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On the news there has been reports of a person who slays entire families in suburban areas. His kill count is 14. Authorities believe his weapon is a firemans axe.

One night you're home alone, and you hear something downstairs, and realize the killer is in your home. Your cellphone has no reception and you can't get a signal out. And the power in your home is for whatever reason gone.

What would your honest reaction to all of this be?
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Probably get killed because I'm taking too long on deciding which gun to kill him with.
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>>40885306
Shoot him
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>>40885306
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>>40885306
>Retrieve couch gun
>Retrieve couch sword
>Tactically retreat my way to the bedroom
>Power on computer
>Put on "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins on house sound system
>Check home cameras to locate intruder
>Emerge from the shadows and light him up with 15 rounds of Buffalo Bore 10mm and righteous autistic sword blows during the drum solo
>Post feels thread on /k/ because I just killed the only human being that's come to visit me in the last 5 years
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Take my glock with 34 rounds of 9mm out of my nightstand and make sure myself and my family survive.
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This is a stupid question, there is a gun in virtually every room of this house, and like 4 capable men to shoot those weapons.
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>>40885306
Wake up when I hear him cross the tripwire and get a 12 g 00 buckshot center mass from the booby trap. Then go back to sleep. Clean it up in the morning.
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>>40885395
Yes, but have you considered what would happen if you..

Missed?
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>>40885409
>what is magdumping
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>>40885313
fpbp
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>>40885306
Insert that greentext of the guy who has a hi point hidden in every room
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>>40885306
G22 with an inforce light. If I had time I could clear on my PD radio but he'll hear the dispatcher responding and it might give up my element of surprise, but at least backup would be on the way. I'd give him some new assholes, that's for sure.

Also if your HD guns doesn't have a light, get a fuckin light. They're cheap. Don't spend money on another gun or ammo until you get one.
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>>40885306
>retrieve shotgun
>drag bed frame in front of bedroom door
>ready shotgun and point it at bedroom door
>call police because I have a landline phone and those run off power over the phone line
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>>40885306
I have no downstairs I’m on the first floor

Check and mate and checkem
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>>40885306
Your whole post is basically all superfluous details.

>news reports
Probably don't even know about it, I don't follow the news much, usually catch up on weekends. Wouldn't change anything anyway.
>kill count
How would this possibly make a difference? Like, if he's killed 68 people, I'll just let him kill me because "69 lol, get it, as in mutual oral sex"?
>Authorities believe his weapon
Nothing says he doesn't have a backup weapon as well.

>One night you're home alone, and you hear something downstairs, and realize [somebody] is in your home.
Yeah, that bit matters. And it's the only bit that matters.
>realize THE KILLER is in your home
Not sure how I could be certain that were the case, but supposing I could...
Why would it matter? Am I supposed to ask him for his autograph? Or maybe sit around puzzling over why this clown has gone from slaying "entire families in suburban areas" to me, "home alone" in a rural area, until I get my head cleft open with a fire axe?
Nah, I'm gonna grab a gun, go downstairs, and (if he doesn't fuck off first) shoot the intruder, exactly the same as if it was anyone else who doesn't belong in my house.

>Your cellphone has no reception and you can't get a signal out.
How would I even know that? I'm going to shoot him, not text him.
>And the power in your home is for whatever reason gone.
Okay, that one at least could be a complication, but seriously who doesn't have a weaponlight on their nightstand gun and/or at least one flashlight close to hand?
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>>40885547
>serial killer in the crawlspace where you can't get to him
>waiting for you to fall asleep
>that's when he chops his way up through the floor with his fireman axe
perhaps it is you who is checkmated?
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>>40885566
>pokes his head out
>I’ve equipped my dragon dildo brand strap-on and mercilessly begin facefucking him until he chokes to death on his own blood

Still checked
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I defend my dumpster
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>>40885306
This.
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>>40885306
>Grab earpro
>Magdump .308 into his wannabe Hollywood ass with my fucking select-fire M-14 while screaming “CHARLIE IN THE TREES”
>Take pics and shitpost on /k/
>Take corpse to nearby bridge and string him up like a scarecrow to spook local boaters
Ezpz
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>>40885313
Kek
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>>40885395
>living with 4 men
Faggot
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>>40885306
Guns are on the other side of the house, but I do have a golf club in my room. It's whackin' time.
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>>40885359
wow
just wow
like literally
just wow
that is funny
wow
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>>40885395
>you all come out and shoot each other on accident
Brilliant. Deny the murder his pleasure of killing you all himself and ruining his night.
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>>40885306
rape him with my penis
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>>40885306
Kill him with my war hammer
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>>40885306
Be relieved that it is going on in a suburb while I live in the woods. If he wants me dead, he better have either good bait or be able to climb a pine tree 50 feet up before I shoot him with my sks
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>>40885885
Wait a sec, his weapon is a fireman’s axe? He can’t chop a tree down Can he?
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>>40885306
>What would your honest reaction to all of this be?
Marry you regardless of your sex. You will be a multi-millionaire from book sales.
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My quick-open safe under my bed has both a mossberg 500 with 000 and an AR15 (m16a3 civvy clone) with two 40 round mags with zombie max mixed with green tips, and a bayonet.

I think I'll just camp the hallway looking at the top of my stairs with my AR, and give my wife the shotgun.
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>>40885628
>911 what's your emergency
>yea I was gonna murder all these guys then they fucking shot each other.
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>>40885895
No those can only cut down fires
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Call the police, wait however long it takes them to show up once they actually get notified. Get famous on tv advocating for banning firearms and knives after he rapes and murders the women in the family and say it was a misogynistic hate crime to make a bunch of money advocating for that stuff, then live a agnostic hedonist lifestyle never developing any personal responsibility or self agency to confront or deal with any emergency and live as an example as to why nobody else should either.
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>>40885306
>Sleepily fumble for trusty raifu that I have sitting between bed and nightstand because I'm fixing the wall mount.
>put in ear protection from nightstand
>Go low when checking outer hallways
>Ventilate faggot
>Lay down call 911
>Take out all remaining earpro and nap until they arrive
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>>40885306
I laugh as my dogs eat his hands, feet, arms, legs, face...
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Braking into my home and threatening my life would be a huge mistake for someone to make; doesn't matter if it's psychotic serial killer or nigger home invader looking to steal my TV
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRiG-7c9A3c
Crank this up and magdump through the walls and floor.
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>>40885306
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>>40885306
How do I realize the killer is in the house? I'd treat it like I would with any intruder. That's hunker down with gun, or go out exploring with gun.
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>leave door and window and stand in front of the window,letting the moon lay it's light upon me
>when he gets to door, start to talk about how much of a fool he is
>as he takes the next step,turn around, opening my jacket and revealing my perfect body and a nazi machine gun
>laugh as he gets sprayed down by the pinnacle of german engineering,the best in the world
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>>40885395
>4 capable men
It hurts sometimes ?
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>>40885617
Nothing is more satisfying than caving in a man's head with an iron.
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Using a tripwire ETN charge with steel buck to keep the shit out. Only 1 question left : Getting hit by 20-30 steelballs at 5000-7500ft/s means direct knock out or time left to crawl
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>>40885306
Call an ambulance, but not for me.
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Assuming I have a chance to fight...

>let my Doberman and Rottweiler out of my bedroom.
>push my wife across the hall into the kids' room while covering her with my gun.
>post up and wait to see what happens with the dogs.
>If I hear yelping and someone killing my dogs, make a slow advance towards the noise
>find the dogs and hopefully the killer
>shoot him
>if I hear the killer screaming, as my two dogs maul him, rush to the noise and draw down on him.
>let the dogs continue to maul him, don't want to shoot a dog
>if he starts winning the fight, and I get a clear shot, shoot him.
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>>40885306
"DUDE YOU GOT THE WRONG HOUSE I LIVE HERE ALONE. GO NEXT DOOR THERE'S LIKE 8 PEOPLE LIVING THERE."
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>Roll out of bed in my adult footy jammies
>wake my wife and tell her to hide and all 911.
>open my closet, grab my war club made by a giant Samoan named Taufa.
>silently slip into the hall.
>see a man with an axe coming up the stairs
>do a Superman down the stairs
>hope he gets hurt more than me
>break a few things.
>adrenaline keeps me going
>swing wildly, screaming like a pog with its balls in a vice.
>get covered in his blood, and my own semen
>slip and fall
>lay there
>he's still breathing, shallow labored breaths.
>"BABE...I NEED...HELP..."
>wife comes down and sees what looks like an elephant gave birth on the stairs
>"GET...THE...GU-...guu...gu..."
>Wife freaks out and comes back with my shotgun and pulps the guy. Almost shoots me
>cops show up
>get PTSD.
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>>40889870
this is gayer than cuddling with a trap after sex
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>>40885359
>In the Air Tonight
Truly, a Patricians' choice.
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>>40885306
Kill myself so the killer doesn't get the satisfaction
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>>40890075
Impressibebru nipponese resolve
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>>40885306
get a bigger ax
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>>40885306

>Aim shotgun at the intruder
>Blast him
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>>40885566
>fall asleep
>chops his way up through the floor
> wake up
> shoot ax lad
also, he better not take too long peeking around
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>>40885306
Shoot out knee caps with AR. Have some fun with the Kabar. Finish off with the Benelli.
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>Kills families.
>Home alone.
I'm fine I guess.
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>>40891727
This. For all the memeing about shotguns being useless, unless somebody's wearing a vest a blast of 20 quarter inch lead pellets at 1100 fps to the chest is fatal. And if he somehow isn't dead, I've got 4 more of those in the tube and six more on a saddle on the stock.
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I'd probably make him very uncomfortable even though we probably have things in common. What kind of fireman's axe? I prefer actual pulaski's over the typically softer metal "landscaping axe". A light colored wood with thin lacquer makes me diamonds. Synthetic handles are okay but nothing to bring home or show off. Plus, I sleep naked next to loaded firearms. He might find himself staring down a shotgun wielded by naked me while standing on my jizz sock having hear about my taste in pulaski's. It's a recipe for uncomfortable silences.
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>>40885306

Try to decide which caliber to use.

I mean I have 5.56x45 loaded, 7.62x51, or the major FU caliber of .30-06
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Shit my pants, fumble with my gun safe, and if he's slow, I could get a gun out and kill him, if he's fast, I'm gonna be found with a fire ax in my head.

I guess I could conceivably lock myself in the closet and he could try to chop the door down and use that to shoot him, but, how realistic is that, really?
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>>40885617
You get extra XP if you yell "A man chooses, a slave obeys" while you do it.
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>>40892262
>7.62x51, or the major FU caliber of .30-06
Either. There's nothing they can hide behind. If they somehow get back to their car you can Swiss cheese that too.
Neighbors will probably be alright.
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>>40885306
blow his kneecaps out with my PTR and fuck his earhole until his brains come out the other side of his head
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>>40885306
BANG BANG BANG
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Rack the old shotgun. That'll scare him off
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>>40893712
Au !
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>>40886219
Based
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>have dream where I'm in a self defense situation where someone was trying to break into my home
>shoot them
>spend the rest of the dream crying and vomiting and yelling at my retard dad not to touch or fuck with evidence so the asshole DA won't try and charge me for murder because my retard dads fingerprints were on the gun the guy had

All in all I was extremely happy to wakeup especially after realizing I forgot to administer as much basic first aid I could to try and save the dude because I was so shook up.

Thought for sure I was going to jail for murder.
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Shit in my hand and hide and when he walks past put it inside his mask then punch him in the face
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>>40889695
Shit. That cool. I'd sit quietly while my cats use their wall hacks to point me in the direction of the intruder. Then just shoot through the wall or door / wait to confirm target. If I was taking a dump, I'd use the bathroom gun, probably still going to be 1 of 2 cats in john with me.
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Original Night Stalker would break into the houses of his victims hours before and unload every single gun. Several victims reported that he would dare them to take their guns and shoot him, but when they pulled the trigger nothing would happen.
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>>40895076

For that to work I'd have to leave the house.
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>>40885306
>”Alexa, intruder alert!”
>”Alexa, change the light colors to red, white, and blue”
>”Alexa, play The Marine Corps Hymn on full volume”
>”Alexa, say ‘Tally Ho, Redcoat!’
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>>40895076
>hours before.
Shit they'd probably need 2 days and even then it'd be noticed. Creepy though. Thanks
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>>40889620
>Getting hit by 20-30 steelballs at 5000-7500ft/s means direct knock out or time left to crawl
knock out !
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>>40895076
>Night Stalker laughs as my rifle doesn't fire
>stick him with the bayonet
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>>40885306
>affix bayonet to mosin
>charge while screaming random Russian at him
The ammo's not in the same room, so work with what you've got I guess.
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>>40885526
Isn't landline worse because they could cut the lines? Wouldn't it be better to have a cell and emergency battery?
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>>40885306
>afix gas mask
>fix bayonet on black, slavved-out AK
>all lights in home strobe out
>blast the following over speakers while aggressively clearing rooms.
>Make Mr Death proud

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=85HKeb6D6TA
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>>40885404
>go to jail forever in the morning
booby-trapping is illegal, anon
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>>40897505
He could probably put the trap away after the guy gets shot and call the police or whoever, but yeah waiting until morning would probably fuck him over.
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>>40897243
These days they get dug under the ground, nobody is cutting nothing unless they have explosives or an excavator



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