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first for best princess
>>33390564Second for adopting baby ponies because your chromsomes WONT FUCKING WORK WITH A PONIES.
>"Anon, stop!">You halt, hand halfway to your mouth.>Steak just inches away from your tongue.>It's juicy and medium-rare, and you watch as a single drop of fluid drips from the steak impaled on your fork back onto your plate.>Twilight watches you with pity in her eye.>"I know what you're doing, Anon, and you're already beautiful the way you are!">...you fucking what?>You lower your fork, curious about what this adorable horse is talking about."Twilight?">Twilight is nearly in tears.>"I can't just sit and watch another stallion put his life in danger because he's worried about his appearance.">She wiggles her butt (for speed) and hops up onto the table, nearly stepping on your plate full of steak and potatoes.>She does, however, magically lift the plate and shove it a foot or two away.>To give her more room or to prevent you from eating it, you don't know.>Once she's close enough, she flops down onto her ass and cups your cheeks with her forehooves.>"Anon, I know a lot of stallions don't think they're handsome enough, or that they're too fat, but you have to stop this.">She smooshes your cheeks slightly, forcing your lips to purse.>"I've seen this before - one big meal and a couple of snacks throughout the day. And you know what else I've seen?">Her tail swishes and her muzzle trembles.>"I've seen stallions be put in the hospital because of ulcers... or WORSE. You don't need to do this. You're just fine the way you are, I promise.""Tww'lgth, wht're-">You can't talk because of this horse's hooves on your face.>Twilight leans in close and a single tear slides down her cheek.>"Anon, sweetheart," she whispers quietly, "Who did this to you?">She leans in closer and brings her muzzle to your ear.>"Who hurt you?"
>>33390564I'ma use this thread. Sorry, late faggot.
>>33390589And having a baby that looks nothing like you being raised in a culture unlike yours and having their life pre determined by an ass stamp isn't cuckery to the highest?Moron.
>>33390590>Someone reposted my greentext in the new threadYou have no idea how high my self esteem is now.
>>33390592>Picking the objectively worst Mane 6The only faggot here is you
Reminder there'd be a lot more differences than you realize between human kind and pony kind, both seen and unseen. Just the way you move and lock onto things with your eyes could be deeply unsettling to poners, male and female, young and old.
>>33390607Everyone is allowed to have their opinions, Anon. You're allowed to be wrong.
>>33390602>Someone reposted my greentext in the new threadStop being pricefaggot.
>>33390618>pricefaggotMy price is extremely low. $3.99, on sale now. Buy two get one free.
>>33388757Why do so many "men" on 4chan have mommy issues?Normal, healthy straight men like women younger than them. You're a bunch of freaks.
>>33390627>on 4chanI'd say only here and /r9k./ Everywhere else likes younger women.
>>33390627there's been a host of societal issues that contribute to that, but that discussion would fit more on /pol/ than here. have a qt mare insteadyes I do realize the irony of posting a mare over 1000 years old
>>33390623ALso I'm very drunk,
>>33390629/tv/ has mommyposting as well as cunnyposting
It's time to grow up people. How old are you lot? Its time to let go of this fantasy world and come back to reality. Any women here want to break the addiction together? I'm English.. We can make sweet love every night no matter your age
>>33390660>>33390649I appreciate that you posted this in both threads
>>33390665I realised my mistake, so I wanted to make sure it was definitely seen. Where are you from?
>>33390613>Anon wouldn't dare eat a pony>Anon in Frying up a Foal
>Anon shows pones his movie collection>They want to watch the human Daring Do movies
>>33390678Could they handle the face melting?
>>33390701Oh hell no
>>33390607Actually she's the best, which is why her episodes stuck and she seems boring. Rarity is worst
>>33390678>uhh another movie shoehorning stallions into unstallionish roles. fucking stallionists, am I right girls?
>>33390712If the file are from another universe where normal gender roles are bucked to Tartarus and back, how are they stallionistic? Checkmate LESBIAN
Is Pipsqueak half cow?
>>33390660Normalfags fuck off
>>33390678Show them Saving Private Ryan or Fury
>>33390735Look at the venom you have. It's from this place. With every thrust of my hard penis inside your wet moist vagina the poison will leave you and you will be in ecstacy
>>33390737I loved both of those movies. I loved Band of Brothers, too.Both Fury and Band of Brothers had great music.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd9E9u2lLW4
>33390739strange>>33390733no. also when the fuck was the last time he got any lines? all the way back in s2?
>>33390750Season 5 when he tried to run for class president
>>33390758oh right, thanks anon. have a patriotic pone
>>33390633>>33390571>Anon discovers how to shitpost on 4pone>Becomes friends with Luna to the point she considers starting a relationship>When Anon crosses the portal he becomes a young colt>Luna has to hide her "lover" or suffer being chastized by sunhat tipers>"This used to be commonplace sister!"
>>33390775I'd take advantage of this so hard and fuck with her and everyone around her. By the time I'm done with her she's going to have a severe shota fetish.She's also going to be terrified she's going to ponyjail.
>>33390775personally I always hated how luna always became the designated /ss/ pone because of pipsqueak
>>33390792You say that, but I don't see anything wrong with it. Makes sense for an immortal to take a lover young and be with them until the day they die of old age.
>>33390792>Luna's adorable arching backI want to lay on top of her.
>>33390802>I don't see anything wrong with itthen we must agree to disagree. shota and loli always made me uncomfortable and a moralfag's gonna moralfag. understand where you're coming from though, but would still prefer figuring out some form of immortality, or at least communication beyond the grave
>>33390802>>33390812>>33390792Anon is(was) an adult in that prompt>"How do you know you're sir Anonymous, you're ...young">"I would eat your ponut so hard you wouldn't be able to sit in a month">"Oh goodness! Its you!" >She gives her the most deep and moisty french kiss a mare can manage>"Wow aint that ilegal?">"Princess privilege dear.. now follow me and don't make noise, its too soon to let sister know"
>>33390850I get that, but even having an underage body just feels wrong to me. It's just really fucking wierd to think mature mind in an underage body and feels like pedo by proxy.
>>33390863Sounds like you fell for the pedo hysteria meme fampai.
>>33390863>he doesn't want to be the shota but still have all his adult depravitywhat the fuck this was literally all I thought about as a kid and teenager and adult
>>33390867yea yea like I said moralfag's gonna moralfag and we're gonna have to agree to disagree. also teenager I can accept since that went on for millenia before age of consent became a thing, but prepubescent is where I draw the line
>>33390863>>33390850>>33390867>"What's wrong Moonbutt not a colt fiddler?">"Kissing its fine, but you're still too young dear we will postpone marital duties for your coming of age">"...when's that?">"Why Anon, it will be on your 13th birthday, as per family customs"
>>33390879yea this shit I'd be ok with, I think I was misunderstanding exactly how young anon was depicted as
>>33390879>>33390883>implying I wouldn't tease and tempt the fuck out of her until she broke
>>33390887>>33390883>Coltnon tries to mount Luna>He just looks silly and she just cuddles him until they both fall asleepDoes being a (young) horse make it more or less awkward?
>>33390887>Anon's 13th comes around>Luna has him pinned down with a barely concealed mania>"Fair Anonymous, surely thou knew thine years of teasing would result in this happening once you came of age. Was getting caught part of your plan?""Of course! I had to give you plenty of offers; I had to find out how long it would take you to break.">"Well congratulations! You got yourself caught! Now what's the next step in your master plan?""Breeding you with a dozen foals!"
>>33390887>>33390895>nearly head height with her chest>keep running the end of your snout through her tuft in a highly inappropriate display>walking between her hind legs and softly brushing your face and top of your head against her teats>attacking her ears whenever she lays down with gentle nibbles>implying she'd last a week
>>33390613I wish more fics dealt with this kind of stuff. sadly most of it just focuses on MUH MEAT, MUH CARNIVORinstead of how those two things fundamentally shape the neurology and vision of predator and prey animals.
>>33390908>Celestia has to disguise Anon as buttler in training to the Princesses in order to hide the truth>Only them, Raven and a few trusted friends and family know the truth>Celestia worries she would have to give a pardon to all the colt fiddlers in order to not put her sister in jail>"What are we going to do if this gets out Luna!?">"Let them eat cake"
>>33390892https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkQ7o-gWWngStill boggles my mind that people assume herbivores can't digest meat. It doesn't even make logical sense.
>>33391116>Pony just ate a fucking bird, possibly wholeNow I'm imagining Anon finding a baby bird that fell out of a tree, only for it to be eaten right out of his hands>Anon kicks open Applejack's door holding a [BIRD SPECIES] chick in his cupped hands"Applejack I found a bird! I think it fell out of it's nest...">"Shoot Anon! I was lookin for a bird like that!""Really?">Crunch>Anon looks at Applejack in horror as she chews the chick a few times and swallows>"And you say you ain't house husband material!"
>>33390596Dude you're putting it on too hard, people won't bite.
>>33390587more of applejack gettinv bullied0
>>33391116Of course they can digest it, but they can't eat it regularly. That would be very bad.
>>33390775That Octavia looks like a fluffy pony.>>33390802>Luna used to have a harem of young colts back in the day before the banishment.>She was devastated when Celestia said such a thing was now illegal.>She understood the "no sex with minors" thing- she believed that even back then, but why can't she have her snuggle harem back?>The way she used to do it was to take in a harem of colts, usually those who had no where else to go and who she would take care of and love, sleep in a pile on the bed, then when the colts came of age, they became her sexual partners.>Never when they were young, however.>This modern age is just so confusing.
>>33391245Just adopt them ffs, it's not like you are going to be their biological mother.
>>33391278>Thousand years old Princess adopting young coltsWhat would the sunhat tippers and stallionists say?
>>33391163>whinnies profusely YA'LL HOL UP HOL UP>chomps downSO YA'LL ARE SAYIN>slurps up a featherSO IF Y'ALL AIN'T FIBBING>sniffs loudlyYEHAAAAAW SO IF I'M HEARING CORRECTLY>chews with her mouth openYA'LL TELLING ME>bucks an imaginary apple treeSUGERCUBE>grinds teethYER TELLIN ME>dances a quick jigSO YA'LL BE SAYING>licks upper lipsSIMMER DOWN Y'ALL BE SAYING>moves chewed bird to other side of mouthYOU BE>bites down hardYER TELLIN ME>savors the flavorYER SAYIN YOU BE>overchews to the point of exhaustionSOM HORSEAPPLES>continues chewing anywaySA YOU BE>shouts at little sisterSOM FANCY SMANCY >thinks about killing Flim and FlamYEHAAAAAAAW SOM FRU-FRU>finally swallowsSIMMER DOWN>gulps loudlyRIGHT ALL ALONG>lets out a mare belchYA'LLRE ALWAYZ>satisfied sighRAIN ER SHINE>tips hatYALL'RE SAYIN YOU BE>repeated banjo music in the backgroundIF AM BEIN HONEST>catcalls youPRUPOSIN TA ME N SHEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
>>33391282Who she has sex with when they grow up.The scandal! She's hogging all the stallions- er- taking advantage of them!Really though, as long as she lets them move on if and when they're ready to, it should be fine.>One of Luna's colts is leaving the snuggle pile, a monumental day indeed.>"Oh, how I'll miss you, fair Pine Nut, but I know you will be in capable hooves with that nice baker and the other mares.">"Thanks, Luna, I really love them.">"Well, make sure you show them every night. Remember that thing I taught you with your tongue. Ponuts deserve love, too.">The stallion blushes.>"Yes, Luna, I'll be sure to remember.">"Good, now lets cut this cake and enjoy the farewell party! Your little brothers have been eyeing it since the royal bakers rolled it in. How about it boys? Ready for cake?">"YEAH!">Pine Nut chuckles to himself.>His familiar was nuttier than him.
>>33391318Threadly reminder that Urban Jack is real and will be Apple Jack's fate in next pone gen
>>33391341I kept misreading that shit as Union Jack and now all I can think of is her with a west country accent
>>33391116Reminds me of the video of the goat that goes up to the crate full of baby chicks, and just starts going to town.He eats those little yellow fluff balls like the marshmallow peeps modeled after them.
>>33391116Damn nature, you scary
>>33391341thats sad. i like how she is now, honest & hardworkingwhat will her city version be? lazy & a lying whores?
>>33391336This is cute, especially since its mainly snuggles.And imagine the fucking self esteem that mare would get.>This stallion is with THE PRINCESS and chose ME over HER!I wonder if the 'used goods' stigma would be countered by the fact it was Princess Luna who did the using.
>>33391372>what will her city version beAccording to Hasbro she'll be "more relatable."
>>33391336Combine this with the vibe of the de-aged Anon above, or just go full kidAnon.>Luna often went to visit the old Everfree castle to reminisce.>She is happy in her new life, but still, this place draws her back.>She comes to reflect on happy times, and sad.>This time, however, she came across someone else wondering those halls.>When the human child was found, he was lost, scared, and an all around pitiful sight in his dirty rags covering numerous scratches and bruises.>Luna's heart instantly went out to him.>On the trip back to the castle, he remained firmly pressed against the seat of the the carriage, weary of her, and terrified of the height as they flew.>Much of that weariness dissipated, however, when she took him to the kitchens and ordered for a meal to be prepared.>And after he was done stuffing his face, he was taken to a warm bath.>Never before had Anon been so excited to be in a tub of hot, soapy water.>He'd certainly never complain about taking baths again after his long stint in the dark, cold, decrepit castle.>He was so glad, in fact, that he didn't put up much of a fight when the blue horse, Luna, she had called herself, insisted she stay to help wash him.>His back needed scrubbing anyways.>Then the two went to her chambers, and the boy was introduced to a whole room of colts.>Luna frowned.>"I do believe it is well past your bedtime, boys.">"We were waiting for you!" one chirps. "We can't go to bed without our goodnight kisses!">Luna rolls her eyes, but smiles.>"Well, it's fine this time. It simply means you'll be introduced to your new brother now instead of in the morning. Anon, I'd like you to meet your new family.">Anon doesn't have time to respond before he's swarmed by a group of young colts bombarding him with questions.>Luna smiles an watches.>She reflects on the bath, and what she had seen under the water.>Such an interesting shape, she wondered what it would be like when the boy was fully grown.>And erect.
>>33391639>ywn have a bunch of adoptive brothers across all age ranges to cuddle, mess around and grow up with.Never knew i wanted that until this moment, sounds really comfy.Also, because it bothered me a little.>Luna keeps her colts pure, despite her relaxed attitude towards lewd.>Once they're old enough to be considered a Stallion, they get their own room in the castle as a sign of their independence.>Finds the idea of 'stealing' their virginity to be abhorrent, as they may one day find a nice mare they would like to give it to as they get older.>Dreams dont count though, so while that hypothetical mare will indeed find a virgin colt, he'll by no means be inexperienced.
>>33391851I like stories where the Princesses lived in a time that wasn't RGR.
>>33391599I'm immediately reminded of that time Mitt Romney did a photo shoot with some blacks and he commented "who let the dogs out".
>>33391639>part of the reason Luna was hated way back when was because she kept stealing everyone's fucking kids>no one really would have minded if it was the 8th ginger step-filly that every family seemed to have, but she always seemed to go for the colts>y'know, the "one in six females" colts that pretty much their entire society was built around protecting>honestly, it's only surprising that she didn't get banished sooner, Nightmare or not
>My little Primates is getting an anime adaptation in Neighpon>Anon gets asked to do the English dub for the human prince>Anon agrees>Hfw they made the prince into an innuendo spouting DILF>Anon never had so much fun>Occasionally he goes to conventions cosplaying as the prince>He loves the looks on those tiny pony faces when he sneaks up behind them and says something lewd to them
>>33392070>>Anon gets asked to do the English dub for the human prince>goes to cons>always hears the same things>"dubs sucks, subs are better">"They ruined the character. Prince might as well be an OC for the anime">"fucking anime only secondaries, I bet they never read the neighnga"">"all these plebs husbandoing the prince, when villain of the week #7 who only has 5 minutes of screentime and 2 lines is clearly the superior choice">"checkout out my fanart!" It goes with my fic about how your character the Prince is secretly in love with [insert every male character] and constantly has sex with them">thank god cons have started paying him in beer to come to these things.
>>33392091God damn cuck queen degenerates.
>>33392091>Anon begins to wonder if he didn't actually survive the car crash that immediately preceded his departure to Equestria.>Anon wonders why demons look like a bunch of sweaty nerds and where their pitchforks are
>>33392091>Anon meets a pone that actually likes his character>He ends up making her call him daddy>He gives her [OBJECT HERE] to use as bragging rights about not being a virgin anymore
>>33392108I smell a scandal>Media trys to make Anon seem like a whore or to make the mare look like a rapist>Anon responds to their hounding questions in ways that just make them look like cunts"Yeah I had sex with her and I enjoyed it. I gave consent, what more do you want?">Anon even recorded himself giving consent and made a legal document saying he gave consent>Pone CNN is seen as even more untrustworthy than ever>More so because of when they doxxed a twelve year old for a meme>Anon sits back and laughs at pone libtards
>>33392020>Stealing kids>implying she isn't adopting the poor colts after their families die to bandit or monster attacks.
>>33392119Nah man, weebs love fantasizing about VAs, but they don't accept it in reality.>fans find out Anon's been sleeping around>he wasn't exactly subtle about it>NOPE>fans are outraged>calls him a filthy whore and other shit>nobody watches or buys anything he's in>becomes poison, so no one hires him anymore>loses his job/career all because he fucked everyone around>...except the bassist
>>33392127He could VA for hentai
>>33392139>"Mare! Mare, we've got the ACTUAL COLT who did the voice for the main character! Like, for real! Oh man, this porn is gonna sound so legit now that we have the actual voice actor. We don't need to waste time finding somepony who kinda sounds like him and is willing to read the l-lewd dialogue."
>>33392435>YWN snuggle Lyra>Lyra will never nuzzle your hands in happinessMint horse, I need you.
>>33392442I wanna herd with Lyra and Bonbon
Which horses would like the snow the most?Which mare would be the most embarrased if you caught them frolicking and making snowI don't know, what can they even make in the snow with their body shape like a little filly?
>>33389733>Smelling like those you're close to is a big part of pony relationships>Parent and young children especially>When they're born, for the first week at least or the first month at most, a foal's eyes don't work very well>To make up for this they seek out their parents and nuzzle them as much as possible>By learning the smell of their parent, the foal will then be able to find them again when their eyes start working>However most ponies can only fit up to two foals on their backs at most>This can be an issue for herd as the foals from different mothers may not recognise the smell of the other herd mares>In the worst case scenario, they won't notice the smell of their father>Lucky for Anon, when laying down, he has plenty of nuzzle room>He can fit up to a dozen foals spread out across his torso, limbs, and sometimes his head>He often finds himself waking up from naps covered in tiny foals all lightly kicking and yawning in their sleep>More often than not he'll also find his herd mares cuddling around him, so that all the foals, know all the smells>Weirdly though, ever since he's had visitations, his stepfoals have been nuzzling him when they think he's fully asleep
>>33392503>tfw feel phantom warmth from imagining this
>>33392108>Anon becomes the equivalent of Tara Strong.>He knows mares slick to him and will even sign lewd fan art while occasionally making lewd comments back to them.>Mares always post about him on the horse internet, he even makes some threads every now and then too but will never admit it.>Mares later on will tell stories from old cons where he ate them out or had sex with them in their hotel room.>No pony ever believes them online.
>>33392540Sometimes Anon asks if they want to do anal
>>33392091>>33392070>>"fucking anime only secondaries, I bet they never read the neighnga"">never read the neihnga>of a series that was (presumably) originally made in Equestriamakes me just as mad as that one faggot that legitimately thought the last airbender was an anime and waited for the japanese translation to watch the "real" version
>>33392928That can't be real. Please tell me someone wasn't THAT autistic
>>33392939You're underestimating autism, retardation and the Dunning-Kruger effect of people.
>>33392928>Tards calling ATLA an anime
>>33392928>>33392961All of this avatar talk reminds me of how fucked over the series was by it's "sequel">Be me>Be young>See the announcement for the legend of korra>Excited as fuck for a sequel to my favorite show>Mfw all I got was Mary Sue bullshit>Mfw I watched my favorite shows corpse get dug up, raped and spat on by corporate greed and sjw bullshit
>>33393008I never got why people always shit on LOK. Sure it's not as good as TLA, but I liked it.
>>33393018You like the Legend of Whorra because you like fit black thots.
>>33393030I liked it because I found it to be an interesting extension to the worldbuilding.
>>33393008I" M T H E A V A T A R N O W A N D Y O U G O T T A D E A L W I T H I T
>>33393035>Worldbuilding>Breaks every single established rule and burned what was left to literal ashesYou know what, I can only assume your stupid. Here is a documentary list explaining why you are wrong for liking Legend of Whorra.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4BZtFgtCuHUt0p8J-XENiA/videos>>33393041And deal with it indeed.
>>33393060>And deal with it indeed.Turning off the TV and walking away is an easy and effective technique. It's what I did.
>>33393068The sin is there and no amount of showering will make it clean, we need fire.
>>33393008Shit, guess Im lucky for not watching it then.I hate when later episodes/seasons/sequels destroy aspects that made you like the series in the first place.And it happens WAY too often, so often in fact that its almost a guarantee that sooner or later some hack will pick up the thing you loved and take a big, steaming shit onto it.Many such cases.
>>33393060>Documentary >Video titled Legend of Whorra: Reniggings>Implying I should ever take someone like that seriously
>>33393091Oh that's just season two, what you need is at the bottom of the page. And a meme title still doesn't make it wrong.
>>33393008dont forget the sudden and shoehorned lesbianism
>>33393091You never should take documentaries seriously.After all, their only purpose is to manipulate your opinion about shown subject, not show objective facts.
>>33393109>Sudden and shoehorned lesbianism>Very short moment at the end of the show that can be interpreted in many ways>Somehow ruins entire show
>>33393116I would mention here Samurai Jack, but that show had other serious problems besides bullshit ending.
>>33393118Now that's a show that was ruined.
>>33393122I say ruined. The last season was ruined, the ones before it were classics.
>>33393116the show was already shit to begin withthe ending just made it worse
>>33393035>an interesting extension to the worldbuilding.You are objectively wrong and should watch the playlist linked here >>33393060 to understand why Korra was a horrible extension to the series, and the character Korra herself a pretty bad character.
>>33393138>Still trying to pass off that guy as a legitimate source of information
>>33393160What are you afraid of? All the video is doing is going through the episode piece by piece by the first season, are you a dumb fanboy afraid of facts against the literal thot you like? There is nothing but facts in those videos.
>>33393160If it works, then I'm sorry but it works.
>>33393160He uses clips from the show and gives his opinion which i happen to agree with.On a different note though.Aang in RGRE, how would the Princesses deal with such whimsy?
>>33393160Anon, watch it.
>>33393181>Aang in RGREat what point? airbending only, mastery of all 4 elements, or somewhere in between?
>>33393219>implying any version of aang would be okay with ditching his old world
>>33392123>Mare is caught jay walking>Entire herd is sent to horse gulag by Luna>"Wait! What's gonna happen to our fillies and colts!?">"Your daughters will be sent to orphanage, your sons can stay in the Palace's coughRoyalHaremscough">"Wait what?">"You should thought of that before you law breakers!"
>>33393219>>33393249First episode Aang was running away like a little bitch, to be fair.>Was never found in the ice.>Planet goes to shit without the avatar.>Their planet is equestria.>Glacial drift churns him out to the crystal empire ice plains for the sake of plot, fuck geography.>Breaks out when the crystal empire resurfaces.
>>33393249>implying that's what I'm implyingof course the kid's #1 overriding goal would be get back to his own world, he's got a firelord to defeat and a love interest already. no reason there can't be an adventure to get him back, or at the very least he has to spend time waiting for twilight or the princesses to figure something out
>>33393160its good for a giggle, if nothing else
>>33393254spirit of the avatar and tree of harmony pairing when?
>>33393469>spirit of avatar IS tree of harmony
>>33393486Harmony of the grave by getting rid of the humans?That or maybe the spirits crossed over once humans were gone and were made into flesh?Oh if that's the case then I'd say dragons are fire spirits, pegasi wind spirits, Earth ponies/buffalo/diamondogs are possible earth spirits and for water spirits Hippogriffs. Other animal civs might be cause from a mixing of the spirits like griffons being of earth and air while Unicorns could be a mix of earth and fire?
>>33392020>>33391719>>33391639>Kidnon acts a little too "mature" for his age>He always wants mouth kisses and loves to shove his face on her gift>Luna is about to break her golden rule>"H-humans mature faster, right? Right!?"
>all this weeb shitAnd it's not even proper japanese weeb shit, it's dumb fake weeb shit. reeeeeeeeeee etc
>>33393008Say what you will, but LoK has created some great porn.
need a good rgre fanfic
>>33394228Why not AJ?
>>33394287Top tier waifu here.
>>33394452I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm not sure what you expected would happen.
>>33394304>Rainbow was glaring right back at her from the top of your head>Since she was way too short for you to sit in her lap, the winged beauty was kind of hanging off your back like some sort of goblin>Her arms were hooked around your shoulders, and her legs were fastened securely around your middle so she could rest her head on top of yours>Her massive blue wings were also wrapped around you, leaving only your face visible>To be honest, it didn't seem like it was that comfortable of a position, but Dash seemed absolutely fine with it>In fact, she also seemed smug as she held onto you, nuzzling your neck and head every once in awhileI always liked this bit.
>>33394603That really does sound great.
>>33394603Yeah, LaP really can deliver.
>>33394603>https://pastebin.com/g6WvHH4DAren't they hot anthro girls in that. Packing E cups and such?Also Dash's one is so incel filled. Muh roastie hurrr, pony better.
>>33394603>>Since she was way too short for you to sit in her lap, the winged beauty was kind of hanging off your back like some sort of goblin>like some sort of goblin>goblin
>>33394615>Aren't they hot anthro girls in that.I don't think so? They're just regular girls, but kinda horse-ified, like wings and petite body's for pegasus girls and stupidly big for earth girls.
>>33394616I love that that manga has the character stay to his ideals. I haven't gotten to the hot nun girl yet.
>>33394615More like this>>33394610Human but with pone elements, horns, wings, THICC and Tallness.>Also Dash's one is so incel filled. wat?>>33394616Figure of speech, down bud
>>33394642Incel filled in that woman bad because she is evil woman. Common occurrence.
>>33394636>I haven't gotten to the hot nun girl yet.She's used GOBBED goods.
>>33394657You mean normal?
>Mare getting cuckHow does even work?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4xZUr0BEfECompletely unrelated but I just found this band today and this legit made me smile
>>33394809This sounds like something you'd hear in a Tarantino movie.
>>33394857It's Mongolian throat singing and it's fucking awesome
>>33394870You want some Mongolian throat singing, do you?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el93MIxAf-c&feature=youtu.be
>>33394870>>33394891In fact, have another, with some pretty great production quality to boot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXgzc--MgvA
>>33394891>Mongolianon's throat singing annoys ponies but attracts every yak within a ten mile radiusNamely this cutie
Anyone have a good or know of a "nice mare" & sunhat tiper parody fics??
>>33394891>A whole herd of curly-maned horses!>Mongol drink kumis>Mongol ride horseback>True Mongol warrior inseparable from horse!btw i use arch I have a mlp cup that I use for milk only.
>>33394936Reminder that Cellybelly is the biggest sunhat tipper in all the land.
>>33395136things that sunhat tipers do, go!
>>33395171Respect your independence as a strong male that don't need no mare
>>33394891Why does attila have purple hair?Is he part of some stallionyst movement, showing dominance over that innocent mare by trussing her up and mounting her with clothes on?little slut probably knows exactly what he's doing
>>33392108> daddy.> not taking them as fake concubines for the duration of the convention and making them call him "Your highness." > Not having an awkward moment when he finds out one of them is princess twilight in disguise
>>33394615>Also Dash's one is so incel filled. Muh roastie hurrr, pony better.Oh please, you clearly didn't read the Fluttershy one. It's the one where some tool spazzes out and starts beating Fluttershy because "GRRRR 50% of the population is irredeemably evil, every single one of them is just like those 3 girls I saw" and he doesn't even have the benefit of being cheated on, he just saw it happen and went "welp, I guess 3.5 billion individuals are all the same." It's the most NMP thing LAP's ever written.
>>33395621I like the Dazzling one.
>>33395624The Dazzling one was pretty good. The whole thing was pretty good, and it's one of the rare times LAP writes Rainbow Dash in a positive light.
>>33395624>>33395621>>33395626LaP is the only one I've read that has an Anon that ends up with all the sirens. I read the Poor Little Human and Dazzling Pack yesterday and they were great. Anyone know of any other good anon x dazzlings fic?
>>33395636https://pastebin.com/eH6S1fbPIt was dead for a while and then updated a year ago, and then the writefag fucked off again. It's not RGRE, but it's probably my favourite Anon x Dazzling story.
>"-then I thought 'Are just his EYES magic?' but that wouldn't make any sense and I asked Spike to be DOUBLE sure and HE said he'd never heard about it either!">'..Uh, Twilight?'>"Oh, AppleJack! Sorry, I must not have noticed you come up. I was just having a conversation with Equestria's newest resident and handsome eligible stalli-">'Twi, yer' talkin' to a lamp post.'>"I..Itachi was just right here..!">'Heh, yeah he's been known to do that a time or two..had Bloom & all her little friends cluckin' like chickens earlier..give em' some room.'
>Princess-in-Training Cadance, world renowned mistress of innuendo
>>33396046>"I'm going to eat your balls, Anon.">You pinch the bridge of your nose and slowly shake your head."No... No, Cadence.">"Was that... was that wrong?""That was wrong.">"Oh...""It's "I'm going to SUCK your balls", Cadence. The whole gimmick is that you suck on hard candy.">"Oh! Oh, okay. Well, I mean, these are gumballs. You don't suck on gu-""I KNOW they're gumballs, Cadence.">You are Anon, and you are doing your goddamn best to teach this newly-minted princess to use innuendo properly.>Ever since you called her "Candy-Ass", she's been determined to be known for her sexy candy puns.">"Okay, lemme try it again. Ahem! I'm gonna... I'm gonna blow-">Hey!>Finally!>"-bubbles with your balls.">This entire day has been a trainwreck.
>>33396060priority #1 is to get condense away from the ballbusting innuendos. unless she wants shining or any stallion she tries setting up on a date to run away screaming that shit needs to stop
>>33396113Thankfully (you)'re there for her and able to see that she doesn't intend for her words to come out so poorly, so at least her own romantic future isn't completely destroyedBut yeah, she's gonna need some tutoring/practice if she wants to ever be a match maker of any sort in the future
>>33396129>"Hey colt, put benis in vagene.""Okay we've hit the poo in the loo stage, so it's progress. Now let's see if we can skip over the 'I'm 12 and what is this' phase."
>>33396113"Okay, you know what? Spherical candy is overdone. Every mare out there from highschool age onward can make a stupid testicle pun.">Cadence puts a hoof to her chin and furrows her brow in deep thought.>"How about.... candy canes!">She clops her hooves together with delight at her new idea.>"Those are nice and phallic!">...okay, that's not bad.>She's learning."Great idea. Now, off the top of your head, what sort of sexy imagery can you come up with.">Cadence plants her forehooves onto either side of her head and closes her eyes.>She screws up her face like she's about to lift something heavy and starts to hum.>"Uh... Uhh! I'll... I will... lick your...">C'mon, Cadence.>It's not hard.>"I'll lick your candy cane-">Yes!>No horrible implications of mall mutilation here!>"-until my saliva dissolves the sugar, upon which time I will bite down on-""FUCK'S sake.">You throw your hat down onto the ground and storm out."Now you're just doing this on purpose!">You leave the room and slam the door behind you.>Cadence holds her position for a long ten seconds, listening to your heavy stomping footsteps to fade away.>Once she's sure you're gone, she relaxes magics up a candy cane.>Grinning to herself, she begins to lick it.>"That's the third tutor aunt Celestia hired for me," she says with a self-satisfied chuckle, "Maybe this time she'll learn that the Princess of Love doesn't need to be taught how to make dick jokes.">She sticks the end of the candy cane into her mouth and starts to gently suck on it, polishing the end of it with her eager tongue.>With a wet pop, she pulls the candy cane from her mouth, leaving a trail of saliva between her tongue and the sweet treat.>"Maybe somepony needs to give HIS candy cane a lick~.>Cadence hums thoughtfully and taps her chin with the moist candy cane, turning the fur on her chin a sticky mess.>"Maybe Anon would be a bit less high strung if he had a herd...">If papa ain't happy, ain't nopony happy.
>>33396141>the entire thing was a ploy to get the peetzer codesthat clever horse
>>33395638That was a fun read, anon. Thanks for the recommendation. Where is it usually posted?
>>33396216Dazzling thread. I don't go there (save for when I found that story), so I don't know if the dude's still around and not posting, or if he died in a car accident or something like that.
Anons who say that in RGRE, they will meet and marry theirs waifu make me laugh. THE first mare they will meet, will totally slay them and make them their loyal husband
>>33396342That is an accurate statement.
>>33396342>ywn be prepared to do what it takes to snag your waifu>ywn put on something nice and ask them out to dinner>swn laugh and shake her head>"What? Naw, c'mon, it's supposed to be the other way around. How 'bout I pick you up at 7? I have a nice place in mind for the two of us.">ywn go home, confused but pleased>ywn answer the knock on your door at 6:55 and find your waifu there>swn give you a bow and ask if you're ready to go>"Walk by my side, Anon. I don't want anypony bumping into you.">swn make small talk and throw in compliments to you, and accept return compliments with a smile>When the bill comes, swn insist on paying for it and refuse to hear a word saying otherwise>"What sorta mare would I be if I took a handsome stallion on a date and made him pay for his meal? This isn't Griffonstone, Anon, mares here know how to treat their stallions.">swn walk you home>ywn give her a goodnight kiss>ywn walk inside and be hit with the realization that SHE took YOU out on a date and not the other way around
>>33396366Hahah that'd be the first date I'd been on in like the last 17 years
>>33396342What if I don't have a waifu and am a pretty cold person?What if I just want to adventure in an entirely new world where magic exists?
>>33396342>Arrive in equestria.>Take three steps outside.>Hear a brief gust of wind before you feel a weight on your back and shoulders.>Get your breath taken away as something impossibly soft nuzzles your cheek.>A shiver goes down your spine as the voice of an angel whispers in your ear.>"Hey there cutie, you seem new in town, mind if i take you out for Lunch?"
>>33396391>Pegasi lands on your shoulders>Leans in close and whispers "I'm your waifu now. Don't fight it." >Hooks her cute little hooves under your shoulders and easily lifts you up and carries you home
>>33394218That's questionable. It's more 75% trash and 25% decent, but that's all porn nowadays. You can't even question it or judge it if it's poorly made because "It's porn it doesn't have to be good reeeee"
>>33396404>>33396391>"Bucking pegassi stealing our stallions! Ah say no more!"
>>33396391>This is how pegasi "hunt">They know that earth ponies and unicorns are limited by the third dimension, but pegasi are not>They stalk the skies and communicate to each other through a complicated language of chirps and peeps>Pegasus mares establish a network of information on hot dick>When Anon arrives in town, he's unwittingly lucky to arrive at night when everyone's in bed, and the ones who aren't can't see him in the dark>When he wanders around town the next day, the information network lights up>A nearby pegasus mare's ears perk up as she hears a "there's husbando material in your area" peeps and chirps>Finds something that doesn't look like a pony, but reeks of masculinity>Anon forgot to shower that morning.>Flaps down and lands on his shoulders>"Hey there cutie, you seem new in town, mind if i take you out for Lunch?">Husbando GET
>>33396404>Pegasi are husbando stealersWe should have seen it coming with Flash "Waifu Thief" Sentry.
>>33396415Earth ponies were the original inventors of firearms and rocketry, which arose from the need to deter those goddamn sky ziggers from coming down and kidnapping earth pony stallions and colts.
>>33396404>Carries you home.>To her cloud house.>Slaps a bracelet on you that let's you cloud-walk.>You're basically horse-married now.
>>33396448>Sky Ziggers are Boomers>"Let me show you around the house, here's the garage... it's a gym now though, let me show you where the cloud mowner and OUR yearly supply of Neighster Energy drinks are"
>>33396493An accurate statement.But really though I was Rainbow's parents were my mom and dad
>>33396342>>33396358>Love to your waifu means nothing in the face of some random mare throwing herself at youIf you can't stay loyal to your waifu when faced with some affection then you don't deserve one.
>>33396521>Implying I feel worthy enough to consider having a waifuThat is a really good joke buddy.
>>33396514I want to know what loving parents feel like.
>>33396532Its... nice. You know that they're always there for you and genuinely love you no strings attatched, which can make you feel worse if you're like me and without direction or accomplishment in life like you don't deserve their love.
>>33396514>>33396532>For all the times you heard AJ curse and talk badly of "Sky Ziggers" they're pretty comfy people>Turns out they have comfy industry jobs and retire early (the equivalent of a 30 year old calling quits) unlike earth ponies (especially Apples) who work almost all their lives>Your wive and all of your neighborhood are already retired and cashing pension checks, most dad are house husband's but they still have the time to come over and admire your cloud lawn and hang out at your garage gym or crack open Neighster or beer
>>33396573>>33396532>Apathetic feminist parent getAt least some people know the care they get is only a continence as a live in pet watcher. Sucks to be you two.
>>33396532Well now your only option is to marry the fuck out of their daughter and have them come over and visit regularly
>>33396590But my waifu is party pone.
We /pegasus/ now?
>>33396532And just like that I got feels. Thanks.
>>33396521Let's be honest most people use 'waifu' as a term for "Pony they have a crush on." instead of it's proper meaning, and that's hardly a betrayal.
>>33397155Correct.I don't even have a waifu, I just like all the cute mares.
>>33397155>>33397182that's why you're the herd generalyou don't want one mare; you want all the maresyou're like that kid who used to be all "No, I'm not it, I was touching base and I had my fingers crossed the whole time!"
>>33397198I just like cute mares, don't be a faggot. I'm sure if I could actually interact and talk with them I'd very quickly find my mate4lyfe.
>>33397198My degenerate lust for both shiny/gleaming and peetzer horse notwithstanding, you cant argue the fact most people use the term 'waifu' wrong.
>>33396838Are wings considered alongside tufts to suggest mareliness?>"That's bullshit Flutershy why does Anon always pet your wings if I'm the fastest flyer?!">"Now you're just jealous"
>>33397212STOP EATING MY FUCKING ICE CREAM AND GET YOUR OWN
>>33397249>Yelling at candy ass>Not waiting until she goes in for another lick and booping her snoot with the icecream It's like you don't even want to good-naturedly want to tease your friend.
>>33397212I would unironically herd with Shining and Cadance.
>>33397260Fuck them and the gays that keep trying to get shinning trash and candyass garbage.
>>33397263As a faggot that isn't surprising anyone. Good news is you are unfit to live, and won't ever go there, so its a moot point.
>>33397272I'm just talking about icecream Anon cool your autism.
>He doesn't want this qt p2t to call him Unca Anon
>>33397322but anon, I'm already an uncle to nothing
>>33397322>>33397327>(Grown-up) Flurry calling me uncle while I go barebackWhat an odd thing to ask
>>33397263>tfw he's literally the only thing i'd do gay shit with, and even then only with Cadence in the mix.I've looked at so much faggot porn to try and settle the "I'm gay?" question and they do nothing to me, yet these two get my motor running every single time.For the record if it was a case of gleaming shield i'd nail her right into the ground, i greatly appreciate the existance of horse pussy, i just dont care about doing gay shit with shining.Whats even worse is that i'm usually a monofag so i dont even know what the fuck is going on with my dick.>>33397277>>33397272>Exactly a minute apart.On the off chance you're two separate people, if you're herdfags that object to the presence of a stallion then you're pretty big hypocrites.
>>33397410>On the off chance you're two separate people, if you're herdfags that object to the presence of a stallion then you're pretty big hypocrites.How, this entire sentence makes no sense.
>>33397327Whose an adorable lil abomination? You are, yes you are yo-Motherfucker, the conditioning is already happening boys, quick someone punch me in the face!
>>33397410Honestly, I think it's the fact that the two represent an ideal relationship where both of them are okay with each other and their quirks, hardly seem to get into big spats or drama and as a result most Anons would love to be a part of such a thing. >ywn engage in a jolly game of wife toss with your bro Shiny>ywn add in a niece to the toss to make it interesting>ywn get turned into a penquin by the ticking time bomb of magical potential known as Flurry Heart by mistake>ywn wark in surprise before everyone has a good giggle about it after the fact.
>>33397432Typical herdfag response ITT is that any herd with more than one male is instantly shit, irregardless of circumstance.It's hypocritical to expect multiple mares to be okay with doing lesbian shit with each other, while instantly rejecting another male being in the mix on account of it being homofaggotry.Especially in RGRE, where two stallions going at it is probably a fetish for most mares, just like two women going at it is a fetish for most guys.It feels like just using the idea of herds as an excuse to fuck multiple ponies without consequence, rather than having a serious polyamorous relationship with them.Fair enough if that's what you want, but dont dress it up as something else, assuming you're a herdfag at all in this case.
>>33397476Whats that anon, i cant hear you over how gosh darned fluffy she is.>>33397484>ywn play toss the mares with your bro shining.Cute as fuck.
>>33397521>>33397198>>33397410Why do you care?
>>33397532Ah shit man, you've already fallen! No my brother in manliness! You could have been great! Now yo-why that is an abnormally large amount of tuft on a pone so small. You think it's like a penquin with all that extra fluff before their proper feathers grow in?
>>33397532>Ywn comfort Flurry when she's scared to start her first day at magic kindergarten.
>>33397572Embrace your father-instincts my brother, become the perfect house colt you were born to be.Extra fluff might be a pegasi thing that likely helps cushion the foals in case of accidental falls, and is shed as they get older for a more aerodynamic coat.>>33397589>ywn get accidentally turned into an ursa minor when you play with her.
>>33397655HnnnnnghIt should be illegal to be that cute
>>33397733Aren't all fillies like that?
>>33397811some mares carry it well into adulthood to use as a weapon. millenia of evolution have rendered most stallions resistant toward this strategy, but to Anon he has no inbuilt resistance to this insidious tactic
>>33397811While anon walks through town some fillies like to climb up onto him and hang from his body. By the time he reaches his destination he's a covered in a multicolored, fluffy giggling mass of foals.
>>33397837When Luna pouts and says she's not cute this shit right here is all anon sees
>>33397837>some mares carry it well into adulthood to use as a weapon. millenia of evolution have rendered most stallions resistant toward this strategylike a literal weapon, as in spy-mares infiltrating rival kingdoms/towns to find their stallions, seduce them, then kill them to ensure that the next generation is smaller/not happening?or a figurative one to get stallions to put out more?cause my understanding of evolution makes me think that stallions would be less resistant over time rather than more, due to the "vulnerable" ones actually having more kids
>>33397907>cause my understanding of evolution makes me think that stallions would be less resistant over time rather than more, due to the "vulnerable" ones actually having more kidswell shit I didn't actually think of that. fuck, now what am I supposed to do with that prompt?
>>33397927just go the literal route, opens up some intruge and world building that people love so muchalso, horses with guns, yay or nay?
Did somebody say birbs?
>>33397932>also, horses with guns, yay or nay?Nay. Being effective at killing ruins some of the magic.
>>33397932>yay or neighFTFY, but really depends. some settings having a firearms be a thing can be important, sometimes firearms can turn anon into yet another gary stu. in my personal opinion it should be flintlocks if anything, no cannons yet but the capacity for them is there considering fireworks are a thing>>33397936no but have a birb anyway
>>33397837I’ll be honest; I’d gain a reputation as a cuddle slut the day I arrived
>Anon in RGRE but ponies don't have genitalia
>>33397975It's still a step up desu
>>33397975still a step up and kisses and blowjobs are still a thing
>>33397975There used to be a Derpy centric story where ponies were turned on by being nice to each other and giving hugs were literally as good as having sex.
>>33397975>RGREqG on the other hand has incidental holes in female clothing to show off their lewd bits
>>33397994They show off their genitals to reinforce the power of the matriarchy
>>33397994>>33398002>Principal Celestia reinforces her position by wearing the most revealing clothes>Anon crosses over the day of a school assembly>DATRAINBOWBUSH.exe
>>33398063>Dry spell from cuddly poners with magic babies from no sex>Sex goddess basically flashing her tits>Ass an puss is barely covered as well, just eating the thong she's wearing>As a regular human Anon is stupidly large compared to the resident EqG people>And Celestia sees the boner he popped.
>>33398080YE, ITS TIME
>>33398080>>33398093I imagine it would go like this with Luna getting in on the action
>>33396573My mom has some kinda disorder and won’t get counseling. The parents screaming fights multiple times a week kinda fucked with me. Mother can’t realize that saying woe is me look at my health then telling me to do something I disagree with in the same phone call is pretty much emotional manipulation. Says she’s Christian and “honor they parents” basically implies I gotta listen because I’m obligated to. It’s ok Anon we’ll all make it.
>>33397655I honestly thought she was just shitting her diaper.
>>33398136>>33396573Same anon with yelly parents. It’s ok dude you can change. I’m doing it slowly, just give yourself some attainable goals and work at em. Like everyday when you wake up clean for 30minutes or something. Just simple things that bring it all together.
>>33398063>>DATRAINBOWBUSH.exeI feel intimidated already.
>>33398080>>Ass an puss is barely covered as well, just eating the thong she's wearingfuckin WEW lad
>>33398207NO ANONYou have to resist! That's how they get you.First they distract you and lower your guard by flashing their bountiful assets and the next thing you know, you're chained to a bed and become nothing more than a breeding toy.
>>33398242"...Caramel, fuck off already.">The antsy student grabs onto your arm tighter.>"And I hear that if you say 'Bloody Martin' three times in a mirror while flashing a flashlight, a gang member pops out of your mirror and kills you!"The joke is that urban legend where if you flash your headlights at a car at night that doesn't have its headlights on, that's actually a gang member and his orders are "wait til some schmuck flashes his high-beams at you and then kill him".Explaining the joke makes it more funny, right?
>>33398262I wonder how common that urban legend is. I remember hearing this shit in rural texas and nowhere else. Even the cops thought this.
>>33398271Things like snopes means that everyone out there can hear all about dumb local legends.
>>33398271Its more of a thing in cities and even then I can't remember it being a thing recently what with members getting caught doing it.
>>33398242That's just step one in the courtship process though, the second step is to break free showing your strength as a mate or to pick the lock to the bed showing your dexterity or even better finding a way free using your smarts, depending on the method you use allows the girl to know if your a keeper or a scamper. Now its really rare, but if you manage any of that and stay to cook a meal for yourself and her then you've pretty much agreed to be horse girl married. Usually most tend to just leave for the third step to be invoked, but that's for later.
>>33398281Probably not, just because if gang members did that every time, there would have been a fuckload of dead bodies.
>>33398314That's the more "traditional" way of doing things, Kids today barely know how to tie their own shoelaces let alone create a device complex enough to effectively entrap a man. Now they just roofie the poor dears and lock the men in a room until they agree to put out.
>>33398314What's step 3?
>>33398482>Celestia never expected her presentation after Anon stayed the last time to work>She also never expected him to really get into filling her bubblebutt with cum.
How about a future soldier Anon gets sent to Equestria because of a emgancy escape pod jump from a interplanetary war
>>33398703No conflict unless the war follows him. Anon should be a viewpoint character, not a main character. The distinction is that any sort of internal conflict is unworkable bc anon shouldn't be a character on his own except as an amalgamation of OGR. That's why most anons naturally end up as memelords to some extent. To make a good anon you want to characterize him as little as possible to highlight differences between rgre and ogr. Stories that are highly dependent on internal conflict (PTSD, refugee from a war torn place) dont often work bc too much focus is placed on the ogr character's reaction to things rather than the rgre characters' reaction to him.There are obviously exceptions and it's not a hard rule, but minimizing anon's internal conflicts and instead projecting them into rgre would be better.A better prompt along those lines would be Mulanon as has been posted many times before:>War comes to horse town>Anon wants to volunteer>RGRE insists otherwise>Anon succeeds in tricking pones via amusing references to nipples or pony ignorance or fails and integrates into RGREAnon is a viewpoint character to experience RGRE & allow for OGR/RGRE clashing to occur. This keeps the conflict external and therefore more interesting in regards to the setting. No one wants to read a fic of anon moping for 5k words, that's why most existential breakdowns are either establishing moments or bits of background so we can skip past them and get to sexist horses.I should be asleep
>>33398703Keep /k/ contained.
>>33398703unrelated but was reminded Wasn't there a prompt about a medieval peasant who thought ponies were angels and equestria was heaven?
>>33398874Nah. Weaponry is pretty darn cool.
>>33398880Well, yeah, but not so cool to read. Gunporn with numbers and stats of firearm would be from /k/ommando to /k/ommando only to understand. Another ubersoldaten with theoreticall surviving skills is lame.
Anyone do any good widower Anon stories ever?Either dead wife from Earth, or pony waifu death.Give me the sad feels and healing.
>>33397155For some people this is true.There are also people who use it to describe pony they honestly love and moment later they start talking about how many mares would they fuck if given a chance and how big herd would they make.As a proud waifufag it bothers me lots.
>>33398927>Anon came to Equestria and fell in love with a wonderful mare.>She was shy, and quiet, but once Anon got passed the walls she had put up, she was also very kind.>Friendship blossomed into more from their, quickly growing into something true and beautiful.>They were happy, and even began talking about starting a family.>Only a short few months after tying the knot, however, tragedy struck in the form of a monster attack.>There were were many injuries that day, but only one death.>Afterwards, Anon spiraled into a deep depression, and the whole town of Ponyville worried for him.>Twilight was one of those ponies, and she wished dearly to find a way to help her friend.>In a bid to get his mind off of things, she offered to take him to another world- one where humans not too different from himself resided.>Anon, having nothing else to do, agreed listlessly.>It was interesting to go through the mirror, and bizarre when it changed his body.>Not as drastically as Twilight's, but he was still turned into a teenager.>He only partially listened to the princess as she introduced him to her friends here, and let his eyes wander absently when the tour began.>Until he spotted her, however.>Those colors.>Those hauntingly familiar eyes.>That smile and the sound of her laugh at whatever she was reading from her phone.>The shape was different, but this was clearly his deceased wife.>Or, at least a version of her.>This was Wallflower Blush.>Anon was frozen to the spot.What does he do next?
>>33399065>Kills off the mare version of a character to get with her literal alternate self when you could have done anything else with the prompt.I can usually just ignore the eqg greens but you could have done literally anything else with the prompt and you shoehorn in the mirror for no fucking reason.He literally came from the human world to equestria in the first place, if you wanted a human relationship so badly why not just have his wife die on earth and then find her copy in eqg land when he somehow winds up there.Or have him be a complete normal fag without a pony fetish and have him find the mare copy of his wife in equestria and struggle over the fact she's exactly the same but a pony.Hell, in that latter prompt you could make her a widow with the stallion being exactly the same as Anon but a pony for the added "What the fuck is going on." factor.
>>33390911Good luck coming up with enough of this other neurological stuff to fill a story with. Things like meat cravings are much easier to show and write about than the more vague behavioral examples you've given.
>>33395621You're not even trying to give an accurate telling of that character's reasoning, are you? If you are, and you misread it that badly, then that tells a lot more about you than anyone else.
>>33398894>green scifi>Gunporn with numbers and stats of firearm
>>33399160I like your ideas.
>>33399160I kind of see the ground work for a tragic supervillain.>A man torn from his home latches onto the one thing that gives him sanity and more importantly love>He holds her in his arms as she dies with the heroes being just seconds too late>They feel pity and try to give him a second/third chance but he just sees it as getting rid of a face that isn't smiling in their oh so wondrous land>He rolls with it and finds a copy of the girl he lost>Scared confused and hopeful he approaches her and everything goes well>Until he loses her too only moments before the heroes arrive once again>Stricken by grief and driven nearly to the point of madness Anon devises a plan>He will return to Equestria and make them suffer as he has
>>33399329>not going back to horseland and searching for evil artifact of darkness to bring his love back
>>33399350POINT ME TO THE SKY ABOVEI CAN'T GET THERE ON MY OWNWALK ME TO THE GRAVEYARDDIG UP HER BONES
>>33399329>I kind of see the ground work for a tragic supervillainProblem is, nobody here knows how to write a tragic villain. You either get someone who goes on a rampage for really dumb reasons ("A mare makes a point of holding a door open for Anon. For Anon, this was the last straw.") or it gets solved in less than 5 posts by introducing a waifu and Anon turns into a grumpy parody of his previous self. And they all include edge where Anon kills ponies and the writefag very specifically states he has a blank remorseless face just like his favourite anime.
>>33399350>Anon succeeded in his search for said dark artifact>He succeeded bringing his love back>Both of them>The Wallflowers are left scratching their heads at eachother as Anon holds the staff of dead stuff and wonders if this is a good out come>Sure he didn't know the humie Wallflower as well as the pony one but it still broke his heart to watch his heart to watch her die>And then pony Wallflower was back>The Wallflower that sent him down this road>He couldn't just bring her back and leave with this new one>Nor could he do that to the other one>This must be why necromancy is illegal
>>33399065>What does he do next?Breakdown.It's what I would do if I saw my perfect waifu I planned on starting a family with back from the dead.
>The world leaders of RGRE and RGREQG meet up to discuss things
>>33399456okay but whyand we dont even know who the leaders of eqg arethey certainly fucking arent celestia or luna
>>33399466it's obvious the leader of the eqg world must be an orange woman
>>33399473ORANGE WOMAN BAD!
>>33399466What if they are but they like to work at a school too? At the very least pony Celestia runs her own school. What would pony Luna teach?
>>33399487>"Ruling normally is boring, so I wanna teach these kids instead.">Celestia and Luna are just really eccentric in the EqG universe>"Also because I'm the leader, now nobody can get mad at me if I oogle the male students like the last time I worked at a school."
>>33399495>Celestia and Lunas entire political campaign was just so they could look at the students without getting yelled at>Seriously they weren't even doing anything inappropriate Luna was just trying to give the student his homework back
>>33399507>"I thought he wanted his homework put into his pants through his fly! That's why my hand was there, I swear!"
>>33399511>The pony sisters meet the humie sisters>They laugh at their problems stating that they had dealt with such issues a thousand years ago>Then pony Luna says something about many thousand year old threats returning from old causing Celestia to freeze up>She mumbles something about getting Twilight only for pony Luna to remind her that she's at the sunhat convention>Celestia goes quiet for a moment before asking her counterpart if she can stay with her for awhile
>>33399404So we want Thanos?
>>33399579Movie or comic thanos
>>33396375>adventureLmao. No more adventures for you when you have 3-6 foals to take care.
>>33399731Thus the 'no waifu' part of that post.
>>33399775Pfft. Stallions. The only 'adventures' you 'need' are trips to the spa.
>>33399607Nothing is more tragic than comic Thanos. His motivation is just to have Death senpai top notice him.
>>33399404I admit I have edgy tendencies but I can’t help but agree. It’s less tragic and more autism when the reason for Anon going bad is shallow. Plus cute poners don’t deserve death.
>>33399797That sounds more like what a stallion would say to Anon more than a mare. It has less of a condescending attitude and more of the dismissive air of someone who's already gone through that experience and already knows better. Like, Anon has found himself in a brand new land and wants to see the cities and camp in the forests, and maybe his marefriend even wants to go with him. But then her father shows up and he's all "Oh I've had this adventurer streak already in my life and honey it's just a phase". Anon just wants to see Los Pegasus, but this stallion scoffs and tries to drag him off to a spa. Probably while asking him when he's going to give him grandfoals to play with.
>>33399850>wanting to go see major citiesFuck no, fuck that. I'm talking shit like this.
>>33399859I like to think I'd get there eventually, but I'd want to see pony cities first. Pony ruins are fun, but I'm personally here for the adorable horses first and foremost. It would be rad, but it would be lower down on my priority list.
>>33399797>>33399850"C'mon, mister Dash-">Rainbow's Dad giggles - FUCKING GIGGLES - into a hoof.>"Oh, please, just call me Hothoof. As much as I'd love to share a name with my amazing daughter-">Behind you, in a completely different room, you can hear your marefriend moan miserably.>"-I feel like my future son-in-law shouldn't be on such a formal basis with his future father-in-law.">...what."Woah, hey," you stammer, suddenly fighting a blush that wasn't there a split second ago, "Nobody said anything about marriage!">Oh man>Oh jeez>Where did this come from?>Does he know something you don't?!>Hothoof laughs again and nudges your leg with his forehoof>"Don't be so shy, Anon! If there's a hoo-man stallion out there who's awesome enough to attract the attention of my daughter, then I have no reason to believe that you're the perfect match for my daughter.">Fucking...>"So if Rainbow decides to take you out for a nice dinner in the near future...""Okay, just...">You wish he would go back to talking about going to the spa with him.
>>33400075>>"Don't be so shy, Anon! If there's a hoo-man stallion out there who's awesome enough to attract the attention of my daughter, then I have no reason to believe that you're the perfect match for my daughter."niggertits.> then I have no reason to believe that you're NOT the perfect match for my daughter.
>>33392435>>33392442those are called faggots>does that make me a human too?
Who would be the RGRE version of The Gigachad?
>>33400215The closest I can think of is Cadance, except she won't go around stealing stallions.
>>33400226>Alt universe Cadence who makes Trixie Lightningcunts look like uncomfortable nerdy virgins
>In the past between Luna's banishment and her return, Anon was Celestia's friend-turned-lover.>However, to defeat some great evil from killing Sun Butt and throwing Equestria in a shitstorm, he basically pulled an hero.>Knocked Celestia out so he could sacrifice himself to defeat the Big Bad, not her.>She awakens just in time to see him smile sadly at her before it happens.>However, he didn't die.>It was worse.>It broke his sanity, twisted him, and wiped his memory of what he had with Celestia.>One Bad Day.>Unable to bring herself to kill him, she mournfully locked him away under Canterlot.>Visits were first daily; then monthly; then yearly as it hurt her too much to see him.>Ages pass.>Canterlot Wedding happens, and Twilight and Cadence find him.>Pulls the ''prince in distress'' thing, bullshitting that the changelings imprisoned him too.>Despite their feeling something isn't right, they release him.>After managing to get back to the ceremony, Celestia is horrified when Anon announces, ''Honey, I'm home!''>Then proceeds to go Joker on Chrysalis' ass.>Celestia,however, is surprised her batshit beau didn't hurt her or the other ponies before he escaped.>Hope reignites, and she wonders if the Elements could heal him.>Meanwhile, Anon finds himself moving north.>He kills a reforming Sombra with a brick to the back of the head.>An entire culture of ponies that are monogamous and have human-like gender-roles!>How fun!
>>33400226Thats what she wants you to think. Its actually her daughter who is the giga chad. Flurry has already broken the most powerful magical heart in existence already. Colt hearts will be a piece of cake to scoop up.
>>33400235>Harlequin Fleur>Joker AnonThis could work.
>>33400271>Not Joker Fleur & Harlequin Anon
>>33400275On the one hand, Fleur wondering where he pulled his hammer from without magic would be hilarious and match with Harley.On the other, Fleur saying, ''Gotcha, Mister A!'' in a Canterlot accent, and making a mallet out of magic above her horn would be cool, too.
>>33400267>Teenaged Flurry>Anon is brought in to foal-sit her at recommendation of Celestia>"He's an odd duck, you know. All the other stallion sitters we've gotten all run off, but my human friend here might be able to help you.">If Anon can put up with Celestia's non-stop playful flirting and is decent enough to make friends with the reclusive Luna, then surely he can put up with Flurry Heart>Pic related: It's Flurry "Cock Destroyer" Heart
>>33400260this sounds interesting. cont?
>>33397521>a serious polyamorous relationship with them.Not that Anon. Sounds like you get it. Group members love, care for and support each other through whatever comes their way.
>>33400260So basically Discord if he were more murderous and violent.
>>33400267That's going to be her cutie mark isn't it? She's going to come home to her parents one day and try to sneak away, only for Shining to call her back. He'll see a massive horse dick stamped on his little girls flank and start screaming and yelling about how he thought he raised her better as Cadance slips her a sip of cider when Shining isn't looking.
>>33400311Bro, the Joker makes Discord look like a girl-scout. He's a fucking nut.
>>33400311Joker once cut his face of so he could wear it like a mask, discord is a joke compared to his insanity
>>33400325>>33400333No shit, Discord is a pg-13 little girl friendly character.
>>33400260>>One Bad Day.hands down the best line any joker incarnation has ever given, mostly because it's true. all it ever takes to turn a nobody into a nightmare is one bad day
>>33400376Makes me think about all of the alone and miserable men that keep getting fucked by the system.That's one hell of a ticking timebomb. state and government officials can barely handle one or two rampaging men with nothing to lose let alone the millions just waiting for their chance.Crazy to think about the wild times waiting just around the corner, what a time to be alive.
>>33400390no kidding. i think if it all comes tumbling down again we're gonna see parts of humanity sink lower than it ever has before, BUT we will also see beacons of light shining defiantly against the dark. but enough of such grim talk, have some qt pones
>>33400409What about pones being cute and grim at the same time?
>>33400412damn yin/yang aesthetics, why must opposites attract and work so well?
>>33400415We look for light in the dark or shadows in the light. When the two are portrayed clearly, our mind accepts it for what it is and doesn't try to dig deeper.Or some BS like that I'm not a psychologist.
>>33400231>Giga-Trixie Cadence AU>never fell in love with Shining and thus never learned not to treat stallions like toys, despite how much Celestia tried otherwise>she’s a serial stallionizer and kind of an embarrassment to the Royal Family>she isn’t actively malicious, but she has an overblown sense of entitlement to any stallion she wants as the Princess of Love>it doesn’t help that she’s charismatic enough to appeal to the ‘bad filly’ loving percentage of stallions>the only reason she doesn’t have bastard foals running around everywhere is that she’s at least smart enough to use birth control spells>Enter Anon>immediately piques Cadence’s interest as the only male of a species she HASN’T fucked. >Celestia swoops in and tries to block her by warning him about her reputation.>Cadence shrugs, that just makes it more of a challenge >she’s cracked males her aunt has warned before >except she’s surprised when Anon responds with more outright disdain towards her than the most bitter of her exes!>she hasn’t even gotten a chance to do anything yet!>Cadence is at a loss on how to respond
>>33400275What happened to the supervillain Anon story and the Harlequin Anon story from a while ago?
>>33400465>Luna pats Cadence on the head>"We *didst* tell thee that males of this era like not a mare-whore."
>>33400275>Joker FleurWhich Joker? Because if this is Jared Leto Joker then you can fuck right the fuck off.
>>33400465>This Anon.Bonus points if he gets with hyper-virgin Moondancer for the ultimate teat-twisting.
>>33400487We're obviously talking about Hamill Joker here a.k.a the best one
>>33398821>>33400435I agree, underrated post.
>>33400489>Cadence sees Anon hooking up with turbo-virgin cums-immediately-after-being-penetrated Moondancer>Wonders what Moondancer has that she doesn't>Takes a look at herself for the first time in years>Story ends with Cadence having a change of heart and making a genuine effort to improve herself despite her THOTness>It's not just "fuck whore horse" for 80 postsI'd read it.
>>33400516Oh man, I could drown in the fluff.
Rarity's a mare who haven't gotten much love lately. I like her whether she's a hat-tipping tuft-beard gentlemare, or if she's a genuinely suave mare who sweeps Anon off his feet. I'd be weak to this horse.
>>33400531>Edgy teen batmare has no idea how to show her affection for you so she just acts like a flustered hardass.
>>33400465> Twilight completely ignores magic, aside from basic levitation and focuses on inventing mechanical solutions> Rarity carefully hoards every bit, charging a fortune for her magnificent dresses> Pinkie Pie throws loud and wild parties, pressuring the guest of honor to drink tons of alcohol, and they rarely remember the night before> Applejack will say anything to sell apples and keep the Apple family successful> Rainbow Dash uses her speed to prank friends and strangers, often stealing food and items of clothing> Fluttershy traps every animal she sees in a cage, keeping them in an increasingly filthy room in her home
>>33400516>>33400531>Being pressed against the softness of her fluff is enough to make any stallion instantly pop out of his sheath.>The scent of her is enough to get any male throbbing at full attention in mere moments.>No colt has lasted more than a few minutes in her embrace.
>>33400570I mean the Sonic Rainboom would probably still happen assuming no Glimmer Shenanigans, Twilight would just never have been babysat by Cadence. In fact considering how frequently Twi is portrayed as a sunhat tipper she and Giga-Trixie Cadence would probably hate each other.
>>33400578>you will never mark your waifu by cumming on her fluff
>>33400588I was more parodying how Cadance's talent is love, but she is completely focused on the shallowest form of love, for purely selfish reasons.
>>33400573TUFT>>33400590Enjoy your vacation anon.
>>33400590>Mare's proud>Struts around town>Superior pony sense of smell means everypony can smell her>"Yeah, I got laid. He even came all over my tuft. Think you can top that? 'Cuz you CAN'T top that. Maybe when I get home I'll suck his dick and then he'll ride me for MORE THAN 30 SECONDS, unlike your stallions."
>>33400628>Enjoy your vacation anon.There is nothing rulebreaking in that post.
>>33400636Hm, true, i'm blind.
>>33400636He's just trying to be nice. Maybe he knows that Anon in real life and knows he's about to take a few days off from work to play vidya, get drunk, and post horses.
>>33400636I've gotten banned for less
>>33400636He's probably that retarded little shit that popped up last thread to try and get the OP pic deleted.
>>33400628princess tuft, how can marelets even compete?
>>33400671I guess you can say her tuft is out of this world.
>>33400678I want a moon horse who uses puns. She could ask Anon if those are moon pants, because his ass is allegedly out of this world.>"And also a simple spell will allow me to banish them to the moon, thus making them actual moon pants. And it would also let me look at your phallus."
True fact: Pegasi have the best tuft because they puff that shit up like a bird.
Former pegasus here. Can confirm,
>>33400727>"O-Oh, this? It's just my chest tuft. It's n-nothing to get excited about, r-right?"Fluttershy has best tuft. Most comfy snuggles. Top wife.>>33400730Rainbow Dash too. Birdherd for life.
>>33400678>>33400686I knew showing her the Magic School Bus was a mistake
>All this tuft.
>Under Canterlot, in the deepest, most caverns, hidden by spells and ingenious craftsmanship, was a room>It was a small, spartan room, with just a few chairs and a table>This room had been built hundreds of years ago>On record, it also didn't exist>Even off the record, it was known to only a select few, and those that were privileged to know of it had spells woven into their tongues, making sure that they'd never to able to write or speak of it >At that moment, the room was illuminated by an orb of magical light>It hovered in the center of the table, lighting all of the figures sitting around it>These figures were Equus's leaders>The Queen of the Hippogriffs, the Countess of the Diamond Dog Clans, The Warlord of the Minotaurs, Princess Celestia herself, among others>There were some noticable exceptions; the leaders of the Changelings and the Yaks were absent, as they had been for centuries>Each woman had a stack of binders sitting in front of her>Some looked worried, some looked thoughtful, others looked amused>These few women were the most powerful people on the planet>It was through their actions the world was shaped, as had been the norm for their forebearers since the dawn of civilization>But a new event had threatened this >A new world>Their positions could be threatened, Equus being thrown into chaos>Or, perhaps, there was an opportunity?>Celestia leaned back into her chair"As I'm sure you all know by now, my sister and I spoke to some of the U.N. representatives. They were even kind enough to show us around a city called "New York"," she said, opening up a binder. "It was an interesting experience, though the ones that my intelligence were able to acquire was much more fruitful.">She snapped her fingers, the sound humming with magic>The light orb morphed into a series of pictures
>>33400695>Celestia didn't think much of her neck piece in her early days>She was a young ruler and had too much else to deal with>Plus it was kind of comfy despite the weight>It wasn't till a hundred years later that she realized it was causing her problems by squishing her tuft>Regular combing or maintenance wouldn't help restore the royal floof, she'd have to go around for long periods of time for it to start fluffing up again>Periods of time where other ponies could see their absolutely tuftless princess>Deciding to forego the shame and mockery Celestia just ordered a lighter neck piece and hoped for the best down the line>Maybe she'd find a stallion some day who didn't care about tuft
>>33400799>Some were of people, some of buildings, what looked like a military base, books, odd machines"I have so much information that it would take months to sort it all--and that's just the tip of the iceberg-- but I can say with certanty we are dealing with a technologically advanced, magically-void race.">The Warlord of the Minotaurs, a giant of a woman, with a pair of large, onxy-black horns, grunted>"Aye. Somethin'about 'em havin' weapons that break the 'ound barrier, right?">Celestia nodded"That and much more. From what I've been told, many of their works are very hazardous, especially to their enviroment.">"That's because they let their men run things," the Sultana of Saddle Arabia said. "Only a fool would continue to allow their ozone to disintegrate as it is.">The room erupted in noises of aggreement>"You'd think their woman would show more sense.">"Look at what happened with Sombra.">"Something should be done about it.">Celestia allowed the grumbling to continue for a few moments more before raising a hand>The women quieted down, staring at her"I will be very frank with you, ladies, I am not certain the course of action that should be taken here. A war is one thing, as is daemons from Tartarus erupting from its gates to threaten our way of life, but this is another matter entirely.">"We'll have to play it by the ear, dears," The hippogriff queen said. "From what I hear tell they're a war-like race, and I don't know about you but I wouldn't want a slight turn into a war between wars.">Many of the women agreed, though the Minotaur Warlord seemed to wish to argue>The Lady of the Gryphons, who had been quiet until now--just thoughtfully stroking her chin-- spoke up>"Ladies, I see a very real opportunity here.">She opened up of the binders, tapping a finger against a page
>>33400801>"Since the Council of Ladies was created one of our main goals was to find a solution to the damage that Triek and Grogar's magic caused so long ago.">A chill swept the room>Looks were exchanged, some women made hand signs to ward off evil>Celestia rested her elbows on the table, closing her eyes as a look of sorrow crossed her features>"Were it not for them all of the races wouldn't be cursed. We wouldn't see our numbers declining every year because there's simply less and less men being born," the Lady of the Gryphons continued. "Our forebearers did what they could, with little impact. If things continue all of us will fade into memory.">She looked around the room, at the downcast gazes of the women around her>She then shrugged, a smile teasing the corners of her lips>"But the men on earth were never cursed. They're perfectly fine from what I understand. I've also been told that there's quite a few of them. Too many of them in some places.">As one, the leaders of Equus looked up>The Warlord of the Minotaurs stood up, a grin coming to her face>"Bet they wouldn't mind us takin' a could then, eh?"
>>33400804ayooooostill wouldnt be taken without a fightits the principle of it
>>33400804>tfw they unestimated the lewdness of men
>>33400804>>33400827>tfw fight it out and wrestle with your Equestrian gf because she's the dominant gender back on her planet>tfw you could actually have fun fights for dominance every night without her throwing a fit or accidentally hurting her
>>33400840>Wrestling usually gets out of hand and both of you end up bruised>Other Equestrians start to give her looks and whisper under her breath that she's a man beater>Say fuck it and take her back to Earth>Now everyone is giving you looks and calling you a woman beater>tfw the two of you just wanted to wrestle
>>33400849>both end up battered and bruised from your fighting and wrestling>end up even more so after the primal fucking afterwards
>>33400804Exactly how far back technologically are the Equestrians? Do they have a shotgun to defend their land or do they need to grab a sword?
>>33400851>Applejack is incredibly upset when Anon starts to date>She has a crush on him, but cannot face it>She also cannot lie, so this distress coming from Anon fucking not-her manifests in an apparent disgust at the idea of mares fucking Anon>Specifically, mares who are not Applejack fucking Anon>She acts all disgusted when she sees a mare walking along with Anon, but everypony can tell she's just trying to fight against a crush>"I can't believe that Strawberry Sunrise. If it wasn't bad enough she sells inferior fruit at a high price, now she's a m-monkey fucker! I bet that's how she got him, too! She promised that poor, naive fool all the fruit he could eat if he just went down on her! What a despicable mare.">It's only a matter of time before she confronts Anon (sexually)
>>33400804Why can we have this, but not the leaders of RGRE and RGREqG interacting?
>>33400901Because there are faggots amongst us who only seem to like humans for some reason.
>>33400925For the record I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.I'll put my dick into anyone that will let me
>Tfw I won't be able to surprise principal celestia and ask her for anal one dayIt hurts lads
>>33400944>>33400943>ywn be dragged into the band room to eat out captain Trixie
^ < > ^ < >
>>33400943Got a link to the full image?
>>33400901So as another post said earlier: who are the leaders of RGREqG? For the leaders of both sides to meet you'd need a decent bit of world building to establish who these characters are before the story even starts. You'd also need to create multiple OCs as main characters and that's hard to do properly. Not to mention some people would argue it shouldn't be done but that's another tangent.Finally we have the most important question: why. Why are the royal sisters meeting these people and why should we pay attention to that instead of poners or whatever?If you want to try to write it I'll read it, but don't throw shit around and demand people make something for you.
>>33400964Best theme.Best ship.
>>33400964>Link somehow runs faster like thiswhat
>>33400964>>33400989This is why I like that prompt we had a while back. Horse-owner Anon goes to Equestria, his horse comes along, and she's turned into an Equestrian mare. Usually larger than average, and she remembers her time with Anon back on Earth.>"He's a little slow, but he always finds the freshest oats and the crunchiest apples for me.">"Also, back off. He's mine."
>>33400989Plot twist: Link still can’t talk, and needs the now-sentient Epona to help him through the day in RGRE.
>>33401025>>33401016As long as he's actually mute, and not the meme "Talks through yells and grunts." people tend to use.>She's so in-sync with him that she only needs minor gestures and body language to both read his mood and figure out when he wants something.I know what i said about the memes but i just had the idea of a mute Vinyl and Link having music battles and it's cute as hell in my head.
>>33401025Even bigger plot twist. Equestria is actually Hyrule far far into the future when all traces of humanity and Hylians have vanished. That's why there was a Link pony in the show and artifacts like pic related lying around.
>>33401055>>33401016>As long as he's actually mute"Don't call me 'slow', you.">"Well, what else am I supposed to call you? Whenever I wanna play and have you chase me, you run so slowly!"
I'm not even a fan of Legends of LINK, but it fits well enough with cute adventure that I'd be willing to read just about any fics with Epona.
>>33401056It's clearly the link from majora's mask who took a wrong turn in the lost woods with epona after that whole fiasco.>Stumbles through another dimensional rift.>Ends up in the everfree with a now talking epona.>Heals a depressed ancient pone spirit, pony mask get.>Epona manages to convince him to give up on that THOT navi.>He settles down in ponyville, raids the diamond dog mine for gems to sell to Rarity.
>>33401016Make him mute and epona is the only one who knows his sign language. They find BOTW link absolutely adorable
>>33401113>sign language>Not [Link noises]
>>33401192>Link isn't entirely mute, but he can't produce the sounds needed to make words>Thus he communicates mostly with grunts of varying depth>Epona's gotten good at figuring out what type of grunt means what
>>33395638Another Anon here to say thanks for the share. That was pretty good. Shame it hasn't continued.
>>33400799>humanizedits bad and you should feel bad for having writen it
>>33401195>"See? This is why I said my hylian was slow; he never once attempted to learn how to write so that he could communicate complex ideas."
>>33401305>Implying that hylian's have a writing system>Implying that said writing system is in-depth>Implying that writing system is easily available>Implying Link had access to the learning instruments necessary to learn it>Implying their writing systems are the same>Implying their society would allow him easy access to writing utensils and something to write on at any given time
>>33401316Anon, stop making excuses for him. He's never going to try and improve himself if you never give him a reason to.
>>33401318>>33401316To be fair to OOT/MM link, he was literally raised by forest spirits, fairies and a giant talking tree.Learning to write probably wasn't high on the list of things to teach.
>>33401337I know, but there are even signs in Kokiri Forest. Maybe Mido never thought it was worth teaching Link anything, but you can't tell me that Saria never thought of at least trying. He probably knows his numbers, at least....oh man, I was about to say "well if you go to the Temple of Time, Link very specifically reads the inscriptions that talks about bringing the spiritual stones." But then I remembered that the text box ends with "That's what it reads." so what if Navi has just been reading all this shit to him out loud this entire time? And as soon as he gets into Termina, he has ANOTHER fairy he encounters before the first opportunity to read anything! Oh fuck, Link can't read for shit!
>>33401099>Link is a "normal" sized pony stallion>Epona is the size of Trouble Shoes>He can only grunt who makes mares think he's special>"Hey there cutie, where are you going with those gems? need a mare to take care of y-">A hard stare from Epona drives the mare away
>>33401350>The mare grumbles as she walks away>"Yeah, yeah, don't let me stop you from taking care of the mute basket case.">The mare opens her eyes and finds herself in a hospital bed
>people talking about if Link can read>when the games main method of direction was signs in the road, ground, etc>which Link had to read
>>33401363He's got a fairy who can't shut her yap, doesn't he?
>>33401363Literally addressed here >>33401349Navi reads everything for him.
>>33401363>>33401369this>>33401349We learned a new thing here in RGRE
>>33394304>Amazonian Applejack and Gilda awkwardly trying to court you; ends with them happy and carrying you aroundRight in the feels and fetish
>>33401349>When something interesting like a sign is nearby Navi always floats above it. Selecting it from a distance also requires Navi. There was never a time that Link didn't have Navi except near the end of the game. >It's possible Mido bullied Link for not being able to read.Holy shit guys I think we're onto something here.
>>33401425Has /v, /vg/ or /vr/ thought of this idea? That Link is illiterate and requires that damn fairy to read shit for him?
>>33401425>PossibleYou know for sure that little shit did exactly that.Oh fuck, my heart.>Twilight teaching Link how to read and write.
>>33401361>Link gives Rarity her weekly shipment of jewels>"Thanks Darling!, it's so sweet for you to carry your wives merchandise, how does she make out with all this loot while avoiding those Pesky Diamond dogs I'll never know... w-what's this darling?">Holds a still fresh beating hearth>Link picks it and eats it in front of her which makes his health counter go up
>>33401437>>Holds a still fresh beating hearth>hearth>"...darling, where did you find that fireplace, and how in the world are you holding it?"
>>33401361anon, generally the response to an insult is to escalate the argument, THEN get into a fight, not insult into immediate hospitalization. also if one party is bigger and obviously likely to win in a fight it's usually the onus of the big guy/mare for you to give the little guy/mare a chance to back down before getting his ass handed to him>"What did you just say?">>"[second generic insult]">"Mare you better back off before I make you back off.">overconfident mare pushes her luck>gets bucked into a trash can for her trouble>witnesses report the small mare was asking for it and using fighting words, absolving Epona of any possibility of assault chargesprompt was a little weak but just needed a bit of tweaking>>33401442>Discord happens to float by>"I had nothing to do with that for once. Also if the ponice ask I had absolutely nothing to do with placing random gemstones and a parasprite inside pottery around Ponyville.
>>33401453Anon is the concept of a sucker punch completely foreign to you?
>>33401453>anon, generally the response to an insult is to escalate the argument, THEN get into a fight, not insult into immediate hospitalizationTo be fair, Epona is a horse and she probably isn't too up-and-up on social conventions. She's probably working more on instincts than anything else at this point.
>>33401461it's not foreign, but i find it morally unacceptable, especially in the situation described where epona is both bigger and stronger than the mare doing the insulting>>33401462>epona still has horse instincts kicking (hue) around in her headeh, I can get behind it but still don't like it, just seems like a cheap cop out to me
>>33401467>eh, I can get behind it but still don't like it, just seems like a cheap cop out to meI'm not saying it's right or that I think it's the appropriate level of response for an insult, I'm just saying her thought process is still pretty simple early on.>Have mate>Other mare - possible rival! - is exhibiting threatening behaviour towards mate>Mate is in danger!>Remove danger from area.>Still have mate>HappyHorse.neigh
>>33401474>early onalright I can see that; she could still adjusting to having a sapient intellect and having to actually follow a society's rules and expectations
This is a very pretty horse. You should let her take you out to a very nice dinner.Be a gentlemen during the date, and if her hoof "accidentally" brushes against your butt accept it with grace and nobility
>>33401488 (heil)god damnit captainpudgemuffin really is trying to kill us all. isn't that cuteness regulated under the geneva conventions or something?
>>33401488Could you image smooching that horse? I bet she'd giggle if you did that and tickled her horn
>>33401350>>33401361>>33401488>Link wants to work and not feel useless>The Princesses took all his swords and "dangerous" items, diamond dogs moved away, no dangerous monsters or quests to go on, no one wants a colt for farming>Only work he could find is to model clothes for Rarity or accept the social security for Colts>"Which one do you like better darling? I think this one accentuates your bal-... testes better">"Hyet..." (pic related)
>ywn be dragged home by this unit of a earth tribe girl>ywn be completely encouraged to snuggle her and get the scent of her tits all over you
>>33401488>Sleepy Rarara Purr NoisesI choose to believe that the unicorn's racial quirk is that they purr like cats when they're especially content. Oh fuck I would be a slut for snuggling if I ever went to Equestria and found this out.
>>33401488>>33401510>you will never tickle her squishy bits
>>33401516Why does she have a tail?Is there something you want to share with the class, Anonymous?
>>33401540The tail is just her natural sign of being a member of the earth tribe.
>>33401526If pegasi are almost birbs, then unicorns are almost cats.>Too smart and curious for their own good.>Have small, dainty, dexterous hooves.>Very flexible.>Soft and smooshy bodies.>The most tactile of ponies. Almost compulsively rubs their scent on loved ones. >Thickest and plushest coats of the 3 pony types.>Prone to sometimes being an asshole or antagonistic, mostly on accident.>Very keen on being clean. >Urge to boop and bap whatever touches their belly.>Bouts of silliness if idle for too long.>Can even purr thanks to an evolutionary quirk.Earth ponies are extra horsey and alicorns don't have any of the traits of the 3 tribes. They've evolved beyond it.
>>33401549>That spoilerIs a fucking lie, they are geese.
>>33401516>tfw tribe women are super strong and powerful>So strong and powerful that their skin is largely bulletproof>Armor piercing can usually penetrate their flesh, but nine times outta ten the bullet will bounce off their harder than steel bones>You actually met Appul when you tried to shoot her in the head with a 9mm>The fucker barely made her head snap back>You shot her three more times before she gently but firmly took the gun from you, crushed it like it was made of tin foil, picked you up and walked away from the battlefield>Now you're a house husband on an apple farm, surrounded by super humans that break into song for no reason
>>33401561nigga that dumb
>>33401561.....is she Goku now?
>>33401563Since she can conically lift small mountains pretty much
>>33401563>Anon can fly and shoot KI ballZ fighter anon in equestria when?
>>33401542>>33401561>>33401563So does that mean that on full moons she becomes a giant horse?
>>33401573Anon would probably be yamcha
>>33401549I always loved the catpone thing.
>>33400875That shield triggers my autism Anon, just why oh why would the shield have those spokes of the stem and twig on the shield itself? It'd stab her in the eyes man!
>>33401628just don't put it in your eyes
>>33401640Yeah, stupid, that's not where the apple parts go. Shields PROTECT you, not HURT you, dummy.
>>33401561>Other kidnapped /k/ommando Anons are frustrated that their guns don't work>They start building their own guns from scrap>They end up generating a field within the already existing magical field that allows their guns to bee much more effective>This field also effects the anons speech patterns>This doesn't make them deadly, more like oversized rubber bullet shooting piles of scrap held together by faith, spit and duct tape>These guns only work in the /k/ field and must be made from metal exposed to the natural magic field>The /k/ommandos form a tribe lead by the biggest /k/ommando>The Amazonian tribes find out that while catching a male from this tribe is difficult, they make the best husband's>This tribe always announces it's arrival by a bowel voiding war cry"WAAAAAAAGH!!"
>>33401640What happens when she has to defend herself, if she isn't careful then the force sent into the shield will kick it up into her face and it could stab her eyes out.
>>33401672 >Oversized rubber bullet shootersNigga what? Are you saying the guns are used as a deterrent or that the guns are shit?
>>33401672kek why does it always come back to Warhammer?
What’s your favorite long running LaP green? Mine is the Dazzling Pack.
>>33401726That, Poor Little Human Boys, or the Squire Anon with the thirsty masochist cowgirl.
>>33401726I really like the namesake "Love and Powerlifting". https://pastebin.com/dceXJBTF
>>33401732Ooooh, yeah, that is a good one, Butt Judging is also up there.
>>33401692Because of how over the top it is
>>33401748I am still mad that Sunset was made a slut for no reason in that story.
>>33401692The shoe fits.
>>33401692Because it takes itself so seriously you can do many funny things with it.
>>33401764>I from table o contentsamazing how a silly joke from 2012 can still get a chuckle out of me
>>33401764What time is it?
>>33401748>Golden OpportunitiesWhat was that one about?
new thread because fuck you babe :3>>33401769>>33401769
>>33401777trips wills it
>>33401771Why do you ask?
>>33401774twi comes to rgre and she picks up anon with sunset
>>33400892Where's that strawberry sunrise story where she basically talks anon into her house and couch after seeing him walking by with some apples?
>>33401862https://pastebin.com/QFitt2U8Search for strawberry sunrise and it'll be that snippet.
>>33401672>or/k/s I always thought of /k/ommandos as orks
>>33401672somehow has me thinking of pic related
>>33398703>>33398821>>33398874 maybe the anon has to deal with PTSD and the ponies don't really know how to handle it
>>33401628 the fact that she only has the botton half of her helmet and no chain under her plate triggers mine
Should dash like the Blue Angles?
>>33402080wait...i thought The Empire of mankind hated the greenskins
>>33400799>U.N. representing humanityThe U.N is held together with duct tape as it is. Would make more sense if it was just the U.S. or NATO or something
>>33402080>da Emprah's greenestkek
>>33402780>U.N.As much as I had hoped and belived in the ideals of a U.N. type body; what's there now is disappointing. As to your suggestion; I'd imagine NATO though an idealized U.N./NATO thing would be better.