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How come some people can get gfs so easily and others can't? What's the missing link?
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>>21117564
socializing.
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>>21117573
This, and the key to socializing is not taking everything straight to the fucking heart. Brush things off, give less fucks.

Guys who can't get girlfriends are usually high-strung, critical or clingy. Less fucks. Less.
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>>21117564
Give me a setting and something obvious about her personality and I'll give u a fool proof plan (assuming she isn't with someone else)
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>>21117576
This
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Guys that get gfs: "Hmm I wonder if me and this girl are compatible?"

Guys that don't: "This one specific girl doesn't have romantic feelings for me. Guess I'm worthless!
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>>21117578
Some arthoe waiting for the bus who looks shy.
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>>21117618
Hey I like your "(whatever is artistic or unique about her)"

Wait for her to respond

I tried "(something that relates to what you just complimented about her)" but it didn't work out because "(any random reason)"

Wait for her response, extrapolate and keep the convo going, make light jokes and jokingly/light heartedly give her subtle touches to the wrists, thighs, arms, fingers, hips.

The moment the convo gets dry

"haha hey let's continue this over coffee! There's an awesome jazz bar/cafe that I think you'll like. We should go sometime.

Wait for her to awkwardly agree because she now realizes you're smooth af and just asked her on a date.

Cool let me get your number ill set something up.
If anyone disagrees and thinks this won't work kys. I can assure you it does. I banged a girl I met on public transit because I recognized her perfume and we spoke for 20-30 mins about smells.
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>>21117576
Yes, less fucks.

But before all else, you gotta love yourself. Which is a whoooole other thing on it's own.
But once you got that down, and you know you don't need anyone, you'll naturally give less fucks about who you impress.
Which is pretty hot.
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>>21117696
>But before all else, you gotta love yoursel
This is such a lie. Absolute trash advice.
Loving yourself is a great goal but in NO WAY does it pertain to getting a gf. Telling a poor soul that is damming him to isolation and virginity forever if he believes it.
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>>21117696
You gotta love yourself. Which is a Whole other thing to over come*
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>>21117573
>>21117576
Wrong and cope.
>>21117578
Cope
>>21117589
Cope and low iq
>>21117646
Hahahahahaha LOL please dont do this hahaha fucking virgin
>>21117696
Cope and cringe
>>21117703
Cringe and cope

>How come some people can get gfs so easily and others can't? What's the missing link?
An attractive face + height. Anything else is cope.
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>>21117646
>Wait for her to awkwardly agree because she now realizes you're smooth af and just asked her on a date.
Yeah it will go smooth because she realizes she could use you for free food/drinks
>Cool let me get your number ill set something up.
If anyone disagrees and thinks this won't work kys. I can assure you it does. I banged a girl I met on public transit because I recognized her perfume and we spoke for 20-30 mins about smells.
And now you're giving her $20 on her cashapp every day in order to keep contact
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy shit how did 4chan become so bluepilled?
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>>21117702
No one can love you if you don't love yourself.
Cause you'll just think lower of them for being with a loser like you.
When you don't know why they love you, cause you can't see it yourself,
It causes disillusions, mistrust, paranoia, and before you know it, their love for you is just being drained into an abyss.
It's fucking exhausting to be with someone that can't love themselves.

Also the confidence of knowing and loving who you are puts you way ahead of the game than any low self esteemed, spineless, self-doubter
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>>21117738
>No one can love you if you don't love yourself.
Cope. Personality means fuck all when you're attractive
>Cause you'll just think lower of them for being with a loser like you.
And if you're attractive, she'll understand you and accommodate you.
>It causes disillusions, mistrust, paranoia, and before you know it, their love for you is just being drained into an abyss.
It's fucking exhausting to be with someone that can't love themselves.
They probably dont like you because you're ugly.
>Also the confidence of knowing and loving who you are puts you way ahead of the game than any low self esteemed, spineless, self-doubter
LMAO MAJOR COPE
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>>21117738
I didn't love myself when I first got laid or got my first gf. Telling these anons to wait instead of act is dooming them.
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>>21117748
>>21117716


Lol I really don't think you should be on this site without your parents' permission.
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>>21117564
Some people (like you) are completely shit and genetic dead ends, others not so much. Let it sink in for a bit
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>>21117767
You're right. Me too. I'm talking about long term relationships. You know, the ones you actually give a shit about. Why put your self hating burden on them?
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>>21117770
Lol I really don't think you should be giving advice with that ugly beta face of yours.
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>>21117576
Even high strung, clingy autists get girlfriends. OP is a different species. He's a natural incel
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>>21117716
>attractive
There's those fucks you're giving again. We talked about this.
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>>21117777
Quads tell the truth. The gods have spoken.
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>>21117716
Get a load of this manlet (look down)
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>>21117696
Disclosure: only necessary for getting married, not for dating trash or getting laid.
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>>21117782
I've seen clingy girls get guys, but clingy guys getting girls generally DOES start to entail 'well they better be hot, hung or rich.'
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>>21117783
What the fuck are you even talking about you schizo? Are you really going to deny that being attractive isn't a contributing factor to getting a gf?
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>>21117716
Want a mini bagle?
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>>21117791
Cope I'm 6'1
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>>21117778
To have sex holy shit.
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>>21117798
>IMMEDIATELY this seething
Yep! That's a yikes from me, chief.
Part of being attractive isn't being a hyper-insecure bundle of nerves that flare up when someone makes a gentle, chiding comment.

Forest for the trees, my man.
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>>21117783
>>21117791
>>21117800
All me btw
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>>21117806
Nope, try again, manlet.
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>>21117646
>jokingly/light heartedly give her subtle touches to the wrists, thighs, arms, fingers, hips.
>dude just invade a total stranger's personal space bro

Are all "chads" this rapey?
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>>21117779
There, there. We gave you some attention. It's going to be ok. You do exist. You MATTER.
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>>21117805
>Yikernos! spotted the inkwell
LOL
>Part of being attractive isn't being a hyper-insecure bundle of nerves that flare up when someone makes a gentle, chiding comment
Being self aware today aren't you?
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>>21117816
>There, there. We gave you some attention. It's going to be ok. You do exist. You MATTER.
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>>21117813
Yeah Chads can get away with it but I'm pretty sure that anon has a restraining order or two by now.
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Everyone can get a girlfriend easily. Some just choose not to try.
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>>21118021
If I'm 5'2” I wouldn't go to NBA tryouts. If I'm physically unattractive and socially retarded I wouldn't try to find a gf.
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>>21117564
Some men ask women out. Some expect to magically get a girlfriend without ever doing this key step.
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>>21118032
Guys more physically unattractive than you get girlfriends easily. Why are you lying?
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>>21118042
They get girlfriends because they have money/good job. I'm not interested in being a beta provider
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>>21118032
become muggsy bogues, nigga
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>>21118048
Literally everything you said is a lie. If you want to get a girlfriend your first step is to stop believing in incel memes.
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>>21118049
I knew someone would say that.
He was an absolute fluke. Like occasionally a goober will get an insanely hawt girlfriend on merit. It's not realistic tho
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>>21118057
It's not a lie to say that women are sexually attractive to alpha males but will find a financial use for betas. It's practically axiomatic.
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>>21117576
>>21117573
Completely nonsensical normie answers. Please stop spreading bullshit.

>>21117564
>How come some people can get gfs so easily and others can't? What's the missing link?
Social media has radically changed the interactions between men and women. In the last decade the rate of sexless men has tripled. This isn't just an isolated problem, it is happening to millions of young men aged 18-30.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/number-of-men-under-30-who-havent-had-sex-in-last-year-tripled-in-past-decade

>Since 2008, however, the share of men younger than 30 reporting no sex has nearly tripled

Social media has made it extremely easy for women to simply hold out for a top tier guy. Women pretty much only care about looks. Everything else is far, far and away secondary to your looks.
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>>21118074
But it is a lie. Why are you so hellbent on lying about everything? Because accepting the truth would mean you could get a girlfriend if you actually tried? Because making an effort is scary.
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>>21118078
Women are also having less sex, stop leaving out relevant details.
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>>21118082
Bullshit. It's a harsh world where only the fittest survive. If you're genetically superior and have good social skills you can find a gf sure but otherwise you need to buy one.
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>>21118085
the 8% rise for women is within the range for historical trends in the data thus it is of no statistical significance.

there has been no other time in recent history when men's rate of sexlessness almost tripled in a single decade.
>>
The missing link for GETTING girls is physical attraction.
The missing link for KEEPING girls is social achievement (on top of remaining physically attractive, at least relative to your age).
t. attractive loner who has had many short term relationships, but zero long term
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>>21118088
Good thing 99% of males are genetically superior then. It must suck to be in the bottom 1% like you.
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>>21118092
>this one outlier for men is correct and significant
>meanwhile the number for women has risen a lot but it's not significant
Yep, it's an incel seeing what he wants to see.
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>>21117576
Bro I'm a fucking introverting idiot and I have a good looking gf. I am blessed. I don't know what she sees in me
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>>21118102
it's not significant because until this decade the rate for both men and women rose - and read the following very carefully - fell at about the same rate 10%~

it is not significant because for women it has been doing exactly that for a very long time, rising and dropping almost that exact amount over and over again.

only men's has risen massively above the norm. that is why the number for men IS statistically significant.
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>>21117564
Why do you care?
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>>21118100
Awww always resort to insults when your widdle pollyanna myths are crushed
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Get money, fuck bitches.
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>>21118088
>If you're genetically superior and have good social skills you can find a gf sure
Long and the short of it. I'm a very short male (5'5), but I've had several serious girlfriends due to a great jaw, voice, and better hair.
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>>21118123
BECAUSE I WANT A GF YOU FUCKING CUNT
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From what I’ve seen, most guys I know who are chronically single make the following mistakes
>focusing too much on one girl
>not constantly putting themselves in positions to meet new people
>poor charisma or bad at reading social cues
>some identifiable, offputting characteristic. It can be controllingness, entitlement, lack of respect, laziness, awkwardness, anger, etc.

Honestly that’s mostly it. In my opinion things like money, looks, and assets can help you upgrade what type of partner you get but someone who is rejected by EVERYONE pretty consistently must have a visible red flag or must not be meeting new people ever.
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>>21118156
Why?
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>>21118163
see >>21118078

just world fallacy is just that, a fallacy. no matter how nicely you try to wrap it up.
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>>21118201
My perspective is that of a girl that has never used dating apps.

I am having a hard time understanding though. Not sure how that post addresses what I said.

We’re talking about getting a girlfriend, not just having sex, right? I agree that if you’re trying to date only through tinder then you probably won’t have much luck if you aren’t a super attractive guy. BUT I can tell you as a woman with many female friends, their criteria while they are swiping and their criteria IRL are very different. I have friends who would only “swipe right” for 10/10 guys on the app but would actively flirt with a 6/10 that they met during an outing.

I just think you should play to your strengths. Tinder helps men who are really good looking, but you also are attracting more shallow women in general. If you’re looking for a hookup that’s great- but for a girlfriend? Not as much in my opinion.
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>>21118226
1. If a guy isn't having sex then it is extremely unlikely that he has a girlfriend, unless there is a new wave of sexless relationships out there that researchers aren't aware of.

2. Dating apps, regardless if they're only for hookups or not, have had a wide ranging effect on the dating scene. It doesn't matter if a guy only tries to meet women IRL and pretends dating apps don't exist. The reality is that they do exist and they have impacted the dating scene. It is not a coincidence that the rate of sexless (aka girlfriend-less) men tripled at the exact time that social media/dating apps became common place.

3. I was pointing you to that article to show you that this is a wide ranging problem, and when dealing with figures this big it is almost -never- something that could be attributed to an individual level. Men didn't just suddenly start becoming more controlling/entitled/less respectful/more lazy/more awkward/more angry. This is a systematic problem stemming from systemic societal issues and structures.
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>>21118252
Umm or maybe guys have just been empowered to be incel rapist creepers due to the pervasive nature of rape culture?

Have sex, freak.
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>>21118252
Just be attractive and shut up man.
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>>21118252
Ah I see. Would you mind linking me to the direct link to that data set? I searched the website that that article linked to but am unable to locate the actual raw data. (Not trying to be rude I am just interested to see it).
Also, and again not trying to be rude, although I agree that it’s likely that social media influenced that trend, you cannot conclusively make that assertion unless the research that was done specifically found causation. Correlation is totally irrelevant. Part of the reason i’d Like to see the raw data or research report is to see whether or not there has been proven causation between the two variables statistically.

Although I agree with you personally that it’s not a coincidence and that dating apps probably influenced it, I think there’s a lot more at play here.

And even so, just because they’ve changed the scene in general doesn’t mean that they’ve changed it without exception. Like I said, I’ve never used one and there are a lot of girls who have never used them. Especially women who don’t like random hookups or who have more conservative values- dating app use is more uncommon.

And although I agree to a degree that it is a “problem” in ways, I think that women becoming more empowered, independent, and confident also has something to do with it. Men who in the past could get away with being angry or rude because women were expected to deal with it are no longer able to do so.
It’s not so much that I think men suddenly became awkward. It’s that women gained the ability to not settle for those men. In countries where women are still very much financially and socially dependent on men, even the really awkward or abusive men end up with wives or girlfriends because it’s socially expected of the woman.

I think there is a lot of vanity, immaturity, and sluttiness that has arisen from some of these new social trends, but I am thankful for the freedom to support myself.
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>>21118156
No you don't. If you did you would do something about it instead of whining.
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>>21118201
>just world fallacy
You misspelled "special snowflake syndrome".
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>>21118252
Sexlessness is due to a rise in vidya and social media and less incentives to leave home. This is why both men and women have less sex than before despite it being easier than ever to get sex.
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>>21118300
And sorry if on my second point it isn’t clear- I didn’t elaborate.
For women who don’t use dating apps, it’s a conscious decision. Most of us also dislike that the primary focus is on looks, that there is an expectation of sex, and that it’s very easy to ghost people.
I specifically reject a lot of the “new age dating culture”. Sure it’s had an effect on the way that things work- sometimes I feel out of touch bc I don’t participate in it. But all I’m saying is that if you are someone who doesn’t like aspects of it, there are others out there who share your view. You just have to look for those people.

If anything, the existence of social media culture could even make the relationship better when you find someone with similar views because you’ll both appreciate the other more.
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>>21117564
99% of it comes down to being social and attractive enough. That's it.

If you're atleast reasonably attractive physically (6/10+) and you leave your basement regularly to socialize with other human beings, you will eventually meet a girl you connect with and it'll happen naturally from there.

Incels all have atleast 1 of 2 things in common: they're all either ugly or they're socially retarded. Women are repulsed by both.
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>>21118323
>Women are repulsed by both.
Why do I find it so hot? (I'm a man)

A cute girl got on the same bus as me this morning, she was so busy looking at me she banged her head on the roof as she got in her seat, then she dropped her card as she put it back in her wallet. I considered asking her to marry me but I thought better of it.

So adorable.
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>>21118335
You mean being anti social / awkward or what?
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>>21118343
I wanted to take her home, put a blanket over her, then cuddle up to her while I gently held an ice pack on her bruised head and fed her a bowl of eggs.
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>>21118300
entire thread with charts

https://twitter.com/_cingraham/status/1111607604348805120

>you cannot conclusively make that assertion unless the research that was done specifically found causation
that's just circling the wagons. a few posts up you were confidently claiming that these men had some kind of personal failing and that is why they were failing at finding a partner of the opposite sex, now you're talking about how correlation is "totally irrelevant" and how you are only interested if the data specifically tells you that social media/datings apps are the case of this? that's very funny

>And even so, just because they’ve changed the scene in general doesn’t mean that they’ve changed it without exception
nobody is saying this. it is simply being said that it changed it enough that it has affected a large group of male population.

>Men who in the past could get away with being angry or rude because women were expected to deal with it are no longer able to do so.
1. This is entirely dependent on looks. Women care very little about those kinds of red flags if the man looks good enough.
2. This is complete and utter guessing on your part. There is absolutely zero data or even any correlation whatsoever that the men ending up sexless now are simply men who would have been abusive in some way. That sounds like your own personal psychosis/projections more than anything even remotely factual.

>I think there is a lot of vanity, immaturity, and sluttiness that has arisen from some of these new social trends, but I am thankful for the freedom to support myself.
This makes no sense. Women have been in the workforce for far longer than the time period this data covers. There isn't a single woman part of this generation who at any point was expected or forced to depend on a man to support herself. Why are you talking like we're in the 50s and women are just starting to enter the labor market?
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>>21118335
What you’re talking about is endearing clumsiness, which can be attractive regardless of gender.

Social retardation is like, misreading a situation, getting offended and screeching something rude and irrelevant while your voice breaks, backtracking and trying to explain yourself, and then deciding eventually to double down. And everyone in the group is like ???? What is this person even talking about.
It’s universally unattractive. Check out some cringe compilations on YouTube if you don’t know what I am saying.
>>
It has a lot to do with your own expectations. If you have very high standards, you'll probably miss out on a ton of girls out there who are willing to be your girlfriend. Sometimes you just have to give people chances and stop getting attached to that one girl who won't reciprocate your feelings
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>>21118355
>Why are you talking like we're in the 50s and women are just starting to enter the labor market?
because they always like to play the victim. there is no doubt in my mind that bitch truly does think that she's some kind of civil rights hero for getting a fucking job kek
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>>21118355
Take a look at what I wrote again. I used verbiage like “From what I’ve seen” and “in my opinion” and “my perspective”.

I never claimed fact. Only opinion. By citing “research” and using definitive words, you presented your argument as fact. I totally accept that it’s your opinion. But is it a fact? I’d need to see causative data.

Yes, I agree it’s affected a large part of the male population.

In response to your comment about looks, that is simply false. No well adjusted women I know would stay with an attractive man who is abusive. Looks fade. If women only cared about looks then we’d all get divorced as soon as our husbands gained weight and lost hair.

Again, like I said, this is completely and totally my opinion based on personal observation. I have said that clearly multiple times in my posts.
And it’s not the only reason, but I personally believe it’s one of them.

Another anon mentioned the notion that video games are allowing young men to isolate themselves. I can tell you as someone who has atleast 5 or 6 male friends who have essentially given up on life and only play video games, that is a contributing factor in my mind.

And to my last point, i’m Pointing out that dating apps show women that they very easily have access to other options. Women have a biological clock, so if you want to be a mother, it’s important to have a stable relationship as soon as possible. Before dating apps, if you were in an unideal relationship, you might not take the risk and leave because your chances of finding someone else before your time was up were slimmer. Now, it’s much easier to connect with people, and you can even filter things to only talk to people with similar values, etc.
Basically you don’t have to stay in a situation that you’re not happy in, and society doesn’t expect you to “deal with it”.
Plus, just socially, women are much more empowered now than they were even like 20 years ago
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>>21118378
There’s no need to be rude, and I wasn’t talking about the 50’s.

If you can’t see the differences in the level of independence that women have now compared to 20 years ago then you haven’t been paying attention. I’m not saying that women didn’t have rights or weren’t independent. I’m saying that they’re even MORE so now. It’s not a matter of jobs, it’s a matter of perception. Some might even say that women are acting more entitled now, and I wouldn’t disagree.
That’s where the rampant vanity and shallowness comes from. Our society doesn’t discourage those negative things because it’s disguised as “independence”, but it really should be called out. It’s possible to be independent without being entitled
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>>21117564
Most of the time, the exact reasons why you are rejected is because you, yourself, give all the signals that communicate that you aren't ready.

>being insecure
>believing that you aren't worth anyone's attention but you will try anyway, as if it was an exam
>not taking care of yourself as if you were worth it
>doing things not for yourself but to attract women, as if you were living bait

There are a dozen ways in which you sabotage yourself, long before any woman gets a chance to know you. Knowing you have major issues that need attention is enough is enough for functional people to look elsewhere.

On the plus side, if you ever overcome your issues, you will be much stronger and much more interesting as a result. You will have depth.

Don't give up, but tackle problems in the correct order: secure real self-esteem and real confidence before you try to secure a woman. Never pretend, never try to repress how you feel, never become a 100% pussified pansy who "acts tough" because they don't know how else to cope. Face the feels, head first, seek therapy, make sure your therapist is serious (if you feel bad with them, or if they sound retarded, immediately seek someone else).
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>>21117589
Approved.
>>
>>21118388
>I never claimed fact
Very few people claim fact. Nevertheless you saw fit to present your completely nonsensical and biased views and apply it to something that literally millions of men are going through. It's pretty obvious what you were doing. I presented hard data and used some very strong correlation to present my argument and all of a sudden you're claiming "correlation is irrelevant"? lol.

>that is simply false
Not at all. Women openly claim on social media how they'll ignore red flags if the guy is tall or looks good enough. They will even brag about going back to these men despite knowing that they're no good. Countless women also remain in abusive relationships simply because the guy is good looking.

also, your last paragraph is correct. and it only goes one way, because women are only interested in the top tier looking men. hence why the rate of sexless men has tripled in a single decade. i just think it's funny that you unintentionally twisted yourself into agreeing with me about women being extremely superficial. the blackpill/incel movement arose as a direct result of the effects of social media on the dating market. these men noticed that how shallow women are and started talking among themselves about it. that is literally how the blackpill and the entire incel community arose.
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>>21118408
Source: your incel cult teachings.
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>>21118408
I was never disagreeing with you. If you read my post you’ll see multiple times that I said “I agree”. I didn’t twist myself into anything, I reiterated what i’ve been saying.

Why do you see yourself in opposition to me? I think we have a pretty similar perspective, I just think you’re being a little too narrow in your explanation of a phenomenon that has multiple facets and explanations along with the one that you mentioned.

I don’t appreciate you calling my view biased and nonsensical. It’s based on my personal experience and observations. Of course I don’t think my opinion applies to all men, I literally just stayed my experience. You were the one using statistics and making sweeping generalizations. You presented your opinion as a fact, as a counter to my opinion, and all I said was that in order for me to accept that what you were saying was a fact and change my own opinion, correlation isn’t enough.
You were the one who came at me trying to change my opinion. I was just replying to the op, which I interpreted as asking for people’s Opinions and experience.

Please don’t be needlessly rude. We’re not even in disagreement. It’s disappointing to me that even though I’ve that I think women and dating culture are shallow in multiple posts, you have completely rejected everything I’ve said simply because I suggested that there might be other things also contributing.

You should try being a little more open minded. You’re not even trying to listen to ideas that are just outside your own echo chamber.

Lastly, I hold my opinion that you are wrong about stable women staying with abusive men. Women with daddy issues? Sure. Women with bipolar? Yeah.
But a well adjusted self respecting confident women would never.
Judging by your expressed distain for women, I imagine you haven’t surrounded yourself with many of those.
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>>21118388
>I never claimed fact
Very few people claim fact. Nevertheless you saw fit to present your completely nonsensical and biased views and apply it to something that literally millions of men are going through. It's pretty obvious what you were doing. I presented hard data and used some very strong correlation to present my argument and all of a sudden you're claiming "correlation is irrelevant"? lol.

>that is simply false
Not at all. Women openly claim on social media how they'll ignore red flags if the guy is tall or looks good enough. They will even brag about going back to these men despite knowing that they're no good. Countless women also remain in abusive relationships simply because the guy is good looking.

also, your last paragraph is correct. and it only goes one way, because women are only interested in the top tier looking men. hence why the rate of sexless men has tripled in a single decade. i just think it's funny that you twisted yourself into agreeing with me about women being extremely superficial.
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>>21118435
i see i apologize then i've been following multiple threads and doing coke so i think i got you mixed up to someone else i was replying to. it's good that you agree about the shallowness of women and modern dating.

however, it IS biased and nonsensical to apply things you've seen in your circle of friends to something that's as big as this. it just doesn't hold any ground whatsoever. i was making generalizations based on very strong observations based on data and the incel community.

and as to changing your opinion, you were already holding some convictions about the state of these sexless men based on extremely anecdotal and flimsy observations from your personal life, but somehow the impact of social media and dating apps on the dating market being one of the big reasons for the massive rise in the rate of sexless men is a step too far from you..? despite the fact that the entire incel movement arose due to this? hmm it's just weird, that's all i'm saying.

>Women with daddy issues?
>Women with bipolar?
i mean that's like half of the female population right there..

anyways are you even american? and how old are you? it would be kind of silly and pointless if i'm replying to a 40 year old woman on the other side of the planet or something
>>
>>21118468
>i've been following multiple threads and doing coke
What a fucking shock lmao
>>
>>21118468
Okay, I see what you’re saying. You were saying that it’s better to look at widespread data and use that to form an opinion rather than to reference only personal observations.
And I agree. And admit that my opinion on this matter isn’t very strong- I recognize that there are strong limitations to using only personal experience to form an opinion. I thought that OP was asking for our personal experiences so that he could collectively use it to gain some wide-spread understanding of his circumstance, which is why I only offered my experience rather than a more generalized opinion. It wasn’t my intention to present biased or nonsensical information as a widespread truth, only as my personal experience.

I was interested to see the data set, and I certainly agree that the trend is related at least in part to the effects of dating apps on society. Thank you for helping me develop my opinion. I was a little reluctant to completely agree with you at first because it seemed like you weren’t willing to explore the idea that there might be other ideas at play aside from the effect that dating sites and social media have had.

I think you really might be surrounding yourself with bottom tier women. And I know that sounds absolutely arrogant of me, but from my perspective there is a clear divide between people that conduct themselves with self-respect and people that do not. If you find yourself disgusted by much of what you’re seeing, you might be looking only at the bottom rung.
On the flip side, many feminists who hate men have such strong convictions because they base their opinions on the worst 5% of men while ignoring the other 95% who for the most part are usually very respectful and kind.

I do agree that there are a lot of trash women out there, but half? I hope not :(

And i’m 23 and I live in the US.
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>>21118510
i think maybe social media is warping all of ours views. social media is so big and widely used so it is an easy way to get a look at the opposite but maybe too easy if you know what i mean

>>21118497
hey man drugs are a pretty good cope if you're incel don't know it till you try it
>>
>>21118534
I think so too.
Plus, even though the internet opens us up to so many thoughts and perspectives different from our own, it’s somehow easier than ever to fall victim to confirmation bias.

It is a very interesting time to be on this planet. I can’t wait to see where things go.
>>
If girls sense that you're a caring sort of guy you'll get one who wants to fuck you for it sooner or later, but you have to go where the girls can actually notice you and it's going to take a longer time if you look and/or act like an awkward retard.
>>
Nofap, join it.
>>
>>21117646
eye contact and smiling should substitute the touching. if she’s giving you signals she’ll be touching you. gotta keep an eye on body language
>>
>>21117716
This guy know's whats up. Anything else is just false consciousness.
>>
Basically there's several things to blame for the current climate:
>Jews
>Sexual revolution
>Jews
>Third wave feminism
>Jews
>Nanny state
>Jews
>Social media
>Jews
>Body positivity
>>
>>21118163
>not constantly putting themselves in positions to meet new people
how and where
don't give me the dancing lessons meme
>>
>>21118669
>you have to go where the girls can actually notice you
Where is that?
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>>21118669
>If girls sense that you're a caring sort of guy you'll get one who wants to fuck you for it sooner or later,
I can't believe you're suckering in people with this. Sure it might work if you look chad or have a lot of money but caring sort of guy alone won't get the girl.
>>
>>21119095
There are events happening locally at most places in the US unless you literally live on a large farm. If you look online you can find open mics, movie screenings, fairs, exhibits, runs, etc that are free to the public.
Aside from that, just making conscious decisions to be in public spaces. Instead of doing your homework in your room, do it in a library or coffee shop. If your friends want to go to a movie, don’t say no just because you’re feeling tired/lazy or the movie doesn’t look that interesting. If there’s a big party that you get invited to and you feel socially anxious, push yourself to go anyways. Even if you start in your comfort zone. Go to a video game cafe or an anime convention, join in with the local magic tournament that they have on tuesdays, etc.
you can literally go for a walk or take your dog to the park and meet new people. You have to expose yourself to them is all.
I live in a small rural town in the south but even here there are lots of things to do.

The biggest advantage you could be using to put yourself out there and meet new people is dating apps since you can reach many many more people, but as another anon said, these have limitations depending on your looks. I personally have guy friends who are like 6/10 who have still had luck but if you are below average it’s less fruitful
>>
>>21118109
You're probably attractive
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>>21119052
you forgot jews
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>>21117564
OP I dont get it either, I can be talking to a girl and she can act oh so interested in me, fast forward a few days or a week, she ignores me or has moved on to a new guy. I DONT FUCKING GET IT, WHY WONT THEY GIVE ME A CHANCE IF THEY FIND ATTRACTIVE AND WANTS TO CHAT WITH ME?!?!?!
>>
>>21119470
It sounds like the more they talk to you the less interested they are. You probably look attractive but don’t have the personality or assets they’re looking for.
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>>21119472
Bro how the fuck can you keep anything interesting over messenger/snapchat over an extended period of time? If she cant meet up within the first few days, she usually moves on to someone else and I hate it.
I always gets my hopes up like some fool, and then gets crushed once I get ghosted/denied
>>
>>21119514
Not to be rude but literally tons of people do it. I’ve been in a LDR for years and most of our communication is over messenger.

I think i’ve seen the most success with people asking questions back and forth as kind of a game. Like, one person poses a question (“would you rather live by the beach or in the mountains”) and then the other answers. If either person has a shred of personality it usually turns into a more developed conversation as the game progresses. (Like, maybe i’ll Say I prefer beaches because my grandmother used to take me there when I was little, and then they’d ask about my relationship with my grandma, and i’d Elaborate, and then they’d relate to me by sharing experiences with their own relatives.)

Idk, it’s a way to get to know someone else, it feels like a game so it’s fun, and it is much more interesting than the standard “wyd?” Or “hey”
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>>21119539
Yeah but that is so much easier irl, because then you are there with her, talking and chilling. However over messenger or snap, there are plenty of other guys trying to get her attention. Guys that are probably more attractive than me, and so I end up getting ghosted once someone comes along better than me.
It is truly a mog or be mogged world out there, only once you have met the girl and the chemistry had been noticable, you can trust her.
>>
>>21117646
>I banged a girl I met on public transit because I recognized her perfume and we spoke for 20-30 mins about smells.
You dog!
>>
>>21119585
Yes, that is true. You should never “trust” or fall into a deeper level of liking someone until you have built actual trust.

And it’s like that on both sides, women actually face a similar issue getting ghosted by men (especially after hooking up).

I’m not sure man. I stay off of dating sites because I hate how disposable they make people seem. I will say though, don’t discredit personality. It’s really not all looks. Most of the attractive chads are used to not putting in a lot of effort with convo because their looks carry them. A good convo can go a long way with a woman, even over message.
>>
>>21119651
Yeah irl a good convo is easy, its easy to charm irl. However it just doesnt carry the same punch over snap or messenger, its just not as easy. Like how you can talk for ages about practiacally nothing with your mates, yet you only write to them in order to meet up? Its so much easier to be interesting, charming, funny, attractive, and have a convo irl as opposed to messenger/snapchat
>>
>>21119700
I agree, but developing charm over messenger is a skill and it certainly is possible. Plenty of people chat and catch up with friends over text.

It’s different than being social regularly but like any skill it’s something you can work at and develop if you see fit. If you’re going to rely mostly on online dating, then maybe it’s something you should deliberately try to improve at even though it’s tougher than IRL
>>
>>21117564


Is this fine to send to a girl as a date idea?

Since we are both lacking some adventures I have been thinking that we should spice things up by hijacking a tour group from the NGV and leading them around pretending to be an art aficionados. Would you like to join me?


NGV is National Gallery of Victoria
>>
if you ask something as simple as this, maybe you're not ready. at all.
>>
>>21119707
Bro how can I improve my texting charms? Its just difficult to understand where I am in her head. Like she could be sending me hearts and shit, tell me im wonderful and attractive, yet ghost me the day after. How do I learn to keep the attraction?
>>
>>21119736
Mate you've been posting that question for a solid week. Even if it was a good idea at the time, the moment has almost certainly passed by now. You wasted all your time strategising about the perfect line that would optimally convey the exact mix of daringness and spontaneity you think will impress her like the fake little bitch you are. You should have just invited her out to coffee/drinks quickly. Making your intentions known quickly and clearly is more important than pretty much anything else. Just look at the rest of the incel motherfuckers in this thread. Unwilling to risk anything by actually asking, they instead just assume that no woman is interested. The coward dies a thousand deaths.
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I just want a gf, lads.

I'm close to breaking.
>>
I know I need to socialize to get a gf, marry and have kids, but I get about as much pleasure from socializing as I do from doing laundry. That is to say, not much. At least I don't have to plan a whole day around doing laundry. The machines are in the same building and are instantly available 24/7. I can break up the workload however I please if I just need to quickly wash a couple things for tomorrow. I can't treat people and socializing like I do clothes and doing laundry. But do I just force myself to do it?
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>>21117646
The advice sounds bad to people who are nervous to talk to women. That's why there's so many negative comments. Most of the people reading this thread think they can win over waifus by acting like anime white knights.

To those talking shit, have you tried behaving like u don't analyze every move with women? It's not rapey if you don't act like a rapist. It's not weird if the dialogue comes natural.

If you don't have a gf, then you will never until you break your perception of women being this complicated advanced species.
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>>21121958
>It's not rapey if you don't act like a rapist. It's not weird if the dialogue comes natural.
All that has to do with how attractive you are.
>>
>>21122015
I'm 5'6" and fat. I used to lurk this board all the time, became super skinny and fit, and was still single. Then I just stopped giving a shit and behaved like jersey shore douche bags. I just took what I wanted.

Story for those interested : in college I made the conscious decision that I wanted to go out with the hottest Asian girl out of all my classes. When I first made the decision I was in the opposite side of the class, next day I sat beside her. I broke the ice by asking her for a pencil and bullshitting that I didn't understand the prof and got her to explain a simple finance equation. From that it went to "I'm waiting for a friend, so I'll walk you to your bus stop", "I'm waiting for a friend let's get coffee/ dinner", to " let's go grab dinner, oh and I never was waiting for a friend I just needed excuses to hang out with you" , to sex. 1 week to start dating, one month to start banging

From that point forward I had no issues. Just man up anons.
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>>21117716
>"Don't do this hahaha fucking virgin"
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>>21122057
You want to know how I know you're full of shit?
>I'm 5'6"
That's why. End of discussion.
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>>21122065
>If you get a restraining order then it means she likes you
>>
>>21122084
>"Man all these girls seem to be avoiding me, it's definitely not because I haven't showered, it's because I'm naturally fat and out of shape"
>>
>>21122099
>haha just take a shower bro! i know a balding 5'2 indian janitor who took a shower and now has a hot 21 year old gf haha :)
>>
>>21122116
It's a start you homunculus, things take effort sometimes, get used to it butterball.
>>
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>>21122121
>things take effort sometimes
>It's an effort for him to take a shower
Get a load of this neckbead LOL
>>
>>21122147
Well I mean the entire improving yourself but it probably is for this unmotivated pile of shit
>>
>Neckbeard fingers, that have never touched a shower knob, wrote this post
-> >>21122149
>>
>>21119052
I think it's the jews bruh
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>>21122171
I shower daily, I can't stand feeling like 1/3 of that shit
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>>21122184
>I shower daily now women flock over me
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>>21122198
The fact that you're focusing on just the showering part of what I said is showing that clearly you haven't done so since you had P.E. in middle school
>>
>>21122199
>The fact that you're focusing on just the showering part of what I said is showing that clearly you haven't done so
>His only advice is to shower
>"I shower daily I can't stand feeling like 1/3"

What did he mean by this?
>>
>>21122057
>just lie
So being myself was the problem all along.
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>>21118352
I got you senpai
>>
>What's the missing link?

Confidence
>>
Guys who get gfs don't look at every girl they're interested in as a potential gf. They're in control of their emotions, focused primarily on their own lives, and open to all outcomes in every relationship they decide to pursue. Learn the difference between infatuation and love. Don't emotionally teather yourself to someone who doesn't know you exist or won't be there for you when you need them.
>>
>>21117716
>Ultimate cope: the post
>>
>>21118032
If Stephen Hawking could get girls, you can too.
>>
Amount of trial and error
>>
>>21117564
Taking risks at talking with women. Look it's not that daunting you just talk to a few of them, and if it works out great, but if not it's not the end of the world.
>>
>>21124325
>just talk to them bro
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>>21124898
Yes, you have to actually communicate with people if you want relationships in your life.
>>
>>21117564
The difference between a guy who can get a gf and a guy who doesn't, in 90% of cases, comes down to whether or not they're actively looking for one.
Statistically, if an average guy asks out so many girls, there'll be one who will fancy him back and be his gf.

But honestly, you should be looking for a wife instead of a gf. Don't waste your time with inconstant flings that are sinful by nature.
>>
The passive strategy, self-improvement in looks (easiest, just lift and eat right, groom well), personality (still pretty easy at least for me), and career (the hardest since I'm pursuing what's more of a long term dream) to become more attractive, isn't really working.
But for the more active strategy, putting myself out there to a greater degree and looking for new people, I really have no clue starting from almost ground zero in terms of social life and having gone so long essentially as a hermit with a job. No friends in a 50 mile radius, no Facebook, no pictures of myself... I just stare at a blank page when trying to create an online profile on Facebook or Tinder or otherwise and that's the best option I can think of. I might actually try the dancing lessons meme even though I think that'll end up a disaster.
>>
>>21125334
I'm in the same position as you
took up the dancing lessons meme, at a university no less
class was an even mix between pre-existing couples, chinese FOBs, and geriatrics
plus me, the 30-year-old dude who's smashed every /sig/ goal except the one where you have a social life
if it weren't for slutty backpackers in hostels i'd still be a virgin
i think what i need to do is learn to talk to strangers charismatically
i've tried, but i'm having trouble actually doing it
like, who the fuck just 'strikes up a conversation' with a stranger in the goddamn street?
has anyone ever actually seen that happen? i sure as fuck haven't
either that or just resign myself to pon farr and only fuck when i save up enough to go traveling every 7 years
>>
Doesn’t matter “how come.” If you want it bad enough you’ll keep trying. Sick of the fucking whining. I’m celibate so don’t give me that chad detected shit
>>
>>21117646
This is decent, but it's not foolproof by any stretch of the imagination.
>>
>>21117564
rural areas
>>
fpbp
>>
>>21126356
>who the fuck just 'strikes up a conversation' with a stranger in the goddamn street?
Depends what country and city you're in. If you're some place like London where taking to strangers is strictly forbidden, then no. Where I live drunk people talk to eachother randomly in the street all the time.
>>
>>21126539
How about an australian capital city? We're plenty talkative when we're overseas, and we've got a 'reputation' for friendliness, but it doesn't seem right to talk to a stranger here. Am I just being more of an autist than usual about this? I'd love to be able to make up for my years of poor socialisation by going out and practicing talking to strangers all day. I think I just want someone to tell me it's ok to do, like it's not harassment or something
>>
Sheer amount of determination. You just brute force through every rejection until you land a lucky gamble.

I see dating as a gamble, you stand to loose a lot but not much at the same time. Being rejected by some random girl or guy is nothing in the long run. What matters is when you land a lucky score with someone you really want to be with
>>
>>21117782

This and I say this as a slighty clingy guy Who had a gf before. I’m still going out with girls too
>>
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My problem personally is that I refuse to settle while also not currently having much to offer lol. I'm working on the latter and am currently procrastinating.
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>>21119095

Just like literally anywhere, best way is to talk to people in “neutral” areas like when waiting in line or sitting somewhere. This literally how I got my first gf, she started talking to me and I got her number and boom, asked her out. Same with another girl I went to sit next and started talking, got her number. I would’ve gone farther had I not been an idiot and waited too long to take action but you get my point

It’s literally that easy, just talk to them. It’s even easier when you to something like a club or some kind place where you can have a common interest like a convention or book club
>>
>>21126603
cold approaching?
so unrealistic
>>
>>21126608

I mean if it works it works.
>>
>>21126612
it never works
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>>21126625
doesn't it? i wanted to do it because it seems like the only way i could achieve the kind of volume of practice i'll need to catch up to normies quickly
but if it's totally pointless and not even educational i won't bother
>>
>>21126625
BS. It works, it just doesn't work often. But it IS a successful strategy. Kinda like how an insect lays 1000 eggs and tons of babies die, yet enough live for the species to thrive.

Yes, I know YOU will never have the confidence to handle that much rejection for one success (since you won't even risk one rejection even if it means staying a virgin til death), but to say that it's a bad strategy because of it is wrong. You just suck lol.
>>
>>21126559
I live in melbourne anon. Strangers very very rarely talk to each other. The overseas meme is real though for aussies, maybe through a selection bias of the most outgoing being overseas, or just playing into the stereotype. Who knows.
>>
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I read the books Models by Mark Manson and The Way of the Superior Man. You can find them on libgen. I internalized them and now it's all pretty simple. It all comes down to being pleasant to be around by having fun and being confident in yourself. Do what you need to to achieve this. Stop being so needy.
>>
>>21126740
Doesnt work, stop misleading people.
>>
>>21127667
Get out of here you incel cultist.
>>
>>21117564
Some are more social, ignore the chad beta thing, it's BS.
Just be social, go to events, take care of your looks and you'll get some.
>>
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>>21127868
>>
>>21127962
It's bull, I see uggos with shit jobs fucking women left and right.
IT'S A LIE.



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