when if ever is ghosting someone in any sort of relationship acceptable? I want to hear some opinions /adv/ has on the ghosting phenomena, reasons why you've ghosted someone, have you been ghosted? How did it make you feel? Do you think you've ever been justified in ghosting someone?
>>20899216If it's been 2 dates or less, ghosting is fine.3 dates or more and u owe them an explanation if you don't want to see them anymore.Too many cowards these days.
>>20899216It's always acceptable and I reserve the right
I just can't be bothered to talk to people sometimes. Feels draining to my soul. I don't think it can be justified and I don't expect people to understand
YeahBecause I have a life and don't care about relationships no matter how much my ex said he "loved me" like get a fucking hobby Jesus Christ.yeah, didn't care. I have a social life outside of that personWho gives a fuck about the moral implications of ghosting. If you don't mind it, cool. If you do, break up.
>>20899227This.Also legit infedelity/abuse/lack of safety is an okay excuse to ghost.Anything less is cruel and weak.
>>20899216>when if ever is ghosting someone in any sort of relationship acceptable?Whenever you want to.>reasons why you've ghosted someoneI haven't. I prefer to write people an autistic wall of text before calling quits. I like letting people know how much they suck, or at least why I don't feel they are worth my time anymore.>have you been ghosted?Twice I think. Maybe thrice but I really deserve it that time and pretty much asked for it.>How did it make you feel?Pretty much a mix of "oh well" and "haha, what?">Do you think you've ever been justified in ghosting someone?You not wanting to spend time on a person and explanations is always justified.
>>20899216>>20899227What he said, with one addendum:If we go on one or two dates and I'm not feeling it, and neither of text each other to arrange another one, cool.When the girl wants another one and texts me, I'll give a simple "I had a really good time, but I don't think it will work out. Sorry, but I wish you the best." I honestly don't understand what's so hard about that. I've been ghosted, and I have friends who do it, and they rationalize that they don't "owe anyone anything." Which is true, but if it takes almost no effort, and saves the other person stress, then why not? I've never had anyone be a dick about it, I always get a text back with "I understand, I appreciate your honesty" or something similar.
>>20899216I have never been ghosted, neither ghosted someone myself. But I am an old-fashion guy who lives in a conservative country where tinder, badoo and all those stuff still doesn't change the way we "romantically" relate to other people. But yeah, I think ghosting is a consequence of the current world phenomena. Relationships are disposable nowadays. If you meet other people with your thumb, its obvious you'll reject and abandon them with the same courage: just a thumb movement. I like to talk to them, look at them and showing my emotions, and that they do the same to me. Everything is knowledge.
>>20899227id agree with thati got ghosted after 7 months last summer, that one hurt and i was so fucking pissed that she couldnt at least have the difficult conversation with me. i would have at least respected that even if i didnt like the outcome. cowardly, selfish, inconsiderate, you name it
Related question: What should you do when you don't want to hang out with someone?
>when if ever is ghosting someone in any sort of relationship acceptable?Never? Just be honest and tell someone you aren't interested anymore. It's really not that hard. I think most women (and men) are so damn afraid of confrontation. People respect honesty. BE DIRECT AND HONEST ALWAYS
Currently in the process of being ghosted for my first time, after what I thought was a great day, and boy does it suck
>>20899216early dating stages or abuse/violence. i've been in both situations and I've ghosted a lot of first dates (but that's more of a fade) and I still talk to my abuser like a lot of domestic violence victims do.
>>20899794Did you mean great date? If so the same shit happened to me, even hooked up with her and we both seemed to have a good time. Oh well, sometimes you can never tell what someone is actually thinking
>>20899254typical psycho westernized female response>fuck men everythings about meenjoy the cat life
Jesus fuckin ChristGhosting will always be worse than telling people the truth.By ghosting you are betraying someone's trust, you invested in them, they invested in you, you have a social contract and if you want out you need to sign your letter of resignation so they have a chance to grow as a person.You take away so much when you ghost. Closure, knowledge, the potential to selfreflection. It is asocial behavior, I understand why people do it but I absolutely do not understand people justifying it. Just be honest with yourself and admit that you're a shitty person who is afraid of confrontation.
>>20899695I know this feel. I got ghosted out of nowhere by a girl I had been seeing for 3 months. It hurts.
>>20899216After my first break up my ex tried to stay friends, and inevitably ended up telling me stuff I didnt need to hear about other guys. At that point, I knew she wasnt even worth an explanation and I ignored every text
>>20900236>It is asocial behaviorin other words, fitting for this day and age
>>20899216Never, quite the opposite. I cannot seem to get rid of a guy and tried everything including ghosting but they somehow think I'm giving them a test and want them to try and find me. Scary
>>20899216Been ghosted so many times I can't even count. Ghosting is unacceptable and annoying as hell. Fucking piece of shit women can't even tell me they don't like me. It always happens when I think all went fine. But no, it's so hard for them to just say they didn't like the date.
>>20900800just be real with themplaying games with guys only leads them down the elliot rodger path quicker
>>20899950Cats are for brain dead retards who want toxoplasmosis.I don't even masturbate. That's how little you walking sperm banks matter to me. Get a life.
>>20899216Always get ghosteed after I hook up with a guy. I had a crazy sex drive back then and was craving dick 24/7. Now im on BC and Im never horny anymore.
>>20900817>Now im on BC and Im never horny anymore.God damn this. I wanted to suggest it to my gf but I've read too many times that women lose sex drive because of it.I don't want to use condoms for fucks sake. I want to come inside her.
>>20900811I've tried everything. Honesty, boy that doesn't work. Tried its me not you or you deserve someone better or I have a restraining order. Nothing works, well thats not entirely true, if I get another bf real quick that is bigger than the guy he leaves me alone.
>>20900858Hey you can get the copper IUD, I love cream pies so that's what I got. Its got no hormones either if you make sure to get the copper one.
>>20900896This. Make sure to get it at Planned Parenthood, a regular physician is usually hesitant to put an IUD in a woman who hasn't had children yet, which is dumb. I got my first one at 19 at Planned Parenthood after my doc refused, PP had no problem with it and I only paid $50 based on my income since I had no insurance
>>20900925That's so fucking grim to hear, I live in the UK so I literally popped down to my local sexual health clinic and they shoved it in. They don't like putting it in women without children cus they're usually smaller therefore trickier, that's literally it.
>>20900896I read about it too. This shit sounds kinda scary and I highly doubt she'll actually want to put a foreign body in her vag. It sounds like some sort of major fuckery is needed to get it done. And I'm kinda scared of making her infertile because I really want to have children. Just not right now.
If they are extremely abusive and you fear for your safety or if they aren't mentally sound enough to understand a breakup.I'd also argue if they cheated you can choose to just leave, if not going to take revenge on them somehow.
>>20900945...a foreign body in her bag? You mean a penis or a vibrator don't count? There's no major fuckery, it goes like this>Lie down on table, pants off>Piece of equipment holds you open>Piece of equipment grabs your cervix to keep it still>IUD gets shoved in>RestIts a deeply uncomfortable experience, but the copper one definitely has no effect on long term fertility and honestly it's the only non-hormonal birth control for women that isn't condoms. It's your life tho anon.
>>20900811Even when a guy shoots people up it's still womens' fault. Ah society never fails to surprise me with its misogyny.
>>20900958Well a foreign body that's there at all times and it's well "up there".Does it hurt in any way? Any cramps or whatever? What about periods?
>>20900958>>20900945Its kind of the same process if a women ever gets a miscarriage, a lot of times not all the tissue comes out which can cause sepsis. They dilate the cervix open and scrape the remains out. It doesnt affect fertility.
>>20900976>They dilate the cervix open and scrape the remains out. It doesnt affect fertility.Shit I guess there's no way I'm gonna convince her to do THAT.Ah well...
>>20900967The copper IUD literally has no hormones, the pill fucks women up WAY more and can cause extreme mood swings, loss of libido, increased risk of blood clots, dry vagina, severe acne etc. And you must be very consistent about taking the pill everyday. Nuvarings made my insane and it kept falling out, the injection can cause major weight gain, the IUD you dont have to worry about it, its really the best option, every other birth control comes with bad side effects.
>>20900987For me I felt 3 sharp pains and it was over. They offered me anesthesia but I refused. The cervix dilates after a women gives birth, it always goes back to the original size.
>>20900967I'd say it was deeply uncomfortable verging on pain to get put in, so I'm not looking forward to having it replaced but at least that's every 5 years for me. No cramps at all, doesn't affect my periods although if you're used to hormonal birth control they can feel heavier because they're normal. Sometimes I get paranoid about it but I've had 0 issues so far.
>>20900987Also the scraping thing was about after misscarriage, nothing about IUD. My point was that her cervix will be dialted if she ever has children or a misscarriage, its unavoidable and natural.
>>20900992I know. She hasn't given birth yet and she told me she's quite scared of it and how it'll likely rip apart her vagina.>>20900994How about removal? Is it difficult and painful?
>>20901001Yeah, giving birth can ruin the vagina. Thats just being a women. Its like pooping a watermelon. But simple dilating the vagina to put an IUD wont "rip apart" the vagina. Giving birth is a million times more painful than getting an IUD put in.
>>20901001I have yet to have it replaced / removed, sorry bud
>>20899216I personally find ghosting to be immature and unacceptable in any sort of relationship. I think everyone should have the balls to tell someone they're through with the relationship rather than just leaving them in the dark indefinitely. I personally have not been ghosted before and I would never ghost someone, but I've only used Tinder for hookups and otherwise have not fiddled with online dating.
>>20899216>have you been ghosted?Yes.>How did it make you feel?First time it happened, I almost started crying and choked up quite bad. The other times hurt too, but now I realize it's just what bitches do because men are disposable and women aren't capable of love.>Do you think you've ever been justified in ghosting someone?Not really, but I ghosted my first gf after 5 months and the bitch blew up my phone with calls and texts, lmao.
>>20901030>it's just what bitches do because men are disposable and women aren't capable of love.They do it because they can. They have multiple men at the same time, so they just don't get attached to either of them and they don't have time to respond to every single one. And they never face any sort of consequences of their behavior.>Not really, but I ghosted my first gf after 5 months and the bitch blew up my phone with calls and texts, lmao.It's because not getting any sort of an explanation makes your brain go haywire. People themselves are their worst enemies. This is why silence is the best weapon against someone. Not saying shit about someone. But not saying anything at all.
>>20899241t. autistic cunt
>>20901030>men are disposable and women aren't capable of love>I ghosted my first gf after 5 months and the bitch blew up my phone with calls and texts, lmao.Ah the quality of men~ They aren't even aware of it which is the funny part.
>>20899216I never ghosted someone but I was ghosted plenty of times. It wasn't that bad towards the end, I got used to it. But I gave up dating for now, as it completely destroys my ego and makes me feel unimportant.
>>20901103Same here. The potential benefits just aren't even worth it anymore.
Yeah, been ghosted a few times myself. Just fucking hate it. Why can't you just reply to me? A simple no is fine. If you took the time to have a long conversation with me, or hang out with me, or whatever the fuck it may be, you know I'm not a complete creep that's going to go nuts if you say no.I hate being left in the wind to try to figure out what the fuck went wrong. Because I don't know how to fix anything, so I just have to wildly guess.
>>20899216in most cases, ghosting shouldnt be done, it leaves the other person waiting for something.Also, some people have a tendency to do it more than others, and they dont solve their problems by talking because they think its ok to ghost people
>>20900815Wow look at this brainlet femanon who thinks that toxoplasmosis actually makes people mind controlled by cats when there is not a single valid scientific article stating this. Toxoplasmosis is nothing more than an extremely rare medical condition someone can get from cats.
>>20899216Well a lot of people (on this board for instance) call it "ghosting" when they just write a random person or a tinder match and they don't reply.
>>20901169Not really, are you retarded or just a female?
Avoidance is a shit social strategy at the best of times. and it sure as hell indicates serious lack of manners.
>>20901166>toxofagWhen will you retards ever learn? I'll still be here tending to my fish and aquatic plants while you'll end up TOXO'd and one-eyed.Oh, and by the way: Cats aren't sexy. I don't like dogs either but women are much more attracted to men who can handle dogs than losers who are so dumb they actually settle on raising their cats.
>>20899216As someone who ghosts pretty much everyone at some point, I’d say that it is never acceptable. I want to keep in contact with my family, friends, etc, but sometimes I’m too neurotic to socialize. It’s not uncommon for me to text someone back after a week or more.
If you are a good looking desirable man, ghosting a woman is always 100% acceptable. No matter how long you've talked or how many times you've met. They ghost lesser males hundreds of times per year, and deserve it. Its simply justice
>>20899216Well you see, women are a special class of citizen always treated better than men, gets preferential treatments in the job market and is obviously more valuable in the dating market.If you are a pretty girl, you will never feel any negative emotions coming your way, so why should they be able to handle conflicts?Ghosting just means they can avoid to deal with certain people, simply turning off a person they don't want to deal with. They clearly think they are better than you and thus don't owe you any excuse.
>>20899254>who giv a fuck about the moral implecationsThis is what is wrong with people today...Treat others how you woulf want to be treated, enjoy growing old and realizing nobody loves you.
>>20901343i realised at a young age nobody loves me, checkmate.
>>20899216Ghosting is always rude. Just be honest about your intentions. If they freak out it's not your problem unless you were a severe asshole or they are insane, which is not common.
>>20901349What came first, the chicken or the egg?You can break that cycle.
>>20901309I think that just encourages girls to ghost. Do onto others as you would have others do on to you man.
>>20901379yeah i tried that for like 15 years. i wish it were true, but in my experience being kind and stuff just makes people take advantage of you
>>20899216>when if ever is ghosting someone in any sort of relationship acceptable? Early on is fine.>reasons why you've ghosted someone? Because they've turned out to be creeps.>have you been ghosted? Not quite. Contact just evaporated to no response within 5 days so I quit responding, too. Guy just didn't want to tell me off (and he never messaged me again after).>How did it make you feel? I felt no different. >Do you think you've ever been justified in ghosting someone?I'm not putting up with bad-behaved freaks. Why waste precious time? It's as pointless as feeding internet trolls or the like.To emphasize, quotes from a little article, "I swiped left on Tinder so he found me on LinkedIn. Why can't some men take no for an answer?";>Last week I got a message on LinkedIn from a man I’ve never met. This was weird enough to begin with – like most millennials, I go on LinkedIn approximately never – but he wasn’t reaching out with an exciting new job opportunity. Instead, he’d written to proposition me. This man had seen me on Tinder and, (correctly) suspecting we wouldn’t match, had found my last name, sought out my profile on a professional networking website and used it to try to pick me up.>I posted a screenshot of the message on Twitter and was met with an avalanche of sympathetic replies. Women around the world told me their horror stories, detailing the times men they’d already rejected on dating apps somehow found their Facebook or Instagram accounts and asked them out. One told me about a woman who’d received a phone call at her office from a hopeful suitor, who had apparently Googled her work contact number. Later that day a friend of mine was frightened and frustrated when she got home to find a stranger had printed a shirtless photo of himself and slid it under her front door, in some sort of profoundly misguided attempt at getting her attention.
>>20901343Umm hello?? I treat people I actually like the way I want to be treated, not beta princess worshipping walking cocks. You know, like the friends who hang out with me on weekends at the digibar not the dumb perv who thinks he'll get sex out of me if he pays for my dinner.Maybe if some of you morons would actually date in your league, you'd all be much happier.
>>20899216Ghosting is a passive aggressive way to deal with your problems. Perfect for these fake millenials who are too scared to communicate or be vulnerble.
>>20901414That is entirely inconsistent from what you said before.>>20901388Difference between being nice and being a chump.
>>20899844Yeah, hung out at a club, she texted the next day which I thought was a good sign. we hung out she was all over me and I spent the night, but then nothing. All the vibes she was giving off didn't feel like it was going to be a one night stand
>when if ever is ghosting someone in any sort of relationship acceptablewhen the other person continually will not accept no, the relationship is so new you're not established in each other's lives, if the other person will not understand your need to leave the relationship>reasons why you've ghosted someoneOnce for a stalker, second for a relationship where my needs were consistently not met. Various people who were not important in my life>have you been ghostedyes, fwb got a gf>how did it make you feelwould've appreciated a simple 'i'm seeing someone'>do you think you've ever been justified in ghosting someoneyes, both times. about to ghost #2 for the second time
>>20901350so what's the nice way of saying you're a piece of shit and i'm done with you?
>>20901219I would be okay with it if the girls who ghosted me turned out to be schizo psycho-retards like youSadly you're just an exceptional case
>>20901512Seek therapy, your question is quite literally a sign of autism. I am not joking.If your first or second date was somehow THAT fucking bad that you feel the need to say "you're a piece of shit" I'm sure you could elaborate and at least give them a chance to self reflect before ghosting. E.g. "This isn't going to work because you were an asshole to the waitress and spilled coffee on her, bye" or something
>>20901686I'm not schizophrenic. You are.
>>20901692Settle down there, pal. Not everyone is as enlightened as you and some relationships are not healthy to be in.
>>20900236This assumes the person being ghosted is worthy of such consideration. If they never provided consideration for the ghoster to begin with, then they don’t deserve or are entitled to such.
>>20901739That isnt most ghosting cases and it often helps to be the bigger person and be considerate to dicks.
>when if ever is ghosting someone in any sort of relationship acceptable?I'd say when they're being pushy after you said you didn't want to spend time with them, or if the person's really creepy.>Have you been ghosted?I don't think so.>Do you think you've ever been justified in ghosting someone?Yes, I've ghosted a few people. One was an old friend that became incredibly toxic. Wouldn't take no for an answer whenever I'd say I didn't want to hang out with them, always caused drama when we would hang out, just nonstop problems, but I kept hanging out cause I guess I felt like I was supposed to after knowing him for 10+ years. After a while though, when I started going out on my own and realized how much more fun I was having, I kept telling him I want to do things on my own and he'd basically stalk me and ask people where I'm at so he can just show up and do the same stupid shit of trying to fight others/me/whatever. Cut off ties with him completely.Honestly the others have just been flings, usually me saying I don't want anything serious and they keep trying to make it serious and telling people we're together anyways. Shit's weird. Social media is also weird and when some people really like you, they will literally show up at the places you've posted from just to get a chance to talk to you. My location is never on, I usually avoid posting the name of the place I'm at, and yet they still happen to find the same restaurants/stores/wherever I like to go to.
I remember when before it was called ghosting. I use to get bent out if shape when someone would stop responding. People would tell me how it's stupid to get upset. "They dont want to talk to you, they're just not interested" Grow a dick. Now I hear people call it ghosting and if you do it to someone your bad and it hurts peoples feelings. Grow a dick. No one owes you a response. If a bitch don't want to talk to you move or if you donr want to talk to her just drop her. There's over a billion people on this planet we are all expendable.
>>20901780>be considerate to dicksThat’s your choice. Not mine.
>>20901725I'm talking about ghosting after a date here, as it looks like most people in this thread are.That being said ghosting someone as a way to break up with them is even worse.
>>20901818>>20901853>People were assholes to me so I'm going to become misanthropist and use this to justify my self being an asshole to othersAh, I remember when I was an edgy 14-year old ...
>>20901871I'm not saying be an ass hole. I'm saying no one person is worth getting attached to. None of us are special.
>>20901891You're right about that, but that isn't really an excuse to ghost other people when it causes them distress. Be the better person
>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GHOSTED?>Millennial daters>daters>ghostedgood job social """""""scientists""""""" your incompetence can infallibly be relied upon to misunderstand emergent niche phenomena and reinforce their broad misapplication. fuck sake if these faggots are gonna lump being rude and having shit manners in with ghosting they could at the very least draw some sort of distinction
How many of you who said ghosting is perfectly fine think it's also fine if you have been bf/gf for a long time and he/she ghosts you without warning out of nowhere?
>>20901979But why is it so distressing and why the change in attitude towards this behavior? That's what I dont understand.
>>20902032It's been explained in this thread thoroughly if you took the time to read it.First of all, it's basic decency and manners (in most Western cultures) to say goodbye at the end of an interaction with someone, but since that's a social construct i'm not going to argue it any further and you can take it or leave it.The important thing when it comes to dating though, is that it leaves you with uncertainty, which people hate, e.g. "Did I do something wrong, or did she just move to Cambodia and forget to tell me?" And if it does turn out they lost interest because of something you did or said, it makes it hard to improve yourself if you don't what you did wrong. Also you are kind of wasting someone's time and being dishonest, if you're texting them without any real interest or wanting it to go anywhere.
>>20900858how hard do her hormones typically fuck with her? like is it difficult for her to keep her emotions in check, maintain composure, keep a steady mood, etc? is she significantly affected by her menstrual cycle? does she get pms? the horror stories seem more prevalent than they are because "i got on birth control and it served its intended purpose satisfactorily without unwanted side effects" isn't remarkable enough to compel loads of people to wanna share their experience with it.
>>20900960you're super bored rn aren't ya
>>20901986It'd be still perfectly fine, it's their life and their choices to make. And the "harm" from ghosting is all up to you.Now obviously it'd be a disappointing choice but if my gf thinks that ghosting is a way to end a relationship, it's up to me not seeing her attitude coming.>>20901979Basically everything you do can cause distress. Ending a relationship in a non childish way is pretty distressing too.
>>20902136Distress is inevitable, what matters is treating people how you would like to be treated.If someome stopped loving me i wouldnt want them to stay with me, but i also would like some fucking notice.
>>20901853Being a dick to a dick just means you are also a dick. It will also justify to them why they should have been a dick.
>>20902060>First of all, it's basic decency and manners (in most Western cultures) to say goodbye at the end of an interaction with someone, but since that's a social construct i'm not going to argue it any further and you can take it or leave it.The thing though is that ghosting is so common that its the new normal. Pre 2010 if I went to someone bitching how a girl cut contact with me they'd tell me to suck it up.
>>20902060>The important thing when it comes to dating though, is that it leaves you with uncertaintyWhich would be the case with a goodbye too? If anything it'd be more vague. If someone went as far as ghosting, you know that either you fucked up BIG or that they don't care too much about you.
Ok here's the story of how I've been ghosted before meeting my actual boyfriend>Be me>Meet a guy on Facebook> We start talking about game of thrones>He's cute and he thinks I'm hot> We talk everyday for 2 weeks>First date we went the the movies to watch It>He had a great time laughed a lot and the date was 10/10>Keep talking for another 7 days>Second date>We go to a bar, again everything was amazing and we stayed in a park talking until 5am>Another week talking, everything 10/10>I went to a party got drunk and confessed that I was into him>He said he was into me too> Third date, we go out and finally we kissed, we stayed in a bar until 6am>the other day he starts to treat me like shit>Suddenly stops answering my texts messages> I've been ghosted c:
>>20901409>>20901504Wow, I can't imagine living the hard life that you girls live. :( Come here, my babygirls! Let anondaddy (or call me dabdaddy XD) hug you princesses and protect you from all the horrible men!
>>20902209>If someone went as far as ghosting, you know that either you fucked up BIG or that they don't care too much about you.Uhh did you even read my post?Not true at all, when someone ghosts you, you have zero way of knowing what really happened or getting closure. If I dated a girl for six months or more and she suddenly and unexpectedly ghosted me instead of telling me she was unhappy in the relationship, I would probably call her parents and ask if she was in an accident or something.And I didn't mean a literal one-word "Goodbye!" text lmao, I mean A goodbye, it's a common noun, meaning any sort of way of letting someone know you're leaving and why
>>20902453>you have zero way of knowing what really happened or getting closure.As long they aren't dead, there aren't too many options. You might have a tricky time to guess WHICH reason it was but if you're not horrible at self reflection it shouldn't be that hard. There is only>AYou fucked up.>BThey don't give a fuck.>letting someone know you're leaving and whyAnd a lot people have even more issues dealing with it than ghosting, will try to make the person change their mind, argue or even gaslights against their reasons and potentially go to insults and threats.
>>20902470Are you really arguing FOR ghosting?The majority of people are distressed by the uncertainty; your argument is futile because it's objectively wrong. You can't convince people how they feel, it's a natural human reaction to want closure. But I'll bite anyway:>You fucked up>They don't give a fuckSure, but none of that says WHY. If you fucked up and don't know why, how is that any help? Self-reflection is not just "Oh well guess I fucked up or they don't give a fuck about me, time to move on". That accomplished nothing.>A lot of people have more issues dealing with telling someone why they aren't interested or are leavingThat's a minority of people, and if they are really like that they should seek psychiatric help. It is not normal social behavior to just cut a boyfriend/girlfriend out of your life extremely abruptly and without saying goodbye. The rest of your argument is retarded, considering if they have a negative reaction you can just block them. Really you're trying to say "Well, if the person being ghosted happens to be an abusive, mentally deranged maniac... then it's okay". Well, no shit. But that's an exception.
>>20902602>Are you really arguing FOR ghosting?I'm arguing that it's only as big of a deal as people make it out to be. From the position of someone who was ghosted and who would never consider doing it himself.>You can't convince people how they feel, it's a natural human reaction to want closure.Tons of human reactions and feelings are natural, and irrational and unlikely to be full-filled. And since we're somewhat conscious, we can decide how to deal with the initial feelz.>If you fucked up and don't know why, how is that any help?It's obviously not as good of a feedback as one could get but still a starting point to work with. "Oh well guess I fucked up" shouldn't end there but in revisiting of all potential situation where you might've fucked up. Or where you might've misread the signs the partner gave you about their commitment levels. Again, not as good and solid as actual feedback but more often than not you'll find something and get muh conclusion all by yourself. Keep in mind that the feedback you might get can be pretty faulty/incomplete/biased too and you'd still need to do the whole revisiting stuff.>That's a minority of peopleJust as the whole "ghosting in a relationship". Unless I'm totally out of touch with ze youth and missed some fresh data, ghosting usually happens after a few dates, in LDR memes and in low burning friendships that just die down. Someone ghosting the other in an actual relationship that lasts for 6+ months, IS exceptional and a solid indicator that there is something wrong with either of the partners.>considering if they have a negative reaction you can just block themSure but it'd be still more stress and most people suck at dealing with stress.
>>20902679>I'm arguing that it's only as big of a deal as people make it out to be.>Tons of human reactions and feelings are natural, and irrational and unlikely to be full-filled.It takes a negligible amount of effort to send a simple "Sorry this isn't working, I want to see other people." It's a big deal because ghosting is a selfish and anti-social trend.>It's obviously not as good of a feedback as one could get but still a starting point to work with.Without any sort of indication from the offended party, it really is impossible to ever know. Imagine this: you spend all your time distressed and lost in self-reflection trying to figure out what you did wrong, thinking back trying to decide the real cause. Am I unattractive? Is it because her mother doesn't like me? Is she cheating on me with that guy who smiled at her at work that one time? Am I just bad at sex and she didn't have the heart to tell me? So you finally decide that you're bad a sex, a terrible blow to your self-esteem. Then two months later she sends you a message saying "Sorry I disappeared, I had an intense depressive episode and you didn't do anything wrong but I couldn't handle embarrassing myself by telling you". So you never really got full closure until that moment because it could be fucking anything. It doesn't matter if you get a "starting point", it still feels shitty and heavy on your heart+brain to not conclusively know what went wrong. It's natural human instinct to find the root source of problems, however irrational you think it is, it benefits us because it helps us find solutions and give direction to self-improvement.>>20902679>and most people suck at dealing with stress.Yes, interesting you're almost contradicting yourself when you said "we can decide how to deal with the initial feelz". If you can take action with minimal effort (literally just sending a single text) to ease an enormous amount of stress on the other person, there's really no excuse not to.
>>20902750Good points, anon. Good example too. Guess I put myself into the corner by trying to shitpost over something too tricky to justify outside of specific situations.
>>20901476Literally my exact experience man minus the ONS. Would have felt a little less bad if she'd just left me on read so i'd get the message even if it hurt a little but instead she didn't even open both messages so now I sorta feel like a freak lol. feelsbadman
Ghosting is legitimately for cowards who can't communicate.
Only acceptable if you have already explicitly goodbye and the person is harassing you. I just to be a major ghoster until I realized how rude I was being and that I don't need to be afraid to say goodbye. A 10 second text means a lot of closure for people.
ITT : Americans.
Case 1:>match with girl, not the best looking but kinda cute>talk a lot >ask her if she wants to get coffee or something>says yes but she's really busy this week with college>ok cool>message occasionally over next few week or so>ask again >says she's moving apartment so will be busy all week>talk a bit more, her replies become more and more infrequentAt this point I was about ready to give up, but>sends me a message a week later that she's really sorry she didn't reply and that we can meet up once her life settles down a bit>message a bit more for a few days>ghosts meHad the cunt just said she wasn't interested from the getgo I'd be fucking fine, but the fact that she led me on for the month is just ridiculous. This was pretty early in my use of dating apps so I really should've cut if off earlier.Case 2:>match with this absolutely gorgeous 10/10>message for 4 hours straight, have a bunch in common>she says she has to go to sleep at about 1am, wishes me a good night>message her the next day asking if she wanted to get coffee>no replyThis one just plain hurt.
>>20903695European girls ghost too lolLuckily I managed to develop a coping mechanism. Whenever I get to date a girl these days I just automatically assume she's going to ghost me so I do the bare minimum self investment.I don't think that's healthy though.
>when you are at so at the starting level, you don't even get ghostedIf you dont count tinder stuff, i dont even have the chance to. I really should get out more, more efficiently too..
>>20903783Well to make you feel better, that 10/10 girl was probably a catfish
>>20904000Why ghost me at all then?
>>20903695I'm European and ghost people all the time.Lol.
Interesting thread, I've ghosted a friend of mine not too long ago and still feel quite guilty about it, but to me at the time and still now I feel like it was the only option to escape from the situation I found myself in. Essentially I found myself becoming close 'friends' with an extremely passive aggressive man who had an endless energy for attempting to put me down or criticise everything I did, i'm 90% sure he was a standard narcissist. It was as one-sided as a friendship can be, I pretty much hated every minute of it, with him trying to establish his superiority as he was a massive loser and I was pretty much just that little bit extra of a loser so he could get away with it. Trying not to turn this into my own personal diary but basically I felt that telling him I was sick of him would allow him to get his foot in the door to twist the situation round or try to talk me out of my decision. I had spent the better part of a year trying to not reply as much and not see him nearly as much but he would just turn up uninvited anyway. Eventually I was at the end of my rope and stopped replying entirely.As many people have said here I do feel it is pretty cowardly and I still feel guilty about it nearly a year later, but I also just don't know what else I could have done for the sake of my own sanity. Sorry if this is just a thread about romantic relationships but just wanted to add my own experience in here as I feel that ghosting sometimes is the only answer to escape some shit situations
>>20904155>I feel that ghosting sometimes is the only answer to escape some shit situationsI think that your story is not exactly ghosting since you told him you were sick of him, so it's not as though he didn't have it coming. Plus he's a cunt.But the sort of ghosting after a few dates, or on friends - for no obvious reason, hence the 'ghost' part - is a shitty thing to do.
believe it or not you can get ghosted by people that actually do like you, it's just poor social skills are just getting more and more common and as a result commitment is becoming more terrifying