Sunburst looked to Tiempo when he emphasized "guest", or why Tiempo's eyes seemed to reflexively glaze over.

>Ah was, but Sissy was gettin' fussy around Mister Shining, so Shiny told me to help ya calm her down for dinner.

"Oh, I see. MISTER SHINING, huh?"

>Yep! I call 'im "Mister Shining" 'cause he's Shiny, but not our Shiny, so it's polite and not as confusing!

"I see. So, what you're saying is that there are TWO SHINING ARMORS here?"

And once again, the pegasus's eyes glaze over.

>Yep! But he ain't Shiny Two. He's just Shining... Ah thought ya already knew that?

"I did. But SOMEONE refuses to accept that."

+What are you looking at me for?+

"There are two Shining Armors."

+There are two whatnows?+

"See? He just shuts down."

>What's wrong, Mr. Tempo. How come ya don't think there's two Shinys?

+To protect my mental health.+

>Oh! 'Cause it's kinda confusing, right? Ah get'cha.

+Yes. Confusing and not absolutely maddening that I now have twice the competition to contend with.+

>Don't worry, Ah was confused, too. But just remember that Shiny has a horn, but Mister Shining has a horn and wings and that'll make things easier!



"He says thank you."

>Oh! You're welcome!
Give up now and go gay, it's your only hope
>Don'tcha worry mister Tempo! It ain't like he's gonna steal all yer, what'cha call'em, 'potential stuffings!'

+Because he's from another universe?+

>Nah because he's kinda a jerk

>You know, I just noticed, does this hair move? It never seems to move. Mine jiggles all the time but this feels stiff.



>You having trouble there?

"My tiara won't stay on my head!"

>That's a problem.

"How can I be diamond tiara if I don't have a diamond tiara on my head!?"

>So, wait, who are you when you take it off in the shower?

"Why would I do that? Tiaras need cleaning."

>To bed?

"Tiaras need sleep."

>...when you take out the Engineers Magazine and-


>So who are you right now?

"I... I don't know."


"No wait I do, I'm PISSED OFFFF!"
So did she BECOME Diamond Tiara, or was she always destined for it?
Minutes after her birth, as her father held his child in his hooves, he was struck with a sudden revelation. A name, a noun, something that not only should be, but must be. It was as if the creator herself had decided for him what this child must be, for she would find her path to it's destiny no matter what path he laid before her. He knew, in that moment, what would lie upon her head, and how the world would not be as it should until they had met. At that moment, he said aloud her name.

"Diamond Tiara."

And it was so.

His wife then proceeded to say "Whatever" and get back to finally drinking again now that the little shit was out of her.

>...So, itching powder in his soup?

>Or can we instead take away his malleys?

"PonyJesus fuck husbandhorse, too far!"

With a yawn, the Twilight Sparkle from another world trudges over to the control console of her airship and lazily plops into her seat.

Another day had come, but while her talk last night had done wonders for her spirit, her body was in desperate need of some concentrated caffeine to shake off the remaining grogginess the shower she took couldn't.

As she takes a sip from her mug, waiting as the calculations from last night load up on the screen and ignoring the various hails that that same frequency had been sending out since yesterday, a notification draws her attention.

Someone is approaching the airship. Though, unlike a certain dragon, this someone is approaching head on.

Switching the screen's feed to one of the cameras situated around the approach zone, her heart reflexively tightens at seeing the approaching figure.

She couldn't help it, after all.

Even though Spike sung her praises, and even though she held that same stubborn warmth in her eyes that she'd missed for so long...

Seeing Applejack fly towards her ship just reminded her of all the things that could've, should've, would've been had she been stronger.

"Twilight? You in there?"

The princess stops just at the tip of the airship, her eyes focusing on the bridge.

Twilight hesitates for a moment, but with the press of a button the ship's outer speakers activate.

>...Yes... Do you have anything to report regarding the fugitive's whereabouts?

"No. Ah do, however, have a request for ya."

>Which is?

"Move this blasted thing somewhere else!"

Following a stomp of her hooves, the orange mare gestures to Canterlot below.
"Ah know ya'll aren't itchin' ta fight us, but the fact of the matter is that yer not doin' anyone down there any favors by havin' that thing hoverin' over us like a hawk. Folks down there are gettin' antsy and Celestia kicks like a mule when she sleeps, so Ah'd very much appreciate it if ya took your ship and put it down behind the mountain."

>...Is that all?

"Far as my request goes, yes. As for your report, we're still lookin' for other-me and... Ah understand that this is important to you. Ah don't understand HOW much, but we're not draggin' our hooves on this."


"This ain't me demandin' you move. This is me askin' ya to think about how ya wanted things to look when ya first showed up and ask yourself if that's the image ya still wanna keep presentin' to a buncha innocents."

The alternate Twilight Sparkle couldn't help but grit her teeth. She was no stranger to guilt trips, let alone ones from an Applejack, but the sincerity in her voice stung like it hadn't in a long time.

Instead of feeling like there was no choice, like she HAD to do this or face the consequences of her superior, it felt like a call from one mare... one friend to another to just stop and think about things.


Without a word, the airship's engines whirred a bit louder and the behemoth begins to move away from the city.

Perching at its tip, Applejack stays with the ship it until it finally touches down in a wide open field.
Really not complicated when you think about it
The big difference between Ajs
This was almost, almost a touching moment

This was not the time to panic.

"This is exactly when I'm going to start panicking."

No matter what Delight said. He didn't know anything, he was a pony. That's what Sebjek reasoned as he and said know-nothing-pony started to be lead towards the main airship.

"Okay, I don't want to sound like a worrywort or that I'm not willing to fight and d-... do things for my country, but we see the fleet, we know what we're up against, we know what they're doing and where they are. Do you have a plan?"

The Morlock almost froze, almost, before being spurred on by a slap on his flank from a very twitchy wing.

"Seriously! Give me the plan here, I need to know what I need to do!"

The morlock did not freeze, but he did not speak.

"Please! Plan! I get it, your plan so far worked, I'm on board with whatever it is you want to do and am very impressed, but we've got the information! Why are we still here? What are we waiting for? What's the way out?"

Again Sebjek remained silent, looking out over the vast swaths of airships visible from the windows outside.

"To clarify, I mean 'a way out' as in the one you have planned, or 'a way out to appear' as in we need one to show up. I'm ready for either. Because I can grab you, fly really fast, and get the loving love out of here before they decide to kill us."

>They probably will.

The pony jerked hard away from the morlock, his heart only six beats, exactly, from exploding right out of his chest like a ribeaterworm had been planted in his spine.

>Every time in my research, when the villain has the information they want, they kill the one who gave it to them.

"Research? As in, history? Old classified documents? Survivor stories?"

>Hayes Bonbond.

Eyebrows came together, cogs turned in a mind that wasn't as small as it looked he swore, and eventually the strained effort of putting both together ended up with him finally remembering where he had heard that name before.


"Hey, buddy?... Is that a movie character?"


"As in, the movie character who is played by an actor."


"That's your research."


A sudden horrified realization struck the pony.

"You uh... you're not a secret agent, are you?"

The Morlock looked back, noting that the one called Tempest was currently engaged in a very loud shouting match with the short chubby one. Even though she clearly hadn't heard that, he still didn't quite understand.

>No? I am just a simple trader.

"You actually are. You're seriously, in fact, a simple trader."


"A civilian trader."


"Oh dear Faust."

A sudden, very brutal realization had just struck the pony.

"You're actually just a guy, aren't you?"


He was pretty sure that it would be followed up by a more brutal beating later. He wasn't sure against whom.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do. On my signal we jump off the side of the airship and haul flank back to Equestria, warn everyone, and then I see if sending civilians into dangerous situations is legal."

>Who are you going to ask?

"You know who."

>I don't.


>I don't?

"Orange-and-apples, who."



He hissed, low enough that it couldn't be heard over what sounded like a hoof smacking into the back of a furry head.

>Oh. Shouldn't it be obvious?

"Apparently not and I need to know if she knows about it!

>Couldn't she just make it a law either way?

He almost froze mid step. Almost, but not quite, because then the pony behind him would get closer and slap his flank to make him move again. He got enough of that in his dreams.

"Well shit."

>Princess of the red fruit is very wise.

"I doubt that immensely!"

He hissed, looking out the window with a soldier's gaze, noting all the different airships positions, how far away they are, and any path through them.

"Okay, I might have you just grab onto me and we fly out of here."

>Out there?

"Yes! Out there! Obviously!"


>Oh. Pony is very impressive, I did not know a pegasus could outfly airships. You are much more impressive than let on.

The pony considered for some time if he was joking or not, and realized it would hurt either way so took the win.

"Fine. On three, I'll create a distraction, and then we get the heck out of here. One, Two-"

The door opened up right on cue.

"...ohhhhh, shi-"

~Welcome, guests, welcome...~

Time for escape had run out.

~To my fleet. It will the the one to expand my empire... while it crushes Equestria.~

The Storm King had arrived.
They're fucked.
AJ authorized NONE OF THIS
Every time.

AJ is officially banned from secret agents!
Reminder that AJ just asked him to look for someone talking shit.
>Sebjek VS The movie

I mean.. they work...
"Storm King"

>Where is your pit of acid.


>Your pit of acid, I would like to be dangled over this now.

"...is this a sex thing?"
>because then the pony behind him would get closer and slap his flank to make him move again. He got enough of that in his dreams.
Does Tempest do this to all the guys she meets?
I'm assuming he meant AUJ.
For the dream part, I can see that, yeah, but Tempest is the only pony behind Delight.
>She tests every flank she meets with a slap
>Finally meets the rest of the crew
"Hello, miss Applejack!"
~Thank you.~
"You don't mind?"
~Ain't the first time...~
>Gets to Celly, Luna and Chrysalis
>Her hoof is broken within the minute

>Your Kirin are stupid.

"Oh no..."

The Kirin Queen sighed when the other Queen walked in, smoke trailing behind her.

"What did they do now?"

>Set things on fire.

She waited, patient, in hopes there would be some explanation following that. As the seconds ticked away, she realized the folly of her dreams

"That's it?"

>Specifically, those things were those oil canister things for your street torches.

"That seems a lot worse, you should have started with that."

>It's fine, don't worry.

"But how will they see in the dark now?"

>I stuck them on poles that don't burn, now everyone has light in the night!

She looked so proud of herself.

"Won't that make them mad?"

>Oh, they're absolutely pissed off.

In the distance, she could hear their screams.

>it's glorious to see. And bright! They'll be burning through the night.

"That's... wonderful?"

>I'm making great use of the rogues, and everyone else is improving. Most are at least able to go Nirik without growing out of control, but some require a more hooves on approach.

"You seem to have a lot of experience with this."


In fire and flame, a transformation happened again. This one merely was a little more changeling shaped was all.

>My soldiers were the finest warriors in all of the hives, bread to battle against foes ten times their size and win in their wars. They needed absolute control of power, and of self, and then and only then would I allow them to serve in my army.

"Oh my."

The kirin's tail should not have been wagging, this was not a wagging moment, yet there it went.

>I have experience, is all.

"Then I'm so fortunate you came, aren't I?"

>You are.

"...so are you going to put out the fire?"

>The wha-Oh damn it.

Even with the fire out, the Kirin Queen's opinion hadn't changed.

"Oh yeah, slap it out... then me."

She was pretty hot.

>Next time it's going UP YOUR ASS, SPRING FLOW!
What's next for Chitania's Smashers,
Find out next thread!
I can't tell if that was intentionally giving them a different name because they're a different team or you forgot it was Chitania's Crushers.

You win this round.
Anon think about it for a sec
So would that team be Sunset, Rainshine, Library mare and 13's dad?
He was right about the second part, but that works too.
What's 13 up too?
Abou my 3/10
Range Ban still in effect, so mad...
I made a thing this mornin~

https://i.imgur com/tqXlDbk.png

https://vimeo com/324805236
Now that's what I like waking up to
I am a kindred spirit with you, tiny horse
For some bizarre reason it's not letting my actually follow the links, just throwing me google searches
You're missing a dot my friend
I want to snuggle her so bad
>No guidelines
>Not even a circle for the head
Don’t sleep, you fool!
She is a tired princess! And Cely kicks!

>... Ah’ don’t wanna get out of bed.


>Ah wanna snugguuuu.


>it’s nice.

Roll twitch

>.... how late is it?


>... five more minutes

>Oh thank fuck they moved.


>No more guns over our heads!


>We did it, team!


>Team effort!




>I don’t like this place.

“Well, to be fair, they don’t like you either.”

>Really? They smile all the time.

“Probably, the little I’ve asked about changelings has not gotten me any good feedback or results. Those smiles are a liiiittle forced”

>Then let’s leave.

“You know I can’t, this is my only chance to actually succeed instead of dying of gangrene in the middle of a shitty restaurant.”

>There has to be another way.

“Considering the last place exploded us and this one just kind of smiles oddly, I think I’ll take my chances with this place.”

>Fine, if you say so…

“I do.”


“But, in the event someone tries talking shit, I have a gun ready to fuck them up.”

>That’s better.
~We can hear you, you know.~

>I do know. Look at all the fucks I give.

That is super ducking weird

>You know, something’s off about you.

“You don’t say.”

>I’m serious, you seem a little off. You look a little...



“...beg pardon?”

>You get it? Because you’re an alternate Shining Armor! S-Alt!


>And white!

“You’re the alternate one, though.”

>Not to me!

“And who’s universe are we in?”

>... hey, wanna visit-


>Awww, come on, it’ll be fun...
I am shimmering with rage
Literally glowing, I can see it from here!
Does that mean AUJ will become AJ?
>They just jump back and forth so they can be the real AJ

“AJ? Why are you staring at the portal?”




>It makes sense me
Pretty much everything in the thread in a nutshell


“You just realized that bimbo didn’t tell us where this thing was, didn’t you?”

>She is not a bimbo!


>More an airhead.

“So what do we do now?”


She walks up to the first house, knocks on it.

~Yes? Can I help you?~

>Is this the video game review place?

~No? This... this is my house.~

>Thank you!

Door shuts, she walks next door.


>Process of elimination DT!

Knock knock
... I mean eventually
>Everyone just politely answers
Now I wish Caddy was there. Imagine the princess going door to door with them because she forgot where it was
>Applejack season!

“Applejack season!”

>...we didn’t think this through


>Yo think I did good?

"You did wonderful, ma-... Chrysalis."

>Sweet, I knew I did good.

"Very good."

>I'm awesome, obviously.


>And pretty.

"Very pretty."

>...Changelings rule.

"Meh, hit or miss."

>See that? That's how I know it's real!

"Glad I could make you happy.
Best bugs
Is this the new gag? Celly always sleeps in her bed?

>Do you think I have what it takes to be a secret agent?

"Do Ah think a cocky and lazy fool who coasts through life by the skin of his teeth and the mark on his flank has what it takes to be part of a profession where diligence and secrecy is key?"

>I assume you are referring to me with those descriptions. Which is odd because I am not lazy.

"THAT's what you pick up on?"

>Well, yeah. My cockiness and on-the-fly-thinking are part of my charm-

"WHAT charm?"

>-but I'm not lazy. I just prefer not to work harder than necessary.

"So you're lazy."

>No? Lazy would be me not wanting to work at all. I do what I'm supposed to. Generally speaking.

"But nothin' beyond that, which is laziness as far as Ah'm concerned."

>So what you're saying is that you think I'm good, but I could be amazing?

"What Ah've been sayin' is that ALL OF YOU should stop settlin' for good enough and push for better."

>Well, I appreciate the vague vote of confidence you have in all of us, but I'd rather not burn myself out for nothing.

"The betterment of Equestria isn't 'nothing'."

>But it is a kind of vague and neverending goal, and I already have one of those. I'd at least prefer something more concrete as a stepping stone to that betterment, you know?

"Finishin' all this paperwork that mouth of yours keeps earnin' you isn't enough?"

>I was thinking more along the lines of a reward, really.

"Like what?"

>Hmm... How about seeing you genuinely smile for once?

"Is this you tryin' to be charmin'?"

>No, just honest. I'm not asking you to "smile for me, shweet-heart" but it'd be nice if there was... progress, I guess.

"I've smiled plenty of times, ya might've seen it if you didn't love actin' like a fool so much."

>Fair enough...

"Now, get back to work."

>What? But my break-

"Is over. Time doesn't stop just because you're yappin'."

>Damn it!

>It's headin' to the train station! We gotta stop it here!

"If we don't, it's gonna take a mornin' train goin' an~y~where~!"

With mad speed, Scootaloo moves past her friends, catching up to the sapling-vine-thing as it neared the edge of the train platform.

Despite having no discernible facial features or eyes, it looks back at them with a solemn, determined look before jumping(???) onto the tracks.


>Scootaloo! Nooooooooo!

But her plea was too late. The orange filly dived after the falling sapling-creature-thing, into the path of an oncoming train.

And so came the tragic end to Scootaloo's life story of various poor decisions.

At least, it would have been had a simple word not been uttered.


That's when a flash of gold appears behind the two watching fillies, heralding the appearance of a golden hand that shoots forward and pulls the falling filly back to safety out of the train's way...

Which, now that they atually stopped to look at, was actually being drawn into the station by four stallions that were already slowing to a stop by the time they showed up.

One of the stallions did, however, end up stepping on the sapling, releasing spores into the air and sending his fellows into a coughing fit.




>...Scootaloo's alive!


>But who could have pulled off such darin' heroics?


They both turn to see a unicorn mare, her horn glowing with red magic, staring at them.

>It's a person we don't know!

"Thank you, Ms. Person! Thank you for saving our friend!"

+You're welcome?+


Raising an eyebrow as the filly bites at the air, the mare releases her magical hold... and she dives onto the tracks anyways.

~*animalistic eating noises*~


+...Is your friend alright?+

>"Skipped breakfast."

File: 42366.png (84 KB, 269x303)
84 KB
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but you know you want us!

"I'm the pretty one <3

'I'm the grumpy one...'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!'"
Canned applause.

[Howdy y'all]

>Have you ever thought about knitting?

[Knitting? Oho there was this one time when Cousin Peach and Ah' were trying to knit sweaters fer'-]


'Here we go again.'

"I miss this actually."

[There we were, at the store, getting supplies when it gets robbed at knife point. We swore to Granny Smith that we'd bring her the knitting needles no matter what. We figured the robber couldn't stop us all, so we dove at the robber with our knitting needles and subdued him. We were heroes that day. Cousin Peach lucked out and was only stabbed 3 times not counting the knitting needles that she accidentally stabbed herself with. Ended up getting them fer' free.]

'Yeah free knitting needles after getting stabbed because why not?'

"I mean it makes sense. She bled on them. Who else is going to want bloody knitting needles?"


>That's all the time we have, but they'll be plenty of Pinks next time!


[But Ah' didn't get to the part where the needles stabbed-]
AJ wakes up.
[...her. Oh well, not like it was the first time she got stabbed…there.]
Been a bit since I was here, do I wanna see if I have this right.
Spike is heading towards Twilight
Chititania is trainng the kirins
Sebjek and Delight meet the Storm King
Salt meets Two
Is this right? Did I miss anything?
>>"Skipped breakfast."
Okay that was a damn fine punchline
Yep on all accounts assuming you meant Salt MET two
Peach confirmed low-power mangesis
When you hungry, you hungry

"Sup, Sunnyside up!'

>...hey, Fizzle. Don't call me that.




>Absolutely not.

"...Sunny D-"

>Nothing sun related. It... has a bad history.




>You're not good at names.

"You cut out the obvious part, don't put me on the spot like this!"

>Just call me Sunset. Much better connection to my current state anyway.


>Because soon... that Sun will Set.




>...kinda cool actually.

>Miss Chaser? Did you get it?


>You said you were gonna get it.


>What’s wrong?

“…I’m worried.”


“I’m worried about getting it in the… you know, the… wrong place.”

>Ohhhh… I mean, you can aim it-

“That’s hard! It’s… you know, hard.”

>Well it has to be, otherwise it won’t go in.

“It doesn’t have to be that hard!”

>I don’t know a lot about biology but I think that’s not true?

“It’s too hard!”

>Well, you could try to ask him to not be so hard? I don’t know how he’d do it, but he could try? Maybe soak it or something?

“But then how am I supposed to make sure it’s in the right place, I don’t want it going in the wrong place!”

>That would be painful, but not really bad? Like it wouldn’t break anything.

“It could!’



>Miss Cloudchaser…


>…You need to get your flu shot.


>Well we passed a law saying you don’t get a consensual choice and had to in order to hold office… which now that I think about it could be really easily abused, couldn’t it? What if we make a cure for rage or something? What if we just put stuff in there and don’t tell anyone? I get the benefits but this could go bad pretty fast-


I know it’s a mistake, but it’s way funnier hat she just randomly screamed that when she realized he truth


>Is this the game review place?

~…No? Why would-~

>Thank you!

She moves to the next door.

“This isn’t going to work.”

>Sure it will! I mean, eventually. It has to eventually work.

“At this rate, they’ll move, shut down, or die of old age before we reach them!”


>Is this the game review place?

~I have opinions-~

>Thank you!

She moves to the next door.

>Look, we’re making good progress, we’ve done over a dozen houses!


>I don’t know much about math, but that sounds like a good rate.

“This is stupid!”

>Fine then, use your rocket launcher to find the place.


>Are you telling me there’s something he can’t do?



“TBDRLAITU, hunt them down.”

The rocket launcher flies off.

>…So you could have always-

“Thanks for making me spoil his tracking ability!”
So Joe, you working on something or are you relaxing and just enjoying the threads?
The timing of that question was unreal and spooky
https://imgur com/3fxD0uS
Anyway yeah, I'm warming up, gonna start my 3 m mins.
Cool, can't wait to see what you do.
Normally I don't even save these, ha ha. Well, not longer than it takes to review the next day, anyway.
So we'll see.
>build that fence

Holy shit my sides
>Dat Twilight
>Dat Two

It looks like Twi is looking right at Two with that

Twi she can fly
I can’t tell if AJ is goin “oof, das hot” or “the fuck is she wearing”
Two grumpy!
And now for some 1 mins, ha ha! Get ready to see some really shitty art.

https://i.imgur com/tSa73MQ.png


Hah yeah, could... could do better in my sleep.

Totally would but I need a bath...
TBDRLIATU is a good boy.
>Dat Chitty

I keep forgetting she has a scar
Did Chrysalis burp love on him?

... what would that look like?
>Issat bitch glowering at me again?


>Dang it Chitty! Ah didn’t nuke you!

Damn son, data some impressive art
Not gonna lie... I did way better than anticipated. Yay for me.
https://i.imgur com/3qchUeg.png
Damn that is impressive, you can glean so much from just expressions
>AUJs attempts at a joke inadvertently stumbles upon the fact Pinkie is triggered by Zigger jokes
>No, it ain’t racist, Ah’m just sayin that statistically Zebras are much more likely to commit Rhymes-

Is that Mecha-Chitty all the way to the right?
Yes, I'll admit, it's been awhile since I've done anything mecha chitty related
>Spike Guards against malley hungry Rarity

Pure bro
Looks more like someone made a Chigger joke

You here? I kinda need to ask you something, about the you know what I'm getting... impatient, six+ months is a long ass time to wait.
I am here!

Which thing? There’s three of them.
AUJ shes right there the fuck
Three!? What happened to four!? Actually, no wait! Forget about the other ones, I'm talking about the thing that I wanted to do before I was sent around the country but you didn't cause of the longness.

I don't think I can wait any more, I've been wanting to see the reaction since forever... do we really need to wait anymore?
Four through six isn’t that old! They’re only two month at best!

Oh. That. Well... I’d hate to make you wait longer, it really would be quite cruel. And it would be some time before the reveal...

You know what? You go ahead if you can’t take it! The story part can come later!
I can't! It needs to be here and I will not let this fucking range ban mess with it even a little I'll resend them to you if I have too, you post them so everyone can see! Just remember to spoil it though~
You don’t have to resend them, but I’m not near my computer. Can you wait till tonight?

Actually wait, check anyway, I don't remember if I gave you all of them or not.
Now that’s cruel. Fair, considering, but cruel.

>I’m sorry!


>I said I’m sorry!


>I didn’t know, this thing is huge, I can’t spot everything! I can’t see every inch of the place!




>M-miss hedgehog.


>I’ll build you a new one.

“Meep meep.”
So what's the description of Altwi? Anything concrete yet, or may I have at it?
Pretty sure she's just been described as Twilight, but wearing power armor.
It’s just Twi in form fitting armor
>but wearing power armor.
>Twi in form fitting armor

Heh...Heheheheheheh HA HAHA HA HAHAHAHA!
Good laugh

Spike stares at the wall.

“You okay, buddy?”

Spike stares at the wall.

“Look, I know you want to help, but sometimes ponies just have to sort things out on their own.”

Spike stares at the wall.

“Sometimes ponies have feelings they need to deal with internally and others, try as they might, just can’t help them through it. They want to, they need to, but ultimately others just can’t help out no matter how much they want to. It’s not easy, its not simple, but it’s something they need for themselves. You get it?”

Spike stares at the wall.

“I think you do.”


Spike charges headlong into the wall.

“Or not.”
Sebjek and Delight story update today or tomorrow?
That's cute
Not today, maybe tomorrow. Unless Delight-Anon wants to jump in and move it forwards, you can do literally anything you want and I can roll with it. Most of my stuff comes up off the spot
That explains so much



>Sorry for charging into your bathroom, Rarity-


"Now, do it again, but with FEELING!"

>...D-Do I have too?

"We're either doing this right or not at all!"
T minus 30-40 minutes to THAT
We will hold you to that.
https://i.imgur com/6IsX7yk.png
If all that teasing was just for this, I will kill you myself
What’s in the box!? What’s in the baashhhhxx
You need to understand, this was IT. This was going to be THE thing. THE THING. I'll let KKA explain if he sees the need too but I'm so damn excited for it you don't even know... I'm bouncing in my chair damn it.
Give me another nine minutes, my computer just hard crash.led
File: Spoiler Image (1.47 MB, 825x1245)
1.47 MB
1.47 MB PNG

Spoiled because I SWORE I clicked the box but alas!
I can't believe you've done this...
File: Spoiler Image (785 KB, 825x1245)
785 KB
785 KB PNG
Don't look at those scribbles! Unless you want spoilers!
AGAIN, I can't believe you've done this...

Are you trying to get us lynched!?
File: Spoiler Image (520 KB, 2477x1801)
520 KB
520 KB PNG
AHA! It's not me! I did click the box that time! IT WAS CHECKED! I MADE DAMN SURE! So I did check it the first time!

4chan you're drunk but please work
At this rate I'm going to turn myself to Liam...
File: Spoiler Image (2.21 MB, 1428x1714)
2.21 MB
2.21 MB PNG
Now, for those curious, what the original plan was, Spoiler related was supposed to be at the tail end of Blue, when the pair were all by themselves. Then Joe got dragged across the country and couldn't finish it, I would have taken another week to do it myself after the final battle I had to focus on, it was a mess. So, it never came to be.

Or... did it?

Did you miss out? Or was it merely delayed? Until we see each other again...
Oh shit I take everything back
>We missed out on this
On the one hand, fuck the Blue Arc for not dying sooner.

On the other, FUCK I would have liked thiss
Well I'm fucking blown away
On the one hand I’m glad I can see this amazing work. On the other, I wonder if waiting would’ve been better
I love that, just from these, you can see the story... and that Faust’s favorite is Celly
Yeah, prolonging Blue, even for this, wasn't worth it. Blue was dead and should stay dead, so I very much hope you have plans in the future.

Oh well, guess that clears that up.
It was supposed to be the golden carrot after being beaten with the stick for so damn long...

KKA, you posted the old one damn it! Remember I said I had to fix the eyes! https://i.imgur com/qRBnI3J.png

>On the other, I wonder if waiting would’ve been better
I'd have an Azkaban meme for you if I could post it.

>Dat spoiler
Hush you, I just... never got around to it...
>Yeah, prolonging Blue, even for this, wasn't worth it. Blue was dead and should stay dead, so I very much hope you have plans in the future.

Yeah, that's what was decided in the end.
>Remember I said I had to fix the eyes!

I actually didn't, it's been so long, and even so this is the one I've been keeping close to my hard drive heart for so long, I just had to let it see the sun.
>Or... did it?
>Did you miss out? Or was it merely delayed? Until we see each other again...

You, uh, you already said you had plans...
>Get home
>Decide to see how /pa/ is doing.
>"Oh cool, Joe did an art dump! Lemme just login and-"
>Reach the spoiler posts

>and even so this is the one I've been keeping close to my hard drive heart for so long, I just had to let it see the sun.

Did you really hold onto these pics for 6+ months?

Damn, thats fucking adorable.
He told me, that since he thought I was dead/gone, that he was going to use it when it finally was time as a last hurrah for me in my memory... I have never felt so loved in my life. Of course I had to ruin the sentiment by being alive but yeah!
At last, the teasing ends.

And it's so pretty.
KKA is a loyal husbando. 6 months for his Joehorse is nothing
As warm as Twokisses.
give this man release.

But we'd rather have you alive than a storybook ending. We can handle real life with real Joes!

Even if this being the last Joe pic would've been one fucking HELL of a finale.
If you want to put them in, go for it! FULFILL THE NEED!
Can you imagine that? A year or so goes by, with just fond memories of the your resident artfriend only for BLAM! One last pic done years in advance to pop up... It would have been a holy fuck moment that would have sent every /pa/l to tears
That armor design is fucking brilliant
It would have been magical.

But, at the same time, we got a Joe still alive out of the deal, so I'll stick with what I got. Ghosts don't do artdumps. Or... do they?
Unless someone found my pre-death Zoot pics, then I'm pretty sure that would have been the last art of mine you'd see
Right? Every design is there, and more are hinted. It's art.



Ok, real talk, I've got something that I'm probably not going to finish and will probably redo at some point in an entirely different way, you guys wanna see it or just let it sit in my folder to rot?
Show it!
Show it! All art is always better!
Ok, here it is
https://i.imgur com/isHGkQ7.png
Damn son
That's not art it's a fucking jumpscare
>Lookout she’s coming right at us!
Why DO we hate that eye so much anyway?
Heres the Chitty Line art
https://i.imgur com/s1PuOwn.png

And the original sketch that's positively ancient... like reading the story as it happened ancient.
https://i.imgur com/oG7V255.png

Clearly the part he needs fixing is more work on DAT ASS

That was just placeholder! My asses are fine!
That second one is weirdly "Storybook" looking, isn't it? Like I could see that as a cover for a book.
>My asses are fine!

Damn right they are

Looks so fine her mama divine
Very much storybook feel for the second, mostly because that Celestia is very... Last-Unicorn ish?
There are so many details in that damn armor! The symbolism alone is amazing but every little thing just screams "Look at me, can you guess what I am!?"

And the cutiemark/heart thingy in the chest just makes me wanna daww so damn hard!

I'm glad you guys like it, I spent a good... two-three hours tweaking it.
i'm surprised it was just that much!
I'm an armor guy ha ha, why do you think I'm so excited about Altwi?
Because you love TEASING US

Ok yeah, but still though, I'm excited to craft new armor~
This is gonna be wicked
Ew, chiggers
"That still only counts as one!"
-Gimli son of Gloin
What's fluttershy up to?

>Don't drop a rock on it.

"Technically, this meteorite is made out of nickle and candy-"

>Don't drop that on it.

"Can I drop a cow on it?"


"What about a dow? It's like a cow, but down!"


"As in sad, not... good gracious Fluttershy! I don't make fun of the disabled!"

>You gave Scootaloo a card that says 'shoot for the sky' for her birthday.

"And a cannon! I put it in context!"

>They have a way to turn you inside out, stop provoking them.

"Yes, I do wonder what magical mcguffin they suddenly have that just so happens to be able to take out the strongest being in the world but not everyone else they have now! Pink throne of puffing? Magical cucumber of plotfucking? Perhaps-"

>We'll find out eventually and you can get your last minute revenge.

"...Fluttershy, did you just say something savvy?"


"I have never been this happy in my entire life."

https://vimeo com/325263943

It wasn’t long after the ‘meeting’ that the pink princess made her way from the room, yet the pair did not follow her.

“Hey, Shining? Can we talk for a second?”

One held back the other, despite his much more impressive size. A simple word was all that was needed as soon as the princess had gone from the room.

“Sure, about what?”

Though the stallion’s face was calm, almost innocent, it would be impossible to miss the barely hidden bundle of upset feelings toiling away beneath the shorter of the pair. It took several calming breaths before he could be calm enough to summon magic to finally shut the door, and several more before he could speak again clearly.

“I’m giving you a lot of benefits of the doubt here. I know that you, specifically your universe, have had very bad run ins with the changelings, I know things got worse, things turned sour fast, and that had to leave a lot of really bad thoughts and memories with you. I understand that, I really do. I also understand that for you, personally, the topic of changelings is sour. Out of everyone in the whole world right now, I think I’m the only one who can really understand that particular sore spot that likely hasn’t healed for you. I know, like you know, what happened, and how we felt afterwards. I’m giving you a lot of leeway here, I understand you. But that’s why I made it clear who she was and what she meant to me before you ever came here, you acted completely inappropriately and you have to-“

The stallion stopped his rant suddenly, one eye beginning to twitch when he noticed that while it appeared the other stallion was listening, he was also in the middle of doing something that undercut a lot of the attention he was giving.

“Stop that!”


The white hoof froze mere inches from his mouth, the soft fluffy treat on the end of it balancing precariously near it. He remained still, unmoving, and seemingly listening to the smaller royal.

Then it began to edge closer to his mouth.

“Stop that!”

He nodded, accepting.

Then popped the thing right between two white lips and happily munched away.

“You need to listen to me.”

“I am listening! I hear you! It’s just...”

Another small white square went down into his mouth.

“These things are addicting. Crazy addicting. I’ve had marshmallows before, who hasn’t, but these things are just… weirdly strong! What’s in them?”


Once more he froze, now unsure about the food in his hold.

“See? If this is going to make you stop, you’re obviously... seriously?”

In response, the tall alicorn shamefully chewed.

“You realize the changeling you just acted so rudely to is the one who made those.”

Yet again the hoof stalled.

For once, it remained still.

“Really? But... they have branding.”

He squinted at the bag, emblazoned by a bright and colorful sign that said “Malleys!” Upon the strange wrapping. It wasn’t quite plastic, yet it didn’t feel flimsy or cheap.

“Auntie Pinkie showed her how, she even showed how to make non-plastic wrappers. She was worried it would taint the flavor.”

He studied each one with a new eye. It did seem a little more fluffy than expected, now that he knew enough to ponder it. The quality, no doubt, was quite high class.


“She got upset when she realized how much we were spending on it, found out the materials were far cheaper to make a lot more, found out she could share, and that was that.”

The bag crinkled in his hooves as they examined it. Turning, twisting, checking it over and over. The more he looked, the more care he realized had been put into a simple bag.

He snorted when he realized it even had dietary information.


“She did all of this because she loves it when they make others happy... because they made her happy. Because she wasn’t when she had them the first time. She was scared, and worried that things would come down, and feeling like she didn’t know where her home was.”

The voice had begun to crack before he stopped, taking just long enough to recollect it before returning once more.

“She wasn’t a thing that hurt us. She wasn’t one of those creatures who tried to break out home. She wasn’t a monster... she was a scared little filly who didn’t know where she belonged, yet, and these things? They helped with that. They helped show her there was something here for her, something that could make her happy. Something she could share.”

All through the speech, the tall alicorn hadn’t even looked to his unicorn double.

He still did not.

“That’s why she made those just for you, so you could see that even though you weren’t in your home, there’s something for you here. She wanted you to feel welcome, like she had been. Because she cares.”

Not until the silence lasted so long, he had no choice except to look and see the frowning face.

“So even if you can’t treat her like what she is, my daughter, at least treat her as a little filly who just wants you to notice she put on a dress because she thought you’d like it. Even if you don’t think so, the truth is, I’m special to her, and I take this very seriously. And I am never, ever, going to let someone with my face disappoint her like that.”

Two faces, so very similar, so very alike, frowned at each other for some time. Neither held real malice or anger, one barely held anything at all when it looked to the righteous defensive one that was it’s mirror. They stayed like that, both seeming to wait for the other to make a move, to try something.

It was the alicorn who finally did just that, with a smile.


“I guess I should apologize. So… Sorry. I was trying not to react negatively to her, seeing her face made me think of the past. The terrible… terrible things that happened before. You know what I mean.”

He did.

Without question, he did understand, and that’s why he let the intense glare finally drop.

“I guess seeing her just made me think of that day, back when we were still under her control. She could have been ours, couldn’t she?”

Most of the fire in his heart was extinguished, put out by the wash of cold that rushed over his heart when he thought of those days, that time, those events in his life. He had moved past it, he knew. He did not let them hold sway over him, not anymore.

“I thought about that time a lot afterwards. More than you, I guess.”

He would not begrudge the other for lacking the same feeling.

“I guess I went overboard trying not to negatively react, guess I figured not looking right at her would at least keep me from looking upset. Can see that backfired…”

The alicorn turned around and made his way to the door before any response could be made, opening it wide and gently nodding to insist they move on.

“I’ll try better this time. It’s pretty obvious she’s… important, isn’t she?”

“That, myself, is an understatement.”

The casual air was back , the smiles on both sides were back, and everything seemed to be back to what they should be when the smaller of the pair followed him.

Perhaps it was desperation to see himself as he wished it, taller, stronger and yet still a good pony, yet the prince found himself willing to push his feelings aside and let the other version of himself try anew. Mistakes had been made, yet could be forgiven, he reasoned.

He understand wanting to make those mistakes, after all.

“Come on, we’ve got dinner soon, try to behave yourself?”

“I make no promises, my jokes get rowdy sometimes. Guard barracks have no ears, after all.”


The large elbow nudged him and brought back waves of nostalgia. It had been fun back in the day.

Idly, the shorter stallion wondered what Spearhead was up to.

“I’ll keep it safe for kids though, innuendo they would miss only!”

“They live around “Not-mom”, they get it.”

“This is such a weird place…”

It felt good to be smiling again.

“But a good one. Things worked out better here, didn’t they?”

“In some ways.”


The taller stallions smile turned sad.

“I think I know why, too.”

The others, curious.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I think the Cadence in my world reacted… worse, I guess, to the wedding.”

“What do you mean?”

The last of the smile had gone, leaving only sadness.

“I don’t know how to put it. Back when we were dating, it was all wild, and crazy, and every kind of ‘fun’ under the sun, wasn’t it?”

A bright blush spread across the stallion’s face.

“Yeah, she was pretty wild. Got us banned from the Gala that time.”

“You too? Ha! Some things never change. But after the wedding, things… changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“…Don’t worry about it. Let’s just say things obviously went a little different for you, she didn't change quite as much.”

He hadn’t even seen it emerge, yet one second there was a bare hoof, the other it held a single one of the bright pink feathers that had been on his daughter’s wing.


It suddenly vanished in a flash of light, tossed away without ever leaving a mess.

“But, for the better. No point in dwelling on that, you avoided it and I am, lets just say, far past that and much happier with my current crop on the field. Let’s go meet, eat and…”

The blue magic on his horn seemed to turn a little sorrowful.

“…see if I can apologize enough to get a refill.”


For as imposing as he could look sometimes, the stallion could pull off an impressive wibble when he wanted to.

The way he looked when he shook the now empty bag upside down in hopes of Mallycrumbs to appear would have his daughter holding up tens across the board.

“I’m sure she will…’

He tried to focus on the amusing sight in front of him, yet he just couldn’t stick to it. Something about what he had said was bothering the prince of the Empire. Something was sticking with him, and he couldn’t quite shake it off.

“Excellent! Let’s go then, and make your daughter smile.”

He could only push it aside, knowing it would be back later.

“Both of them, of course.”

It would have to wait.

Wait is this implying what I think it is?
>Joe and KKA post at the same time

I know, it was spooky~
Ohhhhhh fuuuuuuuu
Angry pinkie is mad because no pink

Uh oh
What does it mean!?
I get the Angry Pink

Don't get that
I think it's implying Salt things Caddy stopped having sex with him cause Bugsex
More ponk, more yes


I don't know how to feel about that.
That actually isn’t much of a stretch, we did make it canon they fucked all the time before getting married and now it’s like 0
Is it bad I was more impressed how fast you could correct things?

1, das dark
2, shiny no

Not really, I mean be impressed if you think it's impressive, I'm just glad that I CAN fix things that fast.
>She could have been ours, couldn’t she?”
Ouch. That was a double punch shame and painful

>Got any threes?

“I told you, we’re playing poker!”

>I know, I just want to know if I should raise or not.

“That’s not how you play the game!”

>I mean it is if you want to win.

“You suck at every game!”

>Only because you don’t play them my way! Maud let them play my way.

“Maud is a doofus!”




She hugs her sister.

“Why… why are you in the Crystal Empire?”

~I heard you talking about me like I wouldn’t hear it.~

“Aha. Well, about that, allow me my rebuttal.”

~Please do.~



~…Were you reaching for something?~

“I forgot I don’t have him with me.”



“Well, in this particular scenario, I must go with plan be. WHEELCHAIR SAND!”

She reaches into her seat and flicks sand into Maud’s eyes.

~It burns.~


She flicks her directional joystick on her wheelchair. Nothing happens.

“Shit, out of juice.”

~Owww. Using tiny rocks against me is an insult. This will not stand.~

They stand in silence.

>So, Maud! This is my friend DT!

~She seems like a jerk.~

>She kinda is.

>It burns

My sides

“So, that dude, totally sexy, right?”

>Ah’ guess?

“Yeahhh, he’s big, and has big wings, which are… sexy, right?”

>Sure? Wings don’t do much for me.

“Beh, probably a Pegasus thing. Because pegasi mares, we love big wings.”

>Ya’ll have never mentioned that to me, ever.

“Well, you’re not a Pegasus.”

>Or Cadence.

“She’s a race traitor.”

>Ya’ ain’t gotta try this hard to show yer-

“I AM!”


“So how about that Hoofball game?”

>Ya’ll can’t back out of it that easily.


>... is a little sunny.

Is this how Rainbow Dash spends her days? Accosting her friends to talk abut how sexy random pegasi stallions are?

>Okay, so we should not have tried to do the potluck.

“I think it was a good idea! Who doesn’t love potlucks? Bring food and good times for all!”

>Right, that was my thinking. It made sense, right? However…

He looked to the griffons, mostly with fish.
He looked to the Diamond Dogs, that had some kind of meat.
He looked to the Yaks, who’s spicy food seemed to be on fire.
He looked to the dragons who had rocks.
He looked to the Hippogriffs who also had seaweed.
And then he looked to the pony with hayburgers.

>I think we might’ve forgotten some cultural barriers.

“The intent was there?”


>Oh no.
“Sweet Note’

>Why are you giving me burnt food?

“It’s singed! That’s all!”

>Why are you giving me singed food?

“Because you’re hungry.”

>I am not.

“Sugar Bean I can literally go get some instruments and pay the xylophone on you right now.”

Sunset looks back, noticing her ribs are showing.

>Not that bad.


>Which chef made this? They need to be fired.

“I made it, actually.”


She takes a bite.

>…meh, not that singed.

“Thanks sugar bean! I tried!”
What's Jetset and 007 up to?

Spike pulls back on the lawnmower.

“Okay, how does this have anything to do with getting inside?”

He pulls the chord again.

“I’m legit lost, help me out here.”

He pulls harder.

“Is this a mental breakdown? Am I witnessing a mental breakdown? Well, stop that. I don’t like that.”

He pulls one last time.

“And here comes the pain-‘

>I forgot to fill it up.

He picks it up, and wheels it away.

Didn't AJ tell him to do something?
Yeeeeah, I'm wondering, too.
Crap, I'm not going to have time for a real recap. Er...
>Spike talks to Altwi in her universe, meets a dudebro version of himself, and then resolves to go find HIS Twilight
There better be relationship fixing in Spike's and Twilight's future or there will be hell to pay

>Stop bothering them.

To anyone else, had they been on the road mere miles out from the peak of Canterlot, they would have likely thought the place haunted when a voice suddenly rang out from seemingly nowhere at all.

"Tell them to stop getting in my way."

They would have been sure it was haunted when a voice answered right back.

>No, they're doing a good job, you stop.

"No one told you to go and look for her."

>Actually, my Queen was so impressed that I-


>-figured out where her beau was, that she said she wouldn't be upset if she found out I was looking for this one.

"That does not sound like her telling you to look for anything. In fact, it sounds like the broken resignation of a far inferior Queen to my own who realized she cannot even keep a lacking agent on a leash."

>Well, what did yours say?

"Shut up, that's what."

>She didn't tell you to look for her?

"She, unlike your Queen, knows of my abilities and asked me to find her. She knows that within mere hours, I will have her returned."

>It's been over a day.

"Mere hours from this point."

>Damn it, I really don't have time for this.

"Then leave."


The forest fell into deathly silence, not even a bird tweeting to break the noise.

"You didn't leave."

>GAH!... Wait, why are you still here!?

"I knew you could not sense me."

>I wasn't trying to, I was trying to figure out the quickest route to the nearest train station.

"Taking a train? Pathetic."

>Oh, what, you cross country by walking?

"As an agent should. Unseen, undetected, unknown."

>Okay, so, what I do just by turning into a random pony and getting on a train?

"Shut up."

>No, you shut up!

Once more, empty silence.

>I did not think that would work.

"I'm waiting for you to leave."


Not a sound was made, not a single rustle of the leaves or the crackling of branches. Not even wind to break the deathly still.

>Are you following me!?

Until that.


"No, you happen to be going in the direction I'm searching, coincidence? I think not, stop tracing my path."

>Fine, okay?

Once more, silence-

>Stop following me!

"Mere coincidence."


"I told you, you just so happen to be going in the path I am taking."

>I went on a wildly different route that time!

"Then as with most events, you merely lucked into choosing the right way. Your fortune outfavors your mind yet again."

>Why are you so angry at me?

"I'm currently on a mission, not in couples counseling."

>I have enough couples thank you!

"I saw that."

>And stop stalking me with that!

"It is my job."

>Well then do your other job and leave!

"Very well."


>I didn't mean go slightly to the side and then stop!

"I'm plotting my course."

>Why!? Why are you-wait, are you waiting for me to move?

"Of course not."

>You... you're waiting for me to get up and go, aren't you? Then you're going to follow me!

"Absurd, if I wanted to play the lottery, I'd load a bullet into the chamber and pull the trigger. I'll be left with more intact brain cells that way."

>If you want to go in my direction, just say so.

"You are mistaken, and a fool if you think I'll fall for such deflection. You are merely pressing your own desire to follow me onto someone else in hope they will not see the truth. Obviously."

>Fine, then go ahead!

"And thus, he reveals his plan."

>I'm serious, go on, go whichever way you want, and I'll go the opposite.

"Surely you don't think I'll fall for that."

>I'm serious, whichever route you pick, no matter what it is, I go the other way. That's on my Changeling Honor.

"That's an oxymoron."


"...Very well."

Silence, at last.

>You didn't move at all.

"Yes I did."

>I can see you!

"No, you can't."

>I can literally see you, right this second!

"You're lying."

It was almost refreshing that the silence be broken by a rustle of branches, something flying through the air, and a muted grunt.


>There! See?

"Don't know what you're talking about."

>I just hit you!

"That's a joke, you couldn't hit me if I was glued down."

>You have a knife in your shoulder, right now!

"Of course not."

The rustle returned, and another grunt of pain in there.

"See? You clearly are the one with a knife in your shoulder."

>Okay, one, I should have seen that coming-

"Obviously, if you had the skill."

>-two, you clearly see how this proves where you were, right?

"...no it doesn't."

>Are you fucking kidding me!?

"You are loud."

>Who cares! We can clearly see each other enough to get stabbing!

"You hit a tree, and it clearly did not like it."

>Bleeding, on the ground, right now!

"Trees bleed, it's called sap. Any relation? I've heard that said around you a lot-'

>Oh dear Love, I can't believe you're the only guy I hang out with.

Real, deathly silence followed that. No more subdued noises, no more anything, just silence.

"Fine, I might be utilizing your abilities, which have shockingly proven to be a little above average in regards to tracking. I might just barely admit finding the dropout or Sunset were something I couldn't do."

>Thank you! Finally!

"That is the closest you will ever come to me complimenting you. I'll make you a deal, help me find this mare and I'll make sure you don't end up in the infirmary half dead from yet another botched mission you've done."

>...I hate that you're actually making a good offer here, considering.

"I'm well aware of the fact if our medical care wasn't free, I'm pretty sure Equestria would literally own you several times over."

>Unlike reality, where that's you?

"Funny, I didn't know you could tell jokes. Do changelings eat and then regurgitate humor as well?"

>No, we only puke if it's as bad as yours.

"At least when you finally realize your lacking abilities, you can make a living letting ponies laugh at you."

~S-shut up!~


"What the utter fuck is that thing?"


More rustles, a grunt of pain, and then silence again.

>That 'thing' is Bubbles, and you will treat her as such.

~Y-yeah! B-b-be nice!~

"Is she afraid of me?"

>She's afraid of a lot of things.

"...the giant, and when I say that I do in fact mean that, giant Timberwolf that looks like it could tear the castle of Equestria apart is afraid of 'a lot of things'."

>Mostly needles.


>I'm describing them, sweetie, I'm not using them.

"Is there a reason you brought this one?"

>Because the vast majority of decoys, paths and magic that Applejack used is plant magic, which Bubbles just so happens to be uniquely able to detect, sniff out and find differences in to a level that even the greatest terramage would find beyond their ability. She can search out even the faintest hint of empty magic, and avoid it while we search out the lingering residue she would have left behind as she walked away. If there is so much as a twinkle on the grass left by a hoof, she can smell it, and she will find it. Of all the beings in all the world, none are better to track her down than this one. And that, Jetset, is why my Queen believes in me.

Silence, real, almost broken silence.

"...Yes, well, your knives look like snot."

Strangely, a rustle.

>Buttercup, keep looking.

~Want to talk more?~



The shadows of the treeline moved, even if there wasn't a single sound to accompany it. For a massive creature of wood and fangs, she could be rather quiet when she wanted to be.

"You sound tense."


"...Was it the knife comment?"

>That cut me deep and you know it.

"Consider it even for you stabbing me in the flank."

>I will not.

Without another word, without a sound, two agents from two different worlds got to work to find their wayward royal.

~Seven and Pony talk a lot, do all A-gents do that?~

>Using Bubbles, a TIMBERWOLF, which is made of plant magic, to suss out specific kind of plant magic

Holy fuck that's brilliant. Legit 007 is damn brilliant.

So was that whole story by the by, those two henpecking each other was damn hilarious.
That back and forth was fucking legendary.
And AUJ has absolutely no idea he has her at his disposal...
Is 7 seriously one of the most competent changelings? That's depressing.
Nether would Altwi or the others, she's unique in that not only would she be able to track AUJ like nobody else could, being literally part wolf part magic plant, but she's the one wildcard nobody could possibly plan for, because even if someone could get a Timberwolf before, they couldn't get them to talk.

7 has some powerful cards in his deck.

>Thank you once again for saving Scootaloo, Ms. Person!

"Yeah! Say thank you, Scootaloo!"

~Thank you, Scootaloo.~

>"HAHAHA! That Sccootaloo!"


>Oh, good, she laughed! Kinda. Ah was beginnin' to feel a little dumb continuin' that bit...

+Well, at least you didn't haphazardly jump out in front of a train.+

"Yeah, that would have been REALLY dumb!"

~My stomach is full. That is all that matters.~

>But, in all seriousness, thanks. What's your name, anyways?

+You may call me Vermillion.+

>Can Ah call ya Ms. Vermy?


"How about Villi-Milli?"

+Absolutely not.+

~How about Vivi?~

+How very coincidental, but just call me Robin if "Vermillion" is too much.+

>Ok! What brings you to Ponyville, Robin? Are ya joinin' the Guard here?

+No. I partly came here looking for that Apple Bloom thing.+

"Hey, now! That's not nice! Applebloom's not a mere thing! She's an equine being with equine feelings and equine dreams!"

>Ah got a feeling she's talkin' about Scootaloo's breakfast and not me.

+Your name's Apple Bloom?+


+Apple Bloom, as in the sister of Princess Applejack?+

>The one and only! Of me, I mean, 'cause there's another Applejack here.

~That means there's another you, though.~

>Yeah, but she ain't here, so I'm still the one and only Applebloom!

+You wouldn't happen to have seen the Alternate Princess Applejack recently, would you?+

>Nope! Why?

+Because Princess Applejack told me, among others, to find her and make sure she's ok.+

>Why... wouldn't she be ok?"

+...You heard about that monstrous airship that appeared yesterday, correct?+

>Well, yeah.

"Kinda hard to miss."

~I don't miss that stomach-ache we got. Blegh.~

+Well, in an admittedly impressive display of magic, she tried to shoot it out of the sky.+


+It... didn't quite work out as intended.+
The heart was there
https://i.imgur com/zi4HXwg.png
I dun geddit
Did she do good in maths?
Searching for PL 3.0 give me nothing, so instead, I just say INTO THE WIKI IT GOES
Party Land 3.0 approved?

The fires blazing in her eyes should have been a major hint ha ha.
She broke 2.0 already!?

It's not even open yet!
I honestly thought that was a steamy pie or something, like a reward from home.
Quads of laughter
That's what makes it GREAT! She's already prepared for when the insurance policy kicks in!
Pinkie pulled a Thomas Edison, I see.

Enjoy the fires children.
Oh that pink of ours! She likes the burning!



~A whorehouse?~

>It’s the last place Ah’ thought you’d look!

“How do you pay for this?”

>…last place Ah’ thought you’d look.
How upset would Applebloom be over her sister getting beat up and the person who did it going unpunished?
Ah beg your FLIPPIN PARDON!?
https://i.imgur com/JRKqtKQ.png
Joe, why do you treat us so well?
Sisterly RAGE!
This isn’t the Apple Family tradition... it’s the Apple Family DEVISTATION
Because you all are my family- no lie, I was going nuts being away for so long. Now I'm back and willing to dish out EVERY thing that I can!
She’s activated her Mango Partygone!
So, Twilight and Flash fight?
>She’s leaking blood

This is some next level shit

I do so love coming in to see the newest wonderful picture.

That’s some warm feelings right there.

About that...
I have way more pics of that fight that I sketched out, I could actually put those up when I get the time to go through my travel pile ha ha, and yes I could get that out now, though I will have to confer with my lumberjack. I don't know what was adapted or replanned because of what happened.
Oh, the lumberjack has plans...
Whatever you guys do, I'm assuming it will be quite Awesome.
It’s all we can hope.
How soon will the plans be executed?
Soon, last bit of setup/other thing is being worked on now, big event after that
So hype
Speaking of, Joe! Email!
And it’s starts again...
Princess of rage when?
But this time there will be end and it will be glorious!
What's Harry the bear up to?


Eats some fish cereal.


Scratches rear.


Adjusts picture frame.


Thinks about calling Mama bear, doesn’t.


Regrets being the law enforcement in a small town that literally has no criminals.
There is no reason to panic!

https://i.imgur com/TjUz2AC.png

None at all!
>Dat little ear wiggle
>giant man shows squiggles to horse, says it’s his “plan”
>Horse does not understand
You just know that if KKA flexed even just a tiny bit he'd rip that coat to shreds...
Y-yeah and I bet he’d be all swole too, wouldn’t that be funny?
All I can imagine is a weird combo of Johnny Bravo and Juandissimo and my sides have left this existence.
>Two madmen prepare to fuck shit up

>With ponies

>This is vital information!

“Ya’ll came into mah’ room for this? Uninvited, Ah’ might add.”

>I must know, for the sake of the children, and the world!

“Ah’ told you, she didn’t give me a curriculum, Ah’ don’t know what they’re teachin’ their kids over there.”

>…you have failed this world.
And now the painfully long wait for the usual good stuff that comes with tomorrow.
Oh no, I’ll drop something later on to end the thread right, no worries there!
Neat, can't wait.

>Okay, what happens if you… get bleached?

“I ascend to an entire new reality of whiteness. You won’t see me, you won’t even know if I’m really real or not, there will only be… whitey.”


“What happens if you get pinker?”

>I look really gross and realistic, like ripped off skin and it would turn everybody but the worst ponies off, so then we die.

“Not cool.”

>What happens if your hair turns white?

“I because invisible in the snow.”


“What happens if your hair turns blue?”

>Mr Cake thinks I’m an inverted Cup Cake from an alternate dimension and tries to convince me that it’s not cheating if it’s her from another universe.”


>Nah, he’s a loyal husbandhorse, he’d just think I was silly.”


“What happens if you turn purple?”

>Twilight figures out she never wanted to know what she looked like as a dude.

“HA HA! I love pony time.”

>This is nice.
What would this thread be like if Celestia and Luna just retired suddenly like the S9 trailer?
... surprisingly similar, assuming she still let AJ hound her.

What does Luna even do?
She has her dream scams.
It would work better then, someone has to pay the retirement fund!

“Hey, Chrysalis! Check this out!”



~Shining I think I want to fuck your sister.~
... and the problem is?


Flickering magic danced across the screen, magical symbols interlocking, weaving within one another, each time bringing a string of floating numbers just a little closer together.


Little by little, number by number, until finally the symbol in the center of it all began to stop moving. Its edges, its rings, its markings, and finally most important of all.


Its core stabilized.

The one in the chair did not, and got to spinning.

“Yes yes yes yes yes! I knew I was the smartest Twilight! This proves it, empirically!”

“Ooo~ Empirically. Someone brought out the fancy words to feel smart.”

The last shred of joy and happy spins came to a slow death, one that died little by little with every turn of her spinning chair until finally, it came to a stop.

“What do you want, Sunset?”

By coincidence or intent, the chair’s movement ceased in just the right way to square a glare right at the pony trotting into the room.

“Well, I had heard you cheering in joy, so I figured you’d finally gotten your act together and found the wayward glorified battery we need. I was coming to congratulate you.”

The purple face remained flat, and emotionless.

“I see my expectations were way too high.”

“For your information, this is a side project, one that is still very much important, I’ll have you know.”

A quick flash of magic activated the machine behind her, and it heeded her call by producing a small, flat disk about the size of her head.

“Not everything revolves around Shining’s pet project, you know, some of us have a whole bunch of projects we can work on in the meantime.”

The disk flew off, seemingly without needing any input from thea alicorn before it reached the door. Curious, if nothing else, the unicorn pressed the open button with her mechanical arm, and off it went.

She offered no more explanation after it had gone, merely resumed her work.


“Shining’s “pet project” is bigger than anything else you’re doing, I can assure you that. No matter how important what you think you have is, nothing could compare to a fraction of what we’ve made in there. Something that won’t happen until a certain someone gets off her purple ass and brings me the pony’s power.”

“I’m working on it.”

A thousand screens around her, yet never did she bother to even try to explain what any of them meant. As much as she loathed to admit it, the unicorn might be the only one in this world who could come close to understanding it.

“You need to start sending agents.”

All were dismissed with a single angry swipe of her hoof.

“That’s stupid, and you know it. One time someone stumbles upon them, and all tartarus is unleashed on us. They’ll clamp down hard and protect her if they feel we’re utilizing such horrible means to capture her, then all of this will be for nothing.”

“You’d win in a fight.”

“That’s not the point!”

Two hooves slammed down hard, shaking her chair with the force and denting her foreleg rests nearly until they broke off.

“…How much has he told you about his pet project?”

The alicorn scoffed, dismissing her with a wave.

“He told me all about the potential exploration abilities of the portal, and I agree with him. The potential for mostly lifeless planets to be stripped of resources is vast, more than you can comprehend. Imagine an entire planet that’s all but dead but filled with ores for the diamond dogs, gemstones for the dragons, fish and aquatic creatures for the hippogriffs, the list is endless. I know you need her to power the portal, but that doesn’t mean I have to like dealing with you.”

Her glare turned hard, and cold.


“I just needed to pick up a newspaper to learn everything you’ve done, Sunset, and frankly even though Shining is promising a means to revive your “Chitania’, I don’t know if it’s possible. His theories on that, what did you call it, “Hivemind” seem pretty flimsy, imagining her as she was coming back out with her mind in tact from such a place, even assuming it is real, seems unlikely at best. You’d be far better off just accepting that she’s dead, she’s gone, and if by some miracle there is some kind of magical mental residue remaining, trying to give it peace by leaving it alone. Your Chitania is dead, accept it.”

Normally, upon such angry words, the royal assumed the other would snap, get angry, dismiss her or at least laugh for her stupidity that she ‘couldn’t see’ as it so often was.

Instead, all she gained for her words was a single yellow eyebrow lifting up, curious.

One waited for the other to respond. The second seemed to have nothing to say at all.

“But fine, I accept that you know more about the portal than me and you seemingly have proven means to reach this ‘hivemind’ as you put it, so for nothing else than science I’ll bend the knee and let Shining do what he wants.”

The yellow pony snorted, and seconds later a flush crossed the purple face.

“You know what I meant.”

“Do I?”

She sang with a smile, and the princess had enough.

“I have work to do, so go back and… I don’t know, tinker with your readouts to make sure they’re right, or even better, take off that horrible thing and get a real robot leg back.”

“Huh, would have sworn you would have told me to put on my real one.”

“…why would I do that?”

She seemed strangely curious, something that finally seemed to reach the unflappable unicorn.

“Nevermind. But you’re right, I am bored, maybe I should see what your brother is up to?”


She needled, clearly looking for a response, be it good, bad or anything in between.

She once more was offset when the pony shrugged, seeming numb to the entire idea.

“He’s visiting his other version right now, but you can see if he’ll tend to you when he gets back.”

Just like that she went back to work.

The yellow mare was left uncertain. The princess she knew was many things, calm and collected on such matters was not one of them.

“I was joking, I don’t have any interest in him.”

“If you say so.”

Thankfully, for one of their sake at least, the future discussion was cut off when a Wonderbolt suddenly strode into the room unannounced and uninvited, holding in their hooves a simple long rectangular box that they presented to the mare on her chair.

It put the unicorn at such ease when she saw the alicorn every bit as confused as she was.

“Okay? And this is…”

The box was taken, opened, and its contents lifted out soon enough.

“A feather?”

Pink, strangely long yet seemingly still having some of the light fluff only present in baby pegasi as their wings began to molt and grow. It seemed much too large to be an infants feather, yet much too juvenile to be an adults.

Thankfully for both in the room, there was a letter and instructions within to clear things up.

“Excuse me, what?”

Or so it had seemed.

“What is it?”

The mare honestly shrugged, holding up both feather and note as if they were foreign objects that had fallen from space.

“Shining wants me to test this to see how much… I can’t believe I’m saying this, how much is alicorn and how much is regular pony?”

It clicked in the unicorns might like the sun rising to bring the dawn.

“Ohhhh, that’s hers. I get it.”


“…how far into reading those newspapers did you get?”

The pony stared, uncomprehending.

“You avoided looking up anything about your brother or his wife, didn’t you?”

Long, slow blinks followed.


“Well… the parts that didn’t involve you, at least? I was a little afraid of seeing what… what came after. Why? Did something happen?”

The laughter that exploded from the mare would have put Pinkie Pie herself to shame.

“Sunset? I don’t get it, what happened? Are there half-pony alicorns running around now? False alicorns with transplanted parts? I thought about trying that but found it wasn’t very sustainable, did they figure it out in your world? This seems a little young, maybe the stem cells from youth would… Sunset? Hello?”

Still positively exploding with laughter, the mare had to leave the room.

“Sunset who’s her? Why’s he asking this? This doesn’t make any sense, when we ascend we… “

Just before she left, however, she cast one final spell. One last flicker of magic, very simple, very basic. Nothing more complicated than changing the letters on the mug on her desk.

“…Number one WHAT?!”

Even long after she had gone, the laughter echoed down the halls.
What’s Salt up to here?
Place your bets, place your bets! What does the mug say?
I was gonna say that’s unrealistc, but Salt didn’t know...

>... the heck is a Milf?
Surely that isn’t what I think it is, is it?
So this twi=not evil

>Why does everyone keep making sex jokes about us!? THAT IS SUPER WEIRD!

"Heh, yeah... weird..."


"What in tarnation are you wearing?"

'I think it's called a pillow.'

>It's pronounced pillow.

"That don't sound right."

>You don't sound right.

"Ah' sound like Cheerliee, of course it ain't right! Voice spell!"

'You did look a little different.'

"You noticed the hair?"

'I did! It looks like Sweetie Belles pillow.'

"Ah' do see the resemblence."


"Ha haaa!"

'...But seriously, why the pillow-'


We're reaching critical meta!
About 50 grand in child support.
Is it actually feasible for a stallion alicorn to sire a bunch of alicorn foals.

Holy fuck their absence makes so much sense.
Get unlock, hopefully? Yes? no?
>Spike has a mission now and needs the good stuff!
The black market stuff>>33614953
>Celestia doesn’t wanna raise the sun she’s sleepy!
But she does, Or... does she?>>33616415
>Cadence is worried about the bed being set on fire, or is she?
Oh my>>33616134
>Twilight needs to be found or else someone’s gonna get it!
That someone is rarity, apparently. >>33635091
>Cloudchaser is worried about getting it too, in the wrong place!
>Cheerilee wonders if the other dimension has different textbooks!
>Whoa now, why is Sweetie Belle wearing that?
>plenty of bed fanservice!
Beds with pinks in them!



So what's the thread in one sentence?
Salt visits the Empire and the pinks are on a hunt!

>Oh no no no, I'm just curious, nothing else!

"Oh, phew!"

>That and I need to find out how much magic she has before I use her as a battery.

"Wait what?"

>Best baby!

"...I mean technically."
I mean both are immortal. MAtter of time.
And dis is bump. NEW THREAD GO
Pinkie Preview
>Salt visits the Empire and the Pinks are on a hunt!

>Here we see Applejack spreading her appleseeds…it's a little gross. Maud has been eating quite well. Flitter's story will make you cry…with pain. Granny Smith is gonna have to put down some timber wolves. Fancy Pants should have brought his pants. You won't believe what Carrot Top is blowing her top over. Bitch better have the Crusaders' money. Find out what happens next time on thread 267:Alternative Access Apples…and of course fanning the fanservice.
NEWWWW THREAD! >>33641646
God, when Sunset walked in talking like THAT my face just contorted into disgust. Hate this kinda character now
And this whole "pls bring back Chitty from deadkilldeath" thing is only and ONLY going to produce so much more rawrglb bargl angst and drama shit given her increasingly fucking antagonistic attitude that I am getting more and more disinterested in seeing her slog through becoming "good" again, it's just going to be a trudge.

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.