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Last Thread >>33286632

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>>
>>33260023
>`You cannot be serious!` Vegter oh-so-toughly says to that one alchemist mare blocking the way. `His friend is in there!`
>`None may disturb Heerser while he speaks to that... outsider.`
>Yeesh, they still don't care for the guy, huh?
>`But--`
>`I will not skirt my duties,` she continues, before adopting a sideways smirk. `Not even for one as handsome as you.`
>Well, guess there's a limit to the dude's Chad powers after all.
>Maybe you'll have better luck?
`You sure we cannot get in? Poor guy probably misses me!`
>Well you definitely have surprise on your side, if her look was anything to go by.
>`N-no,` she says after recomposing herself. `I am under strict orders to--`
>`Great ancestors,` calls an all-too-familiar voice from behind the guard. `Do my ears deceive me?`
>The guard immediately shuffles out of the way, looks back down the passageway, and throws up what you assume is the zeeb version of a salute, her left hoof hitting her chest and remaining there.
>And who else would she be saluting than her leader figure, Mr. Heerser?
"'None may disturb you'? What, you two working on nukes in there or something?"
>"I'm sorry, 'nukes'?"
"Ehh, y'know what, forget I said anything. How've you been, man?"
>"Oh, quite productive! Our forces are on heightened alert after the little debacle in Grens, and it spooked the alchemists enough to have them deploy the Ancients!"
"Uhh, 'Ancients'?"
>"Do you recall that golem you fought upon first coming here?"
"Yeah-- Wait, you've got more of those things?!"
>"Oh, that one you fought was dilapidated, only suited to executions by that point. We keep a small force of much stronger ones here."
"Oh Jesus."
>"Did you ever wonder why our tribe established the fortress of Vesting as our home, instead of remaining the same wandering nomads as our neighbour tribes? That is the work of the Ancients. The masterpieces of our ancestral alchemists, made to protect their kin long after their own demise."
>Uh, wow.
>>
>>33297514
>"Every bit as dangerous as you would expect, of course. But I find the deterrence they offer to be of greater long term value."
"Guess nobody wants to attack the guys with the giant golems, huh?"
>"Indeed! Sadly, they aren't terribly agile. Otherwise, we'd be bringing them with us into battle all the time, rather than relegating them to guardians!"
>More like they'd rip themselves apart if they tried to go faster, if that last one was anything to go by.
>Still, holy shit!
>"I cannot say for sure how they will stack up to the Destroyer's abominations, but I pray we don't need to find out."
"No kidding."
>"Ahh, but enough about our standing forces! You must be here to see your companion, yes?"
"Sure am."
>"Well by all means, come in! I'll let him explain his progress!"
>Well, that went well.
>Your little group files into this well-guarded building, with Heerser following along beside you.
>`So,` he smiles your way, `I take it that little Zala was an excellent teacher?`
"How the hell--?"
>`Ah-ah-ah, no Equestrian.`
>This fucking guy.
`How did you know?`
>`Why, you just told me.`
>Oh, this fucking guy.
>`But in all seriousness, that little one has such a distinct way of speaking. You picked some of those habits of hers right up, even if your grasp is still somewhat rough around the edges.`
`She is a good teacher.`
>`That she is! In fact, wasn't that one of her aspirations in life, Vegter?`
>`Hahahah! That right! She wants to teach the foals!`
>`A noble goal if there ever was one. Of course,` he continues, shooting Vegter a mischievous smile of his own, `She's had an awful lot of practice in that regard, hasn't she?`
>`Hahahah! Yes, she does-- Hey! Wait!`
>Pfffffft.
>Nope, no holding in that laughter.
>`Agh! Hate you two!`
>`Just having a little fun, Vegter. You know I mean nothing by it.`
>`What about Otherworldly Anonymous?!`
`Sorry not sorry.`
>>
>>33297524
>`Am going to enjoy drinking you under the table tonight!`
`You are welcome to try,` you shoot back with a smirk of your own.
>`Goodness,` Heerser continues, `I hope this isn't bringing up any bad habits, Otherworldly Anonymous.`
`Only the best habits.`
>`Oh?`
`Nobody out-drinks Anon.`
>`Is that right?` he says, his smirk now pointed your way. `I daresay I find that boast a little lacking in substance.`
`A princess could not drink more than me.`
>`Well, seeing how I've never seen a princess drink at all, I'm afraid your boast remains lacking.`
`Are you trying to get in on this?`
>`Oh, it's been so long since I've had anyzebra challenge me to a drinking game. Anyhuman, however? That may just be a once in a lifetime experience.`
>Man, Vegter's just hanging back with the kind of look that screams 'mom get the camera'.
>`Otherworldly Anonymous? Y-you want to challenge him?` the zeeb in question asks.
`Was not going to. But a great idea!`
>"Oh for the love of Epona, could you tailholes not leave me out like this?"
>Oh whoops, you kinda forgot Razor was there for a moment.
"Sorry, bud."
>"He was simply challenging me to a drinking game," Heerser reiterates, never losing that smirk. "Though we never did discuss the terms of your surrender."
"Right back at you."
>"Incidentally, watch your language, Uncouth Razor Wind."
>"Whatever. If you're planning on drinking him under the table, you're gonna have a huge fight on your hooves."
"Don't spoil the surprise for him."
>"Pffft, fine."
>"Perhaps we can discuss the terms of your surrender after you speak to your friend? Here he is, right now."
>Oh shit, when did you get to this big open room?
>Sitting in the middle was that weird-ass invisibility crystal and none other than Exact, his eyes and magic glued to it.
>The alchemists hanging around in the room were keeping their distance, though whether that was because of the crystal or Exact was still an open question.
>>
>>33297532
"Hey there, buddy! What's happening?"
>"Good evening, Anon," he says without looking your way. "You appear to be in high spirits."
"You could say that. How're you making out there?"
>"I am nearing completion of my work in identifying the unique arcane properties utilized by this construct."
"That right? How's the asshole pulling it off?"
>"Oh for Elysium's sake, mind your language!"
>"This is a very strange construct, insofar as dark magic is concerned. The marriage of blood magic, soulbending and runesmithing is standard for Incognito's modus operandi, but it is very unusual for dark magic constructs of any kind to actively suppress corrupting the mana systems of those within it's influence."
"Yeah, you mentioned that back out there. I was more taking about the invisibility part of it, though."
>"It utilizes a trapped soul in combination with complex auspex rune arrays and contact sensory arrays to create a real-time visualization of the area under the construct's effect. Once it has mapped out the objects it must conceal, it creates a high-complexity real-time illusion projected upon the outer surface of the spherical area of effect, which--"
"Tells people what they should see, instead of what they do see?"
>"Yes. However, some questions remain about it's ability to detect and thusly conceal iron."
"I was wondering about that myself. Sounds like something I could reuse down the line."
>"It does have a significant array of applications that would be of aid to you."
"Anything I can lend a hand with?"
>"The offer is appreciated, but you are unlikely to be of assistance without your thaumaturgical magic detection lenses."
>Figured as much, but it was worth a shot.
>>
>>33297540
"Well, I'm guessing if you're looking at the manastatic displacement harmonics, you must be focused more on defeating the concealment than figuring out it's exact function, right?"
>"Correct. Once the illusory refraction characteristics have been calculated correctly, it is simple enough to relate them to the coefficients of dark magic to simplify detection of the--"
>"Yes, well, as you can see, he's made quite a significant amount of progress," Heerser interrupts, showing the classic signs of info overload.
>"Yeah, as much as I'd love to sit around and hear you two jabber in magicese," Razor adds with a smirk of his own. "I'd actually like to get some drinks in me tonight, Anon."
"R-right, sorry. Got--"
>"Carried away, I know."
>"Your joint presence here indicates a 74.5% likelihood of a question for me," Exact says.
"Sounds about right. Vegter here wants to know if you want to have a drink with us."
>Rejection in 3, 2, 1...
>"Inform him that I must decline."
>Right on cue.
`Sorry,` you call back to the zeeb in question, `He is not interested.`
>`You cannot be serious!`
`He is not a good drinking partner anyways. For the best.`
>`Bah! More like he works too hard! Not even any alchemists helping him!`
>Not exactly his fault.
`He is doing good work. I say let him keep going.`
>`Fine! Not happy though.`
`Look at it this way. One less person to watch you lose to me.`
>Oh yes, that fired-up look complete with snout wrinkling is what you live for.
>Sorry pal, but the ruling on this case is absolute, and the precedent concrete.
>Nobody out-drinks Anon.
>`Hahahah! You talk big for a magicless unicorn foal! Will enjoy watching you get smashed!`
>`Oh, please,` Heerser says. `We both know that spectacle will be mine to witness, and nozebra else's.`
`Nozebra? This human is about to school you!`
>`I'm sure you'll try. No matter how many disappointments I encounter in your quote-unquote lesson.`
>Ooh, he's good.
>>
>>33297550
>`On an unrelated note,` he starts, peering around at your back, `What is that strange rod in your possession?`
`This? My magic staff. One of them.`
>`One of your items, then? I certainly hope it's not dangerous.`
`Only if you are evil. Literally only hurts evil.`
>`Is that so? May I see it?`
>Ehh, what the hell, you'll show him the staff proper.
>He looks it over with a definite fascination, paying extra attention in particular to the Riafalt focus slapped on top of it.
>`Pardon me, but--`
>"Anon, seriously, I'm not digging getting left out here!"
"He's just interested in the staff, is all. Nothing you haven't already seen in action."
>"Actually," Heerser says, switching back to English for Razor's sake, "You would be better served speaking of this in your tongue. What, precisely, does that weapon do?"
"Technically, it's only part weapon."
>"Uh-oh," comes Razor's eyeroll, "Here we go again."
>Yes, here we go again indeed.
>Only you're happy to explain how this system works to this guy, seeing how he's never actually seen your stuff in action.
>So that's what you go over: how staves and wands work, how they work with foci, and a brief rundown of most of the foci you had with you before Vegter captured you.
>Yes, you did emphasize that part in Zebrikaans, special for him.
>Yes, he did look ashamed of himself.
>Just as nature intended.
>"What an interesting system. A base that can become anything from a tool to a weapon, with a simple change."
"Yeah, it's always been pretty rad."
>"Although, I believe I'm starting to see the coincidences you witnessed beforehoof in that shield we provided you," Heerser finally replies.
"What? You mean, how the symbols seemed similar?"
>>
>>33297556
>"I wouldn't know about that, as I do not create the weapons, only use them. But I noticed immediately the similarity in how it's energy feels compared to my own weapons."
"Well, I wouldn't know about that either. But I can tell you that the two systems seem to work together well enough."
>"Oh? Why do you say that?"
`Vegter! Tell him what I did to your axe!`
>`Hahahah! He made it better! Much better!`
>`Better how, precisely?`
>`Not just stronger with better sigils! Now it also shoots funny blue lightning!`
>`I'm sorry, it does what?`
`One of my lightning spells. Tried to make it work on the axe. Pleasantly surprised when it did!`
>`Vegter, may I see it?`
>He's only too proud to put it on display.
>Jesus, even Heerser's lifting that thing like it's nothing!
>Are these two just freaks of nature, or are all these zeeb warriors this fucking buff?
>"My word, that is peculiar," he mutters, eyes fixed on your glyphwork. "I thought you said your particular magic was unusable by those with magic?"
"You're right, it can't be. But somehow it can be activated with zebra glyphs, and normally, that would be impossible."
>"Impossible? Forgive me, but magic is not my strong suit."
"It's a long, complicated story. Short answer is that they can only do that without a hitch if the systems are closely related."
>"Related? As in, descended?"
"Yeah."
>A few moments of thought pass on his part before he hoofs the axe back to Vegter.
>"I'm sure you've already come to the conclusion that this makes sense, given our ancient history with the Towenaar."
"Mmhmm."
>It can't be anything but that, can it?
>"Perhaps these similarities would be better explored by one more knowledgeable on the subject. Would you object to discussing this in more detail to an alchemist?"
"Not at all. I'd like to know more about how they're related, too."
>"I'll see about arranging that for after we return from the next patrol."
>A nod from you.
>>
>>33297569
>Jeez though, how did that whole thing play out anyways?
>You mean, your first thought was that the Faber Mystico came along, gave them some thaumic knowledge somehow, and then it just evolved into it's own thing?
>Or did they steal the magic and change it up from there?
>How did they even make it work for folks with magic in them?
>Was it just for these Kunstenaar guys, or for some other tribes as well?
>Is this related to the crazy alchemy shit you've seen in action?
>Fuck if you know, man.
>Whatever the case, they're questions for another time.
>Still, Heerser's right about the practical uses for this.
>You hadn't really considered it before now, but these zeebs have some real dangerous magic weapons, easily as strong as what you would've been making a few months back.
>Your friends, on the other hand, don't have anything close to that kind of power.
>Razor has, what, electric throwing knives, a crossbow, and a regular glaive?
>Exact has nothing but his horn!
>Just thinking back to what happened in Ponyville with those Homunculi, too...
>And how much smoother would that raid on Nito's lair have gone if they had kit like yours, kit that just let you mow down hordes of bugs and gryphons like it was nothing?
>Jesus, man.
>Were they really that unprepared for this?
>You and the zeebs have the kit, but them...
>Oh, boy.
>Oh fucking hell.
>A cold feeling starts to grow in your stomach and across your skin.
>You've got to get this trust shit sorted out right fucking away.
>They're damn near naked compared to what even these two zeebs are bringing to the table.
>Oh God almighty, Razor was right again.
>You pissed around too much here, wasting time that you could've spent getting into their good graces, solving this mystery earlier, and getting them ready for--!
>>
>>33297586
>"Are you all right, Otherworldly Anonymous?"
"Wha? O-oh, yeah, fine. Why?"
>"You seemed rather... distraught for a few moments."
"Just, uh, considering these applications of yours."
>"You can consider them during tomorrow's patrol. For the moment, file those thoughts away, lest you forget them tonight."
>Heh, r-right, he's on for drinking.
>God, you're such a fucking idiot.
>No, no no no, calm, get it together.
>Okay, maybe he's right.
>Things haven't gone too badly so far, right?
>You've still got some time to sort this all out.
>Yeah, maybe show that one alchemist bitch who's trustwo--
>"Pardon me," Exact pipes up, "But I believe I have just made progress towards detecting these stealth constructs."
"Already? Damn, forgot how fast you go."
>"It's only been a day, and you've already figured it out?" Heerser adds.
"Yeah, he's pretty nuts."
>"E-evidently. I'd have thought it impossible to comprehend this thing that quickly."
>"It was a significant time investment," Exact says, simple as can be.
"Heh, right. So, need any testing aids?"
>"Your presence here stands to benefit my analysis, Anon. Would you please activate the construct?"
"Sure," you say, strolling on over while he backs away a bit. "Let me guess, figuring out the iron interaction next?"
>"I will attempt to."
"Sounds like a plan."
>Over you go to the hoof-print pad, and sure enough, a press of your hand puts everything under that red invisibility wave, shimmering aplenty all around you.
>Meanwhile, Exact takes up position with the others, his horn glowing.
>"Minor attenuation issues. Detection should be of a greater effective range than this."
"No worries, take your time."
>"I have made the necessary corrections. It should now be possible for me to detect this construct within a radius of approximately 130 yards, with a variance of approximately 15 yards."
>>
>>33297595
"Hey, I'll take it. What about the iron thing?"
>"I suspect it was engineered specifically to detect magical obstructions of it's kind, and dynamically apply more illusory overlays to--"
>His eyes bulge for a moment.
"What? What's up?"
>"My spell is detecting the presence of a second construct."
>And just like that, your stomach drops along with the mood.
>"A second one?" Heerser asks. "You are certain?"
>"It just entered the detection radii a moment ago."
>"Oh, you're bucking joking," Razor so beautifully summarizes for you.
>"Save your foul language for after we deal with it," Heerser damn near barks, his tone now very serious. "Is there any way to ascertain it's intentions here, agent of Celestia?"
>"There is not. I only detect it's presence, nothing more."
>"Then I must ask you to track it further, to discover the intentions of it's occupants."
>Heerser takes that moment to bark some orders to some nearby alchemists to keep Exact guarded, who semi-reluctantly obey.
>"It seems our little game will have to wait for another day, Otherworldly Anonymous."
>For fuck's sake, man.
>Heerser asks for something called an 'echo gem', and he's handed a pair of opaque blue gemstones by another nearby alchemist, one of which is handed to Exact while he keeps the other.
>"Keep me informed. Now go!"
>He nods and runs off, his escort following suit.
>>
>>33297609
>`What is happening?` Vegter throws in, visibly tense. `An attack?`
>`Possibly. The agent of Celestia sensed another invisible chariot flying over Vesting. He pursues it as we speak.`
>`Another?!`
>`We do not know if they are here to attack, or here to observe. Summon your warriors, but do so discreetly, and keep them at the ready to intervene. Do you understand?`
>`Yes!` he chest-salutes. `Otherworldly Anonymous. Be careful!`
`Right.`
>And off he goes, too.
>"Now," he continues, "Your equipment was stored with Uncouth Razor Wind's items, Otherworldly Anonymous. Can you lead him to it?"
>"That won't be an issue. You off to raise the alarm?"
>"Indeed. It will not take long. Remain there with him until I find you again, unless circumstances demand otherwise."
>"You got it. C'mon, Anon!"
"R-right."
>Jesus Christ, man.
>Your mind's telling you it's just a scout.
>But your gut's telling you it's something much, much worse.
>Please, for the love of God, let it be wrong this time.
>...
>>
>>33297623
>He's here somewhere.
>He has to be.
>Anonymous should stick out like a sore nose here!
>Keep looking.
>Just keep looking.
>You'll find him.
>You have to!
>"So, that gem is a means to summon reinforcements, then?" Veldheer asks of a still conflicted and now rather agitated Ajay.
>"I told you, it's for emergencies only!"
>"Yes, and I suspect there will indeed be an emergency upon us soon."
>"What, you mean you're looking for a fight, is that it?"
>"I would be lying if I said the prospect was not appealing. But I suspect we will have little choice in the matter."
>Argh, are they still talking?!
>"We're perfectly concealed up here! There's no reason to think that--"
>"Are we? I think the occupants of that destroyed chariot would beg to disagree."
>"You don't trust our Lord, is that it?"
>"Of course not. Not him, not his monstrosities, and certainly not this contrivance of his made to mask our presence."
"Shut up! Both of you!"
>You sense Ajay recoiling, but Veldheer as per usual does no such thing.
"The only thing you should be doing is looking for this damn weapon, got it?!"
>"Oh, I very much doubt you will find that mysterious weapon, liefling. But on the other hoof, I'm certain you will find it's wielder in no time at all."
"It's wielder? Is that some kind of a joke?"
>"I'm quite serious."
>A brief snarl leaves your throat before you turn towards Veldheer, your snout barely an inch from his infuriating little smug face.
"I've had just about enough of you today! I've had enough of these bucking delays! Get back to searching for this weapon before I throw you out of this chariot!"
>He doesn't even blink.
>"My dear, you really should stick to threats you can make good on."
>He doesn't even stop smiling.
>You, meanwhile, narrow your eyes, your face inching closer as if to give your glare more power.
"You think--?!"
>>
>>33297632
>The instant your nose touches his snout is when you feel his hoof cupping your jaw, the only warning you have before his face closes the distance.
>Whatever threat was about to explode from your throat was muffled by something pressed against your lips.
>That instant when you realized what was happening was the very same instant you were assaulted by the raw emotions within him, carried over in near perfect purity over the kiss.
>Bemusement, concern, satisfaction, worry, all clashing with one another.
>A massive, simmering lust for violence.
>Eros love dominated, with ludus taking a close second.
>But mixed in there was the unmistakable, mouthwatering taste of what could only be one thing.
>Storge.
>Eclipsed by the others, but still there all the same.
>You'd been so long without it, and no zebra you've fed upon had it.
>You'd almost forgotten what it tastes like...
>And...
>Veldheer had...?
>Veldheer.
>Veldheer!
>That little bastard!
>Just as red begins to seep into your vision, his lips separate from yours and his hoof pushes you away, the sudden loss of the connection causing you to stumble for another moment before you fall back, unable to balance yourself in time.
>"There," he says, giving his lips a small lick as if to taste what was left over, "Are you calm now?"
>How the--?!
>Isn't he--?
>But--!
>Words fail you, and all you can do is lie there on your back, slack-jawed at the sheer audacity on display here.
>"My, that was more successful than I expected."
>He did it again.
>Just when you thought he'd hit the limit as to how infuriating, how nervy he could be...!
>You should kill him.
>Just kill him now.
>Make an example out of him.
>Just look at him!
>Him and his stupid...!
>Just...
>Gaaaaaah!
>>
>>33297640
>Slowly, you pull yourself back upright, levelling another glare in his direction.
>"Perhaps now you are willing to listen, liefling?"
>Don't.
>Answer him.
"I hate you so much."
>Damn it.
>"How peculiar," he shoots back with that same grin. "I've never known hatred to produce such pleasing smiles."
>His head must be on backwards if he thinks this is making you smile!
>It made you smile, didn't it?
>"Mmm, I'll have to remember that for a later time."
>If it did, it's back to a scowl now.
"Go to Tartarus."
>"Perhaps another time."
>Buck him and everything he stands for.
>"Really though, you should be smiling far more this night."
"What, you need something else to eye up?"
>"Oh, your form never ceases to please, but your smile is a much rarer delight. It's especially beautiful when you're poised to kill."
>What you wouldn't give to shut him up right now.
>"And with your quarry in such a vulnerable state? Why, I'm shocked you're not grinning from ear to ear!"
"What?"
>"Athalia, come now. Surely you must have noticed it when you sensed the battle with those creatures?"
"Noticed what, our side losing? This attack being called off?"
>"Ahh, so hatred still clouds your thoughts? Perhaps I should clear your mind once again--"
"Try it and you'll be fighting with four broken legs."
>What will it take to make him stop smirking so damn much?!
>"Think, Athalia. You said you sensed the alchemists battle against something that did not exist."
"So I sensed it wrong, so what?"
>"Don't be so quick to doubt your senses. I believe I know exactly what they were battling against there."
"Stop dancing around this and tell me who it is already!"
>"None other than your mortal enemy, of course."
>Mortal ene--?
>Wait.
>Anonymous?
>>
>>33297649
"That's the dumbest thing I've heard today."
>"And that changes the truth of the matter?"
"Veldheer, if he were there, I'd have sensed his magic from far--"
>"'His' magic? But I thought humans possessed no magic?"
"Well yeah, but--"
>"So if he has no magic with which to leave a trail you can sense, then you must agree that he would be this nonexistent warrior."
"No I don't agree! Because that doesn't make any sense!"
>"Why not? If he has no magic, then this weapon would pose no threat to him, no?"
"Forget about the stupid impossible weapon! Why the buck would he just give up his magic weapons like that? Did you just forget about what it did to those warriors of yours?!"
>"I haven't forgotten. But tell me, why do you think he would not forfeit his weapons?"
"Oh gee, I don't know! Maybe because they make him unstoppable? Maybe to get in this stupid tribe's good graces?"
>"We just spoke of this mere minutes ago, my dear. All the power in the world will not make the Kunstenaars trust him. If that were true, then this Celestia would have them dancing to her tune generations ago."
"Nevermind, that's the dumbest thing I've heard all day! You're actually suggesting that he gave up his things, just to get them to trust him?"
>"Yes."
>Aaagh, this bucking idiot!
>That's impossible!
>That's...
>His face was completely straight.
>His emotions were the picture of sincerity.
>He...
>He's serious?
>He's serious.
"You're serious?"
>"Deadly serious."
"B-but that's--"
>"Call our customs what you will, but it is the truth. If your precious human came to us with displays of power, we would have slaughtered him where he stood. Instead, he gave me the head of one of my traitorous castaway brood, and a stolen relic of our ancestral past, proving his commitment to bloodshed. That was how he first earned our trust."
>>
>>33297666
"S-so... what do they want?"
>"The Kunstenaars? Plenty of things. Exchanges of knowledge. Displays of love. Bonds forged in battle. Whatever will feed into their foolish ideas of nobility and enlightenment. But no tribe, no matter how cowardly, will submit to mere displays of power. They would sooner choose death."
>What's this feeling in your stomach?
>N-no, wait!
"But what about that weapon? Th-that thing that killed those Homunculi?"
>"What about it?"
"What do you mean, what about it? Did you see what it did?!"
>"To the creatures, yes. Curiously however, he did not turn it against the alchemists."
"He--"
>He didn't.
"But why?"
>"It brings a gruesome death to all with magic, yes? Do you think he would want that for his compatriots?"
>His friends.
>Anonymous's stupid bucking friends.
>He...
>That's right.
>The alchemists entered at the same time his allies did.
>Meaning he couldn't have...
>Heh.
>Heheheh...
>"Ahh, there it is," he grins once again. "That beautiful, murderous smile of yours."
>Oh, that's what this feeling is.
>Butterflies.
>"W-we are not going to fight them right now!" comes Ajay's nervous exclamation.
>Wait a minute.
>Is that... envy you sense in his emotions now?
>"I told you already that there may be little choice in the matter, gryphon. That possibility has now become a certainty."
>"No it has not! We're still undetected up here!"
>"Are we? You may find that unicorn on the ground thinks quite differently."
>Huh?
>Unicorn?
>Following Veldheer's eyes, you peer down from the chariot to--
>There is!
>When did he see--?!
>Gaaah, he's right, he is following the chariot!
>And...
>Wait.
>That unicorn's intent, have you...?
>No.
>No way.
>That's not the same...?!
>It is!
>That's the same unicorn!
>The same one from Canterlot that kept you from beating that damn princess Luna!
>>
>>33297676
>I-is this some kind of sign?
>Are you really about to get revenge on so much more than Anonymous tonight?
>"Th-that's not possible!" Ajay nearly squawks, nervousness almost dripping from his tone.
>"I warned you not to place stock in your foolish human's creations."
>That unicorn is talking into some kind of gemstone.
>The magic is strange, but still feels like a communication construct of some kind.
>So, he's reporting your movements, huh?
>To who, you wonder?
>No longer focused on finding this mystery weapon, you trace the magic of the gem to a part of the fort in the distance, giving you a target to cast your senses over proper.
>You can sense zebras of all kinds on alert, and following some of the presences along the walls paints a pretty clear picture.
"The whole fort knows we're here."
>"Of course they do," Veldheer adds. "Travelled Heerser takes security incredibly seriously."
>"You're telling us this now?!"
>"Yes, now that it involves Athalia."
>"Unbelievable!"
>"Such complaining befits a newborn filly more than it does a warrior. But then, the Kunstenaars have their own cowardly options, too."
>Wh-whoa!
>Where'd these presences suddenly come from?!
>"Wh-what are you--?!"
>"Silence. Do you hear that?"
>N-nevermind the sounds, what's with these powerful, quasi-emotionless presences?!
>"Ahh, speak of the daemon, and it shall manifest," Veldheer says, caught between excitement and annoyance. "Their vaunted Ancients are being brought to bear."
>Looking down at the closest presence, you see a huge stone golem of some description rising out from what used to be a modestly sized tent, easily towering over the attending zebras by a good four or five heads!
>>
>>33297682
>"Oh good Godric," Ajay squawks, "Get us out of here, now!"
>"I told you already, gryphon. Combat is now unavoidable."
>It's head turns up towards the chariot, and it's mouth opens.
>It's charging some kind of magic bolt!
>So this is it, then?
>"Athalia, I must ask something of you."
>You barely notice yourself shaking.
"What?"
>He looks and feels about as excited as you do.
>"Do to the Equestrians and your Anonymous what you will, but leave Travelled Heerser and Reckless Vegter for me."
"Who?"
>"Oh, you'll know them when you see them."
>While Veldheer pulls out a potion of some kind and quickly drinks it's contents, the golem's mouth looses a yellow ball of lightning with a loud CRACK.
>Powerful, but nothing you can't shield against.
>And as the ball detonates against your quickly erected shield, all semblance of restraint you had leaves with it.
>Wings buzzing to life, you leap out of the chariot.
>"Athalia! No!"
>"Summon your reinforcements, gryphon. Perhaps they will be of more aid than you are."
>Ajay doesn't get a chance to squeeze in a rebuttal before Veldheer jumps out of the chariot himself, magic from that potion taking root within his legs.
>He freefalls directly towards one of those golems and pulls free his massive sword, already crackling with dark magic.
>>
>>33297693
>The golem isn't even close to getting another lightning ball charged in time, and he crashes sword-first into it's head, the force of his blow cleaving it's entire front side in two, the dust cloud made upon his somewhat pained landing accentuated by a shockwave of dark purple magic radiating out from the point of impact.
>It collapses to the ground, it's presence fizzling out moments after the shockwave.
>That's as good a place to land as any.
>Diving down yourself, you arrive to the sight of Veldheer slaughtering the nearby zebras, both with the now freely levitating greatsword and with his own hooves, with wicked serrated blades extending out from the armour on his forelegs with every blow he lands.
>Already, you can sense more zebras converging here.
>Veldheer says nothing, only offering you a small glance full of murderous glee before turning back to his wanton slaughter.
>It's finally going to happen.
>You'll finally get to kill Anonymous today.
>Finally, you can take his head back to Incognito, just like when you first set out to kill him.
>But this time, there won't be any mistakes.
>This time, he won't get to use his dirty tricks.
>This time, he's yours.
>But you don't mind starting with that unicorn.
>One of those golems comes into view from a fair ways away.
>The laughter you hear as you bolt towards it is without a doubt your own.
>...
>>
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>>33297706
Well well, good thing I was lurking around this time. Been a while since the raids have been happening, eh? I wonder if it's by that same kraut who bragged about it before? Ah well, doesn't matter. Now, let's finish this repost with last thread's short-lived end-of-update commentary.

I have to say, I'm very happy about this update. Sure, it's two weeks later, but I'm having a much better time with this slower update rate than with the faster one. And with a couple hundred more words than even the last update that was a month in the making! I think I'll stick to this rate going forward, I'm really digging it so far.
Anyways, always glad to be back in the game. Oh, by the way, this is the very last update for Thaumaturgy you will ever see in 2018. I know, I know. Here, dry your eyes with this Pastebin link, and you all have yourselves a lovely procession of holidays, gift giving, and new year celebrations, all right? All right. https://pastebin.com/D8zmMPD4
>>
>>33297747
Thanks for reposting the update, HK. You're a trooper.
>>
>>33297747
Some sort of fallout from the pixel canvas thing, from the looks of it.
>>
Shit, did we get raided?
>>
>>33298851
Yep.
>>
>>33298851
Script kiddies in the pixel canvas somehow thought it was a good idea to raid script kiddies from another site.
>>
>>33299273
>>33298645
That's just fucking sad.
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>>33298645
What happened with pixel canvas?
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>>33300805
Wakey wakey now maybe I can get writing done, send energy \o/
>>
>>33300829
Autism fight
>>
>>33297747
And so the battle begins. Glad Exact came up with the detection spell in time. Good thing Anon has a couple of his most powerful/useful items back. Hopefully he'll be given most if not all his gear back.Thanks for the cliffhanger-y repost. Thanks for all the entertainment you've provided. I wish you and yours the very best this holiday season and I look forward to reading the next update next year.
>>
>>33299273
Discord: Not even once.
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>>33297747
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>>33302300
>>
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>>33300853
here you go
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>>33300853
Sent ;)
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>>33300945
Elaborate? I'm curious, it seems really autistic
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>>33303117
Anon's calves and ankles are looking rather anemic.
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>>33305069
Well, Anon is kind of a faggot who skip leg day ... and all-other-muscles-day too.
"Equestrian diet and having to walk around" has limit.
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>>33304122
Can I get some of that
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>>33305892
I miss Pony Prison threads, they were nice.
>>
>>33305923
Did they stopped completely ?
I check the catalog periodically but I don't know if I just miss them and if they don't exist anymore.
>>
What Lies Beneath

>"Well howdy there Anon, we haven't seen you in days."
>"Hey AJ, funny story about that. See I found these crystals growing up into my basement, so I tried to remove them. Big mistake, soon as I touched them I started hallucinating."
>"Hallucinating?"
>"I was haunted by the ghost of Twilight."
>"Well that ain't right."
>"Kept seeing rainbows everywhere and I think I got lost in a cave for a while."
>"That'd explain why we ain't seen ya around."
>"I also met a dragon having a tea party, was some real Alice in Wonderland shit going on."
>"This is startin' to sound mighty dangerous Anon, good that y'all are back safe and sound."
>"Yeah. The worst part though, was when I got trapped in a Mongolian Throat Singing Forum for three days."
>"What's a Manglogian?"
>"No idea but they speak in green."
>And those damn crystals are still in your basement.

Sounds of Silence

>Applejack and Flutters are telling you all about their latest friendship quest.
>You're barely listening. A few of the minor details have captured your attention though.
>These Kirin. They turn into fire beasts when angry.
>And they have sort of scaly bits running from their nose to their tails.
>Have horns like unicorns but strange and twisty shaped.
>Apparently run hot with their emotions.
>The one they met was called Autumn Blaze...
>"Anon! Are y'all listenin'? You've been staring at the wall for the past five minutes."
>"Sorry AJ, I was lost in thought. Thinking about dragons and ponies..."

https://pastebin.com/Vct2bPj3
>>
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>>33306043
I think they stopped, though I don't know why. I reckon they had themselves a discord server, so they might have simply gone "underground" after the general died. I wonder if bringing back the general would draw out the write/drawfags that haven't moved on yet. I also wonder if people here would mind them moving in, should the resurrection attempt fall short.
>>
>>33306107
Originally everyone was going to come over here, but there were only a couple writers left and they were on the disinterest ropes. After a few initial reposts of recent story bits I never saw anything again in this thread. There have been a handful of prison threads made over the last couple years and they even get story updates, but it's basically been scattered to the winds.
>>
>>33306107
And people wonder why we don't have a Discord server.
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Oh hey, we're back.
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>>33306447
Huh, so we are. Awesome!
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What does today hold for you Anon?
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>>33306043
>>33306107
Well, the discord server is like, used to share ideas and songs to write in the meantime (not like we use it daily)
We died like every other thread has, think one or two writefags got their stories completed and called it a day but others (like me) didn't finish it

Heck, I could write again no problem, I don't like leaving stories unfinished, but I hate it when I get ideas for one story and another, too little time for too many stories in my head.
I totally miss writing silly ponies overreacting on childish stuff like not saying sorry after breaking into a line of 4
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>>33307314
>could write again no problem
You know what must be done.
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So... er...
I decided to expand upon that anon transformed into a supermarket idea from a previous thread. Here you go.

>It should have just been another day at the supermarket, no big deal. You just wanted to go to the store, buy some new sponges for your homemade onihole, maybe pick up some lite beer to help with your new "healthy" diet, and that's it. But fate had other plans for you today it seems. You were never meant to have peaceful afternoon, fapping by yourself while talking to online friends who are none the wiser.
>No. Instead, you were destined to walk in, slip on a banana peel like some sort of cartoon nonsense character, an fall like an idiot in front of the whole store.
>This is what passes through your head as you're tumbling to the floor. The world around you seems to move in slow motion, and you can practically hear faint music playing in the background "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEE..." People's heads are turning and their expressions are warping to those of horror, but there's nothing you can do to stop it. It's too late. You have just enough time to sigh heavily in your mind and lament the fact that you forgot to feed your cat today before time seems to speed up again.
>You crash to the floor, and your head snaps back with a sickening crack against the tile. All at once, everything goes dark.
>For a moment, there is just nothing. No sound, sight, sensation. No you.
>Then, gradually, you become aware of yourself. And right away, you can tell that things aren't quite... right. You can't feel your body the same way, you can't open your eyes or move. But at the same time, you're aware of yourself, and aware that you are alive and can feel... in a way. You try to sit up, rub your aching head, but you can't. In fact, it doesn't even feel like you have a head anymore.
>What's going on here?
>>
>>33308281

>You try to call out for help, but you don't seem to have a voice either. Or hands, or eyes. You know you should be afraid, distressed, but right now you're just too confused to feel anything else. Where are you? Or perhaps... what are you?
>At last, you start to recognize your own form. You can feel you are vast, that you are hollow. You can feel many working parts inside of you, can feel your edges, curves, construction. You can even see yourself, in a way. You're conscious of every little part of your being, and can observe it. And... you are...
>A supermarket.
>...
>You check again.
>No, really, you're a supermarket.
>WHAT THE FUCK you try to yell, but instead there's just a soft beeping from one of your checkout lanes. You try again to cry out in anger and disgust, but there's only a soft 'bing' from your sound system, that echoes through your interior.
>Feeling deeply shaken, you stop to try to collect yourself and figure out what has happened and what the shit is going on here. You fell in a supermarket, and somehow... you've been reborn as one? Is this hell? Have you been sent to hell for all those times you jacked it thinking of your own sister? Nah, you've done worse things than that, that can't be right. This must be a mistake. You feel... wrong. You shouldn't be this way. You shouldn't be what you are. What ever are you going to do?!
>Before you can decide on that, you're suddenly aware of voices coming from outside your walls. You shift your focus to your storefront to find a series of small, adorable and brightly colored horses standing there, staring up at you.
"WOW!" a blue one with wings says. "Where did THIS come from?"
"I don't know..." the yellow one says in a soft voice. "I haven't seen it before today. And it's so big!"
>She reaches out and touches you with one hoof, and the sensation of being touched sends a strange feeling through you. Yes, you can feel sensation but it feels... different. Very intimate for some reason.
>>
>>33308286

"Oh my gosh!" a pink pony says, hopping up and down excitedly. "I think it's a market for all sorts of things, I've never seen a big indoor one before! All the produce stores are usually inside and stuff!"
"That's true, Pinkie," says a purple one with a horn and crown. "Perhaps we should go inside and see what it's like in there. I hope this isn't some sort of trick."
>A white pony nods, tossing her purple mane a little as she speaks.
"Indeed, Darling. Let's go inspect the merchandise."
"As long as they're not tryin' to run us outta the apple business," an orange one grumbles.
>As you watch, they approach your front doors. The purple one steps forward and sets a hoof on one of the black strips of rubber in front of the door and, without you being able to stop it, the door swings automatically open. You suddenly feel deeply exposed for some reason. Naked, even. But before you can come to grips with this feeling, the ponies enter you.
>Your whole being feels like it convulses with sensation. If you had a mouth, you are sure you'd be moaning.
>OH SWEET LORD WHAT IS THIS?
>The feeling of the ponies walking into you is like nothing you've ever experienced before. It doesn't quite hurt, and it doesn't quite tickle, but what you do know is that it feels very intense. It feels intimate, it feels... violating. The closest thing you can associate this feeling with is a sexual one.
>Just as you're steadying yourself, another shock of sensation fills you. One of the ponies, the blue one, is taking something off your shelf! You're wracked with feelings you never knew before. She's inside you, touching you in places you perhaps shouldn't be touched. She's plucking at bits of you no one has ever caressed. She's moving something deep in you, and you have no ability to stop her!
"Wow! They have my favorite spray cheese!" the blue pony says in excitement.
>>
>>33308289

>On another side of your store, you feel something new. Something that makes you feel... dirty. The orange pony is picking up produce, apples, heads of lettuce, and turning them over in her hooves. Then, she's just putting them back! She's defiling your clean, virginal produce!
>No, PLEASE STOP!
"Seems like the fruits and veggies are fresh," she says with a shrug. "What do you think, Twi?"
"Well," the purple one says. "I would be interested to see the meat department."
>Is that all you are to them? Just a piece of meat?
>You mentally thrash as you feel the ponies moving inside you. They touch everything, move things around, put things back in the wrong place. They caress, they push, they pull. They move forward and back down your aisles without a care in the world, just... using you. Using you like they don't even care. Taking advantage of all you have to offer.
>And... you think you like it.
>Oh god, what's wrong with you?! This feels so filthy, so weird. But you just can't help yourself. You feel good that they're using you like this. You feel... right. Like you're being a good little supermarket, giving them what they want and need. The beating of their hooves on your floor finds a rhythm, and you feel the sensation building up. It feels good. God, it feels even better than when you managed to get the suction just right on the vacuum nozzle that one time.
>But then, you spot them. More ponies, coming your way. They're coming up to your door, more ponies than you can handle, you're sure of that. You're too new! You need to be treated gently, broken in! Please, not like this, not so many at once!
>But it's too late.
>>
>>33308293

>They approach you, pushing at your entrance. Then, all at once they're inside you, bursting through. You feel all of them, shoving themselves into your body against your will, without you having any ability to protest. More and more keep coming inside you, over and over, forcing themselves through your openings relentlessly. In and out, over and over. You hear their ooh's and aah's as they start finding their way deeper and deeper. They touch you, they use you, just like the other ponies before. You're entirely at their mercy, just taking this gangbang of shoppers like the bitchmart you are.
>You can only imagine what a black Friday rush would be like.
>The sensation is getting stronger and stronger by the minute. You feel so full, so used, so good that it almost hurts. You feel something building in you, an impulse, and desire.
>Yes, yes shop in me! Take everything, I'm yours to use!
>You realize it's getting all too much. You can't take it anymore. You're not even sure how it works, but you realize you're about to... about to...
>Oh god.
>HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNGHHHHHHHHHHH!

[hr]

>There's a sound of a crash from the other side of the store. The pony at the cash register lifts her head and turns it in the direction of the noise, then rolls her eyes in exasperation. She's only been working this job for a week now, ever since the store first appeared in Ponyville, and she's already become accustomed to this noise and what it means. She leans over to her register mic, taps it with one hoof to make sure that it's working, then speaks into it.
"Lavender Dream? Cleanup on aisle C again."
"Again?" Lavender calls out in frustration from where she's trying to take a break in the recesses of the employee break room.
"Yeah, same as usual," the cashier pony says into her mic.
>>
>>33308300

>Lavender grabs a mop and dustpan, shaking her head as she makes her way towards the scene of the spill. Sure enough there's a broken jar on the ground. White liquid spatters the ground, spilling onto the store tiles and leaving specks of thick fluid on other items on shelves above. It drips off the edge of the shelf, showing lurid-looking enthusiastic sprays as each drop hits the ground. It's a real mess, an explosion if you will. It seems to happen every other day, and nopony is sure why. Lavender just sighs heavily as she gets to work.
"Why is it always the so y milk?" she mutters.

-END-

Fic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/427716/quickie-mart
Bin: https://pastebin.com/vGTbmHBk

So. That's a thing. I hope you "enjoy" it. Good luck in getting through the rest of the week and stuff.
Shop smart.
>>
>>33308306
Well Anonpencil, you are an odd fellow.
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>>33308306
Anonpencil; two questions.
1. What are you smoking?
2. Why aren't you sharing?
>>
>>33308795

I wrote sober today.
That's my only excuse.
>>
>>33308306
I hope it isn't too personal to say, I did actually get somewhat aroused by this. So thank you.
>>
Taking Requests
>>
Taking requests too
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>>33308873
>>33308889
>Taking Requests
For pictures, or works of fiction?
>>
>>33307314
Is there an AiE discord? I hope so{/spoiler]
>>
>>33308895
Works of Fiction, my dude
or pictures, up to you
>>
>>33308896
We don't do Discord.
8th tried it and deleted it recently because no one used it.

AiE has been around for long enough to experience the thread-cancerfication that comes with Discord, only for us back then it was Skype/IRC/Tinychat/whatever. After a few years of drama, stupidity, a suicide, and people fucking each other both literally and figuratively, we've learned our lesson. The chats that are still around are mostly just writers talking about anything BUT writing so we don't get sick of each other.
>>
>>33308873
>>33308889
I've got an idea percolating in the back of my mind. I first thought of it for /nmp/ but it's could be AiE as well.

I'm thinking the story could start off with a hard hit to the feels like the opening sequence of "Up". Anon manages to find and marry a good woman but she dies in a car accident (not a bandit raid). They didn't have kids yet or she was pregnant at the time and add to Anon's sense of loss. He's listless but not to the point of suicide. He ends up in Equestria either dropped in or there's a means to Equestria and he figures there's nothing left on Earth for him so why not go. Meets a recently widowed Stellar Flare. Time passes, they're friendly, Sunburst is glad Stellar has someone to relate to until things turn romantic. Now there's Anon's & Stellar's conflicted feelings of new found love & fidelity to their deceased spouses to sort on top of Sunburst surprise and disapproval of the change. Characters work things through to a comfy end. Lewd not required but appreciated.
>>
>>33308889
I'd like to see a "human introduces technology to Equestria" story and the implications of it - one that isn't Grimdark Oh the Edge, trying to be Warhammer 40k, or other fares seen before. Anon von Bismarck and Everyday Life with Guardsmares incorporate elements of this, but its not the heart of either story.
>>
>>33297495
YOU STARTED THIS. YOU RUINED THIS WHOLE BOARD WITH YOUR HELLSPAWN OF GENERALS.
YOUR CHILDREN SUFFOCATED US AND MURDERED US.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, ANON?
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>>33309290
We never wanted kids. We've told them a hundred times to move back home, but they never listen. Not our fault.
>>
>>33309290
ACKSHUALLY I believe you will find that Flutterrape was the start.
>>
>>33308801
I want a sequel in which Anon's condition is partially cured, or maybe worsened.

He walks around as a human again--but then when he sees the light of the full moon, he is transformed into a two-bedroom bungalow. He is cursed to live out his existence as a building.

Because he's a w e r e h o u s e .

I lifted the pun from Piers Anthony.

Sorry, not sorry.
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>>33309290
Not our fault the retards think their idea is sooo special. The only one I agree with being separated is hhh.
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>>33309290
cry moar bitch nigga
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>>33309054
Don't know what /nmp/ or who those characters are, but I'll try a thing
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>>33309290
Mission accomplished.
>>
>>33308873
>>33308889
Anon confronts Rockhoof during his little I-feel-like-killing-myself moment he had in that one episode, and mentions he is a bit surprised that Rockhoof of all ponies would be so weak-minded and quick to give up on life.
>>
>>33310006
/nmp/ is the "Nothing More Pure than the love between a man and a mare" thread. A couple of greens caught my attention over there.

Stellar Flare is Sunburst's Mother.
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Sunburst%27s_family

Sunburst is the sort of Godfather to Flurry Heart, daughter of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Sunburst

Of course you could use other characters as I think the situation is generic enough. I look forward to reading what you come up with. Thanks famalam.
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>>33308943
I can't think of ever seeing any writefagging in the tinerchats. Lodes eh fun were had tho
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>>33312005
Terrible horse.
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>>33313182
Her mane is one of the few permanent portals to Narnia, though. That has to count for something.
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>>33313182
that's Anon
>>
>>33308943
>people fucking each other
>literally
Woah, which writers fucked? I need to know.
>>
>>33297747
I'd taken a break from /mlp/ and was very happy to find your fic again (although part of a different general) especially with so much more content! Great going, man - it's a blast to read, you've really fleshed out your own world and created some great characters!

My only fear is that Athalia is going to get some sort of redemption ark even though she clearly deserves to die. Holy fuck she's evil and I hate her.

Thanks for the updates - do you have a colour or design reference for exact and razor? Might try and draw something in the new year
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>>33309502
There is literally nothing wrong with hhh or anything else posted here so long as it is about Anon in Equestria and not written by someone who is messed up in the head.
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>>33315401
I have some bad news for you
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>>33315520
Please don't tell us you're too weird for Equestria.
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>>33315680
We're all too weird for Equestria. D:
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>>33314225
>She clearly deserves to die
I mean, that s like, your opinion man.
But really, i d love a reunion with her and Chrissy. just dont make her into a fucking gay bug, old changelings a best
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>>33315401
>There is literally nothing wrong with hhh
>not written by someone who is messed up in the head.
Looking at hhh they already fail that. Their stories are basic as fuck, all it is is, about how much they love dick and want to be fucked. Hell, even their discord is horrible, hugbox where you're interviewed to produce content, even some of the worst threads don't do that shit.
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>>33316109
she instigates conflict against persons undeserving, taking her time to kill them slowly / consuming their souls, and takes pleasure in doing so. By saving Incognito's life she has also indirectly killed / doomed swathes more. She's an interesting character but morally vile.

I'm not a fan of mental changes and mind wipes because it effectively kills or destroys a character but without any character building or satisfying feeling of justice. I'd like to see her reunite with Chryssy but I don't know how it could end happily and fairly at this point for her.
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>>33316877
Yeah, at this point if she does get pardoned through some bullshit by the changelings, ponies and zebras will be pissed, if she had been redeemed in the cell she'd have had a chance if for some ungodly reason no one knew she soul sucked the mages that surrounded her the first time, but she instead she killed more ponies with families and friends, slaughtered a assload of zebras, is attempting to work with a obviously evil person who works for demons in the literal void, and wants to kill leaders that for one thousand years have ensured their people lived in peace and harmony. Forget what Celestia and Luna have or haven't done, that was thousands of years ago and had lead to said peace, this changling is doing this shit now, attempting to ruin the peace purposefully because some loony who tortures civilians says so. Chitter is fucked, no matter how much the changling bro wants it not to be true, she's fucked, only way I see her surviving this is if she's wiped again and turned nuling, because ponies are already going to hate the old ones worse than they already do after this whole ordeal.
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>>33317829
Do you suppose Flutterbutter makes unintentional double entendres like that all the time? Maybe she's a dirty girl, deep down, and she just pretends to be a shy awkward virgin prone to anxiety attacks to troll her friends.
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>>33318678
>"I BET THE GRYPHONS DID THIS!"
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>>33318914
>the reason Luna is rarely seen around Canterlot is because she's not allowed out thanks to her being a huge racist
>>
How did Anonymous get to Equestria?

>https://pastebin.com/KtdT9QvS
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>>33270911
>Your leg catches with a jolt and you flail wildly, landing hard on your shoulder.
>You curl up and wait for the pain to fade.
>Applejack...
>What did you do wrong?
>You were only trying to help and protect her.
>Fresh tears threaten to overwhelm you again, so you cut off that thought and gingerly stretch out your aching shoulder, pushing yourself to a sitting position.
>You sniff and wipe your face on your sleeve, then you look around and recognize the bend in the path just before the school on the edge of town.
>That means you've been running for a while and are nearly home...
>No, not home.
>This isn't home without Applejack.
>You sigh and your breath catches in your throat, making you cough and swallow.
>You wipe your face again, then slowly stand up and trudge slowly up the path.
>As you pass the school, Sweetie Belle calls out again, but you just continue without reacting.
>She runs up beside you and looks up into your face, looking worried.
>"Anon? You look awful, what happened!?"
>You shake your head and keep walking.
>She looked a little hurt, but it doesn't really matter.
>She'll hear about what happened soon, then she won't want to talk to you anyway.
>As you enter Ponyville, passing ponies look curious but none stop to check.
>Random ponies always ignore you, so you don't care.
>You walk up to your house without incident and gently shut the door behind you.
>You take a couple steps inside, then just stand dumbly in the middle of your living room for a moment.
>What will you even do now?
>Absently, you turn and take a step toward your couch.
>...And remember her head in your lap, moments before she lurches up to kiss you.
>You wince and turn away, walking slowly to the bedroom.
>Upon entering, the sight of your tangled, dirty bedsheets brings up memories of last night and your chest tightens uncomfortably
1/10
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>>33319181
>Averting your eyes, you quickly step inside, grab your pajamas and carry them out, gently closing the bedroom door behind you.
>Your eyes fall on the dirty dishes from the dinner she made and your throat makes an odd sound.
>Wrenching your eyes away, you turn and stare idly at the ground as you change shirts.
>You loosen your pants and a tiny bag drops to the ground.
>You stare blankly for a few seconds, then kneel and gingerly pick it up.
>Without standing, you open and tilt the contents into your hand.
>A small dandelion lands delicately in your palm.
>The one from Lily Valley's shop.
>The one she told you to keep for Applejack.
>The flower blurs slightly as tears threaten to spill out, and you carefully slide it back into the bag and close it.
>Standing, you drop the bag on the nearest surface, not caring where, and turn away.
>You keep your gaze low to avoid the couch, the dishes, and the bedroom door while you switch into your pajama pants, then absently toss your dirty clothes to the side.
>Finally, you walk over to an empty corner of your barren living room, lean back against the wall and slide to the floor.
>You sit there, eyes downcast, your head feeling dull and empty.
>What will happen now?
...
>Some time later, you hear a slow, soft knocking on your door.
>You lift your head and realize at some point the sun set and plunged you into darkness.
>It doesn't really matter, but you idly wonder how long ago that happened.
>The gentle knocking repeats and you hear a deep, quiet voice.
>"Anon?"
>You sigh, stand, and slowly walk over to open the door.
>Big Mac looks a little worried when he sees you, but takes a step forward and tilts his head questioningly.
>You turn away, leaving the door open, and return to sit in the corner.
>The stallion gently shuts the door behind him, then walks over and sits near your side.
>You stare at the floor some more, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes.
2/10
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>>33319184
>"You okay?"
>You shrug your shoulders without lifting your gaze.
>He waits a moment, as if hoping you'll say something, then snorts softly.
>"T'weren't your fault, y'know."
>You don't react.
>It doesn't matter whose fault it was.
>"AJ tends to jump the gun when she's upset. She'll come around."
>You scoff, remembering how intensely furious she was.
>She must hate you now.
>"I mean it, Anon. She ain't never been one to burn a friendship like that."
>That doesn't make getting burnt feel any better.
>Big Mac shifts uncomfortably.
>"Apple Bloom was really upset when she found out. Shouted at Applejack near as much as... well."
>As much as Applejack shouted at you.
>Apple Bloom...
>Guess you won't be keeping your promise to hang out in her clubhouse.
>You sigh.
>Big Mac nickers and shuffles a little closer.
>"Look... ah ponyfeathers, I like you, Anon. Yer a good guy, an' as far as I'm concerned, yer a welcome part o'this family."
>A part of the family?
>Somehow you doubt Applejack would say so.
>Besides, Granny and Big Mac have already proven you right.
>When it comes down to it, they'll side with Applejack, not you.
>You glance up at him coldly and he smiles nervously.
"...Really?"
>"Eyup."
"I'm 'family?'"
>His smile falters at your tone.
>"Uh... yup?"
"So that mean you've got my back?"
>He nods hesitantly and you sneer.
"Then what the fuck were you doing when I was trying to help Applejack?"
>His ears droop and he sighs.
>"Things are awful tight on the farm, more'n ya probably realize. If'n we miss this comin' harvest, might not be 'nuff bits to keep things goin' through the winter."
>He shuffles nervously under your glare, then continues.
>"If'n we can just finish this harvest, AJ can have the whole winter to recover."
"And what if working on that injured leg hurts it so bad she still isn't recovered come spring time?"
>"Well... I 'spose I'll just have to trust AJ to know her limits."
3/10
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>>33319187
"But she doesn't!"
>You sit up and jab a finger in the stallion's face.
"You haven't seen the way she's been acting, dammit! In the last two days, she's winced or yelped in pain from a jump or trot and favored that cast at least twice, and every time she refused to admit she was hurting!"
>"This ain't the first time she hurt her legs, Anon. She's turned down work to recover before."
"Yeah, well has she ever turned down work for the last harvest of the season when the farm is already tight on money before?"
>"...Nope, but--"
"Dammit man, can't you see she's gonna do all the work she can no matter how bad it hurts? She cares more about the farm than she does her own health and safety!"
>Big Mac slowly shakes his head.
>"If she thinks she can help, we just ain't in any position to turn her away. I gotta trust she knows what she's doin'."
"Get out."
>He looks up at you, startled.
"You either aren't listening to me or don't give a shit about what I'm trying to say. Either way, it sure doesn't feel like family."
>"Now hold up--"
>You cut him off with a wave of your hand and slump back against the wall.
"It doesn't fucking matter anyways. Pissing off Applejack will probably turn the rest of her friends against me, and without them on my side, the townsponies will just continue hating and fearing me. Soon they'll probably demand I be sent back to Earth or exiled from Equestria."
>Big Mac whinnies, obviously startled at the cold truth of things.
"Don't worry, it's fine. Just leave me alone, alright? No doubt I'll be out of everyone's mane soon enough."
>"That... it ain't gotta be--"
>You cut him off with a sharp look.
"Look Mac, unless YOU can convince everypony I'm not dangerous, I'm fucked. Best you just go back to your life and stop worrying about me."
>Still, he hesitates.
>This damn stallion cares too much.
>Can't he see this will just hurt him in the long run?
4/10
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>>33319193
>"But... all ya gotta do is make up with Applejack to avoid all that, right?"
"Yeah well, tomorrow morning if she suddenly stops hating me and wants me back, that'll be great. Otherwise, just forget about me."
>He rubs the back of his head, face twisted with concern and indecision.
>You silently will him to just understand and go home.
>If he can't stop caring, you'll just have to make him hate you too.
>It'd hurt him less than if he cared about you getting exiled.
>"...Alright."
>You close your eyes and slump with relief.
>"I'll see you tomorrow morning after I talk to Applejack."
"Don't bother coming unless she specifically says she wants me to come back to the farm. In fact, promise me you won't."
>"...An' what if she don't, but me, Granny, and Apple Bloom do?"
>You shrug your shoulders.
"I just told you if Applejack doesn't, I'm fucked. Better the rest of you just try to forget about me since I'll be gone soon anyways."
>"I... alright, Anon. I 'spose yer right."
"Promise."
>He sighs.
>"I promise."
>You don't look up or respond as he stands and opens the door, but from the corner of your eye you see him pause in the open doorway.
>"See ya tomorrow."
>You don't respond and he sighs before finally leaving, the door closing gently behind him.
>You slump back against the wall and let out a weary sigh.
>A faint hope blooms in your chest.
>Tomorrow...

...

>The painful throbbing in your neck forces you to wake.
>Groggily, you sit up and try to massage your neck, but after a bit, you give up and rub the sleep from your face instead.
>With a start, you look around frantically for your clock.
>...It's after noon!?
"Fuck!"
>You're surprised nopony came by to drag you out of bed.
>And... why were you sleeping on the couch in the living room?
>You get up and start toward the bedroom.
>Then you see the small bag with the dandelion on the counter and suddenly remember everything.
5/10
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>>33319199
>You slump back onto the couch and stare at the clock.
>After noon... and Big Mac didn't come.
>Guess that's it, then.
>You sit there for a while, feeling numb.
>Eventually bodily functions force you to the bathroom, and you try - and fail - to avoid thinking about the bed or the shower.
>You shuffle back out and into the kitchen, then absently search for something to eat.
>In one cabinet you find a large bottle of hard apple cider you had forgotten about.
>You hesitate, not really wanting to taste apples at all, then grimace and reach for the bottle anyway, returning to the couch.
>Popping the cork out fills your nose with the scent of apples and you quickly tilt the bottle up and swallow a mouthful.
>The alcohol is surprisingly smooth and you immediately take another pull on the bottle.
>Looks like Applejack's last gift will be to numb your pain.
...
>The bundled blanket thuds against the wall and slides to the ground.
"Damn."
>You grab the pillow and struggle to pull the pillowcase off, then bunch it up and throw it at the hamper too.
>It catches the air and fluffs open, falling well short.
"Dammit!"
>You grab the sheet and yank it up.
>Wait, did you hear something?
>You slowly bundle up the sheet, then hear knocking on your door.
"Ugh..."
>You walk toward the living room, kicking the pillowcase and slam dunking the bundle of sheets in your hamper on the way.
>You hear more knocking.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!"
>You yank the door open and stare down at Twilight, who seems to be swaying slightly.
>"Hi Ano--"
"What do you want?"
>"Uh, I heard about Applejack and thought..."
>Her muzzle scrunches.
6/10
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>>33319202
>"Have you been drinking?"
"Yeah, so what?"
>She sighs and teleports away.
"That's right, just leave me alone."
>You shut the door and turn around.
>Twilight sitting on your couch makes you jump back and slam against the door.
>You stumble and a purple glow surrounds and catches you before you hit the ground.
"The fuck, Twi! Can't you just walk?"
>She smiles and her magic releases you once you're upright again.
>"Sorry, I thought you would hear me pop in behind you."
>You grunt and walk past her toward the kitchen.
>"So... are you alright? Anything I can do to help?"
"Wanna sic an evil Rainbow Dash on me again?"
>"...What? No, I--"
"That was real fucked up, y'know that?"
>"Well... you and Dash seemed to be getting along just fine when I found you."
>You grab the bottle of cider and turn to face her.
"Yeah, 'cause she felt like shit and explained everything, so I didn't blame her."
>You take a swig, then point the bottle at her.
"I blamed you. Real shitty of you."
>She looks down for a second, then back up at you.
>"You're right, and I'm sorry. I felt terrible as soon as Dash told me what happened."
"Mmm, felt terrible, huh?"
>You take another gulp of cider.
"How about instead of being a bitch and feeling bad about it later, just don't be a bitch in the first place?
>Her ears fold back angrily and she straightens in the seat.
>"Look, I needed to be sure you didn't have any violent tendencies in case somepony actually threatened you. Getting ponies to trust you would be near impossible if you actually attacked somepony, even if it was self-defense."
"And all those fucking magical tests when I first showed up and you froze me didn't test for that shit?"
>"Those aren't perfectly accurate. I needed to be certain!"
>You scoff and drink some more, making her bristle.
7/10
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>>33319209
>Then she closes her eyes and takes a long, slow deep breath.
>"I'm sorry, Anon. You're absolutely right, I've been treating you terribly."
>She looks up at you and smiles sheepishly.
>"I promise I won't do any more tests to make sure you're safe, okay? I just want to help you enjoy your life here in Ponyville."
>You bark a harsh laugh, startling her.
"I don't have a fucking life in Ponyville anymore."
>Her expression turns sad and pitying.
>"Oh, Anon... I know you loved Applejack, but this isn't the end of the world."
>You wave the bottle at her.
"How the fuck is anypony in town gonna trust me if Applejack hates me? Watch, a week from now they'll be demanding you send me back!"
>You look down at the bottle of cider and sigh.
"Ugh... I fucked up."
>"It's not that bad, Anon."
>You plop to the ground and poke the large wet spot on the floor.
"I spilled my fucking drink."
>The bottle in your hand suddenly glows and is jerks from your grasp.
>"You sound like you've had more than enough already."
"Hey, FUCK you!"
>You lunge for the bottle and it flashes and disappears.
>You slump dejectedly.
"How did this happen, Twi? Why did it go so wrong?"
>"It'll be okay, Anon... and don't worry, I won't send you back to Earth unless you want to go back."
"If everypony in town hates me you will."
>"Not if I still like you."
>You snort.
"I can't believe she did that. Can you believe it?"
>"Unfortunately, yes. She does tend to jump to conclusions and is quick to anger. I imagine her cycle just made that all worse."
"I was just trying to help! Now she's gone and ruined everything. Fucking bitch!"
>Twilight gasps and you run a hand through your hair.
8/10
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>>33319212
"Sorry, I just... the hell am I gonna do, Twi? She was the best thing that's ever happened to me. God... what have I done? I ruined everything!"
>You lean back and your head thumps against the wall below the counter.
"Should've fucking known this would happen. My whole life has been one long terrible joke, so of course this would all go horribly wrong!"
>Twilight hops down from the couch and walks over to you, but she's all blurry.
>You rub your eyes and when your hand comes away wet, you give a weak, mirthless laugh.
"And here I am blubbering about it like some kind of pussy. You'd think by now I'd have figured out I'm just not cut out for a happy life."
>She sits beside you and cautiously wraps a hoof around your shoulders.
>You lean into the hug as she extends a wing over you and you press your face into her mane, mumbling something incoherent.
>"Shh, don't worry. It'll be okay."
>You jerk your head away.
"Okay? How the fuck is it okay!"
>You shove her away and she stumbles, then sits down again.
"Don't you get it? Everything is fucked now! This was the best time of my life, and it's all fucked!"
>You leap to your feet and the room sways crazily.
>A purple glow surrounds you and you thrash.
"Put me down, dammit! Fuck you! Don't send me back, please! Twilight please, I'm so sorry... what have I done? Fuck!"
>You plop down onto the couch and immediately lean forward to stand again, but the glow pushes you back.
>"Anon, you're very drunk. Please sit down and try to relax."
"Leave me alone, you cunt! And give me back my drink!"
>"Alright, well... Look, I'm really sorry about this, but I'll be right back, I promise."
>Magical cords suddenly appear around you and pin your arms and legs, then Twilight teleports away.
9/10
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>>33319215
"Hey! HEY! Get back here you piece of shit! TWILIGHT!"
>You try to lean forward but the ropes are completely locked in place.
"Dammit!"
>You wiggle and strain against the cords but they refuse to give even an inch.
>Then Twilight suddenly reappears with a flash, a book floating beside her.
"Bitch! Let me go!"
>She ignores you and opens the book.
"The fuck are you doing! Why can't you just leave me alone?"
>She turns toward you, her face grim, and her horn starts glowing.
>A sick fear wrenches your gut.
"Wait, no, please! I'm sorry! Twilight please, don't send me back!"
>The glow around her horn intensifies and you begin to sob.
"Twilight I'm begging you, please, I'll do anything!"
>Her horn seems to pop and a surge of energy flows toward you.
"NO!"
>Then all goes black.
10/10
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>>33319219
A nice, happy update for the Christmas season, right?

Let me know how much you hate it :)

https://pastebin.com/fFDLGj9H

And don't worry, she didn't really send him back.
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>>33318945
Magic bleach
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>>33318945
>How did Anonymous get to Equestria?
He got there by authorial fiat.
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>>33318945
Fell into the toilet while drunk
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>>33319226
A revealing, character driven update that I really dislike and you're scaring me now Maonyman. I look forward to Anon's and AJ's reconciliation.
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>>33319485
Why is the first thing that came to mind was a Punto with a laptop
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>>33306051
Father knows Beast

>You heard how it had turned out with Spike's fake dad.
>It brought two things to mind. First that Fresh Prince episode about Will's dad.
>Whole thing kind of panned out the same way. Except Twilight is Uncle Phil.
>The second thing was that you saw it all coming.
>Ponies aren't naive. But they are trusting, innocent and always think the best of others.
>By contrast you can see bad intentions a mile away and you know why.
>It's cause you're human, you've seen all kinds of evil shit. Even if it was just in tv shows.
>The entire fake dad thing has left you with some doubts.
>Perhaps a we bit of an existential crisis. You know evil too well. Now you're not quite sure of your own goodness or evilness anymore.
>"Anonymous. I know you're feeling down and as much as I like a good hug, it's been six hours. I have to go feed Opal and pick Sweetie Belle up from her Clubhouse."
>"Can't let you go Rarity, the void is staring at me and I can't stop staring back."
>>
I probably won't see you guys on Christmas, but maybe I will, I dunno. Anyway, I made you a thing as a present or something. Here:

>Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
>Here in AiE
>To you anons:
>You’re not completely shit, to me

>Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
>Although OP’s gay.
>To mandroid,
>Maon, He-Anon, 8th, and HK.

>Here we are as in olden days,
>Back when writers weren’t so few
>Faithful writefags, we summon thee
>To give us more stories about “>You”

>Through the years
>We faggots stuck together,
>Reading of ponies to plow.
>The fandom’s dying, but here we all still are somehow!
>So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1COkBj5F5Uw

My throat is garbage due to something that may be becoming strep, and I can't hold a long note in a bucket at the moment. But here you go anyway. Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
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>>33322099
Damn, if you sang that well with "something that may be becoming strep," you must have a really lovely voice. Lyrics are bittersweet as fuck, too.

Merry Christmas, faggot.

Also "mao" is supposed to rhyme with wow, but I'm used to it
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>>33322147
Ah, sorry for my confusion. Not gonna re-record or anything, but still sorry.
I feel the same way when someone pronounces it "Ayninpencil"
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>>33322099
>mentioning me through song
Congrats, you've now contracted the gay.

And now for Moonie.
>"HAPPY HEARTH'S WARMING!"
>The shrill shriek of delight comes across more as the great big horn the barbarian horde would blow before an ambush as Moonie leaps into the air and huddles into a ball before landing with extreme force onto your sleeping gut.
>You're unable to get a word out as all the air was forced out upon impact but you jolt enough to fall out of bed.
>"You okay?" Moonie cackles.
>Opening your eyes to groan and complain, you find yourself surrounded by the dark.
"What time is it?"
>"Like 1:00 am."
"Why did you wake me then?"
>"Cause it's Hearth's Warming and I want to open my presents."
"You know, normal families do this when the sun is up?"
>"What part of us is normal? There's you human from another world and me a millennia old tyrant trapped in the form of a filly. Oh, and there's the freeloader."
>Still laying face down on the ground, you spy in the corner of your eye Trixie, eating away at a peanut butter cup.
>"If you're up, Trixie demands to know if we are opening gifts."
>"YES! We are because that's two against one," Moonie jumps with glee on your bed.
"Since when did you follow the democratic way?"
>"Since it helps me get my way but if that doesn't work then get your smelly butt up because I want to open presents."
>With a squeal Moonie leaps off the bed and scampers down the hall.
>"Trixie will see you out there."
"Thanks," you grumble as you try to pick your weary body off the floor.
>Shuffling about, you get into the lounge room to slump into your chair.
>Moonie flicks on the tree lights which is a little blinding at first with all it's coloured hues.
>You look the gaudy thing over.
>>
>>33322404
>It looks like a simple tree at first, if you take a very quick glance at it from the periphery; with tinsel, lights, and baubles. Sitting at the top is a skull, grinning there instead of anything even remotely traditional. Not a real one of course, a resin one though it looks kind of real at a glance.
>And because Moonie got her way with an addition, Trixie had to get one. So she had her name spelt out in the lights. Naturally then Moonie wanted her name too.
>But that meant Moonie got two things.
>So Trixie put a wizard hat much like her own on top of the skull.
>Then Moonie got upset because her item was meant to be the highest thing on the tree.
>Even the memory of the argument those two had over three days is giving you a headache.
>At some point they also decided to put your name in the tree, though you're not sure when and you're not about to ask when or why. It is kind of a nice thing for them to decide to do and you don't want to ruin that.
>"Me first," Moonie shouts.
>"What? No fair. Just for that, the generous and patient Trixie should go first."
>Moonie pokes her tongue out but before Trixie can rise to the bait, you step in.
"How about we all open a gift each."
>You hand each a present which neither wastes a second in tearing apart.
>Trixie gets her's out first. '1001 magic tricks! Including 25 props!' the box reads. She smiles at you and says thank you which is muffled under the maniacal laughter from Moonie.
>'1,000 toy soldiers' her box reads.
>"THE ARMY HATH ASSEMBLED!"
>"No, you have to do that," Trixie points out with glee.
>This deflates Moonie a little.
>"Really? What are sprues?" she asks as she looks at what Trixie is pointing to.
>"You assemble the bits yourself and paint them. You can even mix and match these yourself," you shrug in an attempt to hide your unease at her sudden lack of interest, "Who knows, you could make one big army or make several."
>This brightens her up a bit.
>>
>>33322407
>"Well... This makes it difficult. One legion under my banner would seem to be the best option but then what force would be the opposition."
"Good point."
>"Yes, for what point is there in a warrior without war?!"
>Moonie continues to monologue as you unwrap your gift which just so happens to be a joint gift from the two.
>And it's as if a golden light was shining from the box within as a broad smile stretches your jaw to the limit.
>You got exactly what you wanted.

https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt @line 1564
>>
>>33322404

That implies I wasn't already supergay for you, bby.
>>
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>>33322099
It seems like a short list of names until you realise every green thread is AIE and the place is still crawling with those fagmosexual namefags and their filthy meme arrows.
>>
>>33322099
>Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
>>
>>33322407
Goddamnit, Moonie. You've got one hell of a disconcerting smile.
>>
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>>33322147
>that pic
>>
>>33322047
Enjoyable tidbits as always. Thanks He-Anon.

>>33322147
Awesome pic. It's probably for the best if Buttercup and Bright Mac don't see how AJ is treating her stallion right now.

>>33322099
Merry Christmas to you too anonpecil.

>>33322410
Cute Moonie doing cute stuff. Thanks 8th!
>>
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>>33320759
I'm gonna take that as a compliment :D Don't worry, we'll be back to happy and comfy....... eventually.

>>33322178
Oh sure, I never expected you to re-record or anything, just thought I'd take the opportunity to point it out.

>>33323375
>>33324472
I KNOW! I love it so much. Don't miss the adorable tiny baby apple bloom in Pear Butter's forelegs! Also here's my other favorite family pic (I actually used this one in my story, near the beginning)
>>
>>33324832
>tiner Appleblom
Looks like I won't be home for Christmas
>>
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>>33324832
>I'm gonna take that as a compliment...
First Anon here. It is. Good writing effects emotion from the reader and man did you effect some emotion from me there. Anon's confusion, anger & despair came through the text very well. I wanted to reach through the screen and smack the back of his head before he does something rash.
>>
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The diamond dog cleansing has begin Anon, can I trust you to join ponykind in expelling these thieving mongrels from out lands?
>>
>>33326505
Link to your pastebin pls
>>
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>>
Merry Christmas, AiE. Here's to another year of autism.
>>
>>33328695
no u
>>
Happy Hearths Warming you weirdos.
>>
>>33297495
put that hat back
>>
>>33329029
no no u
>>
>>33328695
How do you guys imagine Anon spending Heart's Warming Eve in Equestria?
>>
>>33329378
Like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2nN-Yrt1EU
>>
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>>33329378
Frisbee tossing it
>>
Merry Hearth'smas & Happy Christwarming, friends!
>>
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>>33330075
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>>33322047
School Raze

It's your annual Everfree Human's Only Camping Trip. One week with just you and the wilderness.
In future it may have to be more frequent, some of your camping skills have gotten rusty.
You are currently leaning over the firepit trying to get a damn spark to fucking catch.
"Come on you bastard fire, light. Light damn you. LIGHT!"
A blast of fire rockets upward, causing you to fall backwards off your seat in what totally wasn't pants wetting terror.
"What the hell was that." You monologue as you slowly go mad from isolation and begin talking to yourself.
Is the moss you used for kindling made of magnesium or something.
"Whatever, I have fire." As the last syllable leaves your mouth, your campfire suddenly blazes, flaring six feet high.
Ok then. Clearly there's something in that moss after all.
"Maybe just for safety, I should get some water." There's a loud splash as water appears from nowhere flooding the firepit.
What the flying the fuck is going on here. Maybe you should...
"Fire." The fire blazes to life again, sputtering and hissing on the wet wood.
"Water." Another splash and the fire out again.
"Good gravy I'm a fucking wizard."
And now your thoroughly ruined firepit has gravy in it.
>>
>>33334954
----------------------24 Hours Later-----------------------
>Yep, you're definitely a wizard. But you swore you'd be responsible with your new powers.
>You may have conjured up fancy new clothes.
>Some better camping gear.
>Adjusted the local weather a little bit.
>Fired lightning from your eyes and fireballs from your arse.
>And you did animate a small tree to help carry your things.
>But you drew the line at a giant walking house.
>That would be going mad with power. And you're a responsible wizard adult.
----------------------One Week Later-----------------------
>"What ah want to know is where all the magic was going."
>"Starlight said it was flowing out of Equestria."
>"That's what ah mean, where in tarnation is that?"
>[Pokerface Intensifies] No one must ever know.

And that concludes season 8 of MLP: Friendship Involves Anon. https://pastebin.com/Vct2bPj3
Now I can get my lazy ass back to writing proper stories.
>>
>"Anon, why do you have all these pictures of other ponies' kids on your walls?
"Came with the frames."
>"Zigga you lazy"
>>
>>33334962
Thanks He-Anon.
>>
>>33334971
Is Anon going to take that, or is he going to dial 1-800-ZIGGA-PLS?
>>
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>>33336457
Yes
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>>33337002
why
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Is it too late to tell HK that I love him?
>>
>>33340095
yes.
>>
>>33339937
shes so fucking cute
>>
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>>33340194
>>
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>>33308943
AiE Skype chat was a thing that had a few off-shoots like a failed VR attempt. You were supposed to go through a dating sim type game where you would spend time with one mane 6 more than the others and develop more of a relationship over a calendar year. Set holiday events would mean you'd miss out on 5 of 6 options from who you decided to hang out with. Pic attached was concept art for one of Anon's early visits to Cloudsdale to see Rainbow Dash. He didn't plan out transport very well and just fucked off into the sky with some balloons, lazily drifting upwards.

When Discord came out, a lot of people stopped using Skype, me included, and that did a hard blow to the AiE chat. Might still be around.

I did enjoy developing the Anon is scared of bees sub-arc of Fluttershy's arc. Bumblebees in Equestria were made to be this big, stupid things that would wander around aimlessly, bumping into things at low speeds. They had these large, Ditto-like stupid smiles, but still scared the crap out of Anon. Fluttershy ends up dressing as a bee for Nightmare Night and Anon has to deal with it when he comes to visit.
>>
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>>33309338
Flutterrape came from Fetishy. Fetishy is 1 day younger than Rainbro. The first thread that was more open-forum, AiE style, is 3 days younger than Fetishy.
>>
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>>33340095
Is it too late to tell you I too hold deep affections for you?

>>33322099
I know I'm late to the party, but very nicely done. A-anything slated for new years?

>>33297757
Semper fi, do or die.

>>33301093
We did indeed have the very best this season. I do hope the same held true of you.

>>33303117
I admire your commitment to bug slaughter. I guess I'm pretty good at my job then, huh?

>>33314225
Happy to hear you're still enjoying it, even after that long break of yours.
>do you have a colour or design reference for exact and razor?
I'm afraid that design has never been a particularly strong suit of mine. Best I've got for you is a vague colour palette of gray coat and blue hair for Razor and orange coat and darker orange hair for Exact.
>>
>>33341572

Nothing planned for new years day. I've been recovering from what was indeed strep, so I haven't done much but battle a fever, be in pain, and stay in bed. Still recovering even now. But for some time in January? A bunch of shitposts, something Broken Bindings related maybe, and one... depressing story, I think. Berry punch related.

As far as more songs and stuff, don't hold your breath.
>>
>>33341659
I wish you health, and happiness, and comfort, anonpencil.
>>
>>33341659
>I've been recovering from what was indeed strep,

Well, please don't die. You still owe us free entertainment.
>>
>>33341717
I'm still waiting on a sequel to that exploding testicles story
>>
>>33341197
Say hi to dashisbestpone for me.
>>
>>33341736
>Exploding Testicles 2
>Electric Booga-BOOM
>you are Anon
>your testicles just exploded
>you have been propelled into the air by the force
>was that Cloudsdale you just passed?
>leaving Equestria's atmosphere
>headed for the moon
>crash into moon
>look over and see "Nightmare Moon was here" scribbled on a rock
>don't die because lol cartoon logic
>now you have no gonads and are stuck on the moon
>sadtrumpet_wahwahwah.mp3
>bad end
>>
>>33342215
Thanks anon my hole has been filled
>>
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>>33342226
>"my hole"
>implying there are grills on the Interwebitron
>>
>>33342307
Umm... anon... men have anuses too.
>>
>>33342313
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/c9546242-941f-4392-bd60-e821e765885c
>>
Sup, errybody?

New chapter is up for my "Hello, World" story.

This chapter is dragging along slower than I expected it to, but hey, this chapter has Anon's namedrop!

These chapters still feel kinda short to me, but I'm pretty sure that's my own weird personal preference. Personal preferences and all that being said, I think this will be the last chapter I don't post in the threads. Sooo... look forward to that, if you're digging the story so far, I guess.

There's a kind of tone shift towards the end of the chapter? Maybe? I'm going to try and maintain the tone I have set up I think, but it may start naturally shifting later on. It's not quite the tone I intended when I started, but hey, it kinda works, right?

Anywho, the links:
Story: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/398409/hello-world
Chapter: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/398409/3/hello-world/hw-3-discovery-first-contact

I'll put this on pastebin I swear.
Eventually.

As always, any thoughts, critique or feedback in general is appreciated!
>>
>>33342557
I read it. Not bad. I'll keep reading it should you continue.
>>
>>33342215
I'm proud of you today.
>>
>>33343061
Oh gosh.

I guess it's true. A love of exploding genitalia truly is what binds us all together here. Ponies too, but mainly exploding genitalia.
>>
>>33342557
Neat
>>
>>33341572
>I admire your commitment to bug slaughter. I guess I'm pretty good at my job then, huh?
You’ve played up Shitter’s edgy ruminations about murdering Anon so much that there’s literally no way this could go well for her. And you would need twice as many pastebins as you have now to make any sort of “reformation” seem natural. She's gotta go.
>>
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>the tuftening
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>>33344981
poni acting like birb will never not be adorable
>>
>Brush.
>Rinse.
>Floss.
>Rinse.
>Mouthwash.
>Floss again.
>And rinse.
>Every morning and night, like clockwork.
>You go through the routine on autopilot, effortlessly.
>Not because you personally feel the need to floss four times a day, but because it’s important to her.
>But also because after all this time it would feel weird if you didn’t.
>Damn horse.

>You switch off the lights and roll into bed.
>All things considered, there’s no place you’d rather be.
>A full year has passed since she took you in. Long enough to adjust.
>Crazy how, if you live with someone long enough, they eventually rub off on you. No matter how much you resist. And you’ll wonder why you ever resisted being rubbed off on in the first place.

>You’re just beginning to drift off to sleep when a crack of light intrudes into your room.
>Colgate stands in the doorway.
“Hey. What’s up?”
>She doesn’t answer.
>Without saying a word, the blue pony sidles up to the side of your bed and struggles a little to climb up onto the mattress.
“Need something? Colgate? Uh...”
>She places her hooves on either side of you and gets closer. The weight of her body settles on top of you.
>You try to speak, but there are no words coming to your sleep-addled mind.
>Your faces are inches apart. Bright blue eyes look down at you. Her intoxicatingly fresh breath fills the air.
>And your lips connect.
>Her saliva tastes like fresh burst listerine.
>Your hand is on her back without any memory of putting it there. You feel her hips move.
>Your mouths part and leave you gasping for air, and you freeze.
>You suddenly feel like you’re being watched.

1/8
>>
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>>33345994

>A quick scan of the room confirms it. Standing in the corner by the window is the princess of dreams, wearing an unamused expression.
>Oh.
>Oh shit.
“This isn’t what it looks like! Thi- I- I’m having a nightmare!”
>Dream Colgate nods enthusiastically.
>Luna rolls her eyes. “I don’t care about your interspecies sex dreams. Trust me, I see a lot worse.”
>You shake your head frantically.
“It’s not- We’re not-”
>”We don’t do anything lewd like share a toothbrush or anything!” says Dream Colgate.
“Yeah! Exactly! We’re normal- I’m normal!”
>Luna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Look, I’m here because it’s my job. If you don’t need anything, I’ll be going.”
“...Okay.”
>She leaves through the bedroom door.
>A silence fills the room.
>Dream Colgate looks at you and shrugs.
>”So, do you want to keep going or…?”

>You awake to the painfully loud beeping of your alarm clock. It sounds like a truck backing up.
>To have Princess Luna watching you in your dreams feels like a serious violation of privacy, but at least you have the comfort of knowing you’ll probably never have to cross paths with her in real life.
>Who does she think she is, trying to interpret your dreams like that?
>You take a moment to relax in the safety of your bed. Nothing’s changed. It doesn’t matter.
>It will be a normal day after all.

>At that moment, a wrecking ball crashes through your bedroom window and takes out two walls of your room, knocking your bed over in the process.
>You fall hard onto the floor as splinters of wood and drywall rain down on you.
>In full panic, you scramble on to your feet, narrowly avoid the 4 ton steel ball as it pulls back, and climb over the rubble to get to the hallway when it swings again, demolishing the other half of your room.
>You half-fall down the stairs and regain your balance at the bottom as repeating blows takes out what’s left of the upper story of your house.

2/8
>>
>>33346002

>Running out the front door, you find an entire demolition team on your front lawn.
“STOP! FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”
>The wrecking ball swings at the house and destroys the top of your kitchen.
“THIS IS OUR FUCKING HOUSE! STOP!”
>The foreman pony lazily motions to the operator of the machine to stop, and walks over to you.
>”All right, mister. What are you screaming about?”
“I live here, you fucking asshole! You can’t do this!”
>”There’s been a notice of demolition pinned to the door since September.”
>He motions over to the front door of your house, where Colgate emerges levitating a steaming cup of coffee in front of her.
>The foreman makes a good point. You were evicted in the Fall, and had been meaning to contest it since then. You were also guilty of ignoring the notice every time you left or entered the house. Procrastination got the better of you.
“You could have killed us!”
>Colgate hands you the coffee.
“Thanks.”
>The foreman signals to the wrecking ball operator to start it up again. ”Not my problem, mister. You wanna do something about it, talk to the mayor.”
>Colgate’s eyes go wide. “Ooh. We forgot.”
>The machine rumbles back to life and continues reducing the house to a pile of wood scraps. In a few short minutes, everything is gone. Your home has never looked worse.

3/8
>>
>>33346016

>Standing outside in your underwear on a cold winter morning makes it difficult to concentrate on the loss, though. When the crew has left, the two of you scrounge through the wreckage for anything you can salvage. The remains of your dresser are here somewhere.
“We can’t talk to the mayor now, Colgate. She’s responsible for this! She wants to drive us out of town.”
>”Do we want our house back, Annie?”
“Of course!”
>Colgate triumphantly pulls a pink toothbrush from beneath some broken bathroom tiles.
>”Well, the only other option is to talk to somepony higher up than the mayor, like Princess Celestia.”
>You find what you’re looking for in a pile of broken glass and wood framing. A pair of pants.
“Celestia? Are you crazy? I’ve never had an encounter with her where she didn’t try to kill me.”
>”Okay. Princess Luna then?”
...
“Let’s try our luck with Celestia.”

-

>After reclaiming what you can from the house, namely clothing, toiletries, and bags to carry them in, you head to Ponyville central railway station only to discover that you’d missed the first train to Canterlot by five minutes.
>With plenty of time to kill, and nearby businesses starting to open for the day, you and Colgate decide to go for breakfast.

4/8
>>
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>>33346021

>You soon find yourself crammed into a pony sized booth at an all breakfast diner.
>”We can use our retirement money to absorb the cost of reconstruction, it’s just getting back our property...”
“If the princess won’t solve that problem then no one will.”
>Colgate shoves a forkful of french toast into her mouth and chews thoughtfully.
“On a completely different note, I’m proud of you for how kind you’ve been the staff here. I’ve never seen you thank anyone in a customer service job before. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
>Colgate’s face lights up while she finishes chewing.
>“Thanks! Maybe having you to talk to all the time is socializing me. Maybe your weak and passive nature is rubbing off on me.”
“I’m gonna let that slide.”
>”Or maybe it’s just that they got my order right, did you notice they didn’t sprinkle any sugar on my food! I wouldn’t be so nice if they threatened my dental health.”
“It wouldn’t kill you.”
>Colgate bares her teeth and gestures toward her mouth.
>”You don’t get enamel like this by making compromises! I’d rather die!”
>She takes a sip of water.
“You ever think your obsession with health might be a little unhealthy?”
>”That doesn’t even make sense.”

5/8
>>
>>33346027

>After breakfast, you pass the rest of the time you have with a snowball fight, then you and Colgate finally board a late morning train bound for the royal capital.

>From the window of the train, you watch Ponyville shrink away into the distance.
>Colgate nudges you.
>”Anon, we don’t have to go back, you know. If things don’t work out. I’ve burnt bridges in Ponyville. Nopony there likes me. Maybe this is time for a fresh start.”
“Wouldn’t you miss it?”
>”Yeah...”
>She looks wistfully at the town. “It’s where I met you. But I haven’t always lived there.”
“No?”
>”I’m from Canterlot, originally. That’s where I grew up. I even had friends there… sort of.”
>The train rattles over a bumpy bit of track.
>You rest a hand on Colgate’s head.
“What would you prefer?”
>She smiles.
>”Ponyville. It’s just... it’s not that important. It’s only a place.”
>Feeling slightly better, you sigh deeply and loosen up a little.
>You sit in silence for a while, the morning sun casting long shadows that flicker through the moving carriage.
“Hey. You know that wherever you go, I’ll go along with you.”
>She giggles.
>”Promise?”
“Sure.”
>She snuggles up against you.
>You hope the train ride could last a little longer.

6/8
>>
>>33346035

>The train breaks down on the way to Canterlot.
>What was supposed to be a three and a half hour trip turns into countless hours stuck on the track waiting for repairs.
>The time drags on; you’re bored out of your skull.
>With nothing else to do, Colgate keeps retreating to the bathroom to floss.
>But finally, around noon, the train starts moving again.
>By the time you pull into Canterlot station, most of the day has passed by
>The two of you decide to find a hotel, and to head to the palace as soon as you get settled.
>Again and again, you find all of the hotels within a reasonable distance are fully booked, apparently there’s some kind of upcoming event.
>Ponies have travelled here and filled up the hotels just to witness one of Celestia’s speeches.
>You end up brushing your teeth in the bathroom of one of the nicer hotel’s lobbies.
>Time after time, you’re turned away until you at last have some luck at a dingy hostel late in the evening.

>”Do you have a reservation?” The receptionist asks without looking up from her magazine.
“No. We don’t”
>Colgate peers over the desk. “Do you have a room or don’t you?”
>The receptionist takes her eyes away from the magazine for a second.
>”You’re in luck. We have one room left. You sure you want it?”
>She tosses you the room key without waiting for an answer, and goes back to reading.

7/8
>>
>>33346041

>Down the hall and to the left, you find your room.
>The key barely fits in the lock, and you’re almost convinced there’s a mistake, but after a bit of struggle it turns and lets the door open.
>The room is… not that bad,
>To your surprise, the floor looks vacuumed, the sink is clean enough, the bed is made-
>The one bed.
>You set your bag down on the floor.
“You can have the bed, Colgate. I’ll just sleep down here.”
>”Don’t be silly, I’ll sleep on the floor if you don’t want to share.”
“Share what?”
>”The bed.”
>You laugh nervously.
“No, no. No.”
>You lay on the floor to prove how comfortable you are.
>Colgate sets down her own bag next to yours with a loud thump, passes by the bed and comes up beside it.
>”I’m sleepy, Anon. Do you wanna go to the palace first thing tomorrow?”
>She lays down next to you on the floor, resting her head against your arm.
“But our house…”
>”That’s yesterday’s news.”
“It happened today. 14 hours ago.”
>Colgate levitates the covers off the bed and drops them on top of you.
>She’s asleep within seconds.
>Maybe it can wait until tomorrow.

-

Happy almost New Years!
https://pastebin.com/yrd6S5pX
>>
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>>33297495
>>
>>33346186
>ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA
>>
Who the fuck is Zuul?
>>
>>33346234
Anon is OP, pls nerf.


>>
>>33347103
His soundtrack gives him super strength!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT6LFOIofRE
>>
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>>33347103
I wouldnt be so sure Anon
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>>33346917
Gozer's gatekeeper.
>>
>>33346058
Nice. This is one of my favorite AiE stories and I'm glad to see it updated. Is it just me or are things getting kind of dire for these two? Even Colgate seemed to be acting oddly mature this time.

I want to know what kind of lewd things Luna sees regularly in others dreams
>>
>>33349010
All of them. ALL.
>>
>>33349408
Considering that sex dreams tend to be effected by the same dream logic as everything else, Luna's probably seen some strange shit
>>
>>33350014
>tfw you realize this is why she became NMM and tried to destroy the world
>"Good morning, Lulu."
>"FUCK. YOU."
>"Bad night?"
>"I've seen things you ponies wouldn't believe. Spanked buttocks on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've seen sequined panties glitter in the darkness near the Green Door. All these memories, all these moments, should be lost in time, like tears in rain. I need a drink."
>"It's not healthy to start drinking this early in the morning."
"FUCK. YOU."
>>
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>>33350312
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>>33349010
Thank you very much. I'm thinking of ending the story with a couple more chapters. The first one I wrote was a new years story (2014), so I was trying to finish by tonight but writing is hard.

>>33349408
>>33350014
>>33350312
That is exactly what I was thinking. Who wouldn't go a little crazy?

>>33346917
Zuul, motherfucker, Zuul.
>>
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>>33352115
Referencing this in 2019?

Yikes
>>
>>33352189
was he one of the ones who died? or one of the ones that got buttmad, nuked their bin and quit forever?
>>
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>>33353904
You too
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>You're woken by terrific bang and as you blink away the sleep, it's followed by another and another.
>Moving to the window you see the moon is at the highest point in the sky.
>You also see what's causing the noise. Somepony is letting off fireworks.
>And you're going to put a stop to it, nopony can just wake up an entire town in the middle of the night and expect to get away with it.
>Especially a princess with research to do in the morning.
--------------A short flight later-------------
>You've reached the source of the fireworks. It's Anon sitting next to a big pile of them.
>"Anon?"
>"Oh, Twilight. I didn't see you there."
>"Anon what are you doing?!"
>"It's new years. I think."
>Anon begins explaining a human holiday, how they mark the beginning of the new year with a party and fireworks at midnight on the last day of the old year.
>How he wasn't sure when it was anymore, so he just decided on a week after Hearths Warming.
>"I suppose you're here to shut me down."
>He looks so downcast.
>"Well we could have used some warning."
>You can see a growing crowd of ponies arriving to investigate like you did.
>"But I don't think anypony will turn down a fireworks display."
>>
>>33355380
Happy New Year, you madman.
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>>33357728
>ywn be this hugged.
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>>33359428
shhh, sleep
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I think I have an old unfinished thing for this somewhere
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update when
>>
>tfw no Moonie
>>
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>"Ponka Season!"
>"Catbird Season."
>"Ponka Season!"
>"Catbird Season!"
>"Ponka Season!!!"
>"Ponka Season!'
>"Catbird Season!!!"
>"Ponka Season!"
>"CATBIRD SEASON!!! FIRE!!!"
BLAM
>...
>...
>"I hate you."
>>
>>33365281
kek, I hadn't seen that one before.
>>
>>33365281
Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm booping ponies.
>>
>>33365786
Whoa there
>>
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>"Moonie, what are you sulking in here for?"
>The linen closet door swings open revealing Trixie.
"How'd you know I was in here?"
>"Magic," she shrugs.
"You know locator magic?" Actually a little impressed... Well, very impressed but you mask it well enough so she'd only think you're a little impressed.
>Then she takes the corner of a sheet that was poking out from under the door and tucks it in.
>"Yeah, sure. Anyway, come check check this out."
>Trixie smiles before wandering off and there was something in it that has you curious. It wasn't a regular kind of happy though you're unable to place what it is exactly. Trixie leads you into backyard where her wagon sits. As the two of you enter, you're hit with the great musky smell of a room that has had someone in it for days without airing.
"You do have windows, right?"
>Trixie lifts her nose and sniffs.
>"Huh, guess the studious and Trixie didn't really notice it till now," she laughs like she's enjoying it, "That's pretty bad."
>The two of you immediately set about opening the place up, even leaving the door open before Trixie gestures you over to a cauldron. It's the kind of cauldron you'd expect to see in some fairytale book with a witch over it almost.
>"Trixie found this spell in one of Twilight's books. It lets you see other possibilities."
"Thought you could find a world where you're successful?" you jeer.
>"Careful, or the generous and unforgiving Trixie will not let you see what she found."
>Curious you raise a brow, knowing full well that Trixie could never let a silence go by without filling it with boasting.
>"While looking into the infinite universe's woven web of possibilities, I, Trixie, found a universe where you and Anon have your roles reversed."
"What?!"
>>
>"Yeah. You Nightmare Moon are the adult and Anonymous the child."
"How did that happen?"
>"Well, I was going from one probability--"
"I don't care about the spell, I want to know how I could, as an adult, adopt some ugly little alien from another world?"
>Trixie shrugs, "I can't exactly look into the past and future in these scenarios. It all carries out as if it's another world like ours and I've not overheard anyone talk about it."
>You click your tongue in frustration. That'd be something interesting but you press Trixie onward to get her moment of self-appreciation out of the way before looming over the cauldron to watch.

-----

>"ANONYMOUS!"
>The house is silent. The adult Nightmare Moon rolls her eyes as she walks into a room full of toys spread out all over the floor. Using her magic she scoops them up to dump into a chest before searching.

-----

"Ugh, that me spoils him way too much."
>Trixie just rolls her eyes, refusing to comment on the fact that you have just as many toys as kid Anon.
>"Just watch."

-----

>"Bath," bellows Nightmare Moon as she lifts up the bed to find a gleefully screaming human child.
>"Only if you give me a donut."
>"HA! Like I'd fall for that again."
>"For a snack."
>"We both know you wouldn't eat it. Now, bath."
>The human gets up to scurry away as Nightmare Moon watches but the second he turns the wrong direction she lifts him up with magic and carries him like that.
>"Magic is cheating," he chimes in one of those irritating sing-song ways.
>Once he is placed down in the bathroom Nightmare Moon glares at him. He smiles sheepishly then begins to undress as Nightmare Moon closes the door. She sighs.
>"When is dinner?" asks a familiar voice, "Trixie is hungry."

-----

"WHAT?! Will we never be rid of you?" You screech at Trixie from across the cauldron.
>The mare just stares unenthusiastic ally at you.
"Oh, settle down. It was just a joke."
>The stare continues.
"Fine, I'll shut up and watch."
>>
-----

>Once dinner is ready, the three sit down and eat. You're not sure what it is they're eating. It's like a sludge with various oddities floating about along a side of something leafy. One one hand it's funny knowing that your creative cooking skills are universal but on the other hand you're a little annoyed at the other you for whatever that is.
>"HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" Trixie screams.
>"ANON! Stop picking your nose."
>A thick pale green glob comes out on his finger as he grins at Trixie.
>"The doctor says it's good for my immune system," he continues to grin as he slowly brings closer to his mouth, all the while other Trixie is yelling no over and over.
>"If you're so hungry, eat what's in front of you," scolds Nightmare Moon as she magics over a tissue to wipe off the nugget.
>But as soon as Nightmare Moon turns away, Anon's finger goes right back up. Trixie naturally yells about it but the finger is out as soon Nightmare even turns to look.

-----

>"What's going on in here?" Says Anon as he wanders into the wagon.
"I'm realising how I'm glad I am that I'm not the parent here."
>"And why is that?" He asks, slightly offended.
"Cause then I'd be the one with those circles under your eyes. You're exhausting as a child."
>"You wanna explain?" He asks Trixie.
>She rolls her eyes then takes the opportunity to boast about herself, this time leaving out the part where she got it from one of Twilight's books. Then Anon watches with you. Occasionally when adult you does something annoying you indulge the urge to point out his equivalent of it or how he does the same thing. Like making you go to bed when you're not tired. So he in turn points out every time kid him does something annoying what your version of that is. Except the nose picking thing. That nastiness all him it seems.

https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt @line 1616
>>
>>33366911
>>
>>33366911
A dose of Reality Scrying. Thanks for the update 8th!
>>
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>>33366911
Mah abbo
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>>33367739
>The look on Angels face.
>>
>>33369502
>dat necc
>>
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>>33370553
Longcelly is loooooooooooooooong
>>
>>33370553
Alicorns are part swan. It's why they honk at Anon when he goes too near their castles.
>>
>>33372520
>they honk at Anon when he goes too near their castles
I think they want to communicate, Anon should honk back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf_mi7AT8xQ
>>
>"What you got there Twilight?"
>"Oh just some genealogy stuff. It's just a research hobby, sometimes I try to find out for certain if Pinkie and Applejack are actually related."
>"Fair enough."
>Twilight looks up at you with a curious expression.
>"Anon, do you have any family history?"
>"Sort of. I periodically reincarnate, so it's me but also kind of not. Let me show you."
>You pull out a small photo album from the hammerspace that is your back pocket. Thanks for that one Pinkie.
>Twilight sits so close, she's practically in your lap. But that's what happens when you show her new books.
>"Here's me before Equestria was founded. Or my 'a lot of greats', grandfather."
>You show her a picture of carving of a Conan-esque barbarian green man.
>Flipping forward a few pages to an Anon in Roman armor.
>"This one was just before the founding of Equestria. Pretty sure the Pegasi stole my armor designs."
>The next is a piece of tapestry depicting a knightly Anon.
>"This was the one after that."
>You flip to the back page, a sepia photo of The Man with No Name Or Face. A banana in his holster.
>"And this was the previous time."
>Closing the book you stand to leave. A hoof grabs your arm.
>"Wait! We didn't see the other photos."
>"I'll come by this evening Twilight. Got some shopping to do right now. I'm all out of bananas."
>>
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>"pleh-sease, you're not that awesome anon. You can't fly or even do magic!"
"Oh yeah skittles? Check this shit."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xLZ2ObwauEE&t=2m33s
>
>>
>>33373644
A backflip is also acceptable.
>>
Does Filly Nightmare Moon have any romance (with non-fillies!) or serious aspects to it? Or is it just nice fluff
>>
>>33374464
Like 70% fluff. There's no romance but there is some serious stuff all relating to her growing up or like the time Anon needed a new job that is mixed in but it is mostly just fluff.
>>
>>33374473
Hmm alright, thank ya kindly
>>
>>33373848
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxPWPzk7MA4
>"HEY, YOU'RE THAT ANONYMOUS GUY FROM THE NEWSPAPER!"
"CALL ME ANON!"
>"OKAY ANON, DO A FLIP!"
*flip*
>"YEAH!"
>>
>>33375042
Kek.
It was what I was thinking
>>
>Last post: 22 days ago
Sorry for the delay, meatbags. You've been waiting a while for an update, so let's make it a chunky one!
>>
>>33297706
>"All set, Anon?"
"Y-yeah, ready as I'll be."
>The alchemist on site puts the last finishing touches on your get-up, retightening and rejigging the cloth and setting both you and Razor up with a fresh load of potions.
>The super-coffee potion is down the hatch first, and you use that time to head over to the other side of the small room, where your iron gear was still sitting.
>Magnet and war hammer, check.
>Both are slung away in short order, and you quickly double check to see if your staff is secure on your back.
>So far so good!
>Next on the list is to grab a bill, and you should be--
>Wait wait hold on, what's that mixed in with them?
>Is that your axe?
>It is!
>You'd recognize that decoration anywhere!
>Wait, but should you...?
>`You are not good with our weapons,` the alchemist answers without ever being asked. `Take that one.`
>O-okay, if she says so!
>Grabbed and stowed without further prompting.
>Geez, you hope they keep this whole giving your shit back train going!
>`Now wait for Heerser to return.`
`Right.`
>God, that's gonna be the worst fucking part!
>Please for the love of God let this just be some random scout!
>If fucking Nito shows up right now...
>No, no no no, stop that shit right now, Anon.
>He's not gonna come here.
>Those alchemists managed to bag you, and you were packing stronger shit than he was!
>That and these zeebs have those golem things!
>No way he'd risk it!
>Still, though...
>If he did show up, you'd be straight fucked.
>The magnet wouldn't stop him at all.
>Hell, it'd hurt you more than him, since it'd de-power these potions!
>Potions you've got no choice but to bank on right now, given your lack of shit!
>No, for fuck's sake Anon, stop it!
>He's not coming here, stop obsessing over it!
>>
>>33376922
>"You all right, buddy?"
"Fine."
>"You don't look fine."
"Yeah, I guess I'm not."
>"C'mon, talk to me. You worried about Exact?"
"Not just that. It's just, what if he shows up?"
>"Who, Incognito?"
"Yeah. I mean, if he comes here, we're fucking screwed."
>"I don't think he'd risk it, not with these alchemists hanging around. One potion and bam, he's bucked."
"I know, but... Fuck me, I'm not ready for this shit, man."
>"Honestly, you oughta be more worried about his toadies."
"What, the alchemists?"
>"Kinda, but the guys here can match 'em with their own. I'm more thinking about their own 'heroes', if you wanna call them that."
"You mean their own super zeebs?"
>"Wouldn't be a stretch, would it? Wouldn't have to be zebras, either. Could be that bucking bug, for all we know."
>Athalia?
>Oh geez, you didn't even think of her.
"Well at least I've got solutions for her!" you say, patting the magnet and staff.
>"And if you lose 'em, you're screwed. Hay, she'd probably do worse to you than he would, if I'm being honest."
"What do you mean?"
>"Anon, before she left to rescue that red cocksucker, she was fighting princess Luna."
"You mentioned."
>"Yeah, but I didn't mention the shit she said at the time. She..."
>He shakes his head for a moment.
>"Anon, she said she was gonna kill you, right to her face. Nothing about rescuing her boss, just killing you."
"She did?"
>"Yeah. Scary part was that she actually kept pace with the princess. The princess is one heck of a fighter, best I've ever seen, but that bucking bug was relentless, on top of slinging all that dark magic. I wouldn't want to fight her, that's for damn sure."
>Wait wait, that bug actually kept up with Luna?
>Did she mention that before?
>>
>>33376926
>"That Incognito shithead, I'm sure he just sees you as a big buckoff obstacle, even after everything you did. Doesn't strike me as the type to hold a grudge. But that bug?"
>He shakes his head a little.
>"She just screamed 'crazy' to me, man. You could see it in her eyes. And after that monster beatdown you gave her, the jail time, and after you thrashed her boss? If anything, she'd be the one out for blood, not him."
>No, you know exactly what he's talking about.
>Right after she shanked you in that crater, you saw that crazy look.
>A slight twinge shoots through that particular scar.
>And that wasn't even the first time she tried to kill you, either.
>Okay, this is starting to scare you more and more.
>"And then there's that alchemist that tagged along with her. Buck me, she was even more dangerous."
"She's the one that did the ice thing, wasn't she?"
>"The same. And we don't even know who else he's got to throw at us."
"Dude, you're supposed to be calming me down here!"
>"Well, you're not thinking of that red tailhole now, are you?"
"I--"
>A door opens, and who else steps through than Mr. Heerser himself, kitted out in full armour with a full rack of potions, all ready for war?
>Though that glyphed, barbed trident was a new addition.
>"Are the two of you ready?" he asks, serious as can be.
>"Yep."
"Best I can be. Uh, please tell me it's just a scout."
>"I wish I could, Otherworldly Anonymous. The situation has worsened considerably."
>Welp, there goes your stomach, dropped to the floor.
>>
>>33376929
>"According to your friend, the chariot attempted an escape after it discovered it was being followed. The Ancients awakened in time to attempt to bring it down, but their great attack was... blocked."
>Blocked?
"As in... a magic shield?"
>"Yes."
"Please, please don't tell me it's him."
>"According to your friend, it was not."
>Oh thank fucking God.
>"I don't imagine a human being is capable of leaping from the chariot, colliding with an Ancient, destroying it in a single strike, and then getting up to slaughter all that is around him."
>Nevermind, relief over!
"Oh God, who the hell would that be?!"
>"I do not know, though I have a suspicion that, like your own, I dearly hope is not correct."
>Couldn't be Nito, but still!
>That little blue gem of his pulses, and he immediately reaches for it, bringing it to his ear.
>"Yes? What? Are you sure? I see. Keep your distance and report any further oddities. Do not battle them directly. We will be there momentarily."
>So it does work like a magic walkie-talkie, huh?
>"The chariot emitted some kind of magical signal as it made it's escape."
"A signal? What for?"
>"Backup, if I had to guess," Razor adds.
>"That would make the most sense. We will deal with that as necessary. For now, we must go."
>"Lead the way."
>And out of this place your group rushes, into the now barely reddened black night, with torches, the moon, and big lit beacons along the walls being your only real light sources now.
>Jeeeeez, man!
>Who the fuck takes out one of those golems in one fucking hit?
>If you weren't nervous before, you sure as shit were now!
>>
>>33376930
>`Heerser!` a familiar voice calls off to the side.
>Vegter falls into formation from the side, loaded up with his own armour and potions, his axe stowed across his back.
>`Is everything ready?` Heerser calls to him.
>`Yes! Warriors already getting everyzebra out of the area!`
>`Good.`
>Plumes of smoke can be seen in the distance, right where you were headed.
>Dark purple flashes can occasionally be seen illuminating the smoke.
>Dark purple...?
>`This will be a taxing battle, Vegter. Bring nothing but your best for this--`
>That communicator gem pulses again, and Heerser answers it immediately.
>"Yes?"
>Heerser comes to a dead stop, and when you all stop in place to see what's up, his eyes are wide.
>"What...?! You cannot mean--!"
>graaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh
>If your gut hadn't sunk enough, your blood just chilled to try and match it.
>No way.
>Not now.
>Not fucking now!
>Jesus, you already came off of--!
>"Blessed ancestors, twenty of them?!"
>Twenty?!
>Jesus fucking Christ, he sent twenty of those fucking monsters?!
>"I see. Make your escape and reconvene with us at the wall!"
>He stows the gem away and takes a small breath to recompose himself.
>"Tell me I didn't hear that wrong," Razor says.
>"You did not. He senses twenty of the fell monsters, approaching the eastern wall."
"Jesus, that was the backup they called, wasn't it?!"
>"What, is he sending a bucking army next?!"
>"Compose yourselves! Otherworldly Anonymous, is your weapon ready?"
>Knew it would come down to this.
"Yeah, but my potions will--."
>"I will ensure you are re-equipped with the utmost haste."
>He turns to Vegter.
>`We are moving to defend the eastern wall. Twenty abominations approach it.`
>`Twenty?! What about the--?!`
>`We will confront them only after the creatures are dealt with. I will not lose countless innocents to those monstrosities.`
>Vegter grits his teeth, growling his displeasure.
>>
>>33376933
>The group changes course towards the wall, towards the ungodly chorus of screeches from those monsters.
>"Hang tight a moment, I'm gonna scope them out from the air!"
>And with that, Razor takes off into the air, still keeping pace with the boots on the ground.
`What is the plan?`
>`The Ancients will already be convening to the wall as we speak,` Heerser starts. `They will do what they can, but our ultimate goal will be to have your weapon slay as many of them as possible.`
>`But what about the zebras there? And the Ancients?`
>`Ancients are replaceable, lives are not. Otherworldly Anonymous, do your best to--`
`Kill nobody. I know.`
>FZZWT
>"Whoa, shit!"
>Your eyes dart upwards to a very startled Razor diving his way towards your group, dodging a volley of red magic bolts.
>"Whoakay, they're not the same monsters as before, guys!" he huffs, setting down and resuming his run.
"What do you mean?"
>"There's twenty of them all right, but they've got bucking upgrades!"
"Fuck me, really?!"
>"They're covered in armour and they've got bucking horns now! That volley I just dodged was their hoofwork!"
>As if the situation couldn't get any fucking worse!
>"They should fall to Otherworldly Anonymous's weapon as readily as the others!"
>Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.
>Oh Jesus why?
>You can already hear the monsters ripping into the sandstone of the walls as you approach, the tents that were here before now abandoned and trampled.
>Heavy stone steps draw your attention back to the wall, and what meets you is...
>Well, it's some good news at least!
>Those were definitely the same kind of zebra-shaped golems you saw before, only they were bigger, better looking, and absolutely covered in glowing zebra glyphs.
>And there looked to be about eleven of them on the scene here!
>>
>>33376936
>Zebra warriors and alchemists start crowding around them, but Heerser calls out to them all:
>`Back away from the wall, all of you! Let the Ancients handle this!`
>They obey in an instant, clearing away.
>"Otherworldly Anonymous, get in close to the Ancients. The very instant those monsters cannot be held by the Ancients any longer, loose your weapon's might against them."
"You're sure about this, man?"
>"You are the only one equipped to slay beings of this calibre. Even one getting through would spell certain doom for us all!"
>Y-yeah, no pressure!
>No, man the fuck up, Anon!
>You did this before, you can do it again!
"All right," you breathe. "Start praying."
>With that, you march towards the giant golems by your lonesome, the sound of stone ripping apart and monsters screeching only getting worse.
>Okay, unsling the magnet and power it on up!
>Preferably without your hands shaking!
>You can do this, come on!
>The instant the wall beings cracking on this side, the golems drop into combat stances and their mouths open, their glyphs alight with that green lightning all the while.
>The crack doesn't take long to graduate to a full on breach.
>The rune monsters trample over themselves to get inside, allowing you a full view of just what you were dealing with.
>Somehow, it was worse than what Razor had described.
>They were covered from neck to hoof in some kind of metal armour, etched with the same runes that the monsters themselves were.
>Said runes were glowing about as brightly as the ones on the golems, but weren't arcing with lightning like their non-evil counterparts were.
>And to top it off, they're sporting foot long unicorn horns, all of which were arcing quite violently with red lightning, almost like the energy was begging to be released against something.
>Their runic 'eyes' lock to their golem enemies, and they launch themselves at them with that same ungodly screeching, the golems rearing up as if to kick at them.
>>
>>33376939
>In that moment, all hell breaks loose before your eyes.
>The monsters slash at their enemies faster and even twitchier than the older versions, their attacks shaving enough debris off the surprisingly sturdy stone of their enemies to kick up clouds of dust.
>All the while, their horns fire very unstable red magic bolts in rapid succession, some of which detonate in midair before they even reach their targets.
>The ones that do hit wind up getting ablated somewhat by the green lightning visibly softening the bolts up before they land, but they still carve out anywhere from fist-sized holes to head-sized craters.
>That same green lightning rakes violently across the monsters themselves, doing little to the armour they wear, but absolutely cooking the exposed arms and heads of the monsters.
>Their arms are sizzled down to the bone, outpacing their regeneration.
>Yet they keep hacking away, even as some of their arms snap right off from the constant attacking.
>They don't even stop to let their arms regenerate when it happens: they just keep using it in a vain effort to club the solid stone of their enemies, caking the surface with black blood.
>As for their heads, the few that get too close don't have the chance to get cooked to the bone, as the green lightning reacts with their still-crackling horns, causing some kind of reaction that ends in their horns exploding, taking half their head with it in a shower of black blood and God only knows what else was in there.
>And it doesn't even slow them down: some of them continue gurgling instead of screeching, and whatever remained attached arced violently with red magic as it tried to regenerate, creating a similar effect that the green lightning was having, only against the golems.
>Nothing slowed them down.
>>
>>33376942
>The golems, heavy as they no doubt were, kept their surprisingly fluid movements steady under the onslaught they endured, booting the monsters several yards away with the kind of big, meaty CRUNCH that you can only describe as the sound of every bone in their body breaking at once.
>The few that manage to stomp on the monsters come down with such ground-breaking force that they wind up pulverizing the monsters into two halves, if not outright crumpling them like a tin can if they landed the hit head first.
>Just like the monsters, nothing slowed them down.
>But unlike the monsters, they couldn't regenerate.
>The monsters that were booted away convulsed violently to the tune of bones snapping and popping, and the ones that crumpled regenerated back to normal, their bodies just growing around the crumpled remains of their armour like a tree growing branches through a fence.
>The golems were outmatched and outnumbered.
>One by one, the golems began to fall, the onslaught eventually reaching their gemstone and animus cores, where the latter spilled out like glowing blood.
>The monsters didn't stop there, ripping into the fallen golems for several moments like a ravenous horde of zombies, with rocks, gem chunks, and animus flying out.
>Once they came up to down the other golems, they were absolutely drenched in the glowing green liquid, like the aftermath of some kind of nightmarish paintball match from hell.
>It's only when they get to the last two golems that you notice just how badly you're shaking.
>And it's in that same moment that the runic 'eye' of one of the golems locks onto you.
>Each and every monster freezes for a moment as their 'eyes' all shift to look at you, one after the other.
>Instantly, they abandon the barely standing golems and tear after you.
>>
>>33376947
>Move.
>They start firing magic bolts your way.
>Do something!
>Even with the bolts contrailing through the small magnetic field, the bolts still tear your clothes to pieces, but only feel like BBs impacting against your skin.
>The shock alone is enough to jolt you into action.
>You swear you can hear your own yelling join their chorus of screeching and gurgling as you start cranking the magnet with all of your might.
>Just like before, the effect is instantaneous.
>Every magic bolt en route to you spontaneously combusts and is carried away in the 'wind', and each monster drops to the ground, screaming uncontrollably and slashing at themselves and one another, black blood spilling everywhere.
>Keep cranking.
>Their screams cut off, their throats bulge, and their jaws unhinge.
>Keep cranking!
>The souls pop right out of them like before, the strings connecting to it dissolving before the white orb itself is reduced to magical 'smoke'.
>But unlike the last ones, they all had a second soul pop out, the runes dimming and their thrashing slowing right after the first one popped out.
>Keep cranking!
>A third one followed suit, and the instant that one popped out, they collapsed like a puppet with it's strings cut, the runes going totally dead.
>Keep fucking cranking!
>"Holy mother of Epona..."
>All that remained was a pile of steaming mangled bodies.
>Keep cranking!
>"Anon?"
>You're fucking dead if you stop!
>"Anon? Anon! Anon, they're dead!"
>Keep cranking.
>"Anon, listen to me! You got 'em, it's over!"
>Keep cranking.
>"Damn it! Hoof me that rock!"
>Something hits your back, causing you to jump and nearly drop the magnet.
>>
>>33376948
>A rock is heard clattering to the ground, causing you to spin in place to find it's source so you can fucking magnet the shit out of--
>It's Razor and Heerser.
>Both far away, both squinting with discomfort, and both unmistakably worried about you.
>It took you a moment to realize you were still cranking the magnet.
>It took another moment after you'd stopped and unpowered it to realize your hands were shaking and your breathing was heavy.
>Holy shit.
>The magnet clatters to the ground, along with you falling flat on your ass.
>Holy shit.
>Holy mother of God.
>Jesus of fucking Nazareth.
>"Anon!"
>Holy fucking shit.
>"C'mon, man, don't make me smack some sense into you again! On your feet!"
>Jesus fucking Christ.
>Oh dear God.
>"Sorry about this, buddy..."
>Oh fuck--
>SMACK
"Gaaah fuck!"
>"Anon, look at me!"
>The sudden shaking of your shoulders quickly distracted you from the pain in your cheek.
>It was Razor shaking you.
>"Look at me, man! It's over! You got 'em!"
>You... got 'em?
"I-I got 'em?"
>"Yeah, buddy! You bucking got 'em!"
>You got 'em.
"I got 'em."
>"You sure did!"
"I got 'em--"
>"No, come on buddy, save the crazy talk for your lab!"
>The lab...?
>Oh right, the lab.
>Ooh, Jesus, i-is your head supposed to ache like this?
>A-and when did your hands get all shaky?
>"C'mon, Anon, on your feet!"
>You almost fucking died again.
>"Here, lean on me!"
>Leaning on his is harder than it should be, and try as you might, you fail to stand up and fall to the ground with a painful THUMP, your legs too shaky to keep standing.
>Though you do notice Heerser coming up next to Razor.
>"His shaking seems unnatural," Heerser notes. "Did he take a potion before we left?"
>"Yeah, same one we took before leaving last time, why?"
>"Hmm. I wonder..."
>>
>>33376951
>Fucking hell, you almost died again.
>`Alchemists, bring me a purging brew!`
>"Anon, c'mon. We're not outta the woods yet, stay together!"
>You almost died and you can't even stand up right now.
>"Here, drink this," Heerser says, a vial of something held in his outstretched hoof.
>Snatching it, you down it right away.
>W-wait a minute, is this a...?
>Yeah, it is!
>Why'd he...?
>Huh?
>Your shaking is going away?
>"Anon?" Razor calls, visibly worried. "You all right?"
>The fuck...?
"I... y-yeah, I-I think so."
>Once more you try and stand up, and are met with far more success.
>"What'd he give you?"
"A hangover potion."
>"Not quite," Heerser says. "It was a purging brew."
"Purging brew? The hell is--"
>Ohh fuck you feel sick.
>"Uhh, please tell me it's not the purge I'm thinking of."
>A wave of nausea hits you like a train, causing you to double over.
>"I'm afraid so, Uncouth Razor Wind. You may wish to keep your distance."
>Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck--
>Landing on your hands and knees, you retch for a few moments before your stomach finally decides to empty itself all over the floor.
>Some of it streams out of your nose as it comes up, only what comes up doesn't taste like vomit, nor does it burn like it.
>It's not until you finally finish throwing up that you can finally take stock of why that was.
>Whatever this liquidy, dark brown, slightly iridescent shit was, it sure as shit wasn't vomit.
"Th-the fuck...?"
>"My thoughts exactly! What's this all about?!"
>"We can discuss that later. Can you stand, Otherworldly Anonymous?"
"I..."
>Yeah, you sure can.
>Not a trace of the shakes to be found, and your head feels clear.
>As you reach your full height, your eyes settle over the absolute carnage wrought by the monsters, and their bodies.
>>
>>33376956
>Jeeeeeesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, man...!
>"You look much better, Otherworldly Anonymous. Come, we can't rest on our laurels here."
>Can't rest on...?
>Oh fuck, that's right, these guys were the fucking backup!
>Yeah, you're back among the living now!
"Right. Let's get a move on."
>"Good answer. Vegter went ahead to rendezvous with--"
>"Wait, wait. Anon, what's that?"
"Huh?" you say, looking to where he was pointing.
>Yeah, he's pointing to where your axe was--
>Wait wait what the fuck?
>What happened to your fucking axe?!
>There's a puddle of molten metal on a stick where your axe used to be!
"The fuck, man?!"
>"Wasn't that your axe?"
"Yeah, what the hell--"
>The magnet.
"The magnet."
>"The magne--? Ohh, you're joking. Seriously?"
"What else could it be?"
>"Great, now it melts bucking adamantium, too? That would've been nice to know beforehoof!"
>No fucking kidding!
>"Please, language! I will find a replacement weapon for you while you are reequipped, Otherworldly Anonymous, but we must make haste."
>Well that's just great.
>You throw the now useless axe to the ground.
>Aw man, Crucible's gonna be fucking pissed.
>A few orders from Heerser later, and alchemists swarm in to take care of you, glimmers in their eyes and smiles on their faces in spite of everything.
>Once your war hammer is set down, they jump right into action, working with quick, practiced ease to replace everything you had on you.
>Wow, those bolts totally fucked up your clothes.
>In moments, your attire and potions are replaced, and they even set your staff back into place.
>Heerser, meanwhile, gives you a bill as a replacement weapon.
>Once that's stowed, and the war hammer and magnet are grabbed, you're ready to rock.
>>
>>33376957
>"Vegter went ahead with his warriors to ensure the civilians are safe, and your friend has been sent to aid him. The two of them will reconnect with us soon, but in the meantime, we must make haste towards our attackers."
"And pray they don't send more of these damn things out way?"
>"Yes. Quickly, now! Every moment we waste means more lives are lost!"
>Doesn't need to tell you twice.
>You and Razor bolt off with him towards the plumes of smoke in the distance.
>Wait, you're not super-coffee'd up!
>Into your belt you reach to grab your--
>"Don't use that potion, Otherworldly Anonymous."
"What? Why not?"
>"I suspect that magnet of yours caused it to react quite poorly with your system. It is why I had to give you the purging brew."
"The hell? That doesn't make sense!"
>"I do not know the reasons behind why it happened. We can find somezebra more qualified to find the cause later. For now, you'll have to trust me."
>Fucking God damn it.
>Back into the belt it goes.
>That crystal walkie-talkie of his pulses again, and he answers as quick as ever.
>"Yes? Good, you found Vegter. Is the evacuation proceeding as planned? Good, good. Wait, who else joined you?"
>He almost stops in his tracks again with a little gasp.
>"Th-the exile? She is there?"
>Whoa, he looks really worried all of a sudden.
>"I-I see. Make haste with the evacuations, and reconnect with us as soon as you can!"
>His brow furrows, but the worry remains.
>"What? There are two attackers, you're certain?"
>Two of them are doing all of that?!
>"Damn. Do you know where they are? Yes? I see. And the other?"
>He's back to looking worried?
>"The other has been... following you?"
"What?"
>"Then do not let this other one catch up to--"
>>
>>33376960
>Even from here, you could hear the sound of an explosion through the gem, and an explosion of dark purple magic rung out in the distance a split second later.
>A chill settles in your gut.
>"Hello? What happened?! The other assailant?! Damn it, hold on! We'll be right there!"
>He puts the gem away, and boy does he look even more fired up now.
"Are they okay--?"
>"We have to move, now!"
>Try as you might, you can't keep pace with Heerser, the big guy picking up some serious speed out of nowhere, moving like the fires of hell were on his ass.
"Hey, what the hell?"
>"Heerser, slow down!"
>He doesn't answer, and soon speeds out of earshot.
>"Buck, what's his deal?"
"No idea, man! Just keep going!"
>Without the potion, you're starting to get a bit winded from all this running.
>You're almost tempted to take another despite the advice, but the sight of one of those golems in front of you, complete with a small group of warriors, quickly pushes that thought out of your mind.
>Boy, you're glad these are on your side now!
>No, no time for that, you've gotta help Exact and the others--
>SMASH
>A glowing dark purple object smashes into the side of the golem's head, knocking it off balance and causing it to teeter and lose it's balance.
>Both you and Razor hit the brakes right as this happens, the warriors crying out and screaming about something incoming.
>That something rushes towards the warriors, too fast to make out.
>The speeding thing collides with the warriors head-on, two of them crying out in pain as it makes contact.
>Contact that doesn't last long as those two zebras are sent flying, their blood trailing behind them as they go.
>The grey-red blur leaps up towards the still falling golem, biting the object buried in it's head.
>That brief moment of stillness is enough to make it out as a zebra stallion.
>>
>>33376964
>Kicking off of the golem's head and unfazed by the green lightning, it drops back towards the still scattering warriors, coming down with a dark purple glow.
>SCHWUNK-VRUUMMM
>A shockwave of dark purple magic radiates out from the point of impact, the warriors crying out in pain as the wave burns them far more than it does send them flying.
>The golem crashes to the ground a split second after the shockwave.
>Instantly, you get the bill ready, Razor heard readying up himself.
>Pulling the object out of the ground with disturbing ease, the zebra jumps a short distance back towards the golem, the object arcing overhead and glowing with that dark purple magic again.
>SCHWUNK-VRUUMMM
>A big energy blade fires out of the thing, ripping the golem's rocky belly open and spilling animus everywhere.
>Right away, you reach back and grab your staff with your left hand.
>Shortly after that display of power, the object slowly floats out of his mouth and stows itself across his back, revealing it to be some kind of giant curved sword, with dark purple glyphs of some kind etched onto it.
>One of the warriors, singed but still moving from the first shockwave, charges at the sword-slinging zebra.
>In one fluid motion, the zebra spins in place, punching the warrior in the chest with a loud, sickening CRACK, followed by the sound of a sword cutting into something with a wet SCHLICK.
>The warrior only gets to gasp before the hoof that punched him pulls to the side, a spray of blood following the hoof's motion.
>The reason why becomes immediately obvious.
>There was a wide serrated blade sticking out by nearly a foot from the zebra's hoof, strapped to his leg.
>That same blade came right back down, nearly bisecting the warrior from the sheer force of the impact it made, splattering it's wielder with the poor bastard's blood.
>>
>>33376968
>Now you had a full view of who the guy was.
>Whoever the fuck this was, he was clad in some kind of armour made of both splint mail and pony or zebra bones, stained with blood both new and very, very old.
>His darkly smiling face chose that moment to aim itself your way.
>In that instant, his gleeful expression morphed to surprise as his eyes locked with your own.
>And scant seconds pass before his eyes damn near twinkle with delight, his open-mouthed surprise morphing to an excited smile.
>His pace is slow and deliberate as he walks towards the two of you.
>A warrior was splayed out across the ground in his path, groaning in pain.
>The zebra's expression doesn't change a bit as he steps on top of the downed warrior, bones heard cracking along with the poor bastard's cries.
>You train Riafalt on him, ready to blast his ass at the first sudden movement.
>Finally, he stops after about four yards, choosing to regard the pair of you in silence with a genuinely curious expression.
>Jesus, who the fuck is this guy?
>Even without the display of murder mere moments before, this guy just screamed 'serial killer'.
>It wasn't the left ear with a small chunk taken out, almost like it was bitten.
>It wasn't the mop of tangled, unstyled hair.
>It wasn't the scars along his neck, over his lip, and across his right eyebrow.
>No, it was the fucking look in his eyes.
>Then, as if he wasn't convinced he sold it hard enough, he starts to laugh.
>It began as a deep, hearty chuckle, in a smoother voice than you ever expected to hear come out of someone like this, but it soon grew into a full-on belly laugh, complete with his head thrown back.
>Neither you nor Razor says a thing, watching for any sudden moves.
>>
>>33376970
>"It's not often I find myself impressed at first sight, human!"
>And he speaks English, too?!
>He smiles your way, genuine as can be.
>"I expected you to carry the look of a cowardly magician, or worse, the look of a filthy schemer, as with the other human! But you? No, you've the look of a warrior about you, human! An honest-to-ancestors warrior!"
>Another laugh comes tumbling out of him.
>"You cannot understand how relieving that is to see with my own eyes, human."
>His gaze points over towards Razor.
>"And you must be one of those 'thestrals'. I never would have imagined that an Equestrian, of all creatures, could have such a pleasing appearance."
>None of you say a word, just watching for sudden movements.
>"Hah! Put the weapons away, both of you. If I wanted to do battle with you, I would have done so already. No, I wanted this chance to speak to you, human."
>Wait, what?
>Is this guy seriously just going to talk?
>Yeah, that's not happening.
"That's nice, but I have some friends to save. So I'm gonna have to ask you to fuck right off."
>He only looks happier to hear you speak.
>"And a spine to match the bravery!"
"Plenty more where that came from. Now get out of my way."
>"No."
>Well, that was to the point, wasn't it?
>"We will not have a second chance to talk, human. Death comes on swift hooves for you this day, and I won't squander this chance to learn more about the one who caused that insufferable schemer so much trouble."
"And what if I don't want to talk?"
>"Then your companion will be the first to die," he says with a small smile, as casually as a talk about the weather.
>Razor growls slightly in response, and your own grip on your weapons tightens.
>>
>>33376972
>Fuck, you're struggling to think of options right now.
>This guy just took out a fucking golem by himself, so he'd have to be the asshole who Heerser said took that first one out!
>Your weapons aren't good enough for this, and you don't know how well Riafalt is going to do against him.
>And with Razor around, that rules the magnet out!
>Fuck, fuck, fuck...!
>"Ahh, thinking of how best to attack, are we?"
>Hrk!
>"I'll spare you the effort, human. Neither you or this compatriot of yours stand a chance against me, and you both know that as well as I do."
>Come on, think of something!
"Then what's stopping you, huh?"
>Try as you might, you couldn't keep some of that nervousness out of your voice.
>Something about this guy was seriously giving you the creeps, and it wasn't because of the murdering!
>"Nervous, are we?"
>Agh!
>Nevermind, you found the reason right there!
>"Perfectly natural, human. But you needn't worry. So long as you entertain my desire to talk, neither you or your companion shall come to harm. On this, you have my word as a warrior."
>"Anon," Razor intones, sounding faintly nervous himself, "I think he's serious."
>The zebra looks slightly annoyed at Razor's interruption, but he quickly perks back up after looking his way for a few moments.
>"You're quite observant for an Equestrian."
>"It's my job."
>"And you too have the look of... Wait. No, not of a warrior, but a soldier. You're too stoic, too controlled to be a true warrior."
>Razor doesn't respond, but the zebra seems happy with that all the same, looking back to you.
>"You keep good company, human. Far better than the other one, for certain."
"I get the feeling you're not a big fan of the guy."
>"Oh, that's putting it mildly, human."
"Then what the hell are you doing out here if you hate him so much?"
>>
>>33376975
>"I'd be happy to tell you, but only after you put your weapons away."
"This again? Not happening, pal."
>"Hah! You've made slow progress earning the trust of the Kunstenaars, haven't you?"
>The fuck...?!
>How is this guy reading you so well?!
>"It's a simple show of reciprocity, human. I have set aside my arms to speak freely. Now it is your turn."
>Oh God, doesn't that sound familiar?
>Whatever, you're not stupid enough to fall for--
>Wait, what the fuck's Razor doing, putting his weapon away?!
"Dude, what are you--?!"
>"Do what he says, Anon."
"But--"
>"Trust me."
>Razor's look is pointed, though not without it's own share of reluctant acceptance.
>Fucking God damn it.
>Slowly, with your eyes trained on the zebra the whole time, you sling the staff and bill across your back.
>"Thank you, human," he smiles, genuine as can be. "What is your name?"
"What do you care?"
>"Our opposition to one another is no reason to dispense with honour, human."
>Honour, really?
>Uhh...
>Wait, he's serious, isn't he?
>This psycho is actually being courteous?
>Shit.
>No options right now either way.
>Just roll with it for now.
"Anonymous."
>"Thank you," he smiles.
>Okay, he has no fucking right being this genuine.
>It might be more unnerving than the fucking murder spree he was just on.
>"I am the leader of the Bloedige Plaag, Insurgent Anonymous. My name is Veldheer."
>>
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>>33376977
Let the record show that at this precise moment, I consider myself a very happy writefag. My little Christmas and New Year break from writing went well, and I started out on my side palate cleansing greentext. Couldn't finish it in time for the holiday season, but I'm quite happy with how it's turning out all the same, just like how I'm happy that Thaumaturgy's chugging along ever so slightly better than I'd planned.
My mojo's in motion, my muse is pleased, and I'm feeling good about juggling the two projects. I'll see how this train treats me over the coming weeks, but my expectation is that we should be returning to a faster pace for at least January. Shouldn't have said that, now I've jinxed the whole thing. Oh well, whatever. Feelin' way too damn good to care.
Anyways, enough rambling. You came here for a Pastebin link, and I'm not a droid to deny people what they want. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll catch you next time. https://pastebin.com/D8zmMPD4
>>
>>33376992
I can't decide if I like or hate Veldheer. That probably means you're doing a good job.
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>>33377152
Why not both
>>
>>33376992
Whew boy. What an update. Are we about to get an enemy of enemy thing here? Probably not. I am curious to hear what he says though. I hope Athalia doesn't get in the way. Not yet at least. It'll be nice if they both get close enough (and Razor is far enough) for Anon to use the magnet on them. I know a promise was made but they both need to die. I don't say that lightly. I don't like edge, gore, etc except where it makes sense. It makes sense for these really, really bad guys.

Thanks for the update HK! I'm looking forward to the next one. What's the other project if you don't mind me asking?
>>
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>sittin'
>writin'
>words slowly but surely comin'

Not a bad day so far. How are you folks doing?
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>>33376992
At least you acknowledge how ridiculous the edge has gotten.
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>>33376992
Wait a minute, wasn't Anon doped up on super-coffee the last time he used his magnet, too? What was different this time?
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>>33379023
It was towards the end of the day that time. I'm thinking the potion had worn off by then.
>>
>>33378289
>What's the other project if you don't mind me asking?
Another pony green I started that quickly became a longer project. It's not on /mlp/, and I haven't gotten it Pastebinned yet thanks to lacking a good title for it. You can find it in the thread I linked to in my last short green.
>>
>>33378295
At work
Ded inside
>>
>>33380796
This.
>>
hawkeye, are you alive?
>>
>>33380796
iktf sorta.
I just try to ponder on story ideas or whatever when I don't have to focus on what I'm doing, somehow this doesn't always translate to writing more when I get home
>>
>>33382655
I get so many ideas for story out of the blue at work and forget them by the time I get home
>>
>>33382833
>I get so many ideas for story out of the blue at work and forget them by the time I get home
Bring a sketchpad with you and jot them down on the spot.
>>
>>33382833
>>33383747
I write them all in my phone on a pastebin. Though a lot of these notes do need to be expanded on when I have a free moment otherwise they are impossible to understand. Like

>groundhog grief flutter unable to love

I still don't remember what story I was trying to plan.
>>
>>33383820
Not those anons but I'm glad I'm not the only one. At least you're more digital than I am. I'm trying to be but I still find post-it notes with stuff like "Human flower edible experiment Twi" at my work desk or in my car.
>>
>>33383820
I'll try
>>
>>33383820
>groundhog grief flutter unable to love
That is a mystery. I feel like guessing. Perhaps it was an idea where Anon gets caught in a time loop à la Groundhog Day?
>>
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>writin'
>listenin' to the wondrous morrowind soundtrack
>relaxin'

But how is your day Anon?
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>>33385412
Managed to get some non-horse writing done in between getting distracted by being sat in front of a computer.
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>>33313182
>Terrible horse
All mares are queens!
>>
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I've been out of loop a bit recently, what are the latest news on hawkeye's herd green? Is he kill?
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>>33385464
Non horse writing? Do tell Anon, what is as worthy as equine writing?
>>
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>>33385583
megamans writing
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>>33385506
I too am hoping for a Herd Story update.
>>
>>33385690
Not bad anon.
>>
I don't have any new story content to post, but I have finally formatted the existing chapters of Hello, World for pastebin.

I'm tinkering around with the Markdown syntax on Pastebin for these kinds of stories, so I'm curious on how other people feel about it. You can do some neat stuff with this syntax - hyperlinks, moderate rich text formatting, images, that kind of thing.

At any rate, here are the three chapters for the Hello, World story, now on Pastebin as well as fimfic:

[HW - 1] Technologic - https://pastebin.com/wjESZGW7
[HW - 2] Observation - https://pastebin.com/CYkRaurq
[HW - 3] First Contact - https://pastebin.com/W5UVzRQs

Of course, any comments, critique, etc regarding the story in general is also appreciated!

I plan on working on the next chapter and I hope to have it ready by the weekend, but we'll see how that plays out.
>>
>>33386703
Markdown is definitely a great thing to use for pure prose stories like this, unless you rely on changing the text colour. Pastebin's Markdown implementation has no support for changing text colour, which makes it a dealbreaker for me. Luckily, there are other ways to simulate greentexting on Pastebin.
>>
>>33386703
k
>>
>>33385506
>>33385779
>>
>>33385506
>>33385779

I'm not dead, just slow. Thanks to a series of Holidays, Annual Inspections (my busiest time of the year at work) and a Funeral, I was unable to write much for most of two months now. I am back home now, and have been hard at work on it. Next installment is only missing one or two scenes, and I've sent what I have out for proofreading so that as soon as I wrap these little bits up I can post.

Sorry again for being a dreadfully slow writer.
>>
>>33388457
Better a slow writer than a dead green. Thanks for keeping us up to speed, Hawkeye.
>>
>>33388457
Glad to hear it Hawkeye. I look forward to reading it.
>>
MacGruber in Equestria. What would happen?
>>
>>33389221
wrong thread, this is for anons
>>
>>33389225
MacAnon in Equestria. Better?
>>
>"Anonymous, we cannot sleep. Might we sleep with thee."
>Ha. Ha. Innuendo. But no Luna's completely serious.
>You know this because it's not the first time this has happened.
>Or the first pony this has happened with.
>"Fine. Climb in."
>You would say no cause it's honestly a little weird. But you can't resist the Royal Pouty Face.
>Once Luna has finished tucking herself into your bed, you try to go back to sleep.
>"Anonymous."
>Now what.
>"Yes?"
>"Wilt thou read us a bedtime story."
>If you had the energy your eyes would be rolling so hard right now.
>"Ok. 'Long ago in a distant land, I Aku-'"
>"We have heard this one."
>"How about this one. 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away-'"
>"And that one."
>"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of."
>----------------------One Story Later------------------------
>"Thank you for the story Anonymous, good night."
>"Goodnight Luna."
>Finally. You lost an hour of sleep time telling that story.
>"Anonymous, are you still awake?." Says a voice from your doorway that sounds exactly like Celestia.
>Cracking open an eye, you find that lo and behold the sun princess is indeed standing at your door with a blanket and pillow.
>You think your jimmies are beginning to rustle.
>>
>>33389319
I'd just resign to my fate as the Royal Cuddler, Snuggler, Teller of Bedtime Stories.
>>
>>33389579
I'd be ok as the High General of Boopification
>>
Requesting something comfy. I have a mighty need tonight.
>>
>>33390530
Have a tried a pillow, anon?
>>
>>33389319
>You'd sigh but you're too tired.
>"Just get in here quickly Celly."
>The sun princess drops out of sight for a moment, a lump appears under the blankets at the foot of the bed.
>The lump slowly snakes its way up the bed, like a.... lumpy snake. You're too tired for metaphors.
>Eventually Celly's head emerges next to yours.
>"Is it too late for a story?"
>"Yes it is."
>You've got your eyes closed but you can feel the Royal Pouty Face staring at you, searing into your brain.
>"Please Anon?"
>"Ok, ok. But we'll have to keep it short and quiet. I don't want to wake Luna."
>Sunbutt lets out a soft squeal and wriggles up against you like an excited puppy.
-------------One badly remembered retelling of the Little Mermaid later----------
>Celestia is out cold. From long experience you know the signs, without even looking at her.
>Mainly you can feel her drooling on your head.
>Unlike her sister who is merely content with sharing the bed, Celly is a cuddlebug.
>Seriously, legs, wings, all wrapped round you.
>On the upside the extra body heat is making you extra tired.
>You might finally get to sleep, with no more interruptions.

https://pastebin.com/9NvHEvdr
>>
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>>33372520
>>33372655
>>
>>33391560
>also, Sunbutt snores
>she is the most polite, feminine, ladylike being in Equestria
>with the possible exception of the Bearer of the Element of Generosity
>but she snores
>she snores like a dinosaur
>you speculate that the shape of her delicate, tapered, deer-like head and long, swan-like neck form some kind of resonant chamber
>she sometimes snores with the full force of the Royal Canterlot Voice
>once she blasted you into the wall
>she was, of course, very apologetic
>when she woke up
>>
Hey guys I'm looking for old, very sweet story where Minuette holds a dentist convention on the same day as one of Pinkie's parties without realising. So no one goes except for Anon who doesn't want her to feel bad.
>>
>>33392056
https://pastebin.com/qT9YwQcU
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>>33391716
hue
>>
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I did an update to an old ass oneshot of mine about a tiny Fluttershy trying to take care of Anon. You can find part 1 here and this bit continues from line 104 https://pastebin.com/aCifnXeQ

>"Mornin' Shy," booms Anon as places one plate down of toast with a corner cut off for himself and a much smaller one for you with the corner.
"Thank you very much, Anon. How did you sleep?"
>"Eh," he shrugs his giant shoulders or rather giant to you, "It was too cold. I'll definitely need to fix that heater on the weekend or something."
>Glancing at the calendar you see it's still Wednesday.
>"Yeah, I know. I've got lots of overtime to do this week. I don't think I'll have time until then."
"Oh," you reply a little dejectedly but Anon doesn't seem to notice.
>Soon after Anon has to leave for his job, leaving you alone in the seemingly endless space that is his house.
>Without further ado, you set to work fluttering over the draw that Anon keeps all the old manuals and booklets for things.
>The heaving it takes just to get the draw open takes a lot out of you but you persevere.
>Little books litter it tot he point where you're not sure how exactly Anon got the draw closed in the first place.
>Trying to move one book spills over three onto the floor.
"Oh, um, I should--" you nervously stammer as you try to work out how exactly you're going to wade through all these without making a mess.
>But then the image of Anon appears in your head.
>Sure, he shrugged it off as if it was just a minor concern but those rings under his eyes show he didn't get a good night's rest which is import.
>No, today, mess does not matter! You have to do this, for Anon!
"I will clean all this as soon as I'm done," you pump yourself up in what is a yell to you but more of a slightly higher version of your usual soft speak to everyone else.
>Burrowing deep into the draw kicks up more booklets that spill onto the floor but you ignore it all and continue to dig deeper.
>>
>>33394016
>You head further down and the air is now getting scarce and the weight above you is constricting. It takes more and more effort to push on but push on you do.

>In your head you cheer yourself on, for Anon! And then you find one that has a picture of the heater on it. Latching onto it with your teeth, you head up as fast and you possibly can.
>As soon as you break the surface, you fill your lungs with air and the booklet you fought so tirelessly for hits the ground.
>Mentally, you give yourself a little pat on the back even if your work is far from over.

-----

>With the booklet open on the floor to the circuit diagram page and a bunch of Anon's tools spread out on the floor, you set to work on the heater.
>Or at least, you would.
>Ignoring the tired you're feeling all over from the flying and lifting, you don't understand a single thing.
>There's a squiggly little zigzag line here and that leads to a symbol that looks like the skip button on the TV remote.
>Flicking through the other pages doesn't seem to bring up anything to help. In a state of pure bewilderment about this leaves you with only one resort.
>You unfurl your wings and begin the ascent to Anon's computer. After waiting for it to boot up, you drag the mouse about and jump onto the clicker twice. F
>rom there you hover over the keyboard.
"Oh, my. Was it always this large?"
>And then you pause.
"What would I even search?"
>You ponder over the predicament for a time before coming to a conclusion. As you float above the keyboard, you notice the first letter and press it.
>The little key makes a loud mechanical click and you begin the search for the second letter. It too goes click and you begin to feel an ache in your wings as you try to find the other letters.
"Why isn't it alphabetical?" You sigh tiredly as you press down the final letter.

//what do the heater symbols mean
>>
>>33394019
>And then you leap onto the enter key only for the computer to pull up pages explaining how various heater remotes work.
"Let's try..."

//what does the zigzag before the skip button mean

>That brings up sewing techniques and something about the periodic table.
"Oh, I'm sorry," you exclaim before type in a few extra letters

//what does the zigzag before the skip button mean heater

>Which does little to improve the results. So you dart back to the booklet to consult the pages once more and that's when you notice in the first few pages the contents list.
"Circuit diagram," you read aloud.
>Asking the computer what they are seems to get the results you needed. The screen is loaded with symbols and explanations of what everything is to the point of being an overload.
>You press your little hooves into your cheeks firmly in an attempt to steel your resolve.
"You have got this!"

-----

>Anon returns home late at night, flicking off little bits of snow and shuddering from the cold.
>After he takes off his coat, he wanders through the house to notice the kitchen draw with all the booklets sprawled and fallen on the floor.
>"Shy?" He calls.
"In here," you sing back.
>There's a little moment of time before he appears in the room as he picks up all the booklets and shoves them in.
>"Everything alright--Ah."
>He notices the heater has been pulled apart so that beside the tools are the screws, cover pieces, and various components are splayed everywhere.
>Meanwhile you're still sitting on the desk and staring at the screen.
"I was hoping to be done by the time you got home. I'm pretty sure it's that resistor cause it looks all burnt but I got a little stuck on what a thermistor is," you hastily try to explain, unable to keep the nervousness out of your voice.
>Anon chuckles softly and warmly. There's no hint of irritation in his voice, just happy which goes a way to setting your nerves at ease.
>Somewhat.
>>
>>33394021
>"Well, I guess you've done pretty much all the work for me then. Which is a bit of a life saver, it's going to be freezing tonight. One sec."
>And then he disappears into the kitchen for a while. When he returns he has two cups, one large and the other small, with hot tea inside.
>"I've also ordered a pizza which should be here by the time I finish."
"C-Can I help?"
>"Of course," Anon smiles, "Let me get the soldering iron while you make a pile of all the screws so we don't lose any.
>And while I work, you can hand me tools as my assistant. Sound good?"
>You nod happily and the two of you begin working together. You were right about the problem but Anon still checks over everything to be sure.
>And as you were the one to pull it apart you have to guide him in how to put it back together. Naturally being much harder to do than dismantling it.

-----

>Once the pizza is here and you completely stuff your face on an entire slice. Which was wonderful considering how you got so focused in your work that you didn't eat all day.
>With the heater working, the room warm, and bellies full it doesn't take long before Anon drifts off to sleep on the couch.
>While you feel like you should wake him and try to convince him to get into his bed you are very tired yourself. Plus it is very warm and your belly is full.
>So in just a few blinks, your eyes stay shut and you drift to sleep on Anon's chest.
>The rise and fall in time with his breathing along with the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat is like being rocked and lulled at the same time.
>There was never any hope of you doing anything more than falling asleep right there, at peace.

https://pastebin.com/aCifnXeQ @Line 104
>>
>>33394022
God damn 8th. We got fantasy writers, slice of life writers, action writers, even edgy writers but if I had to put your style into a genre it'd be comfy or sweet.
>>
>>33394022
Thank you, you crude Australian bastard, for giving us something cute this evening.
>>
>>33394022
Well well well. The man from the land of Vegemite and venom lives. Thanks for the update.
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>>33394016
Rad/10
>>
>>33391560
>Luna left an hour ago to perform her nightly duties
>Celestia however remains and has you in a full body hug, that's what you get for being the exact same height as her
>Its times like this you wonder if you should branch into body pillows
>After all you made a killing with those fake nose/eyebrow glasses.
>who knew that human noses were comedy gold, though it only took off thanks to Pinkie
>Anyway, while Luna has left your bed, your snuggle pile has grown.
>A batpony guard name Silent Flight climbed in and has joined you, she's Luna's dayguard.
>And true to her batpony nature she's arranged herself upside down.
>Her butt on your pillow next to your head, the rest of her tucked into the crook of your arm and side.
>The Butler who came to rouse Luna also decided to stay, curled up by your feet on top of the blankets
>A quick nap before he continues his shift, he said.
>Honestly is this your room or a hotel.
>If this keeps up there'll be more ponies through here than there was in Canterlot at the party after Storm King's defeat
>>
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>>33396385
Cute.
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>>33396385
Super cute.
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>>33396385
Ultra cute.
>>
Daily Reminder that everyone can into green. Even if it's only short prompts and ideas, post it, someone might run with it.
>>
>>33399500
>You're NigAnon.
>Niggas just call you Anon.
>And you hate ponies.
>There's some white nigga in charge.
>You think she's called Celbestia.
>Fucking white supremacist.
>Doesn't help that your homies are back at your crib.
>No homies for you.
>Damn you miss 'em, no homo.
>"Anon!"
>Speak of a nigga.
>Bet that it's that sparkle bitch
>You drag yourself to the door and swing it open.
"Wot u want, nigga?"
>"Anon, me and my friend are going to have a picnic at a ancient Poyan ruin—"
>You heard food, you've been starving for days.
>Fucking Applejack protecting her apples.
"Wotever, sure, ah'll go witya"
>"Wow! Thanks Anon, you won't regret it!"
"When we be goin', dog?"
>"Tomorrow, at 10. Meet me at my castle."
"Cya then, homie."
>You just called a white supremacist homie.
>Shit.
>>
>>33399839
>"So, Anon, what was your job before you came here?"
>This nigga.
>Thinking you were employed.
"Ah worked for NASA."
>Stupid bitch.
>"What's Nahsa?"
>Really?
"You don know who NASA is?"
>"It's a person?"
>This nigga.
>You hate her.
>And to think you called her your homie.
"No, dog, it ain't a person. In fact, I don wanna talk bout dis no more."
>Back to silence
>In a shaky ass wagon.
>For two more hours.
>Fuck.
>"Anon, does your species have more colors?"
>The white unicorn just spoke.
>What the fuck.
>Knew that white bitch was a supremacist.
>Bet they're going to hang you.
>Gotta fucking bail.
"You ah racist?"
>"A what?"
>Good, she's on the defensive.
"Anon! Don't call ponies racist!"
>Fucking sparkle bitch back at it again.
"You niggas are racist tho."
>"Wha-- WE'RE NOT RACIST!"
>Fuck, she's gonna kill you.
>Think NigAnon.
>Idea!
>You stand from your seat.
>And jump out the back of the wagon.
>You sprint away as fast as you can.
>"ANON! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"
>Sparkle's chasing you.
>Shit.
>>
>>33399845
>"ANON! WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE!"
>Chill nigga.
>You ain't leaving this hollow tree til she leaves.
>"ANON, COME OUT RIGHT NOW!"
>Bitch, you can't make me.
>"ONE!"
>What.
>"TWO!"
>Holy shit.
>"THREE. THAT'S IT ANON!"
>She's gonna fucking lynch you.
>Wait, she's walking away.
>She's gone...
>...
>No, it's a trap.
>You ain't leaving.
>...
>Okay, you leaving.
>Dis shit boring.
>Stepping out of the hollow tree you see a big ass temple to your right.
>Damn.
>How long has that been there?
>"Anon!"
>Sparkle bitch.
>Fucking run.
>You sprint into the temple.
>Running into the temple you're greeted with a T-junction.
>You run down the left hallway.
>As you run, you feel your foot give way to a pressure plate.
>The floor beneath you falls apart.
>You're falling.
>Probably to your death.
>Shit.
>>
>>33399849
>Ah shit.
>Feels like you smoked too much weed.
>huh
>You can't afford weed.
>That must mean you fell down a trapdoor in some ancient temple.
>Opening your eyes shows...
>Yep.
>You are in some weird temple.
>You rise from the ground.
>You would think you'd have a broken bone.
>But nope.
>You're doing fine.
>You draw your attention away from your impossible survival to look down a nearby hallway.
>In fact you're standing in a X-junction.
>Every wallway is spooky black.
>Apart from the one with a weird red glowly light.
>Wait.
>Why are you afraid from the darkness?
>You ain't racist.
>You turn on your heel and walk into the African american hallway behind you.
>Shits pitch black.
>Can't even see your hands.
>Probably because you're a nigga.
>Probably.
>"Anon."
>Holy shit.
>That's Sparkle bitch.
>How the fuck did she get down here?
>"Anon, follow my voice."
>Yeah no.
>You book it away from Sparkle bitch's voice.
>Damn.
>You haven't ran this fast since you ran from the police.
>"Anon-"
>Wait.
>Her voice sounds...
>Off.
>"-Where are you going?!"
>Yup.
>That's some demonic ass voice.
>Knew she was a supremacist.
>You turn around.
>You can see a pear of red eyes racing down the hallway.
>A white jester smile just beneath them.
>Shit.
>>
>>33399853
>Well.
>You're still running.
>Turns out Sparkle bitch is apart of the KKK.
>Not her proudest moment.
>Wait.
>What's that just up ahead?
>It's a candle!
>And we all know the KKK hates candles!
>You put all your effort in running towards the candle lit room.
>You're practically sweating hamburgers.
>Jesus, you're so greasy.
>You should probably check to see if Sparkle bitch is still there.
>You turn around only to be met with a blood covered face of Sparkle.
>Shit spooked you.
>"CoME wITH ME AnOn!"
>Damn.
>Her breath smells like shit.
>She needs a Tic Tac.
>You turn around and jump into the candle lit room.
>Landing with a puff of dust, you look back to Sparkle bitch.
>Bitch's gone.
>Knew she was apart of the KKK.
>You turn to see a weird glowy red thing.
>Shit, did you run in a circles?
>You stand and walk over to the glowy red.
>Turns out it's a gem.
>Some runes show a white pony touching the gem and turning black.
>Holy shit.
>You can make niggas.
>You reach to grab the gem.
>But when you touch it you freeze.
>And you collapse to the ground.
>Shit.
>>
>>33399857
>You awake, cold.
>"Anon, you're awake!"
>Shit, it's Sparkle bitch and her friends.
>In fact, you're still on the ground in the temple.
>But you're cold.
>"Anon, talk to us!"
"Y-you niggas racist."
>Shit, it's hard to talk.
>You curl up more.
>Fuck, you're also in pain.
>Damn, you're eyes are also getting heavy.
>You yawn.
>"Anon! Don't go to sleep."
>You look up at her.
>Fucking KKK telling you what to do.
>Shit, she's crying.
>Do KKK members cry?
>Maybe some type of ritual.
>"Stay with us? Okay."
>Damn, now you're crying.
>Knew it was some type of ritual.
>She's gonna lynch you now to her God.
>"Just hang in there."
>Shit, she's starting to drag you.
>Yep.
>Going to get lynched.
>A sharp spike of pain shoots through your body.
>You stiffen up.
>"Anon!?"
>Shit, you're getting cold again.
>Maybe if you sleep for five minutes.
>Maybe.
>"Anon! Don't go!"
>Shit
>>
>>33399860
See you guys next week when I have a pastebin account and when I start writing clop.
>>
>>33394022
That was sweet. Different but sweet. Thanks 8th!

>>33391560
>>33396385
Dangerous levels of cute and comfy. Thanks He-Anon.
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>>33396385
>It's some time in the AM. The batpony is gone. The Butler is gone.
>Even Sunbutt is gone. But only to get more pillows. Tiny pillows.
>It seems that Luna in the course of her duties in the dreams of her subjects found some trouble.
>A bunch of little fillys and foals having a camp-out in Canterlot Park, told one too many scary stories.
>And Moonbutt in her infinite wisdom decided the most appropriate solution was to have them all bunk with you till morning.
>Little ponies are curled up all over your bed, on your pillows, in your arms, up against the headboard.
>At least you have some time to stretch out before Celestia returns with more bedding for her little ponies.
>And a Snug-Fu Snuggle Grip for you.

https://pastebin.com/9NvHEvdr
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>>33400117
hnnng. You're just trying to kill me with cute aren't cha.
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>>33399870
I dont want clop from you, just more niganon and my sides back from space.
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>>33399870
it would be especially entertaining if another black guy wound up in equestria but one that's not a nigga and has taken Chris Black's serious joke; there's two kinds of black people, black people and niggers and niggers have got to go; to heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3PJF0YE-x4
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>>33399500
This.
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>>33399860
I didn't buy a color TV so that I could watch niggers on it, Anon.

no, seriously, this is funny. is there more?
>>
>>33399500
Literally got one of my reoccurring stories from a tiny one post.
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>>33400485
they're gone
>>
>>33399860
>>33399870
>So warm.
>Nice and comfy.
>This isn’t normal.
>You didn’t steal firewood this morning.
>And you don’t how to start a fire.
>Speaking of which.
>You still have tons of firewood.
>Cracking open your eyes reveals…
>You’re in a hospital bed.
>Oh, and there’s also Sparkle bitch.
>Not really that important.
>”Anon.”
>Ah shit.
“Wot?”
>”Good, you’re awake. I was worried. You touched an evil gem that-”
>Wow.
>She talks a lot.
>Right, now where’s your sick ass red gem at?
>After scanning the room you have concluded…
>There’s no gem.
>Nothing.
>You’re gemless.
>You panic.
>Jesus, did it get hard to breathe?
>You jolt up right, hyperventilating.
>”Anon, I know this is really hard to take in right now, but you have to listen. The great evil you unleashed will be coming to Ponyville!”
>What the fuck is she even on about?
>Fuck, you weren’t listening.
>Shit
>>
>>33402901
>Feels great to be walking again.
>Feels better to know you have welfare in the mail.
>Good thing the hospital isn’t too far from your house.
>You turn the corner coming face with your house.
>There’s someone at your living room window.
>Inside your house.
>Wait, that’s a person.
>Like a nigga.
>There’s a nigga in your house.
>Welp, there’s only one thing that can fight a nigga.
>You walk up to your mailbox and take your welfare out.
>Time to buy a baseball bat.

>A shame you had to spend all your money on a bat.
>Shit’s expensive.
>With the bat held in both hands you burst open the door, revealing the main hallway.
>A shame you’re gonna have to buy a new door.
>Right, where was that nigga at?
>The living room!
>You break down the door to your living room, too.
>Shit, you gotta stop breaking shit.
>You look up from the carcass of a door you had to see…
>Yep.
>That’s the blackest nigga you’ve ever seen.
>He’s also in a robe, probably his PJs.
>”Greetings, NigAnon.”
>He knows your name.
>Shit
>>
>>33402904
>Doesn’t matter if this nigga wants a conversation.
>You don’t like random niggas walking in your crib.
>”Now, I believe I have something you want—”
>With one firm swing of your bat.
>You hit him in the head, and he falls to the ground.
>The bat, the best technology in home defence.
>Ah, you miss that old clunk sound.
>Alright, now time to deal with the nigga.
>Wait, one of his pockets is glowing red.
>You reach in and pull out…
>It’s your gem!
>First time seeing a nigga in ages.
>And not only was this nigga a home invader, but also a thief.
>Well, you got what you wanted.
>Putting the gem in your pocket, you pick up the now out cold nigga.
>Walking outside with him on your shoulder, you look for a place to put him.
>You decide the trash is the best option.
>You toss the robed nigga in your trash.
>Turning around to head back inside you’re faced with a pony standing at your now non-existent door.
>It’s the yellow one with the pink hair.
>One of Sparkles friends.
>Shit.
>>
>>33400117
>It's morning. Your bed is empty of everything except you. Even Celly, who no doubt got up to raise the sun.
>Which means it's your turn. You rise and head into the halls of the castle.
>And straight into She who must be Supplied with Cake.
>"Good morning Anon."
>"Hey Celestia."
>"Will you be joining us for breakfast?"
>"Nah, I got to take the early train back to Ponyville, if I want to spend the rest of the holiday with the girls."
>"Oh that's a shame, wish them a Happy Hearth's Warming from me and Luna."
>"Will do, thanks for putting me up."
>"Nonsense, it's always a pleasure to have you here."
>You hug her goodbye and make your way to the train station.
>It's only one week to go before Friendship School reconvenes and you're back to your job as Teaching Assistant.
>Idly you wonder if you've missed whatever crazy friendship adventure your friends have attracted for Hearth's Warming.
>You do love being part of them. And the Magic of Friendship. Though you would enjoy missing the clean-up.
>>
>>33400117
I like it.
>>
>>33400117
Snuggle-fu is best-fu.
>>
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>>33403493
>You're on the train to Ponyville, it's a... a...
>Well to be honest you never really bothered to time the journey.
>You know it's measured in hours. Time enough for a nap.
>Nothing else to do, the train seemed mostly empty when you boarded.
>And a good opportunity to test out your Hearth's Warming present.
>Celestia decided to make and give out sun patterned blankets to everyone.
>And it goes without saying you need to recover all those Zzzzs you lost from all the coming and going last night.
-------------------One Nap Later-------------------
>"Five minutes to next stop! Ponyville Station! Next stop Ponyville!"
>"Ugh." You must have slept the entire ride away.
>Either you're way more tired than you thought or Sunny D makes a dangerously comfy blanket.
>Wait. Why does it feel like there's a weight on your chest.
>Peering beneath your blanket you spot a blue pony. She smiles back at you.
>"Hi Anon."
>Slowly a name comes into your brain.
>"Minuette? What are you doing?"
>"I'm going to visit Lyra and Bon Bon." She hops out from beneath the blanket and onto the seat next to you.
>"No I meant beneath my blanket."
>"Oh that, there was nopony else to talk to apart from the conductor. So I was waiting for you to wake up but then I got sleepy."
>"So you decided to climb under my blanket."
>Minuette just grins and nods.
>Several years ago this would have seemed odd.
>>
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>>33399860
good shit
>>
Mornin
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>>33407029
Ponies are best nap companions.
>>
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>>33410480
oh my
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>>33407029
Good stuff as always.

>>33410133
Yes indeed.
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>>33410480
Majestic af
>>
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Friendship is Magic.
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>>33407029
>You said goodbye to Minuette at the station, now it's off home.
>The Castle of Friendship, you think that's the official name anyway.
>For you it's home. When Tirek destroyed Twilight's treebrary, well your house was right behind it.
>And you've been living with Twilight ever since.
>Not like she's short of space or anything. Even when Starlight moved in, there's still a lot of unoccupied rooms.
-----------One long walk later-----------
>You've entered Twilight's Reading Room, technically any room with Twilight in it is a reading room but this one is her favourite.
>Her brother, Cadence and Flurry are here too.
>"Hey guys."
>Twilight jumps out of her chair to hug you. "Anon you're back, how was Canterlot?"
>"Peaceful, Luna and Celestia said to wish you and the girls a Happy Hearth's Warming."
>Taking a seat you get comfy. Despite being twice the height of the average pony, their chairs fit you quite well.
>When you sit on your butt, you're exactly the same height as a pony sitting on its butt.
>"Thought you three would be back in the Crystal Empire by now."
>"We aren't leaving until this evening, then we're stopping in Canterlot to pick-up Flurry's grandparents."
>Flurry makes an insanely cute noise at this news, causing you and Twilight to grin like idiots.
>>
>>33413883
>It's a shame they're going. You do like playing with Flurry or any baby pony to be honest. They're all obscenely cute.
>Ah to hell with it. "Does Flurry have time for some sledding after lunch?"
>All three adult ponies smile at you and Shining answers "I think she does."
>"By the way Twilight, what was that green, gloopy sea I had to sail over to get here."
>Twilight blushes slightly. "There was a bit of an accident with a magical pudding recipe."
>"All that green stuff is pudding? You could feed Ponyville with all that."
>"That's a great idea Anon, we can give it away to the ponies of Ponyville. We'll have to ask Pinkie for her permission first."
>"What do you mean her permission?"
>"The pudding is Pinkie's Hearth's Warming present."
>Figures.

https://pastebin.com/9NvHEvdr

No I don't know where this story will go. I'm just riffing on Anon's day to day.
>>
>>33410480
fluffy/10
>>
>>33399500
Give me a sec. My favourite TV show is back on the air, so it's time to >Greentext
>>
>One of them reached up to put the camera on, recording this little conversation. Some part of you worried that you clearly weren't dressed for this.
>But you shrug. A dirty white t-shirt and a graying ponytail were decent attire for what was going to be inadmissible in court anyway.
>”Today's date; 1023 PLB. Detectives Truthhound and Seeker interviewing ex-detective Anon.Y.Mous.”
>You take a swig of the foul black coffee, desperate to reach into your jeans and grab the whiskey within to add to it, but you knew better for now. You needed to talk to them as much as they needed to talk to you.
“Ex-Detective? Nice to get that as a title.”
>If the two ponies heard your comment, they ignored it, sitting opposite you.
“So... You must be Truthhound...”
>You point to the older mare, with a graying mane.
“And you... Seeker?”
>Pointing towards the younger colt. His cutie mark was an open book. Her's a dog. It wasn't hard to work out.
>The young colt nodded while the mare placed a file on the table. The table was barely large enough for you, and you still loomed over them. Your height had served you in interrogations before. It would be interesting to see if it would work when you were on the other side. The mare opened her mouth to speak.
>“Mr Mous. I've read your file.”
>You laugh bitterly.
“Size of the fucking bible I assume?”
>She spoke again;
>”I don't know what that means, but you and your partner were indeed successful.”
>You cough.
“Yeah. She'd tell it differently. Something tells me you didn't bring me in to talk about Purse snatchers and Salt addicts robbing convenience stores in that file though.”
>She opened the smile, and you tried to hide your grin.
>The picture was black and white, color photography not been invented at the time. But you remember the shade of green of the mare in the picture. You remember the amber leaves behind her body, the dying brown of the rope around her arms and legs. The blue around her broken neck.
>>
>>33415016
“That one huh? Figured. Me and her made our names from that case. I remember.”
>You lean back in the chair and place your feet on the table. This time you do reach into your large pockets and pull out a flask
>Both of them immediately raise their objections, but you simply wave the flask around.
“What? You took me from my bar, you thinking I ain't gonna catch up with work?”
>”Not here Mr Mous.”
>You settle your gaze upon the older mare.
“This story doesn't go well without it. You want the story, you let me drink.”
>You then turn your gaze to the younger colt.
“'Less you want this to be admissible? But why would that be?”
>The colt opened his mouth, but the Mare shook her head.
“Thank you.”
>You pour the whiskey into the coffee and take a quick swig.
“Later on, one of you is gonna have to go on a beer run.”
>Neither looks best pleased with this information, but clearly, they needed your story more than they needed you sober.
>And so you begin.
“The year was 1008 PLB. I'd been in Equestria for 'bout a year, maybe two. On the force for about six months. I had this partner, Cookie. Eager mare, full of energy. She fucking hated me those first months...”
>>
>>33415019
>You check your tie. The magically pulled carriage did its work, pulling you and your partner deeper into the countryside, well beyond Manehatten.
“What's the call?”
>Cookie turns to you, confused.
>”We just heard it over the radio? Murder victim. The farmer found her early this morning. Hasn't touched the body. He sounded pretty shook up apparently.”
>You scoff at that.
“I know your kind aren't too used to murders. I wouldn't look too much into his attitude 'bout it.”
>She huffs, but keeps quiet, focusing on steering the horseless cart. It wasn't any faster than a horsedrawn carriage, but you didn't have to pay the guy when you got there, nor did it run out of energy partway through and collapse. Usually anyway.
>You glance out of the window, and her eyes fall upon you. Hollow, black things that watch you move past. You shake your head, and sure enough, it disappears.

>”Whoa. Hang on? You were hallucinating on the job?”
>You turn to Truthhound.
“I thought you'd read my file? Part of my discharge. You... you do know the story of how I ended up here right?”
>They turned to each other and shook their heads. You shake your own.
“Well. Let's just say I saw things. Images, shapes usually. I knew they were false the moment I saw them. But then again, if I ignored stuff simply because it seemed false I wouldn't be sat here talking to you.”
>You can tell from their expressions they are sceptical, but you didn't get anywhere in life by caring what ponies thought.
>Instead, you return to the story.
>>
>>33415022

>The two of you step out of the carriage, you grabbing your ledger before walking forwards. Before you stands a massive cornfield, nearly as tall as you. And that was saying something, given how short these tiny horses were.
“Reminds me o' home.”
>”You coming Anon?”
>You break out of nostalgia and follow after the tiny cream coat horse. There's a dirt track heading towards a great willow tree in the heart of the field. All around it you can see that nothing has ever grown around the roots of that great tree.
>Even from a couple of hundred feet out, you could see her.
>”My Goddess.”
>Cookie looks aghast, her face somehow paling as she looks at the body. You simply grimace a little.
>The corpse was not posed like a pony should be able to. Her two front legs were outstretched to the side perpendicular to her chest, pulled apart by the ropes around her... Wrists? Lower leg.
>The back feet were similar pulled, but instead straight down. The closer you came to the body, the more you could make out about it. Cookie paused well behind you, throwing up into the cornfield.
>The ligaments in her front limbs were broken to pose her in that way. But that hadn't been the cause of death. No, that was clearly the ring of blue around her pale green neck. And the out of place vertebrate level with the injuries. Strangled, and her neck broken.
>You were within a few feet of her now. Unicorn. Female. Young mare, between the ages of 17 and 24. Her head was pulled back on her body, so you couldn't directly see her face. Indeed, she was looking upwards into the branches of the tree. Into the dying leaves above her.
>You open your ledger and grab a pencil and begin to quickly sketch the body as you walk around.
>As you came to her back, you saw something sat atop her head. Wrapping around from her horn around her head was what looked like a crown. Made of twigs and thorns.
>>
>>33415027
>You almost wrote down 'Copious Jesus imagery', but that wouldn't make much sense seeing as these ponies didn't have anything like JC in their history or culture. But the crown... Unnerved you.
>You heard the hooves of Cookie as she walked towards you. You sensed her look to your face, then follow your gaze.
>”I can see why... Why he was so scared when he found it.”
>You barely acknowledge that as you continue to sketch everything you could settle your eyes on. The autumnal leaves above her corpse, her empty eyes.
>You feel Cookie looking towards to you again, and you look down towards her in return.
>She looked... Disgusted. You couldn't blame her. Murders were rare enough in this country, and this was the most gruesome one you'd ever heard of here.
>”Well?”
“Well, what?”
>”Aren't you going to do your usual thing. Walk about the crime scene with your massive notebook and talk through how you would've done the crime?”
>You wryly grin for a moment, then wipe that off your face.
“Well. We're clearly looking at someone with vision. They had a pretty clear idea of how they wanted this body to look, and put a lot of effort into making it that way.”
>”So... this was personal? Someone hated this mare so much they had to... desecrate the body like this?”
>You shook your head
“No. Your kind might be the sort for crimes of passion. But staging your 'passions' like this? This is... art. She's merely a tool of our killer, a piece of the canvas. Or the canvas itself.”
>Cookie growled.
>”That's sick anon.”
>You shrug to yourself.
“Hey. I'm not the one that killed her.”
>”No pony would do this to another. I've never heard of ponies going this far with their victims. It's got to be...”
>You laugh bitterly.
“I've heard of this. Back on Earth. Never saw it myself, but it ain't unknown. Some people... Feel they have a point to prove. And this...”
>You point to the body.
“Is the only means at their disposal.”
>>
>>33415033
>Cookie finally tore her eyes away from you and looked back to the poor mare's body.
>”So. Work out the message, find the killer?”
>You sniff.
“Doubt it. Killer's a madman. Message probably won't make any fucking sense. We get hoofprints on the neck and rope. Check out that crown. Search the area, see if our killer was sloppy and dropped something.”
>”I'll call in a team.”
“Hmm.”
>Cookie glared at you for a second, huffed, and returned to the carriage.
>You continue to sketch things out. The crown was intricate. Swirling patterns of thorns and twigs. From a glance, it looked like a bird's nest, but there were other things interwoven into the crown. Glass, metals... Paper.
>Perhaps the killer was being slightly more obvious with their message after all.
>Cookie returns.
>”Team will be here in five. Told them to sweep the field when they arrive. Coroner's coming to pick up the body.”
“Good. There's something in that crown. I think it'll be important.”
>”I thought you said that the killer's message would be unimportant?”
>You almost acknowledge the attack but elect the same cool indifference that had kept you going so far.
“Trying to divine a message written in corpses will lead only to madness. A written message? I ain't heard of that driving people mad.”
>You point out the small bits of paper interspersed within the crown.
>”What kind of murderer leaves clues at the crime scene?”
“The kind that wants to be caught.”
>The two of you stood there for a few moments in silence.
>”I hate to ask now... but my coltfriend keeps bugging me about it...”
>You turn to Cookie, an exasperated look on her face
“Dinner?”
>She nods.
>You turn back to the hanging corpse, the flies gathering around her abdomen and face.
“Hopefully it shall be better than theirs.”
>>
>>33415041
>The two detectives both have their eyebrows raised, and clearly, have questions.
“You're wondering how she could possibly be so naive?”
>Seeker speaks up.
>”Serial killers leave messages all the time.”
>You wryly grin and take another swig of Irish coffee.
“You've got to remember, murders alone were pretty rare in those days. This...”
>You tap the photo of the crime scene.
“Might've just been the first Serial killer in Equestrian history. We're sort of used to it now. And we certainly were used to it where I came from...”
>The two detectives looked between each other.
“But most of the modern serial killers are really just copycats of her. Just variations on a theme.”
>You take another swig.
“You found another one right?”
>The two detectives flinch
>”We're just trying to work out your method. You and Cookie cracking this case is the stuff of legend.”
>You slam your mug down, a little harder than necessary, and decide to just drink from the flask before speaking.
“Hmm... Come on. You found another one didn't you?”
>The two detectives shared another glance, glanced briefly towards you, then whisper between themselves.
“You wouldn't have hunted me down otherwise. You found someone.”
>Seeker stood up and trotted out of the room while Truthhound turned to you.
>>
>>33415048
>”You found the killer that same year. Did you ever think maybe she didn't do it?”
>You grin, your suspicions confirmed.
“I always... had my doubts. Both me and Cookie... Whatever happened between us. We found a murderer.”
>”But perhaps not your murderer?”
>Seeker returned to the room and past you a case file as you grinned and leaned back, leafing through the papers.
>It was nothing you hadn't seen before. After all, you knew what they wanted you for the minute they arrived at your house.
>In fact... the sheer lack of writing was what you were interested in. A brief, clinical description of the way this new mare was hung from a tree, her limbs broken, her neck snapped, and a crown of thorns placed atop her head. Almost exactly the same as the case fifteen years ago.
>”We're wondering...”
“How could it be her? If we already caught her in 08?”
>You lean back
“How indeed detectives?”
>”We figured you'd be the one to know.”
>You smile, remembering your teacher
>You slide the file back across and looking the two of them in the eyes
“Then start asking the right fucking questions.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvKjpGP6P5Y
>>
>>33415054
You have my attention. Noir-questria isn't a setting I've read before
>>
>>33415054
Damn, son.
>>
>>33415081
Thanks man. It's getting late here so perhaps more tomorrow
>>33415186
Is that a good "Damn" or bad "Damn"? :D
>>
>>33415204
>Is that a good "Damn" or bad "Damn"? :D
Good, but it'll absolutely turn into a bad one if the serial killer is Anonymous.
>>
>>33415222
It would be exceptionally hard (and a complete asspull) to pull that off as a twist when he's the POV character. No, he ain't the killer
>>
>>33415254
In that case, you have my eager attention for further storytelling; it reads like a good episode of a crime drama.
>>
>>33415054
Oh shit. Hope there's more
>>
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>>33415054

>It had been a long day, combing the field with beat cops and others to find any evidence the killer may have left behind
>Whoever this killer was, they were precise. Clean. Leaving nothing but corpses, taking nothing but photographs. You couldn't even find any hoofprints in the dirt that weren't your fellow cops or your own shoes.
>You'd have to wait until the coroner did his job. Or perhaps...
“You ever hear of anything like this? You've been on the force longer than I have.”
>Cookie turns to you, keeping her hooves on the reins of the carriage before she shook her head.
>”This is definitely a first for me. I think for anyone.”
“Must be the pyschosphere.”
>”The Psycho fear?”
>You sigh.
“No. The... the idea of the collective unconsciousness. That the structure of the unconsciousness is shared across a species, and that despite the conscious apparently being unique, the underlying structure holding up the idea of the self is universal across a species.”
>”What the... Are you high? Is this what they teach you on Earth's detective's schools?”
>You look out of the window of the covered carriage, towards the dying orange orb of the setting sun, and as the shadows lengthened around you.
“No. The point being... That my being here has created a new... Perspective, that without my willing or aim, is changing the underlying structures of a pony's consciousness enough that they might act... Human.”
>Cookie scoffs.
>”Stop getting drunk before work Mous. It's unprofessional.”
“Oh, is that the angle I'm going for here?”
>”So... You think that because you're in Equestria that somehow you're responsible for this gruesome murder?”
“I don't think there is an Equestria.”
>Cookie fully turns to you now, an exasperated look on her face.
>”Goddess. Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
>You flinch slightly.
“You ever been in a dream... In a nightmare that you can't wake up from?”
>>
>>33417363
>”Shut up Mous.”
>You sigh and smile bitterly to yourself.
“Should I bring anything?”
>If Cookie is surprised by the sudden change in conversation she doesn't show it.
>”Bottle of wine. Maybe some dessert.”
“Wine it is. What's your boyfriend's name again?”
>She huffs as she steers the carriage back onto the main road.
>”My Coltfriend's Cakewise.”
>The name... Is fucking stupid. So much so you are actually struck by its stupidity.
“Cakewise? God damn, you ponies cannot name things for shit.”
>”Your name is literally Anon.y.mous, you're hardly one to talk.”
“Fair. Can't argue with that.”
>The two of you continue the drive in solemn silence, only breaking your view of the outside world to glance back at your notes and drawings of the body. Of the crown of thorns, and the twisted broken limbs. Her dark eyes, boring into the sky.
>>
>>33417365
>You glance as the two detectives begin to set up the camera.
>”Today's date. 1028PLB. Interview with P.D Cookie, ex-detective sergeant.”
>You smile softly at the name and whisper beneath your breath.
“Memories.”
>The two detectives, one male, one female, sit down across from you.
>”Do you know why you're here?”
>You wince a little.
“Your guy mentioned it on the carriage ride here. About the Stardew case?”
>The two detectives looked between each other, then back to you and nodded.
“I don't often like to think back to those days. I wasn't in a great place with... With my life. And Mous hardly helped things in that regard.”
>”Yeah. We talked to him. Interesting guy.”
>You laugh bitterly.
“Hmm... Interesting. I suppose he is one of a kind. If you talked to him why am I here? I figured if nothing else he'd be willing to talk about the case that made our name?”
>The older mare taps the table slightly with her hoof.
>”We need another perspective. Mous is... Driven, but we need the pony approach.”
“Last I heard he was in another country. I didn't even know for sure he was still alive.”
>”So you haven't been in contact with him?”
>You snarl slightly, but breathe out and calm yourself down.
“No. Not since... '13.”
>”When he left the force?”
“Exactly. We were never friends. I saw no reason to talk to him outside of work.”
>”Didn't he go to your wedding? Years before?”
>Bitterness flows through your veins for a moment.
“And look how that turned out. For all involved.”
>”Let's start at the beginning. Before even the case. When'd you and Mous first meet?”
>The question confused you for a moment. Made you suspicious. Still, you wanted to help out a fellow cop.
“It was earlier the same year as the Stardew case. He had just joined the force, telling the chief he was a cop on earth...”
>>
>>33417369
>You remember your first meeting with the man. How he loomed over damn near everypony. Those brittle eyes that lingered too long on whatever he looked at. You could see his soul on the edges of his eyes, and it was not a healthy thing.
>You remember greeting him as politely and with as much friendliness as you could. How he shook your hand, and you felt nothing but ice flowing in those veins.
>You were new to policing. Only twenty years old, fresh out of the academy and already thrown into the Murder Squad. He... If you were to guess from what knowledge you had of humans (none) he was about thirty. Maybe late twenties and just had it rough.
>You told him your name. He told you his. And that was essentially all you got out of him for two days.
>Humans, if he was an example of a normal one, apparently don't like each other very much. Or anything that reminds them of each other.
>It was day three when you two got your first case. It was pretty open/shut. The stallion had been caught at the scene of the crime, the murder weapon at his hooves. But the judges wanted a confession before they sent him away. And the chief decided to try you and Ano... Mous out for it.
>>
>>33417372
>”I didn't... I didn't do it. I found her like that.”
>You place your hoof against his, trying to abate his guilt. Perhaps he was right? He was crying after all. Sniffling. He looked broken. He loved her. He didn't need...
>Mous slammed a file down on the desk as he loomed over the pony. You couldn't entirely blame him, the chair was too small.
>”You ever had money troubles Boy?”
>The question startled him. Mous's voice was harsh and stern. Sudden. It barely gave Ashlane time to consider the question.
>”No... sir? We... I earned enough to keep us in house and home. We had a happy...”
>”Did it hurt? Knowing that every moment you were working, every hour you were slaving away she did nothing? That you were throwing away the best years of your life, the years where you would be able to actually enjoy it, on a woman that sat at home?”
>Anon opened the file.
>”She was unemployed for two years. Two years. She didn't have any friends. No job. No life. She was wasting what you had given away to support her.”
>The suspect paled and stammered as you could only watch Mous' face as it contorted into righteous fury. You had never seen him like this. Usually, he was... Cold. Blank. Empty. This was fury and rage you had hardly ever seen equalled. It frightened you. It must've terrified Ashlane.
>”I... I loved her!”
>”You loved the woman she once was perhaps. The baker, the lover. The woman with dreams and hopes. But she died years ago didn't she?”
>”I...”
>”Some when, at night, while you worried about bills and dreaded waking up to go to work the next morning you realized she had left you. Leaving this simulacrum wearing her face in her place. None of her passion or joy. Just... Sat there. Barely even alive.”
>You had to step in. It looked like he was going to tear poor Ashlane apart with his hands and teeth.
“Mous! Enough!”
>Mous turned to you at last, seething through his teeth. He threw up his forelimbs and paced around.
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>>33417378
“Ashlane. If you didn't do it, why were she and the murder weapon found at your hooves?”
>Ashlane sniffed.
>”I found her like that.”
>Mous had the gall to laugh at that. A halting biting thing that sounded painful just to listen to.
>”Fuck that. You killed her. Admit it.”
>”No!”
>”All those days she sat at home and did nothing. Whined at you the moment you came back from work for some shit. She did nothing with the gift of life, and you gave her all you had. Why... It wouldn't even be murder.”
>Ashlane flinched, and you saw that to your horror Anon was right. He did kill her. This coward killed her with his own hooves and still refused to acknowledge it.
“Tell him the truth Ashlane.”
>You were on Anon's side now. As harsh and cruel as he was, he was correct.
>”I...”
>”Admit it. You know what happens if you don't? We're going to 'find' some evidence that connects you to the crime anyway. Hoofprints. Witness Testimony. Written Confession. It don't matter.”
>Anon now sat down carefully, using the back of the chair as his seat.
>”Without your confession, you won't make it to court. Where I'm from, people like you... sooner or later they tie off the only loose end left. Hang there and show the world the guilt they couldn't admit to in life. And in that last instance before the light leaves their eyes they realize just how far they've fallen.”
>You turned to Anon. Gobsmacked at what he was implying. His face was stone. He took no joy in insinuating what he was insinuating. It was if he was merely telling Ashlane a fundamental fact of the universe.
>”Tell me. Tell me what we both know is true.”
>”I... I killed her.”
>And with that Anon immediately left the room. Not a word passed his lips before he left to report they had... Broken this man down.
>Ashlane turned to you
>”He was right. All of it.”
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>>33417385
>You turn to the two detectives.
“That's when I really learned about Mous. He didn't care about feelings, or what was good. He cared about being right. It made him... an awful person to know, to be around, to lo... To work with. But damn if it didn't make him a good detective.”
>you think on those days, disgusted with yourself as old feelings bubble beneath your skin.
“Why am I talking about Mous? Your here about the Stardew case? I've got files...”
>Seeker interrupts you
>”We've heard about the first day from Mr Mous. But he was awfully silent about that dinner you, he and Mr Cakewise had. What can you tell us about that night?”
>You grit your teeth, a nasty habit you had picked up from Anon years ago, and close the files. You are a little confused why they care about a single dinner, but shrug your withers
“Dinner? Right. Mr Mous turned up with a bottle of wine, having already polished off another...”
>>
>>33417389
>Not a word passed his lips before he left to report they had... Broken this man down.
>man
Shouldn't it be stallion? Since this is the perspective of Cookie and it'd be odd she took on Anon's vernacular.

Small detail, but an important one none the less that keeps the reader engaged.
>>
>>33417389
Hmm. I feel like this might have gone a little far off the premise that friendship is magic; Anonymous lacks friends and is a bad influence on those around him. I'd kind of like to see some repairs to the damage if you can do it while keeping the dark tone of the central plot.
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>>33319226
Just read your green from the start. Its good. Some days are a bit all over the place. Especially the day AJ dumped him. Just turning around like that on the spot...
Anon swears a lot. Like unnecesarily lot.

But keep it up, like to read more.
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>>33417916
Well, the sort of point of the story is the effect people have on one another, for good or ill. But yeah you're right, my bad.

>>33417927
Don't worry. It'll get brighter before it gets darker again before getting lighter again.
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>>33417389
Your writing is not bad and the dialog came off pretty well. The story isn't my thing though. Do continue. I'm sure there's others ITT that like it.
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>>33376992
hey, I was just looking for your story because I remember reading it ages ago but the other thread is non-existant anymore.
do you have an approximate pointer where in your story that migration happened?
One of tha later things I remember is Anon being with the zebras receiving one of his things back they didn't know what it was (probably the electromagnet) and him being cared for by the masked zebra that's strongly hinted at to be Zecora but he has not yet realized it
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>>33419784
Posts like this always make my day. Glad I could hold your attention for this long, anon.
I moved over here from Magicless right as I started Pastebin #6, and it sounds like you stopped at Line #2310 in said Pastebin. Hope that helps 'ya.
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>>33419836
yeah it was good shit, didn't let me go.
really glad to see it still alive and kicking.
>>
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