GUIDELINES:Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.Keep questions short for more answers.If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.And please no derailing arguments.FAQ:>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.>I like someone. What do I do?>How can I tell if someone likes me?Ask them out.>Where do I meet girls/guys?Anywhere outside. Or online.>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me pleaseWe're not in their head, we don't know.>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?No.>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.>Why is there no new thread?Create one yourself. You can use these macros: https://imgur.com/a/y6BF
Reposting here and deleting the old one because I didn't realize we were on auto-sage.Has anyone here ever broken up with someone because they have weird hobbies you couldn't get into?Did you regret it? What was the hobby?
>he texts me randomly>I text back>he makes no effort to continue the conversationWhy is he like this?
on date went for kiss she started laughing while maintaining eye contact probably out of nervousness, and then i went on the side of her head and down her neck and kissed her where her neck connects to the body she shivered for a split second and i felt goosebumps on my lips and she stayed still and didnt move , were still talking like nothing happenedwhat can i conclude out of this, she was hinting that we go for lunch together before that happened ?
>>20792960Also, related and/or alternate question: Has anyone ever dealt with a date who has hobbies you aren't into or maybe are a far more extreme version of yours successfully? Did you or did you not participate in them and, if you did, did you enjoy participating in them in spite of them maybe being dumb things you didn't 'get'?...Another alternate question why does it feel like I'm probably inventing reasons to not ask her out?
>>20792998I’m obsessed with reptiles and amphibians, my partner is ambivalent. He enjoys when I talk about them sometimes because he enjoys my enjoyment, other times he’s just not interested. It’s not an issue at all, I just continue being obsessed while he’s into other things He is going to a reptile expo with me soon because he thinks it will be fun and I’ll like it. I’m going to try playing Warhammer. Neither of us are ever going to get super into each other’s hobbies but that doesn’t mean there isn’t exchange and mutual enjoyment
>>20792968Do you like him? Romantically?
How does it feel to have penis? And how does getting boner feel?
>>20792998My boyfriend has completely different hobbies, it's not an issue at all.We have stuff we like doing together, stuff we enjoy doing alone, and it just works for us perfectly.
I am conflicted. Should I step away from the project or nah?I've just lost all motivation to do anything over the past day or so. And I really don't want to be involved in anything political right now.But I feel that I'll get past this rough spot pretty quickly.But on the other hand, Im afraid that I'll still have no motivation come next week, when we have several big things to do. And I dont wanna leave the others on their own....
>>20793012Most of the time it's just a pound of flesh that gets in the way sometimes. When you get a boner it feels, like, idk your hand curling up into a fist on its own, giving a sense of pressure. And it's screaming for attention and touching it feels good. So logically you're feeling compelled to slam it into anything and everything.
>>20793008Should've given more context. We dated for a while, not very seriously though because I've been away from home often for my studies. I've been away from home for 3 months now. I kinda assumed he moved on but he started messaging me again, but it's hard for me because he does this kind of stuff. I still think about him a lot desu
>>20793045I wish I had a dick, it sounds much more fun.
>who wants to test drive my new mouth?As you know, I had surgery at the start of this month. Could I add something like that to my OkCupid profile?
>>20793045Thanks anon! Idk why, but dicks really fascinate me.
>>20792968Why would you text when you can make the effort to conversate in person?
>>20793051I mean you didn't really answer the question. To put it more simply, would you like to date him currently?If yes, try pushing back with a bit more effort to probe his level of interest. I would say that the vast majority of guys, if they're messaging a girl with no clear reason, are romantically and/or sexually interested in that girl.
>>20793069Dude this is like asking someone to look in a crystal ball. How in the world should we know what she thought of it? She could've been nervous and happy to talk over it. She could've been delighted. Both would've elicited the same outward response if she has some self control. Given the fact that you were on a date and she was hinting at a second date it's safe to assume she enjoyed it, but that's about the only meaningful thing to say about it. Just go on a second date.
>>20793067When I'm back home I think I'd like to try again yes. And I don't know wtf to say, I try to be interesting and engage him but it doesn't work. He's not the most chatty person, but even so I don't know why he's texting me first if he won't put even a bit of effort in continuing a conversation... It kind of makes me feel like the only reason he texts me is to see if I still have any interest left>>20793065Well I'm in another country right now. Texting wasn't an issue when I was home, we'd only use it to agree when/where to meet for dates
>>20792980Hu are you obvious or something? If she's letting you do it that's a good thing. Did you actually get this kiss?If yes, then guess what, it's a good thing.Hinting at another date? It's a good thing.What is the question here?
Hey girlsI ingested 40mgs of THC and it's been months, almost a year since I ever touched a pipe.So should I worry or will I be alright? I just realized and it's too late for me to stop it.
Whatever women are on this board: when your ex girlfriend says she wants to be friends even though she just dumped you for for another man, what does it mean? We spent almost four years together and were recently having some issues, but she basically gave up when it was convenient, so i'm confused.
>>20793097I can't read her mind, but in my opinion she doesn't want to be your friend.She's trying to be nice and communicating she cares about you.
>>20793097Unless you have gotten to the point where you about hate your partner by the time you break up, it is very painful and difficult to dump someone. She knows that you will likely feel tossed aside, ruled not good enough, rejected, worthless, you name it, but just because you no longer see a future being in a relationship with this person doesn't mean you have anywhere as strongly a judgment on them. She likely feels you are an amazing guy who gave her a lot, someone special enough to give all her love to for years, but no longer the person she sees a long term relationship/marriage with."I want to be friends" is a weak, stunted attempt to convey that there's still appreciation, gratefulness, love, a feeling of being connected etc. It is a way to say, despite no longer seeing a future with you I still really value you in my life. This is of course the best case scenario. People do say it sometimes just to try to smooth over the bad news (like that ever works), or for selfish reasons, simply wanting to keep the good stuff despite not wanting to meet their needs anymore in a relationship. But imo that's less likely.Having said this you don't owe her shit and I definitely recommend taking a big step back and giving yourself time and space to heal. If she truly respects you as a person she will understand that and want what's best for you.
What's up with girls who text me first, are flirty, but when I ask them out they say they're busy, cancel last minute, and possibly ghost too?What's the point?
Is there a way to half ask someone out and half ask them if they could at least be your friend if she doesn't have a bf, but like say it in a way that doesn't fuck everything up?This is such a weird entrance point. I have to email her and tell her that I'm a friend of her ex, at this point. I thought it was okay I'd just take the risk and see what happens, but this is really, really hard... I'm not sure if she has a boyfriend or not, but I mean even then, it would be nice to talk to someone who was roughly in that old circle of friends. After all, it's an easier way to connect with someone faster who then might also know women or something instead of developing an entirely new circle...But it's so hard to write this message.Anyone have any idea how I can go about writing this possibly ill-advised e-mail?
Extroverted girls:How do you show romantic interest?
>>20793118I mean I want to get to know this girl better and I would want to ask her out, but I also would like to actually JUST hang out with her even if she... okay I guess I just want to ask her out.Fuck.Enough of this. I'm abusing /adv/.
>>20793112Attention and to see if they are still hot to get guys.They could have other reasons like found somebody better or she has a boyfriend. The thing to take away from this is to not worry about it. If you asked 2 times take that as a no and move on. Women will do this All the time.
>>20792859Hello famanons.In presence of an “more valuable man”(higher market value) who is showing interest in a girl, would she love her boyfriend/husband with the same intensity as she used to do before that “more valuable man” showed interest on her.I am in a situation where there is a dude who is richer, more confident and taller than me who seemed to have shown interest in my wife. We decided we would have our second baby soon but now that she is talking with this dude she hasn’t herself discussed about when to have baby and I am sure what her answer would be if I asked her about doing it.Please help.
>>20793102>communicating she cares about you>broke up a 4 year relationship for another guy just like thatI'm also 90% shure she has been thinking about it for a while to but didn't do it until she found somebody.
>>20793139*not sure what her answers would be
i'm a virgin with serious baggagei have the opportunity to lose my virginity but i'm fucking terrified, and it's not because i don't trust her or i'm insecure.... i don't know really... i have a deep fear of intimacy. any tips for getting over this? i'd like to go slow with this girl but i don't think she has the patience for that, so i'm thinking about just finding someone else (which won't be hard).
>>20793108Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. For a little more context, the breakup was sort of mutual in that we agreed neither of us was happy but I still felt hurt by her spring boarding to the next guy, especially because he seems like a really successful person. She has depression and some attachment issues, which I always tried to help her through and be supportive in general, but that alone of course isn't enough to sustain love/commitment. I'm just worried she's going to lump it all on this guy as a rebound in hopes that he's going to "rescue her" from her problems, and end up having it backfire on her and trying to come back to me. The cynic in me is thinking she just wants me as a safety net and emotional support, but I'm not waiting on her like I would in the relationship. I have my own goals and am pretty content on my own.
>>20793124This is really hard... ;_;Okay I'm not abusing /adv/ this is one of the very reasons I'm going to counselling.I still want a response. I mean hopefully I can get this written before then, but its taken me hours already...
GirlsWhat was the length of your longest dry spell?
>>20793177>she doesn’t have patienceIf she can’t wait for you to be comfortable with sex. Then you should dump her. She’s probably a whore.
>>20793208alrighti'll start looking for someone else
>>20793214Good.But for real. If a girl can’t wait on you to be comfortable with having sex then she is probably a whore. A nice girl would be willing to wait. Infact, this is an advantage for you because it’s a good way to test to see if a girl is nice or a slut
>be 29, female>only ever been in two relationships>never been asked out in life, had to be the person to approach>last time you instigated a relationship was asking a friend to to ask your crush if he had a gf in sophomore year of high school>can't tell if guys at work are being friendly or not>lack of self-esteem from never being asked out fucks with confidence and too afraid to flirt with anyone anymoreWhat the fuck am I supposed to do at this point, just get old and die?
>>20793218she wants sex and all i want to fall asleep on her chest while listening to her heart beat
>>20793227>>lack of self-esteem Start lifting (correctly) ie- get a personal trainer to show you what to do.
>>20793229Well she’s probably not a nice girl.
>>20793139If she actually loves him, then yes. I’ve literally had a “more valuable man” (more skills, taller, fitter, more money, objectively 8/10, etc) express clear interest in me and still had no interest myself when in the past I would have, because I love my husband and he absolutely perfect for me
>>20793093You're good.Put on some Hendrix, order a pizza, and have fun. You'll be sober by midnight.
>>20793234you're rightshe isn't
>>20793230I used to lift in my early 20s actually. That was when I was single the longest, but I was pretty happy with that at the time. Not sure what it would do for my romantic endeavors.
>>20793252It CAN help your romantic endeavors. How? Because it sounds like you have poor self esteem. Which, that alone will greatly reduce your chances of getting dates.If you start lifting and exercising at the gym regularly, you will start to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Which will improve your self esteem. So not only will you look physically better, but you will feel mentally and physically better too. It’s a win-win.
>>20792859That's a lot of mars and venus symbols.
>>20793234ugh i just asked her to hang out againwhy am i so weak
f here.Should I shave my entire head? I'm not attractive so it's not like I'll ever get a boyfriend who'd care either way. I'm just worried about the repercussions of being able to get a job and I definitely know it'd be against my family's wishes.
idk if this is just for girls to answer butIf I ask someone out, and it's a person I'll be seeing a lot.Will it be really awkward to keep seeing her if she says no?
>>20793252Improving your looks obviously would help. That's why the other anon suggested working out, I guess.Men function in a linear model, evaluating your appearance before other factors, and if that doesn't pass the test, you're shit out of luck. So first things first, you should try to look the best you can within your genetic/age/income restrictions. Bonus: you'll also feel better about yourself, as you noted from your early 20's.
>>20793284If you make a big love confession, then yes. If you just ask if there's something between you two, and if she says no you just answer that it's what you expected and were just making sure, then no.
>>20792859If a girl asks you to sing a romantic Karaoke song with her does it mean she likes you? I was at Karaoke with her and some of her friends and her two friends were up on stage singing and she looked at me and said "we should go sing a romantic song together :) " I don't know why she specified a romantic song.
>>20793284Only if you make it awkward. If it's a coworker, probably don't. If it's a class/school, do it. Awkwardness is normal and you can't just avoid seeing people. If she rejects though, at least you've made yourself known.
>>20793295lmao. If you looked up clueless in the dictionary it would have a picture of you [spoiler]if dictionaries has pictures.[/spoiler]
>>20793301I remember when I had my first beer
>>20793295Need more information to tell. Does she give you other signs? How would you describe the tone when she asked you that? Did her friends looked as if they knew something you didn't, or were they nonchalant about it? Context is important, the medium is the message.
>>20793305are you suggesting he is not clueless?
>>20793236But is not it against your rationals? Don’t you think you made a bad game decision?You are getting an upgrade for free, what is the point of not taking it?I cannot afford in my capacity to buy her mortgage free house. This guy is financially independent and live in big house owned by their parents. I am really fucking worried. What is your argument to justify that you made right decision, when it seems wrong? Love? Love only exist when other partner is ready to live up to your expectations.
>>20792980Ask her out again, nimrod.>>207932072 years, on purpose, while in a relationship>>20793278Why not just dye it, "accidentally" ruin it, then your family won't be mad about you shaving it.>It is expensive for women to do shit without social reprocussions, I know and understand.
>>20793309They were up on stage when she asked me so they didnt hear her say it. She was looking into my eyes and smiling when she said it. She had also had her hand on my arm. I was rubbing her leg with my leg too and she seemed to like it as she didnt move her leg away but at the same time she didnt really say anything specific about me rubbing her leg.
>>20793321>not fucking 2 years while in a relationshipBut why?
My gf is really affectionate with me. Always hugging me, holding my hand, doing really cute shit like that. I was physically abused as a child (though not severely, I still feel a little weird when I make physical contact with other people, so making the first move with hand holding for instance was her) so I feel like I'm being really cold towards her whenever she does that. I hug back and kiss her on the forehead, trying to be as responsive as possible. I want to do these things with her but I feel it's not the same energy despite me wanting to give off that same energy to her. How do I be more affectionate?
Guys who successfully asked out a female friend of theirs, how did you do it ? Like how did you formulate it, in what context (where, when, etc), how did you bring it up, stuff like that. Thanks
>>20793229get rid of her
>>20793331Lost attraction because they had made an empty promise to lose weight while having weight related medical issues, while already 2 years deep into the relationship. Ended up just heightening their jealousy so I dumped them.
>>20793330Okay, then there's a good chance that she's into you. Physical contact is a great sign, cause it's plausible deniability. Don't expect her to say anything about it, that's the point of it. Anyway, just escalate the next time you guys are together: sit close together, pull her close playfully and see it she doesn't pull away, lay your hand on her knee while you're talking, maybe put her legs on top of yours, hold one of her hands, etc. The trick is to do it casually and not look at where you're touching her. If she doesn't pull back, just let the conversation stop and then close in for the kiss.
>>20793229What if I told you, you can do both and not be gay?
There's an autistic weeb at my college who keeps trying to hit on a female friend of mine, and I happen to like her. Despite her telling him several times to fuck off, he'll try to make moves on her at least once a week and she's too nice to get mad at him. What should I do ? I don't want to be too defensive with her cause I'm not her bf but at the same time I'd like to help her. We already have a lot of fun laughing at this dude together
>>20793398haha you're getting alpha'd by an autistic weeb
>>20793375well I should point out that we are work colleagues kind of. We work for the same company in different departments so should I try this stuff out at lunch or should I leave ot for outside work?
>>20793398Fake being her bf with her? Start telling him everything he's doing wrong? Keep laughing it up, knuckle head?Whatever, if you want her, definitely don't emulate autismoweeb9000.
>>20793331Because she was fucking some other guy on the side.
>>20793333Check'em. Also, maybe read on the 5 languages of love and then tell her about it, so she won't feel bad that you express your feelings in other ways that aren't physical.>>20793334Would advise against it. There's a ton of women out there that you won't have to:a) Convince to see you in a different, more favourable light than she's seen you for so long, andb) Won't make your social life awkward in case she's not interested.Chances are, if this female friend of yours felt any attraction for you, you'd have known by now.My advice for now on: when you meet a girl you think is interesting, don't be friendly with her, be flirty.
Long story short: Two exchange students, live in same complex, hooked up twice. The second time she cancelled our plans at the very last minute but I basically ordered her to come, which she unironically found super hot. Anyway, it bothers me that every time I try to initiate something, she initially pulls back/refrains herself whatever but caves after I order her to. It's as if that's a part of her game idk.Couple days ago I declined an invitation for a drink saying I have other plans. She responded jokingly: "Glad to know I'm replaceable ;p". 15 min after she sent: "Sorry that was a weird message, have fun!".I responded with: "Dummy if I didn't find you attractive/unique I would have been long gone. Don't worry, you're still in my harem top ten."Do you think she'll take it as the joke that it is? Again I have no idea how to gauge her actual interest in me or how insecure she actually is. Also what's up with the command fetish?
>>20793414That was actually while I was only identifying as a cringey "triad seeking a third woman" but he was fucking hideous so I only got crazy or fat women I wouldn't/couldn't touch. I knew my potential by the end of the relationship, but I was stupid and young, needing an escape.
>>20793334It's likely not going to work because she might have already subconsciously friendzoned you but I don't think that should mean give up all hope. Ask her to get coffee (1 on 1 but don't say that. Just make sure you're alone with her). You should hang out a while as friends (1 on 1) but after the 3rd time or so find some time when she is alone and ask her out by saying "will you go out with me?" or something like that. Spoiler alert: 9 times out of 10 you will ruin your friendship if its close and she says no.
>>20793408Oh. Wow. Dude, in this case, I would recommend you just drop the case. Don't shit where you eat.
>>20793438But I should ALSO point out that she is leaving the company in the next month.
>>20793432>Do you think she'll take it as the joke that it is? Again I have no idea how to gauge her actual interest in me or how insecure she actually is.She's very attracted to you. She'll think you're only sort of joking and believe that you actually have other girls lined up. She'll be more attracted to you because of that.>Also what's up with the command fetish?Most women have a variation of this, not joking. You're being dominating, which is a masculine trait.
>>20793446Lol! Enough with the curve balls, anon!Okay, in this case, go for it, but not during work hours.
How can I get my fwb to fall in love with me? I think I'm already getting to him, and I do all the post-coitus cuddling and massaging to get that love hormone working, but I'm wondering if there's somethings more I can do.
>>20793458Good to hear a second opinion that coincides with what I instinctively feel. Do you think it's possible to push it too far though? As in, she perceives me as nigh unreachable? Out of her league so to speak, so she'll keep sort of deluding herself into thinking I'm not actually into her, making plans harder and harder? Again that insecurity of hers is a real pain. Like a monkey wrench.> Most women have a variation of this, not joking. You're being dominating, which is a masculine trait.Interesting, can you expand a little bit?
>>20793464But what about at lunch time if I'm sitting next to her in the canteen? Could I chance touching her leg with mine?
>>20793474>Do you think it's possible to push it too far though?Yes. She might run away just to avoid the potential rejection if you push it too far. Based on the limited information you gave, I'd say you're doing fine. Keep teasing and being playful, but treat her a bit nicer the day after sex. Be sure to send her at least a text.>Interesting, can you expand a little bit?Not sure what to expand, but I'll try.Humans are animals, and we're talking about what boils down to a mating dance. The human male will look for fertility cues on the human female, which are things we instinctively perceive as attractive. These are feminine traits, such as wider hips, youthful features, ample bossom, etc.The same way, the human female will look for masculine traits on the human male. These include not only the obvious physical traits, such as height and muscularity, but also behavioural ones, such as assertiveness and dominance.While many women might say that they want an equal partner, the truth that their behaviour shows is that they prefer a man who is stronger and in control.If you're interested, I suggest the book My Secret Garden, it's an interesting read.
>>20793480Sure you could. But your objective should be to get another situation like the karaoke one, outside of work. Preferably, a situation where you two can excuse yourselves from the rest of the group for a while. Or maybe you could just ask her out for drinks after work.
>>20793430Hmm that's interesting, I never saw it like that. We've been in the same friend group for a year but I've only started really talking to her 3 months ago, so idk if that's the idea of female friend you had in mind, if that changes anything. I only developed feelings for her 2 months ago so I didn't flirt with her before.>>20793437We're not close, we're just in the same friend group and we talk a few times a week. Honestly if she says no i don't really care, I've lost the ability to care about this kind of stuff so I would just act as if nothing happened I guess. I don't like the idea of going out for coffee tho, that's too ambiguous and I hate uncertainty. I think I'll ask her directly if she's interested in being more than friends
>>20793548Okay, that's good because I thought you guys were close. Honestly bro go with at least one "coffee date" (doesn't have to be coffee, something really casual though) but just by yourselves. Then ask her out another time. Doing the more-than-friends immediately is more prone to fail.
>>20793548Hm, I see. So you're acquaintances instead of friends. That can work. I'd recommend against developing feelings for girls before you have sex with them, though. That tends to blow up on your face.Anyway, I second the other anon's suggestion: ask her out for coffee or anything simple. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, it's just an excuse for you two to be alone with plausible deniability and she knows it.
>>20793569Coffee seems to be the consensus... However I don't drink coffee and she knows it. Would it be weird to ask her out for coffee knowing that I don't drink it or would it make it special that I started drinking it because of her ? Thanks>I'd recommend against developing feelings for girls before you have sex with them, thoughI don't do casual sex at all. Different cultures I guess. I'm pretty sure it's the same for her so it shouldn't be a problem>>20793565Yeah it might be better to go out once first. It's just that I like when things are staightforward and clear so playing games like that irks me. Anyways, thanks a lot anon, I'll try that
>>20793199just ask if they wanna get coffee with you. if she has a bf or just sees you as friends she'll say something (or she's oblivious af) in which case you can establish that you're down to just hang out as friends
>>20793611some girls like to play games, its just how they are, to see if you get it and know how to playis it true that the more quality a girl is gonna be the more mind games shes gonna play specially if shes in her teens
>>20793611I literally did that with my gf (also acquiantance at first). I don't drink coffee particularly, but I knew she does. We started texting a lot after coffee and we agreed to see a movie and we flirted around so a day before the movie I asked her if she will go out with me. It's okay to think differently but you don't want to go too fast. It also comes down to timing and the mood. Best of luck.
>>20793636Damn I hope it goes as well as it did for me. Thanks a lot anon>>20793633She's more of a comfy and simple kind of girl, so it should be easier. Thanks for the advice anon, I'll ask her out next week I think
>>20793636this girl and I have known each other for quite some time now, but didnt have much chance for our relationship to progress ,were both in colegge she just started when all this started hapeningshe seems to be a traditinoal rock/concert girl ,adn I was thinking of taking her to one of them but I dont know ,how do I transition from coffe dates to something like a concert ?
>>20793649as it did for you*
Looking for answers from either gender. I’ve ended a 4 year relationship about 5 months ago and I’m going to be meeting up with someone pretty soon where we will likely have sex. Now my ex was the only person I’ve slept with and honestly, I’m nervous as fuck. Any advice on this? I know someone here has been in this situation before.
>>20793656It is completely normal to feel this way. Just go in to it relaxed and go with the flow. If you show up and all you’re thinking about is the end game (sex), you’re going to be nervous and awkward, and women can feel that shit. Just go out with her and do what feels right. Don’t force it and let it flow as it will. If you don’t have sex the first date, maybe you will the 2nd or 3rd. Just relax and enjoy your time with her. Got out of a 3 year relationship myself last year. I know how you’re feeling. Good luck Anon and enjoy the feeling of new love.
>>20793614>Sees me as a friend...Would she? I don't think she knows what I look like nor has she meet me nor do I think she knows about me prior to this. My friend isn't available to vouch for me I don't think, so I kinda have to do this on my own.I just thought it was a really good bet and based on what I've seen and heard of her, she seems like a safe bet if she's interested.I got the impression she was kinda sorta part of that circle of friends, but I never met her.
>>20792859>>20792859Dropped in on one of these threads weeks ago. Curious for some general feedback this time around.27 y/o male nursing student. decently atttractive I think (6'3, long-haired ginger, normal build), nothing wack about confidence or anything NEET-ish. That being said, I am a virgin. I jumped around in school a lot between career tracks that I thought would have me moving around a lot for grad school so I always put off actively dating, I just kinda waited for the right one to come along and nothing did.Now I'm in a position where I'm interested in dating, and I have the flexibility where I can go anywhere, or stay, and can financially support myself (and provide my fair half or more in a marriage). Since I've kept the virginity to this point I want to at least be in a relationship when I lose it, since I see some value on it I wouldn't want to blow it on a first or second date or a casual encounter. How should I go about this, any general feedback? At what point do I need to address it if say it's been 2-3 dates and no sex has happened.Thanks.
>>20793669Any tips for not thinking about the implied possibility of sex?
>>20793689Just take it slow. You say that you dont want to blow it on a first or second date. The next sentence you ask about addressing the issue if it’s been 2-3 dates and no sex. Well, which one is it? Truthfully, you could probably let the other person lead, whether it’s a guy or a girl. Just go along with it. The girl I lost my virginity too tried to fuck on the second night but I couldn’t get it up due to nerves. We had a couple more dates and then I lost it. I’m glad it worked that way. Your sub conscience will let you know.
>>20793052That's a woeful description of it. Made me laugh though.
>>20793719on the addressing note I just meant I imagine if I'm not making moves at some point that would be a red-flag. I'm really hoping they'll take the lead, but if they're dependent on me to initiate and I'm not then at some point I'd need to either explain or take the lead.The most awkward impasse I would worry about is if it's been a few dates and I'm not totaly sure I would want to date the person long-term or pursue anything more and they push for sex. Addressing the issue with the last damage to the potential development of the relationship is where I come up not really sure what/how to say it.
>>20793701Hmmm. This is the tough one. You’re playing against your own mind. Don’t think of a pink elephant. What are you now thinking about?You catch my drift. Honestly just try to focus on her and show genuine interest in what she has to say. You’ll build a connection and go from there.
I am being kept as a back up for a girl I work with.How do I get over her when I need to see and talk to her every day?
>>20793675Oh fuck I sent it.I actually... Oh god fucking damn it. I actually sent it...
>>20793853fffffffffffffff CAN'T PROCESS NEED DISTRACTION
>>20793651How many coffee dates have you been on?If its more than 2-3 then I think you're good to proceed, however if you want to be a couple, ask her out first so that you're official/she knows what you want out of your friendship. If she agrees then perfect, tell her about the concert and see if she can make it then. If not, thank her and move on with your life.
>>20793472ask what they think about relationships/relationship aspects."Do you want to get married to anyone?""Do you want kids?""Would you consider dating anyone in the future?"
>>20793854calm down, retard. you'll be ok regardless of the outcome. you're just offering to hang out and have a fun time
>>20793207Bout tree fiddy(25 years)
>>20793894QuestionIf you have multiple partners at the same time, but say you are responsible about STD transmission, do you use any sort of protection when going down/ being goed down on?
So... I was making out with a girl I brought home to my house, on my bed, and she put her leg over my butt / back and I was pretty much on top of her. I was getting hard, but wasn't comfortable having sex yet, so I tried to sort of move my hips back and forth to rub into her crotch, and I'm sure if she was smiling laughing or due to it feeling good. I'm like really inexperienced with this sort of thing, any clarifying thoughts?
>>20793963I always appreciate a bit of dry humping personally, it's sexy fun without actually having to go all the way and have penetrative sex
>>20793952>being goed down onWhy are you talking like a small child?
Hey, just looking for opinions on a first date idea: canoeing.I met a girl at a party this past weekend and set up a tbd date this week. I rowed while I was I high school and am pretty comfortable of the water and figured it would be a good idea. I’m just a little afraid it might be a bit weird but she won’t want to say no, and won’t end up having fun. Any opinions help. If not there’s always coffee lol
>>20793952I'm more so responsible about consistent testing before sex, but otherwise I don't prefer to recieve oral merely due to the uti risk on myself. I've had a few guys request oral and figure out the same for themselves with testing. The main thing about making oral safe is propper hygiene, but even with that the pee holes on men and women are extremely vulnerable to spit getting in and causing uti's. Same concept that too much raw dick, even in clean couples, can cause Bactirial Vaginosis. The bigger reality about std is that they are highly less common than sexually transmitted infections. The whole shaving pubes off culture and also doing oral in combination with even condomed sex is basically a guaranteed recipie for a sti.
>>20793998Certainly takes a few options off the menu. Esp when so many posters here say that's all that works for them.The poly scene leaves a bit to be desired
>>20794082It does, but at least it has more options than monogamy where as if your partner doesn't like something it's:>get cucked out of it>cheat>or rapeI strongly suggest you just run with testing and symptom checking until you get so educated with your body that you'll know when something is wrong and when something is a uti or non lethal.I don't even want to mention how it's also possible to get staph, severe yeast infections, all from oral. Cysts are also common due to genetic acne types and those can even occur on genitals.Verse yourself in what real std's look like and you'll know better upon looking at someone else's genitals. If you don't want to, just invest in condoms, dental dams, and lube if it's your niche.
>>20794118You forgot, >Don't partner with that person, keep looking for one who matches youAs an optionAlso those things are tough to see with the lights out
>>20794136That's just me with the poly blinders on because I acknowledge that the mono philosophy of "finding one person to match your every need" is a crock of shit.By all means, keep fishing to get fringe intrests met until you see the search is mostly futile, even as chad or stacy.
Someone rape this tripfag already. She'd probably enjoy it too.
Do I have to wait or should I say fuck it?m a 25 year old virgin and about two years ago I lost a ton of weight. I started to get attention from women. I started going out all the time and being super social. I started asking out women, I even went on a few dates but no sex. I crashed really hard because my grandfather who raised me died and it really fucked me up. I started drinking alone every night. Quit showing up to work. Started living alone. Started eating bad shit every day. Here I am two years later and Ive gained all my weight back. One of the girls I asked out back in the day is trying to reconnect with me because Ive slowly started coming back out and posting on social media. she wants me to come over and she wants to go to stores with me and stuff. I am just now getting my shit back together. When she knew me I was 70 pounds lighter and very confident and not a drunk. Should I let this pass and just work on getting back to a healthy weight and getting my life back before persuing women again or should I just be honest with this girl and say Im willing to try but Im not the guy you knew?Sorry for long post.
>>20794336Just go see her. Don't "warn" her or anything. Yeah you've changed a lot. It might not make a difference if she's really into you as a person.For what it's worth, you two years ago was me 12 years ago. Then my grandfather died, I got rejected by the girl I thought I loved, and I completely stopped exercising, eating well, and going out and having fun. Opportunities were there but I ignored them and avoided them. I hid.from everyone.It took me 8 years to really start coming out of my shell again, and by that time I'd put on 100 lbs. I regret waiting so long, but I don't let it keep me awake at night. Neither should you.
>>20794381Alright Ill go hangout with her. I appreciate it. Thank you its good to know other people have had similar experiences.
>>20793994Canoeing is neat, but it depends a lot on the girl. Also, you have to remember the uncomfortable situation that can occur if you stray too far off, being alone in some random woods on a canoe sets some scary implications, especially if you are physically intimidating to begin. I'm mostly saying this because you are here on 4chan asking doe advice. If you act too autistic, you risk putting that fear into her, which is the last thing you want. If you are a normal functioning social being, she likely wont get that idea, but it's just worth remembering that you are putting her into a situation where you can very easily kill her with little effort. And she knows this.
>adding "looking for a future husband. I want kids, preferably 2, and preferably soon." to my tinder profile near the end.>Literally everybody, even the guys who previously showed interest and claimed to be looking for someone to spend the rest of their life with, instantly ghosted me, and I am getting no responses now Kek. This was just the fix I needed. Really shows what people use tinder for. Actual LARPing for people who want their dick wet, any pretense for anything else is all lies and deceit. It's kind of pathetic. Tinder seems to have ruined most men. Sex is easy to get, so they don't want to settle, and just want to fuck around. Really unfortunate, because it makes it really hard to find any good ones left. Really sad the culture have changed in this way. I really sympathize with you guys here looking for someone more "pure". Even if this was never the norm, it has just become so awful common that it just seems like you need to win the lottery to get anybody good.
>>20794476Golden bait, monitoring
Help me out /adv/. This guy who lives in my building talks to me a lot in the hallway even though we don't have any classes or clubs in common. Is he just being really friendly or is there a chance that he is in to me? I'm a 6/10 at best I think, but people say I have a cute laugh so maybe he was charmed? Should I ask him to get coffee or something next time I see him or should I just hope he asks me?
>>20794487I wish. I know the guys here feel the same, hence why I posted it here. It's just such a different culture out there.
>got raped as a kid >got counselling for a solid 10 years >26 now, and still for the life of me, I cannot take any step towards being intimate >I can flirt extremely heavily, make obvious remarks hinting at sex, and clearly clustering someone>but the second it gets too close, I just fall apart. >happened way too many times now, and it just gets so bad that I just hide from the individual forever if possible, and can't even bring myself to text him back.>My old psychologist stopped our sessions citing "I can't do more", so I doubt she would be of any further help. >outside of the rape, I have been a kissless virgin How the hell do I overcome this? I lose my mind whenever I get close to a guy, and I outright feel insane when it happens, like I can barely remember what or why I acted like I did. I wish this was at least just guys, but this literally happens even with girlfriends. I just want to forcibly fix this at this point, but I don't know if I even can anymore. Is there really a risk that I am permanently damaged?
>"I only want your cock!"My girlfriend actually has a curved cervix, it's curved to the right side, she found out from a medical examination. My penis is very, pronouncedly curved to the left. It's about 8.5 inches fully erect, my girlfriend has frequently told me that my penis is one of the most attractive things about me. We literally met 9 months ago from a dating app when I sent her a picture of my dick out of the blue. We've never fucked anyone except each other. We've both talked about how happy we are that her vagina is curved to the right and my cock is curved to the left, it's like our bodies fit together like jigsaw pieces. I feel like no pussy ever made me cum harders than hers has, just thinking about all the sex we've had is making me hard again. Is it weird that when she shouted out those words as I fucked her, "I only want your cock!" I almost felt like the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me? We had recently gotten into an argument, probably both of us went on the dating apps to see what was out there (I know I did). But in the end we met up again, had crazy make up sex all weekend and everything was better again.
>>20794476Why in the everloving fuck would you look for decent people that want something more than a quick fuck on dating apps. This is coming from someone that met their so online, but in a different environment.
>>20794490Are you female? If you are female and he's talking to you, he's interested.Ask him on a date, use the word date.
Ghosting is so fucking rude and hurtful.Yeah alright, if you've never actually met in person and all your interaction has been online then ghosting is somewhat acceptable. But if you've met in person, even if was just once, even just briefly, and even if it went terribly, you should have the decency to tell the other person you don't want to see/speak to them anymore and why.Most people can agree on this, but they still do it anyway.My question is to both males and females; why do YOU personally ghost?
>>20794536On principle I never ghost people but I know exactly why they do itIt's easier."Breaking up" (even with someone you haven't really invested anything in) is awkward, uncomfortable and it burns a bridge.If you just ignore them, you don't have to feel even slightly uncomfortable and as a bonus you can just pick them up later if you change your mindModern society is all about avoiding any form of hardship or responsibility, why is it a surprise people try to avoid those in their dating strategies?
>>20794529not weird, kind of adorable. good luck dude
>>20794518As a nurse who sometimes deal with rape victims, this is strikingly common. Even kids as young as 12 can have this sort of behavior, so I am often their main point of contact, rather than the (male) doctors. They just act overly sexual, but just have a suddenly breakdown once things start to escalate, which can be from things as simple as a hug. I believe the general consensus is that you are trying to force it despite a deep rooted fear, rather than let it affect you as normal, basically meaning you are being flirtatious instead of afraid. The end result, unfortunately, is the same.No real advice other than go find a new psychologist, or better yet, get a Psychiatrist on it. There are some good anxiety meds that help alleviate the main issue you have, which has very few side effects.
>>20794536>My question is to females; why do YOU personally ghost?I ghost if the guy makes a misstep so insanely obvious, that it is clear he is either trying to scare me off, or is both too autistic and immature to have a relationship. One can be unsolicited dick pics, clearly offensive remarks, racism, chauvinism, feminism, or a similar "no rational and mature person would ever do this" kind of thing. And I am not talking low tier and harmless stuff, I am talking "the world would be better if we burned all niggers". Some things are just not acceptable, and it doesn't even matter whether I agree with the general message or not, you just don't say that kind of thing. It makes you seem like an asocial psychopath, and that's not the sort of person I would want to formally turn down in person.
hey /adv/, i got a question. My gf recently got an orbiter that's commenting on all her instagram posts and snapchat stories. that's all well and good and on it's own doesn't bother me at all. What did bother me was the orbiter calling her a cumslut when commenting on a picture posted while we were out on a date most recently. If anyone said that out loud in public to her or my mom, other female friends, whomstvever, I'm throwing hands. She brushed it off, commented back "bad post op" and didn't think much about it. I don't know anything about the person who said this to her other than they have her social. Obviously I want to kick this guys ass and if I knew who called her that, it's on sight. She doesn't care much and think's i'm thinking too much about it.Am I right to be mad? Should she be MORE mad than not at all?
>>20794586You're right to be mad, but...This is just common rude behavior. She is your girlfriend, and she is on Instagram, that's enough of a reason for some angry and bitter virgins to go crazy like that. You learn to deal with it as a woman, and it sounds like she is just brushing it off, not letting the words of an idiotic stranger get to her. I get your anger, but it's just not worth getting riled up over. They do it to get a reaction, feeding that cry for attention will only make them keep going.
I know asexuality is viewed as a meme on here, but is it even vaguely possible for a male with almost zero sex drive to maintain a relationship?Handjobs & blowjobs do almost nothing for me and benis in vagina makes me just incredibly stressed out, uneasy and unable to relax. I’m willing to do extensive amounts of foreplay, fingering and oral to at least somewhat satisfy my partner, but when it comes to my own pleasure I just don't care because I don’t derive much from it. Cuddling, hugs, kisses, genuine signs of affection just seem way more meaningful and enjoyable to me. And I feel like a gigantic autist thinking this, but that's how it is. Somehow I managed to attain a gf, but she constantly brings up the need for sex and I'm starting to think that she values just a fug above everything else. I get that sex is important in a relationship, but it feels just so tiresome if I have to brute-force myself thru it.
>>20794698Sex is one of the most important things in a relationship. CommunicationAttractionSexTrustMutual HobbiesChemistryRomance - I'd say that these are the most important factors to a relationship. HOWEVER, asexuality isn't completely uncommon, I would look for a like minded partner, or a girl with a low drive.But keeping it working with your current girl? Sure sounds like an absolute no. She probably doens't even want sex all that often but to someone who has zero desire it seems frivolous. Do her and you a favor and break up, and be more up front and HONEST - aka COMMUNICATE with your next partner, you wouldn't be in this mess if you'd have been more honest with yourself and with her.
>>20794518>How the hell do I overcome thisHonestly, every situation is different for every individual. Ive never dealt with anything remotely similar to what you’re going through, but as someone else who has struggled with some of their own shit, got passed it, and tried to help other people dealing with the similar, I can definitely say that, unfortunately, the same path does not necessarily always work across different people. Different people have different circumstances and different ways of coping, which means sometimes they need completely different solutions.Even if they’ve been through exactly what you’ve been on here, no one on here is really going to be able to tell you how to get past this, because their way may not remotely at all work for you.The only way you find that really is to struggling and fighting to find a path for yourself. What us outsiders can do is to let you know that you’re not alone in this, that it *is* possible to get past this (my girlfriend did. And her situation was preeetty fucking bad), and to hopefully share some stories that help you connect and feel like you can see some shred of light at the end of the tunnel.Getting over shit like this is painful and hard a stick, but as someone who has met and truly cared about a number of people who have done it, the one thing I can say, is that when you *do* get past this, you’ll be a much stronger and much more resilient and rich individual overall.Good luck. Even if it feels like you’re broken and lost, Keep fighting. As long as you’re alive, that means your still here and still able to find a way out. I honestly feel kinda cheesy and ingenious writing that out, because I feel like I have no proper words to express my sincerity, but truly, best of wishes.
Went on a first date with a girl and we hit it off fantastically! Everything went absolutely perfectly and we were already planning for a second date the following week (she lives an hour away). She was definitely into me a lot and we were constantly texting/snapping. The date was friday evening and she texted me some Saturday and then completely started ghosting me. I havent spoken to her since. Any reason on why you would do this ladies? Only thing I can think of is shes talking to someone else (although she claimed she isnt on the date. Literallywent out of her way to bring that up). Normally I wouldnt care but I was super into her and this is just leaving me with a shitty feeling in my gut now. I was probably going to ask her what I did wrong or something if I dont hear from her by friday. I just really actually finally found someone I enjoyed and this shit happens..
>>20794763Have you tried to get in touch with her? Anyway, she might just be busy. People have real lives to take care of during the week.
>>20794770I texted her sunday morning with just a hey, good morning kind of text and never got a reply. I assumed she might have just been busy but now I am overthinking and I dont want to initiate conversation first again and seem overwhelming or clingy
>>20794777Well stop overthinking it. Just shoot her a text along the lines "so, how about that second date?" Most likely she's a typical woman and waiting for you to make a move, probably worrying that you aren't into her after all. You'll die of old age waiting for things to happen, take some initiative. If she doesn't respond to a direct questions about a date, then that's that, shes not interested, and you can move on.
>>20794795Ill give this a try. I appreciate it. I know I am definitely overthinking and thats my buggest enemy.
>>20794476>Sex is easy to get, so they don't want to settle, and just want to fuck around.This is only true for those who dating apps work, AKA the great to top tier men who look good, are tall and have good bodies. Average and homely men have even harder time finding either relationship or sex nowadays than in the past which ironically leads to bitterness and resentment against women.
i'm totally not into this girl at all but she's trying to fuck me and i keep asking her out as a joke but i'll never sleep with her haha life is fun
How come I'm the only one who puts effort into my relationship? Like, if I don't message her, or make plans she would happily just not talk to me or do anything with me. But every time I initiate a conversation with her and/or make plans for us, she'll talk my ear off and show a lot of interest, and will have a fun time with me when we go out. I would suspect she wants me as an orbiter, but she always fucks me/sucks my dick after our nights out.Is she interested in me or not?
>>20793052We have like no sex toys tho
Question for other dudes.So I want to start socialising more, and thinking about joining a football team or water polo or whatever. How easy is it to join and be accepted by the group if you join on your own? If I had literally one friend to join with me it would be much less daunting.
>>20794937who gives a shit lol you're a man do whatever you want
>>20794946Well, the purpose is to make friends. Are they just going to see me as a loser and bully/ignore me if I join on my own?
>>20794949>Are they just going to see me as a loser and bully/ignore me if I join on my own?yesgive up before you even start
>>20794949No, just go and have fun but if it looks like it's too cliquey after sone tine it might be hard to penetrate into the ingroup
did i fuck up or something?>be talking to girl i used to know on messenger a few times>talking last week and and she has to go to bed>been saying hey a couple days apart since>hasnt been responding>only thing i can think of that i did that might ve spergy is last we talk she was going to sleep so i put a kiss emoji when i said good nighttheres no way that would have put her off that much right? i mean sometimes she gets really busy.
>>20795021spend more time with her and then you'll realize what an awful cunt she is and then you will immediately lose interest
My girlfriend is not a very good listener. I keep telling her that im very tired after work and I dont have the energy or am in the mental space for sex. However. I am always horny in the mornings. I dont get to work until around 12pm and I get home around 8. She's never interested in morning sex yet she's accusing me of not being interested in her. I keep reminding her how often I try to get in her pants in the morning but she just ignored it. Is it a uniquely female trait to want things at the most inopportune times?
>>20795053fuck her bro it's your duty as a manlove is a chore mate deal with it
>>20795053>Is it a uniquely female trait to want things at the most inopportune times?Said the guy who wants sex in the morning.
>>20795053Take coffeine if you must, be ready in the evening when she wants it.Anything else is not a battle you are going to win.
Guys, is it bitchy/needy to tell your fiance you want him to do something special for you soon? The past couple years I've tried to surprise him all the time with cute stuff like making his favorite desserts/foods and bringing it into his work, planning cool dates, etc. I have genuine fun doing it but I noticed he hasn't done stuff like that for me in quite a while. I'm not mad or want to fight because it probably hasn't even crossed his mind, I just wanna bring a bit of attention to it.
>>20795129No, not at all.J U S T. T E L L. H I M.
>>20795071>love is a chore mate aint this the fucking truth
My GF of about 4 months and I have a really good relationship, but every time we have a conversation about work/study ethics and time management we get in an argument. On this occasion it was:>I mention how good exercise makes me feel and how it would help her with a medical condition she has (increased risk of clots)>she says she literally doesn't have time>literally the only thing she has to do all day is the occasional 3 hour work shift and a holiday college assignment I could finish in a single day>not even exaggerating, I could finish it in like 2 hours and get an A and I'm not even very smart>she's been working(?) on said assignment all month>sends me like 10 selfies of her a day where she's just lying in bed or on her phone>meanwhile I'm busting my ass at full time college, working 30 hours a week and exercising 4 days a week>she gets all indignant and mentions that she isn't as 'good' as me and will do exercise when she's less busy>this pisses me off MASSIVELY but I try not to show itWhat can we do here? I don't want to let her get away with such blatant bullshit and laziness and just want her to start looking after her health, but by the same token it also makes me an asshole and trying to be controlling. Is there any happy resolution to this?
How to know if a girl is romantically interested in your or just want your attention?
>>20795201Bit of the same situation here mate. No solution though. One thing I'd like to mention though is that laziness is kind of a bad word, rather it's about not being motivated. So the source lies deeper, internally. But idfk. On the other hand you're certain to always have the upper hand/more value in the relationship. That's a double edged plus in my book
Do girls like muscular men? Should I start working out? I don’t care about health though, I just like smoking and coffee and just browsing (usually job-related to enrich my skillz).
>>20795223Basically what I'm looking for is a way of motivating her without damaging her self esteem more than it already is. I could mention how attractive I'd find her exercising, but then she's just going to get hurt because I don't find her attractive for sitting on her ass all day
>>20795239Aye I know exactly what you're saying. Current girl also has big insecurity issues. Honestly it's a massive goddamn pain innit. Are there ways to "Inception" her brain? Trick is to make it come from her, be her idea. It can be something really small that indirectly ties into better health shit
>>20795238Why the fuck would you pick up any hobby to attract girls? Should you actually meet someone thanks to it, do you even picture yourself explaining to that person that you aren't interested or even having fun practicing your shit?
>>20792859>>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?>>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.https://sites.psu.edu/siowfa16/2016/10/21/does-height-make-you-more-attractive/And there's plenty more studies to prove otherwise
>>20795246The problem is that aside from this bullshit she's a very high quality girl and very unique and special to me. Now that I've mentioned it I have no idea how to unpoison her against exercise. The thing that really makes me lose my cool is when she says she has no time, because that is such a blatant lie it makes my head spin. I think I might change my usual workout time to when we're normally hanging out at her/my place, and just go for a fucking run and tell her she can come if she wants. Of course this will inevitably lead to her going very slowly and feeling sick by the end, and feeling like she's slowing me down, which will just put her off it again. Fuck this makes my head hurt. I just don't want her to die at 40...
>>20795256Working out is not a hobby they say, it’s hygiene just like brushing teeth.
>>20795273I feel you but again I think it's important that you're not the one giving her the idea that she has to exercise. It has to come internally from her. If you do it that only breeds resentment. Honestly I'd shut up about it and look for some subtler ways of convincing her. Basically by showing her, not talking to her about it.
>>20795296LolWomen let themselves get fat when they're in a comfortable relationship. It gets 10x worse if they have kids. No man wants a fat wife. Women should take better care of themselves. I don't care for excuses.
>look in a mirror>guess I don't look so bad>see a picture of myself/take one>jesus christ who is that ugly creaturewhy is this and is there hope even though picture is how others see me
>>20795298>>20795296I have subtly mentioned that I'd leave her if she gets fat, but mainly because that indicates a lack of self control and self love. But the thing is she isn't gaining weight; I just want her to not get a fucking blood clot or die young.
>>20795298Well yeah I mean the more OP works out by himself the more insecure fattie will become. Hopefully up to the point where she has to get off her ass and work on herself or lose her man.OP should be ready to cut it though
GirlsHow can I get a 40 year old girlfriend like her
Said I'd take a girl out when I had time. She left it on seen.How many of you guys would take that as a rejection?Asking because I'm torn on whether to just move on or not.
>>20795309it depends how long it has been since she saw it. Maybe she was busy. Wait 24 hours. If she doesn’t respond within that time then she’s not very interested
>>20795309These days lagging reply is a sign of disinterest, if it's not within minutes you can already write that girl off as a loss.
>>20795313>>20795319Was round last night she saw it.Honestly though, I thought the date we went on went badly(I wasn't my usual charming self) but she still stayed at mine. I'm thinking maybe I was just a guy she wanted to bang for curiousity's sake.So yeah, fuck it, I think its best I move on now with some dignity instead of in a few weeks when I have more stress to deal with.
>>20795263And those small variances mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.It might have a statistic impact, but it has no significance on what any individual girl prefers.
>>20795326You banged her?
>>20795331Yeah, for ages.
why would you fuck a girl that doesn't care about you and just wants to sleep with you out of curiosity? have some respect for yourselves
>>20795335This.It’s not worth the risk of STDs
>>20795333I reckon ahe might have recently broken up and just wanted to experiment or something.>>20795335I didn't know at the time.I was surprised time and time again that night about how she wouldn't say no to anything, or stop me when I escalated despite the fact there were numerous awkward silences where she'd just look at me and not continue the conversation.I think I'm not gonna do the first date fucking shit anymore after this. If I was a girl I'd be well into roastie territory by now.
>>20795348~I even asked her if she wanted to come back to mine in a jokey, "it would be rude if I didn't at least offer" kind of way after she asked if I was from round the area we went on the date to.
>>20795348Be smart. Stop having sex within the first few weeks. Don’t risk the STDs man. There was a femanon the other day who posted a picture of her pussy here and she has red bumps around it. She got herpes and she said it was unbearable
>>20795330>On average girls like these types men, here are studies>>NU UH DOESN'T MEAN A THING INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE AND SHIT
Ok so here is the deal Anons, bear with me.Long story short: Two exchange students, live in same complex, hooked up twice. Fucked on the first 'date'. The second time she cancelled our plans at the very last minute but I basically ordered her to come, which she unironically found super hot. By all accounts and experiences she is or should be very into me.But whenever I try to initiate something, she initially pulls back/refrains herself whatever but caves after I order her to. It's as if that's a part of her game idk.Couple days ago I declined an invitation for a drink saying I have other plans. She responded jokingly: "Glad to know I'm replaceable ;p". 15 min after she sent: "Sorry that was a weird message, have fun!". Did I mention she's massively insecure? I responded with: "Dummy if I didn't find you attractive/unique I would have been long gone. Don't worry, you're still in my harem top ten."Five-ish days after I invited her to do something but she already had plans: "...you'll have to invite someone else of your harem x"Correct me if I might be wrong, but it feels as if she's playing hard to get because she has this perceived image of me as a pimp-god. Should I let this one sail because it doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.Also what's up with the command-fetish?
I feel like I'm always the one in my relationship making plans to see each other. I'm not fussed about having to ask but is this a sign that I'm too clingy / wanting to spend too much time together? We see each other once or twice a week on average for reference.
For the guys:How often do you masquerade as a femanon on this board?
>>20795362Just stop and see if they are even slightly botheredIf not you are getting kekked
>>20795365Why would someone go on the internets and tell lies?
>>20795365Only in blacked bait threads.
>>20795358Did you know that if you wait to have sex until you’re in a relationship with someone it eliminates so much drama and confusion?>>20795365Probably like once every other week
>>20795365neveri do masquerade as a chad though. i'm very good at it.
To femanon's,Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 5 months now and it everything has been well. We ended up getting together 3 weeks after she divorced her man of 7 years or so. I know that this was a very big portion of her life, and I want her to be open with me about things but she does talk about her divorce and why she left him a lot with me.Like its 7 years I get it she is probably gonna keep talking about him for a while now. I don't wanna sound like a dick though but is there a timeframe for when he won't be like a reoccurring topic that keeps on being brought up? Like Ill listen to what she has to say, and I get it that is like 1/4 of her life that she feels bitter about, and she isn't ignoring me but yesterday he just kept on coming up in convo and well I am just curious how long does it usually take for someone to kinda move on from that? Am I not dicking her hard enough?
>>20795383>me and my girlfriend My girlfriend and I>7 years is a long timeYes it is>3 weeks after divorce we started datingAlright so, I think maybe she just hasn’t fully moved on. It just seems really quick to go from being married for 7 years to 3 weeks later having a new boyfriend. To me, it sounds like after being with someone for so long, the short short time she was single was a lot for her, so she needed to be in another relationship
>>20795383Yeesh, disclaimer: not a femanon, but I'd give it another month or two (maybe when you're on vacation or something) and gently but assertively drop on her that you would appreciate it if she didn't bring him up anymore. Then again that might also backfire into you coming off as needy/insecure,... Although that then depends on the way you say it.
>>20795355Actually if this is the last girl I'm gonna fuck outside a serious relationship, I may as well see if she'll come over again this weekend.Another seen message can't hurt that bad.Man I'm such a genius.
Why do grown women start acting like retards and teens when they crush on someone? I fucking hate it and it puts me off, because it feels like I'm being teased. For example, a girl I used to date was staring at me for about 15 minutes at a bar, and I caught her doing it. But instead of owning up to it, she just avoided me for months, unable to look into my eyes when I'm right in front of her. What the fuck?
>>20795398That doesn’t make sense>>20795399Guys do the same thing. If you really crush on someone hard, you scare yourself thinking “I will mess up” or “I’m not good enough for them”.
>>20795404Just wanna try get muh D wet one last time before I commit to being a decent human being.
>>20795404>Guys do the same thing. If you really crush on someone hard, you scare yourself thinking “I will mess up” or “I’m not good enough for them”.I for one don't. Because that's how life is wasted.
>>20795407What if you get an STD because she hooked up with someone else since the last time you saw her?>>20795412Ok, but it happens to a lot of people
>>20795415She wasn't on birth control so I reckon she'd make them wear a condom too.The one we used did break, and she didn't seem to care much so who knows.
>>20795415Well, I accept that. It's not so much that I blame her for it, it's just that it's what made me move on to fall in love with someone else. So she constructed her own misery.
>>20795393Yeah thats kinda what I thought too and sometimes I think the same thing but I dunno time will tell I guess. Though I it sounded like the relationship was dead about 2 years before the divorce and she was essentially single for a while. He apparently shit the bed pretty hard in the relationship and slept in a separate room for the last 18 months or so.>>20795396Well its not that I don't want him to be brought up anymore that would be kinda silly. I just would prefer it if he wasn't being brought up so often. Seldom times it feels like she is comparing the two of us and I would rather stand on my merit then be foiled by that shitbag.
>>20795420You know condoms don’t protect you from herpes, syphilis, and warts right? Also, those diseases can be transmitted even when there are currently no symptoms.>condom brokeJesus that’s scary. What brand was it and how did it break? I have no idea how condoms break. Where was the break on it?>>20795422>she constructed her own miseryOh yeah that happens all the time.
>>20795356Actual brainlet you are. Averages means absolutely fuck all for how any individual think. That's what OP means. Any given girl can have a slew of preferences you will never be able to "estimate". Even if slightly above average amount of girls prefer a taller guy, but the small difference means absolutely nothing in terms of the amount of girls you meet. Statistically speaking, even if you tally up every single guy you have tried to ask out, you could still realistically have nothing but girls that prefer guys who are on the shorter side, without it being even remotely statistically unlikely. Sure, if you ask out a statistically significant amount of girls, you'll start to see the preferences matter... except then you would not care about the slight difference in preference, because you would already have found someone by then. Not to mention the statistic is retarded by design, due to failing to at all account for what makes someone a good partner. Height is an attractive feature. One of thousands. Just because height has a small statistical advantage, doesnt mean it will ever affect your outcome.Unless you are such a tiny brainlet who keeps going for girls he knows will care about height, like the tinder whores who has a fucking height requirement stated in their bio.
>>20795399Do they? Must be nice to be so alphachad that women go crazy over you.
>>20795425Ok. Just be careful tho. Take this relationship slow. Don’t get serious (marriage and all) until you know she is fully over her marriage. Her mind may be confused right now because of the rapid changes.
>>20795426I had to put it on whilst doing like 3 other things so I reckon I didn't properly pinch the hat, causing it to pop.
the gf is losing interest and i'm actually relievedshe's no good for methank u, next
>>20795434How the fuck does that happen? I put a condom under the sink once and it filled more than a liter of water and it didn’t pop.What brand? This makes me paranoid as fuck now
>>20795438Yeah it’s because she’s not a nice girl
>>20795442how'd you know it's me
>>20795429>we show in this study that x% of women like [feature you lack] and don't consider those who lack it proper partner material>we here at FuckApp estimate over x% of women reply most to men who are above [rating you don't fall in]>undergrads here on Vagina University managed to show that these two requirements overlap>>>>but you still don't need to worry lol world has 3,5 billion women in it :^)
>>20795439I got it free from a sexual health clinic.Dunno the brand.It's not the first time though
>>20795430I don't even consider myself chad. I'm forward when I need to be, but only when I catch the signs. Even then I'm quite careful and plan my approaches ahead of time, so there's less risk of fucking up. But I am damn good at talking to women and they often crush on me too.With this girl, she almost walked into a wall trying to get my attention one time. But it was too fucking late at that point. Stupid cunt.
>>20795445Because you don’t like nice girls for some reason >>20795452That’s terrifying desu. If that happened to me I honestly don’t think I could have sex ever again
>>20795433Slow is my middle name.While I have dated women in the past this is probably the most serious relationship I have had so far in my life. I know its new territory for me and I would like to go about it with a ok head on my shoulders despite my inexperience. She says she wants me to move in sometime in august and I am not gonna lie, trying to set a date about that is quite daunting and I may just tell her I am not ready. I would hate to move in early and fuck the relationship up.
>>20795453I have never even catched a sign so there's that.
>>20795457I'm still clean so it doesn't matterAnd I'm still black so the kids wouldn't matter either way.
>>20795201Just fuck her rougher and in more strenuous positions so she could at least get some yoga in.>>20795399>>20795407Buy a hooker, don't break a heart.
>>20795482Those weren't samefags you were replying to.
If I tell her I don’t want a relationship because I’m trying to experience reunion with god and practice my sadhana will she be upset?
>>20795490No she will understand.
>>20795490No.People have chosen to stay out of relationships for far less. Romantic Relationships are a choice and despite the desperate pull inside of us sometimes to enter one its important to remember they are optional.
Weird hypothetical question anons:If you already factually responded to her question half an hour earlier, but you come up with a witty response 30 minutes later, is it retarded to send it afterwards - add it on? Better to just not or..?
>>20795461She probably wants to move in because 1. She feels weird not living with someone2. She hates the idea of being a divorceeOne of my friends did the same thing. He got divorced after an 8 year marriage because his wife cheated on him. 2 months later he met a girl on TINDER and he told her after a month he wanted to marry her. They are getting married in October. I talked with him a lot about that and he sounded so desperate to find another woman
>>20795487Either one of ya'll need to grow up and acknowledge anxiety as the most diagnosed mental illness. Neither of those posts were healthy.
GirlsHow do you know when a relationship is doomed?I have a really good girlfriend. She’s been very good to me and I’ve been good to her. I have 0 complaints about her. The problem is she is my first relationship. It’s not that I want to see other girls (I don’t) but I don’t know what I want. Particularly one thing I really don’t know is marriage. I grew up on a broken family so marriage is a negative word to me. However, I know it’s something gf wants. We have talked about this. She is very aware that I’m not sure if I will ever want to get married one day. So is there anything I should do?
>>20795499Ah i hope not but who knows you might be correct.I don't wanna be a product circumstance I would rather just be valued as a good dude. We will see. Thankyou for your input I appreciate your time anon.
>>20795518I already did what you said not to do with that post.Now I'm just aiming for seconds really.
>>20795533That’s why I suggest you keep things really slow. Like with that August move in, i’d definitely wait maybe another year. You said you’ve only been dating 5 months. So I think if you wanted to wait another year or so before moving in that would be acceptable. It also would be a good test because if she is very displeased about it and becomes pushy, that could show you some underlying issues
>caught girl from my university eyeing me during lessons>tries to sit near my group of friends, but her female friend always comes up with excuses to avoid this>the few times I've texted her she took quite some time to reply(this is also my fault to some degree because I don't know of what else we could talk about aside study related stuff)>the only times we manage to talk is usually when no one else is around, gets very talkative once I start the conversationThere are so many mixed signals that it almost feels like deciphering the fucking Enigma Machine. Should I straight up ask her to do something(such as studying together and maybe turn that into something more) or what?
AnyoneAm I responsible for my friend’s divorce? >be me>hang out with my friend and his wife together>they are both cool>I travel a lot and I’ve been single my whole life>they often ask me about travels >sometimes My friend would vent to me over Xbox when they have arguments and what not>he said that his wife sometimes gets jealous at my “bachelor life”>although it wasn’t a real bachelor life because I wasn’t hooking up with girls.>I was just single and travel.>I never have sex>anyways>a while later find out my friend caught his wife cheating>she said she wanted to know what it was like to be “single again”>they get divorced >she says how she wants to travel and be freeI feel like this is my fault
Am in a picklewere both in college, been seeing each other lately were physical but no sex "yet",she has a boyfriend (from LDR highschool) and judging from how shes acting with me she isnt attracted to him anymore and broked up with him mentally already if shes metting me and allowing me to escalate by kissing her neck and keeps coming back for more, what should I do, just push for sex or be neutral and wait for her to do somehting or say something, I can see shes falling hard for me but doesnt wanna show it too much, like giving me lust looks while im talking to her ?
>>20795626based no conscience poster
Can woman lose interest in a man really that quickly? I don't know whether I should be still trying or not. When I try to contact her I usually get those cold answers like yeah, okay and it ends on that note if I don't think of something, but then all of a sudden she texts me one day why didn't I join our group to go to a bar or something. Talking to her also leads to nowhere but I want to talk to her and she seems not happy about me not talking to her. It's fucking weird.
>>20795661>Can woman lose interest in a man really that quicklyYes. It is why Allah ordered them to stay home.
>>20795626Go for another girl.The lady your kissing on is garbage. You don't want to be garbage either do you anon?
>>20795661How old is this woman? Maturity has a lot to do with it. Girls in there early 20's are usually emotionally flighty when it comes to new people in there life, for better or for worse.
>>20795695>Girls in there early 20's are usually emotionally flightyYou can also describe it as the cock caroussel and then settle down with some beta fag in late 20's or early 30's
>>20795689the bro code, hmm more like the cuck code
>>20795703Your point is moot if she hasn't actually had sex with the dude
>>20795732No you fucking idiot, it's the logical fucking move even before you onsider any moral questions or conscience or empathy. If the dumb cunt cheats with your stupid ass, then the chances are she will cheat on you next. God you're retarded.
>>20795739>this dude is so boring>oh hey look Chad just texted
>>20793533I went to her department today and surprised her with some cookies as I know she likes them. She asked me if I'm busy on Saturday and if I'd like to join her and her friends for some drinks on Saturday. Is this good?
>>20795749Considering what op wrote, you're not making any sense since she's still showing interest.
>talking one on one with girl, apart from our friend group>find out we're both going to the same uni, she says ''oh we'll be able to see each other then''>talking about hobbies, she says ''when I think about it, I do nothing on weekends...'' She said both of these things with a bit of an embarassed smile on her face. Was she implying something that I'm too autistic to understand ? That was a month ago and I wonder if I let an opportunity slide
>>20795695She is 20. Also no, we didn't have sex as we just went on few dates, I told her I like her, she told me she likes me and doesn't want to lose me, yet she seems very cold when I talk with her whenever we are in a bigger group
>>20795732>>20795689>cuck code>bro codeNo you fucking moron. Your asking to get involved with a cheating slut, your best options are literally bang her and ghost her hardcore leaving her out to dry or find some other chick. There are more fish in the sea you dumb piece of shit.
>>20795745im not gonna go into detail but i can deffinitelly see shes holding back for like a kiss on the lips ,I have been the agressor her not her so shes not a whore or cheater, if she were she wouldve had sex with me after the first dateI never really revelead my intentions well i did it physically but not verbally so she still trying to figure out if I want a relationship or just sex
>>20795772Good job being a manipulative human trash.
>>20795759>she told me she likes me and doesn't want to lose me>just went on a few dates>20Ah I would stay involved with her but at a distance at best. You could just literally ask her what her intentions are and if she actually wanted a relationship or not. If she dosen't respond move on lmao your not missing much.>>20795772You are clearly a sociopath just like your rest of your family anon.
>>20795779why is he manipulativeits clear if shes showing interest in the guy and is looking for something new, her old relationship is already dead, shes just looking for a excuse to leave, is just competition even for the jobs in the world every guy is gonna have competition even in dating
>>20795497Depending on how good the joke is you can add - shit, missed my chance to say xyz. Particularly if you know the person well or you have good chatting chemistry.Don't do this for just mildly funny replies.
>>20795795>why is he manipulativeBy setting up the situation where cheating takes place, Mr. Samefag. Nit that the dumb cunt is any less to blame by going along with it and actually agreeing to a long distance relationship.
>>20795795>>20795819I think they are both shitty people to be honest
So uh I asked a girl I made out with last weekend if she wanted to hang out on Thursday and she's excited to do so, the thing is, idk what she's expecting. I'd honestly be fine with it being either casual hanging out or making out / sex. We're both somewhat shy people so idk how to go about clarifying it either. Girls, what would you be expecting?
>>20795819>>20795829I cant help it ,I like her too much, she did say that we should grab lunch after clearly knowing my intentions and not saying "lets just be friends", maybe she just wants to get a better fell for me before getting the guts to end her previous chapteraslo highschool relationships almost always fail and I think i found a prime example here + being LDR
>>20795862Why are you making excuses for your behaviour?
>Lets go on a date"Bitch when""Are you on acid again">When are you back in the city?"like a month from now">Aight let's go on a date in like a month "uwu"Did she agree? I don't really understand
>>20796025No and you should stop talking to her
>>20796028I feel like she did agree but why not keep talking to her
>>20795625nahshe a hoe
So I went to visit her at her department at work today and she was like "oh why are you here" and I said "I just wanted to say hello and see how you are doing" and I got her some cookies and she was like smiling and her face went a small bit red and she said thanks so much. then she asked me if i'm free on Saturday and asked me if I'd like to go for some drinks with her and her friends. Is this good?
I found this outside? Girls and boys any idea what this is
>>20796151>>20796156My bad my connection is slow
>>20796151>>20796156>>20796161Looks like drugs that would fit in an anus.
>>20796165What kind of drugs would you guess?
>>20795625Nah, she is responsible for her loose lips.>>20795529You should focous on having clear goals before getting into relationships. Because when you solidify goals that conflict with what your SO wants, they will leave and find somebody else to agree with.
>>20796176That's when you take one out and try to find pill numbers. Google them.
>>20796067. . . Yes? It's certainly not bad
>>20796203But what if I want to be more than friends?
Be honest women, should I try to ask her to hang out again?>like girl>know her through mutual friends as an acquaintance but not super well>get busy with work at start of 2019, don’t see her for a while>around last week think to myself I haven’t seen her in a while>ask if she wants to come grab a beer with me and some of our mutual friends>she’s down, goes out with us>have a pretty good time overall, don’t think I spilled spaghetti too hard outside of maybe being a touch too vulgar with the conversation (as in swearing a bit much for the conversation for the whole table, not sexually harassing her or anything)>before she leaves mention I’m heading to this event over the weekend, ask if she wants to come with>if I’m around sure>day comes by>awful weather to start the day>send her a sort of confirm text to see what she’s up to “i’m Waiting out the weather a bit but I’m still heading there if it clears up” etc.>says she’s also waiting out weather but to keep her in the loop>weather actually does get good maybe two hours before said event, shoot her a text saying it’s cleared up and I’m down to meet at X>at this point I assume she’ll probably just send back a “changed my mind too busy” text since it’s been a bit of a hectic day for travel planning with all the snow coming and then melting>instead get no text back at allIt’s been three days and no response. She had actually been throwing me some decent signs of interest towards me both at the bar and in past times we had seen each other. Am I overthinking this like any autist would? Did she ghost me to try and get me to take a hint, or do you think it was just a “I’m busy but forgot to text” sort of thing. More importantly should I ignore it and ask her what she’s doing this weekend as if it never happened?
>>20796183Succubus, would you like to test drive my new mouth?
why do girls get so angry when you refuse to fuck them?
>>20796225>More importantly should I ignore it and ask her what she’s doing this weekend as if it never happened?This>>20796260lol not really>>20796272If you're not down to fuck, then I've got better options for dating. Tf are you on about, m8?
>>20796285>then I've got better options for dating.so do i babe lol
>>20796285>ThisYou don’t think it looks desperate? And should I try to invite her to do something one on one again, or go more the group of friends route?I guess my original intent was to get her in a group the first time so I wasn’t just asking her out completely out of left field after not talking for several months, and when that went fine I used that to ask her to something that didn’t involve other people
>>20796207Maybe she just wants to get to know you better first? Maybe she's the type that will feel more comfortable if she's with her friends at first? Idk her personality but I don't see how her asking you to make plans isn't a good sign, not to get your hopes up unjustly.
>>20796285>guy gets denied sex>moves on>girl gets denied sex>goes on a vindictive rampage against him
Please help me out>Meet girl on dating app>Click instantly, text a bunch>Same humor, natural flow of conversation, positive emotions>Meet up for date soon>Spend hours together on first date, have first kiss>Meet up for second date, end up at her place, end up naked in bed>All over me, can't keep hands off me>She confesses her lack of sexual experience to me, only had sex once and it was painful and bad>Teach her to blow me and jack me off (she is bad at it, so I buy the sexual inexperience)>Eat her out and finger her, she is super sensitive>She says she is not ready for penetrative sex yet>I understand, I got off, so w/e>Spend the night, lots of cuddles and exploring bodies well into the morning hours>Feelings of intimacy>Can't see each other for one and a half weeks>Squeeze in coffee date before, goes well, this girl seems really into me>While apart, we text a bunch>Today at like 10pm she just casually says she is going to a (male) friends place for "potato chips" for about one and a half hours, so she wont be texting>Act nonchalant about it>Doubt creeps upWhat the hell? Who goes hanging out at a friends place late at night to eat chips?Do you think she is banging this guy? We have not known each other for long, so I don't wanna ask and look needy.Why would she even tell me this? Some sort of shit test?Cause I'm not gonna lie, this is perturbing me. Thoughts?
dude-anonshypothetically, if you saw your oneitis was pregnant by another man, what would you feel?
>>20796365I would feel nothing, cause only retards have oneitis.
>>20796272To not get dicked is a foreign concept for women in the dating world. While yes there are exceptions for chick there are 3 dudes who want to bang her, and for every dude there are only usually periods of high success with multiple women with long droughts in between.>>20796285>Dating>FuckI actually don't try to fuck on the first date to be honest. It takes me a while to warm up to someone, I can't really access my lizard brain for boning if I don't feel comfortable around someone. I am guessing that post was about refusing sex after a first or second date, OR a girl proposed sex to him that he didn't quite like and shut her down.I am just assuming though and assuming makes a ass out of you and me so who knows.
>>20796365i would laugh at the world of chaos and misery she's about to unleash on herself
>>20796365I had oneitis before. Honestly I was happy because 1, she wasn't gonna come back around to drag me back in anymore and 2, I knew I wasn't the one that was enslaved by having a baby with her. The bad thing about Oneitis is that 95% of the time its with a person that you could never have a successful, or happy relationship with.
>>20796355lower expectations and be ready to walk away
Question for females. I am a male and recently I messed up a thing me and this girl had. We stopped talking as much but not all together. Recently I made amends and she still said she had feelings for me. However, she said that I(me) wasn't ready for a relationship. I was then told I have to figure out how to be ready on my own. Any advice?
>>20794476Tbf I'd peace the fuck out at that line too. Not because "oh, she wants commitment". The "future husband" bit is fine.Then you get to the >preferably soonand every single red flag imaginable goes off, because that reads a lot less like "I'd like children after I'm in a stable married relationship" and a lot more like "I will punch holes in all of your condoms if I get any conceivable chance".>but that's just paranoiaNo, I know that on familial issues, courts are stacked so far against men that it's a kangaroo court on the best of days. If a girl entraps into getting her pregnant I'm 99% fucked out of a large amount of future wages.The only way to win the game as a man is to not play, as much as it pains me to say it.
>>20795335It would be good for my self esteem