[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Settings Home
/g/ - Technology

Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.

File: 1473366341247.jpg (7 KB, 203x240)
7 KB
ITT: Tales from IT.

>Be me.
>Work as level 2, mostly helpdesk at 300 user company.
>Indians keep hacking our Office 365 user accounts.
>They download global address list.
>Start calling us, yelling gibberish about phone system every single fucking day for months
>Start spoofing execs in company using hilariously bad email addresses, (EXEC NAME) - info@poomail.com
>demanding people pay them money, send gift cards, etc.
>Threaten to fire people if they don't pay them in gift cards.

File: Rieseita 2.gif (993 KB, 499x208)
993 KB
993 KB GIF
Another one.

>User uses IE for some reason.
>Gets fake Indian Microsoft popup.
>Literally blasts speakers saying pornography virus has been found, you owe us $$$ or we report yu to feds.
>Guy doesn't tell us for 2 days.
>He can't close tab, I have to kill process to get rid of it.
>Doesn't use another browser.

>mid level manager calls me over
>is on phone
>hear be say "yeah nothing happens when I open it either
>watch in a mixture of mild amusement and horror as she's spam clicking a fake invoice sent by a bot spoofing an email address
>both of them kept trying to open it
It's your fault for using PajeetOS. Why do people still use that shit? It has no redeeming qualities.
IT or Comp Sci?

Why not both?
File: wangblows.jpg (48 KB, 355x1280)
48 KB
haha nice maymaying my dude
can i copy paste ?
Windows useds are insufferable.
Fuck off kike, if it got a circuit its technology

Don't @ me homo
File: Z23490.png (484 KB, 546x700)
484 KB
484 KB PNG
>he a joo coz he no like me on gee >:(
How tiresome.
So is there a Back To 4channel version of this now?
Probably. Go find it.
How the fuck are they hacking you? enforce 2fa
They got the domain controller
File: board technology.png (269 KB, 355x1480)
269 KB
269 KB PNG
Don't forget /g/
>be sysadmin for mid-size company
>also do phone support when 1st is busy
>ask user to enter credentials at UAC prompt
>reads his own password out loud while typing it
>"please change your password"
>manager is too pussy to enforce obligatory complexity
got another one
>walk past offices of managers
>literally none of them lock their workspace
>HR manager, CEO, Controlling
>they all leave the sensitive info out to be harvested
>wonder why shit keeps leaking
>just another day in it
I still don't understand how this is an ongoing problem. If this happened at my company no one from IT would leave until the issue was solved. It's not that difficult to get them out
>it's not tech if there's no electronic circuitry in it
File: wall to ethernet.jpg (463 KB, 1052x1621)
463 KB
463 KB JPG
>They got the domain controller

My story
>boss is CEO of our company
>pretty small company, but he is still technically CEO
>thinks hes an expert in computer shit because that's what his company does and muh certs
>still uses vista
>laptop is literally 10 years or more years old
>unless something is completely dead, it werks fine
>everyday is a serious struggle to not use pic related
Bro, we outsourced our support to them
File: download.jpg (67 KB, 640x660)
67 KB
>be me working for aerospace and defense company in germany
>program on the SAP platform for over a decade
>saw in the news how a helicopter crashed because they installed the wrong firmware
>look at the bug ridden program I have to support because some pajeet exchanged euros for his poo
>the program lets you choose which firmware to assign to a certain type of helicopter
>no unit tests written whatsoever
>all the managers are just suits and have no clue about software engineering
>tell them that I want to start writing tests or I quit
>manager tells me that they tried automated tests and it didn't worked out for them
>turns out it was documentation they typed into a web application instead of a word document
>get so far to have a meeting with the customer to implement tests
>after the meeting they just look at me and say we will think about it
>nothing changes
>instead they hire more roaches and pajeets
File: download (2).jpg (8 KB, 225x225)
8 KB
>Sticks are not technology
Like your brain, a brick is not technology either.
>implying executives with no technical knowledge won't fuck up anyways just because you change their OS or browser
It's a lot harder to fuck up on a good OS.
People that technically work for you are ringing people internally trying to scam them? Lol what
Technically they work for the company we farmed out support to, but yes
But bricks are technology. How are artificial building materials not tech?
No circuit
>decide to leave germany because the roaches can't drive trucks very well and almost killed me
>move to switzerland
>start working in energy sector
>tech lead is a fucking pajeet
>his assistant is a fucking pajeet
>all the developers are fucking pajeet
>only me is not
>sit in meetings and don't understand the poo lingo they spout
>and their fucking head shaking, what does that even mean
just want to neck myself at this point
Lmao. Your company deserves everything it gets
Is there work in former Eastern German states? Don’t they hate brown people?
Jesus christ I hope your company dies

Or at least the implosion of your IT gets noticed and they kick the pajeets out - Outsourcing your fucking domain management? Jesus
Thales? Every smoke break I heard those Thales faggots tell stories like this kek
if we go by the stories here on this very thread about people using "12345" as their password, then no, no OS is going to be safe enough if the user is that dumb
okay this is epic
Oh well played Sir!

I wonder how this guy >>68790959 is going.
File: IMG_20181126_174930.jpg (1.15 MB, 2248x2968)
1.15 MB
1.15 MB JPG
Don't put it on the picture if you're too pussy to write the whole word.
File: axulwpsk0ri01.png (1.05 MB, 1920x1080)
1.05 MB
1.05 MB PNG

My boss talked about that weird head shaking too when he had to interact with those subhumans. Every single project where the customer has had anything to do with pajeets has been a complete catastrophe.
>"technology" board
>you're only allowed to talk about what linux flavor of the month you're on or ask retarded programming questions
This board has a collective IQ of less than 200, and 150 of that is my own
>>still uses vista
based and Aeropilled CEO
>Threaten to fire people if they don't pay them in gift cards.
Ok normally these threads are utter garbage but these got me
>new printer arrives
>attempt to set up new printer
>need to install new drivers
>cannot install new drivers because you need to be an administrator
>forced to call IT for help
>Pajeet answers the phone
>I tell Pajeet exactly what the problem is and what can be done to solve it
>Pajeet still insists on following whatever script he has and wants to sign in through teamviewer to do it himself
>Tell Pajeet that our computers don't have Teamviewer
>Pajeet wants me to install Teamviewer
>Boss snatches the phone and yells at Pajeet that we can't fucking install Teamviewer because we aren't administrators
>Pajeet has to consult with the chief Pajeet
>Pajeet gives us their administrator login information so I can install the shit
>Write down the name + password and use his account whenever the fuck I feel like it
you threatened pajeet and he gave up, breachin protocol?

typical poo in loo
Fucking lmao'd at the idea of my company's CEO sending broken English emails demanding Steam gift cards or he'll fire people.
>be me
>software dev in German mechatronics company
>70 employees
>all white employees except for a brown cleaning lady and a Chinese software dev
The only problem we have is people from marketing selling more machines than we can realistically produce and support.
Head bobbing is a non-affirming "I'm listening" motion, like nodding without the potential for someone misunderstanding it as a "yes"

Indians are the scourge of this Earth. We should nuke that place.

Ps. China also. Imagine if THOSE people spoke English? Jesus fuck, that would be India 10x
The impersonation attacks. Fuck. All our external emails have subject line tagged [External] and if the name is made to look like an internal name, the body is tagged with
> SUSPICIOUS: this email matches an internal name but is not from an internal sender. This may be an attempted impersonation.
In bold

People still try to wire them money or finally notice, once they ask for iTunes gift cards.
>People still try to wire them money or finally notice, once they ask for iTunes gift cards.

Why do they do this? I don't understand. What are their explanations?
Usually they haven't answered people when those people have asked, but they always impersonate c-suite/director level people. And people get scared I guess. It's funny because one exec got filled by someone impersonating the person in the next office over. The impersonator mentioned being "out of the office". You could hear him on the phone. He was not a quiet man.
Soon enough gonna have cheap Chinese knock offs undercutting your business.
> All our external emails have subject line tagged [External]
Must be nice when your email server is inside the organization and all outside connections to 25 port aren't trusted.
I am dealing with an identical issue at one of my clients, does anyone know if GSuite has a more effective spam filter, I have been thinking about migrating them to it.
>about to start new dev job
>bro CTO tells me devs get macs or ubuntu
>Ask HR lady if I can talk to IT
>They call me up
>um... anon, we only give out macs now because X1s turned out to be really finnicky with ubuntu
>can't we work something out?
>settle we'll have a followup conversation in a couple of days
>okay anon we decided we'll just give you a dell they work fine with ubuntu
Thanks IT lady you're the best
*ticks force password change box"
File: wojak[1].jpg (44 KB, 1600x900)
44 KB
i wish i had an it job
i sent over 200 applications and i get rejected all the tiem :(
That's a pretty good problem to have.
Wtf post your motivational letter and we give tips
According to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RaBxH_MKQI and some other video it could also mean fuck all inbetween.
I've also been applying for months.
>so why do you want to work here
>I like [what they are doing] because [something about their customers] and you LITERALLY are housed across the street
>yeah, but why here
>10 days later
>well, we reviewed all applications and we liked you and you are very skilled, but we didn't find your motivation to work here strong enough
How do you even win from these HR people.

Not him but in my experience it just makes your manager's boss complain that you aren't working hard enouigh to meet the number sales pulled out of their ass.
Look competend and happy! Life is fckn awesomme!! And I am going to work with effing IT . That should be ur attitude. Ow and treat HR like a friend.
Use the word Dalit in your correspondence with the frequently. They love that shit.
> /g/
> forgets to show the guys cock in his stockings
Fire the chink ASAP, he is leaking everything to China.
Maybe pay the cleaning lady to file a rape attempt accusation?
>still uses vista
Hope much are you paying for extended patch support?
Lmao, dumb cracker jobs.
File: 1521692830767.jpg (33 KB, 652x315)
33 KB
>One of the most critical servers in a Windows environment
Good Lord, man. On the bright side, you won't be blamed for this.
Last interview I had they asked me that, "Why do you want to work here, besides to add experience to your CV?"
I mumbled the same thing but reworded, then they caught on so I said I'm also into Android apps that they were making, and wanted to learn that. Good thing there was also a guy there, he wanted to continue the interview when the woman said she doesn't see a need to do so. Got the job and it's been great since, but I hate the HR speak, what a useless set of words, just like legal talk, but at least that helps you in life.
Fucking lmao
My mother is an X-ray tech for a large regional hospital. Her IT sends out similar emails every so often to test if people will fall for them and if they do, require them to take a class. She has taken the class 3 times since they started 6 months ago and is scheduled to take another. I like the idea in general, but damn some people are dumb!
Epic bro, linux is the only cool os
I love this so much. My org requires people to take training at least once a year and definitely before they even get computer access, but you still get the occasional dumbass trying to get on to a porn site or gambling site.
*sets password policy*
>be neet artist at parents' suburban home
>they subtly suggest i move the fuck out
>move out into the city, easily get a job because I'm a photoshop genius
>it's fulltime ad manufacturing for a office supplies webshop
>IT is full of old clueless fucks except for one semi-competent guy
>company runs on some DOS software, only interface is through a custom-made patch created 20 years ago so MSaccess can read its DB
>everything is slow and there's a whole department re-typing orders from the webshop
>I churn out ads faster than the boss can come up with them
>IT manager quits and the semi-competent guy gets his position
>he actually does well and helps me initiate multiple transitions into some automation
>I learn php and webdev on the fly, upgrade the archaic webshop with modern jizz like tags, coupons and dynamic pricing, create fast as fuck DB management tools using fucking Flash and generally overshadow the entire IT dept
>when I suggest we transition from the DOS shit onto something modern and fully automated the boss panics
>the entire company wants the transition, everyone loves my tools (I gameified many workflows), people get hyped
>boss is bullied into accepting
>I create a monster of a transition tool with quadruple-checking of every dataset
>month of deployment draws near
>I demo the transition tool and the automated business management software to everyone in the meeting room, the whole process is almost automated and takes about 8 minutes after the DOS db is dumped into a prepared set of mysql tables
>hype, applause, people getting excited to do more than just re-type orders all day
>targeted transition date draws near
>boss gets cold feet, no transition happens
>lets me go with a 3 month notice
>everyone is bummed out
>boss blames my "incompetence"
>secretly tells IT manager he's afraid of me becoming irreplaceable
>IT manager tells me about it
>quits a month after I'm gone himself
>they're still on dos and near bankruptcy
>idgaf, own my own business now
How my Poles/Ukrainians/Etc.?
>neet artist
I was just drawing eechi shit for paypal funds to finance my videogame addiction.
The point was that I started out with a decent skillset in art / graphics.
Le clever response
*kill the boss and takes over the company*
Shut the fuck up joe lmao
burger, switzerland is not a "former eastern german state"
That’s not what I meant. You should move to East Germany.
>frequently get mail attacks from god knows where, often to a handful of users, every once in a while to whole company
>one notable one was spoofed email from wrong domain posing as CEO asking recipients to go buy them 1200 dollars of iTunes Gift Cards asap etc etc
>three people actually were on the way to buy the cards.
>we were able to respond fast enough, we broke up responses across the department so we could get as many as possible informed/taken care of
>I happened to get one of the guys that was driving to get them
>asks me if I'm kidding
>after he realizes he fucked up, thanks me like 15 times
>still jokes with me about it every time I see or talk to him.
>its been like 4 months

Nice dude for real tho but like jfc seriously?
>year is 2014
>my first dev job fresh out of college
>small government agency 100+ employees
>hired to complement existing 3 senior developers
>ezpz im just getting experience and gtfo as quickly
>about 5 systems planned, 1 on implementation
>current system is a document tracking made on php 2.4
>they developed it for 6 years
>no version control, they are editing directly on samba share
>no dedicated server, apache and mysql is installed on the director's computer
>no diagrams, flowcharts, unit tester, system analyst, designer, etc..
>project manager is as old as COBOL
>i think i know those things above must exists because i got interviewed on other companies
>'this is bullshit'
>convince project manager to get servers
>force the team to use gitlab community running of in a VM, use latest php, frameworks(this is hard), etc..
>took me a month of reading to setup auto devops, testing and deployment pipelines on VM's
>everything works flawless
>with auto backup, load balancing, failover clustering
>teach them how to restore database, reset password,etc.. if something goes wrong
>fast forward today, 4 systems on implementation and 1 on development next year
>i already filed my resignation this month because got better offer
kinda feel sad tbqh
Good work
I thought Switzerland was one of the hardest countries to immigrate to, how is it full of poos?
Do they do it when you give a talk to a room full of Pajeets? Must be unnerving as fuck.
I tend to follow up a email on everyone when theres a spam and malicous shit that goes through
CIO is already blaming everyone down the report structure
>be neet artist
You mean “faggot.”
I've been working in IT for 10+ years and honestly this shit is so commonplace I don't even fucking notice it anymore, that's how bad and fucked up things are. I should've written a book when it was still my first couple years and I saw all the problems with everything, now i'm just completely blackpilled and don't care at all.
literally me
what's a motivational letter? you mean resume?
What is it a technology board and not a linux/ programing board?
>what's a motivational letter?
I think you might be doing applications wrong
cover letter?
Our sysadmin usually handles those, I'm basically tier 1 with some network support.
If it's really big the IT director will handle a mass email to the company saying "recently emails blah blah use common sense and call IT blah blah serious risk"
>dont be me, be a spook, be someone else
>youre an architect hired for level 3 stufd for a team so small that untriaged help desk stuff lands on your lap on a daily basis.
>government. so nobody gets fired ever
>intelligence. so 15% of the staff do 90% of the work, and only 1/3 of them (5%) actually understand it but they're not allowed to discuss it.
>board of directors all careerists who havent made real moves or published papers since the 60s, with tech skills to match
>one or them gets a spam email with an obvious link to a cryptovirus. wasnt caught by spf rules and its just a fucking web link.
>proud careerist forwards it to everyone on some 'look what i found, folks' type shit.
>multiple end users misconstrue, click link, and their workstations as well as their shares become encrypted.
>you tell level 2s to to start recovering file server 1a amd 1b from backups. 2 looks fine, thank god.
>manager gets huffy when i order level 1s to canvas the building, unplugging and tagging infected machines
>you receive a phone call from sister agency. our board member didnt just use the internal DDG, he disseminated the cryptovirus to other agencies.
>i advise huffy manager who puffs up at me so i walk downstairs, request my phone from security, and go buy a pack of smokes for the first time in years.
>smoking cigg nunber 2 i browse /g/
>don't be me
Thales can't hire poos because muh security clearance.
File: 1543223428024.jpg (146 KB, 1024x576)
146 KB
146 KB JPG
forgive the typos. dont usually mobile post.
Do you work at the Connecticut sikorsky(lockheed) plant? Just curious.
Cover letter, motivational letter dude. Just send it
File: IMG_20181206_153107.jpg (293 KB, 1918x1080)
293 KB
293 KB JPG
>work for IT on uni
>adobe license expires immediately
>200 calls in 4 hours
>only 5 people on phones
>nobody gets anything done
>boomers think .PDF is a proprietary adobe-only extension
>all classes come to a screeching halt during finals week
>have to walk 50~ tech illiterate boomers through changing their default file associations on wangblows to use (((google chrome))) to view PDFs
>create help article for others to use
>install libre office on all computers I help
>get promoted for damage control
>pic related
fuck off, Reich
File: 1506598288502.jpg (114 KB, 634x617)
114 KB
114 KB JPG
>people do this
>change wallpaper to the most gay shit
>they get bullied
>everyone now locks their computer
i enjoy every bit of it
I'm thinking of doing IT for a few years to save up money for a physics / math PhD, should I?
File: untitled (5).jpg (1.24 MB, 3044x2755)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB JPG
This is the solution. Used to work at a place that had a culture of hoffing - doing all kinds of shit related to David Hoffman or whatever his name is - and while ever now and then you'd see a message along the lines of "I love the Hoff" in the group chat, no incidents ever happened.
That being said everyone got hoffed at one point or another, even the CTO who was also the security lead, so I guess human nature always prevails
>boomers think .PDF is a proprietary adobe-only extension
To be fair it's not a particularly illogical thing to think, if you don't know about formats. I'm sure adobe would love it if they were right, too.
That's why we use smartcards for the office doors and the computer login.
You get paid less around here compared to western Germany. But yes, less foreign workers, especially in IT - There's only one in my Office and he is Portuguese, living here for 20 years.
Fucking poos
I'm this case you use TeamViewer QS, then login with the administration account to escalate it and then install TeamViewer host
i hand-tailor the cover letter for each position i apply to.
you're part of the problem
buy and install nitroPDF or foxit phantom
File: 1479426413473.jpg (1.74 MB, 3000x2500)
1.74 MB
1.74 MB JPG
i forgot to post the part 2 like a dumbass
ich bin ein berlina
Living the dream.
No system is infallible including brains.
They need skull hardening, bring me the hammer.
File: 1532636264509.jpg (20 KB, 279x302)
20 KB
>small business
>paying for support of any kind
Fucking this.
I work at a big multinational Telcom company, and when someone leaves their workstations unattended and unlocked, we flock on it like fucking vultures on a dead niglet, and write the most embarassing shit in the company Jabber group chats, like

>I'm a huge flaming faggot, and if I'll bring cake for everyone tomorrow, if not, you're allowed to slap me in my stupid face

After 3 months of us starting this in the company, unlocked WSs became a really rare sigh.
The architect where I worked just used ctrl+alt+delete to "lock" his laptop, his personal assistant invited the department to a ctrl+alt+delete pizza party under his account.
Had it scheduled in the calendar and he actually paid for it
>download adobe reader x 10

had me in stitches, whether or not any of this shit is true is irrelevant, the delivery is damn good
>flight school, moonlighting in environmental services
>no IT support on site, ad'hocing the few things
>preaching a some lite linux
>leaving memos about privacy in everyone's box bi-weekly
>adobe reader acting up
>need 4 monitors
>password rotation on a goose chase policy from HR
>proactive IT sends preemptive tickets
>I have never worked in an enterprise environment
File: images(3).jpg (19 KB, 550x455)
19 KB
>receive e-mail from ceo asking me to buy $2k in itunes gift cards
>ignore that shit and go back to work
>next day the ceo asks where the gift cards are
>Not asking where the money is
File: 10500424-3x2-940x627.jpg (128 KB, 940x627)
128 KB
128 KB JPG
>not having 2k in Petty Cash or having a corporate card for the office that has over a 2k limit on "Misc Expenses"...

Do you guys work at small town hardware store or smth?
If you Vlite/Nlite the shit out of it, Vista can be very nice, actually.
Now thats progressive!
File: 1396575867078.jpg (12 KB, 268x262)
12 KB
>work in NOC
>change my browser and email color themes to be easier on the eyes
>"Woah anon how'd you make your computer look like that?"
>Why do people still use that shit?
Because it's literally the second most popular OS on the planet right behind Android. It works. It's supported. It's useful. Fucking deal with it
>Hurr Durr Applel bad may may
Get laid you fucking failure
You're trying to use reason and logic to debate an evangelical freetard.
I can think of very few worse uses of your time and energy.
They have non-immigrant guest workers.
It isn't when management doesn't understand how your performance metrics work and constantly misinterpret them despite being repeatedly reminded of how they're supposed to be read. It doesn't matter that your sales and orders are literally 200% of what your department was forecast or that the budget for employees is based on that forecast, the only thing that matters is that by their broken and incorrect interpretation of performance metrics, you can still be doing more.
*writes passwords down on sticky note attached to monitor*
File: 1543266788171.jpg (54 KB, 781x1024)
54 KB
My grandma is an X-ray tech and she called me crying because an email said that her Windows had been HAXXORED and she needed to wire money to India.

I tried to convince her that it was fake, but she wouldn't believe me because it had her NAME in the email (not that impressive because the email adress is her name). Eventually she was about to cry because she can't do banking on her computer because they'd steal her money.

I didn't really know what to do and I had finals week. I tried to talk her though installing malware bytes on the phone, and it was pretty difficult. After FINNALY installing it, she ran a scan and had malware!! I asked her to send me a picture and it was some sort of adware that came from a free online game site three years ago. I found out what kind of popups that generated, and it turned out she was getting those, but thought it was a microsoft service. In fact, she is entiry convinced that the malware it detected was the hacker from the email and that I was wrong.

At my wits end, I asked her to forward me the email. I then LARPED tracking down the sender and DDOSing their hacker sever and eventually reverse hacking them while they were distracted, and gaining root access to ALL their computers and changing their computer voltages to destroy all of their stuff and end this hacker terror forever.

I thought this was over with my dramatic nonsense story, and in a sense it was because my grandma was convinced of her safety. However, when I visited her, it turns out that she had bragged to EVERYONE in her small town about it.
Hey at least not you gets to glow in the dark
If you like doing your dissertation defense from a nursing home, go for it
the hacker known as four chan strikes again
>receive ticket, lady can't send emails
>I tell her "alright lemme see, have you tried closing outlook and then opening it again?"
>her response is no, obviously.
>does as I command
>it fucking works
>"OMG anon thanks a bunch! "
This is about 60 percent of the tickets I receive, with minor variations, such as deleting the profile and then adding it again.
this but unironically
File: strayans.jpg (60 KB, 817x99)
60 KB
Having to use something != Wanting to use something.
Fucking this
>sysadmin course at school
>teachers actively check laptops for unlocked shit
>every offense gets you a gayer background than previous
People learned real quick to lock their shit
>me cs101 at uni, 1st day, circa 2008
>lecturer: old battleaxe - probably was the handfeed the punchcards grill
>"TURN YER FUCKEN PHONES OFF!" "If you get a call or txt I'll take yer phone off ya and do shit with it!"
>couple of weeks in, pajeets phone chirps..
>Ollroigt, hand it over. And yer wallet"
>Imran looks around unsure and "C'mon hurry the fuck up m8!", hands his phone and wallet over
>she goes to her bag, fishes out Chinese restaurant menu flyer, digs ranjeet's visa card out of his wallet
>"Yer, g'day I'd loike to order some vegie chow mein and a large special fried rice. Any of you cunts want anything?"
>"oh yeah, that 1234567891011, the expiry is 12th of 09"
>"About halfa?, Noice - we're at 123 Auscunt Uni Drive, Aussie Uni, Fuckoffwerefullland."
>"Cheers m8."

Not really that ict connected but fucken funny. She rang her mum in Taswegia a couple of times as well.
I have a story about how I've indirectly saved some random guy's job with my autism
>be comp sci student and kinda autistic since forever
>my dad is also a weirdo programmer
>mom is used to this, she knows how to deal with us
>she is an English teacher that goes to big companies to teach their employees
>one of her students recently hired an IT guy but is already thinking of firing him because "he walks weird" and some other dumb reason I can't remember
>mom says all IT people are like that, and explains how to deal with it the same way she deals with me
>apparently everything worked out, the guy kept his job and the boss is no longer bothered by his autism
threaten them back that you'll send them porta potties
File: 1525589287158.jpg (732 KB, 1080x1080)
732 KB
732 KB JPG
Chink is female.
No, Richard. Just Linux.
Those work on construction sites or steal cars.
It's not like pajeet is actually exploiting vulns. All of these "hacks" are because users see an email that says "download this attachment and run it", and they actually do it. If they were running Linux then you could just tell them to copy/paste a command into a root shell. They will. Users are retarded.
File: pobrane (3).jpg (5 KB, 192x144)
5 KB
Made me spit my pickle on the tablet, you asshole. :)

Stay jelly, nazi fuck. I don't have to brag how good Polish coders are, everyone knows this.
File: 1529617269023.png (362 KB, 1053x1080)
362 KB
362 KB PNG
I'm just messing with you, I quite like Poland and its people. You should learn to handle bantz better.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as a fact.
>>Be me
who else are you going to be you unstoppable twat
>>three people actually were on the way to buy the cards.
I honestly can't believe this.
It just sounds so absurd.
File: pobrane (1).jpg (8 KB, 252x200)
8 KB
>Shiiite, I got triggered. :)

Guy is probably right about that chink though.
>he doesn't really know how greentext works
Seems like an odd thing to try and give OP shit about.
Pretend you're applying to 4chan and upload your fucking letter then.
>If they were running Linux
Like Android?

n-.. no.. i dont want to feel this feel again
I used to open notepad and copy paste

Change font and size to something ridiculous
lost me at flash.
Nicolas Cage's face as the background is where it's at.
Dear friend.
Probably wouldve been worth at least the due dilligence follow up. Their phone or computer might've been compromised
Have to send out multiple emails a week reminding people that people calling them saying they are are owner of the business and giving the wrong name are not the owner. I don't know how retarded you have to be to think the owner of a multi million dollar company would need 500$ of visa prepaid gift cards.
I feel this anon.
> changing their computer voltages
Sure thing, pal. It's not like it was believable before, but you just destroyed your own story.
I saged this REEEE how did you respond so quickly.

How can anyone not hate indians.
Don't ever treat them like a friend of they are at all competent they know to be suspicious of any friends.

Honestly that's just HR speak for either someone was willing to work for cheaper and has roughly your qualifications, or you came across as someone who would lead the second a competitor offers about +20%on salary
>Ow and treat HR like a friend.
>phone rings in class
>professor demands phone
>pajeet hands over phone and wallet instead of telling teacher to suck his dick
Are Pajeets usually this spineless?
You don't have root by default in Android so it's harder for a user to rape themselves. People still sideload malware all the time because they're dumb.
「 D O T A 」
File: 1522547421407.jpg (57 KB, 700x524)
57 KB
>you forgot how their wives and daughters are sent hier to dance naked, massage old men, suck dick and also steal cars
absolute state of eastern Europe
David Hasselhoff
I never knew this was a thing...horrifying.
They have to leave, now
>someone who would lead the second a competitor offers about +20%on salary
isn't that 100% of the workforce?
File: 1543933951388.png (121 KB, 824x1084)
121 KB
121 KB PNG
Legit chad
File: 1373820251569.gif (988 KB, 500x281)
988 KB
988 KB GIF
what do scammers do with all those itunes music buying cards?
>company moves production to another state every year for 4 months to avoid freezing weather
>basically a big cluster fuck for the first week, but then I'm essentially sitting around doing fuckall supporting just the office workers.
>sitting about one day, been a good week, did maybe 10min work on Tuesday or so
>first get a text containing a pic of a screen with NTLDR is corrupt reeeee
>then a call
>"hey we had a power short on this industrial machine blah blah"
>one of three machines
>it's a busy week too
>tell them restart it and see what it does
>get about 20 emails and calls from various people about what to do
>call gender of the machine
>"uhhhhh it could be one of 50 different pcs and we dunno"
>book my flight about 10am
>still trying to get anyone to even open it and snap some pics of it
>leave around noon and go home
>toss every single fucking thing I can think of into my bag
>scsi, ide, Sata, various drives, pcmcia cards, zif adapter
>catch flight at 4
>my bag gets rescreened about 5 times and I have to explain to them what a fucking hard drive is
>land in the other state at like 9pm
>547 missed calls
>go steal a random company car from the lot
>turns out to actually belong to our company this time
>drive straight over to the factory and walk straight in over to the machine
>realize it's fucking cf card.
>walk straight back out and go buy a stupid adapter from Walmart
>come back, plug the card into my laptop
>"Winblows has detected an error on drive ASS:\"
>"press here to try to fix"
>take backup of drive can't complete due to filesystem error
>press fix drive
>it fucking does
>pop the card back in and windows xp boots up like normal
>go back outside and tell people it is no longer broke
>sit there for a while
>didn't actually really think about that I am going to a different state
Probably the most eventful day of my current job.
I could probably write up 50 stories about this job desu.
>hey anon it's hr, we need a huge fucking copier for our two employee office in the middle of nowhere
>how about that giant lease one we got last year
>"reeee yes"
>"fine we'll get someone else to get it"
>no you wont
>let the someone else know that they are idiots and to let me find a solution first
>pull up invoicing for the copier we rented last year
>$3000 for 5 months
>go straight to managers with this
>hand them paper and say no
>"looks like you have a budget of 3k to go buy a machine"
>about a week goes by, pretty much exhausted my options, the stupid small leased machine I tried to put there broke as well
>not helping my case
>about a day before I leave back home
>pull up Craigslist lmao
>actually find some guy selling off leases for cheap
>fucking nearly brand new machines for less than a grand
>call them immediately and start walking out to a truck
>their ad was bs and they're actually about 4 hours away in another city
>can you deliver
>"sure, when"
>"neh maybe"
>tomorrow comes by, they actually had to go past the location anyway so ok
>they drop off and set up this giant stupid copier
>like the most basic ass full standing copier
>it only prints like 30ppm too lmao
>hr is content at least
>check usage on the machine today after about a few weeks
>they printed 800 pages
>in 25 days
Honestly want to buy like 5 more because they are actually pretty cost effective as long as they don't break something.
Same office
>moving a couple of employees into a new office
>need to get internet to them
>office is in the middle of a field and 5 miles from town
>previously they were in a shit office that was close by New one
>they used a local wisp for it and it actually didn't work
>like last year I found where their tower was with the aid of the fcc and did math and testing on the link.
>they had about 15% fresnel clearance because the earth was in the way
>it would actually drop off constantly because the very apex of it is a highway and trucks will break line of sight.
>they actually installed this and we paid for it.
>anyway, go to managers with a quote for a 90ft freestanding tower
>they reject my proposal for some reason
>well there's dialup or cellular
>both garbage
>call up a satellite internet provider
>explain to them that we need a full time vpn tunnel
>they say sure itl do
>they install the service
>it won't do
>its actually the most autism service in the world
>like the software, the hardware, everything's a bit how ya going
>everyone now gets to use shitty vpn clients on their laptops
>design up a solution using a openvpn tunnel and a little bit of routing table magic
>"nah, she be alright"
>contemplating just fucking doing it anyway
>effort though
>not putting a bomb in your phone so any outgoing calls sets it off
No, lots of good goyim are "loyal" to the company they work for
Moar pls dad
I'm loyal to the one who pays the most
that's how it works
>be me, tier 3 support
>help tier 1 transfer calls & help tier 2 answer calls
>my company opened an office in africa
>these niggers are worthless and can only be tier 1, as they're too dumb to train up
>we did a report of long calls in lower tiers
>one particular nigger in tier 1
>racking up dozens of hour-long calls each month
>his longest call last month was 3 hours
>his only fucking job is to transfer calls
>pick a call at random to listen to
>client tells him the issue, he says he will look into it
>sits in silence for 45min, doesn't even put the client in hold
>"OK ma'am I need to transfer you to our advanced team"
>customer flips out, asks what he was doing all that time
>he just cuts her off by transferring
An absolute fucking legend! Every time i tear up while reading this.
>Getting involved with tier 1 and 2 calls when you're tier 3
Respect to you, anon
>a building slightly burned at our factory
>fiber lines running past the spot that burned got pretty melted
>no one really knows how the fiber works there so we all assume it used the other line that goes through the other part of the building
>mostly because that line was melted to shit so
>about 3 months went by and a lot of construction to repair the wall
>no issues with connection
>about 5pm on 4th of July I get a call
>"hey, we uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh don't have internet at our potato site"
>"come fix it kthxbye"
>son of a
>drive an hour out to look at it
>as it fucking turns out...
>the mostly melted fiber line was the line in use and it was working this whole time still
>a bag had blown into it and tangled with it, and strong winds pulled the line off the steel beam it was resting on
>it didn't break completely, but probably shattered the now brittle glass from the shock of falling
>and its fourth of july
>everything is closed
>angreyly just stretch a cat5 cable from one side of the warehouse to the other, straight fucking shot along the floor
>overlength by probably 100ft
>put cones every fucking where to keep people from running it over
>the half ass fiber run used to go to a media converter and run copper for the last 200ft
>end up putting my little 4 port hub in its place to connect the new floor line to the cable going to the office
>one problem
>I don't have a ac adapter anywhere for the hub
>only a USB cable
>plug a USB power bank in and call it good, probably will last long enough
>the overlength wire doesn't play nice with the hub though
>timing issues are causing about 80% errors
>on a 10mbps hub
>just fucking leave
>they keep calling saying that their computers are running a little slow
>tell em nothing can be done till tomorrow
>a Chinese software dev

I'd be fucking pissed to come in on a holiday.
Why would a cock be that far down?
>"The fuck are you fags doing working on the 4th of July?"
>"Go fucking home, ya cucks"
>hang up
All our employees are Mexican so they get the 5th of May off instead
This one is a while back but eh
>First real big IT job super excited
>sit down with the SysAdmin go over all the specs and shit of their network
>it's a huge mess, servers and users on same subnet all users have the same password a single space
>oh boy lotta work to be done here...
>go into server room ready to see the mess
>notice they have a storage array not mentioned
>weird local drive configurations on the hosts
>ask about it "oh yeah that's our main storage appliance hosts all our data"
>oh cool can i look at the configs and check the hot spares
>points to a box on the floor there are our hot spares
>see the management IP on the device go login default user/pass
>raid 0
>fucking raid 0
>ask the shit this is about "oh well we needed the most space and fast, don't worry we have spares"
>explain raid 0
>lol anon no it's in raid and we have spares we are fine
>work this job for about 6 months or so constantly bringing up points
>after 6 months realize no one wants to change decide to look for new work
>find it
>1 month after I left a drive failed all data gone
>company closed a few months after
>stupid industrial machine breaks
>different one then the last one
>it's not out of state though
>I have to come over and help them figure out why it's not working
>immediately find out it isn't reading air pressure
>oh that was easy, bye
>"no no, it always says 0bar, that can't be why"
>you wot
>like you really wot
>like that's a vital thing to have to control the amount of air it releases
>fuck around verifying everything else
>They keep trying to calibrate it for some reason
>finally go look at what they're doing
>oh that should not be saying that because it sho-
>main belt speed sensors reading 0 m8
>spend like an hour trying to find where it is
>eventually find it under some shielding on the back of the motor
>cunts fucked, full of water
>smack it around some and it works intermittently
>actually working with them with tools to take this machine apart and get it off
>not possible to get another one today
>get it next day (Saturday)
>only its delivered to my house
>have to drive down on a Saturday
>and help install this
>annoyingly I'm better at working on the machine then the mechanics (they probably just don't wana fug it tho)
>have to slap that shit together and make sure it's working.
>it works fine
>they're still amazed it took me all of about an hour to find the exact issue on a massive machine knowing nothing about it prior.
>if I had a scope, could have proved undoubtedly that it was the issue instead of being pretty sure the whole time

Keep in mind my actual job is just IT support.
This isn't surprising. Normies are blown away by basic debugging techniques.
dude you're getting a dell
I have one more on those machines, but here's a different one
>we have like one single software solution for every single thing we do in the factory and in the office
>basically a db server and a really nice custom front end
>we've modified it a lot as well
>spending all day trying to get a new modification working thst the vendor sent over
>finally get it going
>basically my fault as I stored my modifications in the same library file as theirs, and shit overlaps and breaks
>it all seems working fine
>so about a week and a half later
>yo so uh
>everything they've sent out in the mail for the past week and a half to vendors and shit is all fucking wrong and unusable
>wrong ID being printed on it
>which is a modification I did
>oh fug xdxdxd benis OK I fix
>they basically have to reprint everything and resend it
>it's already like 3 so just reverse everything I did
>after 5 now, but call them anyway and try to get them to test it
>no answer
>probably fine, seems fine
>go hit the bar and get full fucking drunk
>it's about 8, they call me
>"hey it don't work, we need this like first thing tomorrow"
>sure thing I'll fix it right away
>fuck fuck fuck fug xD whad do
>Uber home
>pull out labtop
>takes 5 minutes to even type my log in
>reverting didn't work, so I most modify it and merge the two files again, just gotta change some of the code
>the struggle
>completely hammered drunk
>not sure how, but actually get into the files with the custom writing tool thing
>remember I just need to change a 6 to a 7 to give it 7 colums
>this takes like 20 minutes (40 lines of code)
>save it
>can't not work now
>I call them no answer
>nod good
>try to test it myself
>spend forever trying to install anything that would give me a virtual printer
>print out a random ass one and it comes out correctly
>just fucking turn off computer and go to sleep
>wake up to no calls
Still not sure how I merged the two files and code, and remembered the modifications that I did a year ago
>he thinks his opinion matters
Never happens with me lad
these fucks don't use their computers right
>oh fug xdxdxd benis OK I fix
I like that attitude
OK really recent one
>they moved the factory again
>I'm down there anyway though because setting it up
>"hey uh, machine font work"
>error for shielding sensor
>oh it must be for like the tilt down or the safety shield
>spend about an hour or so testing it and trying to jumper it out
>pretty disinterested in it all though so it takes a while
>kinda got other shit to do
>suddenly come to the realization that it's the sensor within the actual box thing
>the box thing that's completely sealed and actually nitrogen filled and very fucking expensive
>undo all 300 bolts to remove cover A
>pop off rhe cover
>never actually seen inside one so kind of amazed for a while
>eventually notice that it doesn't seem lined up right
>oh fuck
>no no
>hell fuck what no
>the whole fucking entire laser assembly is just loose inside and flopping around gouging into the wires and lid
>every single part in this thing is quite delicate and over a thousand dollars, like 7 lasers, mirrors, sensors, gates, prisms, a spinning polygon.
>all was just fucking banging around for at most like 800 miles on a truck
>plenty of fiber optic cables it missed
>after digging into it, nothing actually was broken
>how in the fuck i don't know
>one of the mechanics produces some bolts they found on the bed of the trailer when unloading it
>put them back in where they go, holding the assembly
>tape up all the scraped wires and put the lid back on
>error gone
>whole thing works
>still perfectly aligned and doesn't even need to be recalibrated
>no one really seems to understand how fucking bad it could be
I'm banned from posting pictures aparently
>Be hired as software developer earlier this year
>End up (stupidly) agreeing to take over maintenance of the billing, licensing and support intranet a few months later
>They just moved the intranet from a machine on the open internet to a couple of VMs only accessible trough a VPN
>Turns out that the old intranet machine was an old Nehalem box running a version of CenOS from 2009 with Windows Server 2008 running a legacy part of the intranet developed in the very early 2000s with pre-.net asp
>Linux side of the box also used to run the company email server and website until around April this year
>Turns out they hadn't really updated anything on either the host OS or the VM guest any time recently as the CentOS version was a kernel version from the June of 2009 and Windows Server 2008 was asking for updates going back at least to 2010
>Find out that they didn't really have anyone actually maintaining the damn thing and would only rope in the person who set it up if something actually broke
>The billing system seemed somewhat competently implemented using PHP and JS
>The legacy licensing and support system, written in legacy pre-.net asp, on the other hand didn't have a proper licensing system you couldn't trivially bypass or any kind of user-client encryption
>Turns out that the only reason they really did anything to it was that they got hacked and had the GDPR breathing down their necks
>Same hackers are at it again, now sending out philishing emails to our employees along with an email spoofed to be from us to our customers, their contact details obviously stolen in the earlier the earlier hack, telling them that we're going out of business and are closing down
Only bright side is that I'm just asked to fix some functionality that broke with the migration to two actually up-to-date VMs for our license renewals early next year. After that I've been given the tacit go-ahead to "kill everything with fire" and move the intranet to some new off-the-shelf system.
file size is 4mb so you may have to resize it
>go down to a site we needed internet to a shed about two months before we move in
>no big deal, it's just across a parking lot
>throw up a ubiquiti link between main building and the shed.
>all working, easy stuff
>forward to the actual moving in
>I'm doing other shit in the office all day
>finally walk outside for some reason
>watch as people are installing this huge fucking piece of equipment in front of the shed
>immediately just leave
>go over to the home depot
>not even sure what to do
>they don't even sell long pipe
>call up some people around there
>"yeah we got some pipe we pulled out to go to scrap, like 30ft"
>oh ok
>go buy like big ass bolts and some clamp on a rail things
>borrow a drill and go bolt the mounts to the side of the shed
>have some other guy steal a scissor lift and raise the pipe up
>bolt it to the mounts
>relocate the radio to the top of the pipe
>looks like shit and it's crooked as
>hasn't fallen over yet despite the mounts being a bit how ya goin

Again my job is supposed to be just IT support. Like help my email don't open tier.
File: IMG_20181207_144908.jpg (1.76 MB, 2672x2004)
1.76 MB
1.76 MB JPG
I didn't get the best pic, but the whole assembly is slid forward like two inches to get it off the wires, some fibers zip tied in the lower right
The fuse holder at the end of the rail actually popped up from it which made the error.
There was also a ton of dust everywhere
if you are a ceo or have a lot of money you can just get a free citizenship without learning any swiss language i hate bureaucrates
Why do you think pajeets continue with phone scams? If they didn't work they wouldn't keep going on with them. It's not like phone calls are free either, but they must make money on scamming people otherwise they'd move on to something else. Shit's fucked.
Nicely done and if you can talk about it, that'll look great on a CV. Don't worry about feeling bad about leaving, you're leaving them better than before you arrived.
haha yes lets put linux on all of our employee company computers you fucking retard
id rather be a virgin than in debt 20k for a laptop and a phone
Not him but still sounds fucking absurd. Like who in their right mind would hear or look at it and go "Yep, this seems legit."

Scammers intentionally pick absurd or well-known scams because it weeds out the 95% of people who are too smart to fall for any untargetted scam, and reduces the number of people they have to try to lead on that wise up before paying. Some people are out of touch and gullible, especially older people, and so those are the types scammers actually want to respond to the initial hook. They may not even be "stupid," but so old that their brains don't really work correctly anymore.

This ends up making spearfishing more effective as well, since people are so well-trained to look for "signs" of a scam, like bad grammar or crazy requests, they turn off their brain when they get an email that appears to be from an internal email, is written in proper English and has some basic correct information to appear legitimate.
>go to hook up printer because they moved it to a different room and they say it's not connecting
>check the patch panel and they're not patched
>go to rack room and connect the patch panel to some switchports
>wtf why is it picking up a different network
>spend 30 minutes trying to figure it out
>break down and give the printer an appropriate IP for the network it says it's on
>it works
>tell manager afterwards
>lol ports [#, #, #] (the ones I had picked) are on a different VLAN
gpupdate /force sums up my last job
People are too fucking retarded to remember their own damn passwords, how the fuck are we supposed to enforce 2FA?

We can't support them with 2FA.
>enforce 2fa
My company recently did this, the average user is too retarded to follow written directions on how to set it up.

fucking indians
I just take apart shitty lenovo computers apart and fix hardware issues with them. It really is shitty and boring.
>Hard disk fails in server
>Call HPE to talk about replacement
>On hold for 25 minutes until poo answers
>"Sir, press on your start button and then programs"
>Running server core
>Explain what server core is
>"Sir kindly install the Windows Server Desktop"
>Currently on day five of arguing about this
>muh CLI
Just use normal Winserver like everyone else

Seconding all this, the tech community has a totally unrealistic view of how easily an end user manage MFA.
File: 1494156884403.jpg (132 KB, 391x311)
132 KB
132 KB JPG
>applying to FAANG jobs
>3+ month lags between phone screens and onsites
>get contract job with some shitty MSP
>promise me they've got a big customer with Linux servers and I'll make good use of my skills
>this would turn out to be a lie

>day 1
>aside from me and the helldesk manager, everyone else in the office is a pajeet, a nigger, a tranny, or a fat 30 year old boomer with a pyramid of empty Monster Ultra Zero cans on their desk

>a few weeks later
>the Linux stuff is running smoothly and I've got monitoring set up
>aside from Win10 workstations and the worst RMM I've ever seen things weren't so bad in my corner of the world - 90% of my job was done via SSH and Firefox
>spend 3+ hours a day on personal projects, 4chan, etc.
>life was OK
>then the pajeets started getting deported
>including all the Windows admins at or above my seniority
>get thrown in to neck deep Windows admin flaming bullshit
>imagine a five dimensional shoggoth, oozing acid, pus, and menstrual fluid, wrapped into a betentacled knot enfolding AD cleanup/repair, multi site network printing, Citrix, roaming profiles, and offsite backups
>"oh yeah we don't actually have anyone else with experience now that Rajesh McPoo got sent back to India so you're leading this project now"
>[screaming internally]
>making things worse, the customer had no test or dev environments, and their metrosexual retard "technical project manager" was twitchier than a battered woman about changes to production
>they had anal retentive change management requirements, requiring two full days notice for the smallest of tweaks
>despite being a project lead, their CM process was so slow that my 4chan/homelab/etc. time was up to five hours a day
>their on site helldesk was so incompetent that if I wanted them to test anything for me (part of the aforementioned CM hell) I had to drive out to their site in person and physically sit in the room with them while reminding them once an hour
File: 1476507509502.jpg (60 KB, 640x640)
60 KB

>customer's two helldesk monkeys take offense at my desire to actually get work done
>one of them ragequits the company
>the other one cries to management
>I'm pretty sure actual tears were shed
>CM process now includes delays of up to a week or two at each step for no technical reason at all, but for coaxing these ass bandits along and making sure their fee fees weren't hurt too badly
>this is also when we ran into a bunch of unexpected corner cases and new requirements dropped on us by the customer
>because apparently they have some brain malfunction where they'll just leave important information out of email conversations but will chew your ear off about that same information in person
>so there were multiple on site meetings per week
>every FUCKING time I spent a day on site for one of these stupid meetings my commute home was three hours so I didn't get back until 8pm
>develop involuntary rage twitch in my right eyelid
>stress, anger, lack of sleep, lack of time to cook proper meals, and travel are not a good combination
>get sinusitis that knocks me out of work for two weeks, spewing mucus by the gallon

I ended up getting an offer from a FAANG at literally a $50k raise relative to the MSP job a few weeks later and put in my notice. I finished the hell project before I left, and the MSP was still in pants shitting panic mode because they had nobody else who could even handle a Raspberry Pi, let alone an Oracle cluster.
Tone down the memes next time, you sound like a zoomer.
>enforce 2fa
one word: sim swap
>>and their fucking head shaking, what does that even mean
god damn i remember that from working with some indian dudes in L.A. back in 1999. "OK, so you understand what we need here?" head shakes no while he says yes. argh fucking argh!
wait. what? your it dept was outsourced, and no one onsite had admin privileges? what the fuck is wrong with your company?
Why not? It would be infinitely more secure.
dude, wtf is a motivational letter? i've never heard of such a thing.
No it god damn wouldn't you absolute retard. Windows doesn't exist in a vacuum, it's created to be enterprise software. MS does not give a SHIT about home users.
>hurr durr what is active directory

Especially in this case when they're using Office 365 which is a software as a service account. What the fuck are the employees going to do, use the web interface? And don't you dare even suggest that Libre or Open office is up to enterprise standards, that shit breaks half way through CREATING a file of any degree of complexity, much less trying to save or read it.
They can use Emacs. It is far more stable than Microsoft's garbage.
Look man, as much as I'd love that, the world is not ready for the emacs desktop.
>laptop is literally 10 years or more years old
>unless something is completely dead, it werks fine

Sounds like he knows more about technology than you.
Fuck that word shits me.
>Kindly do this really painful bulshitty thing for no reason other than I'm incompetent or lazy
>I said "kindly" so you're being impolite if you argue
Being a real risk for people with accounts at BTC exchanges and running sensitive databases shouldn't turn off the general public. I've had far too many conversation there's literally no MFA and everyone is just getting their password phished over at freeiphones.ru, and attempts to fix that get drowned out in bikeshedding over how we can't use MFA because two people have dumb phones and we might get SIM swapped if we support SMS.
he uses vista because he's a fucking cheapskate.
I can't decide if you've never worked anywhere or are trolling.

But seriously, no amount of what's technically better is going to stop the average business falling to pieces if you move away from Microsoft Office.
Your system falls apart when people run an insecure OS like Windows, so what is worse?
also, modern fucking os's like to hide extensions by default. fucking motherfuckers
Corporate IT assets like computers amortize fully in 3-5 years.
Anything past that (barring critical systems) is dragging your company behind.
You can resell the older machines and refresh your inventory for not that much.
i know two "general public"-type people that it's happened to and neither of them have btc accounts. but t-mobile allowed scammers to switch their phone numbers to the scammers' phones and then they were able to get access to their wells fargo accounts. but, hey, stick with your 2fa, i'm sure it's 100% safe.
>headbobbing sarcastically
Do Pajeet shitposters headbob ironically?
File: laughing feneko.gif (321 KB, 651x481)
321 KB
321 KB GIF

It's real(ly chrome)
File: 1527970260801.png (276 KB, 584x562)
276 KB
276 KB PNG
I used to work for some of the most incompetent secretaries and salespeople ever.

>get ticket "hacker attack"
>go over to blonde salesperson
>"See, the font on my screen is the wrong color! Someone's hacking!"
>she highlighted text and thought it was a hacker

>ticket: "cannot control computer"
>go over to VP's secretary
>"I can't move this window, I think my computer is slow"
>the toolbar is off the screen and she doesn't know how to control window size without the toolbar

>ticket: "phone has no signal"
>CEO of networking company sent it
>said he lost signal when this symbol showed up in the bar on top
>the symbol is an airplane
>he turned on airplane mode

>ticket: "screen is vibrating"
>blonde salesperson again
>her screen actually is "vibrating" ohshit.jpg
>look at keyboard
>desk is angled so that F11 key is pinned down

>ticket: "computer is slow"
>its one of the electricians we have hired
>super redneck dude
>find shittons of crapware and bloatware
>also find a hundred different 10 second clips of tranny porn in download folder
>it's all trannies fucking dudes
Are they all literal boomers?
Also, the electrician dude has patrician taste.
There are ways to launder that shit back into real cash. Through ApplePay.

Or maybe they just buy russian brides like the fucker at U-Haul that stole my credit card two weeks in a row.
>Russian brides
No shit, $2100 in 3 different transactions to anastasiadate.com
>be me
>made the mistake of telling a relative I'm in IT
>well gee son can ya fix my internet
>ugh fine let's go to your ben gay smelling ass house
>boot up PC
>Internet works fine
>Outlook is set to start automatically
>suddenly cuts out
>well what the fuck
>a few minutes later PC locks up entirely
>nothing wrong with the router, nothing wrong with the network
>I can't figure this shit out
>call the ISP, they say it's fine on their end.
>Old guy gives me a cd the ISP gave them with Norton and such on it
>Sure let's see if there's a virus
>Wait you already installed this.
>Open outlook before PC freezes
>downloading 400 emails
>Norton is shitting itself trying to on-access scan all of them
>every time we rebooted Outlook tried to redownload them and queued another 400 emails to scan
>Now up to 2400 emails to scan
>unplug internet, shut down norton, replug internet, delete emails because they were all for penis pills

And that's why you never enable on-access scanning.
>gay smelling ass house
An ass house that smells like gay? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
This is absolutely terrible advice. The issue is the gigantic influx of spam which is caused by PEKBAC. Make them use a web client.
Common access cards. They're not just for government, you can get them made at goddamn wal-mart and they'll make everyone feel more professional

2FA doesn't imply phones are involved, it just implies something other than a password. Shit get a fingerprint reader even.
>it's all trannies fucking dudes
Still not gay though.
I turned THEIRS back on because they're dumb old people and the issue wasn't going to happen again. But people IN THIS THREAD should not be using on access scanning on their personal computers because it's a giant resource hog that can and will completely shit itself.

bengay. pain relief cream.
>bengay. pain relief cream.
Never heard of it.
It's also used by perverts to increase fapping pleasure. Usually they put it on their balls. They say they cum buckets but I've never tried.
I hear Americans need cream on their cocks because they got Jewed out of their foreskins.
File: shrug.jpg (2 KB, 69x19)
2 KB

Or do. I'm not your boss.
It actually doesn't, most problems here are just funny inconveniences.
If you start installing Ubuntu on the average normie workstation the most likely outcome is that they'll shit their beds, considering most of them can hardly use Windows.
I hear a finger smeared in chilli oil is quite enjoyable shoved up your rectum at the moment of orgasm.

Give it a go.
I just straight up use chilli oil as lube. Works fine.
>I could probably write up 50 stories about this job desu.

do it fagget
>>her screen actually is "vibrating" ohshit.jpg
>>look at keyboard
>>desk is angled so that F11 key is pinned down

Had to try this, have added to bag of "punish the luser" tricks.
>so buttflustered about work that he develops sinus titties and magnesium deficiency
take a chill pill next time. and a magnesium pill too.
At my job we use RHEL, works fine. The biggest problem is the sysadmins being winbabbies and not knowing how to manage Linux.
>sole on-site IT staff for a manufacturing facility of 200 employees
>mostly sysadmin, end up having to do neteng and helpdesk as well
>issue company laptop to 40 year old saleswoman wanting to try working from home
>calls me at 6:30 the next morning
>Did you plug it in?
>No, how was I supposed to know you have to plug it in?
>work for small food oil company
>40+ people
>Electromechanical engineering on my CV
>somehow end up doing the IT part of the entire company too.
>dont know anything about code language,etc..
>wing it.
>so far havent had any complaints.

I always tought the "have you tried turning it of and on again" qoute was a meme.
But that fixes like 50% of the problems.
>Live Action Role Played
Can you fuggin' read?
>Be me
>faggot steve died, left me in charge of tech company
>hire pajeets to install me botnets for more money
>basically bullshitting users into buying our shit
>keep releasing higher phone versions with random shit names
>starting to run out of letters in the alphabet
>mfw sales start to decrease
>start charging more for our shit
>gets popular
>mfw sales start to decrease again
Yep... I work for a small business in a low-volume low-cap industry (read: there just aren't a lot of dollars going around to support operations). We airgap a couple of our networks for compliance reasons, and we were still able to afford an in house CAC roll out for all users, including the grannies and hillfolk. And poster above totally correct- if you market the change correctly to your people, they think it's important and respect it. We also use RSA SecureID for administrator accounts, and that was a bit of a pricetag shock because minimum initial purchase was 50 units and we had 12 admins, but it was still doable with planning.
Hire some people to dig up stuff in obscure devices, then implement those things in your phone.
Worked for him, will work for you too.
>Common access cards. They're not just for government, you can get them made at goddamn wal-mart and they'll make everyone feel more professional
>Anon what do you mean now I have to CARRY this card with me everywhere
>we didn't have to do this before!
>anon help I lost my card, what do you mean I can't log in!?
Didn't Tina Turner have to learn German or something before they let her become a citizen? Maybe that was just because she's a nigger.

They could leave the card plugged into their computer all the time and it's still better than account passwords.
File: DJK5nVt (1).jpg (5 KB, 500x374)
5 KB
people don't actually fall for this right?
>they printed 800 pages
>in 25 days
I don't understand how office drones print/copy so much shit. My last job as a field tech was about 50% servicing laser printers. Everything we did was cloud-based, all documents were to be scanned/digitized, every workstation had dual monitors, and they'd still print off 100+ page documents to read at their desks.
>angreyly just stretch a cat5 cable from one side of the warehouse to the other, straight fucking shot along the floor
>put cones every fucking where to keep people from running it over
jesus dude at least tape it down with electrical tape or something, in the US that's a lawsuit and your job if someone trips
File: DGNIMZcXcAAAhOa.jpg (76 KB, 577x1024)
76 KB
Found the fellow OSH rep...

>he doesn't anchor it down with u-bolts and hazard tape running along it's entire length on the floor and dozens of with dozens of witches hats and "Slip and Fall Hazard" signs placed along the hi-viz bunting fence constructed to ensure no one trips over the cable...
>recent email scam making the rounds
>we hacked your webcam and know you jerked it to porn send bitcoins or else ;)
>body of email contains a user's password, which is not significant because people use the same password for every fucking thing
>dad calls me
>"it's over, son. your old man looked up internet titties on the home computer and now the jig is up."
>forwards me the email
>no dad this is an email scam
>"they knew my password and everything, son. this is the real deal."
>no dad this probably from the LinkedIn hacks and people use the same password for everything
>"then it's worse than I thought"
>no dad just change your password
>"they already have video evidence"
>no dad you don't even have a webcam
>"okay I might have looked up titties at work too"
>no dad they don't have anything on you it's a scam preying on fear and ignorance
>"do you think I should get out ahead of this and come clean to the boss?"
>no dad
>"i'll reply to these chinks and tell them to go fuck themselves"
>no dad this is one of those times where doing literally anything is worse than doing nothing

I even sent him the news articles about this to give him some peace of mind. He's still fretting about it months later.
>It's not like phone calls are free either
The way the scammers usually operate is they'll have a legit contract for something like tech support or call center and just do their scamming on the side using the resources provided by/paid for under the contract. Their whole pajeet outfit is in on it. So they don't actually pay for the calls, TeamViewer license, etc, that cost is passed on to legit customers. If you're interested there's a bunch of videos on YouTube about tracking down pajeet scammers and explaining how they operate.
older people do it mostly, but i also started to appreciate actually having something in your hand and being able to mark stuff and write comments with a pen.
File: dabbing_weeb.jpg (181 KB, 597x800)
181 KB
181 KB JPG
>read this
>mash F11 for five seconds
>case fans immediately rev up
don't do this, it creates mustard gas
also makes your balls fucking hurt
>"it's over, son. your old man looked up internet titties on the home computer and now the jig is up."
fucking kek
>"okay I might have looked up titties at work too"
hits too close to home, my dad lost a six figure job for surfing porn on the office wifi
whatever boat your in OP, I'm along for the ride

>claims to do ''2nd level sysadmin''
>has domain controller outsourced to a shit company thats probably trojan'd as fuck

you deserve it
Not specifically a tale of ict but more morality tales about modern day vetting
>me, ict boffin at suburban police station - non commissioned staff (not a cop)
>CO says we have to hire some new staff for office, asks me to vet on social media as not going thru dept. screening (uhhhhh huuuuuh? Read "off budget")
>1st guy's fb profile pic is literally graphic from "Fuck Da Police -NWA" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jOqOlETcRU
and top post is Cop Killa by Bodycount... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH8gUhDd6WE

>3rd or so guy
>no socials nothing anywhere pretty much under name he's given us which is dodgy in itself
>move names around a bit - Richard James = James Richards...
>verify it's him via a few officers and have visual confirmation off mugshot via their db
>15 (not exaggerating) outstanding warrants for everything from b&e with assault to cc fraud
>he's arrested at the end of interview for cleaning job in a cop shop...

got muh "detective stroipes" (gay rainbow badge 1 of the cops dug up) for that 1

>be microsoft
>fire 10,000 employees
>outsource test department to shitnia
>release windows 10 version 1809 in 1810
>bug: deletes user data
>retract update
>re-release version 1809 in 1811
>bugs again
>even more bugs then the previous version
>Searching in the Start Menu is STILL FUCKING BROKEN since 2015

just stay at Windows 7
>mash F11 for five seconds

Just hold it down.
Good man. Post more if you've got them.
>in 1810
>in 1811


I feel you bro, but don't worry, its just a matter of time before the boomer generation dies out and IT people are set free

By then IT people will need to explain hologram technology to 40-year-old zoomers that are pining for the days where everything was simple and you just had to tap a screen to get to your email. Also, by then most companies will hire contract companies to do their IT work and those companies will have outsourced all their remote support to the third world.

>plan Microsoft MCSA exam via my employer
>cant do the exam for other reasons so i need to cancel it
>no cancel button anywhere on microshit website
>after googling found it you need to fucking call them to cancel
>spend 35 minutes on phone being on hold
>call again
>spend another 45 minutes waiting
>woman with HEAVY indian accent picks up the the phone (mind you i'm not a native English speaker as well so its extra difficult)
>tell her i need to cancel
>"no problem sir, we just need your information"
>give her my information
>"no sir, thats not the correct information, please give me your information, sir"
>im fucking giving you my information
>"sir, i cannot help you unless you provide me with the correct information"
>this is literally my information
>"sir please call back when you have the information"
>hang up on her
>wasted $250 on a Microshit exam i never showed up on.

Version 1809 etc. is called that way because it's released in 2018's 9th month.
>married det sgt is clearly having an affair with subordinate - it's fairly obv. to everyone
>they "pop out for lunch" together, hr or so later they come back looking dishevelled etc.
>it's his anniversary, he "nips out to lunch" with her for some "mentoring"
>his missus turns up dressed for a noice lunch
>desk clerk "Umm, ahhh, sorry Mrs. Plod - dunno where he is"
>"try him on his dept issued phone with mandatory tracking builtin."
>no answer
>"can you tell me where it is plz?"
>desk clerk (who was narky at the qt getting all the sgts attention) points out where the phone is - just like on tv except they use an OSM frontend
>motel about 3km away...
>she waits, he and his root arrive about 15 min later - the look on his face...
>they leave together
>he transfers to country posting soon after.

Don't fuck around on your missus on your anniversary.
Yeah I'm kinda torn about this. Printed material is still superior to screens, at least until eink patents ease up and good devices/monitors become more attainable.
That said office normies do print out wasteful amounts of shit, half of which they don't markup or even read. Mostly it is to look busy
Muh mum was a "lister" and I fucken hated lists...
Until I don't know and often have a todo for most meetings and planning days.

I do use onenote tho - the reality was that 9/10 I'd lose the piece of paper whereas muh phone is always in muh pocket.

if only they'd do a decent onenote for linux (struggle along by using it as a webapp) I'd be fucken set!

I've not seen that many gorey IT enviroments, whoever i've lost all my trust with software companies.
I work as a sysadmin doing IT for about 100+ companies, some of them using very specific software, sometimes even custom made software.

Every god damn time a piece of software needs to be installed, the engineer from that company installing it has no fucking clue what he's doing.
Obviously, we have expensive firewalls blocking all ports by default (and thats very good!)

You don't wanna know how many times ive heared an engineer say stuff like, and i quote, "yeah just disable the firewall in order to make it work", or "i don't know which port our software uses", or "the client software always needs to be executed as an administrator in order for it to work" (impossible), or "the server software needs to run on an active session and cannot be logged off" (they don't know what Services are).
File: delita stabbed.png (1.35 MB, 1280x960)
1.35 MB
1.35 MB PNG
>get a letter from the IRS saying I owe $4000
>years of IT training kick in, this is obviously a scam
>ignore it
>bank calls
>your account is being levied by the IRS
you complete and udder fgt - THANK YOU!
funny shit.
not really a regular /g/ayman, i've never seen this before

btw.. currently unemployed, wife walks into my home office:
w: what are you doing?
me: reading about IT jobs online
w: cool anon
what's the head shaking about?

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.