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This is a place for AGPs to hang out and talk about AGP things.

Rules: No harassing the AGPs.
AGPs and AGP-questioning only, please.
No debating the validity of Blanchardism. The position of this general is that AGP is something many people experience, regardless of if Blanchard is valid.
>>
Are all AGPs trans?
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>>12639383
No
See: sissies
>>
you're all disgusting
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>>12639374
I'm glad I'm AGP <3
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Who else regrets not transitioning?
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>>12639374
I don't know if this is the first AGP on television, but it is the most explicit.
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This thread is not /lgbt/-related. Were this a thread for trans girls in specific rather than fetishists it would be but there's already a thread for trans girls and they should just post there. A fetish general belongs on /d/
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>>12639419
Take your pills alice
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>>12639429
There ought to be AGP-targeted literature, romance films, tv series, etc. Just like there's LGB romances, female-targeted movies, and so on.
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>>12639419
Me.
I mean tried, but circumstances conspired against me in every possible way.
I regret ever being born.
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I didn't ask to be born AGP. Uggh
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So if agps are really narcissistic, and being narcissistic is bad, how do I stop? can I be agp without narcissism?
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>>12639793
>I mean tried, but circumstances conspired against me in every possible way.
tell your story sis
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>>12639771
>tfw no sitcom about an AGP and their wife who feminizes them.
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>>12639419
I felt some sadness when I was younger and girls were cute, but after some time passed I realized I would just end up a gross hag in my 30's and beyond so why even bother lol
>>12640457
meditation and ego death
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>>12640286
There's nothing wrong with AGP!

>>12640298
AGPs aren't narcissistic, Narcissism is about ego, AGP is about attraction. Many AGPs actually have very weak egos because depression and self-hate.
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So is anyone not going to point out that these amateurs are using fade transitions instead of cuts to black.
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>>12640286
No one asked for it. But we must live with it. Because we can take it.
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>>12639771
i unironically wanna write feminization comics for this purpose
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>>12640457
Born too early, in the wrong place, to the wrong people. That's all there is to it.
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>>12639374
Funny, while watching this episode I felt bad for Karl while my gf felt bad for Danny. She couldn’t understand why I felt bad for him at all, I think I revealed my power level too much.
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>>12641975
how are you able to have a gf if you're agp?
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>>12639433
This.

Mods please delete this abomination of a thread, it has no place on /lgbt/
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>>12642615
Ye, you will come around when you are older.
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>>12642598
I feel personally attacked.
What a curse to live with.
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>>12642477
Maybe I’m repressing it, maybe it’s a phase. I still don’t know yet. But it comes and goes. Last time was around 2014 when I was already in a relationship with her.
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>>12642587
>If you want to be the girl and not a girl you are AGP, not trans
what did he mean by this
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>>12640979
See, I understand where you're coming from (although some women can look beautiful well into their 50's), but for me I'm jealous of female socialisation.

Does anyone else wish they could just talk about girl stuff and girl problems with other girls? It seems like the only way you can really get a taste of it as a guy is by living through your gf.
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>>12639374
How do I stop being a pussy and buy some qt outfits?
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>>12643844
>Does anyone else wish they could just talk about girl stuff and girl problems with other girls?
Yeah. I want a bff even more than I want a bf/gf
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>>12644084
I want a male bf and a female bff/fwb

guys make you feel girly in one way by flirting and girls make you feel girly a different way by socializing with you as a fellow girl
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>>12644084
I know the feeling. I prefer being around women too, so the fact that it's difficult for a guy to earn a woman's trust as a close and intimate friend is difficult. The moment women find out that you're not gay, they start to be on their guard around you because they don't want to risk unrequited feelings. Meanwhile, they don't need to do this around cis lesbians because they have a separate dating pool from straight women.

The fact that even if I make friends with a girl, it's unlikely I'll be as tight with her as she is with her girlfriends really hurts. What can we even do to earn a woman's trust as a loyal friend and make clear to her that we value her for more than just the hole between her legs? At the same time, would they think less of us if they learned we liked the idea of crossdressing and acting like a girl, but we're also sexually attracted to women rather than men?
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Im more worried that the shoes on heavy clearance discount might be discontinued soon than the fact that im jobless.
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>>12639374
What's the image
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>>12644553
It is from Black Mirror. Search the catalog for the relevant thread.
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>>12639374
watching this made me legit sad
we wont ever get realistic VR to indulge and transition once you are a grown up man is virtually impossible - you will never pass even remotely
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>>12646003
>when he starts describing how much better the female orgasm is
This episode was designed to bulli AGPs.
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>>12639374
K cunts... I'll watch the show, only this episode, just because every tranny seems to have seen it.
I've heard its a good show, so I have high expectatives.
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>>12645733
I refuse to watch dumb tv shows. Give me a quick rundown.
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>>12648565
nigs using VR to become asians and have sex
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>>12648565
How is black mirror dumb? like sure it's not the pinacle of human intelligence but it's above average at least
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>>12648688
in the age of instant gratification, even 1 hour of tv is too much
the coddled mind of a tranny has no patience beyond a 3 minute youtube video
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>>12647716
this was a solid ep but most homos drool over San Junipero
the best eps are definitely White Christmas, USS Callister and Fifteen Million Merits
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>>12648736
San Junipero is godtier, but not for the gay stuff.
>white christmas
>USS Callister
Those are really good too, but kind of overated.
>fifteen million merits
My nigga.
>>
>agp. transbian. passer.
> good life. great job. $$$
> beautiful trap gf to marry
> rich bf to fuck.

not sure where else to post this, so i'm putting it here. its something i've never talked about irl.

since childhood, i've found most women to be shallow and dull - or, worse, obsessed with the shallowest forms of identity.

ofc --- i know there are women who aren't like that, and life has given me the chance to meet several. but, despite the counterexamples, i've never been able to fully dissuade myself of the notion/sterotypr.

[consequently, i've only dated men and mtfs, despite finding ciswomen physically attractive in the abstract.]

can anyone else relate to this? or the attendant (and admittedly ridiculous) need to show that you aren't that sterotype? the sense of duplicity in that?
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>>12649049
I'm the opposite. It's men who I think are shallow. I think a lot of it comes down to personal experiences. I guess I've been lucky by having lots of good women in my life, so that's shaped my opinion of them. The belief that women are shallow probably comes from seeing teenage girls and 20ish YO girl behaving in a shallow way. You've just got to remember that a lot of guys this age are equally shallow, but you just don't notice it as much because you were born male and men tend to be shallow in a different way.

In terms of good people though, I've seen more good women than good men, hence my bias.
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you think if hedonism was a church stilettos would be one of the holy objects?
why does it feel like these things have mind controlling power? is it just pure excitement? they always give me a weird feeling in my chest.
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>>12649049
Are you an actual unicorn ?
>>
is it possible to get rid of this bullshit? how the fuck are you supposed to live with it? almost feels worse than being a pedophile
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Am I AGP if I like gender bender hentai?
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>>12649653
Honestly, the only way to get an actual good ending for being AGP is to just say fuck it and just transition as a teen. Failing that, it's just varying degrees of coping and finding any outlet that works for you.

t. late trans permaboymoder after trying to cope for 12 years
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>>12649588
unicorn?
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>>12649998
It seems rare for AGPs to pass and actually lead a good life.
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>>12642477
Most AGPs have gfs because they get the gf they want to be and do a lot of masculine things to avoid those feelings.

>>12641975
I honestly felt bad for everyone. I felt bad for Karl for those confusing feelings that can't be realized, I felt bad for Danny being so confused and I felt bad for Theo for realizing her husband is a pervert. She compromised with him, but that kind of thing definitely fucks with you knowing he's the father of your kids.
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>>12650007
i see. i transitioned at 23 - but i also had a very late puberty, hugely supportive parents, and money to get laser/ffs/ba/bbl. I beat the odds and ended up fully passing by the 11 month mark. managed to keep my shit together (barely), and finished a phd about four years later.

aside from romantic drama, and one or two staggeringly painful breakups, my life has been pretty great ever since. b4 i was a self-hating NEET planning a suicide before i turned 25.
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>>12650058
I don't know why you browse this shit awful board full of assholes and bait if your life is so perfect.
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>>12650062
Lonliness and boredom. I don't have trans friends anymore, not even discord ones. I faded away from it, and - at times - miss it. My irl friends only see a small, somewhat curated, side of me. It's nice because being a mtf is not part of my id, but also isolating.
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>>12649049
How do you date men without being attracted to them?

>>12650086
How did you lose your trans friends?

You can always make new ones on /tttt/. Ones you can talk about things like AGP with, even!
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>>12647689
I think the Black Mirror episode is not to bully AGPs, it's to be relatable to us.

I wish there was lots of fiction aimed at AGPs. Novels and music videos and songs and episodes of shows.
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>>12649520
>you think if hedonism was a church stilettos would be one of the holy objects?
In the Museum of Transness, they would be one of the sacred objects. But for other trannies, other things would matter were. Bras or leggings or makeup or who knows. Not to mention ftms, I can't even guess what would be sacred to them.
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>>12650146
Idk. I don't completely buy the meta-attraction stuff. Yeah, i like how feminine it makes me feel when he fucks me, and the sensation is mindblowing -- i love submitting to him and all that... and yeah, i'm not super attracted to the male body outside of the cock... BUT, i also like lying on his chest after sex. smelling him. feeling his breath. hearing him tell me stories. things that aren't sexual, but are unbelievably lovely all the same. the meta-attraction theory fails to account for those feels.

I'll also try your suggestion at some point, i think. In the past, i've found that most mtfs i grow fond of are channers.
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Does anyone else ever just get angry all the time because they feel like they were made to be AGP? I just feel like I had a chance to be normal, but some shit happened to me as a child, and turned me in to an AGP and I just have so much difficulty coping with that.
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>>12650229
All the time. I transitioned 9 years ago and I'm still angry. I hate how I turned out. I'm bitter and jealous of all the people that lead more relatively normal lives. No one ever understands my sexuality, no one quite gets the trans thing, no one wants to introduce me to their friends and family. I'm tired of being a weird embarrassment.
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>>12650226
as to how i lost them. i've moved a lot in the last few years, and - also - sometimes have gone months without using my desktop for non-work stuff... so, really, a mixture of neglect and distance.

i am a solitary creature by nature, and i struggle to reach out to the world beyond my lovers. growing out of my 20s (i'm 29) has only worsened things, because it becomes progressively harder to find friends of a similar background, who are mature, and looking for a very intimate friendship.
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>>12650277
Solitary is a interesting choice of words for someone that seemingly has had multiple relationships and plenty of friends to lose in the first place. Sounds like you just became a workaholic and neglected the social network you already had.
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>>12650229
I definitely feel this. My childhood was pretty weird and lonely and I would not be surprised if I had suffered some forgotten sexual trauma when I was young. The human psyche is very impressionable and the idea that a tiny quirk during childhood could've left my sexuality permanently impaired is endlessly upsetting. But what can you do.
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>>12650226
>BUT, i also like lying on his chest after sex. smelling him. feeling his breath. hearing him tell me stories.
I want this so much
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>>12650229
>>12650297
I'm not angry or unhappy that I'm AGP, I'm more resentful about things like >>12650259, other people getting better lives, not transitioning early enough, not being understood, transphobia


>My childhood was pretty weird and lonely
What Was it like?
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I am a lonely virgin who likes wearing panties in secret and shaving my legs, do I count
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>>12650295
that's a rather accurate analysis. perhaps solitary was the wrong word. also, my lovers (particularly my gf) become my world, in some sense. this impedes my ability to stretch my social bubble. i can't live without love.
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So AGP is an established sexuality now? /lgbta/ when? I deserve rights!
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I've been agp since I had my first sexual fantasy where I imagined sex with a guy from the girl's perspective. also I used to crossdress beginning from 4 or 5 years old. just throwing in my 2 cents that it sucks and will never leave
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>>12650316
>what was it like?
I was a shy, quiet kid. Never could really make many friends with the other kids, mainly just kept to myself and read lots of books. Always an outcast. My family also moved a lot, so I was never in one place for long. Combined with chronic anxiety from an early age and a strict religious upbringing, I think it knocked a few screws loose. The reason I am 100% certain my AGP is just a fetish is because I have a strong memory of this era and not once did I ever think about wanting to be a girl.

Maybe I just had the wrong personality type mixed in with the wrong environment, creating a perfect storm of sexual confusion after puberty.
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>>12650158
makes you realize it's a never ending feels bad

>>12650259
I'm staying cis for these reasons
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>>12650369
Lots of AGPs seem to have had that quiet, shy outcast experience of childhood. Does it cause AGP? Do AGPs naturally end up loners? Do outgoing, popular AGPs just repress better or introspect less and live as men?

I don't know.

>The reason I am 100% certain my AGP is just a fetish is because I have a strong memory of this era and not once did I ever think about wanting to be a girl.
But did you ever have feelings of any other sexuality before your AGP?
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>>12649672
>>12650323
Why do you think you might *not* be AGP?
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>>12650359
Technically the T in LGBT covers AGP and AAP (LG covers HSTS but they can be included in T too for practical purposes).
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>>12639374
WOT IF VIDEO GAMES MADE YE A BENDAH
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>>12650384
I'm also planning to stay cis. It doesn't feel right calling myself a transwoman or even a woman because my dysphoria is light enough that I can still function in society despite wanting to be a woman.

My hope is to just get a gf and surround myself with female friends so I can be one of girls without actually being a girl.
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>>12650401
Not sure. I had a regular straight-ish male sexuality for the most part. Wanted to put my peener in someone like every boy that age. These days I switch between asexual disgust, attraction to men, regular attraction to women, AGP. I dunno...
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Mayonnaise isn't a gender
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do the majority of agps here not see themselves as trans?
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>>12650504
I struggle to identify as trans at least, as I've already said here >>12650449

I feel that because I don't hate my male body and would simply just prefer a female one, that I likely don't have dysphoria. Calling myself trans therefore seems like I'm invalidating people who genuinely do have strong dysphoria.

I accept my male body, but I'd be female if I had a choice. I'm unsure if this makes me trans.
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>>12650404
I like my male appearance and CD in private to feel cute.
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>>12650544

i didn't have dire dysphoria before i started hrt, although it ramped up steadly for a bit (and declined again as i started to pass).

my transition reasoning was rooted in a cold rationality, not dysphoria: i didn't think anyone could love a shy quiet nerdboy who only fantasized about being a women and being extremely submissive.... but flip nerdboy to nerdgirl, and i would be something more... palatable... to most people - and be more likely to find the kind of intimacy i desired. It was one of the best decisions i ever made. I figured i would kill myself if i failed.
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>>12650591
>submissive shy nerdboy

Shit, this is me. The problem is that I'm 6'3 and have a Chad jaw, so I feel I'd never pass as a girl. On top of that, I'm extremely fashion conscious and I look good in male clothing. My rationale is that I wouldn't want to change the fact that I look good by risking becoming a hon. I've been slowly working some makeup into my fashion routine as a work around, and I've found that I love wearing it despite not knowing much about makeup.
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>>12650591
Sounds like a dream come true. We have the same motivation for transitioning. Hope my life will turn out just half as well.
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>>12650488
>I had a regular straight-ish male sexuality for the most part. Wanted to put my peener in someone like every boy that age.
Did you really? Or is it more like you saw porn and assumed you were inserting as the guy because you didn't self-examine your feelings enough yet?
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>>12639374
good place for AGPs >>12650999
>>
Did anyone ever try to use hypnosis files to experience having a girl's body? I used to try like every other day for weeks...
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>>12651235
I see what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it. But I really am just a dude. Some of us fall through the cracks and end up here. That's just how it is.
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>>12651453
If you're really just a dude, how did you end up AGP? What you're saying doesn't add up.
>>
I feel like my life would have ended up a lot better if I just had given in and transitioned as a teen. I mean, I tried, but nothing came out of it other than a bunch of scripts for antidepressants, and so I figured I should just give up.
Now I regret everything.
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>>12650504
I’m not trans unless I decide to transition imo. I’m not into this new wave “I identity as a woman even though I haven’t done anything yet” thing.
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>>12652046
How did you try and how did you give up?

Every obstacle to AGP transition should be removed.
>>
Is anyone else in a constant mental loop because they think their dysphoria could be due to a cocktail of other problems? I’ve got social anxiety disorder, a huge inferiority complex and dyspraxia (you may not know much about this one, but it causes a huge amount of motor physical and social retardation).
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>>12652293
You're not a psychiatrist. Stop trying to psychoanalyze yourself. Your are not an expert (and how oft the experts themselves are frauds).

Ask yourself: What would you do in a perfect world? Now ask yourself - how can you realize that idealization? Then act.

I played the game you're playing. It cost me literal years of my life. I hope it does not do the same to you
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>>12652293
Dysphoria comes from AGP.
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>>12639400
This, thread over, close it down, throw it in the trash where it goes along side the opinion of all "AGPs".
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>>12652354
Can’t answer those questions. Maybe I’m too depressed but I can’t see any light, transition just seems silly for me. Would look terrible and I’m not convinced it would magically resolve most of my issues
>>
Hey y'all, I'm at my first pride event ever right now, alone, and I see a really cool looking pack of fellow AGPs. I'm semi-boymoding with female coded hair. How can I compliment them on their programming socks without making it weird?

Thanks!
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>>12652267
Parents literally beat me back into the closet, shrinks blamed it all on my "depression", customs confiscated all my meds.
I should've just killed myself after that. Nothing good ended up happening afterwards.
>>
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>>12639374
I just watched this episode of AGPMirror and now I am back on /lgbt/. I hadn't been here in months. Mass media is /literally/ trying to make me a tranny.
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>>12654323
>myself
more like, your parents
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>>12654594
I've thought about that, but they're not long for this world anyway. Rather just disappear already and show them how gravely they fucked up.
>>
I'm a gay man, and this is quite possibly the first ever time I've heard of an AGP. I did a quick google search, so I think I understand? I'm a complete top and find bottom repulsive IRL, but I've jerked off countless times to the thought of being fucked by a hot dude, sometimes pretending I had a vagina and that was the organ being used for sex. Is that basically what AGP is?
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>>12654690
sorry to break the news to ya, but yep
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>>12654690
Agp is for straight people only you pedophile
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>>12654690
>but I've jerked off countless times to the thought of being fucked by a hot dude, sometimes pretending I had a vagina and that was the organ being used for sex. Is that basically what AGP is?
AGP is when you need to imagine you're a girl to get off.

Jerking off to guys and sometimes imagining a vagina is just gay/HSTS.
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>>12639374
Are all transbians agp?
>>
What exactly is an AGP?
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>>12654690
That just sounds like regular gay. AGP is basically a straight male sexuality, but reflected onto yourself. They aren't actually attracted to guys. It's hard to explain.
>>12654589
didn't really seem like an tranny episode desu, seems like it might've potentially had trans themes but they pussied out halfway through
>>
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>>12655582
>AGP is basically a straight male sexuality
awesome, you just saved me trouble of having to say "no homo" everytime
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>>12655607
>have sex with boyfriend
>forget to say "no allo"
>bf calls me a dumb hsts
>>
I'm AGP and transitioning
am I happy? dunno
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>>12655657
Are you happier?
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>>12655662
maybe
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>>12655194
all transbians are AGP and all AGPs are transbians
I don't know why people even bother making a distinction at this point these words are synonyms
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Is there some corelation between agp and schizoid personality?
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>>12655719
I'm a straight AGP
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>>12655725
practically impossible
ever considered that you might be more on the HSTS side?
>>
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>>12655728
I thought this wasn't the place for blanchardist talk
this is my viewpoint
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Will I ever be redpilled on agps? the more I learn the more I hate being agp and other agps
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>>12655733
seems like a dishonest viewpoint but I am sure you have your reasons
>>12655735
half the problem is acknowledging you have this fetish
if you come to terms with your sexuality and try to limit it in complete contrast to a furry for example then you will be ok
>>
>>12655744
I'm pouring my heart out here
you think I would come clean to being an AGP freak just to push some weird agenda that I don't even believe in?
>>
>>12655735
you are already redpilled. Being a self-aware fetishist is better than being a denialist hon who tries to seduce actual lesbians in women's bathrooms.
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>>12655735
Just be attractive and then no one will care, you don't even have to pass
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>>12655733
>I thought this wasn't the place for blanchardist talk
It's not (I'm sure you do fit the AGP criteria though, things like being 40+ are just common traits not criteria), that poster is an AGPphobe chaser regular. As a cis he shouldn't be in our thread in the first place, let alone trying to invalidate straight and bisexual AGPs.
>>
>>12655735
>the more I hate being agp and other agps
what did agp's do??
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>>12650164
But ive heard cis women say that heels hypnotize them
They're also less funny than a bra or leggings as an object of worship
>>
>>12655785
Be agp
>>
>>12643925
Which one are you buying
>>
I’m a worthless freak and I am going to kill myself
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Just discovered this whole AGP concept. Didn't know it had a name. I've been this way for decades and the wife encourages it. We budget female clothes for me, we have sex with me dressed as a woman. I wear makeup and dresses around the house. It's great. I have no intention of becoming female. None. I just want to dress up and take her strapon.
>>
>>12656147
see you in hongen in a few years
>>
If AGP can be just a fetish, which I think it can although the lines are a bit blurry when dysphoria is involved e.t.c, then why does it seem to carry so much shame and anguish compared to other fetishes? It must some something to with male socialisation and men being endemically taught that femininity is wrong.

There are so many people with bizarre fetishes. Furries, baby players, scat lovers, gimps e.t.c. It doesn’t seem to ruin their life like it does for self confessed AGP people. Why?
>>
>>12656249
It's that combined with the fact that there's a stigma around trannies and the line between men who want to be women and trans women is very thin. Pretty much all AGPs will be forced to ask themselves the question of whether or not they're trans, often with no clear answer.

Regardless of what conclusion they reach about themselves, the stigma of being trans remains. Imagine being recognised by everyone as a cute girl. Now imagine being recognised by everyone as a tranny. Which sounds less appealing?
>>
>>12656249

it might be because unlike those fetishes, AGP often seems to completely supplant heterosexual attraction. e.g. it’s very difficult or impossible for an AGP to have sex normally and enjoy it, whereas they will cum in about 5 seconds when indulging in an AGP fantasy
>>
>>12656316
I think this is only true for AGPs who fuck men.

Hetero AGPs/tranbians are still having sex with women like a heterosexual man would, so it doesn't always supersede heterosexuality.
>>
>>12656094
Wait for me anon, I don't want to die alone.
>>
>>12656316
Don’t baby players, for example, need it to get of at some point? Or otherwise I can’t see why they do it. As much shame and secrecy I’ve had about AGP / crossdressing ideations when dating girls, I equally can’t imagine how anybody could be cool admitting “ I like to be put in a diaper and a crib and treated like a 6 month old”. Yet they really don’t seem to care.

I can have sex with women, never fail to get hard. My enjoyment varies widely.
>>
I've seen some variant of this question in plenty of trans spaces before, but never in a specifically AGP space. Especially not in one where everyone believes they are AGP, and I'm curious to see if the results will change. If you had two buttons in front of you, one made you completely, physically a woman, but made no changes to your brain, and the other completely cures you of AGP, and any related symptoms, such as dysphoria, which button would you press? Or would you not press either for some reason?
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>>12656546
I think the remove AGP one. I can’t honestly say that I feel legit “like a woman” enough to think it would all be fine if I were female. With my current brain I’d still be stressing all of the time about what if’s, why’d this happen? Why, why, why.

Get rid of AGP + dysphoria and I can actually just live the life I’m living now but without all the angst and despair. That sounds great.
>>
Is this the right thread to post transbian things? I want to make a post but I don't want to start another thread
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>>12656249
>There are so many people with bizarre fetishes. Furries, baby players, scat lovers, gimps e.t.c. It doesn’t seem to ruin their life like it does for self confessed AGP people. Why?
Are those things one of the two states in which a person gender can be in? Are they as inherent to a human being as is a person's sex? Why does everyone forget this essential difference?
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>>12656546
The first one because heck yeah. Still would not identify as trans or a woman though.
>>
>can't get off at all entire life without self inserting as the woman, or picturing myself as a woman in my head in fantasies
>can get off to solo women and men
>straight up gay man on man porn does nothing, in fact it grosses me out since I have nothing to self insert into
>despite this really sexually attracted to dicks
So I'm just meta attracted to dicks and not actually bi right? Despite me willing to get fucked by a guy as long as I would be cross dressing and he would have to treat me like a woman and refer to me as one.
>>
ya'll are really depressing. just transition, and find some other cute transbian to love and cuddle. your agp feels will disappear after a few years, and you'll stop feeling like shit about it.

just don't be weird about it. dont try to present as an hsts, because thats not you. dont slather yourself in makeup, and wear excessively skimpy outfits. you'll just creep people out. if you work hard enough, get the surgeries, and train your voice, you can pass a low effort cute girl with boyish interests. as long as you don't have horribly boisterous masculine personality (unlikely, given this is 4chan), and genetics are not horrid, you can have a nice life.

I transitioned 7 years ago, at 23, after repeatedly talking myself out of it since i was 16. largely because i figured i was doomed to being a weird creepy hon... saving myself from honhood was a matter of $$$, luck, and time - the not being creepy part was easy though.

good luck sadfrens. i hope you don't hate yourself someday.
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>>12656637
I’m talking in the context of those whose AGP is primarily a sexual thing and doesn’t ally with a greater identity. Not transwomen generally.
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>>12656713
My cis sister is a million times more boisterous and masculine than me. Mighty shitty of you to put women in a box like that, you kind of sound like an asshole, sorry.
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>>12656335
they often have AGP fantasies running through their head while fucking women, though
>>
ps. the meta-attraction stuff is largely bullshit. our sexuality isn't immutable, contrary to decades of lgbt propaganda.

what makes men beautitul isn't their bodies (yes, the faggots here disagree - they are the true fetishists) - but rather their attitude, their strength, and their protectiveness. yes, fit guys are vastly nicer to look at than fat basedboys, but the essence of attraction does not lie there. it is in their smell, the way they touch you, the feeling of security you get when you bury yourself in their chests. the sweet things they whisper into your ears. the strength of their will. and yes, their dominance.

gay men (and some hstses) see men as sex objects. but they aren't and nature never intended them to be so look at what ciswomen are actually attracted too - body is only a small part. they want a provider, a protector, and most of all, someone to follow. the purest form a woman's love is submission. the purest form of a man's love is a desire to provide and protect.
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>>12656736
ciswomen can get away with a personality like that. trannies cannot.

i don't mean to be an asshole, but i've met and clocked otherwise physically passable mtfs based on their personality/mannerisms.
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>>12656763
I’ve never actually did this. My AGP is compartmentalised, when I was dating women a lot (I feel too mentally unwell to date anyone now) it was very much to suppress any AGP stuff and it was the last thing on my mind.

There’s was one weekend where the two overlapped. I was at a music festival with a girl that had a cross-dress themed fancy dress day and I wore girl clothes in that context. For some reason this really distressed me, like the two sides of me that I was trying to keep apart were colliding. I had a bit of a breakdown and she dumped me. One of my more pathetic moments I must say.
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>>12656766
Pretty archaic view of sexuality there. Whilst elements are true, to flatly say
Man = dominant
Woman = submissive is a bit general given the amount of outliers.
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>>12656805
modernity corrupts our understanding of the most basic notions. the words i've written would be regarded as common-knowledge in most human societies, for most of human history.

there are always outliers and counterexamples, such as we ourselves (and all other gender variant individuals). but don't dismiss the pattern because it does not have universal applicability.
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>>12656766
Why am I so sexually attracted to dicks then and not the rest of men's bodies or faces?
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>>12656844
I’m still not entirely sure what you’re going on about, I don’t recognise “the pattern”’you lay out. You describe female sexuality as almost nothing to do with sex and more some abstract submissive craving to be lead in life. This just doesn’t align with my observations as somebody living in their twenties. I’ve noticed that women more and more are having non-committal casual sex because, you know, sex is fun and aren’t seeking out relationships in the way you describe. Whereas men are more likely to catch feels and fall in love.

You talk about history like religion, societal structures have nothing to do with how people are influenced. It does. The world is changing, people are changing. To quote Renton in Peep Show “in 1000 years there will be no such thing as men or women, just wankers. Sounds great”.
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Oh god, I think I like girls

I'm 18, I've had two boyfriends and sexual relationships with a few other men. But until recently, I assumed sex was supposed to just be sort of bad.

This past week I had a female friend stay at my house with the implied assumption that we would be romantically/sexually involved, and oh god, I've never felt this way about anyone ever. When we cuddled, and I held her, I felt more satisfied than I had ever felt, like I could endure any problem in life so long as I could return to moments like this. when we kissed, I wanted nothing more than to keep on kissing, and when we stopped, I spent every moment of the wanting to kiss her again. When I touched her, and her me, I actually felt aroused. That's such a simple thing, but... I remember watching guys suck on my breasts with bemused ambivalence. Not so with her.

Now she's gone and I can still smell her on my sheets and every time I'm reminded of her I wish I could reach out and talk to her.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. It's all very confusing because I used to think I was 99% straight maybe a little bi. But I've literally never felt any of these things with men. Getting emotionally attached to someone and then having to say good bye is sort of an intense way to realize you like girls.
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>>12656865
because you are sexually attracted to the idea of submission. the idea attracts you and repulses you in equal measure.

but submission isn't just sexual in nature. and it must never - ever - be repulsive. nothing in love should be repulsive. your hatred of your own desires, your childish repression, prevents you from exploring them. accept your desires as beautiful, and explore them openly. try to see them as they are - not merely as a sexual exercise, but as a fundamentally spiritual one. In the end, you may not find men as beautiful as i do, but you will learn about yourself. what you do what that knowledge is your choice - but i hope it leads you to a nicer place than a self-loathing /lgbt/ thread.
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>>12656917
Sounds like you’re a straight dude,
Bro.
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>>12656890

then you have misunderstood me. i have spoken on woman's sexuality. it lies in the way a man smells, the way he touches her, the way he talks to her. these are the things that make women wet. physicality matters (i never said it didn't), but it is often outweighted by other factors. men watch porn. women read erotica and/or indulge elaborate sexual fantasizes. if you don't understand this. you don't understand women.

second, i know many women that have tons of casual sex, and find themselves so utterly lonely for it. another tragedy of modernity. sex without love is profoundly empty after a fashion. but we forget this. (if you yourself have, go read one of the gay threads on this forum were they mourn their sad bf-less lives)

finally, the world is changing, techonology is progressing - but people are not. our essential desires have changed little in 6000 years.
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>>12656918
Like said I've tried to get into straight up gay porn but it actively kills my sex drive. A woman has to be involved for me to self insert or it has to be a solo guy with a dick I find hot.
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>>12656954
I do feel like part of my attraction to her is rooted in feeling like a straight "bro." Like, it's not cool to date guys or have a boyfriend. But when I'm with her, I go out in public and I imagine all the people watching us who must think two lesbians kissing is hot.
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>>12656988
I was trolling sorry, I’m in a bitter mood. Ignore me. I’m happy for you.
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>>12656999
Oh, it's okay! I thought you were being jokey and I didn't take it bad
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>>12656976
I dunno, I still think you’re oversimplying. My own experience of casual sex with women as a man certainly had nothing to do with the way I “talked to them” or “touched their hair” or any of that shit. They just aggressively wanted dick.
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>>12640979
>meditation and ego death
what? are you saying these thing stopped you from transitioning? or that those things helped you overcoe the fact that you didnt transition?
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>>12656983
do you have agp feels?

> do you fantasize about being a woman?

ask yourself: why? why do i want to negate my own masculinity/maleness?

>do you fantasize about being in a female role during sex?

ask yourself: why? why is it that you desire what is contrary to your body and your genetic destiny?

> are you jealous of women?

ask yourself: why? what do they have that you lack?


like all animals, humans are fundamentally sexual creatures. other than food, drink, and pain avoidance, our sexual desires hold an immense sway over us. the passage of billions of years of evolution have hard wired these desires into every aspect of our being. and in you, yes, something went a little bit off. stop trying to pathologize them and you yourself, and start listening to them. embrace them, understand them, and then follow them.

when you understand yourself better, you yourself should have a better explanation than "agp". i hope you find it.
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>>12656713
>and genetics are not horrid
RIP
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>>12656147
now this is truly the most optimal outcome. absolutely based and redpilled. i envy you so fucking much
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>>12657024
some women have high sex drives, and find enjoyment with casual sex. most do not. sometimes women have sex for reasons not concerning physical desire, but rather as an attempt feel valued, as they see their worth in the reflection of lust in a man's eyes.

the most mentally healthy women i've known tend to be the ones that marry young (between 20 and 25) and have a small number of prior sexual partners. I've also known exceptions, but they are few and far between. as always, the tragedies are far more common.
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>>12657120
I’m getting an extremely creepy almost Jim Jones like feel from you. You proffer generalisations like they are absolutes with some puritanical opinions smattered in passively. You’re refusal to use the upper case is also unsettling.
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>>12657198

you are in a place where people have pathologized their most intimate desires. who agonize over them as if the universe itself has conspired to posion them. those who hold themselves in contempt, according to a fairly dated piece of one man's psychosexual typography. do you appreciate how foul that is? how sad?

i stand in opposition to that. it saddens me, because i see my sixteen year old self in them (and you). i try to distill my frame, the accumulated observstions of my life, into farely simple generalizations and statements. may it be that i understand the counter viewpoints, but i do not think this thread constitutes the appropriate venue for philosophical/sociological digressions? may it be that i have read and appreciated foucault and beauvoir, just i have read and appreciated nietzche and evola?

i am not a puritain. far from it. i live in love and in debaucherym but there is value in having an understanding of the natural desires of men and women that is not corrupted by the social and political movements of the day.
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>>12656316
I can get off in male or female mode. I just love dressing up, and having sex with a woman. Maybe AGP isn't me?
>>
i hate AGP constantly pushing for me to be a girl while I fap. I don't think about being a girl in any other time or place, but when I fap it's like this dopamine rush insists I am female when I know I'm not, but it just fucking keeps happening. I don't want to be consumed by my fetish, I want to be myself.

Fuck AGP
>>
>Tfw can barely get off to AGP fantasies except with speed alone and a limpening dick
>Tfw can't orgasm to normal shit and get a lot of anxiety and fear when it's time to come, thinking I'm about to do it inside a woman
>read case studies from AGPs who later became trannies
>they describe forcing themselves to masturbate to the straight shit they wanted to like as the first one
>and if they describe AGP as anything but fulfilling it's closer to the second one where they repressed the feelings out of shame/fear/self-hatred
>never felt fulfilled with AGP fantasies
>disappointing but reliable orgasms
>only once felt fulfilled masturbating to a girl but she was clearly 14-15 and I was drunk

I don't know maybe I'm just afraid of intimacy?
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>>12656546
The first one. I do want to be a woman physically, but it's too late for that.
I would definitely press the other button if it was my only option, though.
Anything is better than this hell.
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>>12656713
If you are who I think you are (and I'm pretty sure), then you're an inspiration to me. Thanks.
>>
https://www.strawpoll.me/17147302
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>>12658138
>>only once felt fulfilled masturbating to a girl but she was clearly 14-15 and I was drunk
how do you even tell the age of a cis girl nowadays
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>>12656546
I'd press the first one to become female (but still AGP in my brain). I wouldn't press a button to be female if it stopped me being AGP and I wouldn't press a button to be a cis male without AGP. I'd rather have dysphoria as my AGP self than be someone else who isn't AGP.

>>12656713
>your agp feels will disappear after a few years, and you'll stop feeling like shit about it.
I don't feel like shit for being AGP and I don't want my AGP feels to ever go away.
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>>12661104
Imagine being a cis girl with AGP. That would be a fucking dream.
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>>12661087
The part where it was a drawing of someone who looked like and was canonically a middle schooler.
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>>12650591
>i didn't think anyone could love a shy quiet nerdboy who only fantasized about being a women and being extremely submissive.... but flip nerdboy to nerdgirl, and i would be something more... palatable... to most people - and be more likely to find the kind of intimacy i desired. It was one of the best decisions i ever made.
This only works if you have what it takes genetically to pass successfully etc. If you are tall and masculine like me or >>12650630, you're just hurting yourself by transitionning.
>>12652354
Some people are just in front of two very bad decisions. Being a hon as an AGP will rarely be good, or better than being just a guy. And it can also cost you your friend, family, job security etc. It's not just a button to press or whatever.
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>>12656713
Look, many people here aren't lucky enough to have good chances to pass well. Even if I had 70% of passing and 30% of becoming a hon, I wouldn't risk it. Life as a hon is just horrible. Also I don't have money, I'm poor as dirt
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It's pretty hot as an AGP that I look decent enough to the point I could make slutty cosplays and get paid for it, at least some chump change.

Reads like the usual trap doujinshi,
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Anyone else here agp and glad they're masc and tall physically? I mean I'd rather be cute and all, but since my genes basically prevent me from ever passing I feel like it removes a big thorn from my side, the question wether to transition etc.
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>>12657115
Thanks. I sometimes feel that I've won some kind of lottery with her. She's beyond what I imagined. In, my previous relationships I've always had to hide it, or had it erode the respect of my partner.
Yesterday, after a shopping trip for more female clothing, I sat on the couch (totally done up) and asked her if she'd how she would prefer me to be.

Her reply: "Happy."
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>>12662539
I'm 5'6" and I've passed in the past when I actually go out dressed up.
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>>12662705
5"6 is pretty damn small. I'm 6"2, had a very very strong puberty, and even at 14 when I got make up and female clothes on and everything I looked like the uncanny valley.
The game was rigged from the start.
>>
Where do agps find domme mommys?
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>>12662539
6'3 anon who posted previously here. While I think I can function in day to day society as a man, the desire to be girly remains. It's unlikely we'll ever look good as femboys, never mind as women. I've been called "handsome" by different people, but it kind of hurts to know that I'll never be called "pretty" or referred to as "she". I'm scared of even adopting more feminine mannerisms openly (despite being quite effeminate deep down) because I'm scared that it'll give off an uncanny valley effect with my masculine voice.

Above all else, I'm terrified that these feelings will eventually spiral into genuine strong dysphoria, which will force me to transition, thereby screwing up my life.

Discovering my AGP has been scary anon, and I'm at a loss for what to do.
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>>12663333
Nice quads!
What you're saying really resonates with me, i'm really the same. I'm rarely getting called handsome because muh acne, but when I am, or when I'm told i'm tall/taller, or that my feet are gargantuan, it feels conflicting. It makes me sad that I'm so masc and that I'm not called cute etc instead, but at the same time a bit proud I guess. I try not to be effeminate or faggy either.
I don't think agp really becomes true dysphoria. I have seen plenty of agp guys who are completely ok and in their 30's or 40's. It's just a paraphilia. The only bad things it can cause are depersonalization, lack of motivation, and sadness if you let it consume you etc.
What you should do, IMO, is to take it easy and just use escapism etc, like I do.
Btw it's always really great to see a fellow agp guys with such a similar experience!
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>>12663382
>escapism
This seems to work for me for a little while, as does school work, but there's always that little voice in the back of my head that says how great things would be if I were a girl. I also like being referred to as a woman, although I feel unworthy of it because of my masc appearance.

I think a lot of my AGP comes down to me envying female friendships. I generally prefer being around women than men, but I've never had a long term friendship with a girl-- There's only been short term friendships with them. I wonder if getting a female best friend or even a girlfriend would make my AGP better or worse. This whole thing started for me when someone suggested that a might be an egg because I said that I really like women and that I kind of wanted to be one myself. I would have brushed it off if the experiences of eggs and AGPs weren't so relatable to me.
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>>12639374
Can we admit that the vast majority of self-proclaimed mtfs are actually just agps in denial and 80%+ of the people who are transitioning now are going to regret it immeasurably

I also hate the meme trans twitter pushes that traps/etc are just 'repressed trans' as a way to justify their pill pushing.
Trans activists are fucking retarded which is why they dogpile and attack reasonable people like blanchard. They operate as a hivemind which is why they're threatened by the prospect that agp exists
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>>12663423
>This seems to work for me for a little while, as does school work, but there's always that little voice in the back of my head that says how great things would be if I were a girl.
Same. It prompted me to reallly depersonalize and daydream about it everyday, which was bad. I'm better now.
>I also like being referred to as a woman, although I feel unworthy of it because of my masc appearance
Yep, I both make me feel good and turns me on.
>I think a lot of my AGP comes down to me envying female friendships. I generally prefer being around women than men, but I've never had a long term friendship with a girl-
I've been envying it too. It seems quite genuine and pure, at least in my imagination. Might partly come from my love for female friendship animes. Also, female love. But I don't think it's impossible to reach such as a guy, also I think we really idealize it. I had plenty of female friends in elementary school, but I haven't have had any ever since. In fact, I haven't talked to one in 5 years (besides my grandmother and cashiers).
>I wonder if getting a female best friend or even a girlfriend would make my AGP better or worse
Depends how they treat you. If your gf rellies on you and stresses the male stuff she wants in you then probably worst. If it's the opposite, then surely better. Same with friends.
>This whole thing started for me when someone suggested that a might be an egg because I said that I really like women and that I kind of wanted to be one myself.
Yes, really typical. Egg stuff is basically agp magnet. You shouldn't be too stressed with being an agp, but I know it's hard not to. Pretty much 100% of the egg stuff resonates with me, it's really agp, remembers that it comes from reddit, it wasn't made by doctors, it's agp trannies proselytizing.
My advice is to do like me, try to repersinalize etc if you are depersonalized, indulge in escapism and try to make your male life as good as possible.
>>
>tfw the most rewarding aspect of agp has been the laughs i get seeing myself in girl mode
>>
I think I might just grow my hair super long and crossdress to cope. I don't deserve to actually transition or take HRT. It's just a disgusting fetish that formed way too young and fucked my life.
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>>12663436
This is also why I'm scared of transitioning. There's no way I want to do something I might regret later when I already have certain privileges as a man anyway. Hons generally don't have any social privileges.

>>12663537
I'm already doing the best I can as a man. What I'm trying to do is to also be the best friend to women in my life as I possibly can be so I can get a taste of female platonic intimacy and socialisation. I'm also hoping I'll find a gf who will be willing to let me crossdress and maybe even help me out on that front. I suppose the biggest difficulty I face is that I love women very strongly and I have a hard time not viewing them as goddesses. I just want to be some girl's cute wife so I can care and provide for them.
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>>12663673
Rigtht, at least you have a goal, that's great!
Indeed, that's a noble goal. Much better than being a passive agressive hon transbian. Personally I am bi, maybe getting a bf or gf would help me, but each time i get close to someone they start annoying me. I have to find a goal tho!
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>>12663623
I know how you feel. I started transitioning a few months ago, and I really don't know if I can continue. I know that I need to if I want to survive or live any sort of satisfying life, but I know it's all from a fetish so I don't deserve it. Besides, it's my fault that I even have the fetish anyway. It was caused by things that were done to me when I was younger, and I didn't even try to stop them.
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>>12663685
I'm going to be honest that I occasionally question if I'm bi, since I think some femboys look extremely cute and I could see myself hugging and kissing them, but at the same time, I could never see myself having sex with a man, so I think I'm just attracted to femininity.

I also have this love-hate relationship with masculinity, in the sense that I have masculine hobbies and like some manly fiction, but I hate everything else about masculinity. It's led me to think of myself as a lesbian stuck in a man's body.
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>>12663709
Shit didn't even happen to me to have it. I just randomly one night got super excited and happy from imagining myself transforming into a girl and doing girl related stuff at like 7 and it became an obsession that I've never been able to let go. Just snowballed into making me hate my whole body and face just because of a stupid fetish I'm obsessed with.
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>>12662539
Yeah, same here, super tall and very brutish looking. It's helped with coming to terms with things. Honestly I think I'm more on the AGP / femboy side than actually trans, but it's not like it would matter anyway. On top of this, there are people who actually wanted it more than me, people who couldn't stand living as a man, went through a hellish transition, and STILL wonder if it's worth it. A lot of people would be extremely happy to have the body that I have, so at least I can be grateful.
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>>12663711
>I'm going to be honest that I occasionally question if I'm bi, since I think some femboys look extremely cute and I could see myself hugging and kissing them, but at the same time, I could never see myself having sex with a man, so I think I'm just attracted to femininity.
I see, sounds like the regular str8 guy. Liking femboys isn't gay or bi IMO as they look like women.
>>12663711
>I also have this love-hate relationship with masculinity, in the sense that I have masculine hobbies and like some manly fiction, but I hate everything else about masculinity. It's led me to think of myself as a lesbian stuck in a man's body.
I can totally understand and relate. I dislike many of the male features of my body above all else. Overall, I believe there is a good masculinity and a bad one. Being helpful, compassionate, courageous, understanding etc, all of these can be masculine. But there also are shitty features of masculinity. I hate 99% of the males I see everyday. Loud, agressive, disgracious etc. I want to take the best things of masculinity and apply them to me, maybe the best things of feminity too. In fact i believe they overlap.
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>>12655821
Not sure yet. I figured I'd wind up going to a Walmart or Goodwill to find a few things.
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>>12663746
That's exactly what I aspire to be as well. I said this in the last thread, but I think I'm becoming a bit of a misandrist because of how common the shitty aspects of masculinity are. I admire men who have the positive qualities of masculinity, but most men aren't like that at all. I think the positive qualities of femininity are a bit more widespread by comparison.

I think that's part of the reason I don't think of myself as a man deep down. I'm either just an individual, or I'm a repressed woman depending on the context. Most men these days give men a bad name, so I feel ashamed to call myself a man.
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>>12663799
I'd say my discontent with being a man comes from three fronts.
First is typical agp, i'm not much into sex or antyhing as a guy while doing it as a woman, even just larping etc, turns me on a lot
Second is my distate for males and masculinity including my own face and body
third is my love for women and how i put them in a pedestal, i've come to see being a man as worthless, so i long for female love like yuri stuff, as well as stuff like girl with guns as a /k/ enthusiast
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>>12662538
look at their thin, man-hair fucking repulsive
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>>12663869
Exactly the same here, although I think my face and body are acceptable, albeit not good (I have a feminine hourglass waist, so I'm happy with that). It's my body hair and the speed at which it grows that annoys me.

The more I think about what men are today, the more I think that they're disgusting. If I was to surround myself with women and never interact with men again, I'd be happy. Yet I feel bad for saying that, because some of my closest friends are male.

Being a male misandrist is a strange paradox, and it seems to be open to all sorts of accusations from being a called a "cuck" to being accused of being a white knight. I just want to be a girl's friend in the same way her girl friends are friends with her. I want a relationship with another girl where I can take on the role of the wife. My experience of being around girls is that they're so much more chill than men, so I just want to be one of them. Sometimes the thought of being stuck as a man gets me emotional, but that makes me scared I might have dysphoria. Being a man is so annoying sometimes.
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>>12661143
>Imagine being a cis girl with AGP. That would be a fucking dream.
Yes. I'd give anything...
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>>12663964
>Exactly the same here, although I think my face and body are acceptable, albeit not good (I have a feminine hourglass waist, so I'm happy with that). It's my body hair and the speed at which it grows that annoys me
Personally i'm ok with my chest etc even tho it's masculine, what annoys me are my gigantic feet, thick body hair and my damn face, it's so masculine, ugly, full of acne and scars. Also big nose and chad jaw.
>The more I think about what men are today, the more I think that they're disgusting. If I was to surround myself with women and never interact with men again, I'd be happy. Yet I feel bad for saying that, because some of my closest friends are male.
Kind of agreed. But I do believe there are worthy males out there. I mean, I consider myself to be one, kinda, so there is no reason for there to be more. Also I don't really know if my love for women isn't just delusion, I mean I really don't know any woman.
I just think we are aware of the flaws of men and in many ways different from most of them. It's normal disliking being someone who's part of a group you hate.
But you can have the more «wife» role with a girl as a man without transitioning. In fact it might be a lot easier. Transbians hons never ever get gfs. «het» hons can because they can get chasers and guys would fuck anything, but not transbians
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>>12663999
You're absolutely right about transitioning not giving results, which is why I don't plan on transitioning.

The problem with being male though, is that you have to bare the consequences of a patriarchal upbringing. Men just aren't taught at a young age how to interact with girls properly, so I've had to learn that on my own. I can talk to girls easily now, and I've had some tell me some of their intimate secrets because I've been so approachable to them, but I can't help but feel that I've been cheated out of long lasting female friendships because I was dumb enough to buy the "hanging out with girls is gay" shit I heard from male peers as a kid.

There's also the fact that 98% of men don't give a damn about women as people and only see them as a walking fleshlight. This is one of the most repulsive things about men to me. The fact that it takes guys like you and me (who are probably mentally female anyway) to see this does not paint a good image for men. This also means that women are constantly on their guard around men, which makes it harder for men like us who genuinely want to befriend them because we have to walk on eggshells in case what we say gets taken the wrong way.

I don't want to hate men because I know some good ones, but the shitty majority make hating men very easy. This is why I'm upset that I'm not a cis girl.
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>>12663981
I’m sure that some kind of do. I’ve met some girls that just seem really happy about being girls. Like they absolutely revel in their femininity.
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>>12663764
So not an actual fashion store?
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>>12664711
I'd like to talk to a cis girl who loves being a girl. Compare AGP, so to speak.
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>>12664123
>tfw hate cis women
>tfw intensely jealous of them
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>>12665159
A fashion store would be nice, but I'm way too ugly to go to one.
>tfw tempted to pay a crossdressing service that's an hour or two away to give me a makeover and take me out on the town
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>>12661997
who?
post
>>
I like women's bodies.

I LOVE twinky (not masc) men's bodies. Like ecstatic, overwhelming lust for that kind of male body. Meta-attraction is stupid. Are you going to try and tell me I'm meta-attracted after seeing how beside myself I get over a pretty male body?
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>>12668229
You don't have to be str8 to be agp. I'm barely attracted to women at all. In fact, I'm barely attracted to men too.
Early onset agp destroys most, if not all, of your potential sexuality as a guy. Never had a boner to anything non-agp. Which means it's an exclusive paraphilia, I can't get off to anything without it. Which sucks, considering I'm a man, it means I'm stuck masturbating forever. Still, I have a faint hope of finding my sexuality that was stolen by dysphoria, along the way.
>>
Anyone have any experience with Emerald Fantasy up in Seattle? I'm tempted to treat myself the next time I go on vacation.
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>>12668229
>I LOVE twinky (not masc)
If you can't figure out for yourself why a gynephile might have eyes for a male who embodies feminine qualities, then the subject of sexology might be too advanced for you. You're a man with a very typical heterosexual psychology that has a fixation on GAMs. This is all too common these days. Look at data on porn. While your attraction if acted on is technically homosexual, the sexual motivation behind it is based on a heterosexual substructure. Your psychology has nothing in common with *real* gay men.
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>>12668429
>Early onset agp destroys most, if not all, of your potential sexuality as a guy. Never had a boner to anything non-agp.
i love being agp and the thought of having male sexuality sickens me
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>>12670284
What would be the benefit of those services over just doing DIY crossdressing?
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>>12674134
it's like a quick and fast way to get some glamour photos
diy cd is a life long pursuit, where you'll appreciate the progress
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>>12674134
I don't have a ton of experience and I've never actually crossdressed in front of other people before. I think it would help to have someone help me be more comfortable and also to share some tips/tricks on how I can do a better job.
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Anyone else agp but has absolutely no interest in crossdressing? It might be because my body and face are masculine, so it would change nothing.
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>>12639419
Me. It's become obvious this past year that it was just some kind of extreme fetish that I was being encouraged to be public about. Now I think too much damage has been done and for the first time ever I'm considering suicide.
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>>12675825
Somewhere in between. Sometimes im disgusted but most of the time it's just the inconvenience, wish there was a way to incorporate it into everyday life.
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I think I might be AGP
I'm nearly 1 whole year into HRT and still boymoding but whenever someone discusses me girlmoding finally or uses the name I chose IRL i get turned on slightly for whatever reason I have no clue

Is it AGP?
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>>12676163
Yes, that is AGP.
>>12675845
So you regret transitioning?
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>>12676194
>Yes, that is AGP.
But I dont get off on being female or anything like that and never have, how can I be actually AGP?
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>>12676142
Is there a way you can subtly make yourself look more fem when you have a masc appearance?

I want to look more effeminate, but I don't want to look ridiculous either. There's got to be some way it can be done, right?
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>>12670419
I still want the type of male I'm attracted to to BE the male in my fantasies, though, i.e., to initiate sex and make me feel smol and protected. I just prefer them to not look the part...
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>>12676677
i tried it and came to the conclusion that i get better feedback when i just tell people that im bi-sexual with a crossdressing fetish.

all the time when i tried to go the trans-way dress up be feminine i only got feedback from turbo-weirdos because i probably looked like one.
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>>12676931
But is there anyway to do it subtly, without going full fem?

Surely a small amount of make up or some jewellery would be enough so people wouldn't notice.
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>>12676949
Yes sure, it also depends where you live and where you go.

For example Germany/Netherlands there are a lot of clubs for a lot of different people, you can go to a club where you can basically be naked or dress in a weddingdress.
for sure you would look more feminine in a weddingdress.
but you can´t complain afterwards that no "normal" cute boy comes to you and speaks to you.

if you want to go to a regular club, and find a regular boy you will have to be lucky.
because they
a) often are just gay and look for other ( normal ) gays
b) most of the time online-dating

if you just want to do it for yourself , i basically doesn´t matter, go with what you like and try to be feminine

of course your country has to be somewhat in the 1st world, in africa they might kill you
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>>12676977
I'm mostly just doing it for myself. I'm into girls anyway, so I don't care what guys think of me. I've been thinking of trying my luck with bi girls to see if it yields any results on the AGP front.
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>>12677048
yeah then probably go for accessoires, a nice haircut some of these skinny jeans and try to go to a these "beauty" places where they do your eyebrows and watch some youtube videos for slight eye makeup.
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>>12676677
Just do the long hair and earrings look. The worst you can get is the "hippie rockstar" comments.
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>>12665505
We want to talk with/associate with you the same way a black person would want to chill with Rachel Dolezal, which is to say not at all.
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>>12676163
>I'm nearly 1 whole year into HRT and still boymoding
This is enough to know you're AGP. Boymode HRT shows that a tranny is transitioning for herself, i.e. AGP, not external reasons.

>>12676206
AGP is different for every AGP. Some AGPs don't even imagine having a female body and just like girl clothes. You're a girl in your fantasies, right? That's AGP, just like getting turned on by the girl things you mentioned last post.
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>>12677584
>You're a girl in your fantasies, right?
Most AGPs have done this before, or started out imagining themselves as anatomical girls. But there are also AGPs that get off to simply being viewed and admired in a feminine/submissive way. AGP is a spectrum that ranges from pure female anatomy-AGP to femboy-AGP, with imagining yourself as a cute trap being in the middle. The defining marker seems to he this: Autosexuality involving yourself as a having dainty, cute, neotenous qualities that make you worthy of penetration.
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>when agp is your primary sexuality and youre not even into women or men
>no meta attraction either
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>>12677630
i don't fantasize about sex w guy, nor do i need them to validate anything. i would like to go on fun dates and get outside. and doing it w guy is better because it's safer and they are generally more athletic.

t agp trap
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>>12677854
Pretty common, it seems. It sucks so much. I hate not even being attracted to anyone outside of "i wish I could be fucked as a woman". Doesn't help with the motivation to do anything either. I'll just remain celibate forever.
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>>12677854
>youre not even into women or men
You're into woman.
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>81 posters
damn
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>>12677579
Didn't she run a POC club?
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>>12677630
Some non-transitioning AGPs are mostly transvestic and just into the clothes. Sissy fantasies for example. Although of course lots of sissies have anatomic AGP and similar too and do want to be girls/femboys.

But that anon is on HRT so she probably has anatomic AGP.
>>
How do I stop myself from obsessively thinking that hrt will be the answer to my problems one minute then being disgusted and shameful the next minute from thinking about taking hrt cause I'm just a filthy agp.

>>12678052
I really wish I could curb my dysphoria from just crossdressing. Wearing woman's clothes just makes me ultra depressed that I'm stuck with a revolting male body/skeleton.
>>
>>12674134
>>12675674
It's a good way to share your expression with other people, and not in an exhibitionist way because they're all AGP too. They might also be able to get in to your mind and help you figure out why you like what you like.
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>>12678078
>>12678078
I'm exactly the same. It sucks. Also early onset, so I don't even have an actual sexuality outside of fucking agp. It sucks so much.
I can't help myself but being jealous of transitionners etc.
But at the same time, I see myself as male, as much as I daydream etc. I'm over 6 feet tall in a very very conservative family (dad said he would never disinherit me unless I become a tranny), I have a male body and a relatively masculine face, etc etc. I'd be a hon, without a doubt. Trying to transition is not the answer, it would be a dead sentence. But I can't help but envy them.
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>>12678112
Yeah early onset too. Earliest I can remember being extremely happy and excited about being female/turned into a female is at 7. Kind of just snowballed from there and never went away.
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>>12678119
Yep. Early onset sucks. I have no idea what one can do to alleviate it. Of course there is the "muh you should transition", but that's not an answer unless you have the right genes etc, or accept to become a a homeless, socially dead dead hon.
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>>12678138
I'm going to see a psychiatrist in like 6 days after going to multiple fucking useless psychologists who just want you to do CBT or other useless fucking charts. If they straight up tell me hrt will vastly improve my state of mind and help me actually move forward in life I'll do it. If not I'm not sure what the fuck is the answer. In a perfect world I'd be the same person I am now just with a female body. Unfortunately that's fucking impossible and always will be.
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>>12678171
>If they straight up tell me hrt will vastly improve my state of mind and help me actually move forward in life I'll do it
Honestly, I don't think I could ever talk about that with a psychiatrist, that'd be terribly embarassing. I'd also be afraid of what they tell me. I've been put on plenty of different drugs as a kid by psychiatrists, so I don't really trust them. I know I'd never take hrt, because either way i'll look like a hon, I have basically no hope of passing. I could boymode but I feel like having a weird body with male bone structure and face but cone boobs etc would make me feel even worse.
>In a perfect world I'd be the same person I am now just with a female body. Unfortunately that's fucking impossible and always will be.
Indeed. Since it's impossible we have to cope with it somehow. But I don't know how. I have no idea.
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I see all this talk of eggs but I dont get it, what is an egg??
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>the blanchshit hive
disgusting

kys blanchshits subhumans trash
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>>12678221
Cone boobs are better than no boobs. This is basically a last ditch effort thing for me. I'm at the point where I either do this for real or I give it all up and just live the rest of my life as a kissless virgin that will always hate being a man and will never be able to be close to anyone due to my own disgust of my entire body and self.
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>>12678230
That's how trans people call trans people who haven't realized they are trans yet. Generally used by agp on other agp (very reddit-ish). Always pisses me off being called an egg, as a repressor, like I haven't figured it out already.
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That's basically what's going to happen to me. I cannot transition, I can't do that to myself. If you can and have a chance of passing then try it I guess.
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>>12677579
Yeah women are no better than black people
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>>12678234
>life as a kissless virgin
you really should fix your life before moving forward. try dating guy/girl and having someone that likes you will make a world of a difference
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>>12679087
I can't really get into the dating scene if even after losing 120lbs and doing a lot of self improvement I still hate everything about myself. In my head I can't imagine the type of person that would want to date an ugly massive fuckup with tons of baggage and issues like me. They can just find someone that isn't a broken mess and be happy. As I am now I don't deserve any kind of relationship.
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Can agps have their own rl crossdressing club?
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>>12679109
and so jumping on the tranny train is going to make life better?
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>>12679614
I never said I was going to transition. I could just lobotomize myself with SSRIs so I feel nothing. Or just jump off a bridge and save my family the trouble. When you try every possible avenue to try and better yourself to try and beat the dysphoria and nothing works still you get a bit desperate. I want to be happy as a man and normal like everyone else more than anything but my retarded autistic brain won't let me.
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That’s a pretty admirable amount of self awareness in this thread. I think somebody should show the terfs who pathologise us all as opportunistic, unknowing fetishists.
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>>12681070
The problem TERFs seem to have is that they all seem to believe that all AGPs want to exploit and threaten women in some way. That isn't true.

Some AGP (like myself) just want to experience female socialisation, others do it for the feminine aesthetic. There are so many different reasons why one can be AGP.
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>>12681286
I wish I could just live as a normal cis girl. But terfs don't want me to have that even if I could get it. Just wanting it makes me a threat in their eyes.
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>>12681426
We all do sis, we all do.

We have to wonder how much of our current personality comes from our masculine upbringing though. Would we be the same people if we were raised as cis girls?

Seems like our only solution at this stage is to establish close relationships with women and then live through them to an extent.
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>>12681496
Ideally I wish I had been born female, but the best I can do now without larping is to change my presentation to be as close as possible to what it might have been, and to let my personality develop unrepressed from here on out. I doubt I'll ever have a close friendship with a cis female just due to the severe lack of common experience, but my AGP is focused entirely on my own presentation, so that's fine by me.
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>>12678104
>They might also be able to get in to your mind and help you figure out why you like what you like.
desu this would be so nice to have someone to help me work through my shit while helping me be the best woman I can be.
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>>12681496
>We have to wonder how much of our current personality comes from our masculine upbringing though. Would we be the same people if we were raised as cis girls?
How can we know? I'd love if there was some way to speculate. I read stories with cis female protagonists and listen to real anecdotes from girls, to try and get an idea of what that upbringing and life is like.
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>>12641031
kek
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>>12642477
repression gf is a thing
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>>12662494
If being a hon is so bad, then why are there so many of them? It's because they've all realized it's better to be true to themselves rather than living just for other peoples' expectations
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>>12683082
No, it's because they are delusional old men. 90% of hons you see are totally delusional, you'll realize when you talk to one. No one rational would chose to go for that. Also it's not their «true self». Our true self is male, but we want to be the opposite sex, that's all. Being a hon is hell if you are a little bit self aware.
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>>12682914
I do this too. Female protagonists can be so much more interesting and enjoyable than male protagonists if done correctly. Based on the kind of struggles unique to cis girls that they have to go through (fear of rape, guys hitting on you nonstop etc.) I think I could handle those problems with my present mindset. The question remains though as to whether or not my present mindset would have developed at all if I was a cis girl. I like the idea of being a cis girl, but I also dislike the idea of having a different personality.

One different thing I would like though is that I'd probably have more close female friends, which is good because I prefer talking to women. God, I'd love to have lots of female friends.
>>
Why are all agps weebs
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>>12684189
Anime is a good cope generally. Plenty of female characters to self insert in, in a very idealized way like us agp generally like. And you feel ok about really self inserting because there are no true woman behind the cataracter
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I don’t particularly relate to the eulogising of the female social experience here. My AGP is sexual with bad physical dysphoria. Social I and give or take. I don’t really get along with very masculine men or very feminine women, I like people in the middle.
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>>12685354
>. I don’t really get along with very masculine men or very feminine women, I like people in the middle.
Same . But my depression and social anxiety has made me alone and there is no end in sight
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>>12685367
Weirdly since his got really bad for me I think my social anxiety has lessened. I feel like shit all the time but it’s focused on social situations like it used to be. I’ve done some shit in the last years that I couldn’t have conceived doing before.
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>>12676677
I sometimes stealth colour my nails
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I feel like most people are enjoying the contemporary sexual revolution and freedom. Except us aware AGPs, we’re stuck in the gutter of shame
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can FTMs be AGP or no?
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>>12687520
Indeed. My mind can't help but desire stuff like picrel.
Issue is that it's not very acceptable since it's basically pushing your paraphilia on the others. The feelings can't lie. If i had any other paraphilia (except stuff like zoophilia, pedophilia etc) I would indulge in them, but as much as I want it sexually and spiritually, I just can't get myself to become a tranny. I can't.
I'll just use escapism and self insert, agp porn etc to allievate my agp, ad vitam eternam. I think it's the more reasonable choice, except for someone who lives in a very progressive area, has high chances of passing/ having satisfying results etc.
>>
What is the desired feeling from someone with AGP trying to achieve in practicing femininity?
Is being a pretend girl satisfactory or just a passing fetish to be executed when all other kinks have been exhausted?

No judgment, I'm a curious bisexual lady who reads too much gender bending hentai on /d/.
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>>12687679
Mine is best described as a ubiquitous and distressing desire to be sartorially feminine and sexually submissive. We’re all different though.
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>>12683737
>Female protagonists can be so much more interesting and enjoyable than male protagonists if done correctly. Based on the kind of struggles unique to cis girls that they have to go through (fear of rape, guys hitting on you nonstop etc.)
I'm always left unsatisfied, feeling a sense of incompleteness from any description of cis female life. That it's too superficial or is missing something or that there are parts a female author, or any woman I talk to about her life, simply doesn't realize someone raised a boy won't know.

>The question remains though as to whether or not my present mindset would have developed at all if I was a cis girl. I like the idea of being a cis girl, but I also dislike the idea of having a different personality.
I feel the better I can imagine female life, the more I can imagine how I'd feel having that experience. So every little bit I learn seems to reconcile my attachment to my personality as it is with my longing to be that person I would have been if I'd got to be a girl.

I guess that's what transition is too, in a more social and physical way, trying to bring the reality and the desire together so that they can be one together. Perhaps an analogy to the way cis people see marriage as a union? My agp union emotionally and psychologically becoming one with that vague and ever changing girl in my mind.

>>12687679
Does my post go any way to answer you? It's not just a passing fetish. The best way I can describe it is as a need to be the girl, a feeling of longing and desperation for femininity, and dissatisfaction whenever I notice maleness in myself.

What does a cis lady enjoy in gender bender?
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>>12687679
I'd say it's two faced. There is the sexual side, which is obvious, and the other side, which is harder to explain. Like a completion, or something? These feelings are derived from the sexual part of AGP itself. Not every agp feel them tho
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IS BEING JOHN MALKOVICH AN AGP MOVIE Y/N
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>>12687856
I'd say yes.
I also hated that movie.
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>>12687873
IM WATCHING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I THINK THATS WHY I LIKE IT
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>>12687778
Sounds kind of campy but I can see the relation of femininity and being sexually submissive.

>>12687797
Yeah, your answer is sufficient. Not that I found personally that femininity to be something to regale over. Although that may have to do with my tomboyishness.

>What does a cis lady enjoy in gender bender?
It's really how interesting the female experience is perceived by mangaka/otaku. I'm fascinated that there's men out there who would like to be in the position I'm in. (Relatively attractive female with otaku interest)
My perspective of femininity is pretty negative but seeing how it's something people crave makes me appreciate it.
Also, gender bending in manga and doujins is cute and kind of vanilla.
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>>12687679
I have other kinks, and AGP isn't the one that gets me off the most, but for me I think femininity is just superior to masculinity. To me, AGP isn't about the clothes or anything like that, it's being recognised as a woman.

Since you're a woman yourself, you might not feel the same way about what I'm about to say, but from my own perspective it seems as though living life as a cis girl is preferable. I envy female friendships, I prefer hanging out with women rather than men and I feel as though my own personality is more feminine than masculine. Basically, I feel like a woman in a man's body, so any positive affirmation of my feminine characteristics is somewhat arousing to me.
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>>12687924
>Not that I found personally that femininity to be something to regale over. Although that may have to do with my tomboyishness.
How tomboyish are you and how do you feel about femininity yourself, for you and for girls you're into? What do you appreciate in it after reading agps talking?

I think most agps mean "femininity" in a very broad sense. While some are into heels and lipstick and a general bimbo aesthetic, others like me aren't. In fact I find the parts of female socialization that are still experienced by tomboys especially interesting, because it's presumably that much closer to what my life would have been like if I'd been born female. Plus the appeal of forced feminization, which can work for tomboys just like it can for boys in one of the most common agp fantasies.

>It's really how interesting the female experience is perceived by mangaka/otaku. I'm fascinated that there's men out there who would like to be in the position I'm in. (Relatively attractive female with otaku interest)
What do you think about that otaku-interested female experience, and about men, transgirls, etc being so interested in it?

>Also, gender bending in manga and doujins is cute and kind of vanilla.
It's amazing how vanilla agp fantasies can be. Just a female experience, with some sexual connection, can be an incredibly hot fantasy. Things like dressing or undressing. I feel weirdly pervy asking cis girls about details like these, even though online it might be a nice change from guys wanting to sext.

>>12688001
>I have other kinks, and AGP isn't the one that gets me off the most
What gets you off more than agp? I have lots of kinks but agp is a constant. The others either stem from agp or are extra kinks for alongside something agp.
>>
I thought of another explanation for what agp feels like. Imagine the joy of being loved and being cuddled by your partner, in contented bliss together. I can imagine the same feeling but for me part of it is being a girl too, as well as being cuddled and loved and kissed. Being female is part of that big bundle of emotion and happiness.
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>>12688053
>How tomboyish are you and how do you feel about femininity yourself, for you and for girls you're into?
Grew up with all brothers, had mostly male friends in my preteen to teenage years. Moderate tomboy, I'd say. Nothing I do is anything I'm uncomfortable about.
It is noticeable when I do try to exude my femininity and I get more attention then I like from it. Its enough to push me back into my comfort zone, only to experiment with make-up and clothes again once again.
I've been hit on and attracted to a certain type of cool as hell art hoe. I like a strong female personality that can keep up with mentally. I've met a few bitches before that I could chill with but I'm not poly. Neither is my partner. Just bad luck. A man got to me first.

>What do you appreciate in it after reading agps talking?
I guess how you want to understand women so indepthly. Its not an easy world to pass in and I even find problems with being apart of a woman's world.
It also makes me like masculinity in a way that feels polarizing but exciting. A masculine man has so many benefits. (Strength, attractive pointy features, deep voice, interesting aromas.)

I feel like I'll always enjoy reading gender bend hentai for what the protag wants to achieve in their feminine pursuit. Its also so much cleaner and cuter than the kind of irl transitions I've seen.
>>
I came across this 1974 paper that describes a "primary transsexual" type that matches my experience much more accurately than just AGP. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.1974.28.1.4
>Abstract: Primary transsexuals are schizoid obsessive, socially withdrawn, asexual, unassertive, and out of touch with anger. Underlying this personality, they have a typical borderline syndrome characterized by separation anxiety, empty depression, sense of void, oral dependency, defective selfidentity, and impaired object relations with absence of trust and fear of intimacy. The authors' opinion, they most resemble a subgroup of the borderline syndrome which Grinker calls 'the adaptive, affectless, defended, 'as if' persons'. Unlike other borderline patients, however, primary transsexuals are distinguished by severe impairment of both core gender identity and of gender role identity from earliest childhood.
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>>12688300
This fits early onset AGPs pretty well.
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>>12688053
AGP is honestly the most recently awakened of my kinks, so I doubt it had much influence on my other ones. I only realised that I was AGP about 5 months ago, although I've always had on and off thoughts about how great it would be to be a girl throughout my life. I'm still trying to mentally sort all this shit out as a result.

>>12688159
Some AGP want to be tomboys, so it's funny you mention that. Not every AGP wants to be an overly feminine woman.

In my case, it's actually an ideal partner who I'd want to be tomboyish. I'm attracted to androgyny for some reason, so I see my ideal partner as a tomboyish girl who I can be a submissive wife to. I'd want my female self to be feminine though, which is part of the reason I feel insecure about some of the masculine traits I currently have.
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>>12688314
I understand that you may feel insecure about your masculine traits as I feel insecure about my feminine ones. I assure you that you being yourself is nothing to feel ashamed of.
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>>12688300
This describes me almost to a t. Eerie.
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>>12687605
I've seen this image 20 times and only now just noticed the tranner under the bed
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>>12688771
>tfw you realize there are actually five tranners
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>>12687679
The underlying canvas on which my sexuality makes more sense.
>>
New thread!
>>12691598
>>12691598



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