My boyfriend recently made a new friend who’s a girl. They’ve been hanging out a lot and visit each other’s houses often. They live super close to each other. They’re also going to the same school. My boyfriend and I don’t get the chance to see each other often and I’ve never been to his house even once. I’m also going to move homes so I won’t be able to see him that often for sure. People are telling me I should be careful that he might cheat. The girl also doesn’t have many friends and she might cling to him. I really trust my boyfriend but these thoughts are starting to scare me. He told me they’re just friends and I really do trust him. I’m not being naive right?
>>21116110Tell me more about how much time they spend at each other’s houses
>>21116274Lol>>21116110You either trust him or notIs he the kind of guy who would cheat?Just trust him even if the world falls apartIt isnt bad if you feel jealous of them seeing each other while you cant .Truuuuuuust. And if he cheats, then he cheats, not because you were an untrusting gf, but because cheating happensBy the way try talking to her sometimes, if you can
>>21116110>They’ve been hanging out a lot and visit each other’s houses often.Even if he's not cheating (which is unlikely), this is completely unacceptable behavior for obvious reasons. He is purposefully putting himself in a situation that will increase the temptation to cheat, which is clearly uncomfortable to you; and together the two things amount to blatant disrespect of both you and your relationship.>b-but I love himThat blind faith is exactly why guys feel emboldened to cheat. If you want to give him a chance to explain himself and stop whatever he's doing, go ahead, though I don't recommend it.But if this kind of thing happened to me, where a girl was going to a male "friend's" house repeatedly, I'd drop her on the spot.
>>21116303Have you even been in a relationship and had friends at the same time? Regularly Visiting and staying at friends houses is not unacceptable. You sound as insecure as OP.
Stop giving your vagina away to anyone who asks. Now that your current fuck buddy has used and degraded you he's moving on to fresh snatch. You gave away your only asset so try to learn from that
>>21116331No that's whore behavior, females need to be modest or they have no value
>>21116331I don’t think I would be in a relationship and have a single female friend visiting on her own a lot. I think that kind of shit is straining on the relationship. I guess it depends on the personalities. But I think most relationships are difficult to keep stable unless both people create boundaries in how they deal with friends of the opposite sex. Not doing so just temps fate for feelings developing that are not in the interests of the survival of your relationship.
This is really tricky, OP. I've not made many male friends and would then visit their houses frequently enough to think that this is purely 100% platonic on HER part. Perhaps for your BF, it is, but we don't know her and her intentions.Also, I'd wonder if this new friend has asked your boyfriend to meet the girlfriend yet? Has she made any effort to reach out to you through text or has your boyfriend made any effort to coordinate you two to meet? If she's so lonely and lacking in friends, you'd think that she'd be totally up for meeting you - and IF it were me I'd want to make sure to make it clear that I, the friend, am not trying to steal your man. I dunno, sis. Smells kinda fishy to me. Here's the other hand - if everything is bullshit and he IS cheating on you, then this obviously isn't the person you thought you knew. He's garbage and he thinks he's slick playing the game. Cheaters cheat for purely selfish reasons. If I were you, I'd sit down with your boyfriend and vocalize my concerns and try not to sound insecure and jealous while doing so. I'd keep calm and neutral as possible while I'd ask him straight out if there's something going on between them and if there's anything he needs or should tell you. If he's being honest and is sincerely just wanting to be friends with this girl, then ask to invite her over for dinner to officially meet and hang out and get to know one another. If this whole situation is as innocent as they'd want you to believe, this shouldn't be a problem and it should happen sooner rather than later. Don't be catty. Resist if you can. You don't have to pee in all 4 corners when she shows up - she SHOULD know who you are. In fact - she SHOULD be sincerely interested in making friends with you. Who knows, maybe YOU'LL end up cheating with her on HIM! Wouldn't that be plot twist? Either way, I'd walk slowly and try to keep calm. Boyfriend has some 'splaining to do, but give him a fair chance to 'splain. Good luck, OP!
>>21116331If your guy/girl meets someone new and regularly has them at his house 1on1 then that's going to kill a relationship pretty fast
Why have you never been to your boyfriend's house, OP? Are you a long distance relationship? (If so, I think I found the source of the problem...)
>>21116331No, but why would you ever put yourself in a position where temptation is rife?However much you trust a partner, there are things they shouldn't do out of respect. What if OP's bf had a bunch of male friends get together and propose they meet at a strip club?It doesn't matter if you 'trust' him not to do anything, it's inappropriate because he's putting himself in a position where he CAN do something. That's needlessly straining the trust people put in you.
>>21116331It’s not the hanging out part that bothers me. I don’t appreciate the sudden closeness. I haven’t even gone to his house. She was the first girl he’s ever brought to his home and his family assumed she was his girlfriend instead of me. He says he denied her being a relationship with him though.
>>21116344I never even mentioned if we’ve had sex or not. Sucks for you if you think a relationship is based solely on sexual actions.
>>21116594How often are they in each other’s houses?
>>21116477I’m trying my best not to jump the gun here. My boyfriend used to be really antisocial and didn’t have friends. I’m really glad that he’s making them now, whether male or female. This one in particular just so happened to bother me. This girl doesn’t have many friends. I know how those girls can cling to guys just being nice. My boyfriend can be that nice guy and be completely unaware. I don’t want to have to worry about that.
>>21116598Whores give up their diseased snatches immediately to try to trap a man
>>21116609How attractive looking is this girl?
>>21116514No, my parents were just never approving of me going to a boy’s house. Especially his, since he’s home alone majority of the time. They’ve recently given the okay so I plan to go soon. He usually just comes to mine or we’ll hang out somewhere else.
>>21116601They’ve known each other for a while but recently had the chance to get to know each other while I was away. They were never friends or even acknowledged each other. But ever since then, they meet up a lot and text everyday
>>21116628How many hours a week would you say?
>>21116616Men demand sex even more often than women are prepared to give it up, you dumb incel.
>>21116628How old are the 3 of you?
>>21116628I'll tell you the same thing I'd tell a guy in your situation. If he didn't cheat already he will.
>>21116110Has his behaviour changed since he started hanging out with her? Does he talk about her a lot when he’s with you?
It doesn’t feel like a good situation. He may not be cheating, but the other girl probably likes him in some way. Spending a lot of time alone at one another’s houses in an intimate setting. Both can become very at ease and talk about personal things. Even if he hasn’t cheated and never intends to, it’s a prime environment for feelings to develop. Which is why most adults just won’t put themselves in these situations if their in a relationship, because it’s too straining on both their partners trust and their own feelings.You guys sound young and maybe a little immature. Maybe you 3 should hang together more often. I think he should not expect it to be okay to meet her alone at her/his house multiple times a week. That’s my take.
>>21116617She’s...not ugly but not some babe either
>>21116635I don’t know. A good couple hours a day. They’re with each other rn too
>>21116683He refrained from saying her name in front of me and just used “friend.” So he would always talk about a friend but recently he’s been using her name so now I know he’s been talking about her a lot
>>21116720I’ve met the girl before all of this started. She’s not the most friendly and we didn’t exactly get along. I think she means well but her personality is a bit off
>>21116667We’re both 18, I don’t know her age, maybe 16
>>21116832How does she compare to yiu?
>>21116348>waaah the world should do what i want waaaaah everyone is a whore
>>21116837That doesn't really sound good to me OP. Maybe you should talk to him and set some boundaries. If he then breaks those boundaries you can get a clearer picture.
>>21116110Im in the same situation, except my bf is bi (gay leaning) so i dont even have to worry about it but it bugs the shit out of me. She knows he has his bf, me, but she still confessed her love to him, saying she has loved him since kindergarten. She texts him incessantly, daily, almost hourly. Invites him to hang out weekly. Like, its really insulting desu.But im not worried he will cheat, because the day she confessed, he came home and told me, laughed about it and farted.What my point is, if you and your bf are really really close, initmate, and have EXCELLENT communication, then dont worry about it. And im talking about very intimate daily communication. Like you guys discuss weird topics without judgements or shame. Like you have shaved your pussy in front of him casually while he was brushing his teeth sort of relationship.If you dont, then you definitely should be worried. Talk to him about it and see what he says. Tell him honestly, "hey, i dont like you talking to or hanging out with (name) as often as you do. I cant stop you and im not telling you to stop because you are youre own person, but i wanted to tell you how i was feeling about the situation."I did with my bf and he told he honestly how he felt about her, which was annoyed. He even showed me her daily texts. They were all really mundane shit like "what are you eating? What are you doing rn? Oh me too im making dinner." Etc
>>21118382>the day she confessed, he came home and told me, laughed about it and farted.That poor girl :(. That cut me deep.Even though she’s a proper thot for telling him that white he was in a relationship.
>>21118389It just goes to show how infatuated she is with him, but doesnt really know or love him for who he truly is. Hes my stinky man lolBut yeah it is sad. Sometimes love doesnt let you choose.Anyways, talk to your bf honestly and openly, ok?
>>21118393What makes you think she doesn’t love him for who he is?I’m not OP btw.
>>21118394Because she doesnt know him at all or as intimately as i do. All she sees is a handsome gym bro she has known since kindergarten and only recently started hanging out with him after 15+ yrs of no contact. She hasnt even seen his artwork or knows about his beanie baby collection. She doesnt know how he is terrified of animals with incisors because when he was 8 yrs old, he stuck his hand down a gopher hole and got bit.She doesnt know he takes judo classes. She doesnt even know his favorite pokemon, one of the most basic things about him. She doesnt put any effort into asking him about himself. All she is interested in doing is talking to him about mundane things for the sake of having his attention momentarily, which is why she ends up asking him about what he cooked for dinner instead of asking him what workouts he did that day, which is what he absolutely loves to talk about. I ask him every day what he hit at the gym, even if its stuff i dont understand, ill ask him to show me so that i know for the future. I know he loves showing people fitness stuff and martial arts stuff, but no one gives him the opportunity, so i ask him. She doesnt know that he loves animals and seeing sea animals in particular get hurt, makes him cry. Or that he sleep walks or has rhythmic movement disorder. Or that he sometimes likes to play street fighter for 5+ hours by himself.Plus i have gone to hang out with that group of friends that includes her. So ive met her several times. I know what she is like and how she treats my bf. She is simply infatuated, but not in love. My bf knows this too.We know for a FACT that she would get pissed if he played street fighter for 5+ hrs lol shes THAT kind of girl.
>>21118416Ah. That’s kind of sad. She sounds a bit dim to me. Are they good friends? I feel like someone like that would drive me nuts. What makes him want to hang out with her at all?I’m just curious at this point.
>>21118427Shes not dim at all. Shes actually very smart and going to medical school. Shes not socially awkward either.They good friends, but he has closer friends that he hangs out with more often and gets along with better.They hang out, er i should say they started hanging out again recently because my bf is friends with another fitness bro from when he was in middle school. Well that friend started hanging out with their other buddy from middle school, and they both know her from middle school too. So they decided to all meet up to catch up. Then they started hanging out more often, like once a week for the past 4 months. Then one day she asked my bf if they could hang out alone to catch up. Thats when she confessed.He almost stopped hanging out entirely with all 3 of them because of her confession. I told him it would be too cruel to do that and to keep hanging out with them so she wouldnt feel bad. She did just get over a break up about 6 or 7 months ago.I think she confessed knowing he cant do anything about it, and was confessing for her own sake and sanity. Like taking a boulder off her shoulders, i dont think she has any intent of stealing my bf lol shes very respectful, and i dont think she will be inviting him over one on one again.
>>21118444Interesting story femanon. Thanks for sharing
>>21118453Femnon?? Bro i said multiple times i am gay as fuck lol
>>21118533oh. sorry. lel
>>21116477This is actually good advice op. >Perhaps for your BF, it is, but we don't know her and her intentions.Normal for some people are red flags for others. I was one of the only girls in my neighborhood growing up during middle school. So it was completely normal for me to spend a lot of time alone with male friends in 100% plutonic way. Playing yugioh/MTG or some shit. Never even thought about it until one of them got a girlfriend and she got super agro about everything. Now its something I'm conscious of but some people just don't think about that or how it can look. It's a very real possibility this could be a situation. He could be more comfortable bringing her around because he DOSEN'T have feelings for her. He doesn't feel the same pressure. I knew a guy that took ages to get comfortable enough to bring his girl over, in college, just because he's an awkward fuck and has a hard time processing feelings of intimacy. At the same time, I've met some really shady hoes that abuse that kind of innocence to get what they want. They rely on the benefit of the doubt to get away with covertly seducing others behind their SO's backs. So tread carefully. Try to initiate a hang out with the two of them. Invite her over to have girl time. Try to get a feel for her, and for how the two of them interact.
>>21120150In my experience the girls who are onto something shady act lowkey borderline/histrionic even in normal settings and will do things to out themselves pretty quickly. They just can't help it. "Red Flags"> They become very close to you in a short amount of time and develops a keen interest in you, bordering on obsessive. Constant communication is upheld and failure to respond may result in attention seeking or revenge type behavior.> Their flirtation is indiscriminate, they do it with everyone and at any time. Even in inappropriate settings. It happens so often that people just say "Oh that's just how X is, they are just really nice like that." Is often sexually aggressive but always in a way they can be played off or explained away when confronted. >They have many tales of past woes and horrors; Or, reveals highly intimate information about themselves early on in the relationship, encouraging you to do the same. This is often sprinkled with attention/praise seeking behavior. And as much as they say they hate drama, somehow they are always in the center or at least a part of some drama. >They have an unusual relationship with exes: either still seeing them often and talking to them daily, or completely avoiding them or trash talking them in a way that is above and beyond what is usual. Will have a 'fan-club' of males and others may approach you to warn you about them. > They have an ongoing history of short-lived employment, short-lived personal relationships, or strained family relationships, and are unable to take criticism. > When discussing their past, they use vague language, leaving out details; or capitalizes on emotional dramas in their life instead of on facts or straightforward happenings.
>>21116110So yeah, you aren’t his girlfriend anymore. You got demoted to friend, you just don’t know it yet.
>>21120160>They tell several 'white' lies that you catch them in, and shows little remorse or apology after being caught. They then try to justify the white lie and is usually very convincing. Or just try to gaslight and red herring you when confronted. >They seem to occupy your time, often at their request, to the detriment of other pursuits. Including other, older, relationships. Instead of doing hobbies you used to like or fostering friendships you used to have, you find yourself letting those slide in order to focus more attention on your new 'friend'.> They ask for small 'favors' frequently and early on in the relationship. Will 'shit test' you to see what they can get away with and what you will put up with. If you pick up on any of these I would be concerned. I would tell it straight to the BF. And if he can't respect your boundaries or your wishes then it might be better to walk away from it before the inevitable shit show begins. I had to watch several male friends, some in committed relationships, fall prey to these types of disordered women and they can and will absolutely destroy lives. As unfortunate of a situation as that is it would be better to save yourself even more heartache instead of sticking around to watch it happen and getting dragged into the chaos yourself. Because not only do these types fo woman love fucking with guys, they love fucking with those guys SO's. It gives them feelings of power you couldn't even begin to describe.
>>21116110If you don't get to meet him often, It's only natural that he'd find someone else to spend time with. Be it romantic or not, he propably meets her more than you because of the distance between you and him. Maybe you're just overthinking it too much OR he's already looking for someone else if you're moving away, making it a long distance relationship.
>>21118444Had something similar happen with my husband (when we were still dating). A girl he knew from a few years back that he was close friends with messaged him out of the blue and waxed poetic about how much she loved him and still loved him. How she regretted not saying anything back then and wanted to reconnect with him now. He knew that she knew he was already taken, but brought it up just to make sure. She said it doesn't matter and her feelings haven't changed even after knowing that. It just made her want him more. He just said "lol are you for real" and blocked her. Told me about it next time he saw me. Let me read the messages. I asked him how he felt about it and he just said, "She was trouble then too. I don't need that. "God, I can't wait to have this mans children.
>>21120194I’m honestly believe I’m overthinking the situation. I really do believe him and I he’s not that type of person
>>21120778One important aspect i guess.. if the girl made any moves on him, would you trust he would tell you about it?
>>21120810I want to say yes. He usually tells me everything and he hasn’t kept any secrets from me, or at least I’m assuming. He’s pretty against people who lie or cheat so I’ve always just had an assumption that he never would and I wouldn’t think twice about it
>>21116846Oh yeah. Right about now he’s getting his balls sucked. He’ll probably eat her out too, enjoy tasting her on his lips when you next kiss him.
>>21120945How long are you together?
People who you think won’t cheat still can. Seen it happen personally. I wouldn’t let him spend so much time with another girl, and especially not just one. He should be spending that time with you, even if you can’t see each other often. This is coming from a man in a relationship.
>>21120985We started dating in February
>>21121031I really don’t want them to be seeing each other but intervening just doesn’t seem like an option I have. I don’t want to ruin things between us over this.