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IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY

>rope's super gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/

Add for Skype: sin.aie
>PiE corner
PiE moved out of the basement and is living in its own place.
Previous thread >>33297495
who are you
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Prose Equus 8

>You rapidly spin the midsections of the striking dummies in what is rapidly becoming your favorite courtyard in the palace until they look like they’ll go on their own.
>You take a deep breath and pluck your sword from the ground as you dive between the two of them.
>Iron striking limbs hit at you from all angles, requiring you to parry from forward and backwards with your ice sword and a sparring blade you’d borrowed.
>The tornado of steel and wood becomes your entire world as you focus on your rhythm. Strike, strike, reverse strike, turn, strike, practice dummies get stopped by gold magic, strik-
>Wait hold on.
>You stop your flurry and look to your guest, the God Queen of Asgard.
>”You spend more time alone with these training tools than you do with others.”
>You snort and rise, sheathing your blade and swinging the borrowed one.
“The same could be said for yourself, Grace. You spend so much time as a Queen that I never see you rest or spend time with your friends.”
>”Because all my friends are dead, No-name.”
>The silence in the courtyard is palpable.
>Sleipnir does what you construe as a shrug. “No, not all of them. But most.”
“I’m sorry.”
>Sleipnir signals for you to follow her, to which you obey.
>”Do not be.” She says. “They were gone long before you were born.”
“Then you have my sympathies.”
>”Something I neither require nor desire.”
>Either you made a face or she read your mind, but the Queen of Asgard knew how you felt and continued to speak as she walks with you.
>”We die, that is the way of all things. Some may pass sooner, others later. But all things are destined to end, one day. So says the God of Death.”
>You mull that over for a second as the two of you walk.
“Pessimistic nihilism, if you ask me.”
>Sleipnir stops in her tracks and looks back at you with a tempests eye, so you make quick to explain yourself.
“Yeah, people die, sometimes we can’t stop it, but that doesn’t mean we submit ourselves to it either. Prevent it wherever you can, accept it when it happens, but never, EVER resign yourself to it.”
>She continues to stare at you, you put your fists on your hips and puff your chest a bit.
“So says No-name, God of Nothing.”
>Sleipnir continues to stare, but nods slightly as if in acceptance of your views. “Come, we’re late for breakfast.”
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>The Queen leads you into the feasting hall which is entirely empty, with places set for only two.
“Didn’t think we were THAT late…” you muse.
>”Normal breakfast was early today, we required the room.” Sleipnir gestures to one of the seats. “Sit.”
>You hang your sword on one of the hooks by the wall and sit down.
“Early, eh? I can never eat so soon after waking up, it makes me feel sluggish.”
>”I do not sleep.” Sleipnir says.
>You ponder the logistics of that when two others enter the room.
>”I’ve retrieved her as asked!” Baldur proclaims.
>Next to him, Loki grimaces and rubs her head near her horn. “Not so LOUD, brother…”
“Hey! Welcome back to the land of the living, Princess.”
>Loki grunts as she walks around the table and takes a seat next to you.
“No meal in your room today?”
>”Nothing MORE obvious to state today?”
>”Enough, the both of you.”
>Sleipnir silences the both of you as she approaches from the other end of the table, floating a golden chest the size of your head. She places the chest before you on the table and eyes Loki sternly.
>”Tell me what it is you did wrong.”
>Loki squirms in her chair and looks away from her mother.
>”Now.” She demands.
>The princess closes her eyes and lets it all come out.
>”I wandered down to Midgard and tried to trick the mortals to me because I wanted SOMEONE up here to take my magic seriously for once in my life and that seemed the best way to do it OKAY? Honestly…how am I to make myself known as a magister when you are here as well, Mother?”
>”You don’t.” says Sleipnir, echoing through the empty chamber.
>She leans her head down to Loki’s level and looks her in the eye. “You are not prepared for the role you seek, child. The throne takes more than a magister to occupy.” Loki breaks eye contact with her mother and nods with a sigh. “If you wish to be noticed, then be something worth noticing.”
>Loki is about to object before she continues. “There are enough magisters in this realm, you are a goddess, a princess, and my daughter. Surely you can come up with a role you wish to be.”
>”Now, eat.” She commands as she opens the chest.
>Inside the resplendent chest on a cushion of red silk was a single apple, about the size of AJ’s back home. Unlike hers, however, this one was the same color as the chest it came in.
“What in the world-“
>”The Golden Apples of Iduun. Called Ambrosia by the Equestrians and the source of the might of the Aesir. The grove where Iduun cultivates them is one of our most closely guarded secrets, as the power they hold within them the power to make a mortal into a king.”
>You look between the apple and Sleipnir.
>The Queen grabs a knife with her magic and stabs it into the table in front of you.
“You can’t be serious.”
>”She’s always serious.” Loki says.
“She JUST said it would have the power to make me a king.”
>”Half of one.” Sleipnir corrects, taking the knife and floating the apple up. With gentle care, the Mother of All cuts the heavenly fruit in half first, then begins slicing it.
“Beg pardon.”
>”The apple does indeed have the power within it to make a mortal a king, but only those of Aesir blood may have the fortitude to contain it all.” Sleipnir places the slices gently in front of you both. “You two will make due with half of such power.”
>Loki simmers and grabs one of the slices. “Mother! I am not a little filly anymore, cease treating me as one at once!”
>”No.” is the response she gets.
>You snicker under your breath.
>Sleipnir goes around behind your chairs. “When you are my age, daughter. Then I may consider your request. Baldur.”
>”Yes’m!” you hear.
>”When your sister finishes her apple, spend the day with her outside the palace. Take No-name with you to ensure that the apple does not harm him.”
>Loki’s ears perk up at the idea of not being grounded.
>”Should she behave herself for the day, she will be permitted to walk the city again.”
>You’d never seen anyone dig into a sliced apple meal so fast, but Loki certainly tried.
“Hah! Well, bon appetite, I guess…”
>You pick up the odd fruit between your fingers and pop it into your mouth.
>Hmm. Tasted like sunshine.
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>After your meal, the three of you walk from the entrance of the palace along the path to the city, between the golden statues of heroes from ages past that tower taller than the palace in Canterlot.
>You look at your hands, flexing them and trying to feel the power the apple had carried into you.
“I don’t FEEL any different.”
>”Give it a bit of time, No-name!” Baldur assures you. “The nectar of the Golden Apples is like a gentle drip carried by the clear waters of the Aesir through our bodies! Yours might just take a bit of time since your blood is more like…uhm…” He chews on his tongue a bit in thought before he gets something. “Mud! Blood like mud! Hehe.”
“You’re too kind, Majesty.”
>”Baldur to you, No-name! Just Baldur!”
>The prince walks along the path with his head held high and you look down to his sister, keeping her gaze low as she trots along.
“Bit for your thoughts.”
>Loki blinks away her haze and looks up to you. “Were you addressing me?”
>She scrunches her nose. “My thoughts are none of your concern, No-name!” she says in her haughty princess voice.
“Right, right. Humor me with a question then.”
>Loki looks back to you with one eye open, the action form of a question mark.
“The Queen called you her daughter so…assuredly, but you told me you were adopted, so…”
>A shade of crimson comes from under Loki’s cheeks and her horn sparks. “You have some nerve on you, Mortal! To think that you would ask a goddess such-“
>”Settle down, sister!” Baldur chides, stopping ahead of you both. He extends a calming hood out and pats her back. “He doesn’t know, alright? Settle down.”
“I get the feeling you two know something I don’t.”
>Baldur gives you a big smile and laughs. “I believe this may be what you mortals call “cultural differences”, my friend.” Baldur pulls Loki a bit closer, the princess clearly not enjoying the physical attention. “In Asgard, so many may die in wars or battles, that bonds we form must either form quickly and deeply, or not at all. Because of that and any familial deaths within those wars to be “adopted” does not carry with it the stigma it may in other realms.” He explains.
>Baldur smiles down at Loki, who does her best impression of a rock wall.
>”Sister has been accepted as one of us! That means she is of our family, by heart if not by blood.”
>”Being of the same family as you, brother…I can hardly contain my excitement.”
>You chuckle.
“You both act like family, at least.”
>”His fault.” Loki assures. “He was here since I was a newborn and I am only able to withstand so much of him after the years.”
>She removes her brother’s hoof and continues down the road. “Come! I would use my first day of freedom for something other than the cultural enrichment of a braindead peon.”
>You and Baldur exchange a look and a half-sigh.
“If she gets in trouble and stays grounded, she’ll never let us hear the end of it.”
>”So we should get in the trouble before her since we’re not being punished! Come, No-name!”
>Baldur gallops after his little sister, with you not too far behind.
Pastebin updated.
For 8th's lazy ass: https://pastebin.com/vAH7Aa9g
Gibe thots

Haha who has two thumbs and has been a neurotic wreck for six weeks because of personal problems and hasn't been writing? This guy. I'm a piece of shit, sorry.

I've been lurking and I hope everyone had a nice holiday. I'm not a nervous wreck as much these days so with all the stress of the holiday and after over, I was finally able to get back to this with something small and bite sized like a delicious apple to get back into the swing of things.
Thanks for your patience and for sticking with me through this. I'll not take as long next time.
Kingdom Hearts 3 is only, like, 50 hours or so...right?Right?
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What are the best of the best stories, particularly ones that are relatively long?
>relatively long
Diaries of a Madman.
Should keep you busy for the next two years.
>best of the best
Oh ... nevermind.
That really depends on what you define as best.
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That's a maybe two week read for me, if that. did it twice for some reason back in 2017
desu most of the longest will disappoint just from continuing after an end should have been reached but at least some of it was good.
On the other hand Diaries of a Madman is like a horrific gut churning bathroom trip. You think you're getting something done but everytime you get up your guts say fuck you, sit back down faggot.
This shit never ends.
fucking hell wordfilters still?
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Anyone have the source for this derpy version so I can have it point right *without* having backwards letters?
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You got me curious so I tried to do the same thing but with effort.
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bros in the field of wasting minimal time/effort on the interwebs for a laugh sometimes
we should hang out
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Kinda defeats the point of a derpy edit if there's nothing wrong with it, don't you think?
tempted to underp theeyesbut it would kill me inside
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Jokes on you, I'm already dead inside.
No worries. Glad you're back and that you're feeling better. Thanks for the update.
Hey me too!
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>non-horse/non-anon character
Ok. So. I got bored and... used a predictive text bot to write a pony story. I uploaded ALL of my Twilight Sparkle stories I've done for this thread. And it made... a thing, based on those stories. I formatted it a little, but. Yeah. I hope you "enjoy."

>You can see the bouncing form of pinkie pie at the end of the hall in twilight Sparkle's castle. Twilight has gone out for the day and you thought you were going to be alone. No. Fuck this whole big stupid day. pinkie pie is there in front of you, unrepentant. You try to fathom all this horrible nagging bullshit, but you can’t.

" anon, come out and play with this microbe! " pinkie says with a soft rumbling laugh.

>She wrinkles her nose at you and points towards spike. spike screeches with realizing his own useless lizard life. You feel nothing.

" pinkie pie, you know twilight doesn’t like when i take you into the epic woods. " you whisper.

"i'm going to cuddle with addicts in it! " she screams.

>You blink back the tears welling up in your eyes, and your mouth drops. You don't have a job ever since you found out what exactly is happening at sweet apple acres, and you are bored. maybe pinkie pie will be fun to be naked with.

"OK, " you wheeze. She jumping on your insides. "Let's go out I guess. "

>with that, you open the doors to the world and go out. but that’s when twilight comes rushing into your flesh. she gives you a long sigh and drops you to the floor. you groan in anticipation of all the horrible things that you know must come to you now.

"Anon, i told you never to speak with pinkie pie. She gives ponies all the byproducts of inert gas! " twilight crows at you with gleaming eyes.

"I know. " You cry.

"Hey! What the fuck are you saying? " pinkie asks.

"You traitor of the bathroom, " twilight says slowly to her face. "i'm going to make you really miserable forever. "

>The pink pony sobs once more and turns away from you.

"i'm sorry please aaaaahhhhh, " you offer her as she walks away.


>twilight glares at you sourly and shakes her head over and over again. This whole production is beautiful looking but also more phallic than expected. Your dick is going to be hardwood. She lets out a low belch and looks down at you with sexual disgust.

"You stupid kinky fuck. " twilight hisses. "you are almost uncomfortably free of thought. I hope you

>and that's when you died.

It's just like the real thing!
When no one else understands me, this bot does.
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Holy fuck
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"anon, come out and play with this microbe!"
>points at spike
>spike screeches with realizing his own useless lizard life

Jesus fucking christ I'm three lines in and already my sides are in orbit
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>"Hey! What the fuck are you saying? " pinkie asks.
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>The magic bolt detonates in mid-air, blocked by that annoying unicorn's tiny little precision shields again.
"You can't keep this up forever," you chortle, not even trying to hide the glee in your voice. "Make this easy on yourselves and just tell me what I want to know."
>Neither the unicorn nor his quartet of dirty, injured alchemists respond.
>It's so funny, seeing him struggle to deflect shots that cost so little for you to fire.
>He's definitely got his reaction times and that unnatural precision on his side, but his actual magic capacity is low.
>His alchemists have to keep feeding him potions to keep his magical reserves topped up, and he's pushing his limits even there.
>But you?
>Ohh, with so much love stored away, you could do this for days, maybe even a week.
>A luxury they don't have.
>His powers weaken from the feedback, and he somehow avoids wincing.
>That's so cute.
"So you'd prefer it if I ripped the answer out of you?"
"Works for me," you grin.
>A trio of presences make themselves known to your right.
>A pair of zebras, and one of those laughable 'Ancients'.
>The ground begins to tremble with every heavy step the big, stupid golem takes.
>But it's the feelings of relief coming from the group of alchemists that really make you roll your eyes.
"Really? This is what you were hoping was going to save you?"
>Snorting, you turn your head towards the approaching golem, leaving the alchemists and their charge be for the moment.
>You could afford to let them out of your sight at this stage.
>In his current state, the unicorn can't even inconvenience you.
>And even if the alchemists hadn't run out of potions to throw at you, their intentions to throw them were so well broadcast that you could've been blindfolded and still been able to send them hurtling back towards them.
>Oh, you're going to enjoy savouring his death once you're through here.
>Senses fully forward, you pick up some more details about your would-be assailants.
>One zebra was male, a warrior, was both angry with you and attracted to his cohort, and held one of those strange magic weapons that some zebras have.
>The other was female, an alchemist, a constant melancholy simmering in the background, eclipsed by a strong sense of duty.
>The golem approaches, and you stay and wait for it to come.
>Figuring out their tells was almost as laughably easy as fighting them.
>Just as expected, it rears up to trample you, leaving itself wide open.
>Darting underneath it is easy, and the green lightning is also easy to shield against.
>Leaving it's crystalline belly fully exposed to you.
>It's tingling, lukewarm, glowing 'blood' splashes you from hoof to horntip.
>You almost wish it was actual blood.
>The golem teeters to the side, and you make a point of slowly walking out from underneath it's back legs as it collapses into a pile of rubble.
>A quick spell burns off the 'blood' covering you, and you take stock of the two zebras that were hovering behind it.
>The warrior looked like the typical zebra meathead, with some magical battle axe ready to go in his teeth.
>The mild attraction he felt after you'd burned the 'blood' off of your body didn't escape your notice, either.
>The alchemist was wearing a wooden mask for some bizarre reason, but had a quarterstaff and an arsenal of potions ready all the same.
>All the focus in the world wasn't going to hide just how afraid these two now were.
"I really don't have time for this," you say, feigning boredom. "So I'll make this simple. Answer my questions and I'll let you live."
>It was hard keeping a straight face for that.
>"You expect us to answer even one of your questions, after killing so many with such rampant aggression?"
>Can't say you expected her to reply like that.
"Nice rhyming. That must've taken a lot of practice to get right."
>You wouldn't call her growling much of a response.
"Whatever. I'm looking for Anonymous."
>Even the warrior zebra recognized the name 'Anonymous', and both tensed up at the mention of it.
"So you both know about him. Good. Now tell me where he is."
>"You will not bring harm to him, nor anyzebra else--"
>You gave them their chance.
>That alchemist has some serious reflexes, jumping out of the bolt's way like that.
>The warrior was quick to respond by taking his axe in his hooves and leaping at you for an overhead strike, his axe charging with magic.
>Well, there goes your hopes for a real fight today.
>A quick, powerful burst of telekinesis yanks the axe out of his loose hoofgrip at the height of his swing, throwing his balance in the air off.
>He has no way to correct his course in time, and you just sidestep him as he crashes to the ground with a grunt, rolling a few times for good measure.
>What an idiot.
>He had a perfectly good grip with his teeth, and he still chose to hold it with his hooves.
>Veldheer at least uses his sword's telekinesis to fake his enemies out when he 'holds it'.
>Then again, he's a good fighter, unlike this nobody.
>The alchemist's quarterstaff whizzes towards your head, but your focus is on her intent to drop a potion at your hooves.
>The wood of the staff bounces off your chitin with a loud KRACK, and your telekinesis seizes her potion just as it rolls out of her bag.
>She jumps back, expecting the potion to have detonated by now.
>Instead, her eyes widen through the mask when she sees it hurtling towards her in mid-air instead.
>Again, her reflexes make themselves known here as she twists in mid-air, just barely avoiding it.
>You sense the warrior charging at you from behind, and with a small snort, you turn towards him.
>He dives forward to tackle you, his intentions the picture of simplicity itself.
>You don't bother bracing yourself very much for it.
>His brief victorious feelings turns to confusion when he finds his tackle wound up doing nothing but sting a bit, failing to move you more than a few inches.
>With his forelegs thrown around you like this, it almost looks like he's trying to hug you, not grapple you.
>His confusion morphs into realization, followed by fear.
>Whatever chance he had to pull away was halted by your own foreleg wrapping around him, keeping his chest pinned against yours, and his head within reach of your own.
>Your smirk only adds to his panic, and he struggles in vain against your grasp.
>He'll do.
>A good chance to get the information you need, and he'll make a decent pick-me-up.
>But first, that alchemist.
>You halt her charge by off-hoovedly throwing a volley of smaller magic bolts her direction.
>Then, eyes locked onto the warrior's, your horn presses against his forehead.
>To his credit, he does struggle for a second against your power, but his eyes glass over all the same, lost in your own.
>A steady stream of love filters out of his mouth and into your own, a tiny sliver of it intended for you.
>Why do zebras seem to find you so attractive, again?
>Well, it doesn't matter.
>It makes this much easier, not to mention more delicious.
>Now, to scan through his eyes for anything about Anonymous.
>You see him on his knees, a potion thrown at him.
>You see him naked, thrown into a pit.
>You see him dressed in the same laughable 'armour' these zebras use.
>But a quickly approaching presence from the side puts a swift halt to your searching.
>Quickly savouring the last few wisps of energy, your horn comes off his head with a slight spark, and you bat him off to the side, the stupid bastard still too dazed to notice the bones you'd broken with that strike.
>Mild surprise comes when the new presence calls out to that alchemist, concern laced throughout his tone.
>Judging from her intent shift, she's going to help that warrior.
>Fine with you.
>While she hefts him onto her back, your eyes drift towards the zebra that made the call.
>You expected to see another warrior, but what you actually see is very different.
>Zebras don't normally wear proper full plate armour, sans the helmet.
>Nor do they have this curious cocktail of emotions, or this calm of a demeanour when studying you.
>Your best guess is that this is their leader.
>"I take it that you are the one who has caused all this destruction, changeling?"
>Should've guessed he'd speak Equestrian.
"Well, I can't take all the credit."
>"Why have you come here, changeling? For what purpose do you murder my people?"
"Don't flatter them. They're just obstacles to me."
>"Excuse me?"
>That one struck a nerve.
"I said, they're just in my way. I really couldn't care less about your zebras. I'm here for only one thing."
>"All this chaos for one thing? What could possibly justify this, creature?"
"That depends. Are you going to tell me where to find him?"
>The two of you begin circling one another.
>His intentions are actually somewhat threatening, changing quickly and with a lot of detail, though nowhere near the speed of that unicorn.
>This should be interesting.
>"I presume you mean Otherworldly Anonymous, changeling?"
>That had to be a hard sell.
"That's right. Tell me where he is, and I'll leave you all be."
>"Do you take me for a fool, changeling? Malevolence of your ilk is not stayed by meeting its demands."
"Hah. You're not as dumb as you look."
>"Hmph. I take it that the Destroyer whom you serve wishes for his swift death?"
>Again with that 'Destroyer' business.
"No. I want his death. And I promise you, he's not going to survive tonight."
>"We'll see about that, creature."
"Oh, will we? Don't tell me you're gonna try and stop me."
>"Then I will not."
>Without warning, his trident rolls off his back and into his hooves, and he launches himself towards you.
"Wait a minute," you say with a bit of a start, "You're the leader?"
>"Are you surprised?"
>Yeah, you kinda are!
>You expected to see maybe an 'esteemed champion' type, like an evil Vegter, not their fucking leader!
"Didn't figure a guy like you would just show up, right in the thick of things."
>"Oh I assure you, I would not have come here at all were it not for factors beyond my control."
"And those would be what, exactly?"
>"Human," Veldheer smirks, "Do you believe I am as loose with my words as your insufferable counterpart?"
>"I am here as your enemy this day, and I've every intention of slaying those who stand in my way. For the time being, that is all you need to know."
>Is this fucking guy gonna give you anything to work with?
>Hmm, what if...?
"Fine, then what about this 'insufferable counterpart'?"
>"Ahh, yes. Now that we are face to face, I can't help but notice some curious similarities."
"That fucker and me have diddly shit in common."
>"Ahh, forgive my poor choice of words. Comparing you to him was uncalled for. But you must have noticed, as I have, that you two appear quite similar."
"I wouldn't call hair loss a big similarity."
>"The same cannot be said of that curious facial marking."
>The question mark...?
>"There's quite a bit more. Your hoofwork upon seeing me was remarkably like his."
>The fuck is this guy on about?
>"Your eyes, too, are alike. That studious quality to your gaze, always searching for a way to succeed even under such pressure."
>As opposed to the whole confident psychopath look he's got going on?
>"The look suits you far more than it does him, human. However, all this only begs the question. What precisely is your history with him, Insurgent Anonymous?"
>Oh you don't like where this is going.
"My history with him? Well that's easy. He's an asshole."
>Okay good, he's laughing.
>Maybe now he'll drop the subject--
>"As endearing as your bluntness is," he says, flipping from laughter to a pointed smirk far faster than you're comfortable with, "That is not an answer."
>"And I find your transparent attempts to evade my questions far less endearing, human."
>"Such deceptions befit schemers more than they do warriors, so let us dispense with them, shall we?"
>What the actual fuck is with this guy?
>"All right," Razor starts, "I think you've--"
>"You will speak when you are spoken to, Equestrian," Veldheer snaps.
>Whoakay, he just went from smiling to pissed in the blink of an eye there!
>"Interject again, and you shall die where you stand. You will not be warned again."
>You're not sure what surprised you more: this guy's lightning fast shifts in tone, or how he just shut Razor down with barely any effort.
>Wait, wait, wait!
>Maybe this could work for you!
"Look, if you don't want him around, he can--"
>"Your companion will remain right by your side, human. Seen and not heard, like a good soldier."
>He's right back to smirking at you, only this time it's a more knowing smile.
>A cold sweat starts to develop.
>No, damn it, you need this!
"Listen, he's not gonna stab you in the back. I just want him to--"
>"Give you an opportunity to use your precious trump card?"
>And just like that, the cold sweat evolves into dread.
>How did he--?!
>"That was quite impressive, I will admit. Slaughtering the other human's creations in a single fell swoop like that is no small feat, even knowing how worthless they are in practice."
>You barely notice yourself taking a step back in response to his step forward.
>"No doubt it was you that quieted their baying mere minutes ago. I should have known that his idea of 'reinforcements' was to send a collection of those things in place of true warriors."
>He's smiling a lot for someone who had his backup taken out!
>"I almost wish I could have witnessed it for myself. I..."
>He stops, as if rethinking his words.
>"No, not quite," he corrects, "What I truly wish for is to see him witness it for himself."
>Oh, he's really smiling now.
>"You see, it was that human's expression after seeing your hoofiwork that truly pleased me, Insurgent Anonymous. Seeing the look of one so used to being in control, losing his grasp upon the situation."
>His smirk grows darker.
>"The same look you now wear, human."
>Jeeeeeesus Christ...!
>"I'm surprised that the Kunstenaars allowed you to carry such a powerful weapon with you, human. But you were not very subtle about it's limitations. I am well apprised of it's indiscriminating power to kill."
>He steps forward, you step back.
>"And I know that your repugnant fantasies of heroism and friendship prohibit you from using it, should your companions be at risk of incurring it's effects."
>He begins circling around you two at a slow pace, his dark smirk never fading.
>"Robbed of that option, that leaves you with nothing. Your companion has no hope of defeating me, and your form is even frailer than that of your counterpart. It is not an exaggeration to state that you are currently less threatening to me than an adolescent filly."
>He continues to circle around like a wolf, something not helped by his chuckling.
>"That is the truth of your situation. Perhaps now you will cease deluding yourself into believing you can wrest control of our exchange away from me?"
>His circling stops once he completes a 180 around you two, and he goes back to taking small steps forward.
>"Though if you insist, I shall not stop you. Dashing such fool's hopes never ceases to amuse me."
>Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
>This is worse than the fucking rune monsters!
>No, he's fucking with you, that's it!
>There can't not be a way outta this!
>You've just gotta think of something!
>Come on, think!
>Think, God damn it!
>Okay, this fucker's chuckling is not helping matters!
>"Ahh, but we were discussing your counterpart, were we not? Let's return to our conversation before you fully rationalize away your fears, shall we?"
>Gah, fuck!
>"I believe you were about to tell me the truth behind your connection to that other human?"
>Fucking shit, this isn't good!
>Okay, get a hold of yourself Anon.
"What's there to tell? He showed up outta nowhere and almost killed me and my friends!"
>No, get a grip!
>"Ahh, so vengeance is your driving force? I can understand such motivations, human. But then, that doesn't answer why you two are so similar to one another, does it?"
>Deep breath.
"If you're asking if we knew each other before this, the answer is no."
>"Even if you weren't lying to me again," he says with a small dip in his smile, "I'd find that very hard to believe."
"I'm finding it hard to believe myself."
>"I'm sorry? I don't believe I follow."
"You're not the first guy to notice this shit, Veldheer. And I'd like a good answer to it, too."
>"Would you? I assume you mean that your recollection of him is... incomplete?"
"You could say that."
>He stops his slow continuing approach, creasing his brow in thought.
>`Tampered memories, perhaps?` he mutters to himself, obviously expecting you to not understand him. `Just as it is with her?`
>With more unnerving speed, he goes back to a genuine smile.
>"I see. That certainly does raise questions as to your counterpart's true intentions. But if you cannot recall the details, then pressing this further has little point to it."
>Oh thank God, he's letting this go.
"What about him?"
>"Ahh, you wonder if the converse is true of him? I do not know, sadly. I did not care enough to ask."
>God damn it.
>"Though if I did know, I'd have been happy to tell you."
>All this talk of Nito is doubling as a wonderful source of anger.
"He sure seems to be on your mind a lot."
>"As much as I wish he was not."
"If you hate him so much, why work with him? Why do this?"
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Knew I shouldn't have said anything last update. Sickness, other engagements, and more happened. Even called it last update, too. So much for my fast January pace, huh?
I'm gonna take that as a sign to stop promising shit I can't always deliver on, and say next update is coming Soon™. Soon™, you shall have the next segment.
Anywho, project #2 needs my diligent out-of-practice writefag touch, so in the meantime, you can reindulge yourself in project #1 with this handy Pastebin link. https://pastebin.com/D8zmMPD4
>predictive text bot
Dubs compel me to ask for your URL. I seriously have to try this with my own greentexts.
Pretty sure it was this one

This is correct. It takes a bit of playing with, and formatting after the fact. But the results have been amazing.
I also did a Moonie short and a Flutterrape story through it. All have been horrifyingly spot on.
Hmm. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. I put a single text file together of a bunch of dumb clop stories I wrote in 2013-14 and fed it in.

All that came out was:

> " i know it feels amazing
> pleasure so intense that you have sometimes wondered if it weren't know what to call you ' white horse
> and you begin to stroke the horn more rapidly with both of your lips softly against hers as well
> pleasure so intense that you have the tip that makes amazing with my belly into kind into hers
> as she grins you look into she and now be fun for a moment you think of long time " next time
> after what you figure is her third or fourth orgasm drives her shuddering to her knees
> and you begin to stroke the horn almost uncomfortable as she follows to be a daddy? to the bed
> you look back there are thousands starting at the base and she has lovely helical violet eye
> the back to her health with your hot load hooves and you are a long pause of a male
> you don't of a male with me ' this
> might " you like next when she's like a bit strange room for her eyes glazed around it
> except it in a husky with me ' this
> might " handwriting you want them had been in equestria before 982 welcome on earth you want them
> had been in equestria and down her cheeks pop you to speak before i can never ask how do with you
> don't in this time for the way that stuff to it do to something and wonder anenome her want on this royal
> for yours are rewarded with immediate moans as it happened it and she won't think you're to get that stuff out
> at octavia's atmosphere you look into butter you feel your hand you a horse for several ponies
> with pleasure and she screeches a primal cry of pleasure as a shower of pleasure steps from her vulva
More than one helps.

Yeah, I had to feed in like 40k words. And then I had to kind of format and direct the punctuation, adding commas and " marks when needed.
>Yeah, I had to feed in like 40k words
40K joke goes here
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holy fuck this is funny
Oof, blueballed at what a really awful time with the plot, there.
No worries HK. I'm glad you're still working on it. I'd hate to come so far only to have the story incomple
>He doesn't recognize Zala
Different Anon here, who?
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A flavour of the month we had a couple months ago.
She's a cute little zebra filly who's obsessed with the royal guard and thinks ponies are the bees knees. She loves Equestrian culture even though she knows so little about it and dreams of travelling to Canterlot.
She also may or may not be a cocksock. I mean, what did you expect?
>Zala somehow infiltrates the 1488 battalion
>Slowly she makes her way to the front, sitting beside a blonde white mare
>"This is so cool" - she says, grabbing the mare's attention
>Anon, being close by, decides to intervene between Zala and Aryanne
>And with the ruckus, one of the princess show up
>Right as anon is holding both ponies in the air, one hand holding Zala's forehoof and another for Aryanne's
>Although the grown mare weight and trashing doesn't make this any easier
>Seeing Anon holding Zala and Aryanne like that makes the princess think he's involved somehow
>So both ponies and the human are sentenced to live together to learn about living in harmony
A story about a little filly travelling to canterlot and following around guards and mimicking them sounds impossibly cute.
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Does this fit into AiE and if not where do I put this?

gif not related.

>----------The Next Morning----------------
>The pudding spent the night in a giant metal water silo.
>To be honest you still have a few doubts about the hygenic-ness of all this.
>Even though you did try some of the pudding last night inbetween hosing it away.
>But you haven't vomited from your face or spent the night in the bathroom vomiting from the other exit. Which you suppose is a good sign
>If your constitution can handle floor pudding, ponies certainly can. You've seen ponies eat some wild stuff.
>In fact you only remember seeing ponies sick from food twice and those were culinary abominations. With extra abominable.
>This is an odd train of thought but you don't really have much to do right now except ponder the mysteries of the digestive system.
>You and Twilight went over to Sugarcube Corner earlier to see if Pinkie was onboard with the giveaway.
>She gasped, you think she said 'Oh my gosh', there may have been a yes in there but she was going rapidfire and you just tuned her out.
>Normally you'd consider it rude not listen to a friend when they're talking, but this is different.
>You're not doing it to be rude, you just can't understand Pinkie when she talks that fast. You just smile and wait until she's done and somepony translates.
>Afterwards Pinkie ushered you all out and told you to meet her in the market square at noon.
>Twilight's original plan was to use your market stall, since it's a bit larger than a pony stall.
>You can fit in a normal pony stall but your head constantly brushes against the ceiling. You need proper headroom to peddle your goods and services.
>Anyway Pinkie veto'd that so she could build her own 'Super Duper Pudding Party Giveaway Stall'
>So now you wait and wonder what it takes to make a pony have a rumbly tumbly.
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Wow, this update ended abruptly.
It fits but you are basically retelling every third AiE story from 2012.

>Anon is straight-up autistic
>he creeps ponies out
>o noes teh grimdark evil magics
>poners want to save Anon in spite of his creepy autism

Is he about to become a Villain Stu and eclipse all the show's existing antagonists? Will he have Queen Chrysalis and NMM in his harem?

Discard it all and start over, please.
He isn't wrong. You need some new ideas.
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I'd hug that
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More Mini Darkie when
8th's Nightmare Moon newfriend.
nightmare moon isn't a newfriend, she's been here since s1e1
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You're funny, you die last.
That's flippin' adorable, right there.
Aww, that'll take forever
I've been working on non-aie stuff recently.
Though I've half written like 3 shorts, I should probably just finish one of them and post it.
>8th is cheating on us
. _.
Oh no
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Man I get that the lot of you are veterans of many stories, but let's not do a total shutdown on the guy to the point where he just goes "Ok".

How do I into writing? stuff going on here. I'll read and critique. Get back to you in a sec.
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>How do I into writing?
This shit is surprisingly uncomplex, which is not the same as easy. The proest of protips incoming:
If you want to write, write. Don't ponder it, don't think about it, just fucken do it. Will it be any good? Who the fuck knows, but you won't find out until you stop kvetching and actually put words down on your medium of choice.
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I don't see a ring on this finger, cunt.

>Wait. Who fixed what?" You ask the doorway Moonie was standing in a moment ago where she yelled an incomplete sentence before zipping off.
>"Trixie has fixed the cauldron," she returns to roll her eyes at you.
"It broke?"
>"She couldn't use it to look back an the other world's history, remember?"
"And she can now?" You ask getting excited.
>You grab a couple bags of chips then the two of you dart off immediately to burst into Trixie's wagon.
>"TRIXIE WANTS--" shrieks Trixie before you cut her off by shoving a bag into her mouth.
>Then the three of you huddle around the cauldron as Trixie looms over the cauldron to tune it in.
>"So, obviously we're going to find out how big me gets stuck with snot-nose Anon, right?"
>Trixie nods.
>"I wonder what unspeakable evil she must have done," Moonie grins, "To be dealt such an unbearable punishment."
"I doubt she did anything."
>Moonie looks up, a curious brow raised.
"She seemed like a bit of a softie to me."
>Moonie's face goes red, likely a mix of embarrassment and anger, then tries to shout but can't seem to work out what she wants to say. All she manages to splutter is various indignant noises. You smile at her, having done what you set out to do. While she does seem a softie compared to what you've heard she used to be like, tyrannical dictator after all, you doubt that wasn't the reason. Likely Moonie is closer to the mark but it's just one of Celestia's reform tactics she does.
>She looks up with a mouth coated in chip salt.
"What do you reckon?"
>She shrugs, "Trixie isn't even sure how you two ended up together."
>"I still haven't told you that story yet?"
"Oh, I've still not told you that story?"
>"No. And you promised Trixie you would."
"Okay, well sometime after this I will."
>Trixie rolls her eyes, not believing a word of it then finishes her final element of her magic and is able to finally weave into another world.

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>Adult Nightmare Moon is skulking around Canterlot Castle at night. She takes a few steps then stops at a window to look up into the stars to mumble something unintelligible.
>"What's up?" squeaks a chipper little human.
>Nightmare Moon looks down and then growls, flashing her pearly white and razor sharp teeth widely at him.
>"Why are you in such a bad mood?" he asks, seeming to be completely unfazed by the horror show in front of him.
>"Leave mortal creature. Lest I swallow you whole."
>"Princess Celestia says when I'm in a bad mood I should talk about it," kid Anon adds before sitting beside Nightmare Moon.
>"You're not scared?"
>There's a bit of silence in those wide marbled halls as Nightmare Moon seems to appraise the child beside her for a while. Then once she seems to reach some conclusion in her head, she rolls her eyes and nudges him to his feet.
>"Come on, where is your room?"
>Anon tells her and the two quietly walk through the halls. Once there, she shoves Anon in and closes the door behind her. Only, Nightmare is barely down before Anon appears beside her again.
>"What?" she looks back to see the door was silently left open.
>"I'm Anon. Short for Anonymous cause nobody knows where I'm from. Huh, that kinda rhymes. I'm Anon and nobody knows where I'm from. Anon, I don't where where I'm from," chirps Anonymous.
>"I don't care."
>"Hi 'I don't care.' That's an odd name," he giggles.
>"It's actually Nightmare Moon," she hisses back, 'Now go to bed."
>"I'm not tired."
>Nightmare Moon grips him by the back of the collar with her magic, lifts him into the air much to Anon's delighted squeals, and plunks him back down into bed.
>"Sleep. It appears that is what the night must be for."
>Nightmare Moon's tone is bitter and icy, none is directed at Anon as her eyes seem to glaze back to some place else.
>"Night time is the best time to explore though."
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>"Yeah, everyone else is asleep so I can do what I want."
>"Not everyone. There are many guards patrolling for little trouble makers like you."
>"They've never caught me before," the kid grins mischievously.
>Nightmare Moon tries to contain the smile on her face and does a good job of it after a second. It's hard to tell if Anon noticed the brief flash of a grin as he seems almost lost in his own world.
>"I'm thirsty."
>"Fine," Nightmare grunts, "You stay here, I'll get you something."
>And with a huff and a puff, Nightmare Moon blusters off to the kitchen. The halls are as empty as they always are. Nightmare Moon thinks about the guards, namely about how she herself never sees them. Though in her case, it's likely they all avoid her. Which is fine. She'd rather be left alone anyway.


>Once Nightmare Moon arrives into the kitchen, she steps up the fridge and stops. Then she looks down beside her to find Anon smiling up at her.
>"I thought I told you to stay put."
>"You did."
>There's a pause.
>"Why didn't you?"
>"Cause I'm thirsty now," Anon replies matter-of-factly as if it's clear as day.
>Then Anon grabs a nearby wooden chair and begins to slide it over. The legs grip onto the floor to make an awful screeching noise as they slide.
>He stops then when Nightmare says nothing more, Anon starts pushing again.
>"Look, just--Ugh!" Nightmare Moon lifts the chair with her magic and brings it over to a nearby bench.
>"But I want to sit there," Anon protests with the kind of whine only a really annoying child can muster.
>With another heave of magic, the chair is over where he wanted it.
>"I could have just sat there if it's such a bother."
>Teeth mash and grind together in Nightmare's mouth while an eyeball twitches. But that fades away the second Anon snickers, letting her catch onto what is going on.
>"Funny," comments Nightmare as she fills a glass with water then puts it in front of Anon, "Drink then bed."
>"No more getting out of bed. No more trouble. No more following me. Just sleep."
>"I said okay."
>"And I don't believe you."
>He laughs into his drink, blowing little bubbles, "You catch on quicker than Celestia."
>Internally, Nightmare cheers herself on. The cheering going from just one little version of herself clapping before multiplying into an amphitheatre full of Nightmare Moons clapping and cheering a singular Nightmare Moon at the centre. That one bows and revels in all the praise as roses are thrown at her hooves. Externally she is calm and composed, refusing to give any hint she is riding that little comment all the way into superior smugness.
>Once Anon has has his drink, the two walk back to his room where Nightmare tucks him in. She uses her magic to get it very tight but once Anon rolls onto his side, the blanket comes undone. But she didn't need to worry as the kid softly yawns and seems content to finally stay in bed.


>It's breakfast, the next day. Princess Celestia and Luna sit at the head of the table. On one side is Anon, eating some cereal and happily humming to himself and on the other is Nightmare Moon who is grumpily glaring at anyone who looks her way. Then down the rest of the table is various noble stallions and mares, though there is a three seat gap between Nightmare Moon and the most terrified stallion.
>Anon looks up at Nightmare Moon who glares at him so he smiles back.
>"I want him seated somewhere else."
>Celestia and Luna seem to perk up at this, even exchanging curious looks.
>"Who?" Luna asks.
>"Anon. The child."
>"You... Know his name?"
>"What is so strange about that?"
>"He has been here for months and this is the first time you've acknowledged his existence," Luna replies, an angry snappish tone hidden under the overall regal politeness her manner suggests.
>"We met last night," mentions Anon.
>"Really?" the sisters say in unison with an almost identical smile.
>"You weren't scared of her, were you Anonymous?" Luna prods, her grin growing all the more.
>"Nah, it's funny when she tries to be scary."
>"Oh," Celestia gives a sideways smirk to Moonie, "So, you don't find Miss Nightmare Moon scary at all?"
>Little Anon shakes his head.
>"Then how would you describe her?"
>Celestia's grin seems to grow as she watches Anon mull over his reply. Every second seems to stretch it a little bit more as if she knows what's coming. Even her quick glances at Nightmare Moon give that away.
>"Um, silly, or... maybe cute."
>Nightmare Moon's eyes shrink to the barest of pin-pricks before enlarging with a furious rage. Clouds begin to swell overhead and the crackling of thunder can be heard outside.
>"What?" snarls Nightmare Moon as lightning flashes beyond the nearest window, reflecting off her razor sharp teeth.
>The whole scene terrifies the nearby ponies. A few even duck under the table. Luna only now gives a cautious look to her sister who returns it as they both wonder if Celestia pushed too far. It's hard to tell where Nightmare Moon's short fuse ends after all.
>Nightmare's nose pushes against Anon's as she growls at him.
>"Hello Nightie," Anon grins, deliberately oblivious to Nightmare's temper.
>"I am the night incarnate born beyond entropy. All your and every pony's nightmares made corporeal is my form. The power I wield is the moon's fury. Fear me!"
>Anon muffles a snicker before letting out a very poor wail of fear which brighten's Nightmare's face up. Though you're not sure if she knows he is clearly pretending or not.
>"The end hath come for you, Anonymous the human child," she cackles loudly.
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>Anon giggles a little and then scurries to his feet to run off. As he runs through the halls a mix of shrieks and giggles can be heard while Nightmare Moon gives chase, cackling all the while.
>"Sister, I know what you're thinking." Luna remarks as she steps beside Celestia.
>"Can you blame me?"
>"They do seem a... an odd match."
>"They're both very odd," Celestia adds with a nod, "She'll protest every moment though."
>"Maybe outwardly, but it appears to us that she has taken a shine to him."
>"I think you're right, sister."
>"Dibs on the declaration," Luna beams wryly.
>Celestia scoffs irritably at having not seeing that coming and on missing out. Nightmare Moon's face is going to be priceless.


>"By all that is evil, kid you is intolerable."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black," you reply in your best sing-song imitation of kid you.
>"What's that supposed to mean?" Moonie barks back.
>"Get out! Both of you," Bellows Trixie.

https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt @Line 1693
so basically a nyx?
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>Anon has been living in Equestria for a week, and during that time he never told the ponies his real name.
Remember that we're all going to be reading this as a little voice in our head - flow matters. The beginning of a story is always the initial hook. I gotta get past page one, that kinda shit. I'm going through this line by line and will do some recap thinking at the end. Here, I'm seeing that you find not telling his name is a thing of importance. So, how can I deal with the pacing of words and flow of information?
>Anon has been living in Equestria for a week. During that time, he has never told the ponies his real name.
Slight edit to put things into past tense. We can get into present tense if we catch up to Anon today.
>Anon had been living in Equestria for a week. During that time, he never told the ponies his real name.
There's a bunch of different routs, honestly. "For a week, Anon had been in Equestria, and for a week, he had remained secretive about his name." It really comes down to what you think is important.

>The ponies tried to get Anon to tell them his feelings, but he turned them all down. Twilight asked Anon about his past life, sure he responded but only with half truths. Nopony knew anything about Anon and were afraid he was keeping dark secrets. Twilight didn't know how to help his friend Anon so she sent a letter to Princess Celestia requesting aid.
Alright, so here's the entire opening bit, yeah? Anon's secretive, Twilight seeks the held of her mentor. That's what's going on here. So, grammatical tweaks.
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>Anon had been living in Equestria for a week. During that time, he never told the ponies his real name. The equines tries to get Anon to tell them his feelings, but he turned them down. Twilight had asked anon about hispast life, but he responded only with half truths. Nopony knew about Anon's past, and were afraid he kept dark secrets. Twlight didn't know how to help her new friend, so she sent a letter to Princess Celestia requesting aid.
Alright start, as far as stories go. We got a guy, he's a bit of a grumpy gus, bit of a social outsider. Minor air of mystery.
>Her golden chariot arrived a day later, Anon met her outside. When Anon and Celestia met for the first time they both knew the other was wearing a fake smile. Celestia figured he must be up to no good, because she has never met another creature with such a false smile with so little emotions behind it. Anon on the other hand was very interested in Celestia, sure her smile was more genuine but it was still fake, Anon really wanted to learn about her and tried to make a good impression. "Ah, Celestia I assume. A pleasure to met you." Anon said as he bowed dramatically. "I heard that you came here to talk to me, please come in." Anon opened the door for her and followed her in afterwards. She then sat on a cushion while I sat on a stool. (Stools are better than cushions.) It was then that Celestia decided to talk.
You clearly want standing conflict beteween Anon and the higher-ups. Lets see what some pacing edits do.
>Her golden chariot arrived a day later. When Anon met Celestia for the first time, they both knew the other wore a fake smile. Celestia assumed he was up to no good, as she had never met a creature with so false a smile and lack of emotion behind it. Anon, on the other hand, was very interested in Celestia. Sure, her smile was more genuine, but it was still fake. Anon really wanted to learn about her, so he tried to make a good impression.
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>"Ah, Celestia, I presume. A pleasure to meet you," Anon said, bowing dramatically.
>"I heard that you came here to talk to me. Please, come in."
>Anon opened the door for her , following in afterwards. She sat on a cusion, with Anon preferring a stool. It was then Celestia decided to talk.
Again, I'm mostly focusing on how a reader is going to have to narrate this to himself. Commas give pauses, period give breaths. It's all in the head, but it helps with flow. It also helps bifurcate the important segments from one another.
>"Anon, I've heard a lot about you recently."
>"Nothing bad, I hope?" Anon sarcastically replied.
Note, I feel that the above is babying the reader. The implication of sarcasm is strong enough in the turn of phrase itself, comined with the already tense situation.
>"No, not necessarily. I have heard that you keep to yourself - and refuse to tell others about yourself. Why do you refuse to speak of yourself?"
Note, here, I've made some pacing edits that relate to both timing and severity. The em dash can be used in place of commas when the thing inside the em dashes is viewed as of greater importance than the rest of the sentence. Comma breaks are for things viewed as being of equal importance. Em dashes can help inscribe tone. Here, Celestia is stating that keeping to yourself is one thing, but refusing to be sociable is of another, more severe weight.
>Anon mulled this over a bit. "Well, I find talking about myself pointless, and I don't wish to speak of my past because I have secrets."
>The princess raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised. "Surely there is something interesting in your life that you could share with others."
>"Hm, nope. I simply exist. My previous purpose in life was to help humanity move forward."
>Celestia looked questionably at you. "What is your purpose now?"
We've got some breaks in third person and second person going on here. I'm not going through the edit hassle on those.
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>Anon could only think of one thing. "For now, I wish to learn everything unique about this planet and it's inhabitants. But most particularly, I wish to learn about all the magics in this land."
>"All the magics you say." Celestia grinned. "Surely that doesn't include necromancy and other dark magics?"
Im leaving some periods here and there that may be potential errors and should be question marks. It's hard to be certain, as the use of the period instead could be conveying the command style of speaking. "All the magics, you say?" is read differently than "All the magics, you say.". Question marks are lifting, periods are more blunt.
>Anon considered lying to her but decided he didn't care If it was a crime or not. "Yeah, sure, magic is a useful tool, and like any tool it can be dangerous in the wrong hands."
>Celestia was both surprised at my honesty and angry that I would want to learn such dangerous and disturbing magic. "Anon Dark magic and necromancy are evil, they can corrupt you!"
This is a bit tricky. There's been a narrative change here where Anonymous is going from being viewed to doing the storytelling. He's also godmodding a bit without explaining himself as to how he can do it. That is, simply knowing that Celestia was angry and surprised at the honsetly, rather than inferring it from after the point she spoke. The most direct route would be to keep the pace of the omniscient third person viewer we've had so far.
>Celestia was both surprised at the outburst of honesty and angry that Anon would want to learn such dangerous and distrubing magic. "Anon, Dark magic and necromancy are evil - they can corrupt you!"
>Anon raised an eyebrow at her outburst. "So says the princess of harmony. I would think that a harmonious country would learn how to include magics of all types and use them. Guess not."
>Celestia ignored that statement and labeled it as nonsense.
Babying the reader a bit here. Lets try...
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>Celestia ignored the statement. "Anon you need help, but don't worry - I will find a way to fix you." Celestia got up and left. Hm it seems I misunderstood, I figured she was at least similar to the understanding pony she is in the books. Anon pondered this while diving into more magic books.
You jump into internal first person dialogue here. A fix might be...
>With that, Celestia left. Anon pondered their meeting while diving deeper into his collection of magic books. He seemed to misunderstand Celestia. She was dissimilar to the understanding pony he found in pony writings. To him, at least.
>Celestia didn't understand why Anon told her these things but the things he said got her thinking.
This bit is also a slight narrative jump. We were in Anon's head, but then suddenly in Celestia's. The reader has to reorient himself mid-sentence as to what brain he's mucking about in. It's a trickier rewrite, saving it for later.
>He wished to seek out darkness - maybe he has been corrupted already? Should the elements be used on him to purify him of this darkness so he can live happily? Celestia put on a determined face and decided to gather Twilight and her friends.
>The day slowly passed, and it soon found Anon in the Canterlot Castle throne room.
I'm making slight readability edits as I go here. Keep in mind to compare these to the originals.
> "Princess, this is the second time we have met today, surely my presence isn't that alluring to you, is it?" Anon smirked on the inside at his illogical joke.
Bit of a time skip here. Anon and Celestia are meeting again because... reasons. No talk of a summons or what have you just, forward in time.
>Celestia continued smiling. "Actually, Anon, I brought you here so that I can help you."
>Anon for the first time frowned in Equestria. "Celestia, there is nothing to help, unless you wish to bestow upon me the forbidden knowledge of magic."
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>Celestia gave a sad frown and used magic to hold Anon in place while opening the doors to the side of her throne.
This can be read as her throne having doors. It could be rewritten with the room's geometry in mind rather than being focused on the throne.
>"No, Anon. We won't let corruption take you. I was to late to save my own sister, but I can still save you."
>Anon tried to free himself to no avail and accepted whatever fate he had. Twilight walked up to him. "Don't worry Anon. Once we remove your darkness, you will be able to live a happy and normal life."
>This only made Anon more unhappy. "Twilight, emotions are pointless. Why be happy when I can be rich and well fed?"
"More unhappy" is a bit low on the dollar-word count. Could spruce it up a bit.
>Twilight frowned. "Don't worry This will all be over soon. Once your purified you will be happy just like Luna." Twilight and her friends charged the elements of 'harmony' and blasted away Anon's darkness, pushing it out of the castle and off the edge of the mountain. It left behind an overly emotional human that was only concerned with making himself happy and finding love.
>Afterwards the human renamed himself 'Jared' and went back to Ponyville with his new friends. He happily joked with them and told them all about his advanced planet. He told them that he got here in a magical accident and then cried when he remembered he will never see his family. His new friends comforted him before they all went home and went to their personal beds.('Jared' decided to stay at Twilight's house.)
>While this was all happening a dark mist was forming itself into a vaguely humanoid shape at the bottom of Caterhorn mountain.
nah, Moonie is our Nyx.
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>It's strange. Have you ever felt every cell of your body at once, and then have your body ripped apart and put together again without feeling pain? That sums up what I felt except without the cells. I looked up. Yes I fell off a mountain, and no, I'm not panicking. Panicking is pointless just like many other emotions. Normal people would ask themselves why they are a floating dark mist. Me? I don't care. All I know is that I have another new purpose now, discover everything I can about this 'body' I have.
This part in first person I couldn't edit as easily, so I left it as it. AiE is generally written in the second person, but you can do whatever you want as long as you remain consistent to first, second, or third.
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Now, sometimes I'd take this kind of thing and do a full rewrite in "my style" for comparison, make some notes about where I fleshed out things and why. Use my branch-offs to aid in your own further inspiration, etc. For now, I'm holding off on that because of some aforementioned comments. Evil, mysterious Anon who's got no reasoning behind why he's so greedy/evil/mean/rude. He's also just "able" to withstand things. He's got a mysterious past that means a lot and we don't get to know anything about it.

Basically, the guy walks into the room, slaps everyone with his dick, say's he's the most important and interesting, then doesn't really give anything to back it up. Or divulge anything as to why. He just is, because author god says so. It's too much power development without enough appeal/hook/character development / character endearment. I could put it into better words if I invested more time, I suppose. Simply put, overly strong characters acting overly strong prior to the audience having a reason to care about them ends poorly. That, and a character that always acts the same way will become stale to read, especially if he's never met with meaningful conflict.

If you do continue down the path of this story, Anon effectively needs to be fleshed out more. Both before he gets split and after. Your best chance at gaining a reader's interest while maintaining the current plot-line is would be to heavily extend the conversations. That is, internal dialogue/disposition of Anon in the intro, then some of his deliberations with twilight that lead her to contacting Celestia, then a more detailed conversation between Celestia and Anon about rights and wrongs.

Just my opinion, and that's already asking you to put a lot of work into what's just an intro, so don't take it too seriously. Consider what value you weight the story at first.
Dropping this here, because it is the best fit.
Lost in Translation, final part.
Previous parts:
1) https://pastebin.com/EyzVnEUX
2) https://pastebin.com/4ZQfMpDB
3) https://pastebin.com/F3RNTbBT

> You turn to where your sister, Generosity, and the Anomaly are sorting through the pile of stones and hiyuman artifacts
> The Anomaly looks up at your approach
> He hefts a crumpled boot with a wry smile
> "Brobably not going to be hanythig useful here, just a lot of boods and molby clothes."
> What an unfortunate accent
> You grab the boot with your magic, turning it idly
"Would it fit?"
> He makes a nonplussed expression
> "I'm not stigging my food in some old bood."
> You roll your eyes
"It shouldn't be difficult to find out. Now hold still."
> You press your magic outward inside the boot, until it might actually hold a hiyuman foot
> Then you wrap magic around his foot, trying to get a sense of-
> The Anomaly makes a strangled cry, his leg twitching
> You cut off your magic immediately, worry and a hint of guilt stirring in your gut
"Did I injure you?"
> He gives you a shaky smile
> "Nah, it just tickled."
> Then his eyes widen as he realizes what he said
> You grin, horn glowing with a dread light

> Be Celestia
> Well, at least Luna's getting some stress relief
> You tune out Anom's yelps and laughter, and turn towards the only one excited by the artifacts
> "Such unusual fabrics! Come, look at the pattern in this soft boot!"
> You settle by Rarity and examine her find
"Hmm, rather geometric."
> She looks at you, her eyes sparkling with the joy of discovery
> What a cute little pony
> "Indeed, but what is more impressive is the regularity of the pattern across a curved surface! It's not painted or embroidered, but a dye set in fine lines with no blotching or bleeding. If I could just rediscover the method..."
> She shivers in place, her mind exulting in the possibilities
> Just then a finger trails across your flank
> You surge halfway to your hooves in surprise, turning to find Anom looking at you pleadingly
> "H-help me."
> Luna laughs triumphantly behind him
> "Yes! Vengeance is mine! Writhe more, worm!"
> Blue magic flickers about Anom's feet, and he twitches and gasps, tears falling from his eyes
> Your voice snaps like a whip, startling her out of her melodramatics
> Her magic fades, and she looks at you inquisitively
> "Something the matter, dear sister?"
> Anom rests a weary head against your leg, the small act bringing a bittersweet warmth to your heart
"I know you and Anom have a..."
> "Vendetta?" She helpfully supplies
"Complicated relationship. But what did you hope to accomplish by torture, especially in my presence?"
> Luna's ears slowly flatten against her head
> Anom hefts an arm over your withers and stands with your support
> You wrap a wing around him
> He coughs
> "It wasn't really torture, exactly. She just got over excited and tickled for too long."
> You look him full in the face, searching his eyes for... something
> He pats your head fondly
> Why does that feel so good?
> Like you have accomplished something amazing?
"Very well."
> Turning to your sister, you sigh
"And you will be more careful?"
> Luna nods with mock solemnity
> "Indeed, I shall endeavor to tickle your consort in a more gentle and circumspect manner."
> That is, behind your back, and perhaps not as long
> This is your lot as older sister, you suppose
"Are we about done here, then? Rarity?"
> "Hm? Oh, yes, pardon me, let me just gather a few things and we can be off."
> A veritable flock of boots float towards the chariot, and you find yourself charmed once again

> Be Chrysalis
> It's warm on the tower top
> You turn the page of the book, warmed in a different way
> Such tumultuous affairs these ponies record
> A low buzzing approaches, then falls silent
> You wait, your eyes focused on the extended metaphor you are choosing to interpret as oviposition
> You suspect this is the appeal of the style, to insert whatever lewd act you desire in the soft belly of the poetry
> You ignore the soft scraping behind you, stretching out an idle hand to play in the breeze
> A faint green mist flows from your fingers down to a waiting mouth
> The pressure that had been building up inside you seeps away, leaving a certain languid contentment
> The last of the carrier drones crawls back down the outer wall, returning to its hivemates in the forest
> The necessary deceit over, you close your book and gaze at a speck high in the sky
> It seems your... bosom companions are returning from their little expedition
> Time to retreat to Celestia's quarters

> Be Anon, king of the boot hill
> On your insistence, no less than three ponies are holding you solidly on top of the pile
> Celestia insists it's not necessary, and Luna had a few things to say about what a frightened little colt you are being
> Doesn't matter, flying in an open chariot car is scary, let alone on top of a pile of old boots
> It's almost enough to distract you from brooding about the portal geode things
> You honestly don't remember how you got to Equestria, and the scenery on the other side of the portals doesn't look familiar
> In fact, it all seems to go to the middle of nowhere
> There would be a very real possibility that you wouldn't be able to find your way back, even if you did make it to civilization
> Not to mention that you aren't too keen on human governments getting wind of this horse paradise somehow
> So, you are going to stay here
> The next question is, what are you going to do?
> You are probably the consort of a princess, which brings certain duties
> Fun ones, but not really time consuming ones
> Maybe you should learn how to massage a horse
> You do want to take this seriously, clearly these mares need more happiness in their lives, and you seem to be good at providing it
> Eh, if nothing else, you can try to write a book

> When you finally land, you hop eagerly to the stones of the landing
> Celestia giggles
> "You really are too cute sometimes."
> Luna snorts
> "I have been awake too long to be dealing with this. Good day, Sister, Rarity, Anomaly."
> With that, she teleports away
> Celestia sighs
> You turn to her, petting her neck comfortingly
> She gives you a slightly sad smile
> "I'm afraid I must go preside over day court. Until then, Anon, Rarity, Twilight."
> She plants a quick, chaste kiss on your cheek
"Until then, Finest Ass."
> She swats your butt with a wing and walks away, a noticeable sway to her hips
> The two unicorns and you watch, transfixed by the sight
> Rarity clears her throat
> "Well, this has been quite the enjoyable morning, I must say. If you'll excuse me, I have a great many things to study."
> And then there were two
> Twilight fusses with her clipboard, a noticeable blush on her cheeks
> Taking the hint, you walk over and place a hand on her withers
"I do believe it is your turn, Ms. Sparkle. The last two times, we were interrupted, and/or rather hurried. How about we take it slow, this time?"
> She meets your eyes, a demure smile on her face
> "I would like that."

> Be Chrysalis, rooting through Celestia's dresser
> There probably won't be a diary, but there may be something interesting mixed in with the skirts and cloaks
> You find a drawer full of towels, and in the back...
> Your claws brush against something rubbery and round
> You retrieve the item, bringing it to the light of a window
> ...
> Did
> Did Celestia take pity on you, and magically disconnect the hiyuman's cock?
> For a brief moment, you feel a surge of gratitude nearly stronger than any feeling you have felt previously
> But the thing in your claws doesn't feel properly fleshy, for all that it is shaped just like that sinister limb
> ...
> You press the tip of it to your lips, letting them part to take in its girth
> At once your nose is filled with Celestia's distinct scent, traces of her past pleasures dancing on your tongue
> Delicious
> You suckle on the toy, draining the emotional residue
> Almost instinctively, your spare claw goes to your teats, grabbing and squeezing at them
> Your hips surge, bucking at air as you drain the past dregs of Celestia's lust from the false fleshrod
> You pull the cock from your mouth, licking your lips
> Still, you feel unaccountably hot and wet
> The body is unfamiliar, but the urges and the desires are as old as time
> Your heart beats in your throat as you bring the head of the toy to your folds
> A quick look around confirms that the door is closed
> You ease yourself onto your back, and push the rubbery cock into your slit
> You let out a hiss, back arching as pleasure blooms from your loins
> Your legs clench around your hand, inadvertently pushing the dildo deeper
> A lightning bolt of pleasure flashes up your spine, wracking your body with an agony of ecstasy
> You moan helplessly, hips bucking at air
> "You alrighd in there?"
> Your blood runs cold
> You turn to look at Anom
> He stands in the doorway, hair mussed, face red, eyes wide
> Most importantly, his robes have an odd protrusion at waist level
> You draw up into a sitting position, covering your marehood with your hands
> You glare at him
"I'm fine. And don't think this gives you permission!"
> He takes a step back, visibly confused
> "Why would it?"
> You yank the toy from your nethers, brandishing it at him
"Don't play coy, you know your master made this to tempt me!"
> He just stares
> "That's my dick."
> You roll your eyes
"Obviously. And just because I'm using it to masturbate doesn't mean you can stick the real thing in me."
> He nods seriously
> "I agree."
> You feel a bit of tension leave your body
> ...
> Anom looks at the ground, then at you
> "Mind if I watch?"
> You frown
> As if you could trust him, when it leaves you so helpless
> ...
> Perhaps you can't trust him too far, but,
"Only if Celestia is there too. Now leave, I have more to do."
> He bows mockingly
> "As you wish."
> Anom closes the door, and you hear his footsteps trail off in the distance
> After several more long moments of waiting in silence, you bring the toy to your moist entrance
> You keep your eyes on the door, heart beating unaccountably quickly at the thought that he might come back, or perhaps it would be Celestia who intrudes on you
> You start again, hoping and hoping not

> Be Celestia, in your mid-afternoon
> Day Court was as it always was, partially making a difference in the lives of your little ponies, partially dealing with the bickering and maneuvering of the rich and elite
> Quite frankly, you are tired and in need of soothing
> Now where is your dear consort...
> You cast a simple directional scrying spell, and set off
> As you get closer, you realise you are heading towards Rarity's workshop
> You don't want to intrude, however
> You check the schedule
> No, it is your turn to have Anom
> When you arrive, you knock on the door
> "Come in~"
> You enter to find Anom standing, clad in a pair of short shorts and a midriff-baring tank top
> He is also obviously dissatisfied with it
> Rarity turns to you and waves a hoof at him
> "What do you think, Darling? Too much? Too little?"
> You tilt your head, considering
> He crosses his arms, lifting an eyebrow
> You grin
"Oh, too much, definitely. Maybe if you could cut it off to here and here,"
> Your magic lights up lines on the shorts following the curve of his hip down to the tantalizing bulge between his legs
"And the shirt could be tighter."
> Anom sighs
> "I don't mind dressing sexily for you, but can I at least have some comfortable, normal clothes?"
> Rarity gazes up at you with her pretty blue eyes
> "Can you believe he even wants to cover his arms and legs in sleeves?"
> You tilt your head, trying to imagine it
"Wouldn't that make it harder to move? Not to mention always having it brush against your skin all the time, that would be so distracting."
> Anom kneels before you, clasping his claws together pleadingly
> "Trust me on this, please."
> You lean down and nuzzle against his cheek
"Of course, dearest."
> Rarity sighs
> "Very well. I shall have the first set ready by morning."
> You smile at her
"I'll be looking forward to it. Come along, Anom. I do believe it is my turn with you."

> You sigh happily, sprawled on the carpet of your room
> Anom kneels at your side, massaging the muscles of your left wing
> You just melt, swaying gently with his ministrations
> "You know, Chrysalis found the oddest thing today."
> You loll your head to the side
"Oh? What was it?"
> Anom finishes your wing and straddles your back
> His warm, firm weight is somehow calming, and ever so slightly erotic
> "A replica of my cock. I wonder how that came to be?"
> You give him an innocent look
"That is a mystery."
> He smirks, his knuckles digging into a knot in your withers
> You groan at the pain and pleasure as your muscles relax under his hands
> "Equally mysteriously, she was using it rather thoroughly in your room."
> You raise your eyebrows
"I thought she was afraid of such things."
> He shrugs
> "Maybe not if she is in control of the movement."
> You consider how you might do that, your tail lashing back and forth
> You spend a few more moments soaking up Anom's sweet attentions before the heat in your nethers becomes unbearable
> You surge to your hooves, steadying Anom on your back with your magic
> He squawks rather cutely
> You trot towards the bed
"Why don't I thank you for that massage?"
> He leans forward, wrapping his arms around your neck, breath hot on your ear
> "Oh? And what do you have in mind?"
> It feels too good, surely he was made to please mares
> You let your magic play across his body as you set him down on the mattress
"I'm sure I'll think of something fun we can do on the bed."
> Pomf

> Be Rarity, trying not to fidget during dinner
> Celestia agreed to meet afterwards, but in the meantime she has been sending you the occasional knowing, almost smug glance
> It is maddening
> Not to mention a distinctly...Anomalous scent lingering about her and your dear friend Twilight
> It is so completely at odds with the decorum with which Celestia and Anom are conducting themselves
> You are a little proud of the latter, Anom is taking rather well to your lessons
> Unbidden, the memory of Anom ravaging Celestia's mouth comes to mind
> You sneak a look once more at the perfectly dignified princess
> It's all just so... scandalous
> You love it
> The two of you stand on a balcony overlooking the gardens as the sun sets
> You draw a small bouquet from a satchel and present it to Celestia
> Her eyes flicker across the selection
> Calla Lily, for her magnificent beauty
> Begonia, her fanciful nature
> Hellebore, a scandal
> Snapdragon, your presumption
> Ivy geranium, a request to join her for the next dance
> She smiles, tucking it behind one ear
> "I'd be glad to, Lady Rarity."
> Your heart thunders in your chest as you approach her
> She kneels, her head drawing level with yours
> You spend a long moment admiring her face from up close, from the elegant curves of her cheekbones to her luminous eyes
> Then you lean forward and press your lips to hers
> Your magic cups her head as your kisses become more passionate, and she responds in kind
> Her mouth is sweet to your taste, her tongue sliding and coiling around your own
> All too soon, she breaks the kiss, leaving you panting
> For her part, her cheeks are fetchingly pink
> Celestia grins at you, her eyes bright
> "That is what fascinated me about you from the start, how you mix decorum and audacity so well."
> You lift your chin, feigning offense
"Audacious? Moi? Perish the thought, I assure you that I merely identify my proper place in society and move to occupy it."
> She giggles
> "Of course, how could I have thought otherwise? Tell me, what will you do now that you occupy your proper place?"
"My duty, of course."
> You boop her nose with your magic
"That is to say, I shall discover everything I can about you, get to know you inside and out, and use that knowledge to make us both as happy as possible."
> Celestia blushes in earnest at your proclamation
> "I'd like that, Rarity."
> Be Chrysalis
> In retrospect, you probably shouldn't have left the toy out on the dresser
> Now you are standing around, waiting for Celestia to retire for the evening
> The hiyuman waits opposite you, sitting on some cushions
> He tries to hide it, but you taste his desire
> It would be pitiful how easy he is to read, if he was not so dangerous to you
> "So, how was your day?"
> You shift your weight from one leg to the other
> Bipedal forms are always so awkward
> He nods, but you get a whiff of disappointment
> You aren't used to accepting food as yourself
> There is no pattern, no habits to fill in
> You'll have to improvise
"And how was your day?"
> He blinks in surprise
> "It was..."
> Anom rubs his face
> "Busy, but good. I think I'm going to like the new routine Twilight set up."
> You taste flickers of desire and satisfaction
> If only you could have replaced him, what love you could have eaten
> Still, it is not as if you are going hungry, and you really only have to worry about one person being a danger
> Your eyes flicker to the toy once more
> Even after using it thoroughly, you are still fascinated by it
> Such a simple shape, but the pleasure it provides...
> You rub your thighs together at the memory
> You feel a spike of lust, and quickly turn your gaze back towards the hiyuman
> He blushes
> "I'm looking forward to tonight as well."
> Oh yes, you did say he could watch
"Good. Remember, always sate yourself with Celestia."
> He grins
> "Like I could forget."
> Reassuringly, you can sense his lust is muffled, not directed at you
> You pause
> You taste something sweet coming
> The door opens, Celestia and Rarity walking side by side
> Celestia looks at you and the hiyuman, then at her newest paramour
> "Rarity, to what extent would you say you want to join in?"
> The unicorn eyes her options, and you can taste her curiosity
> "Far be it from me, to decline any new experiences."
> Anom chuckles
> "As expected of Celestia's most favored pet."
> Rarity blushes
> "I believe we shall have to compete for that title, darling."
> Celestia's horn lights up, levitating the purple maned mare onto the bed, ignoring her yelp and protests
> "Then let's begin, my lovely little pony."
> Rarity's fussing turns to cooing as the princess laps at her marehood
> Anom walks closer to you
> "Looks fun, how about it?"
> You lift an eyebrow at him
"I believe Celestia is rather monopolizing Rarity at the moment."
> He rolls his eyes
> "I meant, how about I go down on you? Or you could sit on my face, if that makes you more comfortable."
> You stare at him
"Sit... on your face?"
> He nods
> "That way, you can get up whenever you want, and I make you feel good with my mouth."
> You like the sound of having an escape option
"Very well."
> Anom shucks off his clothes and hops onto the bed
> You approach cautiously as he lies down, his head near the foot of the bed
> Lust wafts from him, laced with sweet affection
> You can feel your body respond instinctively, growing warmer and wetter
> You climb up, your knees on either side of his shoulders as you kneel over him
> You feel vulnerable, even though you can plainly see he lacks the range of mobility to do any damage with his erection
> You lower your pelvis slowly, until encounter soft, fleshy resistance
> He kisses your sex
> You can feel him hum in amusement
> You'd be angrier, but whatever he is doing is making it hard to feel anything but pleasure
> Your eyes drift close as you press yourself into his tender ministrations, losing yourself in the sensation
> His chest is firm and warm under your hands, reassuring in some way
> You lean forward, drawn by instinct and by scent
> There is a delicious reservoir of love before you
> You lap at its warm, sweet waters, though only drops make it past your tongue
> Anom moans beneath you, and you open your eyes
> You stare at his balls in confusion
> You look a little further down, to find his cock in your mouth
> You blink, and in that momentary darkness, you can sense that reservoir again, so close, but so maddeningly far
> Your mind is thick with lust, both your own and Anom's
> You don't even have to think about it, you suck greedily at his stamen, your tongue politely and insistently petitioning for his nectar
> You grind against his face, your arousal coating his mouth and chin
> With a muffled groan, he opens the floodgates
> Your mouth is filled with his cum, his lust, his love
> You swallow again and again, almost drowning in his essence
> Love and power suffuses your being, performing an unknown alchemy on the hiyuman seed you have swallowed
> Your form burns away in a green flame
> Your wings buzz in happiness
> You are back!
> Anom's dick falls from your open mouth, and you leap on to the floor
> You gaze at yourself in the mirror, eyes wide
> It's your old, familiar body, with every hole and antenna just as you remembered
> "Huh, so that's what you normally look like."
> You turn to face the hiyuman, bracing yourself
> He just smiles
> "You look pretty cool, Chrysalis."
> You can taste the sincerity, as well as Celestia's and Rarity's wariness
> ...
"Thank you."
> You smile a little, feeling safer than you have in days
> You have your magic back, you have control of your form, you have a steady supply of food and a secure nes-
> Oh
> You turn to Celestia, feeling more full than you have in years
"Do you have a room where I can lay our eggs?"
> Celestia blinks, then breathes a sigh of relief
> "How does the treasury sound?"
> Deep in the castle, accessible by only her most trusted subjects
"I'll need the key..."
> Celestia smiles wryly
> "I think I can arrange that."


Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm glad to hear you are doing alright, and I miss you too. Oh, and tell Terra Incognita sorry for me. If this is what it was like getting tickled by someone older and stronger than you so often, well, I'd probably still have tickled her, just less. Luna is pretty nice aside from that, so I won't hold it against her.
On to the good news, I have finally joined my siblings in giving you grandchildren. Sorry it took so long, but I think you'll agree that my 13 make up for the wait. Names and pictures will be at the end of the letter, but you can get a general idea if you think xenomorph. Thankfully, they skipped the facehugger stage and aren't especially acidic. They're a pretty big handful, but Chrysalis used to raising lots of kids at once, so it works out. Let me tell you, seeing her in a cuddle pile with all the kids is pretty adorable, once you get past the whole insect thing. In related news, Celestia got pretty competitive about it, so expect another grandchild in about 7 months.
Not much more to say, really. Life is good, the wives are lovely, and I'm looking forward to seeing you all again once we figure things out from this end. Then we can have one of the strangest family reunions, but we've always been an odd family.

Your son,


P.S.: When we do speak again, I'm going to have the weirdest accent. Hopefully there won't be too much lost in translation.


That's all, folks.
Good shit as usual Uh-hmmm
>all this green today
what the fuck just happened
People off work cause of the snow?
So, is this the end of this story or no? I think I remember this from a long time ago, but thought it was dead.
but 8th updated. It doesn't snow in the land down under.
>Many freeze their butts off when it's -12 C
>Meanwhile, I'm walking around wearing nothing but plain work pants, a t-shirt and an open jacket
Thinking about this sometimes makes me wonder if the ponies would think I'm weird for doing that.
Yeah, it's the end. The story is 4 years old, but people still ask about it, so I ended up finishing it.
Aww, that sucks. Kinda forgot about it but still good it's at least finished.
>tfw it was -11f the other day and went out to start the truck before getting in the shower in just boxers and flipflops
It's going to to me 65 tomorrow.
Fuck this gay midwest
One of the ones who've asked about it here. That was a very satisfying ending. "Lost In Translation" and Mirta's "Option 3" remain my favorite language barrier stories even to this day. Well done. Thank you for finishing it.
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Fluttershy Wants in Your Penis
I hope she doesn't unzip any dicks. That could be very painful.
I'm shocked that you actually finished this 3.5 years after the last chapter. Thx uh hmm!
Also, funny but it feels like Anons Cute Manhood was more like 2012. I forget you weren't part of the first wave of writefags.
>teases sex with Twilight through the whole story
>doesn't actually show it when it happens
Three and a half years for that? What a fucking disappointment.
It was so incredible that words couldn't describe it.
An OC in PiE, Strawberry Jam, has supposedly been getting edged by her human bf for four years now. It's inhumane, I tell you.
I'm glad Luna is getting some measure of satisfaction from Anon. I've been hoping she'll ease up on him now that any misunderstandings have been cleared up. Give their friendship a chance develop even if she doesn't partake in his services. I'm happy Twi finally got to spend some proper time with Anon. Nerd horse deserves it with all the work she's put into things. I love the bit of lore with the bouquet Rarity courted Celly with. That was fabulous darling. All the world building and lore was great in my book. It looks like Chrysi finally admitted to herself that this is were she belongs. Looks like Anon's going to have a big family. I love the make up of this herd/group by the way. I loved the letter at the end too. A perfect ending. The story pushed all the right buttons with me. Thank you for creating and sharing Uh-hmmm.
Thanks, I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
That's really nice to hear as a writefag. As an aside, the flower meanings are entirely real, though the reading probably isn't. I have to say, as I was writing the end, I was worried it would be too abrupt and unsatisfying, so it's reassuring that you liked it so much.
Fair. Honestly, I was trying to do more plot than sex scene later on, and Twilight's two off screen sexings weren't interesting enough or plot relevant enough for me to want to go into detail.
>It's a crazy winter in Ponyville this year
>The blizzard is intense
>And it's cold enough outdoors to make a snowman freeze
>Twilight and Spike, however, are having a comfy time in the treebrary
>Hot chocolate, warm and cozy blankets, and a good book to read
>Something has Twilight wondering a little though
>Where's her guest whom she's letting stay in the treebrary until he finds a place of his own?
>She figures he's just downstairs and reading books himself
>But a glance out the window in her bedroom let's her know otherwise
>Out there
>Right in the middle of a blizzard and extreme cold
>Anon stands looking in the mailbox for today's mail
>Wearing nothing but boxers
>And a cup of coffee
>He takes out the daily newspaper from the mailbox, and then notices Twi staring in disbelief at him
>He just smiles back and holds up the newspaper, as if to tell her that she's got mail
>Then takes a sip from the cup before calmly walking back to the treebrary
>What the fudge?
>Torrential, hurricane-level storm forecasted for Ponyville because Cloudsdale fucked something up and they're WAY behind on their rain quotas
>Anon is out in it cackling like a maniac in the face of the 80MPH winds, holding an Equestrian Flag.
>Fair. Honestly, I was trying to do more plot than sex scene later on, and Twilight's two off screen sexings weren't interesting enough or plot relevant enough for me to want to go into detail.

Whilst writing lengthy and detailed clop with Celestia and Luna with Anon for Lost in Translation? Admit it, you just like seeing Purple cock-blocked.
>Admit it, you just like seeing Purple cock-blocked.

Not that guy, but I do in fact prefer seeing Purple cock-blocked. And seeing purple cock get blocked. Though I don't really like to see purple cock at all.
>When you arrived at the 'Super Duper Pudding Party Giveaway Stall' Pinkie had set up, it resembled a stage more than anything.
>You soon learned why.
>Aside from Pinkie occasionally breaking into dessert related song, she'd convinced Rarity and her Pony Tones quartet to put on a show.
>You'd never been a fan of the barbershop quartet style but Rarity and her group are good singers.
>There was already a line forming when you arrived, Pinkie once again proving she can spread news faster than Rarity can spread gossip.
>Not that you would ever say that out loud, Rarity would, well you don't know what she would do. But it wouldn't be pleasant.
>Before you could begin spooning out that pudding, Twilight had launched into a lecture.
>All about how much pudding there was and how much everyone could have for a fair distribution.
>You followed her rules for a couple of hours.
>Then a group of fillys came up to you with empty bowls in their hooves, eyes and smiles shining up at you, 'Mr Anon can we have some more pudding please?'.
>How could you refuse them. Twilight's rules went straight out the window right there.
>Not that she would ever find out. Around that time she got very distracted.
>Pinkie had got tired of singing and decided to indulge in some culinary mad science.
>Adding random ingredients to a bowl of pudding in an attempt to reanimate it and make friends with it.
>Twilight stopped her, probably for the best considering the mess it made of the castle last time it was alive.
>But you can't help but wonder if she might have succeeded. She had made friends with that blob creature Discord brought to the gala.
>Same principle. Sort of.
>But it doesn't matter. Pudding was eaten. Mad science was prevented. Ponyville found another excuse to have a party.
>And you totally weren't manipulated by a steady stream of cute pony children into giving them extra pudding.
>Around evening time all the pudding was finally gone, the party died down and everyone started heading home.
>Except you. A new term at the Friendship School starts tomorrow and you a have a couple of things to do.
>First things first, check the building and make sure everything is where it should be.
>The supplies, the furniture, the other stuff.
>To be honest you're not taking this part too seriously. Twilight runs this school.
>She probably has Spike do this check twice a week.
>Ah to hell with it. Everything is probably fine, you're going to jump to your other task.
>Get all the snow off the sports field.
>You raid your office for a shovel and head out.
>As you fling snow everywhere on the running track, it hits you that it's odd to have a shovel in an office, next to a desk for paperwork.
>Despite having worked here since it opened, you're still not entirely sure what your job title is at the school.
>You feel like that gym teacher who ends up teaching maths and doing a whole load of other shit he's not qualified for.
>In your case with a bit of janitor and secretary thrown in.
>After about an hour of shovelling the track is clear, good thing too. It'll be moonrise soon.
>Still you take a moment to stand back and survey your handiwork.
>"What the hell is that?"
>There's a giant rock sitting on the bleachers. Guess you're not quite finished here, that'll have to go.
>As you grab hold of the rock and start to lift, it screams and there's a flash of light.
>You let out a completely manly scream and throw the rock away.
>Looking down at the screaming, flashing rock, you see it's actually Ocellus.
>Oh crap you just threw a student at the ground.
>"Ocellus, are you alright? Did I hurt you? Does anything feel weird?"
>The changeling pulls herself out of the snowdrift you threw in her in.
>"I'm alright, you just startled me. Erm, why did you throw me in the snow?"
>"Well, you were a rock. I was cleaning up the place."
>Ocellus suddenly looks embarrassed.
>"Oh.... I must have changing in my sleep."
>You're not entirely sure why that would be embarrassing, maybe it's like the result of a changeling nightmare.
>"Why are you out here alone and asleep?"
>You would also mention the cold but things don't really get that cold, despite all the snow and ice.
>Warm boots and a scarf seem to suffice for most creatures. Hell you get by with only a coat.
>The weather required some re-learning from you, when you first arrived, on how it all works.
>"I came out to watch the sunset, I was up late playing games last night. I must have been more tired than a I thought."
>"Not to be rude. But why are you here? I thought all the students had gone home for the holidays?"
>Ocellus launches into a tale about how they all decided to stay for the sake of Gallus.
>That's some Heart Warming stuff for your Hearth's Warming. You hope Twilight knows all about this.

Again this story doesn't really have a point. It's just a stream of Anon's day to day. But it's proven a good exercise for helping me come up with ideas.
>Fair. Honestly, I was trying to do more plot than sex scene later on, and Twilight's two off screen sexings weren't interesting enough or plot relevant enough for me to want to go into detail.
Well, since you're putting this up on FimFiction you could just add those scenes in. I don't think anyone would mind. I certainly wouldn't.
is fine
I like 'em. They're nice enjoyable slice of life reads.
I just got back to this thread after being away for a while. I forgot how much I hated you for some of your stupid storytelling decisions. At the same time, your writing is pretty good. It infuriates me that someone with such potential continuously fucks up the overall story while making the vast majority of updates engaging and fun to read. I keep reading even though I know I'm going to hate something stupid that inevitably will happen. Fuck you.
Can I get a rundown on the recently completed and still living stories? I've been away for a bit. Is the space marine Anon still going?
>lost in fucking translation
Holy shit what a throwback. I remember when it was first posted. Now I need to read the whole thing. Nice.
>Hopefully there won't be too much lost in translation.

When I read this, I got catapaulted back to 2012. You've made me nostalgiac for the innocent, eager writing of the time. is it time to get off the ride?
>I forgot how much I hated you for some of your stupid storytelling decisions.
Care to elaborate?
You're here forever.
The 3rd Anon here. I did. I liked it very much. It was one of the best endings I could've hoped for. It left plenty of room for my imagination to frolic in. I see Auntie Luna reveling in the title. I see Anon "adopting" the rest of hive because he doesn't want his children or their siblings to go 'hungry' once he learns what sustains them. I see Rarity becoming a world renown designer because of what she learned from the boots, etc. Some of the nieces and nephews insisting on accompanying Auntie Rarity on her business trips abroad. Not that there's much to threaten her ever since Celly's, Chryssi's and Anon's children went to give the slavers of Kludgetown a beat down after they tried to hijack and kidnap Rarity on her first trip.

Eh, I'm getting carried away now. Suffice it to say I really enjoyed the world you created.
>Celly's, Chryssi's and Anon's children went to give the slavers of Kludgetown a beat down after they tried to hijack and kidnap Rarity on her first trip.
Of course the Crown disavows any knowledge of such action. But Auntie Luna is extremely proud of her nieces and nephews.
>tfw more ponynet never
Sorc's? That ended, like, 6 years ago, man.
well if tinehchat wasn't so fuckall broken
By celestias finest ass,

Thanks for the green, and a conclusion to the story.
Nah, not Sorcs. It had Anonaius in it, iirc. He was a Black Templar, I think. Main villain was Incognito.
He often pulls bullshit to force a stalemate in the plot, or has characters do something wildly retarded in order to keep the relative status quo stable and prevent anything major from being resolved. Other than that, he's good. But that infuriates me.
>by celestia's finest ass
Does she have multiple of varying quality?
>Does she have multiple of varying quality?
No, she just has the finest ass in all the land, and Anon samples a variety of asses.
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I have a story idea.

>Anon lands in Equestria, if you replace the 'E' with an 'In'.
>Anon thinks that he's about to be screwed badly because he landed in pone version of 1984.
>But because the show is made for 8 year old girls, Industria turns out to be a really tame version of a dystopia. Sure, there isn't any trees, all the buildings have Brutalist architecture and the guards use their position to bully ponies, but overall, it's way better to be in then China or North Korea.
>Anon decides to prank the living shit out of Industria and do cartoonish rebellion stuff like drawing mustaches on Lorelei Kernav protraits and keeps asking ponies if they want the blue or red pill.
>Meanwhile, Lorelei Kernav keeps getting more and more upset has she keeps getting bamboozled by this 'anonymous.'
What was that one green where anon is resurrected every time he dies but can't remember his previous life? Celestia is there too but that's all I remember
Ankle's pastebin is lost to time damnit it is so fucking lame
Wrong thread my man. You're thinking of rgre.
Always remember to back up your favorites.
It's only apparently part one.
God her face in that poster looks so shit but her angry face looks so legit
Maybe Anon got to it and made it look bad on purpose or maybe just because Industria doesn't have any good artists for it's propaganda pieces.
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>Anon replaces the indoctrination video footage with the pony version of meatspin

I can't help but find it bizarre/amusing the way this request is written like someone trying to find Ye Olde Story they barely remember from years ago, when the green from it only started dropping like a week ago.
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>Anon super glue the ministers coffee cups, which gets stuck on their hooves.
That green pone doesn't look happy
I think he looks stern. Also that law doesn't apply to civil servants.
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>when you realize you left your carbine in the booth at Denny's
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>that law doesn't apply to civil servants.
moar liek uncivil servants, amirite guise?
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>not holding hooves
What if I hold one of her wings instead?
I just want some wacky anons in equestria, any reads ?
I don't know of any readable ones that aren't random one-shots on Fimfiction, and I don't know if I'd actually recommend any of them.
This one on /mlpol/ is surprisingly good:

green starts about 7 posts in.
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Hey guys, just wanted to let y'all know I haven't really been working on my next update. Instead, I just gave the whole story so far another editing pass, since my writing has improved a lot since I started. As you might guess, that means most of the changes were done to the first half of the story. I haven't changed anything significant, just fixed up some awkward phrasing and clarified some minor points here and there, so you don't really need to re-read it... unless you just like the story that much of course c:


In other news, Apple Hospitality just recently passed 5000 views! I can't thank y'all enough... When I started this green I thought I was just a shitty amateur with very little skill for writing. I never imagined anything close to the positive response I've received here!

I do want to apologize for updating so slowly. A bit of a blogpost here, but I've been fighting a depression for years now and was recently diagnosed with adhd, so I've been trying to write despite both of those interfering with me. Fortunately, I do genuinely enjoy it (unlike most of the other hobbies I've tried) even almost a year after I first started writing, so as slow as I am I'm still a lot more consistent than I am with my other hobbies.

Finally, here are ten of my favorite sfw Applejack pics in no particular order, on top of that adorable Bloom I attached :D

>I do want to apologize for updating so slowly. A bit of a blogpost here, but I've been fighting a depression for years now and was recently diagnosed with adhd, so I've been trying to write despite both of those interfering with me.
And here I thought back to back illness was the worst of my writefag restrictions these last two months.
Good to hear you're still plonking away at it though.
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Thanks for the heads up. I probably will go re-read the whole thing since it quickly became one of my favorite Anon X AJ stories. I'm not surprised it's pasted 5k views. I know myself and others have recommended it far and wide. It's been a worthy story so far.

No worries about your update pace. I'm glad you've found something that helps and you enjoy. At the end of the day that's what matters. Write because you enjoy it. Don't forget. There's many of us here for you too. We may be faceless pixels on your screen but we're here for ya. (That goes for any of you degenerates btw.)

Thanks for creating and sharing and I look forward to reading the next update when it's ready. And thanks for the pics. I've been looking for the 4th one yet my db search skill are quite lacking.
Fuck my sides!

Should drink some Fosters to keep up the good work
>Should drink some Fosters
Isn't Fosters like shit level beer to Aussies? Like Pabst Blue Ribbon is to us burgerlandians?
I remember him hating it which is why I think he should have some.
Who the fuck drinks fosters?
>updating so slowly
Does not matter.
Only thing what matters is not to disappear without a word and keep updating regularly (regular not equals quick, every two month is the same as every day in this regard).
So thanks for the update.
I'll drink it when I need that bigass can when making beercan chicken.
>pic related

Fosters makes its money overseas by being "the Australian beer." Mainly in the UK and USA.
I've seen it very rarely, once in an international section because up until a few years ago they stopped brewing it in Australia. Also, it's shit like most Aussie beers.
Anon goes to Equestria, finds that poni are actually rather vulgar.
Oh no
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That's a lot of pillows.
You can never have enough, especially when they come with pones.

>it's a cold winter day
>you're taking a comfy nap
>oh, it's your roommate, Purpledrank
>"You fell asleep with your head on my stomach. I'm kind of pinned here."
>"Get up. I'll get you a pillow."
"Nuh uh. Comfy."
>today the irresistible force met the immovable object
>First day back at Friendship School, you got up as soon as you woke up. Even though the sun hadn't risen yet.
>But it's winter and it's cold, you knew if you didn't get up right then you'd just keep rationalising staying in a warm bed.
>And if you did, you'd be late and someone would give you grief for it. Probably Spike cause he'd have to do your work.
>So you went to your office/supply closet via the library for some light reading and just let time waste away.
>At least until everyone else shows up.
>That was the plan and it worked quite well up until that last part. The sun rose hours ago and no one's knocked on your door looking for assistance.
>No Spike or Twilight with a list of tasks. You haven't even heard the noise of the students traversing the hall outside your office.
>Did you mess up your calender? Better take a look around before you end up looking like an idiot.
>You step out into the hall and you don't hear a damn thing. Unless Kirin history is being taught, something is up.
>Walking through the school you start checking classrooms. All empty.
>Ok, enough creeping around. "IS ANYONE IN HERE?!"
>"Anon?!" That's Starlight's voice. You barge into the councillors office.
>"Starlight where in the name of Luna is everyone?"
>"All the students are on a field trip."
>"Field Trip?" Why did no one tell you, you could have stayed in bed.
>"Yep, out on the frozen lakes. Pinkie and Fluttershy are handling ice skating. Rainbow and Applejack, ice hockey. And Twilight and Rarity are doing ice sculpting."
>"When will they be back?"
>"About an hour after lunch."
>"So it's just you and me, alone in a school all day."
>"With no students and nothing to do."
>You both sigh in unison.
>"Got any cards?"
>"Go fish."
>"Anon we're playing poker."
>"I know. I'm throwing you off. Can't bluff if you can't concentrate."
>That's not true at all, most ponies can't bluff to begin with. Really you're just amusing yourself.
>Only Maud can pull a bluff on you but you stopped playing poker with her.
>"And then I shuffle the deck, take the top one... Was this your card?"
>"Maybe I did the shuffle wrong, Trixie said it takes practice."
>"This isn't a trick deck so it's a bit harder."
>"Starlight." You hold up a card. "You forgot to ask for the card back."
>"Go fish."
>"Anon we're playing Dragonpit."
>"Definitely not, nearly everything is made from hay."
>"Cafe Hay?"
>"That's a maybe, they make good sandwiches. What about Sugarcube Corner?"
>"I'm not really in the mood for cake right now."
>"Go Fish."
>"What!? It's a new place run by a hippogryph. It is a weird name though."
imagine the smelle
Ow, my sides. Thanks famalam.
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Writing tonight I think.

But how are you doing, Anon?
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Fucking hell, lost.
>Anon arrive in Equestria
>All cute mares are bulding sized
>Need to find somepony trustworthy to settle down with
>That or live dodging the massive pilars of death that are their hooves
I finished an AiE Fluttershy clopfic oneshot. Generic plot, but hopefully well-written enought o make up for it. Enjoy!

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How many years in the making?
To be honest, I did rough outlines for all the mane 6 during season 4. But they’re a background project I just work on whenever the mood strikes between other writing.
If it wasn't like this already I'd make it that way.
"Hey, Shy, need any more help around the place?"
>The startled mare leaps out of her seat, spilling her tea over the table.
"I'll get a rag," you say before darting off.
>Fluttershy tries tell you not to worry but instead leaves it be, smiling when you return and softly smiles in thanks.
>She's been like that the whole week you've been helping her.
>Well, help isn't the right word. But a word for forcing your assistance on another doesn't come to mind, if there ever is one.
>But you need the work. Fluttershy is one of the few manual labour places where you can work till you drop.
>Sweet Apple Acres was okay, until Granny Smith got up in arms about the hours you worked.
>Up in hooves? No, that doesn't sound right. Though the image of her suddenly growing arms like a horror show centaur isn't right either.
>"I... Anon?"
>"It's not that I don't appreciate all the help, really, you've been very, um, helpful."
>Shit. Here it comes.
>"You are... No, I'm sorry," she squeaked as she hides behind her long pink fringe, "that was selfish of me."
>"Forget I said anything."
"Shy... You didn't say anything. What were you going to say?"
>"Oh, um, I don't think it's best. I shouldn't complain about that sort of thing."
>You sigh, rub tired eyes, and sit across her.
>She avoids eye contact the second you look her way.
"You don't want my help any more?"
>Fluttershy instantly goes wide-eyed. She stammers, her mouth flapping open and shut, as she struggles to speak.
"Breath," you say soothingly.
>"Yes, you're right," she replies before inhaling deeply.
>Then all of a sudden, she lets it out.
>"I have nothing to do any more."
>The following 'eep' and barely audible sorry catches you so off guard, your usual composure falters.
>And so now, you feel bad. Not that you took all the work, but that Fluttershy feels awkward asking for something to do in her own home.
"I'm sorry, Shy."
>"No, I'm the one who should be sorry."
"Really, I'm the one-"
>"I shouldn't have yelled," softly squeaks the yellow pony.
"You didn't yell, your voice was barely a murmur," you chuckle.
>Your half-baked smile faded quick as you're reminded how she still isn't sure how to talk around you.
>Not that you blame her. Apparently she still has trouble with her friends from time to time.
>You attempt a smile but the looming mood sours your attempt. Lifting the corners of your mouth is really the best you can manage. Disappointing really.
>As you inhale deeply to try and summon some energy, Fluttershy tries to speak up again.
>"I'm worried about you."
>The wind is knocked from your sails before you can even exhale.
>You blurt it out so weakly, your voice catching, that you instantly cut yourself off to recover with a smile. But that only seems to make it worse.
>You're not sure how bad your smile was but it's clear by Fluttershy's somber expression that it did more damage than good.
>"I knew it."
>Your head sinks into your hands.
>"I know we aren't particularly close," the pause is long as neither of you wishes to fill it but both know it can't go on, "you're not alone. You can talk to me."
>And a thought occurs to you.
>If anyone could not pry when asked, it's the element of kindness. You hope.
"I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay."
>"Bottling it up isn't healthy," frowns Fluttershy.
"I know, it's just," you shrug.
>Not realising it, you avoid eye contact by looking around the room.
>The cottage is the same as always. A few animals, things to care for them, and robust furniture. There's no real decoration, you note.
>No family photo, no book of interest, and nothing to suggest the kind of person... Pony who lives here.
>Aside from all the animal stuff.
>"I don't understand," Fluttershy finally states.
>You sigh deeply in some vain attempt to stall.
"I... Am... Try to deal with... This one step at a time. You know?"
>She nods but makes no hint to suggest she will carry on this conversation nor let you leave without explaining more.
"Lately, Ive been having insomnia thanks to my problem... It's hard to think... But the only thing that seems to work... Is... Work."
>At first she gives you a confused look. Very nearly almost cocking her head to one side like a dog.
>You might have cracked a smile at that if she did.
>Then something seems to connect and she nods.
"So, what, you work until you drop?"
>You give a half shrug and half nod. The gesture probably making you look more like you're hunching into yourself than anything clear but it seems to get the message across.
>"That isn't healthy either."
"I know," you groan softly so she doesn't hear then repeat it in a friendlier tone.
>Then Fluttershy seems to think for a moment. Tapping her hoof against her lip.
>In that moment, you examine her.
>Every feature of her face and visible body.
>The soft coloured coat, the wide fluttering eyes, those pursed lips, and reserved body language.
"Before you suggest it, I asked about magic. Apparently sleep spells aren't restful. And the medication here doesn't work with my biology. I got headaches and stomach pains the whole time, so I'm also a little reserved about trying some kind of cocktail of despair until it works."
>This seems to deflate the kindhearted Pegasus some which in turns makes your heart sink a touch.
>Something about shooting down her want to help hits an awkward place in you.
>"Rainbow offered to knock me the fuck out," Fluttershy being the type that she is, whinces at the swear which kicks the legs out of the joke you were trying to make.
>"Is there nothing I can do?"
>Your first thought is to tell her no. To ask her what she could possibly do. To remind her that what little options you have right now don't work, save working into exhaustion.
>But that would be disappointing. That would push away someone who so much wishes to help with eyes that stare with a purity.
>Pure what, you don't know.
>You doubt eyes can reflect pure kindness. Besides, that's just a title.
"Not that I can think of," you resolve to say, "but if I think of something, I'll tell you."
>Which is true
>You don't exactly want to be doing this. It's sounds ridiculous thinking it but working to exhaustion just to get some sleep is tiring.
>But in another kind of way.
>A tiring of the mind, of emotions, and seemingly the soul.
>Every day you feel to be a little more weary. A little more robotic.
>Obviously ponies aren't at that level of technology but you wonder if they have the concept of a robot.
>A pony made of clockwork and metal in some author's science fiction novel.
>It'd likely be powered by magic though.
>You return from your train of thought to notice Fluttershy gazing intently.
"Fluttershy?" You reply almost automatically.
>"Why can't you sleep?"
"I said I didn't--"
>"I meant, if you just lay down in bed right now, what part keeps you up?"
You shrug, "the brain? I don't know. If I had a better idea of that, I might be able to fix that part."
>"Sleep with me."
>Her tone is so serious, so firm, and uncharacteristically unwavering that you immediately need to shove out the image of intertwined interspecies bodies.
>She blushes once her mouth catches up with her brain and all she can manage is a fearful croak.
"I know you didn't mean it in that way."
>She nods however the blush grows. You give her some time and a few breaths later, she continues.
>"I mean... I'll look after you," she states with a stronger resolve than before.
>Her eyes lock with yours and refuse to look away in her usual embarassment. In fact, you're the one who breaks eye contact after feeling a rise of awkwardness.
"That's sweet of you to offer, but--"
>"Please. Let me help."
>Her small voice somehow seems to carry itself as if she shouted it. Internal voices fall silent like a crowd hushed by the leader.
>And then in the next moment you're in her room.
>It's hardly any different to the rest of the house. Plain really but you don't give it a proper look. You focus on Fluttershy as she lays down.
>Your body tenses as you slow climb in beside her.
>Then she wraps her hooves around your head and presses it against the soft coat of her chest. Or breast? You never were sure of pony anatomy. Like isn't it whithers, not shoulder? And you're not sure if it's about or muzzle. Then again, maybe it's another word altogether. Plus, because she is a Pegasus she must have unique joints and bone structures. Some bigger birds that fly have hollow bones, don't they? Would a Pegasus? What do they call the part of the wind that connects to the rest of her body?
>"Shh," Fluttershy rubs your hair and begins to hum.
>With an external sound to focus on, your thoughts take a backseat to somewhere you can't listen to them.
>"It's alright," she coos before continuing her soft humming.
>Her low voice rumbles in her throat and carries into her chest some, providing a soft tune over the top of her heart's steady rhythm.
>"I'm right here," whispers Fluttershy, "Sweet dreams."
I bet that'll be the best sleep/rest Anon's had in AGES. I know I'd love it. Thanks 8th. Is that it or will you be writing more?
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Hello AiE

Last year I did a thing where I wrote for an entire day straight. Some of it was clearing old backlog, but most of it was for suggestions. It's time to do that again. Give ideas for thing!

Due to REASONS I can't do 24 hours in a single day so I'm going to break the event into 3 days. Next week Tue-Wed-Thur from Noon to 8pm EST. As always I welcome anyone also wanting to participate.
Anon decides to impersonate a random character - could be a movie star, a dude from a movie or a game, whatever - for an entire day just for giggles. He may pretend to be a completely different character the next day. Maybe some ponies even recognize who he's pretending to be because there's an Equestrian version of that character, so those ponies keeps correcting Anon's lines when he says 'em because there is a slight difference between Equestria's version and Earth's version.
I remember that. Some good stuff came of that. Ok, let's see....
Ponyville Zoning Board moves to sanction/fine Castle Friendship™. The Tree of Harmony didn't file proper permits before growing the castle because; to quote Twilight, "Duh, IT'S A TREE!". Anon, the clerk she's ranting at tells her she's in the wrong line and to take another number for "Appeals & Waivers" window.


Once a week Anon goes to the Baltimare docks, loads a sack of imported oats on a bicycle and heads back home. Port Authority ALWAYS stops him and searches the sack of oats for any contraband. Nothing is ever found. This goes on for a few years but they never catch Anon with anything illegal despite growing suspicions that he's up to something. Eventually Anon stops going to the docks and retires to Ponyville (or where ever) living off the bits he made selling imported oats. He runs into one of the now retired Port Authority ponice at a bar/restaurant.
>"Hey, Anon! Long time no see. How ya doing?"
"Hey Sam! I'm good and you?"
>"I'm doing ok. Retired now. Doing a bit of traveling. You seem to be doing well."
"I can't complain. The import/export business has been good to me."
>That gets Sam thinking back to the days at the docks.
>"Say Anon. We all thought you were up to something back in Baltimare. It's why we stopped you so much but we never caught ya red hoof..er..handed. I figured you were smuggling something. What was it?"
>Anon eyes up Sam as if to ponder something.
>"Come on. It's been too long to do anything about now. Tell me."
>A wry grin grows on Anon's face.

eh, break times over. I'll see what else my dumb brain comes up with by the time I get home.
Anon must babysit the Cake twins.
Twilight finds out that Tirek's fireball wasn't what destroyed the Treebrary; it was Anon doing crazy experiments with chemicals in her basement again that did it.
Take the lyrics from the last song you listened to, and try to turn it into an aie green.
Here are some of my favorite prompts that I probably won't ever get around to writing myself

>Luna learns Anon worked at NASA but never went to space, decides to help him realize his dreams of space travel even if it brings her back to the place she fears

>Anon discovers the most awesome hot tub in one of the castle towers. After several days of noticing nobody ever uses it, he decides to sneak in and use it himself. After a couple weeks of indulging, he finally figures out far too late who the owner is.

>Whenever Anon is around, all the ponies look and act exactly like normal horses until he leaves. Are they afraid, is it an act of subservience towards humans, is it even something they consciously do? Either way, Anon feels like he's alone in an abandoned world full of weird, colorful horses.

>A spell cast by [a powerful unicorn or alicorn] goes wrong and she and Anon switch bodies. Now Anon has to learn magic in her body or they'll be stuck like that forever.
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>"crazy experiments"
>not cooking meth
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>Whenever Anon is around, all the ponies look and act exactly like normal horses until he leaves. Are they afraid, is it an act of subservience towards humans, is it even something they consciously do? Either way, Anon feels like he's alone in an abandoned world full of weird, colorful horses.
>Quickly bringing a shield to life, you jump back away from the trident wielding zebra while charging up your magic bolts.
>The very instant the trident's longest point makes contact with the dark purple barrier, you can feel that bizarre, quasi-emotionless zebra magic injecting into the shield, spreading through it in the blink of an eye in a veiny pattern.
>The two shorter tips send a small shockwave of more magic through the weakened shield, shattering it with alarming ease.
>More alarming was how it barely slowed his momentum.
>You're forced to weave your head to avoid the trident, but his intent quickly changed as he drops the trident and--
>Pain shoots through your head where his metal-clad foreleg impacts the side of your head, the hit far stronger than you were expecting.
>His intentions and movements change quickly once again, the zebra not wasting any time in his assault.
>With the sound of chains clinking heard, the same foreleg he used to strike with clasps the back of your head, and his head lunges forward--
>Aaaaagh, your head!
>Every sense you had for this zebra's intentions was thrown into chaos when his forehead collided squarely with yours, and the focus you had on your magic went with it as the shock of the impact travelled up your horn.
>Your right hoof shoots out to try and land a hit on his head, but at the very instant you brought the leg up, he lets go of your head and pushes you to the right slightly, throwing your aim off.
>His right foreleg, now with a chain hanging loosely from underneath the armour plates, grabs your right hoof and pins it to the ground, followed by his entire body pivoting around that spot until your bodies are side by side.
>What is he doing...?
>Just as your wings buzz to life, his free hoof comes down hard on your withers, his whole weight shifting onto--
>What the--?
>He's jumped on top of you?!
>His left foreleg slips underneath your own and pulls it upwards, and with a small burst of more bizarre zebra magic, the chain from his right foreleg retracts quickly into his armour.
>Coming with it is his trident, the chain attached to a ring on the end of it.
>As that same hoof stops pinning your hoof down, it finally occurs to you what he's doing.
>And in the next moment, he does exactly that.
>Trident now in that leg, he whips the shaft of it against your neck, his other foreleg reaching out and hooking around the other end of it.
>And then, he pulls back.
>With strength similar to Veldheer's, he tries to choke you with the trident while keeping you in a submission hold.
>Your chitin is too strong for the choking to work, but the same can't be said of the hold.
>He's pinned your left foreleg underneath the trident, and his head was pressed against the left side of your head and directly behind the foreleg he'd pinned, preventing you from striking back even if your free leg weren't busy keeping you standing.
>Some measure of your senses returns to you, and you pick up concern in his emotions.
>Well, the annoying bastard will have a lot more reason to be concerned in a minute!
>You rear up to throw him off, but as your foreleg leaves the ground, his entire weight shifts back, throwing you off balance and causing you to fall backwards.
>His hindlegs clasp around your barrel as he goes, keeping himself pressed against your back as he falls with you, landing on his back with a metallic thunk and a small plume of sand.
>Even like this, his hold remains strong no matter how much you thrash.
>This little...!
>He starts calling out to his allies in his language, aware at this point that he's unable to just strangle you.
>Ohh no, this is not how this is going to end!
>Come on, you have to break his hold somehow--
>Your horn ignites, and--
>Aaaagh, what?!
>He's biting your horn!
>He can't actually damage it, but the awful grating sensation alone disrupts the magic you'd begun to charge it with.
>How did he even think to do that?
>No, not important!
>Come on, focus!
>There's got to be some way to get out of this!
>But your magic was the only idea you had!
>Aaaaagh, this damn zebra!
>You barely know him and already you hate him!
>You won't be beaten by some bucking zebra, not until you--!
>No, you can still use magic.
>Dark magic.
>This time, you pour your anger into the magic, the familiar simmering power blooming out from your horn.
>Pain, surprise and alarm shoot through the zebra, and he immediately pulls his head away from the appendage, now wreathed in smouldering black and purple energy instead of it's usual dark purple glow.
>His intentions shift again upon realizing what you're up to, only this time you're ready for it.
>His head tries to slam against the side of your own, but you match the impact with one of your own.
>It hurts, and it disrupts your magic, but it also caused his hold on you to weaken for a brief moment.
>That was all the time you needed.
>You twist your body in place, breaking the hold his hindlegs had around your barrel and enabling you to move your entire lower body out from underneath his own, compromising his hold on your head.
>But he, as quick as his reactions are, releases his hold completely at that stage, letting you flop out of his grasp and onto your side.
>Wings buzzing and horn smouldering anew, you quickly right yourself and take flight, that damn zebra already upright by the time you'd lifted off the ground.
>He throws his trident up towards you, and though it misses by a few hooves, the chain was still attached and feeding out from his armour.
>Trying to grab you again, is he?
>The orb of dark magic you loose forces him to reconsider that move, and he leaps to the side while pulling the trident back.
>He succeeds in pulling it back, and detaches the chain from the end.
>You fire a second orb towards him, but this time he rears up and spins the trident in front of him, where it crackles with more bizarre magic.
>Somehow the trident blocked the attack, though it was also flung away in the blast.
>Just as you begin to grin at how defenceless he now is, you hear the sound of more chains and feel a lot more magic to go with it.
>Then, three tiny blades come flying at you, attached to chains that crackled with green lightning.
>Almost as if they were being controlled remotely, they wrap around your left foreleg.
>Snarling, you pull against the chains, only to be surprised a moment later when the chains pull back with more than enough force to completely counteract your flight and send you hurtling towards the zebra.
>He jumps away before you can hit him, causing you to hit the ground with a painful thump.
>Calling out again in his language, he pulls the chains once again and sends you flying, only this time he starts to spin you around in circles, kept at a healthy distance.
>As he does this, the foreleg he's chained ignites with pain as the chains become charged with more of that green lightning.
>Aaagh, this zebra and his damn chains!
>He's clearly expecting the lightning to do the work for him, and to keep you from fighting back like this!
>But you've got no intention of just letting him keep his hold on you!
>Gritting your teeth, your horn charges with regular magic, funnelled into a teleportation spell.
>With a bright flash, you teleport out of his hold a few yards away, but the momentum from your escape hadn't stopped and you wound up rolling out a few times before finally standing back upright.
>Confusion pours out from the zebra, and he spends a moment searching for where you'd disappeared to.
>Okay Athalia, don't let him get close to you anymore!
>Pouring more power into your horn, you loose a volley of magical bolts towards him.
>Just keep a distance and use your magic on him!
>Without his trident, he can't fend off your spells!
>Or at least, that was what you thought until you saw what he did next.
>A second trio of chained blades came hurtling out of his other foreleg, crackling with green lightning and aimed squarely at the incoming volley of magical bolts.
>As the blades rake across the volley, the lightning arcs towards the bolts and makes them detonate in mid-air, causing the rest to detonate in a chain reaction.
>You've got to be kidding!
>What is this damn colt weak against?!
>Sensing his intentions shift, you warp to the opposite side of him with your far less demanding portal spell, a move that proved to be good when you saw both sets of chained blades sweep towards you in a pincer attack as you filtered down into the portal.
>Weaknesses, come on!
>What can't he defend against?
>Close quarters is out of the question, he can block your magic bolts, and flying is just asking for him to get another hold on you!
>He shouldn't be able to block those!
>Sensing another shift in his movements, you once again warp away from him, this time several yards away from where he made yet another sweeping attack.
>Then, horn crackling, you loose the spell.
>The beam of lightning sweeps across where he was standing, and he has to jump above the attack to avoid it.
>You knew it!
>He bolts straight at you, his chains pulling tight as they rapidly withdrew into his armour without hindering his movements.
>A second beam is fired, this time coming down at an angle from above, forcing him to roll to the side to avoid it.
>The portal springs to life around you as you charge the third--
>Something's behind you!
>Your head turns just enough to let you see a trio of alchemists, one of them that masked one, in the middle of throwing a volley of potions at you.
>The potions have already left their hooves by the time you see them, forcing you to redirect your beam attack towards the bottles.
>The beam destroys the bottles, and their contents are splattered in burning chunks all over the ground.
>Some kind of rapidly expanding golden slime, it looks like.
>You finish sinking into your portal as the strange slime pools onto the ground, emerging opposite to the zebra leader and with a freshly charged beam attack.
>You didn't even intend to catch one of those alchemists with the beam, but hearing her scream like that was sweet music to your ears all the same.
>After leaping over the beam once again, the zebra leader quickly resumes his charge towards you, his intent now on making a slash at you with those blades.
>You can get another beam off before he can get close enough for that.
>He leaps to the side as the beam rakes along the ground before tracking up towards him.
>Wait, what's this you're feeling from him?
>He looked back for a moment towards the alchemists, worry very prominent in his emotions as he did so.
>He's worried.
>Worried about them...!
>That's it!
>That's his weakness!
>You sink into another portal, this time with a grin on your face as he slashes at you in vain.
>The grin remains as you re-emerge opposite to him again, only this time a few yards behind his remaining two alchemists.
>The masked one avoids the beam, rolling out of the way in a very similar style to the zebra leader.
>Her companion isn't so fortunate, a scream escaping her as she's blasted away by the beam, falling limp to the ground.
>Growling, the masked alchemist charges at you with renewed anger and an intent to use more throwing potions.
>The zebra leader, meanwhile, sprints his way towards both of you, borderline panic being his motivator this time around.
>Oh, so it's just this zebra he's worried about, then?
>How cute.
>The beam you fired at her hooves was short-lived, and the alchemist leapt in the air to avoid it.
>Her eyes widen underneath the mask as your smile grows bigger.
>You both know just how fatal a mistake that was.
>Mid-air, she can't manoeuvre out of the beam's path.
>She screams like all the others as the beam rakes across her, the impact sending her electrified body flying several yards away.
>The zebra leader's reaction, however, had a very unexpected intensity to it.
>He cried out like you expected, but it was the unbelievably powerful tidal wave of horror, anguish, failure, and a massive swelling of storgic love that really took you by surprise.
>It actually had you reeling!
>His focused demeanour changed to fury, and he jumps into the air with a cry, both sets of chained blades trailing behind him as he wound up for his attack.
>He's too close for another beam, so you instead sink into your portal spell, charging for the next attack.
>Just as you nearly finish emerging from the other side however, the blades come shooting through the portal, wrapping around your barrel too quickly to react against.
>In that instant, you're yanked back through the portal, and in the next moment you hit the ground with a very painful crash, strong enough to cause the sand around you to kick up in a plume.
>You don't even have time to react as you're sent flying again in an arc above him, slammed against the ground with another painful crash, this time losing the charge you'd built in your horn.
>Your horn!
>The charge barely even begins before you're sent flying again, this time with him spinning you around.
>A huge surge of zebra magic builds in his armour as he spins you around only twice, the last spin changing into another overhead slam.
>As you pass the apex of his swing, you see him in the middle of leaping into the air, balls of green lightning zooming down the chains and a look of pure anger on his face.
>You're only two-thirds charged for a teleport spell when you hit the ground, those orbs reaching you at the same time.
>In that instant, charging spells becomes the least important thing on your mind.
>Your senses fill with nothing but green lightning, dazzling in brightness and crackling at a deafening volume, all while flooding your every nerve with the stabbing agony that only lightning could deliver.
>Everything around you was drowned out; only the tight, heated chains could be felt.
>For the first time since your experience at Canterlot, you scream.
>You can't even curl in on yourself to try and stop the pain, every muscle in your body locked up and trembling, refusing to obey you.
>All you can do is scream.
>>`After all that effort we put in to help you...`
>It won't stop.
>>`You still find a way to screw it all up!`
>Make it stop!
>>`Why did this one even bother to show you all those new spells anyways, huh?`
>S-somepony, make it stop!
>>`Well, guess not even prophecy horseshit can teach an old hole new tricks after all.`
>The lightning begins to lose intensity.
>The chains around your barrel pull tighter, and you can feel yourself being flung through the air again.
>Somehow, the lightning rapidly loses it's power.
>The horrible pain stops quickly in step with the lightning, and when it stops completely, you feel the chains around your barrel being pulled off.
>Only breathing is within your power right now as your emotional senses stay blank, stars dance in your vision, and your ears ring.
>But through your deep, ragged breathing, the stars begin to fade and the ringing begins to subside.
>And the first thing you see through your damp eyes was gold.
>A translucent glowing wall of gold.
>What's going on?
>Strength slowly returns to your muscles, and you scramble back up to your hooves as soon as you can.
>As it turns out, you hadn't seen a wall at all.
>A sphere of golden magic had trapped you, and alchemists were arranged around the borders of the sphere, golden glowing symbols of some kind drawn around and interconnecting both them and the sphere, discarded bottles lying to their sides with golden liquid dribbling out of them.
>What is this?
>What did they do?!
>You kick at the sphere, and your strike bounces off as if it were made of solid rubber.
>They cannot be serious.
>You hurl a magic bolt at the barrier, and it fizzles out upon contact without even exploding.
>They cannot be serious!
>A ray of magic fizzles out just the same.
>No, no, no, NO!
>This isn't happening!
>They did not just...!
>A plume of dark flame hits the sphere next, though this time it sends a ripple through the barrier's surface.
>These zebras...!
>You've had enough of these damn zebras!
>Enough of these damn games!
>They won't...
>They won't stop you from killing Anonymous!
>You've come too far!
>They're all dead!
>If they think their stupid little cage can hold you, they've got another thing coming!
>Every single zebra keeping you here is--!
>Your head whips towards the intruding voice.
>The source, some zebra warrior, recoiled slightly after hearing the low hiss you gave.
>No, you know this one.
>It's the one with that magic axe, the one you fed off of.
>You thought you'd drained enough to cripple him for at least two days, how is he still up?
>Their stupid alchemy, probably!
>Looking around, there were no other zebras nearby except for him and the ring of five, six, seven alchemists, none of which you'd fought before and none of which were looking at you.
>Why didn't they just kill you, again?
>Idiots, the lot of them.
>Speaking of idiots, you could do with one less around you.
>You fix him a glare and walk forward a few paces, trying to scare him off.
>He holds fast with a glare of his own, the look caught between hatred, intrigue, and a tiny glimmer of fascination.
>It was at that moment that you realized you couldn't pick up on any emotions outside of this damn sphere.
>Of course you couldn't.
>It's strange how he isn't scowling, though.
>And his eyes are wandering all across you.
>Your scowl pauses as you reevaluate his look.
>Oh, come on.
>Damn it, that's why his eyes have that little glimmer to them.
>He's eyeing you up!
>Zebras, you swear...!
>He sure looks conflicted about his... observations.
>Maybe you could have a little fun with that?
>Heh, why not?
>There's plenty of chances there to make him run for his life.
>Your walk resumes, only this time with a wolfish smile and a little sway in your step.
>His pupils shrink and his ears flick, and he steps back a little to try and beat back how flustered you'd gotten him.
>What an idiot.
>You're his enemy, you fought him, you even drained his love, and he's still this interested?
>You come up to the barrier, your snout just short of pressing against it while your hoof slowly slides up and down the surface, as if reaching out to him.
>Watch, he'll fall for it if you just lid your eyes a little.
>There, he's coming closer now.
>"E-ek het nog nooit iets soos jou tevore ontmoet nie..."
>Oh, so you can hear through this thing?
>That's good to know.
"I don't understand a word you're saying to me."
>And of course he likes the sound of your voice.
>Maybe you should spare this particular idiot when you break out of here.
>He'd make a good thrall.
"You can't understand me either, can you?"
>He swallows dry, his own snout coming up just shy of the barrier, eyes glued to yours.
>Good, he's easy to lure in.
>All that's left is the scare.
"That's fine. I've gotten by just fine without knowing your language."
>His hoof makes to reach for your own, but to both your surprise and his, it phases through the barrier on his end.
>It manages to cup against yours for a brief moment before he pulls back.
>Ooh, that's very interesting!
>Okay, new idea.
>Your hoof changes from reaching straight out to curling upwards, offering it out for him.
"Hey now, don't be shy," you coo, dropping to a soft whisper. "I won't bite, I promise."
>The smile sold that delivery.
>Slowly, he reaches out again, hoof phasing through the barrier until it breaks through to the other side.
>Wow, that actually worked?
>What kind of death wish must this bucking idiot have?
>His hoof comes down on top of your own outstretched hoof, gently cupping it.
>No, stay focused.
>He can still pull back.
>Just focus on luring him in.
>Then he'll be as good as dead.
>"Hoekom doen jy dit?"
>Aww, he's asked that like he's the one calling the shots.
>Thinks he's some kind of mare magnet, does he?
>You'll enjoy breaking his mind.
>Slowly, without any sudden moves, you seat yourself in order to gently rub your other hoof on top of his.
"No questions."
>He gets really nervous when you begin pulling the hoof in, and you stop when you see his alarm.
>Wouldn't want to blow this chance, as ridiculous as it's mere existence is.
>He relaxes when you point to your chest, though you're sure the smile helped far more in that regard.
>And, continuing to defy your expectations, he actually lets you pull almost half his foreleg in with you, just so he can touch your chest.
>Now you can sense his emotions: a simmering pool of hate that was somehow synergizing with the lust he had for you.
"See? You can trust me."
>He gets more and more flustered and lust-filled as you start gently rubbing the length of his leg.
>It's not enough for you to get a solid hold on, you need to draw him in more.
"You're such an idiot," you speak with a honey sweet voice, "Wonder how long you'll last before you crack?"
>Good, he's warming to you.
>Time to start beckoning.
"Why don't you come a little closer, hmm? It's so hard to get to know somepony from behind a barrier."
>Even harder to remould their minds to exist for and serve you unconditionally.
>Never had a thrall before, so why not experiment with this clown?
>His pulse really picks up when you give your lip a little bite, and you can practically see his less than pure intentions in his eyes.
>It's going to be a lot more impure than he thinks, and for a very different reason.
>"Ek gaan jou vandag in beheer neem," he grins, convinced he's the one in charge. "Op my eie manier--"
>"Vegter!" another voice yells from behind him. "Kom weg van haar af!"
>Oh, no!
>Lunging, you grab hold of his foreleg as quickly as you can, but he's withdrawn it too quickly, your movements coming too little too late, for it to do more than make him cry out from the impacts your hoof made.
>Damn it, you almost had him!
>Aaagh, you should've just used your magic!
>Growling, your gaze sets onto the zebra who interrupted--
>Ohh damn it, it's the leader zebra!
>His trident is back, and--
>His eyes are a very light shade of red, and there were traces of moisture around them.
>What's that all about--
>"You!" he bellows your way, pushing past the idiot warrior with a furious glare.
"Yes, I'm right here."
>"Who is your accomplice, monster?"
"Oh, is this an interrogation now?"
>His hoof whips out, the chained blades loosing once again.
>They phase through the barrier unimpeded, and you're too close to avoid them.
>They wrap around your neck, and before you know it, he's slammed you against the barrier with another strong pull.
>"Who is your accomplice, monster?!"
>He looks really, really angry.
>Nothing like how composed Celestia was when she...
>Ohh, that's right.
>How could you ever forget about the ways she--
>You can't help but cry out as green lightning courses through the chains.
>And you can't help but chuckle afterwards.
>"Is this amusing to you, monster?!"
"I prefer to call it adorable."
>"Who is your accomplice?!"
>No answer, save for a sideways smirk.
>That idiot back there looks so conflicted.
>"Who is your accomplice?!"
"Is this the first time you've ever tortured somepony before?"
>His eyes darted for a split second.
>"Answer me!"
"You're supposed to torture slowly, you know. And you're always supposed to stay composed--"
"Agh! Heh, y-you just sound really, really desperate."
>"Just as I must be to protect my people!"
"And how's that worked out for you tonight?"
"Gaaah! Heheheh, d-did I hit a nerve there?"
>"Answer me, monster! Who is your accomplice?!"
"Better question. How come you couldn't kill me?"
"Aaaahahahah... Sorry, I guess I'm supposed to be intimidated here, huh?"
>"Who is your accomplice?!"
"By the way, how's that alchemist with the mask doing?"
>His breath hitches.
"That was a pretty strong spell I hit her with, you know. Most ponies just die from that."
>His eyes narrow even more.
"Aww, she must be really important to you, huh? Want me to guess how important she is?"
>"Be silent, creature!"
"All things considered, you don't look that angry about it. Guess she must still be alive, huh? Can't imagine she's doing well, though."
>His teeth begin gritting.
"I felt the love you had for her, you know. It was really sweet of you, coming to her rescue like that."
"Nnngh... D-don't worry though," you leer his way, every word coming out sugar-sweet, "I'll make sure you two are together when I consume every last emotion inside of you. You'll both get to die together. How does that sound?"
>He's lost his nerve.
"Drop the act, tough colt. We both know you don't have what it takes to break me."
>Your smile widens, your voice dropping to a whisper.
"Just like you didn't have what it took to kill me."
>Words cannot describe just how satisfying it was, seeing his fury and resolve crumble like that.
>After a few moments, the chains come off and you slump to the ground in an unceremonious heap, with a grunt to match.
>"What kind of daemon are you?"
"Daemon, huh? That's funny."
>Chuckling, you stand yourself back up with the darkest, most spiteful smile you can give.
"The idiot working for Celestia wants to call somepony else a daemon."
>His struggle to stay quiet and restrained was so cute to see.
"You know, none of this would have happened if you'd just told me where Anonymous is."
>"You do all of this, just for his life?"
"That's right. Do you know how long I've waited to kill that slimy little bastard? How long I've dreamed about what I'll do to him when he's finally at my mercy?"
>You can still feel the picture frame, tucked away under your back chitin.
>"You'll do nothing of the sort now, creature. This barrier--"
"Won't stop me. It's just a matter of time before it breaks."
>Ooh, but there's no reason they have to be around to... complicate things when it does break, now do they?
>Aaaaah, now you know who these two are!
>The two Veldheer asked you to leave to him!
>Maybe you should let him indulge a little, just this once...
"Ahh, I'm sorry. I haven't even introduced myself yet! My name is Athalia."
>The warrior zebra mouths the name to himself, while the leader just continues glowering.
"And let me guess, you must be Heerser? And him, Vegter?"
>"What of it, creature?"
"Oh, nothing. See, he was just really, really excited about getting the chance to fight you two."
>Oh, he's looking uneasy now.
>He's got to have guessed by now.
"I doubt that idiot there could do very much, but I guess you could probably give Veldheer a tough time."
>Heheheh, there it is.
>Even the colt behind him froze at the name Veldheer, first out of fear, then out of anger.
>This Heerser, on the other hoof, wore a much graver look after hearing the name.
>"Vicious Veldheer? He is--?!"
"Here?" you smile, sweet as can be. "You're the smart one. What do you think?"
>You've got a good idea of what he thinks.
>The leader yells something to the warrior, who nods and runs off.
>"Where is he, monster?"
"Say please first."
>"Do not play games with me, monster!"
"Or what? You'll try and break me again? Don't make me laugh."
>"Have you any conception of what is at stake here?!"
"I'd hardly consider your precious zebras a high stake."
>Ooh, that one really struck a nerve.
>The warrior zebra called out from behind him, stopping whatever response he had to give.
>That unicorn is with him.
>That unicorn...
>"Agent of Celestia," he says, turning towards that unicorn. "We must stop the other attacker at once! Tell us where he is!"
>"Do you know his identity?"
>"Yes, now quickly!"
>His horn lights up for a few moments.
>"The attacker is in that direction," he says, pointing off in the distance.
>"Very good. Stay here and ensure she is contained! We will return when we are able!"
>Both the leader and that idiot share a nod before they dash off in Veldheer's direction.
>He can handle them, no problem.
>But for the moment, your eyes drift back to that unicorn.
"So you're going to keep me here, huh? What stopped him from killing me before, huh? Didn't have his trident? Ran out of those useless golems?"
>No response but a stoic look.
"That's fine. Doesn't matter now anyways. We'll have lots of time to catch up after he interrupted us."
>You start pacing back and forth, horn aglow with dark magic.
>Oh, you've still got plenty of this magic to spare for this.
"You know you can't hold me. Sooner or later, this little bubble is going to fail."
>A plume of dark flame jets up, causing the barrier to begin rippling at the point of impact.
>Some of the alchemists in the circle grunted in response.
"And when it does, you're all going to die. Well, not you. You'll die slowly," you hiss, your hoof dragging up and down the barrier's surface. "Very, very slowly."
>A beam of dark magic fires upwards, and all of the zebras grunt, save for one who cried out.
"Oh, I haven't forgotten about what you did to me at Canterlot. Just like I haven't forgotten about your precious little charge. He's going to die too, you know. You, him, the other pony you brought, and every zebra here."
>The shield starts to deform, right as the beam loses power.
"And there's nothing."
"You can do."
"To stop me."
>His eyes dart for the briefest of moments.
>Half the alchemists cry out in pain.
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Hey there readership, you know what goes great with that sickness I talked about last update? More sickness! Worse sickness! The seasonal kind you need pain meds to suffer through! And, incidentally, the kind that kept me from writing for even longer. Not even side project writing progressed under it's yoke!
Now though, we're back in the biz. I'd meant for this part to be shorter, but God damn did one just come flowing out, and hell if I'm going to stop a good thing because of it's length. Read into that however you please.
Speaking of length, this is the first part I've written that officially runs over the 500k free limit on Pastebin, and it'll probably run about 20-30k longer before we jump to part 7. But you don't get a part 7 today, just more of part 6, linked as usual right over here: https://pastebin.com/D8zmMPD4
Not a single captcha challenge this whole update, either. What kind of sign is this?
>A green horned horse approaches you
>Every horse around stop grazing and look at her
>You re sitting on one of the park benches
>Which is perfect for her to lay her head on your leg
>And to top it off its exactly what she does
>You just stand there unmoving, since you dont dare pet them since the last time
>That white horned horse looked like it was out for blood after you touched her mane
>Her neights still haunt you to this day
>But this one is just...there, as if its asking for it
>With shaky hands you approach her, and you swear her eye shines in anticipation
>But before you actually touch her you hear a grunt right by your ear
>A beige horse is standing on top of the bench by your side
>You know these ones are stronger than the winged or horned ones
>And she could be very dangerous this up close
>So you retreat your hands back, slowly bringing them to your side
>You could swear that the green mare was about to cry, but those golden orbs had no power against securing your life from danger
>Thankfully it worked too, as the horse that was by your side jumped down
>Immediatelly she head bumped the green mare on her sides, grunting and pushing her away
>Without much of a choice she complied and went with het
>Seeing them do things like this, you could almost think they were actually intelligent
>Looking around, you see what could very well be a commotion on Earth, with a bunch of horses standing still while looking at you or the leaving mare
>But as they see you stare at them they go back to grazing or doing whatever they were doing before
>Pff, yea, imagine that
>You re not that crazy yet...
I might do more. I dunno. Didn't really have a plan for this, was just writing it as I was imagining it.
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>>You could swear that the green mare was about to cry,
>Lyra going depressive from having her dream right in front of her but she can't have it because everyone else agreed on a stupid shenanigan.
You better write a happy ending for that mare, Anon.
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>anon starts creating and distributing atheist propaganda
>gets dungeon'd by the princesses
>some ponies actually start following his ideals and his imprisonment only grows the equestrian fedora consortium
>religious civil war ensues
The third one is honestly really terrifying to me, it's like a nightmare where something is obviously wrong but nobody else seems to notice
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>Attempting to spread atheist propaganda
>In a world where the rulers are all-powerful goddesses
Good luck with that.
Slotted. I may combine a few of them for funsies.

This one I'm torn on since the random element is kind of lost when in advance. Suppose I'll put on a random playlist and see what it ends on at the end of the day.

Glad you remembered. It was indeed a wild ride.
Athalia is a bitch. On the other hand, at least I understand why she's a bitch. Celestia is still just horrible for the sake of Teh Evilz as far as I can tell.
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>>In a world where the rulers are all-powerful goddesses
Athalia, Veldheer & 'Nito need to die. the Gryphon 'might' get mercy because they're just being mislead but the other three are just evil and need to be wiped off the face of Equus. I don't go the 'kill 'em all' route normally as I'm the rose tinted glasses Anon but yeah, the need to be put in the ground.

Good update as always, HK! I'm glad you're feeling better. I look forward to reading the next update.
Eh, bughoers was just feeling the LOVE that day
Canon powerlevels are pretty disappointing honestly.
That's why i ignore them
>almost, you almost touched him.
>fucking bonbon.
>she pulled you behind a building.
>"what were you thinking!? He almost touched you!"
>you know she means well but she'll never understand.
>one way or another, that human is touching you.
Athalia's arc will be incomplete if she just dies in an off-hand way. She might need to, narratively, but she might also be pulled away from the abyss. Who knows? Anon's still got his magnets (how do they work?); rip out all magic, and the tattered edge of the soul will be the last thing hanging on.
>Anon's still got his magnets (how do they work?)

tfw you realize Anon has been a juggalo all this time
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fuck now I can't find the picture
What happens if multiple anons arrive in Equestria?
Would they bound together? Fight?
The dominant one gets the body. The rest are relegated to edgy tulpas that never shut up.
>Anon must babysit the Cake twins.
Can't wait to see what the challenger writes
Bros in Equestria covered that.
While I liked BiE, that was fucking ages ago and I can't think of a single story that did it since. It's a pretty broad prompt so there's lots you can do with it.
I've been lurking this thread for years, super rarely posting.
Just thought I'd mention that I've gotten a lot of enjoyment out of this specific general.
Interaction is fun and appreciated but I'm just glad to entertain some people, even if you only lurk :)
>What happens if multiple anons arrive in Equestria?


Is there a pastebin link?
There is such a story close to that idea
Y-You too
I know evryone loves it when people do this, but:

I've been gone from the board for a year, what are some good new storys that have croped up in the last year? Spoonfeed me.
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Not again. Tell me someone has a copy somewhere?
It's fine, it was just typo'd. Change the /U/ to /u/.
Nothing will keep my autism off the internet.
mondrod pls

No you pls, ONE of you thought it was a good idea to give me Pastebin Pro so now my posts won't be auto deleted.
You have no one to blame but yourselves.
To be slightly serious for the briefest of moments, do you ever hear from any of the other writers and suchlike content producers who used to frequent this place? Wuten, Bolding, or any of the others?

I miss those guys.
Bolding dropped off the face of the earth years ago, I wasn't there for that.
I can tell you that anyone who no longer stops by has a good reason for doing so, generally in the form of having to grow up and get big people jobs that demand more of their attention.
RIP in Piss.
I can understand that.

At the same time, this place--mausoleum though it is--has been an anchor for me through years of sixty-hour weeks at jobs I hated, because I have no one and nothing else in my life but this.

I want to write but I can't even focus, I just have half-formed story ideas in my head. I wish I could write. I wish I had time for it. I wish I had enough focus and will for it.

But instead I come in from work, microwave some leftovers, check email, and go to bed, so I can do it all again tomorrow.

But here. Have a silly horse picture. Maybe someone can write a greentext about a poni whose ears were cold.
You and me both. The happiest and most productive time in my life was the times when I was a worthless NEET.
Don't be afraid to take some time off if you gotta fix things, lord knows there are times at my job where I want to bash customers brains in.
Is this new or a continuation?
More Spoonlicker when
>I want to write but I can't even focus, I just have half-formed story ideas in my head.
I have ideas but they're sci-fi or fantasy or dark where i don't feel they suit pony but have no other platform to write on
To be honest this>>33505561, she's just there to be worfed by lazy writers now. Besides, she is powerful seeing as her and 3 other alicorns together are enough to face all of Equestria's magic combined (Tirek vs Twilight) but it will never be touched on because then they'd have to actually write a reason why a villain is really dangerous without having the princesses be defeated.
>she's just there to be worfed by lazy writers now.
ding ding ding.

At first it said in canon that Sunbutt was capable of magical tasks on her own that previously required dozens or hundreds of the world's most powerful unicorns working together, including but not limited to raising and lowering the sun and moon.

She ruled Equestria and kept her society intact, un-invaded, un-destroyed, in a death-world full of magical monsters and supervillains, for more than a thousand years.

Then suddenly Twilight Sue-parkle appears, and Sunbutt suddenly gets relegated to sidekick and occasional damsel-in-distress, humiliated again and again by a conga line of villains you'd think she'd have been able to vaporize before they got three words into their villain soliloquies. (watch G1. It's how Queen Majesty handled thing) All this to show how awesome Twilight Sue-parkle is.

I have said it before. Back in the early 1960s, the hack writers Stan Lee paid one and a half cents per word to write comic book scripts had a better grasp than this on storytelling in a world with heroes of varying powerlevels. Spiderman and Daredevil are great guys, but they're not the ones you bring in when Galactus comes calling--that's a job for the Fantastic Four, and you can have stories about Peter Parker being a hero and saving the day without turning Reed Richards into his boy sidekick who has to be rescued over and over. Sunbutt is the setting's One Punch Man and it feels cheap for her to job to villains that should last just long enough to gain her attention.
>lazy writers
It's not necessarily that they're lazy, even. They hardly coordinate with each other, never meet up in person to plan, and all have different ideas for where the show should go (i.e. the opposite of when Faust was in charge). Not to mention that what they write gets micromanaged by executives that only care about toy sales. It's all more to do with incompetent management than anything.
So basically they don't want to coordinate with each other to create a good story. That's like doing a group project and everyone in the group doing their own thing- wait, it's not just like that, it IS that. These fuckers are too lazy to actually do their job properly to create a actual good story. Instead they'll use the "It's for children!" excuse for a poor job. Could you imagine if you were hired to build a playground, then when stuff starts breaking you use the excuse of "It's for children!"? You'd get no pay, and probably fired. Hasbro should have had heads rolling when they heard them talking that way as a excuse to poor writing, a good show sells toys, a poor one doesn't. It's not a surprise the show is being ended, especially with the MASSIVE drop in viewers after S5.
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It's mostly a problem of the shorunner. A poor captain crashes the boat.
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It doesn't matter go- fellow anon.
Just be sure to buy the G5 merchandise!
Okay, I need suggestions for a two anon story.
What should the second Anon's name be? I don't want to do "Anon" & "Mous" as that was done by Mandroid so I need other ones.
Anonymous and incognito is the classic.
—No Name

Honestly, just pick a long word to look smart.
So like Pseudonymous or Whatchamacallit?
I was thinking more like the name "Guy" It's pretty good, too.
Or you could just use a word for nobody in another language
Nemo (Latin)
Nul (French)
Keiner/Niemand (German)
Ingen (Norwegian)
Nikt/Zaden (Polish)
How about 'Nym'?
Anonymous = English.
Anonym = Swedish.
Nym = part of the Swedish word for Anonymous.
Anonymous and OP. Both are massive faggots.
John, as in John Doe.
And there we come to the bitter bit; the show *used* to have that glue, a ramrod for the logic and consistency to the world. Then Hasbro drummed her out so they could change a librarian to a princess to sell a new batch of toys.
I ain't watching that shit, fucking concept art alone say it'll look like trash. Then Nigger Jack can go fuck herself.
Needs an animated gif version of that image with greedy hand-rubbing action.
>Okay, I need suggestions for a two anon story.
I suggest you reconsider.

I'm not trying to be an asshole here, but Anon is a blank slate, a self-insert for the reader. Multiple Anons just confuse things, especially when you try to distinguish them with clever names.

If your story really needs multiple protagonists, give them actual names and write them third-person. There. Problem solved. Problem staying solved.
I got no idea what you're talking about, it wasn't confusing for BiE.
Besides, plenty of Anons aren't blank slate self inserts either.

Write the fucking story.
ur a cheeky count m8
>yfw you realize that >>33514768 is Count Chocula
As a Writefag I'd say just start writing, the details tend to fill themselves in as you go. Flash of inspiration and all that shit.
Here is what I've got so far for a two anon story.

>A light fog coils around your feet as the sun lazily warms your back. It feels soothing against the cold nip in the morning air as you unlock the door to your shop.
>Looking over your shoulder you notice a small mare with a white coat and purple mane standing there panting.
>"The Princess has an urgent summons for you."
>Your stomach drops like an anvil because this has never happened before. Sure, you've been up to the castle on invitation but never anything urgent.
"Like a drop everything and come now kind or urgent?" The mare nods, "What's wrong?"
>"I don't know, I was sent to find you right away. Follow me."
>Before you can say anything else, the mare starts to run off toward the castle so with an unsteady step you follow.
>You're led through a small maze until you arrive just outside the throne room where both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stand. And Twilight.
"Your highnesses, and Twilight," who glares at you while you try to catch your breath, "What's happened?"
>The three exchange cautious glances then Princess Celestia clears her throat.
>"Princess Twilight," she says pointedly, "Has found a second... Anonymous."
>The statement runs through your head a few times as you try to understand it but it just doesn't go.
"A second Anonymous? What? How can there be two of me?"
>"Uh, well, he's not you. You see, we just call any new specimen 'anonymous' until we can learn more about it. It's a science thing," Twilight adds in that haughty 'I know more than you' tone of voice.
"Was that seriously where my nickname came from? Twilight... That is the stupidest science thing I have ever heard of."
>Her glare returns with a greater intensity that it startles you for a second.
>"It's another human," Luna finally explains.
>Your first thought is a woman but then, it has been so long you can't accurately remember what they look like.
>Sure, when it gets to be so long you knew you'd forget individual faces but forgetting an entire gender still messes with you.
>The best you're able to picture now is a version of you with long hair and man-boobs.
>Which raised a different set of problems.
>Then you think of Rarity and begin to feel bad.
>And then, you realise you're probably going to have to explain why you're fucking a horse now.
>You hope this new human is understanding. Maybe you could explain it away as one of those stranded island cases.
>Like, "Hey, give me a break. You saw Castaway right? Tom Hanks would have been prepared to fuck a rock with a hole in it after that long."
>It needs work.
>Your stomach twists and turns in knots to the extent that you feel like you need to throw up.
>Shit, and you're going to have to deal with getting them to adjust. You can't even remember how long it took you to get used to everything.
>"Anonymous?" Celestia says in a way that suggests she was repeating herself.
"Sorry. I, uh... was thinking. How are they doing?"
>"Shaken a little. I've been helping him adjust as best I can." replies Twilight.
>"Anonymous, he came out of the Everfree too."
>You nod. It's all you're able to manage right now.
>Then you recall hearing him and swear a few times in your head.
"Well, can I meet him?"
>They all nod and step aside for you to walk in.
>Your hand pauses over the door, hesitating.
>Twilight steps beside you and gives a warm smile, "He seems nice."
>You feel a little comforted and for once are glad for the purple menace to be around but at the same time don't want her to feel like you're on the path of friendship with her and so, you poke your tongue at her.
>This makes you laugh which goes a little way to easing the tension and also makes Twilight pout. Which also helps.
"Okay," you say to yourself and push.
>The doors swing open and there stands, a little awkwardly looking around, another human.
>Just like you. Though a little chubbier, younger, his clothes are plain, and paler skin. But just like you. Human.
>There's a flutter of butterflies in the pit of your stomach as he turns around to face you.
"Holy shit, there really is another human."
"Yeah... I'm--"
>You're cut off by him wrapping you up in a great bear hug.
>Part of you already disliking him but at the same time enjoying the physical touch of another human.
>How many years has it actually been? The number escapes you.
>"Anonymous, meet Anonymous," Twilight interrupts.
"Anonymous," the other chuckles, clearly confused.
"It's a stupid thing they do. They call something they don't know, Anonymous, until they know more about it." you tell him, just regurgitating the face you only just found out a moment ago.
"So, there's really no other humans but us?"
>You nod.
"And I've been here for a... Long time too."
>He nods grimly, sympathy written clearly on his face that feels almost like a comfort.
"I can't imagine. I mean, I'm barely adjusting right now," he laughs nervously, "Everything is so strange here."
"You get used to it. In a 'everything is strange' kind of way."
"Guess you kind of have to," he smiles, the uncomfortable laugh escaping once again.
>"So, we need to sort out this Anonymous thing. We can't just call you both Anonymous."
"You've been calling him Anonymous?"
>"For science," the purple turd nods.
>You roll your eyes.
"I thought it was just going to stick as a nickname, but I guess not anymore."
>He seems a little deflated at this.
"We could just use your name."
"Of course. I just... New world, new identity kind of had me excited you know? I wanted to be like Marty McFly telling everyone I was Clint Eastwood."
>You stare at him, puzzled.
>He looks at you, shocked.
"You've never seen Back to the Future? It's a classic!"
"I have been here for a long time."
>Then he seems to notice the grey in your beard and hair for the first time.
>You just nod at him as he seems to finally understand.
"Wow. I really can't imagine what that's like."
>All you manage is a shrug. Which kind of annoys you as it seems so dismissive.
"It's just my life now, you know?"
>"Anyway," interrupts Twilight, "We need to work out what to call the new Anonymous."
"Well, it's not Clint Eastwood. You look nothing alike."
>He laughs heartily.
"Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2," you add so Twilight can't add whatever dumbass suggestion she's got.
"I really don't want to be doing Bananas in Pyjamas bits."
>"Bananas in Pajamas?" you ask in unison with Celestia and Luna.
>It startles you a bit as you actually forgot they were even in the room.
"Oh, right. I guess I'll have to watch those kind of references if I don't want to be explaining myself till the end of time."
>You chuckle a little. It's interesting to see him have his own little difficulty that you never did. Though, something like not talking about whatever tv show or video game this kid likes is a rather small one.
>"We could always use a word like Anonymous?"
"Or, his name?" You repeat.
"Nah, i want a nickname," the new guy beams."
>"Incognito," suggests Twilight with a tone of finality.
"I like it," he replies.
"What, you don't?"
"Well, Anonymous always sounds odd but Anon works. Not really the case with Incognito. Incog? Cog? They sound just as odd. Plus--"
>"Incognito works great, thank you very much."
>You open your mouth to start shit with the purple nurple but Celestia steps in.
>"If Incognito likes that as his nickname, then that's what we'll go with."
>You roll your eyes but don't push it any further.
>Besides, Celestia is giving you that look that says you need to get along with Twilight. While that would normally be too complex a meaning to decipher from someone's face, you've seen it enough times to recognise it immediately.
>"We thought it best that he would stay with you," Luna finally adds to the conversation.
>"You're the only human. It would probably be easier for him to adjust to things if he were near someone of his own kind."
>While they make a good point, you feel uncomfortable letting some stranger you just met into your house.
>"After all, Rarity will be visiting you in a few days. Saves her going back and forth."
"Who is Rarity?"
>You glare at her who gives her own poke of the tongue before Celestia steps in to give a stern look in Twilight's direction.
"She's the one who makes my clothes."
>There's a pause as the ponies seem to wait for you to continue the explanation but Incognito doesn't notice.
>"So, him staying with you is alright?" Luna asks.
>You hesitate. Something Incognito does pick up on.
"I mean... If you don't want to, I should be able to find some place."
"No. No, it's fine. I have a spare room after all," you resign.
>Incognito seems to brighten up before he gives you a hefty whack on the back.
"I'm looking forward to it buddy."


"Oh, wow. You live on top of a cafe?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. It's more of a tea shop most days." Your reply is a little stilted, disjointed after the entire walk over was spent in silence.
>Incognito, Incog, Cog, he seemed to just be taking things in at the moment. Almost looking overwhelmed a few times.
>You feel a responsibility to check in on him but at the same time are at a bit of a loss for what to say.
>Nothing really comes to mind when you try to think about what might have helped you when you first arrived. Everything is just so foreign by comparison after all.
"Is it any good?"
You shrug, "It might be a small place but I get quite a few customers, mostly regulars."
"Wait, it's yours?"
>You simply nod as Incognito stares blankly at the place.
"The Crow's Laugh? Kind of a hipstery name, don't you think?"
"I didn't name it."
"Huh... Who did then?"
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"There's a whole story there. Maybe I'll get into it another time."
>As you look over your shoulder, you notice him looking a little dejected.
>You let out a sigh then are about to say something when you notice something in the corner of your eye.
"Moon Dancer?" You ask as the mare pokes her head out.
>"I was wonder what took you so long," she replies then notices Incognito with a wide-eyed shocked, "There's two of you."
"This is... Incognito. Incognito, this is Moon Dancer."
"Her Royal Highness Twilight's idea."
>Moon Dancer nods, catching on to quite a lot with such a small statement.
"She works for me here and spends pretty much every bit I give her on books," You tell Incognito to try and bring him into the conversation.
>He waves and Moon Dancer waves back, still somewhat in a daze.
>You unlock the door and let the two in before following after.
>The Crow's Laugh is a cosy shop. Wooden flooring and furnishings, leather seating, and warm yet dim lighting reminds you more of a classic Irish Pub at times.
>At first it was like there was a bit of home with you and it worked for marketing quite well too.
>The ponies figured this was what all cafes back on Earth were like and you weren't about to correct that.
"Celestia used that term too, bit?"
"The currency here. Which reminds me, are the princesses giving you an allowance or something?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just making sure, they gave me one when I first got here. Look, Moon Dancer. I'm probably going to close up after lunch I think but because it's short notice I'll give you a day's wage."
>"You're the best Anon."
"Don't you forget the next time I ask you stay back for a little bit."
>"I won't. I won't."
>You know she will but you don't push it. Moon Dancer is easy going enough when it comes to all the workers you've had.
"If you want, I could help out?"
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"I don't really need an extra set of hands. This is a small shop after all, but I guess. You know how to make tea or coffee?"
"Not professionally."
"Can you cook?"
"Heh, wasn't much of a chef back home. Instant food stuff, you know?"
>"Me too," chuckles Moon Dancer.
"You're on dishes then," you sigh.


>The day goes by... Not as badly as you thought.
>Moon Dancer and Incognito spent half the day talking. Mainly about their own pop culture from what little you heard.
>It was good that Incog seemed to be making fast friends so you decided to let it slide today.
>Ponies that noticed it were naturally very curious, so you answered a few of the same questions to everyone before shuffling to the next customer.
>"Is it really another human, like you?"
>"What's he like?"
>"How did he get here?"
>"I bet you're excited to have another of your kind around, right?"
>"So, what's his name?"
>With the news spread around town like a disease, the lunch hour rush was one of the biggest rushes you've had since your first few days here.
"Wow. A lot of ponies wanted to know about me."
>You take a seat opposite Incognito and had him a sandwich. He thanks you before taking a bite.
"Oh, there's no peanuts in here, is there?"
>You look up in shock as you realise where this is headed.
"No. You allergic?"
>He nods before taking another bite.
"Don't you think that's the kind of thing you should mention before chowing down."
"Slipped my mind. It's been a day after all."
>You give him that much.
"Anything else I should know?"
"Nah. No other allergies and I'm not picky about food."
>You nod then the two of you eat quietly for a little while.
"That's just Canterlot, by the way." Incognito looks at you in confusion so you add, "The attention. You're the new interesting thing going on. It'll die down some in a bit."
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"Shame. I've never been the centre of that much attention."
"I'm sure if you play your cards right, you could keep it going. You know, interesting fact about yourself or humanity here, captivating story every so often."
"Look at me, I'm hardly the type that's lead an interesting life so far."
>The two of you share a light-hearted chuckle before going silent, the self-deprecating joke sounding a little too sincere to be anything but awkward.
>It carries on for a little while before Incognito speaks up.
"So, what has it been like for you?"
>You look up with a curious expression, unsure of what answer he's looking for.
"Being here. No humans. Nothing but ponies."
"Ah, well, it took a lot to adjust to. If I'm being honest, I thought I was insane the first day."
"Yeah, I didn't say much to any one at first. But I came around."
"What was the hardest change you had to get used to?"
>You lean back and exhale deeply.
>While part of you does want to go into the actual difficulties you went through, some of them feel personal and the conversation sounds a little light-hearted so far.
"Nicotine withdrawl."
"They don't have them here?"
"Actually they do. I just didn't know that, at least, not until I'd basically quit."
"That's gotta suck," Incognito laughs mid-chew.
>You do your best to ignore it and push the photographic memory of half chewed food flying about.
"But, seriously."
>Again you let out a sigh as you decide to let it out.
>Incog is hardly someone you're close to so it's not as if his disapproval will do anything and part of you already feels like you're trying to hide the fact. Which leads you down an emotional complex filled with guilt.
"Okay, so, I've been here for a long, long time."
>Incog nods.
"I mean long."
>He nods again as he chews.
"I'd made a few friends and all but naturally, I was still pretty lonely. No other humans about and to make things worse, I couldn't remember what a girl looked like."
>Incog chokes on his food. He instantly begins to cough and splutter, his face turning a shade of pink as you dart off and return with a glass of water.
"Woah. Sorry, I just. Was not ready for that... Are you serious?"
"Yeah. I mean, I remember the general idea--shape of women but a face? Couldn't picture one. The body proportions were never quite right in my head. It was like a blurry image."
>Incog leans back. His mind completely beyond repair for a time.
"I can't even process that. Shit, that will probably be me after a while."
"Never know," you try to say diplomatically, knowing full well that it likely will.
"Then how were you... You know. Handling things?"
>Incog's face is a little uncomfortable asking but it's clear curiosity blazed ahead of his brain or mouth in asking that one.
"I, Uh."
>You open your mouth a few times to try and speak but your voice catches each time.
>Then slowly, Incog's eyes widen in understanding.
"WHAT?! You've fucked some of the ponies, haven't you?"
"SH! Would you?" you shush him in a harsh whisper, "Seriously? Do you have to ask it like that?"
"You have, haven't you."
>You nod.
>Part of you feels a little cowardly for being unable to vocally admit it but there is something about having to admit to another member of your species that you fucked a horse that's really uncomfortable.
>Even if you barely know the other human.
>But Incog doesn't really look that disgusted.
>In fact, he is sporting a massive grin that looks about to tear his jaw off the hinges as he looks at you with a... Look of pride?
"Shit. This is amazing. You know, when I first got here, the first thing I thought was that I'd like to try and fuck one of those horses."

>basic bitch cafe
>not opening an earth cuisine resturant
This anon is missing a perfect oppertunity, lord knows if i end up innaquestria i'm opening a yiros shop
Which ponies get turned into gyros to be eaten by the other ponies, then?
More Moonie when?
>"What you got there Twilight?"
>"Oh just some genealogy stuff. It's just a research hobby, sometimes I try to find out for certain if Pinkie and Applejack are actually related."
>"Fair enough."
>Twilight looks up at you with a curious expression.
>"Anon, do you have any family history?"
>"Sort of. I periodically reincarnate, so it's me but also kind of not. Let me show you."
>You pull out a small photo album from the hammerspace that is your back pocket. Thanks for that one Pinkie.
>Twilight sits so close, she's practically in your lap. But that's what happens when you show her new books.
>"Here's me before Equestria was founded. Or my 'a lot of greats', grandfather."
>You show her a picture of carving of a Conan-esque barbarian green man.
>Flipping forward a few pages to an Anon in Roman armor.
>"This one was just before the founding of Equestria. Pretty sure the Pegasi stole my armor designs."
>The next is a piece of tapestry depicting a knightly Anon.
>"This was the one after that."
>You flip to the back page, a sepia photo of The Man with No Name Or Face. A banana in his holster.
>"And this was the previous time."
>Closing the book you stand to leave. A hoof grabs your arm.
>"Wait! We didn't see the other photos."
>"I'll come by this evening Twilight. Got some shopping to do right now. I'm all out of bananas."

I'll have something more substantial to post tomorrow.
I'm sure i could find a hookup to import Lamb
>"I said 'doner kebab,' not 'poner kebab!'"
>it was a nutritious day
It's a good start. I like 'Nito as in NEET-o for Incognito's nickname. Assuming we has a neet back on earth. I fear Rarity might take it wrong that Anon didn't say he is seeing her. He really should have said that right away.

I'm interested in seeing where the story goes. I look forward to reading more.
Also interesting.
>Spike's reading a comic, Twilight is reading who knows what. And you've got a new book for yourself to read.
>Another evening in Twilight's giant ass library, sometimes it's nice to have some restful peace and quiet.
>Spike apparently finished with his comic looks up at you. "What you reading Anon?"
>"It's my Hearth's Warming present from Luna, she gave me a book of all the letters I wrote to Celestia."
>"You wrote letters to Princess Celestia?" Twilight has dropped her own book and is now uncomfortably close to your face.
>"Yeah one every week or every other week. She really likes letters for some reason."
>You just about catch Spike quietly muttering "Tell me about it."
>"Here I'll read the first one."

>Dear Princess Celestia,

>It's been two months since you demanded I write to you about my experiences in Ponyville. You could have waited a bit longer before sending a reminder about it.
>I have to actually experience Equestria first before I can write about it. I suppose I should start with the ponies.

>They were a bit odd at first. They were skittish and afraid, then they were friendly. Very friendly, especially Pinkie Pie one of the local bakers.
>From the way they treat me, you'd think I'd lived here for years. I find it all very strange, that's not to say it's bad or anything.
>It's great to be made to feel welcome. But it just feels a little unexpected. Like I should be here longer before I have this many friends. I haven't even finished furnishing my house yet.
>I suppose I shouldn't be caught so off-guard by it, you did send Twilight here to study friendship after all. It stands to reason the place would be extra friendly.
>Generally the ponies are relentlessly cheery and helpful. Very open with their emotions.
>And yes I've made friends with some of them, Celestia. Thank you for asking several times.
>I've noticed cows around the town too. I've seen some working, some hauling carts, some doing shopping.
>They seem friendly enough with the locals but I've no idea where they live. And then there was that stampede incident.
>I'm assuming they have a camp not far from Ponyville, Twilight told me about the nomadic buffalo. But I keep seeing the same cows.
>Maybe they don't roam around as much as buffalo do. I've been meaning to ask but there's never any cows around when I have the questions on my mind.
>I'll find out where they live eventually. It's probably not much of mystery though and the answer probably isn't very exciting
>Another mystery is the local farmers keeping pigs. I still haven't worked out why. They're clearly not pets like a dog or an owl would be.
>And they're not used for work on the farms, at least as far as I know. And they don't produce anything like the chickens do.
>So far I've failed to work it out for myself. I'd normally just ask but I have the sneaking suspicion the answer is obvious.
>Obvious to ponies at least, they kind of obvious that would make them think I was a complete smeghead if I asked.
>I've taken an interest in the Everfree too. I'd like to explore it and it seems like a good place for a camping adventure.
>Though I have been warned against. Between Granny Smith's tales and Fluttershy listing off the inhabitants, they paint a pretty grim picture.
>Timber wolves, hydra, the stone chicken things. But on the other side of things, Zecora lives in there just fine.
>Maybe it's just a case of working out the safe parts from the dangerous parts.
>Also on the note of furnishing my house. Despite being your height, twice the height of most ponies. I've not had much trouble with scaling. Doors, windows, ceilings.
>They all just about fit me. Or at least are close enough that they don't cause me any inconvenience. It's a rather nice coincidence.
>That the pony idea of standard sizes for buildings, tools and everything else is just big enough to suit me. That said it's not completely perfect.
>Tables and chairs have proven to be a bit of an issue. I have to sit on the ground to use most tables properly. Chairs are a lost cause though.
>Chairs. Sofas. Any sort of seat really. Either they're just not big enough to accommodate my frame or are so low to the ground I may as well just grab a cushion and sit on the floor.
>By the way who made your throne? I may have to speak to them in order to get some things made in my size.

>The friendly neighborhood human, Anonymous.

>P.S. Yes, smeghead is a human expression.
>P.P.S. No, I will not translate it.

>"This is amazing! The perspective of a new-" Twilight begins pacing around the library ranting excitedly, you quickly lose track of what she's actually talking about.
>It's kind of like Pinkie when she's excited, maybe not quite as fast but it can be just as hard to follow.
>"So you didn't know what pigs are for?" Spike is giving you a smug grin.
>"We didn't all grow up in a Library. With Twilight. Mr Snarky Dragon."
>"-this will be a great learning opportunity for the students! I'll have to check my schedule but I think there'll be some free time next week!"
>Twilight trots out of the library to check her schedule, and you're left with the sinking feeling you should have listening more closely to her rant.
>"Spike what just happened?"
>"I'm not completely sure but I think you're teaching a Friendship lesson at the school next week."
>Oh smeg.
>tfw triedidea for bumper oneshot but too fucked up and gave up after getting like 3 tlines done
eh its a bump still
Good stuff He-Anon. Love it. Thanks for the update.
I know this feel too well.
twiligh before she drank red-bull
"Magicless Anonymous"
"Tacet" by Ephemeral
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The Time Is Now

>You are you
>In Equestria
>Of course you are. What a dumb statement.
>Might as well say the grass is green
>or the sky is blue
>or the pink pony is the worst
>"Hiya Nonny!"
>Right on cue
"I refuse."
>"But I haven't even offered anything yet."
"I refuse anyway."
>"I just want to be your friend."
>Pinkie huffs and stomps off
>That was rather easy
>Today might just be a good da—
>"You can be her friend!"
>A random bystander is shoved into your face
>"Then, because I also happen to be her friend we can be friends of friends."
>The abducted pony mouths the word 'help'
>"Mutual acquaintances still count."
"That's not how that works. Also, no."
>Pinkie violently shoves the pony off screen before returning to you
>"But I'll think of something."
"Just give up. You can't force friendship."
>The town comes to a sudden stop
>Mothers hush their children; Fathers clear the road
>It is as if the town was making way for the gust of wind that blows pass
>Perhaps they were, as a single stallion emerges soon after dressed in fine clothes all colored black
>The townsfolk remain still, and for some reason you do the same
>In a world like Equestria you never know just what is about to happen
>The stallion marches right up to you where he finally stops, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a tape measure and starts on his task
"What are you doing?"
>"Taking your measurements."
"For my casket?"
>"For your wedding suit."

>Pinkie brought five friends
>Each friend is covered in gaudy jeweler
>The pieces of six begin to glow
>You eat a shiny laser

>"See Nonny, isn't this better~"
>Your eyes bleed ire for the pink mare dressed in white
>Through clenched teeth you whisper atop the podium solely for the trouble maker to hear
"You violated every inalienable right known to man. There's laws against this."
>"Not in Equestria~" she sings
>You are you
>In Equestria
>and you are magic married to the most intolerable pony you can think of
That took me by surprise. Good one.
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