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Things that you can say about your pet but not your girlfriend
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>>2881485
I have no gf
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>>2881485
Hard mode: things you can say to both without it being a compliment.
“Quit leaving your hair all over the place.”
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>>2881485
She's 3-dimensional.
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"can i boop you in the snoot?"
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>>2881485
I clean up their poop
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Shut the fuck up, you're not starving.
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I like how thick her fur is
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>>2881485
It's almost like she understands every word I say
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>>2881485
She's happy with a $10 toy and some peanut butter.
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>>2881485
>Things that you can say about your pet but not your girlfriend
I love u
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>>2881485
She's real
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>>2881603
Unfortunately this is not true for me. When my GF gets hungry just because we're a couple hours late for dinner she acts like she hasn't eaten for days.

Before her I would have never imagined this from someone weighing less than 120 lbs.
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She's a good little bitch
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she sucks my cock
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good looking pussy
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Hermit crabs

There’s no reason to own any, all storebought ones have been through hell and their living requirements are autistically strict
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but op what if your girlfriend is your pet?
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why not both
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>>2881485
I only bathe her twice a month.
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>>2881485
She really likes sleeping in her crate
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She took the knot like a champ when I had her breed with that registered champion stud dog.
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>>2881485
Trick question. No one on this site has a girlfriend.
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>>2881997
Underated
Bump
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>>2881492
I'll be your gf, anon.
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>>2882345
I'll love you with all my heart
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>>2881616
best in thread
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>>2881485
I remember where she's buried.
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>>2881485
She loves me
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>>2881485
>>2881616
>>2881997
>>2882631
This was a genious idea for a thread, bump
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I like to boil her periods and eat them
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He likes to get a good walk in every day to stay fit.
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Just one sniff of my cunt gets him humping.
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>>2881485
Took a little longer than I thought, but she's finally house broken.
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I didn't have to buy any more shoes after the second month of being with her.
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>>2881485
Sometimes, I get home from work, and when I open the fucking front door, it smears shit all over the place because she shit in front of it. I yell "Abby?! What the FUCK?!!?" And then she runs right up to me, just like every other day, but today there's SHIT smeared into the front carpet, and she runs right through it and gets it all, fucking, over me..
I wish I could just get rid of her.
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>>2881485
I really enjoy that pussy.
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I love you
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>>2881485
Clever girl
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>>2881485
It's "your partner", shitlord
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>>2881997
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I've finally gotten her fleas under control.
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>>2881485
I have a pet
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>suck my dick
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>>2881500
ecks dee..
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"No dummy, over here! Hurry up the peanut butter is melting away."
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Yep, the leg's broken. Son, fetch me my gun
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We’ve had sex.
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When she died I buried her in the woods with the others
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>>2881692
They have no reserves built up
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>>2881485
Uhh, she has no arms or legs
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>>2881485
>she willing and able
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>>2881485
I love you
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I feed her once a week.
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Her cloaca is quivering.
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I love you.
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>>2881500
aww is that your or gg image



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