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Few months into my first job and it's a corporate cubicle wageslave nightmare. I fucking hate it. I want one of those meme open floor jobs where everyone talks about being a tranny. How do? Anyone have experience wiggling their way into a FAANG? Will it hurt that I'm a straight white male?
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>complaining about having a cubicle in 2019
just fuck off
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> complaining about having cubicles
cunt i don't even have a desk
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>>68820103
>>68820136
Solid advice folks.
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Poor anon I know the feeling :( just do what I do and bring a textbook and read/learn a subject while you work
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>>68820805
I have the Go textbook by Kernighan and a early 2000s POSIX programming book keeping me busy, but I think Im gonna get fired desu
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>>68820045
>I fucking hate it. I want one of those meme open floor jobs where everyone talks about being a tranny.
Where do you live? I think these only exist in metropolises
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>>68821412
One of [Buffalo|Rochester|Syracuse] in the frozen hellscape known as central new york
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>>68820045
>Complaining about having a job

>Will it hurt that I'm a straight white male?
Ha. HA HA! quit it now...
YOU don't even believe you are straight. we all know you want to be/be with a tranny.
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>>68821460
nah I actually have a wife of 6 years and think trannies should be stomped out, but I want the culture of trannyesque companies like (((Gooogle)))
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>>68820045
>complaining about not having to be put through the worst corporate management meme of all time
Fuck you so fucking much
open offices are hell on earth
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Welcome to most tech jobs. Remember that you can easily dismiss a couple missing months on your Resume, but stay much longer and you're gonna have to write down your current emplyer! Good luck and have fun
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>>68820045
>having the privacy of your own cubicle
>unironically complaining about it
I'll trade you
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>>68820045
>Will it hurt that I'm a straight white male?
No, you and one Asian guy will do all the work while everyone else is busy prancing around destroying the patriarchy.
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>>68821570
>cube
>privacy
my cube is positioned directly in front of my boss' office and my boss' boss' office.
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>>68821485
if true, you would NOT like it there.
you would quit, blow your brains out or go to jail for getting violent with one of those weirdos because they will try to force you to accept and even celebrate their illness.

even if a workplace were open, full of straights, free food, etc... unless it IS a FAANG company, it's likely a startup which is burning cash and will be gone befoe you know it, leaving you seeking a job at the same time everyone else from the failed co is too.
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>>68821435

Go to NYC

t.manhattan open office meme dev
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>>68820045
open floor plans suck. it's hard to get any work done because people are socializing or you have to put up with other peoples' weird desk habits (at a desk or a big shared table). not having your own space is destructive for productivity.
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>>68821706
Even at the meme companies with open floors each person gets a separate desk.
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>>68821728
doesn't help any, in my opinion. open floor plans are for "collaboration" and "better team cohesion". what that really means is, "listening to your coworker's bitchy phone conversation with her mother," and, "my coworker has been telling me about the DVRed game of thrones for 50 minutes"
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>>68821800
Most people wear noise cancelling headphones all day. It's just a cost saving measure. If I had to choice between my own office or $10k extra salary a year I would gladly take the latter.
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>>68821625
hey friend
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>>68821841
i may have to invest in headphones. you're not the first person to recommend that.
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>>68821597
>Cubicle directly next to the higher ups
If it's not a tiny office, then you're being groomed for management. Pay attention to what they do, who they talk to.
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>I want work to be just like highschool where everyone just walks around and talks the whole time
how about you grow up?
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>>68821882
>b
i'm literally 3 months into my first job out of college, you're a fucking idiiot
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>>68821893
t. 24 year old boomer
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Work is supposed to be boring, stop being a typical workaholic that makes their entire life about work, chasing a dream job that doesnt exist.
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>>68821517
This. How do you concentrate in an open space? You can't even talk to people as in serious companies they want to keep silence, so it's more of a psychological torture than anything. I'm 2x more productive in a cubicle or even better, 10x in an office.
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>>68821893
>do no work, talk and walk around all day
Highly paid management position here I come
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>>68821904
Where do you get off thinking you know better then?
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>>68821589
Fucking this. Asian guy working at a company with a "modern culture" here. Me and a couple white dudes are the only ones doing the job in our team, while trannies, women and niggers bitch around smalltalking, smoking outside and browsing Facebook all day. They're never grateful to us and always do the big talking to our bosses. Another asian dude who worked with us tried to rebel by reporting all the shit they did but they accused him of harassing them for being women/diversities (he lost his mind after he worked his ass out and they hugely downplayed everything he did, so he was too rude in the meeting) and he got fired. Good thing he now has his own startup and made quite a lot of money, he fucking deserves it all. It's funny how these "diversity-loving" companies don't consider asian guys as "diversity" when they have to shield their slacker asses
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>>68822072
My office president makes 300k a year and LITERALLY just walks around jerking himself off and seeming important. Holy fuck management is where the real money is.
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>>68822138
Asians are roughly same melanin content as whites at least in the skin, so you don't count as diversity.
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>>68821841
Are closed caps headphones the best you can get? Or are there more isolating ones? Tell me what they are and they'll be on my amazon cart asap
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>>68822165
I use 1000XM3s
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>>68822145
How do you get there though? There's like hundreds of management engineers and I don't think they all become great managers.
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>>68820045
Feel free to join a shifty startup and enjoy having the two people next to you know everything you're doing at all time. Not to mention the smell that will linger from anyone darting remotely near you and bad food at lunch.
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>>68821435
this >>68821625 is terrible advice, do you want to compete with 5 million other 'coders' trying to pay NYC rent. enjoy your ice kingdom, buy yourself something nice.
t. comfy new england meme dev
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>>68822191
Fucking this. I hate smelling shitty lunches people takes to work.
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>>68822179
they seem pretty nice. thanks dude
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>>68820136
could you describe what "cubicle" means then?
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>>68821517
A systematic survey of research upon the effects of open-plan offices found frequent negative effects in some traditional workplaces: high levels of noise, stress, conflict, high blood pressure and a high staff turnover.[15][16]

The noise level in open-plan offices greatly reduces productivity, which drops to one third relative to what it would be in quiet rooms.[17] New technologies like voice-activation and mobile phones also decrease effectiveness in the open-plan setting.[18]

Although promoted as a way to encourage collaboration and increase the group's collective intelligence, open-plan offices are associated with a dramatic reduction in face-to-face interactions, as employees turn to digital communication, such as sending e-mail messages.[3] Open-plan offices have frequently been found to reduce the confidential or private conversations which employees engage in, and to reduce job satisfaction, concentration and performance, whilst increasing auditory and visual distractions.[19][12][20][need quotation to verify]

Open-plan offices have been found to elevate the risk of employees needing to take time off for sickness.[21]

The majority of people working in open-plan offices wish they had more quiet places to make calls or to concentrate on a task.[22]

I've never found Wikipedia to be more relatable.
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>>68822072
How do you get one?
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>>68820045
Save up. Buy a farm. Become a farmer.
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>>68822326
Do as little work as possible, and know what will impress the existing management.
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>>68822271
>that guy who cooks fish in the microwave at lunch
>the kitchen is located next to the open plan work area, or is inside it

4 previous jobs, every single fucking time.
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>>68822326
Know someone already, or suck up extra hard to weak willed managers who hire based on opinion (actual decent managers will hire based on skill)
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>>68822341
last year my gf and I went to an small town (population around 5k) where she spent her childhood and early teens. Dudes woke up like at 5 am, worked their land and cattle until noon and spent the rest of the day chatting, drinking and watching tv or playing cards the rest of the day. Shit made me jelly af
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>>68822396
If it was me, it'd be the reason why I would've switched job 4 times in a short while. Gross.

Also
>those mofos who take their plastic containers with random shit stuffed inside and when they open them it's like they open a fucking coffin for how much it smells bad
am I the only one to think lunch should be a more intimate thing and you shouldn't annoy other people with the smell of your food? Go eat outside for fuck's sake.
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>>68820045
This is a pretty obvious bait thread but I am surprised that nobody has mentioned working from home. Other than needing to assuage the fears of superstitious boomers, and being more likely to get fired for perceived lack of work presenteeism, the job of software itself can be done 100% remotely, and for reasons like >>68822315 it should be.
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>boss tells us the company bought a new office and everyone is moving to it by summer
>it's open office (typical broiler room style)
>tell him if it goes through I'll be heading out
>he just pats my shoulder and walks away
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>>68820103
This.
Fuck you, OP. I would kill for a cubicle.
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>>68822231

How about not be bad? I'm a machine learning engineer and make plenty of salary to live comfortably.

>t.cant cut it
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>cubicle
if you work in a cubicle, odds are you go home to your cuckshed (keep telling yourself that it's a """man cave""" lmao)
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>>68820045
At least you don't have some "open plan office" where you can hear fuckers chewing and smacking their lips and everything
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>>68820045
> Will it hurt that I'm a straight white male?

You are part of the most undesirable hire demographic, ironically you are part of the most capable demographic.
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>>68823296
Reported for hate speech
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>>68823328
The way the world works now, any vitriol directed towards white people cannot be labled as racist or hate speech.
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>>68820045
Elaborate please. Why do you think it is bad to work in a cubicle?
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>>68822271
>it's another curry episode
I unironically became a nazi over this shit. It needs to be fucking illegal to be Indian.
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>>68821435
I live in the 315 just moved back from NYC where I did the meme open floor space at a makeup company as an IT guy. Let me tell you that you don’t want that shit and it’s awful. I would go sit in the server on the floor for hours a day just to avoid that shit. Ate lunches in there too.
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>>68823536
*Server room.
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>people actually like cubicles on /g/

I have never understood this. They are basically wagecages

How do you live without human interaction? i go crazy when people put their headphones on
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>>68824573
It's harder to concentrate.
cubicles > open office
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>>68824573
I would go crazy if I DIDN'T have headphones in my current office environment.

>Work has 'engineer row' or 'Vampire Row'
> We leave lights off because senior engineers like sitting in the dark
>Everyone walks down to the cubicle of the person they need help from, sometimes multiple people join in on working a problem
>Instant Q+A and feedback, great for working through customer problems quickly
>Living hell if you need to get focused work done or study
>Headphones the only real solution to block the noise.

I really like the environment I'm in except when I need to ignore all the collaboration going on around me and focus on something I alone have been tasked with.
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>>68823296
>You are part of the most undesirable hire demographic, ironically you are part of the most capable demographic.
too true

look folks, ya don't have to be born white. in fact many whites as pretty pathetic.

but DaShaun cain't be blazing wid hiz homiez and speling lik diz an expeckin' t'get a gud job. he cain't be frontin' when da innerviewer axe him a queshun.

Pajeet needs to shower, wear deodorant and not poo in street.

poor white folk need to understand the world doesn't owe them anything. get up, get out and produce. the market will pay what you are worth as long as you don't sell yourself short.

in short: the business world is built for producers and leveragers. upper class whites mroe naturally fit this, because many came from it. - all the rest need to adapt to the working world, or STFU.
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>>68820045
>not having your own office
Imagine
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>>68824591
Even better if it's cubicle with door as then every fucking marketing retard don't get impulse to come and ask stupid questions whenever they walk past it.
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>>68821841
>>68821879
>>68822165
>>68822179
>>68822285
Pals, before buying any active noise-isolating headphones GO AND TRY THEM.
Seriously, anc headphones are most most eerie and psychologically uncomfortable thing I've ever tried. Silence they provide are so unnatural that it's really unsettling.
It may not be the case for you, but drop $300 on something that you will never use again is not a smart move, right? So go and try 'em out.
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>>68822425
It's not that impossible of a life to live. Farmlands can be quite cheap in big countries — in some even free, with obligation that you put them into put them into proper use.
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>>68822510
Based
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>>68820045
Cubicles? Wtf? This isn't the 1980s anymore.
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>>68822138
larp
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I work in electronics, we have a semi-open floor. Everyone gets their own desk and a wall or walls of parts. So it's not a cubicle but you do get some privacy. Everyone just wears headphones as well.



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