Share, vent, post cute girls. Feel better. Please.Maybe ease up on the self-harm images in case they get you a temp ban.Previous thread: >>3475576Many Pixiv images may be too big to post on 4chan if you save them without the _master file. Consider sacrificing quality for catharsis.
So do any of you know how you got to where you are now?tldr post life stories
>>3486083>Sad & Depressed Thread IV>IVI think this thread is the third one.
>>3486427the last one was really the third
I've been in such a pit lately. Be it for a week, a month or 12 years depending on how you look at it. I've fallen hard on old habits, alcohol to sedate and self harm to punish. My body is about as much a mess as my mind. I'm nearing the anniversary of my first failed suicide. To be honest I never saw it as a failure, my heart kept beating but something definitely died that day. Living in a post suicide world nothing has ever been quite the same. I don't want to die daily, not how it has been in the past in the traditional sense. But my life is so destroyed, mind, body and soul that it seems a very likely reality that there's no way back to a sustainable way of living. There must be a point where the effort required to rebuild a life exceeds the value of the destroyed object. Everything can be replaced.Anyway, that's my piece. I find these threads very comforting but this is my first vent. Thank you for being here.
>>3486745I've always thought of the lingering feeling of depression as a way for the mind and body to let all of the dread, worries, and ill things about us to slowly leak out until there's nothing left. I just remind myself that it's a natural process that the body is going through, but never that there's an end to it, otherwise I'll want it all to get overwith even quicker, which just disturbs the process.Thought this thread would only let me post images, but now I hope to share the venting space with you anons. So really, thank YOU for being here.
you know I might have some problems, but I tend to vent only when I'm actively sad and my mood is lower than usual. That feels more authentic.
>>3486938shet, didn't read the self-harm notice, F
>>3486745>There must be a point where the effort required to rebuild a life exceeds the value of the destroyed object. Well, where i born people used to say; Something cost as much, as someone wants to pay, pls anon just think than soon or late you will be dead, no need to rush it.
I keep internalizing everything and when I'm finally at my limit I snap over some really unimportant thing because it just reminds me of how little people actually try to care about my emotions and I get down for several weeks and nobody really knows why and then when I'm back to normal they pretend nothing happened because they don't actually care about me, they just don't want to deal with my problems
>>3487373I hate to be that person but where is your sad anime girl ??
>>3487402sorry, don't post often
>>3486094I never learned how to stand up for myself. I was bullied relentless. I can't enjoy things without feeling embarrassment or shame. But I don't know how much I can blame it all on other people.
>>3487461Ok no problem and about your problem you look like you're doing fine because when you "snap over some really unimportant thing" you're able to recover by yourself, just keep it going you're a strong anon.
Anons, I don't know if I can help you. And I don't know who hurt you, but you don't have to let them control your life any longer. And you're not as far gone as you might think.
I used to have a big group of friends to hang out with at warm summer days like this one. I used to have a huge crush on this one chick and she liked me back etc. etc.I moved to a industry-city way up north around 2 years ago to operate in the mines, best job I've ever had so I got myself an apartment and settled down along with my cat. All was fine and well at first, friends came by and we played games when they weren't here.My friends started to visit me less and less and on occasions when we drink we usually hang out on VrChat. It felt fine at first but I started to miss human interactions with people my same age.In this city there are mostly people in their 40's and less girls than at my old programming school. Tried going out to drink a couple of times but there's always some fight breaking out. The last hook-up I had was with some single mom that just divorced her husband and was 42, almost old enough to be my mother.I tried to end my life by overdosing but I chickened out and contacted someone who called 911 on me so I was sent to the hospital for a day.I'm mostly sitting around now, keeping contact with around 2 people online, keeping a poker-face as I just don't have the energy to talk about this with someone. And I don't have the energy to quit my job and get a new one as it's not that easy to get an apartment in my old hometown.All I look forward to on the days I'm off is to drink.
>>3487606So you miss your normalfag days ?? nice history my anon.
>>3487606>I used to have a big group of friends to hang out with at warm summer days like this onesame here anon, i never thought i'd miss it, i though i'd always have friends. i wish i could talk to people online, i hate myself to the point where i feel like a burden on whoever is forced to talk to mei hate thinking of the past, i miss having people around who made me feel wanted. its always weird to think about how much you've changed over the years and how you wish for things to go back to the way it used to be. i wonder what my younger self would do differently if they saw me now.>I tried to end my life by overdosing but I chickened outit may not mean anything at all but i'm glad you're still here. you're apart of /c/ and you're one of the few people i get to talk to, it scares me to think that there are probably some anons from /c/ out there that i've talked to who are probably no longer alive>All I look forward to on the days I'm off is to drink.same, i never thought i'd become an alcoholic but it really creeps up on you
>>3487492i feel you anon, i have nothing outside of /c/ and i'm terrified of holding any strong opinions due to being laughed at over the course of my life. i'm also terrified of talking to people for many reasons, one being out of fear of being judged due to having no hobbies or interests as well as a bland uninteresting job if you get called worthless, pathetic, or annoying enough times by enough people, you slowly start to believe it yourself - or at least i did
>>3487606Im not going to say much, but you can make it, not everything is lost
>>3487892>no hobbiesThere is probably something you would enjoy doing. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm afraid to share, too. >you slowly start to believe it yourself - or at least i didI know. It's very hard to metabolize self-esteem. And if you aren't getting any from yourself, or anybody else, sometimes they fill you with negativity. But you're not worthless to me, or the people in this thread, anon.
>>3487956Are you Pho's husband by any chance?
>>3487986I wish I was but she already has one.
>>3486094I've been a total loser my entire life really. In school I had few friends, I was more of a third wheel than anything. Nobody really cared about me, I think I was just the person they felt sorry for but didn't have it in their hearts to actually tell me to go away. I haven't spoken to any of them in a long time. Dealt with bullying throughout most of school, but nobody stepped in, sometimes I got mocked by the people I turned for help (teachers, parents, etc). I guess that taught me that I shouldn't ask for help.I've had anxiety and depression for at least as long as my teenage years. I have no self-confidence (which often made me just not hand in school assignments out of embarrassment) and this brought down my school grades.I now have work a shit job with a bunch of normies who often grill me on why I have no friends and all that. Luckily the nature of the job means I don't really need to interact with them too much.I don't really have any life goals or direction, I kinda just go through the days without really being there mentally. I don't enjoy life but I'm not particularly suicidal anymore either. I'm just very unhappy.So I'm just stuck between wanting to have a happier life but with my mentality pulling me towards just lying in my room all day and being isolated.
>>3488116I'm glad you're here anon. I hope you find some pleasure in life soon. I'm glad to here you're not an active risk to yourself.
Are pictures by @HamsterFragment still count as acceptable here?
>>3488769I don't see anything wrong with them
>>3486945sauce? I keep seeing this one aroundTwin Fantasy is a pretty good feels album
I'm glad to see so many people opening up here. I haven't seen this many people open up their hearts since the Nonon threads or the Waifu threads.
>>3489383>sauceShe Doesn't Know Why She Lives, very damn good read in my opinion.
This caught me by surprise and somehow managed to make me sad for a whole week.
>>3489447Do you know anything about volume 2 btw? It's out in Japan but I don't know if anyone is translating it at the moment.
>>3490188Apparently nobody does, even the raws of Vol.2 are nowhere to be seen online.
I survived a suicide attempt last year and now i'm a spoiler Bert but happyMy main concern is hanging out with my few Friends and engaging in creating art
>>3490229>Spoiler BertMeant spoiled neet
>>3486094I developed mental illness in high school that grew completely unchecked all the way up into college. After my third year there, which was spent mostly in my room, naked, smoking pot, reading creepypasta, and trying to find cameras I was convinced had been installed somewhere, I failed almost all my classes and had to drop out. I started taking meds, but they didn't help. I would go up on weekends to visit my friends and drink/smoke/party, and this went up until New Years of 2013/14. The next time I messaged them asking who I could stay with, I was informed I was no longer welcome, but never told why. Over the past five and a half years, I've asked multiple people repeatedly why they all shunned me, but the only answer I got was that this one girl, Rose, really hated me, and convinced everyone else to turn on me for her. It's weird, because Rose was my closest female friend and I shared personal aspects of my life that to date I still haven't shared with anyone else.Now, I'm 28, fat, jobless, so heavily medicated that can I rarely get through a day without needing to nap, and living with my parents, and I accidentally guilt tripped my far more successful younger brother into not moving out and getting his own place because I cut the fuck out of myself after we had a huge fight and he found out by walking in on it.
>>3490250I'll give help,its harsh help but its what you need.being job-less isnt bad,I think in an era where a thot get rich selling bath water getting a job is silly.Just be nice to your parents in return for "leeching off" thembenzos can be a nasty trip. Reduce them step by step,not all of a sudden.only take benzos if you wanna suicide,otherwise they're kinda useless.I think you were a degenerate for smoking pot and partying but you're still alive,repent of your misdeeds and help someonevolunteer or give a % of your money to a non-evil charity(unicef ,for example,is evil, or Amnesty int. is also evil)being fat is not so hard to change,you need a combo of intermitent fasting and heavy lifting. ignore cardio.you may reeplace lifting with calisthenics.you should say sorry to your brother,ignore the people who betrayed you because of rose,and move on.try to make 3 friends and visit each one at least 1 time per 2 weeks
>>3490259>That imageIf you wanna be some kind of moral coach go ahead but stop posting such low low quality images pls.
>>3490336Well, at least this one isn't painful to see.
>>3490351Is not my business but are you drunk ??
>>3490354I'm quite conscious. Merely reflecting on human nature. We love to suffer, we truly crave it. To be tormented by memories and things we can't control. We purposefully seek out misery and misfortune if only to say we played the game of life as best we could but came up short. To deny yourself the human experience, whether out of fear of rejection or what pain may come, is to cease to be human and to die spiritually, allowing oneself to become an embittered husk. It's only through suffering, through the embrace of every barb and cut that man can truly know how to love. There is no other way that we know how to live, to truly live this thing called life, to know how to love being alive, than to seek out the arrows of misfortune.
>>3490368That's a lot of fancy words my anon, you sound like if you came straight from a book of self-help but ok i get it, at least you're trying to help.
>>3490336>>3490351there are no anime girls in these images, take this elsewhere while it's good to vent or offer advice, the whole point of the thread and this entire board is cute anime girls
>>3490957This looks like bait but anyway I will answer you;>Damn you guys are really bumming me out. Why don't you like cheer upWhy you have to enter in this kind of thread in first place ?? besides that nobody cares about what you like.>look at some cool anime pictures (which is what we're supposed to be doing here anyway).And you don't post one, good job my anon.
>>3491045That image is a bit disgusting.
>>3490368100% pure unadulterated cope. The weak and powerless revel in their weakness and powerlessness because gaining the moral high ground is how they cope. I know countless poor, depressed losers but I sure as shit don't see any wealthy chads giving up their money and status for the "spiritual experience" of being a suicidal drug addict, do you?I'm not attacking you personally but I got so tired of hearing the same exact shit when I tried to get into Christianity. Nietzsche hit the nail on the head when he specifically called out Christianity as being what he called a "slave morality", but Aesop called out Christianity for what it was 600 years before it even existed: sour grapes. Just look at the 7 virtues:>can't get laid? chastity is godly!>you're a starving peasant? temperance is a virtue!>tired of doing manual labor 16 hours a day? the diligent will be rewarded in heaven!>broke as fuck? it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven!>you're a coward and afraid to fight back? the meek shall inherit the earth!>not enjoying your life as a feudal serf? thinking of deposing the nobility and ruling yourself? envy and pride are mortal sins, my brother!Now I'm frustrated instead of depressed, so you helped I suppose. Thanks, I guess.
>>3491203Based Lain poster
>>3491203No swearing, please.
>>3491255we're posting sad anime girls in a thread where sad people can talk about it, but we're not pussies.
>>3491255No offense was intended. I try my best to respect other /c/ posters but I can't promise to self-censor any more than board rules require.
>>3488116have you ever considered drawing? it may give you a small sense of purpose. Don't focus on making good art, just art. Get firealpaca and a cheap wacom tablet and just play with color and shape. It helps me a lot. good luck.
I want to give advice and cheer people up but i dont want to come across as a self-righteous prickif anyone wants my advice ill gladly help
>>3491536The best way to cheer people up is with bad jokes.>Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. >The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
>>3491573how do you call the ceremony where a sailor and his fiancee get married?a naval engagement!also people don't give up, you can stay be strong and pack a pucnch at life. Bite off the bad,chew it and spit it up!if you're in rock bottom find a spring and jump to the top
>>3491600>alitaI don't remember this part, from what chapter is this ??
>>3491610this page means a lot to me, k-on was a massively important anime in my life, and the fact that this doujin introduced a layer of reality to some escapist moeshit gave me catharsisgodspeed kyoani
>>3492025Well, TK doujins are on another level, that man is able of making such memorable scenes in the bad and good way.
i feel so tired all the timei have nothing that brings me any sort of enjoyment anymoremy single pastime is looking at pictures of anime girls and crying
the tears won't fucking comei can't do anything but cry
>>3492478Have you tried cutting an onion?
I want to be a hollow man who shows up for an easy 9 - 5 office job 5 days a week, not minding the people I work with but declining any invitation they give me to go out with them while living in a comfortable, cozy house/apartment where it's always dark and gloomy with overcast, enveloped in rain and snow during their respective seasons, with full bookshelves and slightly dusty but otherwise good furniture. I want to be alone and just write every evening, occasionally forcing myself to get haircuts and go shopping for food/new clothing. When I finally die, I don't want to be found until a week or 2 later, either when a neighbor finally notices that my far and few activities have ceased entirely for a while now, or when someone comes to my home to reacquire the router because of an unpaid bill.I want to have evenings where I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't just go out for a walk amidst a blizzard, only leaving behind a note that says I've gone out and may be some time. I want some women to occasionally try and get to know me, only to find that I am nothing, no-one, and have nothing interesting to offer them. I want people to think they want me as a friend, only to learn that I'm not so affable or friendly, and that I'm a man of few words because I have nothing remarkable to offer them and am unworthy of being anything more than a minuscule part of their life's journey. Occasionally, I want someone to look me in the eyes, see me for the empty thing I am, and reflect some of that sadness in their own eyes, so that they can appreciate their own life that much more.When I'm gone I want someone to look through my things, read what I have written, and weep. Weep for me, if that I may be a soul before oblivion, I'll know I've made a lasting impression upon 1 other. That will be enough to have been worthwhile.
>>3493796jesus, seek help. aside from wanting the house/apartment, that shit ain't normal.
>>3493796Do you have a place you put your writing? I quite enjoyed this.
>>3493796One step more and you will become Yoshikage Kira, to be honest, I like people like you, pls never change my anon.
>>3493796god that's a feel
Well, I made it /c/, 26 trips around the sun. A week before my 18th birthday I tried and failed my first attempt to die. Every day since then has felt unearned. Suicide stains deep. I hate this day because it's meant to be a day of self reflection, but I struggle to look at myself. Physically and emotionally. All I have to show for this past year is a growing alcoholism, more self harm scars, major weight gain and a broken heart. Doesn't exactly encourage pride in myself.Here's to another /c/. Let the spiral continue ever downwards.
Still missing my ex like crazy was with her 6 years her favorite animal were giraffes she was cute and blonde like pic related kinda dumb too like giraffe Chan. Thinking about blowing my brains out soon
i haven't left the house in a week nowyesterday it just dawned upon me that im physically incapable of enjoying anything from years of conditioning myself to studyi don't know what i am anymore
>>3486094Ever since childhood, i never had any real friends. The only person i could consider a friend was my sister, but she was 3 years older, and as a kid that is a lot. Whenever she hung out with her friends, i obviously tried to join them, but being the annoying little brother, they made it clear they don't want me there, a few times even straight up just saying it. This made me realize that to her, i was only a back-up friend, i was fun to be around only if there was no other choice. At my teens i had a few actual "friends", but i never seemed to fit in. I was always the one who initiated contact, we met only once a week max, and while they were my best and only friends, i wasn't even really a part of their friend group. Again, a back-up friend. All of these experiences obviously fucked up my self esteem, my confidence, social skills, etc. Now, years later, i have social anxiety and depression, though those experiences were just a part of why i'm such a mess. I was also bullied at school, but if i talked about that this post would be too long, and it's not like anyone cares anyway.And the worst part is, i can't even kill myself and escape my life. My mother and sister seem to love me, and who knows what they'd do if i kms. I've got no choice but to continue to suffer in this shithole of a life. blammo, there you go
>>3486094We got separate reports with each report every year about our behavior during school and some personal info. According to this, I haven't changed very much since my childhood. The teachers always complained how I wanted to be alone, didn't participated in anything or got angry over silly things. I lost my last friend after school, that was 20 years ago. Tried to commit suicide back then and went to therapy for another few years. Still, I miss those times, since I was full of emotions and eager for any change. Nowadays I can waste entire weeks on the pc while my coworkers and family are avoiding me as much as possible. I'm 36 now, couldn't achieve anything and be scared of every new day.
>>3489661what am i looking at here
>>3494498>Japan: appears cut, but utterly cutthroatIt is known.
>>3494291>All I have to show for this past year is a growing alcoholismTell me anon what are your favorite drinks?? I want some new to cope with life, for me Jägermeister does the job and I love it.>>3494294>Thinking about blowing my brains out soonOnly for a dumb bitch?? If you can find one once, you can find another one again, love is nothing special and being alone has advantages, soon or later you'll be dead no need to rush it.>>3494405>i haven't left the house in a week nowThis isn't too bad>im physically incapable of enjoying anything from years of conditioning myself to studyYou seem like a smart anon, at least you have a goal to pursue.>>3494412>I've got no choice but to continue to suffer in this shithole of a life. Welcome to adulthood my anon, next time remember to post one sad anime girl>>3494465S-sorry i'm a ESL>>3494496Pure sadness
>>3494573looks more like yuri
i feel awful and my mental state is only getting worst as every little thing seems to make me horribly depressedi've been in and out of bed all dayi really want a hugplease
its really getting tiring and i don't know what to do
>>3494573Not the other commenter, but I'm a whisky fan. I drink a little amount with 2 ice cubes maybe 3 times a week. I haven't tried that many, but I like High West Double Rye (strong and spicy), Iwai (clean, easy drinking), and the House Targaryen GoT whisky (chocolately and decadent).