>>3317051Last thread reached image limit
Not last thread's OP but I got some stuff to get off my chest.For a while my depression was doing much better, but it's back to the point where I have frequent crying spells and impulses to harm myself. Trying to get my medication straightened out with my psych but it's going to take at least another week, if not a month or two, to make any progress. Put me on another booster pill and if that doesn't help he's gonna change my main antidepressant, which can totally fuck up the other meds I'm on. And only when that's under control can I get the ADHD meds I badly need. So that's gonna be fun.Also, I recently realized I've been hardcore repressing feelings for my best friend. I've had like 3 panic attacks due to it since it occurred to me. Life seems to be taking us down different paths, them starting college in a couple months, and me having to come back as a "super senior" since I'm fucking retarded. And the person in question doesn't even swing my way, so not only do I not have a chance with them, but soon I'll probably be hardly even spending time as friends with them anymore. I know it's a perfectly common youngin problem and I'm just being a chickenshit but it still feels like my world's coming apart, yknow?Anyways, sorry for the essay. Hope things get better/stay good for all of yall.
>>3325867>fave boyOuma!>how you're doingwonderful! amazing!very very sad and upset hes not real but I will power through it! fuck!
>>3325957what would you do if your husbando was real? i'm kind of having similar feelings for a different character
>>3325962ideally? try to befriend him and (in a not too pushy way) get closer to him, despite how difficult that might be considering the type of person he is...realistically? cower away and be too nervous to say even a word to him!
>>3325962probably just admire him from afar pathetically
things go back and forth so fast. usually in the mornings i feel good, and by the time afternoon rolls around i get depressed. it probably has to do with my medicine. :(in other news, here is a qt hinata
>>3325975>probably just admire him from afar patheticallythat too
>husbandoKaworu>if realhave sex
>>3325962Buy him and give him a good, cushy life as my emotional support android - is what I'd say if I had any money. Realistically, nothing would change and I'd just keep fantasizing about having the real thing like usual
There's nothing going on with my life as it is and sometimes I think that I truly wasn't mean to live past the age of 20. Last year I was diagnosed with ASD, which didn't help my emotional situation at all. I'm assisting therapy now but i don't think i'm getting a lot out it. I feel like some sort of amorphous undefined blob with no identity beyond a shitty diagnosis that gets constantly meme'd on the internet. I've never felt quite as lonely as i've felt these past months. Yet, I can't stand being around other people anymore. I swear I can feel their pity and their judgment when they look at me and i want non of it.I wish I was normal.
>>3325994Anon, many of your feelings resonate with me: that wishing to die young thing, wishing to be normal, not having an identity besides a diagnosis and feeling bad about what people may think about you. I was also diagnosed last year, turns out my parents knew but never told me until a couple years ago, then I got the diagnosis confirmed.What kind of therapy are you doing? If you don't think it's helping you should say so to your therapist and look for other options. That's what I did and I just started CBT, seems it'll help with the anxiety, depression, and breaking the ruminating thoughts.About feeling lonely, what kind of stuff do you like? Any hobbies? You could try joining a group with other people that have your same interests, then you have some common ground. And they don't need to know about you being on the spectrum (unless you choose to tell them) because believe it or not you're more than a diagnosis. I'm sure you have feelings, memories, wants, likes, dislikes, etc. All those things make you yourself.
>husbandoNagito>how i'm doingI'm just getting out of a bout of depression and I'm feeling great! I'm going outside more and also losing a lot of weight.
>>3326016>Nagitogood taste!I hope you continue to feel great and stay healthy friend
>>3325867went through a rough patch recently, looking forward to making positive progress
I want to marry Mista. I know his life is busy and dangerous, he wouldn't have much time for me, but that's ok. I know he might die suddenly in a mission gone wrong or something, but I still want to. I want to make him the best spaghetti, pizza, lasagna, risotto, and all those cozy homemade traditional dishes, and watch his happiness as his tummy is filled. I want to make love with him but also let him pound whatever holes on my body after he's had a rough day. I want to be cuddled by his warm big bod and strong arms. I want to nuzzle my face on his hairy chest. I want to grope his ass and mantitties out of the blue and watch him get all embarrassed. I want to comfort him when he cries. I'm usually not a cuck, but if he cheats on me with somebody else a lot more beautiful like Giorno, that's fine. I just want him to be happy. I'd like to watch them fuck, at least. I'll always be waiting at home. I'll always be waiting.
>>3325867Feeling hopeful for the future. I have a lot of ptsd moments and I feel like they're at least a little more tolerable when I'm surrounded by support. I'm not pushing everyone away all the time, at least.
Mettaton, my beloved for over 3 years and still going!Right now I'm basically getting screwed by midterms (quarter system is not fun) and recovering from the stomach flu. ACEN is next weekend though, so I've got something to look forward to at least!
I'm not really sure if he is my fave, but here you go. I'm doing fine, slowly recovering from my first breakup, getting into things I was into before and starting to feel content with myself. Anons, I hope everything goes well for you all!
>>3326133C'mon anon, I'm sure you're capable of deeper insight.
>>3326175Remember what site your on, this isn't your fake therapy hugbox.I'm I the only one here who is actually fine with being a shut in neet with no friends since elementary school.
>>3326193>I'm I the only one here who is actually fine with being a shut in neet with no friends since elementary school.remember what site you're on
>>3326133I would lie if I say I wasn't expecting one of these.>>3326014Yeah I'm assisting CBT too but I started a few months ago and things are not going as fast as I wish they did.Before getting diagnosed with this I got misdiagnose with like 3 very different but equally as shitty things over the years, all of them treatable but equally as stigmatized and eventually that started wearing off the little faith I had in myself and the faith I had in therapy and professionals in general.I'm just really really tired of all this.I truly wish I still had an ounce of hope in my system, but right now I'm like still trying to accept that maybe this one diagnose is the real deal. Maybe. I mean I certainly fit more of the criteria in autism that I did with bipolarity...>You could try joining a group with other people that have your same interests, then you have some common groundThat's the thing, I just cannot speak to people anymore even about things I like. I feel like I just cannot match their level of enthusiasm and it only makes me feel like I drag people down to the same hole I am by just being my boring ass self, I know how discouraging is to be happy about something and get just a lukewarmresponse.I truly don't want to accidentally act shitty, I know I can get angsty and hostile when I get overwhelmed and I just don't want to hurt people by accident either, I've done it when I was younger and I'm still regretting it.Is always difficult to reply to well meaning and thoughtful posts like this, I actually barely write my posts here so is difficult. English is not my first language too so my grammar may get kinda messy at times. Anyways, I'm sorry.
been doin alright recently, some good days some meh days. i had some really tough times and wrestled with the anxiety/depression/adhd trio, still wrestling the first and the last from time to time, but it's actually interesting to try and overcome now that i'm not depressed anymore. focusing on one step forward at a time and trusting the direction i'm heading in.reflected a bit and realized that i didn't feel compelled by my current circumstances to share anything, but i remember being interested in hearing about other peoples' experiences when i was mentally feeling like absolute shit day in and day out, and hearing those helped give me some much-needed perspective. reading what a lot of you have posted reminded me of those times and i can empathize. it's a struggle, but you're absolutely doing better for valuing improving yourself. feeling responsible for things outside of your control is a byproduct of depression, so do your best to be kind to yourselves, anons.and honestly if you think it can't get any worse, just imagine being a proud self-proclaimed 4chan standard-bearing neetlord and take a deep breath
>>3326209I've gone through a similar situation for all of my life anon, no matter how many hobbies I have, no matter how much passion I pour into them, I seem to be unable to connect to other people through them. I tried to open up and expose myself to others and it didn't work out, it only made me feel more lonely because I realized not even my most treasured interests could help me bond with other people. I still don't give up, though. I think the best way to approach this for someone like us is to simply focus on our interests, on the things we truly love. Investigate, explore, get deeper into them and spend time thinking about those things you like, everyday think about what makes you happy. Then try to act on it. Not for anyone else, just for yourself. Make your life revolve around what you love, with the confidence of someone who knows they're doing something they genuinely enjoy.And then just wait. Maybe someday, you might accidentally run into someone you'll find it easy to connect with thanks to all the dedication you put into yourself.I truly hope you can find the strength to go through this.
>current favoriteFinished my college semester a few weeks ago. Currently in-between jobs and relearning how to drive, considering I haven't done it since August of 2017. >>3326216great taste anon
I don't want to study anymore, I don't want to go to work, or go outside, or see anybody, or eat anything. I have zero motivation to do much at all. I wish I had the will to go on.
>>3326216Thanks anon.I haven't given up either, I know the dread and monotony I feel is momentary so for the time being I'll just take things slowly and keep at it.On the other hand, at least this situation has motivated me to stop caring in a way and just start drawing whatever the hell I want as often as possible regardless of how many fundamentals I lack.
>>3325867Lost my concentration and my wrist and back are hurting like hell but I need to finish all this school work so yeah could've been better 6/10.Can't wait for it to be summer so I can work on my own projects again.
been trying to get into video editing so i can make pvs for my music and i'm about to lose my mind because of how fucking annoying it is to find a half-decent software that doesn't make you shill out like fifty bucks a month. right now i settled with movie maker pro but i still can't get it to not look like a .jpeg from 1996. all that aside though, i'm doing alright in general>>3325962try to make friends with him. he seems like a fun dude to be around, and i like talking to other musicians
I keep getting wicked hunger pains even after I ate as early as 2 hours ago. It's fucking annoying and makes eating feel like a chore just to make them go away
I'm absolutely excellent. I passed math final, I can stay in college now!
>>3325867>Husbando Yoshikage Kira>How i'm i doing To be honest i'm glad i was born into kinda Rich family if i was born in poor family my life would be even more shit since not only i would have no friends but i also would not have no Internet to escape my Pathetic life , Anyway aside from being lonely i'm fine .
Make sure you drink water, eat enough protein, and get some sun in trying times.
>>3327036but remember to get sun while using sunscreen!
>>3326517Update: job offer I was banking on fell through, as well as some other back-up plans I had for work. The only thing now is to keep applying. Or do McDonalds. feels bad man
Ugh, my left shoulder has gotten a lot worse. Starting around last October, I had these pain in the back of my neck where my spine starts, but for the past week it's worsened into a shooting sharp pain in my left shoulder if I even move wrong. I also feel this little pop everytime I move it. I've also just been feeling more anxious in general lately, as well as forgetting to eat more often. Hopefully it gets better soon.
>>3327111Sounds like a confracture, if you can't go to a chiropractor or to get a massage I recommend sleeping on the floor for a few days. I get the same problem with my neck and my able arm kinda like, popping out, but it usually goes away when I lay flat on my back for a few nights.
I've been having a hard time getting my sleep schedule back in order. It should be as simple as turning my pc off and going to bed but I don't have a lot of self control.
>>3327122I'll be sure to try that tonight, tysm anon!
Hi, I'm new. Doing well. Tummy hurts though.
Doing Oka so far. I feel I'm being pressured into a career path I dont want and the possibility of failing at it is overwhelming at times.
Super groggy and stressed, but my birthday is coming up so that's a plus
>>3327439Happy Birthday anon, doing anything special?
>>3327236Why does your tummy hurt anon, too much buttsex?
>>3327441Thank you! I'm probably just going to eat out at a Chinese place nearby haha
>>3327442That's not how you engage people anon...
>>3327445Nice. I wish I could join you.
>>3325868That's great anon!
>>3325867i'm hot, tired, small headache, kinda hungry. I'm lots of things but I'm pretty alright.
>>3327541>i'm hoti bet
>>3327542you bet your ass i am. jk im sweating like a mad man
>>3327544jealous, i'm cold. i miss the hot weather, it's a lot sexier
>>3327547but hot chocolate is the ultimate cute drink. especially for sharing with cute boys.
>>3327549true, it's nice to get by the fire, too. how do you make it, with real chocolate, i hope?
>>3327552milk and powder like a loser. maybe i'll find a recipe with actual chocolate though, that actually sounds really comfy.
>>3327554i just use regular store-bought chocolate, powder, butter, brown sugar, and in the mug i mix in some whipped cream. pretty nice i think, very sweet
>>3327558thanks, will do next time!
>>3327560hope you enjoy it, qt
>Fave BoyYuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia>How I'm DoingI'm okay, a bit tired from work but okay none the lessI have a thing for cute boys with long hair, it's actually why I've been growing mine out (I'm still not to my perfered length yet, though a good few more months should do it)
>>3327597>I have a thing for cute boys with long hair, it's actually why I've been growing mine outPatrician's choice.
>>3326126I would have a three way with Mista and Giorno
weather's already fucking hot where i live. going to be ninety degrees this sunday. now i just wish there was a private place where i can sunbathe in peace [spoiler]preferably naked because that shit feels nice[/spoiler]
>fave boyMy boyfriend >How I’m doingExcited but nervous. I’m moving down near him at the beginning of the month, so after two long years our long-distance relationship finally won’t be long-distance anymore. I’m happy with that, but on the other hand, he’s turning 21 and it’s time he learned how to say “no” to his family and childhood friends. He needs to stop asking them for permission to live his life and do the things he wants to. He has a big, kind heart, but he’s too hesitant to set limits on people he cares about, and whether they mean to or not, they end up overstepping appropriate bounds, making unfair demands on him, and really just taking advantage of him. He needs to assert his independence - which he knows, and I think he’s trying to get me to push him toward it (which I’m happy to do). So, basically good, but there’s a lot of challenges left in front of us.
>>3326014>That's what I did and I just started CBT, seems it'll help with the anxiety, depression, and breaking the ruminating thoughts.I’ll be happy to give you some... CBT, anon. :)
>>3325868>>3325994Ah, I feel your pain, guys. I've been going through similar shit recently.My work at the graphic design corporation's tough: we switched to a 4 day-11 hour schedule and I find myself feeling overwhelmed sometimes. I've also been getting back into art, particularly my fundamentals. My ultimate goal is to create a BL webcomic of my own, complete with lewd artwork of the leads.Trouble is I've been getting OCD attacks again related to art, trying to get this OC's hair just right by imitating another webcomic's OC. It sucks, because I love this comic and think the characters are cute and sexy at the same time, which are goals. I hate that something I love is giving me pain.
>>3329350obviously it's all personal, but i've heard from multiple sources that 4 day work weeks end up being more comfy, hopefully that rings true for you.while something you love is giving you pain seems bad (and it probably is--feeling bad sucks), the positive spin is that you mean you're putting hard work in it and that you care for it! nobody gets upset over something they're apathetic on. with that said i cannot directly relate, but just know that you can keep going :)also why does hair take so long to grow.
>>3327095Update again: It has been over a week and I'm probably going to have to go to a shit job by the beginning of June. Mostly because I need funds for college next semester. At least the weather's nice over here.>>3329350I know the feel when it comes to art bro. I haven't drawn anything I really like in a while and I'm literally going into art as a career. At least we can draw cute boys though.