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Hi /ck/
I have some 80/20 ground beef, how do I make the best burgers?
When I search I get all kinds of conflicting info. Add bread crumbs and egg, don't add crumbs and egg, don't add onions, etc.
I'll be cooking them on a charcoal weber and using brioche buns, gouda cheese and knock big mac sauce.
How do I into /ck/ burgers? Surely you guys have a consensus on burgers?
>>
>>105238670
>inb4 i miss /cock/
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Oh boy, /cock/.
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>>105238670
>using charcoal
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Don't add bread crumbs and egg. You're making burgers, not meatloaf.
Don't mash the meat together when you form your patty. Keep your patty a little loose; this will help air circulate and give you pockets for juices.
Season it with kosher salt and some freshly ground black pepper. Exterior of the patty only, after it's formed.
Don't flip it too much, and certainly don't press down on the patty.
God speed, anon with terrible aim!
>>
>2019
>Eating "meat"
Seriously hope you don't do this
>>
>>105238796
Last time I heard you also still eat meat.

Ya know, dick meat cause you're absolutely fucking gay for complaining about people still eating animals.
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>>105238670
no breadcrumbs or eggs. you're not making metaballs. some salt and pepper is okay. don't beat the meat too much.
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>>105238670
Gordon Ramsey has a good burger video on YouTube
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>>105238753
Don't use kosher salt use iodized salt. People need iodine in their diets for proper thyroid health.
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>>105238843
>Last time I heard you also still eat meat.
>Ya know, dick meat cause you're absolutely fucking gay for complaining about people still eating animals.
11/10 anon
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>>105238670
Consult the sacred texts. https://books.google.ca/books/about/The_Bob_s_Burgers_Burger_Book.html?id=_PAKDAAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_descrip
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>>105238855
>gordon ramsey
>good
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>>105239005
PISS OFF, DONKEY!
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>>105238932
The crystal size though.
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>>105238670
Don't overhandle the meat, you don't need any add-ins (that's by Brits and people who don't know what they're doing), make patties, salt and pepper each side while flipping once. Buns are preference, but I like to butter then shortly roast them on the grill. EZPZ m8
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>>105238753
+1
Except I'd knead a teaspoon of mustard into the paddy.

Also salad and tomato to taste, maybe cranberries.
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>>105238670
I suck at cooking - but I'm going to go out on a limb and say no to egg and bread crumbs.
Try making a seasoning out of Paprika, Garlic Salt, Onion Powder, and Pepper. You can add dried onion, which I think is what you're talking about? Season it as you're forming the patties from the ground beef. Then just use your fucking eyes to check when they're cooked/ready - it's not rocket science.
>>
How can we make this an outrage thread?
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>>105239149
By pissing on someone taste and saying they're wrong. My dad was always butt hurt whenever someone else told him how to cook, this is probably no different.
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>>105239149
The only way to order a burger is well done. You're a human, not a wild animal eating raw meat.
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>>105239116
He said he had mac sauce already so I figure that's what he wants to taste, otherwise that's a good idea.
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>>105239149
The same way we do to all the other threads on /co/. Stop talking about the subject at hand and complain that black people exist.

>>105239237
The thing is for burgers, especially if you're not grinding your own meat, that's not necessarily a bad idea. The doneness meme is about steak.
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>>105238716
It makes meat tastes so much better
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>>105239237
What, you don't like cannibal sandwiches?
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>>105239237
This is a good idea though, having worked at burger joints, the hygenine isn’t the best, even when management was anal about it. You had some gross lokking mother fuckers making your burger.
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>>105239385
This. Though any flame (gas or charcoal) is good enough for me, as long as it get a nice bit of char.
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>>105238670
Egg is important, everything else not so much.
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>>105238670
--Chop half an onion and green pepper (depending on how many you're making)
--Mix the onions and pepper in
--Little salt
--Don't mangle the meat
--BBQ is the best way to cook (tastier)

No need for bread crumbs and egg.
You don't need the onions and peppers either unless you want them.

Brioche bread is good but sesame seed buns are best.
I personally hate ketchup, mayo and mustard, go with BBQ sauce instead.
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>>105239340
I thought how done only applies to chunks like steak. Ground meats run the risk of shit getting mixed in so you have to cook it fully.
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>>105238670
1)Use a cast iron pan instead of a grill. All that fat doesnt just fuel that fire, its used to help fry the meat.
2) dont fuck up cooking it
3) eat it.
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>>105239484
It's 80/20, not ground sirloin. Fat's not even really an issue.
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>>105239470
That's the logic I've always used.
Especially since toughness isn't really a burger thing; just dryness. And you can do a well done burger that isn't dry.
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>>105239470
Damn I never gave a fuck about ground meat being mixed so I always cooked that bitch rare

Is there a real threat though ? Never got food poisoning out of it, hell I even enjoy making a tartare or eating beef carpaccio, but I never really thought about what was in ground meat
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>>105239528
Still enough fat. especially if you cook more than one burger in the pan. After 4 quarter pound burgers, I had half a pan of grease with the same 80/20 ground
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>>105239649
From what I was told it's how they make it. Clean surface and clean grinder should be fine but if you have used it to cut other meats for awhile the danger skyrockets. How do you make tartare? I assumed you mixed salt or alcohol In it to kill off any bad bacteria or parasites.
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>>105239649
If you do your own grinding it's fine.
Otherwise you have to consider there's always a chance, however small, that a rat fell into the grinder.
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>>105239649
Not really, it's kind of overblown. And if you have fresh steak ground in front of you with clean equipment, you can eat it raw, even. It's more of a storage issue of contaminants and exponential growth, because the inside of a steak is virtually germ free, and only the outside can be compromised. Unless there's a bad strain of e-coli or something infecting the meat, the worst you're looking at is a potential case of the shits.
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>>105239649
Generally, I try to avoid cooking burgers under well unless I absolutely trust the butcher, watch him grind it and am sure of the quality of meat.
Mostly because you can never be sure how much of the meat has been touched by stuff that's touched other stuff, or what quality the meat that was ground was in.
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>>105239484
Pan fried burgers are pretty great because you can get a nice crust on them.
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>>105239703
That's what I mean. You don't have to worry about fat loss unless it's really lean, and even then it's not that big of an issue. Also, under the broiler is a superior method at home if you're not grilling.
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>>105239716
Well basically I take an egg yolk, Dijon mustard, onion, tabasco, ketchup, olive oil, salt and pepper. I mix all that shit in a bowl and then I just add ground beef and eat it raw like that.

Never had any issue, but I do buy meat at my local butcher and not from the supermarket, although I regularly eat rare to blue cheap ground beef patties I bought there
>>
Reverse-sear it.

Broil it until it’s about 10 degrees under the desired temperature, then drop it into a pan until the exterior is browned and flip accordingly.
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>>105239005
He is though, good try.
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>>105238670
>its still up
/cock/ is alive and well.
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>>105238670
I’m reporting an interloper
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>>105238853
I'll beat my meat as much as I want, thank you.
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>>105241135
Radda radda radda, radda radda.
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>>105241151
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>>105239385
Propane grills are king if you actually know how to cook
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>>105241394
But natty gas on the house line is much more convenient, albeit with relatively insignificant lower max temperature.
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oh boy
/cock/
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>>105242766
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>>105242788
That's actually a pretty solid recipe. Lacking a bit of nuance, but good nonetheless.
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>>105241163
christ, go easy on the man
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I use salt, pepper, a dash of worcestershire sauce, and a little garlic powder myself.
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I only do the bread crbs and egg bit for pan fry burgers. If you're grilling just let the meat be. Press the patties with your thumb on both sides so there's adivot in the center and grill em plain. Salt n pepper to taste after they're done and dress with sauces/toppings to your liking. I agree with anon saying toast your buns, especially for brioche.
>>
You don't have to get too invasive with them. Like most, I suggest forming them not to tightly into patties, a salting and peppering with plenty of time for the salt to draw the moisture so it'll make a crust for texture.
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>>105238753
don't listen to this "don't flip it too much" bullshit

flip it a lot and you'll get a better sear
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>>105243089
Yeah, a lot of restaurants and industry folks will claim "Don't flip it too much" because they're basically working an assembly line, to put things nasty. If you have time to take, it's worth flipping every few minutes, aye?
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>>105243089
>flip it a lot and you'll get a better sear
Bullshit. You don't need to flip it a lot to get a good sear. You just need high heat.
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>>105238670
you forgot the PICKLES!!!
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With the exception of >>105241135 no one has mentioned OP posted to the wrong board
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>>105243184
oh wait im dumb
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>>105243184
Hush up. /cock/ was a precious memory, and I relish it returning however briefly.
>>
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>>105238855
>ABSOLUTELY PUHFICT BURGAH
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>>105242766
>>105242788
Double dubs... think I should try making this recipe. Might toss in some chipotle peppers sine the heat seems a wee low.
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>>105243228
>tomato
into the trash
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>>105243228
Is it really a perfect burger if you can't get all of the components in a single bite? That's something I just don't bloody get when they stack them so high.
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>>105238670
make a capeshit burger post results

do it faget
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>>105238670

Have you named your burger yet? Because that's where you gotta start,

Maybe a Gooda Enough for Mac Burger?

No, that doesn't work. It'd need macaroni.
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>>105243294
>Corn burger

odinisdissapoint.png
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>>105243254
dont forget the whiskey
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>>105243333
also slightly relevant
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>>105243089
This is true with steaks, not burgers. Ground beef percolates up the moisture and fat to the top, so flipping it dumps it off instead of letting the topside baste in the juices.
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>>105243274
What you mean you can't stuff a burger the size of your head into your mouth?
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>>105243368
I am quite the drinker. To neglect the whiskey would be heretical.
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>>105238670
>>
>>105242766
>>105242788
I like how they include the nutrition information.
Is there a full set of scans of this book?
>>
Steven universe threads being deleted but this thread stays. Beautiful mods.
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dont forget to drink it down with a large glass of wondys piss, i mean pop
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>>105243397
>tfw wake up in the middle of the night when the booze wears off
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>>105243461
Indeed. Even as a fan of Steven Universe, I'm fan with it being on /trash/ while its release schedule is so... languid. Either way, there are culinary questions for SU as well. What kind of fucked up timeline does Steven live in that barbecue flavored chips are a limited time thing?
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>>105243540
I know that feeling, but thankfully I can still roll over and use that time for /tg/ world building. That dreamy, quarter-sleep state is great for really weird ideas.
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>>105243557
Maybe it was originally written a all-dressed flavor and the producers kebash'd it because it was too obscure?
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>>105243461
To be fair OP wanted it to be deleted. He was posting splooge.
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>>105243430
there should be a megaupload link on /rs/
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>>105243819
You've been in a coma for the past five years, haven't you.
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>>105243819
>/rs/
he's dead anon
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>>105238855
And now I'm envisioning Gordon Ramsay droning out "Welcome to Good Burger Home of the Good Burger may I take your ooooorder?"

Thanks for that.
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>>105243819
What's /rs/?
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>>105238853
This. Don't forget the Worcestershire.
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>>105243974
It is a good addition, like all umami additions, but depends on preference. God umami sounds pretentious, why wasn't it just called glutemates?
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>>105244017
Half the reason I like tomato on my burgers, albeit as dry as possible. Personally, onions and worcerstershire sauce together is rather nice.
>>
>tfw a food thread gets better replies and faster replies on /co/ than on /ck/.
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>>105238670
You get lettuce, tomatoe, cucumber, carrot, capsicum, feta, caesar salad dressing and mix it into a bowl.
Perfect burrgah.
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>>105243819
;_;
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>>105244565
This is better content than 99% of /co/ threads. The 1% being the storytimes that no one replies to
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>>105244804
We need a purge. Shitposters posting bait should be immediately banned.
>>
>>105238670
mods don't give a shit about /co/
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>>105238716
>that episode where Peggy and Bobby find out propane isn't anywhere near as good as charcoal
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>haha ecks dee I posted on the wrong board hahaha!
Really hilarious, you unfunny idiot. I'm laughing my ass off. Is this kind of stupid shit funny on your homesite of Reddit? You killed a thread for this unfunny shit to be posted, and you're the kind of fuckwit who pushed actual alternative sports threads on /asp/ to extinction. Your post was unfunny, unproductive, unintelligent, and unrelated to any of the topics allowed on this board, even the ones that get a free pass like Godzilla and the Muppets. I hope it was worth it, because you're getting saged AND reported, enjoy your ban dumbass.

And to answer your fuckwit question, just be fucking gentle while flipping them you bunny stranger. Add a little cayenne/chipotle/red pepper, sea salt, and a hint of garlic. The fact that you can't cook a decent hamburger reinforces everything I said about you being a moron. Goodbye, and good riddance.
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>>105245226
You seem to have used too much salt.
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>>105245226
What thread did he killed? i'm sure it was a quality thread and not just one with endless shitposting about how everything sucks and muh SJWS and Pol are ruining all
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>>105245256
>>105245311
Dudes, no. He's just a cunt. Nothing political, chappy is just a humorless dickhole.
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>>105244565
Threads always have better discussions when they're posted outside their designated board. You have better video game discussions outside of /v/, anime discussions outside of /a/, and even cartoon discussions outside if /co/. People are a lot more genuine and people aren't trying to one-up and bait each other.
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>>105245256
A burger needs to be well seasoned, anon
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>>105245696
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>>105243523
>wondys piss
Stop making me hard goddammit
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>>105238843
Holy shit this is an underrated comment
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>>105238670
Brioche is a bit too sweet for my taste. I'd go with nice toasted bread. Get the meat nice and thin (not too thin as you'll overcook) and char it real good. Add caramelized onions with blue cheese mixed with a touch of mayo and green onions. Sweat out some mushrooms and plop those fuckers on it too and you've got a killer burger that'll give you a heart attack in a week.
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>>105245837
Brioche does seem really out of place on something so simple.
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>>105238843
forty keks
>>
holy shit an original thread in /co/ .... oh nevermind.
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>>105246103
Eat shit, diddle-meister, ask yourself what cartoon food you would like to make. I found that jawbreakers did not meet the expectations I had set, and chili dogs were just a filthy, albeit pleasurable mess. What are you experiences on cartoon-guided hungers?
>>
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>>105242766
Ok so I know she's sitting down and those are her knees and shins, but I can't be the only one who thought for a second she had thicc anime hips
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>>105238706
was there an april fools last year?
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>>105243274
You're supposed to squish it down with your hands.
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>>105238753
Anon i like your style, just dont forget to brush it with melted butter so it caramelizes just before it finishes
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>>105246442
Yeah and team mini got robbed of it's victory
>>
>>105241394
>Propane grills are convenient if you actually know how to hide the fact you're a beta cuck

FTFY and clued you in to the biggest running joke in KotH. If you can't afford a found stone, cast iron grill, just go to McDonald's with the other burgerlets. You're already being polite by not punching your backyard barbecue guests in the genitals and shitting down their throats.
>>
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>>105245256
>>105245311
>>105245577

I feel like anon was joking considering he gave genuine advice on how to make a better burger at the end guys
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>>105239385

This boy just ain't right
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>>105246505
oh rite, what the fuck were creme and mini's anyways?
>>
>>105246414
As an ant I appreciate this post.
>>
>>105239149
Tofu burgers with lots of onions sauce prepared by a muslim tranny to celebrate Blizzard making Soldier 76 gay.

Badda Bing Badda Bip.
>>
>>105246788
I mean I could've upscaled it but then it would looked like blurry pixelated garbage
>>
>>105243951
"rapidshares", basically a huge link depository of rapidshare links. on 4chan

TL note: rapidshare was the MEGA / mediafire of yesteryear.
>>
I was just thinking about that site that had hamburger recipes narrated by Patrick Warburton when I saw this thread
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>>105247454
Fuck I remember that from years ago. Every burger sounded like a delicious 10/10 religious episode served on a bum
>>
since we're in a /cock/ thread, it's the best place to ask if the Two Fat Ladies would be superheroes in Earth 616
>>
>>105238670
The best thing about /co/ is unironically when people click on this board by accident.
>>
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>>105238670
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5e1HPeusiA
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>>105247454
>>105247487
Sadly the website no longer features Warburton's magical voice
>>
Smash Burger

Google It

take fatty ground chuck, 80/20 and make 4 ounce balls, thing a large lime.

get flat surface to 350 - 400 F
I like using cast iron on outside bbq

place burger ball on hot surface and smash into the heat, use wax paper and a spatula or trowel.

season with salt and pepper.

Your goal is to get this side super thing and maximize the stickiness to the grill to get a good sear and use this first press to cook the patty 80% of the way to done.

flip and put on your cheese of choice, you are doing this right if you can flip and no blood comes up from the patty, put on cheese of choice and cook.

Simple but good - 2x beef, 2x cheese, ketchup, bun.

We are making burgers - same as above but add; Mayo, bacon, pickles, onion, mushroom, tomato, mustard.

We are taking pictures - same as above but now you mix and match toppings; onion rings, pickled red onion, bacon jam, ketchup jerky, Kimchi, Chilli, Aioli, Avocado, Pineapple, booze infused food.
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>>105247599
>howtobasic
you have to go back
>>
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Long live /cock/
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>>105247805
lol me stoned
>think a large lime
>get this side super thin and
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>>105243269
>he doesn't like tomatoes
>>
Why can I not stand onions? I don't like the taste, I don't like the smell, and I especially don't like the texture. Chewing onions, be it chunks or slices, just makes me gag for some reason. I really hate this because a lot of recipes calls for onions and thus ruins the entire meal for me even though everyone else loves it. Why do I have to be so weird?
>>
>>105238670
first of all that is wayyyy too much fat
secondly fuck fillers. just cook the meat slowly until it's brown.
you're using charcoal? you'll be fine.
this isn't /ck/
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>>105246414
Pretty sure she'd have thicc hips anyway.
>>
>>105244017
>why wasn't it just called glutemates?
Because glutemates is a mouthful and some Japanese guy was the one to coin the term.
>>
>>105239412

what in the fuck is that
>>
>>105239649

Its the kind of thing you consider when youre using something probably processed at a large big business facility, and even moreso when its not just you eating it, and then even more again if theres kids or sick/old ppl involved like at a backyard bbq or whatever.
>>
>>105248225
the taste is fine, the texture is about the worst thing on the planet
>>
>>105244017
>>105248394

glutamates are what they are... umami is the taste related to them, since a bunch of diff things can be used to get similar flavours.
msg is lazy mode.
>>
>>105248499

one good firm meaty tomato is worth a bag of the water shit ones like they use at fast food places. go to the store all the hippies get their vegetables at and get a big lumpy beefsteak
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>>105238670
>brioche
Anon, you’re using a French pastry for a burger? That’s more for breakfast to eat with either marmalade, honey or chocolate. I would use regular burger buns.
>>
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>>105248292
At least you're not a hypocrite. I love the smell and flavor it gives off in small doses, but immediately cringe at biting into one even by accident. It's so overwhelmingly strong and crunchy and overpowers fucking everything I was eating, unless I'm eating steak cooked in their sauteed juices.

I fucking love the chips too. What is wrong with me
>>
>>105248554
or I could just avoid tomatoes and continue on my search for substitutes
>>
>>105248649
>What is wrong with me
Quite a bit I suppose. Alliums lend so much flavor because they irritate the tongue, causing more salivation and by the process causing you to taste more. Onions, leeeks, garlic, shallots and all that mess. If you had a tomato sauce without onion and garlic you'd wonder why it was so damn bland.
>>
>>105238855
Gordon Ramsey eats pizza with a fucking fork and knife
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>>105243368
Remember, when marinating with whiskey only allow the meat to sit for three hours at a minimum, any longer and the alcohol begins to break down the meat.
>>
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>Good star trek threads ALWAYS get pruned
>This has 175 replies

Fuck you mods.
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>>105249282
Why would you ever marinate with alcohol or vinegar? Too volatile and you could either use it in the cooking process or reduce into a sauce that wouldn't mess with the protein structure.
>>
>>105249270
Was it deep dish? That's somewhat acceptable, although everyone I know in California still uses our hands for those.
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>>105238855

All Gordon Ramsay's youtube videos are the fucking same. Put it in a pan on high, baste it with butter as you cook it, add herbs. Fuckin' boring.

Also a co-worker of mine (when I worked in a seafood restaurant) mocked his video of how to clean a fish (as someone who did it every day, he wasn't very good at it) and claims credit for making him take it down.
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>>105249296
To really get that pure bourbon flavour soaked right up into the meat, you can reduce or use directly in the cooking, but the flavour won't be as pronounced.
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>>105249319
Think you're talking of his line of videos specifically designed for people who don't know how to cook, m8.
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>>105249319
Yeah, Ramsay's videos are pretty fucking shit-tier.
If you want good cooking channels, you go to Cowboy Kent Rollins or Townsend.
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>>105249341
I don't disagree on principle, but I do on method.
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>>105249319
put gordon and your dumbass coworker in a kitchen together and see what happens brudder
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>>105249380

Yeah I rather suggested he not start beef with a world-renowned chef known for decimating shitty food, but he was a doof.
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>>105238855
Gordon Ramsey is a celebrity chef, his restaurants have closed or have become american food. He made fun of "grilled" caesar salad on one of his shows and then it showed up on his menu. He's a celebrity, not a chef.

Soft scrambled eggs full of creme fraiche is a meme and disgusting btw .
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdvZC91YpMs
>>
hmmmm burger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7OvWpNuu38
>>
>>105238670
>Add bread crumbs and egg, don't add crumbs and egg,

You're making burgers, not meatloaf patties. Of course the latter.
>>
>>105238670
That honestly how you have it is going to be great. I would spread a very light onion dip on the buns. Like very light. Maybe an sliced avacado too wouldn’t hurt it would pair nice with the Gouda.
>>
>>105244017

>not muh 'murrican english
>pretentious

Holy shit shut up.
>>
>>105238670
Alright you dumb mother fucker, heres my patented good burger recipe.
1. Shape the burger to be atleast as thick as your pinkie, as wide as your palm. If it doesn't meet these criteria, it's not a burger. case in point, five guys and in and out arent burgers they are paper.
2. Season it with salt and pepper
3. Take your charcoal starter (if your not using one, you either like doing things the hard way or your retarded), and pour out the coals. Put about 10 coals on the opposite side the pile is now
4. Put that bitch on the grill, usually I do 7 minutes per side to cook it all the way, but I don't know what the fuck you wanna do
5. Put the buns above the coals that you moved over, check them frequently cause those bitches burn easily
6. After buns are toasted, put onions on (I have a special pan with holes so it doesnt fall through the grates get it at walmart for like 5 bucks), toast onions until caramelized.
7. about 30-50 seconds before the burgers are supposed to be done, throw on that cheese and let it melt.
8. Assemble Burger as so
>Bottom Patty
>Condiment (mayo or mustard)
>Patty
>Condiment (ketchup or mustard or whatever sometimes I use relish cause its good)
>Lettuce
>Tomato
>Onion
>Patty w/ a condiment
>>
>>105249557
My palm is quite large I guess I’ll get a nice big burger yum
>>
>>105249557
Not bad, but kinda conveyed gay
>>
>>105249615
Listen dog, if you got big palms like a fuckin gorilla. Heres another trick.
You could either
A. Use a burger shaper which usually gets the perfect size every time, either cut one out from PVC pipe, or just buy one (this option is for people who cook burgers 24/7 and live off them. Really convenient but some people think your a beta cuck if you use them)

2. Just shape the patties about the size of the buns. This will give you a good bun to burger ratio.
but remember, if its not as thick as your pinkie, its not a burger
>>
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>>105249557

>Patty in between two patties

I know what you meant. Still.
>>
>>105249653
>he doesnt make a Burger Burger
Im ashamed anon, this is what all americans strive for.
>>
>>105246414
She's thicc in any position. One of my earliest waifus. Good times those were.
>>
>>105249557
based
>>
>>105246594
I creme is a wipped cream substitute according to google, mini was mint misspelled.
>>
>>105244017
Because westerners fought for decades against recognizing the flavor.
>>
>>105250100
>based
No, baste
>>
>>105249405
>Soft scrambled eggs full of creme fraiche is a meme and disgusting btw .
Clearly you neglected to add the finely chopped fresh green shallots and a sprinkle of shredded chedd, ya pedestrian cunt. Kindly fuck off.
>>
>>105238670
1kg beef
1/4 cup of breadcrumbs lightly doused in chilli oil
half a red onion
Two cloves of crushed garlic
2 tbsp of dijon mustard
Sprinkle of ground black pepper
Dab a little olive oil and coarse salt on the outside only
Searing hot griddle pan, few minutes on each side

A lot of people will tell you that onion and breadcrumbs add nothing, but as long as you don't use too much, it works well. The breadcrumbs are my personal touch, they serve to absorb a small amount of the fat while it cooks before slowly releasing it as you chew, giving it a very slightly spicy aftertaste which really compliments the beef.
>>
>>105244017
I just call it savoury
>>
>>105250749
Anon, it might work well. It might taste real good.

But it's a meatloaf sandwich, not a burger.
>>
>>105238855
I always felt like Ramsay puts way too much emphasis on drowning everything in seasoning.
>>
>>105251019

If you don't get 4 tbsp of butter in it it's not meat.
>>
>>105249557
>Shape the burger to be atleast as thick as your pinkie, as wide as your palm.
Fuck that shit.

1. Take *EXACTLY 3oz. of ground meat and put that shit in a sandwhich baggie.
2. Pound that shit out until it touches all 4 sides of the baggie.
3. Do this for approx 8-9 patties per 2 pound package of supermarket purchased ground 20/80.
4. Chuck those floppies in the motherfuckin freezer. (Suck my grimy left nut, smug anime meme girls!)
5. Wait until solid.
>Some Time Later...

- Finely chop one entire onion.
- Oil up a hot skillet and cover the surface with your onions.
- Unpeel baggies from frozen patties and drop them shits on the onions.
- Let that shit rock for like a hot 2 minutes flip and repeat. (Salt and pepper each side.)
>Assemble.

Bottom half bun
Condiment (Mayo.)
Lettuce
Condiment (Thousand Island Dressing.)
Thinly Sliced Hamburger Pickles (Not that bread and butter shit!)
Patty
Cheese (American. obvsly.)
Sauted Onions
K A T S U P
Top half bun (<< KETCH goes here)

Get an entire jar of olives and some toothpicks. Skewer the olives with the toothpicks. Pour out the olive brine and put the skewered olives back into the jar. Screw the cap back onto the jar. Throw entire jar into the trash. Olives are disgusting.

ENJOY.
PS: If you don't slam the entire tray of these badboys by yourself in one sitting you a whole ass bitch.
>>
>open the thread
>no /co/nrad and /ck/tan art posted
>>
>>105241394
Imagine being this much of a faggot.
>>
>>105251019
You limey cunts terrorize the seven seas for centuries raping an pillaging brown people on every fucking continent for some fucking saffron and paprika the fucking LEAST you could do is shove it up for fucking fat, pasty gob you festering maggot.
>>
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>>105251019
>>105251040
A lot of professional restaurants put a shit ton of butter in everything, at least according to Kitchen Confidential.
>>
>>105251202

I cook for a living. It is definitely true, but still, motherfucker has ONE TRICK.

Don't eat out if you want to eat healthy. First priority is making it taste good. And fuck your body.
>>
>>105251051
how much is 3oz. approx? golf ball? tennis ball?
>>
>>105251267

In between.
>>
>>105251267

Closer to a golf ball in meat. Maybe 1.5x.
>>
>>105251276
>>105251286
cheers lads
>>
>>105238843
Ok, this got me. Sent this to a vegan group on Facebook to lol
>>
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>>105238843
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>>105251319
Not that it's not funny, but seeking out groups of people who presumably mind their own business just to mock them for minding their own business is also a sign of eating dicks.
>>
>>105251051
what an awful recipe
>unseasoned meat
At least put some fucking pepper in there you faggot, ESPECIALLY if you're using generic brand supermarket beef
>freezing ground beef
ruined texture
>mayo, thousand island AND ketchup
mmmm my favourite, a mess of acid and sweet that blots out any other flavour
>american cheese
get that dumb shit outta here, bitch. swiss, cheddar, blue, gouda, all great options, all good in a variety of burgers. tasteless garbage american cheese? fuck off.

tl;dr kill yourself, your momma didn't teach you to cook, she taught you war crimes. if you were a painter, you'd be rubbing your own shit all over a canvas. if you were a shipwright you'd be building an ocean liner out of weetabix and duct tape. you can't cook, nigger, buy a fucking recipe book.
>>
>>105251363

It's a very different style. More like the third option here: >>105249426

If that's your thing go nuts, I'm sure it's quite tasty. But yeah season your beef bro.
>>
>>105251202
I was taught by me mum that butter is basically the key to making anything taste good. Like, as long as you're not using a 50% ratio of butter or some dumb shit, you can't ever really use too much butter, you just throw that shit in until stuff is nice.

She's a career chef for 30 years
>>
>>105251377
yeah i just like being needlessly antagonistic to styles that aren't my own personal handcrafted recipe
>>
>>105244017
>but depends on preference
If you mean shit taste vs good taste then I guess you're right. Always put Worcestershire on your burgs, it's the secret to making them extremely good, no lie.
>>
>>105251403
worcestershire sauce is my secret weapon. It's fucking amazing. It makes almost every savoury meal better. You can put it in gravy, you can put it in bolognese sauce, you put it in burger mix, you douse mushrooms in it while frying, it's a fucking miracle of the culinary arts.
>>
>>105251363
you only put pepper on AFTER you cook it you dickweed, otherwise it burns.
>>
>>105251470
that's the point, numbnuts
>>
Oh, but I can't have my anime thread?
>>
>>105243305
mac sauce or the mac could mean Mc
>>
>>105238843
Lmaoo How is this comment not getting more replies??
>>
>>105243819
damn you for making me remember.
>>
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>>105251551
>>105238947
>>105245787
>>105246057
>>105251319
>>105251342


Y'all got weak ass humor. This is some 2010 4chan shit. We can do better.
>>
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>>105251563
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>>105251613
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>>105251550
>mac sauce or the mac could mean Mc
Yeah, it's kinda unclear,
>>
>>105238843
got HIM
>>
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>>105252599
>>
>>105251572
>Y'all got weak ass humor. This is some 2010 4chan shit.
well that's ok because everyone says 4chan was better back then.
>>
>>105239149
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than eating a burger. Honestly, think about it rationally.
>>
>>105243819
FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU
>>
>>105246505
TEAM CREME SHOULD HAVE WON
THE GAME WAS RIG FROM THE START
>>
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>>105243294
>Big "M" for Marvel
suspiciousFry.jpg
>>
>>105249270
Isn't that only when the pizza is a disgusting slab of grease? I've only seen him eat shitty pizza.
>>
>>105243523
>natural soda pop
>frozen fruit juice from concentrate
does not compute
>>
>>105251613
Isn't that the stuff the butler drugged?
>>
>>105251572
/co/ is filled with more normies than it likes to admit.
>>
>>105238670
Thick burgers are fucking gross, make them thin. I dont want a mouthful of cheap ground meat.
>>
>>105251543
Food is delicious and cartoons and occasionally comics can include food in them. Anime is cancer and anything that contains anime is anime and not a cartoon, the same applies to manga. Fuck off weeb.
>>
>>105243427
Lol xx so quirky :)))
>>
>>105238670
Every time I eat a burger that pretty much any of my friends make, the number one basic problem is that they didn’t let it cook long enough and it’s underdone. I like a good rare or medium burger, I’m not looking for well done, but I mean actually undercooked. In the worst cases I’ve been given burgers that were still cold on the inside. Beginners with not a lot of experience cooking often don’t have enough patience and can fuck up a lot of things by rushing shit and not waiting long enough.

I have a lot of friends that don’t know how to cook but occasionally try to make things to share with friends, and the biggest advice I’d give them is to keep things simple, give themselves more time to cook, and to be patient. If you’ve already been cooking regularly for a few years now you’re probably already over this problem, but it’s essential for beginners to consider.
>>
>>105238706
>>
Have we reciprocated with /ck on this? We could get their thoughts on Zootopia or SU
>>
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>>105252947
GET FUCKED CREAMFAGS
SLOW AND STEADY
>>
>>105254345
>4chan is filled with more normies than it likes to admit.
ftfy
>>
>>105250280
>mini was mint misspelled
>>
>>105254955
comfiest board
>>
>>105255647
Get that shit back to /x/
>>
>>105248422
raw ground beef on rye with onions and black pepper. some add pickles or even egg yolk for a sort of steak tartare, but I like to keep it simple.
>>
>>105254744
Then don't use cheap ground meat.
>>
Speaking of hamburgers, why did McDonald’s ruin the quarter pounder?
>>
>>105256373
but poverty
>>
>>105256409
What’s different about it?
>>
>>105256544
They completely changed it, tastes like a greasy grizzle filled bubba burger now. I can make that myself if I wanted to. The one good thing about McDonald’s is the nastalgia factor and it tastes completely unrecognizable now
>>
>>105238716
>not using pellets
>>
>>105254945
You don't do rare burgers unless you ground the meat yourself, and fucking nobody ever does that because it's a tedious waste of time and effort.

If you're being served a burger that's still cold on the inside, your friends are jackasses.

3-4 minutes on both sides should be enough to cook a burger through to perfection, assuming it's about as thick as a finger.
>>
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>>105238843
How will he ever recover?
>>
>>105256973
>You don't do rare burgers unless you ground the meat yourself
I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t turn it down if somebody else did and offered it to me.

>your friends are jackasses.
This I acknowledge and apologize if I inadvertently implied otherwise.

>assuming it's about as thick as a finger
Usually I get served burgers thicker than that, I think. I think I like a thinner burger, but again, the people I hang out with don’t know how to cook anyway, and just generally don’t seem to know what they’re doing.
>>
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>>105243333
>mix cheese and peanut butter
There's no way this isn't outlawed somewhere in the Geneva convention. And if it isn't, it should be.

Also, checked.
>>
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>>105249289
I've always wondered. Does (wild) Jigglypuff always have a microphone and if so, where/how does it get it? Is it even a microphone, or some weird fleshy appendage that just happens to look like one?

pic unrelated, but thread relevant
>>
>>105247807
You have to killyourself
>>
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>>105238706
>>105254955
Ekhm... gentlemen...
this and /mlpol/ what a fun ride...
>>
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>>105246594
>>105250280
You both reek of newfaggotry and neither of you were here when it happened. They were all named after oreos.

Also, TEAM MINI FOR LIFE!
>>
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>This thread is still here.
>>
Well /co/? What is the best you ever did in the kitchen? I baked my sister chocolate cake with strawberries for her b-day.
>>
>>105259917
I bake once in a few weeks. I don't think I have any particular accomplishments but they usually turn out reasonably well, I always wanted to try making cartoon and more often vidya food but almost never get around to it.
>>
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>>105260002
>wanted to try making cartoon and more often vidya
Ah that reminds me..
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>>105238843
>>
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>>105238670
>egg in a burger
>>
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>>105259917
>>
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>>105260044
What am I looking at?

inb4
>cupcakes durr
>>
>>105260176
>ramen
>>105260198
One guy got mad at BioWare for Mass Effect 3 ending and sent them over 400 cupcakes, different color of frosting, still tasted the same.
>>
>>105260176
Buy frozen vegetables and fry that shit with meat of your choice. No excuses.
>>
>>105260143
It helps the ground meat hold together and retain moisture. More for thinner patties than ones like in OP.
>>
>>105260255
Can I do it in 3 minutes
>>
>>105260273
What you eat says a lot about you anon, you don't want to be the "done in three minutes guy", right?
>>
>>105260315
Dude....
>>
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>>105259917
This would be the most memetic.
>>
>>105260273
Frozen vegetables are one of the easiest and fastest meals that can still be called a meal. If you have no time, money or skill you can still buy premade mixes and add meat or whatever else you want and make yourself a proper meal. Ramen is a good snack once in a while but do yourself a favor and start eating actual food.
>>
>>105238843
Based carnivore
>>
>>105260240
>400 cupcakes
Quality mix of Prank and Fuck You, if a tad on the expensive side. But if you have the time/money to burn.
>>
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>>105260545
And justified too. What they did to Shepard was...
>>
>>105260545
Great idea and execution but unfortunately I doubt anyone who has the power over the writing heard of it or cared.
>>
>>105254824
Shut up nerd, there's are literal hundreds of cooking manga
>>
>>105259343
Its a pen. It draws on peoples faces when they fall asleep.
>>
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>>105260624
I doubt she even noticed. Probably too busy scarfing them down.
>>
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Okay, /cock.
Imagine you`re given a big piece of boneless pork (ham or loin, non-cured) for roasting.
How do you make it juicy and delicious?
How would Alfred (the batman one) cook it?
Would you feed Kamala with it against her will?
>>
>each episode has far-left propaganda shoehorned in with the subtlety of a sledgehammer
>to deal with the cringe, make spotting each occurrence part of the fun of watching
>each one more painful then the last, but you don't think it could get any worse

"Miss Martian taught Miss Martian's language to Forger?"
"Everything but the pronouns apparently..."
"His people have an extremely complex sense of self. They don't have much use for pronouns."

OH GOD, THEY'RE TRYING TO TEACH US TO ACCEPT TRANNY DELUSIONS USING THE CULTURE OF FICTIONAL ALIEN BUG PEOPLE.
>>
>>105260315
Savage.

Also, instant noodles are so packed with spices and glutamate, its hard to recreate the flavor. Bad for your body, though.
>>
>>105260650
That does not make it relevant here. Food is allowed by the virtue of it not shitting up the board regularly and being semi relevant. Make food thread on /a/ if you want but the post complained that anime is not allowed on /co/, not that weebs can't talk about food. But apparently basic reading comprehension is too much to ask from a weeb.
>>
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>>105260680
But where does the pen come from? Do wild Jigglys have them and if so, how do they get them?
>>
>>105260744
For one second i thought it was female neosapient from Exo Squad.
Humanoid aliens are too cliche nowadays.
>>
>>105260727
Try to cook it first. Then season it for a day.
Then bake it in the oven on medium temperature for around 8 hours.
I shit you not, that's how mom was doing most of her roasts. God-tier taste.
>>
>>105238670
To keep it /co/ related you can whip up a pastrami burger iI tried in Disneyland. It had bacon, pastrami, mustard, saurkraut, cheese and a pickle slice
>>
>>105260788
There's some mad fuck who wanders around Pokeworld handing them out. For the lulz.
>>
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Omg /cock/ is back
>>
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>>105260761
You say weeb like hanging out on /co/ is any better.

Now making off topic posts
>>
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>>105260862
Sounds plausible.
>>
>>105238706
>Comics & Cooking
Yes please , having 2 boards is a bother and i need a place to dicuss Marvel comics investing into life-style , like with their cooking video and 'heroic' receipe.
>>
>>105260806
>cook it first
>then season
>then cook again by baking
What do you mean by cooking first?
>>
>>105260906
It makes no difference if it's better or not, you don't belong here and are not wanted.
>>
>>105260991
Anon probably means to sear the outside in a pan so that you get a nice crust on the skin that seals in all the juices. That's how I make lamb, anyway.
>>
>>105251470
Holy shit this. My dad is 60 and still hasn't learned that if you put pepper in while making stir fry you've effectively pepper sprayed the entire house.
>>
>>105260002
>cooking and vidya
I've kind of been wanting to plan a menu around Kingdom Hearts but haven't gotten beyond the whole sea salt ice cream thing and maybe something with star fruit.
>>
>>105261133
This or simply put it in the pot and boil for around 2-3 hours in salted water.
>>
>>105260002
Monster hunter food is kino
>>
>>105251051
Is the joke here that you're describing a McDonalds burger?
>>
>>105244804
>The 1% being the storytimes that no one replies to
Every time I enter a story time I die alittle inside, where did everyone go?
>>
>>105245226
I’m stealing this for my next pastas
>>
>>105251543
except anime threads don't get deleted
>>
>>105261407
Constant stream of underage newfags caused a lot of people to leave, and constant stream of bait threads hides any good ones well.
>>
Get Jiro is the best /cock/ comic of all time.
Chewfags don't bother replying to me.
>>
>>105261461
Even the /shelf/ threads have been flooded with shitposters and outrage fags
>>
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>>105259629
>not part of the creme master race
>>
>>105238716
Years ago my friends and I cut class and we went to one my friend’s family’s gun store to grill for lunch and for some reason he threw gun oil on the charcoal to get it going faster. It was absolutely disgusting, the burgers tasted like nothing but gun oil and I could taste it for weeks.
>>
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>>105259917
I made a Babovka the other day, tastes just like the ones my Grandma used to make in Czech, considering most of the shit I try making turns out shit I'm pretty happy about that.
>>
>>105264707
looks pretty good
>>
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>>105264044
What kind of oil? Hoppes? CLP? Oh god fucking god he didn't use eezox did he?
>>
>>105264851
It was Rem Oil. Which usually doesn’t smell bad but trust me you don’t want to eat food that’s been cooked in it.
>>
Why did the mods leave this thread up?
>>
>>105264707
Looks delicious.
Thanks.. now I am hungry and there is no cake at home...
>>
>>105266214
would you, ha ha, would you, snigger, would you say

the cake

is

a lie rofl
>>
>>105266578
win.rar
I want to go back...
>>
>>105260727
Sure, I’d feed it to Kamala, along with some other meat I got.
My penis, I’m talking about my penis
>>
>>105265938
Can't beat the /cock/.
>>
>>105261407
Idk, I storytimed all of Gotham by Gaslight and The Doom That Came To Gotham and only got one reply.
>>
This is still unironically my favorite thread on all of 4chan right now. Including that one. You all know what I'm talking about
>>
>>105261847
since when? I haven't seen any shitposters
>>
>>105238706
Mee too Anon, #MeToo
>>
>>105247454
>>105247687
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM8qCnOnztY
>>
>>105274597
I made The Denver, delicious but man was it dense
>>
>>105273846

Makes me think of when I used to manage a convenience store. A health tester congratulated our store for having the only milkshake machine he had ever seen that didn't have fecal matter in it.

The world is a never ending fight against shit.
>>
>>105246505
>Worst team came in last place
As it should be.
>>
>>105248499
I disagree but you get a pass because texture really is one of those things that can make or break, even if I myself am fine with most things.
>>
>>105275177
How the hell does poop get in a milkshake machine?
>>
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>>105239237
>he thinks humans aren't wild animals
>>
>>105259917
I took a 9lbs pork roast, dry rubbed it, soaked it in a custom marinade and then cooked and served it with a mix of diced yellow and red potatos, carrots and big ol onions cooked to perfect sweetness.
Got the roast just perfect, the meat was juicy, soft and a lovely color while the outside had a lovely crispiness to it, I was super proud of myself. It gave me the habit of rubbing in thick black pepper corns into the fatcap to make a better thin crust when it eventually would carbonize a bit. Everyone loved it and couldn't get enough of both it and the veggies, so it was truly my best kitchen moment.
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>>105270973
>only got one reply
That's because you storytimed old capeshit. Those that care have already read it a million times and those with good taste in comics wont bother with capeshit.

>>105272526
I never go to /shelf/ but I skimmed the previous one out of boredom. There was one guy that tried to (You)farm a couple times, but he never got more than a single Fuck Off out of it. Apparently he was so new he didn't even know the shitposting basics, like proper samefagging and such.
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>>105277231
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>>105276708
>clerk takes a shit
>clerk doesn't wash hands
>milkshake machine runs low
>clerk refills machine
>poo particles gets in
>???
>profit

It's not rocket surgery anon.
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>>105260727
Why is ham so popular? Neck is superior in both texture and taste.
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>>105238670
This thread.
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>>105264044
Sounds /k/ as fuck.
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>>105239047
Recrystallize it from iodized table salt, which is like a 10 minute operation involving water and heat. People who think they can taste the iodine are idiots, but they're also the idiots who use kosher salt, which is why it isn't iodized.

Alternatively use a coarse-grain sea salt, which at least contains some iodine compared to kosher salt's fucking nothing.

I mean ideally if we were all eating a balanced diet the iodine thing wouldn't matter, and neither would the niacin in cereals or the fluoride in water supplies because we'd all be getting these things, but repeated studies in the 19th and 20th centuries have show that, even when told that literally shitting where they get their drinking water from is a bad idea which is causing hundreds of people to die from entirely preventable and easily transmitted diseases, people would rather wear a shit-eating grin and declare that they can't see any germs and the whole thing is a scam designed to raise taxes and sell soap.

Don't skip iodine day, fag.
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>>105260727
slow-roast with a marmalade glaze; the bitterness of the orange and the sweetness of the sugar glaze will go well with the ham

>>105260273
you can make fish stock from shrimp shells in 1 minute with some boiling water, strain it, put it straight back on the heat, toss in some plain straight to wok noodles and a little cornflour dissolved in cold water, some chili flakes and the shrimp meat and cook until the shrimp is just pinked all over

congratulations, you've made 100% better spicy shrimp noodles in maybe 10 minutes because you had to shell the shrimp

szechuan pepper or some five spice wouldn't hurt it none either, maybe a few pak choi leaves
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What could be defined as the 'Calarts' of cooking?
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>>105259629
Does anyone have that one April Fools team themed thread where the guy was wanting dubs for TEAM ______, but was off by one ever single time?
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>>105278031
literally any kitchen is going to run on the same basics

if you're asking what school is producing the most fad styles, you probably want to go name bartender, those faggots are the worst

>artisanal Hot Mexican Hooker, $45 plus 25% service
>free Uber to the hospital if you die
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>>105248519
I get angry every time so shitty youtube "chef" just straight up puts msg on shit and pretends they're actually doing their job.
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>>105238843
Press F to pay respects to gay anon
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>>105251572
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>>105244017
>Worcestershire
>umami

I was going to rag on you for not understanding that it's basically a brine, but then i remembered you've probably only ever had generic American-made versions, which are sweeter, saltier (which is impressive, given that the original is basically as saturated with salt as it's possible to for water get) and probably do have msg in them

eat better
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>>105239237
should have told your mother that before she gobbled down your father
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>>105238670
>/ck/
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>>105278401
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>>105248292
I'm fine with diced onions on my burger (e.g. McDonald's cheeseburgers), but not when it is in rings
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>>105247810
>Batman's plot armor defends him even against chili
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>>105275177
>meanwhile, in china
>"hey should we buy or press some oil for cooking our street food?
>"and pay 5 yuan!? Fuck no lol just scoop up some sewer sludge and strain the solids out. We'll call it "gutter oil"
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