Things that you can say about your pet but not your girlfriend
>>2881485I have no gf
>>2881485Hard mode: things you can say to both without it being a compliment. “Quit leaving your hair all over the place.”
"can i boop you in the snoot?"
>>2881485I clean up their poop
Shut the fuck up, you're not starving.
I like how thick her fur is
>>2881485It's almost like she understands every word I say
>>2881485She's happy with a $10 toy and some peanut butter.
>>2881485>Things that you can say about your pet but not your girlfriendI love u
>>2881603Unfortunately this is not true for me. When my GF gets hungry just because we're a couple hours late for dinner she acts like she hasn't eaten for days.Before her I would have never imagined this from someone weighing less than 120 lbs.
She's a good little bitch
she sucks my cock
good looking pussy
Hermit crabsThere’s no reason to own any, all storebought ones have been through hell and their living requirements are autistically strict
but op what if your girlfriend is your pet?
why not both
>>2881485I only bathe her twice a month.
>>2881485She really likes sleeping in her crate
She took the knot like a champ when I had her breed with that registered champion stud dog.
>>2881485Trick question. No one on this site has a girlfriend.
>>2881492I'll be your gf, anon.
>>2882345I'll love you with all my heart
>>2881616best in thread
>>2881485I remember where she's buried.
>>2881485She loves me
>>2881485>>2881616>>2881997>>2882631This was a genious idea for a thread, bump
I like to boil her periods and eat them
He likes to get a good walk in every day to stay fit.
Just one sniff of my cunt gets him humping.
>>2881485Took a little longer than I thought, but she's finally house broken.
I didn't have to buy any more shoes after the second month of being with her.
>>2881485Sometimes, I get home from work, and when I open the fucking front door, it smears shit all over the place because she shit in front of it. I yell "Abby?! What the FUCK?!!?" And then she runs right up to me, just like every other day, but today there's SHIT smeared into the front carpet, and she runs right through it and gets it all, fucking, over me..I wish I could just get rid of her.
>>2881485I really enjoy that pussy.
I love you
>>2881485It's "your partner", shitlord
I've finally gotten her fleas under control.
>>2881485I have a pet
>suck my dick
"No dummy, over here! Hurry up the peanut butter is melting away."
Yep, the leg's broken. Son, fetch me my gun
We’ve had sex.
When she died I buried her in the woods with the others
>>2881692They have no reserves built up
>>2881485Uhh, she has no arms or legs
>>2881485>she willing and able
>>2881485I love you
I feed her once a week.
Her cloaca is quivering.
I love you.
>>2881500aww is that your or gg image