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Previous thread >>33301736

>Shouldn't it be Ponies ON Earth?
Yes, but PiE is tasty. PiE has had this name since 2012 and it helps convey that this is the reverse of the Anon in Equestria formula.

>Please explain.
We ask what happens when one or more ponies (or changelings, or griffons, or something else) are placed in a setting where humans are the predominant species. How does one of those adapt to living in a society where they're the odd one out, and most items aren't designed for hooves? Fictional universes are a valid setting as long as they follow those rules.

Everything else your choice!

Stories can be silly, grim, future, past, present, whatever! Ponies could be as rare as bigfoot sightings or as common as next-door neighbors! Are humans friendly or skeptical of the new arrivals? Are they even new arrivals? Are ponies made by humans, as with Browser Ponies or Hassenfield Bioengineering? Is Anon around? Is he still a jackass?

The door's wide open, so come on in!

>I don't always see this thread on the board.
We'll post a new thread on the 14th of the month if one 404s from lack of bumps. Threads roll over into the next month if there's one already up. If there's demand, we'll make a new thread before the 14th. PiE is in AiE threads if there's no PiE thread up.

>Who's this pegasus OC that keeps getting posted here?
Her name is Pillow Case. She was in one of the first PiE stories posted on 4chan and has become the thread mascot. She likes soft things and wearing her hoodie. She's rather short for a pegasus, and would appreciate if you don't remind her of that.

Useful links
PiE Pastebin: pastebin.com/u/Ponies_in_Earth
FAQ: pastebin.com/RjGxp6Mn
Images: derpy.me/PiE_Pictures
Threads: derpy.me/PiEThreadArchive
Recommended Stories: pastebin.com/m8YWvb4k
Authors: pastebin.com/KMbc65Zk
Images: derpy.me/BrowserPonies
Threads: derpy.me/BrowserPonyArchive
Writing guides: pastebin.com/V1ujiyJt
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Pilly is so adorable that it probably is illegal.
Is this possible to inject Pillyhuanas?
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>I dunno if there's a door on your side, but over here it's just flat
>when hippie pone discovers that we do drugs too, but not to expand our consciousness
...well, some humans claim they do. As I do not use drugs, I have no idea whether that is possible, plausible, or makes sense. Personally I expand my mind by learning new things, but far be it from me to tell anyone how to live.
What drugs do poners use recreationally?

>veterinary large-animal tranquilizers, probably
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"What drugs do you do? Marijuana?"
>"You wanna what?"
"No, the drug. Marijuana."
>"Which one do you wanna?"
"I'm asking you if you like cannabis."
>"But can it?"
>"Can a bis?"
"Are you already high?"
Heh, this horse, it's Can-I-bus.

Stoner poner is much cuter and more fun than most real-world potheads. I approve.
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She is not a stoner!
You're not fooling us. She may be able to conceal the red eyes with Visine(tm) but she smells like weed all the time.
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The smell can be dealt with. We just need to catch her and hold her down.
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Poni said it's medicinal, man
He has ponitis
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>Swelling of the poni

Weed doesn't cure obesity.
Poni said you're not a doctor, man
There is a fatal equestrian disease where the saturation of the coat grows stronger and stronger until they're a bright neon abomination. The name of the disease is lite-blight
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>past "neon" stage poni coat changes into colors man and mare were not meant to see
>if afflicted poni looks at herself she may also be driven insane
Jesus Christ, how horrifying.
>>33507057 >>33507089
Mmm . . . Neon, reminds me of a certain city I heard about.
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Rarely, some ponies are immune to this disease.
Unless their gray coat intensifies into something resembling a headache-inducing static.
Though that might've been caused by the pony herself, the jury's still out on that one.
>"..I should have known better than to let you relay Equine history to the rest of humanity, Anonymous."
>'Aww c'mon, you gotta admit it's pretty bitchin'.'
Is it Tokyo-3?
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"Hey Rainbow Dash."
>"Hey kid!"
"Why have you been waiting by the road for the last two hours?"
>"I'm sitting on a snowbank, actually. I thought you would've caught that one."
"Oh. But why?"
>"I'm waiting for the salt spreader."
"You're waiting for the snow plows? The weatherman said the storm won't get here until tomorrow."
>"Maybe, but the plow crews still do prep before a snow storm. You know what that means!"
"I don't, actuall-"
>"Free salt! The best kind, if you ask me."
"You're sitting by in the road for salt."
>"I am. Last I heard there were no rules against having more than one addiction."
"So you've got the need for speed, you're a pedo, and...?"
>"See? That's already two. Being a salt-oholic isn't a big deal. A-and I can stop if I want. I don't need salty, savory snacks, honest!"
"That was three S's in a row."
>"Was it? I thought it was two like usual, but I was feeling a bit distracted."
"I think you have a problem."
>"We literally went over this seconds ago. I have THREE problems."
"Is there a salt-oholics anonymous?"
>"Probably not. I hear humans can't eat salt straight. It's the way it tastes for you guys or something like that. Your loss."
>"Hang on, did you say Anonymous salt-oholics or salt-oholics anonymous? Either way, I doubt it."
"You're a weird pony."
>"And you love me for it."
"But I don't love you."
>"Suuuure you don't. Everybody wants a taste of the Rainbow."
"Whatever. Enjoy your road salt."
>"That's what I'm planning on!"

>Get jackpot trips
>Notice typo from an edit I just made
Gosh darnit.
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I had a sensible chuckle.
Poni no

This is not the right season for sunbathing
Poni gives good head and can afford to travel.
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Guys check out my new dog from Equestria
I think it's like some kind of terrier mix
I believe the second part. Poni has wings, so all she needs is lodging and food. Poni is not for lewd so I doubt the first bit.
It is in the southern hemisphere. And perhaps Florida, so long as lookouts are posted to give warning of Florida Man.
Do all Equestrian dogs have autism or is it just that one?
>Poni is not for lewd
How poni make babies?
I can no longer find the original animation, but imagine a mommy poni and a daddy pony standing side by side and nuzzling one another with their eyes closed, with little thought bubbles coming out of their heads forming a floating glowing heart shape. The heart shape swells up into a bubble and bursts in a flash of light, and where it was, a babby poni appears, who will fall to the floor if the parents aren't quick enough. That's how equine babby is formed.
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>"..Twilight, this portal is not dragon-safe."
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>and where it was, a babby poni appears, who will fall to the floor if the parents aren't quick enough
Well, at least it explains the… uh, "oddity" of some poners — their parents' reflexes weren't… sufficient.
would boop/10
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I wish it's true.
>Derpy is so derpy that she derped her own wings off
>"Anon, c'mon! Do it!"
>'Do what now?'
>"Anooon! He can't beat Frisbee if you don't give him your spirit energy, now c'mon do it!"
>Poor Poni
>She doesn't know what reruns are
>Anon sighs and halfassedly raises a hand as he opens the fridge with the other
>"Did he get it? Did he get my spirit energy so he can boop Frisbee?"
>'And with no time to spare! I sure hope it's enough this time.'
>"Oh I'm sure it was enough.. at least, to keep us safe for THIS week."
Poni sees this:

What's the reaction and how to fix it?
This explains everything! Filthy humans and their lewds...
I imagine ponies are more than a little unhappy, but perhaps point out to them:

Their world had multiple meat-eating intelligent species, so the prospect shouldn't have come as a complete surprise.

Also, note that we do not do this sort of thing to creatures that can speak and reason. Poni is not on the menu.

Also, note that no scrap is wasted--in part because we have respect for living things, in part because there are ancient traditions growing out of profound poverty in which nothing that had any potential value either as food or as something that could be traded would be wasted. Internal organ meats are made into sausage and scrapple (I know, it's a Pennsylvaniaans thing, but Spain and Latin America have similar traditional uses). Hide is made into leather, bones that aren't boiled down for stock are carved into all manner of useful items, and so on.

I do not expect poni to be happy about it, but perhaps an understanding could be reached.

Or you could just offer poni bacon. That might work too.
>You offer poni the bacon
>They try it
>"... Nope. It's got this weird greasy, chewy texture that's just... no. Can I spit this out somewhere?"
"Use your napkin."
>Poni puts the napkin up to their mouth and spits quietly, folding the napkin over once they're done
"I'm guessing you'll never want that again?"
>"I dunno. The texture was squicky but the taste was okay-ish. I could maybe force myself to eat it if it had more salt."
>More salt
>Poni says that about everything
>That does give you an idea
"I'm afraid you can take the bacon out of grease, but you can't take the grease out of bacon. Jerky might be more to your liking if you want salty and dry."
>"I normally wouldn't want it, but now you've made me curious."
>tfw accidentally made poni an omnivore
An omnomnomnivore, amirite guise?
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>Pegasii do commercials for air force and national guard
>Every commercial has 'danger zone' or 'playin with the boys'
>poni chews on beef jerky
>she makes a scrunchy face
>"No offense, but this stuff tastes like updog."
>before you can stop yourself you say the words
"What's updog?"
>"Not much, what's up with you, dog?"
>while your brain reboots she boops you on the nose
>today you learned poni are punny
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Ponies aren't the apex predators on Equus. They're smart, but they're not the only sapient sentient creature around and at best they co-exist, at worst they're a lower rung on the food chain. They're smart and can defend themselves to an extent, after all no griffon wants to piss off a local village who might retaliate as opposed to a feral stag, but if it came down to it...

Contrast that to Earth. Suddenly you're sharing an entire planet with not 3 or 4 intelligence meat eating species, but just one. One that has the decency and infrastructure to not need to prey on you, and one that it's actively progressing towards a meatless/synthetic diet. And you get to reap the fruits of their adaptability, travel the world and do incredible things that would have otherwise been impossible or downright dangerous on Equus.
Honestly we'd probably get more griffon immigrants and visitors than anything else. They're incredibly well adjusted for human society.
I think it would vary place by place and culture by culture. It's a cliche but Earth is a big, big place.

Equestrian visitors to, say, Stockholm or Tokyo, seem likely to have a much different experience than if they visited, say, for example, Detroit, or Mogadishu. Some of these places would be safer for them than others--just as some of these places are safer for humans than others.

I'm just saying.
I mean sure they're going to experience a little racism like every minority, and after what Celestia did to the southern United States who can blame them? But by and large they should be safe. I mean how many times does ponyville get invaded by some strange creatures? Whether it's a swarm of locust-like creatures or some awry spell.
To be fair to Celestia, she did meet Florida Man.
>"That's it, Anon! I'm fed up with this!"
>you stand up, leaving half-munched cookie on a plate and return to your living room
"What? Did you stuck on a pop-up or somethig?"
>"No, i'm tired of reCaptha. Not only it forces you to do itself over and over while dominating every other capha, it only exist as vehicle to spy on people!"
"I know, but what can you do?"
>Twilight akwardly stares down
>you get feeling that someone going to get a friendship lesson about respecting others privacy
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>exists as a vehicle
It would also like you to identify some vehicles.

Excuse me. There must be some mistake. That horse clearly is not lewd.
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Please follow diplomatic protocol when interacting with poni ambassadors and representatives.
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>anon this sushi is awful! It feels like I'm eating a carpet
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From the mare notorious for just grabbing people and ponies alike with TK when annoyed?
enable nojs captcha you scrub
>you can't stop yourself from snickering
>but you decide against telling poni what "munching carpet" means in American English
>walk down street
>see poni wearing t-shirt
>the slogan is on the back on poni shirts, of course, so that you can read them
>it's Fluttershy
Poni can't into human letters
already. Wich cookies can i allow? Is it tied to add ID?
No, poni can. Poni is just gangster.
>Fluttershy visits Venice Beach
>"Oh, Anonymous, um, l-look at all my neat t-shirts I'm bringing back for the girls!"
>"I think Apple Jack will just love this 'Cali grown ho' one, and this 'High Class Pussy' one just has Rarity written all over it."

Nice. Let's talk more about Poni in Clothes.
Every poni wants to be gangsta
until it's time to do gangsta shit.
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>summoning poni
I bet even poni demons are nice, they're just misunderstood.
When poni try to summon demons, they get humans, usually Anonymous. Hilarity ensues, usually.
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>"Respectful word to ya motha, bro."
>'Ayo remember to say 'please' and 'thank you', dawg.'
>Poni says they're down
>They're TRU hoody hoo
90s were so cringy, but ponies can go all rebel-kids-rap-skateboard-homie, because they're cute
>90s were so cringy
You don't even KNOW, man. You don't eVen KNOW.

But they're so cute and boopable!
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>"Heh, there's no 'trick' to it or anything, Anon!"
>"I'm sure it works the same universally; mare or human female."
>"Just be yourself, bro!"
Your cute face makes me uncomfortable... j-just in case, my door doesn't swing that way!...
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What if poni thinks we're as cute as we think they are?
>"Anon, where are all the people zoo's?"
>"..Y-You don't have like zoo's, w-where ponies can go see humans?"
>'Um, I can take you somewhere that's kind of LIKE a zoo.'
>[Short drive later]
>"Anon this doesn't look like a zoo at all..it looks like a really sad and dangerous stretch of street."
>'Yeah. It's called Skid Row. Have your magic ready and don't let them touch you.'
Never like cadence and furry heart.
>Poni comes to Earth
>Has the world's governments sign a treaty permitting unrestricted cuddling (clean cuddles only, booping requires consent)
>Planet-wide two-way petting zoo
>Good end

Or if we go with your version of events
>"It's that bad?"
"Yes. If we make a wrong move, we might not leave here."
>"Ay yo, look! Dassa poni over there!"
"Oh god, they saw us."
>A small flock of urban youth gather around poni and start losing their minds
>You're pushed aside and can only watch in horror and mild jealousy as they scratch the poni between the ears, under the chin, and on her back
>Poni seems mildly concerned but not uncomfortable
>A middle-aged man of fair complexion leans out of his window with a scowl on his face
>"What's all the hollering about THIS time, you stupid ni- Ohhhh look at the cute little poni! Margaret! Margaret, come quick!"
>You told poni not to let them touch her
>Now the entire block is going to want a turn petting the poni
>It's going to be hours before you get poni back
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It's not horrifying! If everyone wants to pet the poni they'll be too busy to hate each other. It's the solution to world peace.
Too bad poners make questionable noises when we pet them!
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Only the lewd ones.
All poners are lewd!
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Just look at this pon, naked and preening in public!
>ponies can't tell humans apart
Pilly I'm the only green faceless human here
She is colorblind
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Pillowcase is very lewd.
And rich.
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>Canadian pone
>US dollars
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>"Heheh..ah like this Raimi feller's movies, Anon."
Pony in Earth wouldn't work. Pony would be scared of going outside, bored of living insinde our apartments, depressed by dull colors and intimidated by overdetailed reality.
That's a cat!
Nice quads, but you're wrong. Poni would get used to going outside, would be thrilled to live in the same building as all of their friends, amused by flashing lights and TV sets, and be fascinated by all the little things they never noticed before.

Now that my oral argument is complete, please view exhibit A as to why they'd want to come to Earth in the first place.
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>quads of truth
>poni come to Earth and become NEETs
>NEETponi threads are self-fulfilling prophecies
>poNEETs on Earth
While that may sound fun I'd rather not get magic'd unconscious and then dragged back to the NEET cave by some desperate tiny horsie.
Well, it depends on what she has in mind, now, doesn't it?

>you wake up and look around
"What are you going to do with me?"
>good end

>you wake up and look around
"What are you going to do with me?"
>she tosses a very thick hardcover book at you
>you look at the cover
>"Ogres & Oubliettes Core Rulebook"
>bad end

Then again, when enough wee pastel ungulates came here and the market appeared, some developer would create Ogres & Oubliettes Online, which all the poNEETs would call "OOO."
Honestly either variant would be fine. Though I might try to convince pone to give different system a shot and maybe tell to invite friends after which I'll spend an hour consoling the crying friendless pony.
IRL equines have a sweet tooth, yes. I don't know how enthusiastic they'd be over our mass-produced junk food, though.

Come to think of it, does any of the ponies in the show ever show enthusiasm for savory foods? Well, I suppose hayburgers and fries count.

To be a tiny bit more serious, one imagines there would be groups of poni who wanted to take tours of various parts of our world.

I imagine they'd be VERY well guarded. No Earthly government would want to be "the ones that let terrorists kidnap ponies." They'd get tour buses, probably armored and with bulletproof glass, and lots of human "tour guides" and "personal assistants" and "food service crew," most or all of whom would be from the Secret Service or the local equivalent.

Consider the possibilities of trade for a moment. Poni might like our food. I'm pretty sure they'd love our consumer electronics, and crews would be very well paid to set up cell phone towers to give 4G coverage in Equestria.

And how much money might humans pay, for artistic objects made by another species? For food grown without pesticides or herbicides, from a world where such things were never invented? Enormous Equestrian gemstones? How about stuff like that potion Zecora makes that repairs damaged teeth? In our world there is a tremendously lucrative market for "low background steel," which has to have been initially manufactured before the first above-ground nuclear tests, as radiation shielding for certain types of very sensitive equipment. So far as we know, poni never invented nuclear power or nuclear weapons. There would be HUGE amounts of money flowing both ways, HUGE amounts of money at stake. Terrorists, criminals, or anyone else who wanted to harm poni visitors would be dealt with quietly and ruthlessly--it wouldn't even be personal, just business. Too many wealthy people on both sides of the portals would be making too much money, and nothing could be permitted to interfere with it.
You make a lot of very good points, but
>Enormous Equestrian Gemstones
I look forward to the civil war in the Illuminati over this.
>"Anonymous, paisan, ehh, I been meanin' to ask yous somethin'..."
>"Say a uhh businesscolt like myself would like to bring his 'social club' over to do business here.."
>"How would a businesscolt like myself, hypothetically..go about doin' dat?"
>"helo sexy show vagene pls"
>"open bob for me ples"
>"bitch lasagna"
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You dumb fuckin' mook, he's a guinea, not a durka durka dot dot
This sounds like a US plan to attack another Middle West country
Throw in a refined scrap and you've got a deal, pal.
>"Ah'm breakin' into yer' car, ese'!"
>"It's Taco Bell, what could possibly go wrong!"
CMC Meme Team when
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>"It's Taco Bell, what could possibly go wrong!"

poor little poni, they never had a chance

press F to pay respects
Things to not do to or around ponies:
Do not use unicorns as doughnut holders. Not only does it ruin the mane and leave horn sticky, you also run into the risk of dexterous pony eating them.

Avoid using laser pointers or dangling shiny objects in pony's view. Ponies have short attention span and are easily distracted. Do not distract the pony, she may be doing an important job!
Animal control might lose their minds

>"Sir, do I shoot the colorful horses or the--"
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Do not give poni junk food or caffeine.
This is why it is important to ask if poni is poni before administering sleepy spike.
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Do not leave poni unattended with technology that does not have an obvious, clearly labeled purpose. They will find an alternative purpose.
Religion is opium of the people.
Change the channel, Poni
...you know, "the street finds its own uses for things" is very 1980s cyberpunk.
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>1980-cyberpunk poni

I wonder if magic flowing from ponies' world would cause a portion of humans to mutate into fantasy races.
For all we know their coming might make Shadowrun setting a reality.
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>"Bow before Great and Powerful Trixie, the subjugator of this terrible machine!"
"Trixie get off that thing. And stop using your magic to direct it into other ponies."
>"And what if Trixie doesn't want to?
"Then Trixie will have to explain princess Twilight why those ponies are on the verge of tears."
>"Fine! Here, take your stupid whirry-circle-thingie."
"My 'stupid whirry-circle-thingie'?"
>"Bah! The Great and Powerful Trixie does not concern herself with such trivial thi-"
"You don't know what's it called, do you?"
>(audible glaring)
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Silly trix
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Cyber... ponk?
Does poni prefer to import hay or buy it from the friendly neighborhood farmer?
"Cyberponk" is a tag at Derpibooru.

You're welcome.
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It only has about fifteen images with that tag, though...
this could be fun, no?

Luna should be pretty OK with being on Earth, she is smart and open to new things
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>Terrorists, criminals, or anyone else who wanted to harm poni visitors would be dealt with quietly and ruthlessly--it wouldn't even be personal
fucking good.
Poni is more likely to be found in your back yard, grazing before leaving for work.
>"You are hereby charged with extortion, conspiracy, gross perversion, mopery with intent to creep..."
>"...and upsetting a poni, which is bad for business."
"Oh shit! I'll be good!"
So cut the grass a bit higher. Got it.
So happy to roam through your greens
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Happy doesn't even begin to describe it.
Needs soundtrack.

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>"Yaaay, we move to Canada!"
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Contrary to popular belief, many poni are not afraid of vacuum cleaners. The minority that do fear them are absolutely terrified, however.

Rabbits are for kids.
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>*canadian laughing noises*
>A short distance away
"P.S., FARTS."
>"woo, pretty!"
Pone are easily distracted.
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>"I'm not your buddy, guy."
This is amusing because most of the show artists and voice actresses are Canadian.
Domina-Trix are for kids?
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Domina didn't work, Trix did.
Trixie is good with kids.
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>"Oh my word, bank robbery? That's quite serious..."
>"Umm...time-out; 10 minutes, no juice or cookies. Next case!"
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>I'll take care of this one
Trixie doing a charity magic show tour at some childrens' hospitals is a thing I want someone to write.
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this thing could work
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Two faced purple traitor, don't listen to him, Flutterbutt
Reminder that you should not leave poni unattended around computers. They are too innocent and trusting.
>day 419 on Earth
>"Oh, there you are. Can you help me, Anonny?"
"What do you have in mind?"
>"Well, I've been using this Internet thingy."
>"And I made a friend on the Internet."
>"And he says he needs my help to move two hundred million dollars of embezzled UN aid money out of his country, and he'll give me a 10% cut!"
>"He's a great guy! He's the Prince of Nigeria!"
>it was the day you explained the "Spanish Prisoner" grift to the Element of Laughter
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It will only get worse once they're competent and street-smart about using computers.
Poni probably wouldn't rob people, but they would hack computers and send phishing style phony emails to set up elaborate pranks.
I was thinking more along the lines of what happens when they inevitably take over social media.
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I don't know, I don't have any form of social media account.
she finds this hot
Flurry is a master of shitposting
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I bet she learned it from her father, that nerd.
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Fewer cat pictures, more poni pictures?
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why are people in this fandom such annoying faggots. because having op poochlight and twilight was really so much better.

>you're not allowed to ever be great, even though you want to
>friendship is magic
>lol no magic is tied to inherent talent
Pardon me, but I can't help but notice that your jumblies have been jimboe'd.
You roody poo
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Trixie is a great performer and has a powerful ability to hold a crowd's attention. Twilight may be a wizard, but Trixie's dual-classing as a bard. Twilight's magic shows could be impressive... until she broke the flow of the event by explaining everything, or something doesn't go to plan and she has to improvise, which she nearly can't. Trixie does more with less and can instinctively keep a show entertaining no matter what happens. They are good at different things, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Trixie has also been getting magic a few magic lessons from Starlight. Gif related. She has the potential to be the better poni, she just hasn't acted on it yet.
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If you don't lift the tail then it becomes hard to scrub under it.
Ponis with smelly butts don't get to sit on the couch.
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You make a fair point. I hope you weren't implying that Pilly's body isn't as clean as her thoughts, because she's obviously perfect.
Pilly is a silly filly, and we love her for it.
Silly and clean and chaste and I won't hear anyone say otherwise.
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>tail lifter
>"Anon! Anon! Anon! Anon, hurry, let's go, c'mon!"
>"ANOOON!!! Anon, c'mon, seriously!"
>'What the hell, Dash? What's so important that we have to leave right now?'
>'..Rainbow, it's already 10:33.'
I don't blame her for trying to rush. McDonald's hash browns > any other fast food hash browns
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Dergins in Erf. Discuss.
>"Aaand we're gonna dip into the van dyke brown..little bit of sap green.."
>"Put a happy ol' bush riiight there..and maybe..he's got a little friend, named Clyde."
>"But also...let's just say there happens to be a cute little filly on that path, too.."
>The Joy Of Poni with Bob Ross will return after these messages from Am/Pm
Young dragons are OK, adult ones are big nono
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>"How now, stair man!"
>"These moving steps are hastening my escape by a factor of 3 or more! Your 'mall rules' have no bearing on a King!"
>'Sir, please, no running.'
But small draggo will eventually become a big draggo.

He's going to drop the royal routine the second he trips and scrapes his knee. Mark my words.
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Pilly is looking at me like she wants something. What is it, small soft horse?
I didn't buy those oreo's so you could eat them in one day, fatbutt
Pilly needs to eat or she'll have a bony butt. Bony pony butts aren't soft.
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What is the meaning behind this filename?
Would you say it's as soft as a pillow?
It won't be unless you give her more oreos.
She can barely afford rent, how can you expect her to bulk up on a shoestring budget?
Guys, has anyone seen Strawberry?
I'm getting a little worried
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She is fine... I think.
By using her innate pony cuteness to mooch off the neighbors, of course.
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>Poni would not need to shop for groceries

Absolutely devious.
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Public preening is in no way illegal.
>pillows face when she's stuck eating condiment sandwiches for the 4th day in a row
But Anon, there are kids watching
>implying I have bread
Forgot to add a picture there, bud
>Implying she can afford a camera
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The kids are doing it too.
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>"Y-You know what? Bureaucracy be damned, I now proclaim California, Colorado, Jamaica, a-and uhh Amsterdam, Official Equestrian provinces!"
>"I just like you guys so much is all *sob*...pass the nacho fries, dude.."
Twilight is not a stoner poner. It would be funny if she was, but she is not.

Also, she canonically has a phobia of melted cheese. I suspect changeling shenanigans.
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Guys, the Girl Scouts are here. I'm gonna buy some thin mints. Do you want anything?
Chocolate cookies please, and pat their heads
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Are you >implying that Changelings like the ganja, Anon?
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>melted cheese
She must've seen or did some shit during that hive attack.
Chocolate cookies don't have heads, Anon.
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>"My word, how ghastly!"
>'Anon is it true? Did videos really kill the radio star?'
>"Vinyl, please, I wish to hear nothing more on this morbid subject; Anonymous, don't encourage her."
>'Wait... he has his Airpods in. He can't hear us. Anon! ANOOOOON.'
"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was just listening to some Queen."
>'It's cool, man. I-'
>"May I inquire as to the piece you were listening to?"
>'Tavi, I wanted t-'
"The one from the Live Aid section of that movie which came out last fall."
>"That was a lovely biopic! Not the most historically accurate account, but I suppose it's in the spirit of the memorial to be as entertaining as possib-
>'Whoa. Tavi, do you know what this means?'
>"That you won't let me change the subject?"
>'No. It means that Radio Gaga really is all they hear! Mother of Celestia, how deep does this go?!'
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>"If there was ever a more wretched hive of scum and villainy..thy name is Am/Pm.."
>'Tavi, look at me put nacho cheese on this gummi worm and oreo burrito!'
I can relate to the musical donkey.
Americans can be weird at times.
They're a bad influence for poni.
What is Am/Pm?
It's a chain of convenience stores
It's true.

And that's even without getting into other possible places, times, or timelines to which the portal from Equestria might connect, some of which would be even weirder. Or more dangerous for poni. Or both. I'm sure you can think of examples.
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Poni in France.
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>"..Sheyoot, Anon!"
>"An ah thought yall had a surplus a' them darkies back home!"
>"Why, these frou frou pansy french treat em' like they're an endangered species ah'll never know..."
>"Ya ought to be firm with animals so they know their place."
I'm going to Hell for this, but I'm laughing.
Poni was going to become based and redpilled eventually

Either AJ has a submission fetish we don't know about or this is a contradictory statement. Either way, I could see Poni becoming casually racist. They don't mean any offense. They just don't know when to hold their tongue.

"God damn, Applejack, don't say that shit in public. Someone's bound to kick your ass for that sort of thing."
>"Why? S'just like the folks back home, 'cept instead of horns and wings and earth magic, y'all are color coded."
"That doesn't make sense. You show me a human born with wings and I'll show you an apocalypse cult."
>"Right, so not JUST like the folks back home. Still, some types of y'all can't do things other types do. 'Least not as well as they can."
"What, like Asians being good at math?"
>"Exactly! You show me a human that'll take the cold like an Eskimo, take the heat like an Arab, run jump n' dance like an African, has the discipline of a German, cooks like a Frenchie and a Mexican and an Italian all in one, 's got the community-mindedness of a Chinaman, does business as good as a Japanese Jew, has the... dang, why'd ya go and make so many different types? Point is, you show me a human with all of those and I'll show you an alicorn that ain't a pony."
"So you're thinking of races like they're Pokemon types. I can see the logic in that."
>"What's a pokeyman? Is that another race?"
"Yes. They're native to the Kanto region and a few other places."
>Either AJ has a submission fetish we don't know about

...that's the single most common sexual kink, especially for women. It's almost "vanilla." There are valid reasons for this if you are familiar with evolutionary psychology.

Of course, she's not human, and maybe we shouldn't anthropomorphize her--but to me it seems to fit her personality. It's not hard to imagine her harboring a secret desire for the stallion who has the strength and endurance she sees in family members, one who is stronger than she is, who can force her to give herself to him. Hell, read Anais Nin.
I hate these threads because nothing good would actually come of intelligent ponies appearing in our world. I know it's been said and that these threads are meant to focus on the fun aspects, but I can't get the bad stuff out of my head. They'd probably get kidnapped by some party and either raped or studied to death.
And then there would be massive public outcry because A) they would have just consented/told us the stuff we wanted to know about them if we asked nicely and had decent hygiene, and B) as mentioned earlier, poni is untouchable. You fuck with poni, you fuck with forces beyond your comprehension. Also they're cute and we'd feel sad if we saw one cry.
For purposes of these threads I like to pretend that people are better than that, that governments are better than that, and everything would go better than expected.
>"we'd feel sad if we saw one cry"
*we* would but there's probably a million people who wouldn't.
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Fair enough, Satan. I should clarify. Based on my secondhand knowledge of Redpill philosophy, I'm under the impression that a Redpilled woman would be little more than a breeder and feeder. Maybe I should have said submission/impregnation/housewife fetish. She might be into role playing that sort of thing, but I doubt she'd want to live it every day for the rest of her life.

>Don't anthropomorphize the poni
You must not go to Derpibooru often.

In a world of billions, that's decent odds. Better than wandering into the Everfree, where everything with a brain wants to eat you or worse. I'm with >>33605708
on this one. I mean, how many times in a normal day do you run into someone who's an active threat to you? The number of people in the world who are absolute saints not be as high as we'd like, but the number of people who understand not to go starting shit without reason is many times higher.

I kind of want a poni version of The Green Book now.
not the other guy, but--

the poni seem to have been drawn, for the most part, to appear a bit neotenous--a bit childlike. Their large eyes and large heads would tend to make some people--maybe not everyone, but a lot of people--feel instinctively protective of them.
Bibbidy bobbidy moe, you're back to regular hoe!
>Based on my secondhand knowledge of Redpill philosophy, I'm under the impression that a Redpilled woman would be little more than a breeder and feeder.

Billions and billions of women since time out of mind have been exactly that. 99.9% of the women who ever lived had those lives and were happy and content with the role. It is what their inherited cave-woman instincts demand, and they were much happier before "feminists" told them that they had to try to be men--that submission to a father or husband was bad, but going to a hideous, soul-destroying job you hate every day and submission to the boss is somehow much better.
I won't argue the history of it, but to imply that being a housewife isn't soul-crushing is to whitewash the origin of the vibrating dildo. I say let 'em pick their poison. If they want to stay at home, that's on them. If they can get a job, good! Having more than one source of income per household is something the market has been pushing families towards for decades anyway.

Now I want Ponies in Victorian England. Imagine all the dropped monocles from gentlemen seeing mares who act without the permission of a stallion and don't even try to cover their ankles.
>Sicilian-descended girl
>green eyes and freckles

I find your ideas fascinating and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
>I say let 'em pick their poison.
But that's how we got here, Anon.
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bibbidy bobbidy boo, peelly is now blue
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>"G'day cunts!"
>"Start your day off right with a new Washout Baja Blast at your local Am/Pm!"
>"Too much bloody good stuff!"
Bippidy boppity blappy, how do I make pillowhorse happy?
Snacks. Works on every pony.
And we got to that by NOT letting them pick their poison. There's no way to win this. Just let society do its thing and eventually things will reach an equilibrium.
What if I don't know W.T. Snacks?
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>"Anon, it's amazing how much you can learn from television!"
>'Yeah, it has it's moments, I guess. Discovery and the rest of the alleged 'educational' channels have largely went reality tv as of recent.'
>"Huh? No, all that channel shows is fat kids and weird old men buying rusty junk, I'm talking about the educational shows that come on at night!"
>Oh god she disabled the pony v-chip
>'W-Well uhh, when two adults-, or an adult and a pony, love each other..wait, to be specific, what DID you see?'
>"Grown american super food!"
>'Oh god damnit..Twilight, no, those are infomercials and their primary goal is to separate idiots and their money.'
>"B-But, it said they were unpaid testimonials, who would lie about something like that?"
>'Ehh, live and learn, at least you didn't fuck up like Rainbow and run my phone bill up calling that damn gangster party line.'
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>"Ima' goin' full native, AppleJack!"
>'Got dangit, Granneh, take that off afore' ya get us all lynched or worse!'
>Gangster party line
I haven't been paying attention to that side of politics lately. It's so hard to follow. Are they still running on the 'nyeah, see?' platform or have the 'fahgettaboutit' reformists finally gained traction?
>Oh god she disabled the pony v-chip

oh shit
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>"Alright, Mr. Anonymous sir, open up and neigh for me."
>'..I'm sorry, what?'
>"Ah, right, humans say 'ahh'.."
>"Moving on; how much alfalfa would you say you eat on average?"
>dr ben dova
I can almost smell the sexual harassment lawsuits. Poor poni.
That's OK. They are a tranny now anyways. Try cheese. Unless they are afraid of that,then try something minty.
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I had a bit of kale in a salad last week. Does that count? I swear that shit only tastes good when it's raw.
>constellation freckles
[_] Not cute.
[_] Cute.
[x] Very cute.
That'll teach me to use unicode symbols.
I had a dream last night that pillow case got wrecked in the face by a dodgeball while we were walking down the street
Oh no, not the snoot!
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Yes the snoot. I'm sorry.
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Did it make the standard dodgeball bounce sound?
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Yes. it actually bounced off her face, hit a nearby car window sending it back in the same direction to bounce off her face again. It was enough to knock her over and give her a nosebleed, but she insisted She was. Overall it made a very satisfying sound when it hit her.
>"I shant have it!"
>"Mind your balls, you uncouth ruffians!"
I suppose she WOULD be the one who's seen a lot of balls in her time.
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Dangit Sweetie, why'd you have to go and steal my pudding cup?
Let this be a lesson to always hide your junk food whenever poni is around. They can't help themselves.
Tiny hoers has a huge sweet tooth.
... I can't be angry at her.
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>"Ayy, what's 'frageelay' mean?"
>"Heh, must be Neightalian for some fancy human stuff!"
>"Another job well done by Amazon deliveries!"
...is that a Super Mario World cloud? HNNNNNG
And again, I can't be angry at this poni. They're so proud about their work performance you simply can't yell at them
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>After the series ended, Fluttershy's actress retired to a nice little cottage on Earth
>Not her voice actress, her actual, physical actress
>This may not have been the best decision Butterfly Meadows has ever made
...is this going to be one of those "actor and character have totally different personalities, to the disappointment and/or trauma of the fans" jokes?

Because those are funny.

I don't really have anything beyond the initial prompt. Maybe it was a nonfiction series along the lines of Hamilton or something, and there's also a real Fluttershy, but the events of the show took place decades ago so Realshy is old as fukk.
>Rush long
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Based Hungry and Lonely poni
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Can we pick a Valve game and stick with it?
Poni in portal
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I think even Twilight would be confused for a bit with the whole "thinking with portals" thing.
I mean, she gets around with wings and teleportation, but using portals requires a modicum of extra-dimensional thinking.
I always hated how limited Portal series felt. It's just a puzzle game with little more to it.
Imagine the glorious utter clusterfuck of an FPS with portals and, maybe, unusual gravity.
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I think they prefer the term 'unemployed.'

The original Prey by 3D Realms had a bit of what you mentioned in the spoiler.
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>Ha ha, YES! I AM a pony from that show!
>What? No, I'm not an alien!
>I'm just John Everpony; average equestrian!
>"..Sir, you've been randomly selected for extra screening, please step to your right."
>"Oohhhh my head... where am I?"
"Hello, and thank you for choosing or being chosen to participate in the Aperture Science interdimensional testing initiative."
>"What? Where are you? Where am I?"
"Questions detected. Answering in order from most to least recent. You are in the facility for the Aperture Science interdimensional testing initiative. I am outside of your designated testing area. Do not leave your designated testing area until testing is complete. Failure to comply will result in punishments including a fine equivalent to or greater than the cost of aborting your participation in the Aperture Science interdimensional testing initiative. Insufficient context to produce answer."
>"Uh, okay... who are you?"
"I am the Anomalous Neighing Organism Notification system. I will monitor and record your performance in the Aperture Science interdimensional testing initiative. The monitoring will be done primarily by cameras throughout the facility. Your species has been profiled as low technology. A camera is like an eye, but it does not need to be on my face for me to see with it."
>"I know what a camera is! What are you, how did I get here, and what am I testing?"
"Warning: you are approaching your hourly question quota. You will be testing quantum translocation planes which are intended as a product to compete with cloth shower curtains. You arrived here by entering this facility. I am a computer that monitors and records test performances of sapient equines. A computer is a specially designed object that can be filled with a specific amount of lightning to emulate the functions of an organic brain."
>"...You're a golem trying to use non-Eweclidian portals as shower curtains?"
"Affirmative. I do not come up with these ideas. I just run tests. Hourly question quota exceeded. Initiating testing. Try not to breathe too much; dust harmful to mucous membranes and residual amounts of deadly neurotoxin may be present in testing areas."
Uh oh, I'll bring a bandaid
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Don't bother. She's fine.
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>Fuckin', I turn my back for ONE minute and you're in the Satanic Relic wing trying to summon demons?
>I'm asking them to revoke you're diplomatic immunity pass until you can behave half as maturely as Rarity or AppleJack, Dash
>Meanwhile Rarity and AppleJack still have their headphones on taking the audio tour
>They glance at Rainbow and shake their heads
>"Shame, shame shame, we know your name!~"
pie no die
Twilight would be really disappointed with all the books about wicca and satanism and stuff.

>"Anon, do ANY of these spellbooks have a reference section? I haven't seen a single citation in any of these!"
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Horses see a different range of colors than humans, right? That could be interesting to explore.

Is Jffry still around? It doesn't feel right to post a joke at his expense if he's not here.
>Is Jffry still around?
jfry pls
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>stay woke and follow me on instagram, pham
>keep it lit i-if that's alright with you
EqG-Barbie in Earth - yay or nigger?
That wasn't a yes or no.

That's also not a yes or no, but since it's a question I'll say maybe.
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You best start believin in ghost stories lad
Meant to reply to>>33633380
A flamethrower is not enough
But Obscuro's Oblivion Overhaul already exists
Humans might cause food shortages in Equestrian by drastically increasing demand for their food
Does it cure inflation? That'd fit under ponitus
If weed could cure economic inflation, that would explain why it's taking so long to legalize. The man's trying to keep us down, man.
Weed or weebs?
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Fluttershy and Tree Hugger are friends, so potentially both.

>"I'm serious, Anon! It's completely understandable when you're in the right state of mind."
"No. 'Shy, I'm telling you. If you have to be high to understand it, it doesn't make sense."
>"Look, um, I'll sketch it out for you. Try to follow along, okay?"
"I'm going to have to be high to get it and you're asking me to pay attention? Is Equestrian weed crossbred with coke or what?"
>"The drink, or the powder?"
"Fuckin'... either one. Let's see what you're going on about."
>Tree Hugger is always described as a baked junkie, not a nature-loving, relaxed pony
This hurts Tree Hugger
Is it actually possible to be a junkie for something that's non-addictive?
>Pillow Case was annoyed
>the human had sprinted across the street, yelling "WOO WOO WOO WOO" all the way
>only to bend over and touch her on the nose
>"Emergency boop!"
>then he ran away
>another human said
>"You know, I know that was rude, but you're so cute when you scrunch your muzzle like that that I almost want to boop you myself."
>fortunately he stopped himself just in time
Ponies get booped so much they have their own form of PTSD: Post-traumatic-snuggle-disorder!

an actually serious condition because it erodes ponies sense of agency and personal space, often leading to a deep depression
A minority of ponies come to enjoy the feeling of not knowing when or where they might be booped, finding it thrilling.

>"Boop me, daddy."
"No. Begone, boopthot."
>"But daddy, I need it!"
"I'm not your daddy! I don't even know you!"
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Boop addiction is no joke! Ponies can lose friends and lose touch with their families, as they prowl the night in search of their next boop.
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That reminds me...
>Know your boop fiend!
THOT = That Horse Over There

thot status = patrolled, but unbooped
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>Ponies of the night
Luna would be upset. Boopsluts aren't something a princess would want to be associated with.

"Hey, pony! This is my block!"
>"Calm down, lady. I'm only selling my nose."
"Ah, all right. Could ya at least stand on the other side of the road?"
>"Yeah, yeah, anything for another- heck, I shouldn't be comparing myself to you. For me it's usually just 'boop!' and then it's over. You're in it to stay when you get a client."
"I don't know what rumors you've heard about us humans, but lemme tell ya this: 'Boop and then it's over' ain't too far removed from my average client."
>"Dang. Either you're that good or they're total chumps."
"A little of both."
Sounds really serious, booping is dangerous! I can offer dicking instead
Beep, not boop

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