give me your best riddles /lit/
why my pee pee come out yellow
>>13117937Ah, Your Mothers Panties, I want to see lad, I go by Bradbury, oh good it seems I am in a bit of a hurry, once I count to three, I want to see your mothers panties beneath my feet, don’t be afraid, I shall sniff them and present you with a grade, A for excellent, E for prepubescent
if accidents happen in reality then accidents must occur in math.
literally just made this one, it’s kinda shit but whatever:a piece of art that can’t be framedi am known by many namesi only work when i am spuni cut like knife and shoot like gunwhat am i?
>>13117937What accounts for a mere 13% but occupies 50%?
>>13118236YesI like that
Just thought of this one, /lit/ :3A fly that can't be caughta lie that cant be taughtI have three fingersand four toesAnd wear plaid ribbonsAnd socks with no toes
>>13118324A music record?
I am thread bringer's shameBoundless and unyieldingThe beginning of fameIs my start, and mighty blazeWould come from my combustion
>>13118732an old worn-out tranny
>>13119003Actually the answer was: nonsense. Absolute fucking nonsense. So you're wrong, since that is something specific. :3
I wrote Mein KampfI killed some jewsI made AuschwitzI killed more jewsPeople called me fuhrerWho am I?
It doesn’t matter who I am, what matters is what I am going to do. I was not born in darkness but molded by it, I’m a big guy for you and getting caught was a part of my plan. Who am I?
>>13119072A rare case of a meme that passed the test of time
>>13118447>>13118649>>13118656>>13119056>>13119010Nope>>13118916Closest answer, but still no
>>13118143That's not a riddle and it's not funny. Even if you don't like black people that just isn't funny. Are you 12 years old?
>>13117937Probably the worst ITT but whateverA long string with a fork in the middleWithout me, you want to drown in a puddleSometimes you hear noise, sometimes a fiddleBut boy, oh boy, does my owner suck at making riddlesWhat makes I?
>>13120022Fancy telling us now? It's a good enough riddle if no-one's got it yet.
>>13120084Last line is ; *What am I?
>>13120085ok.It’s a film.
>>13120139I thought so. Why the many names though? Also rewrote another versionA piece of art who's frame its inCan't be seen without a spinPartners it's been to gun and knifeLove or strife, it's watchers win
>>13120198Anon I’m sorry but that wording kind of sucks
There is an island in the middle of the sea with 101 inhabitants. 50 of those inhabitants have brown eyes. 50 have blue eyes. One person, the leader of the whole group, has green eyes.No one knows the color of their own eyes. There are no mirrors on the island and the waters are too violent to make one’s reflection out.Communication of all kinds is banned on this island. No words, no gestures, no drawings in the dirt, nothing. Only the leader may speak.There is a ferry on the island that leaves every night at 12 to take those on board back to civilization.There is a rule that once an inhabitant of the island knows their own eye color, they must board the ferry and leave that night.SOOne day, the leader emerges from her hut and looks out over her people. She raises her hand and says but one thing:“I see someone with blue eyes”And she returns to her hutWho leaves the island and on which night?Assume that everyone on the island is a perfect logician. No, this does not involve tricks or sneaky answers
>>13120400But what if they don't know everyone else is a perfect logician?
I am blue and up high, but I am not the sky. What am I?
The filthy fragrance that you seekAccompanied by roar or squeekYou beg for it down on your kneesThat effervescent rectal breeze
>>13118751Based Maritain poster, keep it up
>>13120436Interesting point. Assume they know that about everyone else
>>13121101But what if they don't know everyone knows everyone else is a perfect logician?
What is cute and funny?
>>13121107Then they wouldn’t be very good logicians, then, would they?
>>13121352A room full of logicians knowing everyone else is a logician does not imply everyone knows everyone knows everyone else is a logician.
>>13121371You’re correct, let me clearly restate the scenario1. Every inhabitant is a logician2. Every inhabitant knows that every other is a logician3. If an inhabitant can deduce something, they will assume that every other inhabitant can deduce the same thing (with the exception of something like a given inhabitant’s eye color, since that inhabitant can’t gaze at their own eye like everyone else can)
What is the same everywhere and nowhere?
>>13121453>>13121453>If an inhabitant can deduce something, they will assume that every other inhabitant can deduce the same thingThen they're bad logicians because that's not true unless everyone starts with the same information.Furthermore if you want them to know all the same information besides their own eye color, that gets weird and self referential when you stick that statement in the list of information they know.You should have just stated it was a society for logicians or something.
>>13118324A music box?
>>13120084your pills, which you should take now
>>13121650Except everyone does start with the same information, excluding the color of each individual's own eyeIt might get self referential but not contradictory. You know you don't know your eye color, you know no one knows their own eye color either, and you know that everyone understands that fact for themselves as well.
>>13120342>>13121491Yeah i already gave the answer though lol>>13120198Many names: cinema, movie, film, etc.
>>13122029No, it's my wired headphones. Get it? Lololol
>>13122036What does "They know everything you know besides their own eye color" mean? Clearly you can't just exclude the sentence "my eye color is X" because everyone else knows an infinite number of sentence that logically imply that. Saying "they don't know anything that would imply their eye color" probably isn't unambiguous because you could potentially exclude different sets of sentences and get that result.Maybe there are results in mathematical logic that show all variants of what you're describing have the same answer so formalizing what you're saying doesn't matter but I don't know what they would be. Maybe there's a nice way to formalize the informal reasoning we're using so you can just point at that and tell me they're using that along with a finite set of axioms, but I don't know that either.In conclusion you haven't actually described a formal system for the logicians to reason in, yet. If you want to hand everyone a set of axioms and rules of inference and tell them to get at it I'm going to need you to give them to me to answer your question.I'm guessing most of this is outside the intended scope of your riddle and it would be easier to imply something about an informal island law dictating what knowledge someone has to have in order to be on the island than it is to start referencing the logical system they're using inside the system itself while inductively defining the things they know.
>>13118621i like the phrasing of this roddle
>>13119024Abradolf Lincler, that you?
>>13120464uranus, neptune or a blue helium balloon
>>13121530reality as perceived by humans. Solipsism n shit
>>13120400Everyone but her leaves and they can do so all at once.
To give it, you must keep it.
A man goes to the hardware store to buy something for his house. He asks the clerk how much one will cost and the clerk looks it up and tells him it will be $3. He asks about buying twelve and is told it will be $6. Two hundred will cost $9.What is the man buying?
>>13122894Numbers that indicate the adress of the house.
>>13122910yeah that's it probably. every digit costs $3
Alright, what have I got in my digits?
>>13122864No! Think it through and tell me on which day (1st, 2nd, etc) which people leave
He is many in a bundle and the first to post. Who am I?
>>13123045Fine. It would take well over a month for the chain of deduction to make its rounds after which all those with blue eyes would then leave, thereafter followed by those with brown.
>>13120400I take it she was not pointing when she raised her hand, but I can't see another reason than this, since there would be no one to silence. But if she pointed at someone with blue eyes, everyone else could discover who had which color by counting from there.
>>13123073>thereafter followed by those with brownhow do they know their eyes aren't green?
>>13123093The hand is irrelevant, I just wanted her to seem priestlySomething I forgot to mention btw is that no one is certain that the island is split 50/50. For all any given islander knows, it could be one green, 49 brown, and 51 blue
>>13123093No.. I've read this before.. the answer is something like 99 days pass... no one leaves... then on the 100th day they all deduce their eye colour through nested hypothesis and leave at once...
>>13123152Lol, incorrectDon't just guess based on an answer you think you've heard. Think it throughtry thinking about the same scenario with only one blue eyed person, then two, and so on
>>13117937In the woods is where I live, but you see me in the cityKill me, bleed me, tie me up and children call me prettyI am taken as a sign of how much people giveWhen I die, I herald the time when everyone shall live
>>13123190a big ol' buck
what do you get when you mix an owl, with a bungee cord?my ass
>>13120464the sky when it lies about obviously being the sky
What is hard to find but easy to lose, worth more than gold but costs less than a penny?
>>13122852the answer was time (pre-relativistic)
>>1312474213% is also 1/2 of 26%
>>13124137Love.Air.Virginity.Wisdom.There are too many viable answers for me to give you an exact one.
>>13119003Fuckin hell you got me laughin Anon
>>13120198Nahhh needs work
>>13120400Everyone tries to fucking leave saying they have blue eyes. Half of them actually escape.
>>13123054Faggot-ass OP, of course.
>>13120464A blue hat on a very tall man
>>13120464I'm guessing you are aiming at some kind of naturally occurring phenomenon, because otherwise the set of possible answers would be way too large. Therefore I would suggest planets like Neptune and Uranus, as a previous anon stated. Or else, a neutron star, certain galaxies, or, if you mistakenly assumed that rain is blue, then I would go with that.
>>13120464The blue man group on an airplane
A woman shot her husband, drowned him, and hung him to dry. That night they ate dinner together. How is this possible?
>>13124939the woman is a schizophrenic who thought her husband was a towel, she shot the towel, tried to drown it, and then dry it. After that she snapped out of her psychosis and went home to eat dinner with her husband
>>13124916>>13122845>uranus, neptune>Or else, a neutron star, certain galaxies,brainleted stem-tards>>13120464a drug addict
>>13124939They ate before she killed him
>>13118236where there is no plan, there are no accidents
>>13124939The Holocaust didn't actually happen.
>>13124939She took a picture of him and developed it
How is a raven like a writing desk?
>>13125806they both have at least one feather, get more creative. next
>>13125818Poe wrote on both. Get on my level.
>>13125832Poe didn't write "on" the raven though. He just wrote "The Raven"
>>13125671someone with a brain kek
>>13125806Poe rubbed his foreskin on both