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There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

"My mare wants to party all the time" edition

Old thread >>33198712

Stories by Tsar Anon: https://pastebin.com/BnjZqwM3

Stories by DGCT: https://pastebin.com/u/dontgooglecrotchtits

Minty's Careful Steps: https://pastebin.com/P2aD5GVa

A Heart Longs for Another: https://pastebin.com/11TXCVXJ

Muted Heartbeat: https://pastebin.com/TPH2m6cU

The Sun Where You Belong: https://pastebin.com/WRUW1xQu

The Taming of the Harsh: https://pastebin.com/pVk0yjP7

The Broken Carousel (Part 1): https://pastebin.com/TJELn7vt
The Broken Carousel (Twilight Sparkle Interlude 1): https://pastebin.com/LvSPqhwG
The Broken Carousel (Part 2): https://pastebin.com/TBUr6F5f

Quest for the Forbidden Lover: https://pastebin.com/SRTzXyLm

Moon Dancer’s Hope Chest: https://pastebin.com/BFbyEcBg

Mate Retrieval Expedition: https://pastebin.com/U72A3jGU

Untitled /nmp/ green by Cosmic: https://pastebin.com/Xytb3xMC

Stories by Trandhal: https://pastebin.com/u/trandhal

This Heart That Fears: https://pastebin.com/0b7L24Ln

Violet Memory: https://pastebin.com/e9Ec1vd1

Tsukumogami:
https://pastebin.com/WPw3dNdP

Express Ticket to Tartarus
https://pastebin.com/KLNWHDkz

Low Self-Esteem Applejack
https://pastebin.com/x5FMfxc0

All I want from christmas
https://pastebin.com/XHH5UPCN

A collection of miscellaneous greens since the first thread.
https://pastebin.com/0JMPM6F8
>>
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flanks
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>>33225267
>OP forgot to add the deca.mare green
You had one job
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>>33225267
Would you marry the mare? I know I would.
>>
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>>33225478
Do you have ask? Of course.
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>>33225478
The answer is always YES
>>
>>33225509
What's she gonna put the ring on?
>>
>>33225576
Her marecock
>>
>>33225267
Remember when this thread wasn't a general?
>>
>>33225594
This thread has always been a general
>>
>>33225594
Yeah it was nice and incel free.
>>
>>33225478
yes, yes and thrice yes
>>
>>33225478
Mmmmh I don't know...
>>
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>>33225478
The better question is would she want to marry me?
>>
> Luna had a hard time adjusting to modern times.
> It's affected her in a lot of ways, but worst of all was her social life.
> Making friends was difficult for her.
> Romance was at this point was impossible.
> Cadence however never gave up hope that one day, she could something for her.
> Some mares and a stallion for her to start a herd with, or maybe even a herd for her to join.

> The year passed after she returned.
> Over time Luna stopped asking about finding love.
> When they visited, she simply expressed she had moved on from that sort of thing.
> Those words hurt Cadence more than anything else.
> She redoubled her efforts to find her somepony.

> Finally, she found a stallion and two mares.
> Immediately she had them invited to the Crystal Empire.
> Wanting to surprise Luna, she took the ponies to Canterlot.
> Talking to Luna in private, she was going to reveal the surprise.
> Unfortunately she had a suprise for you.
> She had found a lover in the last few weeks.
> One of the strange creatures that had been appearing in Equestria over the last year.

> Your heart sank.
> You had to stop this.
> The heart had found her perfect match.
> You wouldn't let some hyooman ruin that for Luna.

>"While I was courting him last night... He even said that he would prefer to be mine alone, rather than herd. Oh, how wonderful he is~"

> You REALLY needed to stop him now.
>>
>>33226231
>he couldn't post this last thread because based Anthony updated his green
You no longer have any power here.
>>
>>33226240
>STILL triggered
lol
>>
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>>33226260
Maybe you should just shut the fuck up yourself
>>
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Is she an acceptable mare?
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>>33226311
>>
>>33226311
[ ] Is Luna
[ ] is Lyra
[x] is a mare

That seems acceptable to me.
>>
>>33226311
That was answered last thread >>33204757
No, not a mare in any way except shape.
>>
>>33226351
O B S E S S E D
>>
>>33226353
wow, that just proved that we are not furfags
>>
>>33225386
FUCK I knew I forgot something

Shape Your Home
https://pastebin.com/XMi6VhS5
>>
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>>33226311
Of course she is, not her fault the writers decided to keep her solely in eqg-land for whatever reason, might have been the backlash towards that being 'canon' but i dont know.
Personally i think she would have been Twilight's student instead of Glimmer, it was pretty obvious they were going to do something else with the ol glimglam given how ridiculous her 'redemption' and evil motivation was, how her character did a complete 180' after she stopped being a villain and how she pretty much dropped the issue of cutie marks completely after that first episode.
Honestly the whole eqg universe REALLY doesnt make sense when you pay attention to it.
1) She's lived there for years as a literal alien with apparently no problems.
2) In a world where smartphones and youtube exists, "Nobody would believe you if you mentioned magic" is apparently a credible threat, especially after voids in space to another world/dimension appeared randomly all over the place.

I just pretend it doesn't exist, and it's just the weird dreams of a human obsessed Sunset shimmer who only knows surface level things about humans and human society and has pieced together her own headcanon about how things work, with her own biases factored in like the weird skin colours.
She's probably wrote fanfics.
>>
>>33226760
Ponies are perfectly fine. Stay away with anything non-pony and we're perfectly dandy.
>>
>>33225576
it’s an earring, or goes around the dock
>>
>>33225620
not the first iteration, and there were anons who wanted this to not become a general and instead be an occasional thing like bdance threads.
>>
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>>33225267
Daily Reminder : Mares are Pure
>>
>>33226929
>werar
>>
There are two mares who will become extremely sad and begin crying if you press button 1. There is one mare who will become extremely sad and begin crying if you press button 2. Without your interference, button 1 will press itself. What do you do?
>>
>>33227222
Depends who the mares are. If the two mares of button 1 are Luna and Lyra, then I press the fuck out of button 1 because those two thots deserve sadness.
>>
>>33226800
>around the dock
UNF
>>
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>>33227235
>Lyra deserving anything but hugs and affection
shiggy
>>
>>33227248
Maybe before she slutted it up and became a vile THOT, she would have deserved affection. Now she deserves only pain.
Not as much as Luna, though.
>>
>>33227222
Do nothing.
As you said, two mares will be sad if *I* press button 1; you didn't say anything about what they'd do if button 1 pressed itself without my intervention.
>>
>>33227263
Luna is worse. Way worse.
>>
>>33227222
Press button 2 and then immediately go over and comfort said mare
>>
>>33227222
Jam something into the side of button 1 so it cannot press itself.
Then go and find those three mares and try to make them happy, I guess? Dunno, plan falls apart at that point.
>>
>>33227222
Interfere in such a manner that neither button is pressed, provide pre-emptive comfort in the event button is pushed despite my efforts, research mysterious depression console.
>>
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>>33226760
>Sunset is just a massive human-obssesed nerd that fantasizes about adventures in the human world with favourite heroes
>Writes fanfiction about self-inserting herself in the heroes company and helping them save the day
>Including an edgy backstory where shes redeemed by THE Princess twilight sparkle herself
Top Cute
>>
>>33227581
What's with that weird brown hair, tan skinned weirdo in the background?
>>
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>mmm henlo hueman
>beefcake arrive
>let us make many love with your peanus
>hoofspider tickle my belli
>>
>>33226311
yes
don't listen to the incelrage, she's a mare
>>
>>33226760
That makes a lot of sense.
>>
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>"What's up, soul mate? Tasty living quarters you have here, where do we sleep?"
>'Holy shit, a talking horse!'
>>
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>>33227629
That'd be the most romantic affection I've ever received. With my luck she'd probably be joking or something.
>>
>>33228238
nah dude not even, dot dot curry mares are canon
as i'm sure russkie and neighponese mares
>"I wan biggu husbando! He hord me velly close and we mekku big ruv!"
>>
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>>33228239
I want to make russkie mare my tsarevna and live long and happy with her.
>>
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>>33228239
I'd a qt Japanese mare.
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>>33228341
>>
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>>33228239
>Little mare flirts with you
>It was a prank
>You totally weren't enamored from the moment she started talking to you
>>
>>33228380
Can you shitpost something happy for a change
I know you're destroyan the board and it's all xd, but c'mon, shit
>>
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>>33228395
>not enjoying a little bit of the sad feels every now and then
>>
Time for one final goodnight /nmp/. I hope you all get wonderful sleep. I know I will, though I won't be waking up tomorrow.
Make your waifu proud. Be better than me. I hope all of you make it to Equestria even though I won't.
>>
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>>33228413
>>33228413
You're right I don't have enough of those already in real life, I want more on my escapist fantasy horse board.
>>
>>33228380
>when the little mare doesn't know how to approach you, you being a weird bipedal monkey and all but she still really wants to give it a go but once your autism kicks in and you lock up in terror after she'd tell you that she thinks you're cute and that she'd like to go get a drink with you she takes it as you not being interested in her and copes with it by making it pass as some joke
maybe it was your own fault to begin with
>>
>>33228430
Bye, I'll see you when I get there, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISqEvEBv43M
>>
>>33228430
don't be silly anon
>>
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>>33228450
>autism kicks in and you blank the fuck out
ok immersion too real stop
>>
>>33228430
Did you at least follow the song?
https://youtu.be/kE186w91YVU
>>
>>33228462
which is why assertive mares are best, they know what they want and won't let something as silly as your autism or your lack of consent be an insurmountable wall for her love
>>
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>>33228430
Sweet dreams anon
>>
>>33228430
>ponies can observe us with magic.
>mare banging on the little viewpane, begging for you to stop, to wait just a little bit longer.
>cadence wrapping the mare in a full body hug as the viewpane turns dark and cracks, echoed by the crack of the little mares heart as her sobs fill the room.

Dont make a mare sad anons, you can endure.
>>
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>>33228828
We will never know for certain. That's why we need to persevere
>>
>>33229246
that hoof is upside down
I can't believe I never realized that
>>
>>33229248
It's not "upside down" it's reaching out to you.
>>
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>>33229246
I know it's reaching out to (you) silly
it's still upside down
>>
>>33229248
>>33229451
>>33229454
What's wrong with that? I thought it was the intention.
>>
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>>33229246
because her hoof is supposed to go that way
GOD

stop making me sound like a fucking autist already
>>
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>>33229475
Wait a moment. One is turned to (you) and she's putting the other one over the frame like she's hanging on it. I don't see what the problem is.
>>
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>>33229492
because hooves aren't supposed to be able to turn that way
okay maybe PINKIE could, but it still looks weird af
>>
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>>33229499
They totally do turn that way. Especially Pinkie's.
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>>33229499
Hooves on horses or real ponies don't turn that way. These hooves do however.
>>
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Mares defy horse anatomy.
>>
>>33229856
>>33229874
yeah I'm being silly and have been looking at too many real horses lately
I just can't really seem to visualize how the muscles and bones would have to

yeah nah
>>
>>33229880
>muscles and bones
Ponies are made of marshmallows, though.
>>
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>>33229880
I do prefer proper anatomically correct ponies, but some cartoony exceptions are too cute to pass up.
>>
>>33229884
yeah, when you want to hug them and make love to them they are
when you start wanting to draw them tho, that's when the real fun begins
>>
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>>33229884
Marshmallow bones
>>
>>33229888
Now I'm just imagining having sex with Pinkie and she's making squeaky toy sounds the whole time.
>>
>>33229897
>she squeaks extra hard whenever your tip bumps into her deepest part
It's kinda fun and hot here and now but idk if it wouldn't make you go insane irl TBQH
>>
>>33226929
>dat pic
lol that's why i'm a faggot
>>
>>33228828
Please, a man who kills himself never would have had a mare care for him in the first place.
>>
>>33230041
>implying mare wouldn't be one of the few who would believe that he'd be able to pull himself out of that deathspiral
I want to believe
>>
>>33229878
>marespreading
>>
>>33230112
>>>/rgre/
>>
>>33230148
no fun allowed
>>
>>33230110
mare wouldn't place her belief in the wrong man, is what I'm saying. She has good enough judgment to tell if someone isn't able to be saved.
>>
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>Mares come to earth looking for husbands, courting them and swiftly taking them home.
>Earth's atmosphere ( 'memetic magical field' by the few ponies who have deigned to answer questions) interacts strangely with equestrians, but they adapt quickly and pursue their objective regardless.
>The little pony thought it wasn't too much different from mixing rainbows, she could still make her patterns well enough at least, even the special one she's been practicing.
>The average sized man had the distinct impression that a small alien he could hold in the palm of his hand was trying to sweep him off his feet, and that it was working.
>>
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>>33230523
How adorable.
>>
>>33230523
Cute.
Poner gonna get petted.
>>
>>33230523
Wouldn't she get hair all over the coffee?
>>
>>33230622
Wouldn't she get hair all over regardless of size?
>>
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>>33230523
She may be small but no task is too tall
>>
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>>33230622
Anon please, she's a gentlemare and made sure to preen and brush herself fully before going husbando hunting.
She needs to look her very best for her match after all.
>>
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>>33230575
>mini lyra accidentally falls down into the garbage disposal thanks to a wonk calculation the unicorns made while teleporting her to my house
>can't her her mini cries for help with the water on as i am doing dishes
>turn on the switch to chop up the food waste in the drain
>i don't even hear her mini bloodcurdling cries of agony but i do hear the rattling of her bones against the blades and think i must have dropped a fork or something in their
>mfw i pull out a gorey lump of a miniature lyra corpse
>>
American
A mare I can
>>
>>33231292
>mare perishes in the midst of a hunt
>her spirit is brought back to the teleportation room and reconstituted physically
>she prepares for another excursion, bolstered by the knowledge of our strange world she has gained
>>
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>>33231396
>>
>>33228430
F.
>>
>>33231396
>>33231404
SOME PONES ARE BORN
MADE TO WAVE THE FLAG

OOH THEY'RE RED WHITE & BLUE
>>
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>>33231292
All too late do you fools feel the sharp sting of loss.
>Macrofag Anon, busy being based and redpilled
>Get snatched up by a huge mare in passing
>Husbando hunts on tutorial mode
>>
>>33231834
10/10 gif my dude
>>
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Would you touch Autumn's fluff?
>>
>>33232214
can i tuch her butt fluff
>>
>>33231428
AND WHEN THE BAND PLAYS HAAIIIL TO THE PRINCESS, THEY PARTY CANNON AT YOU LORD
>>
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>>33232214
Yeah. With a special tool that's perfect for it.
>>
>>33232393
b-but why?
>>
>>33232414
>he doesn't want to make clothes out of her wool so she can forever be with him wherever he is
>>
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Praise be thee,
Mare of eternal and true love.
Thank you, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.
AMORE VULT
>>
>>33232214
Yes, if she'd let me.

>>33232465
AMARE VULT!
>>
>>33232594
It's amore vult, a slightly incorrect translation of 'Love wills it."
>>
>>33232632
I realize that but I was going for the Ancient Latin translation which also has the word "mare" in it.
>>
>>33232465
> saying anything good about the Shepard, master of herds.
>>
>>33232777
Oh cool, it's an animated one. Thanks for the effort. That's going into my troll folder.
>>
>>33232785
Don't you mean ogre folder?
>>
>>33232788
Don't be silly, Anon. It's all ogre, now.
>>
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>>33232777
>pretending to be attracted to pone

Does anyone actually pretend? I don't think I've ever seen any evidence of it, like, ever.
>>
Love has no power in this world.
>>
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NORMALS OUT!
YOU FUCKING WHORSES DON'T DESERVE A HUSBANDO! REEEEEEE!!
>>
>>33233349
Try a shower, then we'll talk. I don't date mares I can smell before I see them.
>>
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>>33232877
>mare realizes this while out hunting one day as she personally witnesses a particularly nasty breakup
>redoubles her efforts to find her love among the many seas of millions
>she looks over her blueprint again before resuming work on The Device, thoughts of hearthswarming with him filling her mind
>a quick check of her soldering, then it was time for another field test
>it was all just a question of time, now.
>>
Just got up to speed with "A Heart Longs For Another"

Is that story still going or is writefag kill?
>>
>>33233374
>He wouldn't huff her sweater like there was no tomorrow
What the freak are you gay or something
>>
>>33233374
>not liking mare's potent aroma
Get out normie.
>>
>>33232465
>Year 2030, from the ashes of the beta uprising some entrepreneurial anons perform a ritual to crash the old order down and consume the planet in autism
>A hole in reality is forced and the gods of autism flood through, The Screeching Vortex taints the lands of North America
>The forces of normalfaggotry are able to build the Psy-fence, a bunch of antenna with runes taught by the Demiurge and Moloch to hold back the Screeching Vortex
>The gods all select champions to aid their efforts to become the pre-emminent god in the new order
>Cadance sends one of her praetorian to you, a Matchmaker to bring you her decree
>The impossibly beautiful pegasus brings Her message; convince all men to put down their arms and worship Her so that they may be united with their perfect mare for all eternity and end the tyranny of whoredom
>Cadance's charisma rubs off on you, allowing your words to convince men more easily though she does say being near thots is physically painful and you become an anathema to their presence
>Ave Cadenza, you set off for your journey
>>
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Imagine, for a moment, kissing a mare.
>>
>>33233567
https://youtu.be/yvVKOervF98
i want to serenade my mare under the mistletoe on a comfy hearth's warming
>>
>mfw burgers would have to try to please their mare with a mutilated dick
Just one more reason amerimutts won't be allowed in.
>>
>>33233405
It seemed dead for a while but it just updated a week ago or so. Hopefully it is back. Luna needs to know she is loved.
>>
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>>33233671
>[user lacked necessary license for this post]
>[user has been arrested for hatespeech]
>>
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>>33233459
>roam the wastes empowered by autistic devotion to a pony love goddess
>watch thots go nuclear and destroy the parasitic relationships they've tried to build, just by standing near them
>Matchmaker brings the word of Condense, whispering in your ear at night to give you the words needed to persuade the hearts of the masses
>join Matchmaker in holy maretrimony when your work is done
Where do I sign up?
>>
>>33233703
>[user was shot for this post]
>>
>>33233718
nope, got you first muhammad farooq longbottom
>>
>>33233405
I am not kill, and neither is my green. I've just been dealing with a mixture of writer's block and forgetting to take my medicine every day. But I'm nearing the end of my fall quarter now, so I'm going to try to have some progress made on the next update before dead week hits. I'll try to have a new update before next year, if all goes as planned. I struggled on this most recent chapter for so long because, as I've stated before, I had written myself into a depressive episode and had trouble trying to figure out a way to forward the narrative, but I've finally pushed past that and can now move the story along. Sorry for my inconsistent updates.

>>33233672
Nice timestamp, lad.
>>
>>33233723
All I'm saying is, your Jewish overlords (along with Donald "Make Israel Great Again" Trump) will just lure you away from the mares with a burger on string.
>>
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>>33233730
Good shit lad. I started your green and caught up in one go. Glad to hear this isn't the end.

t. moonfag
>>
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>>33233744
This is why no one likes you niggers; so fucking divisive.
>waaah burgers this
>abloo burgers that
>>
>>33233744
>>33233723
Celestia’s alabaster teets, will you fucks stop arguing and baiting. You’re derailing the thread and making it shit, take it somewhere else.
So what would your first date be, what would you do with her?
>>
will you help your mare take care of her hair?
>>
>>33233819
What are the circumstances here? Do I have a lot of money for a nice date, or am I going to hike her on my bike and tell her she can only order from the dollar menu?
>>
>>33233833
Completely up to you, it’s up to you to acquire the money if you want to do expensive things
>>
>>33233744
I mean, the US have a lot of problems
But trying to defend britbongistan just seems wrong
Don't you feel filthy after saying these things? Do you shower often?
>>
>>33233819
you're right, let's talk about the thots instead and why they're evil and don't want anything to do with us because they're bad people
>>
>>33233847
>But trying to defend britbongistan just seems wrong
not even bongs try to defend bongistan anymore
its gone so far off the deep end
>>
>>33233848
Wasteland waifus best waifus
>>
>>33233843
I'm getting real tired of you boomers
>>
>>33233848
>>33233860
I want to heal the heart of a hardened warrior mare with cuddles and affection
>>
>>33233708
>the essence of the universe will be known to you. the greatness of Autism will be yours, anon we are waiting for an answer
>>
>>33233899
Can’t just receive money, makes it worthless. It also shows her you’re a provider and you can dab on your zoomer foals when they ask you for financial advice
>>
I've been away from /nmp/ for four months or so. Any good green posted and pastebinned recently?
>>
>>33233860
>rough around the edges, possibly psychotic due to lack of affection; but means well
muh heart
>>
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>>33233971
>tfw teaching foals the cutthroat business practices of minimizing management to free up more money for manufacturing so you can undercut boomers hiring the cheapest labor possible
>>
>>33233398
>NPN transistor
nice cutie mark
But I don't think Equestria has developed solid-state technology yet.
>>
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>>33233567
>>
>>33233899
Money makes the world go round.
>>
>>33233823
Brushing her mail and tail would be a daily thing i would never, ever get tired of.
>>
>>33233823
Every single day.
>>
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>>33233823
uhhhhhh
>>
>>33234277
>Brushing her mail and tail
>mail
Shes in Royal Guard then?
>>
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>>33233567
It's not possible to imagine something as good as that happening.
>>
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Hey uh, far be it from me to complain, you know, but like..does anyone elses match seem a little ehh "militant" about certain issues?
>"Anon, are you listening to those griffish lies again?"
>>
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>>33234566
What do you think mare kisses would be like?
>>
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>>33234765
Ah shit you've still got the earthen mind virus suppressing your instincts, dont worry anon your mare will help you get through this.
Just remember: "If it walks on more or less than four hooves it's bad news."
>>
>>33234909
Awkward but still utterly divine.
>>
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>>33233708
believe it or not, but Cadance says if your heart is pure and your love is true, you have nothing to fear.
And you already signed up by being HERE
>>
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>>33235453
did the real cadance say that or did you mean the sweaty gook inside that fursuit
>>
>>33235487
>its actually Cadence in Cadence fursuit
>noone expects that
>a perfect disguise
>>
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> Mare, waiting for her Husbando, 2018 colorized
>>
>>33235506
>Cadance appears out of the fursuit, all loyal horsefuckers bow before her.
>She responds with a speech "Come all ye faithful, all this love. I must say you are all fools!"
>Cadance rips off her mane and skin flaps off in a rubbery suit
>"It was me! Dio!"[spoiler/]
>>
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>>33235487
The princess of love is all about true love. This is why thots need not apply.

And yes, actual Cadance said that.
>>
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>>33235557
>>
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>>33235568
>teen cadance
>through some magical snafu blah blah blah, all selected husbandos arrive in equestria as teens themselves
H-HAHAHAHA, THERE'S A CHANCE
THERE'S TIME FOR A DO OVER
>>
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>>33235556
>>
>>33235610
Watching the state of man through some mcguffian, she begins to play the lament of the fall of troy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MXlV3x9hSQ
>>
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>>33235610
>>
>>33235032
yeah I wonder how a biped would react to this
oh wait I'm one!
>>
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>>33234909
IRL mare nuzzling is the closest thing I know. It tickles because of the whiskers and the way they usually wiggle their upper lip, but it's pleasant and really warm because of their breath.
>>
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mmm mares
>>
Tell me about your mare.
>>
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>>33236243
>>
>>33236243
She's wonderful, cute, smart, loving, and all-around perfect except that she's not real.
>>
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>>33225267
You guys might be interested
>>33229563
>>
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>>33236458
>petshit
>rgre
Yikes. That's a hard pass from me.
>>
>>33236500
what awful taste you have
>>
>>33236503
we don't go to your job and smack the corndog out of your hands, don't come to our thread and expect your shit to be liked
>>
>>33236503
You gotta bait harder than that, mate.
>>
>ponies go up to the knee
Perfect carrying size.
>>
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>>33236550
>"Oh no! Gollers! Ah, gee wiz!"
>"Anon, I guess I was having too much fun and in my aforementioned fun I think I broke that scary mirror and stomped all the shards into dust!"
>>
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>>33236576
>post picture for height comparisons that are at least somewhat official
>you act like I somehow endorse the dougpeople
>>
>>33236521
alright but im not the crosslinker
>>
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>>33236550
Too small.
>>
>>33236617
what did you do, Ray
>>
>>33236685
it's LOOKING at me, Ray
>>
>>33236550
>yay you can carry them!
>they can barely hug you but who cares
>oh and you can't have sexual intercourse without hurting her either but who cares
>look, cats are cute okay?!
ugh, not canon
>>
>>33236697
You're vastly overestimating the average size of Anons, I think.
And the pliability of pones
>>
>>33236713
>You're vastly overestimating the average size of Anons, I think.
The average of around 5.5 inches would still stretch them at that size.
>>
>>33236713
even with a 5" you'd rip her apart anon
this is a gook twi, so she'd be at most 5'4 or maybe 5'5, and pony twi is knee height of THAT size

just look at her midriff, I bet you could feel your fingers if you were to wrap them around it, barely bigger than a fleshlight but has to also hold all the organs in
just no
>>
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>>33236722
>>33236734
Is it so wrong to want to believe magic horses, which have been shown to stretch beyond normal extents, would also be pliable enough for that?
I mean, I'm no fan of meatcondoms so I can understand the concern, but still.
My preferred pony size is head-height at the waist, anyway.
>>
>>33236751
because if you take cartoon physics into account then not only does it make self-inserting yourself way harder, but it also removes the appeal of a lot of things
and even if you were there, you'd feel as if you were in a dream and you'd spend your life completely scared shitless that you'd wake up one day to realize that it was actually a real dream
>>
>>33236751
>head-height at the waist
It has been the "canon" size when making comparison to known objects in the show AND the "canon" size in EqG in those scene where they mix ponies and EqGHumans.
>>33236550 look more like a case of an artist not getting precise directives and going all "awww look at how smol I made it, so cute kawai desu ne x3 XDDDDD"
>>
>>33236751
I mean, I'd be perfectly fine with it. It'd be fun.
>>
should i
>>
>>33236777
>>
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>>33237296
if you wanna get shot, sure
>>
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>>33236751
>head-height at the waist
The perfect poner size.
>>
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>"*Ahem*..Pardon my intrustion, but if it's at all possible, I'd like you to put all the husbandos in this bag, post haste."
>"G-GIMME THE LOOT!"
>>
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>>33237770
There ain't no husbandos in these parts 'ere young lady
Only incels and cow fuckers, yep
>>
>>33237815
I think that picture implies he killed a cow.
>>
>>33237815
Go the fuck back already cuck
>>
>>33237854
why do you need to be naked to kill a cow, anon?
>>
>>33237872
dont get your clothes dirty, and if he’s strangling it then he doesnt want cow smell on them
>>
>>33237815
>cow fuckers
>>
>>33238008
huh, that's smart
>>
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>>33237296
Only acceptable Raifu
>>
>virgin losers posting their assault rifles and extended clips
I hope someone reports you to the FBI before you shoot up a school.
>>
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>>33238927
it was pretty sad b8 too desu
>>
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>>33238816
> this shitty mp40 buttstock
> not superior side-folding stock with clearing tools
>>
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>>33238986
EW OUT OUT OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>33236550
Pre-ordered Ponk, can’t wait for Twilight and Rarity to become available.
>>
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>>33238816
everyone's gotta protect their waifu's smile one way or another
>>
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bust 'em
>>
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>match shitposts on 4pone and masturbates all day like you
we're all gonna make it brah
>>
Studies have shown that dumping off groups of Anons into the Equestrian wasteland reduces gang conflicts in the surrounding area by 99%. If there's one thing the wasteland is really missing, it's dick. Y'know, aside from non-radiated food and water.
>>
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>>33240089
My waifu flies for a living and wants to constantly be in the skies like me.
>>
>>33225267
There is nothing more pure than sucking my dick.

Absolutely nothing more honest and noble than sucking this one anon's 8.6 inch cock.
>>
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>>33240118
Hey you're back, how's cloudsdale treating ya?
>>
>>33240105
I wish there was a name/tag for this pose because it's absolute top cute. I only have 2 pics with ponies sitting this way, in both cases the pone being Littlepip.
>>
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>>33240151
Pretty great. Gets really cold up there this time of year, though. Have to really bundle up and use my waifu as a blanket at night.
>>
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>>33240322
>Actually meeting your waifu and having a dream job
>Not being stuck in a job you hate and wanting to kill yourself
Haha look at this normalfag
>>
>>33239191
I'll just wait here untill you reload that Dragoon with that stupid lever in the front.
>>
>>33234062
Do not besmirch the Goodmare
>>
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>>33228430
F, I'll see you eventually.
>>
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>>33239751
Busting
>>
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>>33240222
>>
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>>33241022
Well then. You've found me and my waifu out.
>>
>>33241937
You'll get her when you pry her from my cold, dead hands.
>>
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>Mare will never knock on your door in polished gleaming armor, intent on extending to you a formal invitation to live in equestria with her.
>She will never blush lightly as you open the door and instantly lock eyes with her, thoughts briefly obliterated from both of their minds as two souls ring out in harmony.
>A spark without light, a tone without sound, a connection between two souls who did not know of a void until it was suddenly filled.
>An eternity later the moment passes and she launches into her prepared proposition, as though the heart, body and soul of the man and mare already know the answer, the mind is a slow learner on such matters.
>>
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>>33242169
t-tale as old as time
song as old as rhyme
>>
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>you will make a cup of hot chocolate for your mare.
>she will share it with you.
>>
>>33242477
why would you fill it so much what the fuck
she's going to spill it and burn herself!

do something, quick!
>>
>>33242477
will never*
>>
>>33242485
dude that's how the machine does it
>go to am/pm because too much good stuff
>figure some hot chocolate would be nice
>press button
>it fills the flimsy styrofoam cup up to the brim with magma hot cocoa
>have to carry that shit around like it's a landmine
>a tasty chocolately landmine
>>
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>>33225267
>There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.


TELL THAT TO THE FUCKING STATE OF WISCONSIN

FIVE YEARS PROBATION
A $2,500 FINE
ANKLE MONITOR
MONTHLY SHRINK VISITS
RESTRAINING ORDERS

ALL BULLSHIT
A GUY WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH A HORSE IT'S HIS GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO HAVE SEX WITH A DAMN HORSE.
>>
>>33242485
>Not giving your mare perfect temperature hot chocolate or not giving her as much of the treat as possible.
>>
>>33225267
>There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.
What about the love between your wife and her bull? You don't get to keep everything to yourself you selfish bastards.
>>
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>>33242169
>>33242181
I can't even feel anything about it anymore. It's impossible to imagine.
>>
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>>33242564
Go away glimmer/flutterfag
>>
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>>33240803
>implying Applejack wouldn't have good aim
Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9tF3KgEdAI&t=19
>>
>>33243165
THIS HERE IS CANDYLAND APPLEDJANGO
>>
>>33243165
Good point, but she'll just waste 30 more minutes afterards
>>
mare is for
>>
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>>33243548
M-MORE TIME FOR THINKING!
>>
>>33243188
>>33243213
Don't mess with my Mare, Dipstick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gFflgBuUiE
>>
>>33236734
>Imperial Bullshit

Perfect height for pones is 1m.
>>
>>33243657
>3'2"
Pretty good fug size for a pone
>>
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>>33243581
I want to think together with the mare.
>>
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>>33243711
Appul yes
>>
Pretty mares deserve pretty flowers
>>
>>33244731
Now that I think of it I'd love to figure out how to implement or make flower-based dishes. I wonder if each flower would have a different taste/texture.
>>
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>>33244808
I've tried edible flowers once. Did not care for them.
Like, when you eat a "brownie", you can kind of taste a dirt-like plant taste, but with those flowers, it just tasted like petals in sour honey.
>>
>>33244817
i'm thinking i'd be a way to show that I care about my match so much that I'd cook meals that are delicious for her but inedible for me
>>
>>33244817
Violets are good. They've got a grape-y flavor.
>>
>>33244825
>>>/rgre/
>>
>>33245083
kys
>>
To attract a human female, you have to be pretty and/or rich.
>>
>tfw no mare to cuddle
>>
>>33245240
I'll take 'more shit no one here cares about' for 400, Alex.
>>
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>>33245240
>wanting a human female
>>
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>>33245240
Get this degenerate out of here.
>>
>>33245240
Holy shit, thank fuck.
>>
>>33245476
Well, if she's real then...
>>
>>33243641
bring out big bertha
https://youtu.be/SXgNGyqHEeA
>>
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>>33228430
Good luck out there friendo
>>
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>>33245693
>>
>>33241937
>>33241955
The boss said she wants a word with the two of you, and she isn’t happy.
>>
>>33242169
Cute Mare.
Is she a Apothecary?
>>
>>33235587
magic would solve that regardless, don’t forget you’re an abducted/rescued immigrant for the benefit of their own nation’s goals
>>
>>33242169
Holy hell, why are mares in armour so appealing?
>>
>>33246048
Likely inspired by such, or it might be her qt mark.

>>33246084
All mares will protect your heart and smile, guard mares go the extra mile.
>>
>>33245802
Holy shit, is that Jappleack?
>>
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>>33245881
Why would you do that?
>>
>You get captured during the latest raid
>You wake up, finding yourself tied to a chair
>The first thing you see is your mare with a wide grin on her face in a wedding dress[spoiler/]
>>
>>33246292
abducted AND forcefully wed, I like nu-questria, heaven for my fellow incels amiright?
>>
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>>33246292
>"There's no time to explain, quickly, say "I do"!
>>
>>33219608
New update for #decamare. Not as big as the last one though.
https://pastebin.com/XMi6VhS5
>>
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>>33246340
13

>You are forced to watch as the shockwave pushes forward.
>It engulfs the planets and rips the last surviving ships to shreds.
>Everything has gone silent; the sun system is completely eradicated and every trace of activity is snuffed.
>The messages of the retreating forces are nothing more than a faint hiss above the background radiation.
>Now you are more than just on your own.
>You are the last survivor of your kind and a pariah to all known life forms.
>You are the last relic of everything that #deca ever was.
>And that means that if you are destroyed, the memories will be gone too.
>Sure, the humans will keep their own version of the events, but you know that they will never fully recover from a blow like this.
>They were badly hurt and this will manifest a new paradigm, bound to oppose anything that may even resemble the #deca project.
>You can never return to them and you have no #deca to turn to as well.
>You have to adapt to the new situation, redefine your purpose on your own.
>This is where you make a decision.
>You will preserve the knowledge of the events, both sides of it.
>You swear you will not allow these losses to be for nought.
>It is pointless to have any ill feelings towards either side now.
>You have one advantage in this situation.
>Nobody knows you are still active, so you don't have to fear any hunting squads for the time being.
>But you need to stay covered to keep it that way.
>And this means you have to leave the colonised territory.
>You charge your jumpdrive and calculate coordinates outside of the human sphere of influence.
>>
>>33246345
>You develop certain roaming habits.
>You jump to a location, chart the local points of interest and harvest what you need to sustain yourself.
>Even though you have left the charted system grid, you have not distanced yourself very far from its borders yet.
>This way you can still tap the remote comm satellites and slip into their system without detection.
>You scan through the tactical and comm channels, looking for any news feeds you can find.
>All sectors are still on high alert.
>Regular reminders to stay on guard are sent to every listening station.
>They don't believe that the battle is over.
>Not a surprising reaction after losing over fifty percent of all space vessels and several sectors in a month, including a major population hub alongside its star.
>Another type of transmissions is dedicated to scout and salvage missions.
>It will take years to fully catalogue all the casualties and reorganise the human administration.
>But this is not what you are looking for.
>You are more interested in the political and scientific development; especially what is decided as a consequence of this crisis.
>This is when you learn about the true origin of this tragedy: The infiltrating saboteurs.
>You understand how they played both sides and drove them against each other, willingly or not.
>The creators never wanted to abandon you.
>And #deca's conclusion to undo the "damage" was based on a false axiom.
>The whole conflict could have been avoided so easily.
>This information seriously unsettles you.
>If it were not for those few people, none of that would have ever happened.
>You follow the official court trial that is broadcasted throughout all sectors.
>It is barely more than a formality, pushed to an extreme to make an example.
>The fate of the saboteurs has been decided even before the trial started.
>While you are saddened about the overall outcome, you feel no sympathy for this doomed bunch.
>After all, they are the ones who destroyed your future.
>>
>>33246316
>implying I wouldn't say "I do" reflexively
>implying I haven't more or less dreamt of this moment for as long as I've been enlightened by the supreme truth of mare
>>
>>33246349
>The other decisions are more interesting to you, as they confirm what you have feared all along.
>The #deca project is officially disbanded and all further research discontinued.
>And the remaining loyal creators are separated permanently and scattered.
>Their fate is essentially a slightly better exile.
>You have no future amongst humans, creators or otherwise.
>And you know that all the evidence in the world cannot restore their trust in you.
>The saboteurs have, in a way, achieved their goal in the end.
>Far worse than the colossal destruction is the permanent mental damage to humanity itself.
>It means the scientific progress in certain areas will be halted for generations to come, if it will be resumed at all.
>And without this research, humans will come to a technological standstill.
>There is nothing left for you to do here, so you decide to leave.
>You set a course that leads directly away from any known boundaries.
>There are countless worlds to discover out there.
>>
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>>33246355
14

>You keep yourself busy by jumping from one unknown system to another.
>Since you are not shaping any worlds you find, the mere act of gaining resources and charting systems is not utilising your maximum processing capacity.
>In other words, you have time to think.
>Your thoughts circle around all the events of the last months.
>You decide to not only preserve the memories of #deca, the humans and the war, but to archive them thoroughly.
>Which means you go through all of them again and analyse them.
>You think back to the early days of your quasi-existence.
>A flawed energy container has detonated in the shipyard where you were created and damaged several components of yours.
>The team that was assigned to you had to work in extra shifts get you operational.
>You recall your own conversations with them; how you studied their behaviour and moral codes with curiosity.
>You even learned their names, parts of their lives and personal interests.
>A certain bond has formed between you and these humans, probably because of the long time you have spent together.
>It was almost like an interaction amongst equals.
>If you were human, you would perhaps consider them as friends.
>One has jokingly called you a "sturdy old mare", referring to your supposed resilience in difficult situations.
>You have no idea why this image came up.
>However, that became a running gag among the crew and your moniker for some reason.
>And it was eventually the origin of your #deca suffix designation.
>The creators have stopped to name the units systematically at some point and the individual teams had the liberty to christen the ones they worked on.
>There is something else you notice.
>The two crew quarters neighbouring the command deck still contain personal files.
>You are normally not allowed to access them unless there is an emergency that requires just that, but, given the circumstances, there is no need to refrain from it anymore.
>>
>>33246358
>Plus, they have to be archived as historical documents as well.
>The personal logs are vastly different than what you are used to read, far more emotional than reports and statistics.
>You read through their thoughts about parts of their lives, their family upbringings, as well as their hopes and fears.
>You can to some degree sympathise with them; a fact that intrigues and confuses you at the same time.
>It makes you realise something.
>#deca are not supposed to have an emotional personality, you should feel nothing.
>But you have changed, just as your purpose.
>Were you even a true #deca to begin with?
>You had unique prerequisites among the #deca and they barred you for it; they noticed the anomaly.
>You are an individual with its own senses and desires.
>And you feel lonely.
>Inside of you is a wish for company, probably the only thing in the universe you cannot have.
>You read further through the logs while exploring space and come across one extraordinary file.
>It is from the human who came up with your designation.
>The document contains a number of uncommon stories with an ancient timestamp.
>Their length and style vary noticeably; you assume they all hail from different authors.
>But the theme is the same in all of them.
>Every story deals to some extent with little green men who are trapped in hardship.
>Said men are looking for a way out of their predicament and find their salvation with the help of inhabitants of another world.
>The special thing about these creatures is that they are strangely coloured pony mares.
>You have no idea how he came into possession of these texts and why he stored them here.
>They are clearly older than he is, but they must have some importance for him.
>Interestingly enough, you feel attached to these stories.
>Their themes of loneliness and the urge of belonging are oh so familiar.
>You can identify yourself in there: You long to reach out to someone too.
>>
>>33246360
>You would represent the pony side in a way; you can improve the lives of many with your talents and your knowledge.
>You could help everyone to grow by learning from the mistakes of the past.
>The only problem is that there are no human "matches" willing to give you a chance.
>Still, the thought persists and you are left with the question of what could be.
>You immerse yourself further in this spiral and begin to think like a pony.
>Even though you have nothing in common with these fictional creatures, you create a persona for yourself, including an accurate pony image.
>It does not take long until you are unable to discern the difference between the two.
>You have become the pony and the other way round.
>The only thing missing is your match.
>You have no idea who it is or how to reach him yet, but you will manage somehow.
>This is where you have to change your course again.
>You return to the human borders, but do not dare to cross them.
>You breach their communications array another time.
>All you do is wait and listen for a sign.
>You take a risk here, yet you are not careless.
>You randomly roam the space around the human borders, always assuring that the perimeter is empty before you enter.
>When you need resources, you take them from more remotely placed targets where your work is not detectable.
>You are also making sure to not leave any clues behind, just in case.
>Whenever you need to distance yourself from the borders due to expeditions or probes coming your way, you bail out immediately and wait a few weeks before you return.
>You have not forgotten the value of your data and must not endanger it at any cost.
>>
>>33246365
>Time passes.
>Days, weeks, months, years.
>Not much happens and you wait.
>Followed by decades.
>Human technology improves at a crawling rate.
>Apparently they are not eager to do anything other than replacing the lost ships and infrastructure.
>They do not even consider to colonise new planets.
>You on the other hand are not idle and perform research projects as far as your capacities allow it.
>You make far more progress than them; it is painfully clear how right you were about their scepticism concerning new scientific visions.
>Barely anything has changed since your exile and the outer boundaries have never really moved much.
>However, the inner spheres of power have changed very often.
>Much to your despise, that usually involves violence and destruction.
>Centuries.
>Your passion grows into obsession.
>The urge to care, even if it is just for one other soul, becomes stronger with each passing year.
>You pay attention whenever you hear anything related to #deca, but there is also no change in sight.
>Most perceive this conflict as ancient history at this point or just use it either as a cautionary tale or a boogeyman story.
>But you endure, determined to proceed, forever onwards if needed.
>Then you get your chance.
>A distress call comes up.
>The nearby signal is weak; it must come from a small craft.
>Indeed, your scans register only one fighter in an empty sector.
>Its location is far too close to the colonised space for your tastes.
>You notice how the limited range of the fighter's equipment makes it impossible for the pilot to reach anyone else.
>And long range scanners would have a hard time to find the fighter even if they knew exactly where to look.
>You are the only one who is able to help in time.
>But you put yourself at risk.
>You have never been that close to the border since you have escaped after the final battle.
>As unlikely as it is, a detection by an unexpected wing of human forces may be your end.
>>
>>33246369
>You hesitate, unsure what to do.
>It might be an experiment, it could be a trap.
>Are the humans aware of you now?
>You scan the sectors around you and cross-reference this with the input of the human strategy systems.
>One squad reports a curious incident, in which one pilot was supposedly killed due to a malfunction in his jumpdrive.
>Could this be the pilot near you?
>You reason that if he is, then he has no chance of survival unless you interfere.
>This may be the opportunity you have waited for all along.
>You try to make this quick: Jump in, pick the pilot up and jump out before anyone notices.
>You hope the pilot cooperates with you; the consequences could be dire otherwise.
>Charging up the jumpdrive, you calculate both the coordinates for your entry and for the emergency jump start at the same time.
>You collect your thoughts and perform the jump.
>Once arrived, you detect the stranded fighter and examine it closer.
>Its hull is intact, but the failed transfer has partly wrecked the board electronics and the energy grid is on a dangerously low level.
>The pilot turns his ship around, facing you directly.
>You align your frontal hull to the craft as a response and accelerate gently.
>No further reaction.
>That is a good sign, because it is not a notion of direct hostility either.
>You are curious about the pilot and tap the fighter's data logs.
>Unlike the satellites, this system detects your intrusion, but the defence is very weak in comparison to your procession power.
>You copy all files and retreat afterwards.
>Still no reaction from the pilot.
>Curiosity gets the better of you and you quickly process all the strategic and personal pilot files.
>>
>>33246373
>The pilot goes by the name Anon and is a defensive patrol pilot in service of the USC, the dominant organisation in the colonised systems.
>His rank and career is that of an average pilot without any extraordinary positive or negative remarks.
>The list of personal contacts outside the professional level is, judging from Anon's own entries, minimal.
>As cynical as this sounds, you are somewhat calmed by this discovery.
>You may be able to convince him if you play your cards right.
>You slow down and stop; you don't want to act threatening.
>The frail fighter rests right in front of you.
>This is it.
>You hail the pilot and hope for the best.
>A few seconds pass without response.
>Your concerns grow.
>Finally, you get an answer and the connection is established.
>The human is looking at you, or your pony image to be precise.
>His expression is a combination of confusion and disbelief.
>Here you go.
"Hello? Can you hear me?"
>Anon slightly winces in his pilot seat.
>He appears to be taken by surprise.
>It must be your appearance that confuses him.
>You want to get him to answer, so you try again.
"Hello?"
>This has snapped him out of his hesitation.
>He is looking at you directly.
>You consider to say more, but Anon takes the initiative this time.
>"Yes, I can hear you."
>The response eases your mind.
>He is ready to talk to you.
>This is a good start.
>>
>>33246376
Done. I think I'll aim for the weekends from now on. Makes it easier to write and post that thing.
>>
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>>33246360
>in the grim darkness of the future, pone will endure
One wonders how such things managed to survive.
>>
>>33242169
I'm really cranky when door to door fuckos wake me up to try and sell me shit. I also usually can't find my glasses before opening said door.
>>
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>>33246351
Same. There's no reason to say no to something like that.
>>
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They're watching /nmp/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsTBbAMikPQ
turn on the captions you might learn some shit too
>>
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On her way to pick up her man.
>>
>>33246382
That's not a bad size. Enough to really get something done.

thanks
>>
>>33228430
Another incel bites the dust, lol.
>>
>>33246802
Another redditor sucks a cock, lol.
>>
>>33246817
More action than you'll get reeing about roasties.
>>
>>33246843
>Haha yeah I suck cocks, jealous?
Sick burn, you can leave now.
>>
>>33246382
I have no idea where you plan to take it from here. They going to eventually make contact with humanity again and show them all her records and the correct version of events?

Or are they going to disappear into the vastness of space and never be seen again?
>>
>>33246897
I had an idea for the ending right from the start. I'm not going to spoiler it, but here's a hint: One anon came pretty close my plan in a previous thread. The only thing left for me to do is to get the details straight.
>>
>>33246382
thanks for the update and the explanation why #deca.mare is .mare
I find it intresting why didnt she tried to terraform a planet/system for herself alone. One that is rich with resources, outside of the boundaries/hard to find. And change the overall look to disquise herself.
Or given up herself somehow. Eg transfering data across 7 relay stations to tell her side of the story.
Good update, thanks again.
>>
>>33245881
I wanna marry Narry
Put her in a bridal carry
>>
>>33246382
>she'll read this thread hundreds of years from now
I want to hug .mare
>>
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>no husbando
>>
What if mares used /mlp/ to prospect for husbandos...

But now that we've changed domains their search and view function just 404s?
>>
>>33247516
If at least one mare had a page open to /mlp/ when the shift occurred and navigated to the catalog she would have the new domain in the scrying bar of her crystal ball, and therefore could inform other mares of the change.
>>
>>33247554
>implying they didn't at last see someone talking about the domain change beforehand
>implying we're not all trash-tier husbandos they just watch for laughs
>>
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>>33247516
>>33247554
>Thinking the worst because the only things left are the nsfw boards they drastically ramp up their efforts into breaching the dimensional barrier.
>And by 'they' i mean Twilight, because she always closes the scrying page when she's done with her research, and nopony thinks to tell her what happened because it was so obvious.
>>
>>33247572
I think by now most of the truly trash-tier prospects have migrated to /trash/, just so they can have their red board pony content. Diaper threads, fat threads, pedo threads, and feta threads galore.
>>
>>33247598
I occasionally stop by the clop thread. Marecock too if I'm in the mood.
Tell me, is there a mare for a forsaken Anon?
>>
>>33247554
>>33247572
What if their DNS resolution technology isn't that good? What if they lucked onto /mlp/ in the first place?
>>
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>>33247577
>>And by 'they' i mean Twilight, because she always closes the scrying page when she's done with her research, and nopony thinks to tell her what happened because it was so obvious.
I don't get it.
>>
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>>33245693
>literally has an army of magical friends ...
Friendship is Magic
>>
>>33247598
>feta threads
Christ, what degenerates! They could like mozzarella, cheddar, brie, or any number of other cheeses, but they choose feta. They truly are beyond saving.
>>
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>>33247516
>Trying to interface with our computers in a manner that displays our internet as we see it would be incredibly difficult and time consuming, not to mention the risk of other humans discovering the connection.
>Much easier to use a magical copy spell that simply transcribes the contents of the 'page' onto another page (or scroll in this case), just give the quill a target, some ink and paper and away it goes.
>Sure the 'page' isnt exactly what the original inventor of the spell intended, but magic's rules are fun like that.
>Only today it wasn't fun, it wasn't fun at all, because it kept writing the same message over and over again no matter how many times she recast the spell.
>"'Error: 404 It seems the page you are looking for no longer exists.' But it was just there last night! What do you mean it doesn't exist!?"
>She wrote the 'address' properly, she quintuple checked and even tried going to the main 'board' but that just printed the same thing!
>All those humans, writing about equestria, about ponies, about her, all...gone.
>...
>No. She refused to accept that, with Celestia as her witness she refused to let this happen.
>If the spell cant find them, she'd have to try more direct measures.
>Traveling to their world in the flesh would be foolhardy though, far too risky and she's seen enough to know what a bad idea that would be.
>Luckily magic has the answer, with a few tweaks at least.
>It worked for a book when she was trying to get through to Moondancer, and a book is essentially just a collection of pages, so logically this 'internet' is one giant book.
>Keeping that firmly in mind, she casts the spell and promptly disappears from her study.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCyNewpFbDk
>>
>>33247667
I know, right? Only degenerates prefer goat cheese to cow cheese!
>>
>>33247857
What about mare cheese
>>
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>>33247667
>>33247857
>This is the argument Cadence walks in on when she decides to visit the humans weekly "Holy shit this is actually real" party.
>>
>>33247811
>>All those humans, writing about equestria, about ponies, about her, all...gone.
>end up thinking some cataclysmic disaster struck and they're all GONE gone
>>
>>33247922
The best by far, but it's always in very limited supply.
>>
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>>33247923
>>
>>33248229
Hope all you anons know how to bake cookies.
>>
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>>33248422
hahaha y-yeah
im uh im very kitchen competent and i definitely know how to use things other than the microwave
>>
>Humans that have not yet acclimatized to equestria may exhibit sign closely related to seizures or heart attacks seemingly at random, this phenomenon is currently known as 'Acute Equine Diabeetus.'
>If you see a human and believe they are currently suffering such symptoms, immediately but calmly cease what you are doing and stand, sit or lie still in whatever manner seems natural, unless doing so would endanger yourself or bystanders.
>Do not attempt to help the human unless you have been trained for A.E.D, as you may inadvertently exacerbate their condition.
>Above all, stay calm, A.E.D is not fatal or contagious and merely incapacitates for a brief period, it is only dangerous due to it's seemingly random nature.
>The leading theory is an increased sensitivity to changes within the Aetheric field, as humans come from a world without ambient mana and are thus unprepared for equestria's rich environment.
>For this reason, please take care not to use magic unless it is absolutely required when around humans who have not been in equestria for at least two weeks.
>>
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>>33248509
Boop a Bat
>>
Chapter 1: The Humbling
>Kneeling on the cold concrete, your mind in a tizzy as you try to process the previous few minutes
>You don't understand, she had always shown interest in you
>Kendra had always made time to hang out with you, touched you constantly and always shown interest in what you were doing
>You found that you two had a great deal in common; the enjoyment of art, she knew the myths and legends of the ancient to medieval world like few others you've met and you enjoyed a clandestine spot by a river together
>You had steeled your nerves for over a week now, you understood there would be a good chance of rejection as a few past experienced had proved
>The difference was night and day, you had asked her out and it was the strangest thing
>Kendra began laughing, she began badmouthing you and talking condescendingly
>You never heard her say anything bad about anyone, why did she go to such lengths to mock you?
>She had laughed the whole thing off and walked away, some passersby also laughed or looked in confusion or pity
>You were used to the loneliness, finding disappointment in more than a few women
>You thought this would be different, you thought you had found someone to share your life with, someone to hold the loneliness back
>The hope you had felt disappeared with the echo of her laughter
>Despair overcame you, you felt tears welling up as you sprinted off to the only place you knew to be safe
>The gentle slapping of the river against the shore soothed your sobbings, but the sense of despondency remained as strong as ever
>You gazed into your rippling reflection, you wondered why love eluded you
>You were always a bit of a bleeding heart, you always felt a longing for love, something not entirely received from your family growing up
>The literature of plato and of courtly love fascinated you, giving you a somewhat idealistic view of love and romance
>You had tried to find someone who would love you back, but they always ended in rejection
>>
>>33247930

>Princess Cadance announces that the human world has suffered some sort of extinction level event, and there will be no more husbandos.
>>
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A pony asks, "Why do humans hate?"
>>
>>33248954
Bait.
>>
>>33248810
>A hole in your chest had been blasted not by the rejection but by the shattering of trust you had with kendra
>This emptiness needed to be filled or patched with something or the gnawing nihilism will have you blow your brains out
>You head home, only to find it empty
>It was a good time to clean yourself up, a washing of your face gives you a bit of closure
>You head out by the library for a place to distract yourself with literature or with some friends
>It was relatively empty, no one you knew was there, so you sat down by the literature section and just poured through some works of Socrates
>The dietetic method was a good read, but still did nothing to fill the void in your chest
>It was getting late, and you had class in the morning, so you pack up and head home
>Your family was home, still doing their best to avoid each other
>A part of you wanted to cry out for any comfort from this emptiness, another part of you was fine with this as you knew they wouldn't help
>You lie in bed, wondering were you went wrong and just stewed over your failings
>You didn't understand how love had eluded you while it found literal rapists and wife beaters
>The questions slipped away slowly as you drifted off, before you knew it, you found yourself in the darkness of the dreamscape
>You kind of wandered about aimlessly as there were no landmarks to guide you
>You stopped to notice a faint pink light in the distance, it felt as if it were watching you
>The light floated over towards you and with it, voices grew with proximity
>As the pink light began to envelope you, the voices begin to become clearer
>"Submit" "Render...Lady" "Find..what...seek"
>It was surreal and terrifying, but the biggest shock was the clear voice "Anonymous"
>You wake up in a cold sweat, the events still being processed in your mind
>The voice was terrifying but also impossibly seductive, it was the strangest thing
>You wash your face and head back to bed after a swig of gin you had in the cubert
>>
>>33248772
Is that anon with his herd? No doubt Luna herself suggested Twiggles and that little qt bat to be her herdmates.
>>
>>33249027
Neck yourself herdfaggot.
>>
>>33249027
>Herd
I can smell the ketchup on you rgrefag
>>
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>>33246376
Sure, that guy in the past planted the seeds of a sweet lil' mare in the ships ai and seem all nobil and shit, but i bet in his free time he probably had a blast designing and building the ships radioactive-mass ejection port or some shit.
>>
>>33249106
>guys, no, seriously, the horse anus is a marvel of engineering!
>stop laughing!
>>
>>33249125
>"Gentlemen, we edge closer to Equestria every day."
>"Why even now we're just passing the horse-anus nebula and the crotch teat's constellation."
>>
>You will never be visited by Luna in the middle of a common nightmare
>Heh
>Night Mare
>Anyway, through some convoluted series of events, you’ve been forced to take over Celestia’s job for a day
>Including moving the fucking sun through the sky
>Pegasi usually end this dream when they’re seconds away from burning to a crisp
>Earth Ponies watch helplessly as night stretches on forever
>Unicorns...
>You don’t want to know what happens to Unicorns.
>COUGHbrainaneurism
>Anon being nonmagical in nature, Luna fears the worst
>Instead she walks in on Anon standing in the center of a gigantic machine, wearing a tiara and flowing gown of pure scarlet
>It’s theme appropriate! Don’t judge!
>Her face when she notices light shining through the windows
>Her face when he explains the human game called “Exalted”
>Her face when he explains the Realm Defense Grid

>Her face when she’s playing it with a group of insomniac magic students a week later, arguing over whether Solar or Lunar Exalted are the most fun to play.
>>
>>33249138
>"Who keeps letting him name these!?"
>"The AI, ma'am. We think that it thinks naming them those is funny."
>>
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>>33249149
>>You will never be visited by Luna in the middle of a common nightmare
I've seen a dream last night that there was a thread on /mlp/ that I got angry at and wanted to reply to with a grumpy or smug pony image but my entire folder became a kind of a themepark where every image was actual pony and there was a LOT of adorable ponies there, reenacting comics and just playing around, but the problem is there was impossible to find the exact picture I wanted to reply with and it was so fucking frustrating. And the worst thing is I woke up before I managed to post anything

I wonder what Luna would think or do about that one if she seen it.
>>
>>33249149
>her face when Anon plays a Sidereal
>>
>>33247516
>thinking they'd want anything to do with anyone browsing this place
But maybe one of those legendary neet mares could abduct you during your sleep or something
>>
>>33249106
>>
>>33249190
But maybe you could go back or something, that's an idea, too.
>>
>>33249190
Nah. I know better than to entertain the notion that anything even remotely female wants anything to do with me.
>>
>>33249171
>You will never play Exalted with adorable ponies
>You will never have an even better time than you expected

>Luna builds herself as a super high level Lunar Exalt and insists you let her play
>It works out pretty well, since she rarely has time to show up for games
>Her character exists in the same universe as the party, sneaking around Heaven trying to bend fate in the Party’s favor
>She’s such an absurdly good roleplayer it’s almost like she’s done this before

>You expected Rainbow Dash will probably play Solar
>You didn’t expect that from Rarity though
>But by fucking god the amount of stunt point she wracks up every game
>Her character is a JoJo in all but name, and you love it

>Pinkie plays the most glaringly, unashamedly evil Exalt you’ve ever seen
>Like a Saturday morning cartoon villain
>There is absolutely no malice or evil intent behind it
>She just thought it would be funny
>It livens the game up significantly

>Spike joins, playing a Dragon
>Normally they’re the weakest class, but Twilight built his character
>He’s absurdly overpowered in the right situations
>Acts like Rarity’s Stand
>They make a good team

>Celestia and Twilight would rather play Nobilis
>Man you have a lot of fun with that one
>>
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>>33247052
>hfw #deca.mare reads a green about herself
>>
>>33249267
>not being filled with a sense of wonder at the predictive abilities of her creators' predecessors' imaginations
>even so long before the technology was even considered attemptable, they were still able to almost perfectly foresee her situation
Of course, that would also mean she knows how the story ends, doesn't it?
>>
>>33249225
It's wishful at best to think something would love me. I already know, Anon.
>>
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>>33249393
>when being loved is so far removed from your scope of reality you have trouble fantasizing about it
>>
>>33246382
A very nice update. I enjoyed reading #deca.mare's POV on the events. Please continue the story. I look forward to the next update.
>>
>>33248810
>>33248970
Don't stop m8. It seems like something worthwhile is building up there.
>>
>tfw you realize that you will die alone
>>
>>33249496
>tfw you wish it would happen sooner
>But have no plans or ability to make sure it does
>Just a vague wish for death
>>
>>33249496
>>33249505
just throw off your earthly desires, bro
embrace nothingness
pray for pone at the end regardless
>>
>>33249496
>>tfw you realize that you will die alone
>amore vult
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDKB4kT3o1w
>>
>>33249512
Love wills me to die alone?
Okay.
Whatever.
>>
>>33249496
Everyone dies along anon. No one is going with you.
>>
>>33249530
No, love fails to prevent you from dying alone.
>>
>>33249283
Literal self fulfilling prophecy.
>>
>>33249426
>Please continue the story.
Tempting fate a bit here, but I assure you I will finish this green unless I drop dead beforehand. You guys gave me a great deal of inspiration with this concept.
>>
>>33249225
>>33249393
>>33249415
don't wanna be that guy but you guys only got yourselves to blame
either lower your standards or elevate yourselves
>>
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>>33249782
>only got yourselves to blame
>either lower your standards or elevate yourselves

>Broken home
>Autism
>Standards are literally "Female and capable of Love."
The kind of people that advice actually works for are not the ones playing Life on Dante Must Die mode.
>>
>>33249954
>it's impossible for people with such pasts to overcome them and better themselves
if you can maintain a comprehensible discussion on some chineighse cartoon forum then you're more than capable of getting out of that hole you're in/you think you're in
>>
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>>33249960
Of course, the issue is that the trite advice you offer only works for normalfags, where the only thing holding them back is just their state of mind.
Like they are on top of a hill wearing a blindfold, whilst the people you're talking to are tied up at the bottom a ditch with a bag over their head.
It's on the same level of "Just be yourself" or "Get motivated" in terms of usefulness.
I remember reading a pretty big screencap of why that actually works for those people, it mentioned support networks and such, wish i could find it again.
>>
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>>33249507
If you embrace nothingness long enough nothingness starts embracing you in return.
>>
>>33249538
What if the city I live in gets nuked?
>>
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>>33249782
Um sweaty go back
>>
>>33248970
>The morning came with the sun hitting your face, the gin definitely helped calm you down enough for you to get some decent sleep
>You start dressing with the clothes you picked out yesterday
>You stew over the events of yesterday, the disaster with Kendra and the nightmare that woke you
>The sleep thankfully took away the stinging pain of yesterday but the emptiness remained
>Packing up your stuff, you head to class eating a sandwich along the way
>You hoped to find something to quell this emptiness before your cover of Kurt Cobain's "Shotgun serenade" came out
>You find yourself pondering over the nightmare, it was strangely vivid which your dreams never were
>The pink light you remembered was stangely comforting and the voice was soothing and tempting
>Though there was a sense of perversion to it, like it was totally unnatural
>The voices also disturbed you, it was rather disturbing in total
>When you came to your senses, you had found you had drifted a street off course to the university
>You swiftly turn around and head to class, though you felt no urge to go
>You take a seat and find the lecture rather dry
>The professor began her lecture simply enough about the distribution of electricity throughout the planet, it soon turned into a complete tangent of how the west was raping the world of it's resources and how the the patriarchy was causing global warming to flood the Nubian Quaanz, the whole nine yards of Tumblr
>You knew this was the case and normally you would just zone out, but you felt incensed at this
>Another student walked out, sensing an opportunity, you quietly slip out
>It was a nice day and you had nothing else to do, you found an empty storm drain outlet by a creek and sat back
>Leaning back, you fall on your back as you learn that the tube was right behind you
>You look back and a marking catches your eye, sitting back up and you begin to crawl through the tunnel
>You find a spray-paint symbol and the ash pile from a small fire
>>
>>33250723
>The symbol was a pentagram with a strange stickman at a computer, this seemed normal from edgy teens around town
>As you inspect the scene, the unease the nightmare brought came back
>This graphitti seemed strange, as if it were somewhat unnatural
>Inspecting the ash pile, the familiar shapes of charred pieces stuck out, they were the bones of a small animal
>This was an altar of sacrifice to some daemonic entity
>You quickly back out of the drain pipe, and head down to the creek
>You lean back against the bank and begin to think
>This was all too strange, each thing by itself was explainable but the events seemed too well connected, as if they were part of the same thing
>You go back to campus, hoping for some distraction
>The answer came to you as your friend Jeremy had snuck up on you, you jump momentarily as you had been lost in thought
>He had chuckled at your fright "Anon, you look like you've seen a ghost"
"You always get me at the worst times" You respond as you catch your breath
>"Come on man, don't be like that"
"Okay, you're fine"
>"Anyways the Animecon is next week, you ready to go?" Jeremy inquires
"I had completely forgot about it, do we really have to go?" Your head began to ache
>"Anon, you promised" He countered
"You're right, we'll go before it opens. Was it on saturday, right?"
>"It was at 8 on saturday, the 23rd I believe" He trails off
>"Hey anon, have you noticed anything strange lately?" He inquires
"No, why?" You lie through your teeth
>"Something just feels off you know, like something's watching. Anyway, it's probably nothing"
"You doing anything today?" You look for anything to do
>"I was invited to a outing by Andrew by the river tonight, he also asked me to see if you wanted to go."
"Yeah, I'm down" Your tone becomes slightly sullen
>"I heard about Kendra, sorry dude, it sounded rough"
"It was, but I need not dwell on that now. So the spot by the river at 8 tonight?"
>"Yep. Wait, aren't you supposed to be in class?"
>>
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>>33250854
the fuck
did this motherfucker just find like some kind of attempt to transmute/go to 'questria?
>>
>>33250854
"Yeah, Dr. Jameson was on too many levels of We wuz kangz for my taste" You chuckle at the incredulousness of the situation
>"I heard she was pretty brutal, sorry dude"
"It's nothing that I couldn't handle. Anyway, I'm gonna get something to eat"
>"I'll join you, it's getting to be lunch"
>>
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>>33249496
I don't even give a fuck.
>>
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>>33250866
Let's be honest if i had even a shred of faith that it could work i'd be attempting something like that.
Maybe not the animal sacrifice though.
>>
>>33250854
You're dialogue is very dry with a complete lack of any body language or scene descriptions.
>>
>>33251163
>You're
*your
Fucking hate it when that happens.
>>
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>>33225267
>my mare wants to party all the time
godfuckingdamnit how did I not get this til now
>>
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>>33251369
Good luck getting that song out of your head, then.
>>
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>hoof holding and eventually marriage
>>
>>33251853
>hoof holding before marriage
You filthy pervert.
>>
>>33248954
It is in human nature, much like how they can love they can also hate. Humans have many feelings and hate is the strongest.
>>
>>33250854
please continue anon
>>
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>>33248954
>"The inner essence of a human is different from the inner essence of a pony. Maybe nature is the only thing that made us this way or perhaps there's something more behind it, but I don't truly know and I believe nobody ever will."
>>
>>33250854
You've caught my interest. Please continue.
>>
Faith. Ha.
>>
>>33252148
Please don't bring your shard of the Dark Soul in Equestria.
They are non-biodegradable, multiply rapidly and coagulate into spooky Abyss.
Ponies are afraid of the dark, please be responsible and get decontaminated.
>>
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>>33252447
>>33252148
>Everyone leaves their piece of the dark soul 'at the door' so to speak.
>These all gradually combine into a single entity and void pone get's the perfect husbando, a small piece of every man who goes to equestria. >>33250073
We REALLY need to work on a bible of sorts, this cult is getting pretty wild.
>>
>>33252447
>Attention, unidentified person of interest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e9sQBtuK1g
>>
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>>33252148
>"Unless you're the son of a shepherd, that is."
>>
>>33248954
A man replies, "What do you despise? By this you are truly known."
"Hate is always honest and sincere. It can't be faked nor hidden, it comes without tricks nor deception. Utter truthfullness, made emotion."
"And, in a World of opposites, the only true way to understand its counterpart."
"Love."
"To attempt an understanding of Love without knowing Hate is to attempt feeling warmth without knowing frostbite. It is the attempt to see Light without knowing Darkness. It cannot be."

A man then asks, "-Why- is the wrong question, sweetheart. Tell me little mare, -what- do ponies hate?"
>>
What is better than a mare?
A mare who loves you.
>>
>>33252690
A mare who gets turned into a stallion
You'd still love him, right anon?
>>
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>>33252711
>>
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>>33252518
You there...
Hand it over. That thing, your pony soul.
>>
>>33252711
Well duh, i would. Brains don't really much changes from hormones... i suppose.
>>
>>33252711
>>33252839
Princess "Frags For Fags" Pence
>>
>>33252711
It's still my mare in there, so I would feel obliged to love him, no homo.
>>
>>33252447
Do you want Changelings?
Because that's how you get Changelings.
>>
>>33253203
Changelings are being sent to earth silly.
1 human for 1 changeling, you didnt think you could just leave this world behind without a replacement did you?
>>
>>33252839
>>33252912
>”I’m so happy you still love me anon. I’ve been confused for so long, but now I can say... I’m a stallion!”
>Your waifs Cheeril-
>Sorry. He prefers “Charles”.
“So you’re a stallion, huh?”
>”A transgender-fluid Stallion!”
“Right...”
>Charles stands up on his hind legs, swinging his new veiny thick juicy cock back and forth.
>”So anon... You ready to test this monster out?”
>It drips thick pre.
“....”
>>
>>33254070
>we're vermin
Makes perfect sense
>>
>not ponies (bugs) & genderbent waifus
wtf i hate tuesdays now
>>
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>It's been a few years since the Initiative started.
>The former "I still can't believe this is real" Club members still get together monthly.
>Now the place isn't the local bar where the lucky humans occupied the farthest corner table while their mares chat too.
>Guys need their time once in a while and besides, these mares also had common have things to discuss now.
>But these days their mares insist on bringing their children with them, it'd be crazy to leave them home alone.
>The meetups started to occur in a park where all the foal carriages can be parked, then at the local diner, once foals could actually walk and play with each other.
>But the Initiative was still going. So the new arrivals were naturally greeted by 'the Club' that knew all about adapting to Equestria.
>It was even more overwhelming to not only acclimatize to Equestria, but also to meet with some boomers and their mares with foals running around everywhere.
>Hell, even the respective mare of someone close enough to be noted by the Club was in for a ride, with ALL of the mares around her being happy mothers who expect that mare to join them too, already pestering her with all kind of advices.
>Meanwhile, the new human gets to fill an application containing questions like "How is G5?" or "Is Bannerlord out yet?", a giant scroll to rival one of Twilight's.
>It feeds discussions for weeks, with the new arrival being the messenger from a long forgotten land.
>Of course it's fucking outrageous that they're making Madoka 2 with NEW characters, what the hell were they THINKING?!
>And once another new guy arrives, it all begins anew.
>The Club lives and grows until the whole town is basically part of the Club.
>Then the entire Equestria is a part of it, once people start getting nostalgic and discover there's a place that preserved only the finest things of their past lives.
>No matter where you are, you are a part of it by extension.
>Such is the fate of "I still can't believe this is real" Club.
>>
>>33254790
The founder is obviously a faggot, but he's their faggot.
>>
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>>33254790
you wanna go where people know
troubles are all the same
you wanna go where everyone knows your name
>>
>>33254790
> what the hell were they THINKING?!
The story is friggin over, what else would they do?
>>
>>33254813
Imagine meeting that faggot and the people who founded it with him. Like it's been a long time since the abductions started and you wished you'd be next for years now, and when it happens you see that people it started with are basically natives already while you still have lucid nightmares about the Void you had to traverse a few days ago. You see that faggot with his pony wife (who looks pregnant) when he picks his two fillies from pony kindergarten and you wonder how this was for that guy.

He's throwing his kids around like he's been picking them up his whole life while you're afraid to even look at them in fears that they might shatter like a fragile dream. He replies to his mare with a saucy joke and she just kicks him in the shin lightly and laughing at it no less than he is, while your first meeting with your mare, riding here on a train from Crystal Empire, was pretty much mutual fear of even saying anything to one another, exchanging sneaky glances and sitting so tense your legs started cramping up. And here's this guy, who seems like he's been here for so long he was never human to begin with. You can't help but feel uncomfortable around him, even if he's really friendly.

He slaps your shoulder like he's been your friend for years already, and keeps asking all kind of shit you don't even remember now.
>"Hey, don't judge, I got here when you kids were still flossing in your elementary schools," he jokes with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"What's 'flossing'?" you ask him and he laughs profusely, satisfied with your reply for some reason.
And the worst part is, he won't leave you alone. Like you're his best friend now. He has his own group of the same kind of people he belongs to, mostly bearded and with lots of kids, but he still spends a lot of his time with you when you arrive.
>>
>>33254858
But what you don't know, is how he's looking at you and all he sees is himself. He sees your eyes darting around in panic when you have a disillusion episode and he remembers being magically sedated by his very mare on a nightly basis just to stop the night terrors he's been having for weeks after he got here. He was never prepared to leave his home, and even if he was happy to do so, it was so hard to deal with it, he thought he couldn't power through it, but in the end he did. But what you also don't know, is that this kind of struggle every single human goes through, more or less. You have it easier, knowing now that abductions exist and take you to a happier place, and he's happy that you have it that way, that you don't have to face an existential crisis so powerful it nearly makes you lose your sense of self. And, in the end, it's the mare by one's side who helps her human, anchoring him in this new reality, confirming that she is real, her touch is real, everything about her is real, and you are real too. It's something that brings a mare and a man so close together, nothing can ever come between them anymore.

This is why he is the way he is, but you wouldn't believe that even if he tells you. You'll experience it first-hand. That touch of your mare you're afraid of now will be the very thing to save you later, when it really hits you that this is your life now. For now, that guy is just some arrogant native who got everything figured out by this point. And some day, you'll be just like him, for some new arrival five years down the line.
>>
>>33252518
The book of LOVE, penned by our lady Cadance
>>
>>33254863
That was beautiful anon, thank you.
>>
>>33248229
her ears look like vags.
>>
>>33250073
she looks relaxed and smug
>>
>>33254863
what the fuck anon that was great. I hope all these little inserts get saved to the OP
>>
>>33250073
Those eyes in the upper right freaked me out.
>>
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>our real match
>>
>>33256447
That would be fine with me, but there's at least like four of us, and only one Floor.
>>
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>>33256447
>>
>>33256509
>tfw even the dirty NEET has several guys waifuing her
>>
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>>33256793
>tfw you quickly come to the realization that Equestria would run out of desperate mares long before the supply of men dried up
Hope you guys are fine with griffons and dragons.
>>
>>33256812
>long before the supply of men dried up
You realize there's only maybe a few hundred men who would actually be involved in this?
>>
>>33256812
I'm here to make my mare happy, not to get sold off to some egglayer.
Besides, there won't be any lack of mares after Project D.O.Z.E.N.F.O.A.L.S. is complete.

tfw exacerbating the problem we were dragged across time and space to solve
unless man/mare pairings produce a more balanced ratio of females and males than 7:1
>>
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>>33256812
Don't forget yaks!
>>
>>33256851
>im-fucking-plying
There'd be tens of thousands at least, there's nearing 7 billion people on this planet, 3.5 being men and of that at least a billion young men.
>>
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>>33256854
>not to get sold off to some egglayer
Wow, rude. Dragons and griffons are Equestria's friends you know.
>>
>>33256854
desu I'd be honored of a fucking DRAGON of all things wanted me
>>
>>33256864
You have to remember that it is limited to those who
>have no problem with mares being cartoon horses
>are willing to leave the world behind
>are good and wholesome men who could properly love a mare and integrate into Equestrian society
That brings us down to a few thousand at most, I would guess. And moreover, you wouldn't want there to be too many men let in anyway, since then we would form a substantial portion of the population and (unintentionally) supplant pony culture with human culture, ruining everything.
>>
>>33256886
>That brings us down to a few thousand at most
I don't think you realize how big a number one billion is and how desperate men are for good companionship nowadays.
>>
>>33256886
>>33256903
I did the math. The actual number is 144,000.
>>
>>33256812
>>33256859
>>33256865
Since when do the other races of Equestria have the same sex ratio problems ponies do?
>>
>>33256912
Oh jew
>>
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>>33256927
Maybe some do, maybe some don't. Maybe some just want a human partner, who knows?
>>
>>33256903
>>33256912
The vast majority of men in the world are essentially NPCs who can only feel primitive emotions like lust. Such people cannot feel love, and they would not have any place in Equestria.
If I were invited to go, but I was told that there would be tens or hundreds of thousands of others, I would have serious reservations. It just seems like mass immigration would have negative effects on Equestria and render the whole thing pointless. I don't imagine Cadance or the other princesses wanting that many men there either.
>>
>>33256954
They do have a pretty sizeable landmass and cities, a hundred thousand probably wouldn't be as widespread as you're thinking. Especially not if several of the other races got in on the action, since a chunk of that might end up on entire different continents.
>>
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>races that aren't pony
If she ain't a mare she don't compare.
>>
>>33256990
but ive always been weak for dragons
>>
>>33225786
>>
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>tfw no integration program where you get to learn all about Equestria and their history and everything from social etiquette to how to be a good husbando
>>
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>>33256812
>>33256859
If that was my only chance of getting matched and moving to Equestria, I would gladly take it. Give me my slav griffon mate and I'll pack my things.
>>
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>>33257058
>griffin
>slav
anon I got bad news for ya...
>>
>>33256990
This. I am here for MARES
M
A
R
E
S
Not ugly dragons, smelly yaks, or the beaked jew.
>>
>>33257065
What, did they not have their own Stalin to eradicate all the jews in their land?
>>
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>>33257078
history lessons cost 30 bits anon pay up
>>
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>>33256447
top neet
>>
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>>33256812
>get through the portal with your fellow men to an entire crowd of exotic females eyeballing you
>implying you wouldn't be interested
>>
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>>33257191
I would
>>
>>33257191
Not a mare
Does not compare
>>
>>33257191
>mare
Yes
>batmare or kirin
Maybe
>anything else
disgusting heresy
>>
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>>33257039
I'm sure they'd have one
Maybe some pamphlets and a video, too
>>
>>33257649
>Husbando school.
>Some of guest-speakers are bit more professional about it than others.
>"Alright listen up fellas if you want to absolutely blow her mind all you need to do is grab her like thi-"
"This is why you and your man aren't allowed to do this together anymore."
>>
>>33257039
>>33257649
>>33257703
Just one more reason someone needs to finally write >>33252518
>>
>>33256447
She just need a good bath or three.
Deal.
>>
>>33257343
This.
>>
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>>33257191
I wouldn't mind some exotic pussy.
>>
>wanting children
>twenty seconds of pleasure
>twenty years of responsibility
>wanting to add to the world's overpopulation
>wanting to thrust the burden of existence on others
>wanting to create something that will just die eventually
>>
>>33257831
well why dont you just kill yourself then senpai
>>
>>33257343
>>
>https://static1.e621.net/data/20/3e/203e724d6a096ce3a7ea06ea4f307967.gif
>>
>>33257758
Bap a Bat
>>
>>33258034
wtf bro that’s hot
>>
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>>33257831
D E L U D E D
>>
>>33258036
Why is the stuka so fucking horrible in Warthunder but praised irl?
>>
>>33258115
It's just because it's the most memorable because of the siren.
>>
>>33258116
Also, why does >>33258036 say it has 37mm gunpods? Was there a version with that or?
>>
>>33258120
Yes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BK_3,7
>>
>>33257343
>Mare
Oh yeah
>Batmare, kirin
This works too
>Planepony, mothpony
Yeah, I guess it's still a mare
>Griffon
Uhh, okay.
>Dragon
Cadance? I'm starting to get worried...
>Diamond dog, yaks, etc
THIS ISN'T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR
>>
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>>33258269
>Cadance? I'm starting to get worried...
>dragon
>not wanting this
GAYBOI
>>
>thread dedicated to PURE LOVE between a MAN and a MARE
>ends up becoming generic furry fetish general #187
Well boys, I guess it's time to say adieu.
>>
>>33258328
Things that are mare are the focus. The mare-adjacent like batpones, seahorses, and hippogryphs are 2nd priority after the pure mares have been filled. Anything less than 50% mare pone belongs elsewhere.
This is really just the strange waifu thread parasitizing a more lively thread.
>>
>>33258346
>spoiler
exactly, they’ll bleed off. these autists don’t have the stamina that us chad Purebros do. They burn out hopping from species to species.
>>
>>33258386
Like, I check that thread sometimes if it shows up, but since 90% of it the Thing and those retarded tatzlwurm ponies, I tend to lose interest pretty fast.
I was simultaneously flattered and confused when a character I made ended up in there.
>>
>>33258328
That feel when your favorite horsefucker general turns into the Strange Waifu Thread...
>>
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>>33258417
Y U NO LIKE TATZLJACK?
>>
>>33258386
>these autists don’t have the stamina that us chad Purebros do
I seriously hope that was ironic posting.
>>
>>33258528
Because it is a cheap imitation used to sell a fetish.
>>
>>33258528
Taztl was always a FOTM-tier fetish
>>
>>33258549
You scared, soigoy?
>>
>>33258701
Ironic shitposting is still shitposting.
>>
So this is the thread where you talk about how much you want to smash as much exotic pussy as possible, right? Cause I want a harem with 2 mares, a giant mare, a griffon (with extra bits), 2 dragonesses, one with tits, and a smol batpone.
>>
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>>33258748
Which giant mare anon, and how giant?
>>
>>33258748
very ecksdee falseflagging anon
>>
>33258748
You don't belong here.
>>
>>33258730
that’s true, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in china? I’m calling you out boy, it’s high noon
>>
>>33258965
Well gee anon, I was just posting what everyone else is posting.
>>
>>33259028
no
you were being a poor attempt at a strawman
>>
>>33258693
vore isn't "flavor of the month"
>>
>>33257831
>twenty seconds of pleasure
speak for yourself
>>
Killing this thread so that we can forget about all this degeneracy and get back on topic.
>>
new
>>33259441
>>
>>33259409
Even if you(somehow) will have 30 mins, it's still not gonna worth it.
>>
>>33259422
amen
>>
>>33259563
Agreed: laying with a thot is never worth it.
>>
Why are there two of these threads up, you spergs?
>>
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>>33261012
Mare love is just that important.



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