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How well did trans people here conform to the gender roles of their assigned gender before transitioning?
>>
Pretty badly. I always got bullied for being feminine and family friends outright asked my parents what they'd do if it turned out I was trans.

Then came out to my parents and got told I never showed any signs.
>>
>>11277005
>conform to the gender roles of their assigned gender
Give me a checklist of male/female gender role traits?
>>
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>>11277015
I'm not sure how they're closeted if they're openly dating men and being gnc. It's pretty much only "normal" cis gay men who are obsessed by how they come off to straight people.
>>
>>11277005
>How well did trans people here conform to the gender roles of their assigned gender before transitioning?
Me: Was very masculine in the way of a gentleman before starting transition.
>>
>>11277125
>why do you deny an assertion that it is false
What could be the reason?
>>
>>11277125
Because that would be un pecado and he doesn't want to have to blow the padre and say 3 hail marys again.
He likes women!
>>
>>11277137
I am atheist, for the record.
>>
>>11277157
Why are you so terrified of accepting the fact that not all people fit within your stupid boxes?
>>
>>11277118
Are you some kind of mind reader? You could make a lot of money with a talent like that.
>>
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>>11277162
Oh fuck.
You're back?
I thought you died.
This is why we can't have nice things.
>>
>>11277005
I didn't. If you did, you're a trender.
>>
>>11277162
hows the maths going, ksenia?
>>
>>11277218
Hard-going, but going. Thanks for asking.
>>
lol homogay
>>
>>11277005
mtf, I was a fat, computer-loving, quizbowl nerd. so as well as any of my friends, I suppose.
transitioned in college where I was pretty much going to classes, playing vidya, and drinking. so I guess that's close to being on par with most dudes
>>
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>>11277005
>>11277005
Pretty badly at first. I didn't like sports wasn't and wasn't good at them but my parents had me doing at least one sport at all times. People made fun of me and sometimes I'd cry when I got pushed down. In highschool I don't know I think I was more of a loser if I'm going to be honest. Though people that didn't know me would sometimes ask if I was gay from the way I dressed. I kinda caught my stride and fit some wack as niche freshmen year of college as a sad boi who likes video games and music too much. Dunno, I feel like I conformed best then. People seemed to like me the most then but I felt the most dead inside I've ever felt. I even did boxing, I honestly don't know why. I was kinda good at it; though as I got more fit the more detached from reality and empty I felt. Helped with not caring about getting punched in the face tho.
>>
>>11277118
Why would someone choose to be a transwoman instead of a gay man, do you really thing homophobia is more prevalents then transphobia?
>>
>>11277005
I am FtM. I was decent at performing trafitional femininity when I was younger, but it did really always feel like a performance. Like a character I was playing purely for the social reward of being a good female. The more self confident I became during adolescence the more masculine I got. I behave closer to the average man than the average woman now. Still mostly in the closet at the moment
>>
>>11277005
>pic
Where is that from?
>>
>>11277005
I didn't pass well as male at all. I got bullied severely for it.
>>
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>>11277170
>I thought you died.
>>
>>11277029
The most important traits are agreableness and neuroticism (the roles go like this: men tend to be low on agreeableness and low on neuroticism, women tend to be high on agreeableness and high on neuroticism) (the rest of differences are not as important quantitatively)
>>
>>11277005
The mtf girl I'm dating didn't know the make or model of the car she drives.
>>
>>11278406
>>11278406
More essentially, women are communal (or the other, or the keepers of socially harmony), and men are agentic (the self, or the ..
In some ways this can lead to the idea that the gender roles are oppressive because the values that predominate are of the agentic kind.
Either these could be formed prenatally or from cultural expectations or both.
I believe that gender identity depends on one's understanding of what is feminine or what is masculine and its interplay with the expectations of others in the specific contexts. It is the tension and comfort (the authenticity and the self-restraint) that define a person who might be more volatile and not necessarily fit all the time within the expectations people have of them: all of these leads to all kinds of personal narratives that define one's life. Not only because of the interpersonal effects that they have on one, but also because of how they enlargen one's understanding of the paradigms colliding. Being reborn and seen as one truly is or as one is actually not or as one wants: all of that leads to the refreshement of our worlds. And neither version is truer or more correct than the other, the universe is just a neutral narrator and the justifications we give ourselves are only our conversation with imaginary interlocutors inspired by the actual reactions and discourses of those around us and in imitation of our past feelings towards others.
>>
idk I've been pretty androgynous my whole life, hung out with equal number of guys and girls my whole life, male failed and was the "gay kid" for a few years before puberty

was never bullied for it though
>>
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Not very. I dressed pretty badly for example i.e. the same jeans and T shirts every day. My hair was rarely organized in a male fashion and my body language and word choices though not very feminine were enough to have friends think I was gay.

I was just reserved and quiet.
>>
>>11278444
>The mtf girl I'm dating didn't know the make or model of the car she drives.
kek
>>
>>11277005
Badly. Played with girls as a kid, grew hair out the moment parents were too sick of making me get it cut. Bullied for acting girly, only "boy" to join cooking class instead of that woodwork stuff (not sure what it's called in English), made my voice higher the moment puberty started fucking with it, cried when facial hair started growing. The happiest part of puberty was some tumors that destroyed my T production and stopped puberty.
I fucking wish anyone at school would have told us about trans people, I didn't know I could transition until I was 25.
>>
>>11279157
>The happiest part of puberty was some tumors that destroyed my T production and stopped puberty.

tfw not diagnosed with tumor that needs my balls/pickle removed and also intolerance to testosterone so i need to take estrogen instead
>>
>>11277005
Terribly, I didn't even try past the age of 8. It's commonly talked about how tomboys are cool and accepted but I was so masculine I made all my peers uncomfortable.
>>
>>11279286
elaborate
>>
Easy af.
Wake up
Pee
Brush teeth
Put on Levi's and tee shirt
Use hand as brush/keep hair short.
Fuck shaving I'll do it tomorrow??
Go to work
No drama

Now. Omg. Can't leave house brows aren't on fleek.
Where's my brush? Can't go In store with my hair like this.
Shave every day. "Laser for Christmas please daddy"?
>>
>>11277757
Konosuba.
>>
>>11278406
>The most important traits are agreableness and neuroticism (the roles go like this: men tend to be low on agreeableness and low on neuroticism, women tend to be high on agreeableness and high on neuroticism)
>>11278648
>More essentially, women are communal (or the other, or the keepers of socially harmony), and men are agentic (the self, or the ..
>In some ways this can lead to the idea that the gender roles are oppressive because the values that predominate are of the agentic kind.
How are these values learned by boys and girls respectively as they grow?

What are male and female socialization?
>>
>>11284801
What mtf me learned fwiw:
>Acting/being feminine is bad.
>People hate me.
>I'm weird and don't fit in.
>There's no place in the world for me.
>Life is suffering.
>You're at the mercy of other people.
>People hate you if you're too smart.
>No matter what you do it will never be good enough.
I feel much better about the world and life now, but the above is pretty much where I was at when I graduated from high school.
>>
>>11285182
>tfw still feel all of that

Is it because I'm repressing?
>>
>>11285213
Actually it could be. I won't say I've totally gotten past all this, but transitioning helped me feel better about life and the world.
But it's not a quick fix. Becoming more positive about life has been a long, slow process. And there have been times when I've gotten discouraged.
This kind of toxic socialization has probably held me (and likely you too) back more than being trans.
>>
Well within acceptable behavior for a nerdy teenage boy. Most feminine thing I did was grow my hair out, have a pink keyboard, feminine alias and a grew my hair out.
>>
>>11285451
at heart mtfs are nerdy teenage boys with long hair and pink keyboards
>>
>>11277024
Now that I think about it, I had the same thing. Got bullied and stuff, and when playing those shitty singing games I'd do the female parts or whatever, also always wanted long hair, tried nail polish, etc.

But apparently I never showed any signs. I don't resent them for it or anything, but still, being a late transition hon is hard.
>>
>>11277005
In terms of interests, I fall somewhere in the middle. I like video games about shooting people, I like learning about retro code, and am of a scientific mind. But I also have interests in social science, and like listening to people like Jonathan Haidt.

Personality wise, I think I'm more masculine than feminine. Very low agreeableness, but also very high neuroticism (although it was a little lower before HRT, I think).

MtF, so I was both a failure of a man and will be a failure as a woman. At least I have a boyfriend I can be a housewife for.
>>
>>11277232
is that linux?
>>
>>11278406
does this mean im a girl then
>>
>>11288806
>conscientiousness - extremely low
Kind of throws the whole "Transwomen are high IQ computer programmers!" meme into perspective
>>
m->f here, for me, it was almost like I WAS male before my transition, and I changed. Idk if this is prominant in other people who are trans, but it is in me.
>>
>>11288790
Yes. It HOL4 running inside Emacs running in GNU/Linux.
>>
>>11277005
Pretty good desu. I was sensitive and bullied when small child, but I learned how to behave later and fitted in pretty ok with men. I never really had soccer obsessed friends etc but I got along with guys pretty well.

I do not think I am very feminine actually. I like to look ok and take care of myself, but I am even dressed pretty ''dyke like'' most of the time.
>>
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>>11288882
>being this desperate to sound computer-literate
>>
>>11288967
This software is the bread and butter for me. What did you expect me to say? If I sound computer literate, it is because I am. Sorry (not sorry) for hurting your fee-fees.
>>
>>11289047
>being trans
>not using unix
I guess los eunucos doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
>>
>>11289121
I am a tranny and I don't even know what Unix is.
>>
>>11277005
>>11277024
>>11288384
This is the theme of thread. I imagine most people had this happen. Get bullied (even if just harmless off the sleeve kind of jokes) endlessly, but everyone acts surprised when you come out. Denial is one hell of a drug.
>>
>>11288862
IQ is negatively correlated with conscientiousness, isn't it?
>>
I was and still am very bad at being a girl.
>>
>>11277005
KILL LGBT
Die
>>
>>11289287
Computer programming is


>>
>>11289121
tfw tranny that uses linux instead of unix
>>
>>11277005
I conformed pretty well as a child. Wore pink clothes, witch costumes at Halloween, played with dolls, etc.
Around age 8 is when it started to change. I didn’t want to do overtly feminine things. Mom had to force me to wear pink clothes. As I started growing older, I started expressing wanting to cut my hair and stuff like that.
Kinda sucks my mom fought so hard against it, because now sometimes I want to express my feminine side, and I can’t because my mom uses that to say I should detransition. Now I hide it from her.
>>
If men are supposed to just live with their mom through their 20s and slowly drink themselves to death i guess i did a pretty good job

luckily im doing better now
>>
>>11291127
Same I live with my mom lol
Except I do other self destructive things than drink
But good job doing better anon keep it up
>>
I don't know all I really did was sat in corners playing Pokémon on Gameboy and not enjoying sports but that just seems to be standard autist material with no real gender.
>>
>>11277005
I was persona non grata by the end of second grade, so no one cared that I didn't conform - they wouldn't associate with me anyways. So I conformed rather little, just enough to not get my ass kicked at home after the beatings started. I didn't ever try to 'conform' until my dad signed me up to play football and I tried it for a whole two games but got kicked off the team for chatting it up with the cheerleaders on the sidelines (not flirting, banter) and not watching what was going on. And maybe something about putting our all-state qb out for the year in practice because hey, I didn't know I wasn't sposed to hit him!

He wasn't happy when I got kicked off the team. I celebrated by going to the New Kids on the Block concert and getting a new t-shirt. <3

When I found out I couldn't get HRT because my liver was trashed, I finally tried conforming some but it was a miserable failure on every level. Pretty much been alone ever since, save one friend and a couple outcasts who came and went.
>>
>>11291104
>Kinda sucks my mom fought so hard against it, because now sometimes I want to express my feminine side
What sort of feminine side does an ftm have that he wants to express? Pink, makeup, long-hair?
>>
>>11291159

thanks anon

hope things start going well for you too
>>
>>11291269
Nah no makeup. Just slightly androgynous clothing, made from feminine fabrics like silk. Maybe some plain rings. I have long hair but I wear it up for the same reason. She always complains when I put it down
>>
>>11291254
>When I found out I couldn't get HRT because my liver was trashed, I finally tried conforming some but it was a miserable failure on every level.
Shit that is so tough, I’m sorry anon.
>>
>>11291185
This but runescape

i never really did anything specifically masc or fem, i did grow up getting along with girls more than guys for a while, until the whole cooties thing became popular with everyone.
Why do parents give so many shits about their kids hair length? I wanted to grow it out, they refused so we ended up compromising on some absolutely shitty near bowl cut bullshit.
>>
people just thought i was a fashionable gay guy back then
>tfw bi
>>
>>11288806
>>11288862
Ayy low conscientiousness represent. Hyper disorganized, my room always looks like the aftermath of a natural disaster.
>>
>>11277005
I was fairly gender neutral in my interests and whatnot? I hated sports, didn't like stuff like G.I. Joe or Transformers or that sort of stereotypical "boy" stuff. I was mostly just into stuff like Lego or Sonic, watched shows like Kim Possible or Powerpuff Girls or disney stuff. I had long hair, I tended to be very artistic. I was very big on trying to be nice to everyone, was super "loves all animals and nature." Didn't care about being big or strong or any of that. I was huge into cooking.

Most of my friends in my life have been girls. About 2/3 have been girls, more like 3/4 if we don't coutn internet friends. I just always got along with the girls and their social groups better.
>>
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Meh. FTM here. Elementary school I was like a tomboy behaviorally who liked wearing big flouncy velvet dresses with lace collars and reading Sailor Moon and running around in the woods in mud. Then in middle school I didn't know /what/ the fuck to do with my new body and got bullied endlessly for supposedly being a lesbian because I walked like a caveman. But I still liked boys and some girly shit so it took me a while to understand why everyone was calling me a butch dyke.

I've been physically transitioned for a decade now and I'm exactly the same. I still like velvet dresses occasionally, like guys, have some feminine habits, like tromping around in nature, and have body language that's more suited to a man.

I'm very very glad I blatantly ignored everyone telling me I was too much of an Ayden to have surgery and HRT (before Aydens existed in the public consciousness) because it was probably the best decision in my life or close.
>>
Well women aren't interested.
I still live with my parent's in my 20's.
Have no social skills because I'm an ugly guy.
I feel like I tried to make it work.
>>
>>11288806
>>11294132
Link to the first one? The second has it in the picture.
>>
I coped just fine being male, it's why it is such a big shock to anyone I tell. A shame really, being depressed all the time wasn't really noticed.
>>
>>11277005
I basically never was too feminine... the only traits of gender dysphoria recognizable to me were just mental.... it hit me like a brick when I found out what being trans was though.
>>
>>11294767
it's kinda hot thinking of ftms as tomboys but really it's mtfs who are like that except they're male :(
>>
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>>11298507
yeah, I mean, I'm not hoarding that label all to myself. It's just that adults all told me I was a girl and a tomboy so I believed them until puberty made it really obvious something was up with me
>>
>>11298937
i feel like the cis chasers who expect ftms to just be cis girls with short hair. but ftms aren't just boyish girls. mtfs can be in attitude, but they're male...
>>
>>11299031
>NSA hookup with cis guy who obviously thinks FTMs are like cute girls with short hair
>he's shocked by my appearance but wants to go ahead with it
>face in hands afterwards
>um, are you ok
>yeah, that was just...really gay. I didn't expect it to be so gay, and I'm not gay, so...
>Oh jeez, well. Did you have fun? Was it not consensual?
>No no, I wanted to try and it was really good. Just...really gay.
>looks like he's about to cry
>>
>>11299203
>sex with an mtf is a gayer version of sex with a cis girl
>sex with an ftm is even gayer
>>
>>11288882
>she likes the HOL
>she doesn't like the COC
AGP confirmed
>>
>>11299423
This is the funniest think I have read in a while ^.^ Bookmarked.
>>
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>>11288806
Here's my Big 5. I'm mtf.
>>11294132
Extroverts out!
>>
>>11301560
It's okay the high extroversion combined with high neurotocism just means I'm super clingy and drive everyone a way and constantly find myself cripplingly lonely and a desperate need for intimate human contact that can never be satisfied.
>>
>>11301660
Getting a little more serious, extroverts are OK as long as they don't treat me like a disease for being introverted. I've had that happen a lot, but there are genuinely nice people who aren't so judgmental.
I suspect my high agreeableness and openness come across as fake even though they're genuine.
Low conscientiousness = flaky. I guess l have different priorities than highly conscientious people.
My neuroticism is fine, but what I do have shows up mostly as social anxiety, which is the worst.
Add it all up and you get a lonely person, though people think I'm nice and will often confide in me because I'm mostly nonjudgmental. Though I do have my standards.
I see your test uses different labels and has reversed some scales.
You actually seem similar to me, except that we're opposite on extroversion/introversion, and I'm a bit less neurotic.
I suppose it's worse being an extrovert who has trouble connecting to people than to be an introvert with that trouble because the introvert is less needy.
Since your conscientiousness is low, do people think you're flaky like they do me? That can drive people away. It's like people expect you to do things that seem unimportant and not worth bothering with. My priorities seem strange to people.
Sorry for the blog!
>>
>>11278406
>>11288806
>>11301560
We need a Big Five personality test thread
>>
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>>11303375
We've had mbti type threads

Best type ENFJ represent
>>
>>11305070
>tfw am the steotypical tranny mbti (infp)
>>
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>>11305106
hahahaha
>>
>>11305601
>t. also infp
Feels good to be the Dreamer
>>
>>11305601
>Tfw you're full autism ENTP
Please end my life.
>>
>>11305738
Hey, ENFP is one of the best types to be.
>>
>>11305601
Very accurate desu
>t. mtf intp
>>
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>>11305804
>ENTP
>ENFP
What could you mean by this? Am I being insulted?
>>
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>>11305827
Ah, forgive me, allow me to laugh at you

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Well at least you're a 'T' autist not an 'S' brainlet
>>
>>11277005
Does lonely "nerd count" as male gender role?
>>
my parents realized i was super fem pretty young and allowed me the room to express myself (no dresses or anything like that, just whatever toys and stuff i wanted)

my mom kind of took advantage of it and taught me really domestic habits so now i can sew and cook well which i guess is nice
>>
>>11316956
>and allowed me the room to express myself (no dresses or anything like that, just whatever toys and stuff i wanted)
No dresses but whatever stuff you wanted?
>>
>>11305601
I got INFP as well. I guess it is the tranny option
>>
>>11277005
Terribly.

When I came out my parents called me a (((feminine male))) and said that I wasn't allowed to start hormones out of some kind of body-is-your-temple garbage. They couldn't even call me masculine.

I've had long hair ever since elementary school, and I used to bake cakes for the guys I liked in middle school and high school, and I sewed stuffed animals for my friends' birthdays.

Some time in elementary I remember getting into my mom's nail polish and getting beaten for it. And at 10 when I went to my grandma's house I put on her perfume. I never got into sports.

I asked my friends to straighten my hair in middle school but I ended up chickening out.

Not a single one of my friends was surprised -- I wasn't really close with any guys.

>>11278406
I was described as very agreeable in college and am extremely neurotic. though i could really do without the latter.
>>
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>>11301560
Straight MtF reporting in
>>
>>11320915
>>
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>>11301560
mtf bi (don't let the thread die)
>>
>>11321762
lmao
>>
>>11305601
>intp
One week is amateur when family keeps their shit in the bathroom.
>>
>>11277005
INTJ

so, I conformed well
>>
>>11277005
I failed pretty hard as a dude honestly.
>>
>>11326301
how?
>>
I was very goofy and excitable, the class-clown type but equally annoying and funny.

I never liked sports except for swimming, and I didn’t do that competitively. I was that annoying weird kid in middle school, and that shy forgettable kid in high school.

I don’t think a 10th of my classmates from high school knew who I was. I was that forgettable. I didn’t have any friends and no one knew who I was, so I guess I didn’t fit in as a guy or a girl. I was just worthless me.
>>
>>11332617
You sound a lot like me.
>>
>>11277005
Not well.
I was mostly a shut in, though. My step dad had manly man expectations of me. He would get me to do things like mow the lawn or help him fix stuff. It came to a head when I came back to stay with them on my vacation. He had me paint his shed, put down cement for a walkway and chop firewood (for a house that has central heating and air). Since then I refused to ever come back there for more than a couple of days.
>>
>>11277005
Quite badly... I was a flaming faggot so much so to the point that gay guys I thought were super fags all thought I was too feminine even for them.
>>
Pretty good i think, i liked sports and action movies and all that. But on the other hand, my parents has been probing for years, ever since i was a teenager if i was gay or not, so i probably didn't do so well in that department, i was just too scared to start any kind of relationship at the time. Also became more and more of a shut-in as time went on in my teens, mostly due to bad experiences, shitty friends, and low self-esteem while having to deal with the shame of wanting to be a woman. Also getting called not-normal by normalfags at work when i was still repressing i guess was an indicator aswell, probably due to my humor but still.



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