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First Edition of 2019

What kind of repressor are you?
>all trannies are mentally ill (the Curehon repression)
>I'd transition if I could pass but I'll just live vicariously through my gf (the future hon repression)
>I wish I was trans so I could transition (the egg repression)
>something else (???)
>>
I kind of wish I was a girl, but am pretty sure it just comes from my depression and depersonalization, and don't feel that transitioning is good at all for me, especially in that it jeopardizes my entire social constellation.
>>
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>>11532162
So, why are you not giving boymode HRT a shot?
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>>11532559
HRT isn't cost-free or risk-free
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>>11532597
Cypro and patches, which is pretty mid-high tier HRT, only costs me £500 a year, I'm a poor student and I managed to afford it

The part is massively overstated. Ciswomen are not dying left and right. Breast cancer is a risk but most cis women have far more developed breasts than the average mid-late transitioner.

And this speaks nothing of the beenfits. I feel so much better since going on HRT, I'm still in boymode but it feels like I'm slowly uncovering a new side of myself. I don't think I'll ever pass, but I'm still excited to see where this will lead, one thing is for sure, I no longer feel like killing myself everyday.
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>>11532162
Because family.
I'm guessing 1/10 of this board has never changed a diaper, most are barely out of them, and a few (sigh) are back in them.

It's unfair to them and their effort to harm them.
>>
>>11532622
>only costs me £500 a year,
>only

>Ciswomen are not dying left and right.
Cis women aren't taking liver-damaging blood clot causing pills.

>most cis women have far more developed breasts than the average mid-late transitioner.
So they actually have something to show for their breast cancer risk

And cancer is a big cause of death
>>
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Feels good not going to hell anymore.
>>
I'm a repressor that regrets not transitioning years ago, I would have put any money I could into hrt if I knew about selfmedding.
Right now, I'm worried I will lose £300 on a wire transfer if I do it wrong but I know that hrt won't help much now.
>>
>>11532162
>boymoding (self-harm repression)

>>11532711
it's a trade off cancer-wise, the elevated stroke/dvt risk is real but if you're young and don't have risk factors it's whatever
>>
>>11532740
hrt hasn't effected my passability at all (eternal boymoder) but the effects I've gained and losing the stress of feeling like it's only getting worse have made me happier than I could've thought
>>
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AGP, nothing more nothing less
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>>11532162
>>all trannies are mentally ill (the Curehon repression)

>if I hate myself I'm less of a tranny
the worst kind of repressor tbhon
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>>11532622
>>11532740
>>11532805
>3 repressors have reported happiness by at least going on HRT
It's only going to be a matter of time before the CureHon's start showing up and yelling you girls for what a mistake you're doing, while ignoring all of the posts where the repressors are literally about to kill themselves.

/repgen/ is true top kek.

>>11532668
>muh family
have fun
>>
>>11532622
Where are you getting cypro and patches from btw?
>>
>>11532342
>but am pretty sure it just comes from my depression and depersonalization,
Being trans causes depression and depersonalization though...
>it jeopardizes my entire social constellation
How?
>>
>>11532831
tell us something new
>>
>What kind of repressor are you?
the eternal boymoder. honestly it was a great decision
hrt prevents testosterone from doing more damage and because i'm still unpassable, i no longer torture myself with thoughts like 'what if by some miracle i could actually pass' like i did before
>>
>>11532805
this, it's weird, it's like a mental barrier has been lifted from my mind, I feel more... calm, it's not even the HRT mental effects, its just that I feel less like a disgusting unclean testosterone fueled ogre, and more like someone who deserves to be loved instead.

>>11532963
unitedpharmacies. It was actually bit less than £500 because of the coupon.
>>
>>11532917
sorry you have no honor or empathy, you'll find a deep connection with another human someday, until then enjoy your leased kia and shit apartment, you earned it.
>>
Have any of you considered religion to help repress?
>>
>>11532986
>Being trans causes depression and depersonalization though...
I would be more directed, and obvious though right? My is just generalized, with no real cause or trigger. I don't have dysphoria as it is described here, and I'm fairly certain I am asexual so I don't have attraction in ways that trans people here talk about - to the self or otherwise.
>How?
My entire life would be ruined, what little friends I have would probably abandon me, and ultimately would just make my life a little more difficult. I would rather continue being depressed with a stable living situation than cast it all in the wind on a complete pipe dream that would never make me a biological female and could drive me to suicide.
>>
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>>11533108
You used to be a lot nicer a few weeks ago. Now you're getting more bitter. The path of all repressors I guess. Why would having to take care of family even prevent you from getting on HRT? It seems like you're just making excuses.
>>
How do you deal with the humiliation that comes from being a tranny?
>>
Remember boy mode hrt is optimal pray for a fem boi future
>>
>>11532162
I’m a repressing gay and have a pretend gf
Can I post here
>>
>>11533445

You can stay if you like. But your problem is pretty easy to solve. Stigma against gays is almost nothing...
>>
>>11533273
>yer getting mean
I truly apologise, recent events over here with my health have me a bit scream-and-cry-ie, will work to keep in check.

Hrt atm would kill me within a few weeks, had to stop after the last blood test. I have a very supportive group of (normal) freinds, but I agree with others on this board that hon-mode only hurts the cause. I am thankful I get to use my name, and not be softballed around like I may snap at any moment, this is enoughf for right now.
>>
sick fucked in the head AGP who hates themselves and wants to die
>>
>>11533570
*hates themselves for even trying to transition
>>
what do repressors read? outside of porn
>>
>>11533648
right now I am reading Tagore's Gitanjali and Levinas' Totality and Infinity.
>>
>>11533648

I used to read philosophy texts. Chalmers, Searle, Kripke to name a few
>>
Eternal boymodder here. I can hope for is becoming a """"femboy"""". I'd rather die than socially transition; everyone would be laughing at my huge head and size 12 feet
>>
Has anyone here have no friends because they created a fake persona?
I’m a cringy edgelord to the people I know. Bragging about gore, survivalism, etc. All my friends are macho, Jordan Peterson fans.
They always why I don’t brag about pussy.
If they actually that I watch shit like idol anime or have gd, I would kms.
I’m alone forever.
>>
>>11534201

>size 12

r u me
>>
24 years old here. Don't look too masculine, but it probably won't be enough to pass on HRT. I'll still go on it and boymode forever, just so it won't get worse.
>>
>>11533550
why not cut your balls off then
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>>11534505
awful advice from an awful internet board.
>>
>>11534201
oh hey me too
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>>11534574
no you
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>>11533648
Technical manuals, if our hero isn't a model number i'm not interested.
>>
>>11534505
>i'm sad
>lol cut your balls off

Some of us have goals in life, I gather the answer for those that have the need is injecting glycol into the scrotum, letting it wreck up the place, then going to the er for emergency surgery.
I for one like my balls, and am proud of my girl-pickle. I know i'm not TruTrans™ but after a lifetime of playing ameture pharmacist the game is preserve what little is left. I'll be very upset if I can't dance on at least 3 graves.
>>
Does anyone else sort of want their parents to discover their secret ?
>>
>>11535277
I came out to them six years ago, and they just pushed me back into the closet.
I still would've had a chance back then, not so much now.

Hope you got better parents than me.
>>
>>11535288

I want to get to a point where their approval doesn't mean anything, where I can just transition in peace as a hermit. Probably never gonna happen
>>
>>11535314
Don't bend over backwards for their approval. You'll regret it.
>>
>>11532668
If it's any family other than a wife and children then don't repress for them
>>
>>11535277
Hell no. They're still expecting kids one day and I'm not sure how I'll explain being infertile. Maybe I could manipulate my GF into cucking me and pretend not to know
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>>11532162
I got a new bed set for christmas from the family.
Pastel purple, almost a lilac colour, frills and skirting on everything, pillow even has skirting.
Currently cuddled up on my cute bed fiary lights above me, in my cute pink nightie with my kitty pillow. All things I got for Christmas from my family.
I don't have to hide or be embarrassed about how much I love all this girly stuff.
>cis female
>>
I tried quitting Gender Bender manga and look straight into mirrors once to face reality and man up.
I failed horribly without an outlet, dysphoria increased 10x.
Reality made me constantly think how I'm masculinizing more everyday.
Fuck, return to escapism before cracking.
Avoid looking directly into mirror forever.
>>
>>11536044
my mom took me to get a pedicure with her and i got holographic sparkle color.
>trans late 20s
>>
>>11536044
>I don't have to hide or be embarrassed about how much I love all this girly stuff.
>>cis female
why would you post this? ;_;
>>
>>11536044
It must be nice to have had that your whole life
It's still nice now though getting girly stuff and not needing to hide any of it. My dad is even helping me while I get srs
>>
>>11536189
>>11536213
>>11536425
Reminder that an AGP enjoys her femininity more than any cis whore ever can.
>>
>>11536487
I'm still working through internalized stigma but some day it will get to that point
>>
>>11532559
I am curious as to what kind of creature you get after extended(5+ years) boymode + repression. Even if you completely present as male, having all that E in your system would have to change you over time
>>
>>11532162
I was the first time till I found a girlfriend and now I am the second.
>>
>>11537022
Thing is you'll end up just like any other tranny, just excluding surgeries
Skin changes, fat changes, scent changes, etc.
You look weird, and I say this as someone who did hrt for a few years without transitioning. People start looking at you weird because there's something jarring about your masculine frame, masculine presentation, but awkwardly feminine soft tissue
And this excludes other changes like personality
>>
>female coworker is a petite woman with tiny hands, nice curves and got taught female manners
>she nicely paint her nails in public and i obviously can't
>all I want all day long is to steal her body
how do you cope with having female coworker, she literally ruins my mood instantly when shes anywhere near me
>>
Happy to see /repgen/ alive. Anyone else drunk and alone? Bonus points for hearing the cars blasting by leaving the bar and wondering who and how they are.
>>
>>11537296
>Drunk
No, I can't drink. It makes me nauseous.
>alone
Yes, very much so. What I wouldn't do to be normal.... I live in a small neighborhood so no cars. Night walks are comfy except the police sometimes hassle me
>>
>>11537289
I just have my day ruined, Idk if there's a way around it
>>
>>11537296
Alone always, but I don't drink that much anymore. That shit ages you hardcore, and the last thing I want to do is look more like a wrinkly old man
>>
When sadness consumes drinking is a symptom, and the needle is a vector that we all must cross.

This is /repgen/ isn't it!? What's with the lack of emotional pain tonight? Is it because it's Friday and half of the people that visit these threads are actually exploring what it would be like to be pushing 40 and knowing the ship has sailed?
Someone throw a pie!

>>11537526
Happy to hear you are happy.
>>
>>11537526
I drink, like, a lot. (It gets really bad later)
>>
I'm starting to see terminal chest hair, fuck, after shave there's still black spots. Am I soon going to be filled with hair, dysphoria getting worse.

Guys what are the best repression tools?
>>
>>11538184
>Guys what are the best repression tools?
Suicide
>>
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>tfw briefly saw an idealized female version of myself in a dream
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>>11538221
fuck off i know i'm a tranny i don't accept my birth sex i'm not brave i just wish i was a girl :(((
>>
>Tfw started hrt the day after high school graduation when I was 18.
You all could've had the same as me, unless you live in a 3rd world country you have literally no excuse not to be on hrt.
Stop repressing start living
>>
>>11538245
>t. Born in 1998
>>
>>11538245
There was fucking nothing when I was 18, if I knew about self medding then I would have done the exact same thing or even started earlier. I believed all the crap about it being dangerous and I didn't think I was going to make it.
>>
>>11532831
>implying you can't repress AGP

>>11532162
>What kind of repressor are you?
The rabbit-hole repressor.
Probably not trans, but slightly envious of femininity and female features. It's in my best interest to just jack off and go about my day. Easily gets sucked into trans forums.
>>
>>11537022
I'm curious as well, anon and I'm excited to find out as it's surely better than being on testosterone, I'll you know when I reach that milestone.
>>
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>>11538536
>The rabbit-hole repressor.
>Probably not trans, but slightly envious of femininity and female features. It's in my best interest to just jack off and go about my day. Easily gets sucked into trans forums.

This is literally the egg repressor.
>>
>>11532162
Don't what type of repressor, I could deal with the envy of not looking or allow doing certain by escapism. However, the constant thought of getting hairier, balder and rougher is causing anxiety and depression.
I have Trichotillomania and pluck my facial and body hair for hours occasionally. And constant moisturizer on skin to avoid skin change.
>>
Everytime my irrational brain gets jealous over dumb shit like having some body I'll never get, I just look in the mirror and remember how fucked I am.

I'm in this deep better finish it out, amirite?
>>
>>11538599
I would know if I was trans my dude. That's a pretty big part of a person to miss. I wouldn't be such a wishy-washy faggot if that was the case.
>>11538659
You on dutasteride or anything?
>>
>>11539109
>you could have been a cute girl but you end up pasting the same cure shit in a russian cave wall painting forum while you become more of a manbeast everyday
the ultimate state of repressor trannies
>>
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>>11536213
I'm sorry I thought I'd include fuel this time.
Also so many people calling me a fucking tranner or AGP lol.
Sorry actually just a huge girly girl.
>>
>>11538245
I know I could've, but that was six years ago.
>>
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>>11539249
>>11539109
bye bye
>>
>>11539249
>calling a cis woman a bitterhon
New low for curechan
>>
>>11539228
>I thought I'd include fuel this time.
but why?
>Also so many people calling me a fucking tranner or AGP lol.
what for?
>>
>>11539249
but it's not about becoming a girl, transitioning is just making the girl that was always you come out
>>
>>11539312
This
Only problem is when the girl can never come out hence repression. It is not possible for all girls to be girls outwardly
>>
>>11539035
Yeah, out of paranoia I take dustaride. I probably have an eating disorder too. Being 5'7 and 127 lbs still make me feel burly.
>>
>>11539319

Sadly, no cure will ever happening. No research could be funded and no scientist would ever invest time into finding one. We're stuck with this horrible disease because activists are convinced our suffering is part of our identity.
>>
>>11539312
>actually believing that were girls
ive been on HRT for a few months now and i dont even believe that
>>
>>11539723

what do you believe, Mr. Wayne?
>>
>>11539319
ahut up retarded fuck
>>
>>11539776
i just believe that im a guy who wants to be a girl
>>
>>11539872
>a guy
but that's your mistake, you need to realize that you have always been a girl. the "male" you wasn't a man, "he" was just a sad sad woman.
>>
>>11539905

false. This delusion only hurts us
>>
>>11539919
really?
i haven't been happier since starting hrt
i used to feel like shit all the time with some small moments of decentness. now im certainly happy with moments of sadness
>>
>>11532162
Is it time to go gay? I've been a closeted botton for a long time now and I really want a relationship with another man.
>>
>>11539905
i wish i could believe this but i cant
>>
>>11539935
>hrt will magically make you happy
it was hard for me to believe to, it just sounded like hon bullshit like
>you'll have periods on hrt
but i just feel so happy since starting that it's really painful to see repressors ruining their minds and bodies like this
>>
>>11539980
i just feel slightly less shitty from HRT but im a fucking hon
>>
>>11539932

hrt won't help me. but that isn't my point. I'm not a girl and never was one or will be one
>>
the agp i wish i was born a girl but i wasn't and at this point i wouldnt pass and i dont really have dysphoria i just wish i was a girl and i wouldnt want to ever come out to anyone in my life even if i know i could pass so i guess im just gonna be cis forever and idk if it'll turn out badly or not
>>
>>11533359
does no one on here care about never having children? also isn't getting off hrt a death sentence for your body and mind? how do people stay in fem boy territory?
>>
>>11540485
I've never so much as held the hand of a person I was attracted to so having children is a distant, distant thought. Honestly I can't even imagine my life past 30. Takin' the pills and whatever happens happens.
>>
>>11540525

>can't imagine my life past 30
Unironically relatable
>>
I wish I could at least be a femboy. It wouldn’t be enough but it’d be better than this.

I’m tall and wide, I can’t escape this feelings of always feeling big because it’s just how my body is built. Every time someone who’s under 5’11 complains about their height it makes me so upset and it shouldn’t.

I feel like no one understands me and I can’t talk about my problems even with other trans people because they’re not “convienent” problems. No one cares about me.

I thought maybe getting my voice okay would alleviate some of the pain I’m feeling but I can’t even get that right. I practice every day for hours and I still can’t speak like a girl. It’s like my body rebels against every attempt I make at being more feminine.
>>
>>11540767
Being a femboy would be nice. But without hormones it wouldn't last. I have no idea how to live as an older man. My identity and sexuality don't mesh with it.

I still shave my body to try to keep some degree of femininity. Helps a little. But it's just a cope
>>
>>11540786
I’m on hormones and have been for two years. I barely have any breast tissue and look almost exactly the same as I did beforehand.

I’m seeing an endo in a week to see what’s wrong, but I don’t think there is anything wrong. I think my body just likes being male.

I don’t understand why it worked for so many others and it didn’t at least work a little bit on me. I thought I’d at least be a little bit feminine now.
>>
>>11540786
I also would shave my body but I get a very bad rash whenever I try.
>>
>>11540824

Have you tried exfoliating?
>>
>>11540856
Yes I have an exfoliating towel.
>>
>>11532162
The TERFs are right. You can't swap genders, this whole trans thing is just a stupid fetish/cult. Probably caused by prenatal xenoestrogen exposure or some shit.
>>
>>11541947
Speak for yourself. Just because you wank with your sisters panties doesn’t mean we all do this for sexual reasons.
>>
>>11541947
>fetishes are created prenatal!
The thoughts of peasants on science, circa 2019.
>>
>>11540485
I've never wanted children as I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. It's not like I have anyone in my life to raise them with either.
Like the other anon, I don't see a future for myself.
>>
>>11540485
Never wanted children
If anything attempting to raise a family is really bad idea, it's been done by stronger repressors for years who broke and crashed their family with no survivors
Imagine
>finding a girl
>spending the whole time trying to be a man for her
>one day buying her a ring, asking her father for her hand
>he tells you she needs a strong manly man like yourself and he'd be proud to have you among the ranks of the men in his family
>proposing as she proudly squawks at all her girlfriends
>planning a wedding, setting up your best men who will extol your masculine virtues
>getting surprised with a stag, your mates paying a stripper to flaunt her body for you
>the day of, watching your wife be walked down the aisle in a white dress by her father, pronounced MAN and wife
>you plan a family, it's time for you to express your virility and you thrust into her again and again, hopefully you cum
>watch her stomach slowly expand
>one day it's arriving, everyone congratulates you on your male contribution to the child, pronounces you a father
>it's a boy, he'll be a big strong man just like his father! It's a girl, she'll grow to be a woman like her mother
>your life now belongs to them, maybe you can get by easily with the constant sleep deprivation and attention needed
>they grow older, you are expected to guide your son in the ways of masculinity, your daughter slowly grows into a young woman, a spitting image of her mother
>you are documented everywhere as the man of this family, the patriarch, you are the go to guy for any physical labor and manual tasks needed to maintain a household
And you do this all while repressing and all while keeping it buried deep down. 10 20 30 years, suicide is not an option at any time - you have a family who depends on you. All the while your body becomes more and more masculine, your ribs expand further, you develop a beer gut, your skin turns rough and leathery, your hands wiry and strong
Can you keep repressing?
>>
>>11542245
Having a family is gay. Masturbating alone in your room is based
>>
>>11542245
12/10 creepypasta

seriously though, i need to save this and reread it when i go in bouts of doubt
>>
First of all, I'm drunk, so if there's any typos, misspelling or grammatical errors, deal with it.

I don't know if I'm actually a repressor. I've had times when I thought "what if I was a girl" or "damn I wish I was a girl", but those happen very rarely and when they do it's seldom to the point where I'm questioning my identity. I guess the rational conclusion is that I'm not repressing, since I don't really further chase those thoughts either and it goes away after a while, but I'm a really insecure person in general so this makes me question sometimes. In general I feel comfortable with who I am.
Well no, I don't. But I generally feel comfortable with my gender. I'm 193cm, have somewhat soft features and a very deep voice and actually like those traits.
I don't know guys/girls, am I repressing or not? I don't think so but, again, my insecurity (I think that's the reason at least) really messes with me sometimes.
>>
>>11542392
If you do have dysphoria it seems to be very mild. In my opinion it's not worth fretting over unless it interferes significantly with your day to day life or self image. I think our culture has sort of "blown up" trans issues in a way that is hard to ignore for someone just a few ticks off the gender scale. Repressing is a conscious effort to not implode from being your true self. If you don't feel this is true, it's probably not repression. Transitioning is a serious solution for a serious problem. Just my 2c.
>t. sometimes think I should've been born a girl but that's about it
>>
>>11542392
>>11542443
I hope y'all are like at least age 25 tbqh
>>
>>11542443
>Repressing is a conscious effort to not implode from being your true self. If you don't feel this is true, it's probably not repression. Transitioning is a serious solution for a serious problem. Just my 2c.

Thank you for your input, I feel more at ease now. I suppose you're right.
>>11542463
26, turning 27 soon. I'm curious now though, why do you think that?
>>
>>11542463

23. why?
>>
>>11542500
>repressing at age 23
>>
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>>11542590
>implying genetics can't fuck you over by 19
>>
>>11542653

muh youngshits
Muh early transition
>>
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>>11542660
early transition is the only transition.
>>
>>11532342
DEPRESSOR

lol just transition already
>>
>>11542665

It doesn't matter if you have a 60 inch rib cage, are 6'9 or have feet the size of clown shoes. YOU MUST TRANSITION REEEEEEE
>>
>>11532735
RELIGIPRESSOR

transition~~~
>>
>>11542471
There's this trope of 18 year olds talking about how they're not trans only have a little dysphoria it's fine, when they clearly haven't even touched second puberty yet
If you make it past 25 with only mild dysphoria you might have a chance at lasting another 10 years before an heroing
>>
>>11542684

Proponents of post-puberty transitions are always twinks. Every fucking time it's some effeminate 19 year old manlet who projects his survivorship bias onto others. The biggest problem they think anyone could face is a slightly square chin or shitty eyebrows just like they have.
>>
>>11542752

They don't understand that being a normal guy is better than being a gross hon
>>
>>11542782
well of course, being yourself and ugly is always better than looking normal and living a lie
>>
>>11542723
I see.
Not versed well enough on this topic to form an opinion on what you just said so I'll leave it at that.
Anyway, I'm fucking off. I feel like I gained some insight through this thread and I'm happy about that.
Goodnight everyone and may your futures be blessed!
>>
>>11542821
See you in 3 years
>>
why did it have to be me

i did nothing different than anyone else
>>
>>11542845

Sometimes I think about all those people who are born with brittle bone disease or some other horrible inherited illness. Gives me some perspective on how many people are suffering in this world at no fault of their own
>>
>>11542723
Are you telling me shit puberty got a sequel?
>>
>>11533757
I found a lot of help in philosophy. Kierkegaard, Foucault, Hume, greeks and romans.
>>
>>11532162
If you're really trying to repress some kind of urge then i don't think you should visit this board.
>>
Does anybody here know what the name of the medication that's supposed to make trans people not want to transition is? I remember people on this board talking about it before but I can't remember the name of it.
>>
>>11543724
How is it a jewish scam exactly?
>>
>>11543724

The real cure exists, but it makes less money than a full lifetime of meds + SRS so it's kept a secret. The higher ups in government can get it for their children but we're out of luck
>>
>>11532668
Why you gotta call me out like that
>>
It's kinda weird living everyday knowing you will never be happy. Like knowing that there is something out there that would make you happy, but you'll never have anything close to that. People go through their lives working hard to some day be happy, but I don't have that type of motivation. it's like being a totally different type of person
>>
>>11542782
Cis life is real
Trans is a meme
>>
>>11544139
Which one is the tranny?
>>
im starting to realize that my dysphoria isnt even very bad, did i make a mistake by starting HRT? should i just stop?
>>
>>11532162
>all trannies are mentally ill (the Curehon repression)
Excuse me, what?
>>
>>11544439
>take medicine
>feel better
>I don't need medicine! Stop taking medicine
>feel shitty again
>>
>>11544479
but what if its from other reasons that i feel better? or what if im remembering wrong about how it used to be?
>>
>>11544488
Alright so stop, but if you feel shitty again, then start, and if you feel better again, promise you won't do the same thing again
>>
Not sure if I should take the antipsychotics my doctor wants me to try, it feels like the old tactic of getting me to shut up as long as they shove pills in my hand and pushing me out the door.
>>
>>11544522
ive tried to just stop in the past but all i ended up doing is just delaying the time i take my dose by a few hours
>>
>>11544526
Yikes what for? Is it possible you have actual schizophrenia?

>>11544530
Heh. OK. This is how the rabbit hole started for me too, although after I managed to quit for a week or so at a time. Only managed that twice before I never stopped again
>>
>>11544538
It's more of a rapid fire strategy they seem to have, throw every medication you have and hope one sticks. I've gone through the common ssri and snri so they are struggling for other things to use. I'm not thrilled with the side effects that those medications had and these might be stronger.
I don't think I have something as serious as schizophrenia. I don't have any hallucinations and just a very negative mindset.
>>
>>11544538
i do kind of wonder how much worse id feel if i stopped though
>>
>>11544448
No, seriously, what does OP mean by this?
>>
>>11544583
thats something a poster known as cureanon would say
>>
>>11544588
I mean it IS a mental illness but generally there's never a cure for mental illness.

I thought we established that Autism Speaks was full of shit.

I'm just confused as to why the fuck it's called a "repression" like, "it's a mental illness and I don't want to be mentally ill therefore I'm not trans" something along those lines?
>>
>>11544550
That sounds kind of stupid Tbh
And uhhh have you considered that the reason you feel very negative might be testosterone?
>>
>>11544192
Which one looks male?
>>
>>11544647
It must be my situation more than just testorsterone that is getting me down. I'll try to find a way to pay for hrt and go on that though, it can't cost that much and it should help.
Bit annoyed that it is such a trial to get it legit, maybe it would have helped me from the start and I wouldn't have slipped into this hole I am in.
>>
>>11544538
nah im actually gonna stop now, im an absolute fucking hon and theres no point in continuing HRT
>>
>>11532162
can someone explain the egg one to my retarded agp probably-a-phase ass?
>>
>>11544139
Damn. At first I thought it was red tanktop, then I realized the one on the far right was presenting female. That's some good repression fuel to start my morning.
>>
>>11545501
egg means a tranwoman who hasn't realized she's trans yet

"I wish I was trans so I could transition" is very a common line of thinking among eggs. It's funny because cis people don't wish they were trans.

recommended literature: https://www.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/
>>
>>11545637
>encouraging people to go to reddit
why dont you just go back
>>
why do you repressors not just take HRT and boymode?
>>
>>11545801
because i look like a high test alpha male patriarch and even multiple expensive surgeries couldn't change that
>>
>>11545801
I'm struggling to get some.
>>
>>11545801
I don't want to leave evidence around
I don't want to ruin my balls
>>
>>11546977
ruining your balls is the whole point
>>
>>11547017
I have a lot of familial expectations, it really wouldn't work out well for me
>>
To whom it may concern.
One day in the moderate to far future (probably almost 40 to 50 years), it will be possible to transfer your consciousness into another body, as well as to tailor that body to your liking.

Save your money up now and persevere. Things will get better someday, but that day is a long ways off, and lots of hard work is left to be done.
>>
>>11547231
>literally using the Religion Promise unironically
Cajones of steel, esse.
>>
>>11547307

It's easy to be cynical about life. It's human nature to be cynical.

Have at least a little faith in humanity. Be a just little more optimistic.
>>
>>11547231
So try now and hope for the best later?
>>
>>11547402
When the seed leaves it's shell, it doesn't know how its going to end up.

Most of them still become flowers with enough effort and determination.

.....at least until some human comes tromping through the field. Maybe that analogy needs some more work. =)
>>
>>11547231

I'll be fucking 70 by then. If I'm not dead, my mental faculties will be so far degraded I may as well not bother.
It's better to just accept the prime of your life is right now. There's no do-overs or second chances, no matter how much hopium you drink.
>>
>>11533244
Kinda interesting. I started my transition long after all my friends abandoned me so I basically had nothing to lose

>>11533322
Have no social life, then there's no humiliation. Alternatively, just boymode if you can't handle expressing as a woman.
>>
>>11540682
>tfw three years left until my life ends
yikes
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohc4MrAVj5M

Poor man's Nigahiga goes around asking randos if they'd date an attractive trans woman. Basically everyone is disgusted by the idea.
>>
>>11532711
>HRT costs too much (poverty repression)
if you have insurance and go legit your meds should be cheap. if you DIY, patches are ridiculously expensive, the most expensive form of E2 in fact. injections are the cheapest, most effective, AND lowest risk form of E2, if you can find them, and it's even cheaper if you make your own injections from raw E2, but that's a lot of effort to put in. injections also allow you go w/o an AA, which reduces the health risks and cost of HRT even further.

>concerned about health risk of HRT (health risk repression)
suicide risk with repression is like 1000-10000 times more likely than health risks on HRT

>>11533124
animism and anarchism cured my repression
patriarchal religion and authoritarian political ideology will fuel your repression if you're into that, yea

>>11534239
anon it's not healthy to live such an in-depth lie
you will always have friends here, and you can be anyone you want to be here too

>>11536104
yea same. the longer i stare at myself in the mirror, the more intense the dissociation gets. when i do it long enough it's like i'm looking at a complete stranger and i have no attachment to him, yes him because he looks like a man. i can reverse the dissociation but then i get incredibly dysphoric and start crying hard. so i just avoid staring at myself in the mirror bec. it mindfucks me

>>11538217
i know that fucking feel

>>11542245
this is real shit right here

>>11544009
don't be so defeatist anon, if you have hope that things will improve, that will motivate you to work towards your dreams

>>11544600
why do you think being trans is a mental illness? i only ever felt mentally ill before I accepted my gender identity and started HRT. I had chronic bouts of depression, was unmotivated, had suicidal and homicidal ideations, engaged in toxic masculinity in an attempt to feel manly, and so on. repression is the real mental illness, and it's actually possible to cure it by accepting yourself and transitioning
>>
>>11547391
It's not natural to be cynical. People have to be taught to be cynical. People are taught to be cynical when they live in an exploitative, authoritarian, capitalist society in which it's game theory optimal to exploit others and avoid altruism. Imagine a society where the dominant social norms are based around unconditional gifting; you give people certain things that they need, and you can expect other people give you the things you need. Then people would assert that humans are naturally altruistic. In reality the social system is what defines the normal social interactions. So it's understandable that someone should be cynical when raised in a system that promotes self-interest.
>>
Getting real tired of this life I cannot enjoy. It makes things impossible when I have to face another painful day.
>>
>>11550867

Do you have a suicide plan? I plan to leave once I scratch a few things off my bucket list. It's sad but a bit liberating
>>
>>11550872
I was going to hang myself before 30 and that is rapidly approaching. I wouldn't mind doing certain things I wouldn't normally do if I'm going to die anyway, just hope it won't be terrible.
>>
>>11550914
why not transition if you're dying
>>
>>11550915
meme post

>>11550914
>rapidly approaching
blows my mind that I'll be 30 in just 4 years. My entire youth was wasted. The future is so bleak.
>>
>>11550915
being a hon is certain death
One can be cis in so many ways
>>
>>11550942
yeah but if there's 1% chance of being happy that's still better than certainly killing yourself when you reach 30
>>
>>11550915
It's not going to salvage this gross man body. I could get patches and pills but it's not going to be effective.

>>11550931
I can't get over that either, the whole time I couldn't enjoy anything and noone else saw a problem with that. I'd do so much if I could do it over again and push through despite my fears.
>>
>>11550954

There's no do-overs for us. It's over. Our goose is cooked. The fat lady sang. Accepting that is part of the process. Once you know it's over. It's actually freeing
>>
>>11550984
I don't feel any better, I'm full of regret :(
All the things I should have done but didn't and what I did instead made it worse.
>>
>>11550954
You're gross because you don't take care of yourself
There are so many ways guys can look good - masc, fem, etc

>>11550984
It's called growing up, maturing into an adult
>>
>>11551984
>curehon trying to be subtle
>>
>>11551984
>It's called growing up, maturing into an adult

it's called death
>>
>>11551984
I'm gross because I am a man and I fucking hate it, I would have been better off if I lost my balls in an accident as a child.
>>
>>11552767
>hating that you won the lottery
boy are you dumb
>>
>>11552810
Explain how I won.
>>
>>11552767
I almost succeeded as a child. I “saved” by a hospital. They got their revenge by starting puberty at 10. It too late now.
>>
>>11537289
I wish I knew, seeing femoids legit makes me want to kill myself out of extreme envy and depressiom
>>
>>11553684
a repressor tripfag? cool
>>
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You trannies with parents that hate you have it easy. You can kill yourself WHENEVER YOU WANT. Lucky fuck
>>
I'm repressing my intense urges to become a femboy. Every time I see a trap/femboy pic i just get sad and think about how ill never be able to take hrt and go full femboy because of fear that people will look down on me and see me as a disgusting tranny. I wish I could just get the courage to take some hrt and be happy.
>>
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>>11532162
All of them.
I get mistaken for a woman often and I am aware of it, I am told in pictures and IRL that I look like an ugly girl.
But I have some serious body self image issues and I see nothing but a broad shouldered hon when I look in the mirror.
I wish I could go back in time when I was 16 and start HRT then, I am 23 now and I can't stop feeling like it is too late for me.
I am also deathly afraid of ruining my life, since I have a stable job and a good life overall and don't want to throw it all away.
I'm also afraid of being ostracized or harassed, I've already been bullied IRL before by mean guys saying I was a tranny, when I wasn't even dressing remotely feminine.

I hate myself and I know full well that I am repressing, it's an odd feeling, I know full well I am repressed, like a ticking time bomb, but what can I do? The walls are closing in around me, and I don't know how I will get out of this tight, oppressive space I've been caged in.

Help me.
>>
>>11557788
Take your pills, if for no other reason than to stop male aging. If other things happen, then good. If not, it's better than where you are now.
>>
>>11532162
it's just a temporary lifestyle choice, not an identity
>>
>>11558045
>temporary
>>
>>11558045
>choice
>>
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Got mistaken for 14 today. I'm 26. That manlet, babyface and unable to grow a beard feel.

Sure wish I was trans so I could make a qt girl so put me down for option 3 OP.
>>
>>11558069
is this bait?
>>
>>11558099
No, why would you think that?
>>
>>11558069
Manlet privilege at its finest
>>
>>11558115
Yeah it sure is a privilege to feel constantly emasculated by just existing and being invisible to the opposite sex.
>>
>>11556610
guys can have a fem look
>>
>be masculine muscle bottom
>would rather be a cis female
Is this what dysphoria feels like
>>
>>11558069
Gosh, I wish I still looked young, that was an alright time. I should have run with it and go as twink as I could.
>>
>>11559095
That’s what we’re doing tho
>>
>>11558105
youre a tranny now take your HRT
>>
>>11559190
I don't know about that. There are things I like about a man like being strong, but then I also think women like to be strong too, right? Who doesn't like to feel strong, it's satisying for everyone, right? AGP gets thrown around here a lot but I don't think it applies to me because while I have crossdressed in the past, I don't really see it as a sexual thing. BUT then I also think maybe this whole phantasy is just me trying to cope with being a really subpar male along the lines of "I'm a shitty man might as well be a woman".

Shit's confusing.
>>
>>11559730
but you basically said you wanted to be a girl earlier, do you still agree with that?
>>
>>11559757
I said I wish I was trans. Because assuming I'm not, going HRT or whatever seems really fucking scary.
>>
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FEEL
>>
Pretty sure I'm not trans since while I'd rather be a girl and wish I'd been born as one, I don't really hate being male, just apathetic to it at worst. Although I can't shake the feeling that I'm making a huge mistake since if I was trans, I'd need to be getting on HRT ASAP since I'm 20 years old now. Especially doesn't help that I have dreams where I'm a cute girl and then I wake up with the intense desire to order HRT.
>>
>>11559766
I posted >>11559784 this and agree 100%. Whether I'm cis or trans I just wish I knew for sure so I wouldn't constantly have anxiety about it
>>
>>11559798
normal guys do not want to be girls in the slightest though
>>
>>11559784
>20 years old and repressing
my girl what are you doing get titty pills like yesterday
>>
>>11559940
>>11559947
Well the idea of being a man doesn't really depress me (especially as a feminine guy), I just would've preferred to have been born a girl.
>>
>>11559994
but that means you were born a girl
the peen doesn't make you male or female
feels > reals
>>
>>11559994
what about the idea of being a masculine guy?
>>
>>11560050
Like I said, wouldn't be horrible I would just PREFER to be a girl, so I don't think it's something worth completely changing my life over.
>>
>>11560094
well you are aware that gender dysphoria will get worse as time goes on though right? the more masculinized you are the stronger it will get.
>>
>>11560004
not that anon but i have a really hard time seeing myself as one
>>
>>11560004
Honestly, I don't believe this for a second. People fantasize about all sorts of shit, being rich, murdering their boss, leaving everything behind and travelling the world, etc. I absolutely believe normal people do think occasionally that it would be nice to be the opposite gender.
>>
All repressors should take a moment to read
The Gender Variant Phenomenon--A Developmental Review by Anne Vitale
(Especially >>11560146)
It's a paper written by a person that worked with lots of transgender people, and is the proof that dysphoria is not a fleeting feeling and that it may never go away
>>
>>11560155
My point is fleeting curious phantasies are not dysphoria.
>>
>>11560203
>didn't read
>>
>>11560108
Yeah I do, hence my post about how I'm worried that I'm making a mistake. But my opinion is that it's more likely that I am not trans.
>>
>>11560217
>But my opinion is that it's more likely that I am not trans.
why do you think this? from seeing your posts id say its probably the opposite
>>
>>11560223
Because while I've had thoughts like this for a while, they didn't really become prominent in my head until very recently, and plus like I said I would just prefer to be a girl, it's not "I'm gonna kill myself if I have to live as a man" like you see commonly with trannies.
>>
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>>11560216
Just got about halfway through where I stopped because I don't think group 3 applies to me. I don't have it that bad in terms of anxiety, the last time I crossdressed was years ago and I'm neither compensating with hypermasculine activities nor am I highly successful.

Guess I really am just a very shitty man.
>>
>>11560388
>i don't have it that bad in terms of anxiety
Well obviously not all dysphoric MTFs are succesful businessmen and shit.
It's just proposes common behaviors like
>if i get a gf and babby this will go away
>i'd rather study than do masculine shit
>oh fuck i gotta do masculine shit or i wont get to touch wymmyn
and shit like that.
but the fact that you do feel some anxiety is the main symptom of dysphoria
>>
>>11560440
But I'm anxious about all sorts of shit. Like I said I don't buy that simply entertaining the thought makes you dysphoric.
>>
>>11560467
yeah im anxious about all sorts of shit too, but transitioning helped so.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
one anxiety can lead to others
>>
I have been on femboy hrt (bica, ralox, estrofem). for 6 months now, 21 old started 20.

I'm happier since I no longer fear more masculinization. Its not a cure, but helps a lot. The changes are good, my waist shrank to 28'', softer skin and facial features and larger eyes.

The only downside is getting mistaken for a teenage and over sensitive nipples.
>>
>>11560742
no breast growth?
>>
>>11560742
I've been considering doing this as well. Since you say femboy I assume you are boymoding right? Also have you done anything through the doctor or are you doing all DIY right now?
>>
>>11560753
The ralox prevents growth(body builder use to prevent gyno). It never grew past AA. I don't want to get found out since I'm almost 5'7 and 126 lbs.>>11560755
I'm diy I can't imagine admitting my GD, I'd rather die of shame. Besides I'll lose all my friends and family.
>>
>>11560791
Glad to hear it helped you, since that's pretty much what I want it for. What doses? I wonder if ralox is really necessary.
>>
>>11560854
I started breast development at 2 months+ before starting ralox to halt it. 60 mg for that.
2mg estrofem and 12.5 bica (25 at start).
>>
>>11560907

might get on this. Feeling down about this repression thing...
>>
Self-control =/= repression, especially if this is just a fetish for people and not something to be made a lifestyle out of.
>>
>>11561292
Yeah same. I feel like coming on this board even for a dedicated repression thread is bad for repression.
>>
>>11561538
>muh 'i-its just a fetish that i cant stop thinkng about, that dominates my waking thoughts, that appears every day, that makes me suicidal, that makes me completely disconnect from the world, that robs me of my goals, that robs me of my entire life, totally just a f-fetish, I'mma usin' mah self-control to stop it!'
Funny how you can't 'control' any of the aspects of the 'tetish' that ruin your life, but you somehow think 'self-control' will keep you from needing to express it.
>>
Who else had a fem time in their life but didn't really realize it or appreciate it at all? Then people started calling you sir and Mr and it was all downhill...
>>
>>11562263

But my depression and my fetish are unrelated
>>
>>11562263
Fuck you if I decide to kill myself one day for repressing I'll deal with that myself.
>>
>>11562493
>I'll deal with that myself.
You mean the people that find your body will deal with it
>>
>>11562493
Bravado is easy when you're young and the T flows strong. Good luck, anon.
>>11562498
Cactus time, gincel.
>>
>>11562552
Go to bed, grandpa
You're contributing nothing
>>
>>11562573
>You're contributing nothing
The irony in this statement has a crisp smell not unlike cinnamon-baked apples.
>>
>>11562593
Why? I'm waiting for you big strong men to come throw me in yourselves once you get done living in mom's basement jerking the pud to gifs of tendies being dunked into a hot, steamy sweet n sour sauce in a lascivious manner while Wagner plays in the background and your father is fucking your brother's son.

As much as you talk about it, surely you'll get around to it by the year 2525 or so.
>>
can you guys stop fighting
>>
Coming from a former repressor who's currently lying in a hospital bed after srs feeling tons of relief, take a long hard look at your life and how you realistically see it turning out. If you can't think of goals you'd like to accomplish in the next five years you need to reevaluate your shit
>>
>>11562707

Go be happy with your life some place else
>>
>>11562765
they must maintain that bleeding puss hole from infection, so I hardly consider that happy
>>
>>11563455

That shit disgusts me so much. Jesus christ who would go through with that surgery
>>
>>11563494
You in 20 years ;¬]
>>
>>11563521

You and I both know I won't be alive in 20 years
>>
>>11563455
There isn't blood after about a week and there should never be puss unless you got it done in some Taiwanese chop shop because that means it got infected. If more people actually knew how SRS worked it wouldn't seem that scary.
>>
>>11562707
>a former repressor who's currently lying in a hospital bed after srs
How did things change anon?
>>11563526
Anon?!
>>
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>>11563562
>Anon?!
>>
>>11532162
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdT_BygNBZs
>>
>>11563534

You can justify your open wound all you want, im waiting until something less primitive comes around
>>
>>11562707
I fucked myself and am trying to get hrt. I don't see it turning around on me.
I'm happy things have worked out for you, I hope things can only get better.
>>
>>11563562
I hit rock bottom
I'd share you the photo of about 3.5y ago but I'm in the process of archiving all that shit hopefully forever. I was bad. I looked like a school shooter and was drinking every day just to get by, and I slept usually anywhere from 7am to 11am until 8pm to 12am. My last ditch effort was to go to graduate school which I flunked out of but told a different excuse to others.
It got to the point where I simply cared about nothing anymore I hated myself, I hated youngshits, I hated people who were better off than me. (still kinda hate them Tbh...) I had a bit of a /pol/ phase
I was drinking myself to liver failure or likely an eventual suicide by gun because I lived in a pro gun state at the time. But I managed in a way. Mostly jerking off multiple times a day to tranny porn and self inserting. At one point I was hammered and decided I didn't give a fuck anymore and if I was going to kill myself anyway I might as well try hormones because it might indulge my fetish more. Kept taking them and slowly let myself do more like shave repression beard, cease haircuts, shave legs. Nothing else really happened for a long time, my parents made me see a therapist who was pretty shit. But I'd drive home crying. One night I remember distinctly I saw a tractor trailor in the opposite lane I started turning toward it, but it veered out of my way. My adrenaline pumped, and I pulled over. I had kind of a breakdown, and while I was never against suicide as a viable option, I felt it should be done out of calculation. Then, I vowed I would do my best to get all my surgeries, and if I was still unhappy, I could kill myself knowing that I gave life a fair honest chance and I could die without any regret. In a weird way that promise has kept me going in my bad times.
>>
>>11563584
Honestly that's fair and understandable I just wish less "open wound" retoric was around because it isn't accurate.
>>
>>11563526
>>11563571
What will happen to you in the next 20 years?
>>11563627
>I fucked myself
How?
>>
>>11563704
>What will happen to you in the next 20 years?

ill be ded from suicide, hopefully! Keep your fingers crossed
>>
Anyway, my parents pushed for me to get a job, Idk how but I managed one somehow. I realized that my promise would potentially be viable if I lived with them and spent no money over the course of years. Somehow I persisted, I met one online friend whom I talked to a lot who was a big help. The time went by quickly and hormones eventually killed my need for alcohol unless I wanted to have a casual drink. I was well past any real changes but I enjoyed seeing breasts develop and skin soften up. After spending no money my salary became enough I could consider consultations for surgery which gave me some hope to continue. Long story short I distracted with video games as the time went by, and surgery after surgery made a small part of me more liveable.
I acknowledge I did have a lot of privilege going in - I wasnt quite 25 when starting hrt and started finasteride a bit earlier from a panic attack. I was "only" 6'1 and average not Chad framed and didn't have an absurd amount of body or facial hair. But still it's not like I was some wide-hipped 5'8 youngshit who passed perfectly from hrt alone

/blog
>>
>>11563685
>At one point I was hammered and decided I didn't give a fuck anymore and if I was going to kill myself anyway I might as well try hormones because it might indulge my fetish more.
I've never been quite this bad, so I guess it's keep repressing for now.

How much better did things get over the 3.5 years since?

>In a weird way that promise has kept me going in my bad times.
<3
>>
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>>11563689
You realise that things are wrong when a shithole like Thailand is the go-to place for srs

Being trans is already hard mode, but turning your working penis inside out is just beyond crazy
>>
>>11563750
Quite a lot I'd say. The amount of shame I feel over being feminine is vastly reduced. Because well, I am a woman. I always was, just severely gaslit into believing otherwise. Even now I'm still l breaking conditioning. But I finally have noticed I have some goals again for the future, some things would like to do. I have thought about "what I might like to do in my 30s" when before such a thought would never have come, implicitly I assumed I would be dead by then.
I feel I can have far more natural interactions with people and I'm no longer worried about "what are they going to think of me if I say this, how do I say something in a way that won't have me labeled as a beta virgin male"
It's liberating
>>
Don't know if any1 remembers me lol but > I was relatively far into transition and therapy when I suddenly decided I was going to repress (out of shame) revert all the progress I made and start doing a manly thing, restoring a Mazda rx8 which I bought to track, just because I believed that it was because I was around the wrong people that I was feeling the need to transition.


I'm back again, more depressed than before, older than before and thinking of restarting the whole therapy transition thing once again. I wish I could get rid of this damn crippling shame. RX-8 is doing just fine tho
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>>11563875
I can't believe I thought taking up another hobby/long term goal would somehow make me feel more complete and supress the desire to be female. I can't really get along with any other car people cause they find me too faggy either
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>>11563850
>Because well, I am a woman. I always was, just severely gaslit into believing otherwise.
I don't think I'm a woman. I wish I was, but I'm not in any sense, unless wishing I was is all that matters.

What do you want to do in the future anon?

>I feel I can have far more natural interactions with people and I'm no longer worried about "what are they going to think of me if I say this, how do I say something
How did transition stop you feeling like that? I feel it but I didn't know it was anything to do with transition.
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>>11563704
I could have started a decade ago like I wanted but talked myself out of it. I thought it would all go wrong as I am gullible and believe things I shouldnt, that I wasn't the right fit or that I would meet all the criteria.
Life would have been much better if I did get hrt and not have that stress anymore, maybe having hope and something to work for might have done me a world of good.
I also see myself as ashes in 20 years, I can't put up with this.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-ACKRI_Ifs

Fighting dysphoria like
>>
>work physical labor
>if I were to transition Id need another job
welp
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>>11563850
>Because well, I am a woman. I always was, just severely gaslit into believing otherwise.
no youre just a delusional hon then
>>
My number one source of repression fuel is the fact that, while in the back of my head I've always wished since I was a teenager that I could have zero social restraints and start taking HRT, a year or so ago I was lifting and wanted to be a huge muscular dude and take steroids. Now I currently have anxiety over needing to get on HRT before it's too late, but I kinda feel like this is a phase like wanting to take steroids.
>>
>manage to repair my egg just in time to stop myself from ordering HRT
>have a dream about being a cute girl and it breaks again
Fucking why though
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>>11565519
You're doing the steroid thing just to compensate. If you're anything like me, that is. Which you may or may not be. I don't know.
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>>11566526
Yeah, I've thought that that could be a possibility. Right now I'm glad that I never started using steroids (since they're illegal and way harder to get than HRT) because now the thought of my body getting masculine scares me.
>>
Anyone else go to /r/genderCritical for repression fuel?
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>>11567163
Which kinds of posts in particular fuel repression?

Post examples
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>>11567163
No, tranny hate, whether it's from TERFs or /pol/ doesn't help my repression anymore, it just makes me hate them for being transphobic.
The best repression fuel is seeing hons act up (thank you gamestop hon)
>>
>>11567163
I cant stand that stuff. transition is fine, its just so up to random chance that the only real chance is starting early. I didnt get that so i find it hard to justify for myself, i think its a viable option for anyone that can pull it off.
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>>11567163

repression fuel is the mirror tbqh
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>>11567527
This, gamestop hon was a lifesaver for me
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>>11562263
Lmao imagine being this fucking obsessed by a simple fucking fetish nice projection all around that post.

I'm AGP and the only problem it has given me was porn addiction which you can get from any other fetish. I'm doing better with that using the aforementioned self-control though.
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>realizing it's probably just a fetish
I'm pretty sure that's where I'm at. Not entirely sure why or how it happened but it seems to line up in too many ways to discount. If I ever feel an intense urge to cut my dick off when I'm like 50 or whatever I'll deal with it as the time comes. Until then >>11569495
has the right idea.



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