Thot status: PatrolledPrevious thread: >>3056591
let's use this one to collect all the horse reaction images/gifs/webms we have so far
>enough internet for today anon>to bed with you, you have to get up early.>lights off at 10pm>I'll check!!
>>3068891>That restrained rear end liftHoly shit she almost died.
>>3068891If they turn round like that expel your gas bladder immediately and shoot to safety. She got lucky.
>>3068899Damn I wish my mom was a horse. Imagine.
>>3069099well then you'd be a horse too. well done, champ
>>3068899But moooooooom I'm about to finish this raid with my guild in world of horscraft online
>>3069101the shit moms have to put up with
>>3069108I can't get over how admonishing she looks
>>3069111she is not fucking having it
Saturday night is for horse music
imagine showing up at the club like this.you'd fucking drown in poon.
>>3069124People make music using the horse that made musichttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u139At4S7c
>>3069134that guy has an unnaturally smooth forehead
>>3069244that happens when your usual face expressions don't include heavy forehead wrinkling, don't spend a ton of time in outside in the sun and also genetics of course.but yeah, full on sunlight causes wrinkles the most.
>>3069342For a normal comic artist the dick he drew is suspiciously spot on. Normal artist usually think they look like human dicks with foreskin and all.
what's their secret
>>3069432being big WHILE being cute
>>3069434hey, I recognize that pose
>>3069486Anyone else kinda suspect they can secretly talk but they're being sneaky?
Can horses be gay ?
>>3070281>inb4 that webm
>>3070281no, they just mount and cum in each other for the giggles. it's just banter.
>>3070589Some of them are really gorgeous
>>3070667Noriker horses are also usually total bros. Very nice horses indeed.
>>3069391A good artist must always have an understanding of anatomy. It's not like you can't google horsecock. Also, as a fun note, people use bull dicks to make whip-canes and they're deadly.
>>3070281It's not gay if its equine
>>3069391>with foreskin and all.Probably a circumcised Yank.
>>3070281geldings probably confuse them, like being surrounded by traps
>>3070747you can't say danger without anger
Icelandic Blue-eyed horse
>>3070838I rode them at Laxnes. Amazing little creatures.
Anyone wrestle with smaller horse? I can pick up a whole shetland pony.
>>3070909That first one was pretty impressive. No rope, no enclosure, nothing but a grip on the ear. Not her (?) first rodeo obviously!
>>3070838>those eyes>that little smile
>>3070909no, it's rude
Should you clean out the crust and eye goo from a horse or does it serve a purpose? I take mine out first thing so I always took it out of them. Tastes really bad if you get it in your mouth though.
>>3070935It serves no purpose literally in my eyes so why would it in theirs so yeah, I'd take it out, just normal eye boogers
>>3069059WE HAVE A SKUNK OVER HEREGET HIM
>that's not how to treat wahmen
the eyelashes movement.looks like donkeys live in eternal sadness.
What are the rarest horse colours?
Anybody in the UK got horses? I'll buy you a meal if you let me ride with you.
>>3071469Florescent rainbow and camouflage.
>>3071506Why not check out a riding centre? UK has a ton of those. I'd offer but wrong hemisphere.
I feel as though there's a connection between horse's latent musical talent and donkey's enormous head mounted listening devices
>>3071616I think you're on to something.
>>3071616>>3071635they're born to listen
Awkward boomer is getting it
>>3071794>if you only knew how bad things really are
What is the way they show some affection and that they like you?
>>3071800On rare occasions they may give you a friendship bracelet
>>3071800some signs are ears upwards pointed and directed towards you, smooth movements, calm sniffing near your nose, generally showing interest in you and what you're doing, following you happily, getting excited whenever you show up etc
>>3071812What does it look like Anon?
>>3071794That horse was having none of it. Nipple protruding. Disrespectful.
>>3071800They do this to you, usually when you're grooming them/giving them a scratch. Sometimes they just go full teeth on you though and your skin isn't designed for that. Most of it will come off if you're not mareful.
>>3071800>>3071820This is an example of using their teeth, they will sometimes do that and it hurts, they mean well though.
>>3071800A lot of the time they'll just stand near you though being a horse.
>>3071822the stronk one is almost mauling the necklet one which even looks a bit concerned and reserved
[enthusiastic gospel vocal solo]
>>3070935I'm sure they don't remove it themselves in the wild.
>>3071512I don't want an instructed experience. Thanks for the hypothetical offer though.
>>3071879>whoa oh Black Betty
>>3071826A very friendly gift
What was the natural size for horses prior to domestication?Large pony size?
>>3072180Tarpan was like a large pony, Lena horse the same, so a pony is more "natural" form of a horse I guess
>>3072145It's a little more intense than a human one too. As their new friend, you have to die with them.
>>3072439the varying reactions in the background
they seduce us ruthlessly, what's a human to do?
>>3070747>C'mon Bill! >Race war! >You can be Captain! >I'm gonna be Sergeant!
>>3072537Nicest horse colour
>>3072537Try not to become a degenerate as hard as he can.
>>3072537a moment later she got turned into a mutant like this poor fella
>>3071142>>3071144>>3070838horses with bright eyes look possessed
>>3072721>look possessed>he doesn't know about the brutal neigh spirithttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Fby-7z_JpE
Horse manes are beautiful!
>>3072663Horse mutants are no joke.
>I want to cover you in oats and then neigh all over youHow do you respond?
How do you prevent something like this?
>>3073493What a macho event.
>>3073493I hate bullfighting it's just so stupid.
>>3073485Bond with the horse with your mammalian chord.
>>3073485Did a horse just thought she was very hostile so decided to crush her even with the risk of breaking its back?
>>3073481sounds messy but pic related
>>3073485Horse suicide, very sad.Apparently the rider is a total jackass and maybe even sitting wrong on it with her obese weight and you can see the horse wiggling around but she doesn't do anything so the horse goes for the last resort and does it like a battleship. collision course but in this horse case, a backflip to take out the enemy for the greater good.
>>3073757Battleships don't backflip, Mister President
>>3073770I know, got a bit unlucky with the wording. Horses make me post too fast.Meant in the horse case it's not a collision course like with battle ships, what they just do is a deadly backflip.
>>3073521>praise the sun (and its photosynthesis enabling powers)
>>3072853Dapple greys are the best
Qt3.14 OTTB I used to groom
>>3072597>>3073966*dapples on u*
Sometimes it's not easy to reach the hay and then it tastes wrong
>>3073970Looks like a well behaved creature
>>3073813>Horses make me post too fastSame. Why is that? They make my mind race. Or do you mean that there's a horse in your room intimidating you to post faster or they'll harm you in some way?
dream: something like planet fitness' 'no judgement zone', only instead of pizza and alarms you can just walk in at the weekend and say 'hello, i would like to sit on a horse and go places with it for a while. here is some money. we agree that no attention shall be paid to the fact that i am a thirty-two year old male for the duration of this recreational activity'
>>3074260What is this no judgement zone?
>>3074290He is a necropedozoophile and is on the run from authorities.
>>3074290planet fitness is an american gym franchise. their whole 'thing' is that the place is a 'no judgement zone', so people feel welcome to exercise whatever their level of fitness, it doesnt turn into a 'lets inject steroids into our buttocks in the showers bro' place, etc. in practice, it means that they sound a literal alarm if someone drops weights or makes a HRRNGH noise too loud, and they have free pizza days. so imo thats like good intentions, but kind of iffy execution.anyway it would be cool for someone who isnt an eight-year-old girl to just show up, sit on a horse, ride it around for a while, then go home. it sounds kind of silly when i say it like that lol>>3074293this is also a non-kink-shaming zone, thank you
>>3074295>it means that they sound a literal alarm if someone drops weights or makes a HRRNGH noise too loud, and they have free pizza daysSounds funny, but I am not really why there is a need for this. But I guess marketing people know better than what would get popular.
>>3074299it takes a lot of mental energy to take that first step, compared to staying in your rut being unhappy because it's easier. i suppose the point is that you try and make a welcoming place for people who need confidence to make that first step, instead of a place where you're surrounded by people who are already in great shape.
>>3074260This is a good idea. I haven't ridden in years, mostly because it's literally all young and underage women at riding stables. I went once, and got treated like an alien by some people and like a shady creep by others. Fucking hell, I just want to brush a horse and ride around for a bit.
>>3074295Pizza seems to be a little bit extreme
>>3074332everybody likes pizza, i guess. and in a sideways kind of way, it sort of makes sense to have a comfort food available at a place where you're trying to make people feel comfortable? like i said, kind of iffy in execution but the heart is in the right place at least.
>>3074258Is it legal for a human to marry a horse?...
>>3074295planet fitness sucks
>>3074258Enthusiasm, bro. They're really a fun topic to talk about.
>>3074343You can spiritually marry whatever you want. Legally? No. You couldn't even legally marry some other humans until pretty recently.>>3074344Checked, but I think it's just okay.
>>3074343There are probably places on earth that will allow that.
do you guys know of a good farm raising APHA horses? I want one. Preferably in TX or the Southwest.
>>3074359>Legally? No.wasn't there some dude who married a horse? I think I remember seeing some news clip about it on yt some years ago
What's the point of marrying a horse anyway?
>>3074484this, you'll just end up having a divorce and having to cough up literal tons of oats each month
>>3074486>tfw can't afford a bridal for my new horse gf because I have to pay foal support this week.
>>3074343Considering there are places that will let you marry anime characters and inanimate objects, ya there's bound to be places that let you marry an animal. Be careful where you consummate the marriage though.
>>3074484This, why the fuck would you do this in the first place
>>3074723If you're a zoophile, extreme dedication to your horse gf and not giving a single fuck about who knows.It's not a good plan, but it's pretty based to be honest.
>>3074308Just work on a station for a season. All the horse action you could want and no princess themed birthday parties. Although my birthday is coming up and I do have a nice tiara...
>>3074343There was that guy on TV that married a horse. Weird thing was it was a sort of scruffy beat up thing. I mean if you can legally own your wife why not go for a 10/10 ultimare?
>>3074363There's some good ones in the wild here but it'd take some doing to deliver one.
>>3074484Tax breaks and legally could get her into the cinema/restaurants with you.
>>3074730>going for the 10/10 thot that lies non stop and leaves you when times get tough instead of the wholesome 6/10 gril that stays by your side no matter what
>>3074257He was adorable, used to nuzzle my hip bones when I would groom and tack him. Based buddy
>>3074735Don't forget that if someone posts a picture of your horsewife online you get to completely unironically reply "Please stop posting pictures of my wife"
>>3074790got a problem with that big boi?
>>3074774Somehow I think Dreamworks animators knew exactly what they were doing
>>3074809Damn rain was a thot
>>3074774>those trailing ropesJust made me nervous. The head can pop off if they step on it.
>>3074728I work 40 hours a week every week. My weekends are mostly handling house and family things. I ain't got time for it. I can, at most, dedicate a couple of days a month.
>>3074730Because that's the horse he loved.
>>3074809Is it a good cartoon?
>>3074868Watched it like a decade ago with my then GF and really liked it.Since it was a nice time I can't tell if I'm being objective here but yeah. Guess you can't go wrong with watching it just to have something comfy to watch.
>>3074841no, that was elephants
>>3074860Could volunteer at a riding place. Really depends on your location desu. I'm 5 hours from the coast of qld so there are horses.
>>3074723>dat pic Aww yiss
ok so second idea: what if uber, but for horses. you pres butan on hayber and a horse shows up at your door, so you can ride it around places.
horse with a side hustle for when they're not being used at Princess Parties for eight-year-olds.
>>3075041everyone has a smartphone these days
science fiction circa 1850: what if horses earned more than people didhorse, nudging its smartphone in 2019 as another two-leg pings for a ride: (laughs in horse)
>>3069391>Normal artist usually think they look like human dicks with foreskin and all.I have seen thousands of illustrated horsecocks and I've never once seen this.
I desesperatly need to pet a horse
>>3075156Go do it then. Your hand will smell like horse for a while after though. I like the smell.
>>3075109how does horse know what comfies is
>>3075350They are not some mindless robots, anon, they are living creatures with emotions, etc.
>>3075401i'd say it's more that they're social animals with long memories, and thus clever enough to use past knowledge to inform future choices'what the fuck is that big weird-smelling thing and why are you trying to put it on me' -> 'when it's cold outside, the big thing makes me comfortable'
like here's that video where the horse is like like HEY I REMEMBER YOU YEAAHH when he sees the lady who clicker-trained him seven years previous. and while she's doing the talking head part at the start he's all excited and COME ON LET'S GO>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOgtI23xqXE
also this is the same lady, only this is filmed from a different horse's POV.>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbmV6SnadjI
>>3071144holding back a smile kek
*blocks your recording*
sleeping with open eyeshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9iHetP9AUw
>Fuck this, they're all assholes
>>3076010Cool horse colour
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>3075458I'm not really sure these are necessary. I've seen horses in -50 Celsius without any of those and they seem to be fine. Maybe stables really fuck up their thermo regulation mechanisms though and they need these.
>>3076155pretty sure those are used for competition horses so their muscles don't cool down too much between races.especially the pyjama onesies.
>>3075999https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpOMYeM_f4sMashing colt face.
>>3076155i dunno man. given the choice between being naked in the cold and rain, or having the option of a warm all-over coat, i know what i'd go for. even though i'm not going to, like, freeze to death or anything.
>>3076263Jesus christ how horrifying
>>3076263>horse is sitting there minding own business>WOWOWOWOW you're pretty SPUNKY>grabs horses face and shoves it up and down >wowowoWOW calm DOWN SPUNKY BOY WOOOAHHHpls
>>3076263kinda getting bad vibes from that.it's like someone is doing something funny, everyone laughs but he just keeps going and going and everyone is kinda trying to keep a smile going while the eyes say "when will he finally fucking stop".at some point his overly high pitched "U CYOOOOOOT" *then proceeds to manhandle it with his wrinkled hands* kinda gets a bit concerning.>mfw it's almost 7 fucking minutes
>>3076403not yet but I don't want to know what kinda punishment he has in store for anyone or anything that pisses him off while he keeps smiling widely and doing that voice
>>3076155Depends on the breed. Honestly -50C seems pretty cold for most breeds, even with a winter coat. Most breeds are fine at -30C though provided they've grown a winter coat and they have a place to escape the wind and snow.
>you again>the FUCK you want
>>3076293Yeah but it may interfere with winter coat growing, need an academic source on that though.
>needs attention>bigger than you>can bite hard>or kick your spine out of your body like some mortal kombat shitHow can you trust these animals, they seem so... moody?
>>3076508horses bond and communicate over autism.if you have the right sort of autism, you have a 100% connection to them.
>>3076434That was a special breed, you are right.
>>3076530they're so fat
>>3076532>they're so rubenesque FTFY
>>3076502If you jacket your horse all the time in winter, you need to always do it since their coat will grow in short.If you only jacket when it's exceptionally cold then there's no problem.
>>3076508Getting something that dangerous to be your buddy is pretty rewarding. You can get away with a lot if they like you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VENv6UiYHHk
How many horse generals work with horses?
My gf tries to teach me how to ride and it goes kinda good, Fell off (more like flew the fuck off) and ate dirt today for the first time today, Am i a part of the cool club now? Also im beginning to understand why some people love this sport, Shits actually fun.
>>3076744Yeah, falling off happens. It's not about how many times you get on the horse it's how many times you get the horse off.
>>3076155>Maybe stables really fuck up their thermo regulation mechanismsBeyond many breeds coming from extremely warm areas, stabling a horse, excessive grooming, and diet restriction all contribute to horses not developing adequate defences for the cold.And even when they aren't kept inside and stuff, horses in cold climates tend to die younger because of the cold, past a certain age they just can't deal with it, even if they are a cold adapted breed.
>>3076508There is a horselet variation if you need less intimidating look
>>3071800By not running away from you or attacking you
>>3074730You don't legally own a wife. What shithole are you from?
>>3076528>oh mare ass>tell me your secrets>BRAP
>>3076742The horselet bullying need to stop
>>3076742the brown horse is laughing her ass off
>>3076401It seems like it likes this "manhandling".
the horse is fine. here's a timestamp:>https://youtu.be/lpOMYeM_f4s?t=221>sudden movement! haha>colt is like 'what the fuck- oh ok' and wanders back to say hello againhorseplay is a thing. its an accurate name. because thats how horses play.
>>3077032sure, but that doesn't change the fact that the guy comes across a bit strange
>>3076263>Saw a couple of baby horses while driving in Texas>TexasLucky the owner didn’t see him doing that.
>>3077262Someone caught me biting their horse. They didn't do shit.
>>3071800By taking you on adventures and teaching you the magic of friendship
>>3076010The horse looks like it's in a wet suit
>>3077354This horse is in a wet suit
What's your favourite horse noise?
>>3077349The last time a horse asked me to go on an "adventure" with it I awoke 4 days later in a different state and 700 bucks poorer since I had apparently spent it all on oats and alcohol. NEVER trust horse adventures.
>>3077399fart and snoreAnyone got full res?
>>3076854Did your wife's son help you post that?
post your favorite equine brappers
>>3077581personally I'm more into necks
>>3077734They are scary when they do this with their mouth
>>3078344I love it when they do it.
Anyone got some horses in costumes? I'd like to see witch horses
>>3077390Who knew horses could be kinky.
>>3070838Just like me, blue eyes but in a retarded face.
>>3077390That sunlight makes this so perfect.
>mmh yes, very good
>>3079269Do you have a colour version?
>>3079302>colourits color you sperg
>>3079372its ACTUALLY couleur, pig
>>3079302sadly, no.for some reason, the yt channel owner uploads his shit almost always in b/w.I guess he thinks he's really cool and artsy fartsy but in reality his footage is so average that bw just makes it worse.if you don't use colors in 2019 you need stunning motives, really interesting settings, something that tells a story and not just doing what everyone else does just with all colors stripped away. on top of it his shit lacks contrast and is a total eye sore. funnily, sometimes in some videos he breaks his own rules and fades in color for some seconds to show the colors of the horses only to switch shit off again couple seconds later.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqJMEF2jdKOsg2GgsTseECw/videos
>>3079431looks more like a goat
>the time has finally come>a whole arena full of people>you lead your stallion through the gates>jury and everyone in the hall already have their eyes on you and your horse>you two enter the arena and suddenly he breaks loose>you run behind him like a flailing retard>waving arena personnel catch him before you>you take the lead again>you arrive in front of the jury to judge>first thing he does is lifting his tail and unloading an unholy amount of horse crap right in front of them>fucking drops his dick>lights a cigarette >serious faces and busy pen movements
>tfw no mare gf
>>3079552>tfw no horsecock futa gf
>>3079717naw, just building an extension. and it appears to be a Boomer, so its going to be part-diy, part-'lowball the guy in the parking lot at Lowe's', and all 'what do you MEAN i need a permit it's MY horse bah gawd!!!!'
>>3079552I don't think horse gf is a good idea
Why do people feel the need to make horses do absolutely RETARDED shit?Why can't they just adore their looks the way they are and even do work with them but why doing this incredibly idiotic bullshit at all? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCMYMthSv_k
>>3079863fame at shows I guess.
>>3079437god i wish a stallion would bully me
>>3080266>riding on a pale horse
Anyone has that gif where a horse scratches on a fence and bends it?
>>3081099Take your pick
>>3081652This one is of the best colour too, very nice.
>>3081684just for you, Dappleanon
>>3071887Don't they rub it on trees n shiet like deer do?
>>3074486You inherit her wealth after she dies
>>3074725Sounds like an open invitation for vandals to poison his horse out of spite desu
>>3075038Better ides: what if tinder, but for horses?
>>3076515>horses bond and communicate over autism.>if you have the right sort of autism, you have a 100% connection to them.Do horses enjoy discussing Eva and obscure retro console RPGs?
>>3082451the horse is pretty, too
>>3081947Wouldn't work, horses are bad with smartphone handling
>>3082451Why are horses naturally so lewd? It's not like other animals where they're naked but you never think about it like that. Horses are constantly indecent, walking around flagging their bits around.
>>3082523They are not? You are just paying attention to them because of the shapes.
>>3082523what if you're actually wrong, and looking at animals and getting horny isn't normal. what then
>>3082904>WrongThere are no "wrong" thoughts or feelings.>normalNormality is not a real, objective thing. It's just an adherence to "popular" opinion. Most humans follow this behavior of sticking to the herd, to their own detriment. "Normal" people are highly impressionable, and are easily manipulated if you control what they see and hear. Critical people balance new input against old, to determine if that they're experiencing is correct. Normal people have a short critical memory, and are quickly set into confirmation bias. Critical people are aware of how others may attempt to manipulate them; they harden their senses against common tactics.I feel your post is trying to push me into a mindset by instilling a feeling of shame. That won't work. I know my feelings are harmless, and true. All animals are sexual creatures. That aspect is baked into our biology. Being able to empathize with another species' sexual aspects simply means I'm more open to the natural beauty of things than you are. It doesn't matter that I'm human and they're not. I can still understand their sexual fitness on a deep level. We're all woven from the same thread, using the same patterns, in only subtly different orders. Our differences are minor, and our beautiful elegance of design shared. I could never feel shame for appreciating life to the fullest degree.
>>3083009>There are no "wrong" thoughts or feelings.Thoughts or feelings that make you desire something illegal are good? Yeah makes sense>I know my feelings are harmless, and trueLol. Confess these feelings to people in the real world and you will have negative consequences. So they are not harmless.I understand what you mean with the sexual elegance and design. Just don't pretend you are special or virtuous for thinking that way.
>>3082597i recall some eye tracking studies that showed people inspect animals the same as a person
>>3083009lol no fuck off weirdo
>>3082523It's literally all your dirty mind
>>3083111humans are just mammals too
>>3082451That's shapely, not thicc
>>3080353why would you enjoy a rude horse
>>3082461Nothing that clicker training couldn't fix
it has been baked: >>3083190
>>3083081>>3083117>>3083175See: >>3083111 (checked btw)You dumbasses are just sexually repressed.
Do they capable of realizing you are inspecting their shapes?
>>3083452Yes and they'll hold it against you.
>>3083587But why against?
>>3083605You misread. "They'll hold it against you".In this context, "it" is their shapes. If you admire a horse too much, they'll smother you with their body. It might be exhilarating at first, but people have died that way since horses are incapable of restraining themselves.
>>3069432horses are massive rapists who attract female children with their cuteness and adult women with their dicks>it's a horse's world now
>>3069342Ah yes, the best source of protein...
>>3081945>Mary married a little horse>but then it got poisoned because someone did not approve of their relationship
>>3084333It's fine, lions have started upping their game, so they're in big trouble now.
>>3084325>Flees from just about anythingThink again!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHkzZqB-LuE
>>3074260is this an actual thing?older men or even men at all aren't supposed to go horse riding?fuck me I really wanted to learn to ride a horse for that cowboy feeling and your telling me that instead of tobacco spitting hat and boots wearing though looking I'll look like a pedo trying to prey on some 7 year old girl who likes HORSEYS?fuck little girls, they ruin every fun activity by attracting pedos and pedo huntershow am I ever going to learn how ride a horse????
>>3084347they were just lion in wait all this timegod I could use a lioness gf
>>3084349Obviously the solution is to grab the bull by the horns and become a pedo yourself. Play the stereotype straight, everybody expects you to anyway.
>>3084360are you telling me in order to learn how to ride a horse, I'll need to ride a little girl as well?
>>3084349I'm literally a cowboy and horses don't come into it much anymore.
>>3084349>fuck little girls
On my way to bump horse gen
>>3074293So basically Kero the Wolf?